#i get sad if i think about it too much bc i really would like for my dad to teach me stuff
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eerna · 2 days ago
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When I think about arcane arc 2, I’m just really :/ that it feels like they dropped the ball on their generational trauma theme. Like, we didn’t properly explore Ambessa and Cait’s new dynamic and Caitlyn had no reflection on her mother’s death anymore, Ambessa forgot about Mel??, Jinx was “fixed” by Isha, we have once again sidelined Ekko and his revolutionaries plot, and Vi and Jinx, who were trying to Kill each other two eps ago, are chill now (listen the catty fight was fun but ya know. besides that.) Like what about revolution eating up innocence and your sons and daughters and toxic coping strategies being passed down! Idk, I guess has someone who is a bit of a tragedy enjoyer (tho I like optimistic/happy endings lol) and someone who really likes toxic nuanced relationship (and arcane really focused on familial too!! which I love) I feel they really lost themselves trying to go the fluff route. This just isn’t that type of show. This is also why I think Vander’s character kinda threw a wrench in season 2; was there really a point to be made in bringing him back? Kinda thought he had already served his purpose but Idk! There’s other things to critique, and even things I enjoyed too, but I think if I had to boil down the main sentiment why I didn’t like arc two, it would be losing this character thread. So much of season 1 hinged on it, so many great scenes came out of it, feels bizarre fumbling it so bad in arc 2…
Yeah T.T The Vander one hits especially hard, because like. He really is done here. There is no reason for him to exist in the story anymore. The show even agrees with us, they brought him back ONLY to take him away from the girls again, and that is just stupid and boring. Sure, Warwick has to exist bc LoL, but there was no need to introduce him into the plot - the hints in s1 were plenty enough to give him a backstory.
And the most important part: WHAT ABOUT REVOLUTION EATING UP INNOCENCE AND YOUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS AND TOXIC COPING STRATEGIES BEING PASSED DOWN!!! HELLO???? THE MAIN THEME OF SEASON 1???????? It was about a bunch of revolutionaries trying to do good for their families, and how good intentions don't mean good results. Vi learned the passive rejection of a revolution from Vander, Jinx learned individualistic toxic obsession from Silco, Mel rejected her mother's "kill before you get killed" policy. None of this is important in s2 anymore!! I thought Isha would die in an act of revolution, bringing home the "is revolution worth risking the people you are doing it for in the first place" theme, but no. No! Because we are abandoning that line of thought! And you're right, the reason for that is the dumb family fluff they suddenly pivoted into. I adore family stories and relationships, but I'm not buying the Vander-Jinx-Vi-Isha unit for a moment. Jinx-Isha-Sevika, which had good setups, was abandoned and for WHAT!!!! CHEAP FLUFF???? Augh. Sad.
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iz-star · 1 day ago
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These glasses making Zayne to remember Zack 🥹❤️
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I think it's especially endearing to me cause when Zack at first was introduced, it was as a troublesome patient. However, when Zayne entered the room and calmed him down, it was easy to realize that Zack only felt alone and needed someone to treat him with humanity.
The nurses and other doctors got kinda scared at his outburst that their first reaction was to tie him up to try to take back the access card he was trying to swallow. He just needed someone to talk to, to pass the time with, so Zayne not only showed his commitment by talking to him with calm but also coming to the hospital to play chess with him on his day off.
We constantly talk about how Zayne saves lifes, but we don't talk enough how it's always mentioned that his patients love him. He treats them with so much patience and humanity cause let's remember that being in a hospital is for the most cases a sad or exasperating experience.
Zayne spending time with Zack because he felt alone, Zayne softening his voice to try to comfort Taniah with so much tenderness, the way he's been voted the favorite Doctor by most patients, the way it's mentioned most patients follow his orders, the way even the kids are so comfortable around him to draw him laying on the grass and also asking him to peel apples for them.
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We also knew that he liked animals but with his last solo banner event we just learned how much he likes them, to the point of getting ready as if he was going to meet another person, studying what to do in order to treat them correctly or not doing or give something to them that could be bad for their health.
