#i have the outline planned i just need to decide if i want to include a certain event

[sonarsunbeam]

need to make a checklist for myself for what fics i have that im working on

[hahaifolded]

141 x POC!GN Intelligence Operative - The Contract (Long Drabble) Author's Notes: Once again playing with something new. Not gonna lie, hated this because this was more work than I had expected. Next one will be more narrative for my sake Warnings: MDNI, Angst (ALSO PUT YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO CAUSE I DO BLOCK)

Contract of Employment - Intelligence Operative Name: [Retracted] Address: [Retracted] The basic terms and conditions of your employment are outlined in this Contract of Employment and the Employee's policies. Duration of Contract: Your employment with the Employer under this Contract started on [Retracted] and will end after 12 months after the initial date. Contract can be renewed after the Employee ends in good standing with the Employer after the 12 months and the Employee deems it a good fit.

Job Title and Hours 3.1: You are employed as INTELLIGENCE OPERATIVE for [Retracted] reporting to "the Captain." 3.2: You are expected to perform all duties outlined below starting at 0800 (8:00am) to 1700 (5pm) Monday through Friday. 3.3: You must be available for any extenuating circumstances past these hours. All emergencies will be informed by "the Captain" and "the Captain" only.

Price: Need you to review the plan for the next mission before the meeting tomorrow.

Ghost groans after reading the message. Price just had to ruin his Sunday night. Realizing that his plan to sleep in was just ruined, he decides to text you. Seeing that you normally got in around that hour, maybe you could join him?

Did he deserve that? God no. But, he missed you. So he sends the text and waits... and waits... and waits...

Next thing he knew, his alarm was ringing, signaling the new day. He checks his phone and sees there are no new messages. It didn't matter. He'll see you around soon enough.

But soon enough comes around and you're nowhere to be seen. Were you running late? Shit, your car. Maybe you were walking again? He sends you a text, but again, no response. He's so worried that he can't even focus when looking over the plans. It's not until he sees you walk in for the meeting exactly at 0800 that his mind eases. Surprised to see you walk in late, he decided to check up on you after the meeting.

Knock, knock

You glance up from your monitor. "Lieutenant?"

Lieutenant? Sure, that was his title, but you always called him Ghost. Something didn't feel right.

"Sorry, I just wanted to check up on you."

You stop typing and completely turn towards him. "Why?" Your tone is accusatory.

He stumbles a bit. You were never short with him. "C-cause you came in late toda--"

"I did not come in late. If you look over my contract, you would see that my start time is 0800, exactly the time I clocked in today." You turn back to your monitor and continue to work.

Ghost takes a big gulp. "Oh. I- uh... I sent you message last night and this morning."

You let out a heavy sigh and stop typing. "Was it an emergency?"

"No, but--"

"Good. I can't waste any time here, have to make sure I put all of my energy in my work. So if you don't have anything else of importance, you can leave." And with that you continue to type.

Ghost walks out of your office and closes the door. Why did it feel like it wasn't just your door that was closed here?

Job Responsibilities 4.1: You are responsible for all work that requires intelligence which includes analysis, gathering of intel, and presentation of said intel. 4.2: You will not participate in work that falls outside your jurisdiction.

After today's meeting, Gaz was weary of the plan. Despite being checked by Ghost, he couldn't help but feel like it needed to be discussed further. He kept in his thoughts during the meeting as he wanted to process them further.

Now after thinking about it all morning, he realizes he needs one more brain to help finalize his thoughts. Not just any brain, however, yours. If he wasn't so caught up in his thoughts, he would have realized that he no longer had any entitlement to your help. But alas without a second thought, he rushes to your office.

He knocks on your door and walks in before you have a chance to say anything. "Hello, hello!" he chirps. And, instead of being greeted by your warm smile, he is greeted by nothing. You don't even bother to glance at him.

Without removing your eyes on the screen, you say with no emotion, "Sergeant Garrick, what do you need?"

Sergeant Garrick? Ewe, that sounded so wrong coming out of your mouth. You always called him Kyle... Gaz if you felt cheeky. Feeling nervous now, Gaz hesitates to speak.

"Sergeant, I really don't have time for your shenanigans. Do you need something?" You quickly glance up and shoot him a sharp look.

That look brings Kyle to the present. "Sorry, yes. I was hoping you would..." You finally look at him, but instead of easing his nerves, it only exacerbated them as you looked at him with annoyance. "If you can, obviously, help me go over the plans for the next mission. Something about them just seem off and I could really--"

You interrupt him. "I have to stop you there. No." And just like that, you turn back to your monitor.

"Why?" he asks without thinking. He catches the way you took in a sharp breath.

Without looking at him, you respond, "I have never been in the field so what use do I have for you? Besides my job is in intelligence and in intelligence only."

He cringes at his own words. He tries to get another word in, but you're clearly not listening. Feeling defeated, he walks out your door.

"Sergeant?" you call after him. He quickly whips around. Maybe you changed your mind?

"Close my door."

Job Responsibilities 5.1: You have jurisdiction over all work that deals with intelligence. 5.2: You have complete authority to discipline officers of lower ranking or similar rank if their actions interfere with your responsibilities.

Soap doesn't know how it happened. He has been in his office all day, working. Sure, maybe he spent more time than he should have thinking about you, but everyone else does it. Now he was scrambling, trying to finalize the schematics for the explosives needed for the next mission.

Low on time, he rushes to your office to beg for your help. He knew he was in deep water with you, but he really had no choice. He hoped your caring heart would pity him this one last time.

He barges into your office, calling your name out. You immediately shoot up from your seat, worry apparent in your face. You hurry to the front of your desk to reach the panting Scotsman.

"Sergeant MacTavish, is everything okay?" Johnny can hear the worry in your voice. Good, you still might care.

"It's an emergency. I need to finish these blueprints by today or Price will kill me! Help your favorite Scotsman out?" he begs. Soap nearly whines when you take a step back from him.

You scoff. "Are you being serious right now?" Okay, maybe you don't care.

"I know, I know. But I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate," he cries. His entire body shudders when you scoff at him once more. You shake your head in disbelief and return to your seat.

"Please, get out."

"Please, it's not even a lot. Just go over--"

"No, Sergeant. I have my own work to do."

"It won't take a lot of time, just--"

"NO!" you stand up again, slamming your desk. "Sergeant MacTavish, it is not in my contract to babysit fools like you." He winces. "If you cannot handle the work that comes with being in Special Forces, I recommend you to consider other careers. So leave my office before I write you up for insubordination," you hiss.

Soap quickly apologizes and leaves your office. He bumps into Price on his way back, but it doesn't phase him. Your utter disappointment in him plays back in his head over and over and over again.

Breach of Contract 8.1: If Employer deems the work of the Employee as unsatisfactory, contract will immediately be terminated. 8.2: If Employee deems the Employer is breaching any of the parts outlined above, Employee has the right to terminate the contract without any repercussions

John didn't take Soap crashing into him personal. It was clear his sergeant was lost in his thoughts. What did pique his interest was where he walked out of. It seemed like every member on his team had a chance to pop in your office today, but him. Refusing to let any of those muppets get in your good graces before he does, he decided to pop in.

Since Johnny left you door open, he just knocks on the doorway before letting himself in. "Hopefully, I'm not disturbing?" he jokes. The clacking of your keyboard stops and you slowly turn to look at him. You take in a deep breath, almost as if you're trying to contain yourself.

"Captain Price," you announce plainly, "do you need something? I'm almost done with today's report."

"No, not at all. Just wanted to check up on you. See how you're doing?" He doesn't quite catch what you mumbled under your breath. "Sorry?"

You roll your eyes. "Nothing," you pause. "I'm fine. Just trying to get my work done before 5pm."

"5pm? Have an appointment or something?"

You stare at him for a bit and remind him of your contracted hours.

Assuming that you were worried about not finishing on time, John assures you that you can always stay in late or pick up again tomorrow. "It happens to the best of us."

Your eyes go cold. "It wouldn't have happened to me if your men and yourself weren't adamant in harassing me with matters that frankly do not pertain to me." You readjust yourself in your seat. "I advise all of you to go over my contract to avoid further misunderstandings. I would hate to leave mid-mission."

John goes cold. You... leaving. He looks in your eyes to see if there was any hesitation. There’s none.

Employer Signature: [Retracted] Employee Signature: [Retracted] Date: [Retracted]

After that day, the 141 realized what they had done. They had completely crushed your spirit and pushed you to be the epitome of professionalism. You were still a phenomenal Intelligence Officer, but you were just that. You were no longer their team mate... their friend.

But you're still here so that's fine... right?

Word Count: 1732

More Thoughts - Next Thought

[lyssasdrafts]

unrequited love — azriel x reader

description: you’ve always gravitated towards azriel, suspecting him to be your mate. however, he might be too closed off for one to realize.

includes: angst, unrequited love, rejected mating bond, cassian being your wingman

let me know if i should write a part two with a happy ending 🤭🤭

(part two)

you couldn’t keep your eyes off him.

azriel, who was cold and intimidating. azriel, who you were supposed to be scared of. azriel, who does unspeakable things for a living. azriel, who was so beautiful to you.

you could barely find it within yourself to hold his gaze. the coldness in his eyes that softened when he looked at you, those sparring glances and longing gazes. it was so easy for you to distract yourself whenever his hazel eyes watched you. azriel rarely smiled, but those rare moments you heard his laughter made your heart stop. his laugh compelled your heart, tugging on a string in your chest that you’ve never felt before. it was the way his lips curled and he threw his head back, the way the wind blew his hair as you watched him fly, the way you’d felt drawn to him like it was magnetic.

there was something about his beauty that struck you. it was the subtle way his shadows danced around you and called to him. how badly you wanted to know the thoughts behind his tired eyes when he looked to the ground. how his scars and battle wounds stuck out to you, making you want to hear his stories. you avoided looking at his lips because your first thought would always be to pull him closer. you wanted to trace your fingers along the outline of his figure, you wanted to hold his shoulders and wake up in his embrace.

more often that you’d like to admit, you thought of azriel when you closed your eyes at night and still couldn’t sleep. you stared at the darkness and wondered what he would be doing right now.

perhaps it was love at first sight. this wasn’t the kind of attraction that felt like an explosion; no, it started with a spark. it was fleeting, just like those moments you had with him, and it lingered. it lingered the way a poison makes its way through your body, killing you slowly. it lingered the way a bruise could only heal overtime, yet it still hurt in the smallest ways and left a mark.

but perhaps you would never heal.

you suspected azriel was your mate after the first time you saw him. from the longing that consumed you, to the plaguing thoughts of azriel refusing to leave your mind, to the spark in your chest.

perhaps he would notice it too.

but he never did. everyday, azriel showed you a new face of indifference. if there was ever a chance for you to be left alone with him, he avoided that opportunity.

a part of you told yourself that he was just scared. he didn’t like to open himself up to others, and he barely even knew you. but perhaps if you’d been patient with him and stuck around longer, he would realize. he had to realize, right? there was no possible way he couldn’t feel your pining through the mating bond, he couldn’t sense the attraction in your eyes when you glanced at him.

for now, you would keep your distance. you would give him space. but sooner or later, you needed to talk to your mate. you needed to confront azriel.

you had always confided in cassian about your feelings for his brother. besides the fact that he knew azriel better than anyone else, he was one of your closest friends. cassian had laughed at first, not believing that anyone could be attracted to his friend who was so cold and distant towards everyone. but cassian had been wrong.

after some pleading on your end, cassian decided that he would help you talk to azriel. you could have a more personal conversation with someone that azriel was already comfortable with. you wanted to know more about azriel other than your previous small talk and mission reports. you hadn’t planned on confessing your feelings or revealing too much, you just wanted to see how azriel would act around you.

it’s a shame that cassian isn’t good at being subtle. first, he brings you over to azriel and formally introduces the two of you. azriel blinks, as if he hadn’t already known who you were. but then you notice how he’d laughed at one of your jokes and figured there might be something there.

“any plans for tonight?” cassian breaks any feelings of awkwardness for you. if you had spoken to azriel alone, you doubt you would he made it this far. you trusted cassian well enough to know he could carry a conversation. “i’m going out with nesta. it’s date night for us, you know, because we’re mates.”

the word leaves you frozen, eyes widened and shocked. you had left out the part where you suspected azriel was bonded to you, leaving cassian to simply assume you just had a dumb crush. he was clearly trying to tease you by pushing the subject with azriel.

“do you have a mate, y/n?” cassian gives you a large grin. you held back a sigh, he definitely was your professional instigator.

you tried to laugh it off, remembering that you conveniently hadn’t told cassian that you thought azriel was your mate and might as well be falling in love.

“no,” you lie. then you realize the chance you have, and you glance towards azriel hopefully. “what about you, azriel?”

“i don’t have a mate,” azriel says coldly. “and i don’t want one.”

you try to ignore the pang in your chest. it felt like azriel had tugged on the string that potentially connected you before ripping it apart. he doesn’t want a mate. you think about all the implications of this. azriel had never suspected anything from his end, he had never thought anything special about you. you hold back your tears when you realize your loss and the feeling of rejection stings you. you seemed to have finally found your mate, only for him to not want you back.

your lips purse, fighting back what you really wanted to say next. you excuse yourself soon after, cassian following you closely behind.

“i’m sorry,” cassian awkwardly tries to give you a smile. “you wouldn’t like azriel anyways,” he waves his hand. “he’s cold, and doesn’t like to socialize. he wouldn’t have gotten along with you.”

you nod in agreement, keeping your head down as you stared at the ground. the feeling of emptiness, of losing your mate, it plagued you. cassian offers to walk you home, to which you want to politely decline in your sadness. however, you could use someone to cheer you up.

it’s not until you’re completely alone, back in your own room, that you allow yourself to grieve. you shut the door tight and lean your back against the wooden surface, sliding down to the floor. it’s not until then that you start to cry at the loss of your mate. not because azriel was hurt, but because he’s rejected you.

[sunderwight]

contemplating an SVSSS fic where Airplane transmigrates into Tianlang Jun instead of Shang Qinghua.

he wakes up before Tianlang Jun was about to walk into the HH Palace Master's plot, but too late to really do much about Su Xiyan's situation or the frame job. of course, being Airplane, he doesn't go face down the sects and get sealed under a mountain. but he also doesn't know what to do about the whole situation with Luo Binghe.

he was too vague in his outline and especially in his actual story. finding Xiyan or possibly some random washer woman who lives along the Luo river is a needle in a haystack situation, and he didn't ask for any of this to happen to him, so he just ends up leaving it alone. Tianlang Jun goes back to the demon realms with his confused (but relieved) nephew, and works on consolidating his power there and on thwarting the attempted incursions of Huan Hua Palace.

