#i feel so so so bad and i reached out to her i just wish i could have known who she was earlier
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so i absolutely love the best friend james potter fic where he warms his hands between the reader’s thighs and the idea of him having really bad circulation just makes sense to me, so can we get a technically kinda part two but instead of between the readers thighs it’s that portion of underboob that just heats up so much for no reason whatsoever? 🙇🙇🙇
Sirius's canine form requires him to get at least twelve hours of outdoor time per week, but during the winter months it becomes a chore delegated to the least lucky of the group: take Padfoot for a walk.
"Please, Jamie?" You'd leveled James with puppy eyes that rivalled Sirius himself, and now two sets of footprints lay in the snow beside pawprints that wind around them in happy trails.
"It's bloody cold out here." James comments, like your own nose isn't burning from the temperature, "Sirius, can't you piss on trees faster?"
Padfoot, who greatly resents the tree-pissing stereotype, takes a snapping lunge at James's ankles that sends him careening into you from your left.
"James!" You shriek as your feet and his knock clumsily together, all four united in trying to stabilize you. His arm wraps around your waist and he finds his footing first, which means that you're supported by his grip as you find your own. You find yourself inches away from his face, his nose stained red akin to his cheeks as you both laugh at how you've ended up pinned to a tree in the forest. Sirius barks at you, sounding suspiciously giddy, and James drags his hands off of your back, trailing them over your stomach as he goes.
"Gonna put a muzzle on you for that one, mutt." James threatens Sirius, who dashes off to find a stick or lick a toad or whatever else his dog brain fancies at the moment. You're left trailing beside James once again, wishing that you had your own stick to drag through the snow.
"You were really warm," James reminisces, his hands surely going numb, "Like- your stomach?"
"It's my boobs," You snicker, "No matter how cold a girl gets, the space beneath her tits will always be warm."
"Really?" James peers curiously at you, "That's cool. It's like a life hack."
"Right. It's-" You stick a hand guilelessly beneath your shirt, nestling it beneath the curve of your bra, "It's not, like, sweaty or anything. Just warm."
"Fascinating." James pushes his glasses up his nose with a single outstretched finger, "Wish I had some of those."
"You can borrow mine," You concede, taking James's hand in your own and sliding it up your stomach until his hand is leeching off of the same warmth you'd felt only seconds prior, "Feel it?"
His jaw drops, one of his unruly curls bouncing stubbornly in front of his face.
"Darling, you weren't kidding! It's like an oven in here." He hums, his other hand greedily reaching for the excess space beneath your chest, "Oh my god, if I had this I'd never stop touching it."
When Padfoot returns it's to James pressing you against another tree, hands pressed firmly to the space beneath your tits. He charges for James determinedly, latching his teeth around the man's elbow and pulling with all of his might to separate his friend from you.
"Pads- ouch! She's- relax, Fido, she's let me. I'm warming my hands, thank you very much."
James manages to pry Padfoot's maw off of him, hissing at the skin surely bruised beneath his thick wool coat.
"It's alright, Sirius." You rub sweetly between the dog's ears, "His hands were cold, that's all. Don't want to bring him back to the castle with less than ten fingers."
Sirius's resulting growl towards James sounds suspiciously like he's going to lose fingers anyways, whether it be from frostbite or a dog's bite.
#james potter x reader#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter oneshot#james potter one shot#james potter one-shot#james potter headcanon#james potter headcanons#james potter hc#james potter hcs#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter blurb#james potter drabble#james potter dialogue#james potter fluff#james potter x reader fanfiction
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i dont know if my opinion matters but im tme and arcane looked dumb as shit to me (plus i dont care abt league lmao) and learning that it's transmisogynistic and ableist and still seeing people on my dash talk abt it feels so weird to me. nobody on my dash is pointing out the transmisogyny except you !! this shit's dire
well, to be honest, the reason nobody’s pointing it out is because the really REALLY transmisogynistic part is a small scene in the first episode. the transfem character who gets such little air time you don’t even hear her name is a different problem (the fact that transfeminine representation is always just one off characters for a couple of scenes). like the truth is, Arcane isn’t any more or less transmisogynistic than anything else you like, and i doubt people are discussing those other things being transmisogynistic either. the problem is that nobody cares and everybody says we’re just reaching or looking to be offended when we point it out. i’m not asking people to stop watching Arcane or stop talking about it — i wish they would, but mostly because it’s really bad and being praised as the next greatest thing because it has brooklyn 99-style politics with a Nimona-style animation.
nobody is talking about it because nobody ever talks about it. instead of guilting people for liking shows with transmisogynistic stuff in (which is literally inevitable, i promise your favorite stuff is transmisogynistic too) you should be aware of it and point it out when you see it in other stuff too — don’t make this about Arcane!!! it’s about fandom in general!
