#i just feel so incredibly lucky to love and to be loved by someone as amazing as her
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ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3
#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL#meart#original character#robot oc#ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys.#ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!!#Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people..#hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders!#shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet..#him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk#being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol#Enho inspires her!#milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot#which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!!#he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME#its EXSAUSTING.#yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely?#hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him#he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble.#hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7#enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol.#shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS#but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified.#enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways.#polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle.#anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS#theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol
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one of the prev posts I was like oh cql? on the url and they WERE cql...but their top tag was...bad....but I don't even have the energy to refute their nonsensical arguments for it because like that's not what shipping really is about but also THEY REALLY THINK JC IS *THE ONE* TO MAKE WWX HAPPY AND LWJ IS BORING???? incest aside like jc makes wwx MISERABLE jfc canonically yeah lwj does make wwx happy and jc is left miserable and alone due to the consequenves of his actions including actively tormenting and mocking and humiliating and trying to kill wwx. go die mad about it 😭
#like 'wow their love for each other is so crazy and all-consuming its insane to thibk some boring lan cultivator could do that for him'#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!!! their relationship is so unhealthy and marred by debt and obligations in the FIRST PLACE#and even without that yeah there's love there but they also just don't see eye to eye on so many things and jc actively impedes#wwx in things he wants or believes in and also treats him like shit like this is fully a sector of the fanbase who are just making things u#in their own head to enjoy#which would be mildly annoying if not for the fact that it's 1. INCEST#and 2. between two characters with THAT kind of history. wwx needs someone he can like...trust..#okay I guess I donhave the energy. I'm less angry at them calling lwj boring. yeah he is kind of boring but that's fine#wwx canonically doesn't think so and canonically is very happy w him#these bitches think his arguably abusive extremely immature and volatile pseudo-brother who tortured and tried to kill him is BETTER FOR HI#?????? brother jc is not better for ANYONE. there's loving someone and there's wanting to be around them and shit. like there's so much#history there it's lucky if they can even be friends again#like 🤢🤢🤢 what the fuck are you on. the narrative was pretty clear. media comprehension -100000#I don't even think this person is unintelligent or anything they just have incredibly bad and nonsensical taste#or at least used to. idk how old those posts were I fully admit#wwx with anyone besides lwj is a hard sell but jc is beyond insane for multiple reasons#even if you 'don't see them as brothers' which is an interpretation I guess they still have a horrible relationship#and jc makes wwx feel terrible bc he has a bad personality and blames wwx for all the most painful things that happened to him and he lashe#out constantly. like he canonically makes wwx miserable and forces him to prioritize jcs own emotional and physical needs. by the end he's#a little better. but he's also not the moral beacon wwx gravitates towards. he's pragmatic and callous#wwx NEEDS someone he can trust someone who shares his principles someone who will take care of him and not demand him to crush inconvenient#parts of himself and play nice. to cater to someone else's feelings#like...structurally they're so well matched this post was insane I hate c/x shippers so much 😭#cor.txt
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woe characters inspired by some of my cats be upon ye. info on them in my tags lol
#dialtown oc#jack dlc#twerpys head is a sledgehammer bc the cat theyre based on was born in a wall lmao#he works at the petstore with outis bc i got said cat frm the local petstore#lilys head is a fluffy couch pillow thing and she works at an animal shelter bc thats where i got the cat shes based on#twerpy is genderfluid bc we make jokes that my cat twerpy is genderfluid a lot#also i feel like shed be aroace if she were a person. its just the vibes yk#lily isnt labeled as anything shes just vibin#the 2 are part of a big sorta found family type shit that consists of chars based on my other 3 cats i just didnt feel like drawin more rn#twerpy is really mean and stuck up but is secretly super sweet it just takes them a long time to warm up enough to someone n show it#shes also secretly incredible at like. comforting people and helping them out. but again only shows it for people hes warmed up enough to#lily is super confident and full of herself and spoiled. she thinks shes super fuckin smart but she is very much Not /lh#she loves attention though and gets her feelings hurt super easy#also shes Huge on physical affection. she loves giving people hugs and holding hands and shit#like. shell be like oh im so fuckin hot and cool literally no ones on my level and of ur like eh idk that fit isnt really that good on u#she will start Crying. and get mad that youre being mean to her for no reason while sobbing#and probably will hug onto you while doing it#twerpy also gives really good hugs but they Hate being touched. so if it willingly touches you then youre incredibly lucky special#also lily loves sitting in peoples laps#if youre friends with her she is far more likely to sit on your lap instead of any chair in the room nd thats just smth youll have 2 deal w#dlc wiki