HHP has egg on their face because they riled up the other sects and got them into this alliance/ambush plot and then the heavenly demon they were supposed to fight didn't even show up. hasn't even been seen in the human world since. while HHP tries to spin it as them being so strong and formidable that they scared him off, the other sects feel like they're just blowing hot air and trying to take credit for something that never even happened. was that head disciple of theirs even involved with a demon at all? suspicious how she just disappeared, too. maybe it's a cover-up. no one's particularly impressed or convinced after the fact that HHP's claims are on the level.

which at least means that there's no concerted effort to wage a war or anything. Tianlang Jun meets a young Mobei Jun and Airplane decides to expend a lot of time and energy in helping the young prince consolidate his own power, so that's a whole thing. there's no system so Airplane's not obliged to preserve the plot, but he still knows it's out there and he's gotta skirt the line between giving MBJ absolute power on a silver platter and not setting MBJ up to be killed by the protagonist one day.

there are benefits and problems to TLJ mostly leaving Luo Binghe's whole journey untouched. on the one hand, he anticipates that everything around Luo Binghe will continue just like in the novel, so that's easy to predict. but on the other hand, that means he's in for some trouble when the blackened protagonist emerges all super-powered and unbeatable from the abyss and starts taking revenge on everyone who wronged him (a category which potentially includes the deadbeat dad who abandoned him for years).

so as the time of the immortal alliance conference approaches, Tianlang Jun starts to think that he needs to get ahead of this.

the most logical solution is to prevent Luo Binghe becoming quite as OP of a protagonist as he'd been the first time. since TLJ is plenty powerful himself (one of the things Airplane enjoys! as well as being very rich!) LBH really does need every edge he could possibly get to be a threat to him. so, why let him gain those edges?

this leads to TLJ's brilliant plan: just don't let Luo Binghe get thrown into the Endless Abyss! no blackening, no all-powerful weapon, no gauntlet of monsters to hone his skills, just a run-of-the-mill heavenly demon hybrid who could never in a million years take his old man in a fight!

TLJ decides he can two-birds-with-one-stone this situation by capturing Shen Qingqiu. then, one day if LBH does still make it to his doorstep, he can present him with his hated scum villain as a peace offering. like well son I know I abandoned you to suffer on your own, but plausibly I didn't even know you existed, so here, have your abuser to dismember in cathartic violence as you please! become a filial son and this old man will help fund whatever massive harems you want to build!

genius!

so, shortly before the immortal alliance conference is set to take place, TLJ goes and steals himself a peak lord.

Shen Qingqiu is... kind of different from what he expected? but oh well, it's been years since he wrote the novel and lots of characters have turned out somewhat different in person from how they were on the page, and the guy was always a mess of contradictions anyway. TLJ hands him over to his servants with strict instructions to keep him locked up, but not to harm or kill him (revenge is reserved for the protagonist, after all!)

Zhuzhi Lang, who witnessed the last debacle where his uncle took a sudden keen interest in a cold but beautiful human cultivator, makes entirely the wrong assumption (as do a lot of the palace staff) and figures that TLJ has just become more pragmatic about pursuing his lovers. Shen Qingqiu is given appropriate chambers (and restrictions) and word soon spreads that the Demon Emperor has captured a human cultivator to serve as his concubine.

so, this version of SQQ has actually been Shen Yuan since Luo Binghe joined the sect (and also doesn't have a system and thus had zero plans of throwing LBH into the abyss), and he is desperately trying to figure out what kind of changes he has unwittingly invoked here that Luo Binghe's father should be still alive, and free, and also kidnapping him to be his goddamn concubine?! that has to be a misunderstanding, right?!

Mobei Jun is mad. and jealous. and mad. but a concubine isn't an empress, so that job posting is still available, right? it better be, he has been waiting more than a decade for the official proposal!

TLJ meanwhile decides he's going to go secretly watch the immortal alliance conference just to make sure that the universe doesn't contrive to drop LBH into the abyss anyway, but weirdly enough, Luo Binghe isn't even there. listening to rumors, he gathers that uh... some stuff has changed? like Luo Binghe is head disciple of Qing Jing Peak? and apparently went crazy when Shen Qingqiu disappeared? except that some people think they might have eloped???

maybe he shouldn't get his rumors from Xian Shu disciples, those girls remind him of rpf conspiracy theory shippers from his old life. they're probably just way off base! hahaha... ha...?

well at least TLJ did a pretty good job of covering his tracks, so there's no reason for anyone to suspect that he captured Shen Qingqiu. or there shouldn't be, until he goes back home to find that every single demon seems to believe that Shen Qingqiu has been taken by him to be his lover. where did anyone even get that idea?! TLJ has been dutifully pining in his unrequited and inappropriate love for the young Mobei Jun for years now! whenever anyone asks he insists he's still mourning Su Xiyan! it's been a whole thing!

but oh shit, truth aside, there's no way those kinds of rumors have remained strictly contained to demon ears. both demons and cultivators have their spies after all, and even if they didn't, news moves along the borders.

sure enough, TLJ barely has time to try and dismantle this misunderstanding before a young Luo Binghe arrives on his doorstep, along with Yue Qingyuan and the very-much-still-alive lord of Bai Zhan peak, for some reason, all of them extremely pissed off at him!

[limes-sagau]

Starting My Sagau Writing Journey

Ok Im wanting to dip my toes into the Sagau writing scene and I wanted to put out about 3 ideas I have and plan on writing. Each idea will be outlined below and people are welcome to take inspiration off of them just make sure to tag me in the writing. There will also be a poll at the end where you can vote for which one you want to see first. When I finish writing each chapter they will be put up on AO3. 

Shimeji AU: 

For those who don't know, Shimeji is a browser extension that spawns a chibi version of a character onto your browser. This character can then move around and climb on the borders of your web page and just be a cute little distraction (I know this might sound like malware but its not I've had a Venti and a Lumine Shimegi for a while now and haven't experienced anything that can imply they are malware) 

This would be more of a drabble and less of a full fic. 

Basically the characters in genshin become aware through their Shimeji and then begin acting up in your browser when you're out of the game (when you're in game you're fine).

If you leave your web browser opened when you leave your computer you will come back to it being on a weird page 

Like Venti looking at a wine website 

Diluc somehow ending up on a streaming service watching Batman 

Yae Miko finding your writing 

I'll likely start off with characters from Mondstadt and go down the list for each region.

Kidnapped by the Harbingers (not the final title): 

Exactly as it sounds, in the middle of the night you are taken from your college dorm (or room I likely won't specify) to Teyvat after the harbingers find a way into our world. 

Haven't decided which harbinger will be sent (leaning towards Childe because I feel like it would fit best and he'd be down for that type of experiment). 

Most of it will take place in a separate castle from Zapolyarny Palace. 

If you want to know my specific location I have in mind their is a visual novel called Dottore And The Spy where you become Dottores apprentice (highly suggest this visual novel) but its main story takes place in a castle in the middle of a frozen wasteland away from civilization where both Pantalon and Dottore live. This will be the main location for the story. 

I'll also be adding in Capitano as another permanent resident of this castle because I want to write about a big strong man who is the emotional intelligence of the three main harbingers present. 

The other harbingers and the Tsaritsa will appear but they will be much more understated in their role.

I want this fanfic to go into the mental load that being locked away from the world has on a person's psyche.

Readers' powers will slowly awaken, making it harder for the Harbingers to keep us a secret from Teyvat and specifically Celestia.

This won't be a full blown yandere fic with the harbingers, they will be slightly possessive but it is more about your safety since Celestia doesn't like you. 

Celestia will be the ultimate enemy over all but the story will not be focused on shooting down Celestia from the sky as readers powers will not ever reach the strength needed to face Celestia alone. 

Harbingers plan will not have changed; they are still working to take down Celestia.   

This will be taking place after Sumeru (so no Scara or La Signora and their will be less clones)

The story will also include 

Getting to know and bond with your castle staff like maids or ladies in waiting (I know these are typically only given to female presenting reader but I want to write about gossip and forming friendships so this is what I'm going with) 

Quality time with each harbinger

Impressing Dottore with your basic levels of knowledge on Astronomy (since Teyvats sky is fake)

Eventually a runaway arch

Lots of tears and mental breakdowns, but don’t worry there will be comfort as well

Shenanigans 

Possibly NSFW after reader finally convinces everyone to stop calling them “your grace”

To Make a Haven (Title might change):

Imposter (but reader is the real deal) AU

Reader gets killed once by a mob of NPCs 

I want it specifically to be NPCs so the reader still has emotional attachment to the playable characters

Reader seeks out a safe and secluded place  

Teyvat awakens to readers distress and opens up a hidden area of the map to the reader that can only be accessed through very specific means. 

Reader eventually starts bringing in Hilichurls to what for now im going to be calling “the Grove” 

Reader will begin messing around and experimenting with her powers and finds a way to somewhat heal the hilichurls 

This isn't a full fix it will be like layering a curse on top of a curse in order to negate some of the effects of the original curse

The hilicurls will not return to being human they will become something else (human like but not human) 

This fic will contain way more original characters 

Reader will be more spiteful in this fic but less in like a “make everyone suffer” way and more like “lets shake up the system and make everything more challenging for people because they tried to kill me” 

This fic will span over a larger span of time in world with the reader building a full city in the hidden area Teyvat made for them.

Well those are my three ideas! after this poll is done I'm hoping to get the first chapter out with that week, but I'm a college student and it been a while since I have written fanfiction so i make no promises.

[ohcorny]

hey corny. so i always see people recommending to outline their story before starting it, but could you talk a little bit more about what that means? what is an outline and how do you structure one? how long are the ones you write, depending on the project? do you focus on plot beats or feelings? how specific do you get? can u recommend any readings for learning more?

up front i don't have any resources for this, only experience. and outlines feel like one of those things where it's like... there are a million ways to do it and the way that works for me might not work for you. i have a friend who writes out all his ideas on index cards and that, for me, is insane. but he's also a better writer than me so who can say what is right or wrong.

anyway an outline is essentially a sketch but for a story. you go through the whole thing, start to finish, and figure out what goes where and what happens when. the idea is that this is the stage where you work out all the big picture stuff and make sure it all fits together, now, and not after you've drawn twenty pages and suddenly go "wait shit that doesn't work" and have to do it over. it is much easier to delete and rewrite a paragraph than to redraw several pages.

doing anything more, ie including dialogue or feelings, depends entirely on how useful that information is to you at that point in the process and whether the purpose of the outline is for your own guidance, or so somebody else can tell what you're trying to achieve.

this got really long with multiple examples

here is an excerpt from the original outline i used to pitch Hunger's Bite to publishers. this one had to be polished to a professional standard, because somebody else was going to read it and decide whether they wanted to give me thousands of dollars to tell this story. (also several of the details are no longer accurate. for instance it now takes place 9 years earlier lmao)

this paragraph represents the first eight pages of the book. the final book is 264 pages long, and the outline was 12 pages of paragraphs as dense as this one.

it establishes where we are, who's there, and what they're doing. i describe their conversation, but i don't commit to the dialogue. i will occasionally include snippets of literal dialogue, but usually only if it's Important Dialogue, or i just don't want to forget a good idea i had while outlining. it's not expected at this step.

an outline written as part of a pitch to a publisher should tell the whole story, with all the important details, and leave nothing ambiguous. they need to know the tone, shape, and the arcs. no secrets! all the spoilers. outlines for yourself should do this too, but outlines for others need to be as clear about your vision as possible. again, an outline like this exists for the purpose of getting you paid thousands of dollars. you should write it like that.

in comparison, here's an excerpt from the outline i wrote for revisions to my WIP prose novel, so i could show it to my agent (who already read the draft) to be like "do these changes sound good?" i'm not selling it to anyone yet, just making a guide so i can have a conversation about it. so it doesn't need to be neat, it just needs to be functional and clear. the first chapter was entirely new stuff. the second bit was just writing down what was already in the chapter that existed.

i have historically been very bad at outlining things when i don't think i "need" to, and only wrote this one after having written like 60k words of the book without any overall plan. i gave what i had to my agent for feedback and then sat down and figured out how i could apply it. it's made the whole revisions process significantly less daunting. now i have a checklist for things i need to do! this one was a paragraph or two for each chapter, with the ones that needed a lot of rewriting given a bit more detail.

lastly, here's a bit of the outline for the first roger crenshaw book. i was the only person who had to see this, and since the story was planned to be very short i didn't have to worry about a whole lot. as long as i knew what was supposed to go where, it would work. honestly it's not a whole lot different from the previous example.

this one was like five paragraphs and it did the job, and this story was like 15k words. you only need as much or as little as will actually help you on the page.

basically if you take nothing else from this, it's that there are multiple ways to write an outline, that it does not need to be perfect if you're doing it for yourself, and that it only needs what you think is important (unless it is for other people. then it should have everything). and also it's a good idea to do it earlier in the project than after you've written 60k words or drawn--jesus christ i got up to 12 chapters in never satisfied? it's amazing i didn't quit sooner

[r3dcam3llias]

Brainstorming Ideas for Step 5 Mod...

Recently, I've been in my finalizing planning step (it's messy) for this mod, and I wanted to brain-dump some ideas for the logistical side of things. I decided there would be two main routes to focus on right away: Pregnancy and Adoption. While I plan on making a 3rd route to let players choose neither and just have fluffy, child-free moments with their husband/boyfriend Cove, that is not my main focus for the mod initially. Additionally, I would LOVE to make a surrogacy option, but again, it is not my main focus and will have to be something I consider after the 2 main routes are finished.

Also, for simply the sake of maintaining my sanity, Step 5 is going to have to be fully linear, meaning moments will happen in chronological order. Although they will still be able to be fully skipped and will include content warnings (if applicable) at the beginning of each one! (with the exception of a few key moments, to be expanded on later…) Now to get into the brainstorming itself, I'd like to share the outlines I've cooked up for these routes:

Pregnancy Route

During the pregnancy route, the MC and Cove will be able to have a biological child together through the MC becoming pregnant. This route is only avaliable if the player chooses that the MC was assigned female at birth or is intersex and assumes the MC still has female reproductive organs and anatomy conducive to pregnancy. Although the player can choose during gameplay whether or not they ever developed breasts/had them removed. I plan on making this route be split up into five optional moments, over the course of 9 months, with at least one optional moment before the MC becomes pregnant (not related to pregnancy at all) and at least two non-skippable moments after their baby is born. Additionally, I want as many people as possible to be able to play and enjoy this mod and also be comfortable and feel represented while doing so!!

Because of this, I know not everyone is comfortable with in-depth depictions of things such as pregnancy or talk of medical conditions, yet still want to have the experience. While obviously, there will be no outright graphic or disturbing things in the mod, I still want people to be comfortable playing. For this reason, I want to implement a “Safe” mode that cuts out any and all potentially triggering subjects for a fully wholesome, discomfort-free experience. When the mod is finished, I plan to have full documentation of what these moments are so players can give a quick read-through at their discretion before playing. Additionally, I may implement an additional system to cut out small, unneeded references to the MC’s pregnancy by family members, Cove, etc, for those uncomfortable with the fact being shoved in their face during gameplay, allowing a sort of “High” or “Low” reference mode (similar to initiative levels, I suppose!).

