#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

liliesoftherain · 4 years ago

Text

My Hero Academia Main 3 Boys x Reader

Ch. 18 Code Names

A/N: Guess who’s back... back again.. shady’s back.. tell a friend- But really! Hey guys! I bet none of y’all missed me, but I deeply missed you.

So this is a little rant so you can 100% skip this and read the story! Enjoy!

Anyways, I kinda stopped talking to everyone I met here on tumblr, and that makes me really sad. I mean, I have no one to blame but myself, but now that I’m in a better place, I hope things can go back to normal, so, @pocket-is-obsessed @pinky-the-elephant-room @sunnieskies02 , and everyone else, I’m sorry. I love y’all, and I miss y’all.

Masterlist

If anyone wants to be added to the taglist, or if I missed you, please send an ask and I’ll add you!!

TAGLIST(ANY BOLD-I CANNOT TAG YOU FRO WHATEVER REASON): @rizamendoza808 !(: @iris-suoh !(: @quicksilverfangirl !(: @shortperson202 !(: @noodlenerd101 !(: @matchamidoriya !(: @thorsbtch-captainnoobmaster69me !(: @pastel-prynce !(: @sunkissedneptune @monetfatalia !(: @legit-fandom-trash !(: @lovethewitchofendor !(: @dekuxlink !(: @water-melone98 !(: @helena-way07 !(: @nothing17-7 !(: @hopelessdisasterr !(: @karmaboundlife !(: @lunamoonmint !(: @ihatemyselftoinfinityandbeyond !(: @beew !(: @kaylees1414 !(: @axerrri !(: @icythotsenpai !(: @iwantapoptartqwq !(: @acehyacinth !(: @sspidermanss !(: @httpswwwtbhkcom !(: @omgthatonenerd06 !(: @mochicheeks-world !(: @gvthic-gvrl !(: @jinxed-egg !(: @themagical1sa !(: @cherriomilkmangos !(: @1-800-schmacked !(: @human-watching-ads-from-devildom !(:

The following days were spent resting up, allowing your body to heal from the taxing day you endured; any cuts or bruises that had managed to slip pass Recovery Girl were now reduced to nothing but a memory. Monday came by, quicker than you hoped, and you were on the train headed towards the school grounds. You basked in the steady hum of the engine, watching the scenery fly by, until the area around you began to break out into murmurs.

“That’s Hakamata, isn’t it?”

“Best Jeanist’s daughter!”

“She won third place at the sports festival, it’s amazing!”

“Oh wow!”

“Hey, good job at the festival! I totally knew you were going to hit it big!”

“You were so close to winning!”

“Good luck!”

“Keep working!”

Exiting the train with a wave, you sigh in relief. While it left your heart fluttering with pride at the praises and recognition, it was still overwhelming to have so many people talking about you, to you, at once.

You arrived at the school gates, quickly rushing inside, shaking your umbrella off as you broke it down. You quickly grab what you need from your locker, placing your umbrella with the others before heading off to your classroom.

Pushing the door open, you smile at the conversations that were going on--everyone seemed to be in high spirits, and you missed the rambunctious energy of your friends.

“Hakamata!-” Denki was grinning and waving excitedly, turning to look at you as you sat down, “How was it coming to school this morning? I bet a lot of people noticed you! Isn’t it great how we’ve all been thrown into the spotlight after just a few days, huh?”

“I guess, it’s nothing much really. We should all be proud of how far we’ve gotten huh?”

“Of course! 1-A is awesome! Only 1-A kids took any of the top spots after all!”

Your attention is stolen as the door opens, catching the eyes of the boy who had been on your mind all weekend. Todoroki blinked at your stare, only for your eyes to be forced away as Kaminari demanded your attention on something. You struggle to focus, nodding along as you desperately try to make his words have meaning--since your thoughts drifted towards your last encounter.

“Aizawa-sensei, your bandages are gone!”

“Oh, I’m so happy!”

Your eyes snap to the front of the room, seeing your teacher--looking way better than he had previously. He looked as if nothing had ever happened, the only indication being the freshly made scar residing under his eye.

“Yes, they are. Thanks. However, more importantly, we’re having a special hero informatics class today…”

Silence hung in the air, each student desperately trying to figure out what could possibly be going on--a pop quiz, maybe?

“You all need code names.”

The class shouted in relief and excitement, only to have Aizawa glare at the noise. You all quieted down immediately, one menacing look from your teacher was all it took. Once settled, he explained further on the subject: how the code names worked, about the internships, and how these offers weren’t normally given to first years such as yourselves.

“Here, the offers…”

Aizawa clicked a remote, causing a holographic image to appear on the board, showing how many hero agencies put in offers for each student. The first three statistics were large, the rest of them dropping drastically from the thousands, to a few hundred and less.

You see your name as the second highest ranking, shocking you, beating the first-place festival winner by more than 50 whole offers.

“Normally the offers are more spread out, but this year all eyes were on these three.”

“Gah, there’s such a big difference!”

“Todoroki is first, Hakamata is second, and Bakugou is third…?”

“How is that, when Bakugou was the winner?”

“Seems the scores are the opposite of the sports festival rankings.”

“Guess some people may be too scared to ask a guy who had to be chained to his podium.”

“HAH!? What are the pros scared of!?” Bakugou whipped around, glaring at Sero for his comment.

Ignoring the loud outburst, you glance behind you at Todoroki, who looked as unbothered as ever at the fact he had the most offers. You give him a small smile as your eyes once again connect, just as they did right before the start of class, and he--surprisingly--returns the gesture.

“Despite these results, you’ll all be interning with pros. Offers or not.”

“So, we can all intern?”

“Yes. Seeing as you guys have had combat with real villains--thanks to the USJ incident. We believe it will be beneficial to see real pros up close, on the field, and to do that…”

“We need hero names!”

“Yes. They may be temporary, but take them seriously or--”

“THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY LATER!”

Aizawa was cut off by the sudden shout, the door followed by slamming open, stealing everyone’s attention. He sighed as the risque pro hero Midnight sauntered inside, smirking at the attention that fell upon her.

“Midnight is going to have final approval over your names,” your teacher starts, pulling up his sleeping bag, “It’s not my forte--but just remember, the name you give yourself represents what kind of hero you want to be. It’s important.”

What kind of hero I want to be, huh?

You were handed a stack of white cardstocks, passing the remainders back as you grabbed one for yourself. It seemed like a normal, blank canvas, but you saw it as a gateway to your future as a hero. You remember all the times you tried on different hero names--mostly different variations of your fathers, even if now you cringed at the memories.

You knew your hero name was important and necessary, a name to prove to the world who you were and what you were capable of.

‘Your hero name is supposed to represent your desires-- to allow you to become your ideal self. What kind of hero do you want to prove yourself to be, or better yet, just--who are you?’

You take a deep breath, taking comfort in your father’s words as you write down your name…

“Now students, who is ready to share?”

You watch the students go up one-by-one; cringing slightly at the--extravagant--name Aoyama had chosen from himself, feeling bad for Mina as she was sent back to her desk to rethink, and giddy at the cute name Tsu had picked. The rest of the names went by alright until Todoroki had gone up to present his hero name.

“Shoto.”

“Oh,” Midnight blinked in surprise, “just your name?”

“Yeah.”

You frown slightly, Shoto hadn’t looked up, choosing to stare down at the podium with a blank expression instead. You watch as he trudged his way back to his desk, still no eye contact towards anyone as he sat down. Biting your lip, you try to shake the image from your mind. He had his reasons, and you didn’t have to know them.

“Jet Black Hero: Tsukuyomi!”

“Oh, God of the Night! I love it!”

You snap your attention back towards the front, giving a small clap to Tokoyami as he presents his name. He bows at the class before sitting down.

Mineta and Koda present their names, both very fitting and true to their image. You felt yourself grow the tad bit eager as Bakugou was the next one to present his name.

‘I wonder what it could be? He excels in just about everything, he must have a really cool hero name picked out-’

“KING EXPLOSION MURDER.”

The name wasn’t what got you, it was the serious look on his face as he said it that did. You slap a hand over your mouth, snickering as quietly as you could into your palm. You weren’t the only one holding back giggles, Eijiro, Sero, and Kaminari doing the same.

“Um, I’m going to have to say that one is too violent.”

“Hah!? Whaddya mean-”

“Why don’t you be Explosion Boy instead!” Eijiro suggests.

“Nah, he should be Grenades!” You chime in, a smirk on your face as you mimic his gauntlets.

“Or what about ‘BOOM PSH BAWHH’, you know, explosion noises!” Denki laughs.

“How would you even spell that-”

“SHUT UP ALL OF YOU, OR I’LL SHOW YOU WHY MURDER SHOULD BE IN MY NAME!” Bakugou interrupts, a scowl on his face as he yells at the three of you.

“Maybe your hero name should be ‘Anger Issues’, it’s fitting, dontcha think-”

You were cut off by a growl from Bakugou, his face morphing into pure anger as he points straight at you.

“BRING IT, GLOW WORM! I BET YOUR HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE CRAPPY.”

You say nothing in return, standing up and making your way towards the podium, giving him a teasing smile as you got close enough.

“Go sit down and maybe you’ll see.”

“Good idea, go sit down and rethink your name a bit, Bakugou.” Midnight agrees, clapping her hands to diffuse the tension.

He grumbles on the way back to his desk, and you just face the class with a sheepish grin.

“Well, here’s what I want to be--who I will be; Luminary!”

You picked a name like Luminary because you wanted to prove that you were more than just another person; you wanted to be the guiding light, leading people to justice, leading people to their hope. Maybe you weren’t there yet, you did have a long way to go before you could be considered a pro, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t going to try.

You’d be the light, shining in the darkness, for all others to see and follow.

“Oh how sweet, you’ll be a very inspiring hero, I’m sure!”

You shyly smile at the applauds, only for the demeanor to change, a smirk growing as you see Bakugou roll his eyes and look away.

Checkmate.

After a few more people presenting, Izuku shakily stands at the podium, taking a deep breath before showing his cardstock.

Blinking in surprise, you zone in on the singular word on the card, raising an eyebrow questioningly at the boy.

“Really Midoriya?”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah man, remember that can be your name forever.”

“Right,” He looks down, “I used to hate it, but then something changed… I guess, someone taught me that it could have a different meaning, and that had a huge impact on how I felt about it. So now, I like it!”

You smile wide as he makes direct eye contact, giving him a nod of encouragement.

“Deku, that has to be my code name!”

-----

“Now that that’s all done, we can go back to talking about the upcoming internships. They are a week long, and as to who you’ll be interning with; if you were on the board, you will choose from one of the offers you were given, as for everyone else, you’ll be choosing from a different list.”

The lists were handed out as soon as the bell rang overhead, signaling the end of the first half of the day, and the beginning of lunch.

“I wanna fight crime and bad guys in a big city!” Kirishima grinned, eyes taking in every name on his sheet of paper.

“I just hope I can intern at a place where there’s a lot of water!” Tsu sighed.

“Turn in your choices before the weekend.”

“We’ve only got two days!?”

“Yeah, so you better figure it out. Dismissed for lunch.”

Aizawa shut the door as he and Midnight walked out, leaving the class to class among themselves.

You read down the list, sighing in defeat as you had multiple papers of agencies stapled together. You should feel grateful, and you do, but there were too many places to choose from! Plus, you were probably just going to end up interning with your dad--

You pause as you read a specific agency, blinking before rereading it to make sure you weren’t seeing things. You weren’t, because right there in bold lettering:

“Endeavor Hero Agency”

What could Endeavor possibly want you to intern with him for?

Taking a look around the room you see most of your classmates breaking off into groups--some heading for the mess hall, and others staying in their seats. You spot Todoroki as he walks out the door.

“Ne, (y/n), what agency are you thinking of-”

“Sorry Eijiro, I’ll talk to you later,” You smile apologetically, standing up to race after the boy--not feeling the few pairs of eyes on your body as you leave.

“Todoroki, wait up!”

He turns to you, confusion in his eyes but waits for you nonetheless. You stop in front of him, clutching onto the list you had brought with you.

“Yes?” His voice was vacant of emotion, and while it was normal, it made you feel nervous.

“Uh, sorry, I just have something to tell you.”

He tilts his head, an indicator for you to continue, and you take a deep breath before presenting him the paper. His eyes search the words, bewildered as he tries to understand what you were trying to show him. Pointing at the hero agency you knew he was familiar with, you see how his eyes widen ever so slightly.

“Endeavor made me an offer…”

“I see.”

“Well, I just wanted to say I won’t-”

“You should take it.”

Your brows furrow, taken aback by his statement.

“What?”

He hands you back your list, looking straight into your eyes with a small flame of determination.

“You should take it. It’s a great opportunity to be working with the number two hero.”

“I was going to go for my dad, who still is in the top five, you know.” You respond, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Oh,” Todoroki’s eyes widen once more, “sorry. I didn’t mean to say your father... he is a great hero. I just… I may hate my father, but I know working with the number two hero will provide some benefits. His agency is pretty good with things like rescue and evacuation, along with battle. It’s a good opportunity, something different than what you see every day at your father’s own agency. Isn’t it good to want to get a new perspective on things? To take these ideas you learn, and make them your own, I guess?”

You’re unsure of what to say, agreeing with the boy internally as his gaze falls towards the ground.

