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I promise I searched your blog, but how do you (specifically) zero draft? The post that showed up in a search of your blog was like, bullet point writing whatever is in your head for the.wip, which I think is v cool and would help me finish lofm! So I'm curious how you do it!
Oh yes, okay! I don't think I've actually explained it anywhere, but I love talking about this.
what is a zero draft?
The great thing about a zero draft is that you can pretty much make it whatever you need it to be. For me, I was having a hard time with the middle of my story. I've started and stopped this wip so many times, always getting hung up at the same part as I approach the middle. I've always had a very clear picture of the beginning and the end, but never how to get all the way through from point A to point B. My original outline had things in brackets like [character growth] and [plot stuff], but what does that mean!?
My goal was to get all the way through. So I opened a blank document, started at the beginning, and literally rambled and talked my way through the entire story. I didn't write real prose. It was all stream of consciousness. It was me describing what happens in the story as if I was telling it to a friend. The zero draft was my rubber duck. This was my brainstorming document. I used common vernacular and slang and abbreviations. There are bullet points, numbered lists, sidebars where I rambled about a scene I completely forgot to mention in a previous section. Lots of comments about things I need to include in the next draft. Literally anything and everything I thought of went into the zero draft.
A zero draft can be as long or short as you need it to be. Mine ended up being around 40k words. But I've seen other people say a zero draft is 10k to 20k words. It's really up to you! And when you feel like you've covered enough of the story to move on to the next draft.
And you don't have to go about a zero draft the way I did! Recently, an author I love and follow on instagram (Casey McQuiston) shared in their stories that when they were writing their most recent book, they zero drafted each chapter before they wrote it out. Casey said that because of this, it was first time they didn't have major edits and rewrites afterwards. So if you find yourself needing a little more structure and sense of where you're going, I think a zero draft could be super helpful!
Of course you don't have to have a zero draft, and if you've got a good sense of the plot and character arcs, you might not need one. But it can be a great way to brainstorm and figure out those things if you need to!
#zero draft#zero drafting#writeblr#writing tips#answered#kaatiba#i hope this makes sense and helps!!#am i psyching myself out about having to write real words now? yes#but i'm very excited about my wip again though#so that's helpful too
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afrofuturismđŞ
â one ~ solange hair by darknightt (tsr warning) â two ~ loretta hair by @simtric â three ~ bahati braids by @sheabuttyr â four ~ isonoe hair by octetsica â five ~ binah braids by @sheabuttyr â six ~ cornrows & curls hair by @leeleesims1 â seven ~ indie hair by @sashima â eight ~ loc petals by @shespeakssimlish â nine ~ mnemosyne hair by octetsica â
mini dedication essay to black simmers and ts4 creators below! pls read if you have the chance! <3
this edit is a small homage to afrofuturism and the various unique black hairstyles (and especially the black creators of most of these hairs) that i have downloaded and admired over the years! some of these are old and some of these are new.
to me, afrofuturism means constantly honoring/reclaiming/challenging the past while constantly creating/dreaming of a better society/world/future. a society/world/future that embraces and empowers all of our differences, ingenuity, aspirations, and unique lived/cultural experiences. a society/world/future that does not limit us through the various systems of marginalization and oppression (racism, homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, sexism, xenophobia, ableism, classism, colorism, etc.) that often affects how we, as black people, live today.
blackness is so diverse and intricate yet it's always been a struggle to find my culture within a game that's known for being so limiting, bland, and extremely eurocentric when it comes to hairstyles, clothing, food traditions/events, etc. black simmers have always had to figure out how to make this game more inclusive and make it resemble either more like how our ancestors lived, how our current lives are, or how we would want our lives (and even our children's lives) to look like in the future no matter how dystopian the real world look and feel now. fortunately, these hairs and their uniqueness bring a huge sense of culture and style to this game. they have always inspired me and made me feel extremely proud to a part of the lovely african diaspora (and the ever-growing black simmer community).
in a way, being a black simmer and cc creator usually means that we are often digitally creating our own worlds as afrofuturists to varying degrees (whether we know it or not) every time we open our game, make our sims, make houses, and/or make black cultural cc. also, now i know that cc making is not easy to do and is extremely time-consuming so this post is also just me giving all black cc creators especially those who create for free their well-deserved flowers! here are some other black cc creators who created cc that have greatly impacted my game since i first started playing sims 4: @/leeleesims1 @/simtric @/hi-land @/yuyulie @/sims4bradshaw @/ebonixsims @/xmiramira @/sheabuttyr @/qwertysims @/oplerims @/sleepingsims @/shespeakssimlish and so many more im forgetting probably (im too shy rn to tag ppl but i greatly appreciate yâall fr i hope yâall telepathically get this message somehow đ).