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GOSHHH!!
I'm on my knees reading your stuff, you're soooo good. I finally found someone who writes Ivy in a delightful way.
Could you please write some Ivy down bad for reader when they meet in the waiting room after both of them lost their flight. It's freezing outside and they shared a cup of coffe. Something cute and a little smut, maybe?
Thank you honey :))
Thank you, darling! Means so much. 🤍✨
Missed flights
You knew you should have left yourself more time. New airports were always so much more confusing and now with only minutes to spare you were running to the gates as fast as you could. Trying to not run into anyone. “Final call to flight DF1465 all passengers please get to the gate immediately”. You cursed beneath your breath, skimming your eyes over the digital display. Before breaking into a run once more.
Slamming into someone’s side, losing your balance but not having enough time to spare. “I need to get on”, the man in front of you hands his ticket to the lady only to be met with a sharp shake of the head. “Gates are closed”. You step to the side of him, “Come on now, you just made the last call”, you frown. “Nothing can be done miss”, she shrugged, looking down at her computer.
“Well if you stopped bitching we would have already been on the flight”, the male grunted. “Is there a way to get on another plane now or anything?”, you asked, pleading, “I need to be on that plane”, “Well as all have wishes, no flight till Friday”, she clapped back. “Watch your tone”, the guy pointed at her right as she turned to leave, closing the gates.
You let your bag fall, just watching her go, already thinking of all the changes you would have to make. “Hey, sorry I bumped into you pretty hard beforehand”, the same guy gently reached out. You blinked looking at his blue eyes, “Yeah… don’t remember”, you chuckled softly. “Don’t tell me that I gave you a concussion?”, he frowned slightly shaking his head. “No, don’t worry”, you reassured him. “Well, this fucking sucks”, he grunted, running a hand over his face. “Also in a rush to get back?”, you looked at him sympathetically. “Oh, you can’t even imagine”, he sighed, “Ivy”. “My pleasure, YN”, you shook his head, “we can always try the front desk”, you motioned behind you.
That’s where you two spent the remaining 4h trying and fighting and arguing with every single person who came forward. Nothing. No one could give you any information and the closest flight was in 24h. “Let’s just go”, you pulled at his hand, feeling the exhaustion slowly settling in. Ivy shot the lady one more angry look before turning to you. “When was the last time you ate?”, he asked picking up his bag, before reaching for yours, muttering a quiet “let me”, before he took it from your hands. “Don’t remember”, you shrugged, “Well, we are eating then”, Ivy motioned for you to walk forward before following behind.
The little cafe you two found outside the airport was nearly empty, giving you both a much-needed rest and a space to talk. “We can book this?”, you turned your phone to Ivy showing him the room you had managed to find. “Not scared I’m a sociopath or anything?”, he chuckled taking a sip of his beer. You tilted your head to the side, “You don’t give me scary vibes”, you shrugged, “and if you do kidnap me at least you’re handsome”, “You think I’m handsome?”,’ a shit-eating grip spread across his face. “I’m sure that you know that you are”, you chuckled, “Oh, I do”, Ivy nodded, making you throw your head up as you laughed, “Humble much?”.
Ivy reached out, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, thumb brushing your cheek, “You’re really pretty”, your cheeks instantly grew pink as you batted his hand away. “You’re just saying that so that we would be in the same room”, you rolled your eyes. “Absolutely, but mostly because you’re really pretty”, Ivy mused, clinking your beers together. Eyes fully focused on you.
#sleep token x reader#sleep token imagine#sleep token x you#sleep token fanfiction#sleep token iv imagine#sleep token iv x reader#sleep token iv x you
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The same goes for anya x curly too it may seem cute, but curly was essentially a boy mom with Jimmy as the "boy." Honestly, I think at most anya and curly could be tentatively reconciled friends post fix-it ending or whatever which would take a lot of work on curly's part and giving a lot of forgiveness (If shes willing ofc) on anya's part.
obviously, do what you want i could literally not care less what yall do i just wish fandoms were less shipping-oriented sometimes :/
weird accidental character analysis/rant below
Look, I too, am not immune to the 'oh, curly's kinda cute' thing people have going on. I get it, but I don't want to be blinded by it.
