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#bc if im already feeling this way now;; how am i gonna feel when the classes are even harder and i have to take more of them?
aroanthy · 6 months
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kiryuu sibling stasis post-32 is so interesting to me. nanami tries to leave and is (temporarily but also, crucially, violently) prevented from doing so by touga and akio. after this experience she puts distance between herself and them: she leaves touga’s phone in the car, she resigns from the student council (though she dons her old uniform still), she repeatedly dismisses and undermines the authority of the rose code, of end of the world, of akio, of touga. but she’s still in ohtori, isn’t she? uncomfortable with the idea of leaving, uncertain if it’s really possible. she tried before, and it hurt her. deeply. it’s so interesting to me, nanami’s agency and how she limits her exertion of it after 32, when she realises it for what it is. contrast that with touga, who accepts this weird stalemate between them, who is, really, uninterested in having any relationship of any kind with nanami if he can’t gain something from her. he’s very passive with her after 32, compared to the passivity he’d always feigned towards her before in order to stoke reactions from her and then exploit them. i was thinking about how touga has always been able to sever his relationship with nanami, but chosen not to; first out of a sense of obligation (‘we should live to help each other’) then a realisation of how that could be exploited. i was thinking about how nanami has never realised her ability to leave, in part because it is limited by touga and the harm he does her. i was thinking about the desperation and confusion akio calls out to anthy with as she leaves. i was thinking about how different that is to the kiryuus’ strange semi-breakdown; touga doesn’t want or need nanami, and nanami might love her brother but she cannot trust him or feel safe around him, doesn’t want to see him anymore; she’s itching to leave, and just a little scared (you know, because last time she tried that her brother assaulted her), and he’s not doing anything because ignoring her means he doesn’t have to deal with the emotions of her leaving or staying. something something gendered power dynamics something something tragic siblings
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britneyshakespeare · 9 months
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My toxic trait is that I like how my incomplete drawings look better than the finished things
#im sorry i cant be her (my searching lines)#i cant stop thinking about this drawing i have a sinking feeling that im gonna be very unhappy when its done#or. not unhappy. but not as excited as i feel about it now!#i only worked in two short chunks on it but both were pretty productive#i have a feeling that when i take the time to really dedicate myself to it im gonna fuck something up#like i can see areas i need to/can improve already but the glaring flaws are ok! bc it's not finished!#it OVERALL looks cool and LOOKS like it has the potential to turn out well#but will it... WILL IT??? WILL IT EVER?#i have never been so totally completely satisfied w any finished drawing ive dedicated myself to fully.#tales from diana#this is also only the second time ive done a really deliberate self-portrait that wasnt in some for or another. practice#like of course ive drawn my face before. not that often actually. but since yes i do draw. i have drawn myself#i probably should've drawn myself more times for how often i think id like a nice picture of myself#but then again its not gonna be so 'nice' if i make it and am not totally happy w it?#see one of the ppl who inspired me to learn to draw is ned @sneez my dearest. he's spoiled me before#and drawn me very beautifully on several occasions and it's very much a thing to move one's heart#to see someone dedicate their talent to depicting YOU.#and i might say HE has made me look more beautiful in art than i think i'll ever look in the flesh#which is not to say he drew me inaccurately. but he's so talented that his art is more beautiful than life.#and i dont compare myself in skill to him bc he's been doing it for YEARS and way more trained than me in the visual arts.#like it simply wouldn't be fair so i only compare myself to myself. naturally#but i used to think. very VAINLY i might say. that if i could draw like him id draw beautiful pictures of myself all the time#well ce n'est pas ca mon ami. since learning to draw i've found im much more interested in drawing ppl i find beautiful#rather than myself. im not art. not through my own eyes at least.#i should really draw ned sometime. i really should.#actually somewhat embarrasingly i tried to draw him like 5 or 6 years ago. and i NEVER tried to draw then#i did show him tho and he thought it was very impressive but that's probably just bc he loves me. xoxox#maybe ill post that someday as a throwback just for the hell of it. lol. thatd be cute
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toastsnaffler · 10 months
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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....