last but not least, i am hoping that this inspires somebody to keep creating or start creating regardless of what they think their skill level is! somebody will absolutely fall in love with your work and/or your art/work will 100% change someone's game forever <333
#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#black simblr#black simmer#ts4 edit#đŞ#đŞ black hair#soleil jones#xolani souza de oliveira#angela evans#leona morrison#chantelle diang#ayesha solomon#nylah rivers#nykhor chantelle diang#dove adeyemi#something to end black history month with!#i really hope my essay make sense đđđ#i planned to this last year but hated the pictures i took so i scraped it and redid it#i couldnât thank enough to all the black cc creators before me and hope to help/inspire new black cc creators đđž#this is also kinda the updated version of my for the culture postâŚi made sure to include some familiar (but updated) faces đâđžđđ
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been thinking about pok a lot again and that moment when riz told him sklonda was dating gorthalax (in some capacity or another) and pok just went quiet for a bit before he wished her well and like. he's riz's father to such a degree that it hurts. he died young, got to paradise and then said, ok time to go back to work, chop chop. and he does take breaks to listen to riz at his grave and he works in a beautiful meadow when he's not down in hell and -literally speaking- he does sit down but metaphorically he keeps on going and going.
and i'm just imagining that- obviously he knows that he's dead, right? but the human* brain is weird in that way where you'll know things, and you might even sit with them and think you've processed them, but then something will hit you out of left field and you'll realize there are so many aspects of the situation you hadn't internalized yet, and i think that one of those aspects for pok was sklonda, or rather all the dimensions in which her life branched off after he died. because with riz he'd always been painfully aware that his kid was growing up and changing, but with sklonda it's a bit more complicated, it's a bit easier to process the grief of being apart from her, purely on an unconscious level, as being away for work. he's working, she's working, she probably tells him about her work and about riz and riz includes his mom in his stories and it's like, oh this is horribly painful, that i can't be there, but in a way he and sklonda share a lot of what they used to when he was working abroad, no matter how far apart- they're always connected by their love for each other and the quiet but omnipresent nuptial tie and the state of being riz's parents.
and then he's suddenly hit with the reality of an area of sklonda's life that hadn't been on his mind before, considering they were happily and monogamously married. truly just a matter of like, this is not a space you occupy anymore, you're fucking dead, until death do us part and all that, and she might still love you but she loves you like a dead husband like a source of grief like the man she once knew not a living partner. and it's neither of their faults, it's purely a tragedy, and he genuinely wishes her the best because he loves her, he doesn't want her to be alone nor does he expect her to be faithful past reason and the vow they made to each other. but the grief of it still really fucking stings, doesn't it?
#pok gukgak#sklonda gukgak#riz gukgak#the gukgaks#fantasy high#fhsy#fantasy high sophomore year#i have no idea if this makes sense it's an attempt at articulating mush and they exist as multitudes in my brain#and the tenses are all over the place but rly if u get it u get it#im just incredibly abnormal about pok and sklonda ok its so fucking sad#i do hope that at least i articulated that i dont think pok was jealous or anything so benign and unimportant#i do gen see it as him being grief stricken. keep moving keep moving so u dont have to think abt the pain of others moving#and then GAH riz is so much like him. he rly is so much like his dad. help me#dan talks
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Hello - I was impressed and extremely relieved by what you wrote in the post about the cult mentality of the Left RE Israel and accusations of genocide. You mentioned that you bought into the mindset until recently. If it's all right for me to ask, what was it that helped you break out of it? (Please feel free to delete/ignore if you'd rather not answer!)
thank you!! and no worries about askingâ i think i put something in my pinned post about how people are welcome to send asks about this stuff, although my story isnât super interesting. i fell down the typical online rabbithole, a couple weeks after october 7; i knew what had happened, at least vaguely, but the posts trickling onto my dash were all about the (undeniably tragic) loss of life in gaza, with little to no acknowledgment of the hamas atrocities that had started the war, so my narrative was pretty one-sided from the beginning. it just continued to snowball as the months went on and people became more radicalized, calling into question the reality of the 10/7 attacks and the humanity of all israelis. i never went all the way down the pipeline to full-on endorsing hamas or justifying their attacks, at least on a personal level, thank god, but i would reblog other peopleâs posts referring to hamas as a âresistance movementâ and calls to boycott starbucks and mcdonaldâs and condemnation of the âzionist mediaâ etc etc etc. what pulled me out of it wasnât any one thingâ if someone had directly called me on my flawed logic and antisemitic biases while i was in this mindset, i doubt it would have done much, just reinforced my belief that i was on the âright side of historyâ and zionists were aggressors who couldnât be reasoned with. it was mostly just passive observance and a slow exposure to other perspectives. iâm pretty sure the first post that led me to question my thinking was an ask on jewish-vents, which popped up on my dash in like, late july. this led me down another rabbithole, first