#and i once again feel like the worst and most useless and most disgusting person in the world.

[widevibratobitch]

.

[trashlie]

You brought Nol and Yui up and elaborated on their dynamic beautifully, I just wanted to add something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. Nol isn't only a threat to Yui because he is a potential heir. He is also a threat because if he ever exposes what she did to him in the Hirahara mental facility, it could be her downfall. The incident between the brothers was something she was personally, directly involved in. It all boils down to her. Whatever the contents of Yujing's article will be, Yui will probably be able to weasel her way out of any accusations. (I don't see her standing trial for murder or any of the Kim's crimes anytime soon.) But this? This is not something she will be able to get away with that easily once people start digging and questioning things.

To prevent it all from coming to light, she needs to keep Nol in this miserable state. Similarly to how she needs Kousuke to have this warped perception of reality, the same applies to Nol. She needs him isolated, internalizing the guilt, believing he deserves everything that happened, that fighting back is useless and only leads to more pain. But if he ever breaks free from her control, finds support, starts unpacking everything that has happened... That's when he becomes unpredictable, and unpredictable is dangerous. Back then, Yui got rid of Nessa but let Nol live. I wouldn't be surprised at all if a day comes when she really regrets that decision.

And this really makes me wonder how exactly Nol remembers the incident. Does he remember it clearly, or was his memory warped? Does he stay quiet because it's his word vs Kousuke's Yui's the media the whole world so he knows no one would believe him? How did he process his time in the facility? Does he remember it clearly and would be able to talk about, or is it all a haze? Does he recall names, faces? Would he be able to recognize the people he met there again?

Related to this, I have this feeling that whatever was going on in the mental facility, is... bigger than Nol. Bigger than just one kid getting abused and brainwashed. What if he isn't the only victim. What if it is the entire facility, or at least a subsection of it. What if Yui, since she runs the facility, fostered this kind of environment? This is a sensitive subject so I'm trying to find the right words... Unfortunately, this is not as unrealistic as people might think. It's horrible and absolutely disgusting but abuse in mental asylums, as well as institutions with a similar framework like nursing homes, is not a rare occurrence, because of the power dynamics in place and the residents being isolated from the outside world. Unfortunately, not every nurse, doctor, or medical staff is a good, caring, kind person. Some of them are the worst, most heartless people who simply want to have power over others. And power is such a key theme in the story already, isn't it. Given the author's background in the medical field, I would not be surprised at all if this is something she is planning on commenting on in season 2...

[Content warning: In my response I will talk a little about implied sexual assault related to Yui.]

Oh man, this is such a GOOD message and I think you're bringing up something that hasn't been explored nearly as much so far! That, yes, as we move into s2 we are going to start seeing the much darker underbelly of the story that has been sort of held off for so long, things that have only been danced around, until our characters grow older, aaaaahhhh!

But yes, re: Nol and Yui, that's such a good point! Like... something that I've talked about with a lot of people lately is that maybe Yujing is actually working on two stories - one as a favor to Rand, to help rectify Nol's image and reputation, and the other her much bigger story about Yui and the Kims, because I agree, there is no way whatever she has right now is going to be able to make the necessary dent, it will be so easy to bury. But if it turns out she IS working on two stories, this does a couple things. First, it plants that seed of credibility. If Nol was, in fact, an innocent person pushed to take the fall of the Hirahara's partner's son, then what can that say about Yui, the Hiraharas, the Kims? What does that say about corruption amongst the elite?

And what does it say about Nol's past?

If Nol's image can be redeemed (as much as it can be, because I have no doubts there will be people would brush it off, but fortunately Yujing bears a reputation for her honest work and reporting) while planting that seed, then later in the future when Yujing has even more dirt, even more testimonies, even more events to report on, people will be more willing to accept it, to believe it, to start to see that corruption, and how good people lose their lives (whether because they actually die or it's a case like Nol, who hasn't really been "living" all of these years as much as going through the motions).

Being able to expose the kind of manipulation and meddling Yui has done would be big, for her both as a Hirahara and also overseeing the health facilities, the hospital, etc. Someone of her status and position manipulating and drugging her own child and step-son, institutionalizing someone who didn't need it, the things that went on in there? ;A;

You're right that it's very likely Nol is not the only person who was abused in that facility, and I think it's very likely, too, that we might see this further explored. Something I think about re: Yui is that she has some kind of trauma, too. Not just the whole "I am a woman and I resent the patriarchy for what I have never been afforded and I have had to work harder in order to get what I have" and the survivalist mentality of needing to be at the top so that no one can take your position, which is already... uh... a lot lol. But on top of that, I think it' very possible that Yui was possibly assaulted when she was younger (perhaps even by one of the Kims which is a whole other can of worms) and that in never getting to process what happened to her, in not getting to get much needed help, perhaps she internalized that in a very damaging way. That mentality that this happened to her because she was weak, because she wasn't vigilant, because she wasn't powerful enough could be a part of the way she treats others, how she has this almost.... doesn't it feel like she treats people like her prey, that they dance for her amusement? That maybe if they were stronger, if they were more powerful, she wouldn't be able to play them like a fiddle? And I think, in an insidious way, this goes hand in hand with what you're bringing up - about fostering an environment where people who thrive on power can lord that over others.

It's especially sick and dark because yes, you are right - there are people who do often need that help and don't get the help they need because of the kinds of people who work in those institutions. We do see that a lot in nursing homes! And given that Nol was institutionalized on a basis that seems to be largely fictitious, or at least that it wasn't what it appeared, it feels even more hand in hand that powers of abuse were at play in there.

I have a few thoughts additional to this, too.

Something I think about Nol at this time is that he probably WAS an angry, hot-headed kid. His mother uprooted him and moved them to a foreign country where they live as undocumented immigrants in a home that Rand pays for for them, but they aren't living as citizens of this place. They're effectively living in hiding, in the shadows of Rand's Other Family. He must have been so alone! He must have been so upset. His father is this man who has a whole other family, he's MARRIED, and his mother is essentially his mistress, The Other Woman. She uprooted their lives for THAT. To be near him even though they couldn't actually BE. Nol wasn't part of their lives, part of that world. Every interaction we've seen of Kousuke and Nol spanning those years is just Kousuke refusing Nol, demeaning him.

In 219 when Nol and Shinae are talking about not celebrating his birthday, he talks about abusing the cow that became your burger and it makes me wonder if Nol and Nessa argued when he was younger, when he was hot-headed and bitter and angry and upset about being forced to live like this for a man who never once showed the side of him that his mother insists exists. Did he say terrible things about her choices, about what she was doing? Did he say hurtful things?

And to this thought... did Yui ever drug Nol via tea with something that might amplify and exacerbate his already hot-headed, bitter, angry feelings? That made him lash out at an old brother who treated him like dirt. At a family that made him feel like an invisible monster, like a mistake? Could the incident that happened the night he was taken away have involved something like that? And even if not then, we know Nol has an aversion to tea, which means it could still have been anything else. And not only an aversion to tea but an aversion to Yui's touch, to her presence...........

Whenever I think about the time he was institutionalized, I think of it a lot like what I think conversion therapy sounds like. They took this kid who is, for the most part, pretty normal. Is he having adjustment issues? Probably. Is his anger misplaced and out of place? Probably not. They took this kid and convinced him that something is wrong with him - that he himself is an anomaly, a mistake. That everything would be better if he didn't exist. Like, I feel deep in my heart that what happened to Nol was deeply brainwashing in nature, psychologically impacting how he sees and perceives himself, how he thinks about these incidents in the past that he was involved in. That everything would be so much better if he just didn't exist. His mother wouldn't be dead. His father's family would know peace. They convinced this kid that bad things come to those he cares about, because he is a blight. That he was a terrible son and he lost his mother because of it. I feel SO STRONGLY that this must be why this mentality is so deeply ingrained in him, why it's something that he cannot just let go of, because his entire identity is deeply rooted in it.

His entire panic about waking up in the hospital, and how he could calm down once he found out it wasn't Hirahara Memorial. His aversion to drugs, even when it was a pain killer given by Kousuke at the beginning of the story. I just.... i just KNOW terrible things happened in that hospital to him, and probably to others. ;_____; I'm haunted by his aversion to Yui's touch, the way he reacts every time she reaches to him ugggghhhhhhhh

So yes, I do wonder how much he remembers of that time - and it's probably going to depend on any drugs they were administering (whether or not he needed it). I think, too, he probably was made to participate in anger management, which probably further just warped his perception of himself and his feelings, and what he's allowed to feel.

But as for that night in question, I get the feeling even Nol doesn't have a clear memory of it, based on the beginning of episode 150. Something we've been picking up on re: memory in ILY is that color is one of the factors that determines how clear a memory is. A good example of this is Shinae's recollection of the formal and how it all works backwards from blurry, black and white images and slowly gains more clarity and saturation as she returns to what wasn't affected by being drugged. Other things is stuff like in Kousuke's memory where Nessa's face is scribbled out.

Nol's memory of the night he was taken away is jarring - there's no clarity, everything is blurred as if it's in motion, we can't make out the images, the colors are inversed (he himself appears blue and black). I think this implies that he himself has a very tenuous grasp on what happened that night, cannot recall clearly for himself his memory vs what Yui said. The most clear things, in fact, are what he was saying, his insistence that he wasn't doing anything, that he didn't touch him, he just wanted to ask him something.

We've seen even in Shinae's memories that speech can become blurred, so Nol's speech being the clearest part....? Interesting, right? So there seems to be some conviction in what he said and insisted, but the rest of it seems to be vague, easy to manipulate, to convince him he's remembering wrong.

And I think there's two strong possibilities here.

The first is that Nol could have been drugged at that time - and this really plays into the theory that maybe he's been given things that amplify and exacerbate his emotions, make him look like he's a violent, unstable child, make him come across more belligerent. If he was drugged maybe that's why the vision is so blurred, so warped.

The other possibility is this: quimchee has revealed that Nol is practically blind without his glasses, is nearsighted, and that this is, in fact, plot-related. We also know Nol now wears contacts - perhaps so that he can never be left blind if he forgets his glasses (loses them, they're taken from him) and.... what if that's connected to the night he was taken away.

Further, on top of this, Yui is the spitting image of Kousuke, but in a wig. And the night that Nol was taken away? Yui's hand looked like it was scuffed/battered/injured.

So I think it's safe to assume that no one but maybe Yui (and Rand?) has the best understanding of what happened that night. It seems possible that Nol was without his glasses, so already all but blind, and based on this being such a traumatic event, the memory is already distorted, the colors show that. Even if he wasn't drugged when this happened, it seems like it's something he himself can't very well recall, except for the words he spoke. ;A;

And to tie in your initial points lmao yes I think that's a really important thing to remember. Yui needs to keep Nol in a state where he cannot question these things, where it's easier for him to believe these lies that he's been saddled with, to continue to believe that he is a blight, a mistake, something that never should have existed, that wherever he goes, doom follows, that those he cares about are damned by his association. Every time he takes interest in someone Yui sees to it that they are "taken from him" like how Alyssa was pushed into a career that would mean she doesn't get to see him, leaving him alone and isolated, and convinced that this is what happens. It's UGGGGHHHHHH it's so awful, but YES that's very much how she operates, and why it's so so SO important to me that Nol and Shinae talk, because like she told him back at the Parks, nothing changes if he leaves. She still works for Yui, she's still under contract. Rand has reinforced this notion, that she WILL NEVER ESCAPE and the best she can do is to learn to play Yui's games and fight the way she does. As long as Nol is alone, she can continue to isolate him, continue to use the people he cares about against him, to punish him with their harm.

But like you said - maybe if he can get away from that, he can get the much needed clarity. It will take a lot of work and patience to unlearn what has been drilled into his head, but I think being able to talk to Shinae, to be open with each other would be an important first step, so that they can never be used against each other, and so that he can see that it's not him - it's Yui, and it's always been her. ;A;

[mourningobject]

re: your post saying you have nuanced takes on proshipping; what nuance is there to not wanting csem/abuse/incest/etc written for entertainment and fandom without tact. "dislike both sides of the argument" perhaps it's my black and white autism thinking but genuinely what is there to dislike about not wanting twitter users to romanticize various forms of abuse. i am asking this not as some random hate anon but as someone who is considering whether or not to break mutual; i do not want anyone who can even slightly be okay with abuse for entertainment around me; and therefore am asking clarification.

Putting this under a cut because I don't want a biggie made out of it. TLDR; I dislike pro-shippers as people and think they are disgusting scum, but dislike anti as a label due to the rampant hypocrisy and occasional lack of nuance regarding if and how to portray sensitive content in art, as well as the performative behaviour & the lack of curating of their online spaces.

I've learnt to stop caring so much about what other people do even if the content they create makes me sick to my stomach. I do not agree with creating such content without tact or for the sake of making their dicks hard. But I just won't interact, I'll block. I also don't see how this material can be considered "abuse for entertainment"... unless you're talking about the abuse within the content.

But I understand your concern. You don't want someone perverse to be by your side. To elaborate on what I meant, the problem isn't with the concept of someone simply disliking seeing such things, that's more than fine. I just don't either as a Label, fundamentally.

Antis are more often than not performative and reactionary online (particularly the ones fixated on the subject, or with uncovering others as secretly being evil and such to the point of sending others retrospring asks like "Uuum, why do you follow [so and so]" and not even giving the @ for the person to block them and assuming the worst of them to the point it comes off as fake advocacy on their behalf. Especially when I myself follow artists who create questionable content once in a blue moon, but if it isn't their entire catalogue does that make me evil? These people aren't and will never be my friends. This is something that happened a lot on twitter, especially a few months ago. I understand the fear of being close to someone who's morals don't align with yours, but if you genuinely have concerns you may as well dm them instead of making a spectacle out of it), especially when most of them turn around and indulge in content that borders on the same, or even downright degeneracy on the side, as well as comparing it to genuine real world abuse or feeling it important to mention in cases that are totally unrelated where a person has committed actual crimes which is like, well, both can matter, but is now the time? I'd say it only counts in cases like that of Lily Orchard, where what she portrayed in her works was a reflection of her disgusting self and abuse she'd committed in real life. I don't believe in fiction not affecting reality because that is a redundant way to view art, as well as due to how art can reflect the creator's subconscious views, or normalize things to them, and they'll repeat again and again, "it's just fiction!" as if that makes it any better that they get off on the things they do. But these people will exist no matter what and so will the content they create, so antis should learn to actually curate their online spaces rather than getting into useless discourse, particularly teenagers who won't be able to change the minds of degenerate adults, or make a big deal about it publicly to show how they have the moral high-ground. Not to mention, countless antis I've seen are hypocrites who end up being revealed to believe this doesn't matter at all in the real world, or are friends with people who engage with pro ship content, but will harass others for it...? It's the rampant double standards that I don't like. Plus, a lot of media that antis love has elements that would be considered "pro ship" like nitro chiral games, and targets those audiences specifically, but they are surprised when the people it is made for interact with it. Of course I believe one can engage in media with disgusting things while being critical, though; I am an Ensemble Stars fan. There is shota-bait and incest all over the source material. That doesn't make me inherently sick because I'm not there for that, I understand that.

Also, most antis dislike these concepts being portrayed in media altogether, which is something I disagree with. If handled well these are experiences that deserve to be shared to others. Many victims have internalized so many horrific thoughts that they can't help but handle it imperfectly—that's something they have to deal with in therapy, though, why should I be the one to try to open their eyes as if it won't push them deeper into the hole they're in? You know?

There's also the thin line between "dark content" and "proship material". Who has the right to define this? (Obviously CSEM being inherently immoral is a given). That's all, mostly. There's more I've thought about before but I'm forgetting right now. I think both sides are worthy of critique and simply find most self-identified antis annoying, not nearly in a way that is as egregious as their counterpart, to be fair. I'm too busy simply being a Normal Person who also shakes his head in disdain when I see things like that. Even though I have mental problems regarding this sort of thing. I'm not saying to "not be sensitive", but to "not be stupid".

I think pro-shippers should stay away from antis because they are mostly children and victims themselves at that, and antis should stay away from pro-shippers because they are disgusting adults who will never be saved or changed by their protests.

My questions in this post are rhetorical even though I suppose I'm open to discussion and further elaboration but I think it's more than enough to show where I stand and whether you want to stay as my mutual or not. But that's essentially why I don't self-identify with either. Also, this could have used a dm, but I'm happy to explain my views. I’d at least appreciate an anonymous final verdict, though!

[strawwritesfic]

Brock Rumlow x Female!Former SHIELD Agent!Reader: Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Fried

Summary: All old flames grow cold eventually–Excepting, of course, yours.

Rating/Warnings/Tags: T (bad language, torture, physical abuse, beating, brainwashing, post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

Fic Trade Prompt: “Don’t make my job too easy~ ;)” Plus, I got to pick the character to write for this time around.

Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Fried

You awoke with a start in complete darkness with one hell of a headache pounding through your skull. Where you were and how you’d got to wherever that was you didn’t know, but it didn’t feel like you’d come along willingly. A multitude of invisible cuts stung up and down your body; your stomach felt as though it had had its contents punched out of it recently; and maybe you couldn’t see to confirm this, but you were pretty sure your left eye was swollen shut. Worst of all, every cell inside of you felt dry and hot and buzzy, as though you’d spent the evening before playing test subject for a new line of Tasers.

But what had happened mattered very little in comparison to your present predicament. You could catalog injuries once you were definitely safe. It didn’t take long for you to decide that your current location wasn’t that. Straining your ears, you heard nothing. No hum of electricity. No faint whir of a security camera. No chattering from anyone keeping guard. Eerie, you thought, until you decided to stand up…

…and found your arms clamped tightly to a couple of armrests. You had not realized that you were sitting down in an actual chair until you were unable to lift your wrists. Try as you might, no matter what angle you used, the restraints wouldn’t budge. Your ankles were in a similar state. Gritting your teeth, you mentally prepared to dislocate the bones. Nothing you hadn’t done before, but never a pleasant prospect. On the count of three. Three…two–

“Good morning,” came a deep voice from another corner of the room, “sweetheart.”

The sudden appearance of someone in your cell was not what caused you to freeze. No, you only stopped your attempts to get loose because you recognized the voice. You squinted into the dark. Still you could hear no breathing, see nothing further than the pitch black two inches from your nose. But then again, this man should have been a ghost.

“Brock?” you asked, voice raspy. Sounded (and felt) like you’d been smacked in the trachea, too.

A rumble of laughter answered you, but no footsteps. “I don’t go by that name anymore. But it’s good to hear you haven’t forgotten me entirely. Thought you might have, the way you’ve been treating me.”

Those three sentences were all it took to force the shock out of your system and flood it instead with frustration and anger. You clenched your fists into useless balls, rattling your cuffs as you did.

“I haven’t been treating you any way,” you said. “Not since INSIGHT. Not since Hydra.”

You glared in the direction from which Brock’s voice had issued, but still you could see no sign of him. Wherever you were, there were no windows. He had to be there, though; you hadn’t heard him move away or out. Sure enough, when he spoke again, he sounded close by:

“Don’t pretend that you leaving had anything to do with either of those.”

“Oh yeah? And why else would I leave you? Because you’re such a wonderful person, I’d be a fool not to stay?”

This time, the silence that stretched out after your final question lasted long enough for you to start wondering if Brock really was in there with you. He always did know how to stay silent and still–a boon working as the head of STRIKE–but even he had to shift sometimes, even he had to breathe. Maybe he had an intercom rigged up. You tried to hold your breath to listen for him again to no avail. Then you did hear a breath, a long, rattling almost laugh.

“Oh, I don’t know.” A click sounded just before the room was flooded with light. Your eyes snapped shut to avoid the pain that surged through your already throbbing head for what little good that did. “How about this?”

It took you a few seconds to force your eyelids back open. Sure enough, your left would hardly move. Through what remained of your field of vision, you could not see much through the sudden haze of light–not much outside of a dark shape in the corner of the huge room, that was. You blinked, and the figure came into focus: a dark-haired man sitting against a wall of security deposit boxes, and wearing thick, dark armor. As soon as your gaze reached his face, Brock grinned.

“Normally I wear the mask.” He stood, gesturing to a helmet sitting by his feet. It, too, was black, but with a skull blasted across its face in white paint. Then Brock kicked the mask to the side and strode purposely over to where you were clamped to the chair. “But I don’t need to wear it for you. No secrets between us, [Name]. Isn’t that right?”

Up close, you could see his features better even through your damaged eye. However you looked, you definitely looked better than Brock. His face was a twisted mass of reddened flesh. As you took his new appearance in, he drew closer, leering down at you. You shrank away, but all this did was make him chuckle.

“I thought so. Couldn’t stand to be with someone so ugly, could you?”

You swallowed thickly. “I didn’t see that before I left.”

Brock laughed again. “You’re a damn shitty liar. Always have been. You think I didn’t know? You think I was deaf and dumb under all those bandages? You think I had any delusions that my girl would stay by my side after Captain America demolished a building on top of my fucking face?!”

His voice rose in volume and intensity, and with each sentence, he thrust himself further into your personal space. You made yourself stay in place, though your heaving chest betrayed your fears.

“I left because you were working with Hydra, Brock,” you said, willing your voice to stay even. “Because I don’t want to be with a terrorist–”

“Terrorist!” he shouted, and for one blessed moment he stepped away from you. Unfortunately, he was soon back and closer than ever, his nose practically pressed to your own. “I’m a mercenary, sweetheart. I work for the highest bidder, and don’t you go pretending you’re not just the same as me.”

“I’m not like you. I don’t work for Hydra. I don’t work for SHIELD anymore either. I’m doing real work, good work, with the–”

“With the Avengers. Yeah. I heard.”

Despite his claims to have already known about your present employment, Brock appeared put off by the news. He turned away from you, pressed his hand to his mouth, and shook his head. You took advantage of his distraction to again attempt to get at least one hand out of your shackles. Too bad they seemed to be made for someone much, much stronger than you.

And then Brock was back, smiling so widely that his eyes turned to half-moons inside their scarred lids.

“I was good to you, wasn’t I? Brought you flowers, like a good boyfriend. Took you out for dinner. Walked you home from work, cuddled with you at night, bought your goddamn tampons! And what did it get me? What good did any of that do?”

To that you had no proper response. All you could do was stare, captivity momentarily forgotten in the light of the dawning realization that your ex-boyfriend had gone completely insane. Yes, Brock had done all of those things for you, for years. You had been happy with him for all those years. You had thought you’d been lucky to be with the guy that headed STRIKE, one of SHIELD’S golden boys, the most handsome man in the whole organization. All the same:

“I don’t date Nazis,” you snarled.

“Is that what you think I was? A Nazi?” Brock shook his head, but then seemed to drop the subject, his mind wandering as his dark eyes traveled up above your head. “Never let the higher ups take you in, either. Wasn’t like they didn’t want to. Good enough to be an Avenger, Agent [L Name]. Could’ve had you conditioned by someone who knew what they were doing, and we would have never been in this mess.”

“What mess?” you asked, if only to keep Brock talking. A little further, and you thought you might have a chance of dislocating your wrist just enough to slip out of Brock’s restraints.

Brock said nothing.

“Brock,” you said once more, “what mess?”

He seemed to only then remember you were there. His eyes drew slowly down until he was staring right into yours, seemingly oblivious to your desire to get free. “

Tell me you still love me, [Name],” he said, sounding almost normal.

“Excuse me?”

“Tell me you still love me,” he repeated. “Tell me you still love me, and none of this has to happen.”

“None of what has to happen?”

“Just tell me that you’ll take me back! The rest of it doesn’t matter. Just tell me that you still love me!”

You mustered all of your energy, looked Brock dead in the eye, and spat in his disgusting face. He froze.

“The man I fell in love with was just that–a man.,” you said breathlessly. “What are you? Some burnt shell, that’s all that left. Not even enough courage to take me on face to face. You’re pathe–”

One thickly gloved hand shot out viper-fast and put your jaw in a vice grip. Brock’s lips pulled back into a snarl that gave way to another laugh that raised the hairs on the back of your neck.

“Careful, [Name]. I brought you here to kill you. Don’t make my job too easy.” He winked, a gesture that you did not return. His smile faded as his fingers gripped your chin even tighter. “Either you’re leaving here mine, or you ain’t leaving here at all.”

“And what is that supposed to mean? You’ve been babbling since you got me here. Tell me what your plan is, if you’re so proud of it.”

He considered you for a long moment–too long. Your jaw ached; you could feel his fingers pressing bruises into your skin. At last, he released you, then gestured up to where he had been looking only a few minutes before.

“You’re sittin’ in a real special chair, darling,” he said as your own eyes traveled upward.

Your heart gave a great thud as you realized exactly where you were. You’d seen the Winter Soldier’s files, and unless you could get out of there, you were screwed.

“Brock–”

“See, this here bank’s a front for Hydra,” Brock went on as though he couldn’t hear you. Who knew? He was far gone enough that maybe he couldn’t. “But they dropped it like a hot potato after Rogers fucked over Project INSIGHT. Once upon a time, they used to strap Cap’s old war buddy into this and fry the living daylights out of his skull. Only saw it done a few times myself, but how hard could it be?”

“You wouldn’t.”

