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cant have sex with my IOS wife because my dick doesn't fit her portussy so now i have to go to the shitfuck apple store and buy the like 200 dollar strapple

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‘germanic warrior with helmet’ - osmar schindler (1902)

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Published Jan 14, 2025

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hear me out wheel

step 1: spin the wheel step 2:

i left out a LOT of characters i found way too conveniently attractive on this one. have fun

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Why does every therapist tell me that I’m so bright and confident and articulate, can you please help me deal with the gaping hole in my chest

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It recently became department policy to purchase all our animal care supplies online and have them shipped, but my work location (public park) doesn't have a mailbox, so we've been getting things shipped directly to the post office. Today I went to pick up a shipment of several hundred superworms but the postal workers are insisting that it's not possible to have packages shipped directly to the post office. I gave them a tracking number which revealed they were delivered a couple days ago and now they're looking for them. Somewhere in the post office are 500 lost worms.

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i wish people were nicer about the whole transgender thing

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what I really like about all these vintage couple’s portraits is that there is a very certain romatic decorum kept up – certain themes and poses – which, while of course being the mainstream preferred view of couples repeated throughout many studios, are just… so nice to look at. 

this staged affection, a mix of theatricality and intimacy, the couple holding still for a couple of moments and now immortalised in a very set sequence of embraces and kisses. there is a charm to it even when I can’t tell whether this was a genuine couple portait or just actors hired by the photographer.

the kiss on the bare shoulder (eyes perfectly averted), the cheek caress, the piano and the violin, the interrupted embrace, the woman tilted back as in a half-stopped dance…

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Hm

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honestly I think going down on a wound would be more interesting than finger fucking it or sticking a cock or dildo inside

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"Transvestites" Documentary filmed at Mojos interviewing trans women in Aotearoa (1971)

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why would you lie like that Google ai???

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usamericans, do you remember in the incredibles when syndrome made the robot go haywire just so he could swoop in and 'save the day'

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omg I just remembered that to love another person is to see the face of god