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oh man, owning a body is way scarier than being in one while not owning it is
#wow it is so inconvenient to have a concept of autonomy that isn’t restricted#like it is better yes I get it but that doesn’t mean it isn’t an adjustment#I’m panicking less drastically with more time in between#but it’s still so hard to retain a grasp on the fullness of This Is Totally Only Your Body You Have The Ultimate Control Over It#because there’s just SO MUCH MORE that comes along WITH that and I have very little#processing power to sore as is#*spare#I don’t even know what a body is optimally supposed to be like how am I supposed to know how to make my way over to that?#and that’s all I have to say about that#shh katie#trauma recovery#and I just like. get to make every ultimate decision about it forever. like how close people can get or whether to do an activity or what#clothes I get to choose#and I get to say no to things and I get to defend myself if I want and I get to do fun scary new things in it if I want etc etc#and I love getting all these things! I love that it’s ‘I get’#but most of the time what I actually feel is ‘I HAVE’#I HAVE to decide each moment if I want someone to touch me I HAVE to decide if something feels good or not I HAVE to defend myself if I need#to be defended I HAVE to choose clothes with JUST me making my decisions I HAVE to change my body to be healthier I HAVE to etc etc#but then I feel ashamed and unworthy because I feel like I’m doing something wrong by acting or appearing ungrateful while#having such lucky amazing incredible way-more-than-I-could-have-imagined change in the past year#and so much to be grateful for beyond words#anyway there’s no lesson here it’s just a post it note saying where I’m at#I’ll move on from this to something else in a new stage as time passes#it’s chill#cult survivor#add to journal
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Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..
I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.
I was texting my sister today about it and she said
“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”
I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences
#I relate to all of this so much#and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma#I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine#it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian#honestly at this point I have no clue what i am#even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma#but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents#growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold#cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them#but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there#their perfect angel fell from heaven#and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything#it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith#it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally#the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church#when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with#wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was#YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away#and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life#but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it#which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to#^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop#sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma#yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse#sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past#please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best#it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family#I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help
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heya i just wanted to tell you how genuinely important your arospec scarian thing is to me
the line "He's not sure what he wants, what's expected of him here" has just helped me solve a tiny crisis i've been having for the past month+ and on one hand i can't believe a fic about blockmen kissing is helping me figure this out but on the other hand im thinking of course it was your writing that helped me realize what is happening in my little feelings hole
anyway, just wanted to say thank you for how real and beautiful your writing is
sincerely, an aro/ace person who's feeling a little more okay about their crisis because you're an awesome human
HEY ANON,,,,, THIS IS SO SWEET WTF..... holy shit im literally speechless. I dont even remotely know what to say to such a genuine and heartfelt message, except that i am so, so happy ive managed to help you like this with my writing
Writing the arospec stuff was really interesting for me, personally, because thats an aspect of myself ive never really... set out much space to think about??? Ive known for a while that im probably demiromantic, considering how close i have to be with people before i can even begin to catch feelings, but ive never truly and consciously explored that within my writing before until now. And the fact that finally doing so has helped someone with a personal crisis really makes me so teary-eyed like hello...... oh my gods.