Adoption Route

I don't have a whole lot to say on the adoption route, as I feel like it's a whole lot more straightforward (and will give me less headaches hopefully...) But I plan to give it a similar story structure to the former. This play style will be open to any MC, regardless of identity. The MC and Cove do not need to be married for this option to occur, but they have to have been in a long-term relationship at least since before Step 4. Like the pregnancy route, there'll be at least one optional moment before Cove and the player decide to adopt a child, followed by 3-5 moments as Cove and the MC make this decision and navigate the process of becoming parents. They will be followed by at least two moments after their child is adopted. As for the child Cove and the MC adopt, I'm considering making their appearance randomized from a few looks and you'll also get to decide to do a domestic or international adoption, although this won't have an impact on their child's looks. ANYWAY... That concludes my rants, thanks for reading. Do you have any concerns, comments, or questions? Suggestions for how I could make this mod better/more inclusive?

[sanguinesky-if]

[Dev Log] September 2024

Hello! I can't believe how quickly the last month of summer went by. I hope you spent it wonderfully and had a great time!

I'm currently preparing Chapter 3 Pt. 1 for the Patreon release on September 7th, so apologize for not responding to any messages and asks, but I'm grateful for all of them. I'll do my best to catch up after the release.

Now, for the news about the update.

What was accomplished last month?

Added more content that wasn't originally part of the update.

While I'm still not happy that I postponed the release, it did allow me to add more features and variations that make the storyline more flexible. [All technical notes about the content will be included in the post announcing the release of Chapter 3 Pt. 1.] This is something I'll likely need to continue working on next month. I want to ensure that no specific choices feel overly necessary or forced just to access more content with the chosen RO.

Added an option to choose outerwear for your MC.

Now, you can choose outerwear for all clothing styles except for 'edgy', since the 'leather jacket' has already been included there from the start. Although… what could be cooler than the MC wearing a leather jacket? The MC wearing two leather jackets.

About my plans for the current month.

Chapter 3 Pt. 1: fixing discovered bugs and errors.

Romance System: updating the main post with some important clarifications.

L's Side Story: translating and outlining.

Main Story: implementing a new vice for the MC and adding more flavor text.

A detailed content release schedule for Patreon can be found here.

About the Patreon content: since I posted the poll a bit late, I'm still waiting for the results to decide which ROs will get the content this month [NSFW Alphabet / Short Stories].

Thank you for reading to the end. I'm very grateful for your support, questions and messages!

Have a wonderful week and days after that! ♥

[kaylopolis]

Alastor's Shadow (18+) - My Fawn & My Shadow: Chapter Eighteen

Alastor x F!Reader

Synopsis: There’s a new Overlord in town and it isn’t the Radio Demon. Six years after you fell into Hell, you have finally earned your seat at the table as Pentagram City’s newest and baddest and with the Extermination coming six months earlier than planned, it is now time to implement your ultimate endgame. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of power and chaos? Your plan brings you to the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel as Charlie’s newest Redeemer, but who you find waiting for you will not only turn your entire plan upside down but also challenge your grab for power… 

Tag List: Slow burn, rivals to lovers, eventual smut

Masterlist Link: Masterlist

(Let me know if you want to be added to the Tag List!)

____________________________________________

Author note: Dear Hoteliers,

Why 2 alternate endings? A few reasons; the main reason is because I wrote this first part with Angel and Mikaela and FELL IN LOVE with it. It was so cute and adorable I had to include it somehow. Also, because not everyone loves a pregnancy trope. I, particularly, was genuinely torn. I could not decide how I wanted things to end. "My Fawn and My Shadow" will include a pregnancy trope but "Paris" will not.

I will say, the epilogue I have planned for "My Fawn and My Shadow" had me crying (were they happy tears? were they sad tears? Is she foreshadowing? IDK!) - but, that being said, to each their own. Should you choose to read both, be aware that some sections are straight up copy and paste. The Epilogues will obviously vary greatly.

P.S. Ignore the timeline for the pregnancy trope. In reality, this is not how biology works. But someone *cough* author *cough* forgot to factor in the timeline by the time she got to this chapter... It was part of my original outline, but I got carried away *insert upside-down smiley face here*

<3 Stay smutty

My Fawn & My Shadow:

Chapter Eighteen

Content Warning: Unwanted Pregnancy, Suggestions of Abortion, Self Harm

T-6 Hours Before the Portal Opens...

“Angel!” you practically screamed, falling into the spider demon’s destroyed room. Well, technically, it was not destroyed; this was his normal state of being. 

You fall onto the bed, your foot catching on a wadded-up sweater on the ground. You got a face full of Fat Nuggets before Angel jumped up and almost punched you in the stomach. 

“What the fuck are you doin’ in here, Hairclip, screaming and scaring the shit out of me this early in the mornin’!?” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. You noted the time - it was ten in the morning - not that early. Well, early for Angel. 

“I need you to come with me somewhere,” the anxiety was bubbling in your chest, overflowing into your words.

Angel paused, “Is everything okay? Is it the Extermination? Did they come early!?” 

“Angel,” you bite. “Please?” 

He looked at you, trying to read behind your eyes, before fully seeing how serious you were. He nodded before pushing Fat Nuggets to the side so he could get up and dress. 

“So, uh, where we goin’?” He asked as he pulled on a pair of pants. The demon struggled a bit, be it the sudden cessation of slumber or the booze from yesterday, or both, you didn’t know.

You curl into yourself on his bed, knotting your hands together to stop the shaking. “Wrath.” 

Angel froze, his eyes alight with shock. “I’m sorry, toots, I don’t think I heard ya’ right. Wrath? As in the Circle of Hell?” 

You nodded. 

“Wow,” he gawked. “This is serious… Wait, I can’t leave Pride, so how…” 

You snapped your fingers before he finished his sentence, amassing a portal in the middle of his room. The Circle’s familiar orange glow illuminated his white fur. 

Angel jumped backward and fell on the ground, his mouth gaping at the interdimensional crack you just punched into his bedroom wall. “Holy shit fuck!” 

Oh, you forgot only Alastor knew you could do that. Desperate times, however…

“You can, actually,” you shrug. “Just gotta take a different door.” 

Angel looked between you and the wall a few more times before shaking his head and finished dressing. 

Your mind was numb, your thoughts all jumbled into a knotted mess. How could this have happened? It wasn’t possible. It just wasn’t…

“Hey,” he put a hand on your knee, pulling you from your thoughts. “Ya’ okay?” He looked down at you with wide eyes. Angel was the only one you could trust right now. 

You nod before taking his hand. 

Wrath was a time capsule, stuck in the ages of the Wild West: the American Frontier. Fitting the place named for anger was a desert. 

Despite the change of seasons in the world above, Wrath was scorching. Although the Harvest Moon Festival was still a few months away, the locals were skittering about the small town in preparation. They were so busy they didn’t think twice at the two strangers zipping through the traffic, hidden under hoods and glasses. Angel protested at first, but once you pointed out that Wrath natives were imps, then he understood - the spider demon would stick out like a sore thumb. 

The demon ducked under the doorframe - probably three times the height of an average imp, but you couldn’t help that. The imps stared but not too long. 

“A convenience store? You dragged me all the way down here for a candy bar?” Angel spun in circles, taking in everything. 

God, he was so obvious.

“No,” was all you could manage. 

Being a Native Heaven born you were subject to certain… biological processes that Human Sinners were not. No surprise the Pride Ring didn’t sell the necessary products to aid in those situations, so you’d slip down here, grab a few things and head back up. 

But this…

You headed down the aisle labeled “Feminine Products” and stopped deadpan at what you were looking for. There were so many options, how did you know which one was the right one? 

“So hey, how about we check out a bar while we’re… Oh,” Angel came to a stop next to you, noticing the blood drain from your face at the things you were looking at. “Oh, shit, Hairclip.” 

“Yeah,” your voice cracked, trying to hold back tears. 

Angel’s hand found your shoulder. He shook his head. “But how? I thought Human Sinners couldn’t… ya know?” 

“Reproduce.” You filled in the blank for him. “Me neither.”

Angel was silent for a moment, letting it all sink in. 

“But…” your lip quivered, “then I remembered my brother and Lilith. Where Adam was the first human soul in Heaven, Lilith was the first human soul in Hell, technically, and they had Charlie. I’m an Angel, like my brother and Al is a Human Sinner so…”

“Shit,” Angel breathed. 

Then you started to chuckle, “I don’t even know which one to buy.” 

Angel pulled you close, “Me neither, dollface, but we’ll figure this out together. I’m assuming you got money?” 

You nodded, the anxiety bubbling over into silent tears on your face. You started hiccuping, the emotional wave too much for your frazzled mind to handle. 

Angel grabbed all five of them, paid for them with the Native money you pulled from your pocket, then dragged you into the bathroom and locked the door. 

You sat on the floor, Angel starting a timer for the three minute countdown. Longest three minutes of your life. 

The spider demon sat cross-legged across from you. “So, why bring lil’ ol’ me and not Smiles?” 

You hiccuped, bringing your knees to your chest and wrapping your arms around yourself. “The Extermination is today. I can’t… He can’t be thinking about me. He has Adam to deal with. He can’t…”

“And what about yous?” 

You breathed, “I’ll be on the field with you guys, just like we planned.” 

“But…”

“No.” You stopped him. “No, Angel. No matter what happens, Al can’t know. Not until after. Please,” you begged. “He can’t know anything is wrong he…” you hiccuped. “Al isn’t as strong and invincible as he seems.”

“Wow, here I thought you thought he walked on water.”

You dropped your face into your knees and gave a small sob. The memories of the fake Radio Demon being held hostage at Voxtech flit through your mind. And, although it wasn't actually Al tied to the chair, he was still a Human Sinner. Which meant he could die. You could as well but not as easily...

“Hey, hey,” Angel crawled to your side and pulled you into your arms. “Okay, okay, I won’t say nothin’.” 

“Not around radios either,” you sniffled. “They work both ways with Al.”

You had tested it in passing the other day. Just to see what would happen. Although Al was not happy about the dirty comment you made into his speaker - as it pulled him from important business in one of his territories - he didn’t seem too upset when he pulled you through his shadows and properly snogged you in the Hotel hallway.

“Shit, seriously? If that’s the case then that man’s heard a lot of things from me he shouldn’t have. A lot of fun noises, too.” The spider demon wriggled his eyebrows, making you giggle. 

Angel always knew how to bring a smile to your face. 

“So, can I ask ya’ somethun’?” Angel’s tone turned serious, making your heart skip a beat. “Is the sex good?” 

You snorted, drying the tears under your eyes. 

“Look I ain’t judging, Hairclip, but ya’ always come down with these bruises and… marks. Don’t get me wrong it's hot, but I just wanna make sure he ain’t like… hurtin’ ya’ or nothin’?”

“No, no Angel. Al is a gentleman, I assure you.” A small smile formed on your lips. 

“So?” He nudged you.

“Insanely,” you giggled. 

“Figures. He’s hung isn’t he?” He winks.

You snorted into your hand. “Angel!” 

“Oh, come on. You ain’t gonna tell me the Radio Demon ain’t packin’? No way, I don’t believe it.”

“Well…” your face turned a bright red.

“I fuckin’ new it!” Angel cheered. 

RING! RING! RING! 

You stopped breathing completely. Angel shut off the alarm, before turning to you. “You want me to…?”

You nodded, your eyes staring off into space, the only thing you could hear was the pounding of your heart in your ears. You couldn’t look up as Angel checked the tests, didn’t dare try to read the expression in his eyes and mouth. 

The demon grabbed one, wrapped in a paper towel, and knelt before you.

“Before I show you this,” he turned the test upside down so you couldn’t read it. “Tell me what you’re thinkin’.” 

A shaky breath escaped your lips, “I…”

What were you thinking? Fear, definitely fear, but were you devastated? Excited? Filled with hope or filled with dread? You didn’t know what to feel. You didn’t know what to feel because you didn’t know how Al was going to react if it came back positive. 

Would he be angry? Would he be excited? Would he even react at all? 

No. Your heart sank. No, he wouldn’t be excited. There are two things Al cares about: power, and chaos. There wasn’t room for anything else… or anyone…

You’d have to get rid of it. 

“I think, no matter what, I’ll tell Al after the Extermination tomorrow.” 

Angel nodded and flipped the test over. 

____________________________________________

T-3 hours until the portal opens…

“Okay, okay, I got this!” Collin breathed. 

Cletus banged him atop his head, “Just open the door!”

The sheep shot a dirty look at the… baby?... before drying his sweaty hooves on his overalls. 

This was it. This was the moment Collin had been waiting for his entire life. He has only ever seen the famous General at a distance and worshipped her from a far during meetings and through photographs. He had every single one of her fan club t-shirts and collector’s pins. He knew her battle strategies inside and out and scored perfect at every trivia night. He was the ultimate fan-girl and this was his moment to shine. 

And he was terrified. 

“Oh, my gosh!” Kennie shoved past him. “I’ll do it!” She prostrated before pulling the bedroom door open. 

The group froze, stunned by the sight of the yellow-eyed Angel ready and waiting for them on the other side. Mikaela Morningstar sat in a clothed chair perfectly perched in the entryway to her bedroom. The Angel had just finished the top laces of her leather boots before the Cherubs burst through the doorway. 

Mikaela had been waiting for them. 

Collin’s jaw audibly hit the floor at the sight of the warrior, legs crossed, one eyebrow perched in question, staring down at the three of them. She was like a goddess in material form - not to disrespect the Maker, of course. Her beauty practically radiated off of her in golden light as captivating as her irises. Although she had changed her hair and her wings were tucked out of the way, she was a vision. Collin couldn’t help but drool at the sight of her. 

“About time the three of you showed up,” the Angel laughed. “Talk about keeping a girl waiting.”

“You…” Cletus stumbled over his words. “You knew we were here?”

“Knew?” The Angel tipped her head in question. A habit she had picked up from a dear… friend. “You’ve been following me for days. Nifty’s collection of wool can only grow so much before a girl gets suspicious.” Mikaela laughed it off as if it was a joke, but Keenie’s head was still very, very sore. 

The Cherubs had no answer for her. 

“What can I do for you?” With hands perched in her lap, the General inspected the three of them, lazily soaking in their forms as they collectively entered the room. 

Wow. Mikaela Morningstar had expected them. Well, duh! Of course! She was God’s General! How could she not have seen them coming? She probably knew about everything: the phone call from Velvette, the orders from Rachel, their banishment from Heaven. She was, after all, an Archangel. Collin still couldn’t comprehend the situation. 