His new, predatory smile returned. “Wouldn’t I? How do you know I haven’t already done it? That’s what this setup is for, after all. Memory loss. And I want you back pretty damn bad.”

He had a good point. Your head definitely felt like it had been put through the ringer–but unless a lot more time had passed than your body could account for, you still had all your memories. In fact, you had enough memories to know that you weren’t about to beg this man for your life.

“You’re not going to get away with this,” you said in as dangerous a voice as you could muster.

Brock ignored you, walking over to where a very obvious lever had been installed near your chair. Before you could say anything more, he pulled it, and your chair–Bucky’s chair–shifted slowly backwards. The mechanism above your head jolted to life, then drifted down toward your head. Only then did Brock answer you:

“Who’s gonna come for you? SHIELD? Don’t make me laugh. They know about us. They’ll think you were in on it all along. A Nazi terrorist, just like you said. Always spouting the company line. And the Avengers?” Here he did laugh. “Think they got better things to care about than where you slipped off to in the middle of the night. Never got in the habit of staying in one place too long, did you?”

He was right. He was right, and what was worse, begging was beginning to seem a better and better option the longer the whirring in the chair went on. You rattled your wrists, rattled your ankles, arched your back to strain with all your strength against your bonds, but nothing moved or loosened. Of course it didn’t. This machine was built for a super soldier. What were you compared to Bucky Barnes?

Brock Rumlow’s haunting laugh started up again in nearby. His hand reached out to press your shoulder back hard against the backrest.

“Don’t worry so much, [Name],” he said. “I might not have the finesse to pick and choose what you forget, but it’ll all be over soon either way. When you wake up, we’ll either be back together or–well, you’ll believe that we are when I tell you. I’ve got big plans for us. Real big plans.”

You opened your mouth to retort. How, you didn’t really know–but any possibility of a retort vanished the very next second. All that came out of your lips was a scream as the surge of electricity from HYDRA’s brainwashing device slammed into your head. You opened your mouth again, and let out another scream. Brock chuckled one last time before he gave your shoulder a final squeeze.

“Welcome back to the dream team, [Name],” he said, but Brock Rumlow had vanished from your thoughts. The whole world had vanished from your thoughts. If you weren’t lucky, neither of them were ever coming back. Everything from there on out was pain and order, order and pain.

[staticscreenwriting]

Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes

One - When Harry met Sally 

Synopsis: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. Growing  up, Bucky had not a doubt in his mind that his undeniable charm and his gorgeous smile would one day help him find the one. Now he realizes there’s so much more to romancing women, especially those from the 21st century. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is not a love story. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for EP1 of TFATWS)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

“ Now in the movies they make it look so perfect And in the background they're always playing the right song And in the ending there's always a resolution But real life is more than just two hours long “

Some Avett Brothers song sounds from the little radio that sits on the corner of the counter. Thick drops of rain pearl against the window, racing each other down the glass before meeting up eventually and becoming one with each other. 

(Y/N) refills the last of the mustard bottles, setting it on the counter next to the others. It’s a quiet night at the diner. The kitchen’s been closed for an hour now and usually, that’s when people stop coming in. While the Little Blue Diner is known for their hot dogs and burgers, neither their coffee nor their cold sandwiches are gonna win any prizes any time soon. 

And yet …

Sure enough, as her eyes lift towards the figure slouched down in the corner booth, his gloved hand is already outstretched, signaling his desire for yet another refill.

A mixture between a chuckle and a scoff tumbles from her lips at the thought of him wanting more of the slightly burned liquid. If there’s one thing (Y/N) can admit to being bad at, it’s brewing coffee. Where there should be a rich brown color, hers usually ends up with an inky black hue and instead of leaving a hint of warm caramelization on your tongue hers just tastes bitter. It doesn’t seem to face the man in the corner though. Not even a little bit. To say this worries her is a bit of an understatement. No one in their right mind would take 7 refills of her witch's brew.

“ You okay, my dude ? “ (Y/N) inquires as she steps up to his table, coffee pot in hand. 

The man doesn’t look up at her. He doesn’t have to. She’s acutely aware of the character currently occupying the corner booth. It’s a face she knows like the back of her hand. One that’s been staring at her from books and documentaries, one she’s been greeted by every time her dad took her with him to the Smithsonian. Though they do not dare look up at her, she’s so awfully familiar with the bright blue shade of his eyes, he might as well be a long-time friend. 

“ I’m fine. “ 

Of all the lies in the world, “I’m fine” must be the most unbelievable one and yet the one told most often. No one who’s actually fine ever says those words. Those two words are reserved for the lonely and broken only. It’s like getting “I’m not fine at all” tattooed across your goddamn forehead. 

“ Sure you are, that’s why you’re having the 7th refill of my god awful coffee. “ 

“ ‘s not that bad. “ 

“ Sure, if you’re into licking charcoal it’s probably not that bad. “

It’s just a split of a second, a fraction of a moment, but (Y/N) is sure she can see the corner of his lips lifting slightly. It falls back into the stoic scowl immediately but it was there. For a teeny tiny moment, there was the shadow of a smirk on his face and that’s a success in her book. 

“ Either way, here’s how we’re gonna do this. I’ll give you one last refill, after that, I’m cutting you off, my friend. I know I’m a waitress and it’s my job to bring you what you want but I do not fancy watching you suffer a caffeine-induced heart attack in this very diner. I am not equipped to handle a situation like that and quite honestly they don’t pay me enough to deal with that either. “ 

His eyes are still trained on the scratched-up white linoleum table but ever so faintly he nods his head in silent agreement. 

As promised, she pours him one last cup of coffee. A brew so dark it could rival the bubbling goo of a tar pit. 

“ Enjoy your last cup of the night, Mr. Barnes. “ 

It’s then, as she’s just about to walk back behind the counter, as those words leave her lips, that he looks up for the first time since he’s walked in. 

His eyes are the exact shade of blue she’s so familiar with but there’s something else about them. An infinite sadness haunts every spec of blue. Where she thought there would be a sparkle of adventure, a hint of mischief, there is just loneliness. This is not the man she’s read about in museums, heard about in stories. This man right here is completely and utterly lost.

“ I - I uh — “ 

He clears his throat, once, twice, then nervously brushes his hand across his face. 

“ I can go if you don’t want me here. “ 

“ Huh? “ 

“ I asked if you want me to leave. “ 

As those words escape him, his eyes seem to grow even more devastated. They glimmer with memories of a time long gone and a future uncertain. Shine with hurt and fear. 

“ Why would I ask you to leave? “ 

Bucky shrugs his shoulders in a way to make it look nonchalantly. It’s hard to seem casual though when you seem to carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulders. 

“ People who recognize me usually aren’t so keen on having me around. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m uh — I’m not people’s favorite person. “ 

It’s a sad thought, (Y/N) realizes, to be constantly bound to a past that is yours but never really belongs to you. To be forever linked with the horrible actions of a version of yourself you had no control over. And no matter how hard you try to set it all right and to repent for your wrongdoings, to some people it will never be enough.

“ No, you don’t have to leave, “ (Y/N) reassures before sliding into the booth opposite him. “ I don’t know you because of — because of what happened. I know you first and foremost as Sergeant Barnes, former officer of the 107th Infantry Regiment, part of the Howling Commandos, and best friend and brother to Steve Rogers. Everything else that’s — none of my business really. “ 

Bucky lifts his eyes off of the table again and while the sadness is still there, something else lingers for a moment. Curiosity, intrigue maybe, or just relief. 

“ Wow. Didn’t think I’d run into someone reciting my life to me. Huh. “ 

“ My dad used to be a curator at the Smithsonian. He was in charge of the Captain America exhibition. I’ve seen your face a million times, visiting him at work. I gotta say though, you look way more approachable and friendly on the picture they put up. “ 

This time, it’s more than a fleeting moment, this time she’s sure about it, this time he lets out an actual chuckle. 

“ I was a lot younger then, okay? Cut an old man some slack. “ 

“ Oh, you pulling the old man card now? “ 

“ Is it working? “ he asks, eyebrows raised in question. 

“ Not really. “ 

“ Ah, what a shame.” 

Silence settles upon them again like a thick duvet filled with feathers, it’s not uncomfortable but it’s smothering anyway.

“ Do you wanna talk about it? Your sour mood, I mean.” 

Bucky shrugs again “I have a therapist.” 

“ Does she make you draw your feelings? “ 

He smiles again at that question. His smile, (Y/N) thinks, ain’t the worst thing she’s ever seen. She wouldn’t mind seeing it more often.

“ No. Why? “ 

“ Mine did. She stopped pretty quickly though, I guess my drawings were too detailed and gory for her.” 

“ Huh. “ 

“ Mmmh.” 

After another sip of coffee, one he takes without grimacing, without showing any sign of disgust for the burnt brew, Bucky speaks up again.

“ Mine thinks I’m lying to her. “ 

“ Are you ?” 

“ Well yeah, but she doesn’t need to know that.” 

“ Maybe telling her the truth would help you. “ (Y/N) suggests only to be met with a determined head shake No from Bucky. 

The notification sound of a phone pulls them from their conversation and at the sight of the name on the display, Bucky lets an “oh shit” slip from his lips.

“ Don’t you sound excited about getting texts from your friends, “ (Y/N) jokes

“ I had a date last night. That’s her. “ 

“ Since she’s texting you I assume it went well. “ 

Bucky grimaces at her words, slightly shaking his head in disagreement.

“ No? “ 

“ I mean, I had fun and it went well — at first. She’s really sweet. But then we started talking and I may have run. “ 

“ Ran where? “ 

“ Away. “ 

“ Away as in you left. “ 

“ Mm-mmh” 

“ Just like that? “ 

“ Yup. “ 

“ Why? “ 

He throws up his arms in frustration and shakes his head again as if to gather all his thoughts and rattle them neatly back into place. 

“ I don’t know, okay? I haven’t been on a date since the 1940s. Everything I know about women and dating and romance seems antiquated. I’m overwhelmed and confused and I just don’t wanna do anything wrong.” 

“ Dude, you ran from your date without any explanation. How much worse could you have handled it? “ 

“ Yeah well, hindsight is 20/20. “ 

While his words try to sound light and nonchalant, his shoulders tense and his whole demeanor seems to shift back into the gloomy state he’s been in since he entered the diner. Like a big cloud that’s following him around, casting shadows at all times and hardly allowing any light to shine through.

“ Look, I don’t think any of us know what the heck we’re doing half the time. Like, trust me I know what I’m talking about. Online dating means I have to choose between men who think posing with a dead fish will make me want to sleep with them, men who think knowing obscure Star Wars facts can replace having an actual personality, and men who send me pictures of their … privates without me ever giving any indication of wanting to see those. So yeah — dating can really s - be frustrating. “ 

Bucky regards her for a second, the right corner of his lips pulled into a lazy lopsided smirk.

“ Did you just censor yourself because you don’t wanna swear around me ?” 

“ Maybe, but that’s beside the point. The point is, we’re all just human and in the end, we’re all just looking for someone to like us the way we are, all quirks and issues and baggage included. I know women might seem intimidating but really all we want is to be loved and appreciated. And not the over-the-top build-you-a-house, the notebook kind of love. More like the Harry and Sally kind.“ 

(Y/N) can almost see the gears working inside Bucky’s brain, the desperate attempt to make any sense of all the words and phrases she’s just thrown at him. A jumbled mess of pop culture references swirls through his head like a swarm of bees, chaotic and messy. 

“ I have no idea what you just said. “ 

“ When Harry met Sally? “

Bucky just shrugs and shakes his head.

“ You’ve never seen it? “ 

“ I’ve been a bit preoccupied with being blipped away into oblivion for the last 5 years. So I haven’t really had the time to get into movies yet. “ 

This time it’s the gears in her own head that start turning. 

“ What are you doing Friday night ? “ she asks, biting her lip in nervous anticipation.

“ I — I don’t know. “ 

That’s a bit of a lie, really. He does know. It’s the same thing he does pretty much every other day. He gets some takeout, brings it home, sits down in front of the tv, tries to get lost in whatever show they put on, fails at doing so, reads a few pages of a book, lays down to sleep, and then wakes up a little while later to yet another nightmare, tangled up in sweaty sheets, heart racing. 

(Y/N) doesn’t need to know any of that though. He doesn’t tell his therapist so why would he tell a random stranger.

“ Well, don’t make any plans. We’re gonna kill 2 birds with 1 stone. “ 

“ We are? “ 

“ Yeah. Trust me on this one. “ 

“ I don’t even know you. “ 

“ Sure you do. “ (Y/N) says and taps the tag pinned to her baby blue polo shirt with the diner’s logo on the back.  “ I’m the one who serves you just enough coffee to keep you happy but not have you die a painful and honestly mildly embarrassing death. “ 

Every part of him screams at him to say no. To stay away from her the way he does from most other people, even Sam. To get up and get out and not cause any more damage than he already has in other people’s life. But then he remembers his therapist's words, he remembers Leah’s face full of confusion and disappointment, he remembers the empty feeling in his chest. That feeling of pure and utter loneliness. 

“ Alright, Friday works for me, (Y/N). “ 

“ Perfect, Bucky. “ 

“ Bring a jacket. “ 

The address and “Bring a jacket” that’s all she’s texted him. No explanation, no plan, nothing. 

Bucks leans against the streetlamp, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his leather jacket. Anxiety is washing through his system like tidal waves on a stormy ocean. This whole being spontaneous thing was much easier back in the 40s. When his shoulders weren’t so heavy with guilt. When he didn’t have to constantly face the consequences of his actions. Consequences of a past he can never quite outrun no matter how far he goes and how hard he tries. 

Maybe this is good, he has to remind himself. Getting out of his comfort zone, if that even exists for him. Opening himself up to new opportunities. Maybe even make a friend. (Y/N) seem nice enough, if a bit peculiar. 

His shrink would be proud of him. Getting out there, talking to people, being approachable. This must for sure earn him some kind of gold star equivalent in her notebook. 

“ Hey there, Mr. Grumpyface. “ 

(Y/N)'s voice cuts through the chilly New York night like headlights through thick fog. She strolls towards him, lips pulled into a big bright smile. Leading up to tonight he’s spent quite a lot of time wondering if this is some kind of project for her, if maybe she sees him as a sort of charity case. Something to earn her karma points. It wouldn’t be the first time. But the genuine joy radiating from her face lets those worries melt away instantly. 

Maybe, Bucky thinks, she really just thinks he’ll make a good friend. And maybe he can. 

“ Hi, (Y/N). “

“ You brought a jacket” she points out, pinching the black leather between her fingers. Her nails are painted in various shades of red, each finger a different hue. 

“ I did. You told me to. “

“ And you listened! “ 

“ Why wouldn’t I ? “ Bucky inquires, a look of confusion settling on his face.

“ You wouldn’t believe how many men think wearing a jacket when it’s cold out somehow clashes with their need to demonstrate their masculinity. “ 

“ Wow. “ he exclaims.

“ Yeah. So anyway, you ready to go up? “ 

She nods her head towards the house across the street. It’s a slim multiple-story brick building with rusty fire escapes. It looks like a residential lot, not much else that could give away (Y/N)’s plan for the rest of the night.

“ Up? “ 

“ Mm-mh. “ (Y/N) nods and motions towards the top of the building. “ to the roof. “ 

“ The roof? You’re not planning to push me off or anything, right? I don’t usually spend time with strangers on rooftops. “ he tells her, a smirk lifting the sides of his lips.

She grants him a smile in return. One of those that you try so hard to suppress but despite your best efforts they find their way onto your face anyway. Because some smiles demand to be smiled. And her smile is pretty cute, he thinks, it deserves to be seen. 

“ Foiled again, damn Bucky. I’m a waitress with a useless degree in literature and creative writing but assassinating you was exactly what I had planned for tonight. Couldn’t let me have that one, huh? “ 

“ Sorry to spoil all the fun. “ 

She softly bumps her shoulder against his right side as she passes him and crosses the street. Her red skirt flutters around her knees like a ribbon of fire, bright and warm and —

“ You coming, grumpy ?” 

“ Yeah uh — yeah sure. “ 

The walk upstairs is filled with chatter from her and nodding from Bucky. It’s been like this most of the time since — well since he’s really back. Other people usually do the talking and Bucky listens. It works most of the time. Works with Yori. Sometimes though, sometimes it doesn’t. He can see people getting frustrated with him. Hell his own therapist does and she knows the baggage he has to carry around. 

This is different though, (Y/N) doesn’t seem to mind much. She’s a waterfall of words and topics and doesn’t seem to get bored or annoyed with him. It’s nice. 

A heavy iron door swings open as they reach the top of the building and as soon as they step out onto the rooftop balcony they get engulfed in an ocean of lights. They’re strung from one end of the roof to the other and back again. Next to the door, a little makeshift bar is set up, and a guy in a Star Wars shirt hands out beers to people. 

Multicolored deck chairs and beanbags are haphazardly placed across the entire roof, all pointing towards the corner furthest away from the door where a big white sheet hangs spanned between two poles. 

“ Sooo you gonna tell me what we’re doing here? “ Bucky asks again as (Y/N) steers him towards a cluster of chairs in the back. 

“ Some peeps I went to university with, set up movie screenings here every once in a while. I could pull some strings and got to choose the movie. “ 

“ We’re gonna watch a movie? “ 

“ Not just any movie, “ she exclaims and drops down onto one of the plastic deck chairs that looks like it used to be bright pink once but is now but a bleached blush colour from being exposed to the sun too much. “ We’re watching when Harry met Sally. “ 

Bucky slumps down on the chair next to her, a blue one with white daisy patterns. 

“ Me not knowing this movie really does bother you, huh? “ 

“ It’s a classic, might as well start with this one. And anyway, maybe this can help you get back into the dating game. Ya know, help you understand modern romance. “

“ You think so? “ 

She shrugs and starts fumbling around in her bag, “ I dunno. It might. And if it doesn’t at least you’ll spend your time watching a good movie and get to experience the blessing of my company. Ah-ha! There you go “ 

Her hand reaches out holding a bag of M&Ms.

“ I brought snacks. “ 

More and more people start occupying the chairs and bean bags and a few minutes later a guy steps up in front of the sheet. He’s wearing a shirt with a black and white bird pattern, huge glasses with a brown frame, and jeans that don’t cover his ankles. He’s tall and lanky and his hair is so messy, Bucky wonders if it’s intentional or if he just hasn’t brushed it in a while. 

“ Hi guys, I’m Andrew. For those of you who don’t know me, I live in apartment 2B and I just wanna say thank you for showing up and welcome you to our movie night under the stars. A few days ago we received a special request from one of our good friends and because she let me stay on her couch for several months back during our college days and I still owe her for that I couldn’t reject her request. So thanks to Miss (Y/N) over there in the pink chair you now get to spend the next 90 minutes watching Meg Ryan fall in love with Mike Wazowski. Enjoy. “ 

As he steps away from the sheet, the lights are turned off and the MGM logo pops up on the screen. 

“ Trust me, Bucky. This one’s so good.” (Y/N) assures before throwing some M&Ms into her mouth, now entirely focused on the movie.

It takes a while for Bucky to relax. Being around so many people and not having any fear of what’s lurking around the corner is still very new. Letting go is never as easy as it sounds. Eventually though, his nerves settle down a little and as the movie progresses, he finds himself relaxing more and more. Something he hasn’t done in a long time. Not since Wakanda.

Exactly 46 minutes into the movie, (Y/N) lets her eyes wander to her left where Bucky, until now, sat slumped into his seat. Still perpetually grumpy but more chilled out and relaxed than she’s seen him before. Until now. A moaning Meg Ryan visible making him uncomfortable.

“ You okay, grumpy? “ 

He doesn’t grant her a real answer, just scoffs and rolls his eyes. There’s a smile though, she’s sure. Somewhere hidden there is another smile. 

“ So, what did we learn today? “ 

Bucky looks at (Y/N) who has her arms wrapped tightly around her middle shielding herself from the chilly night air. The movie night has ended a while ago and the two of them are slowly strolling along the New York City streets on the way back to (Y/N)’s apartment. 

“ To take your own advice and dress warmer for a movie night? “ 

(Y/N) chuckles. “ No, grumpy. I meant the movie. “ 

He shrugs at her question. Quite honestly he hasn’t learned anything new. Nothing about the movie seemed in any way revolutionary to him nor does he see any benefit for himself and his dating life going forward. But the way she looks at him right now, expecting something grand not from him really but some beautiful consequences to her ideas, that makes him reconsider. Sure he could tell her that it was just a silly little movie about people falling in love but that would no doubt hurt her, even a tiny little bit. And if there’s anything Bucky has enough of, it’s hurting others. 

“ I guess that men and women really can not be friends. “ 

“ Noooo! No. Is that really what you took from this movie? “ 

“ That’s literally what happened. “ 

“ Okay first of all it works, look at us! We’re friends! Second of all, that’s not what the movie is really about. It’s about love and vulnerability. It’s about overcoming all the tiny things that can work against you and your relationship. Like distance and timing and egotism. It’s about hiding who you are because really opening up to someone, being your authentic true self with all your faults and imperfections, that makes you vulnerable. And being vulnerable is fucking scary. But love is worth it anyway. That’s what the movie is about. “

As Bucky noticed before, some smiles demand to be smiled. They need to be smiled because they’re important and they mean something. The one gracing his face now, that’s one of those. One of those you remember because you feel them all the way in your heart.

“ You think we’re friends? “ 

“ Oh, are we — are we not? “ 

“ No. I — no, we are! I’d like to be friends. “ 

(Y/N) abruptly stops in her tracks, turns towards him, and holds out her hand. “ To friendship.” 

“ We’re shaking hands on it? What is this, a business deal? “ 

“ You know what, yeah now that you mention it that’s pretty lame. “ (Y/N) agrees, balling her hand into a fist “ how about a fist bump, bro? “ 

Bucky reluctantly knocks his right hand against hers before continuing his walk down the street. “You call me bro again I’m canceling the friendship. “ 

“ Alright. Noted. “ 

“ So have you talked to the girl again? “ 

“ Hmm? “ 

“ The one you went on a date with? “ 

“ Oh, Leah. Uh — no.” 

“ Why not? “ 

Bucky throws her a look. One that says “are you kidding me?”. One that says “ you know why.” 

“ Cause I ran out. That’s embarrassing. She’s gonna think I’m insane. She’s never gonna wanna see me again. “ 

“ I sincerely doubt that. You just gotta say sorry. I know in Love Story — that’s a novel and also a movie from the 70s — they say that ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry but that’s a load of bull. Just say sorry and ask her for a do-over. “ 

“ And then what? We play a rematch of battleships and talk about my trauma? “ 

“ Well, what did you do on dates in the 40s? “ 

That time, his youth, that seems like a different life altogether now. So much happened between then and now and the man he is now, has no relation to the boy he was then. Sometimes looking back hurts, makes it painfully obvious what he’s lost. But sometimes, like tonight, he can feel a hint of fondness coursing through him at the thought of times long gone.

“ Dancing, mostly.” 

“ Like, ballroom dancing? “ 

“ Swing. “ 

“ You swing dance? “ 

“ I did. “ 

(Y/N) regards him through squinted eyes “ really? “ 

“ You don’t believe me? “

“ I don’t know. You don’t strike me as a dancer. “ 

Not a second later, Bucky’s gloved hand grabs onto her’s and twirls her towards him then away from him and back in. 

“ You twirled me! “ 

“ Mm-mh.”

“ I’ve never been twirled. That’s so fun. “ 

It’s like autopilot taking over as Bucky holds onto her, twirling her again then pulling her in and swaying them in a circle. It’s not swing dancing, not even close but there’s no music either, and anyway, his dancing days are over. But sometimes you gotta make a point and if that means slow dancing in the middle of an empty street then that’s that. 

The night wraps them in a blanket of comfort and intimacy as the stars and the New York skyline try to outshine each other. It’s a moment so peaceful, Bucky can’t remember the last time his heart felt so light, his mind felt so at ease, his entire being got to let go and just be alive and in the moment.

And then the shine of headlights rips them from their moment and makes them jump back onto the sidewalk. 

“ Get off the road you fucking morons! “ 

“ Gotta love the big city folk. “ 

“ Yup. “ 

“ Hey, Bucky.” 

“ What? “ 

“ You really can dance.” 

“ Told you. “ 

“ Can I tell you a secret? “ 

“ Sure. “ 

“ I can’t dance for shit. “ 

“ That so? “

“ Yup. Which means you gotta teach me. “ 

“ Absolutely not.” 

“ Oh, 100%! “ 

“ We’ll see about that.” 

There are nights you try to forget. Nights that you wish to never ever remember. Ones that break you. That beat you down and leave you bruised and battered.

Then there are nights like this one that you want to hold onto for just a little bit longer. Those that fill you with joy and an immeasurable thirst for life. The ones that make you feel grateful to be alive right here and now. 

The inevitable end of the night creeps closer as they arrive at (Y/N)’s front door. Neither of them really want to say goodnight but both know there’s no use in delaying it.

“ I hope you didn’t hate the movie too much, “ (Y/N) speaks up, leaning against the front door of her apartment complex.

