#i just have 0 motivation

[cleo-serotonin]

i just want school to be over already. im so burnt out from everything. i worked full time over spring break and have a speech due the first day back and i couldnt even enjoy the break bc ive just been stressed about it the whole time. then 2 papers due next month and finals coming up. juggling school, work, and family/friends feels impossible. like, you just cant give 100% to all while still giving 100% to yourself and it takes its toll after awhile.

[ed-died688]

Im still grumpy about them not dancing so here you go :]

[houseswife]

listen. this may sound like a reach but I don’t think house’s eagerness to go to the lesbian bar with thirteen was fetishistic glee. because like. okay. straight men love lesbians. but it’s only ever in a “conventionally attractive porn stars making out”, “I’ll pay these 2 strippers to kiss” sort of way, not exactly in the sense that they like to surround themselves with regular, real life sapphics. in fact, most hetero men despise the lesbians they meet in real life because they see them as either unattainable or unappealing disappointments to their fantasies. now, listen. house isn’t stupid, it’s not like he thought thirteen was gonna let him in on some hot girl-on-girl voyeuristic action, and he certainly knew he wasn’t about to get laid himself at a bar of ALL WLW. he’s an overconfident perv, sure, but not the kind who thinks he can ‘convert’ a gay gal, nor would he even desire to. the damn patient of the week is a guy who tried to ECT himself straight, which house obviously doesn’t believe is reasonable (this episode also gave us the shot where both house & thirteen are shown making a face in response to “I’m as straight as any of you!”)

with all of this laid out, you kinda have to assume that he was excited about the bar for another reason. dare I say it was simply… the joy of existing in a queer space as a queer person?

[vodid]

zero's pressure

[horrorshowcliche]

trying to get back into digital art

[redkehlchen]

Some 2003 season 2 doodles! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[journey-to-the-attic]

started lesson 48 and then changed my mind after the first part, so this isn't entirely up-to-date, BUT

there's a weird dissonance in nb s3 where the characters very frequently behave/talk to you with a weird disconnect as if you're still in the past, despite the fact that you returned to the present at the end of s2

like, you and lucifer have known each other for a good few years at this point. you would KNOW this about him. why is he telling you this like it's early on in an otome game and he's making his personality clear to you before you pick his route.

(and depending on your preferences, or even from a character relationship view, wouldn't it make more sense for mc to walk home with him semi-frequently at this point in the story??)

and i'm not going to shut up about it: where did the main mystery of obey me nightbringer - namely, nightbringer himself - go?? we still don't know who he is, what his motivations were, why he sent mc to the past, what barbatos's fucking deal in the opening movie is, nothing??? we're just back to silly school shenanigans with the simeon subplot lurking? and i haven't seen any posts about it so i can only assume it's not in any of the new lessons that i haven't done, though i'd love to be proven wrong

the only way i can see this working is (as i might have mentioned) simeon's subplot relating to nightbringer somehow, but even if that's the case, the execution so far has been so lacking that i'm not sure they'd see that firecracker of a plot point through to a satisfying resolution. if you want to drop something like that, you don't preface it with half a season of tensionless school competition bullshit

the dialogue has also just been.... incredibly dry? very surface level observation-of-the-plot that's the bane of many a poorly written visual novel. "we need to do this now." "i am going to explain this bit of worldbuilding to you." "wow, something is happening. i wonder what's going on." "this thing just happened??!?!"

my favourite parts of obey me aren't even the drama-heavy parts, it's when the brothers banter with each other in a way that feels genuine and fun, and those moments have been real thin on the ground as of late

[ace-lost-in-motherfucking-art]

love these silly little guys

[hecatesbroom]

something something both mina and lucy describe their love for each other before and during the time they spend talking about the men they love. lucy frames her exclamations of how much she loves arthur between a description of her love & longing for mina. mina begins her letter by telling lucy (in a very poetic way for an otherwise relatively pragmatic person) how she longs to be with her & talk freely, before she moves on to her plans for the future with jonathan

[raindropren]

thought I could ignore martyns personal lore but then I watched RatsSMP S1 and suddenly I'm confused and little obsessed

also despite having had no interest in PiratesSMP when it came out and not being into pirates and not knowing literally anything about it,, i am now watching Martyn's POV of it,,,,

the silly funny funky minecraft smp lore has consumed me,,, the silly weirdo liar has become extremely interesting,,,

[mwagneto]

the main problem other than my country (NOT AMERICA🇭🇺) being a corrupt fascist shithole is that if i stay in the same place doing the same thing for too long i start going insane like just the idea of having to do another year of uni makes me want to gnaw at the bars of my cage that doesn't exist. slow tigers chasing me etc. but like 1) i need a degree 2) i need to get out of the country asap 3) having a degree would help me to/when i get out 4) i cannot bear the thought of buckling down and doing my work til mid 2026 like oh my.god. taking a gap year is definitely helping i literally only spent like 2 weeks of this semester in my house but like i need my entire life to be like that not just a few months of it. maybe i should work as a steward on a plane or smtg i dont KNOWW

[smile-files]

some great bluish bakeoff stuff!