#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space#like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else#other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh#to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn#i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding#and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt#unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow#and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation#abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol#and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever#and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress#i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes#like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up#a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl#ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs#im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo#.diaries#zzzzz
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theood · 2 days
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If I could change one thing in my life I'd make it so no one ever commented on food
#elias.zip#im so fucking tired of it!!! joking or not its fucking degrading. just constantly. i get it im so fucking unhealthy all i eat is processed#chemical slop thats gonna kill me at 30 and im the unhealthiest person in the fucking work#world* you dont need to fucking remind me every goddamn day. even the comments that arent bad still make me feel likr shit for eating!!! i#already feel really bad about how poorly i eat. i literally cannot fucking starve myself more basically over this kind of comment.#like damn!!! i sure do have a lot of body issues for someone whos skinny WHY am i even complaining in the first place likr i used to fucking#hate my stomach and its noy when#even* big and i think its gone down bc i eat even less now!!! i cannoy make ANYONE happy no matter what i do or what i cook its always comme#nt comment comment in everything i fucking do. i swear to god im never going to fucking recover from living with them. i would've run away i#f i grew up with them im serious#negative#ihateithereihateithereihateithere#nothing's working out. i csnt make friends. i csnt keep them. im a fucking deadbeat im just like my dad in every conceivable way no ones pr#oud of me no matter what i do and i fucked myslef from any opportunity i had to get out of the system what is the fucking point#i jsut dont knoe anymore!!!!!! its not like the Future even looks good or that i see myself anywwhre but in the exact same spot because all#i ever fucking manage to achieve is self sabotage and whining about how no one loves me. god!!!!!
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quodekash · 2 years
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im rewatching the no one else like me music video bc the brainworms are writhing, and it keeps randomly hitting me, over and over again, that 
a) those flashbacks happened. they HAPPENED. soundwin actually DID THAT, in ACTUAL CANON?? THEY CANONICALLY ARE IN LOVE WHY DO THEY KILL ME SO MUCH 
b) SOUNDWIN ARE FREAKING BOYFRIENDS NOW????? 
c) NEXT EPISODE IS THE LAST EPISODE????????? 
idk how the flip im supposed to survive without this silly little band every single week 
surely theyll renew it for a second season 
or just a soundwin spinoff pls 
so many of us have asked for it I NEED IT OH MY GOSH 
like. this show has killed me twelve times over. but without the show, i think i might literally cease to exist. i know ive said it a lot, but i genuinely dont know how the flip im gonna get through life without new canonical soundwin content filling my screen and brain every single friday night / saturday morning 
(and literally while i was typing this out, captain posted this 
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HE FREAKING GETS IT BRO) 
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cleo-serotonin · 6 months
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i just want school to be over already. im so burnt out from everything. i worked full time over spring break and have a speech due the first day back and i couldnt even enjoy the break bc ive just been stressed about it the whole time. then 2 papers due next month and finals coming up. juggling school, work, and family/friends feels impossible. like, you just cant give 100% to all while still giving 100% to yourself and it takes its toll after awhile.