scouring every single post on jewish-vents, then moving on to more popular jewish blogs that i had seen on âzionist blocklistsâ (applesauce42069, xclowniex, and spacelazarwolf were probably some of the blogs that influenced me the most, though i told myself i was just hate-scrolling at first, lol). i felt incredibly guilty seeing all the harm the movement i was a part of had caused to random jews and israelis just trying to live their lives and i realized how it went against everything i believed about how minority groups should be treated. from there, the aspect of actually undoing my thinking and changing my behavior for the better still took several weeks. denial of jewish indigenity to the levant in the face of tantamount archeological and cultural evidence was the first to go, as well as any ambiguity in my feelings about hamas. after that, itâs mostly been a slow process of redefining the idfâs actions from a âgenocideâ to a âwar.â i still believe that whatâs happening in gaza is unconscionable and horrific, and that too many innocent civilians have died, but i also understand how difficult it is to fight against a terrorist group that systematically embeds itself in civilian populations, and that the ratio of militant to civilian deaths is incredibly low compared to most urban warfare. i quietly deleted my old blog in early augustâ if i had directly engaged in harassment against jews, i likely would have kept it to make amends to the harmed parties and put a face to my actions, but as was, i had just contributed to the larger atmosphere of antisemitism on this site, and i felt uncomfortable knowing that i had a blog full of sentiments that no longer matched my values and beliefs. i decided i would be better if i took my endorsement out of the equation entirely, because when youâre looking through the notes of a post, it obviously doesnât matter if someone whoâs reblogged it no longer agrees with what was saidâ their notes still count as tacit approval, and i did not want approval of this âactivismâ attached to my online presence. i still have unwanted kneejerk reactions that crop up sometimes, particularly around the fundraiser posts from people âin gazaâ; even though i know logically that they have all the markers of scams, there is still a part of me that really wants to believe i could help.
#thank you so much for asking i really do enjoy explaining how i got here and i hope these discussions#can help someone like me someday. choosing to unlearn everything i had swallowed is one of the best decisions i ever made#also sorry this took so long i took like an hour typing it out and hit text block limit for the first time ever#and then tumblr decided there was an ~error~ processing my post#so i pasted it into the notes app and then back into a draft. i hope my response makes sense and isnât too rambly#leftist antisemitism#deradicalization#i/p#hlmoorewrites#ask
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Can I please have meet cute/weird with mistaken villain! Danny (but really just a engineer and or chem student) and the one being put on investigation cause Danny is a day villain(not really)! Duke
Technically, Danny Fenton is innocent. Technically.Â
Duke wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, especially since heâs having so much trouble finding solid evidence that Danny is stealing from a wide variety of people, but heâs been burned before by trying to see people as better than they were. It doesnât change the fact that Oracleâs cameras keep spotting Danny right before a building on the street is broken into and something stolen. Heâs always just walking down the sidewalk; no one has spotted him entering or exiting a building, but heâs around far too often to be unconnected to these burglaries.Â
It doesnât help that strange, petty crimes have been on the rise since Danny first arrived in Gotham.Â
So.
Danny Fenton is technically innocent.
Duke is trying to prove that heâs not.Â
Maybe Iâm looking too closely, he thinks, going over Dannyâs sparse file in the Hatch. Maybe Dannyâs only one person in a bigger operation.
He could just be the lookout, the runner, the information gatherer who marks which buildings to hit. He may even be the scapegoat, the sacrificial lamb; Danny has no support in Gotham, no family, no job. There would be no one to help him if he got arrested or injured in a fight. Heâs a freshman college student from Illinois who should be unprepared for life in Gotham but is somehow managing to survive like a native.Â
Thereâs a lot about Danny that doesnât add up.Â
Duke has seen plenty of different people since he first went out as the Signal. Heâs tried to be kind and give people the benefit of the doubt, but it leads to his loved ones being put in danger. Some people are truly evil, some working on a malicious agenda, some are misguided in their beliefs, and some are desperate people who see no other way to move forward.
Heâs not sure yet which on Danny is, but heâs hoping Danny is just desperate and needs a little help to get out of a life of crime.
Which leads to the next problem: Duke has no idea what Danny is steal, or why. He hits both rich and poor folks, civilians and members of the mob, and once, notably, stole something right out of Cobblepotâs office. Allegedly, at least, since no one saw him enter or exit the office, not even the security cameras.Â
But added to the whispers going around about a new group in Gotham snatching people up from the streets, and some strange green substances found in warehouses often raided by police for the frequent drug labs that pop up in themâŚÂ
It doesnât look good for Danny. Especially when a few of the items he stole were found where people either vanished or where that green substance has been found.
A week of analysis in the Batcave and they still donât know what it is.Â
Both Damian and Jason suspected Lazarus water, but the composition was completely different. By the look of the molecular structure, it shouldnât have been in a liquid form at all.Â
All these findings lead back to one person who may have answers: Danny Fenton.
