#im not doing barely anything and i dont know. How to do more im just useless and ungrateful for the things i have
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merymoonbeam · 2 days ago
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Im ranting but like...
I love to write theories and you know what it made me realize? Sarah uses myth and folklore a lot but she just takes their core and doesnt do deep things. She is surface level. There is so many myths she can use/used but barely streched the surface. She is just here for the vibes and nothing more and hofas should have made all of you realise that with how many retcons she did for that book to just write the crossover she wanted...and all of the info we learned in hofas? It was through info dumb. That's like what not to do when you are writing. This is one of the first things you learn in writing. Info dumbs are... dumb. Lazy.
She did it two times in hofas—silene and Aidas. Just to explain the lore and she retconed the hell out of her old laid out history lore just bc she wanted that crossover.
Expecting her to write some deep character arc or explore the sexual awakening after SA...thinking she is gonna do a good job? Dont make me laugh.
So whatever you are adding to azriel or gwyn or elain or any other character...sarah is not gonna explore any of that. She is just here to write them kissing and some big plot at the back where she can resolve it through the most basic things and voila...a book.
That's why all of these azriel is toxic and azriel has trauma and he is reflecting and all...dumb. bc sarah is not doing anything of the short. He is just sad boi who has no self worth. That's it. "Look at me Im worthless why would anyone want me" is Azriel's core character. That's literally it. Nothing more nothing less.
🫡
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choccy-milky · 6 months ago
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: “Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖
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greatestjubilee · 1 year ago
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bleh
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lunarharp · 2 years ago
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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puppppppppy · 1 year ago
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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zackcharine · 2 months ago
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I need to try harder to get out of bed but augh
#🤖.txt#aghhfjg i really need to catch up on sleep. but i also want to do stuff but idk. this is dumb but nothing i do really feels worth the effor#anymore. Thinking like this is sad bc drawing is one of the few things i like doing and make me happy but idk#i might just go back to the way things were before. Just wait for the weekend and spend as much time drawing then#genuinely dont want to do anything at all this is so frustrating and im so tired and sad all the time#i know i should be using my break to focus on studying but with what time#Idkkkk i just really hate living like this#thinking about dropping out again but that would just mean house chores + babysitting full time while job hunting and idk if i can handle#that. I cant handle anything anymore and this is making me so sad . I want to be useful and do so many things but i reached my limit months#ago. I just wanted a week or two to just rest its all i need . But i know im never gonna get that again and at this point i might as well#just die but i cant do that neither bc i have shit to do#Everyone is always talking about how i have it so easy and how things are just gonna get worse bc they think me being home = me not doing#anything and idk. I cant take anything anymore and i think the most upsetting part of this is that i know theyre right#im not doing barely anything and i dont know. How to do more im just useless and ungrateful for the things i have#Really stressed and tired and literally nothing happened. Its gonna be 2pm soon and im supposed to wake up Earlier#But yeagh. this wasnt supposed to be this wall of text i just wanted to say that i might give up on art again for a while#aughhh i dont know how to do anything right idk how to live or take care of myself how am i supposed to raise someone .#this is. too much i think. I reallyyyyy need to relearn how to just talk to myself . I cant keep dropping these everyday and being . This t#evsryone around me. Everyone in my life deserves so much better than ill ever be#vent
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bunnyboy-juice · 4 months ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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the-gayest-show · 1 month ago
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i LOVE procrastinating this is fun i KNOW i have assignments to do but i cannot bring myself to do them. i am actually bored out of my mind. i have assignments to do and im bored. i COULD do assignments but i can't be bothered to start
and then im stressed as i realize ive eaten my whole day up doing nothing. is this laziness? i heard being lazy meant relaxing but im doing everything but these assignments. and i feel awful
#posts#were my irl friends right in their joking manners?#do i have some form of adhd to match my autism or am i just lazymaxxing but with some 4th wall narrator in my mind that tells me#“you know its due right. you are WASTING TIME” and i say “i know but how to start doing”#and brain goes “*shrug*” so i go back to being bored#bored and stressed.#im senior year these grades define whether im keeping my school offers. i need to MAINTAIN THEM. bare minimum. that's ALL they want.#bare minimum is do assignment in meh quality so at least i dont get a 0#and i don't tank my grade by like 20% (turning my 80s into horrible 60s) and risk losing acceptances where minimums were 70 or 80s#i would rather do a shitty job than do no job. i need JOB i need PRODUCT to SUBMIT. ON TIME FOR THAT MATTER. if not on time than no grade.#writing this has inspired me to do the least best i can as long as i finish the assignment and i have it done. like not piss poor but like.#no perfectionism. fuck it all my assignments be due today and tommorow we threw out the concept of getting 90s#when we started getting 70s on stuff i DID put effort into#so as long as i pass and my overall grade looks the same ISH give or take 1-2% i should be fine#unis and colleges count the 2nd smemester too and if anything its more lax there#if i get better grades next sememster i can throw out piss poor clss (animation is looking to be the worst but not by big margin)#and replace it with a cooler grade to form my better GPA#because they only count 5 gr12 credits and mixed with my film dual credit i get 6 credits#anyways enough ranting i accidentally hyped myself up i will go find a tutorial for The Program#and try not to kill myself if the interfaces do not look 100% the same (the tutorials use a previous version of same app)
