#ive lost alot of motivation to post on this blog

[horrorshowcliche]

trying to get back into digital art

[ask-chibijeff]

I don’t know if any of you will really care about seeing this but I know there are 5,606 of you and I feel the need to address something. 

I havnt posted anything in like... 3 months? And I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation but I feel like ya’ll do since you all were the most dedicated lil shits I knew. 

I have lost touch with this blog. A lot of touch. It came to a time where I dreaded updating it cause of reasons I was really to afraid to bring up.

I’m gunna bring them up now. Let it all loose and maybe then can I start fixing it.

-I hated my artsyle. 

Full on loathed it. It was generic and always changing and I felt that it was a bad thing since a lot of ask blogs had consistent and recognizable artstyles and I didnt. 

-I was super jealous of other ask blogs. 

I have been making content on this blog for 3 years and yes Ive accumulated a nice following and I love all of you  but it really hurt to see some bright eyed and bushy tailed newcomer start a blog and literally hit with so many followers. 

It felt like i spent my time crawling up a wet dirt wall for attention and validation for the work I made and this new comer was given a ladder to clime cause they had a nicer artsyle.

Ofcourse I don’t think like that now. Yes I’m still jelly as hell, but in a good way. Those blog inspire me. And I couldn't be more happier for them. Hell I proud. 

I know now that neither of us have a say in who views our content and its all a literal lottery only a few can win at.

- I’m not that great at story telling

It came to my attention when i started making harder hitting storie lines and tried to add depth to the characters I created (By created I mean the versions I use in my blog) 

I was completely unable to finish the now named “Unspoken ark” Where we see the underlying issues of BEN’s trauma with water and drowning. 

I literally hit a road block and ultimately refused to do anything. Ever time I tried my art faltered and I began making mistakes in the craft I thought i had down. I began to crumble and make excuses to not finish it. 

There are more reasons I stopped doing this (and art in general) but they are very personal and would require a deeper explanation which I want to save for another time. 

But I don’t want any of you to worry.  Alot can happen in three months.  

I’m not giving up on this blog.

While i was the most stressful thing ive ever done it was also the most fun and consistent thing I ever did.  I had never stuck with anything for so long and it makes me happy that I feel motivated to continue it. 

But I’m gunna change how I do things. 

This will never be a professional ask blog. It is now and will forever be something I do for fun. It will also double as a place for me to mess around and play with my art. 

You all will see first hand how I’m developing as an artist. 

I just hope you’re all ok with that. 

- Mun Jay

[101hellhounds]

i am a terrible person

i have been tagged by so many amazing people but i haven’t been answering. its been piling up and i kept meaning to get around to it. even though i haven’t been responding, people kept tagging me and i feel so grateful to have amazing followers. i took a long break from tumbler but i hope to get back into it. i’m going to answer all the questions down below. thanks again to the people who tagged me <3 

@assbuttboyfriends tell us your favorite character from ten different fandoms

1. supernatural: Castiel 

2. the walking dead: Glenn (forever and always)

3. lost: Daniel Faraday

4. parks and rec: Ben Wyatt

5. once upon a time: Killian Jones

6. attack on titan: Levi

7. House: Wilson

8. psych: Sean 

9. breaking bad: Jessie

10. scrubs: Dr. Cox

@whisperdestiel tagged me to answer 10 questions and ask 10 questions

1. Best concert/ convention you’ve ever been to? I’ve been to one of each and i don’t know if i could choose. there was Twenty one pilots at Madison Square Garden and a Supernatural convention. i loved both so much

2. favorite type of chocolate bar or snack? i actually tried the airhead sour strips that Jared had in his trailer behind the scenes, and now that’s my fave.

3. fave medium to work with? i’m not too artsy and i wish i knew more but whenever i do art, i use pencil. i always intend on painting or using pen over it but don’t want to ruin it. 

4. have you ever been to the capital of your country? yes, i’ve went with a foreign exchange student once to see the white house.

5. favorite Christmas film? elf obvs

6. classic rock or modern rock? i guess modern rock but i typically only listen to my select fave bands. i don’t even pay attention to genre really

7.favorite musical? Sweeney Todd

8. one item from bucket list? idk if this counts but i want to live to see twenty one pilot’s next album. 

9. hot or cold weather? i always want the opposite that i have. i hate the cold, but i also hate bugs.

10. is there any charity you feel passionate about? not exactly right now, but i love supporting the ones that the cast of spn feel passionate about. 