Thank you for taking the time to tell me this, and im so glad ive managed to help out despite being a virtual stranger. That novelty is never gonna wear off for me. I hope you're having a good day, anon❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ take care of yourself!! :]
#shouting speaks#asks#compliments#LITERALLY ABT TO CRY /POS THIS IS SO SWEET AND KIND AND IM JUST AUAUGHHH#i am very much a Helper™ in that i try very hard to support everyone in my life in any way i can#so like. man. knowing im Helping strangers somehow with my writing thats like. everything to me#cannot stress enough just HOW much it means to me#also like... man its weird isnt it#bc i DO feel romantic attraction but its just SO different from how everyone else says they experience it#for me its this conscious and informed choice#i love all the people in my life dearly and very fiercely but when i go into a romantic relationship#its always with an element of ''well im curious lets see what happens'' and choosing to try it out with someone i like#i find a certain comfort in the closeness and intimacy but i find EQUAL comfort in the closeness and intimacy of my platonic relationships#its real telling i think that i have a partner of going on.... 4 years now???? and two platonic relationships in the same household#that have been going on for even longer#smth smth the comfort of finding people you want to spend the rest of your life with regardless of romantic or platonic feelings#smth smth found family. im incredibly lucky to have made this one#anyway. wjfnejfnjd explodes#txt
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it’s amazing how being loved for exactly who you are can drastically change how you view yourself
#idk bc ever since i started dating my girlfriend i have started seeing myself in a different light? like i feel like i matter#im starting to make changes for the better and take care of myself#and im beginning to appreciate things about myself that i used to hate because it’s things that she loves/likes about me#like im actually discovering in real time that ‘to be loved is to be changed’ is a real thing#i just feel so incredibly lucky to love and to be loved by someone as amazing as her#ive told caro this a couple times in a couple different ways but i just feel like it bears repeating#bc i am so in love and i can only hope that i make her feel as loved as what i do by her#caro <3
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Deuteronomy giving unsolicited, out-of-the-blue, but startlingly accurate or effective parenting advice when speaking with other cats after carefully observing their new or troublesome litters, but the kicker is they were like five years old at most at the time, and the adults would laugh and say he didn't know the first thing about raising kittens. And they would frown and cross their arms and say: "Yes I do. I have lots of kittens", and the adults would figure it was child imagination play and respond: "*Do* you really? And what are their names?" thinking they're just going along with it and he'll make something up, but then Dee just starts talking in detail about kittens his past lives had - and some that were not his lives but the lives of others - and all of their names, and what they looked like when they were just born, and various issues they had, and then just trail off and mutter a quiet "I miss them", before snapping right back out of it and going back to play like nothing happened.
He does this a lot - the cats who are used to it are used to it - that's just Deuteronomy - but the cats who are *not*, now that's incredibly unsettling.
When Jemima started doing that same thing decades later a lot of stuff suddenly started falling into place as to where most of Deuteronomy went genetics wise.
#deuteronomy and jemima are on that same: i know things someone my age should not know#i know what it feels like to starve to death i know what falling in love is like i know traditions that haven't been practiced#in hundreds of years but they remember being part of festivities#i know how to sail on a boat i was alive during war time#i have been a mother and a father and a grandparent and none at all#etc etc etc#and it's all weighted and incredibly poignant stuff and their eyes will cloud over as if they're still there#but then they're both just so weird at the same time it's hard to know how to react to what they say and do#and most cats have distant or glimpsed memories of their past lives if they were lucky to have them#but dee and jemi are just like *incredible clear detail sometimes i feel like i still am them* level memory#Old Deuteronomy#Jemima#my headcanons#and i'm talking like he is having memories of being these kittens' mother himself
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👋 2022
#I won’t go into detail about real life except that it was. well. a Trip#learned some things went through things. the year of baby steps I guess#BUT I wanna write some thoughts about my 2022 tumblr experience down#it was… also quite a Trip#positive first: learned to stay off this site when necessary! very important mental-health wise#my most used tag this year was my track tag! shoutout to everyone who’s been using it#you bring me much joy by sharing your creations with me. I appreciate it 🤍#another shoutout to all the incredibly lovely people who’ve come to my inbox this year#I’ve been very lucky in that regard. 98% of my anons have been the kindest sweetest most eloquent people#and I’m happy to have been able to have super interesting thoughtful and respectful discussions from time to time#okay what else. oh HIGHLIGHT of my year here – my birthday ADFFGHJ#I felt so so so spoiled and couldn’t (still can’t) believe the amount of spectacular gif(t)s I got. made me feel stupidly happy oh my god#I learned a lot of new skills and techniques for gfx making. kept experimenting with different styles which has been fun!#gif making has turned more into a relaxing activity than something that makes me feel pressured and anxious#I dialed it down a bit compared to last year and I think that was a good decision as well#as for not so positive things. well.