#i hope they find something in each other

[xiaeom]

two people who were discarded by their childhood friends

[eydilily]

would you bite the hand that feeds you?

[sunderwight]

Bingqiu AU where Luo Binghe's the chosen village sacrifice to the evil deity who lives up the mountain.

Normally the village sends maidens, but they've more or less run out of expendable girls of the right age and, ahem, "virtues". So of course Luo Binghe's early life bad luck kicks in. In the wake of his mother's death there's no one to really care about what happens to him, he's fairly pretty, and the village leaders decide that if they dress him up like a girl the teenaged homeless kid should pass well enough. And hey, y'know, he's probably got a hard life ahead for him anyway -- dying in a brothel of some venereal disease or on the streets of exposure or starvation. At least as a sacrifice, everyone else gets to benefit from his loss! And the kid will get added to a shrine and be remembered as a hero! If anything, he should be happy about this!

Binghe is not happy about this.

But he's also a skinny underfed nobody who is easily overpowered, dressed up like a bride, and tied to a post. So. Not much he can do but wait for the evil deity to come and do whatever horrible thing he's gonna do to him.

Meanwhile, Shen Yuan is pretty sure he's been isekai'd into the over-powered hero of some kind of supernatural adventure story? He's not totally sure because he doesn't recognize the setting, but the signs are there. He's got a shrine-like base of operations (though it seems to have become corrupted/ruined, probably he has to restore it somehow), he has a very resilient and handsome new body with spiritual energy of some kind flowing through him, and a very clearly magical sword. Plus lots of neat starter powers! Though it feels like he has other abilities that have been blocked somehow? Probably he has to level up in order to access them.

When he treks out of his "base" and finds what seems to be a distressed maiden, he takes it for his beginner hero mission. The girl claims that she's been doomed to be sacrificed to an evil god. That sounds a little above Shen Yuan's pay grade for dealing with, so he unties her and decides that they had better just get out of the whole region altogether. He already packed up anything useful from his base, anticipating he might get caught up in an adventure once he left, so they follow the river away from the settlement until they reach another one.

While they travel, Luo Binghe tells Shen Yuan about the cursed deity, Shen Qingqiu, who was cast out of the heavens for slaughtering one of his brethren and has apparently being do-who-knows what to maidens from the local village in exchange for his "protection" ever since. Sounds like a real asshole! And also mid-level boss type bad guy at least. Shen Yuan hopes he doesn't have to fight him, but he probably will.

Thank goodness he found Binghe, though! Clearly the helpful little sister type! He's definitely going to require her assistance if he's going to figure out how to navigate this world and level up his skills enough to take on a god.

[rejoiceinsilverlight]

thinking about super cousins post-season 2 and potential effects of being exposed to kryptonite so many times

[egophiliac]

What do you think of Rook's savanaclaw card? <333

I didn't get him (and I need to save my keys for Silver's birthday, sob) so I looked up his groovy, and I'm not over how incredibly dramatic and epic and cool it looks in direct contrast to the absolutely ridiculous context. just look at that dynamic action and his majestic sparkling tears and keep in mind that this is pretty much right after a bunch of characters have been dance battling for his soul.

and then even the actual moment of the groovy is just like

this is NOT a negative in the slightest, I love it all, this truly was an incredible update in so many ways

[blackkatdraws2]

I have a lot of leftover drawings in my gallery. [Blank Scripts AU]

[Content Warning: Images below contain Gore, Death, and Disturbing/Uncomfortable Imagery]

I find it a bit cute knowing they start out as crazy and then slowly settle into something calmer and relatively healthier after learning to adapt to each other's lust-turned-love. [Stanley did it first but hey :3]

[fluffle-writes]

In the weird core Au, is Yuu just a normal human or what?

Because I don’t doubt they would’ve passed out, out of primal fear when seeing everyone here.

As soon as they were somewhat getting used to Grim appearance, Crowley comes out and it makes it worse. At least depending on his appearance

At the same time it would be kinda hilarious to watch.

Yep! Yuu/the reader is just a normal human who's been whisked away or backroomsed to the Weirdcore TWST dimension lol - some parts of this AU is inspired by another Weirdcore AU I've seen actually! I can't remember where I read it - I'm pretty sure the writer stopped writing TWST stuff tho xP

If you've watched my Meeting With Vil video, you can see how the Weirdcore cast has to be a bit more careful around the resident human! They have a much more fragile psyche and body, so sights that would be fine for the Weirdcore guys may cause distress or injury for Yuu!