It makes sense that he's a Doctor and even in battle his skills are more for support and healing. It's not in his nature to hurt others (even if he can clearly do so) and when he has done it, it's been bc he was asked to and bc it was a mercy kill (William). He's obssesed about saving lifes that I can only think how devastating having to kill William was for him, even if he didn't show it.
(Kinda want to read a fic where Dr Noah comforts him after losing William 😭).
The way he values life and respects its course is something that I appreciate deeply.
I think his first anecdote it's a good example of what it's like getting to know Zayne. John was pretty scared about him and most players also misjudged him as "cold" and "doesn't care about MC" initially. But paying attention to these details, you could clearly see how much tenderness and consideration he holds for other living beings (He's even a plants man!).
They say good things don't come easy, so I knew that it would take some time for Zayne to loosen up, but that didn't really mean that he was cold or uninterested in MC. Even to these days, I still laugh whenever he roasts MC or me (cause sometimes when he roasts her, it's about things it's easy to relate to, like sleeping late ahaha).
But my initial point is: I love the way the devs have put special care in show his humanity. He's not overly kind to the point of looking fake, neither heartless. He's patient, he shows his concern sometimes in a sweet way and sometimes in a way that can be annoying for the patient (like MC or that Hunter that was being a specially difficult patient in one Zayne's anecdotes). Zayne is good at doing lots of things but his weakness are carrots, he's always telling MC to follow doctors orders but he easily says "Doctors exaggerate all the time" when you play the same cards on him. He's so etheral and at the same time so human too, and I love that of him. His little sins are what make him so endearing.
I love that he mentions Zack in the café and the devs deliberately made him show a kinda sad or concerned face when he mentions him. He doesn't complain, doesn't mention Zack's childish tantrums.
I think one of my strongest obssesions about him being kind and patient as a Doctor is that I live in a country where the medical sector is not given enough resources to work properly so the medical staff most cases gets underpaid, ends up exhausted and lose sensitivity when treating patients. Being a Doctor is not easy, we all know it but Zayne has never made it a problem for him to treat everyone with the respect (for their life and autonomy) that they deserve.
Of course, it's way too easy to be like that in fiction. But it's so comforting and ngl sometimes when my patience is running thin, I just think I'd like to be just as kind and patient as Zayne.
(Side note but Zayne decided to wear the butler kitty costume again lol he's trying so hard for me to like this card xD).
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teruwasright · 2 days ago
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LITERALLY‼️‼️‼️ KOU. WOULD. HATE. YOU. ALL.‼️‼️‼️‼️
if he saw ANY of the horrible stuff they've said about Teru (even just the shit they straight made up??) And if he saw you all were calling him HIS MURDERER HE WOULD LITERALLY BE FURIOUS-
Kou loves Teru JUST AS MUCH AS TERU LOVES HIM!! (Will never forget how Kou was the FIRST ONE to lose his shit when Teru got hurt-) there love is ABSOLUTELY NOT one sided- Kou loves Teru and HE'S SHOWN IT- he may not be as physically affectation as Teru (he probably finds it a little embarrassing) but he's NEVER be uncomfortable with Teru showing physically affectation for him- (this fact is why I hated the whole Teru being a "groomer" shit- fucking HATE that with my soul Kou's never been uncomfortable with Teru and Teru's never been weird about it STOP.)
Seeing them interact feels like seeing a mom baby her son and he gets embarrassed about it (witch makes me even sader....)
But Kou has show affectation for Teru in different ways- just bc there not as open DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T LOVE HIM!!
I'm sorry I'm getting a little off topic- (I ramble really easily and I get really upset when people genuinely think Kou doesn't love Teru-)
But I absolutely agree- it's ridiculous that people are blaming Teru (the person that loves him THE ABSOLUTE MOST) and then have the NERVE to be sad and crying about Kou- kou would literally tell you to stfu-
Sighhh me too fr- I literally hate this fan base rn and it's pissing me off so bad- people have accused Teru of a lot of things....but killing his BROTHER? to far man and I genuinely hate you all ^^
Kou's death
He died as the selfless idiot he is, but most of the fandom is missing a part. I've seen so many people talk about Teru and Akane seeing his dead body down the well, but nobody who said this:
He looks comforted by the lightning, some kind of wicked comfort.