According to Tim, whoâs already broken into Dannyâs dorm room and checked over all the labs he has classes in, Danny has some concerning items in his possession. Various inventions and little metal knick-knacks put together by a practiced hand. He was also the one to find all the information that went into Dannyâs file when it was first being made: social media posts, school report cards, news articles about his parents⌠everything.Â
And then he had an emergency mission to take with the Titans that swept him out of Gotham leaving Duke to tackle this investigation on his own.Â
He doesnât have Timâs natural skill in stalking and invading privacy. He hates breaking into peopleâs spaces and following them around, but needs must and he has to force himself to work through the discomfort.Â
Itâs a good thing he did, too. Dannyâs leaving his dorm after his last afternoon class, hood up to hide his face and something held in the front pocket of his hoodie. He ducks around people on the sidewalk easily, almost as if heâs gliding through the crowd instead of walking.Â
Duke follows from above, bending the light around him to hide him from sight.Â
He walks for some time, weaving through alleys and streets as if heâs been in Gotham his whole life, leaving behind the university campus to head towards Otisberg. Thereâs something strange about the way Danny walks, as if heâs moving around people who arenât there, guided by something Duke canât hear. Even using his meta abilities doesnât do much beyond show him where Dannyâs going to be in the next few seconds.Â
He continues to follow Danny on the rooftops, walking along the edge to keep him in sight.Â
Then Danny stops behind an apartment building and tilts his head back to look up at it. He tilts his head to the side, then nods and looks around the empty alley. Duke crouches down, keeping his eyes on Danny in the hopes of catching him in the actâ
Danny disappears.
Duke curses under his breath and jumps down from the roof, putting more strength into his abilities as soon as his feet touch the ground.Â
The space where Danny was has a faint outline, oddly enough. Heâs never seen that before. From it is a semi-transparent trail, smoke-like and a pale green leading into the building. It goes straight into a wall, as if Danny walked through it.
He canât go in and search the entire apartment, but he can grapple up and take a look into the hallways to see where Dannyâs heading. If he was looking up, then thatâs where he should be heading.Â
It doesnât take any effort to scale the building. There are ledges and windowsills and plenty of handholds for him to propel himself off of, and paired with his powers, Duke is able to find the correct floor in just under two minutes.Â
The green smoke slowly dances through the air of the ninth floor, on the east side of the building. If heâs been counting the rooms correctly, then the target of tonightâs burglary has to be apartment 924.Â
The curtains are drawn on the window he makes his way over to, and his abilities donât show him anything helpful for the immediate future. He hates going in blind, especially to a civilianâs home, but capturing Danny takes priority. Duke picks the lock and slides the window up slowly, making sure it stays quiet, then slips into an empty bedroom.Â
He makes his way out into the hallway on silent feet, keeping a wary eye on the thin smoke strands of green, curling along the walls. The rest of the apartment is empty as well, pale sunlight slanting across the floor through the blinds.Â
Everything is still and silent. Dannyâs nowhere to be found.Â
Did he miss Danny leaving, somehow? Was this a misdirect to get him out of the way while Danny stole from another location? Did he know Duke was following him?
But no, his ears pick up on the faint sound of clothes rustling.Â
Cautiously, Duke turns towards the front door, where the door to the coat closet is open. He focuses on whatâs going to happen in the next twenty seconds and sees Danny panic, then disappear from sight again, but a transparent outline of his body is visible just enough to show him where he runs to. Best not to spook him; Duke pulls at the light around him and bends it to hide him from sight.
Then he moves along the wall, getting around the open door without bumping into anyone or anything.Â
A figure in front of the coats, shoving them to the side roughly, flickers in and out of view, almost like a reflection in water, distorted by ripples on the surface.Â
Danny pops back into visibility suddenly, scowling at the coats. âAre you sure itâs in here?â he asks the empty air.Â
There is no answer, but Danny acts like there is. He rolls his eyes and says, âItâs a favor. That Iâm doing for you. I can literally stop right now and you wouldnât be able to stop me.â He shoves aside another heavy winter coat, then sighs. âWhy donât you look for it, and then tell me where it is.â
He steps back and bumps into Duke.
Danny whirls around, eyes wide, and blast of green light has Duke crashing back into the wall, trying to blink spots out of his eyes.Â
âWait!â he yells, grabbing for Danny before he can run off. âI just wanna talk!â
âStanding right behind me like a serial killer does not make you look like someone who wants to talk!â Danny yells back, slipping through his hands like mist.Â
âI just have a few questions!â
âWell, I have a question: why?!â
âWill you hold still, weâre being too loud!â
Danny escapes to the other side of the apartment, next to a window looking fully prepared to fling himself out of it. But he does stop yelling, so Duke is counting it as a success.
âWhy is the Signal coming after me?â Danny asks, glaring at him suspiciously.
âDude,â Duke says, âYouâve been seen outside of every single building thatâs had a burglary since you first arrived in Gotham. All the Bats are after you, they just sent me because Iâm the only one active during the day.â
âAll the Bats?â Danny repeats, losing what little color he had in his face.