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pepprs · 2 years
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mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i literally can’t quit omg i feel so fucking bad. it wasn’t so bad this time but also HE LITERALLY FORCED ME TO COME OUT LKKE GIRL HELLO???#he cornered me and asked me if redacted had to do w my s*duality and i was like ummmmm. yeah 🫣 and he was like now why didn’t you say that#the first time 🤨 and i was like …………. 😳. AND THEN i asked him why he asked me that and he said he’s been waiting for the right moment to ge#it out of me and he always suspected it LIKE HELLO I THINK THAT IS POSSIBLY WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE I WANTED TO DIEEEEEE#and i lied right to his face abt stuff w my mom and also the redacted situation bc i always feel in trouble whenever i talk abt them w him#and also he asked how things were w my mom and i told him and he was like that’s great but how are things with YOU and yoir mom 🤨. UGHHHHH#and i can’t leave bc his supervisor is gravely ill and they haven’t talked abt doing inter generational therapy w me yet which is what they#want to do <- hasn’t looked it up yet and doesn’t know what it receals about me. and he also is like yet agai. trying to get me to separate#myself from data expunged AND ITS LIKE OMGGGG NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHY DO I HAVE TO THROW AWAY A GOOD THING THAT IS WORKING FOR ME JUST FOR#THE SAKE OF CONFORMING TO SOME STUOID MENTAL HEALJT STANDARD. so yeah ummmmm idk what to dooooo i know im not getting the best possible car#and this whole thing has been a cluster fuck but he validated my reaction to something for the first time like EVER today and he has plans#and what if they work. and like omg if i drop it on him he’ll be so hurt and surprised like it will really come out of nowhere and i don’t#want to look like even more of a fool to him than iam. but he says i can’t withhold stuff bc it’s doing me a disservice and we need to see#the fullness of who i am to get to the root and solve problems and stuff but it’s like uhmmmm… but you don’t make me feel safe for reacting#the way i do or wanting things to work out in a way you disagree with so how can i bring out all the parts of me if you don’t make me feel#safe and unjudged for doing so like. lol. the thought of leaving him makes me feel so guilty and stupid bc it s like why are you throwing a#away sliding scale therapy that could turn out to be really useful and running away when ppl tell you things abt yourself you don’t like to#admit and force you to look at your hard ugly truths. but also the thought of working w him until july after already having had 16 weeks of#this literaly makes me fucking insane so idk what to do and finding a new counselor would be so hard and i don’t have time or money. UGHHHH#purrs#delete later#like how am i gonna walk out on him when we just spent all this time talking abt how this new technique will bring me into a new season. AU
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stupidnaturals · 1 year
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#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me#bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer#and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on !#unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. '#and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out#and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like#' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that#but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to???#and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand??#also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me '#or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever#and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance#which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away#like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!!#oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2#or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too '#and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs?#or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours#anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie?#so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again!#i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me#and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening????#anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me
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gibbearish · 2 years
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vent
#had an issue a while ago where my bf was leaving his dirty clothes in piles on the floor which is fine except when the piles#are kept in the same room as the litterbox and the cat takes that as a cue to start pissing in piles of clothes#so i told him he couldnt do it anymore he said ok and then a bit later i caught the cat right as he was abt to piss in said clothes again#and when i was like 'hey i said you cant do this it can ruin your clothes if it gets left there' and he was like 'oh yeah i know but it's#my clothes so that's a risk i just decided to take' which uhhhh No????? no in so many ways?????????