#i do gen see it as him being grief stricken. keep moving keep moving so u dont have to think abt the pain of others moving

[whoviandoodler]

been thinking about pok a lot again and that moment when riz told him sklonda was dating gorthalax (in some capacity or another) and pok just went quiet for a bit before he wished her well and like. he's riz's father to such a degree that it hurts. he died young, got to paradise and then said, ok time to go back to work, chop chop. and he does take breaks to listen to riz at his grave and he works in a beautiful meadow when he's not down in hell and -literally speaking- he does sit down but metaphorically he keeps on going and going.

and i'm just imagining that- obviously he knows that he's dead, right? but the human* brain is weird in that way where you'll know things, and you might even sit with them and think you've processed them, but then something will hit you out of left field and you'll realize there are so many aspects of the situation you hadn't internalized yet, and i think that one of those aspects for pok was sklonda, or rather all the dimensions in which her life branched off after he died. because with riz he'd always been painfully aware that his kid was growing up and changing, but with sklonda it's a bit more complicated, it's a bit easier to process the grief of being apart from her, purely on an unconscious level, as being away for work. he's working, she's working, she probably tells him about her work and about riz and riz includes his mom in his stories and it's like, oh this is horribly painful, that i can't be there, but in a way he and sklonda share a lot of what they used to when he was working abroad, no matter how far apart- they're always connected by their love for each other and the quiet but omnipresent nuptial tie and the state of being riz's parents.

and then he's suddenly hit with the reality of an area of sklonda's life that hadn't been on his mind before, considering they were happily and monogamously married. truly just a matter of like, this is not a space you occupy anymore, you're fucking dead, until death do us part and all that, and she might still love you but she loves you like a dead husband like a source of grief like the man she once knew not a living partner. and it's neither of their faults, it's purely a tragedy, and he genuinely wishes her the best because he loves her, he doesn't want her to be alone nor does he expect her to be faithful past reason and the vow they made to each other. but the grief of it still really fucking stings, doesn't it?

[hd-wireless]

🎶 HD Wireless 2021 Reveals! 🎶

TAKE A BOW, CREATORS!! 

The day has finally come, and we can’t wait for everyone to see who created all the wonderful Wireless works that we had the privilege to present to you this year!!

Before we do that, the results of our Guessing Game! The winner, with 43 correct guesses (which gave her 260 points - please don’t question our scoring system) was @sweet-s0rr0w!! Kudos to your super-sleuthing and powers of recognition!!

All the wonderful authors, artists and podficcers who took part this year can be found below the cut. As the mods, we want to extend our thanks to every single talented one of them. Please show them all your love and appreciation!!

🎶 H/D Wireless Animatic and Fic 🎶

📻 rather a lover than a fighter [T, 15k] ✒️ Author and Artist: @parkkate & aceveria / @aceveria-art

🎵 Summary: When Harry loses his voice and his magic, it’s up to Healer Draco to save the day.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶

📻 The Road to Somewhere [T] 🖌️ Artist: @rainsoakedhello 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: In the end, all roads lead home.

📻 Don't care what they say (I would be stupid to be not on it) [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: @digthewriter 🎵 Art medium: Digital. Photoshop.

🎵 Summary: Harry finally has a chance with Draco and he's not gonna let it go.

📻 Start Over Again [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: milkandhoney / @fictional 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: Do you feel like a chainstore? Or in which one is Graham Coxon and one is Damon Albarn.

📻 Down for What You Want [Teen] 🖌️ Artist: @sugareey 🎵 Art medium: Digital

🎵 Summary: After the war, finding refuge in the clubs of Muggle London is easier than dealing with the shambles of the wizarding world. When Harry and Draco keep running into each other at Apollo's every Saturday night though, they follow their gut instincts to get on the dance floor and discover something they both have been craving for a long time.

📻 What do I do? With a Love That Won’t Sit Still [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: @cambiodipolvere 🎵 Art medium: traditional (graphite)

🎵 Summary: Italian Greyhounds are small and fucked up, but Draco is a big fuck up and that requires scaling.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art and Fic 🎶

📻 A Halo of Fairy Orbs [E, 20.6k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: vivi1138 / @penguinanimagus & Fae_vorite / @faevorite-main-blog 🎵 Art medium: digital art

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy has been dead for fifteen years, but the Black Family tapestry doesn’t agree. Upon returning from long years abroad, Harry discovers that his old rival might still be alive, and his revived obsession leads him to Malfoy Manor. There’s a mystery to solve, and Harry is chasing a thrill he hasn’t felt since sixth year. He needs to know.

📻 Oh, Sinnerman [E, 40k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: @lou-isfake and @babooshkart 🎵 Art medium: digital

🎵 Summary: “I’m serious, Potter,” Malfoy said quietly. “That was some real bad luck you had, being there last night. They will come after you, and they will kill you—after torturing you for information on my whereabouts.” He pocketed Harry’s wand, but held on to his knife, twirling it between his fingers. Harry was distracted by its movement, the reflections of the bright, dawning sun on polished silver. “I’m not happy about it, either, but you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.” He watched Malfoy’s face for a long time, in a staring contest he wasn’t sure he’d signed up for. Stuck with Malfoy, for the foreseeable future, on the run from a massive crime syndicate that had infiltrated the Ministry and was out for their blood. It was all very familiar, except for the Malfoy part.  

📻 The Crane Lord of Gringotts [E, 31.1k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: @vukovich and @crazybutgood 🎵 Art medium: Origami, photography

🎵 Summary: Harry is fine. Being an Auror is fine. Living with Ginny is fine. It's all fine. But it used to be a lot better.

📻 The World Is A Violent Sky [E, 60k] 🖌️✒️ Author/Artist: writingsbydestiny / @starlitsilvereyes 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: Harry Potter wants to die; Draco Malfoy wants to live — a story of life and death, everything in between and beyond — in the form of scatters of love and hurt like freckles of stars forming into constellations. — Alternative Summary (And Significantly Less Poetic): Four years after the war, Harry remains grief-stricken. In an attempt to discover the parts of him that haven’t died in the Forbidden Forest, he drops off the face of Scotland to travel the world by himself. Along the way, he finds his old enemy, Draco Malfoy, in a Muggle country, looking positively dashing even with a slash of scar decorating his face. As always, Harry’s curiosity leads him to (un)fortunate places.

📻 The Stars Have Courage [M, 85k] 🖌️✒️ Author/Artist: @fantalf 🎵  Art medium: Digital painting

🎵 Summary: Draco can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t move. He can’t hear anything besides the buzzing in his ears. The walls are closing in. The world becomes smaller, narrowing itself to the pain in his chest, and it becomes the only thing that makes sense. He tries to cry. Maybe he is crying, but there are no tears anymore. Luna’s words echo endlessly in his brain. Harry doesn’t remember. Harry doesn’t love Draco. Repeating ceaselessly. Infinite, Harry used to say. No. No. No. Draco can’t lose him again. But he doesn’t know who you are now. He doesn’t love you. He hates you. You are no one. His world turns into an overwhelming pain. And that pain is all that he is. — Draco waited five long years to watch his husband wake up from a coma. He's not ready to meet a Harry with no memory of anything that happened after he died at The Battle of Hogwarts, twelve years ago.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic Collab 🎶

📻 'Til Your World Burns [E, 25.3k] ✒️ 🖋️Authors: @ladderofyears and @iero0

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy is raped and watches as his world falls apart. Harry Potter is the quiet, unassuming wizard who finally listens to him.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶

📻 Inside These Walls [M, 5.6k] 🖋️ Author: @jackvbriefs

🎵 Summary: The year before Draco moves to Los Angeles, Harry Potter disappears. Draco doesn't mean to find him. He's just doing his job.

📻 Drive a Little Slower [Gen, 1.6k] 🖋️ Author: bluefay / @thesleepiesthufflepuff

🎵 Summary: He silently willed Harry to drive a little slower. To let him pretend a little longer.

📻 Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon [T, 16k] 🖋️ Author: thestarryknight / @the-starryknight

🎵 Summary: The Ministry didn’t turn bad overnight. Harry didn’t suddenly turn rogue either. Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person. If there’s an art to fighting back, then they’ll find it hand in hand.

📻 Two Starts, One Finish [E, 5.5k] 🖋️ Author: @lqtraintracks

🎵 Summary: I feel him before I see him. Nobody stands this close to me while I’m playing, and I’m about to turn to tell him so when he says, “You’re a tough bloke to track down,” and then leans against my baby grand.

📻 Never Gonna Give You Up [E, 5k] 🖋️ Author: InnerLilith

🎵 Summary: Five times Harry rickrolls Draco, and one time Draco gets him back.

📻 Alone Together [T, 3k] 🖋️ Author: @iero0

🎵 Summary: He felt like a spectre, roaming the treeless grounds, the deserted streets of Hogsmeade. It was only the train station—of course it was, Harry thinks—that harboured another sleepless soul that night. They were found as though they had been looking for one another; freezing to the ground at the sight of an unmistakable silhouette in the distance, before wordlessly meeting on the platform. They stood there, side by side, faces to the sky.

📻 Nothing Left to Burn [E, 5,1] 🖋️ Author: skeptique / @skeptiquewrites​

🎵 Summary: Over ten years after their fling crashed and burned, Harry runs into Draco and finds embers still burning bright. Sometimes your ex-lover is (metaphorically) dead. And sometimes it's summertime in Montreal and the past won't let go.

📻 The Isle of Discussion [E, 21.6k] 🖋️ Author: @shealwaysreads

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco arrive at the shores of Loch Leven to record the magical history of the land. They’re friends now, but up there in the Highlands, amidst the trees and sky and that wild expanse of water their own past is more present than ever; a gap they still can’t bridge. Magic illuminates the truth, but it is Harry and Draco who have to speak it. Happily, it turns out that honesty is, in fact, the best policy.

📻 (You Should Have Been My) High School Lover [T, 3.9k] 🖋️ Authort: @aprofessionalprotagonist

🎵 Summary: After years of carefully avoiding running into Harry Potter, Pansy tricks Draco into attending a party at Grimmauld Place. How is he supposed to deal with a very attractive Potter trying to talk to him?

📻 Both Hands [E, 10.4] 🖋️ Author: @sweet-s0rr0w

🎵 Summary: It’s been over a decade since Draco packed up his belongings and left, and Harry’s doing just fine. Really, he is. So when he spots the For Sale sign outside their old flat, he doesn’t think twice about arranging a viewing. Curiosity is only natural, right? And what harm can come from a quick trip down memory lane?

📻 His favourite piece of art [E, 1.3k] 🖋️ Author: @gnarf

🎵 Summary: Six years after Malfoy had left, Harry suddenly spotted him on the dancefloor of a Muggle club in London. He couldn't let this opportunity slip…

📻 I'll Try to Keep the Walls From Falling Down [M, 14.9k] 🖋️ Author: @drarrelie

🎵 Summary: It’s OK. Love is only meant for some; Harry knows that. Besides, he wouldn’t want to risk this new, amazing friendship he has going on with Draco for anything in the world. Keeping his walls from falling down is the least he can do.