“I know I want to be a better hero than my old man. I want to be seen as someone not in his shadow, not ‘Endeavors son’. And if that means I have to put up with him for a week, so be it. I’ll learn to be better, I swear it.”

“Um,” You rub your arm shyly, “so that means you’ll be interning with him, then?”

Todoroki nods in response.

“Well, I suppose that means I’ll see you there. If, um, if you’re okay with that.”

“Yea, I am.”

You smile, and a spark of emotion floods through his eyes as he mirrors your expression, and it somehow makes you relax. He was completely right; he had said everything you had ever thought about yourself, how you wanted to prove that you were more than just a daughter of a great hero. That you were a great hero yourself.

With that in mind, you had no regrets as you turned in your list--even if it was Endeavors Agency.

You’d be ready.

142 notes · View notes

celestialtitania · 4 years ago

Text

A Preposterous Predicament

This fic was written for 11JJ11 on AO3 and FFN. Thank you to @khanofallorcs for betaing.

Read on AO3, FFN or below the cut!

Marinette ran into school, about an hour late for class. The last akuma attack had taken far too long and she hadn't even been able to properly feed Tikki. She'd had to recharge in the middle of the battle and then she hadn't had enough cookies.

"Marinette?" Tikki stuck her head out of Marinette's purse.

"I know, Tikki. Let me get to my locker, I have lots of cookies there!" Tikki nodded at Marinette weakly before settling back down. The poor thing seemed so weak. "I'm so sorry," Marinette apologized for the umpteenth time.

"It's okay, Marinette," Tikki sighed, clearly exhausted.

"No, it's not, Tikki," Marinette refuted as she walked into the locker room and attempted to wrench her locker open. She ended up pulling with far too much force and ended up toppling over. She picked herself up slowly by holding onto the locker door.

"Here we go," Marinette sighed as she spotted the familiar bakery bag, full of cookies. Fishing out a large chocolate chip cookie, she handed it to Tikki while she gathered her supplies.

"Well, looks like I missed Mlle. Bustier's class. It's time for Science and I'm ten minutes late!" Marinette scrambled out the door, running to the classroom. She desperately hoped Mlle. Mendeleiev wouldn't notice her late entry. Or at least not care enough to comment.

No such luck. As soon as Marinette pushed the door open, she fell over her own two feet and slammed to the ground, front first. "Ouch," she groaned as Mlle. Mendeleiev stared down at her.

"Yes, thank you for announcing your entrance, Marinette," she sighed. "Care to explain why you're late this time?"

Marinette flushed pink as she flailed her arms, while trying to come up with an excuse. After a few moments of pointless babbling, Mlle. Mendeleiev shook her head and pointed Marinette towards her seat.

Marinette sighed in relief as she sat down next to Alya. Her best friend was shaking her head at her fondly. Marinette gave Alya a sheepish grin in reply, before turning to pay attention.

An exhausting hour of Chemistry later, Mme. Mendeleiev set them free for lunch.

"Girl, you will not believe what you missed today," Alya was telling her. "Where were you anyways?"

Marinette blinked as she got out of her seat. "I...um….Oh I was–," Marinette was thankfully spared from answering when she tripped for the third time that day. What was happening to her? She was clumsy, yes, but not that clumsy!

She looked down to see a bag tangled in her feet. So that was it. She needed to pay better attention to where she was going. A yawn cut off her train of thought, as she untangled the bag straps from her feet. Clearly, a good night's sleep would help too.

"Woah, what is that?" Alya was exclaiming. Marinette turned to look at whatever it was that Alya found so fascinating, only to find her vision blocked by Adrien.

"Hi, Marinette!" The boy greeted her with a sunny smile. Marinette felt her heart come to a grinding halt, the brightness of his smile making her feel warm from head to toe.

"A-Adrien!" She squeaked out, her face burning hot. His smile grew a little brighter and Marinette found it hard to breathe.

"Need a hand?" He asked, as he offered her his outstretched hand. Hesitantly, Marinette placed her hand in his and let him pull her up. She stumbled a little as he did, and caught his shoulder to regain her balance. His grip on her hand tightened as his other hand automatically went around her waist.

They looked at each other, their faces far too close. Marinette turned a bright shade of pink as she practically leaped away from Adrien.

"Th-thank you!" She stammered out, as she blinked up at him. Unfortunately, she didn't get much of a chance to see Adrien's reaction or talk to him further, because that was when Alya made her presence known.

She had one hand on her hip and a foot was tapping impatiently. Marinette stared at Alya with raised eyebrows, completely confused. She couldn't remember the last time her best friend had ever interrupted her while she was trying to talk to Adrien.

Then Marinette took a closer look and nearly had a heart attack. In Alya's other hand was Tikki. Alya shoved Tikki into her face, so Marinette could see her kwami up close. "What is this?" Tikki's expression had turned into one of panic and Marinette tried to mentally reassure Tikki that it would all be okay.

Alya pulled Tikki away from her and leaned in, waiting for an answer.

Marinette blinked rapidly, trying to come up with anything that would protect her secret identity. Beside her, she could hear Adrien choking, but there were far more important things at stake.

"It fell out of your purse, Marinette. What is it?" Alya was demanding loudly. Marinette bit her lip, while she tried to think a way out of this mess.

Nino had come up to them, wondering why they were taking so long, when he too saw what was in Alya's hand. He stifled a tiny gasp as he threw his girlfriend a questioning look. In answer to his silent question, Alya simply pointed at Marinette.

Marinette took the opportunity to take a closer look at Tikki, hanging limply from Alya's grasp, and noticed she was playing dead. If Marinette didn't know any better she'd think Tikki was just a doll. At the thought, a lightbulb went off in Marinette's head.

"That's a doll," Marinette replied, trying to sound confident. Alya took another look at Tikki, seeming to carefully examine her.

"Okay," she said slowly, a worried expression appearing on her face. "But how did you get it?" Alya's eyes took on a certain glint. "Could you tell me the store you bought it from? I'd love to get one of my own."

"Bought?" Marinette squawked. Alya raised an eyebrow at her questioningly, pretending to be innocent. Marinette swallowed, her eyes darting left and right. "I mean….does it really look that good? I made h–it myself!"

Alya brought Tikki closer to eye level. Then, she showed Nino, who seemed just as cautious, if not more. Marinette knew that both of them were mentally comparing Tikki to their own kwamis and mentally groaned.

"How did you get the inspiration for it, Marinette?" Adrien spoke up, the smile on his face brighter than ever.

"Inspiration?" Marinette repeated, feeling a fresh wave of panic wash over her. She stared at the floor, her mind whirling.

"Good question, bro! The design is pretty unique, dude, how'd you come up with it?" Nino followed through.

Marinette wracked her brain, trying to come up with any plausible reason to have created such a 'doll'. Then it hit her, the perfect way to throw off suspicion was to add a grain of truth. "It's based off of Ladybug's kwami."

Alya and Nino gaped at her while Adrien pretended to be confused. If Marinette had been paying better attention, she would have wondered about Adrien's strange reaction. He should have known what a kwami was, he had been Aspik after all.

"How, how do you know Ladybug's kwami?" Alya asked, her voice dropped down to a whisper. Nino and Adrien were staring at her in the same kind of wonder, and slight suspicion in Adrien's case. Marinette was determined to not let that rattle her.

"I...a few weeks ago Mme. Mendeleiev got akumatized! Ladybug asked me to help her then," Marinette shrugged, her heart feeling like it was beating a thousand beats per minute. She was moments away from a full blown panic attack. Please believe me, she prayed to every deity out there.

"You were a superhero?" Nino asked, awe clear in his voice. Marinette felt a little offended for a second. He was a superhero, was it that surprising that she could be one too? Marinette had to remind herself that it was a good thing her friends didn't think she could be a superhero. That was how she was able to keep her secret identity just that. A secret.

"Y-yeah!" Marinette gave them a falsely bright smile.

"What kind of hero?" Alya interrogated as she pulled out her phone to take notes; she was in full reporter mode now.

"The mouse," Marinette smiled.

"That's kinda cute," Adrien mused, his green eyes bright and clear. They were so mesmerizing, she could easily get lost in them. "It makes sense Ladybug chose Marinette. She's our Everyday Ladybug after all."

Marinette turned a bright red at that, as she tried to remain cool and collected. She quietly pinched herself, to keep herself from going to dreamland. This wasn't the time for that, there were more important things happening. Far more important than her crush paying her a compliment.

"So, how did that result in you meeting Ladybug's kwami?" Alya was asking excitedly while Nino's expression had turned into one of horror.

"Dude! Why did you tell us that? Now Ladybug will never call on you again!"

"How do you know that?" Marinette asked suspiciously, throwing the spotlight on Nino for a moment. She almost felt bad for making him panic about protecting his secret identity, but she needed a break.

"Well, you know! Superheroes and their secret identities and all that. We all know how strict Ladybug is about identities," Alya covered for Nino. He nodded along enthusiastically.

"Oh, I see," Marinette hummed. "Though that doesn't stop you from asking about Ladybug's!" She noted, to which Alya sheepishly shrugged, causing Marinette to sigh. "Well, I don't have to worry about that. I accidentally revealed myself in front of Chat Noir, so Ladybug already said she couldn't call on me again." Marinette gave them a small, sad smile, acting as if she had accepted she would never be a hero again.

"That's too bad, Marinette," Adrien gave her a sympathetic look. Her smile grew shy as she shrugged at him.

"Did you ask Ladybug before making a doll about her kwami?" Alya worried.

"I think Hawkmoth already knows kwamis exist," Marinette pointed out dryly.

"She has a point, babe," Nino fiddled with his hat. Alya handed Tikki back to Marinette, who quickly took her back and put her back in her purse.

"That didn't explain how you met Ladybug's kwami," Adrien interrupted.

"Well...I met Ladybug and Chat Noir's kwamis," Marinette corrected, as she told the three about the story of Kwamibuster. Considering she never planned on using that trick again, she didn't mind letting them know some of the details. At the end of her story, Alya and Nino were nodding in understanding.

"That sounded rad, dude," Nino complimented and offered her a fist bump. Marinette tapped her fist against his.

"Yeah, let's get to lunch!" Alya agreed, as she swung an arm around Marinette.

"You guys go! I'll be right there!" Marinette ducked underneath Alya's arm. She just needed a moment alone, so she could talk to Tikki and calm her nerves.

Alya and Nino gave her a puzzled look before they shrugged and nodded. Waving, they left her to her own devices.

Marinette could still hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears as she let out a sigh of relief. She grabbed a hold of her purse and was just about to begin speaking to Tikki, when a voice spoke up.

"You alright, Marinette?" The purse fell from Marinette's hands as she squealed in surprise. She could hear Tikki give a tiny squeak and mentally winced in apology. Marinette looked up to see Adrien biting back a smile at her antics.

"Guess Ladybug was right to give you the Mouse Miraculous," he chuckled. Marinette wanted to dig a hole into the ground and disappear forever.

"Could I see your doll again?" He asked politely. Marinette's hands flew to her purse protectively. "It's just, I'm a big fan of Ladybug. I don't want to bug you or anything, but I'd love a doll of her kwami myself."

Marinette blinked and stuttered as she looked around for an escape route, anything that would allow her to distract Adrien without seeming suspicious. Adrien's expression didn't change as he expectantly held out his hand.

"Y-you see, I really should be–," Marinette protested anyways, but when she saw Adrien's big, green eyes pout at her, she was rendered useless. Silently, she reached into her purse and despite Tikki frantically tapping Marinette's hand in disapproval, brought her out for Adrien to see.

Adrien bowed his head to take a closer look and rubbed Tikki's head. Marinette held her breath, hoping Tikki wouldn't move. "Great workmanship, Marinette!" He flicked his eyes towards her and gave her an earnest smile. "I can't even see the seams!"

Marinette nervously smiled in agreement. "She even smells like cookies! Much better choice than Camembert," Adrien laughed, as he kept his eyes trained on her.

Marinette laughed with him, slightly puzzled by his words but far too relieved to truly notice anything wrong in that statement.

"Does your Tikki come with matching earrings?"

"Earrings?" Marinette's eyes widened as she frantically shook her head. "What earrings? No earrings here!"

Adrien gave her a patient smile as Marinette took a breath trying to calm down. At least she was able to speak proper words around Adrien, that was a win in her book. It was especially surprising considering how panicked she was, she couldn't even think straight!

"You've captured her sweetness perfectly! I wonder if you could do the same to Plagg," Adrien suggested. There was something in the way he was looking at her, but Marinette couldn't put her finger on it.

She blankly nodded along, her other hand was twitching. The sooner Tikki was hidden away, the better. She never should've given in! Her anxiety was killing her. Adrien gave Tikki one last look before backing away. Marinette quickly tucked Tikki away and gave Adrien a frazzled smile.

She was just about to turn and leave, to regain some of her sanity, when the last few minutes of the conversation ran through her mind. Didn't want to bug her. Tikki. Camembert. Plagg. Marinette whirled around, mouth gaping and one finger pointed at Adrien.

Adrien tilted his head innocently. "Marinette?"

Marinette opened her mouth before closing it again. She shook her head before trying again, but nothing would come out. All the clues were there but she still wasn't sure. Until she was, Marinette couldn't take that chance, there just had to be a logical explanation for this.

The only one she could think of though, was Adrien being Chat Noir. After watching Marinette try to talk a few times, Adrien sighed.