“Ms. Morningstar,” Collin began. Did he sound as nervous as he felt? “We have been sent from Heaven to return you to the Seraphim.”

The Angel blinked, but didn’t respond. Her face remained neutral as Collin spoke and even for a few moments after. He wiped his hooves on his pants again. The Cherub was thoroughly drenched in anxious sweat, which, hopefully, no one noticed. 

“Why?” 

“Why?” Kennie shoved her way forward. “Because you belong there? You’re Mikaela, the General, Heaven’s Archangel. You’ve been gone for over a hundred years doing…”

“God’s work.” Mikaela interrupted the sheep. 

“What?” Cletus asked. 

The Archangel chuckled. “You didn’t seriously think I just ran away from Heaven on a whim, did you?” 

The three Cherubs looked at each other for an answer, but it was the sheep who spoke first. “No, of course not!”

“Thank you, Collin,” Mikaela smiled. 

The Cherub’s heart jumped right out of his chest. “You know my name!?”

“Of course,” her eyes softened. “Why wouldn’t I know one of my biggest fans?”

____________________________________________

Yesterday…

“Hello, thank you for calling, C.H.E.R.U.B., how may we bless you today?”

“Hi! I’m calling about a loved one back on Earth who needs some help. It seems he’s lost his way a bit and I’d really rather not see him down here.” You twirled the cord in your hand.

Alastor sat across from you, a cup of tea in hand, one leg crossed over the other as he enjoyed the dyling light of day. 

“Of course! Can I get a name?”

“Well, actually… I’m quite protective of him, you see, and I want to know that you are sending your best.” The sweetness in your voice was practically sickening, but it made Alastor chuckle. “I was wondering who would be going. Would it be the three from the television commercial?”

“Cletus, Collin, and Keenie? By golly, no! They don’t work for us anymore.”

“Interesting…” You smiled. 

“Can I get the name of the person who needs a blessing?”

“No,” and you hung up the receiver. 

Alastor chuckled as he sipped his tea. “You make this look too easy, my doe. If it weren’t for the circumstances, you'd be running the place.”

This place... As in all of existence.

You grabbed your jasmine tea and clanked your cup with his. “How unfortunate the plan is to destroy it all instead.”

____________________________________________

Now...

The Cherub nearly feinted. 

The Archangel leaned in, speaking to the sheep directly. “You have to promise to keep everything I tell you a secret. No one can know that I am here.”

Collin blinked the stars from his eyes, “Of course! I would never!” 

In a whisper, Mikaela continued, “I’m on a secret mission from God. I can’t go into any detail, naturally…”

“Naturally!” Collin was nodding his head so hard he could have been mistaken for a bobble head. 

Mikaela leaned in a whispered, “... I’m here to find Roo.”

Collin stopped nodding. “Roo?”

“Roo.” Mikaela repeated, as if that answered all of their questions. 

“Wait!” Cletus interrupted once more. “You’re telling us that you are supposed to be here? Cavorting with demons!”

“Shhh,” Mikaela shushed. “Yes.”

Keenie scratched her sore head. “To find someone named Roo?”

“She’s the biggest threat against Heaven. Rumor has it that she’s planning an uprising against God. That’s why he left with me and went into hiding. Couldn’t have him unprotected while I hunted down this rebel.”

Too much information? Nope! Who the fuck is going to believe a bunch of banished Cherubs anyway? They can’t get back to Heaven and no one in Heaven would take them seriously even if they did. Negatives of fucking up with the Upstairs Management but a positive for you.

You could have told them any story that convinced them to leave you alone, and it would be no sweat off your back.

“Oooooooh,” Collin nodded. “That makes so much sense!”

“What!?” Keenie and Cletus echoed each other. 

“What?” Mikaela looked confused. “Do you think I’m lying?” She laughed. “Come now. I may be surrounded by demons, but I am still an Angel.” 

The three Cherubs blinked at her. 

“Oh.” Cletus awkwardly scratched his large head. 

Heaven Natives are so naive. Were you this gullible way back when?

The Angel adjusted the tie on her leather bracer. “And the three of you are interfering with my plan.” 

“What!?” Collin gawked. 

“I can’t exactly have Heaven stalking my every move while I’m on the job,” Mikaela rises from her chair, a towering figure over the tiny Cherubs. 

“Right! Right!” Collin was already headed for the door. 

Mikaela quickly ushered the other two out, ignoring the look of disbelief on their faces. 

“Thanks for understanding, guys.”

And then door shut behind them. 

Collin continued to drool in the direction of the doorway. 

“Now what?” Keenie asked as she dragged him by the collar down the hall.

“She’s so cool,” Collin gawked. 

Cletus smacked his face and rubbed the tension from his temples. “We return to Earth. I need time to think about this and I’m starving. I sure as fudge am not eating anything down here…”

____________________________________________

You shut the door behind them. 

“See,” you turned to the shadow at the back of the room. “I told you they’d believe me.” 

Alastor materialized from the darkness. With his cane in hand, he snaked the other around your waist and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You tried not to shutter at the contact, tried not to think about your stomach pressing into Al's…

This was not the first time you had run into one of Father’s minions. With Eve’s wild party streak, the two of you didn’t exactly keep a low profile. In fact, it would be odd for the two of you to not run into one of the Ishim or even a few Cherubs while they were on the job. You were recognized - because of course - and typically played it off as a happenstance run in while on a mission.

After all, the rumors in Heaven were that you were on some top secret mission with Father anyway. What were they more likely to believe: you were being a good little “Golden Girl” or playing Armageddon with Eve?

Eve on the other hand, either slept with the Holy invader if able, convinced them she was mortal if they were too young to know her face, or simply disappeared leaving you to fend for yourself.

What a friendship the two of you had…

“I never doubted you, my doe,” the demon mumbled into your hair. 

Trying to distract your mind before it decided to focus on the adventure from this morning, you grabbed for Alastor’s lapels to pull him down and…

“Alastor, what’s in your coat pocket?” Your fingers met something hard and boxy. 

The demon ignored your question. Instead, from the Void, Alastor pulled a hair clip - a new one. The metal was red, and pointed, with a small “A” pressed into one of the tongs. 

“I had Carmilla make it,” the demon holds the clip between the two of you, pushing you back so you are no longer pressed so closely together.

Which greatly helped the nerves. 

The red was a perfect match to Alastor’s eyes. 

How intentional… 

“Thank you,” you reached for it, but he pulled away. 

The demon was distracting you, but you allowed it. Your nerves were shot anyway and Alastor felt… off…

“Allow me?” He offered. 

Turning towards the mirror above the dresser, Alastor flipped your hair into a bun, clipping it at the back of your head perfectly square with your shoulders. 

You stared at the demon’s reflection in the mirror, noting the lack of music playing on his radio, noting the loss of static in his voice. He was nervous… 

“Al, everything changes after today. This is where the Endgame plan truly begins.” You tested the waters to see if that was what was bugging him.

“Hmm,” the demon continued to inspect your hair, his mind clearly stuck on something else. Not Armageddon playing his thoughts?

“But,” you turned to him, your back leaning against the dresser. “If I know war, and I do, there is always a lull after a battle. Perhaps, if just for a few days, we get out of here?”

“Oh?”

“I have safe houses in every Ring of Hell and in a few major countries on Earth - including an emergency backup in Heaven if things end up truly terrible… I have an apartment…” God, why were you so nervous? “In France.” 

The demon’s eyes sparked. 

“It’s in Place de l'Estrapade, not a far walk from the Pont Neuf bridge, just across the way from Jardin du Luxembourg*. I know it’s not Louisiana, but… There’s this adorable bakery in the square that I know you will love and…”

The demon swallowed your words with his lips. “Mes valises sont déjà faites. My bags are already packed.”

Right, why did you ever think Alastor Hartfelt would turn down a trip to France? 

Alastor’s shoulder slacked just a bit.

Then it hit you.

It was the after that was bugging him. After the battle that is. He comforted you last night in regards to your qualms with the battle, but funny how facing imminent death felt like an everyday for the Overlord.

But the after made him nervous.

The after…

Fuck, you promised Angel you’d tell Al after.

Your stomach turned itself into knots and threatened to spill all over the carpet. How would you explain that one to the demon?

Fuck.

Did you tell him now that you and Angel went to Wrath? Tell him what happened? Your mouth watered bitterly at the thought that you were lying to him - you had promised no more lies - but were you truly lying? This was for his own good. This was for his protection. If anything happened to Al, it would be your fault.

Your fault.

YoUr FaUlT.

YOUR FAULT.

The air was suddenly sucked from the room.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

“You lovebirds done shackin’ up o’ what?” Angel screamed from the other side of the wall. 

“Seriously?” Husk scoffed. “You called me up here for this?”

“What? Come on, Whiskers, you love spendin’ time with me,” Angel teased. 

You could practically hear the disbelief on Husk’s face through the door, “I thought you wanted me to help you bring something down, not hold your fuckin’ hand because you’re too scared of the Boss.”

“I ain’t scared of nothin’!” The spider demon protested. 

You smiled at Alastor, grateful for the spontaneous distraction. The demon pressed a kiss to your cheek and melted into shadow. 

Throwing the door open, both Husk and Angel jumped back in surprise before they realized it was just you. 

“Ha!” Angel crosses his arms. “See yous was scared, too!”

“I..!” Husk’s face turns red. “I was scared because she fuckin’ appeared outta nowhere, not because of…”

“Me,” Alastor melted from the floor, appearing behind the two of them. 

Angel jumped into you, grabbing onto your arm for support, while Husk remained utterly unphased. 

“Yeah, him,” the cat crossed his arms. 

You giggled at the sight of the two of them, the laughter breathing life back into your chest.

Just don't think about it... Yeah? Yeah! Don't think about it. Everything is going to be okay! It's fine. Everything is fine!

Taking a deep breath, you planted a smile on your face. “Come on, boys, we have an army to ready.”

You snuck a glance at Alastor, who looked distracted, wholly unaware of the nerves in your belly. Whatever was captivating him, you were thankful for it. It was quite uncharacteristic of him, but then again, you’ve never seen Alastor in the hours leading up to battle.

For whatever reason, you were disappointed in the last few remaining private moments you might possibly have with the demon. Not that you were expecting a big declaration of love from him.

Holy shit, you still hadn’t even told him you love him!

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You put the brakes on.

You’d been so distracted about this morning that you completely forgot about everything from last night! “Al, I need to talk to you-“

“There she is! There’s my little tomatuh!” Rosie had you in a hug so tight one would argue it was a chokehold.

“Rosie, dear! How delightful to see you!” Alastor pressed a kiss to the top of her hand. “Is that a new scarf? It looks astonishing on you darling, absolutely astonishing!”

The Overlord’s eyes shined like stars, “Oh! Al, stop! You flatter me.” Rosie ran a hand through her new purple boa.

“It isn’t flattery if it’s true!” Al came to stand beside you, his hands wrapped around the top of his cane.

The smell of the forest after rain calmed your nerves.

It’s okay. After. You can tell him after because there will be an after.

There will be an after.

Heading down the hall you ignored Angel's worried eyes on you. You ignored Alastor's shadow swirling about your feet with concern. And you ignored Husk's offer for a drink. For you had too many things to focus on right now...

A battle to win...

An identity to keep hidden...

A Human Sinner who still didn't know how you truly felt about him...

And a secret to keep...

Welcome to the Endgame.

____________________________________________

T-1 minute until the portal opens…

“This is it,” you press your forehead into Alastor’s. “Al, I -”

“Shh, my doe. Entre deux cœurs qui s’aiment, nul besoin de paroles,” and then the demon melted into shadow, to find his place atop the Hotel.

Goddamit, the demon switched between French and English so fast you couldn’t keep up half the time.

Charlie appeared next to you, a hand on your shoulder. “You’ll get a chance to tell him.”

You blinked. But how did she…?

“Uh,” Vaggie cut in. “I don’t mean to break up this moment, but we have Angels incoming.” The ex-Exorcist pointed her spear at the sky, where a large portal had cracked through the walls of reality.

Fixing your hood atop your head, you summoned your two short blades from the Void and readied yourself next to the Princess.

On the other side of the portal, you could make out the beautiful golden glow of Heaven. God, you did not miss it.

Two figures stepped through: Adam and Lute.

And then the onslaught began - but not before Alastor summoned his dark shield. The mass of magic covered the Hotel in a dome. Some of the Exorcists made it through, but the less fortunate ones bounced off in a wave of broken bones.

“It’s working!” Charlie screamed.

Until it wasn’t.

With a flick of Adam’s wrist the shield melted and then the exorcists fell through.

It was a dance of a battle. A beautiful pirouette of savagery and desperation, impregnating the air with the stench of golden iron.

You would have found yourself riding the high of battle had you not had Charlie to look after. Yes, Vaggie could well protect her on her own but it was the deal with Lilith that ensured no harm came to the princess.

As the princess shot sparkles you shot daggers. As she sang apologies you delivered death. Constantly you were forced to grab her by her wrist and twirl her from danger. It was hard work, one that captivated all of your attention.

Good. You needed the distraction.

BOOM!

Cherries’ explosions began, the next line of defense before the Exorcists reached Sir Pentious and his battery of cannons.

This was good! Things were looking good!

Fuck you might actually all make it out of this thing.

BAM!

The next thing you knew, you were on the ground, a pain so powerful ripping through your core it blinded every sense, every fiber of your being.

Green light exploded from the scar which cut you from neck to hip, a beacon of agony which temporarily halted the onslaught from Heaven as Human Sinners and Angels alike were forced to shield their eyes. The wall of light shot up into the atmosphere of Hell before dispersing into a rainstorm of sparks that fell upon the whole of Pentagram City.

You felt, rather than saw, hands upon you. The green had burned your retinas, completely blinding you. Your body healed fast, however, but not fast enough to clearly make out the fuzzy grey/red blob shaking your shoulders.

“Come on, kid! Come on! Don’t quit on me!”

The pain numbed your body, but your Angelic blood quickly fought against it. Your fingers and toes tingled as your mind reset itself over and over again. Where are you? What happened? The memory of pain threatened to spill as the ability to breathe found your lungs, as your eyes remembered how to blink.

“Holy Hell, what da fuck was that!?”

“I don’t fucking know, but both Boss and her went down at the same time.”

“What da fuck kind of Voodoo shit did he do ta ‘er?”

You forced your mind to clarity, forced the blurriness into - somewhat - sharper objects. A vague outline of Husk and Angel came into view, along with a background of Exorcist Angels flying overhead. The fighting had resumed despite the interruption.

“Husk?” You mumbled. Grabbing onto the cat’s paw, you slowly pulled yourself into a sitting position. Despite the pain which had surged through your scar, no wound was visible. You hadn’t been struck after all. “What…?”

There was a pull behind your navel - it was weak, oh-so weak.

Alarm bells immediately went off.

Alastor.

