#i have really bad anxiety he helps

[absolutelyzoned]

look at himm :3

[toddtakefive]

thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.

the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)

there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.

[kjzx]

Will go to a do a haircut in some hours and I have the amount of worry about how I'm gonna ask for a buzzcut and how mean people are gonna be about it at a level that shouldn't exist for a woman in 2024 imo

[falldogbombsthemoon]

Yall haha, my dad made it so I have wifi access for one hour a day. which I can use from like 14 to 21 german time. So once my mobile data is dead, I will not be active that much ig. So please dont think I'm abandoning yall.

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[tamagotchikgs]

honestly i wish i could meet up w online friends but i am so filled w terror that my anxiety would make me so offputting and hateable instantly n then i wouldnt have any friends left HBJJBA,,,,, like,,, i cannot express just how bad my anxiety is between my avpd and never learning how 2 mask my autism i am probably the most naturally unlikeable person in existence n then id have to live w that maybe if i had just figured out how to fix myself first and make myself perfect n palatable then i wouldnt hav fucked it up like every other interaction irl

[millyrocking]

the way NOBODY talks about julie hart’s book on her life and marriage to bret hart. it is CRICKETS when you search this up on forums or reddit. there’s only two posts about it on reddit with minimal discussion.

[akkivee]

i feel very seen as someone who draws buff kuukou lmao

[pollard-zero]

honestly I need more apt502 not only to romance rainn but so that we can meet/romance mason bc smth abt having the only source of familiar comfort in a new city be ur rival ???

[soupforstars]

I find it genuinely hilarious how many signs there were pointing to us being a system from ages ago... As the host whos been here the longest I'm surprised I didn't look into it sooner, like I SERIOUSLY wondered on MORE THAN TWO SEPERATE OCCASIONS as a teen whether I had DID, but brushed it off both times because I thought "oh I'm not traumatised enough" and "you have to experience blackouts and time jumps and I haven't so I can't" (spoiler alert, I definitely was incredibly traumatised and I definitley have had blackouts before but even then I didn't know that those weren't fully necessary for a diagnosis).

And this is without getting into "my" love of any media that involved characters with alter egos, "multiple personalities", etc. Like I LOVED the Jekyll and Hyde musical when I found it, my favourite Total Drama character was Mike (the one with DID but like. when people still knew it as MPD. also he wasnt the best rep lol), I loved the Markiplier and Jacksepticeye egos, for a short time I was into Sander Sides, I had full on "characters" that were "aspects of my personality" but also next to them was just. My actual sona? Completely seperate from them, which actually represented me?

I just really thought I liked media with alternate egos/personalities but methinks the call was coming from inside the house sdjshsnsjsbdjdb

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Obligatory 9am work rant

[generationa1trauma]

flatmate has a girl over i am suddenly extremely uncomfortable

[gxlden-angels]

I don't know how many of you watch/listen to Belief it or Not but I love his concern about a USAmerican pastor bringing a gun on stage for a message cause my old pastor openly bragged about being armed all the time

[floral-hex]

I just get so tired of waking up every day and having to claw my way up to some emotional baseline

[baladric]

when mitski said “i’ve been big and small and big and small and big and small again” i felt that

[luxraydyne]

pop quiz what breed of childhood trauma borne neuroticism is it called when being condescended to on just the most neutral, limpid, nothing thoughts you express like you’re a little silly child, or “out of your depth”, or woefully misinformed, or just speaking on something you shouldn’t cause fuckin hell you’re doing it *wrong*, and with the most plainly obvious remark too, makes you want to chew on your own arm until you reach bone marrow