I feel like it'd be fun for all of the Weirdcore cast to be much larger than normal humans! But also, they'd be inconsistent - like reality warps around them. For example, Riddle looks very large when he's angry - but he can shrink down to an almost human size if he wants to come across as less intimidating.

As for Yuu encountering Grim and Crowley! I feel like being chased by Grim would be significantly more frightening for them - I'm still deliberating on how the Weirdcore beings of the world will react to a human though... Part of me wants to make them be perceived as baby otter levels of cuteness since the juxtaposition of these massive monsters cooing at Yuu seems like a fun thing to think about.

As for Crowley! Crowley will be imposing af I think - I'll probably give him more wings than Vil, as well as floating elements like Lilia (probably in the form of keys and mirrors since that seems to be a motif of his)

Yuu will probably be in some kinda state of shock during the prologue for sure, but humans are adaptable! They can eventually develop the vaguest sense of normalcy in the strange world they find themself in.

Weirdcore AU Masterlist Here!

[magicpiano]

AU where Tucker Foley (Danny Phantom) and Richie Foley (Static Shock) are cousins.

[mad-hunts]

rent:     for our muses to rent a motel/hotel room together.

whenever it came to flirting with someone, barton always tended to take a very subtle approach to it. the phrase 'slow and steady wins the race' as they say was actually quite true. so, the only overt move barton had made that showed he was directly interested in kat for a little while? it was asking her whether he could buy her some food and then doing so upon receiving the 'okay' right after he sat next to her. though it seemed like she hadn't drank any liquor yet that night... barton had to admit that their food at that bar was rather underrated, which is what he told kat.

then, upon taking that first bite of his own burger, he remembered exactly why. that was how barton eventually proceeded into engaging in small-talk with kat throughout the night before they eventually seemed to 'click.' it was at that moment that he started to flirt with her and asked her whether she was doing anything after leaving the bar. and seeing as that was met with a resounding 'no,' barton proposed they spend some more time together. though somewhere private to quote unquote 'see where thing's took them.'

which brings us to now, as barton came to the front desk of the reception of a hotel to rent them both a room. he looked back over at kat whilst he paid for it in advance. giving her a smile that matched that of the 'cat who caught the canary' was barton's next move. now, if it wasn't entirely clear before, he laid out his intentions bare for kat to see as he gently rested a hand on the small of her back on the way there.

barton immediately tossed off his shoes and cupped the other's cheek once they were inside; the tension that came with being attracted to her finally reaching a peak, ❝ mm, you know, i'd normally take the initiative right away and start kissing you... but wow. that terrible lighting back in the bar didn't give your beauty even nearly enough justice, ❞ a light chuckle left his mouth, then before he could stop himself. though some may have accused him of trying to 'butter kat up,' from his tone of voice, barton truly meant that. he merely looked into her eyes for a few beats before his lips collided with hers in a fervor.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Provider Discretion (LU in Healthcare)

(Lots of technical jargon in this one, lovelies, hope you don’t mind)

Something wasn’t right.

The patient herself was… okay. Mostly. She had called 911 because she’d had back pain that had just been getting worse, and she’d said she couldn’t even get around anymore.

Mo and Hyrule often exchanged a somewhat exasperated look when someone called an emergency line for something that had been an ongoing problem, but today this… was different. She just didn’t look well.

“I’m really sorry,” the patient apologized for the fourth time as Hyrule and Mo loaded the stretcher into the ambulance.

“It’s okay,” Hyrule quickly reassured her. His heart ached a little at how much this woman wanted to seem to shrink into oblivion. Even Mo, who, despite his big heart, often came across a little standoffish, had tried to make her smile multiple times. “This is what we’re here for.”

With a chief complaint of back pain, there wasn’t much to do outside of check vital signs. Mo could easily take this call. But Hyrule just… this felt wrong.

“Let’s get a 12-lead,” he said, already grabbing the cables for it while Mo got vitals. His partner didn’t argue, helping him place the leads in the right positions.

Vitals looked mostly fine. The patient’s blood pressure was high. She said she had a history of hypertension, so perhaps between that and her pain that would explain it. Though 180/98 did not make Hyrule particularly happy. But he couldn’t treat that.