“ No. It was fun! Although I still don’t know who Mike Wazulsky is. “ 

“ Mike Wazowski, he’s — you know what? That’s a conversation for another time. “ 

“ Alright, if you say so. “ 

“ Thanks for walking me home. “ 

“ Oh, yeah no need to thank me. It’s the right thing to do. “ 

For a moment they just stand and smile, trying to cherish the last few moments of this night. 

“ We should do this more often. “ Bucky suggests, surprising even himself.

“ For sure. I still have so many movies to show you. “ 

“ Can’t wait. “ 

A slight sense of awkwardness falls over them as neither of them knows what to do. Go for a hug? Shakes hands? Wave goodbye? 

“ I uh — I should go. “ 

“ Yeah, of course. Have a good night, Bucky.” 

“ You too, (Y/N).” 

“ Oh and Bucky? “ 

“ Yes? “ 

“ Give Leah a call. “ 

Bucky nods his head before turning around and walking back into the night.

As he takes the way back to his own home, there are only two things on Bucky’s mind: the vulnerability of falling in love and the question of who the hell Mike Wazowski was. 

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Babysitter

Pairing: Yandere!Atsumu/Reader & Yandere!Kita/Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Synopsis: You don’t like Atsumu at the best of times. When he has to go out of town and you’re shoved into the arms of a man as ruthless as your captor and only half as loving, you find out you like his friends even less.

TW: Non-Con, AFAB!Reader, Infantilization, Graphic Violence, Water-Boarding, Drowning, Implied Kidnapping, Mentions of Past Non-Con, Bondage, and Troubling Implications.

The water was too hot.

There’d still been steam rising off the surface when Kita called you into the bathroom, barely sparing you a second glance before telling you to strip. Atsumu preferred cold showers. Utilitarian, freezing, and more often than not, rushed though when he was already late for practice or dead-tired, barely dragging himself through the end of a long day. Sometimes, when he had time to catch his breath, he’d throw you over his shoulder and force you to tolerate the frigid temperatures he preferred. Those were the worst days, when you had to huddle against his chest and let him hold you just to fight off the urge to shudder, to shiver, to give him an excuse to think of you as any more weak and any more needy than you usually were. He’d laugh and call you sensitive, and if he really wasn’t in a rush, he’d offer to warm you up. ‘Offer’ might’ve been the wrong word for it, actually. That’d imply you could refuse, and you knew better than to try anything that out-right, by now.

“I can take care of myself,” You’d said, lingering in the doorway, hoping beyond hope that he’d leave. “‘tsumu doesn’t mind, when I do.”

“Miya’s not here,” He’d responded, never looking towards you. “Get in.”

So you had, lowering yourself into the scalping water with a white-knuckle grip on the edge of the tub and a small, almost inaudible hiss. It should’ve come as a relief to feel warm, after so many weeks spent in Atsumu’s pervasive chill, but whatever comforting effect it might’ve had was negated by Kita’s stare, the feeling of his eyes prying into you, the way he touched you so casually as he rubbed body wash into your shoulders and combed his fingers through your hair, after slapping away your hand when you tried to reach for the bottle yourself.

That was what bothered you the most about Kita. This wasn’t Atsumu’s first away-game, and he’d left you alone for far longer than a week before, but it’d always been his twin watching over you. Osamu’s approach was hands-off, at best. He’d come over for an hour every night, make sure you still had food and that you hadn’t found a way to break through the half-dozen locks on every exit, then he’d leave, rarely saying so much as a word in your direction. It was simple. It was quiet. You could tell yourself he only did it because he as Atsumu’s twin, because they were family, and you were just some stranger who’d been too stubborn to give Atsumu what he wanted and too stupid to keep him any further than arm’s length.

Kita didn’t have the same excuse. Kita was an old friend, but just a friend. He should’ve called the police. He should’ve been disgusted when he saw the tattered state of your thighs, when he let himself acknowledge the trail of bruises Atsumu’d carved along your collarbone before he left. He should’ve done something, anything other than stare at you with that neutral, impassive expression and nod, as Atsumu chuckled and told him to take good care of you. It made you think about what Atsumu’s other friends must’ve been like.

It made you wonder how open he’d be to sharing, if one ever brought it up.

Just the thought had you curling into yourself, pulling your knees to your chest as Kita straightened his back, pushing himself to his feet. “I haven’t seen your room,” He started, pulling a towel off the nearest rack. There was a slight wave, a signal for you to stand, and hesitantly, you obeyed, crossing your arms over your chest. “What do you usually wear to bed?”

That was a good sign. A blessing, really, in the scope of things. You didn’t have to tell him about the lingerie, or the jerseys, or the nights where Atsumu decided you were being ungrateful and didn’t deserve to sleep in anything but the thinnest sheet he could find. “I… I don’t really have anything,” You managed, focusing on the cloudy water, soap suds still gathering around your legs. “He’s not really big on routine, you know? I can pick something out for myself.”

You cringed as he raised a brow. “Do you actually think I’m going to buy that?”

“Well...“ You had to remind yourself to smile, to stay on his good side. You didn’t know why he was doing this. There was still a chance he saw you as a person, and you couldn’t afford to ruin that. “I’m really, really hoping you will.”

There was a breath of a laugh, something between a smirk and a grimace, and without further indulgence, Kita took you by the arm, forcing you to stumble out of the tub entirely as he reached towards something on the other side of the bathroom, a plastic bag with a non-descript logo. You hadn’t noticed it before, not when every room in Atsumu’s apartment was just big enough to be disorienting, but you recognized the panic the moment it came flooding in, the anxiety that came with being at the mercy of someone you’d known for less than a day, someone you were sure you couldn’t trust. When the grey plastic fell away and something pink and sheer emerged, that sourceless dread was swiftly replaced with founded, familiar fear.

It was gratifying, in a way. A suspicion confirmed. A question answered.

That’s why he was here.

The bathroom door wasn’t locked. You’d checked once, when you first came in and again, during your bath. Kita was bigger than you, but you tried to dart past him anyway, aiming to catch him off-guard and lock yourself away somewhere dark and safe before he realized you’d ran for it. Your rebellion was short-lived, though. All Kita had to do was reach out, catching you by the waist and pulling you into his side, ignoring your efforts to claw at his forearm as he used his other hand to pull out whatever abomination he wanted you to wear. It looked like a nightgown, from what you could see, soft and pink with a white bow positioned at the dip of the collar and lace gathered around the hems. Something made for someone who wanted to feel helpless. Something made for a child.

“Miya said you were moody. You looked sweet, though, so I didn’t want to take him seriously.” The dress was slung over his shoulder, the plastic bag forgotten on the countertop, and you were left to scratch and scream and struggle, your efforts earning an annoyed grunt in return. If anything, he only dragged you closer, pulling your back against his chest as he went on. “Quit it. This is supposed to be simple, but you’re being difficult.”

“Fuck off!” It was the kind of blunt, blatant thing that’d make Atsumu roll his eyes and leave you alone, but Kita didn’t drop you, only gritting his teeth as you continued to seethe. “I should’ve known he’d invite one of his fucked up friends over,” You snapped, Kita’s arm beginning to dig into your stomach. He was stronger than he looked, but you were used to that, by now. You had to be, with a captor like yours. “I’m not wearing anything for you. I don’t care what Atsumu said, I’m not a fucking doll--”

Finally, he let you go, but you barely had time to catch yourself before his hand was on your shoulder, shoving you onto your knees and sending a sudden, shuddering crack, making you wince before he’d even tightened his grip. You managed to shut your eyes, to muffle a shriek into a low, pained growl, but if Kita was trying not to hurt you, it would’ve been impossible to tell. He didn’t hesitate to tangle his fingers in your hair, forcing you to keep your posture straight and your chest against something cool and porcelain - the edge of the tub, you realized, a second too late. Reflexively, you reached out to support yourself, but your wrists were already restrained, pressed into the small of your back with a strict severity. With the apathetic sternness of a guard restraining a prisoner, while the executioner loaded his gun.

You heard it before you felt it. There was a splash, the sound of water hitting tile, and then you felt it dripping down your chest, still too hot not to jerk away from. Cold acrylic bit into your chest, and all too abruptly, your head was submerged, forced just deep enough to let the air escape from your lungs when you instinctually tries to scream, just deep enough to make all your fighting useless. Atsumu’d never done this, before. He’d lost his temper plenty of times, caught you trying to use his phone or sneak a note into the pocket of his jacket and made sure you had the scars to pay for it by the next day, but he wasn’t creative, he wasn’t composed. Kita’s resolve didn’t waver. When you started to go limp, your vision dimming at the corners and your mind doing everything in its power to convince you to breathe, he didn’t even flinch. He didn’t move, not until you were genuinely slumping forward, not until you were convinced you were going to die, and he was going to be the one to kill you.

You were shaking, when he finally pulled you up, trembling so violently, you almost thought Kita might be concerned. He might’ve been. He let you gasp for air until your lungs stopped throbbing in your chest and your pulse began to slow, but that was where his kindness seemed to end. “Want to try that again?” It was a question, but your answer was lost somewhere beneath a blend of panting, blood rushing past your ears, and Kita’s tone, so calm, so measured. It made you sick. “I brought you a gift. What do we say when someone is nice enough to bring us presents?”

It took you a second to remember how to open your mouth. It took you another to realize you actually needed to speak. “I… I d-don’t--” You had to stop. Your voice was weak, as uneven as the hasty breaths you were still trying to rush. If you’d been more aware, you would’ve just told him what he wanted to hear, but your skull was stuffed with cotton and your tongue felt too heavy to lie with. “It isn’t… It’s not my gift if you’re the one having fun.”

To his credit, Kita didn’t try to deny it. He only forced your head back down, and you lost your chance to sputter out an apology.

You couldn’t be sure how long it lasted. You lost the ability to tell time after he pulled you back up, barely allowing half a hitched sob before deciding you hadn’t learned your lesson quite yet. It was a cycle - a relentless, constant, agonizing cycle, one that left you begging away what little oxygen you could’ve retained, muttering incoherent pleas into uncaring water, dripping with sweat and tears and blood, from where his nails cut into your scalp every time you tried to squirm. By the time he stopped, actually stopped, the process had sapped your energy, your strength, leaving you frail and malleable and unable to do so much as get up, when Kita let go of your wrists. All you could do was cross your arms over the wall of the bathtub, burying your face in the self-made nest. Part of you hoped you would make it just a little harder to tell you were crying, that it’d make it just a little easier to meet his eyes tomorrow. The rest of you just wanted this to be over.

Kita didn’t seem to like that idea as much as you did, unfortunately.

“See? It’s not that hard to behave.” You felt him tap your cheek in approval before he shifted, moving behind you. There was a rustle of fabric, a foot between your knees, edging your legs apart. You hesitated, but you relented. You couldn’t fight back, not like this, and running wouldn’t work. All you could do was hope and pray he’d be satisfied with the dress.

Luckily, he was kind enough to smother that delusion before you could really put your faith in it.

“Has Miya fucked you, yet?”

You stiffened, but you managed to shake your head. It was a pathetic lie, an obvious lie, but Kita only clicked his tongue, moving to crouch behind you. For a moment, you almost wished he’d taken the time to dress you, to put you in something pastel and immature that might’ve served as a barrier between you and him, however flimsy. But, then you imagined what it’d feel like to have that soft fabric pooling around your waist, where his touch might drift as he pushed the skirt out of the way, and you decided there wasn’t a better option. You were already on display for him. It couldn’t get worse. It couldn’t get worse.

That’s what you thought, at least, before his hand wrapped around your thigh, keeping you still as his fingers swiped over your cunt, barely bothering to play with the idea of decency. “You should be honest with me,” He explained, half-heartedly. Still dedicated to lecturing you, but distracted, now, his mind having moved on to other, less-verbal form of punishment. “But… your boyfriend probably wouldn’t like it if I gave you something to whine about when he came back. We’ll compromise.”

You were beginning to see why he and Atsumu got along so well.

The shame was more potent than the pleasure, at first. It was a gnawing anxiety, a constant spark that kept your nerves on-edge and your senses unpleasantly alert, only made worse by the moan you had to fight back as he moved to your clit, two fingers drawing harsh, practiced circles into every sensitive spot you didn’t want him to find.

His fingers were calloused. You noticed his palm was, too, as he tightened his hold on the flesh of your thigh, holding you up in spite of your shaking legs, but it was different from the harshness Atsumu tried so hard to fight off, tried so hard to mask with soft words and praises and the stubborn belief that you could enjoy it, if you let yourself. Kita didn’t seem to care. He did whatever he had to, whatever turned breath sobs into little, pitiful whines. Whatever dampened the shame and replaced it with guilty satisfaction, with the admission that this wasn’t nearly as bad as what he’d already done. Whatever made your pussy drool, the slick soon building up and staining his fingers and becoming impossible to ignore. For you and for Kita, both.

He let out a low, long whistle as he slipped his ring finger into you, your cunt sloppy enough to make the stretch tolerable. To yourself, you wondered if he’d planned this, if he’d accepted Atsumu’s invitation and walked through that door knowing he was going to, or if your misbehavior had just been his lucky break. It felt planned. Everything he did felt planned, from the way he hardly waited for you to adjust before forcing another finger in, alongside the first, to how slow his pace was, any decent rhythm interrupted by pauses and twists and curls that left you arching your back and crying out, despite your attempts to muffle the sound. You almost thought about telling him to stop, but as soon as you opened your eyes, as soon as you saw the water that was still so close and must’ve been so cold, the air hitched in your throat and any denial was choked down, replaced with a more agreeable keen.

Kita seemed satisfied with your wordless submission. Finally, he fell into a decent tempo, letting you slump against the short wall and let waves of content warmth roll over you with every stroke of his fingers. “It’s easier this way, yeah?” He asked, his free hand moving towards your hip, rubbing gently as you failed to fight back. Rewarding you for good behavior. “Never thought I’d feel bad for the jerk, but he told me what you used to be like, how determined you are not to change. It’s a shame,” He rambled, his tone growing more affectionate as you bucked into his hand, letting him grind against the soft, spongey spot that had you seeing stars. You didn’t try to stop yourself from mewling as he pushed another finger into you, you didn’t want to try. Kita didn’t want you to, either. “If I took you home, you would’ve been good for me, right? Miya doesn’t know how to treat sweet, emotional little things like you.”

You might’ve nodded. You might’ve denied it. You might’ve offered no reaction at all, because by now, you were too busy chasing after that feeling, that high, the bait he’d been kind enough to kick just within your reach. Your knees buckled under the pressure, your legs finally giving in, but Kita was there to catch you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he coaxed you closer and closer and closer. You could feel yourself clenching down around him, and for once, you didn’t care about how embarrassing it’d be, you didn’t care that you were a prisoner of someone who’d once sworn up and down that he loved you - you didn’t care. You deserved this. You deserved to feel good. You deserved it, and…

And you weren’t going to get it.

Kita pulled away suddenly, leaving you whimpering and grinding against his palm as he chuckled, the sound throaty, careless, sobering. You didn’t want him to see your expression, the sincerity of it, the genuine hurt. As soon as he pulled you into his chest, one arm hooked under your knees and the other supporting your back, your face was buried in the crook of his neck, keeping you hidden away and safe, even if you were still in the arms of your temporary captor. If Kita minded, he didn’t make a show of it. He was grinning as he kissed the top of your head, and when he spoke, it was barely audible, but clearly happy. ‘Pleased’ might’ve been a better word for it, but you tried not to think about that. “Needy little thing,” He muttered, more for himself than for you. “Try not to get too mad at me, (Y/n).”

This time, when he reached for the nightgown, you didn’t try to run.

“We still have all week to ourselves.”

~

The house was quiet, when Atsumu got home.

It was almost unsettling, honestly. He’d gotten used to hushed cursing and metallic clicking, to scraped glass and you, smiling innocently, trying and failing to hide a paring knife behind your back. It was a routine, and the moment it was broken, the moment he undid the deadbolts on his apartment door and didn’t find you trying to pick the wrong lock on the other side, he couldn’t help but stop, close his eyes, and appreciate it. Just for a second. Just long enough to entertain the thought that Kita might’ve managed to train the brat out of you.

This peace was shattered by light footsteps, a mug settling onto a marble counter. “You’re early,” Kita said, by way of greeting. “I didn’t think you’d be back for another day.”

“Caught a flight,” He shrugged, dropping the dufflebag slung over his shoulder next to the door. Even if it’d been Osamu, he would’ve hesitated to spill his guts about how little he’d slept, how many times he’d thought about calling, how the anxiety ate away at his gut and his mind until it was all he could to do remember that he would come home, eventually, and you’d be waiting for him. You’d always be waiting for him. He’d made sure of that, after you made it clear how little interest you had in waiting for just him. “There somethin’ wrong with that, ‘suke? A man can’t be dyin’ to see his sweetheart?”

He was given a scoff, but Kita was already smiling, turning on his heel and waving for Atsumu to follow. That’s when he noticed the buzzing - light, at first, but it got louder as Kita led him towards your bedroom, more unignorable until they were outside your door and Atsumu could hear it clearly, a constant, electrical drum. He almost asked, but the door was already opening, and whatever he might’ve said instantly faded into a small, surprised ‘oh’.

The dress was a nice touch. Mint green, the kind of shade that might’ve passed as white in sunlight, with sleeves that clung to your arms and a neckline so high, he almost couldn’t make out the collar beneath, pink and lacy and adorned with a small, sweet bell that chimed every time you took a decent breath. Your socks, a complementary shade of grey, managed to reach your thighs before they tapered off, or… one of them did, at least, the other hastily wrapped around your ankles, keeping your legs clamped together as you laid on your side. Your wrists were bound, too, tied behind your back with the same pale fabric Kita’d used to cover your eyes and stuff into your mouth, keeping you quiet despite the little whines and whimpers he was starting to make out. The skirt was hiked up to your waist, wrinkled and folded underneath you, but Atsumu couldn’t complain, not when it gave him a perfect view of your soak panties, of the vibrating wand pressed against your cunt so snugly, you’d be able to convulse and writhe and complain all you wanted and it wouldn’t move an inch. Not until you were feeling more considerate of your boyfriend’s feelings

Fuck.

He was almost mad he didn’t think of that, first.

He didn’t say anything, stepping towards you with an expression of astonished, dumb-struck elation still painted across his face, but Kita was kind enough to take up the mantle. “Someone got a little overwhelmed while we were playing dress-up,” He explained, watching as Atsumu switched off the vibrator, spurring you to let out a relieved, cracked sigh. The restraints were next, your ankles before your wrists, then your blindfold, Kita’s makeshift rope left forgotten on your bed. You blinked a few times, but after your confusion faltered and reality began to settle in, your eyes darted towards Atsumu. Finally, finally, you wrapped your arms around him, using what was left of your energy to cling to him, to bury your face in his chest and refuse to let go. It was all he could do to laugh, to pull you into his lap and cup your chin, using his thumb to wipe away tears and drool and the other remnants of Kita’s work. You were still shaking, still twitching violently, but Atsumu couldn’t bring himself to be mad. Not at this. Not at you.

“I thought a couple hours in timeout might help,” Kita finished, as deadpan as ever. “It usually tires ‘em out, if the setting’s high enough.”

If you were going to defend yourself, you didn’t make a move to. All your attention was on Atsumu, just like it should be. “Please,” You mumbled, your voice heavy, your words slurring together. “Please, don’t leave again.”

“I missed you too, angel.” Despite his sympathetic tone, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling, from nodding towards Kita, still standing in the threshold, a satisfied grin pulling at the edges of his lips. Atsumu couldn’t blame him. He’d been skeptical, when Kita offered his all-too-needed services, but clearly, whatever lesson he’d beaten into your head had stuck.

He’d have to let Kita babysit again, next time he went away.

[xhanisai]

Confront the boundary line of good and evil in my heart

AO3 / FFN

Summary: 

It wasn't her fault! No way whatsoever! But still... Still... 'It really does hurt so bad...so much, I can't take it!'

~(x)~ . . . Tick. Tock. "I'm so sorry Chat Noir! I didn't mean to- I just- I just completely broke down and she was right there and I needed someone-" "It's okay, Bug. I understand, don't apologise," Tick. Tock. "It's not okay at all! You've wanted to know for so long, so patiently and I have always said no- and then look at me now! A hypocrite! This is probably a huge sucker-punch for you and I hate that I've always kept on hurting you back then but now, this takes the cake-" "N-No, I'm fine, honest...really. What matters is your happiness and wellbeing-" "But what about you!?" "..." Tick- "...Kid, talk to me, please. The way you're staring out into space is scaring me." The subdued, raspy voice belonging to the ancient being of destruction went unheard. The boy in question continued to observe the empty space in front, sitting on top of his bed with his knees tucked under his chin and his arms folded in front, hiding the lower half of his face. If one were to enter the room, they would instantly freeze from the glower of the boy's fiery emerald greens that were begging to pool with unshed tears and the aura of his stone-cold demeanour. From the waft of his internal turmoil, even a blind person would be able to pick up that he was currently the host of bad luck. "...Adrien...I want to help, I want to understand, so talk to me!" Once again, Plagg was left ignored, leaving him no choice but to float back down to his pillow and direct his pleading kitten eyes at the blonde, his tiny heart shattered from the state of his chosen. Alas, even he was helpless, his feline ears and whiskers drooping with sorrow. 'But you won't understand. You never did and you never will. No one will ever understand.' Adrien didn't even flinch, didn't even bat an eye. He was a statue of apathy and aloofness; though deep down inside, he was a maelstrom of agonising pain. Oh, so much pain. It was excruciating. He wanted to suit up and claw through the rooves of Paris whilst screaming in anguish. He wanted to find every billboard that had his face on it and tear through it all like paper. He wanted to shred and pulverise his useless, traitorous heart along with its despicable feelings and emotions. But most importantly, he wanted to rip the magical ring off his finger and throw it into La Seine with all his might and then cry for the rest of eternity. And he hates that he feels that way. Absolutely, ridiculously, hates that he feels betrayed. Self-loathing and disgust have taken over his body like a puppet and rendered him completely useless, like a toy forgotten at the bottom of the box, never to see the light of day ever again. The feeling of uselessness and pure shame replaced the blood running through his veins and numbed him to the point where he was equivalent to a powerless machine. He felt his throbbing heart fall deeper and deeper into the pit of his stomach. It wasn't her fault! No way whatsoever! But still... Still... 'It really does hurt so bad...so much, I can't take it!' The younger, softer, naive part of himself which was usually tucked away within the dark, hidden crevices of his heart, screamed as if the rest of humanity's lives depended on it. It was taking Adrien everything to keep him out. 'Is it too much to ask for only one constant in my life? Is it too much to ask for one thing to remain the same? Is it too much for anyone to stop keeping me at arm's length!?' . It is. . It is. . Deep down inside, below the platinum chains and iron bars of solid, concrete denial, he always knew that Ladybug never considered him as close as he did with her. And why should she? Just because he performed an act of common, proper human decency and helped an old man get his walking stick back? Just because he was gifted with the power to destroy anything he touches in order to save the day? Just because he knew how to fight possessed villains alongside her? Just because he's in love with her? . "I'm literally the worst." Adrien finally spoke out loud ever since he returned from...that patrol many hours ago. Despite his words, his soul couldn't help but weep and pray that it was all one huge, cruel nightmare. A twisted, sick joke that whatever deities out there have concocted up just for him. Anything! Yet, this was his reality. "I disagree." The boy snapped his gaze towards the kwami, his brows furrowing for elaboration on the little God's part. "I may not be human but I do have feelings and I can empathise. I've existed from the beginning of time and I've witnessed many, many things in my lifetime." Plagg then floated towards him, settling on Adrien's arm so that he was face to face. "You're not in the wrong here, kid. It's okay to feel like this-" "No, it's not!" Adrien's sudden outburst had the kwami shoot away in surprise, the boy instantly turning baffled at his own harsh reaction and then visibly paling even further. He caught sight of his own reflection on a nearby mirror, cringing at the monstrous mess that looked back. With a frustrated sigh, he leapt off the bed, solemnly treading towards his windows, fingers digging into his upper arms as if he was hugging himself. . The luminous moon that shone through the night sky, what was once a beacon of freedom in the past, never looked so unappealing to the distraught hero. His usually glittering eyes were vacant, devoid of any joy and hope whilst his lips were etched in a permanent frown. How many fake smiles and empty words of wisdom did he force out in front of his Lady earlier on? He's lost count. And how many more times will he have to keep doing that, knowing that there will always be another person out that there that Ladybug trusts more than she'll ever trust him? . "I stand by with what I said," Plagg quipped once more, his host quietly surprised with how the little God managed to get so close without him realising. "The two of you have been thrust into a messy situation with very little guidance and a whole bunch of rules which only complicated it further." He then directed his eyes from the moon to the boy. "Yes, I agree that Ladybug's decision in confiding with someone about her identity was a good idea, but as a result of that, it's brought you so much pain. You are not the worst and it's okay to cry it out. It's okay to tell her how you really feel." He placed one of his tiny hands on Adrien's cheek, ears and whiskers still weighed with melancholy as the boy allowed his eyes to prick with tears. One drop. Two drops. Three drops. Four. "It shouldn't hurt- I...I shouldn't be so selfish! Even if she never told me, I was able to tell that she wasn't able to handle her civilian life any longer, especially after becoming the Guardian- I'm supposed to protect her and be by her side! Not throw a tantrum like a three-year-old just because I'm not the one she decided to tell about her secret identity! And then adding my own stupid feelings and insecurities to her plate? I'll be a burden!" The dam was broken and the overwhelming feelings within Adrien cascaded like a tsunami. "You have plenty on your plate as well-" "But I'm used to it, she isn't. I was born and raised to deal with these kinds of things anyway so it's a no brainer for me to shut up and accept it all with a smile-" He paused abruptly, a wet gasp escaping his throat as he leaned against the glass for support when even more realisation sunk in. 'I have been dealing with so many responsibilities ever since I was born...and that puts us on the same boat...so why couldn't she have confided with me then?' Adrien dropped to his knees, fingernails scraping against his scalp as he tried to fight back against those negative thoughts and questions. 'Why am I never good enough? Not for Maman, not for Père and now...not for Ladybug...?' 'Why am I even here then?'