He looks legitimately scared, pale enough to be concerning, and Duke drops his guard and tries to relax the tension in the apartment. âIâm not gonna turn you into the cops or anything. I just had questions and you seem like the most likely person to have answers. Thatâs it.â
Danny still looks wary, ready to run at a momentâs notice, but he doesnât leave when Duke approached casually, leaning his weight against the couch.Â
âSo,â he begins, âWhatâs the deal with all the thievery? Itâs rarely something super rare or expensive.â
Thereâs a long few minutes where Danny doesnât answer, looking anywhere but at Duke. Then he twitches a bit and glares off to the side, and says, âI taking items that are contaminated with ectoplasm to help ghosts move through the veil and leave Gotham.â
That tells him nothing! That just gives Duke more questions! But at least itâs an answer, the first one any of them have got.
âI think youâre gonna have to explain a little more.â
âGhosts are real, alright?â
âYes.â
Danny stops. Squints at him. âWhat do you mean, âyesâ?â
âGhosts are real,â Duke repeats, âThere are a few who help heroes or are heroes themselves, but thatâs more on the magic side of things so Iâm not super familiar with it.â
âMagic,â Danny says slowly. âSure, alright. Um. Yes, ghosts are real. And there are a ton in Gotham who need help moving on, but theyâre too weak to get past the veil. Something about Gotham has made the veil super strong, so they need a little boost to get through. Additional ectoplasm bonded helps with that.â
âAnd thatâs why youâre stealing random things?â
âThe ghosts I help can kind of sense ectoplasm-infused things, but they need me to grab them since they canât hold anything without a physical body.â
Duke nods slowly. âOkay, thatâs starting to answer some things. We have found those objects in the last places missing people were seen. Any idea whatâs going on with that?â
âYeah, those people were already dead.â
The way Danny says the most concerning answers as if theyâre nothing is really throwing Duke off his game. He was expecting to be calm and serious to keep Danny from freaking out too much and look like a legitimate hero. But as soon as Danny started talking, all his nerves fell away and Duke is left grasping for composure.Â
âThey wereâŚâ
âThey were ghosts, yeah. And they needed to get through the veil. But they were also able to possess their own bodies and didnât realize they were dead until I had to break the news to them, which is why it looks like living people just up and disappeared.â
âOkay⌠What about the green stuff weâve been finding?â
âEctoplasm.â Danny holds up a hand and a neon green light surrounds it. Except it looks more solid than light, as if it can be touched, and it moves on its own like fire around Dannyâs fingers. âItâs what ghosts are made of.â
Oh. If Danny has ectoplasm, does that meanâŚ
âAre you dead?â Duke asks, heart dropping.Â
Instead of looking upset about the question, or even disturbed by it, Danny just shrugs and waves his hand back and forth. âA little.â
âOkay, so let me get this straight,â Duke says, trying to resist the urge to rub his temples. Itâs a habit he didnât mean to pick up from Batman, and it would just look silly with his helmet in the way. âYouâre just doing all this to help ghosts?â
âYeah. Basically. They asked for help man, of course I was going to help them.â
Dannyâs a good person. Heâs just a good person to ghosts. But this is good news either way, and he can let the others know that Danny isnât the next Catwoman and is entirely unconnected from any drug production. Everything that made him look like a criminal is just the fault of ghosts.Â
âSpeaking of,â Danny continues, âLooks like they found what they need, so Iâm going to grab that real quick.â He pushes off of the wall and heads for the closet again, moving past Duke without any fear. Duke follows, keeping a few feet of distance between them so Danny doesnât feel trapped, and watches as he shoves aside the coats again and pulls a shoebox out of the depths of the closet. From it, he takes a single intricate lace headband and holds it up.
It looks normal, if a little old, but when Danny sends ectoplasm through it, the lace lights up and holds the glow.Â
He pulls some strange contraption out of his pocket and holds it up to the headband. It makes a few beeps, then Danny mutters, â7.4 millisieverts. Thatâs enough to get you through the veil.â
Another concern Duke can let go of: Dannyâs not creating weapons like his parents have, heâs just measuring ectoplasm through his own inventions.Â
Maybe he could talk to Bruce or Tim about getting Danny an internship at the R&D lab in Wayne Enterprises? That way they could keep a closer eye on him while seeing what he can create in some of the best laboratories in the country.
Well, it might take having them meet Danny before they trust him enough for that, but Duke is sure he can make it happen.Â
âI better go see this through, then,â Danny says, shoving the contraption back into his hoodie pocket. He gives Duke a small awkward wave, then pops out of visibility. âIâll see you around, I guess?â he disembodied voice hedges, and Duke smiles.
âIâm sure Iâll be able to find you again.â
âCool. I gonna go now!âÂ
He doesnât see any sign that Dannyâs left, but he gets a feeling that heâs alone now, the apartment suddenly emptier than it was before.Â
As strange and concerning as Danny and all his bizarre actions were, Duke is glad he was able to finally talk to him and get some answers. Knowing how Gotham pulls people him in, itâs only a matter of time before the other Bats are exposed to Dannyâs kind of strange. Heâs already looking forward to it.Â
For now, though, he has a file to update in the Hatch; POTENTIAL THREAT will be removed and replaced with GHOST HELPER.Â
If anyone goes snooping into his files and gets confused, then thatâs their problem. Dukeâs explained enough. And Danny can take care of the rest, once they go through the effort of tracking him down. Duke's done his part, he's ready for the rest of them to step up to his level.