I think people forget that pre-crash curly was a miserable and incompetent guy who stuck around and kept jimmy around for a reason, (while yeah the birthday scene made it clear that he's a nice enough person that pre-crash crew generally had a good opinion of him and he may seem better when side by side with someone like jimmy but that man is nowhere near the picture of a "well-rounded man)
The reason doesn't have to be deliberate or anything like that, it could be that Curly silently never grew out of the dismissal of SA/the female experience mentality which allowed someone like Jimmy to be his close friend for so long. or, in his own words he preferred looking at the bigger picture but because he was so focused on Jimmy's wellbeing (y'know immediately rushing to fucking Jimmy to assure him that everything was going to be okay after ANYA confessed to being pregnant and said that she fears jimmy enough to hide a gun from him that if it were not for the fact that curly would not allow it she would have used to the gun to protect herself. in that scene, it clearly shows that Curly prioritized Jimmy's well-being but also his feelings over Anya's even if if he didn't realize it. to Curly Jimmy was the bigger picture.
Jimmy is clearly not above abusing people he considers his "friends" especially someone who was catering to him to that degree, i.e the birthday cake scene ("both" of them) and the multiple medicine-taking scenes, etc so over the years of knowing jimmy, Curly could have subconsciously internalized Jimmy's sexist way of thinking, as to not create conflict (which is not an excuse) plus someone who may not be happy might cling to the people and disregard red flags in fear of isolation/losing something they consider positive (still not an excuse).
I don't think Curly didn't care for Anya or the rest of the crew, for that matter, but because he focused on catering to Jimmy, he hurt the people Jimmy hurt.
I like to think that Anya and Curly were very similar early days post-crash not just in the "victim to the same piece of shit" kind of way but that they both had the "thinking the best of bad people out of a sense of self-preservation". One of Anya's iconic phrases "Our worst moments don't make us monsters", I like to think that's in character for Curly to adopt that phrase as well for jimmy out of some hopeful delusion and or lasting affection for Jimmy (plus he was definitely delirious and in pain 24/7 mans not going to thinking clearly), especially since Anya and Curly were often together post-crash. but when Anya reaches her breaking point and ends her life it's Curly's breaking point too because it finally fully clicked how horrible Jimmy really was, as a co-worker, friend, and person. and that's why when Jimmy unlocked the gun case, we got the chilling, sardonic, and scorful laugh.
Ya'll have got to stop shipping Curly with Jimmy. That man is a rapist. He doesn't deserve the Yaoi fantasies.
#mouthwashing#anti jimmy mouthwashing#putting that tag there because tumblr keeps giving me pro jimmy posts and it's driving me nuts and I'm already at wits end with this fandom
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#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this 🧨#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
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...
#its seems we really may be at the end of vanity#i missed a call from my dad and thought we might be in a connors birthday situation but no. not yet#he did say that it feels like this is it bc my mom's situation is complicated bc she has so much wrong at this point#its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent#so my dad was saying that i should look at flights and by tonight hell let me kno if i should pull the trigger and buy a one way ticket home#it sucks. he sounds rough. i feel so bad for him. his wife of 29 years is dying#its not fair. shes only 53#i wanna be there but im stuck here across the country. i wanna go home. thats a bit frighting tho bc itll take me at least 10 hrs to travel#and i dont want her to die while im in the air but i also dont want her to suffer#i hope she gets better but if she doenst i hope its fast. there dont seem to do any good options. shes so tried and its so complicated#and if she does get better than this then what would that even mean? my sister says it doesnt feel like there will b a better anymore after#this. and bless her to the ends of the earth she reached out this morning and was giving me updates#comforting to kno im not just being dramatic. its actually just really bleak#its kinda funny tho. my sister was like meh it doesnt seem so bad and then like 10min later she was like yeah no i was wrong its sorta#horrible apprently shes been deterorating#god. if i go back home do i take clothes for a funeral? do i keep up to date with my genomics class? will i become offset from my graduate#cohort? will i get my wish to play with legos at home? all questions worth considering#well. ill deal with whatever comes. so it goes. itll b fine. i mean ill b fine#just sad ya kno?#three weeks ago she was alright and saying she could fly out to take care of me after oral surgery#now shes dying#unrelated
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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"I'll keep that in mind." And he would, hoping there would be a day that a moment would arise, and he could give Leto that. A hand comes up to wave away the apology, shaking his head, "Don't apologize. I like it." It also helped him learn more about the other without having to ask certain questions. Seeing the soft blush return to Leto's cheeks caused a knot in his stomach he hadn't expected, it was the kind of knot you get when your crush does something that leaves you giddy. For a vampire who was always impulsive he resisted the urge to reach out and brush his fingertips against those blushing cheeks. For once, Levi didn't want to make the first move, he wanted Leto to make them. But the moment he was given the green light; he had every intention of touching every part of this man. Catching the gentle smile only made Levi more enamored with the other. Meeting Leto really felt like his life finally had a meaning, as crazy as it was to think such a thing in their first encounter. Perhaps tomorrow morning he would chalk this night up to some lucid drug infused vision, even if he wasn't on drugs at the moment.