"Adrien...you don't need to put a mask on when you're with me. Cry it all out. I'm not gonna sit by and watch you destroy yourself from inside out because of your inability to address your true feelings. I'm right here, I'll even destroy all the wretched butterflies that dare to come by- so please, let it all out," "I can't! If I do, I'll never be able to go back and nothing will be the same again-" "And if you don't, then things will change for the worse and trust me, kid, that is the last thing you need." Finally, Plagg's words unravelled the obstacles that slowed down the flood and Adrien couldn't help but give in. His body shook and a whole new fresh wave of tears pooled down his eyes, teeth biting down on his lip to prevent the sobs from bursting out. . "...It hurts Plagg...it hurts so much! I love her...and I trust her so much but it hurts! I know she trusts me on a level and I know that multiple times she's mentioned that I'm irreplaceable but dammit! Why does it all feel like a lie!? She did the right thing in telling her civilian best friend, she finally has someone to look after herself- but why does it feel so wrong? Why is my heart in so much pain? Why can't I stop crying? If Ladybug won't lean on me, then what am I here for? And if I can't lean on Ladybug...who...who do I have?" . "...I may not be much and I may talk about nothing but cheese...but you'll always have me, kid," "I want to believe you, I want to so badly, Plagg...but I can't. I feel so alone...I've always been alone... ...And I'll always be alone..." . . . A couple of hours ago, just shy under midnight on a lone, hidden rooftop, if a curious civilian looked up, they would have seen Ladybug and Chat Noir locked in an embrace. However, what they would have noticed first was the absolutely broken, heartwrenching expression Noir wore... ...As if his entire world has fallen apart... . . . ~(x)~ A/N: Just wondering if I should make a sequel and give these two poor cats a happy ending~

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Fine Line (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: hey. Friends to lovers (the only trope i respect) You’re about to marry someone else, a prince from another village in an attempt to save relations with said village, only kakashi stands in the way of that, and everyone knows. 

Also, i know kakashi would never do this in reality, but gosh is it romantic to imagine

Word count: 5400

“Y/N, you really need to sleep,” Kakashi sighed, leaning on his fist which sat on the thin, flimsy armchair beside her bed.

She hadn’t slept properly for weeks now, day after day only falling asleep at random hours of the day, naps in the afternoon and a half hour of shut eye in the early morning. She ate sporadically, and her schedule had admittedly started to interfere with her friend’s. Kakashi found himself in her apartment, awake the majority of the nights trying to calm her down. 

But nothing was going to help this situation. Tsunade had decided already, after Y/N had hesistantly agreed. It wasn't as if this marriage was forced, but it certainly wasn’t ideal.

The woman never really imagined herself marrying at all, but if she had, she always dreamed it would be out of love for the other person, someone who would match her perfectly like a puzzle piece, essentially, someone who would complete her. 

Instead, she had been hastily shoved into an arranged marriage with a man she and Kakashi guarded on one of their missions. He was the wealthy crown prince in the Land of Frost. He was kind enough, and he respected her wishes when it came to the proposal, giving Y/N a month to decide whether she was ready to be wed to such a man.

He promised her the entire world. Jewels, clothes, children, a palace in which to live the rest of her days, anything she could possibly need he would have servants at her beck and call.

It hadn’t seemed like the worst idea at all, and Y/N shortly considered it. It wasn’t until Tsunade heard about it that things became serious. 

The relationship between the two lands was falling apart, and this was a last resort, she had said. It wouldn’t mean she could never see her friends again but meetings would be scarce, and she was positive he wouldn't let her train and go on the occasional, non-dangerous mission. It would be as if she were abandoning her entire life, she realized as the weeks passed after the engagement was set. 

And so the letter was sent back to the Land of Frost, and abruptly, Y/N L/N found herself engaged to be married in 3 months time. It seemed surreal, only having 90 days practically, to enjoy her normal life and prepare for an entirely new world. She hadn’t known anything else other than the way of shinobi, nor had she adjusted to other cultures. The Leaf was her home, and the thought of leaving it broke her heart.

For the first time in her life, it seemed she was petrified. Sure, there were times when she felt like everything was set up against her, that the enemy might win, but she hadn’t felt so hopeless and lost either. There always seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Not this time. 

“Please, just finish your tea and rest. You’re wasting away,“ he told her again, whispering in a soft tone only the two of them could hear. She was in the medical ward for the night, low blood sugar bringing her in this time. The dangerous combo of not sleeping or eating had set her body into a panic. She was so weak.

As she sipped the tea she sighed, feeling that sting of warmth run down her throat and bring some feeling to her empty, weak stomach. She couldn’t look at the man sitting beside her, it would only bring her pain, she decided. How could she face him? She was leaving him after all this time. 

It had been decades since they were apart for longer than the standard mission time. He was always there right alongside her. They grew up on the same street in the same complex. They attended the academy together, fought in the war side by side, travelled the world as jounin just trying to make their way through the twists and turns of village politics. She felt like shit having to leave him behind. It wasn’t like her new husband was going to let her have weekly visits to her old friend, a man who was closer than anyone else she knew. It wasn’t plausible. 

Slowly, she had realized that one day would be the last day she could hug Kakashi, that she could look up to him and hear his calm tone telling her it would all be okay, that he would never leave her behind, that he would always be there to protect her as long as she did the same for him. It wasn’t going to be like that anymore, and it often brought tears to her eyes in the late of night in her apartment, tears saturating her pillows and face swelling from the suffocated sobs. One day would be the last time she saw him, and it just hurt so badly. At times she found herself gasping for air, so terrified she couldn't find breath..

So, no, Y/N couldn't bring herself to face Kakashi. Maybe if she distanced herself little by little as the few months went on, it would be easier leaving. Leaving everyone behind. Kakashi, Gai, Kurenai, all the students she had grown to care about over the years. To spend her last days avoiding the people she would miss so dearly seemed like a waste of time and irrational, but it was the only thing that seemed reasonable in her confused mind.

“I can’t,” she replied softly, setting her mug down on the table to the other side of her bed. “How do you expect me to sleep?”

He shook his head in disapproval, his arms crossed over his chest as he leant back in his chair. He replied, “I don’t know. Just close your eyes and it’s bound to happen. You could at least try.” His suggestion was pretty useless, and he knew that. Hell, the amount of times he stayed awake when she begged him to sleep, he should have known he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

“And if I don’t want to?” 

He sighed, his eyes rolling to the ceiling, as he muttered, “What is your prince going to say when he sees you with black eye bags and cheeks sunken in?” He felt disgusted, hearing those words leave his mouth. Not only was she to be married to someone she barely knew, but she had to impress him. She had to change herself to fit his narrative of a woman, stereotypically beautiful, effortless yet hard working at the same time. He felt sick to his stomach thinking about that prince, and the ploy Tsunade had put up in the way of arranging them together.

Absolutely sickened.

She peered over at him and frowned. “Between you and me, I don’t give a fuck what that guy thinks,” she whispered, her eyes resting on the doorway to make sure no late night nurses were walking through. “I wish he would take one look at me and break the engagement himself.”

“You don’t have to do this, Y/N.” His eyes now drawn on her, watching as she took another long sip of her tea, which he now suspected was spiked with something Gai had given her on his way out, something to numb the pain she was feeling. It burned her throat so good, and dulled her mind just enough to ease her. The Green Beast understood her desire to help the village, but he also sided with Kakashi in that she could change her mind at any point in time. 

Even Gai knew she wasn’t happy, everyone fucking knew.

“Oh, but I do, Kakashi. I don’t really have a choice at this point.”

“You do. Don’t let a spoiled prince take away your happiness,” he argued, his face turned just the slightest shade of red at his frustration. He wanted to wring this prince by the neck for what he had done, for the tough situation Y/N was put in. Either save the relationship between two nations or be selfish and do nothing. “Please, Y/N.”

A part of him liked to believe that his begging was simply to save his friend from a horrible fate, that he was just doing what a normal person would do and defend someone who seemed so helpless, only that wasn’t it. It was never that in the first place. He wouldn’t have been the one to fall apart in Tsunade’s office when she told him that the pair were engaged, screaming profanities at the Hokage who only looked up at him with pity in her eyes. And he certainly wouldn’t have run all the way across the village to her apartment and bang on the door until she opened. He wouldn’t have left her room that night with a tear about to fall from his eye, and vomit coming up in his throat. He wouldn’t have thrown up in the middle of the street that night. Not if he was simply protecting a friend.

He knew that the reason this hurt him so badly is because he loved her. He always knew there was something there, but there was never any reason to act on his feelings. They had all the time in the world it seemed, just the two of them soldiering on in this boring life. Telling her how he felt, how much he wanted her...that wouldn’t have changed a thing between them other than made things just that much more difficult.

Now, Kakashi found himself regretting everything. If only he had said something before, maybe she could have stayed here in the Leaf with him, and all her other friends who had become her family over these decades of struggling together. If only he had stepped up and been brave. He never faltered in the face of fear; why did it have to be the only time he did that screwed him over.

“Kakashi, I can’t go back on the engagement. It would cause us to lose one of our greatest allies,” she told him calmly, but her heart was once again beating too fast for comfort. She found herself falling into that downward spiral of hopelessness once again. She looked over at him with a quiver in her lip and tears bubbling up at her waterline, words softly leaving her mouth, so quiet he almost missed it. “I was fitted for a wedding gown two days ago. I-It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. He asked me to pick what flowers I want at the ceremony.”

“Ah, I see.”

“All I wanted to say was wilted fucking roses, thorns and all. Weeds and empty branches.”

“Just run away if you have to, run for long enough that he forgets about you,” Kakashi suggested, a bit of plea in his voice for her to listen to anything, anything that would get her away from that man, this horrible fate. “You don’t need to do this. Tsunade can make it work.”

“Kakashi.” Y/N paused, biting her lip. Her head was beginning to buzz from the tea she was drinking, one in which Gai added more than a bit of sake to numb the pain. Something the nurses at this godforsaken hospital refused to give her. She gazed over at him with a glaze over her eyes, her cheeks draining of any last bit of color she had in them.

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to marry him,” she confessed, that much was obvious. “I wish I was marrying you instead.”

“Y/N-”

“I’ve never even looked at someone twice because of you. I’ve only ever wanted you, for fuck’s sake.” she bit out harshly, her voice raising with every word. Her eyes were trailed painfully on his own, glaring fire into him. "All these years, all these long, painful years, it's always been you, Hatake."

Just as he was about to say something in response, she had leaned over and pushed him away from her. He opened his mouth to get out a word, but nothing came out. Her angry shouts filled his ears, and he found himself falling. He stood from his chair and backed away from her bed.

“Just get out, Kakashi. It doesn’t matter how the fuck I feel anymore. I should have never said anything. At this point, I'm just tormenting myself. Just get out,” she hissed. “Get out, get out, get out.” Her shouts were painful to hear, but he understood. He wasn’t angry, unlike the girl with the overwhelming emotions bubbling out from the ears. His heart raced at her words, at the rushing emotions flowing through his veins.

He walked out the door without saying goodbye, just hearing her crying behind him while he pushed open the cracked door. As he shut the door behind him, he noticed a particular pink haired girl standing against the wall. She stared at him in shock, having heard the outbursts from the woman in the room who she was just about to check up on to make sure vitals were okay. She heard the confession, and she heard the subsequent backlash. She heard the parts about Y/N not wanting to marry the prince as well. 

It wasn’t exactly well known that she resented the engagement, but it was fairly obvious if you spent enough time with the kunoichi, which Sakura surely did being a medical nin.

“Sensei, are you okay?”

“Yes, Sakura, I’m fine,” he breathed, finding himself at a loss for words and lungs utterly useless.

Sakura grabbed onto his arm, peering up at him with just an ounce of determination in her eyes. “You need to convince Y/N-sensei to break the engagement.”

“I know.”

“Did you talk to Lady Tsunade.”

“She won’t listen to me.”

“Then I’ll try to talk to her too. She's not a cruel woman, but she is set on this engagement. She believes it will unite the two villages for hundreds of years. Y/N is one of our best and brightest after all.” Sakura told the man in the darkness of the hospital halls, her soft voice echoing on white walls. “I know it doesn’t seem like things will work out, and maybe Lady Tsunade won't listen. But you have to convince Y/N to stand up for herself."

He nodded, but it felt hopeless even pretending that things would change.

“You two were meant for each other. You can’t just give up on that now.”

And with that, he left down the hall, waving goodbye to his student. He didn’t know  how exactly he was going to do this, work out this mess in his favor, but it was worth a shot trying. If he didn’t, it would mean losing the love of his life. He couldn’t lose anyone else, not this time. 

Please, just not this time.

________________________

Despite being dressed in all white, Y/N felt anything but pure. She had been dolled up the entire morning by her friends and the young girls of the village. Ino, Hinata and her sister, and a handmaiden sent from the Land of the Frost to prepare her for her wedding that day. Her dress was embroidered with small snowflakes and wisps of silver and baby blue details. 

Already she felt as if she were being taken from her village and her heritage with all this decoration from the other land. Not to mention she would be married off somewhere foreign and cold, alone without the comfort of her family and friends here in the Leaf. The only people to be escorting her to the other village would be the handmaid, a couple guards from the Frost, and Kakashi.

Her final request was allowing him to come with her just for the wedding. And maybe it was cruel, to have him there as both their hopes for a happy ending dissolve, but she needed him. There was no way she would make it through the wedding without him standing to the side supporting her, even if the support was purely obligatory.

She never said anything to Tsunade, in fear of being rejected or patronized for changing her mind. Instead. She just waited for the fateful day.

Y/N stood at the gates,  arms crossed over her chest as she stared out into the woods, a white and silver carriage sitting before her with 3 horses standing tall ahead. This was the life waiting for her across the boundary, in the faraway land she would never recognize as home. It would be her last day in the village for a long time, at least until she was allowed to leave. Still, her life wouldn’t be the same ever again. She never dreamed of living in a world where she was forced to be a housewife, alone in a giant house without her companions, without the rush of the hunt on missions, without feeling the chakra flowing thickly through her veins.

She’d said her goodbyes. Cleared out her apartment, leaving the majority of her belongings behind with friends and family. She wouldn’t be needing it where she was going. 

“Kakashi?” she asked softly, peering over her shoulder at the man leaning against the gate, a book in his hand, the other tucked into his pocket. He wore nice clothing. Better than usual, at least. He wasn’t an honored guest, honestly, he wasn’t truly invited, she was just bringing him along upon her own stubbornness. He looked nice, dressed up like he cared today. 

He lifted his eyes and hummed in reply, obviously lost in his own thoughts as well.

“I feel like I should have stayed longer in the village, to say goodbye. Our friends...Gai and all our students, Iruka...I feel like I'm just abandoning them,” she told him. “I just don’t think I’m ready to say goodbye. I guess I just don’t know how to say goodbye, a real goodbye. I’ve never felt like this- like I need to put so much thought behind a farewell because honestly, I’ve never felt like it would be my last one.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I have never intentionally left someone knowing that I’ll never see them again. It fucking sucks that I’m standing here knowing I’ll never see you guys again after this. I can’t accept it like that though. I keep thinking that after this is all over life will be back to normal, but it won’t.”

“I know. We should have tried harder to get you out of this mess. I could have said something-”

“It’s not your fault. I-I shouldn’t have agreed in the first place. I only agreed because I didn’t think I had a chance with you, so what would it matter leaving to be with someone else,” she blurted out, her truths coming out in heavy waves, “It would make me less lonely, I thought, even though it’s clearly done the opposite. I’ve never felt more impending loneliness than I do now.”

He sighed, shutting his book and stuffing it into his jacket pocket. It was like him to bring his romance novellas on a trip like this. She wanted to smile at his hobby, but her heart felt too heavy in her chest to even lift her lips. “I’ll see you again, Y/N. One day, I’ll get the chance to go back there and see you, as long as you let me in.”

“I don’t want it to just be one day,” she cried, throwing her arms down at her sides. She felt gross in these dreary robes, too decorated for her tastes altogether. “I want to see you everyday. I never want to go another day without you by my side. Jesus, this whole situation is just sick.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder and furrowed his brow. “Keep quiet. You’re gonna make a scene, Y/N.”

“I just can’t be quiet about this. Don’t you understand how I’m feeling? Aren’t you going to miss me too?” The woman asked, feeling her hands begin to sweat as she clenched them over and over. She stared at him, right into his exposed eye, her breaths becoming shallower with every passing moment. Panic creeped up her neck so quickly, smothering her thoughts, rationale flying out the window.

“Of course I will, L/N. That’s a stupid question, and you know it. I’m just trying not to get caught fraternizing with a future queen, yeah?” he mumbled, his voice hushed. "Just calm down. You're getting pale." He wanted to reach down and run his hands along her arms, smooth over her shoulders for just a bit of comfort, but he refrained. He didn't want to touch her in front of wandering eyes, the eyes of any Frost people.

After scanning the area, she grabbed a hold of his wrist, her fingers firm with no intention of letting go. “We need to leave. You and me, we can get out of here.”

“What?” He could only ask, completely stunned at her suggestion. 

“Remember what you told me in the hospital. You told me to run away. We run away from here now, for as long as it takes for the prince to give up on me.” How scandalous, he thought. He couldn’t possibly just take the bride and run, could he? He hadn’t even pondered that route in his nightly daydreaming before bed, tossing and turning trying to think of a way to save his friend from the depths of whatever this prince had to offer. 

“Y/N, I meant just you. I-I can’t just go against Lady Tsunade like that-”

“Kakashi Hatake, you’re my best friend, but more importantly, I’m in love with you. If I’m not wrong, the feeling is mutual. If that doesn’t make you want to run away together then I call cowardice,” she said boldly, her eyes never once leaving his own. “Come on, we don’t have the time for this.”

This could ruin him, he knew that full well. But there was just something about this woman he couldn’t let slip from his grasp. His entire world fell into her hands. When he felt that inevitable tug on his arm, pulling him into the familiar woods before them, he found himself following without a single restraint. The only thing he felt was his heart racing in his chest, bursting with an adrenaline he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

They pushed through the forest for as long as she could run, tripping over branches and roots along the way, but never losing grip of each other. Her blood pulsed through her veins, and honestly, she had never felt more alive. Her entire life she found herself bowing down to those superior to her, listening to each word they say and meeting their every beck and call. She accepted a proposal she desperately wanted to decline solely to please the Hokage, one of the worst mistakes of all because she needed to obey. 

It felt so fucking good to break the rules, to be disobedient for once in her sorry life. 

Finally, after running for what seemed like miles, she finally slowed to a stop next to a particularly large tree. Her palms pressed against the rough bark, wood chips digging into her calloused hands. He slowed to a stop beside her and watched silently as she caught her breath, her chest rising and falling under the thick robes she wore. 

“These shoes sure as hell aren’t made for running,” she mumbled, looking down at the pathetic slippers they’d given her. “I think we are far enough away that we can sit and talk for a little bit.”

“Yeah, you wanna talk about how you committed treason.”

“You did, too. Don’t blame this all on me.”

“You were the one with all your “cowardice” and “love” crap. God, this entire thing feels like it’d come out of one of Master Jiraiya's novels.”

She took a seat on the ground, not caring if the dirt stained her robes. Why would she care? She was dead either way. If Tsunade ever laid eyes on her again, Y/N knew she’d be a goner. That woman would kill with no hesitation, she was convinced of it. Y/N’s eyes trailed back up to her the man, and she could only groan. “Listen I know there were definitely better ways of doing this, but I’m not the sharpest kunai in the box. I was just doing what my feral instincts were telling me to do. You were the one who just followed after me like a lost puppy.”

He rolled his eyes, huffing out, “What was I supposed to do? Think rationally? You’ve got my brain turned to mush half the damn time; what do you want from me?”

“Don’t worry, you’re literally Tsunade’s best ninja- She’ll let you back into the village.”

“You’re not that bad yourself-”

“Yeah, that’s why she tried to pawn me off to the Land of Frost to be a stay-at-home mom. Things aren’t lining up, Kakashi.”

He sighed, finally deciding to take a seat beside her against the tree trunk. He leant his head against the wood, his eyes peering up into the trees. Things had taken a wild turn, that’s for sure. He really did feel like he was in one of his romantic drama, the only thing missing was the R-rated content-Not that that was what he was thinking about, of course not…

 How the story would end, he didn’t really know. 

“Well, what’s done is done. Whether it was a bad decision or not.”

“I really didn’t think this through.”

“Nope.”

She turned to him, her eyebrows furrowed deeply, frustrated with this entire thing. “Kakashi, I did this because of you. Because of what we have going on between us. Did you want me to be married off to that pig of a prince?” she questioned.

“No.”

 She nodded at his answer and leaned back in her spot. Her arms worked their way to being crossed over her chest, and she couldn’t look him in the eyes at this point, her sight set on a particular mushroom a few yards away. Her words were curt, if not awkward, “Speaking of which, we need to discuss what we are or how we feel or whatever.”

“I thought that was obvious.”

“Not really. I mean, I’ve told you how I feel already, but um, you haven’t said a thing.”

“But you clearly know.”

She shook her head, a bit of heat rising up her cheeks and ears. “Doesn’t matter. I gotta hear you say it, for real.” 

Kakashi let his eyes wander over to the woman, who sat there like a child with her arms crossed and her eyes tucked away somewhere else. He almost wanted to laugh. She reminded him of a student at times with her bashfulness. It was definitely one of the many things he liked about her. “What? Do you want me to tell you I love you, or something?”

“Yes, that would be nice after all the trouble I’ve been through for you.”

He chuckled that time. Of course, all the trouble…”Y/N, I guess I love you. I guess I spent all these years ignoring my feelings, and it took this whole arranged marriage thing to make me realize I was missing out on a really good thing,” he confessed, voice softer than usual. “When you told me in the hospital, riding out your buzz from the spiked tea Gai gave you, that you wished you were marrying me instead, I just knew I had to have you. Truly though, I knew on our first meeting that I wanted you.”

“I was such a clumsy idiot back then. I think I’ve matured a lot since then, don’t you think?”

“Maybe, you’re still a clumsy idiot, just one with great ninjutsu.”

“Hey!”

"All I know is that I loved the feeling of falling in love with you. How good it made me feel. I was more worried about you than ever before, but every time you smiled and said hello, anything you did really, started to make my days better and better,” he continued, “This life has been cold and harsh to me, but you just swooped in and made it worth something.”

She felt her heart beat faster in her chest hearing that, a warmth growing in her stomach as she scooted closer to him, inch by inch. He clearly didn’t take notice or mind, so she pressed her side to his, shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh. She felt ridiculous in these heavy ginormous robes, too bulky to move properly. She dropped her head on his shoulder gently, and felt him relax into her touch.

“I love you so much it hurts. My hands are shaking because of all the love that’s overflowing,” she told him with a sheepish grin, holding up her hand so he could indeed see that her hand was vibrating. He clasped her hand in his own and lowered them to his lap. His thumb ran over her knuckles in soft strokes, and she melted into the gentle touch of the man she cared so deeply for. 

“I’m glad I ran away with you.”

“Me too.”

________________________________

It had been about 3 days before someone found them wandering in a nearby village. It was only a matter of time before they were found and brought back to the Leaf, anyway, so no surprise to them there. It was exciting having a few days without responsibilities, just living almost as if they were civilians in love. 

People in the village stared as the pair walked through the streets of the town, whispers being heard and looks shared. It was only a matter of time before everyone knew about the Copy-nin and his battered bride companion being escorted into Konoha.

Tsunade was in her office waiting for them to arrive. The door shut behind them, and Y/N wished someone was there to witness the Hokage murder them, only, the fatal blow never came. Instead, calm words reached their ears.

“I’d say I’m surprised, but I’m really not.”

“Lady Tsunade, let me explain what happened-” Y/N started to say, but she was quickly interrupted.

“I really don’t need to hear the details of your 3 day sex-capade,” she dismissed, a look of disgust crossing her face. Y/N’s face morphed into that of pure horror, the thought of the Hokage and everyone in the village that knew they ran away assuming that’s what they’d been doing. It was humiliating, to say the least. She didn’t have time to process the fact before the Hokage spoke again, “I’m mad because you two essentially committed treason, but thankfully, the prince didn’t have any complaints. He apparently saw a psychic the day of the wedding who told him that his marriage was cursed for eternity, and was ready to call off the entire thing. Superstitious bastard.”