The 12-lead showed normal sinus rhythm. Nothing wrong there. But something just didn’t feel right.

Grabbing the blood pressure cuff, Hyrule checked it again, but on the opposite side.

There was a discrepancy.

Hyrule and Mo looked at each other, eyebrows pinching. Mo took a manual on the left. Hyrule took a manual on the right.

They still didn’t match.

Feeling dread fill him, Hyrule told Mo, “I’m taking this call. Let’s get going. We don’t need lights but… just drive expediently, ok?”

The transport was blessedly uneventful. But the discrepancy remained. Her blood pressure was high, but higher on one side than the other. Coupling that with back pain…

Her aorta. Hyrule was worried about her aorta. The biggest artery in this woman’s entire body could getting ready to tear apart.

When Hyrule texted Warriors later, he got his answer.

Dissection. They rushed her to the OR. You pointing out the BP difference really tipped off the doc. Good catch.

Mo whistled. “Good thing she didn’t rupture in our truck.”

Hyrule blew out a breath. He was just thankful he trusted his gut.

XXX

The dispatch information had been for diabetic emergency. Fire had gotten there first, which Aurora was thankful for since she and Dawn were coming from the hospital and therefore farther away than if they’d responded from the station.

When they arrived, the house was a nightmare. The street was so narrow that the ambulance and fire truck blocked the road entirely, the stairs were so narrow Aurora felt like she had to squeeze her arms in just to climb up them, and the turns were so sharp she wasn’t sure how any kind of equipment could get up there. The patient was lying on his bed, altered, and unable to move.

According to the patient’s friend, he’d heard him fall and came up to check on him. He knew he was a diabetic and figured his blood glucose had to be low. Fire had already checked it, saying it was over two hundred. As the firefighter paramedic gave information to Aurora, he said, “He could be acting like this because of his sugar. Could be a stroke. We’re not sure.”

Honestly, Aurora couldn’t see the patient all that well from her vantage point. Dawn had already walked in and started assessing, they’d handed a reeves stretcher to the firemen, and they were working on loading him on to it. The girl went downstairs to prep the stretcher for their arrival. Once they managed to get the patient into the ambulance, Aurora stared.

This man’s entire right side of his face was noticeably drooping. He was moving his head a little to the left, eyes somewhat moving, pupils equal. Aurora quickly asked him to look at her, to follow her finger. While he could stare at her, he couldn’t track at all, and his eyes wouldn’t move to the right. He blinked once while attempting, and was only able to blink his left eye.

Who the hell thought this could be his sugar??

Once Dawn got in the truck, they were quick to get vitals and a 12-lead. He was hypertensive, all other vitals fine.

“We need to stroke alert this,” Aurora immediately said.

“But he was last seen normal three hours ago,” Dawn said uncertainly. “Isn’t that outside the window? Or is the window four hours now?”

“I think it’s four,” Aurora answered. “And it doesn’t matter either way. This is absolutely a neuro issue. Drive us hot, okay?”

Dawn nodded, heading to the front. She drove to the hospital with the lights and sirens on, allowing them a faster transport time, while Aurora called it in to the hospital. As they progressed, she tried to get the patient to follow commands, but he couldn’t. He held up his right arm but couldn’t hold his left up at all, and he still didn’t really track any movement.

When they arrived at the hospital, they were placed in a major room, transferring him quickly to the hospital bed. Warriors was charge that night, working on coordinating all the help they’d need for this patient. The ED physician entered, looking the patient over, and then turned to Aurora, asking, “So what makes you think he’s having a stroke?”

Aurora stopped in mid motion, looking at him with the most enraged and bewildered expression. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Why do you think he’s having a stroke?” The doctor repeated.

“What makes you think he isn’t?!” Aurora snapped, completely mind blown that this was even a debate. “His face is drooping so low it’s hitting the earth’s fucking crust, he’s altered, not tracking movement, blinking with one eye, down on one side, is hypertensive, and you’re asking why I—do you even know what a stroke is??”

“Let’s just alert it,” Warriors said calmly as he walked into the room, clearly sensing that the paramedic was about to explode. “It’ll get us a CT to rule it out.”

Aurora was fuming, and she stormed out before she could hear a response. Dawn tried to gently check on her, only to be subjected to her ranting for the next hour.