@assbuttboyfriends 

1. fave musical at this time? Twenty One Pilot. Panic! at the disco is a close second.

2. movie you’re most exited about for the upcoming year? maybe the Lego batman movie. i loved the first one. 

3. beanies or scarves? i just got my hair cut short so i love beanies now. i already have a collection going XD

4. last thing you ate? i had Wendy’s for dinner. Asiago ranch chicken club

5. last person you texted? my friend sarah about jensen posting pics of him and his kids obvs

7. fave season and why? fall because of all the colors and the start of a new school year

8. left or right twix? i don’’t eat twix and im not sure of the last time i even had one if ever…

9. who’d win in a fight, captain america or captain kirk? i would say captain america cause i don’t recall kirk having powers.

10. avengers or x-men? avengers

11. dream concert? mine already happened before i even knew what it was. Panic!, TOP, and FOB all went on tour together. sigh

@insertbottomdeanpunhere answer 11 ask 11

1. one tumbler i love? other than the amazing tumbler people who tagged me? @wielder-of-words

2. if you could pick anyone, dead or alive, anywhere in the world, who would you want to join you in what you’re doing right now? i think it would have to be Misha Collins. we’d just chill and talk.

3. fave book/ book series? i don’t read often but when i do, i love the book so much. Felicia day’s book was addicting but i loved invisible monsters so much too. ugg i cant choose.

4. what happened in your latest dream? one of my new years resolutions was to write down my dreams every night so i can say exactly. in my dream… i got bit by a spider but i was too busy to go to the doctors -_-

5. my dream vacation? idk, maybe a cruise with lots of activities, or an uneventful trip to a beach hotel. anywhere alone and free food ofc

6. fave thing that happened in 2016? figuring myself out a bit better? baby steps

7. one of my fave fanfics i’ve read? i seriously wish i read more but i remember one. it was so long ago i don’t remember the name. Cas was def and dean and him grew up together. it was cute af

8. where do you get motivation/ inspiration from? like life motivation? i would say by the famous people i surround myself with, like Thomas sanders, Jacksepticeye,  Cryaotic, Misha Collins, and basically the whole spn cast. i love them all so much

9.top 5 things about yourself? 

A. i’m introverted

B. i’m always armored with my fandom wear.

C. im addicted to soda

D. …and pens. 

E. i like what i like and i’m not ashamed of any of it. i’ll wear it all on my sleeve

10. whats something other people do or like that you hate? is oranges a good answer? oranges are the worst, man. ick

11. whats your honest opinion on the person who tagged you? ok, i dont scroll through tumbler. i have a select few blogs that i have notes on for, and @insertbottomdeanpunhere is definitely one of them. i love my system because i get to know the blog well and i honestly love it and i wouldnt keep the notes on for a blogger if i didnt. (sorry if its weird i have notes on for you XP)

@insertbottomdeanpunhere list ten good thngs that happened in 2016! (could be about you, the world, your friend, ect. as long as its something positive)

1. i found thomas sanders 

2. i got my cat Baby. (named after the 1967 Chevy impala ofc + he’s all black) 

3. i got to go to my first SPN convention

4. i got two pics with misha and i got to ask him a question during a panel!

5. i went to my first concert! TOP @ madison square garden

6. i started writing my fave fic yet. ive gotten alot done and i’m proud of it and i’m exited to publish it all once its finished

7. JENSEN’S TWINS!!!!

8. i had my first job

9. got to see my friend who lives far away quite a few times last year

10. Jared announcing he’s going to have a daughter

11. arrow and zepplin ackles

[weightlossand]

The First Post

SO! This is way over due and I am literally talking WAY bloody over due.

Ive been documenting pretty much most of my slimming world journey on my instagram: tpslimmingworld but I’ve decided to start a open blog for everyone to read. SIMPLE!

To start off this first post here’s a little story about me:

I’m 22, loud and love a party. That’s how people know me and that’s how I’ve always been PLUS, I’ve always been known as the chunky monkey. (Nobody’s ever actually called me that, even though I defiantly would’ve preferred that!) Throughout my school life I used to eat ALOT, get my mates to buy me all the canteen paninis , even when my mum and dad spent their mornings making me healthy lunches. I was a secret eater for a lot of my teen years, I carefully crafted out times when my parents would go to sleep to go make a mountain sarnie of ham, butter and crisps and then go and knick all the penguin bars and hide the wrappers under the sofa. (I once even ate a whole box of chocolate brownie nutri grains in about 2 minutes flat.)