#but i didnt process how wack that is at the time so i just moved on and was like 'no but for real you cant do this anymore like not#a suggestion like legit This Cannot Continur Happening bc the end of this road is that the cat learns pissing in clothes piles is#ok whenever he wants' which did actually get him to stop but that was apparently enough learning time for mr carrot#we've had a few issues with it not toooo bad but its definitely been getting steadily more frequent#anyways guess whose electric blanket got pissed in today bc he left it in a pile on the floor and taught the cat its ok to piss in those#im having trouble giving a shit about it in the ways i should#like. idc that the blanket is maybe ruined#when he bought it he said it was for both of us but its just his so like idc but what i AM feeling is mad at him#cause like. i told him not to#and i shouldn't have HAD to tell him not to‚ 'the cat is pissing in my clothes so i will make it no longer possible for that to happen'#should be a no brainer i cannot imagine going 'welp i guess if it happens it happens' ITS PISS IN YOUR CLOTHES SITTING STALE FOR#WHO KNOWS HOW LONG and now we have to be hypervigilant abt Any Fabric Ever and who knows if itll escalate even further#hes already escalated from exclusively floor fabric to pissing in MY clothes that i was keeping on a table#like. the next stop is obviously couches/beds but like once they learn something its real hard to train them not to#and im just. frustrated that this is just gonna be yet another thing i have to deal with all the time when he shouldve just#Not Decided It Was Fine For The Cat To Piss In His Clothes In The First Place Hello?????!!!#but i also feel bad bc i feel like im holding a grudge about something small but i also Cant Let It Go#usually when the thing im mad abt is something insignificant its annoying for a bit then i let go but im just like !!!!!! what the fuck!!!!#idk. whatever#its his problem now idk how to get the heating psrt separate from the blanket part so i just sprayed some urine enzyme#on it and he can figure out wtf to do with in once he gets home in like two hours#and if thats too long and the smell gets baked in. oh well i guess#he hasnt been able to smell since we got covid anyways so like. its whatever i guess he can stew in a cat piss blanket if he wants#but i also cant tell if this is just a side effect of my General Irritability over the last few months and i really am mad abt nothing#ESPECIALLY because i keep saying it doesnt really directly effect me at this point then its like ok why are you so mad abt it then
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tkbrokkoli · 2 years
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a colleague of mine used to be a professional athlete in the 80s and today she showed me and another colleague photographs from back then and she casually mentioned that two of her team mates outed themselves as trans men and two as lesbians later in life and i was like !!!!!! im
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#i want to write more but im not sure what im feeling and how to express it#she used the phrase 'man in a woman's body' to mean they are trans man which i found v good actually#bc she seemed to fully except and support them. these guys and dykes should be in their late 50s now i think? idk any older queer ppl#so having an older colleague casually mention that felt v good#also they all were from a small town i think#just like me!!! i know several of my high school friends are also queer. like. me and at least 2 others#but we all outed ourselves way later. years after high school#oh fuck i just realized i completely misspelled 'accept'. i've had a long week ugh#anyway tomorrow i gotta make a horrible phone call w my broken phone and i already hate it and i'm dreading it#abt my phone. it doesn't charge anymore so i have it turned off at all times so i can make phone calls when the urgent need arises#and tomorrow i have to call electrician. not bc i want to but bc i was ordered to and i absolutely fucking hate it#*an electrician. or a janitor. idk yet#the other person who could call instead of me is just straight up rejecting to do it but it rly urgently needs to be Done#so im gonna have to step up as the mature person now and i tell myself 'it needs to be done end of discussion'#but i hate that i am always always always the person who has to take care of uncomfortable things like making phone calls and shit#like. i get it. it's necessary. there will always be phone calls i have to make. it's just. why me??? i fucking hate this shit!!! AAAAAAAHHH#anyway i should go to bed. i haven't checked my notifs yet it's been a rly exhausting week. hope you guys are ok thi#*tho
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lilgynt · 6 months
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my friends like invite him to go clubbing with us! i’m gonna club my brain in.
#personal#one i invited someone else already so im not gonna be like hey single friend lemme go off with whatever this dude is and leave you with#my friend you don’t know with her boyfriend#then that’s such a weird driving situation#like do we stick with the original game plan of having friends bf drive and then have that dude meet up or#do i have him pick me up and go pick up friend which insane to ask second hang out#ah!!!#and then it’s like well you’re only considering the second possibility bc you enjoy his company and wouldn’t mind him driving you home#which leads into like well. what is this.#cause yes we’ve been talking for like a few weeks#had a very nice date#talked about getting TESTED#is it like. are we. just talking are we hitting and quitting are we gonna be 🫣#which is like what do *i* want#which crazy enough! i actually really like this dude so i wouldn’t mind a relationship#but then it’s like okay. what if he doesn’t like me. or only wants sex. hnnnn#and now i’m embarrassed about everything like damn he fr saw me spam my insta im gonna kill my self#what’s the appropriate amount of time to respond to a message- not what’s the appropriate#to ignore than respond but what makes it seem like i’m not waiting by the phone#which novel experience outside of friendship#and i’m trying to logic myself out of it like hey. good experience whichever way this goes#you got some talking practice went on a proper date that wasn’t dennys that you half paid for after they explained their whole books plots#I CAN TALK MY LEGITMENT POLITICS AND BELIEFS.#experience. which great. doesn’t do anything the whole im fumbling feeling like at alll#this is mortifying and i hate it. like i cannot exaggerate it’s a little disgusting#oh and then okay he has the time and does go clubbing#I CSNT FUCKING DANCE.#and the WORST bit. is im kicking my feet and giggling when we’re talking like die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i’m getting butterfly’s listening to the playlist he made me#regardless how this goes i am not doing this again this is way too stressful