#of course there are the usual/ general ‘complaints’ like lack in interaction and the like#got my first proper anon hate in November. that was something#HUGE lesson I learned this year: just because someone states in their bio that they’re adults doesn’t mean they act like ones <3#people can be very childish ruthless and simply not worth one’s effort#and a last thing that fits quite well to that: 9 out of 10 people do not care about you. not about your time and effort you put in content#not about whether you’re online or not. not about how you might feel when they say and do certain things#I think I need to learn how to embrace this kind of insignificance. be more audacious. find validation within myself#okay I’ll stop now#I wanna say thank you to all the lovely people who made this year on tumblr more enjoyable and who truly brighten the place up for me#I love you lots and wish you all the best for 2023#it’s gonna be a hard year for me with lots of challenges and changes#and it’s nice to have this little space here where you can escape to from time to time#mwah. smooches to all of you. happy new year <3
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crying screaming throwing up etc etc etc
#milo.txt#em#made me TWO!!! playlists#we like to express our love for each other through playlists which is actually so cute of us#but they made me a playlist themed around i love you ! so some songs i've heard and some new ones#which is always a treat!!#they also made me a playlist themed around slow dancing in the kitchen#and they included songs ive sent them and offhandedly mentioned how i wanna dance w someone in the kitchen to them#god . i know it sounds like a small thing and a silly thing for me to be crying about but . i just#its so fucking crazy to me they listen? like of COURSE they listen theyre a god damn sweetheart and they know me sometimes better#than i know myself#as someone who kinda just vibed a lot alone and got used to solitude its crazy to me ill mention something once and they'll remember it#like i made a joke that if they wanted to get me anything for my birthday they should get me mothman#and guess what#they GOT ME A MOTHMAN PLUSHIE AND ITS THE CUTEST THING EVER (after them of course)#and its just like . oh my god? you not only listen to what i say but you remember? and you genuinely know who i am?#like . what the fuck bro that's crazy#yall know that tweet thats like you get kidnapped and theyll return you if you can speak about something for 30 minutes#yeah i could speak about em and how much i love them for like actual hours .#i just feel so incredibly lucky to be known and loved by them yknow? its . yeah . its good#it hurts sometimes because they're far away from me and sometimes my heart gets so excited i just. need to squeeze them and theyre not here#BUT as ive said before i would do this over and over and over and over and over just to say hello to them once more#EEP we're going to be together in like 3ish weeks HOLY FUCK#this reminded me to buy my concert outfit eugh im gonna look soooo cute actually#ANYWAY#my heart is so full and i love them an incredible amount <3#UPDATE ON THIS: i changed my blog title to 'oh loverboy' yesterday? and theres A SONG CALLED LOVERBOY ON THE PLAYLIST THEY SENT ME#OH HHHHH MY GOD MY FUCKING H E A R T#we're really on our own wavelength huh
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#i love the salon im working at rn so much dont get me wrong#i feel so incredibly lucky working there for many reasons#and im going to preface this with im on my period and feeling off anyways#so anyways im interning for like 2 years at this salon before i get on the floor so theyre training me rn to be able to intern for the#bigger stylists. so the girl whos been training me went on vacation and she put me with someone i havent worked with before#and this girl was really nice and i liked her other than some of my minor mishaps that lowkey sent me over the edge but thats not the point#anyways i worked for her for 6 hours until she left and i got to go home and we get done and i start to leave and she says something along#the lines of im great and doing great but i need to work on keeping time and basically interrupting stylists to let them know a client is#there. and she told me i just need to be more confident in myself. which is nice and it was a good and valid critique buy ooooo bitch. oooo#i held it together long enough until i got in the car and started telling my bf about it and i cracked in the middle of speaking and just#bawled my fucking eyes out. idk if its bc it was the most direct someone has been with me since ive only been there for 2 weeks or what but#it sent me over the edge so hard i ended up getting home and eating my lunch and sleeping for 4 hours LMFAO#it just kills me that she wasnt even mean but she said it in front of other interns like thats not deeply embarrassinh#*embarrassing anyways fucking christians BFBFNNCHDKEJEUSKS i work for her again thursday so hopefully she doesnt make me feel dead inside#by the end of my shift again ): it just was nooooot a good day for me#self
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I love my sister more than anything in the world
#she will always be my number one#words can't suffice a percent of how much i love her. only our lives mutually lived can testify#u just need to feel it. anyone who has witnessed me and kaily together for even a short amount of time can tell#i would do anything for her. kills me that i can't protect her from all pain and bad things in the world#i love her more than anything and i genuinely think so highly of her#she has no bad bone in her body. she's incredibly intelligent and thoughtful and considerate of others#she cares i mean genuinely cares about the wellbeing of people she knows and people she doesn't#she always means well#she's very funny and charming to be around#i don't just love her but objectively i think everyone should love her#and i'm lucky to be her sister. not everyone gets blessed w as amazing a sister as i have#not everyone gets along w their siblings and i find that an awful shame. my siblings are my best friends in the world#but especially my sister. and that is such a well-known fact that nobody bothers to compare#to be born as her twin would be the greatest blessing one could have over the course of ten lifetimes#she is my lifelong best friend and favorite person and no one will ever compare to her in my book#again im just very lucky. i dont think i particularly deserve her. altho i think everyone deserves someone they can be as close to#as i am to her. and it's an especial benefit that i was born with her so i'll get to know her all my life#as aly and aj once said 'we're sisters and we met at home' :)#tales from diana#i love her :(