📻 Learn to Fly [T, 11k] 🖋️ Author: @janieohio

🎵 Summary: Harry’s suffocating under all the expectations of the wizarding world, but he’s fascinated at Malfoy’s sudden ability to flaunt his true self to whoever cares to watch. And Harry? He might like to do something more than watch if he can ever get up the nerve.

📻 Restless Dreams (Stay With Me) [T, 5.5k] 🖋️ Author: wanderingeyre

🎵 Summary: At first, Draco thinks the common room is empty, but then he sees Potter sitting on the floor, back to the wall on the far side of the fireplace. His head is thrown back, exposing the brown column of his throat. The curl of his hair looks soft in the firelight. Potter’s glasses are off and there are tracks where tears have wet his cheeks. He looks naked in a way that stabs at Draco, right between the ribs where everything is already bruised.

📻 Letters From Home [T, 1.1k] 🖋️ Author: @articcat621

 🎵 Summary: Writing to each other is all that's getting them through this war.

📻 so lie to me tonight [T, 5.3k] 🖋️ Author: M0stlyVoid / @bonesliketambourines

🎵 Summary: Ginny thought it would be different, after.

📻 Mortal Frame [M, 6.6k] 🖋️ Author: tackytiger / @tackytigerfic

🎵 Summary: Draco’s on a mission, and this time it's personal. But it's not easy to track down something that no one wants to talk about, especially when Harry Potter keeps popping up everywhere Draco goes. Though at least he’s on Draco’s side this time, and if he happens to be useful, and kind, and great in bed—well, Draco’s not exactly complaining. The story of three pubs, one Horcrux, four overpriced sandwiches, and two damaged men just trying to make sure that Bellatrix Lestrange stays dead.

📻 Prologue [T, 4.5k] 🖋️ Author: adavison / @aedwritesfic

🎵 Summary: Ten years after the war, Harry stumbles across Malfoy in a Muggle club. What could have been an awkward encounter might just be a new beginning.

📻 A Care To Fill The Vessel Of Your Heart [M, 2.5k] 🖋️ Author: @onbeinganangel

🎵 Summary: Draco doesn’t care for atonement. Why should he? Forgetting is easier than forgiving. Or it would be, if fate just left him to his own devices. Fate, as per usual, has its own plans.

📻 Like a Dream I Can Reach (but not quite hold) [M, 19.4k] 🖋️ Author: Cassiara / @cassiaratheslytherpuff

🎵 Summary: Harry spends his life waiting for something he isn’t entirely sure he wants, and looking for something he doesn’t know exists. Everything feels ill-fitting until Draco Malfoy enters his life and shows Harry he doesn’t have to want the expected things, and Harry learns happiness doesn't have to look a certain way.

📻 Sun and Rain [M, 4.7k]

🖋️ Author: @isamijoo 

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy thinks that being in a relationship with Harry Potter is anything but easy, but then again, what's the sun without the rain?

📻 In Pursuit of Lost Marbles [T, 22k] 🖋️ Author:  Theartfulldodger / @graymatters 

🎵 Summary: Every night after work, Healer Malfoy follows the same routine, beginning with a familiar flight of stairs that leads to the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's. With an air of professionalism, he introduces himself to Harry, his husband of seven years, when a memory curse makes Harry look at him like a stranger. He tries not to flinch when Harry calls him sir, but he smiles when bits of the old Harry emerge. Eventually, Draco leads Harry to the Pensieve where he shows him pieces of the life they've built together, what Harry will come home to, one day, when this is all over. Then, Draco waits. He waits, and he hopes.

📻 Requiem [T, 1.8k] 🖋️ Author: EvAEleanor / @evaeleanor

🎵 Summary: Requiem — A song of mourning composed or performed as a memorial to a dead person.

📻 Changes With The Moon [Gen, 1.6k] 🖋️ Author: @missdrarrydawn

🎵 Summary: Draco takes a stroll to try to settle his turbulent thoughts, plagued by who he was, who he is and who he could be. A friend offers him a whole new world and Draco struggles with the idea, for there is too much at stake, it isn't worth it. Or—is it?

📻 Chasing Dragons [E, 89.9k] 🖋️ Author: The_Sinking_Ship / @the-sinking-ship

🎵 Summary: Draco can think of only one way to outclass his pleat-front-khaki-wearing politician ex, and that’s by making headlines with an obvious upgrade. And who better to upstage the cheating bastard than the Saviour of the World, Harry Potter himself? Sure, Potter is a little rough around the edges in ripped jeans, a rumpled tartan shirt, and a permanent scowl. Draco reckons a haircut and a shave wouldn’t hurt, either. But Potter is also in need of a Healer willing to keep his secrets, and Draco is just the man for the job. It’s a perfectly reasonable exchange. They need only attend a couple parties arm-in-arm, smile nicely for the paparazzi, and tolerate each other long enough to convince everyone they’re smitten. In return, Draco will keep Potter alive and in one piece. But it isn’t long before Draco realises he might be in over his head, because Potter is ten tonnes of trouble packed into a leather jacket, and seems keen on hurtling himself towards death on the back of a flying motorbike. And that says nothing of Potter’s penchant for fire-breathing beasts and things that bite. Ah well, at least they’ll have some fun while it lasts. After all, Draco always did like a bit of danger.

📻 Drive, Draco [M, 2.4k] 🖋️ Author: Erebeus / @erebeus-roxy

🎵 Summary: got my driver’s license today, but you're not around to see. Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe

📻 Fire [E, 10k] 🖋️ Author: GallifreyisBurning / @gallifrey1sburning

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy has never had trouble getting boyfriends. The problem is getting one that doesn’t leave him feeling cold after the first few months. He’s looking for something specific: passion, excitement, someone to keep him on his toes. He just doesn’t know how to go about finding it. After kicking his latest boyfriend to the curb, Draco’s at a loss for what to do next, until it occurs to him that a relationship with his fiery (and hot) Gryffindor colleague might not burn out so quickly—if he can just convince Harry to try it.

📻 Into the Unknown [M, 4.5k] 🖋️ Author: @drarrelie

🎵 Summary: It’s been echoing within him for months, like an annoying song that gets stuck in your head and refuses to let go. A nagging feeling in his core, telling him to say something, to do something, to go somewhere. Last night it finally happened. He did it. And it felt good; right. “I can’t be sure.” Four words, easy as that. It had been almost impossible to smother the sudden burst of joy rushing through him as that deep-seated urge rejoiced his unexpected act of rebellion. You’d think the Dark Lord’s punishment would’ve taken the exhilaration out of him, but no. Here he is, countless Crucios later, beaten and bruised, and never has the voice sounded this clear. He’s said something. He’s done something. And now he just has to go somewhere. He has no idea where, but he’s certain it will come to him. All he has to do is get out of here, then trust magic to do the rest.

📻 Home is What We Make of It [M, 20.3k] 🖋️ Author: @monsieur-hadrien

🎵 Summary: "There was a blistering draft from the child’s bedroom on the opposite side of the hallway. The door’s handle was icy to the touch as she wrapped her hand around the metal. Unlike the rest of the house, the door gave her resistance in her effort to open it. Unlike the rest of the house, when she opened the door, she couldn’t imagine anyone ever living there. Unlike the rest of the house, there was neither love nor warmth nor any semblance of life that seeped from the rest of the house’s walls. It was cold and hard and chilled her to her bones. She shivered. However, her sense of dread was not just from the cold. Perhaps it was the gaping hole in the wall." Harry and Draco want to start a family, but time loves parallels.

📻 Move, move [M, 9k] 🖋️ Author: @maesterchill

🎵 Summary: She grabbed Harry’s hand, slipping something small into it and pressing his fingers around it. “Dilectio. It’ll cheer you up. Make you feel like dancing.” Harry gaped at her. Drugs. Ginny’s fucking giving me drugs? At Stasis nightclub Ginny does indeed give Harry drugs. But it's all good: Malfoy looks after Harry, and Harry grapples with newfound enlightenments, not to mention a newfound fascination with all things Malfoy—one which persists, even when he finds out what Malfoy's up to.

📻 Euphoria [E, 66k] 🖋️ Author: @iero0

🎵 Summary: Driven by trauma, Harry cuts ties with friends and family. From crowded nightclubs and enthralling live shows, Harry finds himself stumbling into a superficial world where he's lonelier than ever. When even the constant blithe of substance-induced highs can't prevent things from becoming what he ran away from, Draco Malfoy finds Harry. Draco, who’s wearing Muggle jeans and who’s listening to Muggle music and who suggests having a nice little chat on mephedrone. And whose nose crumples beautifully when he laughs. Or: A story about Harry trying to cope with the help of drugs until he finds a new addiction. Draco likes to mend things.

📻 Your House [E, 2.9k] 🖋️ Author: @tontonguetonks

🎵 Summary: Draco tries to serve Harry divorce papers, but Harry isn't home.

📻 Misery Loves Company [E, 22.9k] 🖋️ Author: vivi1138 / @penguinanimagus

🎵 Summary: Stuck in his own head, misunderstood and lonely, Harry would love nothing more than to stay hidden in Grimmauld Place until the end of time. Malfoy won’t let him, and that's just what Harry needs.

📻 You Sexy Thing [E, 10.6k] 🖋️ Author: shortie990

🎵 Summary: As Harry began to tap his foot along to the music, the lights flashed like lightning in the middle of a summer storm, and his eye went straight to the middle of the dance floor. His eyes zoomed in on Draco. The blond looked striking as he moved his slender hips to the soulful beat. Harry watched, captivated as he pressed himself up to Pansy and began to sing to the song.

📻 A Love Story of Less-Than-Epic Proportions [E, 39k] 🖋️ Author: InnerLilith

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco are just friends. Sure, they work together, and live together, and go to gigs together, and do pretty much everything else together—so what? That’s just what friends do. And Harry has no interest in messing with their friendship. He certainly doesn’t need everyone else constantly meddling, pestering them to just get on with it and get together already. He’s having a hard enough time as it is, trying to come to terms with the fact that he probably isn’t ever going to find love. But who needs love, anyways, when you’ve got a best friend?

📻 Cup of tea, Love? [E, 15.1k] 🖋️ Author: shushu_yaoi_lj / @orange-peony 

🎵 Summary: Things between them are easy, so much easier than Harry expected. The problem is the outside world, which grows increasingly and ridiculously difficult. “We could leave,” Draco suggests. Harry has always wanted to travel.

📻 holemate [E, 18.9k] 🖋️ Author:  @vukovich

🎵 Summary: 'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates So where do we begin? I can finally see you're as fucked up as me So how do we win?

📻 Home is Wherever I’m With You [Gen, 2.6k] 🖋️ Author: persephoneapple

🎵 Summary: Harry plans on proposing to Draco tonight, but it takes a Prophet article and a conversation between Draco and Pansy to realise how much Draco means to him.