Which is why he was going to keep the seashell safe, to remind himself that this was all real. Leto was real. It was impossible for him to know now, but this little seashell would be the light in his darkness. There would come a time in which he'd be in a very bad situation, because Leviathan was damn good at getting himself into trouble, and the seashell would give him every ounce of power he needed to get out. He'd fight anything, stand up to whatever, whoever, if it meant to make it back to this very spot amongst the other seashells and Leto. And no one had ever given him something so sweet. Normally all his encounters just wanted one thing, some of them didn't even remember his name, but they'd never given him much more than a phone number. He wished he had something to give in return to the other, but he did make a mental note to bring something upon their next run in with one another. Or so he hoped they would run back into each other. "Qui." He smiled, petting the spot where the seashell had nestled in within his shirt pocket.
Levi shrugged at the question about Reyna, unsure of how to really answer the question. "I don't know. I know that is probably a silly response, but truly...I don't know." For the first time in a very, VERY long time Levi can feel a bit of sadness begin to fill him. His brows furrow a little as he tries to process that feeling, giving a small sigh. "When she first left, I was broken. Not because I was in love with her, but because I felt like a failure. I didn't ask to be turned, and it hurt to know that I wasn't good enough for her. That she had chosen me for something, and I couldn't even do that right. I hated her for so long. Nights filled with violence just to spite her because I wanted her to catch wind of the bloodshed and come back. I wanted her to see the monster she truly created by leaving, and I wanted people to hurt the way I was hurting. But...eventually I realized that no matter which way I looked at it...this was my life now." He motions to himself, "And if I couldn't have control over being mortal or immortal, I could control my happiness. So, I began to travel more. I began to embrace the little moments in life, and the beauty this world has to offer. Then...I did begin to miss her. I searched high, low, everywhere I could to find her because I wanted her to see then that I wasn't such a waste. To show her that even monsters could become good enough. That I could be good enough for her and I could take on that position she wanted for me." Instead he chose to shift that need in another way, and thus began his string of one night stands with strangers. At least he was good enough for one night, which is more than he had ever felt. Levi softly chuckles, "And the fucked up part? As much as she fucked me over, I also have so much to thank her for." Like giving him the opportunity to be able to alive long enough to meet someone like Leto.
Now shifting to a lighter topic of conversation, Levi smiles, "Peru. I really loved Peru when I was there. The mountains, the people, the festivals, just all of it. I'd visit there again in a heartbeat." A bit of background noise occurs then which blocked out some of what Leto was saying and truly Levi had made a mistake when saying 'grandfather' but hearing Leto laugh like that? That officially made him want to keep on making said joke. He gives a big grin when the other thanks him, "Thank you for finding me amusing. Most just think I am an asshole." He was, but that wasn't the point right now. As Leto began answering the questions Levi had thrown his way the vampire soaked up every answer like a sponge. Animals, werejaguar, crepes, wagyu steak, it was all being stored in his mind and he would play it over and over during his time away. Anything to remind him of this man, of this moment. "I have no idea how to make wagyu steak properly, but I'll figure it out. That being said, I'm making you that one day. And as for me, I mostly enjoy exploring a new place. Exploring people, in a lot of ways than one, and going on adventures with whoever wants to go them. Thus we are here." He chuckled at the blood comment, smiling softly, "Fine. I also enjoy beignets and of course crepes. I've got a big sweet tooth. In terms of dishes, a giant bowl of authentic ramen is right up my alley. I like things that can make me feel a little warm when I eat them, like gumbo and soups. And it was my first time at that club. I might return to it when I next visit New Orleans, though." He says, in hopes the other would too. His gaze lingers on Leto when the other looks around a bit, nodding as his response. "Thank you for bringing me here, Leto." And here is where he would return whenever he'd visit New Orleans now, at least once. "This is my second time visiting, but I think it's becoming one of my favorite spots. I have a feeling I'll be returning in a couple of months. If you happen to be around....I'd love to see you again."