"Cat got your tongue?" He smirked at her. Adrien Agreste was smirking at her. Marinette didn't know how to react. That could mean something else, it didn't have to mean what she thought it meant, did it?

Adrien seemed to understand what she was thinking because his smirk grew wider. "How clawful, Purr-incess! Haven't you figured it out yet?"

Princess. The only one to call her that was...Marinette's eyes grew wide as she silently took in his confirmation.

"Th-then you really are?" She croaked out, feeling it hard to breathe. Adrien walked behind her to close the classroom door, before nodding.

"It's me, Bugaboo," he was grinning, looking ridiculously happy.

A black blur zoomed out of Adrien's shirt at the same time Tikki flew out of Marinette's purse.

"That was just painful," Plagg complained.

"Oh hush, Stinky Sock. She just needs some time to process!" Tikki argued weakly, she herself was giving Marinette an incredulous look.

"You did a great job playing dead!" Adrien complimented Tikki, who glowed under the praise.

"Not good enough," Plagg pointed out, making Tikki immediately turn to scowl at him.

"He's been Mister Bug! Of course he didn't buy it!"

"That's enough you two," Adrien scolded the kwamis while he kept his watchful gaze on Marinette.

Marinette couldn't stop staring at him. Adrien was Chat Noir? Polite, sweet Adrien was her flirtatious partner who cracked the worst jokes? She couldn't even reconcile the two boys as one in her mind, let alone accept it in reality.

The longer she stayed silent, the more the bright smile on Adrien's face faded, until it had disappeared entirely, a bitter one replacing it. "Are you disappointed it's me, m'lady?" He had finally looked away from her and Marinette felt panic swell in her throat.

She frantically shook her head. "No!" She shouted, as she waved her hands trying to convince him, as she stumbled towards him. Adrien caught her hands with his, making Marientte's insides turn to mush. "Never," she whispered.

"I believe you. It's a lot to take in, isn't it?" He was smiling brightly again, so Marinette calmed down.

"How come you aren't freaking out?" She complained, her face was radiating so much heat, she felt like she was in a sauna.

"Trust me, when I saw Tikki in Alya's hand, I freaked out plenty," he laughed, looking at her softly. Marinette peered up at him, trying to read his expression. "I'm not disappointed either if that's what you're wondering," he added, a Cheshire cat grin on his face.

Marinette squeaked as she bowed her head, trying to avoid looking at him.

"I do have to ask though, how did you pull off Multimouse? I almost doubted myself, but well, not even you can make a kwami doll that convincing, LB."

Marinette pulled her hands away from Adrien reluctantly, so she could use them to cover her face. "I used the Fox Miraculous," she mumbled into her hands.

"What?" Adrien questioned as he tried to tug her hands away.

"I said, I used the Fox Miraculous," Marinette huffed. Adrien's eyes widened in understanding, his eyes becoming softer as he laced his fingers with hers.

Marinette squeaked as she tried to think of just about anything else. A thought crossed her mind and her eyes widened as a new flash of panic went through her. "Tikki! We... I mean identities!" She got out, fear tinging her voice.

"It's fine, Marinette," Tikki reassured. "It was about time you two knew each other's identities. Not knowing was causing more problems anyways."

"We're just surprised it took you so long. The kid wasn't exactly being subtle," Plagg cackled.

Tikki looked like she wanted to argue but even she was looking at Marinette in disappointment.

"I was panicking! It's not like I knew he was Chat Noir!" Marinette tried to defend herself. When they all stared at her in disbelief, Marinette groaned and covered her face with her hands again.

"It's okay, I still love you m'lady," Adrien grinned. Marinette peeked at him from behind her fingers in surprise. He froze, as it dawned on him what he had just said.

"I-I mean!" It was Adrien's turn to stammer, as his face turned pink.

Plagg was snickering while Tikki sighed. Marinette stood there frozen while Adrien searched for something to say. Marinette took in a deep breath before taking pity on him. "How about we go get lunch first? I'm sure Alya and Nino are wondering where we are."

Adrien nodded. "Good idea," he smiled. He still seemed a bit nervous so Marinette offered him her hand. Tikki and Plagg were still laughing as they went into their respective hiding places.

"We'll take this one step at a time, alright, Kitty?" She whispered as he held on to her hand tightly.

"It's you and me," Adrien grinned back.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #marinette dupain cheng #ml tikki #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #adrienette #ladynoir #love square #marichat #identity reveal #humor

56 notes · View notes

jtsfavslut · 4 years ago

Text

Stages [6/6]

Description: In which a girl goes through six stages to realize and accept the fact that her marriage is going downhill.

Stage Three: Acceptance

Description: Just when Yeimy accepts her life the way it is, she gets unexpected news.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2k+

Acceptance (n.): a person's assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition

Two and a half months. Two months and fifteen days and you were feeling free.

You had taken a week off of work, by simply completing all your work a week before.

You sat down by yourself at the beach and had a mental conversation with yourself.

It took you two months and fifteen days to accept the reality that you and Grayson were no longer together.

The reality that you were alone, at least for now.

You haven't talked to Karina or Ethan, or any else you knew since the day you left Grayson’s office.

They had called you, visited you but you declined every call and pretended you weren’t home until they finally gave up, leaving you a letter.

A letter telling you that they respected your decision of not wanting to have contact with anyone or anything. Letting you know that they loved you and that they were always ready to listen.

Not wanting to be that selfish, you sent Karina a text telling her how sorry you were for your actions, but that you needed some time.

Time away from everyone and everything.

And that was it.

The main reason was that Ethan reminded you of him in many ways, since they were twins, obviously.

The other main reason is that you wanted to close that chapter in your life once and for all, and you did.

And finally, you came in terms with the fact that this was now your life.

Going to work early in the morning, surviving the entire day with just a coffee and a bagel or croissant, then going home to cook a sad little meal for yourself and go to bed.

You would sometimes go to the beach, straight after work, blasting your oh so depressing indie music.

You were fine until one day you were listening to Tame Impala, and your mind went straight to the thought of him.

That being because you two bonded over your love for Tame Impala. You pulled up to work one day while blasting the Inner Speaker, the sounds of ‘Solitude Is Bliss’ caused Grayson to come up to you and asked if you listened to them on the regular.

FLASHBACK:

“I do, I literally play them every day,” you smiled walking next to him to the building’s door.

“Me too, they’re just so good,” he replied with a smile on his face, holding the door open for you, causing a light red tint to spread across your foundation covered cheeks.

“Thanks” you whispered and he nodded his head with a smile.

“Hey, maybe we can listen to them together after work?” he awkwardly asked once you were in the elevator for a few seconds, just you and him.

“I would love too, I actually know a place,” you replied with a shy smile as his eyes looked at you, begging you to say yes.

“Cool, umm I’ll wait for you at the parking lot, and then umm we can grab a bite or something,” he shyly replied, his blushing state making you smile and feel slightly better about blushing.

“Yeah, I’ll be inside your office all day anyways, sorting through papers,” you replied, mentally slapping yourself for being so shy. But then again, it was your third week in the internship and you were already flirting with your boss, who was infarct just a couple of years older than you.

“Right, there’s not that much to do today Marie, that’s your name, right? Please tell me it is?” he said as the elevator’s doors opened causing you to giggle as you both walked out.

“Lol, yeah it’s my middle name, my first name is Yeimy,” you replied and he let out a relieved sigh.

“Thank God, I thought I already messed up,” he joked while laughing.

“Nope, not yet Mr.Dolan,” you replied, following inside the office and taking a seat at your desk that was in the corner.

“Please call me Grayson, that makes me feel old,” he said and you sent him a confused look. “I’m only 21. Why do I look old?” he asked, making you laugh.

“No, no, no” you quickly let out. “You just seem mature and you’re built more grown like,” you said explaining how he had a grown man's body, you only realized what you’d said when you saw the smirk on his face.

“Oh god no, that sounds so inappropriate, I’m sorry,” you quickly apologized while he laughed.

“Marie, nowhere in the contract that you signed did it say it was wrong for us to flirt, and may I saw, you have a mature body too,” he replied with a cocky smirk and you blushed. You spent the rest of the day avoiding eye contact. Grayson made you feel nervous, yet giddy, it was a weird feeling. You liked it but you thought it was wrong, and boy was you in for a ride.

End of Flashback.

You quickly changed the song before you got yourself even deeper into your memories.

Yeah, you accepted the fact that everything between you and him was done for, but you also accepted the fact that you’ll never love anyone else like him.

Grayson was the love of your life.

Grayson was your person.

And you thought that when people said ‘right person, wrong time’ it was just a lie, but it was true.

Grayson was, and will always be your person, but the timing was wrong, unfortunately.

But that was what had happened in your life for the past two months, nothing.

You just worked, ate, workout watched Netflix, and slept. As Well as the usual night drives and constant visits to the beach.

In need of a physical for work, you had set up an appointment for 10 in the morning, and by 9 o’clock you were already dressed in some mom jeans and a cropped tee with some simple white air forces and out the door and on your way to the doctor’s office.

You dreaded going to the Doctors, not because you were scared, but because of the wait.

Once they called you in, you got up with a sigh and followed the lady inside the room, where she took your vitals, checked your height and weight, and gave you a cup to pee in, which you quickly did because you knew this was coming and held it on all the way till here.

“Hi, Yeimy, I’m Dr.Kelly, we’re gonna start with a few questions. Is that ok?” Your doctor asked after she walked inside the room after knocking a few times.

You nodded your head in response letting out a low ‘yeah’

“Ok, I know these are awkward but we have to ask everyone these, ok?” she said and started talking before you could even respond.

“Have you smoked any marijuana, or consumed any products with it?” she asked and you shook your head saying no.

“Smoked cigarettes?” she asked and you shook your head with disgust causing her to laugh.

“Never,” you replied and she let out a ‘good’ checking it off the list.

“Do you drink alcohol?” she asked.

“Nope,” you replied and she crossed that off the list.

“Last one. Have you had any unprotected sex within the last three months?” she asked looking up from her paper as you stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“Yeah,” you sighed. Recalling the last time you had fucked anyone was when you found out Grayson was cheating on after he had done just about everything to you.

“Any pregnancy symptoms? Just know we’ll do a test with your urine to make sure, and if it were to come positive we’ll send you to the Ob/Gyn’s office and help you with everything you need,” she said with a reassuring smile after she noticed your mood swift from calm to nervous and stiff.

“Ok, yeah thanks,” you softly whispered out with a smile.

“Ok sweetie, you seemed just about fine, vitals are good, your weight is good, height seems a little short for your age but other than that everything is good,” she said getting up from her chair as you chuckled at the height part.

“I’ll be right back, with your results. And everything will be alright, there are always options,” she said trying to make you feel better before she left.

Which didn’t work at all?

What if you were pregnant? You knew abortion wasn’t the answer for you, but what would you do.

You knew you were going to keep it, throwing adoption out of the window,

The only concern was regarding Grayson.

If you are pregnant, are you going to tell him? Or are you gonna raise the child all by yourself?

What would be his reaction? I mean for the love of God, you were just starting to get over the man...sort off.

You didn’t even know if you were or weren’t pregnant and you were already overthinking everything, and being alone in a small, white and quiet room wasn’t helping. Not even a bit.

You pushed them to the back of your mind, trying to think of something else even though they still lingered around.

The doctor was gone for five minutes, but those five minutes seemed like five hours due to your nervous state.

“Congrats Yeimy, you’re pregnant. You’re about three months, and two weeks, we’re not exactly sure, but the Ob/Gyn can tell you that once we set up an appointment,” she said, your ears only hearing the pregnant part.

It was at that exact moment that your life had changed, for the second time this year.

But in your mind, it was something somewhat positive.

Positive in the aspect that you had wanted kids all your life, so this was making you happy, and knowing you weren’t going to be alone.

But negative because you were going to have to raise a child all by yourself, you had the money, the housing, and everything a child needed to grow up.

The only thing you didn’t have to provide was a father.

It was wrong. Wrong on so many levels. And selfish too, but as you sat in your kitchen for almost two hours, thinking and trying to come up with a solution.

You decided you weren’t going to tell him. At least not yet. You and him were done for, and you didn’t want to bring him back into your life.

You couldn’t. You just got over him and accepted the fact that you had gotten divorced.

And you kept it to yourself. It was easy, after getting a divorce from Grayson, all the spotlight you had was take away too, which you were grateful for. You deleted every social media, and you were back to your previous social status, somehow.

Now you were just a writer for Vogue who dated a celebrity and now doesn’t, which helped you hide the pregnancy away from everyone.

The only thing you care about now is your baby.

That was it.

So you started eating healthier, stressing less and getting a good night sleep every night.

You had also told your boss, who you had a good work-relationship with. She always listened to you and you did to her.

She was so happy when you told her, and told you how she was going to spoil him or her, and how she was going to let you work from home since she knew you had nobody.

You loved her, she was like the mom you never had, since she was old enough to be your mom, but had the mentally to understand people your age.

Knowing that took a large amount of stress off your shoulder, since you knew that when the baby was born, you would have all the time and everything you’ll need to raise him or her properly.

Because from that day on, all you had and still have is your baby, a tiny little bean inside your uterus that you don’t even know the gender of.