Later, Warriors texted Hyrule, who relayed the message. “You were right.”

“OF FUCKING COURSE I WAS!”

XXX

Legend wasn’t particularly a fan of working triage.

There were aspects of it that were exciting - he was the one to make first contact with patients who didn’t come in via ambulance, and he determined their acuity. But there was also a public relations aspect to it, a patience dealing with impatient people, a kindness and sympathy for those who were genuinely hurting or needing help but had to wait anyway. It was understandable, but public relations… was not Legend’s forte.

There was a reason he was put in triage, though.

It wasn’t always obvious, what was wrong with someone. But there were times when a patient just didn’t look right. Legend saw the man limp over, listened to him as he explained that he had some leg pain that had been going on for the last few days, how he thought maybe he’d strained a muscle but the pain hadn’t improved.

There were always signs to look out for. Little things, cues that something was off. The man looked resigned, reluctant; he clearly had been talked in to coming to the hospital, and he commented that his wife insisted on it. Legend saw the clothes he wore, heard the accent he spoke with, saw his muscles, and pieced together that he was probably a farmer.

Farmers never came to the hospital.

“We’ll get you back as soon as we can,” he finally said after completing his assessment. Usually, this patient would be low on the acuity scale—a muscle spasm or strain was not nearly as important as a heart attack, pneumonia, sepsis, strokes, traumas—but Legend made him a yellow rather than a green. Just to be sure.

That higher acuity score got him a room far faster. That faster room made a doctor assess him and notice that his left leg was bigger than his right. That doctor made sure he got an ultrasound of his leg, found clots in his leg. She also learned the man was short of breath sometimes, which his wife insisted was new, and got a CT scan.

Legend glanced at his chart later to see him being admitted. Confused and curious, he did some digging.

The man had a pulmonary embolism.

Huffing with a small smile of satisfaction, Legend closed out of the chart as another patient approached.

XXX

Time had to admit, he did not spend as much time assessing his patients as he should. His hours were stolen away in the OR, unpredictable and chaotic as his line of work was. So sometimes he didn’t get to round, sometimes he didn’t have a chance to walk in and chat with the patients and the nurses and the licensed independent providers who took charge of their care.

Today he was glad he did.

The patient was actually calm and pleasant, had little complaint of anything except for some lower back pain. In the world of uncomfortable hospital beds, it wasn’t a huge surprise.

But Time saw something. Some staining, bruising, around the patient’s groin. He peeked around their gown, turned them a little, and saw it.

Their groin was purple. He asked the nurse, who said they were told this had been baseline for a day or two, and that the independent providers over them had acknowledged the finding and moved on.

Time walked into the doc box where the providers were. “I want a CT abdomen for room 3. She’s got some bruising that’s concerning. Her H&H has been down trending steadily.”

“Her JP drains haven’t put out much,” the physician assistant noted, looking over the patient’s chart.

“She might have a retroperitoneal bleed,” Time pointed out. “Let’s just be sure.”

Years of education and even more years of experience had taught the trauma surgeon well. The war was especially humbling and educational. So when he got a text from the PA that the patient did indeed have a retroperitoneal, he wasn’t surprised. But he was disappointed that he had to be the one to notice it.

Sometimes, he supposed, it took the leader to point out the problem.

XXX

Four… didn’t like this.

Report had been bad enough. The day shift nurse spoke of how the patient had been previously septic and was recuperating well before her pressor demand had gone up during the day. She looked… not great. She was so edematous they were constantly changing the sheets underneath her arms because her body was leaking fluid from every inch of itself - they had dumped fluids into her over the last few days just to maintain her blood pressure. She was on a lasix drip to get her lot o pee off the fluid as best as possible, and her kidney function was… decent, but not great.

As Four assessed her, the clenching his chest only worsened. She was alert, oriented, a little miserable but trying to be in good spirits, bless her. She was peeing a decent amount, her pulses were present despite the swelling, her lung sounds were a little coarse but overall mostly clear. Her abdomen was soft and non-tender, her pupils were equal and reactive, and she didn’t have much complaint of pain aside from being sick of laying in bed, which Four could understand.

But still. This just… didn’t look great.

As the night progressed, the woman’s pressor need climbed. Four continued to increase epinephrine, increase norepinephrine. He tried not to increase the vasopressin too much as it had such a profound effect on vasoconstriction that it could cause necrosis. Also, the woman had a history of heart failure and had a pretty weak heart.