📻 When the remembering is done [E, 24.8k] 🖋️ Author: Sassy3 / @sassy-sassy3

🎵 Summary: “–and we’ll make sure that you can stay at home as long as possible before it will be too hard to manage,” Potter finished. Draco could only blink, trying to make sense of the words he had heard before and after he zoned out. He cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m sorry, Potter. Why wouldn’t she be able to live at home?” Draco Malfoy leads a quiet life. Sure, he doesn’t really like his job, and he never imagined he’d have to move back in with his parents at the manor, but at least he has his lovely son Scorpius to dote on. The only problem is that it gets… a bit lonely. But when his mother starts behaving strange and forgetful, he finds himself in need of help from the one person he never reconciled with after the war.

📻 If you smile at me again, I may do something stupid [M, 6.9k] 🖋️ Author: @emilattes

🎵 Summary: Draco made his peace with Harry Potter and their failed relationship two years ago. He's happy with his new boyfriend, but when Harry becomes the man Draco needed him to be, he finds it's much harder to ignore their history.

📻 smoke break [E, 4.3k] 🖋️ Author: saltwatergarden / @talkingtravesties

🎵 Summary: The first few times, they hovered a bit; Draco offered wine and they sat there and sipped and made small talk, until finally Potter would snap and say, “this is stupid,” and reach out to pull Draco into a kiss. After a while, they fell into a rhythm. Sometimes Potter would be in a rush, and he’d just throw himself at Draco the second he was through the door. Other times, he seemed intent on torturing Draco with his slow and teasing kisses. Potter rarely stayed the night, typically Flooing home after they were done, and they never went out, or, for that matter, met at Potter’s place. Draco was very aware of what he was to Potter—a convenience—and despite his pride, he accepted it, because he knew it was the most he was ever going to get from Potter, and far more than he deserved.

📻 4th Day of the New Show [M, 6.2k] 🖋️ Author: @meandminniemcg

🎵 Summary: Lucius, freshly released from Azkaban, shows up at Draco's show. And Harry has been nervous all day. How does Draco handle the situation?

📻 I Want More? [E, 10.7k] 🖋️ Author: @drarryismymuse

🎵 Summary: Draco had successfully avoided British wizarding society for eight years, until necessity drove him to attend a swanky Ministry event. A chance encounter at that event sparks a passionate affair that just might change the course of Draco’s entire life.

📻 Until It All Comes Undone [E, 38.5k] 🖋️ Author: @mystickitten42 

🎵 Summary: Following his confrontation with Voldemort, Harry returns from King’s Cross Station completely changed. He wakes up at Privet Drive with no memory of his past, the war or magic. Petunia, widowed and suffering from empty nest syndrome, is only too happy to turn Harry into Dudley 2.0. But something’s not quite right. Plagued by recurring nightmares, Harry can’t help but feel something is missing. A bottle of his cousin’s LSD helps him to forget his worries… Magic may not be real, but the hallucinations and the hot blond he meets all feel pretty magical to Harry. Having turned his back on his family, Draco is determined to start over and do the right thing. But he’s never made good decisions when it comes to Harry Potter. When Potter—presumed dead, but very much alive—unexpectedly returns, Draco will do anything for a second chance. Even if it means pretending not to know who he is…

📻 When the Day Met the Night [M, 5.7k] 🖋️ Author: Albuss

🎵 Summary: When the day met the night, all was golden in the sky. In the middle of summer. The Battle of Hogwarts is through, and Harry, somehow, isn't. Draco isn't either. In rebellion against all they have endured, the two embark on a summer of adventure, seeking an ember of hope in the darkness. What they find is unforgettable.

📻 Born to Drown [M, 3.2k] 🖋️ Author: @floydig

🎵 Summary: Draco drives a Knight Bus in the slums of Paris. Sometimes his passengers remind him of Harry. But Harry left years ago. Now, Harry is married to Ginny, and Draco drives a bus. You laugh. “Sorry, I don't know why I’m laughing. It’s really not funny—your dad being dead and shrivelled.” “Fuck off.” I turn to face you. Your eyes are red, your pupils almost blown. Your skin is grey-tinged and sallow, and you're not the one who’s dead. “Merlin, Potter,” I say, hoarse. “How much bloody Dreamless did you shoot up this time?” “Enough for me to live.” You grin wide. “You want me to be alive, don’t you?” Your raw-bitten lips, your chipped teeth, your fucking mouth. I hate all of them, but really I don’t.

📻 Stop And Stare [T, 36.5k] 🖋️ Author: devilishcries

🎵 Summary: After surviving your everyday war-torn childhood, Harry had found a constant rhythm to his life. The thing is, he didn't quite like it. It was repetitive, dull, and he badly wanted to switch it up. So, when he stumbled upon Draco Malfoy on the verge of committing arson in a muggle library, he proposed a deal neither could refuse. (Well, Malfoy was desperately trying to refuse it. But that wasn't the point!) What he failed to factor in was how pretty Malfoy's hands were. One thing led to another, and suddenly, he was obsessed with the idea of holding them.

📻 Wicked Game [E, 20.9k] 🖋️ Author: @cassiopeiasshadow

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco fall into a spring that allows them to enter into each other’s dreams - but Harry doesn’t quite understand what’s happening, not at first. Why does he keep seeing Draco having kinky sex with a dream version of Harry? And furthermore, why does he like it? Morpheus’ tail twitched irritably. “I warned you away from the poppies. The blame lies with you.” “Me? Potter’s to blame for this, he’s the one who dragged me out to this miserable -” “You would do well not to insult the home of those whom you ask for help,” said Morpheus coolly, though Harry saw a bit of detached amusement in his expression. Malfoy had no self awareness. It’s adorable how stupid he is, Harry thought, and then caught himself thinking Malfoy was adorable and became deeply troubled. “I’m…” Malfoy closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “Sorry. Please - I need advice. I can’t keep him out of my dreams.”

📻 Dedication and Desperation [T, 6.1k] 🖋️ Author: meditationsinemergencies / @meditationswrites

🎵 Summary: Diagnosed with a rare and serious illness, Draco has mostly given up until Harry comes to visit.

📻 Famous [E, 23.9k] 🖋️ Author: fwooshy / @fw00shy

🎵 Summary: It's a couple of years after the war, and Harry's bored of models now, the same way he's bored of Ron's constant nagging, bored of his Weasley monogram knitwear, bored of the same fucking grin that greets him when he hands his fire-truck red Bugatti over to the valet every night. He wants to find—well, he isn't sure what he wants. Anything but models. Harry is in the mood for...messy. And Draco Malfoy's looking like a walking disaster in the making.

📻 stitched and sewn [E, 7.9k] 🖋️ Author: @wheezykat

🎵 Summary: Harry shudders, fingertips pulsing against Draco’s thighs. He can feel the sharp, metal edge of Harry’s wedding band digging into his flesh, knows he’ll have a bruise there in the morning, a small imperfection that only he’d be able to see. It’s one of the only marks he’ll vanish, not wanting to think about its implications; the rest he’ll keep for himself. Slowly, Harry relaxes, shoulders sinking, breaths changing their cadence to a new tempo. Resigned, surrendered to this dance they do.

📻 Watch the Castles Burn [E, 21.3k] 🖋️ Author: @moonflower-rose

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy knows better than to get involved with Harry Potter. If only someone would have reminded him of that six months sooner, then maybe he wouldn't be in quite such a large mess.

🎶 H/D Wireless Podfic 🎶

📻 Modern Love [E, 61k, 5h29m] 🎙️ Podficcer: @lastontheboat 🖋️ Author: tackytiger

🎵 tackytiger’s original summary: Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is. And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what’s he doing right, that Harry isn’t? Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years. And that’s what starts it all.

📻 [Podfic] How Can I Live Without You? [Gen, 2.2k, 15min 29sec] 🎙️ Podficcer: Static_Whisper 🖋️ Author: ununquadius

🎵 ununquadius’ original summary: After Draco's death, Harry wonders how can he live without the one he loves when he's so far away.

📻 [Podfic] Keep Holding On [M, 33.3k, 3hrs 37min] 🎙️ Podficcer: @thunder-of-dragons 🖋️ Author: gnarf

🎵 gnarf’s original summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget. Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on the request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state. Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry's newest grand idea to make everything worse. Making new allies, and losing old ones along the way, will hopefully be worth it in the end.

📻 [Podfic] Kill, Fuck, Marry [E, 12.7k, 1:27:55] 🎙️ Podficcer: @timothysboxers  🖋️ Author: lettersbyelise 

🎵 lettersbyelise’s original summary: Malfoy leans toward him with a baleful look. “I do believe Pansy Parkinson, my best friend, paid you to spend the evening with me. It’s my birthday, Potter. So you’re going to get off your Gryffindor arse, and you’re going to dance with me. I want to dance. I want to win. I want that bloody trophy on my shelf before the end of the night.” Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter.

📻 [Podfic] You Still Look Like a Movie / You Still Sound Like a Song [T, 3.2k, 19:43 min] 🎙️ Podficcer: bluedreaming / @blue--dreaming 🖋️ Author: shilo1364

🎵 shilo1364’s original summary: Harry Potter doesn't want to attend his ten-year Hogwarts Reunion Ball. He doesn't want to dance. And he *definitely* doesn't want to remember his former lover, Draco Malfoy. Of course, his life has never really been dictated by what he wants.

[i-put-the-leg-in-legolas]

Promise me- Legolas x Reader

Triggers: Insecurity about oneself, a LOT of crying

Summary: (Y/n), stricken by grief, lets her emotions loose, but Legolas doesn’t hesitate to comfort her and remind her how much she means to him.

❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

The crisp, autumn air hit (Y/n)'s face, causing the warm tears that were now rolling down her cheeks to dry. But even though those tears dried, it wasn't long until more took their place. Truth to be told, the girl was exhausted. Both physically and mentally.

Though they'd started as 10, the Fellowship, which she was part of, had now been broken down and reduced to 4. Boromir had died in the hands of orcs, Frodo and Sam had gone off to god-knows-where, Gandalf had sacrificed himself to save them from Balrog, and Merry and Pippin, the sweet little hobbits that made the seemingly endless adventure less insufferable, had been taken by orcs.

Now, she found herself crying while her back resting against the trunk of a tree and her chin resting on her knees. The remaining members of the Fellowship were at least 10 feet away from her, all fast asleep as the warmth of the fire kept them warm and protected from the cold. She thought about their situation, about where the four little hobbits were, and whether they were alive or not, and this only made her sob even harder.

Between her soft whimpers and her heaving, the rustling of leaves could be heard, but (Y/n) didn't pay it any mind, instead focusing on the thoughts that swarmed her head and made her heart ache. The soft sound of crunching leaves got closer and closer, and without her even noticing it, in a matter of seconds, a certain blond was standing in front of her.

"(Y/n)?" Legolas murmured in a soft tone. Upon not receiving anything other than a soft whimper as a response, the elf kneeled beside the (h/c) haired girl and placed a hand on her shoulder. "(Y/n), look at me... what's wrong, nîn tinu?"

Legolas's soft words only made the girl turn away from him, mumbling inaudible 'leave me alone's and 'go away's. The elf sighed at this and sat down beside her, gently holding her cheek with his pale hand and moving her face; so she was facing him. 