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victim9d · 9 months
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in 1.5h it will be christmas day but i am. Im. There is dread
#theres. idk how to say it i just. i didnt have the money for gifts really and one hasnt arrived#and i feel like im failing christmas but thats not.#the dread is. theres.#i have been feeling an intense loneliness as of late that i think is just a product of living w 3 people who#are all in a relationship w each other so they all talk all the time and hang all the time and#just never really talk or hang w me anymore the way we used to#and theres a. i could barely afford anything for them and one of them i was told not to get anything for#and now its. im.#theres a pretty big pile of presents under the tree and it looks festive and cute but its. theres.#its a little discouraging to see a Large Pile and not a single one having my name on it#and its bc one of them has told me already that the package they ordered for me was delayed#its just. idk the season is only adding more to the way I've been feeling for a Whilr#but i dont have. theres not really#i dont have any other friends. and i know the family time tomorrow will be. not very good for me#and its just very. im dreading it.#and then next week theres a day where my flatmates having her birthday party and ive got work the next day#so i have to wake up at 4am so i just know its gonna suck#bc the partys probably still gonna be going kinda hard long past when i need to go to bed#i am just. i have not been feeling good lately and i am trying to dive into tumblr and my hyperfixations#in an attempt to compensate but its. its not really working#i wish the store was open tomorrow so i could just work and not have to deal w the holiday lmao#negative cw
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i-am-emo-shit · 1 year
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#i feel like im the side character bestfriend in a poorly written book whose only role is for the plot furtherment#like yk i only exist so that the protagonist can talk ahout her love interest with me and come to realisations on her own and then go live#her happily ever after with her bf#is life all about romantic relationships???? is this how it's going to be forever???#i miss when we would spend hours talking about the new season of mismatched or show each other songs#now all we do is talk about her bf and after that she falls asleep#im so fuckinh sick of them my head hurts when i listen to her talk about him#and this is the way it always ends i start to hate them little by little everyday and then one day ill be like kindly fuck off i don't love#you anymore#ive already lost two childhood besties cause of this and now i think im gonna lose her too and then i will have no one to lose#she would be horrified if she knew that i think she doesn't care about me as a person cause in her head im so important to her her bestest#friend from 6th std the only person who's privy to everything her family trauma her college friends her bf her sex life#why don't i see it then why don't i feel it fuck yaar#i never ever feel it what's wrong with me are those people wrong or am i wrong???????#and ex gf said she'll never get back together with me bc i can handle the highs of thr rship well but not the lows i run away#and i hate vulnerability and showing weakness and sabotage all my relationships and push everyone away#ugh im so tired of being myself
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sugawhaaa · 2 months
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ATEEZ REACTION🥧
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🍨Creampie first time 🍨
Warnings::SMUT
genre:: creampie (obviously) all of them are missionary :) praise, cursing, squirting (san) oral (san, Wooyoung) overstimulating (Seonghwa, San)
Pairing:: ateez x fem!reader
Ateez headcanons masterlist:: here
A/N:: MY UTERUS IS IN SO MUCH PAIN RN IM LITERALLY CONVUSLING FROM THE WAIST DOWN WHILE TRYING NOT TO VOMIT but yk it's okay bc I always get cramps a week before, during and after my period 🥰 but on a serious note should I see a doctor or...am I just a woman
Taglist:: @haarrrys
🌸Hongjoong🌸
-Argue with me all you want but this man is possessive as hell over you so when you first told him he could cum inside he lost his shit.
-"R-Really?" He would look at you stunned for a moment before smiling. "Okay get naked right now,"
-he'd drag out the sex for so long making sure you both get the best climax of your entire lives. He wants this to be so special.
-when he first gets fully inside you without a condom you can see the lust just fill his eyes.
-he would try to hold off cumming to get you as excited as he can and when he finally gets that one last thrust in, his mind just blanks out.
"Baby I'm gonna cum soon," Hongjoong says softly as he rubs one of your nipples with his thumb. His other hand is holding his body up, his hand right next to your head. "I can't wait to fill you up," he moans softly. "Your gonna be all mine," he says with a little voice crack as he finally thrusts one last time before his cock starts twitching.
Hongjoongs eyes go wide as his mouth hangs open in a perfect O, gasping for air softly. He's never felt your bare pussy clenching around him while he cums. Each layer of your pussy hugging him as he fills you up.