“So, the Land of the Frost and the Leaf are still allies?” Kakashi asked.

“Yes, fortunately," the Hokage stated simply. She lifted her eyes to the younger woman, and the exasperation was obvious in her appearance as well as tone. The girl in question nervously rubbed her forearm, embarrassed beyond belief. It was one thing getting screamed at, but it was another to be scolded like a child. "Y/N, if you wanted to break the arrangement, you should have just told me. I could have worked it out somehow. There was no need for all this drama.”

She bit her lip, not knowing what to say. She really should have said something before, but she was foolish. “I know, but I didn’t want to disappoint you," the woman mumbled awkwardly.

“Well, you did.” Ouch, so blunt.

“I know.”

She nodded, clearly having said what needed to be said. Her eyes dipped back down to her paperwork. The air wasn't nearly as heavy as when the pair first walked in, and Y/N finally felt air fill her lungs once again. Her nerves had really been for nothing, thankfully. 

“Very well, you two are dismissed. Don't go around pulling shit like this again, or I’ll see to it that you actually receive punishment.”

The doors shut behind them, and Y/N let a smile grow on her cheeks. She turned to the man at her side, her smile only growing that much more at the sight of his handsome face. “Things sure worked out for me. I didn’t get in trouble for my crimes, and I have a boyfriend now,” she gleamed.

He smirked, rolling his eyes. “Don’t get too cocky. You still have to deal with Gai.”

“I’m not prepared for the amount of hugs I am about to receive.”

“Neither am I.”

And as they heard those oh-so familiar, loud footsteps rushing up the stairs of the Hokage Tower, they knew they were in for it. 

"Kakashi! Y/N! I heard the joyous news of your return!"

Oh, boy.

[delicatewerewolfsoul]

Full Circle - Han Jisung

–pairing: han jisung x reader, life savior seungmin, (popular boy hyunjin, felix and minho making an appearance)

–genre: fluff, idiots/best friends to lovers au,

–word count: 3,8 k

–synopsis: jisung had exactly three days to make you his, and he'll do everything he could to make it happen.

–for the dear skz, with love event by @districtninewriters make sure to check the works of the other writers!

Lilacs: when lilacs have a light purple color, they represent first love and new begginings 

The bell rings once again after another boring class in the middle of a peaceful Wednesday but Jisung doesn’t move an inch from where he’s sitting, his hands supporting his head as his eyes closed, sleeping far more entertaining than any weird information the teacher shared with all of you. Wednesday’s were always hard for Jisung since he had three classes different than yours that day. He couldn’t concentrate at all, he had no energy to spend, and honestly he didn’t want to either. He found these classes useless after all, since he already knew what he’ll do after this ended, and no one of these was part of it. That day his ears seemed far more used to the loud sound of the bell that doesn’t move an inch.

He was shaken out of his slumber violently, in his opinion, after something hits the back of his head, only for it to be a ball of paper, thrown at him by his classmate Felix that sat right behind him. 

“Hey bro, class finished a while ago, why are you still here?” Felix says confused because his usually enthusiastic, bright friend was suddenly sulking more than usual that fine Wednesday while looking at a notebook at his hands that was clearly too neat to be his, so he guessed it was yours.

“But it’s boring without y/n… They have a big assignment with their chemistry class and they spend most of their time with them… And I don’t want to cling to them and be annoying” he says propping his head on his arms as he was looking at his friend that was about to laugh, it really looked as if Jisung’s life depended on how close you were and what you were doing. He remembers when once he said y/n is my oxygen half jokingly and Minho was about to throw a book on his head of disgust making everyone laugh. Truth was, that he was in too deep and too hard, from as long as he remembers. From the moment you met, when you held his hand in primary school to pull him out of the mud hole he had fallen and then taken to his home, only to find out that your parents are friends so that meant that you would probably spend more time together. And from that moment you were attached to the hip, the beauty and the nuisance as he would say himself (even though you scolded him every time he called himself that), following you around.

“Still, let’s go outside okay? I’m sure the others are already outside. And you need fresh air, stand up lover boy” patting his friends back and going out with the sulking boy following behind. Felix was right after all, he needed to be out and if he acted like that, then his other friend would feel like they weren’t worthy to him and was equally as bad. He stepped outside of the school to the big green area where big tables were placed so students could study. 

“Took you long enough, what happened?” says Minho as the two of them step closer to their usual table where all of you sit during your breaks studying or laughing around. 

“Lover boy here was refusing to let his desk alone, and he slept during class too” Felix said as he took a seat across Minho. Honestly he just wanted to sleep the day away, this specific day was too tiring for him to handle… But the others would never know that. 

“I think I know the reason” Minho says, looking at his left, his gaze falling at the center of the yard where the table you were sitting with your classmates were. Jisung understands where he’s looking and turns to look as well. And his eyes land on you as you talk to your classmates, probably planning something he guesses from the way you look at them. As expected from his y/n… Well, not his, but yeah. He smiles shyly at the thought, feeling his face heating up. He then sees you waving at him, with a smile on your face, probably feeling his eyes on you and he waves back smiling as well. And that’s when he sees a very familiar figure going closer to you.

Someone tall with his hands in his pockets comes behind, and stops behind you. Hwang Hyunjin? What would the most popular kid in school want with a person that was kind of on the nerdy side, like you? What he’s about to hear will get him very surprised.

“y/n, go on a date with me” says Hyunjin and the whole school goes silent.Jisung’s hand stays midair and it can be seen all around his face how much he was panicking at that exact moment. Jisung breaths in as he also waits for your answer, but as he pays attention more to your expressions he already knows what your answer will be. The slight bite of your lip, the way you played with your fingers all showed how you would actually say yes, he knew you too well. “Y-yes” you say silently and Hyunjin smiles. “Okay then! I’ll pick you up on Friday, at 7pm” he says and leaves as quickly as he came. 

Jisung feels as if an arrow went through his chest. Why Hwang Hyunjin out of all people? He was so tall and pretty, he knew he wasn't a match to him. He couldn't just accept this though, he had to do something. He had to do something and he had to do it fast. There was a problem though, he definitely couldn't do it face to face, so he had to find another way. And then an idea comes to mind. He remembers the movie you two watched the other day. Letters. That was the plan. After school, when only the kids on duty would be there, he would tiptoe to your locker and silently, put the letter in it. 

And that's what he did. After classes ended, he said goodbye to his dear friends and when the school seemed almost empty, he went close to your locker.

"What are you doing?" Jisung hears someone say behind him and with how nervous he is, he somehow manages to hit his head on the locker while trying to put the letter in it quickly, before turning around to see an unamused Seungmin looking at him with a book in his arm, probably headed towards the library. As expected from the class president, always being annoying and having to appear at the worst times ever. It's not that he didn't like him, it was just that… He shouldn't be there at this time.

"Hey Seungmin, I'm… Good, how are you?" he answers back, a forced smile on his face, as he already feels himself starting to sweat, trying to find a way to get rid of him. His plan was definitely not going the way he wanted to.

"That's y/n's locker right? And what's with that letter?" Seungmin asks even though he already knows what's happening. He wants to laugh at the boy in front of him but he contains himself, as he knows that Jisung might have a breakdown at the state he is currently at. "Let me help you. I'll make sure nothing dumb like this ever happens"

"How come you aren't taking Hyunjin's side?" Jisung says, a little amused by the offer.

"Honestly, Hyunjin might have the looks and the brains, but you have the heart so you win that one" says Seungmin without really thinking about it much, the answer obvious to him.

"I don't know if I should be happy or offended but anyways, thanks for the offer, I appreciate it" Jisung says and smiles at him. “Even if I don’t know how you even know I like them”

“Are you kidding me?” answers Seungmin stopping at his tracks. “You were painfully obvious, I’m really shocked how they didn’t notice that themselves. I’m shocked at how I didn’t even see you once drool, I swear you were about to when they…”

“Okay, enough! I got it, it was obvious, can we please stop this?” says Jisung scratching the back of his head. Was he actually that obvious? he bites his lip in thought. What if you actually noticed and didn’t do anything cause you didn’t actually want to be anything more than friends? He shakes his head to get these thoughts out of it. There’s no backing away now, not when he already had put a well thought letter into your locker.

"So… What are you going to do when they get the letter tomorrow?" Asks Seungmin, as they walk back in class, getting him out of his thoughts.

"I don't know… Faint?" Says Jisung and Seungmin would almost hit him, if he didn't have in mind his good reputation. "I didn't write much though, it will be more in the next letter". 

"I'll talk to them then, and see what they think.  And you just… Relax weirdo, you'll get caught that way".

The next day you arrive as normal at school, kinda early as always, as you loved walking in the morning breeze and of course there was no reason to run towards class when you take your time and enjoy the chilly mornings. You open your locker and something falls on the floor. You pick it up and you open it and proceed to read it:

Dear y/n,

you’re surprised aren’t you? I know this is kinda sudden and this was kinda urgent for my side as well. I would reach out to you sooner, orI would make a move spooner but it’s fair to say that I was a coward. But as the circumstances are right now, I have to move fast. Let’s say I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, I’ve always been looking out for you and taking care of you. I’ve tried too hard to get rid of the feelings for the sake of you, but it was too hard. A new letter will reach you soon, please anticipate it

–your secret admirer

A secret admirer? That was new for sure. And why now out of all times? As you go to crumble and throw away the letter, you feel a hand on your shoulder.

“I wouldn’t do this if I was you. This somehow seems important, don’t you want to know who this is from?” you turn around and see no other than Kim Seungmin, looking at you straight in the eyes.

“Seungmin? Were you reading this all this time? Why are you here? Do you know who this is from?” you say looking around to spot any abnormal activity around you. You miss the way Jisung turns to hide behind a big column on your right. He feels his knees giving out as he waits for Seungmin to return and finally tell him what’s happening. 

After a few minutes he feels a hand on his shoulder and he would scream if he didn’t know who it was. He stands up and clears his throat as he turns to talk to his friend.

“What happened?” he says, looking at him with anticipation as they walk back in class. Seungmin laughs as he looks at him, he didn’t want to admit it, but he liked Jisung’s courage, it made him happy to see him finally take that step and do a favor to everyone and confess.

“It went good, they’re keeping the letter… And they also said they’ll do a little investigation whatever that means” says Seungmin getting in class. He notices Jisung isn’t next to him and turns around and notices the poor boy by the side of the class’ entrance, his hands on his hair, with a panicked look on his face. He runs to him to bring him back in his senses.

“You know what that means? They’ll call me. Tonight. To ask me what I think. What do I do Seungmin? I’ll screw everything up” Jisung yells, now grabbing Seungmin’s biceps and it would be wrong to say that Seungmin wasn’t scared by the look on Jisung’s face.

“You’ll act your normal self, that’s what you gotta do” says Seungmin and Jisung curses himself for even putting himself through all of this.

“What did you do with the second letter by the way?” asks Seungmin looking at him.

“Ohh, the letter? I put it somewhere safe that I know they'll open at home”.

And that’s what happens. As you open your school bag, and take out all of your books, you spot at the very bottom of your bag an envelope similar to the one you got in the morning. You gasp as you understand what it is, quickly picking up your phone, calling your most trusty friend. After a few seconds he picks it up.

“What do you want this late loser?” he says with his usual tone and you laugh hearing the smile that you know he has on his face.

“Nothing special, just… I’ve been getting those letters lately? I just got the second one and I wanted to read it with you” you say and hold your phone close to ear, with the help of your shoulder, as you try to open the letter.

Jisung gulps as he hears you say that. Just exactly as he expected, you call him to ask about this. He should have figured it out before earlier that this would happen, there wasn’t anyone that you trusted more than him after all.

“I’ll read it out now” you say and start reading out loud:

Dear y/n 

Just as I told you, I’m back with another letter. I hope I don’t seem weird or anything by letting those letters for you. I really didn’t have any way to show you my feelings for you. Too shy to talk to you about this and a little too much of a  coward to even face you. I hope these silly letters reach your heart and you give me a chance. You shine so much that my heart can’t take it, I’ve tried many times to voice my feelings, but I was without a voice, as if the world would end if I finally let them out. Stupid right? You’re probably wondering who this weirdo who is leaving letters like these for you is so I left a little hint for you at the end of the letter. Expect my last letter very soon.

–your secret admirer

Jisung feels his stomach turn as he hears you read the word he himself wrote for you. It actually sounded way more childish and cringy than he intended it to be, now that you were actually reading it out loud. He desperately wanted the world to open up and swallow him alive, that’s how much embarrassed he was.

“You’re hearing this, right? Me. Having a secret admirer, I wasn’t expecting something like this to happen” you laugh as you say this and Jisung feels himself getting sweaty, trying to control his nervous self and show how professional he was with his feelings (which was totally not but whatever).

“Ha ha, yeah! you’re right” he says super awkwardly and closes his eyes as he sighs, trying to calm himself, before continuing “You’ll just wait till the next letter, right?” he says and bites his lip as he waits for your answer.

“Of course, I have to find out who this is, they clearly went out of their way for me, I should know… Oh?”. You look inside the envelope again now and you spot a picture of a flower, a beautiful, full bloomed lilac bush. What’s that supposed to mean?

“What is it?” he says just as quickly, even if he already knows what it is.

“It’s a lilac bush, just like the one I have in my backyard, you know, the purple one?” you say and think about harder, but nothing comes to mind. “I don’t really understand, does that flower have any meaning?” you and Jisung sighs as he sees that you didn’t figure out everything.

“I have no clue, why don’t you search for it later?” he says and you think about it “will do, for sure”.

And the next day comes and that finds Jisung asking Seungmin what his great plan was for his final letter.

"So… What's the plan for the last letter, big brained boy?" says Jisung with a smile, as he nudges Seungmin's shoulder and the other boy makes a disgusted face at him but answers anyways.

"I've actually recruited a friend to drop the letter under their front door," says Seungmin and Jisung starts panicking again.

"Wait what? I can't trust a stranger with such an important thing, why not me and you?" says Jisung stubbornly and Seungmin just wants to hit his own head on the wall.

"And what if they are near the door, notice the letter and run out, only to see me or you close to it? Wouldn't that be suspicious?" he says and Jisung starts sulking, understanding what his friend is saying. "And Jeongin is very trustworthy, you have nothing to worry about"

You on the other end, are on edge. You keep out for your secret admirer around you. You check your purse all the time, your locker, your soundings at all times, hoping you'll spot something out of the ordinary and finally find out who that person was and end this painful journey that was giving you too much curiosity. 

"Stop looking like that everyone around you, there's no way you'll find out something like that, and you're scaring everyone around you" Jisung says as he spots you at the end of school at your locker. "Still no sign of the admirer?" he says and you sigh.

"Yeahh, still no sign. I thought I would have already gotten one by now, I wonder if something is wrong" you say biting your lip.

"I bet there's nothing wrong, they may have a different plan in mind" he says and you both walk towards your homes. He's nervous, he hopes the friend Seungmin gave his letter will actually do a good job and make sure the letter will reach you safely… And in time. The date you had with Hyunjin was so close, if the letter didn't arrive in time, that would probably be a huge problem for Jisung.

You arrive at home in no time. You throw your bag at the ground and quickly take your jacket off, and then flop on the couch as you start thinking again about everything that's happening. From Hyunjin sudden confession to the also very sudden secret admirer. The timing seemed interesting, why now? Whoever was it, you wanted to congratulate that person for their courage, you know, you wouldn't be able to do something like that if you were in their place, since you were also keeping your feelings to yourself.

A sudden rustling to your door takes you out of your thoughts and as you look towards it, you spot a new envelope. Stand up quickly, grab your keys and your envelope, and run out of your apartment, only to see a person running away, but too far for you to reach it. You open hurriedly the envelope to read the letter:

Dear y/n 

It's me again and today I'm finally putting an end to journey. So this is… Jisung. You're surprised right? I'm sorry for being such a coward and doing this this way. I just wanted you to know, even if it is late, even if in the end you don't choose me at the end that to me, it has always been you. You're probably wondering why now right? Well, the other day I saw how Hyunjin confessed to you and all I could think of was how stupid I was all this time. How I could be more daring and finally make you mine. And I always kept on pushing back "I'm glad I'm just their friend" was a thought I always had in my mind but the truth was that in the back of my mind I always wanted more. I wanted to hold you, be the one to take care of you for once, and not the other way around. I know it is selfish to do this now, but please forgive me, I didn't want to give you up, I wanted to fight for you, even if I was defeated in the end, it would all be worth it. You're also probably wondering why the flower. I remember the day we planted together that little bush because you wanted a more unique flower in your garden. Funnily enough this beautiful flower means first love, did you know that? You were mine actually. I still remember how I finally figured out my feelings for you while we watched that beautiful sunrise at that little hillside by my house, I remember my heart skipping a beat when I turned to you look at you and the purple and magenta colors illuminated at your face and knew at that time, that was in deep. And since that time my heart was colored a bright rose color whenever I thought of you. Every time I see that little bush bloom, I remember how much I wanted to give you these flowers and finally open my heart to you but I was always scared to do so and I deeply regret till this day. If you decide to actually choose me, I will be at the same hillside, waiting for you.

You're truly, Jisung

And you run… You run full speed towards that idiot friend of yours. You were almost in tears, how did you not notice how nervous he was? Or the flowers? You should have known… What Jisung didn't know was that you felt bad about it too. You felt bad for not taking the first step. For not getting to him first. What Jisung didn't know was that the reason you didn't date before was because of him. Why date when you had Han Jisung by your side? The reason you actually accepted Hyunjin's confession was so you could try and yourself to stop loving your best friend, feeling guilty for your feelings.

You reach the hill and here he is, his back turned to you. You run to him and back hug him, your left arm going around his waist.

“You big idiot, why go through all of this just so you can confess, all you needed to do is to just straight up come to me and I would choose you without any hesitation”

Jisung laughs as hears you, feeling relieved and a strange kind of joy he didn't think he'd feel. Your right hand comes around his waist as well, and that's where he spots it. A light purple lilac, from the same bush you two planted, years ago. He starts laughing at the flower and you laugh with him.

"Did you actually know that this means new beginnings as well?"

(a/n: I have loads of fun writing this, I hope people will enjoy it, don't forget to leave a review heh)

[kannra21]

Sniperhaul fanfic

ˡᵐᵃᵒ ᶦ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᵇᵉˡᶦᵉᵛᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶦ'ᵐ ᵈᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ

Overhoe finally broke out of Tartarus after a very long time. However, he couldn't have done it without the help of a certain villain mistress. 😏 Who's she and why did she choose to help this terrible (x2) man? Find out bellow.

characters: overhaul (chisaki kai) x sniper lady

word count: 3k

warnings: angst, past memories, handless overhaul, hurt, comfort, gangs, yakuza, just girl taking care of her mans

notes: I'd like to thank the person responsible for proofreading this work bc I'm supposed to keep their identity a secret. 😎 Thank you once again! And of course, the manga and characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi. @meefal you were excited to see the final product so here you go, hope you like it. 🖤

✂-------------------------------------------------------

Overhaul couldn't remember how long he'd been there, he'd lost count weeks ago. The only thing he knew was that he was in "Tartarus", a prison located 5km off the coast of the Mainland. It may function like a conventional prison, but in reality, those who're deemed a severe threat toward the safety of the nation were locked up and monitored closely, regardless of whether their sentence has been decided on yet. The facility was divided into 6 levels, where the potential threat level of criminals was deemed "higher" the further underground you go. It's a prison where, once you enter, there's no chance of leaving.

He sat there in his cell, B10 being the lowest level in solitary confinement. It was too cold for his head to function and too dark for his eyes to see, with the small window above the prison doors being his only source of light. There was also an opening where prisoners received their meals, but considering that he lost his hands, the guards could easily enter without worrying too much for their well-being. They'd leave whatever they offered that day and give him a disgusted look before locking the doors after themselves. He couldn't see his reflection nor touch his face, he probably looked like crap by now. His skin was itching and he felt disoriented from all the germs occupying this space, it's been a while since he's gone out for some fresh air. 

He was practically Quirkless and yet they locked him out in the worst, most dreadful place the isolation block had to offer. He couldn't even feed himself properly, he couldn't do anything by himself whatsoever. But there was only one thing left to him; he spent days and days thinking about pops, Chrono, yakuza and everything he could have if it weren't for those stupid heroes-- no, if it weren't for his plan that so grandiosely failed. It made him feel miserable, desperate even, and with grief soon followed acceptance. It was all his fault, and he needed to live with this burden for the rest of his life. Because of him, pops is still handicapped to the bed somewhere, wherever the heroes might have taken him. 

He stood up and started beating the cell with his leg, curing his frustrations. He didn't know why he was doing it, it was irrational and he's hurting himself unnecessarily, but for some reason it made him feel lighter. At least he could transfer some of his inner pain to the outside world. Other criminals laughed at his patheticness, especially since they knew why the guards were allowed to enter his cell. They shouted that it was impossible to escape, but he wasn't trying to. He knew that it was useless a long time ago. 

Midnight came and all the prisoners mostly fell asleep. Overhaul, however, couldn't sleep a wink. Because of the dark room he spent most of his days in, he lost his sense of time so he was pacing around, deep in thought. He couldn't dream of anything nice anyways. 

"Can't fall asleep either?" a feminine voice could be heard from the other side. Wait. They allowed women here? What could she have possibly done to deserve such punishment? 

He leaned his back on the doors and slid down to the floor, trying to find the right words.

"Yes." he sighed, enthusiasm lacking in his voice "But it's not like I need you to talk about my problems." 

"Hm, whatever. Go beat your head against the bars. Fall unconscious, loser."

The man snorted, which might as well be his first time he ever did that. 

"Well, this certainly sounds effective. It's not like I have anything to lose anyways." 

"Hey." the tone of her voice was earnest, and it aroused further questions in his jumbled up head. 

"What?"

"We're going to get out of here." 

Is she being serious now? "Really? Because as far as I know, we're locked out here for good. We don't even know the severity of our sentences. They can do whatever they want with us."

"Not quite. You know that they're being supervised by 'The Hearts and Mind' party offshoots. They can’t do a thing to us as long as they have their heads to the pikes." 

This might be true, but he didn't believe in anything the government's been telling them lately. It's only a matter of time before they switch their plans and play by their own rules, because stabbing people in the back was the only thing they've ever been good at. 

"How did you end up here?" 

Oh the long-awaited question. She wondered when he'd ask. 

"It's not like I need you to talk about my problems."

He smiled, he liked this vicious side of hers. But he also realized that she could be nice as well because if that wasn't the case, she wouldn't spread promises of the escape. At least that's what he thought. 

"Sorry about that." 

"It's okay. We've all been here for a very long time, now weren't we? We lose our cool and act like total assholes."

"Direct and straight to the point I see." his deadpan voice could be heard from the other side of the bars. 

"'Been raised this way, for the better or worse." it didn't sound like she was bragging, yet it felt like she was just talking about herself, honest and confident, to cover up what she felt was wrong. The incoming topic which she'd rather avoid. 

The villainess didn't want to open up about her past, so she just answered his question. 

"I killed people beyond counting, following AFO's orders. He always wished to become the world's greatest demon lord and thus promised us enormous change in the hero society. So in order to achieve that, he needed his underlings. And that's how I ended up here."

"You were loyal till the end."

"You know what they say; there can be no progress nor achievement without certain sacrifice."

Wise beyond her years and just as sad. He wondered how her face looked like, how the world's been treating her. 

"I had my own sacrifices as well."

"Do you regret them?"

...

"I do." 

Now it was her turn to snort "Really? And I thought that people situated this low couldn't have regrets. You remember what they said about us. 'Beasts in human clothing', 'Simply dreadful beings'." 

He felt insulted, maybe the things she said were true but it's not like he was anything similar to these pigs he shared the same air with, unfortunately.

"I regret hurting the person important to me. The old man who once took me in when I was very young. He was the infamous boss of Shie Hassaikai." 

Something clicked in her, it's such a small world they're living in, "Yakuza? I know you guys. We used to trade with you back in the days."

"Todou Gang?" 

"You said it."

"But... you were a force to be reckoned with. One day you just collapsed and not a single trace could be found. According to certain sources, there was no way anyone could determine the exact cause of your downfall. So what happened?" 

"I killed them all." 

... 

"AFO told me to kill them to prove my loyalty to him and, of course, to make sure that there was no one I could turn to other than himself." 

For some questionable reasons, and he didn't dare to admit that it was empathy he felt towards a random stranger and a former gang member he shared some history with, Overhaul wanted to fill the silence that lingered between them. Perhaps, because he felt guilty for making her reveal more than what she initially intended. 

"I used pops' niece, a 6-year-old girl who had an extraordinary Quirk; it allowed her to rewind a person's body back to a certain state. That means she could put a body back to before it was injured or before the person even developed a Quirk. With that, I wanted to create a Quirk-erasing drug to get rid of the Quirk society altogether and to make sure that yakuza could rise once again. I cut her skin every day to take blood samples and to test her regenerative abilities. However, pops didn't approve of it, so I handicapped him to the bed and planned on waking him up the moment I realized my plan, to make him proud of the achievement. Unfortunately, it didn't play out as I wanted and I never reached him."