Without a thought, you shoved away from the cat demon and shot into the air, not caring that your wings were now on full display for the entire Angelic Army to view. Not caring that the hood Charlie helped make you was now shredded to pieces.

You hit the roof, landing practically on top of the red and black mass crumbled in a heap of blood. Using your black wings, you attempted to shield as much of Alastor as you could.

You couldn’t make out Alastor completely, your vision was still sluggish to return despite you willing your blood to heal as fast as it could, but you could feel him. You could feel his heart beating wildly, feel the pain with every breath, feel the one ounce of panic the Overlord allowed himself to feel in this moment as he watched you take up a defensive fighting stance over his prone form.

The demon was hurt and bad.

Like a panther protecting her wounded mate, you unleashed the full force of your power. Dark and twisted horns grew from your skull as you morphed into your demon form. A spiked tail uncurled from your backside, your fingernails sharpened into claws, and your fangs elongated to a point. The sclera of your eyes flashed black as the rune on your back was unlocked, the text from the Book of Knowledge melting into your hands, forming an exoskeleton of Newtonian fluid that flowed over your appendages.

As your vision healed, the Angel’s stupid helmet sharpened, a look of pure shock reflected in the metal. Adam had his guitar and Alastor’s blood was still fresh as it dripped off the blade.

“Don’t…” Alastor protested, but his sentence was cut off with a cough.

“Mikaela?” Adam’s jaw dropped.

Your only response was a low growl. Pure instinct had kicked in. You were more animal than Angel.

You felt the coldness of Rolf wrap around your ankle, but it was barely a whisper compared to how solid the shadow normally felt. The shadow tugged, threatening to whisk you away from the rooftop, but be it the weakening of Alastor’s magic or your stubbornness, you did not move.

“Holy shit, it is you! How you doing, sister?” The First Man smiled, lowering his sword.

Behind you, you could feel the blood flowing from Alastor’s chest as real and as solid as it would your own. It only added to the panic and anger and desperation you were feeling in this moment.

“Where’s Eve?” The Angel looked around as if the Second Woman might turn the corner at any moment and join the conversation.

“Dead,” you bore your teeth and growled, your voice laced with Alastor’s radio static.

“What?” Adam did a double-take.

You pulled your sword from the Void, your blue fire licking the steel’s surface as small green bouts of static danced its way down your arm and disappeared into the heat. “And you’re next,” you threatened, your voice filled with static.

“Wait,” Adam narrowed his eyes, his pupils darting back and forth between the two of you as he slowly put the pieces together. “Wait. Wait. Wait.” He put up a hand. “You’re defending this loser?”

You growled, your teeth itching to sink into flesh.

Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. A voice rang in the back of your head.

“Woah, there, sister. We’re on the same fucking team!” Adam had a look of pure terror on his face.

From your crouched position on the ground, you moved forward.

Adam immediately dropped his sword and began backing up. “Listen! Listen! Listen!” He stammered. “Let’s just take a fucking second and talk like bros. Okay?” His laugh was strained. “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation for why you’re down here defending the scum of existence? Ha, ha. Right?”

Kill him, the voice commanded.

You growled again and attempted to take another step forward, but a clawed hand wrapped around your tail and tugged. Finally, you turned to face Alastor and the sight knocked you out of your bloodthirsty trance.

The demon was pale, a deep gouge sliced right across his chest in an exact mirror image to your injury from Velvette. You felt the anger flee from you then, only to be replaced with pure terror. You met Alastor’s stern eye and the look he shot you stopped you dead in your tracks.

But it was already too late. All of Heaven had seen. Mikaela Morningstar was alive and well in Hell, defending Lucifer’s daughter in a battle against Heaven. You had killed Exorcists. A war was brewing, and you were a part of it.

The demon shuttered out a pained breath, one you felt reverberate through your own chest. You dropped your sword, the steel popping back into the Void before it even made contact with the ground. Falling to your knees before Alastor, you cupped his face in your hands and pressed a soft but shaky kiss to his forehead.

“What, the fuck?” Adam gawked behind you.

Every part of you was screaming to rip the Angel limb from limb, but you fought the instinct, and instead channeled that energy into the connection that had ripped open between you and Alastor. You let your magic flow through your inky fingers and into the demon, willing his heart to beat faster, to slow the blood seeping from his wounds, to staunch the pain in his chest.

Alastor’s eyes fluttered closed as he took a deep breath, already the color returning to his cheeks.

You turned to Adam then, your black sclera burning pure hatred into the Angel’s heart. “I won’t be the one to kill you today, Adam.”

“I am so fucking confused,” the Angel scratched his head.

“Adam!” Charlie appeared atop the rooftop, royally pissed as she hung from the Hotel sign.

And with that, you shadowed the two of you from the rooftop, landing in the only place you could think of to go right now: Alastor’s radio tower.

Atop the balcony, you pulled the clip from your hair and slit open your wrist, dripping a waterfall of golden blood into Alastor’s wounds.

“Stop,” the demon tried to shove your hand away, but he was too weak at this moment to do anything other than lay there and breathe.

Clenching your jaw shut, you didn’t let up until you watched the first stitches of skin begin to form. Jesus Christ, the wound was deep. It had cut through several ribs but, thankfully, had not nicked his heart. Alastor would have been dead before you had even landed on that rooftop had it gone any deeper.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! You knew! You fucking knew this was going to happen!

A tear fell from your cheek and landed in the mixture of black and gold liquid swirling atop the demon’s chest.

“Stop,” Alastor said more forcefully. The demon wrapped a hand around your wrist, the golden liquid bubbling through his fingers. He pulled you down into him and pressed his forehead into yours. “I’m alright, my doe.”

“This is my fault,” your voice cracked. Green static danced across your skin, your demon form still out in full force. Sucking in a breath, you forced yourself to your feet. Sinking your inky hands into your hair, you paced the floor, your wings dragging behind you.

Alastor’s magic jumped off your form in sparks. Which was impossible but you didn’t have the mental room to even consider why.

Alastor had almost died! He could’ve died! Adam almost killed him!

“My doe,” Alastor attempted to sit up, but the pain from the wound was too much, his body demanding every ounce of power to heal.

“My fault,” you shuttered. “My fault. My fault. My fault!” You bent over the handrail and threw up.

Alastor jumped to his feet then, one hand wrapped around his middle to stop his insides from spilling out. “Mikaela!”

Using his cane for support, the demon forced himself to stand next to you. His red irises bled into your soul, his brow crinkled with worry.

Your entire body was shaking as he wrapped his arms around you. “It was not your fault.”

“We almost lost you,” you mumbled into his coat jacket, drenched in blood.

“We?”

____________________________________________

Somewhere Else in Hell…

“Ha, ha,” Striker plucked the cigar from his mouth and tapped the lit end into the cement lining of the roof.

The imp pulled the rifle to his shoulder and aligned the scope with his eye. “Too easy.”

And pulled the trigger.

____________________________________________

You saw the bullet before you heard it.

BANG!

The metal object soared towards you as if in slow motion, the iconic swirls of Angelic Steel clearly coating its surface.

But the bullet meant for you did not hit its mark.

For Alastor shoved you at the last moment, appearing between you and the shooter.

Red irises met yours, “Mourir d’amour, vivre de haine…”

The bullet met its mark right between Alastor’s eyes.

Dying for love…

“Nooo!”

The demon went down, his cane smacking against the metal balcony in an explosion of green sparks.

You spun, immediately knowing where the bullet originated from. You didn’t care who or what was on the other end. Fuck you didn’t even care why.

Kill, the voice echoed as a blast of dark ink shot out from your hand. Like a wave of a tsunami, the mass collided with the building the shooter was perched atop of, taking out the top twenty floors. You swung down, collapsing the building in on itself in one fell swoop.

Whoever it was - plus the inhabitants of the building - were dead.

“Alastor!” You screamed as you collapsed onto the ground next to him. Dark blood pooled beneath his head. The wound between his eyes steamed with green as his magic desperately fought to heal.

But fought in vein.

You watched as Alastor’s eyes fogged with the veil of death.

“No! No! No!”

And felt his Soul fade from his body.

“Alastor!”

You screamed. You begged. You cried.

“Don’t!”

You even heard yourself begging with God to let him live.

“You promised you wouldn’t leave me again!”

But you could do nothing as his Soul slipped from his body…

“No! Don’t! You can’t!”

… and faded from this world entirely.

“Don’t leave…”

Alastor was dead.

“Don’t leave us…”

____________________________________________

You don’t know how long you lay there.

Minutes?

Hours?

Days?

Years?

Long enough that Alastor had grown cold next to you. Long enough that the blood began to crust against your skin. Long enough that your joints hurt and your body begged to move.

He was gone.

Alastor was gone.

You curled into him, praying somehow your warmth might leech into him and warm his cold body back to life. Praying he’d brush a hand through your hair and tell you everything was going to be alright.

Praying this was just a dream.

Praying that you were the one dead instead.

Praying that you were both dead and this was some sick version of Purgatory Father had concocted for you as a punishment.

“Al…” You mumbled into his jacket, your fingers curling around his lapel as if he would fade beneath your touch entirely.

Too soon. Too fast.

And all your fault.

All your fault…

And then your fingers brushed something hard.

In his jacket, hidden away in a pocket you didn’t know he had, was a small leather box.

Fuck.

No. No. No. No. No.

Sitting up with alarm, you dropped it on the balcony and scooted away.

That better not be what you think it is.

Open it.

You jumped.

A young woman with hair as brown as mud and eyes to match sat across from you. Cross legged, arms folded neatly in her lap as her curls pooled down her back, the girl stared intently at the small leather box.

Open it, she repeated.

You didn’t respond, your mind was too preoccupied with trying to comprehend how this was happening.

It’s a ring, obviously, but you already knew that. You think that’s why he was so distracted today? She motioned to the blood. So distracted he didn’t even notice the fawn growing in your womb. How pathetic…

“Shut up!” You bit, your throat raw from years of crying.

Ouch. Is that anyway to greet an old friend? Oh, wait, sorry. Were we even friends? I mean, you did murder me and all. Did Alastor…

“I said, shut up, Eve!”

Her eyes found the box once more. Do you think he’s an emerald man or a diamond man? Emerald is more classic for the 30s but diamonds! Ugh, I’m just dying to know, aren’t you?

She went for the box, but you were faster. You held it against your heart, “Don’t touch it!”

Eve gasped, Is that why he asked you to take him to Louisiana to visit his Mother!? Awww, he stayed behind to tell his Mom about the ring. How sweet. Too bad she wasn’t actually there. - ya know, being in Heaven and all. But I suppose it’s the thought that counts.

“Why are you here?” The words seeped out from behind clenched teeth.

She smirked. Because you let me out.

You followed her eyes to your hand, still black from the ink. You never sealed the power away after desecrating the building.

Fuck, you were still in your demon form.

You’ve never let me out this long before. Figured it was time to stretch my legs and finally introduce myself. She stood and made her way to you, stretching her limbs as she went. Holding a hand out to you she made to help you stand.

Hello, I’m the Book of Knowledge, but you can call me Eve and we are going to have so much fun together.

You didn’t take her hand.

Your eyes found the dark jacket seeped in blood laying a few feet away.

You went to him, your fingers brushing the curls away from his face. With his eyes closed he looked as if he was sleeping - so peaceful.

Even in death Alastor smiled.

The girl frowned, clearly annoyed that you weren’t giving her your full undivided attention. What about power and chaos, and all that jazz? What about revenge!?

To power and chaos…

Your hand found your belly. “There is no power and chaos without him.” Pressing a kiss to his forehead. You whispered, “I love you, too.”

Wait, so that’s it? Eve threw her hands in the air. The plan is over? The big Endgame we’ve been planning for over one hundred years is just done!?

You stood, “New plan.”

New plan? Eve scrunched her nose. What new plan?

You smiled softly, the dark ink slowly invading your arm, “The one where everyone dies.”

Oh! Oh! Oh! I like that plan. Where do we start?

You turned to the pile of rubble 100 yards away. “Greed.”

*Yes, this is totally where Emily in Paris is shot lol

Annnnnnnd yet another cliff hanger. Come on guys you know me by now. Not everything is as it seems!

Hang in there :)

-> My Fawn & My Shadow: Epilogue

Tagged Hoteliers: (Let me know if you wish to be added!):

@sirens-and-moonflowers @wonderlandangelsposts @saccharine-nectarine @goyablogsstuff @mommymilkers0526 @eris-norwega

@missgirlsstuff @alastor-the-radio-demon @sillywormtrixareforkids

@its-a-dam-blue-brick @cloverresin20 @blue-bird251 @speedycoffeedelight @littlebluefishtail @sawi1987 @mopeyghost

@beelz3bub @fraugwinska @minamilinaqueen @demoarah @diffidentphantom @divineknightmare @animecrazy76 @sleepykittycx @graunta @reath-solia @satansdaughter123 @mysticatto @freshonyourpages @chibistar45 @rapunzelbro

@stephydearestxo

[nondelphic]

hey! i was wondering if you have any advice for me: I am wanting to write an epic/high fantasy book, and i started with my worldbuilding, then i moved to characters and their individual arcs. my main struggle is coming up with the overarching plot, the main conflict. any tips for coming up with ideas?

thanks for the ask, anon!! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) ♡⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

tbh i don't have a lot of experience writing fantasy, but! just because i don't have "a lot" doesn't mean i don't have any!! i was in a similar situation to you literally just a few weeks ago when i started worldbuilding and outlining a fantasy plot :D

so!! i'll just tell you the process of how i came up with my plot!! i hope it can help somewhat!

♡ pulling from your worldbuilding

the beauty of worldbuilding and having complete characters is that you literally have everything you need to START writing. but as you said, coming up with an overarching plot can be difficult. i don't know how extensive your worldbuilding is, but for me, my planning included a list of major historical events/eras in my fantasy world. from this, i just decided "okay, the plot is gonna take place during the *insert historical era from my fantasy world*."

then i'd think "okay... what was society like during this historical period?" what kind of power struggles, conflicts, or changes were happening at that time?" from there, the plot practically started writing itself! by narrowing down a specific time and place within your world, you're essentially placing your characters in a pressure cooker of events that are naturally going to generate conflict.

♡ character-driven plot

another approach you can take is to look at your characters’ arcs and ask yourself what situations would force them to grow or challenge their beliefs. think about what each character wants most in life—what would happen if they couldn’t get it? or what if they got it, but at a great cost? you can build the main conflict around these personal stakes, and that can really help drive your plot forward.

for example: say you have different species in your fantasy world, and one of your main characters belongs to a species that’s an outlier in their geographical area. maybe this species has been historically oppressed, or they’re seen as a threat due to some misunderstood ability or ancient conflict. you could focus on how your character fits into the world—they might struggle with their identity, trying to prove their worth in a society that fears or rejects them. this inner conflict could be the spark for a much larger plot, like starting a rebellion or becoming the key to resolving a long-standing feud between species. their personal journey, then, could naturally tie into the broader conflict of your story.

the key here is to use the uniqueness of your character's background and situation to fuel the plot. how they navigate the world around them can lead to choices and events that shape the entire story!