On your end, his cum comes in waves. The first wave was unimaginable. It didn't feel real that's how good it was. The second one felt so warm as it kept going up and up your body. The final wave was almost too much to bear. You felt so full. The fullest you've ever been.
Hongjoong slowly pulls out and watches his cum drip from your pussy. He can't even speak he's that stunned. You lay there, feeling his cum travel up your body. He catches some of the cum dripping out and puts it back into your pussy.
🌸seonghwa🌸
-second guesses reality
-"Are you sure? What if I get pregnant?" He'd be so worried that something might go wrong but you assure him it's safe
-when he first pushes inside you he goes wild. He bites his lips and looks up with a desperate expression, cursing under his breath
-once he gets into it though he can't stop. At all.
-"I'm gonna fill you up right to the top and you're going to take it all."
-He wouldn't just creampie you once, it would be multiple times.
-He'd always try to cum at the same time as you, making your entire body convulse
Seonghwa gently thrusts into you from behind while on top of you. His body is pressed right against your back, his mouth right next to your ear. He whispers all kinds of dirty words as his hips slap against your ass. "That's it, you're gonna take all of my cum," he hisses, his thrusts slowly increasing in speed. His hands gently hold your hands next to your face, buried in the pillow.
Your hair is a knotted mess on the bed from his relentless thrusts and hair tugs. You feel your body being pushed further into the bed as the mattress scoots up closer to the headboard. Your soft muffled moans make Seonghwa grin micheviously. "You're already so full, aren't you? Listen to it," he chuckles as each pound of his cock moves the cum inside you. The squelching and sloshing echoes in the room. "Your such a good girl~"
🌸Yunho🌸
-taken aback by the sudden confidence
-"Alright sure, I guess,"
-on the inside, he's really really excited. Not in like a turned-on way but in a "is this the next step of our relationship!?" Way
-makes it super sexual and does all kinds of little things he knows you love
-would play quiet sensual music in the background and make the lights dim
-bro is definitely eating you out afterwards
"That's a good girl, let go for me," Yunho rubs his thumb over your bottom lip with a smile, his hips following the rhythm of the song playing in the background. His touch was gentle but seductive. "No one's here, it's just me and you. Let it all out baby," he speaks in a soothing voice that makes your body heat up.
You felt yourself submitting to his words, your orgasm creeping closer as you fell into the whirlwind of lust Yunho had been building for you. He grins as he feels you tightening. "Is my baby gonna cum? Let me hear those pretty sounds while you cum," he says in a slightly more possessive and commanding tone. You whimper softly and a rush of satisfaction rolls over Yunho.
This riles him up and his hips fall out of tune with the song, pounding into you faster and harder. You shake and squirm beneath him, your whimpers slurring into moans and you finally feel the long-awaited peak you had been reaching for. Not only did you reach it, but so did Yunho. With one final victorious thrust, he bursts inside you, his cum spurting out into your pretty pocket.
"Good girl, good pretty girl," Yunho praises as he fills you up watching your eyes roll back in pleasure. He caresses the side of your cheek as your body has one final twitch of pleasure. He then pulls out before lowering his head between your legs, softly licking up your mixed pleasure.
🌸Yeosang🌸
-taken aback, like a lot
-"Are you sure? What if something goes wrong?" Another concerned baby >.<
-once he gets inside though, everything changes.
-he would genuinely need a minute to process this unreal feeling. He would rub his hands all over your body while adjusting
-I know no one will agree with me but this man has a slight breeding kink. Not excalty the fact of getting you pregnant but more of just filling you up and claiming you
-loves the way you hug him tightly
-fucking loves the texture of your walls and will roll his hips around to feel every grain of your pussy
Yeosang holds the back of your head gently pushing your forehead against his as he lowers a bit more of his body weight onto you. As he holds your head he entangles his fingers into your messy hair. The sound of his hips slapping against yours echo in the room and you don't even care that there will be bruises there tomorrow. "You're so gorgeous," Yeosang brings his head down to your neck, nuzzling into you as his thrusts become faster.