The silence followed and the woman wore a disheartening smile on her face. It's not the answer she expected, she didn't ask for another sad story from another messed up person she's met in her life. But the intentions were pure and for her, it was good enough. 

"We both fought for something only to lose it all, huh?" she laughed, but it was prominent in her tone that it was bittersweet. 

"At least you're brought here in one piece." 

"At least you can still revive your parent."

Were they comforting each other? Were they jealous of each other? Were they wallowing in self-pity? They couldn't tell. The only thing they certainly could was the embarrassment they felt from the moment they realized that some of the prisoners were eavesdropping and making fun of their vulnerabilities. See? That's what they hated the most about opening up about themselves; they were worried about their feelings being perceived as a joke. The only way to protect themselves was to rise up the walls and never let anyone get closer, except they didn't regret exchanging a word or two, as long as it was the two of them. 

The next day, 8:34PM Mainland-side entrance, the guardians of 'The Bronze Gate' announced a code red security lockdown. Panic and shouting could be heard from across the hall and the security alarm announced the potential danger. 

"Close any and all passageways on each floor. All workers are to enforce strict measures to maintain order."

"The surveillance system is down! It seems like we've been hit by some sort of EMP attack!"

Static waves were spreading around the metal frames and the prison doors of the isolation block unlocked. Overhaul could hear the commotion outside and the villains leaving their cells in a hurry, but as much as he tried, he couldn't push the heavy doors open.

"3 seconds until we're back online- wait... What the... With the system down we can't monitor the inside!"

"Nice, 3 seconds be damned." he beat the door with his legs, pushed the surface with his shoulders, leaned all of his weight on the godforsaken thing just so it could finally open. Nothing. It seems like he lost a couple of pounds during his stay here. He couldn't believe his eyes, this couldn't be happening to him. After all this time of patient waiting and hoping to meet pops once again, it turns out he'd be the only one still trapped and all because he didn't have any hands. He panicked, he really couldn't decide on what to do next. But then he remembered-

"Go beat your head against the bars, loser."

That's it! This might be his only chance to escape! He didn't have much time left though, he could hear the shooting nearby so he definitely needed to hurry.

"The system won't come back on!! The ones in solitary confinement are breaking out!! Inside!"

"Control unit's on site!! Execute lockdown in the isolation block!"

"Follow procedure! If even one of them steps a foot outside their cell-"

"Fire!! Open fire!!"

Muscular threw whatever he could find in this messed up place back at them, excitement prominent in his big smile "You ain't gonna kill me with those puny toys! So how about you show me the exit already?!" 

Other villains were joining him, still overwhelmed by the sudden freedom they've been given "Dammit... After all that time..."

"Meat..." Moonfish mumbled as he cut his opponents with his blade-like teeth. 

The villain lady joined them in the run, still carefully examining her surroundings in case they were tricked into something, "The system isn't responding to my Quirk. 'Guess Tartarus really is falling." 

As she was running down the corridor, she could hear beating noises coming from one of the doors. It sounded dull so the person must have been using their head. 

"Eh, don't tell me the idiot actually listened to my advice. He must be desperate." 

She came to the doors and turned the circular lock in a hurry. She really didn't want to stay in this place any longer, but she couldn't leave him behind either. It's not like she could use him for anything since he was basically handless and Quirkless so why was she doing it? She didn't have an answer. Maybe it was their talk from the other day, maybe because they were both gang members with a history, maybe because of her regrets and her wish to do something right for once. Or maybe because she was just this kind. Nah, this couldn't be it, she never did anything in her life that didn't require a certain purpose. She cast her heart aside a long time ago and did what was necessary for the accomplishment of the mission. It would be weird if she suddenly started using her heart again, now wouldn't it? She was AFO's personal assassin, there was simply no way. 

He came out of the room with eyes wide in puzzlement. He was finally free and ready to find pops so he could possibly revive him and try to fix things as much as he could.

They looked at each other for the first time. They never said it aloud, godforbid, but they liked the other's eyes. And perhaps the eyes were a window to a person's soul, their broken souls, tormented by the life's temptations. They were still so young, probably in their twenties, and yet they looked older at the same time. Maybe because of the seriousness in their faces, their stronger stance, the way they defied their fate. They were destined to fall apart, no one would argue with it, but circumstances drove them to take action and rise from the bottomless chasm. And now they had each other. 

"We need to get out of here," she stated and pulled him by the sleeve that hung loosely from his shoulder. They escaped Tartarus and raided a small shop near the coast to change clothes and to mingle into the public unnoticed. She quickly picked out a dress and threw herself at work while Overhaul was still standing by the shop display, looking out for the potential intruders.

He couldn't erase the thought of this being some sort of a really weird first date; the girl coming out of the stall and the guy examining her looks. He shook his head, he never had this kind of thoughts in his entire life. He needed to pull himself together. 

The bob-hair came out and adjusted the ammo on her utility belt. He looked at her from the corner and she was stunning; intimidating with a tad bit of femininity in design. He stood there and watched how good it fit her curvy form. The thoughts wandering in his head sounded so wrong, terribly wrong. He needed to bring himself to stop. 

"Oh right, I almost forgot." she took a shirt off the shelf and came to him, showing him the garment in her hands "You need a little help, right?" 

"Sure.'' his voice was small and he stood still while she undid his buttons. Maybe from the outside he looked completely calm, but from the inside he was a complete mess. He looked at her face and wondered if she knew, the kind of effect she's having on him. She raised her head and he looked to the side, there's no way he could look her in the eyes at this point. He hoped she didn't notice. 

"You like this one, don't you?" she asked, filling the awkward silence. 

"Looks don't matter, the most important thing is to change and avoid getting caught." She looked annoyed. Great. He wanted to shove his head though the wall. Wait… Why was he thinking that? 

"I choose the clothes I like. It makes me feel better in my skin."

"You look good in it."

She looked at him surprised and he quickly corrected himself "the dress looks good."

"Sure." she trailed off and put the new shirt over his shoulders. She could feel his muscles tensing. This was probably because of the cool air, she assured herself. 

"Why did you break me out of Tartarus? It's not like I could be of any use to you." 

She buttoned up his shirt and fixed the wrinkled parts on the garment, hand accidentally brushing over the left side of his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

Well... that was a surprise.

"I thought that maybe you could be of some use to the demon lord. Not Quirk-wise, but you may offer a valuable set of information. Something that the demon lord would appreciate greatly." she could feel it slowing down and her heart dropped just as much.

"But also because I... liked you."

He looked at her incredulously and she smiled. She pinched him to bring him out of the trance and he complained. "Don't be awkward, say something."

"I like you too... I, this is my first time I ever said this to anyone. It's weird."

She slapped him gently on the shoulder and he reached to take it but, yea, no hands.

"What the hell?"

"You're the one who's weird. But I guess that I like you this way." she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek "Ew, you should definitely shave though. No doubt about it."

The former yakuza boss swore; he'll never understand women. But for some reason he couldn't deny that he was particularly drawn to this one. He wondered if pops would approve of her.

[cosmicjoke]

Alright, chapter 133 of SnK!

I’ve got a few things I want to talk about here.

One of the things that always strikes me about Levi as a character, indeed, one of his defining character traits, is his coolness under pressure.  His calm demeanor, no matter the circumstances.  One of the interesting things to go into is WHY Levi is like this.  

We see it particularly exemplified in this chapter, I think, and there’s a few examples.  For one, they’ve all just lost Hange as their friend and Commander, and this loss particularly impacts and affects Levi, since he was closer with Hange than any of them.  But rather than allowing his grief to consume and paralyze him, Levi immediately begins trying to contribute when Armin says he wants to go over the plan, bringing up Hange’s theory about Zeke and how killing him might stop the Rumbling, etc...  Then Eren transports them to Paths, and everyone reacts with shock and awe, except Levi, who’s expression is duly unimpressed and unsurprised.  We see this from Levi throughout the series, of course.  Situations that present themselves, new and frightening circumstances which throw everyone for a loop and send people into panic, Levi reacts to with calm collectedness, a distinct LACK of surprise or fear.  He really does stand in sharp contrast with everyone else in this situation.  Everyone there is a seasoned war veteran, at this point, they’ve all been through and seen some truly horrific things.  But they still react with a kind of frantic uncertainty here.  They then begin to plead with Eren, Armin and the rest trying to convince him through any means possible, to stop the Rumbling.  They try to bargain with him, show him empathy, make promises, etc...  They make their desperation obvious by saying whatever they think will appeal to Eren.  Levi is the only one who, I think, is fully honest here.  He tells Eren that if he stops now, he’ll let him off with JUST an ass-kicking.  Levi doesn’t try to placate Eren, or show him sympathy, or empathy, he doesn’t try to be gentle or handle Eren with kid gloves.  He tells him flat out he’s going to beat his ass for what he’s done, but he’ll show him some leniency for stopping by not killing him outright.  The thing is, I think Levi’s known from the start of this whole disaster that talking to Eren wasn’t going to work.  Everyone else was holding out hope that if they could just speak with Eren, he would stop, that they could convince him through words.  But like I talked about in my last post, Levi is someone who’s just seen and experienced too much of life’s brutality and unfairness to blind himself to bleak reality.  When the 104th goes running off after Eren appears to them, to try and reach him, Levi just sits down in the sand and has that resigned expression once more, and his expression continues to show a total lack of surprise when Eren puts the 104th back where they started, before they could ever even get close. Levi isn’t surprised, or even dismayed, I don’t think, at Eren’s refusal to talk, because I think he always knew he wouldn’t be willing to.  That he wouldn’t be interested in hearing anyone’s pleas or promises.  I think Levi always knew Eren was hellbent on this course of action, and it was more or less hopeless, trying to appeal to him.  And once again, I have to restate, I think it’s because Levi’s just experienced too much hardship in his life to cling to false hopes.  He’s world-weary and in many ways a realist, someone not given to delusion or fancy.  

I feel like Levi probably glimpsed this uncompromising, hellish bent in Eren back in Liberio, his mercenary compulsion to follow through on whatever plan he had, which is why Levi was so disgusted by him on the airship back then.  He saw a lack of mercy in Eren, and it reminded him of the brutes Levi grew up with in the Underground.  Not just a willingness, but a desire to take from others to satisfy himself.  It’s why, when they’re all transported back to the plane, while everyone else looks horrified and in shock at Eren’s refusal to talk, Levi looks as unflustered as ever, and states with a matter of fact tone that negotiations are over, before asking Armin what it is they do now.  None of this is surprising to Levi.

Levi’s look of despair throughout this final arc continues to strike me as his resignation in the ugliness of humanity and the useless, pointless suffering they inflict on one another.  He’s depressed, and disappointed, because everything happening around them is only a confirmation of all the worst things Levi saw and experienced, growing up.

All this ties into another point I want to discuss, which is Levi’s relationship with Jean, actually.  I’ve found the relationship between the two of them really interesting since way back in the Uprising arc, when Jean was the most vocal in condemning Levi for his violence, declaring with certainty that he would never kill another person.  Jean is disabused of his moralistic superiority not long after that, when he learns first hand the consequences of sticking to ones morals uncompromisingly, nearly losing his life, and forcing Armin to take a life for him.  And it’s Jean who we see, again and again from that point on in the series, grappling with and coming to terms with this difficult lesson.  We see Jean’s respect for Levi, and his understanding towards Levi, grow greatly, after this incident, and Jean himself having to grow, to change and accept that sacrifices are inevitable if one wishes to protect the things and people they care about.  That sometimes even one’s own comfort and moral convictions are necessary sacrifices to achieve those things.  

Levi tells everyone that he’ll take care of Zeke, but admits that he’ll need all of their help to get the job done.  I feel like this is Levi, once again, asking if all of them are ready and willing to get their hands dirty, just like he did before they raided the Cavern underneath the Church on the Reiss property.  He knows he can’t do this job by himself (which is just further testament to Levi’s strength of character, an ability to admit to weakness), but he wants to make sure everyone else is alright with plunging in to a situation in which they’re going to be forced to kill.  Jean is the first to answer, telling Levi and all of them that he’s not going to let the sacrifices they’ve already made, the people they’ve killed in order to get where they are, be in vain, and that he’ll do whatever it takes to stop the Rumbling.  This shows incredible character growth on Jean’s part.  He went from someone who claimed that he would, under no circumstances, take another human life, to someone who declares that he’ll do whatever it takes in order to stop the Rumbling, to achieve a greater good.  And I think this growth on Jean’s part ties directly into his relationship with and the influence of Levi.  Levi never judged Jean for being uncomfortable with killing, never criticized or scolded him for it.  He even told Jean that he couldn’t say, one way or the other whether Jean’s beliefs were right or wrong.  That Levi himself didn’t know the answer to that.  He never tried to convince Jean of anything.  He just told him the truth.  That his failure to kill had put the lives of his comrades in danger, including his own, and that it also caused Armin to have to bear the burden of killing another, one which should have been Jean’s own to bear.  All of that is absolutely true.  And it was really through this lack of judgment on Levi’s part that, I think, Jean was able to grow and expand his own views on killing, and adjust and allow for there to be circumstances in his world view which would justify taking another life.  He wasn’t forced by anyone to change his views.  He changed them based on experience and through Levi explaining to him that there is no definitive right or wrong answer to be found, and through Levi’s simply being honest with him.  He was telling Jean that it comes down to what one is willing to sacrifice in order to protect the things and people they value.  And Jean learned about himself that he’s willing and able to sacrifice more than he ever realized.

But it’s still a struggle, and something all of them, even at this point in the story, continue to battle themselves over.  We see Connie struggling in particular this chapter, looking anguished over what he had to do back at the port.  It’s only Levi who accepts that brutal reality of kill or be killed with a calm understanding, and I think this is probably because, unlike the rest of them, who all had peaceful, probably relatively easy and happy childhoods, without any exposure to violence or real cruelty, Levi, I think it can be safely assumed, probably took his first life while he was still a boy.  And doubtless, that was due to desperate circumstances.  Levi’s life has been one filled with uncertainty.  Growing up in extreme poverty, he never could have known with any certainty where his next meal would come from, or when.  Never knew with any certainty whether he could find proper shelter for the night, or a safe place to sleep.  Never knew with any certainty whether he would be assaulted, or robbed, or if someone would attempt to take his life.  Levi’s life has been one of desperation and a true, unforgiving struggle to simply survive.  And so while all of his comrades have seen and experienced the horrors of war with him, none of them can know with the same level of understanding that true kind of desperation of simply trying to live day to day, that kind of awful and overwhelming uncertainty and fear of not knowing if you’ll be alive from one day to the next.  It’s those kinds of experiences in life that really separate Levi from the rest of his comrades, and in a lot of ways, isolate him from them.  It’s why the extremity of their circumstances and the desperation of their situation in this final arc continually shocks and overwhelms them, but Levi regards it all with his usual, if deeply saddened, calm.

[fanficgirl104]