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"My brother's lightning…" he doesn't look like he feels betrayed, at all.
He was trying to kill Nene, one of his best friends, and he never would've been able to forgive himself if he succeeded. He's glad his BROTHER stopped him, that he was the one to wipe him away from the living world, even tho it was an accident
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He finally understands what Hanako and Mitsuba meant by saying they want HIM, someone they trust, to exorcise them. It's hard to imagine as a living person, but as a dangerous supernatural it's as clear as day
What was Kou's best departure, was Teru's worst goodbye
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dailyloopdeloop · 5 months ago
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loop and mirabelle. That's it that's the ask
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DAY 84: enrolled in the gossip wars
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#mirabelle isat#isat spoilers#vaguely. mostly for the tags#i think it'd be sooo funny if like. loop and mirabelle postcanon.#loop has rejoined the party somewhat recently and they are not at all adapting. to be honest. reunion probably happened too soon#bc they are a siffrin which means they are disgustingly sentimental. their ass is not taking the time to discover themself as a new person.#do you really think loop is gonna take their own advice.lol.#lmao even#Ok so anyways i think the party and loop would have a weird thing going on#like theyre all extremely grateful to loop. and they trust loop through the general basis of theyre apparently very dear to siffrin#but fucking nobody knows what to make of this bitch. odile knows they are hiding Something but she has no certain evidence to pin it down.#isabeau can't catch loop alone for more than 5 seconds. has the distinct sense they're avoiding him and he does not know why#bonnie....well tbh i think they'd vibe with loop. bonnie win.#mirabelle. i think she wouldn't really like loop? not at first anyways#do you remember in sasasap mirabelle telling siffrin(loop) that for a long time she thought they were a callous sort of person#bc they never took anything seriously at all. like the whole journey didnt mean anything. until they took an eye for bonnie#i think mirabelle would catch a similar vibe towards loop(lol.) bc like#like loop's main presence in the group is negging siffrin and being weird and dodgy around everyone else#i don't even think they'd be mean to the others but they would do everything in their power to throw the party zero bones#so all mirabelle has to go on for loop is that they're kind of a dickhead to her friend and that they're not receptive to normal group#social activities. i think being on the receiving end of mirabelle's kindness would make loop kind of sad and she'd pick up on it#but like. loop is inexplicably important to siffrin. she doesn't know the details bc neither of them want to talk at all about the loops#and i think siffrin would be especially dodgy abt talking about loop in the interrim between them rejoining and them being Presumed Dead#so mirabelle tries a new strategy to bridge the gap between her and loop. the power of Mutual Haterism#more specifically i think mirabelle would get the impression of loop as being much more of a bitch than they actually are#due to the aforementioned siffrin negging#so like. maybe that's just how they socialize maybe they'd be down to talk about hot takes and gossip a bit
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gunsatthaphan · 7 months ago
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~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2024 ~ 
🌷 Happy May!!! ☀️
Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 
New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns
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What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)
🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand) 
🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅
🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand) 
🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan) 
🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea) 
🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)
🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)
🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)
🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅
🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea) 
🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅
🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅
🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)
New series & movie announcements
🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)
🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)
🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)
Other news from the BL world
❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.
❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.
❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.
❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.
❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.
❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:
The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)
Perfect10 Liners (starring ForceBook, PerthChimon, JuniorMark)
Heart That Skips a Beat (starring EstWilliam)
Revamp (starring BounPrem, formerly known as Vampire Project)
Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (starring MarkOhm)
The Ex-Morning (starring KristSingto)
❗️ The production company CHANGE2561 held their 2024 lineup event on April 25th. The following BL projects were announced:
This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (starring SailubPon)
Goddess Bless You From Death (starring PavelPooh)
I’m The Most Beautiful Count (starring PingSupanut)
Pit Babe Season 2
Upcoming series & movies for May
👉🏻 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)
👉🏻 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)
👉🏻 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand)
👉🏻 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)
👉🏻 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)
👉🏻 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)
👉🏻 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)
👉🏻 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)
👉🏻 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)
👉🏻 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)
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knockknockitsnickels · 1 month ago
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Day 16, final day before the Pristine Cut, my attempt at Ms. Chain Princess (possibly Prison3r but I've seen ppl speculate she's sp3ctre) from the trailer. See you all post pristine-cut 🫡
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hylianane · 8 days ago
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A big part of the Haikyuu rewatch is watching the characters interact and worrying that I fandomized their relationships too much in my head, particularly with the Karasuno first years because Hinata and Kags keep Yamaguchi and Tsukishima at arm’s length for so long. But then I remember. Oh wait the squad is literally Hinata’s phone background by the end of the story. You don’t put a picture of just some dudes in your after school club as your phone background.
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#ane discovers character development takes time who wouldve thought#personally I think wthe change happens when Yachi and Tsuki start tutoring them#It’s around the time that there’s a shift in their bickering so that it’s more. ‘familial’ isnt the term I’m looking for but like#the kind of razzing you can only do with someone you know#Tsukishima for example starts bringing up specific things they studied together to dunk on Kageyama not remembering any of it#And another subtle thing I noticed- cause again I started going like ? did I fandomize my entire perception of Tadashi too much?#cause for the first season he doesn’t interact with ANYONE but Tsuki. Like practically not at all except to brag about Tsuki to others#But I have a sneaking suspicion that this starts to change around the time that he starts getting on the court more often as a pinch server#Probably because it gives him more courage#Cause I remember him having a lot to say in the Shiratorizawa match#and I remember him getting along with Yachi! So like I’m keeping an eye out for those changes#haikyuu!!#Also my favorite part about rewatching Haikyuu is how the reveal of Kag’s backstory really does affect. Your entire perception of him#Like I know its probably cause he’s my fav but I always feel so frustrated when people assume the worst of him and so sad that even Oikawa-#who knew him back when he was a very happy and shy kid- doesn’t even question why his personality had such a sudden shift#but then I realize that the only reason I’m so aware of these changed is because Kageyama has ‘opened up to me’ as an audience member befor#Furudate waited hundreds off chapters to tell us that he’s been grieving a loved onesince a little before the very first scene of the manga#So that it would feel like we earned it#Idk how to explain it like when you meet someone who’s hurting it takes a lot of effort and patience for them to tell you why#in the same way bc we stuck by the story for so long and watching Kageyama learn to be more open#we got the privilege of learning why he was closed off in the same place#but Kageyama didnt give anyone at his old school the chance to stick around- not Kindaichi or Kunimi or anyone#So it makes total sense#kageyama tobio#hinata shouyou#yamaguchi tadashi#tsukishima kei#yachi hitoka#karasuno first years#my post
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dont-offend-the-bees · 6 months ago
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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faithfromanewperspective · 1 month ago
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what’s there not to understand about hypomania? you know when you get overtired, and like a toddler, you get all hyperactive and also want to cry or do Every Fun Thing you can think of and it actually becomes harder to sleep? like as a result of too much overwhelm or being so emotionally exhausted that’s how your body makes you able to cope, the aftereffects of too much adrenaline? just imagine being stuck like that. and every day it triggers itself more, overload of emotional whiplash and energy and you’ve lost all ability to think rationally and you can do anything at this point, because why not? you’ve got nothing left in you to hold back on any idea that could be exciting and stop you from falling into the void where the wiredness you feel has nothing to latch onto to burn off that nervous energy in a positive way, emotionally. for days or weeks or months on end. you don’t need to have ever experienced this fully to extrapolate and be like. yeah. I can see how it would suck eventually to get stuck like that