nickel later apologizes this episode; it's prompted by balloon's confrontation, but clearly nickel was in the mindset to apologize. the fact that he didn't raise the issue himself shows how he's still really afraid of how balloon would react. at the same time, though, he's acknowledging that "standing up for what [is] right" is important and good, even if it doesn't necessarily have the most beneficial outcome; notice how this not only shows how he accepts and understands balloon's anger towards him over the past few episodes (which had the consequence of losing them the challenge and getting bot eliminated), but also suitcase's anger towards him in the latter half of ii2 (which had the consequence of destroying their alliance).

in this episode, blueberry is assuming a role that has previously been taken by nickel and, more recently, silver spoon: he has placed himself at the top of the pecking order, calling all the shots, forcing everyone to roll with his punches. now everyone's in the same position balloon has been for a lot of his time in ii. silver, in throwing the chariot (:nerd emoji: actually a litter, they use the wrong word) at blueberry, is taking a stand against him -- announcing his frustration from being treated poorly.

for the longest time, balloon had "stay[ed] away from the thorns": beating around the bush, not bringing up the hard stuff, so he could maintain his positive relationship with nickel (and by extension his sense of having actually changed, which is linked with that that relationship represents) and not face his inevitable aggressive snap-back. but, though these proverbial thorns are painful, touching them helps him actually move ahead of all of that discomfort. balloon took a stand against nickel recently, which he was justified in doing, expressing his anger at nickel for both what he did and his denial of doing it -- and nickel harshly bit back about what balloon had done a while ago. balloon touched the thorn, and got the pain.

now, when nickel is yet again dancing around the problem, balloon's frustration returns. and, as silver took a stand against blueberry (which nickel supported), balloon channels his frustration and takes his own stand: technically also against blueberry, in trying to get himself and the others to the challenge before blueberry (thereby denying the domination he has imposed), but the drive itself came from nickel. he knows touching the thorns is painful, but that it's important and good. he should stand up for himself, and he does. he literally pokes himself with a thorn, and that literally sends him and the others ahead.

for the sake of this analogy/symbolic framework, it's worth noting how they are pushed forward because of the thorn, but there's still baggage: they fly through the desert only to crash, losing all of their ingredients. at this point, though, balloon's not going to let the pain of the thorn prevent him from touching it. balloon will keep standing up for himself, even if he keeps facing setbacks and pushbacks, because he knows what he deserves.

you can imagine that when balloon confronted nickel in this episode, he was expecting the same old same old: he'd say what he's mad about, and nickel would shut him down. but he doesn't. nickel listens to him. nickel lets balloon be angry at him, lets himself face the guilt he needs to feel. balloon is able to be mad at nickel without their relationship automatically going up in flames like before. and balloon is shocked! but will he forgive nickel? what'll he say? ...well, they're taken by tyler bombard before balloon could say anything...

for all this talk of the thorn, where's the blossom? well, here it is. thematic parallels indeed! recall how balloon misunderstanding "flour" as "flower" contributed to the grand slams losing the cooking challenge in ii2, which likely added fuel to the fire of nickel's hatred towards him -- now that same flower and that same misunderstanding is a representation of their friendship: it is what remains after the pain of the thorn. balloon finding value in this meager flower and presenting it to mephone at all (thereby insisting that it has value) is what wins them all the challenge. the flower and its beauty are not just a reward for the pain of the thorn, but a product of that pain.

balloon still hasn't responded to nickel's apology, because he hasn't had the chance to... but in disputing tyler's happiness about blueberry's death, balloon both recognizes his own attempt to change as well as nickel's: attempting that change is also a thorn, a very painful one (it literally killed blueberry), and both nickel and balloon have recognized the changes the other has tried to make and has succeeded in making. nickel is very reassured by this.

and as a final flower, a final reward for balloon's persistence in standing up for himself and what he believes in, balloon is chosen as the sole recipient of the immunity cookie -- silver spoon, someone with both a history of selfishness and a history of putting others below him, is the one to make this decision. balloon is finally being recognized, genuinely, for the changes he's made.

notably, balloon never accepts nickel's apology: no, he accepts that nickel is trying to make up for what he did. and, knowing from personal experience how hard it is to make that change and be acknowledged for making it, balloon is there to support him through it, and help him realize that he can be better -- and balloon is still on that "trek" himself, as we know balloon still has a lot of flaws to work through. they both know they have to touch the thorn, but they're all the more motivated to do so because they have a beautiful flower as well:

their genuine friendship.

...

balloon continues to be very charitable with blueberry, even as blueberry is critical of himself. nickel is also charitable -- telling blueberry to "just be nicer to people" implies that he believes that such a change is possible -- though of course he expresses this in his typical snarky way.

blueberry, though, doesn't believe that he can change, just like nickel used to. no matter how much balloon and nickel believe in him, he himself has to realize he has the capacity to improve before he can actually do it.

[wayfinderships]

Good afternoon gamers!!! I miss F.inal F.antasy. I miss it a lot-

[ayara-resara]

.

[loderlied]

here’s my veilguard companion tierlist about 50 hours in lmao

[flowey-apologist]

Kaze again

School is finally over so maybe I can post more often. Or atleast pump out better quality drawings🤒