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aropride · 1 year ago
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i really dont understand studying at all like genuinely i don't know what it is . i know about "taking notes" and "reading the textbook" and that's it . quizlet doesn't do shit for me because i don't know what to. do. with the cards. look at them ? am i supposed to just look at them . No one bothered teaching me actual skills bc i got good grades when i was 8 and now i am so hopelessly lost . why did no one think to teach me this for when stuff got harder than four plus three
#text#ive never understood flashcards . like what to do with them. how is that any more different or helpful than just like... writing a list on#paper of vocab terms or whatever#and like conceptually i know 'learning' is like. not only committing things to memory but also being able to engage with it which#is why teachers loveeeee group discussions and essays. but like. you read the text and then you go to class and Discuss but how do you#Learn what the text is saying like how do you . put it in your brain and udnerstand and remember it .#i think im missing something very simple because everyone else in the world seems to understand this fine#like where does the part where you go oh! i understand this and can explain it in my own words. Happen#how do u force it to happen if its not something ur autistic about#Like the only example i can think of rn of this is when i hyperfixated on hpa axis dysregulation + trauma a couple weeks ago#so i was learning stuff about it for Fun and not for school so no comprehension tests or notes or anything#and basically i'd just put on a webinar while i sorted seaglass or worked on sewing or whaever#and i can explain the concept fine. ur brain controls ur body so if it gets too scared ur body loses its shit basically.#but i dont remember most of the words. i still can barely define neurotransmitter#i can apply this to my own life but i confuse the hippocampus and the frontal lobe and the amygdala etc#and i couldnt point out any of them on a diagram#i dont get it . like i know a lot and simultaneously nothing at all abt it#how am i supposedto be remembering words and numbers AND understanding the concepts AND im supposed to do that between#reading the book and engaging in thoughtful conversation with my peers i dont understand
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ana-rends · 8 months ago
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i would rather live with ana for the rest of my life than binge like this ever again
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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yoshistory · 9 months ago
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part of me still feels like i might be sort of genderfluid and/or bisexual but just traumatized about it. no idea anymore
#like. remember that. remember following me back when i was bi and genderfluid lol. awhile ago now#its like whatever to me now. its really hard for me to pin anymore#like when i feel like genderfluid and bi again i feel like i can be a lot more open about shit#but i dont really even know. its hard#i feel like. and this is just like. me yknow. i feel like if i wasnt dating a man i'd be missing out on something that i want#like i dont know if i would be content just marrying a woman and being satisfied if i. didnt have a husband. yknow what i mean#and its like. if *I* wasnt a man i'd be sad. if in a relationship i wasnt someone's boyfriend or husband i'd be sad about it#so this is what wraps back around to me being a gayboy about it yknow#its complicated because no matter the gender label outcome. i would STILL want testosterone and surgery and masculine terms#and i KNOW this doesnt mean anything for some people. like some women do all that and are women#so i could just be not-a-man and still want all this anyways#but i also know it doesnt make it any less complicated for some of these women. who also had to think about themselves a lot in this way#its this weird notion of whatever ends up happening i... physically want the same shit anyways. THAT stays almost completely static#so that for me is a breather. its just like.... idk ... if i ever got in a relationship with a woman#i'd feel like i would be intrinsically. missing out on something i wanted#which i think is what a lot of burgeoning gay kids feel generally. right#like if you went down this stringent path laid out for you that you'd be missing out on. your life that you want. right.#i dont know what i want out of that really. sometimes i feel like im too out of it to pursue anything romantically anymore anyways#i do sometimes think it'd be cool to be a butch woman. kinda..?#i think what i like about that is the masculinity of myself is gender non-confirming if i were a woman#which if im a masc guy i'm just like. your average dude. like. right#but i wanna be a bear about it. i wanna fag it up about it. and my metric of being transgender im not ... average about how i present mysel#can someone teach me how to fag it up. the construction worker part of this is working right#sighhhh.... i have to go shower. maybe i;'ll have a shower epiphany or something. sighhhhh#sometimes in my head being a woman would be alright. but its like.. i dont even know how to decode it#i think some people would call what im feeling being genderfluid. some people might call it something else. it depends on like. you yknow#and what you want. and what makes you smile. me? not quite so sure anymore#and i think its like. this sounds like its laid quite bare right. but its hard to word even.#but sometimes im like. am i just like. talking ...? yknow what i mean.