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WOW congrats on your wedding! When are you getting married? And if you have advice to give how do I feel comfortable in a long term relationship as a depressed and anxious gay lol my biggest fear is that my girlfriend will cheat on me or get bored and I don’t know how to overcome that
thank u 🤍🥹 we are getting married this summer :)
i don’t think i have any helpful advice tbh i am way too trusting and have always worn my heart on my sleeve so i honestly can’t relate to feeling anxious or fearing that my partner will cheat on me…but because you have already identified these patterns in yourself that means you can work on them and maybe heal your inner child/attachment issues? and like…just let yourself be loved and stop questioning why?
#im sorry haha idk what else to say really…#i make most decisions this way: accepting life is short and doing whatever is in my power to grab whatever love comes my way#and have as much fun as i can / do as much as i can / try as much as i can#while i still can#in the end you are the only one holding yourself back and depriving yourself of comfort & pleasure#idk i know that way of thinking doesn’t just make everything better and doesn’t just make your fears go away rofl#just like. think about the possibility of everything going right instead of thinking abt what could go wrong#wake up every day and think about that. wake up every day and tell yourself you are deserving of love and not everyone is out to hurt you#neural pathways babe - you gotta rewrite the script here#positive thinking / feeling / acting#it might sound like bullshit but that’s the only thing that’s worked for me. for what it’s worth#anyway now im done i wish i had something more helpful for you!!!#i am also just incredibly lucky to have found someone like ayesha who has always seen all my flaws and shortcomings and has loved me anyway#and has loved all the parts of me without hesitation. and has been so patient.#it was lucky. im lucky!!!#anonymous#me: idk what to say#me: keeps talking#classic#not ‘loved me anyway’ but she has just loved ME for everything i am/am not#and i hope you find that too
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ok maybe tape binding isnt a great idea for me. sigh
#thats on me i really shouldve researched it more before spending money on it. ill try to do that next time#a bit disappointing tho ngl#if i cant take it off for several days and i have to do this that and the other just to make sure it doesnt rip my skin off. not great#trying to explain why i have oil in the shower (to remove the tape) just isnt gonna work in my house. someone will see and ask questions#maybe ill give it a shot in the fall when i can at least wear a hoodie so nobody asks why im not wearing a bra#levi.txt#also just. damn. i was really hoping i would be able to do smth abt it#the only big kind of dysphoria i get is my chest and i cant do anything abt it really#ive only been able to bind until now by wearing underclothes that are too small for me and that irritates my skin if its day to day#and i cant get a binder bc 1. poor 2. my mom can see my purchases anyway bc of how my bank acct is set up#like yeah i guess theoretically i could look into free programs or whatever locally but. idk i feel like theyre not for me#there has to be someone who really cant afford one and has so much worse dysphoria who really deserves that resource#and id hate to feel like i was taking that from them when i can manage 90% of the time just fine#like. i dont Need it. on the worst days ill feel gross and then the day afterwards im p much back to normal! its not even consistent#i am incredibly lucky i live in a family who love me and that i have minimal non life changing dysphoria to begin with#it would just. be nice#at least to see if it works
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It bother me so much that people misunderstand sayaka miki's descent into madness in madoka magica. She doesnt become a witch "just because of a boy." Sayaka is a character who ties all her self worth into being in service of others. We can see this right from the start with her idolization of mami and everything that she was. She saw mami as this "perfect hero" even though mami i would say is mentally the weakest of the holy quintet. In the timelines where mami finds out about the incubator's true goals she always immediately breaks and goes crazy, trying to kill the other girls in her own twisted way of trying to "save them". Instead of seeing the fragile person that mami was, sayaka instead sort of treats her as a martyr, a goal to achieve. We continue on to sayaka's magical girl wish. Instead of wishing for something for herself, she instead sells her soul for the sake of kyousuke. Then when he starts dating hitomi she spirals not because she's sad about the rejection but because she feels replaced in his life, that he doesn't need or want her around anymore. Then she throws herself into her magical girl work not seeing that she's harming herself because she justifies it with "well im saving people that means what im doing is a good thing." She doesn't see that she's becoming more sloppy, more ruthless until its too late. It's only in the end when she turns into a witch that her story gets resolved.