You arch your back up into him, wrapping your arms around his body as you feel climax fast approaching. You claw at his back, leaving red marks from your nails and Yeosang grins at the stings running down his back. He runs his tongue over your neck before kissing it softly. Yeosang feels your walls gripping onto him as your whimpers become more pathetic.
"I'm gonna cum," you cry out and Yeosang can't hold back his smile. His uses his free hand to gently play with your nipple as his thrusts increase in pace.
"Me too baby, you're doing so good," he speaks in a low soft tone before feeling hot spurts of cum flood your pussy. This alone spurs on your orgasm, your body shaking beneath Yeosang as you moan loudly. Whimpers that sound like cries follow after and Yeosang sighs heavily before wrapping his arms around you. Pulling you closer to him even though you thought it was impossible to be closer.
🌸San🌸
-low key hesitant at first
-he would treat it like normal sex, doing the foreplay you always like, talking to you the same until you start begging for him to be inside you
-as soon as he hears your first plea for him to fill you up he fucking snaps brooo
-this is one of the rare cases San would be rougher than usual
-holds your hand while he cums <3
-he wouldn't stop after both of you came, he would keep going until you explode 💀
-after he's finished he would love the sight of it, seeing your mixed cum slowly dripping down your slit would make his heart flutter
San was basically pushing you into the mattress at this point, all feeling in your legs was gone but he wasn't done, not until you saw stars. He then reaches out to your hand and holds it softly. His grasp was firm but not enough to cause discomfort or pain. You felt his cock twitch before feeling warmth envelop you from the inside out.
Even after your double ground-breaking climaxes, he didn't stop. His thrusts just as hard as ever. Your eyes widen at the feeling. You were so sensitive from your orgasm but San was still buried inside you, hitting your A-Spot every time. Your moans became gasps for air as you felt another climax approaching. This one was different somehow and before you knew it you squirted all down San's thighs, soaking the bed.
San pulls out, accepting the fact that you must be physically drained from all of these orgasms. You lunge forward and wrap your arms around him, laughing softly from the pure bliss. San can't hold back his smile as you laugh. "How was that baby?" He asked softly as he rested you back down on the bed. You lay there breathless and San takes that as a sign that it was good.
He brings his head down between your legs and gently licks up all the access cum that had dripped out during your convulsions.
🌸Mingi🌸
-oddly excited
-"Are you sure? You promise?" Turns to "fuck I've been wanting make you mine for so long"
-he would try to keep it peaceful and intimate but he wouldn't be able to hold himself back
-similar to Yeosang he would need a minute to process your warmth and tightness. Just sitting there basking in the feeling
-another hand holder
-this may sound weird but he wants to see his cum literally dripping out of you onto the floor so if you're okay with it he would encourage you to go on your feet to witness the erotic scene his pictured
"You're so perfect. So fucking perfect," Mingi hisses under his breath as he ruts into you. He abruptly grabs your hips and thrusts into you with reckless abandon, turning your pussy to mush. Your body tightens, fists clenched, jaw latched shut, eyes squinting shut, legs shaking before everything finally comes undone. Your body relaxes and with one or two deep thrusts Mingi unloads inside you.
Mouth hung in a perfect little 0 as he cums. He felt so warm, the coziest you'd ever been. Not to mention he had a lot of cum, just wave after wave filling you up. When he finally emptied he gently lifted you up with ease. He stood next to you as you looked down at your feet and he was right. The sight of his cum dripping down the inner side of your thighs and dripping out onto the floor was oddly erotic.
Mingi rubs your back softly before whispering in your ear. "All mine,"
🌸Wooyoung🌸
-genuinely nervous
-"are you sure? I mean like what if something goes wrong or what if you don't like...it?"
-he'll be hesitant at first but just do something like run your hand over the bulge in his pants and he'll instantly change his mind
-more possessive than you initially thought
-afterward, he'd use little kitten licks to clean you up, no cum can go to waste.
-wants to be as close as possible to you when he cums
-when he does cum though, he needs to watch your facial expressions. It's not a want it's a need.
You and Wooyoung had your limbs tangled up in a lustful mess. One of your legs was over his shoulder, basically wrapped around his neck, your tongues twisting around each other's, one of his hands groping you while the other held yours. You were a desperate mess for him and you were not afraid to admit it. Wooyoung notices your body tightening and tensing, a hint at your impending orgasm. He pulled back from the kiss, looking directly into your eyes.