(Y/n)'s cheeks and nose were red, and so were her eyes. Legolas couldn't help but let his face soften as he noticed the state the woman he fancied was in. (Y/n) noticed the change in the elf's expression and immediately looked away, too embarrassed for him to see her in that state. 

"Don't look away from me, nîn bain, tell me what's on your mind," Legolas cooed, gently taking hold of (Y/n)'s both cheeks. As his fingertips caressed the soft, damp skin of her lips, the girl let out a sigh and lightly nuzzled her face into the elf's hands.

"I'm just worried, Leggy... what if the hobbits don't make it to Mountain Doom? And-and what if we never find Merry and Pippin? Or even worse, what if we find them when it's too late?" (Y/n) lamented. She'd tried to keep her weeping quiet earlier, but now, it had all become too much for her to handle. Legolas's soft palms on her face made her completely break down, and before she knew it, she was wailing.

Though slightly taken aback, Legolas immediately wrapped his arms around her and gently helped her to her feet. "Come on... we don't want the others to wake up," he murmured, planting a soft kiss on top of the girl's hair as he slowly walked her away from their sleeping companions.

After a few minutes, they got to a small clearing, and there, Legolas sat down on the ground and pulled (Y/n) into his lap. "I know you're scared, meleth... but trust me, I know this will all work out in the end," Legolas soothed, running his fingers through the girl's tangled locks.

"How?" (Y/n) questioned, "How can you possibly say that it will all work out in the end? We've already lost two members of the fellowship, orcs kidnapped the other two, and we don't know if Frodo and Sam are even alive, for Valar's sake!"

Though he was slightly fazed by (Y/n)'s outburst, Legolas held the girl even closer, letting her sob on his chest and weakly bang her fists against his back. "This isn't fair! Why didn't take me instead, Legolas?! why?!" the girl wailed.

"Gandalf could've helped so many people, and-and Sam! He wanted to get married and have a family, and Merry and Pippin... they were so young, Legolas, they still had so much to live for, so many experiences they hadn't, well, experienced yet! How could I forget Boromit... he would've been such a great king, he would've been a magnificent ruler!" (Y/n) cried.

"And Frodo... he had so much potential, he was smart, and-and such a great person..." after uttering those words, (Y/n) sighed and looked up at Legolas, who held her tightly in his arms, gently tucking a strand of her behind his ear before wiping away her tears.

"What I'm saying is... I think that it's unfair that they all went away instead of me... I mean, let's face it, Legolas. I'm just a healer! I'm not the heir to a throne, like Aragorn, or-or a prince like you," (Y/n) said, looking down at her lap. "And if I died, nobody would care... I don't have a family that would mourn me like the rest of you do..."

Legolas gasped at the girl's statement and immediately shook his head before looking down at her with a serious expression. "Don't ever say that, (Y/n)! You're worth just as much as everyone else in these fellowship, and I know you deny it, but you're extraordinary!" the elf stated, "You're beautiful, smart, and such a gentle soul... and I swear to Valar that if you ever left my mind, I'd go crazy, (Y/n)... my life has no meaning without you..."

Legolas's words only made (Y/n) tear up more, but between sobs, she managed to pull away from Legolas and tried to walk away, only for him to follow her, refusing to let go of her hand. "Stop this, Legolas! Stop it!" she shouted, snatching her hand away from the elf's grasp.

"Stop what, (Y/n)? All I want to do is help you, nîn meleth! I can't stand seeing you like this!" Legolas groaned, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Yes, he loved (Y/n) dearly, but he wasn't the best with emotions, and it frustrated him to see her that way and know that there possibly was no way he could help her.

"Stop giving me false hopes, making all those promises about how we'll start courting when all of this ends! Stop making me feel like the star of your eyes, Legolas!" (Y/n) bellowed, tears from anger and sorrow now soaking her cheeks. "If we make it out alive of this, you're just going to go off to your kingdom and find a beautiful elven maiden, I know it! Why would you want to stay with me, either way?! I'm not as slender and pretty as the elves, and I'm not even immortal like you are! I'm not the prettiest woman in Middle Earth, Legolas... hell, I'm not even close to being the prettiest of humans..."

Though throughout the whole ordeal Legolas tried his hardest to keep his emotions at bay, he couldn't help but shed a tear at (Y/n)'s words. He found it unimaginable how someone like her, someone so beautiful both inside and out, could think that she wasn't worthy of his love. In any case, it was he who was not worthy of her love.

By now, (Y/n) had fallen to her knees and was weakly crying into her hands. She'd almost ran out of tears, so she just heaved and desperately gasped for air, her chest aching with every dry sob that left her mouth. It was a tragic sight, to say the least.

"(Y/n), listen to me... my life has no meaning without you, and if I had to choose between enduring a painful and slow death but being able to spend the little time I have with you, or living forever without you by my side, I'd choose the first option without a doubt," Legolas sniffled, slowly approaching (Y/n) and gently rubbing her back. 

At first, the girl tried to resist the elf's caresses, but he didn't budge, so (Y/n) slowly leaned against his touch, her crying starting to mellow. "If I could, I'd take down all the stars in the sky and gift them to you... it would be unnecessary as your beauty surpasses that of every star, but if you wanted me to, I'd do it... I'd do anything for my queen, nîn meleth..."

(Y/n) turned around and tightly wrapped her arms around Legolas's neck, nuzzling her head on the crook of his neck. Her raggedy breath tickled the elf's neck, but he didn't care. Instead, he focused on whispering sweet and loving words into the girl's ear.

"I will always be here for you, no matter the situation, nîn tinu..." Legolas softly cooed, gently moving the healer's face, so she was facing him. (Y/n) looked like a complete mess, but in Legolas's eyes, she looked angelical as always. "Promise me something..." the elf whispered, tenderly leaning his forehead against (Y/N)'s.

"For you, Leggy, anything..." (Y/n) breathily said, sweetly brushing her fingertips against Legolas's nape.

"Please promise me that you'll never forget that I'll always be there for you. Even if life takes a cruel and unexpected turn and makes us part, I'll find a way to find you, and I'll never rest until I do it. After all, you're I Ithil ned nîn fuin, nîn maethor... you make my life worth living, (Y/n)..."

"Oh, Legolas... gen melin, nîn cundu..." (Y/n) whispered, staring into Legolas's cerulean eyes. As she stared into the prince's, she didn't see anything other than genuine love and admiration. For once in her life, she realized that maybe, just maybe, she wasn't as unattractive or boring as she thought. Legolas's eyes and words were so convincing that for the first time in her life, she felt like she belonged, she felt like she was valued. Maybe the prince's words, which she had brushed off as lies for so long, were the truth.

"I love you too, my queen... I adore you with my whole being."

Elvish Translations

Nin tinu- my star

Nin bain- my beautiful

Meleth- love

I Ithil ned nîn fuin- the moon in my night

Nîn maethor- my warrior

Gen melin- I love you

Nîn cundu- my prince

[alphascorpiixx]

Another Dream

KHUX Week Day 7

You return to Daybreak Town as darkness spreads across the world.

Ao3

Characters: Player, Chirithy, Ephemer, Nightmare Chirithy

Gen, 2427 words, written before last update, second person pov

Warnings: death mention, drowning

Shadows play on the copper wirings inside the cables. Your adventures in the data worlds are over, the darkness banished and Candy Kingdom saved from destruction. The tunnel echoes with the metallic clack of your footsteps. You carry your Keyblade in your hand, ready for any remaining Heartless lurking in the shadows. The data worlds may be safe, but the Darkling’s presence still uneases you. Who could be their real target?

So wrapped up in your thoughts you are that you almost miss the brief flicker of the cable lights. You stop and look around. No Heartless appear, but the shadows loom on all sides. Something stutters in your peripheral vision, like the edges of the world are being pulled apart.

You pick up your pace.

The tunnel ends at a point of light. The portal back to Daybreak Town ripples with bursts of static. This isn’t right, it should have stabilized since you cleared out all the bugs. The glitched gateway twists and contorts more violently than before, at risk of closing any second. You sprint the last few steps.

You emerge where you and Ephemer started in the clocktower’s computer room. You catch your breath and look around, expecting Ephemer and the others to greet you. But the room is empty. The monitors, once displaying glimpses of all the various worlds, reflect you on their dark screens.

“Ephemer?” you call out.

Chirithy pops up beside you. “They’re probably in the Foretellers’ room. Let’s go report back.”

You leave the computer room and take the elevator down. Chirithy sits at your feet, and you rub your arms. The air in the clocktower is so cold, like something leached away all the warmth. 

The ride is silent, save for the clicking of the giant gears. You cast a sideways glance at Chirithy. “How do you know where that is?”

“I—uh.” Chirithy’s ears curl in, and they won’t meet your gaze.

“I know I’ve been here before, in the memories you’ve been suppressing.”

“I didn’t—”

“It’s okay.” You bend down and rub Chirithy’s head. “I know you just want to protect me. But I can protect myself, too.” You give Chirithy a soft smile, and they press their nose against your leg. “You’re my friend, and friends don’t keep secrets from each other.”

“I know,” they murmur against your calf.

You give their head one last pet and straighten up. After a few minutes, the gears click into place, and the elevator shudders to a stop. You hurry to the Foretellers’ room, shove the door open, and find the remains of a battle.

The stained glass window is smashed, and the grand table is splintered into pieces. Books strewn on the floor, their pages torn and scattered. Shattered vials, broken chairs. In the chaos, you almost don’t notice Ephemer leaning against a toppled bookshelf.

“Ephemer!” You run to his side. His jaw is bruised, and he gives you a lopsided grin.

“Hey, you made it back all right. Everything go okay?”

“Me? What happened to you?” You cast a Cure spell, and a soft green light washes over Ephemer. He closes his eyes for a second and exhales. You help him to his feet, and he explains as you two head to the elevator. 

“We were attacked by a creature, calls itself Darkness. It had possessed Ven to get inside this world, and then came after the rest of us. It escaped out the window,” he nods to the remains of the glass, “so Brain and Lauriam chased after it. Skuld’s looking after Ven, and that’s about it.” He gives a dry laugh. “Usual stuff.”

Your mind reels with questions, but Ephemer grimances and rubs his side. Questions can wait. 

The two of you make it to the elevator when the walls glitch. Black tendrils spread over the gears and extinguish the lights. They twist and surge, something between smoke and shadow.

“It’s back,” Ephemer whispers. He pushes you toward the exit. “Go! You have to get out of here!”

“Not without you!” You reach out, but the shadows separate the two of you. A flash of light accompanies his Keyblade summon, but it’s not enough to break through the darkness.

“Ephemer!” you shout, but the storm swallows your words. You throw your arm in front of your face. The shadows coalesce into something vaguely humanoid. A Darkling?

It advances toward you. You summon Starlight and draw on your lux reserves. A familiar burn runs through your veins as lux dances around your body. Walking through the clocktower’s halls sparked something in your mind. Memories swirl in your head—pouring rain, a muddy battlefield, the burning light at your fingertips—but you push them away. You want to remember, but you can’t be distracted now, with the darkness bearing down.

“It’s you,” the figure in the dark says. “The last of the Dandelions.”

“What did you do to Ephemer?” you demand. Your body glows like a star against the dark.