Tags: @angelgrayson @rhyrhy462 @333dolans @vinylhazza @fangdolan @dolanissues es @mercurygrant @persistence-ofmemories @dolansficsandpics @blindedbythelightt @kinkygrays @pineappledols @the-evolution-of-stupidity @evergreendolan @beatement-l l @graydolan12

#grayson dolan #ethan dolan #graysonbailey #dolan twins #ethangrant #grayson x reader #grayson bailey #graysonsmut #dolan fandom #grayson #Grayson Stages #stages

46 notes · View notes

deliberatelyvague · 5 years ago

Text

Spotlight (Asmodeus x fem!reader)

Started: April 5, 2020 at 7:42pm

Ended: April 5, 2020 at 8:50pm

Word Count: 2,030

Shipping: [Asmodeus x fem!reader]

Trigger Warning: cutting, eating disorder, (notes of) depression

Author’s Note: Uhh so here’s another one. I enjoy writing stories, so please, continue requesting!

Prompt/Request: OK SO IDK WHICH ONE I WANT TO REQUEST SO IM DOING BOTH. Can I request a mc x asmo scenario where mc is a super duper popular idol but it’s later revealed that in order to keep her beauty she develop an eating disorder and started to develop depression resulting in cutting her self?? Sorry for the weird ask!!

—————

You had always heard the saying ‘beauty is pain’. You didn’t realize how much pain it was, however, until you got down to the Devildom. Of course, you weren’t totally off Scott-free, your fans still expected some content, and you were in no place to deny them that.

Now, you loved the majority of your fans. They always backed you up, defended you and the link, but there was just somethings they couldn’t defend you from. Including yourself, unfortunately.

Getting famous started moderately fine, you went viral because of your singing videos, and you guess some modeling businesses enjoyed your looks and attitude enough that they asked if you could do some shoots. From then on, it was a whirlwind of sessions, meet and greets, starving yourself and self harming.

That last part was relatively new, and it was caused by some hate that you had received. Well, hate was to put it in modern terms. A tabloid had started rumors that you had gained weight, which wasn’t wrong (you were still growing and maturing, your body weight is going to fluctuate), but they stretched it beyond what it was and paired it with some terrible pictures taken with your guard down. It all mixed to create a terrible atmosphere, especially when other tabloids started to gossip about your weight as well.

Eventually it seemed that your weight was the only thing important. So, you started to cut down on food. You started to take walks and workout moderately regularly, and the results were almost instantaneous. You dropped a few pounds a week, your figure slimmed down and you had never felt better. But then, the opposite effect happened with the tabloids, talking about how much weight you had lost, but this time they were praising you. You loved that feeling, it’s why you continued singing and modeling anyway.

People called you beautiful and you thrived off the attention, which is probably why when you went to the Devildom you and Asmodeus hit it off so quickly.

You two were best friends within the first week you were there- and since he had a tendency of going partying after school and hanging out with other friends of his on some days, he never noticed how little you truly ate.

None of the other brother’s noticed, or you figured they didn’t.

But then something happened, you stopped losing weight as quickly as you had been. This sends you into spirals of anxiety, making you cut back more and more, exercise more. But it didn’t work. In fact, one week when you had weighed in, you had gained weight.

As you stared at that number flashing at you, the number that was only a pound above where it had been last week, you started sobbing.

Thoughts piled up in your mind about how you weren’t good enough anymore, about how your fans will leave you, about how Asmodeus would leave you. His friendship meant the world to you, and you would be lying if you told yourself that a friendship was all that you wanted from him.

But he was out partying with demons that were better than you, no doubt, ones that were skinnier, more confident, and yards better than you in everything.

In the back of your mind, you remembered the hater’s comments on some of your most popular songs, telling you about doing things to your body. You remember the tabloids gossiping about self-harm scars on popular actresses' bodies, and you thought about why they would do that. It’s said to be a pleasure source, something that makes the person doing it feel better.

You would do anything to feel actually, genuinely happy, for once, so before you even thought about it you had popped a blade out of the razor in the bathroom and pressed it to your hip. You almost never showed off your stomach, so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

You flinched away from the wound almost immediately, the pain coming in tiny spikes. But then, eventually, there was a bit of pleasure coming from it, watching little dots of blood pop up and drip down your hip and fall onto the ground. You cut yourself again, then once more.

You swallowed, breaking out of the trance the red lines had put you in before you realized that you needed to finish your homework. You cleaned up your cuts, sliding on a pair of loose-fitting joggers and a shirt you had taken from Asmodeus and padded over to your desk, sitting in the sodden chair, trying not to bother the cuts more than the pants would already. You quickly finished the homework, well as quickly as you could when every few minutes or so you would move slightly and the cuts would be agitated, and for a few quick moments you considered taking off your pants, but you didn’t know when Asmodeus would make his way to your room and come in without knocking like he usually did.

Though eventually you did change into some sleeping shorts, ones that almost fell off of your body, and that were practically bootie shorts.

“Doll, I’m coming in,” you heard Asmodeus’ voice through the door before he opened it. You were laying on your back on your bed, your head hanging off and your DDD in your hand.

“Asmo!” You called gleefully, his face immediately lightening your mood substantially. “How was the party?”

“It wasn’t as good as the one the other week, you remember that one, right doll? The one I forced you to come to.”

“Oh, yeah that one. I love that the first party you made me go to was also a rave. Go big or go home, right?”

“Of course! Now, Doll, what are we doing tonight? We could watch a movie and eat some unhealthy snacks?”

“Uh, we can watch movies, but I don’t really want to eat anything,” you told him, flipping around on your bed and sitting on your legs. He tilted his head and a frown formed between his two perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

“Oh? But Lucifer told me you didn’t eat tonight, you must be hungry?”

“No, I’m not really,” you assured him, but your stomach decided to betray you in that exact moment almost as if it was saying ‘don’t lie to him I am hungry’.

He looked from your stomach to your face with an unamused look on his face.

“[Y/N], he also told me that he’s never seen you eat, that you don’t eat dinner here at all. You know you don’t have to lie to me, right?”

The honesty in his voice and the look in his eyes almost broke you.

“I know,” he looked concerned, but didn’t push you. You knew you would tell him about your disorder when you were ready, hopefully if he had any idea about your disorder, he knew that too.

The two of you decided to do an at-home spa day, and he took you to his room. The two of you did face masks, hair masks, mani-pedis, and other things like that.

You had chosen each other’s nail colors, and you had picked an orange color to match his eyes, and he picked pink, using a holographic color on your ring figures. You liked that enough you did that on his ring figured too so you both would be matching.

While you waited for your nails to dry and picked out toenail polish, he asked you about any crushes.

“Oh, no, Asmo, I don’t really have my eyes on anyone,” you lied as you looked through the shades of blue he had. His eyes immediately lit up.

“Yes! Yes you do, I knew it! Who is it?” He said excitedly, and you shook your head.

“I knew you wouldn’t believe that. I’m not going to tell you because it’ll never happen, trust me.”

“Doll, how could you say that? I’m sure a lot of people would love to date you, to be able to call you theirs!” You shook your head, scoffing at him.

“Not this guy. I’m pretty sure he had his eyes on someone else, anyway.”

“Is it Lucifer? It does seem like he has his eyes on Diavolo, but I don’t know about that one, Doll. You still might have a chance.”

“No! It’s not Lucifer, I don’t have that big of daddy issues.”

“Who is it? Please, tell me,” he begged, and for the first time you actually looked at him. His eyes showed almost.. sadness. He seemed sad to be thinking about you with someone else.

You just shook your head.

“Asmo,” you let out, leaning back and looking at him. “It’ll ruin this.” He frowned.

“[Y/N], what do you mean?”

“Asmo,” here it comes, you just decided to let it out. “I like you. I really, really like you. But I understand if it weirds you out, if I’m not your type, I-”

You were interrupted when Asmo held the back of your head and brought your lips to his. You melted into his, and he put his hands on your hips and pulled you onto his lap. You let out a yelp when he pulled on you a little too hard, your cuts opening.

“Doll, what’s wrong?” He asks, before looking down at where his hands were, one of his hands having a little spot of blood on them and the shorts being stained with a little amount of blood. “[Y/N], what’s this?” You let his lift your shirt and pull down your shorts slightly, and he let out a small gasp, his face dropping as he took in your figure, one significantly smaller than it had been when you first came, and the multiple cuts you had on you.

“I, it’s just stress. The tabloids, the comment sections of almost anything when I post pictures, it’s all just a lot.”

“Doll, you could have come to me. Here, let’s fix you up a little bit,” he soothed, picking you up and making you wrap your legs around him, carrying you to his bathroom and dressing your wounds. You didn’t say anything to him. “When’s the last time you ate or drank anything?”

“I drank some water earlier today,” you tell him, and he smiles slightly and strokes your hair. “Good job on that, Doll. But we need to get some food in your stomach, okay?”

Your heartbeat sped up, and you shook your head, tears coming.

“No, Asmo, I can’t eat. Please, don’t make me.”

“I’m not asking you to eat much, please, I can’t have my girl dying on me. What about a piece of fruit and some more water?”

You looked at the floor for a few seconds.

“Can we watch something while I eat, and cuddle, please? It’ll help me take my mind off of it, I think.” He nods, and you both walk to the kitchen after fixing your clothes.

Grabbing your food and water you make your way to your room and turn on [TV show or movie] as Asmo sat on the floor, pulling you into his lap, his chest pressed against your back. He kissed underneath your ear.

Once you had finished the food, which took a bit, but it’s still down for now, he praised you.

“Good girl, Doll. Now finish the water and he can cuddle more.”

You finish the water and turn to him.

“Thank you, Asmo. For helping me.”

“Of course, Doll. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

————

This was written by me in no way trying to romanticize mental illnesses. I try to write what I feel would help me in the moment. I completely understand that mental illnesses don’t just ‘disappear’ when you’ve figured out that someone loves you or someone helps you once- that’s why I don’t write what happens after in most cases. If you are struggling, please reach out to anyone you trust, or call a hotline.

#obey me #obeymeoneshots #obeyme #obey me oneshots #obey me imagines #obey me x reader #obeymexreader #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #shall we date #shall we date asmodeus #shall we date asmo #asmodeus #asmo #asmo x reader #asmodeus x reader #x reader

186 notes · View notes

romansleftshoulderpad · 6 years ago

Text

Oh No! (My Own Self Fulfilled Prophecy)

Words: 4,140

Warnings: Alcohol mention, crying, far of thunderstorms, mention of past relationship, death mention in the lyrics but not within the context of the story itself.

Tags: @fandermom

---

Don’t do love, don’t do friends, I’m only after success.

Roman had sworn off the idea of true love long ago. The idea that he had ever started to believe in it again was absolutely absurd and only a fool would have thought that Roman King could fall for such infantile ideologies. No, Roman didn’t believe in true love. Not for himself anyway.

He gingerly took a frameless photo out of his trash can and held it to the light. There was no love in the other man’s eyes. Roman tore the photo to shreds.

Don’t need a relationship.

I’ll never soften my grip.

He had an audition today. That was his focus. He took a deep breath and kept his eyes ahead of him. The soft spring air surrounded him and rustled through his hair and against his “lucky” denim jacket. He took a deep breath. He’d be okay.

As he pushed open the theater door, and the cold air pushed against his face, and he finally felt a sense of inner peace. He knew all his lines by heart. His audition song had been rehearsed to absolute perfection. He felt confident in himself for the first time in weeks. He felt the weight of the world fall off of his shoulders.

Don't want cash, don't want car

Want it fast, want it hard

Don't need money, don't need fame

I just want to make a change

So why did he suddenly feel so horrible?

I just want to change.

He was being overdramatic, surely. Logan would have told him it was cognitive distortions.

I just want to change.

Roman wasn’t so sure he would have agreed with that.

I just want to change.

Roman was pacing again. He couldn’t stand still. If he stood still than nothing could distract him from- That didn’t matter. He needed to know what he did wrong. Maybe he didn’t project the lines enough; maybe he projected them too much. Surely he was pitchy when he sang. Was he flat? Was he sharp? Was he both?

I just want to change.

Roman’s hand kept hovering over his phone. Sure he and Logan had never been best friends or anything, but, who else did he have? He had always made a big show of being independent but where did that get him? He clicked the power button on his phone one more time. He saw the time. 11:33pm. Nearly midnight. He put his phone in a desk drawer and locked it. Logan was probably asleep. Though, regardless, Roman knew the idea that Logan could- or would want to- help him at all was pathetic. He went to the kitchen to grab a beer. He was pathetic.

I just want to change.

“Roman, are you alright?” Logan asked as he handed the other a cup of coffee. Decaf, of course, Logan had always been a stickler about not consuming caffeine after sundown.

“I’m fine,” Roman said.

“Roman, please, don’t lie to me,” Logan pleaded as he rolled his eyes, “or yourself for that matter.”

“How did you-”

“Oh, please, Roman, I’ve known you for three years already,” Logan explained. His voice hinted at annoyance but the smile on his face was contradictory. “You never told me how you’re audition results went, but when I saw an advertisement in the paper for the play without your name in it, I put together the puzzle pieces myself. Your posture has been lacking and I haven’t heard from you in almost a week. You’re not fine; you’re upset.”

Roman looked back at him with a look of bewilderment. He put his coffee down on the table for fear that he might drop the cup. “Was it that obvious?”