Four eventually went to the resident in charge of the patient for the night. “Hey. Can we maybe give 11 some albumin? She has plenty of fluid to give, but clearly it isn’t in her vasculature - she’s peeing ok but her pressure isn’t tolerating it. I feel like it could help.”

The resident shuffled on his feet uncertainly. “The surgeon really wants to make sure we can get this fluid off. I’d rather keep her negative and not give her more fluid, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that,” Four greed before continuing, “But albumin is only 250mL, and if it helps suck in the fluid that’s third spacing, it’ll still help. We’re dumping fluid in her through the pressors anyway.”

The resident continued to waffle, before the night attending asked, “She’s on vaso, right?”

“Yes.”

“Just go up on that.”

Four stared a moment longer, starting to doubt himself. He hadn’t been a nurse for long, and if an attending physician was saying this, then… it had to be true, right?

Sighing, he went back to the room and did as he was told. The patient’s blood pressure improved well enough, and the night progressed fine.

The next night was not as fine. At rounds, Four suggested that perhaps she should be lined for CRRT, a continuous dialysis that would allow for Four to control how much fluid they were pulling and would likely be better for the patient to tolerate. The night doctors shrugged, saying they’d mention it to the day team.

Again, the woman’s blood pressure was tanking. Again, Four had to increase pressors. Vaso had been turned down and was told to be left alone because the woman’s systemic vascular resistance was so high the attending was worried about her heart. (Four couldn’t help but feel a little bitter about it, because he knew that was going to happen)

This time, though, she went into atrial fibrillation as well. As Four called the resident and attending into the room, they deliberated the matter, muttering, “Maybe we should line her for CRRT.”

Four blinked. Stared. Was he… losing his mind?? Was he invisible? He’d suggested this earlier!

Ultimately, Four had managed to keep the patient stable enough so that it wasn’t needed. Ultimately, the shift ended uneventfully.

But when Four came back for his third night, he could hear the woman’s breathing from the door, he could hear how she was drowning in fluid because she couldn’t tolerate losing fluid but had too much for her lungs and heart to handle. The day team had lined her for CRRT, but her pressors were almost maxed out at their dosage, and she was so hypotensive that the renal nurse who had set up the machine was hesitant to start it up, saying it would further bottom out her pressure.

Tonight was different, though. Tonight, the provider in charge of making decisions and orders was a nurse practitioner, someone who was used to this unit. She walked in, saw the issues Four had seen, and she walked right back out, making a call.

Four struggled to keep the patient alive long enough for the ECMO team to arrive as the patient fell apart. He felt frustration boil his blood as he had to hand off her care after fighting for her, had to watch as the CV ICU nurse came in to take over while surgeons put large cannulas into the patient’s body to redirect blood flow around her heart so she could still perfuse her organs. He watched as they wheeled her out of the trauma ICU to go to the cardiac ICU where she would remain while on such extreme support, and he threw his pen on the desk, burying his face in his hands, fuming.

They should have listened to him.

[the-kipsabian]

wrestling fic writers!!

i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months

if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found

and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom

and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways

a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜

nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you

and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)

as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!

101 comment starters

ao3 floating comment box

kudos html

dont know how to comment? easy solutions

a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)

an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers

and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place

i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together

happy sharing and commenting 💜💜

[as-everlasting-as-the-sun]

drew the Apple Store Selfie™️

happy 15 years of dan and phil 💚💙🖤🩶

@amazingphil @danielhowell

[carefulfears]

hey babes :) i'd love to hear your input if you're so inclined: to this day i chew on the question how and who mulder would be after the show's finale. what would be his natural progression, a way to grow and be content? fatherhood sure, but would he ever be just that - not a seeker, finder, investigator ...? it's "all he's ever known" and scully's "put it in a book" in iwtb rings hollow to me, like a reduction; folding that complicated person into a tiny box, neat like that abhorrent house of hers in the revival. do either of them really know what's best for the other? duchovny said they'll always be out there searching, it's their purpose. many fans would disagree, would see them domesticated, give them their happy ending; how would that look for either of them? and how for them together? any thoughts? :)

hey baby. i was scrolling my jackson tag looking for revival posts i've written in the past that may help me collect my thoughts on this, and found an old tag that just said "they have to be monster hunting or baby raising they can't just hang out," which seems so fitting lol. and i do love this about them...that they always want to be searching, or building, and how it turns into creating. it turns into desire, even for things that don't make sense.