#at this point I’m begging people to see the overlap with adhd too bc anecdotally it seems like everyone I know also has that#and the overlap with bpd and hpd but I think the main difference is. being stuck in that high energy state. even when the energy turns sad#and bitter and hopeless. it’s essentially just overstimulation from your own brain. gets stuck overstimulating itself to cope maybe?#like i know people say it’s not triggered by life events but they sometimes can trigger it. but imho depression is gonna trigger it too#eventually. anything where everything is Too Much can start the positive feedback loop that’s almost impossible to turn off#which if you don’t know what a positive feedback loop is. means smth triggers smth which goes back and triggers its original trigger#thus getting bigger and bigger in magnitude. it’s like the chicken and the egg. egg makes chicken and chicken makes egg. more egg more#chicken and more chicken more egg. as opposed to a negative feedback loop which by the time there gets enough of smth it stops triggering#making more of it. your body relies on negative feedback loops for smth called homeostasis which is basically keeping everything stable#so obv positive feedback loops are gonna do the opposite of stable. in this case for your energy and your mood#most people are able to sleep better when they’re tired. my hypothesis of hypomania is when being tired makes you less able to rest#and that obviously spirals in on itself. mania would just be an extension of that I guess? but in some people it does happen really fast so#I get the narrative that it’s a chemical imbalance bc it is. but the specific imbalance being the tendency to a positive feedback loop make#more sense to me too. and can be why predictability and external cycles to ground yourself to are so important#there’s also never a 0% chance of you ever having a manic episode btw. anyones brain can theoretically get into this loop it’s just that if#you’re genetically predisposed to bipolar you’re much more likely to! and that’s okay. you can manage it with meds and lifestyle#but it makes sense why lowering stress (which can trigger this cycle) is such an important part of treatment and management#anyway. hopefully I’m not like. horribly horribly wrong or smth. in the end I can only speak for my experience so lmk if I’m missing smth#bipolar awareness#bipolar 2#hypomania#personal mental health tag#neurodivergence#would you believe I was reminiscing about a concert I went to once. and it made me think of all this
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hauntingblue · 8 months ago
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Oden's prophecy of young pirates coming to save wano becoming yamato's hope for his freedom.... and him becoming oden because of it.... it's just so good... on the other side luffy taking ace's spot for liberating yamato... I think I hauve covid
#the spades pirates in wano to save children... omg... deuce.... i have heard so much of you....#yamato complaining about how eveyrhing is his father's fault and ace getting violent...#it is so sad that in the end it was (partially maybe) his father's fault... if not roger then whitebeard..... maybe both#the hibiscus flowers..... rouge....#yamato telling ace he talks too much about luffy.... omg.....#NAMI TELLS TAMA LUFFY LOST ACE TOO!!! AND LUFFY CAME BACK TO WANO BC ACE SAID HE WOULD!!! OMG...... THE LINGERING.....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1014#pink haired samurai is still alive and kicking... hell yeah....#ODEN WAS THE SECOND COMMANDER FOR WHITEBEARD??? OMG???#whitebeard dealing with his rebellious son ace akshaksjak.....#ace wanting to save wano for his husband and child but wb wouldn't let him bc he is still caught up about his ex husband's death... complex#TEACH GO TO HELL!!! FUCK YOU!!! DIEEEE!!!!#they can't put luffy crying about ace dying here again.... tama feeling bad about yelling at luffy....#YAMATO KNOWS ABOUT THE D????#big mom wants robin.... i mean of course.... curious about pudding and her third eye.... we will meet again i guess...#PONEGLYPH!!!! kaido little borther to mom...... god valley.... rox.... i remember.... she gave him his power omg...#episode 1015#ace face down smiling after whitebeard beats him up reminded me of ace dead smiling. hell on earth this is my last straw. goodbye.#the animation <3 ace i love you <3 yamato you are great <3#omg... little ASL with the big pirates saying he will become pirate king omg...#PAUSE!! ACE HEARING GOOD THINGS ABOUT ROGER AND SAYING HE SOUNDS NICE THIS IS CRUCIAL TO MY ACE LORE OMG#yamato didnt say who it was... did ace really die not thinking his father was good this is my roman empire... critical hit to my brain#yamato made aces vivre card.... should i end it all for realsies this time....#his cunty skate boat 😭😭😭😭 i could cry#he really is looking like a beautiful dead wife this episode.... yamato......the vivre card omg..... NOT THE FLASHBACK ENOUGH#THE TRANAITION BETWEEN ACE FALLING OFF LUFFY AND HIM FALLING TO THE GROUND OMG AKFBSKDNDKSKLWKWNSKWK NOOOOOO#OH FINALLY THEY ARE ALL THERE TO FOGHT BIG MOM AND KAIDO!!! FUCK YEAAHHHHHH a good drag for the mugis for good measure#episode 1013
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skunkes · 1 month ago
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my issue is that 2 weeks ago I was flip flopping on what decision to make while being very convinced that I wanted to try to leave and that doing so would make me happy and no matter how difficult it was it would be worth it. Just like how i wanted my surgery but was still wracked with guilt leading up to it. Now im stressed and obsessively thinking about it while being convinced that leaving would not make me happy at all and would not be worth it. which is a lot harder...