♡ external threats

sometimes the easiest way to spark an overarching plot is by introducing a big external threat. it could be anything from an invading empire, a natural disaster, or even a rising rebellion. something that shakes up the world your characters are comfortable in and forces them into action. this external conflict can intersect with their personal journeys and create some interesting tension.

♡ combining personal and world stakes

the most gripping plots often combine both personal and external stakes. maybe your character is fighting for their home or family, but there’s a much larger political or magical conflict brewing that they become a part of. it’s not just about saving themselves, but the entire kingdom or world. the trick is to make sure the personal stakes are always tied into the larger conflict, so it feels cohesive.

♡ take inspiration from your fav fantasy works

don’t be afraid to pull ideas from the things you love! if a specific scene, mission, or plotline really stuck with you in a book, game or movie, ask yourself why. for example, when i came up with my fantasy plot, i was inspired by a mission in the witcher 3 where geralt and triss are navigating the tunnels under novigrad. triss, living in secret as a mage, is forced to use these hidden passageways to carry out her plans. i remember thinking, “hmm… tunnels or catacombs are a great way for people with secret missions to carry out said missions!” that one detail sparked an entire subplot for me, where certain characters use an underground network to secretly move around, gather intel, and plot revolutions.

you can take bits and pieces from your favorite stories and use them as springboards for your own original ideas. sometimes it’s a specific setting, a character dynamic, or even the vibe of a scene that can get your creative wheels turning. the key is to make it your own and let it evolve naturally in your world!

i hope these ideas don't sound too "obvious" or like "well, duh," but rather a reminder that you've already done the worldbuilding, so use it!!

good luck with your epic fantasy!! sending digital hugs filled with all the creative energy i have left today to you and anyone else reading this (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

[zerbu]

Project Squealer BIG REVEAL

Calling all mystery buffs, adventure seekers, and gumshoe wannabes!

I am developing MY OWN INDIE GAME under the working title PROJECT SQUEALER! In this action-packed adventure RPG game, a disease called Laughter Pox has plagued the town, and it's up to three kid detectives to investigate!

These days, I'm mostly known for making mods for The Sims 4, but I've been interested in game development as far back as 2009. In fact, I originally bought The Sims 3 for PC back in 2012 as a tool to plan out characters and worlds, before becoming hooked on the gameplay. For a long time, The Sims was my main creative outlet, but I was still coming up with game ideas in the background.

Skip ahead to mid 2016: while playing with my Go to School mod, I needed to create some child characters to fill the school with. I created two rival teams of kid detectives, and came up backstories and mysteries for them to solve. I ended up liking these characters far more than any other characters I had created. They felt like my creative masterpiece, begging for something bigger than just creations made in a character creator.

That's when "Project Squealer" started brewing in my brain. This indie RPG wasn't just some vague idea; I was developing full-blown stories, environments, and gameplay planned for my kid detectives. I also had the perfect art style in my head. Emphasis on in my head.

Turns out, bringing my dream art style to life was way harder than I thought. So hard, in fact, that I spent the next few years learning how to create art. It took until 2020 to finally have character and environment art that could (almost) pass for pro-level game stuff. Not only that, the project was undergoing what indie devs refer to as scope creep. I kept adding more and more ideas to the design doc, making the game more complex and pushing the release date even further into the future. In 2018, I even decided to move from 2D to 3D, and switched engines from MonoGame to Unity (and later to Unreal Engine 5 in 2023).

Now, it's 2024, and I'm finally, finally ready to announce what I've been working on for the past 6 years!

Project Squealer is the working title for my own indie game about a team of three kid detectives: Orlo (middle), Von (left) and Zoros (right). Together, they go on adventures and solve mysteries… or at least they would, if they weren't constantly having their business stolen by a rival detective team.

In this action-packed adventure game, a mysterious disease known as Laughter Pox has plagued the town, causing people to laugh hysterically. Where is it coming from? How can it be cured? It's up to our detectives to find out! If they can convince others to trust them with such an important mission, that is!

Project Squealer uses a hybrid of 2D and 3D graphics to create a 2D cartoon look with full 3D movement. Characters and some organic objects are 2D sprites that move with the camera. Most environments, objects and buildings are 3D, but have texture-based outlines to give it a 2D look.

The game features a variety of different quests, characters, abilities, enemies, locations, weapons and items. In addition to the main storyline, you can help out NPCs by performing "errands" for them, which will unlock cool rewards and even side missions.

Unlike many RPG games, Project Squealer won't include a character level system, because I want the player to be able to progress using their own skill, not by grinding levels. One of the game's main design philosophies is that there are few, if any, permanent upgrades. Weapons will eventually break, status effects that make your stronger will eventually expire, etc.

Project Squealer is still in relatively early development. I plan to post more information, screenshots, and eventually even videos, as it gets closer to release. Follow my Twitter for quicker updates: https://twitter.com/ZerbuTabek

Your support and feedback is welcome, and will help improve the game!

[fragilefirstchance]

It's Either Tourist Traps or Drugs

Gen, family-centric, rated T or M depending on installment

Do you like longfics? Gen fics? Reflective, OC-centric examinations of family dynamics? Maybe you'd like my fic!

Hi! I am not generally speaking active on Tumblr, but I just completed Part 5 of a fanfiction that is almost 150k words and which shows no signs of slowing down soon. I figured I'd show it to class. :)

Fragile First Chance and its follow-ups is a story about a nineteen-year-old boy whose legal name is Joss William [redacted] Pines but if you call him anything except Will you might end up in a fistfight. It's also a story about how the Pineses are basically good people with a lot of baggage.

Major themes are tagged and optional content warnings for individual chapters are included in drop-down tabs in the notes. For the most part, heavier themes are not gratuitous.

Below the cut you'll find a rough outline of each section. If you don't want spoilers, though, just head on over.

This story was well under way before The Book of Bill came out. It isn't perfectly TBoB compliant, but the themes and plot aren't really something that makes that an issue.

Part 1: Fragile First Chance

Dipper and Mabel Pines were sent to Gravity Falls at the beginning of summer for, from their perspective, no reason. In reality, it was because they were being sheltered from some very old family drama.

Will is May's son from her first marriage and Fil's son by adoption. He's nineteen years old, just getting out of his second incarceration, and a recovering addict. They planned to put him up for a few months, and after that Fil's weird black-sheep uncle agreed to give him a shot in Oregon.

Ford, of course, knew nothing about this. He's not happy about it.

Part 2: Learning to Breathe

Will and Ford are slowly acclimating to each other like two feral cats. They don't really have anything in common except insomnia and a mutual desperate quest not to get in too many fights.

Will doesn't like Gravity Falls. It's lonely, there's nothing to do, and it's full of weird bullshit he doesn't want to deal with. He's coping, though - Soos is pretty cool, the local teens are entertaining, and he ends up getting a long really well with the local bait shop guy and his dad.

Part 3: When Family Matters

Will has started to figure out how Ford works and make an effort to be nice to him. He also tentatively almost likes the guy. (cue Stan audibly sighing in relief off-screen.)

Also: Dipper and Mabel have figured out that their long-lost brother has reappeared, and there are certain family traditions about how you deal with long-lost brothers.

Part 4: Lancing the Wound

Ford and Will are both under a phenomenal amount of stress for a wide variety of reasons. By this point in the story, words like "panic attack" and "therapy" are coming up more often. They have more in common than they ever realized, although for two people with severe abuse-related PTSD, that's not necessarily a good thing.

The McGuckets are around to help. The Twins are too, although whether that's a good thing is open to debate.

Part 5: Nature versus Nurture

In the wake of Part 4, Stanford Pines is coming to realize that his mental health is a much more serious problem than he had previously realized. He struggles to come to terms with this and decide what to do next. This segment of the story is primarily about self-reflection and realizing that you need to change. We also get some serious discussions about the mental health industry (and how it tied into the gay scene in the 70s) by people who are personally invested in it.

Part 6: Definition of a Real Pines

This story arc just started and concerns Ford navigating his life as he tries to re-integrate with his family and society while working through a very difficult mental health situation.

We'll get to meet more of the Pines family. Shermie lives in Florida with his sister-in-law. (Note for those curious about the timeline incongruities: Shermie's age is- wait, look over there! *smokebomb, jumps out the window*)

Bonus: Erastus Kankerson's Toxic Ex

This is a stand-alone one-shot about Erastus Kankerson, an old friend of Fiddleford McGucket who dated him for a while after the divorce.

[canonicallyobserving911]

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Exciting update: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!” - Currently 25 chapters completed: 973.1K Words; Rated: Mature

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Exciting Update: The number of chapters for this fic has been increased from 30 to 40!

Before I explain why I increased the number of chapters, I would like to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU 😊🤗😁💕 to everyone who has been reading my massive multi-chapter fanfic and I would also like to say WELCOME to anyone who would like to begin reading it. I really appreciate everyone's supportive and encouraging words and please know that I read every AO3 comment that's posted and I respond to all of them.

This fic is Buck's and Eddie's FANON EPIC LOVE STORY and IMO, it has taken them places the show refuses to go!

I've loved every minute I've spent writing it and I'm looking forward to writing even more of it. Currently it's at almost 1 million words but when I first started writing it last year, I had no idea I would be this far along with it because my initial plan was for the fic to only be 12 chapters. Then I changed the amount in AO3 to undecided (?) but after I posted chapter 9 or 10, I decided 30 chapters would be sufficient.

However, after I completed chapters 24 & 25, I took a week or so to review all the things I want to include in it going forward. Once I did, I had to be honest with myself regarding the 5 remaining chapters because I realized they won't be enough. Therefore, I outlined everything that's still to come and decided to increase the fic by 10 more chapters so the Diaz family's story along with Buck's, Eddie's and Chris' individual stories will get the attention I believe they deserve.

At the end of 2023, I posted on Tumblr and indicated my plan was to finish the entire fic before the start of season 7 but that's not going to happen. Also, for those who have been reading along, I want to assure you that just because the new season is set to begin in three days, that doesn't mean this fic is over. It's NOT FINISHED because there's so much more I have planned for the characters and I will continue writing it until I've posted all 40 chapters. If my timeline works the way I'm hoping, my new plan is to complete it during the hiatus after season 7 ends but before season 8 (if there is one) begins.

There's so much more to come for Buck, Eddie and Chris and a quick reminder, just because Buck and Eddie are married and Buck has adopted Chris, all three of their stories will continue.

Here are of the things that still need to be completed.

Eddie's still working towards obtaining two more paramedic certifications so he can become the Critical Care Paramedic of Los Angeles County.

Chris still has to complete the video game he's working on with his classmates.

Buck is still on medical leave and after they returned to L.A.; he told Eddie he didn't know if he wanted to go back to the 118. The question is will he or is he going to find new employment? 👀

Furthermore, Buck and Eddie put a bid in on a house while they were in Italy. Are they going to get it? 🙃

Chapter 25 ended with a massive cliffhanger and the person who sent Buck the package still has to be revealed. 🥹

Finally, their vow renewal ceremony is scheduled for May 2024 and they're going back to Italy for the entire month of June. Adriana's sons are going with them but Buck and Eddie still have to talk with Chris about the University of Florence's summer program when he returns home and they still have to talk to Adri and Tonio to see if Chris' cousins can go too.

So, please believe me when I say there's so much more in store for them and that's why I believe adding 10 additional chapters will allow me to continue to tell their story in a way that's not rushed and I won't have to include any time jumps to fit it all in.

Thank you again for reading, commenting in AO3 and for reblogging the posts about this fic. I really appreciate everyone's support and encouragement.

AND REMEMBER... THIS FANFIC WON'T BE FINISHED UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER HAS BEEN POSTED!

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This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

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Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.

Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?

Chapter 26 - Will be posted soon.

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Read chapters 1-25 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[robininthelabyrinth]

Delight in Misery - Chapter 12

A/N: Someone reminded me that they really did want to see where this one went, so I went and dug up it up again. Here's one more chapter, at least, and we'll see if I can continue to bring it to a close or if I'll just post the rest of my outline.

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“This is the most humiliating moment in my life,” Jiang Cheng said.

Lan Wangji considered it for a moment, then said, “I agree.”

Jiang Cheng glared at him.

“I meant that it is my most humiliating moment, as well,” Lan Wangji clarified, and the glare disappeared, Jiang Cheng letting his head fall back on the ground with a thump.

“I can’t believe this,” he muttered, staring blankly at the sky. “I really just can’t believe this.”

Lan Wangji sighed.

And the day had started out so promisingly, too.

Or at least Lan Wangji had allowed himself to be deceived into thinking it was going promisingly – and that, he supposed, was the problem. He really ought to have learned by now that nothing with Jiang Cheng ever went easily.

Jiang Cheng had stormed away after their conversation with Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen, refusing to even listen to Lan Wangji’s explanations about why they needed to help them with Wen Ning – Lan Wangji had several, all perfectly plausible, that he’d been planning to use, and had planned to only use the real one (that Wen Ning was someone that Wei Wuxian had cared deeply for and would probably want them to help) as a last resort, but he hadn’t gotten to use any of them. Instead, when he’d knocked on Jiang Cheng’s door, he’d been met with a shout that went along the lines that Jiang Cheng had already understood the necessity of helping Wen Ning and accepted it and agreed with it so there was no need to pester him, which had thoroughly cut off most of the rebuttals Lan Wangji would have made.

Lan Wangji had debated making his way in regardless – Jiang Cheng would never actually block the door from him – but ultimately concluded that it was probably one of those times when Jiang Cheng just needed time to cool off. It wasn’t worth pushing him, not when they had guests…not when his temper was so uncertain, as it always was on matters relating to Wei Wuxian.

In the morning, he decided. He’d talk to him in the morning.

He hadn’t gotten the chance.

The moment he stepped out of his room the next morning he discovered that Jiang Cheng had already kicked into a frenzy of activity, which meant he probably hadn’t slept more than a shichen or two. The entire endeavor would be cloaked as a common night-hunt to try to deceive Xue Yang into not realizing that he was their real target, and he’d already pulled together all the things that needed to be arranged for that proposed night-hunt, including several teams that would be sent out to hide the direction they were really going. By the time Lan Wangji caught up with him, Jiang Cheng was already pushing Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen to identify some towns near the area Xue Yang had last been seen and where they’d found Wen Ning.

He’d also pushed them to agree to start to set out as soon as possible, and unsurprisingly they’d agreed.

Lan Wangji thought there might be a little time to talk when Xiao Xingchen had bowed out to go fetch Wen Ning, but apparently they’d kept him quite close as they were back in almost no time at all, not enough time to coax any sort of real discussion out of Jiang Cheng, who was at the moment pretending Lan Wangji didn’t exist – and then, once Wen Ning arrived, even Lan Wangji didn’t have much desire to speak.