Anyway! Besides all that, I loved food.

As unfortunately a lot of people do at school, I got bullied for my size. I’m not going to blame my whole entire overweight spiral from that because let’s face it, I just bloody loved a good sarnie... or 5.

I struggled a lot with depression as I grew into my teens, I never knew exactly where it stemmed from because I always had such amazing friends and a wicked family surrounding me but I guess, my feelings about my self esteem and my weight took me down that path. I struggled a lot with self harm which a lot of people never knew about (because let’s face It im bloody hilarious and I’m always the one to crack the jokes). I kept a lot of it to myself and food was always just a safety net for me.

As months went on, weight just gained and gained .. I stepped on the scales before I moved from home and I remember being around 14/15 st at 17 but me being me, I just swept it under the carpet. I never wanted to talk about my weight, I’ve always been very super sensitive about the topic and I just shoved anyone aside who said I needed to watch my weight.

I eventually moved to Brighton to start uni and lucky (if you can call it that ;)) met my girlfriend of 3 years, Courtaney.

Now we LOVED to eat. Fat roasts, McDonald’s, good food out, pies .... ANYTHING. We were as bad as each other and as you do when you’re in a happy relationship, you get comfortable. (Cheers for that babes)

This is when I got to my heaviest. On febuary of this year 2017, I weighed my heaviest. 17 STONE.

3 stone off of 20 stone at 21 years of age.

To me at the time, I always felt big but I just kinda’ again... brushed it under the carpet. (I was good at that)

Now a bit graphic for any lads who may be reading this, but I have always suffered with irregular periods. My whole teenage life, I’ve had a rough time. Either really painful ones, long ones sometimes for a month plus and just really bloody random ones - so, I decided to pluck up he courage and take myself to the doctor ....finally. I had a few blood tests (thanks to those numerous nurses who can NEVER find my veins and persevered haha), I had some tests and a very lovely nice and awkward smear kind of thing.

I was diagnosed this year with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and Metabolic Syndrome. 2 quite common Syndromes in over weight women and also is really hard to loose weight with this.

I researched into a few bits and their are very tiny slim chances of having children..so to be told that at 22, didn’t leave me feeling all that lovely. BUT, I was advised by the doctor I had about 5.5 stone to loose before I was in a healthy weight catergory for my age and height. She started me on metformin which is a diabetic medicine to help kick start weight loss but as I like a drink I stopped taking them as they can react quite badly with alcohol. (Standard Taygan)

I was morbidly obese. I still am, but today writing this, I have lost 1.5 stone.

Me and dad do boxing training once a week and we swim once a week. I occasionally punch him in the face at boxing (sorry mate) and You’ve probably all seen me on my little shitty bike pedalling around falling into the roads with shopping bags flying everywhere too. (I’m not professional yet)

I started with Slimming World about a year ago but have been on a rocky weight loss journey so far. My head is in the game and I have been absolutely motivated since I got told the news from the doctor but I have one hell of a journey in front of me.

And that is why I am starting this blog.

This is for every lady out there who suffers like me or anyone who really just struggles so much with loosing weight or being over weight.

I will log everything I do, everything I eat and my weight loss journey as time goes by.

If you want to change, I want to inspire and help people and hopefully one day you can look at this blog and say.... I did it too.

So simply. That’s it.

Xx

[idkwtfimdoingheregoesnothin-blog]

First post

So right now Im in the early stages of gathering what I need for my first cosplay. I bought my wig, and man I feel SO STUPID in it lol. Ive just never felt like I was cool enough to pull off a cosplay. I want to get over that, since Ive wasted years wanting to cosplay and never had the guts to do so. I figured Im only getting older and now is the time to start! Theres always a reason why people who want to cosplay, dont. Alot of it has to do with their appearance ; Im definitely one of those people. My weight has always held me back in everything in life. As a teen I weighed 150 and to me that was too heavy, so I lost weight. I went down to 130 and was really scrawny, but I still was not satisfied. Eventually I gained it back (and some). Fast forward to today, when I WISH I weighed 150lbs! Lol. Im using cosplay as motivation to finally get in shape and change my lifestyle. Its only been a week since I started dieting and my goal is to lose quite a few lbs before I debut my first cosplay. So this blog will probably also document my weight loss journey as well. Wish me luck :$