"That's it, baby, you're doing so good," Wooyoung says before continuing to kiss all down your face to your chest. Your legs suddenly wrap around him and you grab the back of his head.
"Wooyoung!" You cry out as your orgasm crashes over you in waves. Another layer of waves is added but not your own. Wooyoungs cum filled you up in waves, his cock pulsing as he emptied out his passionate lust. Wooyoung pulls out and gently begins to lick up your arousal from between your legs. Gentle little licks. You lay there panting in a pool of pleasure.
🌸Jungho🌸
-surprisingly chill about it
-"Okay, sure. As long as you're certain,"
-he's all Mr. Cool guy until he slides inside you and feels every grain of your texture pussy hugging him
-constant words of praise and worship slip from his lips as he fucks you
-the thought of filling you up and making you his own just drives him crazy.
"You're so tight," Jongho whispers as he pounds into you. "Such a pretty pussy, all for me," he says before kissing your neck, his hips never faltering. You whimper with a nod as your hands subconsciously rise to his hair, gently gripping it to ground yourself. He peppers kisses all over your upper body waiting to feel you approaching your high and soon enough, you do.
"Jongho, I'm gonna cum," you whimper and Jongho can't hold back his smile. His thrusts become erratic and deep, never relenting. Your body arches up into his as you cry out his name in pleasure. He smirks as he thrusts one last time before emptying himself inside you. He leans back as he watches your body twitch and squirm beneath him. "So full," you whimper softly as you feel wave after wave of cum filling you up.
"That's right. So full of my cum," he grins before pulling out, watching the trail of cum drip from your slit and down his tip. "Now you're all mine,"
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disastrqueer · 2 years
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angelhound · 2 years
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Why does everyone want to take my pants off is this normal. Is it normal for all of your friends to want to fuck you genuinely. I do not think I like it
#i really do not know how i feel about everyone telling me theyve never connected to someone like they do w me#i just feel Guilty because EVERYONE says that but its not new. to me. like idk im just being nice to u and open and we r connecting with#truth#that is all it does not mean we are Destined#i got too much fuckin destiny already please#I dont want to be anyones reason to be happy is that awful#I really dont like when people r like. Everything was bad before meeting u now my life is Solved bc u make me happy#Girl make yourself happy I have to. Im doing it tf myself I cannot be your one lifeline im fucking stupid#I thought i must be feeding into people somehow accidentally before but now i know im definitely not bc i tell everyone I dont fuck and they#STILL r like. wow we r so so connected and bonded u must not mean that#I say outloud to everyones face i wont date them and still. and yet.#I have clearly and specifically defined the parameters of what i can and cannot offer how many times do i have to re say it#idk i am exploring connecting with people and im trying to have a good time in Ethical Anti Commitment#but everyone keeps somehow assuming i must feel more even tho i say what i feel exactly outloud and what i intend#bc they have strong feelings after what. a week? a day? mfs do not even know me yet i know its so fun to have a soul bond but i have had#like 20. already. please consider being for fucking real#its fun and exciting but thats IT#we still do not know eachother! consider not roleplaying like we are in love no matter how many times i say its not gonna b that way#frustrating as hell. i am way better at keeping up boundaries nowadays but not good enough at it that this isnt work#what is it about the juice i am giving off that makes everyone loose their sense of reality. its like a cartoon seduction spell they all got#spiraled eyes and heart shaped dizzy clouds spinning over their heads#jst bc i make YOU the happiest and most loved u ever felt do not mean u make me also feel that way i literally. feel exactly how i felt#before we met. I am making Myself happy and im going to Live Authentically. None of u are involved yes love and connections are great#and I love to communicate and express and recieve love. those things are great. but that is Not all there is and I am definitely not all#there is. at least i fucking hope not but i never ever have met people like me so who knows maybe i AM a unicorn and everyones one that got#away. unnatainable ass bitch#anyways i think that people do not love Me persay but love the way being with/loved by me feels#which makes me feel very :) alone if i think about it too long so iiii wont. thanks bye
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