It felt like their time was coming to an end tonight, which made Levi want to savor this moment even more. While he didn't have anything physical to give Leto to remember him by, he would have the other remember him in another way. He pulls Leto into a tender, deep kiss. One in which a soft groan escapes into the other's mouth, only making him deepened the kiss more. He lets the kiss end naturally, pulling back with a soft smile, "You are something else, Leto.Truly."
"It's the truth though." At least, with the stranger, 'cause Leto feels like even if he was forced to lay bare in front of the vampire, he'd still feel safe. "Sorry cause that was a bit too much, but guess I've said worse." He admits, but his breath catches in his throat when Levi leans down and when he mentions Leto blushing—a soft red shade comes back to his cheek. The Underboss rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, chuckling. It sounds almost timid. His gaze lifts up again and catches Levi's—he smiles back gently. Has he ever seen someone more beautiful than this man, seriously?! Everything seems to be so organic between them—two birds dancing together without thoughts; just instinct. The next day, he'll question his own sanity, but tonight, the world has stopped for them both and he'll savor every fucking single second of their time together.
Leto feels Levi's gaze on him, but even though he'd done the same earlier, his mind cannot wrap itself around the idea that what Levi is saying could be about him. But he feels the squeeze to his hand as he talks about his father for a moment—a hand he doesn't want to let go of. He doesn't know it yet, but he'll always feel these butterflies in his stomach as they hold hands; even 15 years from now. He's too excited to let the vampire talk and when Levi asks for confirmation a out the seashell, he nods. "Yes. It's not much, but something to remember—" me. Leto doesn't expect the little shell to stay in the other's possession for long, but he likes to humor the idea that it will. Though, tonight would be a time he'd never forget; a moment engraved in his memories forever—the beginning of a great friendship and his first time beside the love of his life. "It's a good place to keep it." He chuckles, not taking the promise seriously.
"Yes, you. Who wouldn't want to know about you?" There's confusion in his own question. There's something so fascinating about the vampire—Leto is actually shocked he managed to get his attention and even more that Levi followed. "Anything you're willing to share, really." Because he'll take in everything the other man sas with a sponge. A frowns appears on his face as he listens; he wants to embrace Levi and apologize at the unfairness of not remembering his own family. Leto had very limited time with his parents, but he'd still take that over not remembering. "Do you miss her? Or like wish you could see her agaon." He asks concerned about Levi's life that sounded so lonely. I promise to say at your side as long as you'll allow it—he silently promises the unaware vampire. "Really?! It sounds fascinating! Which place have you loved the most?" Leto is genuinely fascinating—most of his travels have been work related.
When his hand is grabbed again, he realizes that it had been gone for a moment and it strangely saddens him for a sec. Levi is so gentle and it melts him—that is until he hears Levi call Suresh is grandfather. He knows it has to be an honest mistake, maybe the noise around them had made the vampire hear incorrectly, but it makes Leto bursts out in laughter. It's so pure and joyful; almost boyish. He laughs so much that tears corm at the corner of his eyes. "Godfather. Though, he is ancient!" He takes a deep breath, calming himself. "Thank you for that—I haven't laughed like this in forever!" Levi is really something. Another squeeze comes and this time, he hears the questions, but doesn't respond right away. Instead, he leans up to kiss the vampire again. "It's so easy talking with you. Thank you for being—you!" He murmurs as he breaks the kiss. "When I'm not helping my father manage his businesses, I spend as much time as I can at my animal sanctuary/shelter. Gotta admit that I love animals more than people. Probably cause I'm half werejaguar half shapeshifter. My favorite food? I love beignets and French crêpe with salty butter and maple syrup. And savory, cook me wagyu steak on the grill and I'm a happy man. And not really for that club. What about you? What do you love doing when you settle for a moment in one place?" Leto smiles at Levi, wanting to hear him talk more—he love his voice. "And hat about your favorite food, other than blood, cause that's cheating! And was it your firs time at that club?" He wants to know, cause he'd make a habit of going it that was a regular spot for the vampire. He gazes around for a moment and nods. "As much as I can. It's always peaceful for me. Especially when I'm feeling down and down want company or when I'm lonely." He gazes back up at Levi. "Do you come often in New Orleans?" I want to see you again.