“He’s lost now. Adrift like the others.”

No. He can’t be. 

You blaze up the room with a Firaga spell, but it doesn’t burn away the darkness. Tendrils rise out of the floor and slice at your face. You hit them away with your Keyblade and lunge at the figure in the shadows.

They shy just out of your reach. “This fake world is nearing its end. You may have survived the end of the world once, but I wonder if fate will bless you a second time?”

Shadows gather at your feet, restraining you to the floor. The tendrils cling to your body and force you to your knees. You can’t raise your Keyblade, and the last of you lux snuffs out. Someone calls your name. Chirithy, still by your side. 

“No! You can’t take my friend!” Chirithy cries.

The Darkness lashes out at Chirithy before they can flee. Shadows bind their little body, and pain strikes your heart. 

You scream, and everything goes dark.

*

“Hey.”

You blink. Sunlight fills your eyes.

“Get up.”

Your back is wet. You roll your head to the side and see you’re lying on a shallow ocean that stretches out to eternity. Your eyelids close again. You can’t find the energy to stand up. The sea is so peaceful, and you just want to sink beneath the surface.

“Hey. You’re not dying here. So get up.”

A paw prods your ribs. You grit your teeth and force yourself to stand up. Water ripples at your feet, but you remain standing on the surface.

You finally see the speaker, and your hand extends for your Keyblade. But nothing comes, and the Nightmare tilts their head.

“What are you trying to do? You don’t have any power here, you know.” Red eyes stare at you from an emotionless face. You remember when that face transformed into a monster bent on your destruction.

“I defeated you. What are you doing here?”

“I’m still bound to you, unfortunately. And then you went and died like an idiot fighting the Darkness, so I found what’s left of your heart and brought you here.”

“I’m—” Your heart stutters, and you can’t finish your thought. You look down and notice yourself in the water’s reflection. You’re barely a figment, a translucent form as fleeting as the clouds above your head. You hold your hand in front of your face and see sunlight pass through. 

“Oh, and I couldn’t save your body. Sorry,” the Nightmare adds, almost as an afterthought. You drop your hand to your side and look back at them. They haven’t made a move, but you long for the heft of the Keyblade in your grip.

“Where am I?” you ask, trying to keep your voice steady. “And where is my Chirithy?”

“So I guess I’m not good enough for you?” they grumble. They turn away and look up at the sky. “This is called the Final World, where fallen hearts go when they can’t move on. And like I said, you’re dead, so your Chirithy’s gone, too.” They look back and see your stricken expression and roll their eyes. “Your other Chirithy is still around. Wielders and their Dream Eaters are not separated so easily. They still exist as part of your heart.”

The Nightmare’s words bring relief. You’re still wary of their intentions, but you press your hand to your chest and feel your heart stir. In this world you have no Spirit or Dream Eater materials to give Chirithy a new form, but you take comfort in the knowledge they are still with you.

You walk around this empty world, water splashing with every step. “Ephemer and Skuld are in trouble. I need to get back to Daybreak Town. How do I leave here?”

The Nightmare skips behind you. “I dunno, I just saved you from passing on. You’ll have to figure the rest out yourself.”

“You could still help me. If you’re a part of me, you can’t go back to the real world either.”

“Actually, I can.” And without another word, the Nightmare flips into the air and vanishes. You wait for them to return, but they don’t. 

*

In this world you can’t even tell how much time passes. You walk on and on but never come to any shore, only endless ocean and sky.

You stop and sit down. The memories that overwhelmed you before now feel like an age ago. You remember the war between the unions and your own battles against the Foretellers. In your incomplete state, every emotion is dull and hollow. You should be angry. You should scream and rage and mourn the loss of Chirithy and the unknown fate of your friends. You bite back a hollow laugh. These are the memories you longed to recall, flashes of a battlefield strewn with broken keys, and they barely stir any shadow of grief.

You press your forehead to your knees and stare at the water. The ocean reflects the eternal sky, a mimicry of Daybreak Town’s seaside. The ocean of your home was a living thing, mostly calm but rising like a wild beast in the occasional storms. The sunlit surface rippled green and blue, never a single color and always hiding secrets in its depths. This world, despite the reflection of the sun, is stagnant. A mirror to hold lost hearts, not a sustainer of life.

But it might still hold its own secrets.

You place your hand on the surface, and your fingers disappear under the water. So there is something lurking under the ocean. You push your hand down. The water comes to your wrist, and you can’t see past the reflection. Your hand meets no resistance as in sinks deeper.

Sink down and down and—

You stand up. Ripples disrupt the reflection. You lift your head to the sun and close your eyes.

Then you fall backward. Water crashes around your body and closes over your head. Your eyes blink against the pressure. Bubbles race past your face and disappear into the blurry sunlight. That light’s warmth fades the further you fall, until the last trace of the surface vanishes and leaves you cold.

You sink.

Down.

And.

Down.

The weight of the ocean presses against your body, and your chest begins to ache. Air bubbles escape your lips, and your lungs seize up. You scramble for something to cling to, but there’s nothing but water.

“You’re finding all sorts of new ways to die, huh?” The Nightmare’s voice enters your mind, undisturbed by the water bearing down on you.

Help me, please.

“You got yourself into this mess. Why should I help you?”

Because you’re part of me. You reach out with your mind for the Nightmare’s presence. You feel them at the edge of your awareness. You know the truth of your words, and so do they. No matter where they go, they are part of you and you will find them. And if I pass on so will you.

The Nightmare doesn’t answer. You gulp for air but swallow water instead. As your arms flail and you sink into the depths, you realize the Nightmare was wrong earlier. You couldn’t be dead because of how hard you are fighting to live.

Something solid brushes your hand. You reach out and grab fur. You wrap your arms around the body of a beast and let it carry you back to the light. Your head breaks the surface, and you gasp in air. The creature drags you to the shallows, and you fall onto the sand of a dark shore, coughing up a lungful of water.

Nightmare Chirithy settles beside you, still in their beast form. Their fur dries unnaturally quick. You lie on the sand and let the waves wash over your legs.

“Where are we now?” you murmur. The black sky reminds you of the corridors of darkness you’d often travel within to fight Heartless. But the shore is empty of monsters, and the shadows don’t writhe.

“The Realm of Darkness,” they state. You sigh. “Well, at least you’re not dead anymore,” they add, and you raise your eyebrow at the touch of optimism. 

“So if I’m not dead but I made it here, am I part of the darkness now? Am I going to turn into a Darkling?” The possibility doesn’t scare as much as it would have before. A creature of darkness is the reason why you lost yourself in the first place, but another one saved you from the abyss.

They shrug. “I guess you’ll find out eventually.”

The Nightmare’s body contorts and transforms back into their usual form. They fix their red eyes on the sea, and you can’t help but think of your other Dream Eater. In the faint light of the distant sun, you almost convince yourself it’s you and them sitting on the hill watching the sunset.

You muster the energy to sit up. “We’ll have to help each other now, if we want to get out of this.”

Nightmare Chirithy huffs. “You’re the one who got us here. And I’m not doing this for you.”

“I know.” 

You place your hand on their head. Chirithy tenses for a second but relaxes as you scratch their ears. They lean into your side. Eventually you’ll have to find a way out of this realm and look for Ephemer. You know in your heart he isn’t gone, and you hold onto the certainty that you will meet again.

But for now the two of you listen to the slow hush of the waves.

[deans-baby-momma]