Sayaka Miki is an incredibly sad character to me. While her actions have the illusion of being selfless and "for the greater good" she is actually incredibly selfishly motivated. Everything she does is in service of wanting praise and admiration from the people she cares about. If she helps kyousuke he'll appreciate her and love her, if she becomes a hero she'll receive praise and admiration for being a good person. This is why it is important that of all people it was kyoko that fought sayaka in the end. To homura, sayaka is someone to be saved. To mami, sayaka is her sweet apprentice/younger sister figure. To madoka, sayaka is her energetic and happy go lucky friend. Kyoko is the only one who from the start called sayaka out on her bullshit, seeing straight through her. And at the end, kyoko is the one who truly accepts sayaka. Sayaka as the witch Oktavia von Seckendorff is stated multiple times in official material to be "looking for love." In the end it it kyoko who gives her that love. Even when sayaka has lost her humanity it is kyoko who accepts her for the entirety of who sayaka is with all of her selfishness and desires. She is the one who sees what sayaka has become and stays together with her till both of their ends. Kyoko choosing to die with sayaka is her saying "I'm here for you, i know all of you, and I will love you regardless."
#pmmm#puella magi madoka magica#sayaka miki#kyoko sakura#im just rambling man#cant wait for the 4th movie#i made this to procrastinate on my finals
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meet the piastris
oscar piastri x reader
warnings - pregnancy, children (is this a warning idk maybe), this is disgustingly fluffy, insinuation of smut, mention of death (as a joke), i think that's it xoxo
face claim - girls on pinterest
oscarpiastri
liked by y/n.l/n, mclaren and 378,728 others
tagged: y/n.l/n
oscarpiastri: so excited to see what the future holds for our family and i'm incredibly lucky to share this with the love of my life
comments
y/n.l/n: how could you do this to me
oscarpiastri: ?
y/n.l/n: this is so sweet but now i'm crying and covered in snot
y/n.l/n: i love you (we have run out of tissues)
oscarpiastri: i love you too (i'll buy them on my way back home and some hot chocolate)
user1: i need someone that is as down bad for me as oscar is for y/n
user2: ikr man is whipped
oscarpiastri: have you seen her shes gorgeous?!?
user3: OSCAR JACK PIASTRI THE LAST PICTURE!!!
user4: the gasp i gusped
landonorris: my honest reaction 😋🥰😍
y/n.l/n: 🤔 please stop thirsting over my husband
landonorris: i'm so sorry queen it won't happen again 😔🙏
user5: what just happened
landonorris: she's scary pregnant ☹️
mclaren: we can't wait to meet the baby papayas! (zac does need to have a chat with you about what is appropriate to post on social media)
oscarpiastri: why?
user6: unbothered king
user7: served
mclaren: i give up
landonorris: warming up for my uncle duties
oscarpiastri: who told you, you can be their uncle?
landonorris: 😨😰😫🤢🤮😵
y/n.l/n: wait i feel bad
y/n.l/n: you can be their uncle ig 🙄
landonorris: yes! i'm going to buy them go karts
user8: y/n are you sure this is wise?