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every day I think abt this one fic I used to follow like the gospel from 2020 WRITERMILK WHO WROTE FUCKTOY ON WATTPAD U MADE ME WHO I AM U GOT ME INTO FANFICTION I LOVE YOU
#no idea what scandal happened that made them delete all their fics but GODDDDD I MOURN THAT FIC EVERY DAY#context it was a nanami x reader x gojo fic#gojo was a fuckboy who played with readers feelings while she didnt notice that nanami was pining after her the whole time#it was so sad bc she was ADDICTED to how gojo made her feel and she spent almost every night getting black out drunk at the club#wishing that hed want her the same way she wanted him#almost every time this happened nanami would be there to comfort her but eventually it ruined him too#seeing the woman he loved continue to keep ruining her life for him and always just hope hed fix everything#so the one time he tells her he cant be picking up her broken pieces anymore she reaches her breaking point and uhhhh#suffice to say bad things happen at the club that night she ends up in hospital#during her recovery though nanami comes back to her bc yeh he cant leave her like that cmon#gojo also starts to visit too realising that he should have cared a lot more#suffice to say yn eventually starts to return the same feelings for nanami but its a difficult thing bc#he obv doesnt want to suddenly overwhelm her with his feelings bc she went through traumatic stuff#eventually he takes her on a date when shes better and things just CLICK SO PERFECTLY#then gojo decides to confess 😭😭😭 what a mess#but omg yn finally has broken free of her previous feelings for him and she knows that being with nanami is the right choice for her
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To the peep in my inbox here ya go, fuck it:
Tldr: an anti posts ship hate in a tag, a trans person tells them to tag it, the anti is offended and bullies them for months, and calls them a transphobe for fictional headcanons the anti also has, and calls them a number of slurs including crazy, cissy, etc, until they leave and possibly commit suicide.
The anti’s name is “Howl” and he’s @eightdoctor.
The victim is Jazz @angerissue @helicarrier.
For Howl, I looked through his blog to see if I could find anything on him, and he lives in the uk or across the pond, based on timezones, and he’s posted a lot of selfies so if you ever come across someone like this, steer fucking clear if you value your mental health. (This is readily accessible public info on his blog fwiw.) I feel sick to my stomach so I’ll just post all the shit I found.
I think it started with this,
Howl posted anti shit in a character tag:
https://eightdoctor.tumblr.com/post/672832902144376832/wait-this-person-is-so-crazy-check-this-shit
He was obviously looking to start shit and annoy people and be a ship policer, but Angerissue pointed this out and she got so much harassment in return.
Howl literally reblogged that ship post over and over again to shit on Angerissue with new little "damning things” he got from her huge HUGE blog that she ran, like did he just sit on her blog for hours to find these tiny things or wtf?? There’s so much stuff on her blog, I can’t even begin to think how he even found what he was posting. What happened to don’t like don’t read:
https://eightdoctor.tumblr.com/post/676090902015524864
After that came this:
https://eightdoctor.tumblr.com/post/676032972316688384/this-person-went-to-the-er-cuz-i-called-them-out
“Haha cissy”
“White savior tendencies”
What the actual fuck?
I looked at Angerissue’s posts and things to see if I could find any white savior narrative and I found literally nothing, not even anything about race at all.
“I wish they’d died in the er actually”
He literally encouraged his posse to bully her off tumblr, a bunch of antis joined in. Someone said Angerissue blocked them and it must have meant she was a homophobe (noo, it couldn’t be because they were harassing her, no way, she must have blocked them because she’s a homophobe, these fucking wankers with no compassion). Someone said “wow she posted all that instead of just apologizing” when nobody asked for an apology or even tried to talk to her, it was all attacks!
https://waxwingsfail.tumblr.com/post/672859227785773056/brooo-are-we-just-gonna-ignore-this
Look at all the checkboxes this guy checks off. He calls Angerissue ableist while being ableist himself (“this person is crazy”), and while Angerissue I’m guessing is disabled because she has migraines! And lots of other things he can’t even substantiate, while he acts hateful about cis people himself and calls her a “cissy”. I’m fucking LIVID.
I guess nobody actually went to Angerissue to talk to her, they just jumped into the mob with their pitchforks.
The only KIND OF questionable thing was “female pronouns” but a lot of people make that mistake and I checked Angerissue’s blog, she had changed it?? And any thing else just seems like bad wording, I don’t see any actual transphobia, she checks out to be an actually good person and her comments on her blog even say she was open to fixing things she does wrong, I just.
All of Angerissue’s phrasing was easily explained by ignorance or just bad wording, and I know someone who gets migraines, sometimes you just fuck up your words (idr what the name for that is) so that’s a possibility too, why attribute such tiny fuckups to malice right out of the gate?!
(Don’t even get me started on Howl’s about page. He’s obviously an anti so this whole thing just reeks of a smear campaign.)