The Padackles Link-Chapter 53

A/N: Having to post from my phone because my laptop is froze so if this look weird, I'm sorry. I don't even know if the tags will work. ************************************* AUSTIN The warm water cascading down my face masks the tears as they escape my eyes. In the sanctuary of the bathroom, I could let all my insecurities and fear free. What had happened? Where had everything gone so wrong? I was at a complete loss. As I shampooed my hair I tried to think over the events of the day before. Yes I had been worried about showing up to JJ’s party, even after Jensen’s reassurances that I had nothing to worry about. He had even promised to leave early if I had felt unwelcome or out of place. None of those had happened though. The only discomfort was when Josh had shown up. Neither Jensen nor I had any inclination that Dani had began dating anyone, least of all, the doctor who delivered their daughter. After rinsing off, I turned the water off and stepped out into the bathroom. The sink still had his bottle of aftershave and cologne sitting to the side, his razor still thrown haphazardly into its container. All evidence that Jensen hadn’t packed everything. Maybe he was planning on returning to retrieve them later? I wrap my hair up in the towel and step to the sink. Wiping the condensation from the mirror, I look at my reflection. The face looking back at me is one I don’t recognize. My face is red and puffy; my eyes are swollen from crying, I’m sure and they just look devoid and bereft. There is no light in them; no life. I compare the woman looking back at me to the girl who, just a few years ago, had lost the love of her life and became a widow. The woman staring back at me is more disconsolate than that girl was. Shaking my head, I turn and get dressed to go check on my son. He was who I needed to worry about. He needed me, even if Jensen didn’t. Jackson was a helpless baby who needed a mother who could care for him, not a grief-stricken shell. Jackson and I head to the park to meet the Padalecki’s. I am looking forward to having some adult conversation and interactions, not a one-sided communication with an infant. Parking near the entrance, I grab the diaper bag and my purse from the front seat and exit the vehicle. Walking around to the other side, I grab for the handle to pull Jackson from his carseat when I hear my name being called. I look up to see Jared heading my way, a smile on his face. “Hey Jared,” I say as he approaches. “Glad you could make it. How’s little man?” Jared asks looking into the window at my little boy. “He’s fine. Just woke up from a nap not too long ago so he should enjoy this outing.” “How are you doing?” Jared inquired, his voice changing from the cheerful tone to a more somber one. I smile at the compassion and tenderness I hear in his words. He might be Jensen's co-star, best friend and pseudo-brother but if it hadn't been for Jared Padalecki, Jensen and I may not have survived the loss of one of our twins. I wonder now if his support and encouragement had been for naught. If Jensen and I were over and done, would I still be able to call the Padaleckis my friends? Jared helps me pull Jackson from the car and offers to carry the carseat over to where Gen is sitting on a bench in the shade. As we reach her, I notice a small smile on her face as she watches Jared and I interact. I can see that she is contemplating something but can’t for the life of me figure out what is going on in her head. I shake those thoughts away as I sit on the bench between them and watch as the Padalecki boys run and play on the playground, hoping that in a year or so, my son will be able to join and befriend them. DALLAS After changing out of his pajamas and brushing his teeth, Jensen strolled into the one room he knew he could find his mother, the kitchen. Donna Ackles loved to cook and bake and was always tinkering away, making some type of food in the kitchen. Jensen grabbed an empty mug from the cupboard and poured himself a cup of the black brew. “Good morning Jensen,” Donna said, not even looking up from whatever she was stirring on the stove. “Are you ready to tell me why you showed up last night? And don’t even tell me you missed us. We had just seen you at the party.” Jensen cringed. He knew his mom was correct. He couldn’t use the excuse that he had thought of because it had only been about five hours before he showed up that they were all together, celebrating his daughter’s birthday. After taking a sip of his coffee, Jensen sit the cup down and leaned his elbows onto the counter. “I just needed some space. Get my head on right.” “About what?” Donna inquired, curious as to what had her son so unsettled. She set the burner on low and turned to look at him. “Yesterday. The party. Danneel flaunting Josh…” “And you’re upset about that?” Donna asked confused. She knew Jensen was upset and hurt when he found out about his ex’s affair but she also knew he had moved on with Drea. Had had a son with the girl, so why did it bother him that Dani had also moved on. “You’re with Drea now. You two have a son. Do you expect Dani to just sit at home in that big house and raise your daughter? That she is not meant to meet someone new for herself?” Jensen looked at his mom, stunned. That wasn’t what this was about whatsoever. He didn’t care that Danneel had found someone new. It wasn’t his place to tell her when she could begin dating again. No, this was more about WHO she chose to date. Jensen proceeded to tell his mother this. “It’s not that she is dating again. I don’t care about that,” he said. “Just...it’s who she is seeing. Josh is the doctor who delivered JJ and conned Drea into dating in order to get the results of the paternity test. Danneel will always have a special place in my heart. She is the mother of my first born, my little girl. And I wish no harm or ill will toward her. I want her to be happy. But I feel as though she is trying to take a jab at Drea by dating her ex.” Jensen ran his hand down his face, relieved to get that off his chest. “What do you mean, ‘conned Drea into dating him’?” “He agreed to do the paternity test only if Drea went out with him. And she agreed. They went out for several months then suddenly he dumps her because she didn’t feel the same as he did.” Donna nods in understanding but then abruptly and tilted her head to the side. “So? People break up all the time. What’s the big deal?” “The big deal? The big deal is after everything Drea has been through in her life, she just shrugged off the fact that the person who unceremoniously ditched her was right there in her face.” “Okay whoa,” Donna said, putting her hand on Jensen’s. “Back up. What are you talking about? What is Drea’s story?” Jensen explained to his mom about Drea’s mother being diagnosed with cancer and passing away when Drea was a teenager and how she had been put into a group home; how she met and fell in love with Chad in that home and after they both aged out of the system, they were married and were beginning to start a life together when it all abruptly came to an end after Chad was killed. By the time Jensen was finished, both mother and son had tears running down their cheeks. Donna grabs them both a napkin and wipes her face before she confronts him. “Jensen Ross Ackles! Are you that naive? I know I raised you to be smarter than this.” Jensen looks at his mom, frozen. “What?” “Drea wasn’t upset about Josh being there, with Dani because she never cared for him. Sure they dated but for her that is all it was. She wasn’t ready to let go of her husband and move on, not with the doctor anyway.” Jensen looked down at the table and let his mom’s words run through his mind. Was his mom right? Had Drea not been ready to move on when she dated Josh? Jensen thought back over what Drea had told him about her relationship with the doctor. She had only agreed to go out with him to help Dani keep her infidelity a secret, to help his ex get the results of the paternity test that she had needed. Donna groaned and sighed. “My god. I can’t imagine what is going through her head. What do you think this looks like to her? You see your ex with someone else and you pack up and leave. She is probably thinking you are upset that Dani is moving on. Good lord, Jensen. You’ve really screwed the pooch on this one.” “No, Drea knows I love her. She knows….” but as Jensen goes to tell his mom that Drea knew why he left, he realizes the fact that he never did tell her what was bothering him. Drea had left him alone after he blew up and threw the glass against the wall. Jensen jumps up so fast, the chair he was sitting in rocked backwards and almost falls over. He sits his almost empty cup in the sink and kisses his mom’s cheek. “Thanks Ma.” Donna shakes her head as she watches her son rush out of the room. She grabs her phone from the counter and opens a new text message. To: Drea My son may be an idiot and does things without thinking but he loves you and that little boy immensely. Give him time and he’ll come around. Jensen throws his bags into the backseat of his truck and hops into the driver’s seat. “Please for the love of god, don’t let me be too late. Let me be able to fix this. I can’t lose her!” he chants out loud as he pulls out of his parents’ driveway and heads back toward Austin. Pulling into the garage, Jensen immediately notices Drea’s car isn’t parked in the usual spot. He looks into the rearview mirror to check the street as he cuts off the engine. Opening the door, his heart drops when he realizes Drea might have packed and left him. Took their son and abandoned the home they had built. He ran to Jackson bedroom and was relieved to see that the crib and bassinet and all the furniture was unmoved and the clothes were still folded in drawers and hanging in the closet. Jensen walks to their bedroom and is once again relieved to see the bed unmade and all of Drea’s belongings in their places. Maybe she just ran to the store, he thinks to himself and heads back to the kitchen to get something to drink and wait on her to return. He is more than ready to beg and plead for forgiveness. He will get down on his knees if he has to. Anything not to lose her and Jackson over his stupidity. AUSTIN Thomas Padalecki is one tenacious little boy. Nothing would make him happy until he was able to push Jackson in a swing. So I held my son on my lap in the wooden swing while Thomas pushed with all his little might. I snuck and helped him move us by pushing my toes into the sand underneath the play area. Jackson cooed and laughed, which in turn made Thomas feel as if he was doing an excellent job. I hear my phone begin ringing in the diaper bag so I stop the swing and hoist Jackson onto my hip. By the time I get to where my bag is sitting, Gen has pulled the phone out and is handing it to me. "It's Jensen." I roll my eyes as I hand Jackson over to her. Taking the phone, I answer the call and walk away from the bench for privacy. "Hello?" "Hey. Where are you? I came home to an empty house." Oh, so he does care! How thoughtful. "I'm out with Gen and Jared. I'll be back in a couple of hours." "Drea, I'm s--" he begins but I don't want to hear it so I interrupt. "Jay, save it. I said I'd be home in a couple of hours. Just don't disappear again, okay? We have a lot to discuss and I'd rather do it face to face." "I'll be here," he says and I can hear the apprehension and panic in his voice. "I love you." "Yea, love you too," I say and hang up. Turning back to the bench I can see Gen keeping Jackson entertained but trying to eavesdrop too. I know she isn't doing it to be nosy or intrusive, she actually cares about this situation. Our conversation last night proved just that. *FLASHBACK (the night before)* "I'm so confused, " I tell Gen. "I thought we were doing okay. Not even an actual argument about anything. We got along perfectly. Almost too perfect, ya know?" "What do you mean?" Gen had asked me, puzzled. "There are no perfect relationships, Gen. You know that. I mean, I'm sure you and Jared have had your share of disagreements." She nodded her agreement. "Jay and I...this is our first. We haven't argued since we've been together. Everything was just….too impeccable. I really should have seen this coming." I run my hand through my hair and sigh. "Do you know how we met?" "You were stranded on the side of the road with a flat and they stopped to help," Gen confirmed. "Yea, and if it hadn't been for the spare being flat I wouldn't've needed any help. Gen, until I met Jensen I was a strong independent woman who could take care of herself. I have no idea when that changed!" Gen placed her hand on top of mine on the table. "Drea, you are still a strong, independent woman. I have never heard you complain once about anything. From months of being alone while the guys are up in Vancouver filming to giving birth with no one there to support you! I don't know if I could have done that." "I had no control over that," I told her. "Jackson wasn't going to wait for his father to make the 6 hour flight." "See strong," Gen smiled. "You just took what was given to you in stride. You're my hero." "And you're full of it," I laugh. "But I am glad you are my friend. I've never really had a friend. Most of the kids in the group home were all snobs and only look out for themselves. 'Cept Chad. We both needed a friend and that's how we bonded." "I'm glad we are friends too, Drea. I care highly for you, kid. Jared and I both do." "Thanks Gen." After our heart to heart, Gen and I had decided to go to bed and sleep away this horrible day. *END FLASHBACK* After leaving the park, I took my time driving back to the house. I knew what needed to happen and what needed to be said but I was dreading it. Dreading the fight for what I wanted, the fight for what I needed. For myself and for my son. Pulling into the garage and seeing Jensen's truck parked in its usual spot caused the pit in my stomach to grow. Here goes nothing, I thought as I climbed out of the car and went to get Jackson out. Jensen doted on his son from the moment I sat the carseat on the counter. He unbuckled Jackson and pulled his from the restraints, kissing on him and telling his son how much he was missed. I sit the diaper bag beside the now empty seat and walked to the bedroom. I needed a few minutes and Jensen needed to spend time with Jackson; to realize what he was losing. I don't know how much time passed before Jensen joined me in the bedroom. "He was worn out. Went to sleep with no problems," Jensen told me as he approached me. He bent to kiss me but I stepped away. "Jay, we need to talk." ************************************* Tags: @lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @carryonmywaywardcaptain @darlingpeanut @sunskittlex @sis-tafics @wayward-gypsy @sea040561 @pretty-fortune @squirrelnotsam @death-unbecomes-you @sandlee44 @internationalmusicteacher @kricketc27 @natura1phenomenon @mannls @nickie-amore @spn-tw-37 @frozenhuntress67 @blacktithe7 @supernaturallymarvellous @thetardishasaquidditchpitch @sirod-30 @heyitscam99 @smoothdogsgirl @i-just-wanna-run-hell @paintballkid711 @closetspngirl @starfirerules @vickiq9761 @rainflowermoon @spnbaby-67 @flamencodiva @tiffany-leigh @drakelover78 @jessieray98 @81mysteriouslyme @travelingriversideblues-x @akshi8278 @keymology @topthis808

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

Family Matters

Summary: Gen has two brothers and father, and sometimes they act like it (Referenced miscarriage; spoiler for Thick as Thieves in the third part) 

It did not do to have favorites in families, but among the Minister of War’s sons, the consensus was (secretly) they were all most fond of Eugenides. Temenus knew Eugnides favored Stenides; it was hard not to favor Sten, and the two were alike in being different. Temenus himself enjoyed a closer relationship with their father, even if it was just by virtue of working for him.

The problem with loving someone like Eugenides, though, was that he was constantly in trouble. From the time they were children, and Gen even now was barely older than a child, he was antagonizing their aunts and cousins,  his sisters, his brothers, even their mother, and most of all their father.

Temenus was not often in the right place at the right time when it came to his younger brother. He heard of fights only after they had happened, he rounded corners  just in time to see Eugenides leap from a balcony. So it was only by chance, and the orders of general far higher up than Temenus himself, that he was at the Attolian border when the Magus of Sounis and the Thief of Eddis crossed through.

He was with the horses at the time, chatting with the groom on duty, when the camp started stirring. A guard, passing by, looking for the captain, called to him, “Temenus, it’s Eugenides!”

Temenus blinked. “He’s here?” he called to the guard, but the guard, one of his cousins, was already out of earshot.

He turned to the groom, who shrugged, and then followed to the guard to his captain. He quickly had to reroute to follow his captain to the commotion.

And it was, indeed, Eugenides. Temenus had only a moment to glimpse him, leaning against a scrawny little boy, looking slightly less for wear, before the captain ordered him to bring them horses.

Temenus did as he was told, but only has just started towards the groom again when the captain stopped him. He never took his eyes of Gen and his companions, but he didn't speak loud enough for them to hear when he said, "lieutenant. Get your own horse as well and take some men with you. They'll need an escort back to the Queen. I'll take care of the Attolians." 