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dennisboobs · 17 days ago
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watching ap bio past season 1
#ada speaks#im sorry lynette i cant stand any episode youre in i need more of jack hanging out with mary stef and michelle or his freakass students#it becomes so hit or miss but god there are some really good hits still 😭😭😭#i cant even explain what is wrong with lynette and jack other than the dialogue and Vibe is so rancid it makes me avert my eyes#i don't even think it was this bad on my first watch#what do you mean you guys are more like cousins. how are you as the writers acknowledging this and yet still.#anyway there are like. i think its the third episode to the sixth? unbearable#i think i remember the finale of s2 being them getting together but at least i get to see glenn breasting boobily thru the hotel hallway#i cant fucking stand how s1 effectively ended with jack being like. i like these little fuckers. and then this season is.#yeah anyway forget all that my arc is that i will grow to like toledo bc uhhh this is my conflict with lynette now. bc ofc the only reason#that a man would do Anything is for a woman he's obnoxiously in love with#nevermind the fact that they fucking had this same arc for him last season and the episode where he was like yeah fuck it#i actually Like my weird coworkers and im gonna go hang out with them instead of this miserable woman#not that lynette goes against that. but they couldnt even stick to anything relevant to like. being from toledo#shes just this. quirky snarky woman who also for some reason really loves her home town. we dont even know shit about her.#i legitimately think the biggest misstep is not having her more integrated with the other women in the show#because as it is her literal entire character revolves around jack#she shows up to interact with the rest of the cast and remind us she's working at the school only to have jack check her out or some shit#like ok. contrived plot device of a character#im going to stop talking about lynette now im sorry i wish she was written better LOL#in a show full of really fucking enjoyable women she is certainly. there!#i think its literally just like. it irks me so much because jack is just like. Waiting to get through the 'friendzone period'#and we barely see lynette after she tells him they should just. be friends. like ok. show them being friends then#she can be fun when shes involved in some crazy scheme. but no. only when its about this ~sexual tension~ is that allowed
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microwavetoaster-selfships · 2 months ago
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I know I'm sort of rapid-posting here a little bit but I've been really wanting to read the Chasing Storm book again but because I can't at the moment I'm rewatching Cars 3 and I'm realizing more and more I have less and less proper reasoning if I get questioned why I like him.
Which I'm now giggling over remembering how I used to skip over the entire middle part of the movie because I just wanted the bits of him in the beginning and ending segments. First movie that I learned every entire bit of dialog to. I used to do the dishes to that movie playing.