mulder is always motivated by something very clear, something defined in the very beginning, "nothing else matters to me." and scully is always clearly defined by faith in it, "i didn't believe you, but i followed you." and one of the difficulties of this model is that it can't stay forever. it's like duchovny joking that he thought signing on for the pilot would be easy, that logistically the show would never last, because you can't search forever. you can't hide forever. eventually, there have to be answers. there have to be findings, there have to be conclusions.

and i think that's where they run into that trouble you're describing circa2008 ("this is who i am. it's who i have always been. it's who i was before i met you. it's what i do. it's everything i know." / "so write it down. put it in a book.") and the way that it's almost...cruel. "put it in a book" is a little mean. "it's who i was before i met you." is a little threatening. i don't think scully has ever looked so purely exhausted as she does throughout this film, and she ends up staying in the end.

and it's scary because they're not searching, they're not creating. they're not allowed to. when he starts up again, obsessively looking for the missing fbi agents, she tries to knock him back by invoking his sister. how she's dead and he can't find her and she has been through "too many years" watching him try. (a little mean, a little scary, a little threatening).

he can't find his sister, that investigation is long over, and he's not allowed to look for their son. which he describes in that movie to her as "an emptiness." my latest frustration around here is this indignance that scully would never leave, she's too "ride or die," she's a doctor, she's loyal. it feels extremely unkind to expect her to suffocate in a haunted house, a situation that we have no idea the lengths of except for the few days we saw, because she's dutiful. because she's starbuck.

and he can't put it in a book. fans want the same exact thing that they argue over in that scene. they want the "happy ending" and domesticity that you reference, and they explain by saying he could write. he could teach. he could stay home with the baby. you ask if mulder and scully know what's best for each other, and i think when they do it scares them. they don't want to say it out loud. other times, they don't know what to do with each other any more than i know what to put on them, by writing this. they know that they want to be searching. building. creating. but they don't always have something to look for, and it's hard to build from a haunted house with empty rooms.

there's this moment in the last finale that always rings incredibly sad to me, when mulder is racing around looking for jackson, and scully is anxious back at the house on the phone, saying "find him." and mulder says "i'm gonna find him. i am tired of looking at him on video."

and he sounds pissed off, like a dad with a teenager in trouble (running away with lottery money?? lol), but it's that last line that just guts me. it really makes you remember that we saw this kid as a baby throughout season 9, scully spent the first year of his life with him, she even got to talk to him at the gas station. mulder got infant photos. emails. security footage.

and in founder's mutation when scully asks if mulder thinks about him, he says "i feel like i've had to put that behind me." scully says that she hates herself.

there's this one moment of show-stopping relief in the finale when mulder makes it to jackson. and he says "i know it must seem strange to you. but i've been looking for you forever."

he was supposed to stop, supposed to put it all behind him, but that's not how mulder works. and even in the end, they haven't quite made it. they have what amount to maybe shaky beginnings.

i don't know what it looks like in the "after," if they are able to go home and build something, the way i'd like them to. the duchovny quote you reference is "there is no such thing as that story ever ending. those characters are forever searching. that's what they do. even if we're not watching them, they're out there."

and i think that's hopeful. i think that's nature. i think that's light in dark places, like chris carter says.

[icantalk710]

Not too bad a day at the office yesterday--helps that we can use our patio in nice weather again 😌--leading into a decent arm day workout 💪🏽 (despite how long it took to get a bench for chest press work 😩)

[cuteniaarts]

Hey 🗑️🔥 gang (@katkastrofa @rokurookajima @shadelorde)…

Heard you guys like feral women 😏😏😏

[quinn-pop]

when i think about it, i can’t imagine most of magolor’s time scheming was all that satisfying. not really.

it kinda depends on where you place him, but with the helper magolor feature in rtdldx i think it’s more interesting to imagine him traveling alongside kirby and the others. and how lonely that must have felt.

y’know, especially with kirby around. someone so earnest and friendly.

anyway, just a concept i can’t let go of

the phrase “you are my deepest most tender wound” has been stuck in my head lately. i think it fits. not perfectly, but enough.

yes this is like 95% to be apart things. i have brainrot