Temenus didn't thank him, just nodded and moved about his business. He made sure to grab one cousin he knew quarreled with Eugenides out of fondness and not malice and a few other, more distant soldiers.

He returned quickly with the horses, brushed and saddled thanks to the groom's proactive thinking. They got the boy settled in a saddle but when their cousin went to haul Gen up, he nearly collapsed and the other boy started shouting.

Temenus, distracted from his own horse, handed his reins off and came over. "What's wrong?" He asked just as Aulus ordered a young soldier to get a blanket. "Look yourself," Aulus said to Temenus. "He's not doing well." Temenus took a closer look at his brother's face, pale and tight with pain, and nodded sharply. "I'll take him. We'll move quickly."

Temenus mounted his horse and the young soldier returned with the blanket. Aulus was gentle wrapping Gen up in it and then lifting him up to Temenus's waiting arms. Temenus settled Gen in front of him, keeping a steady hand on the reins and his arms steady around his brother. They were off before either of them spoke.

"Why are you here?" Gen asked. It was the first sign he had acknowledged his brother at all. "You're not supposed to be."

"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" Temenus said back.

"Go away," Gen said, but it was mumbled, almost slurred, and he was asleep (or unconscious, temenus wasn't sure) just a moment later.

He dismounted when they arrived and helped Gen down with him, but chaos was was quick in coming wherever Eugenides was involved. The court chartered, delighted in its gossip, the queen looked to him, and he could only shrug. He could not hear her and did not know what he could say anyway. He looked for the Minister of War, who would want to know, but found him in the crowd before he sent a soldier off to fetch him.

It was much later, after the chaos had been dead for hours, that Temenus sought his father out and found him in the library attached to Gen's room.

"You know," he said, not looking at the Minister directly. "If you keep stepping in to change my orders, there will be talk that you favor me."

He chanced a glance at the Minister, who only raised his eyebrows placidly. They both knew the only one who has ever accused him of playing was Temenus himself, in a grief-stricken, rage-induced shouting match shortly after his mother had died. It had been Temenus' sole outburst. He took after his father like that.

Temenus shook his head, smiling a little. "You knew then?"

"I had an idea," the Minister said. It was his turn to not look at Temenus. He studied the door behind which his youngest child lay. "That he might come home that way."

Temenus didn't finish aloud the Minister's thought. An exceedingly taciturn, practical man, it would have been embarrassing for them all to say the Minister had wanted Eugenides to return to a friendly face, to someone who would take care of him and bring him home.

Any eddisian would have done it. But only Temenus was a soldier who loves Gen as the Minister did.

"Lucky that," he said aloud instead, and the Minister nodded. *********

There were things that Stenides knew, by word of mouth, that happened at the castle. For example, he knew when the Thief of Eddis had been captured in Attolia. He heard, still anxiously, of the Thief's return and that his hand had not made the trip.

He never, though, learned of any news from his father. So when the letter came from the Minister of War that said only "Come quickly" Stenides went.

He came to the palace, frenzied with hushed conversations and war plans and mourning and anger. His cousin Crodes, grabbed him as he made his way to the library. He was on duty, apparently, as Queen’s messenger but stopped upon seeing Stenides.

“Have they warned you?” he asked, face soft with concern.

“I know what he’s lost,” Stenides said carefully. “And only that my father said to come.”

Crodes shook his head. “He’s up there with him now. The Queen just left. You’ll see.”

The Minister of War was pacing in the library, and Stenides braced himself. That his stoic father expressed any agitation, even in movement, was not a good sign. Stenides cleared his throat to announce himself, and his father looked up, entirely composed, and nodded in greeting.

“What’s wrong?” Stenides asked. It came out closer to a demand than he intended.

His father was still for a long moment. Then he said, words picked carefully, “It’s more than moping. He lays in his bed all day or he sits and stares out of his window. He doesn’t talk, he doesn’t smile. Sometimes I fear he might fling himself off a ledge”

“He lost his hand,” Stenides reminded him, as if any of them could forget. He was a little startled at how open his father was being. “He lost his lifestyle. Isn’t he allowed to mourn that?”

His father pressed his lips into a thin line, and Stenides shook his head. “I don’t know what I can do for him,” he warned his father.

His father nodded. He knew. “Just see him.”

So Stenides did.

Eugenides lay in bed, his back to the door. “Did you hear any of that?” Stenides asked lightly, teasing, because if he knew his brother, he knew he was an eavesdropper.

Eugenides didn’t say anything. Stenides sighed and plopped himself down on the bed. He nudged Eugenides to move, and he complied all too easily until Stenides was comfortable laying next to him.

After a long moment, Eugenides spoke. “Is the Minister of War,” he said, voice far more bitter than an acidly wicked Stenides would have preferred, “understand that a man with one hand would be as useless at watch making as he is at soldiering or thieving?”

“I think,” Stenides started. He rested a hand on Eugenides’ back; Gen flinched, but he didn’t push or pull away, so Stendines continued, pointed.  “I think that Father is far more concerned with your current well-being than he is with your skill-set.”

“Former skill-set,” Eugenides corrected. Gen let out a long sigh and rolled over at last. He shifted so he was pressed up against Stenides side, and Stenides shifted so his arm was around his little brother.

They lay in silence for a long while, and Stenides took the time to study his brother. He had shifted slowly, and he wasn’t complaining at all. His breath wasn’t labored, but it wasn’t easy either, and his brow stayed pinched, even with his eyes shut. Stenides rubbed his thumb across the crease, willing Gen to relax a little.

“Are you in much pain?” he whispered.

“I don’t want lethium,” Gen said back; his voice was hoarse instead of snappy. “And I don’t want Galen.”

“That wasn’t what I asked.”

Gen didn’t answer for a long time. His face was too pale, his hair, cut choppily, too short, and he was too quiet. There was reason for the Minister’s call.

Finally, Gen just nodded.

“I am sorry,” Stenides said. “For what they did to you.”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

It was like Gen was little again, snuggled up next Stenides, his only confidant apart from Helen, whispering secrets of whose earrings he had stolen, who he had fought that day (who had broken his ribs that once), where Grandfather had taken him. Those last ones were always hushed, furtive, because Grandfather had told Eugenides to tell no one. Stenides would have except that he was sure his mother already knew.

“What is it?” he asked.

Gen was quiet again and then he said, softly, “I don’t hate her. I think…I think I might love her.”

Stenides, thrown, slid a glance down at him. Gen smiled back, but it was bitter, self-depreciating. It wasn’t a smile of Gen’s he had ever seen and wasn’t one he was particularly fond of.

“See?” Gen said. “I can no longer be of any service to anyone, not even in matchmaking.”

They fell quiet again. Stenides rubbed his hand up and down Gen’s arm. He felt warm through his shirt sleeve, even though they had told Stenides his fever had broken weeks ago.

“Do you think,” Stenides ventured gently, “that we will not love you if you are not useful?”

Gen closed his eyes, and it was all the answer Stenides needed. He rolled onto his side, and tapped Gen’s chin.

“Look at me,” he said, and waited for Gen to open his eyes, to turn his face towards him. “There is nothing you could do—or not do—that would make us, any of us, love you any less. When you ripped up your enlistment papers, did Father suddenly stop caring for you? And even now our cousins walk this castle, angry on your behalf, concerned for your well-being. We do not love you because you are the Thief of Eddis and because you can steal anything. We love you because you’re you, Gen. And if you never leave this bed again, we would love you still, even—” he reached out and tapped Gen’s nose, the way he used to when they were little—“if it would grieve me to see you so unhappy the rest of your life.”

Gen almost sounded like his old self when he said, “You should have been a poet, not a watchmaker.”

Stenides laughed. “Insolent, incorrigible little whelp,” he said, swatting, softly, at his brother’s shoulder. He shook his head and added, “Speaking of.”

He dug into his pocket and tossed the watch onto the covers. “Newest one,” he said. “Just for you.”

Gen reached out and clasped the watch into his left hand. He smiled, and it was real and almost full, and that was a start.

*********

The Attolian court was abuzz with news—the theft of high Mede slave, the queen’s nearly renewed health, the rumor that the King had once bit the cook—but this was not what concerned Eddis’ Minister of War. He made his way to the King’s chambers where he found, as he always did, to his chagrin, he had to get through the King’s personal guards and attendants.

Once admitted, only with the King’s direct permission, he sat passively on the chair indicated and waited until the King said, “Oh, all right,” and shooed his remaining attendants and guards away.  

“I wanted to be alone anyway,” Eugenides said. He stressed the word alone.

The Minister of War just looked at him. He was taller, as he grew with each visit, broader, but he looked ragged underneath his pretenses, eyes strained, mouth pinched.

Without preamble, the Minister said, “Your Uncle who was Eddis lost both his sons in a week.”

“Stop,” Gen said. He had lifted his hand like he might cover his ears to keep from hearing.

“He grieved them every day until his dying breath, which, as you recall, was not long after. He was never the same.”

“Stop,” Gen insisted. His voice was black, hollow. Angry. “I will have you thrown out. Stop.”

“He did not grieve for his heir or his country,” The Minister of War leaned forward a little. “He had an heir still remaining to him. He grieved his children, whom he loved.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Gen’s face was stony, a passable imitation of his father.

The Minister sat back. “I have heard your news.”

“And you are here to what? Torment me?”

Abruptly, the Minister said, “We lost a child. Your mother and I.”

Gen picked a book and flung it. It whizzed by the Minister’s head and hit the wall behind him.

He continued, “A baby girl. Stenides was barely over a year, Penelope not yet born. We’d had names picked out, and we gave her hers and buried her in the same day. I thought your mother would never recover the loss. I… found myself struggling at times as well.”

“I don’t want to hear!” Gen said, voice a hoarse shout. “Shut up. Please.”

“I still catch myself thinking about her sometimes.” He raised his eyes to where Gen was standing in the room, chest heaving, his one hand clenched into a fist, the hook hanging by his side like it wanted to be clenched too.

“I thought,” Gen said, after a long moment to gather his composure, “that I had lived through all the worst parts of life already. And I am wrong.” His voice broke. “Why is it me they let live?” he asked desperately. “Why won’t he let me fall?”

“I don’t pretend to know the ways of the gods,” the Minister said. He stood and moved towards the King. The King, who was his youngest child, and young still, even though regency, marriage, (snatched fatherhood) had aged him.

The King didn’t look back at him. Only Gen.

“It hurts,” Gen said.

The Minister nodded.

Gen cried. He fell into his father’s arms and sobbed, heaving, gasping sobs. It was, the Minister suspected, the first time he’d let himself. The Minister held him, as he’d once held his own wife many years ago.

Better days would come soon.