#“irritating. prick. What an ass.” I say contently with my heart full.#He's not even doing anything horrendous he's literally just a pain.#I can't even say that it's the book that made me like him cause it was the second he started speaking I cracked.#I was immediately like “I like a car romantically yup I'm going to Hell” /joking.#I used to recite “My taste can't possibly get any worse” years ago in middle school when I had a TMNT phase.#I would love to tell past me about current me behavior.#I'm getting more and more shameless about it. On my blog at least. So don't worry(or do).#Am I going to start hyper Jackson Storm posting now is this what is happening here. I've been sloely thinking about him more and more.#I. hold on. hoolddddd on. Im going to shout. Have I never posted art of him here. Do yall not know what he looks like how I see him.#I mean I've been planning on posting art of him with all the art things I've been vagueing at and mentioning wanting to do.#But wow I can't believe that. That's actually gonna make me go bonkers.#Then again it took me who knows how long to finally get art of Lightning on here. Nonetheless one that I actually enjoy and think properly-#-looks like him.#I suppose it makes sense it took me this long to get art of Jackson out now.#Have I. Have I even posted any screenshots. This blog is seriously lacking in the Storm department.#Especially considering obligatory mention of him being the first one I started liking and.#I will save my life story of liking him for later.#Now im not gonna say anything to jinx anything here but.#I so wanna draw him right now if it wasn't for me being in a car right now and. It is impossible for me to draw while in a car.#I can barely write while in a car! I dont know how some people pull it off.#self ship#selfship#selfshipping#self shipping#jackson🖤💙
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chalupaconspiracy · 3 months ago
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#vent post#suicide tw#my go to response to everything can not be “i want to die.” like great#its not like I actually want to or will follow through on it but fuck.#years worth of character growth and here I am back in fucking a middle school mindset.#like what even is the fucking point.#why am i trying to hard for people wuo do not care.#i feel so stupid.#and like I dont know what to do.#i tried to fix things and it just made them worse.#and i'm still in so much pain!!!!!!!!#just the funky little cherry on goddamned top.#its almost worse than highschool because at least then I didnt know what i was missing yet. and i didnt hurt all the time.#i could sleep for a day straight.#what is the point of getting up each day#being in more pain#and not able to find anything fun.#and being just a massive wet blanket to all my friends. for zero reason.#and then it just isolates me further.#and how stupid and petty and self fucking pitying it all is. like either get over it#have a massive spiral and get ACTUALLY in a dangerous situation#or just continue to sit and feel miserable for no reason and with no resolution.#like im not good at my job right now#im barely keeping my head above water.#like im so fucking done.#i dont know what to do or where to turn.#and im terrified that im going to fully dislocate my spine and be paralyzed.#it should not be floppy!!! it should not look like a patient with whiplash!#there is nothing to prevent it from moving out of place#so i just go about my life and hope that looking over my shoulder doesnt send me to the hospital.
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sonknuxadow · 2 years ago
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I'm not too big a Sonknux shipper (I don't really ship anyone with Sonic full stop) but for the sheer amount of Sonadow and rabid Sonadow shippers that popped up, I'm half tempted to create a 2:30 hour long Sonknux cinematic animation out of spite. It would be a quirky romcom with musical scenes which starts with Knuckles first meeting Sonic and ending with them kissing in front of the Master Emerald at their wedding.
i dont really have a problem with sonadow necessarily or people making jokes about them being gay in the new episode, i also went "🏳️‍🌈?" a few times while watching it. im mostly just annoyed that its everywhere at all times and so many people seem to have sonadow as their number one priority always and dont care about anything else.. like if you search sonic prime on here its just sonadow sonadow sonadow with not nearly as many posts about what actually happens in the episode or theorizing about what might happen next or even discussing sonic and shadows interactions beyond just going "omg sonadow!"... like is that really all you guys took from it? you dont care about anything else? just shipping? ok...
#and like i understand most of the sonic prime posting rn being about shadow and his interactions with sonic#because thats basically all this episode was. sonic and shadow running around#but again. most people arent even actuallytalking about any of it beyond the ship jokes. which is kind of annoying#also i kinda talked about this the other day but its so wild to me how sonic and knuckles are regularly doing the gayest shit imaginable#and most people dont care. but sonic and shadow have one or two gay moments every once in a while and the entire fanbase explodes#like im not saying you cant prefer sonic/shadow over sonic/knuckles#and im not trying to start an argument over which is better. i think the real answer is for them all to hold hands with eachother#i just dont understand why sonic/knuckles is so much less popular?#because in the actual games and comics and shows they have moments like this way more often than sonic and shadow do#but like i said most people dont really care. and when sonic and shadow so much as stand near eachother theyre suddenly canon boyfriends ??#if sonic and shadow did anything sonic and knuckles have done they would get like 10 times the reaction from it#and i know this for a fact to be true because people are currently shitting themselves over sonic carrying shadow#when sonic has carried knuckles multiple times before and barely anyone cared#like hello is everyone but me in some weird alternate dimension where shadow and knuckles have switched roles or something#sonic and knuckles are literally what people THINK sonic and shadow are i swear to god#asks#sonic prime spoilers
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