Also Howl has a headcanon of his own about Bruce Banner (the character Angerissue writes and Howls’ special interest) having internalized homophobia too, so why did he say “lol they made them a transphobe with their whole chest” about Angerissue like it was an attack on her as a person?? And say “can we bully her off the website now”?
https://eightdoctor.tumblr.com/post/180778623661/what-are-your-top-10-headcanons-about-bruce
He was shitting on Angerissue and telling people to bully her for literally the same headcanon he has! What a hypocrite.
I also found this joke post a long time back into his blog, but obviously it’s not just a joke for him, it’s something he bullied Angerissue over because he couldn’t accept her own headcanons and he even bullied her over things he had the same headcanon for (but he didn’t mention that of course, because if Angerissue was horrible for having that headcanon it would mean he was too, and he couldn’t have that could he?):
https://eightdoctor.tumblr.com/post/177280551336
Also Howl captured a paragraph where Angerissue explained Bruce Banner’s mental illness started in his childhood then got worse when he met another character (Wanda maximoff), and right below that, even tho the EVIDENCE WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE CAPTURE, Howl accused Angerissue of making that new character cause Bruce Banner’s mental illness instead of it starting in his youth (here, under the reblog with the weird dick comment...)
This went on for months apparently.
The worst part is, Angerissue says she is nonbinary on her blog so I can’t imagine how hard this was for her, imagine being called a transphobe for a headcanon by someone who has the same headcanon.
Edit: Thanks to a comment I just learned that “cissy” is a derogatory slur made towards cis people, so by calling Angerissue “cissy” Howl was implying she wasn’t trans (or nonbinary), but cis. If that isn’t transphobic, idk what is. You can’t take identities away to bully or punish people, holy shit.
Now Angerissue seems to have not been on for months, and she made some very worrying posts about killing herself. I was talking to one of her friends which is how I found about all this, and they haven’t heard from her either, even though they’ve been in good contact for a year. Angerissue put ten years of her life into a passion character, she made gut-wrenchingly beautiful gifs and fics and made a mainstay blog for the roleplay commuity, and this is what she got. This was the kind of person she was. I hope she’s still alive but I don’t know if she is, and I’m horrified and sick and something needs to be done even if that isn’t the case.
THIS ISNT FUNNY, ITS NOT A FUCKING JOKE, STOP BULLYING PEOPLE OVER FUCKING HEADCANONS OR HONEST MISTAKES BECAUSE YOU WANT A TEMPORARY LAUGH ABOUT HOW (NOT) MORALLY SUPERIOR YOU ARE, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKS.
Footnote edit 1: Confirmation directly from Jazz's blog that Howl spent at least 3 hours initially on her blog to dig around for things, then posted more things after a month, and a lot more things that prove Howl's accusations about her were false.
#callout#fuck it#eightdoctor#bullying#suicide cw#psa#anti receipts#i can't even tag this as drama this is beyond drama#fucking piece of shit#callout tw#callout cw#edited to fix pronouns for angerissue#also i took out his first name but it's findable if you look at his blog idk#he's even posted his height and a bunch of other things#he's shameless and really doesn't care if people recognize him as THIS person#bullying cw#bullying tw#marvel#edited again to fix angerissue*'s url#i feel so so so bad and i reached out to her i just wish i could have known who she was earlier#i can't stop thinking about that#people to block
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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srry for the sad posting
#personal#i cant believe I'm crying in the work bathroom over this#i wish i could just feel mt feelings rn abt this instead of having all the nuances pop into my hear#i desperately wish she hadnt apologized yet#she put a ball in my court that i didnt want yet bc i still needed to ice my ankle and do PT before playing again#<< metaphor in case its unclear to the like 1 or 2 ppl who might read this#but like i cant stop thinking about this stupid apology#ik she said it bc she probably meant it#but i wasnt READY FOR THAT#the only reason i even reached out was to say “hey give me my stuff back im giving you yours back”#i tried so hard NOT to engage with the emotional side of the convo bc i did NOT have the space for it#and now i feel like the bad guy bc im not answering her for this apology#bc im not READY#and its been in the forefront of my mind for literally like 48hrs now#oughghgh
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my mum: stopped me at every opportunity I asked to come see my dying grandpa bc ‘you don’t want to see him like this’ even tho I already had seen him and he had been happy to see me after years estranged from that side of the family and I very much wanted to fit as much time with him in as possible before it was too late and in the end she blocked me from all of it
also my mum: you never came to see your grandpa, you don’t give a shit