[okkrist-blog]

DOGARA - NIGERIA BEING PAINTED RED WITH BLOOD

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parts of the country, saying Nigeria is now being painted red with blood. He spoke on a day that Senate President, Dr. Bukola Saraki, took a swipe at the government over the precarious security situation in the country. DOGARA According to him, the failure of government to protect the lives and property of Nigerians is a tragedy and an indictment on both the executive and the legislature. This is even as Plateau State Governor, Mr. Simon Lalong, disclosed, yesterday, that over 14,000 persons had been killed in Plateau and Benue states in the last few years by suspected herdsmen. Nigeria painted red with blood — Dogara Yesterday, Speaker of the House of Representatives, Yakubu Dogara, lamented the fact that the country was now being painted red with blood, following the killing of scores of people, including women and children, in Benue and Taraba states in particular and other parts of the country. In his address to lawmakers who resumed from recess, yesterday, Dogara frowned on the violence in Benue, Taraba, Kaduna, Rivers, Zamfara, and Adamawa states. He said: “Indeed, at no time in the recent past has the nation’s peace and unity been so vigorously and persistently challenged. This, however, is the real test for true leadership. “Our dear country is now being painted red with the blood of the innocents on account of unremitting bedlam callously promoted by cold-hearted merchants of death. “At these moments of intense outpouring of grief across the nation, it is important that we shun buck passing and accept responsibility for these wanton killings without which we will never find a solution to this evil.” Reacting to the ongoing fuel scarcity, Dogara said the green chamber felt betrayed by the executive, stressing that it was unfortunate that even with the cooperation the lawmakers gave to the executive in a bid to resolve the fuel crisis, the situation still persisted. “We expected that with the legislative cooperation given to the executive arm, to effect an increase in the fuel price from N87 per litre to N145, and based on their assurances, incidents of fuel scarcity would be a thing of the past. We were also assured that fuel subsidy had come to an end.” Senate ready for solutions — Saraki According to Saraki, the 8th Senate was prepared to help find solutions to assuage the hurt to affected parts, bring the perpetrators to justice and enthrone peace in all four corners of the country. In his welcome address to senators, who resumed from end-of-year recess yesterday, Saraki also warned the executive and the lawmakers against early politicking ahead of 2019, saying  it was too early to embark on that for governance not to be grounded. Saraki said: “Human life is sacred. We state without equivocation that Nigerian life must become sacred. When we fail in our duty to protect Nigerian lives, it is a tragedy and an indictment on us all. “We as the 8th Senate stand ready to help find solutions to assuage the hurt to affected parts, to bring the perpetrators to justice and to enthrone peace in all four corners of this country. “Let me state that the 8th Senate is disturbed by these unfortunate incidents, and we have been for some time. “We were concerned enough to have inaugurated the Ad-Hoc Committee on Security in November of last year. And so, it was that, with the shocking reports from Benue, Rivers and other places, the security committee members also cut short their recess to resume sitting, with a view to fast-tracking their investigations, in order to present an interim report for the Senate’s consideration immediately on resumption. “I really must commend the committee for its swift action in this regard; and I am happy to note that the interim report is ready for the consideration of this chamber. “We are a people-oriented Senate, and I believe I speak for us all when I pledge that we shall continue to demonstrate similar dedication to our duties this year, as worthy representatives of the people who voted us into office.” Stop politicking now ahead of 2019 — Saraki On early politicking ahead of 2019, Saraki said: “Going into the new year, I can only wish each and every one of us the best as we prepare for the task ahead. It is a crucial year. “As you all know, this, in all probability, will be the last productive year before we go into the 2019 electioneering period. Not only is there a need to up the ante in terms of productivity, it is important we keep our eyes on the big picture. “Let us not be caught in the political fray before due season. This is Nigeria’s time. Let us devote ourselves to her service. It is, therefore, imperative that we speed up consideration on the various bills on which legislative work remains outstanding, particularly economic bills.” Calling for similar attention are the other parts of the Petroleum Industry Bill (PIB) related bills still to be passed, namely: the Petroleum Industry Fiscal Bill and the Petroleum Host Community Bill. “It is my appeal to each and every one of us, that our legislative duty to Nigeria and her people, must be uppermost in our minds. We must not allow the upcoming 2019 elections to overshadow our work for the people that elected us – or distract us from that which we are mandated to do by the constitution and the trust reposed in us by the people. “This is my appeal: it is too early for 2019 politicking to override the legislative agenda and the larger work of governance. We have begun a good thing with the economic core of our agenda; let us see it to its proper conclusion. ‘’It would be most insensitive to the needs of the people of this country if we were to do otherwise. I am directing this appeal not only to us in the chamber but to the National Assembly as a whole, as well as to the Executive and, indeed, all political actors.” Saraki, who noted the suffering Nigerians passed through during the Christmas and New year celebration as a result of fuel scarcity, said:  “I am not unmindful of the sobering fact that the new year has met many citizens in a reflective mood. Many were on the queue for petrol; many households are grief-stricken. ‘’This mood of reflection is also one from which no lawmaker is immune; what affects one, affects all. When one part of the body is hurting, the whole body hurts, and this holds true for the entire nation. “We have all been witnesses to the hardships which many Nigerians experienced in the new year, stuck on fuel queues at petrol stations in many of our cities. ‘’It has been disheartening to see, especially during the festive period when Nigerians should have been enjoying carefree time with their loved ones, with enough petrol in their tanks to make that cherished journey to their various hometowns.” “Distinguished colleagues, the 8th Senate has continued its historic run, because by the end of 2017, we had passed 140 Bills over a period of 30 months. The landmark Economic Bills we passed, helped to propel the country’s emergence from recession, powering us upwards in the Ease of Doing Business Report. ‘’While the legislative feats of the year gone by shall go down in the annals of lawmaking in this country, what is also true is that we cannot lose momentum, nor can we afford to rest on our oars. “In conclusion, it bears reiterating that we cannot waste a moment of this year that rolls its boundless opportunities out for us.” Benue: Senate gives IGP 14 days to arrest perpetrators, sponsors This is even as the Senate, yesterday, gave the Inspector- General of Police, IGP, Ibrahim Idris, 14 days to arrest the perpetrators and sponsors of the killing in Benue State. According to the Senate, the IGP should aside arresting those behind the crime in Benue State, extend his searchlight to Zamfara, Kaduna, Plateau, Taraba, Adamawa, Edo, Enugu and other areas where crime had taken place, with a bid to bring them to book to serve as a deterrent to others. According to the Senate, the days of indifference complacency, negligence and impunity must come to an end. The upper chamber also resolved to convene, as a matter of utmost urgency, a national security summit that would help examine the recurring violence and mayhem visited on rural communities before they become an existential threat to national cohesion and survival. The summit would involve all the heads of security agencies at the federal level, governors, commissioners of police in the states and state chief judges. Reps summon Interior Minister, IGP, service chiefs, others Also, yesterday, the House of Reps members summoned Interior Minister, IGP, service chiefs and others. Members upon resumption after the 2017 Christmas break had roundly condemned the killings and also resolved to find solution to the incessant nightmare by way of oversight functions and enduring legislation. The resolution chiefly followed a motion titled “Need for the Federal Government to declare a state of emergency on security over spate of deadly attacks in the country by suspected herdsmen”, sponsored by Hon. Babatunde Kolawale (Ondo State) and a similar one moved by Hon. Dickson Tarkighin from Benue State. Consequently, the House set up a high-powered ad-hoc committee and mandated it to summon and interface with Minister of Interior, Gen. Abdulrahman Dambazau, the Inspector-General of Police, IGP, Ibrahim Idris and Service Chiefs to explain to the House the measures being put in place to forestall further attacks and loss of lives across the country. Declare Miyetti Allah terrorist group — CAN In a similar development, Christian Association of Nigeria, CAN, has demanded that Miyetti Allah Cattle Breeders Association be tagged a terrorist organisation as it, yesterday, accused the Muhammadu Buhari administration of pursuing an Islamist ideology based on hate against the tenets of the religion of Islam. The association at a press conference at the National Ecumenical Centre, Abuja, while rejecting the call for cattle colonies, also demanded the reorganisation of the leadership of security and educational institutions, saying nearly all of them were headed by Northern Muslims. CAN Secretary General, Rev. Musa Asake, who addressed the press conference, also drew attention to alleged acts of bias by security forces in their engagements with terrorist groups. Asake particularly cited an incident last month it said was confirmed by Air Force spokesman when Nigerian Air Force sent an Alpha Jet and an EC 135 attack Helicopter to fire “warning” shots at alleged Islamist militia attacking Christians in Numan, Adamawa State, but not to kill them. He alleged that the attack aircraft subsequently bombed neighbouring Christian villages, leaving 50 persons dead but only fired warning shots at the attackers. Frowning on the incapacity of the security forces, the CAN scribe demanded the resignation of the Inspector General of Police, Ibrahim Idris, who the body flayed for repeatedly describing attacks by Fulani herdsmen as communal attacks. He said:  “In December 2017, an Air Force spokes person confirmed that the Nigerian Air Force sent an Alpha Jet and an EC 135 attack Helicopter to fire “warning” shots at Islamist militia attacking Christians in Numan, Adamawa state, but not to kill them! The villagers were later to report that the Jet actually bombed the Christian villages resulting in the death of over 50 people, while, the Nigerian Air Force said it merely fired warning shots at the Islamist militia attacking the villagers. This is jihad as we cannot understand fired ‘warning shots’ in the narrative of this attack. “Under President Buhari, the murderous herdsmen enjoyed unprecedented protection and favoritism to the extent that the herdsmen treat Nigeria as a conquered territory. Rather than arrest and prosecute the Fulani herdsmen, security forces usually manned by Muslims from the North offer them protection as they unleash terror with impunity on the Nigerian people.” 14, 000 persons lost in Benue, Plateau — Lalong Meanwhile, governor of Plateau State, Mr. Simon Lalong, has disclosed that over 14,000 persons had in the last few years been killed by suspected herdsmen in Benue and Plateau states. He said the development called for concerted joint effort by both state governments to end the killings. The governor, who led a delegation of Plateau State’s Elders Advisory Council to Benue State to commiserate with the government and people of the state over the New Year day killings in Guma and Logo local government areas of the state, said the onslaught against the two brotherly states by herdsmen should be stopped in the greater interest of all. Represented by his Commissioner of Lands, Survey and Town Planning, Festus Fuater, the governor tendered a formal apology to the government and people of the state over his recent comments on the Benue killings. He said:  “We share in your pains and grief and we stand with you because we have also gone through this before and we know what it feels like. It is an onslaught against the people and we will overcome it. “In the last few years, each of both of our states had lost over 7,000 lives to the activities of herdsmen in our various local government areas, that is the more reason we must come together to find a solution to the killings.” Responding, Governor Samuel Ortom, who received the delegation, said he had earlier forgiven his colleague in Plateau State over the comment, stressing that the challenges being faced by both states should be a uniting factor for the governments and people of the two states. “I pray God to help us overcome the challenges we face because whatever effects Plateau state also affects us in Benue and they are beyond us. “I also apologize for my outburst over the comment made by my brother governor and I think that we need to get closer together now more than before and share ideas the more. “The fact of the matter is that the grazing law we enacted in Benue is to ensure peaceful coexistence among herdsmen and farmers and not targeted at chasing anyone away from the state.  It is a win win for everyone, livestock and crop farmers in the state alike.”

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