He canât wait to see what other kind of trouble Danny can get it into.
#ghostlights#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompt fill#my writing#could not do a meet cute/weird in this prompt so i made it a meet disaster lol#heres danny trying to focus on his education!! and then ghosts start popping up asking for help bc gotham wont let them leave#so danny has to make a few contraptions to be able to help them (mostly ecto tracking/measuring/containing) and it looks SOOO sus#the ghosts also have a weak ecto sense which is how they find him bc hes FULL of ecto#and that means hes robbing houses during the day/late evening bc the night is for homework and stress#duke is just... trying his best lol.#sorry if the last part of this is rushed or confusing i am slightly sick and can Not focus#anyways i hope u enjoy!!#thanks for the prompt!!
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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tbh I think Calypso views herself as Odysseus's rest and reward. like, she's the comfort in a hurt/comfort fic. she's the therapy saga. and honestly, a lot of her actions make sense when you look at it like that.
Odysseus is traumatised and scared and hurting. and she understands that. she's so understanding that she doesn't take it personally when he yells or screams or begs -- trauma makes it hard to regulate emotions, after all. he'll calm down in a little bit.
she's so understanding that she's not even hurt when he rejects her advances. he's been alone for so long that he's scared to intimacy now. but she doesn't let that discourage her. he'll get used to the idea eventually.
she's so understanding that she doesn't give up on him, even when he talks and talks and talks about his wife and son. obviously he wants to go back to them, but what he wants isn't what's good for him. that's fine, he doesn't need to know what's good for him yet. that's what she's for.
she's so understanding that she doesn't even let it upset her too much when Ody stands too close to the edge and stares out at sea below like its calling to him. it's okay. she can catch him if he falls.
sure, they're relationship isn't what she's dreamed about for centuries -- real relationships never are that perfect. her Ody has a lot of healing to do. and she'll make sure she's with him through it all.
#I just think they're dynamic makes more sense if Calypso genuinely thinks she's being helpful#and understands that Odysseus is the most traumatised man to ever breathe#like. yeah of course he's rejecting my affections and gestures of love. he doesnt think he deserves nice things đ so sad#I'll just have to shower him with presents and love until he understands that he's more than earned it :)#of course he keeps trying to leave. the only hope he's had for over a decade now (a long time for mortals!) is getting back home#he doesn't understand that he's somewhere even better now đď¸. with someone even better now đđ#anyway. she's not a good person but I think she'd disagree#epic the musical#epic calypso#epic odysseus#love in paradise#not sorry for loving you#<- oh yeah I had this thought partially because of 'that you're not mine to save' line#and partially the cliff scene#nuclear war speaks
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Hiii I love your art style soo much its so pretty!! This has probably been asked before but I'd love to know how you go about choosing colours/ making colour palettes because thats something I personally struggle with doing <3
Hiiiii thank you! Okay so usually when i choose my own colours i just pick whatever i feel like looks nice so i don't really have a good explanation for that (yet) lmao, but! i also do this that i think works pretty well too:
which is basically just messing around with the layer filters/Blending Modes of the art programs until i get something that looks nice, not necessarily using the same ones i used here, but any that might work, also sometimes i choose whatever colours (not colour picking) and then do this same process to make them look better :P
#ask#should i tag chara since i used them as an example here?#ehh#undertale#ig#utdr#chara dreemurr#i do this process a lot of the time but i forgot to say that i shade differently from this example#instead of using purple i just choose#without multiply#a darker colour that i think looks nice-ish#or a different colour that can work as shading for another#like purple-ish shading for red or orange-ish for yellow#but i do shading with multiply sometimes too so its not like i do not use it#its pretty good for when i want to shade something quickly#anyways thats all i think#hope this helps!#and makes sense whoops#art tip#colouring#idk
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wow so I have like 3 analysis in progress that touch on this topic but I really need to just talk about it rn with its own spotlight.
Aziraphale has this entire life that he's built for himself on earth, after armageddon he's thriving. When we catch up with him in Season 2 his first scene is literally him going to check in with one of his tenants, and throughout the season we see that he has a decent relationship with nearly Everyone on the block. He has an entire life for himself all hashed out and pretty.
Crowley... does not. His cold open in Season 2 is back in St. James park, checking in with Shax, finding out the gossip on Hell. He doesn't have his apartment, he only has his Bentley and the few plants he could fit in it. He doesn't have any other human friendships. His entire life and everything he loves to do is built entirely around Aziraphale.
This is something that I just find so fucking thrilling because when it comes to their characters and where exactly they are in their arcs right now, it's essentially like looking into a mirror.