Wen Ning was dressed in ragged clothing, his hair hung loose and limp on his shoulders, his limbs bound with chains – his eyes were pure white and his veins raised and black, an inhuman snarl on his lips of the sort that had graced that mindless corpse filled with rage. It was probably what he’d been like all that time ago on the Burial Mounds, before Wei Wuxian had managed to get his consciousness back…it was as if Wei Wuxian had never done anything to him, never returned him to himself, never helped him.

Lan Wangji had barely been able to look at him before.

But all of that jealousy had suddenly seemed useless and petty.

Of course, Jiang Cheng could have spelled his name with the characters for petty and jealous. He hadn’t had any such issues with Wen Ning’s wretched appearance, or at least he hadn’t seemed to – he’d just dealt with the matter practically, ordering his most trusted subordinates to put Wen Ning into a warded storeroom for safekeeping. It happened to be the same one that they used to interrogate demonic cultivators, though Lan Wangji suspected it wasn’t entirely a coincidence.

(He’d been briefly distracted by rolling his eyes in fond amusement at how predictable Jiang Cheng was sometimes, and when he next focused Jiang Cheng had already bound Wen Ning into an array to restrict his movement and posted guards all around.)

“Are you sure about this?” Xiao Xingchen asked anxiously, his eyes drifting over Wen Ning.

“Very sure,” Jiang Cheng said harshly, seemingly cold and careless, the way that had led so many outsiders to misunderstand him in all these years. “Stopping Xue Yang is the priority. Once he’s dead, we’ll help you figure out how to fix up Wen Ning, as agreed.”

But then he hesitated briefly.

“…why didn’t you try taking out the nails?”

That was Jiang Cheng in a nutshell, Lan Wangji reflected. Harsh and prickly on the outside, soft on the inside.

“We didn’t dare,” Song Zichen replied solemnly. “For fear of side effects.”

Jiang Cheng nodded, accepting it, then waved his hand and ordered Jiang Meimei to watch over the children while they went out night-hunting. Lan Wangji had known, of course, that Jiang Cheng could be brutally efficient, but it was still a pleasure to see the Lotus Pier in set into swift and efficient motion: goodbyes were said to the children, work was handed over to the proper places, a delegation of trusted disciples capable of handling themselves selected and prepared, and then they were ready for an immediate departure.

There’d been no time to fret or worry, for Jiang Cheng to torment himself with doubts and self-blame – or so Lan Wangji had thought. Even after they’d arrived to the area Xiao Xingchen had indicated, he was just as efficient, assigning everyone into pairs like he would for a normal night-hunt, sending Xiao Xingcheng and Song Zichen one way and taking Lan Wangji along with him in another…

Lan Wangji thought that Jiang Cheng was handling this whole business remarkably well.

That belief had lasted right up until the pit.

They’d been walking down one of the more obscure paths between the various towns, looking for any trace of a demonic cultivator or any other sign that Xue Yang might have passed this way or that, and there had unexpectedly been a trap laid right in the middle of the path, a gigantic pit opening up under their feet.

Not that such a trap was much of a threat to a cultivator, of course. Lan Wangji had leapt up at once, easily evading it, but for whatever reason, Jiang Cheng had not, falling in with the rocks and the dirt.

Lan Wangji waited, but Jiang Cheng didn’t get out, either.

So he went in after him.

Jiang Cheng was lying on his back and staring up at the sky. He appeared unharmed.

Lan Wangji walked over and looked down at him. After a moment, he extended a foot and prodded at Jiang Cheng’s leg with his toe.

“What,” Jiang Cheng said, sounding irritable.

“I was only wondering when your legs had stopped working,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng snorted and turned his head away.

“After all, if they were working, you could have jumped out, rather than fall in.” Lan Wangji glanced around the pit they were in. It was impressively deep – the rim of the pit was at least twice his height – but that was absolutely nothing to a cultivator. “You could in fact jump out now.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.”

Ah, Lan Wangji thought to himself, I see how it is.

He really should have expected something like this.

He swept his sleeves back and sat down, settling his clothing around him in a comfortable manner, and reflected to himself that this was probably going to take a while for Jiang Cheng to get over himself.

Not that Lan Wangji wouldn’t help, of course.

 “Would you like to talk about it?” he asked in his most irritatingly solicitous manner.

“Fuck off.”

As expected.

Lan Wangji had long since figured Jiang Cheng out. When bad things happened, Jiang Cheng generally started by getting angry and trying to solve the problem, often violently. When it turned out that the problem wasn’t something that could be solved straightforwardly, he would scream and shout as if he could vent out all his emotions, never causing real damage beyond the most superficial insults that anyone who knew him could easily ignore. Eventually, the storm would pass, and things would resolve themselves one way or the other.

Lan Wangji had, by now, years of experience in dealing with this type of Jiang Cheng.

For matters relating to his parents or sister or Wei Wuxian, though, he’d found that Jiang Cheng had a far less tenable set of reactions. He would turn his violent anger inwards, his mind growing unstable with guilt and self-hatred squeezed into an irrational hatred of everything around him, his never easy temperament worsened by many degrees; he would blame himself for everything, tormenting himself with questions that would never be answered, castigating himself for things that were not and could not have been his fault. If not prevented or distracted, he could even start harming himself through too much work and too little sleep, as if he thought he could simply will himself into having enough strength to never let anyone he loved down ever again.

That was the present Jiang Cheng.

“I thought you’d decided to stop doing this,” Lan Wangji said after a little while had passed without any developments. “On account of not wanting to show the children a bad example.”

“Fuck off.”

In fact, Jiang Cheng had gotten far better these past few years. If Lan Wangji were being honest, they had helped each other get better, dragging each other kicking and screaming down the path towards wellness. No longer did Lan Wangji have to sit by, unable to do anything, as the smell of blood and bile drifted through the wall that separated their rooms, and the days that he classified as Jiang Cheng’s good days – even very good days – were by now far outnumbering the occasional bad ones.

Lan Wangji himself had been getting better, too. Jiang Cheng no longer had to make uncalled for and very pointed comments about unhealthy coping mechanisms, whether alcohol or seclusion or playing guqin until his fingers were raw and bleeding, staying awake to avoid the nightmares or retreating into a stony silence that worried everyone around him – it had taken a series of extremely vicious fights that involved throwing the word ‘hypocrite’ around to make Lan Wangji sore enough to truly rededicate himself to regulating his conduct.

After all, he was a Lan, however differently situated and distanced he’d gotten from the Cloud Recesses. What was the point of wearing his forehead ribbon if he couldn’t exercise self-discipline?

Certainly he could exercise it better than Jiang Cheng.

Lan Wangji meditated on a time on the idea that perhaps Jiang Cheng was his punishment for arrogance.

(Perhaps competitive spite was not quite the behavioral motivator that his ancestors would have preferred, but for a while, it was all Lan Wangji had had. And then, somehow, implausibly, despite himself, it had actually started to work, which was…Lan Wangji was not thinking about that.)

After a long while, Jiang Cheng finally said, “It’s not that bad, actually. It’s just – a lot, that’s all.”

“Mm.”

“…what’s that supposed to mean?” Jiang Cheng eyed him sidelong. “That was a very meaningful ‘mm’.”

“Mm.” Lan Wangji deliberately used the same inflection and tone, not varying it one iota.

“I will kick you.”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes at him until Jiang Cheng seemed to be seriously considering following through on his promise. At that point, Lan Wangji decided to take pity – as much to avoid a footprint on his robes as for Jiang Cheng’s benefit.

“You are experiencing negative emotions in connection with Wen Ning’s reappearance, and your attempt to vent by murdering Xue Yang has been impeded on account of not being able to find him immediately,” he said, his voice carefully monotone and disinterested. It wouldn’t do to show Jiang Cheng that he was emotionally involved in this conversation. “You have accordingly given up on life.”

There were a few more moments of silence.

“…stop knowing me so well. And I haven’t given up on life, I’m just – resting. For a moment. That’s all.”

Lan Wangji pointedly ignored him, repressing the smile that wanted to come to his lips. The fact that Jiang Cheng was talking was, in fact, a good sign, and an indication that he wasn’t doing as bad as all that; he hadn’t lost his reason or become unstable, he wasn’t lashing out, he hadn’t kicked into an unreasonable spiral of self-blame.

Anyway, it wasn’t as if Lan Wangji didn’t have similarly conflicted feelings about Wen Ning that he could use a little more time to work through – and besides, he reasoned, Xue Yang had been on the run for years. He’d be hard to track down, hard to corner, hard to catch.

A short break wouldn’t impede them.

Of course, it was barely any time after he’d thought that when someone came out of the woods near the path they were on and shouted, “Hey, you in there! Fellow strangers! Is something the matter? Do you need help?”

Lan Wangji suppressed a sigh, even as Jiang Cheng twitched, rather violently. Probably he was abruptly becoming aware of how humiliating it would be for cultivators of their status to be found sitting in the bottom of a ditch.

Lan Wangji was also not especially looking forward to that.

He opened his mouth to respond, but unexpectedly, before he could, Jiang Cheng reached out and grabbed his arm, fingers squeezing so tightly that it was almost painful.

Lan Wangji glanced at him, seeking an explanation, but Jiang Cheng shook his head in negation.

“You’re both powerful cultivators, so if everything was all right, you could just jump out,” the person standing above them continued.

Lan Wangji turned his glance at Jiang Cheng into a meaningfully pointed look instead, only to get a crude gesture in return.

Well, at least Jiang Cheng was feeling more like himself.

“I noticed you haven’t jumped out, though, and you haven’t moved for a while…did someone seal your spiritual energy? Is the pit actually a trapping array? Is that why you can’t get out?”

Lan Wangji could feel his eyebrows going up slightly in surprise: clearly, the person who had found them was also a cultivator, apparently, and a clever one, too, to think of valid explanations for their (non-existent) plight.

The part of him that had been assisting Jiang Cheng in running the Lotus Pier for years now immediately thought of recruitment. Much of the current Jiang sect was made up of former rogue cultivators having accepted positions as guest disciples or even been adopted in, yet their ranks were still smaller than the other Great Sects. They could use all the clever cultivators they could find.

Lan Wangji glanced up and saw the face peering down at them from the edge of the pit: his first impression was of shining black eyes and a radiant smile with adorable little tiger teeth that reminded him a little of Mo Xuanyu. The face was handsome, with a high nose bridge and thin red lips, the chin a little pointy in a way that made his whole face seem full of gleeful mischief when he grinned.

It was a nice smile, Lan Wangji thought, cheerful and carefree, and felt a nostalgic tug on his heart.

Even the cultivator’s voice was pleasant enough – light and lively, as if he was at any point on the verge of laughing at some joke as he kept chattering on and on, hypothesizing about reasons they might not be able to get out of the pit, as if he were trying to fill the silence alone. There were a few instances in which he seemed to be attempting to disguise his voice, only to forget a moment later and resume his regular voice, but then he was a little younger than they were; he might just be trying to seem older than he was. They’d certainly encountered rogue cultivators like that before.

“…but I suppose it doesn’t really matter what the reason is! You two just hold on, all right? I’ll go find a rope!”

The face disappeared before Lan Wangji could signal to him that all was well.

Clever, insightful, and resourceful.

“Promising,” Lan Wangji remarked to Jiang Cheng. Naturally he wouldn’t extend an offer of recruitment without approval from the master of the Lotus Pier, especially when Jiang Cheng was there to give it, but Jiang Cheng usually agreed with his assessment –

“You are joking,” Jiang Cheng hissed, and Lan Wangji blinked, surprised at the intensity and venom in his tone. “That was Xue Yang!”

Lan Wangji’s eyes widened. He hadn’t seen Xue Yang before: he had been in seclusion when all of that had happened, though of course he’d heard all about it later from Jiang Cheng. But everyone had been very clear about how ruthless and inhuman and wicked Xue Yang was, how his eyes were full of disdain towards all living things, how his aura was chilling and offensive.

Nothing at all like the young man that he’d seen just now.

“Impossible.”

“Not impossible. Listen, I was at his first trial – I remember what he looked like. There’s no doubt about it. He’s even missing his little finger!”

That did seem conclusive.

“It seems Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen were right to think he was here,” Lan Wangji observed, and put his hand on Bichen. “Why hasn’t he recognized us and fled, though? He must know that no person from a righteous sect would be willing to tolerate his existence.”

“I was lying flat, he probably couldn’t see me,” Jiang Cheng said. “And you’re wearing the wrong color for a Lan.”

Lan Wangji was in fact wearing one of the sets of robes he used for night-hunts around the Lotus Pier. It had seemed wrong, somehow, to allow the merits of his actions to be ascribed to the Lan sect – only his forehead ribbon remained the same, and the style he had long ago grown accustomed to, but the colors were wholly different. The result was something neither quite of the Cloud Recesses nor of the Lotus Pier…yes, he could see how a cultivator with a weaker golden core might not have identified him.

“It could still be a trap,” he pointed out. “Xue Yang did not escape from his captors so many times out of luck. From what you have told me, he is extremely clever, and extremely dangerous. You remember what he nearly did at the Baixue Temple.”

“Of course I remember. I told you about it myself!” Jiang Cheng frowned, then groaned. “I suppose there’s nothing for it. We’ll have to play along for the moment, since it seems that he genuinely thinks our spiritual energy has been locked away. We hide our faces so he doesn’t see, climb up whatever rope he gets us, and when we get up top, attack before he has a chance to put his own plans into action.”

Lan Wangji nodded. “You attack from the front with Zidian, I will come from the side with Bichen; dodging one will lead him into the path of the other. If we are lucky, we can cut off his head before he can summon any fierce corpse to come to his aid.”

It was an approach they’d used with especially vicious demonic cultivators before with success.

“It’s a plan, then.” A pause. “There’s only one problem.”

Lan Wangji raised his eyebrows.

“For this plan to work, we’re going to have to let ourselves get rescued – by Xue Yang.”

Lan Wangji felt his lips purse as if he’d just bitten into a lemon.

“This is the most humiliating moment in my life,” Jiang Cheng announced.

Lan Wangji shook his head but agreed.

Luckily it wasn’t very much later that he heard Xue Yang’s footsteps. Not long after that, the man himself reappeared, still chattering like a monkey – apparently he’d found rope in an old woodcutter’s hut – and then they had to listen to the entire process of him trying to find an appropriately strong tree to tie the rope to, since he didn’t want to risk using his own strength in the event whatever had affected them unexpectedly spread to him.

Lan Wangji spent the time watching Jiang Cheng’s face, which was going through a journey involving at least three epic poems and one war-song that involved self-incineration or possibly honorable suicide.

“All right, update, good news, I finally found a big old one, definitely won’t snap at the first push the way the last one did. This time it’s really going to work. I’m going to throw in the rope now, all right? Stand ready!”