“No,” Logan said, mirroring Roman as he placed his own cup next to the actor’s. “But I know what to look for with you, Roman.” He placed his hand gently on Roman’s arm as an act of solidarity. “This isn’t just about the play, is it?”

Roman’s eyes widened with fear but he couldn’t remove his mask of bravado. Not entirely, anyway. Not for anyone. Not for Logan.

He pulled away and laughed, using the best of his acting ability. All the world was a stage and Roman had to put on a show. “I haven’t the slightest idea what you are accusing me of, my spectacularly bespectacled friend.”

Logan picked up his coffee once more and hid his gaze of Roman from behind the cup as he took a swig. “Whatever you say, Roman.” They sat in silence for a moment. Outside the window winds were picking up and the sky faded from blue to grey. “We’re expecting a bad storm tonight.” Roman froze in his seat. How did he-? “Bad driving weather from what I heard. It’ll last a few hours so you may want to leave now if you plan on getting home before it hits.” A beat of silence and a sip of coffee. “Though, if you wish to stay I’m sure I can make accommodations for you.”

Roman was turned towards Logan, but his gaze was much further. He watched the grey clouds roll in until there was nothing left but a sky devoid of color or life. “Yeah,” he mumbled, never taking his eyes off of the window. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

One track mind, one track heart.

Roman woke up far earlier than he would have liked. Pale orange light swept across the living room floor as Roman tried to stretch out his back. “Ah I see that you’re up before noon,” Logan said from the kitchen. “How unexpected.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Nerd,” Roman said ever so affectionately. “Do you have the good stuff?”

“I have coffee, yes,” Logan said. Roman made grabby hands in the air like a child wishing to be picked up. “I still need to brew it, dumbass.”

”Ugh, that’s no fun,” Roman whined.

“Things can’t always be fun, Roman,” Logan said as he turned on the coffee maker. “I imagine you’ll be preparing for your next audition soon.”

Roman took a deep breath and tried to stomach the pang of sadness in his chest. The coffee machine mocked him as it revved up. Stupid machine so full of life and purpose. Roman wanted to punch it in its smug coffee maker face. “Yeah, totally.”

If I fail I’ll fall apart.

Roman spent the next two days mercilessly searching for auditions. Roman spent two nights fearing that sleep meant resignation.

Maybe it is all a test.

‘Cause I feel like I’m the worst,

so I always act like I’m the best.

When he finally got cast, Roman felt so happy he could fall over. Or maybe that was just the lack of proper sleep and over-caffeination. He called Logan the second he got in the car. Ringing... Ringing... Ringing...

No answer. That was okay though, Roman was sure Logan was busy, or perhaps he simply didn’t hear his phone ringing. Roman put his phone away and started to drive. The empty feeling in his stomach was meant only to signify that he was hungry, not that he was upset or disappointed that Logan didn’t answer. Certainly not that.

Roman drove off. He really needed coffee right about now. Or whiskey, whatever he found first.

If you are not very careful.

Your possessions will possess you.

He met a man that night, the two went dancing for a few hours, and now they were here. It always ended here. Roman slipped out of the other man’s bed and collected his clothes from where they were strewn about on the floor. He gave one final glance to the man who was left sleeping in the bed. His mouth hung open and he was drooling, but he looked so peaceful and serene. Roman grabbed the empty Starbucks cup off of the man’s bedside table and threw it in the trash on his way out.

He called Logan upon realizing that his car was still at the club parking lot. Friends were cheaper than taxis. “Ignoring my calls?” Logan asked with an amused chuckle.

“Oh shit, Lo, I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize you called,” Roman apologized. “I was, uh, preoccupied.”

“You were having sex.”

“You know me so well.”

Logan sighed into the phone and Roman just /knew/ that he was rolling his eyes. “You need a ride, don’t you?”

“Aww that’s so sweet of you to offer! Thank you, Logan.” The line went dead. In a matter of minutes, however, Roman was climbing into the passenger seat of Logan’s car. “Thank you, Lo, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Neither do I,” Logan chuckled. “You’re a reckless idiot who is utterly incapable of achieving pure independence.”

“You love me,” Roman teased. He expected Logan to scoff and roll his eyes or threaten to make Roman walk to his car. The reaction he got instead was, well, surprising to say the least.

“Maybe I don’t,” he mumbled under his breath, “maybe I do.”

TV. taught me how to feel,

Now real life has no appeal.

Months of rehearsals had lead him to this moment. Opening night. Roman didn’t think he could be any happier than he was in this moment. He stepped out on stage and gave this everything he had in him.

Everything was so terrifying and overwhelming in the best possible way and Roman didn’t think he could ever get off of his adrenaline high. His face was hot under what felt like pounds of makeup. The spotlight was blinding but the blurry silhouettes of the audience rose with astounding applause. Roman’s heart was beating against his chest as he took his final bow.

He was back in his dressing room, wiping off the last of his makeup and happy to just sit in normal clothes for a while when a knock echoed from his doorway. “Hi Logan,” he said softly, smiling at the man before him.

“I’ve never really been one for theatre, but,” he said, pulling a bouquet of yellow roses from behind his back, “seeing you up there was quite enjoyable.”

Roman stood and made his way towards Logan. His eyes were filled with admiration and glee upon seeing the flowers and he held them to his chest while gazing at Logan with a smile of gratitude and appreciation. “Thank you, Logan. So much.”

“Of course,” Logan said. “Giving flowers to award good performances is customary.”

“Just good?” Roman teases with a chuckle, moving to place the flowers into a vase on his makeup table.

“No,” Logan said under his breath. “Great.”

It has no appeal.

Logan had seen a performance every night that week. He didn’t always go backstage to see Roman or even mention he was there, but Roman always saw him. He was always so close and watching so intently.

One night Roman almost broke character when he saw Logan there. Logan, who had seen this show four times already and was in the middle of his fifth, was at the edge of his seat in the from row with his head resting on the palms of his hands. He made eye contact with Roman and gave a small smile, never once moving from his position of pure and intense focus on what was happening before him. He was so encapsulated in the show and Roman couldn’t remember how long it’s been since he’d seen Logan look so genuinely in love.

His dramatic pause was almost uncomfortably long as he tried to remember his line. His mind was drawing a blank. He looked back to Logan one more time. Logan mouthed the line to him and the show was able to continue. Though when he tried to thank him, Logan had completely disappeared.

It has no appeal.

Roman was more emotional at the end of the last show than he would have liked to be. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, quite the opposite. It was really bittersweet as he and the rest of the cast mingled with fans in the lobby.

“You did... you were... it was a good show, Roman,” Logan said. Roman spun on his heels to face the man behind him. “Congratulations.”

“Hey, Ro, you comin’ to the after party?” one of the actors asked, as they approached Roman’s side.

“Oh, I’m not sure if I’ll have time, but-“

“Seriously, Roman? When have you ever been one for time management?” Logan teased. “You should go. You love cast parties.”

Roman’s eyes fell to the ground as he fought against his own bravado. After his last show... The last production he was in.... he had.... He said...

Yet, Logan was there. Logan, fans, cast members, stagehands, everyone. He had grown to enjoy all of their company. This was different than the last time.

“I think I can make time,” Roman said with a smile that was almost forced, “on one condition.”

“And what would that be?” the actor asked with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.

“You have to come with me,” he said, turning to Logan.

“Me? W- Why? I’m not part of the cast, I hardly think that’d be appropri-“

“Oh, please, people bring dates all the time.”

“C’moooon, Logan!” Roman pleaded. “It’ll be fun.”

Logan’s eyes were analyzing the situation at hand while his cheeks were stuck in the present moment as they reflected his true feelings. “You are both quite certain that my being there will not be unwanted?”

“Yes, Specs, you’re coming with me and you’re going to enjoy yourself,” Roman said. He then leaned towards Logan to whisper in his ear, “It’s also needless to say you know these lines better than most of us do.”

Logan’s blush was something that Roman never realized he’d cherish as much as he did. He also never realized how much he’d grow to love yellow roses. There was a lot Roman didn’t realize that night, but for now he was confident he’d have a lot to learn.

The party wasn’t like the typical house parties that Logan was used to, but it wasn’t anything for him to immediately find a disliking to either. Nevertheless, he found the most comfort at Roman’s side.

“Hey, uh,” Roman said quietly as he faced the crowd of people. “Thanks for coming with me. You didn’t have to.” Logan glanced to Roman and curiously looked him over. His posture was pristine yet relaxed at the same time. His suit was formal but looked casual on him. His hair was wild and messy yet not a hair was out of place. He confused Logan greatly, yet everything about him made perfect sense.

“I’d have to disagree,” Logan said in a quiet chuckle. “You said yourself that my presence was the only thing that would get you here.”

Roman kept his eyes ahead, letting not even an inch of Logan into his gaze. He was getting emotional again. He had no idea what he would do if he had to face the man next to him. “I was just joking back there. I just mean that...” He sighed, letting his fists clenched and relax at his side ritualistically. “You didn’t have to come to the show- er- shows. You didn’t have to pick me up from another stupid one night stand. You didn’t need to let me stay at your house.” He raised his head to the ceiling and stiffened his posture. An act that Logan had recognized from him all too well. “You didn’t need to support me, but you did. I’ll never wrap my head around that.”

“It’s because I care about you, idiot,” Logan muttered uncharacteristically. He cleared his throat when he caught Roman staring at him. “We’re friends. Friends should support each other, even when a certain someone is being an idiot and needs a ride to his car for the millionth time.”

“I’ll try to remember next time.”

“Don’t bother. I enjoy that you owe me a million and five favors.”

Roman laughed and for once it didn’t feel forced or sarcastic. Logan hadn’t heard him laugh like that in nearly a year, and now that he was, Logan never wanted him to stop. He was determined to make Roman laugh again.

I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly.

Logan knew that every high had a comedown.

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die.

Roman was too busy laughing and dancing to notice the beating of rain against the roof of the ballroom. With a crack of thunder the lights had flickered in and out. The room was eerily silent for a moment, but in less than a second the lights were back to normal and regular conversation had resumed.

“Roman?” Logan asked softly. “Are you okay?”

Roman was too frozen to respond, once more refusing to meet eyes with Logan.

“Hey, hey listen,” Logan whispered. “I’m going to need you to look at me, okay? Your eyes look really teary, are you going to cry? It’s fine if you are.” He took Roman’s hands in his own and made sure that Roman was watching him. “Do you want to leave? Okay, that’s okay, let’s go. Do you want me to drop you off or do you want to go to my house?”

Logan reached up and wiped a tear off of Roman’s cheek. Roman’s gaze fell to his knees. “I’m going to need a response from you.”

Roman buried his pride as he tried to speak. He was mostly glad no one else had noticed, but he was somehow happy that Logan had. “Can we go to your place?”

“Of course, Roman.”

I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly.

I’m gonna fail, gonna

Die, die, die, die.

The storm was dying down by the time they were at Logan’s house, yet Roman was still a little shaken. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be,” Logan said, handing Roman a cup of tea. “Drink this, it’ll help relax you.”

“Thanks,” Roman said as he took the cup. The rain continued to drizzle outside and Roman hopes and prayed for it to clear up. He didn’t want to be alone, exactly, but he especially didn’t want Logan to see him so vulnerable. He was supposed to be strong and brave all the time. Without his bravery, who was he?

Logan took a seat next to him on the couch, lightly resting a hand on Roman’s forearm. “I know you aren’t a fan of storms,” Logan said. The rain picked up again, tossing itself harshly against the house’s windows to taunt and torment the actor.

“That’s putting it lightly,” Roman mumbled, unintending for Logan to hear.

“You should stay the night,” Logan said.

“If I keep staying the night, eventually I’ll just have to move in,” Roman said with a laugh.

“Good,” Logan said. “Then maybe you’d actually do some housework to repay all the time you’ve spent here.”

“Watch it, or I’ll actually start hoarding my things here.”

“Ah, yes, empty promises as always, Roman.”

Roman’s eyes and face fell at the sentiment. He couldn’t find it in himself to force a laugh. Rain poured harder and harder outside in perfect parallel to the tears that began to silently trail down his cheeks. He kept his face down and tucked by his chest. He couldn’t let Logan see him. Not like this. A roar of thunder shook Roman to his core and forced a small yelp to escape his throat.

“Roman, are you okay?” Logan asked softly. He pulled Roman against his chest and ran his fingers through the other’s hair. “It’s okay, Roman,” he whispered. “I’ll keep you safe.”

Roman continued to shake as more thunder roared. His sobs soaked at Logan’s shirt. He knew Logan could never see him the same way again, but he didn’t care. He was in Logan’s arms and fe felt safe. He didn’t know how long Logan had been running fingers through his hair before he was fast asleep in his best friend’s arms. Though, he’d have to wonder where the line of ‘Best Friend’ was drawn.

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be.

I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine.

Memories came pouring back to Roman when he woke up. Logan’s head was tilted to the side and his hair lay askew. He was peaceful, serene, and... gorgeous.

‘Oh fuck,’ Roman thought to himself as he snuggled closer to Logan’s torso, ‘I’m in love with my best friend.’ He stayed in the still silence for a moment, feeling the rise and fall of Logan’s chest as he listened for the drumming of his heart beat. Sunrise flooded slowly into the room. Roman wanted to cherish this moment forever.