Aziraphale knows exactly who he is when he's on his own. He nurtures his own relationships with humans he sees often, he's a nice landlord, he loves books and classical music, and hot cocoa. But, Aziraphale still holds onto the ideals of heaven. He still cares about doing good and being forgiving. He still cowers and jumps at the opportunity to help heaven, not because he wants to but because he's supposed to because he's still an angel.
Crowley has nothing. He has his car, which he drives to a secluded location to park every night, only to drive it right back in the morning. He's only even vaguely recognizable because people associate him with Aziraphale and this is fine for him, he could care less. He doesn't really need to know who he is or process his traumas, why would he when he can put all his attention and focus and love and care directly into Aziraphale? His friend, who has always been his friend, the one person who has always stood by him. Who cares about heaven and hell, he has Aziraphale.
When we finally see them on their own and without the influences of their head offices, we see the opposite of what we'd expect, and nearly the opposite of the outcome we see in episode 6. Crowley is the one constantly checking in with Hell (wether he likes it or not), and Aziraphale is the one who's living care free without even thinking about heaven. When he does something good that he wants to report, he just calls Crowley.
this whole dance of Crowley not knowing who he is without Aziraphale and Aziraphale knowing who he is fundamentally but not knowing how to break free from the confines of Heaven that stop him from truly embracing Crowley in the end, it's just so delicious.
#like does this make sense#they themselves are almost foils for eachother#you would expect Aziraphale to be the one struggling without Heaven but he's actually doing fine?#he doesn't even think about rejoining Heaven until Crowley's mentioned but him wanting to help Gabriel at all out of this vague obligation#its just like man he's still in there#and Crowley being completely done with heavan and hell but never truly finding out what that means for him#i hope this makes sense to people#idek if at this rate anyone will see this#my recent posts have been swallowed by the void it would seem but alas ill keep writing them#bi.f.shit#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#gos2 spoilers#ineffable divorcĂŠes#aziraphale#crowley#good omens meta#good omens analysis#ineffable husbands
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my full piece that i did for the @neondownpourzine !! a zine made celebrating the one-year anniversary for master detective archives: rain code!! (ďžâăŽâ)ďž*:シďžâ§
this is the first zine that i got to participate in! (as i said many times already lol) super grateful that i got a chance to make something for this project, i had a lot of fun creating this piece!! everybody else's works are SUPER amazing, please give the zine a peek for yourselves and maybe even rain code as well??? thank you very much!! ���
#rain code#ari art#fanzine#YAYAYAY here's my piece AAAAAAAAAAAAA YAYAYAYAAYAY!!!!! :))) v happy with it!!!#master detective archives: rain code#rain code spoilers#master detective archives spoilers#the prologue and chapter 1 are like. two of my fave sections of the game?? if that makes sense. they really helped sustain my attention#on the game as it went on tbh so i think that's why i chose chapter 1 as my main focus for the zine#i also really wanted to draw a mystery phantom seth LMAO#halara nightmare#yuma kokohead#seth burroughs#anyways if you check out the zine and/or the game rain code i hope you enjoy it! đđźđ¤Ą
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" just know that i'm always here for you, okay? "
i'm finally finishing up my s2 rewatch and getting to the 24th episode awoke a beast in me. so i wanted to make a fake screenshot based on some of their lore that takes place during that episode. i think they'd end up having a heart-to-heart moment since kuroba went through similar struggles after their grandfather's own hospitalization...
also have a bonus doodle bc i need to even out the balance between serious & goofy with these two.
#my urge to attempt writing a fic based on this is SO STRONG. even though i do not have a lot of experience w/ fic writing#buT GAAAA I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE LAST TWO EPISODES AND KUROBA....#it's hard to put into words rn but god there's so much.....#like. kuroba trying to help out matsuyo behind the scenes since they sympathize with how hard things can be when i loved one ->#is in the hosptial due to something that could've been life threatening ( matsuzou's heart attack & chouji's hip + leg injury )#i also think they personally delivered some get-well flowers to matsuzou and checked up on him in the hospital#that's not even getting into everything that happens after the sextuplets die...#i won't go into it rn but there's a reason why matsuyo & matsuzou are very keen on kuroba marrying into the family#ALSO I FINALLY DREW A BACKGROUND AGAIN AFTER 50 YEARS#now ya'll have a lil insight on what the inside of kuroba's shop looks like hehe#hopefully my rambling is making sense rn. i hope it is đ#osmt#yumematsu#osomatsu-san oc#karamatsu#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#ship : kurokara#mj draws
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csp mini guide: edge eraser!
@lunasun hihi!! i tried to make an visual and wrote an explanation i hope this makes sense but if not then i failed LOL i hope you don't mind the tag
Erase Along Edge (Edge Eraser) text version!