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p1x1x · 2 months ago
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i don't mind recieving more insight on the relationship dynamics you have in mind for them! gives me a better understanding of whats going on in ur art. i just asked because the "child crushing on adult > adult turns into parent/guardian" dynamic is something i don't see often [and when i do see it, it usually isn't done well] so i wanted to reach out to understand what ur take on it was. it's nice to see ur nuances on it as a fellow aro!
haha… “insight” mention
i guess it is a pretty unusual dynamic… but the vibes match what i usually like, so i entertain the thoughts a little…
more often than not there’s some long line of reasoning for whatever pairing im into… usually revolving around why one is important to the other, i guess, since honestly i dont have a set idea what romance is even if i like drawing Lesbian Things… and have done so… for several years…… so the scope of what i consider “love” is might be vague across the board idk the characters just think a lot about each other thats it.
if i were to clarify something like those “saya LOVE” doodles its… idk about myself being ‘nuanced’ lol 😅 i just get delusional about fictional characters and arcaea is Really hitting the braincells. at full force. the main reason for drawing that anyway was because i wanted to see saya getting some kisses (or close to kisses) and blush… the thoughts behind them existed in a vague state while drawing but there were Thoughts
vita -> saya: slight homoromo energy from vita by crushing, saya’s surprised by the cheek kiss but honestly a little touched by it (saya wouldn’t really think of herself as a ‘good caretaker,’ or even a particularly ‘good person’ with the ways she’s probably tested the limits of the memories and her general exploration of all types of memories… ‘the ends justifies the means’ mindset… but it’s like. ah, at least this child is happy…(because of me…?) it seems vita’s happy with just that, so she’ll allow this) i thought it would be cute, fluffy really. honestly i just like drawing them being cute together lmao… they’re sweet i hold em gently in my hand. surprise cheek kith…
lethe -> saya: okay there’s something absolutely terrible and gay going on between them i almost cant look at them!!!!! i love the prospect of ltsy recovering together if vita’s taken away… because lethe cant bring herself to just. leave saya bleeding out. after that. looked like she’s on the verge of tears. it doesn’t even feel like she’s ‘won’ this battle since insight had been the cause of lethe’s scythe striking her… but it also does feel like she’s the one who hurt saya anyway. so now they’re not fighting which is Weird because everytime they’ve met they have fought but neither are really in the mind for fighting so they just. have to deal with each other . and. pent up lesbian feelings. and suddenly being in close proximity like this. that flower is really pretty isn’t it? like the rest of her of course so much for Not Caring about whatever’s bouncing behind those petals before!!! (and all those other things they’ve said to each other when they believed the other to only be an obstacle for their path—ah, they were really misguided… things could have been so different… feels like the emptiness of arcaea also emphasized their opposition similarly to hikaritsu…)
(they’re really gay for each other trust me on this. they have a lot of lesbian yearning . but there’s also like. lethe seeing that vita was important to saya. (more important than what lethe has with saya just for now okay they’re both going to be important to her) how saya would probably still pursue her own dream. lethe can’t exactly fault her for that though, when she herself still believes the memories to be sacred, still finds it hard to let go of things (i know in 5-6 she kind of comes to peace with not remembering a part of herself… but she is still not letting go of any memory if she can jdhdgshssjshhs)). ouuuuugh lethesaya… y yuri… things are horrible for them… and saya’s flower lol. get licked, idiot (saya can totally feel things touching the flower!!! i won’t budge on this)
insight -> saya: insight’s love is definitely a sort of Love but less for a personal relationship and a need to find out everything about something or someone (largely based on whatever insight says in 16-3 and 16-6)… although maya is the most fascinating by being an exception to arcaea laws that insight understands, i’d think insight would find saya a little funny to poke at. and insight’s also gay because Yuri reasons. but then again, maybe all this is what romantic love would be like to her: knowing something or someone inside and out, construction and all : P in her freak ways : P the freakiness is amped up with maya though. freakyuri