y/n.l/n: his emotional vulnerability got to me (also please don't buy my babies go karts)
logansargeant: i'll be their favorite uncle though right?
y/n.l/n: ofc 🩷
oscarpiastri: oh definitely
user9: uncle logiebear!!
landonorris: uncle lan*
logansargeant: you guys are going to be the best parents, i can't wait to meet the little ones
oscarpiastri: no please i've just stocked up on tissues
y/n.l/n: THANK YOU THIS IS SO SWEET I'M SOBBING I BET THEY CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU TOO
user10: i can't wait for dad oscar content
y/n.l/n: neither can i
user11: he's going to look so hot
y/n.l/n: HEY! he's mine
oscarpiastri: what she said!
user12: i love them
yourbestfriend: i hope they take after y/n looks wise xx
oscarpiastri: me too
y/n.l/n: they better do i've been the one carrying them around for nine months
y/n.l/n: but also osc is hella cute so its a win win
yourbestfriend: you two are disgustingly cute
y/n.l/n
liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend and 604,921 others
y/n.l/n: welcome to the world freya and ruby piastri you are already so loved
comments
user13: they are adorable
oscarpiastri: the most adorable ever actually
y/n.l/n: agreed
landonorris: wait they are so tiny are they meant to be that small?
oscarpiastri: mate.. they are babies but are you meant to be that small?
landonorris: 😔
user14: gagged
danielricciardo: congrats
liked by y/n.l/n and oscarpiastri
lilymhe: their names are so cute
lilymhe: and so are they
y/n.l/n: thank you bby
user15: i have such bad baby fever and you are not helping
y/n.l/n: you may want to avert your eyes because they are literally going to be my entire feed from now on soz
user16: i don't blame you queen they are too precious
liked by y/n.l/n and oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri: we make cute babies
y/n.l/n: we really do
oscarpiastri: we should have some more
user17: sir it has been 2 days
liked by y/n.l/n
mclaren: our future driver lineup
liked by oscarpiastri
y/n.l/n: oscar! unlike this i don't think my heart could take watching them race
lewishamilton: congratulations guys
liked by y/n.l/n and oscarpiastri
landonorris: have you got the clothes i sent them yet?
y/n.l/n: yes thank you it was so... thoughtful of you to buy them shirts with your face on
landonorris: they have to know who their favorite uncle is
oscarpiastri: and the best way to do this was through a shirt?
landonorris: correct
yourbestfriend: sending mine now
logansargeant: me too
user18: the whole grid is all so excited for them!!
user19: it's so sweet
oscarpiastri: i think they just want to see who will be the favorite
yourbestfriend: i’m going to spoil them so much
y/n.l/n: you already have
yourbestfriend: well i'm gonna spoil them even more
charles_leclerc: future ferrari fans
maxverstappen1: future redbull fans*
georgerussell63: future mercedes fans**
oscarpiastri: no 🧡
liked by mclaren
logansargeant: can't wait to meet them!!
y/n.l/n: they can't wait to meet you either!!
user20: they can't talk
y/n.l/n: a mother knows x
mclaren posted a story
liked by y/n.l/n, oscarpiastri and 24,218 others
caption- we send our congratulations to oscar and y/n as they welcome freya and ruby piastri to their family and as we welcome them to the papaya family
replies
y/n.l/n: papaya girls! 🧡
mclaren: the mclaren merch is on the way
y/n.l/n: only if it's 81 merch
user21: freya and ruby mclaren takeover when?
user22: looking forward the dad oscar content
y/n.l/n posted two stories
liked by mclaren, yourbestfriend and 14,801 others
caption- race day !!