Writing prompt: "Do you want me to leave? "

~~~~~

Adrien noticed there was something wrong with Marinette. She wasn't as joyfull or bubbly as usual, she looked as thought she was bored.

When he tried talking to her she answered his questions shortly and didn't try to make conversation like she usually does. Also, she didn't even statter once.

At first he thought it had something to do with him, but he noticed that she didn't even talk to Alya. Even Chloe didn't try to make a witty remark on the bags under Marinette's eyes. She had stayed quiet, which is unusual. As though she understood what was going on.

During last period Adrien remembered who Marinette would actually talk to. A certain black cat who liked visiting her from time to time. When school was finally over he looked over to Marinette to see her gathering he things and leaving with her head down.

He grabbed Alya's shoulder before she left. "Hey, do you know what's wrong with Mari? " He asked and Alya frowned "No. She won't tell me. She keeps saying she is fine even though it's obvious that she is not and won't let me help. Sorry Adrien she won't talk to me. I don't know why. She even asked me not to go over to her place." Adrien nodded sadly and let the redhead go.

His bodyguard walked him to the car and he could not stop thinking about Marinette. He has known her for a little more that three years now and even thought he still loves Ladybug very much, he learned to get over her and move on. That was when the sweet girl with the pigtails, a girl he considered one of his best friends, his every-day-ladybug, as he once called her, made her way into his heart.

He was visiting her as chat noir and they would talk and talk for hours. They would look at the sky and the stars. She knew a lot about them, something he recently found out, they would drink hot chocolate and share a blanket when it got cold. She would comfort him and make him feel loved and accepted for exactly who he was. Not the perfect model and shy friend everyone else thinks him to be. But the funny, adventurous, clown he really is. She would even laugh at his silly cat puns sometimes.

He thought back to the first time he realised he was in love with her.

---

It was just a normal day at school for him. No akuma attacks, no sudden explosions or anything of the kind. Just a normal, boring school day when he heard Kim talking to Max.

"Oh please! Ladybug is doing all the work, Chat Noir is just a useless idiot who makes mistakes and hold her back." He said naming Adrien's biggest fear. That he was useless, that Ladybug didn't need him. That he was holding her back. That he was vulnerable.

He looked around to find Marinette looking a second before realising smoke from her ears. Face red, if looks could kill Marinette would have tortured, brutally killed, brought back to life and killed him again. Alya was holding her arm like if she let go Mari would attack Kim like a rabid dog.

"I mean what kind of idiot almost gets his partner killed, and himself?! He is the worst partner anyone could have. He only brings bad luck. She would be better off without him, or she should at least look for a better partner." Kim said chuckling. Adrien wanted to crawl away and cry like a stray baby cat who had been hit by a bus and survived.

He almost missed the blue-black haired girl that was making her way to Kim angrily.

"EXCUSE ME?!?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR ARE EQUALS IF NOT HE IS BETTER!!!! HE MAY HAVE MADE A FEW MISTAKES BUT SHE HAS TOO. HE HAS SAVED HER LIFE MULTIPLE TIMES PUTTING HIS AT RISK WITHOUT HESITATION!!! SHE MAY BE ABLE TO PURIFY THE AKUMAS BUT SHE WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO DEFEAT THE VILLAINS ON HER OWN!!! SHE WOULD BE DEAD THE MOMENT SHE EVEN TRIED TO TAKE THEM DOWN ON HER OWN!!!!! HE IS AN AMAZINGLY KIND PERSON WITH THE BIGGEST HEART, HE IS SINCERE, HE IS GENEROUS, HE IS BRAVE, HE IS THE GREATEST PARTNER SHE COULD HAVE EVER ASKED FOR!!! SHE IS THE ONE THAT DOESN'T DESERVE HIM!!! SHE WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT HIM!!! IT IS SAD HOW EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT HER WHEN HE IS THE ONE GETTING THE HITS AND RISKING HIS LIFE TO SAVE US!! SHE WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITHOUT HIM!!! AND DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT ABOUT HIM EVER AGAIN!! YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!! "

Adrien was sure the whole of Paris had heard her. He could stop smiling and blushing at what she had said. Did she really think that. He was close enough to hear Lila day something like "Of course trash likes trash. The most useless person on the planet would of course like the useless superhero. " He was so close to hissing at her. Like she had insulted something of his. But since when did he consider Marinette his?

He passed by her house that night to find her on her balcony curled up in a blanket holding two cups of hot chocolate. Waiting for him.

"Hello purrr-ncess. How are you in this lovely day? " He asked making an overly dramatic bow. She rolled her eyes at him playfully. "Why it had been great my kind knight. " She slightly bowed her head at him playing along.

He sat beside her, taking a sip, looking at his feet. "So, I was passing by your school.. And I heard an argument you had with K-a guy. I've been meaning to ask. Did you mean all that princess? " He hesitantly asked. Marinette turned around to look at him. She put her chocolate at the small table and cuped his face with both her hands making him look at her. "Of course I did. Every word." He averted his eyes "I didn't think I would actually matter to someone that's all. "

"You matter Kitty. You matter to a lot of people. You matter to me. " She said making him look at her shocked. He noticed how her eyes where a piercing blue in the moonlight, impossible not to notice them sparkling. Her eyes sparkle when she talks about something that she loves. He saw how her hair looked almost midnight blue when light hit them. He saw her smile. A smile that was for him. A smile he said to himself that he wanted to see everyday.

She kissed his cheek and hugged him. He felt his pulse quickening, he felt warm and at peace. Like he wanted to hold her forever. To freeze time. That was when he knew. He knew that girl was a criminal, she had stolen his heart.

---

With Marinette

"I'm tired Tikky. I'm so so tired. I can't do this anymore it's too much!! " Marinette was sobbing on her bed. She was just so sick of everything. Having to deal with school, being ladybug, being a guardian, having to lie to everyone around her. She feels like she lost her entire life. It has been three years! She was 17 going to 18. She feels as though her life ended three and a half years ago. She has lost her sleep.

Tikky was trying to comfort her any way possible but all Marinette wanted was to be left alone. On top of everything she had to deal with moving on from Adrien and her broken heart, her newfound feelings for chat noir, her «break up» with Luka and getting fed up with all the romance crap.

She was still crying softly when she heard someone tapping on her window. "Princess? " She heard Chat's voice. She remembered he promised to come by. After a minute without an answer he knocked again. "Princess?... If you don't answer in the next minute I'm coming in." He said.

Tikky begged Marinette with her eyes. She could almost hear the creature saying 'you need to talk to someone.'

She heard her window open. Apparently it had been a minute and he was worried. He thought something had happened to her. He saw her curled up on her bed her back facing him. "Princess?" He asked.

"Chat don't-dont look at me.. " She already felt insecure and her, well, maybe, crush seeing her a crying mess was not something she liked. "Why princess I bet you look beautiful, like you always do." He complimented. She didn't know that he actually ment it. That he thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever layed his eyes on. That every time she had her hair down during the nights he visited it took his breath away every time. That he thought she had the most beautiful smile that could light up an entire room. That he thought everything about her was beautiful.

He went closer to her bed while she hesitantly turned. And slightly sat up not looking at him. "Really? " She asked. She felt like such a little girl. Vulnerable. She felt disgusting like she was fishing for compliments. She is ladybug dammit. She doesn't need anyone to tell her she is pretty.

He cuped her face the way she had that night. The night he knew. He looked into her eyes and whispered "beautiful." Her slightly red nose and puffy glossy eyes gave away that she was crying. Yet he thought she looked amazing. He wiped her tears and placed his forehead against hers "what's wrong princess? " She started crying again and hugged him tightly.

"In just so tired chat. It's just too much. The responsibility is too much I can't deal with it. Everything is in the air! Nothing is in order. Nothing has a program. I am 17 and a half Chat! I've been doing this for three and a half years!! I've been lying to everyone for three and a half years. I'm saying I'm fine but I'm not chat. I'm not at all. I just want it all to stop. I just want to be alone.I can't do this chat. I'm not strong enough. "

Chat felt something inside him break. The girl that he thought was one of the strongest people he knew just broke into his chest. He didn't know what she was talking about him but he didn't really care. She would tell him when she was ready. Part of him wanted to comfort her. To keep her in his arms and let her know that it was okay to feel like this. But after the words 'I just want to be alone. ' he could help but think he was included so when she broke the hug he had to ask.

"Do you want me to leave? "

She looked at his through her lashes she didn't speak for a moment and he got nervous. He didn't want to leave her in a state like this. "No. No I don't. Please stay.. " She said. She looked tired. "I am. " He reassured her "when was the last time you slept? " He asked "I actually don't remember. " She answered and automatically yawned.

He layed her down and cuddled her. "Sleep princess. I am here now. " He whispered. She rubbed his chest making him purr. How did she know exactly how to do that? He would not find out. And frankly he didn't care. All he cared about was the sleeping girl in his arms. The girl he once thought as just a very good friend. Now he felt like an idiot. All that mattered was that she was in his arms. He would do anything to help her feel better. He didn't care about the cost.

He only cared that he was asleep with the girl he loved.

If only he knew she felt the exact same way...

[wowsoboring]

Deconstructing Baseless Harry Potter Arguments#2 (i) : Harmione Edition

Obviously I once again do not mean to target all Harmione shippers. I know quite a few who're very good human beings and tolerant and accepting above all. However these aren't. In this case, you might sense quite a bit of levelheadedness in the beginning, however you must not be fooled as it goes south and takes a nasty turn very quickly. Don't get your hopes up, this is some of the worst shit I've ever seen, especially the way in which it progresses through its course. Naturally, for this post I have picked my own style of writing which will match that of those redditors. Reddit is the perfect breeding ground for all these weird cults, honestly. I shall be resorting to a formal language and style of conversation, very much like a debater would to sound as pretentious as these do. These posts are found on the instagram handle toxicharmonyshippers who gather such toxic musings and sayings for Harmione shippers while respecting the ones that are nice.

1)

Oh yes, let's use words like 'vehemently' to sound smart, why not? Of course, this little tidbit of the highly stupendous post seems more or less civil at the start. They also have the common decency to say "some Romione shippers" rather than generalizing all of us. Very nice of you, how very saint like. Let's wait till they drop the act and show us their true colors. Harkening back to the argument, I have but one question for you, "where do you find these people?". Where's the proof? Who are these radical Romione shippers who worship Ron and dislike Hermione? I haven't seen any such shippers and I am surrounded by Romione shippers on tumblr, instagram and fan fiction sites as well and haven't met the people you speak of. Some point out her flaws, yes, but no one hates her or dislikes her that much. I have seen two or three Romione shippers across hundreds and thousands who're skeptical of Hermione's perfection. Skeptical. Not hating, disliking, or anything. Of course, unlike this person, I have evidence: find these pi charts for your referral (clickable): https://imgur.com/a/QfPnQbB

you can, through these, see the amount of Hermione bashing across Harry Potter fanfiction and you can see that even in Romione fanfiction there's more Ron bashing. Hermione-bashing is a non-issue. That's what it is. Regarding the "nagging" statement, where's the lie in that? "Annoying" is somewhat subjective, I personally don't find her annoying at all. Who are these people and how often do you find them? "Mary Sue" is only reserved for Movie!Hermione. I have only seen book fans call her that. No one has ever called Book!Hermione Mary Sue. The movie does paint her as a flawless, all-rounder who's also drop-dead gorgeous. Only things she's bad at are flying and divination, all of which she denounces as useless, even though flying is like biking for wizards, divination, sure, not that important. with a teacher like Trelawney, even I would denounce it as hokum.

2)

Remember what I said about waiting for them to show us their true colors, well here they are. Bask in the glory of their senseless arguments. Why, I am from reddit, heck I have 25 thousand karma points on there, I just left because it was too stupid for me but I can argue like them very well. And in this case I would like to say that these people are under the impression that Ron is just there in the story for the sake of existence. And he doesn't work hard. That argument is of course, wrong. Because Ron (in no particular order):

1) fights a troll when he's 11

2) is willing to sacrifice himself when he's 11

3) stands up for his friends

4) makes sure Harry feels like he belongs in the family

5) worries about Harry and rescues him from literal jail

6) stands up against Draco rather than by-standing and enabling his behavior

7) tries his level best to make sure Norbert the dragon is in safe hands and carries it out, albeit not in perfection

8) is with Harry every step of the way in his confronting the basilisk

9) sends Harry and Hermione long letters and calls them often to check up on them

10) stands up on a bitten leg to defend his best friend

11) always apologizes for any of his mistakes and is forgiving when others wrong him

12) works his way to join the Quidditch team unlike Draco who most certainly bought his way in

13) destroys at least 2 horcruxes

14) finds out how to defeat a horcrux

15) has an excellent enough memory and observation to notice Harry speaking parseltongue and also using it to his benefit which proves he's resourceful

now since I have 8 more such pictures to rebut and I do have a life, I will stop. These aren't even a twelfth of the remarkable things Ron has done though, so rest assured.

oh wait what did you say about him just existing and not working for anything? If I recall correctly, he did just as well as Harry did in school and didn't score well only in subjects he didn't care about. Which is true for most people except for Hermione who has an eidetic memory which not everyone has, understandably. Rote memorization is not the best way to get by in life, by the way.

what are the "so many reasons" behind why Harry is the best fit for Hermione? Kindly share so I can rebut those too, I'm rather free nowadays, my finals have been cancelled. You say there are so many reasons but don't even give one, yet you want me to take you seriously. I'm afraid that's impossible.

Romione shipper here, i don't dislike Hermione. I haven't met or seen many people in the book!romione fandom who dislike Hermione (except for Movie!Hermione). The question of someone you like ending up with someone you dislike doesn't particularly make sense. In Friends, Chandler ends up with Monica: now I'm not the biggest Monica fan (I don't hate her but I don't like her very much either) but they are my favorite couple because they make sense. It's about compatibility and character traits, not liking or disliking because that's just a set-up for a ghastly invitation for people to pair up hideousness. "Oh yeah, I like Harry and I also like Hagrid, they should be together. I mean it would be very very disgusting but that's my logic, now, you can't fight it. "- that's how you sound. Please read what you write. Your logic is just...abysmal. That's all I can say without breaking my resolve and berating you with colorful profanities.

3)

This is without the doubt, the easiest one to rebut. It's a delight to see such terrible arguments at my disposal. Come on, dear Harmione shippers, write something that makes me question my choices, not things that make me scoff in disbelief.

In this case, you're essentially providing us with theories. Unproved theories and speculation of what you believe because you'd say anything you like. Where's the proof of your theory, though? Where is that crazy radical Romione shipper who does this? Kindly show me these people. Oh yes, you wanna say we objectify Hermione and disrespect her and view her as a prize. This aches me, that you believe this. No one has ever insinuated this, ever, in the history of anything. What is this winner-loser theory? How do you round off Harry Potter to "an alpha-male ends up with lead-lady" trope and still say you're a fan of the series? Harry Potter doesn't fit in with that format. Ron, Hermione and Harry are co-heroes. Similar to how there's no main character in Friends or the Heroes of Olympus series or the Avengers. We're not living in the 80s anymore. Hermione will be a hero, invariably whether she ends up with Harry, Ron or no one. She ends up with Ron and that's it. Talking about her like this doesn't make you sound any better either. Now you're calling me a misogynist because I don't support the ship of two people who describe themselves as siblings. That's very mature of you. Well here's the thing- I'm not a misogynist. It's as simple as that. I believe that women are capable of anything and everything. I believe Hermione is an amazing person and she is a hero and a different person. I believe the series would be impossible without her. I believe she is no one's prize. There's no requirement of a prize. I just think, similar to canon and the truth and her romantic interest, she will have a great relationship with Ron. There's nothing complex or deep about it, really. No personal weird-thing, no psychological complex, no internalized misogyny. There's nothing deeper than what I said. I am not sexist. I am a feminist. I am all for women empowerment. I love women with the fabric of my being. I love Hermione. I think she's amazing. You only become sexist when you ship people with unstable power dynamics, a bully-victim relation or something of the sort. Neither Romione, nor Harmione are sexist. Heck if you paired Neville with Hermione you wouldn't be sexist. And I hate talking about this so much, I can't even tell you. This talk does make it sound like I treat Hermione like an object and I assure you I respect her and I normally won't talk like this unless someone just outright calls me sexist for something that's not sexist. And this is that situation.

4)

in the case of Romione, no one is too good for anyone. Both are amazing people who're heroes and have done amazing work. That's all I have to say. There's no league, they are romantically interested in each other. I have no intention on sounding lame, but, in love there is no league. As long as you're not putting in any effort and are extremely lazy and leech off of your partner, there is no such concept and no, Hermione is not "too good" for him. Unless of course you're talking about movie Hermione, who is too good for anyone.

5) (halftime!)

oh yes they try to pull this off and wonder why we hate them. Classic. This person likes to sound british, so let's switch up our language, yeah? At least then I won't be out of my element. Let me correct ya, Ron at his best is an amazing, loyal, friendly, brave, strategic hero. There you have it. Ron and 'git' can't be used in the same sentence. Now if you talk about Ron's achievements, I re-iterate you to point two. If it's too much work, here:

1) fights a troll when he's 11

2) is willing to sacrifice himself when he's 11

3) stands up for his friends

4) makes sure Harry feels like he belongs in the family

5) worries about Harry and rescues him from literal jail

6) stands up against Draco rather than by-standing and enabling his behavior

7) tries his level best to make sure Norbert the dragon is in safe hands and carries it out, albeit not in perfection

8) is with Harry every step of the way in his confronting the basilisk

9) sends Harry and Hermione long letters and calls them often to check up on them

10) stands up on a bitten leg to defend his best friend

11) always apologizes for any of his mistakes and is forgiving when others wrong him

12) works his way to join the Quidditch team unlike Draco who most certainly bought his way in

13) destroys at least 2 horcruxes

14) finds out how to defeat a horcrux

15) has an excellent enough memory and observation to notice Harry speaking parseltongue and also using it to his benefit which proves he's resourceful

hey, see, I like Ron and I took the time to copy-paste this instead of asking you to scroll up. And I'm a lot of bad things but I am not lazy. I stick to my deadlines like Hermione. I start my homework in library class and continue it during phys ed the day its given. And I am not exaggerating. Bloody hell, I wish I was. I'm the ceo of deadlines, mate, don't tempt me! So you can see that Ron is much more than just a "nice bloke". And being a "nice bloke" isn't a bad thing either. He's all the things I said: intuitive, strategic, helpful, loyal and on top of that he's also a nice person. Yes, I do see a bit of myself in Ron. I do. I see the insecure side. I waste my time hating myself and criticizing myself and undermining myself, telling me I'm no good. But Ron overcomes that. He inspires me to appreciate myself. Is that a bad thing? Are you going to shame me for having a low self-esteem? Do you want to worsen my low self-esteem and make me feel more like shit?

Now the person who replied to your comment saying, "he isn't a nice bloke most of time.", he is. He is not being nice twice in a span of 7 years. How often do you act rudely or with jealousy? Wasn't Harry yelling at everyone in caps lock in OOTP. Now I don't condemn him for that because he's a fucking hormonal teenager like me and that would make me a hypocrite, but by your logic why don't you condemn him? Or why not condemn Hermione for saying "I only date good Quidditch players" and shoving canaries at Ron's face because someone else kissed him, while she kept using Krum and Cormac to make him jealous. She wasn't being a nice girl, then, was she? Now, once again, i don't dislike her or hold that against her because guess what, mate, I'm a hormonal teenage girl who gets jealous most of the time and would probably react in a similar fashion in the spur of the moment (Not defending her actions here, just putting myself in her shoes.) In short, Ron is a nice bloke MOST OF THE TIME.

6)

It would be misogynistic to think that. The thing is, NO ONE DOES my dear friend! My dear daft friend. I have never heard anyone say that! why are you so hell-bent on portraying us as misogynists when no one ever says that? Stop assuming. Just stop. You are crossing a limit here, aren't you? Yes you are. You cannot say these sort of things. We never said that or believed that, no one ever said this to be a reason to ship Romione. God what is wrong with you? Literally, stop fucking ASSUMING god damn it! Do you want me to assume things about Harmione shippers? Do you want me to go there? Because I will go there! I will go there the moment you tell me to. Just challenge me.

Ron is not a perfect best boi , the reason why so many of us like him is that he's imperfect and tries to become better through the course of time. You are once again assuming and I am once again asking you to stop.

Ron might be an ordinary wizard. He might be poor, sure, but he's a pure-blood and won't face much if he chose not to fight. But he did. He fought. Now I identify with Ron's attitude a fair bit, but I am also likely to spend my day in a library without noticing. People aren't one dimensional. Stop trying to act like you're a psychologist, i know you're not. I don't even think Hermione's overbearing at all! You just insulted someone you're a big fan of. Jesus.

Both Hermione and Ron are strategic, jealous, passionate, feisty, argumentative, intellectual...

that's like 6 similarities. They aren't polar opposites in the slightest. Their differences are just: workaholic, not workaholic. Nerd, not a nerd. Like that's fucking it, man!

8)

being relaxed doesn't make you less independent or driven. A relaxed and levelheaded Hermione will think through things, not be impulsive, not panic etc. She doesn't need Ron. I don't understand your obsession with acting like we ever insinuated that. Then she doesn't need Harry either lol. Stop shipping her with Harry, then or like shut the fuck up. Being a bit relaxed won't stop her or anyone from hitting great strides. Just don't get relaxed to the point you're lazy and casual about everything, that's it.

9)

What do you mean? Ron is balanced. He does finish his work on time. And even if he does procrastinate, she could also help him not and be more driven. Of course, this is an open invitation for you to call me a sexist bitch because I said that she could help him and now you'll think her goal is to help him become better yada yada yada. Fuck off. Defeating the horcrux taught him enough. He respected her. He remembered about the elves when she didn't. He begged to be tortured instead of her. He wouldn't need it because school work and jobs are different and the same person might perceive those differently. Calmness and relaxation doesn't hinder your potential. Not caring and laziness does. You can't function if you work and are stressed 24/7 with zero breaks. Period.

10)

No i do not want (nor does anyone want) Hermione to become Ron. Being slightly calmer doesn't change up your personality. I'm sure many people dislike those sort of fanfics without a doubt. I hate OOC and I don't want Hermione to lose her intellect with Ron because that makes no sense. Ron himself is intellectual and loves arguing with her. They'd boost each other, more like it.

-------

okay thats it i am exhausted as fuck. thanks for reading, i appreciate it. notes and reblogs are appreciated, this takes work.

[silvia7272]

Miraculess Ladybug Salt AU: You Always Liked To Play With Fire ~ The Prologue

Hey everyone, this is a new story I wanted to introduce to you all.

I’ve been putting everything in a massive word doc because I had so many ideas and finally settled on putting it out today because it's my birthday. 29th, I may have updated it late.

Yay.

So as a special treat, here’s a new series with a few original characters, ones you know or have been changed ever so slightly to fit, in a Miraculess world. (haha, you see what I did there? No… I’ll leave)

Also for anyone new, I’m a multi-shipper so I ship my characters with a bunch of other people, as I like Lukanette (Fandom Version), Daminette (Fandom Version), Felinette (PV Fandom Version), Marichat (Fandom Version) and I guess Rosannette. What’s Rosannette? Well, I guess you’ll have to find out, won’t you? (also no that’s not a typo, it is Rosannette)

Also, I guess this will just have the usual salt, maybe more, I don’t know. I kinda want it to just be about these two.

Word Count: 3912

Note: I haven’t tagged anyone just in case, this is a different series from my other, I just got really excited and wanted to write it. If you still wish to be tagged for this story please say and specify.

Also: This is a salt story, it will have OOC moments from everyone so it will be classed as an AU. If you don’t want to read that’s fine, and have a nice day.

Well, I hope you’ll enjoy it.

This is for all the people that might prefer Rosinette (like from the songfic) instead, I don’t mind but it won’t be in my main series, so I hope this will satisfy you.

(Word of warning, I believe this will be an AU where the Miraculous don’t exist, and non-canon to my official story and I believe mentions of a panic attack might be lightly mentioned, don’t know if it is, but if someone could check and I’ll make the warning clearer that would be nice)

Summary: 

(Fire doesn't exactly have anything to do with this story I just really liked the title)

Note: This book contains OOC scenes of Miraculous Ladybug as well as a ton of salt, so if you don't like that stuff you may scroll past and have a nice day.

In a world with no Miraculous, no Hawkmoth and no Ladybug, how does our little heroine do?

Well, it usually would be hanging out with her friends, as any other teenager would do...

But, of course, this wasn't normal. 

This was reality. It was cold, hard and definitely not welcome.

So, when this girl wishes to have some kind of adventure in her boring, mundane life...

How long does it take for her to regret it?

***

Memories, it's such a simple word yet it holds so much meaning. One could either wish to forget everything from their life, and simply move forward so they could pursue their dreams. Or, simply relish in the past when they remembered how great it was, all the friends they had made, all the moments they had which were too good to let go.

.

But, I guess sometimes, you did have to let go. But let go of what exactly? Let go of all the happiness once you knew how it would end? No that would be too harsh and you’d turn bitter. Let go of all the sadness? But, wasn’t it an important life lesson to learn, sometimes, you just have to be sad because of the situation at hand. No amount of croissants or macarons would be able to lift your spirits back.

.

Or maybe that was too much of a specific example.

That was what Marinette had thought, staring at an empty glass so intently the man behind made himself disperse from the amount of time the unblinking woman just stared and never flinched.

She guessed it hadn’t all been bad, she at least had some form of happiness before it was violently ripped away, but part of her wondered, what would’ve happened if she never felt that type of happiness before? Would she have felt like she had for so long, was it the fact that she knew what being happy was like before worse? Because, as depressing as it sounded, if she hadn’t been as happy, would she have been as upset?

She would never know, she couldn’t go back in time since that was impossible, but the thought always came and went whenever she was alone with her thoughts.

So… Maybe it was for the best, that she was able to remember what real happiness felt like.

The tight feeling in your chest, butterflies in your stomach, face being so red anyone would worry if the bluenette had caught a cold instead-

Wait- this was an oddly specific kind of happiness she felt, surely she must’ve gotten mixed up with some other felling right?

Right!?

So, how come she was feeling this- incredibly bright heat from her cheeks when she felt a hand on her shoulder?

We may need to go back several years.

***

In a classroom in Collège Françoise Dupont, a young pigtailed girl sat at the back, tears silently falling onto her knees and bawled up fists. She didn’t see any use of wiping them away, since they would just come back anyway, and it would be useless to just repeat that endless cycle. She hadn’t looked around to see anyone else’s faces, they would either just ignore her, or taunt her for just crying, for just being human.

Now you may be wondering why she was so upset? What possibly could’ve happened to make our very cheerful and sunshiny girl become so hunched over she was practically crying her eyes out? Well, the answer lies on the one girl at the front. The one girl sitting in an all too familiar place. The one girl who just ruined all of her newfound friendships.

Lila Rossi.

And boy had she hated that name.

She couldn’t stand that smirk, that thief, that scandal!

And what exactly did she do?

.

She lied.

Now you may be thinking that may not have been all that bad, but it was.

Every time she opened her mouth, everyone would fawn around her, even Alix, the one who seriously couldn’t care about anything to do with glamourous celebrities, was hanging on the edge of her seat to hear one of Lila’s so-called stories. She just had to guess Lila held up a treat over her head to keep her being obedient enough.

She hated Lila so much because she was just using everyone to get an easy life at school, the fastest way towards popularity she guessed, but why she thought this was the fastest way was beyond her.

She hated Lila because she had spread so many lies, so many rumours, all about her. All so out of the realm it was such a surprise they all believed her without a shred of evidence.

It had happened so fast, one day, they were all friends, smiling and laughing like there was no tomorrow, the next, she was surrounded by those faces, those faces of disgust and hatred. As if she had committed even the worst of crimes, more so than Chloé, speaking of, who was absolutely enjoying this show.

But undoubtedly. What she hated about Lila the most.

.

Was that technically, she didn’t have to do that much.

After so many sessions of crying, and just not believing that they could possibly leave her, a friend, like that, she started to reason with herself, that maybe it wasn’t just Lila that pushed them all away.

She thought back to before.

Before they were friends, before Alya even came to Collège, she had been alone. Chloé had always gone out of her way to relentlessly bully her, and no one wanted to be friends with her with Chloé around. So she accepted it, just hoping one day, karma would seek justice and she’d be put in her place.

So she waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And-

Gave up.

She accepted defeat after all the years. After the meaningless conversations with teachers that she should try and be the bigger person and rise above all of her hatred for her. Simply because they couldn’t do anything. They had no power over the mayor's Daughter. So they just let her continue her reign over the school.

She didn’t have any powers to stop her.

.

But then, a light of hope came.

The new girl, with ombre brown and red hair, glasses and hazel eyes. A striped t-shirt and an undeniable Aura that reeked of confidence.

As Marinette was being targeted by Chloé yet again, she came in, and for once, stood up to her. Chloé! No fear in her eyes as she, Alya, grabbed her, Marinette’s, hand and walked off to the desk at the front.

She couldn’t believe it, someone stood up to Chloé! She thought it had only been a myth, a legend, but that right there, it was real.

They became friends faster than the speed of sound.

And soon, she too was able to stand up for herself. Reclaiming her original seat back, and citing a quote her new friend had said… Then everyone had wanted to become friends… And, she felt ecstatic.

Finally. It finally came. The day she had prayed for had come. She felt nothing but pure joy.

And she didn’t want that feeling to go away.

She was terrified that the feeling would go away.

So, she thought of making sure that feeling wouldn’t go away.

That’s why she made so many ‘spare’ macaroons to give away, she didn’t spend her free nights staying up and making them, no way.

That’s why she provided so many free gifts to her friends. What? Her hand has a plaster, no she just tripped and hit herself, it had nothing to do with the gifts. Don’t worry, try your gloves on, do they fit?

That’s why she was late for class. Huh, no I’m fine, I’m not tired… But I might just rest my eyes for a bit, wake me up when something important happens.

That’s why she was so happy to realise Adrien wasn’t as bad as Chloé, the small gentle soul that he had, to graciously provide her with his own umbrella, how selfless.

And that’s why she held onto the idea of Adrien so much. The idea that he was perfect. The idea that she was in love with him.

So, she held onto it.

No, she clung to that idea because she didn’t want any chance to let go. So, she may have gone a bit overboard, with the whole, schedule thing, and the phone… And the schemes. But she believed it was harmless. No one else seemed to have any problems with it, so she believed she was in the clear.