1. Sketch or line as normal on one layer. 2. On a separate layer, below the lineart, color as normal. 3. Return to the lineart layer, and set it as the "Reference Layer". (Toggle ON by clicking on the lighthouse icon!) 4. Return to the color layer, select the "Erase Along Edge" tool, and erase the offending overlap! Aaand then you're done! Try stick to the outside of your lineart to avoid accidently erasing what's inside. As long as your brush size is reasonable, it shouldn't erase what's inside too much or at all unless if your cursor is inside of the lineart!
Quick Troubleshoot
"It won't erase properly?" "My lines aren't opaque and/or is too messy." That's OK!! While I do recommend solid lines (few gaps or none) or opaque lines (at 100% opacity), it's NOT necessary! It just makes using the tool easier! Most of the time you can get away with it, so don't worry about having to change your style or anything. If the lines are not solid (have gaps) or aren't opaque (lower than 100% opacity), please refer to the tool properties/settings! You may need to experiment here. Adjust the "Tolerance" and "Area Scaling" settings and repeat the process until you reach your desired result! Please note: If lines intercept (creating small "pockets) or opacity is still an issue you may have to manually erase anyways (sorry lol). By all means, it isn't perfect BUT it is a BIIIGG time saver once you have it down! The creator (pharan) makes more specific points and fixes in their guide that is far more in depth! I just want this to be easy to understand for anyone who's never used it before or is trying it for the first time! :)
#clip studio paint#csp ex#csp pro#fnaf daycare attendant#dca fandom#moondrop#pingdoobles#god i HOPE this makes sense#please tell me if it doesn't!!!#im not used to making guides or anything and i DO NOT claim to be a professional#im also happy to answer more questions or help further explain if there's still confusion!#ok i need to sleep i have to work and it's almost 6am awkughaw#will make a 2nd guide on the lasso fill tool âice cream manâ thing sometime l8r#idk when later is but at some point#my eyes are drooping while i type god#i am the eeper gn!! (or gm??)
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Okay not to compare two bad bitches (dunmeshi and scavengers reign) but Barry and Laios are both such good autism representation in such different ways! Laiosâ special interest and the way he sees the world is integral to the plot, it may even be the driving force. If he were allistic, the story probably wouldâve gone something like âand they never got far enough down to revive Falin, and the Canaries came and shut down the dungeon, but it was pretty much another Utaya incident.â Laiosâ autism is one of the storyâs driving forces, as best as I can tell
Barry, though? Barry is just. An autistic person existing. His struggle is a moral one, and he doesnât need to be autistic to have that struggle and that growth. He didnât need to be accurate autism representation for the show or the story to work. But he was. Heâs autistic, and he exists, and thatâs just how it is. Like in real life
#dunmeshi shows you how autism can help. sr shows you how autism can just exist#or something like that idk Iâm not an English major#dungeon Meshi#dunmeshi#scavengers reign#I hope this makes sense#this I say
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when people say their abuser is "not always like this!" and "they're actually really nice sometimes!" but like. look at me. your abuser is not exempted from accountability of their gaslighting, manipulation, and cruelty just because they have "good days". sunny days don't undo the brutal damage caused by hurricanes. "well it's nice out today" yeah, okay. but sunshine and birdsong don't repair broken homes do they?
#reminders#gentle reminders#healing#positivity#mental health#self care#self love#self help#self healing#self improvement#encouragement#quotes#inspiration#inspirational quotes#mine#does this make sense? i really hope it does.
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happy flora friday! C:
#FINALLY MY FLORA DRAWINH#thank you flora drawing for helping me during a mental health crisis /kinda silly but working on this did help#also i had to like. absolutely SHRINK the image cuz it was very big sdhfsjfd#i think it still looks okay tho#hope everyone has/has had a wonderful friday! <3#professor layton#flora reinhold#i know the shading is weird and doesn't make sense but i was just playing around with stuff#i like kind of blocky (?) shading
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obligatory turtle pile art
[Image Description: A digital illustration of Don, Mikey, Leo, and Raph from the TMNT 2003 cartoon. They all sleep in a turtle pile surrounded by pillows and blankets. Mikey and Leo are in the center, Leoâs arm around Mikeyâs shoulder and Mikeyâs arm stretched out over Leoâs stomach. Mikey sleeps open mouthed, while Leo looks relaxed and is smiling faintly. Don is curled up around Mikeyâs side with his cheek resting on Leoâs arm. Raph is curled up around Leoâs back with an arm over his chest. Leo rests his head against Raphâs shoulder. A beam of light falls over their faces. End ID.]
#does this make any sense spatially? absolutely not. but fuck it we ball#tmnt#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2k3#donatello tmnt#michelangelo tmnt#leonardo tmnt#raphael tmnt#tmnt 03#teenage mutant ninja turtles#described#i did my best with the id but it is a hard scene to describe i hope it works fine!#man how do i tag anything in this fandom#can you tell i like drawing their little feets btw. i canât help but take insp from the idw and 12 styles in that regard#they remind me of my catâs bigass clumsy paws#frogs.art
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