When Logan woke up, he stretched himself out like a cat. Roman stayed clung to him and pretended to be asleep. “Good morning, Roman,” Logan said. “I know you’re awake. For an actor, you’re definitely a shit liar.”

“And for a cold and uncaring robot, you’re really warm,” Roman mumbled.

“Get up, you over glorified paperweight, I need coffee.”

“Fiiiine,” Roman whined, letting Logan go free. Well, not entirely free, as he followed Logan to the kitchen. “How, uh, how long was I asleep before, you uh, you know?”

“It’s hard to say,” Logan said slowly and carefully as he took two mugs from the cabinet. “You fell asleep pretty much exactly after you stopped crying.”

“Crying?” Roman whispered softly. “Oh, right, sorry.”

“It’s okay, Roman,” Logan said with a bit of a smile. He placed the mugs on the counter and let his hands fall against Roman’s face. He carded his fingers through Roman’s hair and the actor melted like snow in summer under Logan’s touch. Roman had sworn off falling in love, but now...

I’m now becoming my own self fulfilled prophecy.

Roman looked into Logan’s sleepy eyes and couldn’t help himself. He was falling and he was falling hard. “Do you have anything to do today?” Roman asked.

“Can’t say I do,” Logan replied, pushing back Roman’s hair before turning back to making coffee.

“Perfect,” Roman said. “We’re having a lazy day today.”

Logan rolled his eyes as coffee streamed into a clear pot. “You know I was kidding about you living here, right? You have your own house. Go have your own lazy day there.”

“But that’s no fun,” Roman whined, laying his head on Logan’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around the man’s waist. He was intoxicated by the way Logan’s heart rate picked up as he did so. “I wanna do something with you.”

“Fine,” Logan choked out.”

“Aww, Logan, are you getting flustered?”

“Do not think I won’t hesitate to make you go home.”

“You’d have to drive me.”

“You can walk.”

“Harsh.”

Logan shot Roman a glare that the latter couldn’t help but to laugh at. “This isn’t funny! This is intimidating! I am intimating!”

“Sure you are, Lo,” Roman teased. Logan’s crumpled shirt and tie matched with his unkempt hair was a wondrous sight in Roman’s eyes. He was just the same but totally different all in one.

“I’m serious! I wear a necktie!”

“This wrinkled, old thing?” Roman asked, pulling Logan forward with the tie wrapped around his fist. “You might want to try that argument on someone else,” he said in a shallow breath.

Logan couldn’t think of a response. His chest and hips were pressed against Roman’s. Their lips were centimeters about and every exhale danced in the infinitesimal space. He was too flustered to respond. He pressed up on his toes, closing the space little by little.

Oh. Oh no!

Roman moved one hand to the small of Logan’s back and the other to the back on his head. He held him gingerly, giving him enough space to push away or duck out. He never did.

Oh no!

Roman closed the gap, kissing Logan passionately but softly. He slipped his tongue into Logan’s mouth and failed to recall a time he had previously felt this much love and happiness towards someone. He wasn’t doing this to show off. He didn’t have any ulterior motive or plans other than casual cuddling.

They both relaxed into the kiss when Roman learned that Logan is good at kissing. Really good at kissing. Roman found it unbelievable that they hadn’t tried this before. He lifted Logan up to the counter, flustering the shorter of the two as he kissed faster and rougher.

They broke apart when Logan ran out of air. The dramatic rise and fall of his chest was lovely to Roman as they kept their foreheads pressed together. “Your morning breath is atrocious,” Logan whispered into a laugh.

“Maybe after coffee I should try again,” Roman teased.

“Why wait?”

Oh no!

#song fic #marina and the diamonds #logince #my logince liver #ts Roman #Sanders Sides Roman #Roman Sanders #Ts Logan #Sanders Sides Logan #Logan sanders #Sanders Sides Logince #Roman x Logan #2019 fic

506 notes · View notes

venus-says · 5 years ago

Text

Aikatsu Stars! Episodes 27-32

They let the best character of the cast go and I am SAD.

Another round of stars! This was supposed to be out yesterday, but I decided to have a life for once so I went out and didn’t have the time to watch/write everything I had to. In normal circumstances, I would say “I’m sorry”, but I was having the time of my life so I’m actually not sorry. XD

ANYWAY, to the episodes we go!

So episode 27 we follow Yume as she tries to find the type of S4 she wants to become. The episode was pretty good itself, but I feel like they regressed Yume for this episode? Because I thought she was already over this obsession of being like Hime and all, and now she’s back to it so... idk. Yume being back or not the episode was pretty good, and I like that now we know the lore behind why we’ve only seen the same four brands when by this time in the OG series we would already have at least one more brand introduced.

Next episode is a Halloween episode and I don’t really have much to talk about since not a lot happens. It was just the girls walking around trying to get candy. It was fun and all but nothing special. Though I love that Koharu was crowned the Halloween Princess because she deserves the world.

Now Episode 29 got me mad, got me really really mad. This episode got me mad because as I saw it the episode was basically saying, “you can train all you want, you never gonna beat THE CHOSEN ONES”. Rola was robbed once again and all because of this fucking power Yume has and saying to Rola go do different things so that she can stop losing to Yume and masking it as “iT’s YoUr InDiViDuAlItY” ain’t a good solution to the problem. I’m sorry but I ain’t buying this one.

After an episode that has got me SO MAD, we have an episode that got me VERY SAD. Episode 30 was Koharu’s departure and I’m still not okay that they had left the best character in this show go away. Given that this departure could cause some interesting conflicts for Yume which I would love to see. BUT, sadly Yume has a deadly power inside her so instead of making her drama be about dealing with Koharu leaving, no we gotta make her have to deal with this thing inside her that has no purpose of existing other than to make this show be edgier.

I’m sorry, but I can’t stress enough how much I hate this power Yume has and how frustrated I got when I saw that this episode that was supposed to be all about Koharu changed its focus to be centered on Yume stupid power because we can’t let any other character get the spotlight.

The last two episodes that wrap up this post are episodes focused on units! Yay! I was missing them.

In episode 31 we see SKY-GIRL forming while in 32 we see Yuzukoshou.

I loved episode 31, I'm still kinda iffy about why Tsubasa has chosen Yozora and Mahiru as partners, but they actually worked very well together and it was lovely to watch them. Seeing how they left so many things for Mahiru to decide also got me a little off, but I can see this as they trying to be good senpais and teach Mahiru some things so it’s not a huge problem.

Now episode 32 got me with mixed feelings? I know this episode was the one that was supposed to cheer Yume, but I don’t know it felt like it needed more time? Like, with SKY-GIRL formation we had time to see they bond and make us believe in them as a unit, but Yuzukoshow didn’t have that much time so I couldn’t really feel the strong connections forming to help Yume stand up again.

But I somehow like how things ended? Like, when I saw One Step would be the song for the audition I knew that whichever unit Yuzu was in it would come up on top, and I think that if Yuzukoshow had won it would feel very cheap and kinda go against the process of slowly building Yume again, but they didn’t win so I’m very happy. I do wish we could at least have seen at least a still PNG of the admins during their performance, but I’m pretty happy with the results regardless. though that scene at the end with the boys, completely unnecessary. The episode could’ve ended with Rola and her mother and it would have the same effect for the overall plot.

If the weather cooperates and I don’t have to delay my laundry we’ll have more six episodes of Stars today. Bye-bi~

#Aikatsu Stars!#aikatsu

7 notes · View notes

stuckinthekookiejar · 8 years ago

Text

My Star pt 1

Pt 1 || Pt 2 (final)

Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Summary: She was so wrong for him, and you knew it. If only Taehyung could realize it.

Word Count: 5,417

A loud pop resulted from you smacking your lips together trying to even out the layer of tinted gloss,

“Ooo, where are you going tonight?” Your roommate, Yeo Woon, gasped from her spot on the couch, “You’re going out on a date?”

“I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m not going out on a date. I’m going to hang out with Tae.”

Since you were examining your makeup one last time with your pocket mirror, you didn’t see the pout on Yeo Woon’s face but you could most certainly sense it, “Geez, Y/N...don’t tell me you still have a crush on him.”

“What! Me? A crush..on him?”

“Oh c’mon, Y/N-ah. Everyone who knows you on this goddamn planet knows you have a crush on Taehyung. Aside from him, of course.”

“I...I do not! And even if I did...I got over it...” Your cheeks flared with heat as you quickly shoved your mirror back in your purse,

“You’re all dressed up, you’ve been smiling all day, and you used one of my facial packs last night which is weird considering you always complain about the sliminess. So basically, you must still have a crush on him if you’re doing yourself up like this just to ‘go hang out’.”

"Oh, shut up. It’s just that we haven’t seen each other in months since he’s been on tour...and he’s leaving again next week so I thought I’d dress up a little...”

“Suuuuuure.” Yeo Woon threw you a smug look before you headed out the door.

The night air ran across your skin making your hairs stand on end. It may have been summer time, but the night time felt just as chilly as a normal autumn day.

You missed being able to walk through the wet markets and bustling shopping avenues during the day. You missed being able to play at the arcade and run through the amusement park riding ride after ride without being afraid of being spotted. But of course, when Taehyung entered a life under the spotlight everything changed. Now you two were confined to only late night outings, and even then Taehyung still had to be covered from head to toe in an attempt to not get recognized.

So here you were, sitting on a bench in the middle of a small park under the dim light of a street lamp waiting for him. Music leaked through your earbuds and into your ears as the wind brushed against you. Mentally, you cursed at yourself for wearing a short sleeved blouse and shorts without thinking about bringing a jacket.

Suddenly, some pressure pressed down on the top of your head and your hair was being roughly ruffled causing you to jump. Swiftly, you grabbed hold of the arm and twisted it around you and flipped the person from behind the bench over you so that the perpetrator now laid at your feet.

“Ow....what the hell Y/N...” Taehyung groaned, massaging his back with a pained look on his face.

“T-Taehyung!” He got to his feet and stumbled toward the bench to have a seat,

“When did you learn how to do that?”

“Well, you’re the one who told me to take self-defense classes.” Your mind flashed back to high school when Taehyung first became a trainee. He told you that he couldn’t be there to protect you as much anymore, not like you really needed any protection anyway...he was just overprotective, but he still told you to take up self-defense classes if you had the time.

“I didn’t think you actually would.” You had him bend a little forward so that his elbows rested on his knees so you could see the spot on his back where he had landed when you flipped him over. There was a small dark patch which you knew would turn all purple and black by tomorrow. Taehyung winced in pain as you rubbed gently on the bruise,

“Geez...I’m so sorry, Tae. Wait here, I’ll go buy some ice and...” As you got up to leave, he grabbed your wrist pulling you back onto the bench and pinched your cheek,

“Aigoo, you never change Y/N-ah, always so motherly, my little star.” You felt like your cheeks were going to flare up again, especially at the sound of your nickname he always called you, but before he could notice anything, Taehyung let go of your cheek and pulled you into a headlock,

“WHAT THE...KIM TAEHYUNG LET ME GO!” All you heard was his laughter,

“Nope! This is what you get for throwing me onto the ground!” He continued to maniacally chuckle as you struggled to get out of his grip. It was no use prying your way out and he was too strong for you to forcibly rip off his arms from around your neck, so you chose the only option available to you,

“YAH!” Taehyung screeched as he immediately let go of you, “DID YOU JUST BITE MY HAND?”

You jumped off the bench, stuck your tongue out at him, and ran away across the park’s field as fast as you could,

“Why you little...you’re gonna get pay back!” Taehyung darted after you, chasing you through the freshly cut grass.

Under the moonlight the two of you ran around as if you were back in elementary school playing a game of tag. During times like these, you wished that you could stop time and remain here forever. You wanted to return to the days when everything was so much more simpler...when paparazzi wasn’t always shoved in his face...when you didn’t have to pretend to not know him when out in public...when your feelings weren’t so complicated.

Eventually, Taehyung caught up to you, tackled you onto the soft grass, and attacked you with tickles to your sides.

“Okay! Okay! I get it!” After a little while, Taehyung finally gave in and rolled over to lay down next to you on the grass. Moments passed by in silence with only the sound of both of your deep huffs after running around like wild geese piercing the summer air. Another gust of wind charged through the air, sliced at your nerves and caused chills to race down your spine.

“Pabo...” A piece of clothing, Taehyung’s jean jacket, was tossed over your face, “Why’d you wear something so thin? Aaaah...I see...you were on a date earlier weren’t you?”

Praise the heavens that the jacket was over your face or else Taehyung would’ve seen how red your face had become, “W-Why is everyone so curious about my dating life lately.... And no! I was not on a date, for your information.”

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Yeah good, because it’d break my heart to hear that you went on a date without telling me!”

“Yah. Why would I have to tell you if I went on a date or not?”

“Because...I’m your best friend after all.” Boy, did that statement really sting, “So if you weren’t on a date, why’d you dress up so nicely?”

“Why? Is it illegal to want to actually look nice from time to time?”

“Hmmmm, I just figured that the only reason why you’d dress up was because you were trying to impress some guy.”

From under the jacket, you turned your head and peeked at him. His side profile was ethereal as the moonlight softly kissed its edges,

I am trying to impress some guy....

Taehyung turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow, “Speaking of dating...when are you gonna go find yourself a prince charming? You haven’t been in any relationship yet... You’re in college! It’s okay to date a little...I mean look at me! I’m super busy, but I have the time to date such an amazing person.”