replies
user23: manifesting an oscar win 🏆
y/n.l/n: vroom vroom
yourbestfriend: i'm coming over again (to see the girls)
y/n.l/n: aww i've missed you (so have the girls)
francisca.cgomes: missing you in the paddock
y/n.l/n: miss you too
liked by mclaren, lilymhe and 23,014 others
caption- i don't think the girls are as invested as me yet 🤔
replies
yourbestfriend: i'm speeding to get there they are so cute
y/n.l/n: omg be safe please
user24: i wish i was freya or ruby
mclaren: living their best life
oscarpiastri
liked by y/n.l/n, yourbestfriend and 418,329 others
tagged: y/n.l/n
oscarpiastri: babies day out
comments
user25: they are 6 months old and are literally living my dream life
liked by oscarpiastri and y/n.l/n
user26: don't mind me i'm just going to find a cliff to jump off x
y/n.l/n: the best type of days
oscarpiastri: especially with you
user27: he's so disgustingly in love
user28: y/n could make anyone act like that
user29: osc is his girl's personal photographer
user30: we love him for that though
user31: we need our y/n, ruby and freya content
yourbestfriend: all three of my girls are looking adorable 🥰
oscarpiastri: my girls
yourbestfriend: know your place x
liked by y/n.l/n
oscarpiastri: Y/N!?
landonorris: when are you letting me babysit 😠😠
oscarpiastri: ...soon
landonorris: YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR 2 MONTHS
landonorris: its never going to happen is it
user32: poor lando
lilymhe: hot mama 😘
y/n.l/n: stop i'm blushing and giggling rn
oscarpiastri: damn everyone is trying to steal my girl today 😔
user33: she is hot tho
liked by oscarpiastri
y/n.l/n
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 438,623 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
y/n.l/n: the dad oscar content you have all been waiting for xx
comments
y/n.l/n: my husband is so so hot 🥵🥵🥵
user34: no need to rub it in
user35: how does it feel to live my dream
y/n.l/n: it feels amazing 😘
user36: thank you y/n we all say in unison
user37: thank you y/n
user38: thank you y/n
landonorris: thank you y/n
y/n.l/n: get out of here 🤨
user39: never beating the twinkclaren accusations
user40: foaming at the mouth
user41: oscar with his babies i'm going to combust
oscarpiastri: i'm putting the second picture in my wallet
y/n.l/n: you're so cute i'm sobbing 🩷
user42: he's so girl dad
liked by y/n.l/n
user43: he's so daddy
y/n.l/n: well yes actually
oscarpiastri: oh-
landonorris: my eyes!!
oscarpiastri
liked by yourbestfriend, mclaren and 346,717 others
tagged: y/n.l/n
oscarpiastri: date night (thank you to logan for looking after the girls)
comments
user44: waiting patiently for lando's breakdown
y/n.l/n: my date is so fit 😍😍
liked by oscarpiastri
landonorris: WHAT
landonorris: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
landonorris: do you want me to cry
y/n.l/n: we texted you...
oscarpiastri: yeah we wanted 2 people to look after them since it was the first time leaving them without family
landonorris: what!?!??
user45: i can feel his devastation through the screen
georgerussell63: he's been bitching about this for so long and he didn't see the message 😂😂
landonorris: leave me alone 🖕
user46: my favs
logansargeant: the girls had so much fun with their favorite uncle
landonorris: 😢😢
carmenmmundt: you better have bought her the flowers
alexandrasaintmleux: you better have treated her like a princess
oscarpiastri: ofc only the best for my girl
oscarpiastri posted a story
liked by y/n.l/n, mclaren and 34,521 others
caption: one year of loving you two 🧡
replies
user47: i think i can finally tell who is who
user48: wait no
y/n.l/n: our babies are growing up
oscarpiastri: maybe we should have another then
y/n.l/n: when the girls turn 2 we can talk about it
oscarpiastri: i guess we will just have to practice until then
y/n.l/n: when do you get home?🤭
y/n.l/n
liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and 567,308 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
y/n.l/n: happy 1st birthday to my babies STOP GROWING THEY ARE GETTING SO BIG I CAN'T HANDLE THIS 😫😫
comments
user49: i'm so invested in the piastri twins i'm crying at their birthday post 🥲🥲
user50: we are witnessing piastri world domination 💪
yourbestfriend: where has the time gone
y/n.l/n: i swear they were born last week
oscarpiastri: they are growing up so fast 🩷
y/n.l/n: i've been crying about this all week
user51: she is all of us
user52: i just know their birthday party was banging
landonorris: the cake was amazing
mclaren: are ruby and freya enjoying their presents?
y/n.l/n: they love them!! thank you mclaren 🧡
a/n - thank you for reading i hope you enjoyed and as always any feedback is apppreciated <3
#f1#formula 1#oscar piastri#op81#f1 x y/n#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#oscar piastri x y/n#🏎️
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