A rope dropped in.

It was helpfully knotted at the end, presumably in case the spiritual suppression that Xue Yang had decided was afflicting them was also affecting their muscles and they needed something to grab onto.

It was very considerate, if utterly unnecessary.

Still, there wasn’t anything for it. Kindness to strangers, if that was what this was rather than some sort of especially clever trap, could not erase all of Xue Yang’s former crimes. They had all agreed: he had to die. They couldn’t even reverse their original position on killing him on sight and try to push for a trial now – a trial was too risky. Xue Yang had escaped too many times before, using the kindness of others as an opportunity to continue to wreck havoc, and Lan Wangji was unwilling to see any more innocent lives be harmed by him.

It did seem a bit of a pity, though. Xue Yang didn’t seem nearly as bad as the stories said…

No, this wasn’t Wei Wuxian all over again. This was different. There were eyewitnesses to Xue Yang’s crimes, which were far more malicious and cruel than anything that had been attributed to Wei Wuxian, and Xue Yang had even admitted to them, swearing that he would continue to act wretchedly.

There was no going back.

Lan Wangji reached out to take the knotted rope in his hand.

Jiang Cheng snatched it away before he could.

Lan Wangji frowned at him, but Jiang Cheng didn’t notice; he was too busy staring at the rope with a slightly wild-eyed expression, like a cat that had just seen a snake.

“Hey, you down there! Did you see the rope? Have you’ve got it now?” The rope jerked a little, meeting resistance from Jiang Cheng’s hands. “Good, I see you have! Now climb up!”

Lan Wangji waited, but Jiang Cheng didn’t move.

Lan Wangji waited more.

“…are you having problems climbing up?” Xue Yang asked. “Do you need me to come pick you up? I could probably manage to carry you in my arms one at a time –”

Lan Wangji had his pride. There was allowing himself to be rescued by the enemy to obtain an advantage in the upcoming battle, and then there was allowing himself to be carried out by a mass-murderer. Intending on forestalling the unthinkable, he reached out and gave Jiang Cheng a firm shove in the shoulder, knocking him sideways and, hopefully, out of his daze.

Jiang Cheng hissed at him like an upset chicken – Lan Wangji owned waterfowl now and was in a position to testify as to the similarity – then turned back to stare at the rope.

“Kuizhou isn’t near the ocean, right?” he asked, voice pitched low. “Or any major river?”

“Not as far as I’m aware, no,” Lan Wangji said slowly, puzzled by the utterly bizarre question. “Why –”

Jiang Cheng was on his feet and leaping out of the pit before he could finish the question, precisely as they’d already agreed they would not do, as it would immediately give away any surprise advantage they might already have.

Lan Wangji gritted his teeth, reminded himself that he actually liked Jiang Cheng most of the time, and leapt up after him.

“What’s this?” Jiang Cheng said, shaking the knot at Xue Yang’s face. “Tell me, what’s this?”

“A…rope?” Xue Yang said hesitantly, his eyes wide as saucer plates – presumably at seeing the great and terrible Sandu Shengshou miraculously appear right in front of him – and for once Lan Wangji’s sympathies were entirely with him. He knew Jiang Cheng very well, better, or so he thought, than anyone else currently yet living, and yet he had no idea what was going through his mind right now.

“Xue Yang,” Lan Wangji said, deciding he was done with this conversation and drawing Bichen. “It’s over.”

“It’s…Lan..? Wait, what are you even wearing – oh shit!”

Xue Yang hopped back, ducking under away from Bichen’s first sweep. Normally, this was when Jiang Cheng would whip out Zidian to tangle in the demonic culivator’s legs, but Jiang Cheng still seemed possessed by whatever had gotten into him; he didn’t do anything.

At any rate, it didn’t matter. From over Xue Yang’s head, Lan Wangji could see Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen cresting the horizon, each one on their sword and shooting toward Xue Yang with grim expressions.

Even if Xue Yang summoned corpses now, it would all be over soon.

“Xue Yang!” Song Zichen called, and Xue Yang turned to look. “Your crimes end today!”

Xue Yang took a step back, but Xiao Xingchen was faster – he was already leaping down, Shuanghua leaping up to his hand in a single graceful movement. His white robes swirled around him, and Lan Wangji was immediately reminded that the cultivation world called him “the bright moon and the gentle breeze”, accompanying Song Zichen’s “distant snow and cold frost”.

His strike was sure and true, perfectly aimed. Xue Yang’s hand dropped to his waist, reaching for Jiangzai, but it would be too late, the attack somehow taking him by surprise despite everything –

The ringing sound of metal on metal was nearly deafening, and Lan Wangji stared in shock: Shuanghua’s beautiful strike had been blocked by Sandu.

By Jiang Cheng.

“What are you doing?” Xiao Xingchen exclaimed, startled, and Lan Wangji wanted to ask the same question.

“Don’t hurt him!” Jiang Cheng shouted back, his teeth pulled back in a snarl. “Don’t you dare!”

Lan Wangji stared at him, wondering if Jiang Cheng’s grief and instability had suddenly driven him utterly mad. Why would he defend Xue Yang, of all people?

It wasn’t the first time Jiang Cheng had acted irregularly or irrationally, of course. Demonic cultivators were always a sensitive spot for him, convinced as he was that Wei Wuxian would one day come back, but those episodes only happened when one of the demonic cultivators they found did something that was too familiar, too reminiscent. That sort of thing only happened during a bad day, a bad time, and Jiang Cheng hadn’t seemed that bad.

He’d been talking, even making jokes. He hadn’t seemed near to the point of mental collapse.

Lan Wangji hadn’t expected such an outburst to happen here, given that Xue Yang had never reminded Jiang Cheng of Wei Wuxian before – and anyway what could have been the trigger? The smiling? The chattering? The improbable rescue?

“He’s been affected by something,” Song Zichen deduced, his voice cold as ever. He was flanking Xiao Xingchen, planning to duck around Jiang Cheng’s defense to skewer Xue Yang, who seemed to be having some trouble maneuvering his own sword for some reason, the blade either refusing to cooperate or his muscles seemingly not answering to the actions he wanted. “Hanguang-jun, restrain Jiang Wanyin. We will help him once Xue Yang has been eliminated.”

Jiang Cheng affected? But with what? What could possibly do –

“Lan Wangji, help me!” Jiang Cheng howled, throwing himself forward against Xiao Xingchen, who he had so admired only a few days earlier, against Wei Wuxian’s martial uncle.

The behavior was truly very uncharacteristic of him, completely unlike him.

Lan Wangji drew Bichen, moving forward –

And blocked Song Zichen’s sword with his own.

“You know what you’re doing,” Lan Wangji told Jiang Cheng, meaning you had better and also I trust you, don’t let me down.

Jiang Cheng shot him a look of desperate gratitude. “Don’t let him get away,” he shouted, and for a moment Lan Wangji thought he meant Song Zichen before realizing he probably meant Xue Yang – where had Xue Yang gone? He’d been there only a moment or so before –

Dividing one’s attention during a fight was never a good idea, and it was even less a good idea when the opponent was as skilled as Song Zichen. In that moment, Song Zichen feinted and brought his sword in, Lan Wangji turning to meet him, but he knew he would be too late –

“Hey! Leave him alone!”

Xue Yang had managed to get his sword out, and now threw himself out of the bushes to try to defend Lan Wangji. It was rather a beautiful move, too, seamlessly interrupting the flow of Song Zichen’s attack while also leaving Lan Wangji enough room to complete his own parry and start a counterattack – it was so well done that Lan Wangji briefly had the illusion that they had fought together before, familiar with each other’s moves.

“Sect Leader Jiang – Hanguang-jun – what are you doing?” Xiao Xingchen asked, utterly bewildered, and Lan Wangji had to admit he felt the same. “Why is he defending you? Why are you defending him? This is Xue Yang!”

“He’s not Xue Yang,” Jiang Cheng snarled. “He’s Wei Wuxian. And I’m going to kill him myself!”

…oh, Lan Wangji thought. I see.

This again.

[bettsfic]

Hi Betts,

I recently listened to an interview with an author that said “when they decided to get really serious about writing and their dreams they made a ten year plan.” So me being the planner that I am, said maybe I should do it too, especially since this writer is pretty successful. Have I made a decent enough plan? No, because being real about your dreams and committing is scary af.

But I have developed this thinking that each story I have to work on has to be “publishable” and if I can’t immediately envision its success I need to push it away. For some people this is fine. For me, I’m pushing aside every idea and am constantly writing for an invisible audience. Which has its pros and cons.

I want to become efficient so that I can be a good author. One who meets deadlines and puts out work they are proud of. But I’m wondering if it’s even possible to try to work to be an author and still create work that is fun and true to you? If a decision isn’t meaningful I won’t include it in my outline. It feels like the only time writing can be fun is when I was young and had no clue about market and rules and just assumed my dreams would come true.

you know, what i keep finding over and over again is that i was right about a great many things before i had any idea what i was doing. i just didn't know why i was right, i had no context or evidence for my rightness. granted, i was arrogant, but arrogance isn't wrong; it's just uninformed. when you inform arrogance, it becomes confidence. you become informed by getting a lot of feedback on your work and giving feedback on work; having your work accepted once or twice and accepting someone else's work; having your work rejected hundreds of times and being the one to reject. maybe you've done all those things already, in which case you're firmly on your path and there's not much you have to do besides keep going.

i definitely relate to what you're saying, though. i would be lying if i said i wasn't just days ago in a phase of berating myself for my failures and wishing i could work harder and more efficiently. i've cultivated some confidence about my work, but there are some ways in which i'm too arrogant and others in which i'm too humble. i have a long way to go still in informing myself about my work and the process of making it.

you'll be in positions where you have to make creative concessions for the sake of publishing, but don't make them before you get anything on the page. listen to your own ideals and make those ideals happen in your work. a year ago, i finished a novel that was my favorite thing i'd ever made, and i was so proud of it, but i knew it wasn't publishable in the state it was in. even though i'd worked a year on it, it was still an early draft and bore the marks of an early draft, but i couldn't see that because i'd never taken any project further than that one. i'd never felt closer to a project or more intensely toward it. and when i was done, i went through six months grieving it, in a sense, because i knew i'd have to rewrite it. i had to kill the thing that it was in order for it to become what it needed to be. i came to accept that, and the next six months sat on the frustration of not knowing what direction to take it, but having the wisdom to know i couldn't rush it or force it.

and then the fix came to me all at once. the fix involves getting rid of many things that were once dear to me. not even darlings, but entire themes i felt were meaningful, that were the very things i want to share and explore in my work. i don't feel so bad about giving those things up now. what i take out will be put into something else eventually, and what i keep will stand out more starkly. the new parts i write will fit better and serve the story itself, even if it's no longer the story i originally intended to tell.

when you're drafting, your work is in a private conversation with yourself; it's about you even if it isn't. but it can't stay about you. eventually it has to stand on its own. and you might think, well why can't i just write something that stands on its own to begin with? but if you do that, writing is just work, it's business, and it may be more efficient but it's also less meaningful. there's no such thing as efficient creativity. it takes as long as it takes, and if you force yourself on a ten year timeline you might as well focus that energy on something more lucrative and within your control. there's so much about writing that's just chance and discovery and failure and faith.

so i think you should go back to assuming your dreams will come true and not thinking too much about anything except the work itself until you get to the point where you have to. and it will hurt. it may hurt more than anything hurt you've ever put yourself through. but trust you'll get to where you're going, even if it takes longer than you intended.

[trinitywc]

big fan of the great light!!! do you have any advice for story structure/finding the balance between slow and fast pacing?

so long answer, as usual

I start off by thinking of the Main Points I want to write about, and then fill out from there with Secondary Points. For example, TGL: Main Points (this isn't 100% accurate to the book just a rough example) - WoodClan and CreekClan go to war; a nuclear bomb is dropped - The cats are split up, but find each other by a badger sett - Radiation sickness sets in while trying to find their friends - The cats decide to leave to find their Clan Is the basic plotline, and then i fill it out with moments I want, I'm calling these 'Secondary Points', these are what needs to happen to allow the 4 Main Points above ie for the First point to happen, the Clan needs to be introduced and the setting developed so; - introduce Pinepaw and those closest to her, her mentor, her sister, - introduce the war between the Clans - give Pinefrost a motive to hate WoodClan (her mother's death) and reject her pacifist wishes - hint at the human war with various planes, barbed wire, and soldier mentions So I made a timeline of Apprenticeship > Warrior > Bomb, adding scenes that served a purpose (Secondary Points) and those I deem necessary; introducing a character like Blackwillow as mysterious but distant from his Clan by having him appear on the riverbank, showing Chestnutspike and Ouzelheart's relationship, showing CreekClan's buildup to war and training, showing Pinefrost as a rash, impulsive, but curious, young cat by introducing her as runnign away from her duties to explore the forest (with her friend who wants to impress her). "Necessary" scenes in WaCa fic are stuff like 'this is the medicine cat' 'this is her warrior ceremony' 'this is Clan life and hunting and patrolling', so mileage will vary on your story. When it comes to "fast vs slow" pacing, I'm not sure. I think by starting with the Big Points and whittling down, you can keep the story going- and Story also includes character moments - the "break" in TEW where the cats are in the House also explores the ruined city and affects of the bomb, gives Cuckoopaw and Rutherford some character moments (ie training sessions), not everything is nuclear war 100% of the time. Even if characters are doing something "slow" like walking, or routine hunting, something can happen- character motive reveals, backstory, or just some joking to build relationships, a nice 'break' from the fast 'something happening all the time'. I like to think back to first arc warriors were something happened every chapter (Dangerous Path - Tigerstar is revealed as ShadowClan leader, then Whitestorm reports smelling dogs, then Fireheart bumps into Greystripe in RiverClan, then Cinderheart gets 'pack pack kill kill', then Fireheart observes Snowkit acting weird, then Bluestar refuses to make new warriors, all in the first five chapters; all these are tied up by the end; vs the newer books were to me, it feels like a whole lot of nothing happens in between each chapter)

Later, I'll end up going back and adding things once I know how the rough outline goes- ie once Flaxstripe ran away from the Clan, I went and added some scenes of him being selfish and self-serving- I think it's best to get the skeleton and then paper mache on the meat of the story. 'Slow' pacing is where nothing happens (ala Stevie King where he drones on and on about advertising or some 'scary' childhood story with no relevance to the plot), as long as you are providing some information- be it plot, character beats, 'a nice break', or some fun. Eg, if a character is walking home, that's not very interesting just describing the path home, think of why you're describing it- are you setting up their home route or have we been here before and could skip it with a brief 'and she went home' mention? Is she daydreaming about the awkward goodbye she just had, or her plans for tomorrow, or marveling over the simple beauty of her walk home?

It depends on what you are going for, but if you start small and go big, it works itself out