and now my mum yet again: won’t let me come see my gran who has been losing weight and falling and breaking bones a lot and been in and out of hospital since being on her own. Didn’t let me go talk to gran when we were both at my great aunt’s funeral last year and so I never saw her and she only found out I was there through other people who saw me. Refuses every time I ask to see my gran, including now when I’ve got presents for her
also my fucking mum right now in the same breath as refusing to allow me to come over: you never come to see your gran, you don’t give a shit
make it make fucking sense jfc
#Never mind the fact that the way my mum and aunt and cousins act about my gran it feels like I’m the only one who DOES give a shit#I’m the one crying and feeling bad for her and wishing I could do more#while my mum and aunt bitch about each other and refuse to coordinate to find an arrangement that works bc they don’t talk#And no-one believes me bc of the years we spent estranged from the family#which was largely bc of my mum being Fucking Terrifying and my aunt a manipulative bitch#I’m so pissed off. I wanted to mend things with papa bc when everyone else had acted like fools he had been fine#and he didn’t deserve to lose contact with us for all this years and I wanted him to know we love him before he was gone#and my aunt and cousin walked us out of the cancer centre the second time I tried to see him so I only got one actual session with him#and now I can’t reach my gran who has been lonely and declining bc of the grief and loneliness#and I’m fucking pissed bc yeah my gran did some batshit stuff in the past#and it was all a big mess but I still don’t want her to feel like I don’t cherish all the good times I spent with her as a kid#before everything went sour. You couldn’t keep me away from them as a kid. I loved spending my holidays there#some of my fondest childhood memories were with them and I hate that things got ruined but I just#want to make up for lost time and let bygones be bygones and yet everything remains complicated
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I wish people wanted me to be their friend :/
#ignore me lol just feeling sad#tried to meet up with one of my friends from high school and she kinda just blew me off#we were roommates in college before she dropped out#but once we got to college it felt like she just left me in the dust#she would hang out with her cousin all the time#and she would hang out with other people without me that we knew#she never really wanted to do anything with me#and i was always the one trying to initiate to hang out#i cant even remember if she ever did#i just dont understand why no one wants to be my friend#am i really that annoying? or that bad of a person? or so good at bringing negative energy?#i just wish i knew why i cant keep my friends#and why people rarely reach out to me#🥝.rambles
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How do I say “you’re fine but i would be happier if we just didn’t talk anymore” to my mom in a way that doesnt feel cruel
#I already tried once and it felt bad so i reached out to talk again but the truth is i just feel bad about being her first born#and not wanting to talk to her#she’s like find or whatever so its hard to find a reason to cut contact#grasping at straws here#the stress comes from causing her stress if i knew she would be fine i could just do it#i wish she was more bigoted so i could just use that to leave#how do i tell this woman The Truth about How I Feel without coming across as heartless#‘im more annoyed by you saying you love and miss me’#i can’t even bring myself to lie and say that i miss her so i just play up the ‘ilu2’#this is the most annoying shit in the world i wish her love was conditional i wish she would forget i exist so i could just get on with lif#the amount of times ive had to stop myself from saying ‘i think we’d both be happier if we just stopped talking’ could buy me something#me not cutting off my mom and the rest of my family is more about how i think they would feel#rather than how i know id feel#which is ambivelant#it’s similar to like when you hang out with someone once and you just never talk again#that’s how it would feel to me if we just stopped taking forever
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.
#vent post uwu havent seen those in a while have we <33#looks like a depressive episode again#aw shucks#:/#laid in bed all day. did absolutely nothing. slept for 18 hours.#havent washed my hair since saturday. havent taken my thyroid meds in three days so idk that may have sth to do with this too ig#my flat is a total mess and im ignoring all uni groupchats (uni itself as well) and non-groupchats too.#only pretending im Normal to my best friend even tho she explicitly asked me to tell her when im feeling Bad and she does reach out to me#with her problems but i just cant bring myself to talk to her about mine#also i miss my ed so badly i need it back desperately. and i mean DESPERATELY.#anyway. something is seriously seriously wrong with me rn. like fr.#and i still haven't found the earring kms#had a bit of a ✨strongly suicidal✨ moment yesterday like it really made me go Wowwwwww girl hold yer horses cause yeah.#we havent seen that one in a while either#(no matter what my evil poll tags might have said lmao). anyway. absolutely horrible last two days.#and i once again feel like the worst and most useless and most disgusting person in the world.#my body is trash and there's nothing in this world that i hate more than it. i wish it would just. evaporate. whatever.#i hate it with a passion. peace and love.
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