‘Amazing person’ my ass

You took your hand and moved the jacket away from your face, but you still kept your gaze toward the star scattered sky, “That’s easy for you to say. You’re...you’re THE Kim Taehyung, super Hallyu mega star, super handsome and talented....me? I’m just plain old Y/N who still looks like prepubescent middle school Y/N.”

“Yah, Y/N look at me....Y/N-ah, c’mon, look at me...” When you refused to turn your head, he pinched your side causing you to spasm and stare into his eyes with the most menacing glare you could form. But he was still smiling. He won. He got you to look at him,

“You don’t look prepubescent Y/N....you look ‘predebut’.”

“Very funny, Tae.” You threw his jacket at him with as much force as you could, but of course he was capable enough to catch it before it hit his face,

“No, but seriously...don’t say things like about yourself Y/N. It makes me sad... You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, you know. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even be who I am today.” He wasn’t wrong. You were the one who pushed him to audition when the recruiters asked him to try...like, you literally pushed him. You pushed him into that room where auditions were being held because he was too nervous and shy to walk in himself. Who knew a small shove would lead him to an entire life of fame?

“Not only are you amazing, but...you’re beautiful too.” Heat pooled in your cheeks once again and in a panicked rush, you reached over and snatched his jacket and shoved your face in it, “What the...”

“I...I’m...I’m cold!”

“And that’s why you shouldn’t wear thin, fancy looking clothes to impress some date.”

“I WASN’T ON A DATE!”

“Suuuuuure.”

“Geez, you’re sounding more like Woonie everyday.”

“Psh, whatever.” Silence sat in the air as Taehyung laid back down on his back and gazed at the stars. You had slipped the jacket away from your face so that you could look at them with him. A tingling sensation sparked in your hand, the one next to Taehyung’s, and you had an urge to grab his. You wanted to hold him so bad...but you didn’t...you couldn’t....you felt like you never could.

Left and right, you passed by many idols as you walked down the bustling corridor. Any average person probably would have fainted by now after being surrounded by all the talent and beauty, but for you this was normal. You worked as a staff member for a well known music show and it was your job to schedule performances, keep track of them and to notify the idols when it was their turn to take the stage.

Today’s recording was just as hectic as every other recording with people dashing around, plenty of different managers talking with staff, background dancers loitering around in the hall...none of it fazed you though. In fact, through the job you made friends with many of the reoccurring faces of idols you saw every few months. However, there was a downside to all of this....and her name was An Miri as in A.Mi, the uber popular idol. Oh, and she happened to be Taehyung’s girlfriend as well.

You rounded one of the halls as you looked down at the schedule to see who was next up to perform, and it took everything within you to rip your hair out when you saw the name on the paper. You knocked several times on the dressing room door before you opened it,

“A.Mi-ssi, we need you on standby.”

There she was sitting in front of the vanity, her stylists making sure her makeup was perfect before she had to perform. She sat in her chair as if she were some queen, and everyone around her acted like her minions. All the staff doted on her and always made her feel comfortable. Always got her that water she politely asked for, or that towel to wipe her sweat away after a performance. She was always complimented on her good manners to the staff and other idols, both hoobaes and sunbaes. From anyone else’s point of view, she seemed like one of the nicest people in the work field.

But they didn’t know her true colors.

Miri stood up and thanked her stylist then made her way over to you, “Hello, Y/N-ssi. It seems we meet again.”

She eyed you as she bumped her shoulder against yours and started to head down the hall. You rolled your eyes and huffed before tailing behind her,

“Well, it’s not like we can avoid that, A.Mi-ssi.”

“I mean, I’m sure we could.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Come to the back exit after the recording. I need to speak with you. Privately.” Miri flipped her hair, making the strands collide with your face, before taking her place center stage. All her arrogant attitude was gone by the time she had walked on the platform and the crowd chanted her name. You wondered how people could buy such an unbelievable act.

Miri had always had some vex towards you. From the very first moment Taehyung introduced you to her, you could tell that her smile and polite attitude were totally fake. She always pulled the “friendly” card whenever Taehyung and boys or really anyone else was present, but when you two were alone...that was when the real Miri came out.

The heat of the concrete wall burned your skin ever so slightly, but it hurt like hell. You peered down at your wrist watch. It had been a good ten minutes since Miri told you to meet with her and you were sure that she’d be done by now. It was safe to say that you were getting increasingly impatient.

Just as you were going to head back inside, the heavy metal door swung open. Miri came walking out with a hand on her hip and annoyance in her eyes.

“You wanted to talk, Miri-ssi?

“How do you explain this?” Miri shoved some sort of photo in your face, but you couldn’t make it out since she held it so close to your face that your nose was touching it. Miri seemed to not make any effort in giving you a better view, so you snatched the photo yourself so that you could actually have a look at the damn thing.

As soon as your eyes adjusted, you could see that there wasn’t just one photo, there were several. One depicted Taehyung pinching your cheek on a bench. Another one showed the two of you running around a field. The last one captured the moment when he and you laid down in the grass as you gazed at the stars. All these photos...they were from the night that you last hung out with Taehyung a few days ago.

You were baffled though. You were so sure that there were no other people around that night. And even if some reporter did catch you and Taehyung together, it would have been all over the news by now...so why were these pictures with Miri? There would be no reason for her to have these unless...

“Where did you get these photos?”

“Who cares where I got the photos from? What really matters is the reason why YOU were with MY boyfriend!”

The heaviest groan left your lips, “Is this what you’re really pissing over? If you’re so curious, why don’t you ask him yourself?”

You turned to leave, but she grabbed hold of your arm, “Listen here, you little rat, take your filthy hands off my boyfriend or else.”

“Or else what?” you scoffed.

“Or else I’ll have these photos released.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

She was going to release the photos? You knew damn well that if those photos got released, even if all they captured was an innocent night out between two friends, Taehyung’s name would be burned down to the ground. And Miri, Taehyung’s so called “girlfriend” was willing to let that happen.

“Tell me, Miri-ssi, do you really love Taehyung? Or are you just using him for attention?”

“What? Me, using him? What kind of nonsense is that?”

“Stop the bullshit. Don’t you dare think that I can’t see straight through you. You know goddamn well what will happen if those photos are brought into the public’s eye...and you’re willing to do that? To Taehyung? You already have everyone’s attention as 'Korea’s ideal girl’ and as ‘BTS’ Kim Taehyung’s girlfriend’. What more do you need? Do you really need use Taehyung just to play victim? Just to get pity? Just to make some good publicity?”

She scoffed at you, “Hmph, think what you want, but I’m just protecting what’s mine.”

“If following your boyfriend around and threatening his friend to leave him alone with photos that could be used to against him is your definition of ‘protection’...that’s one shitty definition.” At that, you retreated back inside without giving her a second glance.

Namjoon passed you a cola, the only thing that was available in the Bangtan dorm’s refrigerator at the moment.

“Damn, Joon-oppa,” you managed to sneak a peek of the interior of the fridge before he shut it, “Six whole boxes of Sprite? Why?”

“Eh, Hobi likes Sprite better than the cider here, I guess, so he decided to buy some when we went to America.”

“But they sell Sprite in Korea don’t they?”

“Apparently he likes the ‘foreign’ taste.”

You shook your head and laughed as you popped open the small, cylindrical can. In a swift movement, you brought the metal to your lips and downed almost half of the fizzy drink in a few seconds.

“Woah, slow down there.” Namjoon pulled the can out of your hands, “No need to drink it that fast. Not like it’s beer.”

“I kinda wish it was though.” You rested your head against the cold surface of the kitchen counter and groaned. Namjoon walked over to you and leaned back on the counter beside you,

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked as patted your back.

When you and Namjoon first met, the two of you clicked. Not in a romantic sort of sense per say, but he was more like an older brother to you and you were a little sister to him. Aside from Taehyung, Namjoon was the other person who you’d vent all your problems to...especially when it came to topics that you couldn’t talk to Taehyung about...like Miri.

You repositioned yourself so that you leaned against the counter like Namjoon, “It has to do with...her.”

You nodded your head in the direction of the doorway that led to the dorm’s living space where Taehyung and Miri were cuddling on the couch. You had come over because Taehyung had invited you since it was one of the last nights before the boys had to head off to continue their tour abroad. Of course you agreed to coming to the small party...but you dreaded the fact that Miri was obviously also going to be in attendance.

When you arrived at the dorm earlier, Miri was already there and the two of them were doing all that mushy couple-y stuff. It made you cringe so hard that you retreated to the kitchen and that was why you were here now. In the kitchen. Sulking. Over Taehyung and his girlfriend.

“Y/N-ah, it always has to do...with her. What did she do now?”

Namjoon and the boys never actually had seen Miri’s true bitchiness in action, but they weren’t stupid. They could sense her fakeness after a few interactions...well...except for Taehyung. He seemed head over heels for the girl. This was his first ever real relationship after all. The poor boy was blinded by love and no matter how many times you or the boys tried to talk to him about Miri possibly just using him to get extra fame, he’d instantly become defensive of her.

This strained your friendship with him. You’ve had plenty of fights with him over his girlfriend, but Taehyung just wouldn’t have it. Just a few months ago, before his tour began, you and Taehyung got into another argument over Miri.

Since you worked as a staffer on a music show, you were at the broadcasting company to hand in the finalized schedule of the performances happening that week. Miri had also been at the company due to some variety show she was filming. While on break you happened to overhear her complaining to her stylist about how much Gucci Taehyung owned, yet he hadn’t bought her anything Gucci related yet. It was like she was expecting him to get her all that materialistic shit just because she was his girlfriend.

This, of course, pissed you off and so you went to Taehyung to tell him the utter truth about Miri’s character. You thought you were doing him a favor. You thought that you’d help stop him from wasting his precious time with someone like Miri. But no. Taehyung absolutely snapped when you started to tell him the truth. He told you to stop talking bad about Miri. He straight up yelled at you, which was most certainly uncalled for since you didn’t explicitly curse Miri out (although you did want to call her a “materialistic, fake ass bitch”).

Because of that argument, you and Taehyung didn’t talk for the first couple of months while he was gone. No messages. No calls. Nothing. Taehyung was the kind of friend who’d always message you constantly, and you felt broken without even receiving just a single dot from him. And you guessed that he felt the same because after some time he did message you and apologized for yelling at you the way you did. You also apologized (even though you didn’t really do anything wrong) and you two made up and he promised to hang out with you as soon as he got back to Korea.

And so you did hang out as soon as he got back to Korea.... and of course, Miri had someone snoop around and follow Taehyung and take pictures of you two even though you were just hanging out as friends. And this led you to here, spilling your problems to Namjoon once again because you knew that Taehyung would have none of it.

After explaining the entire situation of the photographs and Miri threatening to release them at the expense of Taehyung’s name, Namjoon brought a hand to his temple and shut his eyes. You guessed that this and Miri also gave him a migraine,

“Dammit...” Namjoon groaned, “Why don’t you tell him? Maybe then he’ll confront her about the photos she has.”

“Tsk, right.... like Taehyung’s ever gonna listen to me about Miri. That boy is too blinded to ever accept anything I say about her. Even if I bring up anything about Miri, Taehyung will get all defensive and close himself off to me... He just won’t listen.”

“How do you feel about this whole thing?”

“I feel like it’s wrong. She shouldn’t use him like that... Who does she think she is doing this to...”

“No, I didn’t mean to ask about your opinion on her. I meant...how do you feel?”

“Me?” You looked down at you feet and thought about it before speaking, “I feel...helpless...I guess....”

“And why is that?”

“Because I want only the best for Taehyung. He deserves so much more than...her.... and I want him to see that she isn’t good for him. But he won’t listen to me anymore....”

Namjoon nodded as he listened to you, occasionally taking sips from his own can of soda, “So you’re just going to give up then?”

“Huh?”

“You said he won’t listen to you...so does that mean you’re going to stop talking to him?”

“What! No...that’s not what I meant...”

“Well, it sure does sound like you’re at the verge of giving up.”

“I don’t want to...I want him to see the truth...I really do, but...but I don’t know how.”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing. Talk to him.”

“But I’m scared that if I keep pushing him...I’ll eventually push him away...forever. I’m scared of losing him, oppa.”

“You won’t ever lose him. You’re a precious person to him, Y/N. If he lost you, he’d probably lose all function.”

“Ha, don’t be so over dramatic.”

“I’m not! You should’ve seen him after you two argued before tour began. We had to drag him out of the hotel for rehearsal and the concert. He didn’t even want to go sight seeing. He just stayed in the hotel all day sulking as he looked at his phone. Jimin had to comfort him and luckily he convinced him to message you after a while. Even if you two have patches down the road, that’s normal. Even we argue amongst ourselves at times, but our group is still together. We got over the issues and we made up. That’s what healthy relationships entail, so just talk to him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Consistency will eventually garner results, trust me.”

“Oppa, we aren’t talking about music you know.”

“I know.” He shrugged before he headed off toward the living room. You hated when he did that: giving you his advice then walking away as if it were some dramatic scene in a movie.

After a few minutes thinking to yourself, you finally mustered up the courage to go to the living room and speak to Taehyung. He was going to leave again soon, and this time he’d be gone for even longer than just a couple of months. You wanted to get this issue out the way before he left.

When you walked into the living area, Namjoon managed to snatch away Miri’s attention leaving Taehyung alone on the couch flipping through some of the channels on the television.