though insightsaya isnt really something i ship (along with insightlethe or whatever configuration of them with insight). i just think, well, Lesbian Energy between all 3 of em, insight finds lethesaya entertaining or some shit like that. and its fun to put them together because. one is an ethereal beauty. one is pathetically hot. and the other is just a charming freak. so hard to draw
im not usually this elaborate for multiple characters but oh well i guess this is happening. just refer to the chart tbh that one covers most of my art in a pretty condensed format compared to… whatever this is
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ryuseitai · 3 months ago
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ii quite enjoy cooking although i dont know a whole lot about it but it is fun and i like to experiment and just wing stuff.. i also dont have a lot of like, resources bc my house is fucked up and nothing works and we own one pot, ive wanted to try baking out for a long time but the oven doesnt work yadda yadda yadda But well one day, whenever i live somewhere else, i can try it out.. but i liike doing what i can do here and it is so nice when i make food and its yummy :] esp if other people eat it too and also like it. i made cinnamony soft apple thing and my momma said is really good she liked it
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annamaryllis · 8 months ago
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I would like to know exactly how luke asking annabeth to run away with him went down.
#annabeth🥺#it's sad to think about how it'll be so much harder for annabeth to unpack and heal from that relationship bc he's dead#it's hard enough to come to terms with someone you love/held in high esteem hurting you so deeply#but she's also grieving him too so it's even harder to hold him accountable to herself and recognizing the good and the bad#she may struggle to not romanticize the memory of him#sorting through what about their relationship was pure and genuine and what was fueled by other stuff#both of their trauma really played into it in some of the worst ways...#but to even recognize how her trauma played into it she'd have to identify what her trauma even is and how it's affected her life#it's really complex and difficult work#and bc he's gone she'll never get to question him on stuff like what he was thinking at certain points and why#so certain things will never get the best closure#MAYBE SOMETHING WE COULD HAVE EXPLORED IN HOO RICHARD???? BUT NO#and it would have been perfect too bc she'd also be dealing with issues caused by both of her parents triggered by the MoA quest#like her mother's conditional love#and trauma from her mortal family#and her fear of spiders relates to both of these things bc it's a phobia that's passed down from her mom's actions#so she's being punished for something she's not responsible for and also being burdened with a quest simply for being her mother's daughter#and it also represents her mortal family's neglect bc they ignored her needs and all that...#AND THEN the only person she's received actually pure and good unconditional love from was snatched from her for 6 months#and the MoA quest could have been a way to confront some of these fears and wounds...so she's a little stronger by tartarus which#should bring out the best in her and the worst in percy#or maybe the best and worst in both of them#and then he can work through some stuff too down there#HoO could have been a journey for them where they're undone and then healed#bc at the end of everything they have the medicine to literally everything which is real love (which they have for each other intensely)#the rant I could go on about this...I have so many thoughts about what HoO should have been. maybe one day#annabeth#luke & annabeth#luke#m
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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you
#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that#will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo#$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive#and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started#anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean#and i am just so sad right now#and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun#not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course#i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as#breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage#i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard#i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade#and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that#:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 6 days ago
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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