“Hey, Tae.” You plopped down next to him.

“Y/N! There’s my little star, I was wondering where you were. I see Yeo Woon couldn’t make it.”

“Yeah, she had work so...”

“Oh, okay. There isn’t anything good to watch on TV, but I did find this cool anime the other day. Do you wanna...”

“Um, actually Tae...” you interrupted, “I was hoping I could have a word wit you...privately.”

Taehyung put the remote down on the couch and nodded, “Sure. I’ve been wanting some fresh air anyway.”

The sky was streaked with orange and the warm evening breeze brushed against your skin. Luckily, along with the dorms came with a private rooftop which allowed for a place to have a nice private conversation without being bothered.

The two of you stood near the edge of the roof near the guardrails and peered out at the view of city rooftops and the slowly darkening sky before you,

“Ah, it’s so nice isn’t it, Y/N-ah? The sunset reminds me of our high school days when you’d make me sneak up to the school roof at night to go star gazing. I never really got the fun in it, but I do have to admit that the view was beautiful.”

You hummed in agreement, eyes trained to the floor not even looking at the sky like Taehyung was.

“So, what did you wanna talk about?”

“It’s about Miri-ssi.”

“Y/N...” Just as you predicted, Taehyung’s demeanor completely changed. He went from relaxed to stern in an instant.

“Just hear me out, Taehyung...please.” A few moments of silence went by before you continued, “Has Miri-ssi...has she asked you about that night when the two of us hung out?”

“Mm...yeah, she did. How’d you know?”

“She asked you? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you say?”

“I just said that there wasn’t anything to worry about. I explained that you’re my best friend, that’s all.”

“Oh...okay... Uh, Taehyung?”

“Hm?” You turned to him. He was still looking out in the distance and no trace of that once jubilee personality could be sensed from him,

“Have you ever thought about why Miri is with you?”

“She’s with me because she loves me, Y/N.”

“Do you really believe that? Taehyung...I’ve known you since middle school. I know you’re not this stupid and blind. Can’t you see that Miri isn’t the person she appears to be? She’s not good for you.”

Taehyung lowered his gaze. His fringe covered his eyes, the grip he had on the railing tightened. After years of knowing him, you didn’t even need any sort of physical indication to tell that he was pissed off.

A gust of wind struck your figures and blew Taehyung’s bangs out of the way of his eyes. You could tell that he really was angry,

“What is it do you and the rest of the boys seem to have against Miri? All the other guys have been pestering me about her too! Why do you guys hate her so much?!”

A small migraine started to form in the back of your head, “Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve been with her for eight months now...how could not see who she really is? She’s a materialistic, controlling bitch who’s only using you for fame and fortune!”

“You think that I don’t know that?” His tone somehow got deeper that it already was,

“What?”

“You really think that I don’t see the kind of person Miri is? I know she wants me to buy things for her. I know she wants me to take her out on dates so she can brag to her friends or gain more media coverage. Trust me, I know. You’re right about me not being stupid and blind, Y/N.”

“What the hell...if you knew all of that already, then why the fuck are you still with her?”

He sighed as be pushed himself away from the railing and turned around to lean back on the metal fence,

“Because I want to help Miri.”

You didn’t even have to ask to know what he meant. For some odd reason, Taehyung had always been capable in changing people for the better and most of the time all it took was to just interact with them and talk to them. He changed you too.

In middle school you were always picked on. You were the quietest kid in the class, the easiest to mess with...the easiest to get pushed around. And you let the kids do that to you until you met Taehyung. He was the one who taught you how to stick up for yourself...well...he told you to punch your bullies in the face, but at least that worked. Your bullies backed off and that sense of triumph changed you. Taehyung changed you. He could change almost anyone...emphasis on ‘almost’.

“Tae, you can’t help everyone you meet. Some people don’t change whether you like it or not.”

“If you’d just give her a chance, Y/N, then you’d see that Miri isn’t as bad as you think she is.”

“Did you know that she had us followed?” He turned to you with an unreadable expression. Had you finally caught his attention?

“Miri came to me today and you know what she showed me? She had photos of us when we were hanging out. She’s spying on you!”

“No...that can’t be.” You heaved feeling stupid for actually believing that he’d listen to you for once, “Paparazzi follow me around all the time, Y/N. It must have been one of them.”

“But why would she have those photos? I doubt that the press would’ve just given them to her without making an even bigger fuss. Plus I thought you said that no one would have found us at that park. Miri obviously paid someone to follow you around!”

You were so desperate. You wanted him to believe you. You wanted only the best for him and Miri wasn’t the best for him.

Taehyung took a few moments of silence nodding his head trying to figure things out,

“How do I know you aren’t lying?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re right. Nobody knows about that park we went to aside from the two of us. If those so called photos actually do exist, the only real suspect is either you or me. And I’m pretty sure I didn’t pay anyone to follow us around.”

You shook your head as you scoffed, “Are you really accusing me of lying?”

He just shrugged as he looked up to the sky. Disbelief painted your face.

“Wow, Taehyung...just wow. I didn’t know you could be such a complete ignorant ass. I guess people do change.”

Taehyung only heard your footsteps as you retreated back down the stairs. He tried so hard to hold them back, but the tears he felt coming trickling down his cheeks.

The sky grew into a bluish black, but it was dark. Too dark. It seemed like the stars weren’t shining tonight.

Gif not mine creds to owner

501 notes · View notes

spockandawe · 8 years ago

Note

I am torn between Starscream and Rodimus and Starscream and Bumblebee for the symbol ask, so chose the one that appeals the most.

OH HO HO. Both. Both is the answer. Let’s do this.

Starscream/Rodimus

In a versus fight, I think.... Starscream takes the day. Just because he is so dang good at fighting for his life and scrabbling for survival. Rodimus is good, but Starscream is just next-level survival skills. It’s hard to beat him.

And in a favorites fight, ahhhh. I feel bad, because I love Rodimus. But Starscream definitely wins. Both my pretty boys, they have some parallel issues re: leadership, that tie back in pretty heavily to Megatron and Optimus Prime. Megatron was more cruel and aggressively talked down to Starscream about how worthless he was, and Optimus (probably not intentionally) strung Rodimus along with scraps of attention when Rodimus was pretty desperate for his approval, fails to acknowledge the good things Rodimus has done, brushes him off when Rodimus tries to talk to him, and sweeps him aside when something serious is happening and we need a real leader, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. And they both want so badly to lead. Rodimus hurts, but Starscream has been actively, viciously hurt, and has clawed his way up from an awful position to where he is today. He’s just been through so much, with so little support, and even though he’s an ass, he really does want to be a good leader. How could I not love him?

Shipping, oooooooooh. So those parallel issues up above. Those things. And depending how much they know about each other, it’s a real great point to connect on. Not actively, because Rodimus is like hahaha sad feelings what? And Starscream is the same thing, but with less of a laughing mask. But they’re each so hungry for approval and respect that I think they’d be able to recognize that in each other. And it’s a thing they can hardly talk about, maybe with brain ghost bumblebee, who you think isn’t real, or maybe little moments with minimus ambus, or trying to reach out to optimus before he brushes you off. But if they can recognize it, and recognize parallels, this is a huge weight on each of their shoulders, and just knowing someone understands is such an important thing.

Plus on an outwardly more frivolous level, these are two people that I really, really, really think need to be vocally appreciated. In bed. Maybe not in bed, but sexual settings are a nice natural place to bring that kind of thing up, where it might feel forced out of the blue, especially with two emotionally constipated dorks. Rodimus is.... liked. But everyone around him is under his authority, he’s aware of the times that he, personally, has failed them. Especially right now, with a mutiny happening specifically because of his leadership. Starscream is.... technically liked, if he won the election. But he’s really not very liked at all. Even if it’s not deeper praise like ‘I think it’s really wonderful that you’re working hard to prioritize the protection and survival of all your citizens, not just making sure that you personally have a way out,’ having someone appreciate you on ANY level can be such an important thing.

Starscream/Bumblebee

Oooooh, these two. In a versus fight, Starscream. Again, Bumblebee is good, but Starscream is just something else.

And again, in terms of favorites, it’s still Starscream :P I like Bumblebee in a similar way to how I don’t-exactly-like Optimus. I couldn’t connect with his character at all for a while in phase two, the snark was nice, but he just seemed worn out and exhausted, and it was kind of exhausting to read. But when I went back to phase one and saw him not-volunteering to be the leader, being chosen as leader anyways, and IMMEDIATELY getting slammed with all these problems where there isn’t a good solution and everyone is pressuring him for one and it’s impossible to make everyone happy and that’s when people are even respecting his authority to begin with-- I feel really bad for him. With Optimus, we mostly only see him already exhausted. With Bumblebee, we see him being worn down. In early phase one and the brain ghost scenes, we can see him being bustling and bossy, really good with people on a personal level, genuinely concerned and friendly and helpful. And when he’s a leader, we see him stretched way too thin trying to take care of all these things that are his responsibility, he has to deal with it, even if it makes him miserable. Bumblebee is chronically incapable of saying no when it’s framed like ‘but we’re depending on you!’So I love him a lot. But... Starscream :P I’ve talked enough about him here and in previous asks, but it is really, really hard to beat Starscream.

AND SHIPPING OuO Ohhhhh, this ship. Once the brain ghost scenes started happening, I was a lost cause. Bumblebee has seen Starscream at his absolute most vulnerable. Maybe apart from when Starscream tried to reach out to Megatron in spotlight: megatron (and was immediately repaid with a fist in the face), this is the most open he’s ever let himself be. With Wheeljack, his emotions and happiness pop through for a moment, and even though some of that still shows through, he pulls himself back under control fast. And even in depression, you can get some really nice highs that lift you up for a moment... before you’re dragged back down into the pit.

Bumblebee has seen the pit. He’s been able to freely hate Starscream for millions of years, and now he’s getting a better view than anyone else at the depth of unhappiness and despair that Starscream is hiding so carefully from the rest of the world. He’s seeing what Starscream drags himself out of every day just to put on a functional face for the rest of the world. He’s seeing Starscream be self-serving, sure, but also genuinely pouring so much work into trying to be a decent leader for the planet. Starscream has been open with him in a way that he hasn’t been open with anyone else. It’s only because he thinks Bumblebee isn’t real, and that he’s losing his mind on top of everything else, but it would take one hell of a set of circumstances to get him to be open like this at all, and he’s only barely holding himself together as it is (all the more reason to hide it! can’t have people knowing about that), but he’s still sharing his honest, bitter, despairing thoughts. And Bumblebee is watching him push past that, every day, trying to do his best by the planet.

Let Bumblebee connect to him on that personal level that he’s so good at. Starscream is dreadful at people, but he’s good at calculating. Let him direct the planet, make the necessary, sometimes-cold calls, let him make the hard decisions because all the options are bad, what is least bad and most likely to get us the results we need. Bumblebee would hate that. He’d hate knowing that he was sending people off to die, that it was his decision driving them forward. But he’d also have emotional support while this was happening. He has friends. He’s well-liked. Starscream has none of that. He is incredibly alone. Let Bumblebee reach out to him, in a setting where Starscream can’t refuse to listen because Bumblebee is just a hallucination telling him the things he wants to hear, none of this is real, hahahahaha.

But Bumblebee has that in to Starscream’s thoughts and feelings that Starscream wouldn’t have given anyone voluntarily. Bumblebee has been able to freely hate him for ages as one of the leaders of The Bad Guys, and now he sees Starscream as a person. If Tailgate is someone who’s a pretty undirected force of innocently-thinking-the-best-of-people-and-wanting-to-be-friends, Bumblebee is a directed force. He’s got a better grasp of realism and limits than Tailgate, but he’s also able to aim those skills better and reach out to people more meaningfully and directly. Starscream doesn’t trust him? Okay, that’s fine, Bumblebee understands where he’s coming from. But you know, you can talk to me if you need to. And Bumblebee has a better idea than anyone else of what Starscream’s emotional needs are right now.

Annnnd I realize I’ve mostly talked about this in a single direction :P But once Bumblebee does managed to drill through Starscream’s defensive exterior and Starscream begins to maybe possibly tentatively sort of trust him, like... we see how happy he gets with Wheeljack and the way he just shines. And that’s just after Wheeljack saying ‘I trust you and think you deserve a chance.’ So imagine how Starscream would react to a genuine, mutual, tested-by-time connection. So, kind of like Pharma where like-- i enjoy seeing how selfishness in the moment is reflected in a character as circumstances expand. I wrote Pharma as being devoted and intensely protective of someone who is his person. Once Starscream decides you’re his person, then all that self-preservation, all those planning and fallbacks and watching for threats and protection, at all costs, that expands to cover you. It’s an... aggressive kind of devotion, in some ways. There’s a level of adoration that comes across directly, but you can really see the depth of feeling in those indirect ways. I want that, so badly. I want Starscream to have a person who he wants to protect. I want his world to expand to something past him, and at this point, he’s been burned so, so many times he’ll struggle to reach out on his own. I want that determined understanding and affection that wears down his defenses until he feels like it might be safe enough to open up and care.

#harutemu #starscream #rodimus #bumblebee #starscream x bumblebee #bumblebee x starscream #rodimus x starscream #starscream x rodimus #transformers #mtmte #exrid #taao #maccadam #ask meme #lost post

46 notes · View notes