Until she wasn’t.

And Lila used that to her advantage.

She remembered that day so vividly, just like all those other memories. The day she came. The day she would find herself in the same predicament from before, it hadn’t been that long since she had been friends with everyone in fact. She was still getting used to it, and her feelings grew as each day passed by.

She remembered when Lila introduced herself to the whole class, and at first glance, anyone would just think she was an innocent little girl. But behind that smile, behind those eyes, held a sinister intention.

She, in less than an hour, had everyone wrapped around her little finger.

Even her.

She’d been on a private jet?

Had a song written about her?

And saved Jagged Stone’s cat?

There was no way Adrien would fall for her now.

…So maybe she had been jealous of that girl before she had done anything. But she had every reason to. She, Lila, was pressed against Adrien who was happily talking to her. The love of her life! She had to do something, even if Alya had given her a disappointed look she just had to stop them from confessing their love to each other, it was inevitable now, so she followed after them to the park. If they even got too close, she was sure she could just conveniently interrupt, she just had to wait for the perfect moment, she only had a couple of hours before they would fall in love, get married, have three kids and a hamster named-

“Wow Adrien, you’re so nice to me. Y’know I really thought moving here would be just like all the other times. But you’ve really made me enjoy my first day Adrien.” She smiled so sickly sweet Marinette wanted to hurl, how dare she just hold onto his arm like that, so affectionately!

“Its no problem Lila, that’s what friends are for.” She smiled, hugging him so fast they almost lost their balance from sitting on the bench, before seemingly giving him a quick peck on his cheek, only for Adrien to turn his head towards her.

And they kissed.

However, it wasn’t a simple quick kiss, by all means, Adrien should’ve realised his mistake and pulled away.

But he didn’t, what felt like forever lasted a minute. One minute to realise that it should’ve been an accident. But they stayed like that.

It- it was over, wasn’t it? This wasn’t her being melodramatic, she just knew how it would turn out. They were going to fall in love so soon, she wouldn’t have a chance.

If only she had seen the look Lila gave, spotting her retreated form from behind a small trash can, the smirk would’ve given her shivers.

***

Getting back to Collège had taken longer than expected. Maybe it was the small amount of dread knowing she may have lost her love for good. Sure, there might have been Kagami as well, she had tried to sabotage her chances with Adrien too, but it always worked out in the end, Adrien always smiling as Kagami’s cheeks burned with redness. But to say they were friends afterwards.

Marinette would cringe at the fact she always felt so relieved afterwards reflecting years later at her choices. But she had always believed she would still have a chance.

Until today.

Lila came, and took him away, within hours.

And she couldn’t stop it.

Walking along the stairs to her class she had to keep her head held high, if she showed weakness, that would mean she was sad, she wasn’t sad, she couldn’t be sad. She still had all of her friends after all.

Maybe now, they could do more activities, after crying and eating a ton of ice cream of course with cheesy movies to brighten her mood up.

But, this would only be the beginning of that negative feeling.

Opening the door, she would be fully aware of something terribly wrong. At the front of the classroom, a crowd had formed, and a crowd that would soon become a routine in this classroom.

But a crowd formed around a girl, the new girl, Lila. She had seemed to be covering her eyes, water dripping down her eyes, no wait they were tears. What had happened?

She didn’t realise she had spoken those few words before heads turned around, looking- no glaring at her, why were they-? What had she done?

“Marinette I knew you could be a tad jealous but to actually do something like that” Huh? Oh no, Lila must’ve noticed she followed them, how embarrassing, and definitely not the best first impression she could’ve made.

Before she could apologise, before she could explain she really didn’t mean any harm. She didn’t have time to.

“To threaten her to never talk to Adrien again because she likes him. Well, I never thought you’d put your jealousy out like this.”

What!?-

No- she didn’t- she, just saw them kiss.

She didn’t even speak with her.

Why would she say this?

Why didn’t she say anything?

Why wasn’t she defending herself?

Why was she letting them believe that so easily?

Why

Why

Why.

.

Why was it so hard to breathe?

Running out of the classroom was easier than looking at all of those faces. Those accusatory faces. She hated it, she couldn’t do- defend- explain.

She- just-

She-

She-

She-

She was in a room?

The bathroom.

It didn’t matter why, as long as she was alone, she could cry to her heart's content.

The fear seeped over her just like that first time, knowing Chloé had won and would never stop, she had lost and lost everything.

Everything she had worked so hard to obtain.

Everything she had worked so hard to keep.

To make sure she didn’t have to let go.

And now it had gone.

Because it was then Marinette realised. That girl, those tears hadn’t been real, there she saw her eyes hadn’t been red or puffy, the tears’ dried up rather quickly, and the inconsistent wails made it very likely she was only doing them for effect and sympathy.

That girl. Was lying!

That must’ve been it.

No way could she be telling the truth. And no way could ‘I saw her around me and Adrien’ be translated to ‘she threatened me, I’m so scared of her’

Maybe, maybe with that, there was hope.

If she could just simply convince her friends that she was lying, then everything would be all sorted.

And maybe she and Adrien-

Wait, she was getting a little ahead of herself there.

Wiping her tears away she proudly opened the door, ready to face her fears.

Too bad her fears were much much stronger.

No matter how many times she would try to prove her innocence, it became worse.

When she tried going to the teachers, they bat an eye with her responses. Obviously not taking her seriously, and just believing it to be some teenage drama, she was pushed out of the classroom and told to try and just be nicer and make friends with her.

That was harsh but expected.

She tried talking with Alya, she turned away from her. Not wanting to hear anything come out of a crazy stalkers mouth.

That had hurt.

She tried talking with any of her other friends, y’know, the ones who ‘always’ had her back.

They too turned from her. Believing Lila without a doubt, I mean, they knew how jealous Marinette could get, it wasn’t that much of a stretch to think she would jump to that, considering the situation.

That felt like a punch to her gut.

She tried talking with Adrien, even if she did stutter and always lose her words around him. But this was more important, than a silly crush.

.

She wasn’t used to saying that.

But, the way he looked at her, it felt like- pity.

He told her he already knew.

He already knew? Wait- then why didn’t he say anything?

Because, as the naïve little boy stood so tall and ‘innocent’ he simply wanted to help her through his own way.

“She was only lying for attention,” He said.

“Once she finally makes some real friends, she’ll stop,” He said!

“In the meantime, you should really drop this, it would be just awful if you were to hurt Lila again. After all, she hasn’t hurt anyone, she doesn’t mean any harm”

.

.

She stood in shock.

This was the boy she had fell for?

This spineless- foolish- Son of a-

“So please Marinette, don’t cause too many problems for her, you shouldn’t be so harsh on her. If you really value our friendship, you’ll do it.” He smiled before walking off, leaving her to her thoughts.

That felt like someone had walked over to her, ripped out her heart and squashed it in the palm of her hands, all while grinning.

Why, why wasn’t she able to see before? Did her heart want to deceive her by falsifying all of his qualities? Was she just blind to bear witness to him not being as perfect as she made him out to be? Was it because she just couldn’t entertain the thought of letting go?

She didn’t know, she just hated this negative feeling. It felt so familiar. She wanted it to go away.

Unfortunately, that feeling would only grow for months.

And it was about to be worse.

“Huh? Marinette? Why are you crying? If this is about what happened this morning, don’t worry, I’ll forgive you” She was crying? Huh, when did that happen?

Whatever, more importantly.

“W-What, no you don’t have to forgive me because I did nothing wrong” Lila’s worried expression faltered for a bit before she grew ‘scared’

“H-Hey, I didn’t realise you felt like that. Oh, you poor thing” Her eyebrow snapped, she seriously didn’t like being called a thing.

“Save it, I can’t prove it but I know you’re just lying to everyone here. And you need to stop, you’re going to hurt everyone when they find out. You need to confess” Her face faltered again, but it never recovered, her once innocent eyes hardened as she smirked, a look that seemed almost natural, as if she had perfected it by looking into a mirror countless times.

“Oh, so you’ve finally figured it out? Figures, I was told you were the smartest one, and it seems like I wasn’t wrong”

“What?” Lila sighed, maybe she had put too much faith in her being the smartest.

“Ugh, you’re so young Marinette. I haven’t told the truth all my life, why the hell should I start now?” Marinette was stunned, why, why was she telling her this?

“Honestly, and I thought Adrien was naïve. Look, I’m not here to play games, I have this whole routine wrapped up. So just sit back, stay out of my way and I might consider making another lie that would benefit you.” It was an offer any reasonable person wouldn’t refuse.

Unfortunately for her, she didn’t want a reasonable offer.

Marinette stared, she was- she was fully aware of what she was doing?

“B-But you’re going to end up hurting everyone, you need to stop, please!” She begged.

Lila frowned.

She was just like all the rest.

“I don’t care”

Huh?

“I said I don’t care, seriously don’t you get it yet? I’m here to win by all means necessary. You were in the way so I took you out. They are just little trophies to remind you of my victory. You had your chance”

She stood still, this situation felt so familiar, but she had to stay strong, she couldn’t give up now. If reasoning with her won’t work, then maybe understanding might, and she could work with that.

“Why are you doing this, do you really not care about when you get caught? About how everyone will feel when they know you promised nothing in the end?” She hoped she would see some sense. They were good people, they shouldn’t be manipulated into this, she was sure they would’ve been friends regardless of what she had promised.

“It’s because I can”

.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean, dear sweet Marinette, is that because I am able to, I can. I’ve had years of practice with this, and the result always has me at the top, all that oppose me either stay at the bottom or beg for mercy from moi. It's always a delight to see their hope diminish. To realise they would do anything but to be alone.”

Alone- that word, that word stuck with her so much.

She didn’t want that- but she didn’t want her friends to be tricked either.

“Besides, you made it so easy for me, in reality. You only have yourself to blame”

“What- I didn’t even-” A finger was wagged in front of her face.

“Ah ah ah. You really should know better than that. A calendar full of Adrien’s schedule? A box full of presents for Adrien? Sabotaging dates? You’d think I’d have made it all up, it only made the end result so much greater. Seriously Marinette, I don’t even know if I’m the bad guy here, what you’ve done really isn’t appropriate behaviour. But I do know of a great therapist, they helped me through such a hard time” Lila continued to talk as Marinette zoned out. She was the bad guy? No- no that couldn’t be, that was just a harmless crush, that was just what normal teenaged girls did.

But- if it was. Then why didn’t anyone tell her it was wrong, she didn’t mean for it to be wrong. She just didn’t want them to leave, she just didn’t want to be abandoned again.

Why didn’t they say? Why didn’t she realise?

Why did she know?

Lila must’ve seen the shock as she giggled, not at all innocent.

“It was so easy manipulating all of them into telling me about this ‘crush’, once they realised just how crazy it actually was, they had no problem seeing you for the crazy stalker you are.” Lila flicked her hair up away, only for it to come back, but it didn’t matter, she made her point.

Not having the energy to look up, she would’ve noticed Lila had left her behind, laughing too, because no one had been there to overhear their absolutely private conversation. Her overall plan would not be undiscovered today, tomorrow, or the next. It wouldn’t be discovered ever.

Because she was in control.

Marinette, wasn’t in control.

Just like before, that hollow feeling from before, it was back.

And so much worse.

.

She hated Lila, because she made her realise, she was right. All along. And she just had to accept it.

And gave up trying.

She reverted back to how she was at the beginning of the year.

The quiet girl that no one paid attention to, alone, in the back, with nothing but her sketchbook.

Gone were the childish pigtails, it was for the better, no one said anything about then anymore.

Because she realised.

She wasn’t a child anymore.

She couldn’t be, not after this.

***

Hey, so I guess this was more like another prologue, so I’ll have to apologise if it seems just like the other one, but the premise is still the same so yeah.

And I think I might like the idea of a non-Miraculous world; it seems interesting since I feel like Marinette wouldn’t have as much of a confidence boost since she wouldn’t be Ladybug, please tell me that would make sense.

I think it’s interesting for how much would change and stay the same, and my OC will be making an entrance next time, however, here they are all like 13-14. The next chapter will have a time skip of 3 years, oh and Lila came in late, like around Season 3 late ok? So they already know about Kagami and Luka.

Also if you’re confused about anything feel free to ask any questions.

Cya next time.

Note: Please tell me if I should add anything else to the card, there will be one of these cards for all 15 chapters, however, because I have uni work all updates will be slower because I really need to focus on the uni stuff, then I might be able to upload quicker.

[bhadpodcast]

Why Scott McCall Is Teen Wolf’s Worst Character

There is this notion in the Scott/Posey fandom that they can do and say whatever they want. When Derek and Stiles fans called them out for harassing a Teen Wolf fan who had the audacity to dislike Scott McCall, the Scott McCall defense squad defended their own disgusting behavior by whining that “they disrespected Scott McCall in the general tags.” The problem with that is that these are the same bullies who would go into full-on attack mode if you dared post anything even remotely critical of Scott McCall in the anti Scott McCall tag.

I’ve seen these people post their anti Derek, Stiles, Sterek - pro Scott crap in the “Derek Hale”, “Stiles Stilinski” and “Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski” tags on purpose.

Scott/Posey stans act as if the truth is determined by how loud and toxic they are. Since Stiles and Derek are the fan favorites, the stars of the show, and they overshadowed Scott from the day one without even even trying, then they can do as they please, even harassing Teen Wolf fans and dropping into the Stiles Stilinski or Derek Hale tag to say how much they hate the character.

I personally feel that the reason behind his is that antis identify with Scott so much that if you dare criticize Scott’s canonical abusive actions and behavior, they feel you’re insulting them. They have bought into the wish fulfillment that Scott McCall represents.

Scott McCall represents the idea that you can treat everyone around you like crap, you can insult people, invade their privacy, emotionally or physically lash out at them when you’re upset, but as long as you’re in a position of power and arguably charismatic, people will still love you and treat you like you’re a hero and the bestest friend ever. It doesn’t matter how much you hurt the people around you, because the entire power fantasy is that people will accept your behavior, and instead of asking you to apologize, they’ll instead apologize to you, even for the most minor meaningless slight, because only your feelings and your emotions matter.

It’s what has made characters like Scott McCall so popular among the antis, no matter what show they are on. And why this particular trope, the Average Whiny Asshole With A Plot Armor, is only popular when played by an attractive guy.

Of course, in antis’ fan fictions, Scott McCall will have most of their canon traits (such as violence, jealousy, possessiveness, bigotry, entitlement, and cruelty) removed, because as much as Scott Stans love Scott McCall for being a toxic asshole and getting away with it, they understand they can never admit that. So they turn Scott into a self insert Mary Sue and give him all the positive traits stolen from the Teen Wolf characters who they claim to despise.

This conceals the fact that they liked Scott McCall exactly because of his lack of positive character growth, including his utter refusal to acknowledge that his abusive actions and behavior have consequences even if he manages to hide them or blame others for them.

Scott spent six seasons using his friends and victims as a cover for his actions, and no one ever held him accountable for what he did. The production ended up with a character who is stuck in the same static condition he was in the pilot: a character who never gets to learn or improve any part of himself. By the end of the show, Scott McCall is still the same whiny, cruel, bigoted, entitled asshole that he was when he first showed up on the show. The very same boy who thinks that the hunters had a valid reason to slaughter the Hales, lashes out at his best friend, and then lives out his Werewolf Jesus fantasies and delusions of grandeur through his friends’ suffering.

Instead of growing, Scott got reasons he should be allowed to be an asshole. He lies because “he has to”. He’s violent because “You may be an alpha, but you are not mine!” He’s abusive because his victims provoke him. He’s cruel because he is a werewolf. He’s jealous and possessive because he’s in love.

With characters like Scott McCall, the point isn’t for him to improve and overcome his problems. It’s for other characters to make allowances for his problems. In its fan service, the show let him stay the same entitled little boy he always was. Even in the final episode, he gleefully ruins his friends’ chance to have a life outside of him and of Beacon Hills just because he needs their help to save his own cowardly ass once again. Scott literally ends the show being his usual toxic self and recruiting traumatized children to fight his own battles. Hell, the rare times Scott did show character growth, like finally admitting he’s utterly useless when left to his own devices, his stans reacted with anger, because how dare they have Scott admit he can’t even plan his way out of paper bag without his smarter than everyone friends’ constant help and support?!

This leads to Season 5, where Scott once again lashed out at Stiles, blamed Stiles for his own mistakes, dehumanized Stiles for defending himself against his abuser, gaslit Stiles, tried to isolate Stiles from his support system, accused Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and a serial killer, and then acted as if he was the victim. And then of course Scott lies and plays up an injury that had long healed for six episodes straight just to convince his friends not to abandon him again because “I healed when we were together again. Where we were pack.” That is exactly what Scott/Posey fans wanted though: a character who can get away with this crap yet still be seen as a woobie and hero at the same time.

Then people wonder why Teen Wolf fans, critics, and viewers (and the actors themselves) come to despise Scott McCall and see him as everything wrong in fandom. It’s because Scott brought down the show by undermining its themes and other characters whenever the show, due to Posey’s jealous fits and temper tantrums, let him get away with the things like attacking Corey and plotting Josh and Tracy’s murder begins everyone’s back. When the show let him constantly insult Stiles and Derek, without giving Stiles and Derek a chance to push back at him. When the show let Scott abuse Isaac, and acted as if it was okay for Scott to do so because it was done in a humorous way. When the show let Scott sell Derek and his Pack out to Gerard and then justify it. When the show let Scott sacrifice Erica and Boyd to look good in Allison’s eyes and never called him out on it. When the show let Scott be abusive, and mean, and a bully, and acted as if those scenes were ok because Scott was a “true alpha”.

When you dare to criticize Scott’s abusive behavior, his delusional squad will excuse it by yelling “but Scott is a Mexican boy!” (he is not), or “Scott is depressed!” (he is not), or “Scott is poor!” (he is not), or “Scott is the most important character of Teen Wolf!” (he is not), as if that somehow makes Scott’s behavior okay, never realizing how racist and insulting that is to real Mexican people who aren’t complete assholes to everyone around them the way that Scott is.

_______________________________

This is a great piece of meta. Very well thought out and presented. Tell a friend. 

[chemicalpink]

대취타 (daechwita) | Emperor!Yoongi x Reader | Part ONE

Pairing: Emperor!Yoongi x Assassin!Reader

Words: 2.7k

Genre: Emperor AU, Historical AU (kinda), very badly written SMUT at the end, power play, angsty

Warnings: there is mention of death, killing, smut in public place, some traditional korean things may be wrong, mentions of slavery.

A/N: No thoughts, just Agust D.

Summary: You used to be an assassin, got caught and works at the palace as a servant up until you are escorted to the main palace, either to meet your inevitable destiny or for a change of plans.

OR

The one where Min Yoongi is an Emperor and is cocky and kinda of an asshole but you both get naughty nevertheless.

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

After somewhere near to twelve months being forced to work at the Gyeongbok Palace, you have somewhat become accustomed to having both hands and feet chained while moving around the place with a sword always on the back of your head, ready to chop it off were you to do any funny business. It was no secret that there were hundreds of enslaved servants at Gyeongbok Palace that were once top tier criminals, and whilst most of them received a similar treatment, you used to come and go from your assigned place of work with half a dozen more guards than the rest. Just as you would expect it to be, seen as you were Korea’s most famous mercenary. That day, however, the sight of a hooded man completely dressed in black caught you by surprise. That was definitely new.

Your usual companion, a young royal guard named Jungkook, held your arm forcefully while he guided you through the sumptuous building where most public officials and gwageos of Korea made their home while on service. You both made your way through corridors,  sets of stairs and turned right more times than you deemed necessary just so you’d have the lesser chance of finding an exit out of wherever the man was taking you.

At least, that is what Jungkook pretended by doing so, but you were able o pick up his intentions and noticed how you had been up and down the same stairs in a matter of minutes. You also noticed how the dark-haired man was forcing you to zig-zag through different levels, even though Gyeongbok had the plainest structure inside it, just a few sets of stairs on the front and tons of long corridors inside. Truth be told, you would have been insulted if Jungkook weren’t to be that precautious. 

You both headed down a particularly long corridor where not the slightest sound could be heard except the echo of your own footsteps. Jungkook turned your way and stared, you smiled at him. He looked back to the front and grabbed your arm with more strength than before.

You took the gesture as a compliment, even though you had no idea what was the reason behind such a mystery, or why that hooded man dressed in black had exchanged a few words with the head guard before Jungkook had grabbed your arm and taken you away from your workplace by the river. After a whole day of washing who-knows-who clothes, seeing him planted there beside the other six guards you were assigned wasn’t exactly how you pictured your day to end like.

Nevertheless, you were quick to make out the exact words that were exchanged when Jungkook made himself known to the man guarding the main palace’s entrance, Jung Hoseok, captain of the royal guard. Soon enough, the sky above seemed to have darkened a thousand shades, the mountains that could be seen from the front yard seemed to have enlarged and you could have sworn that the earth had trembled under you. It had been a while since you had left yourself feel fear inside you.

You turned to look at the new hand holding your arm. The black leather from his glove, a perfect match to the rest of his attire.

You both made your way down yet another corridor and you managed to entertain yourself looking at the elegant forged sword that he carried. The gleaming pommel was shaped like an eagle in mid-flight. Realizing that you were looking at the weapon, Hoseok rested his gloved hand on the golden head of the bird. 

You had stopped for a second to consider whether you would be able to take to your advantage the lack of security and just shoot your shot at freedom, go berserk and use the captain’s weapon against himself, just like that old man that used to be in charge of you had chosen the worst day to push you roughly and ended up in a ditch. But there was far too much echo in the corridors to attack him without alerting the whole place .

Sometimes you wondered if it wouldn’t have been better to die the night you were betrayed and captured. However, while walking down endless corridors, there were already far better questions to ask yourself. Had they finally decided to behead you? It was a favourite of the emperor’s after all. Your stomach churned. After all, you were deemed relevant enough to be executed by the very own royal guard captain. But, if they were to kill you, why bother the tour around Gyeongbok’s corridors?

You finally came to a halt before some glass doors in red and gold, so thick that it was useless to try and see what was on the other side. Captain Jung Hoseok bowed lightly with his head to the other two guards that flanked the entry and they hit the ground with their spears in salute.

The captain once again grabbed you by the arm with such force you were sure he had let a bruise. He pulled you towards him, but your feet were unable to move.

“Would you prefer to remain enslaved, then?” he asked in a mocking tone

“Maybe if you’d tell me what is all of this for, I wouldn’t be so opposed to it”

“Don’t worry, it won’t be long until you find out for yourself” 

Your palms were most definitely sweating. Yes, you were about to die. It was finally time to.

The doors opened with a crushing sound and before your eyes appeared a throne room.

“Here” groaned the captain as he pushed you forward with his free hand.

Being freed from the chains that held your feet together, you tripped over yourself and your bare feet slipped on the smooth floor when you tried to pick yourself up. You turned your head back around and saw six more guards that ported the royal seal on their garments make their way inside.

Fourteen guards plus Captain Jung Hoseok.They were part of the royal family's personal guard: ruthless and lightning-fast soldiers, trained from childhood to protect the emperor with their own lives. You barely managed no to choke on your own spit. Groggy and bewildered you turned your gaze to the front. Sitting on an ornate wooden and jade throne, a handsome young man awaited. Your heart stopped when you all bowed to him. You were before the very emperor of Korea, Min Yoongi. 

Both your eyes and the emperor’s crossed paths.

Min Yoongi offered her a smirk. One that hid a twisted intention behind it but reeked of royal charisma at the same time. Sprawled on the throne, his chin was propped up in one hand and his almost white-blond hair gleamed in the dim light. He wore a black hanbok on which the royal seal embroidered in gold tones occupied almost the entire bib.

Something in his eyes, and the way they contrasted with his almost white hair, took you apart. He was painfully handsome and should be less than thirty years old.

Emperors are not supposed to be attractive. They are whiny, stupid and disgusting creatures! But he ... he ... how unfair of him to belong to royalty and be handsome at the same time.

Min Yoongi stared at your tensed body and then raised well-groomed eyebrows “I wasn’t expecting you to be so young” he supported his elbows on his thighs “i’ve heard some fascinating stores about you, How’s life now after being used to all the excess you granted yourself before?”

Cocky son of a bitch.

“I couldn’t be happier” you hummed while digging your broken nails into your palms.

“After almost a year here, it kinda seems like you are somewhat alive, how have you been able to achieve it, when life expectancy around here for slaves is barely that of a month?”

“It’s still a mystery, I have no doubt about it” You gave the emperor a seductive look and repositioned the handles as if they were lace gloves.

The emperor turned to his captain

“Such a naughty mouth she’s got, huh? And she doesn't speak like a member of the mob”

“One would hope so” you exclaimed

“Your highness” snapped Hoseok

“Huh?” 

“You must address him as ‘your highness’”

You gave him a mocking smile and then returned your attention to the emperor.

To your surprise, Min Yoongi laughed.

“You are aware that you are a slave, aren’t you? Haven’t you learnt anything from this time you’ve been serving?” he started walking towards you until he was so close that you could easily appreciate the exquisite embroidery of his hanbok and smell the aroma that he gave off, not perfume, but woody and fresh nonetheless. Yoongi smiled.

“I demand to know-” you started but Hoseok pulled you with brutal force before you could come any nearer to the emperor “I wasn’t trying to kill him, you fool!”

“I would watch my words if I were you,” Hoseok said while burning his eyes on her

“i honestly don’t think you would dare”

“Oh yeah, and why is that?” 

Yoongi strode back to the throne and sat down. His gaze shone more than ever.

You looked from one to the other and made yourself stand taller.

“Because you want something from me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have brought me all the way here. I’m not stupid, you know? It is obvious that you are here in fulfilment some type of secret mission. You are testing me to find out if I am in good physical and mental condition. I know that I am not crazy and that I am still in possession of my physical faculties. So I demand that you tell me why you have brought me here and what it is that you need from me if my destiny is not to be beheaded.”

Both men exchanged a look. Yoongi joined the fingertips of both of his hands. “I have a proposition for you”

 “I’m all ears then” 

The emperor's eyes sparkled with amusement at your insolence, but they lingered for a moment too long on your body.

Min Yoongi crossed one leg over the other.

“Leave us alone” he ordered the guards “Hoseok, stay where you are”

You turned to the emperor “So?”

Yoongi limited himself to once again sprawl on his throne “I need some help with the empire. Someone that help me solve the...more complicated cases”

“So what you need is a servant that does the dirty work for you”

“In short, yes”

“So what happens if I agree?”

“After six years of service you will be granted your freedom”

“Six!”

“Five”

Although the emperor tried to hide it, you noticed that he was tense. He wanted you to accept. He needed you to accept so desperately that he was willing to negotiate. Your eyes sparkled.

“Make it four”

“Fine” he replied “It is a deal then. But if you fail, you will be beheaded” 

“My habilities are perfectly fine. Thank you very much”

Yoongi made a gesture with his hand to Hoseok “Take her to her chamber so she can take a bath” he stared at her “You have your first work in the morning. Do not let me down, Y/N”

Every work after the first seemed almost the same, after some official research, you were sent a brief coded message to your room that contained all the information that was needed for the job, the name of the culprit plus the usual places they used to hang out.

A few seconds worth of work were all piling up to your ultimate freedom.

Even thought you were the sword behind all of those crossed out names in the Emperor’s list, you were quick to find out that Min Yoongi was by far, more entertained and playful about the blood that stained his hands than you ever were.

It was a usual day after work that you found yourself enjoying the occasional luxury of the outdoors bathhouse that Min Yoongi’s personal Harem had to offer, minus the presence of the concubines that usually strolled around the palace, the moon shining on top of your head as the steam from the hot water raised highly from the temperature shock.

“I never took you for one to enjoy the luxuries that the concubine life has to offer, Y/N” you couldn’t exactly say you were surprised to see him standing behind you, the whole place was his after all “Should have made it cleared that this place is exclusively for me and my girls to have fun in”

“Yeah? I don’t see anyone else here though” you continued your bath routine but poked open an eye to tease him, just the way you had become accustomed to do so for the past year or so, left hand covering your boobs as you turned to him “Got stood up, again?” 

“Don’t you just love to play with fire, Y/N” though you had already turned your back to him and were convinced on carrying on with your bath, the sudden apparition of two hands holding your hips in place along with the wet kisses that were being left on your right shoulder made you think twice “I think it is time for you to get burn”

His right hand easily found its way down the water and started playing with your folds, your wetness getting mixed with the hot water you both were in, his mouth never ceasing to scrape every inch of skin he could find, his temperature rising by the second and his rock hard cock against your ass.

Your knees buckled unconsciously as two of his fingers were inserted into you and started pumping rapidly and you could feel him smirk on your back.

Your hand was quick to found his cock and pump it a few times a little too roughly “You know” you murmured as you turned to face him, making his hand drop from inside you as you watched his face contorted in pleasure “I don’t think it is fair of you, your highness” you could feel his thighs tensing as you kept on pumping him “to jump on a girl like that” you got close to his ear, grasping it between your teeth “I thought you said I was gonna get burned, what happened then?”

Something snapped inside him that made him slam you to the side of the pool while taking both your hands inside one of his own, having you bent over, his cock grazing your exposed pussy underwater. From behind you, Yoongi slowly teased you. You both moaned loudly, not caring if any guard that may have been in a nocturnal shift might hear you. 

Yoongi chuckled, knowing him, probably about to make a witty remark but you clenched your walls around him “F-fuck,” He moaned, his eyes squeezed tight, “You feel so good around my cock, so wet.”

There was no use denying that you felt so satisfied as Yoongi’s hips pressed into you, his cock buried deep inside you. Something you were trying so hard to conceal of not having dreamt about it before in the past year or so, pretend not have touched yourself to the thought of the Emperor wrecking you the way he did to his official concubines.

Yoongi’s cock twitched inside you. You felt your orgasm building within you, burning brightly. You threw yourself back, trying to prolong the sensation, rolling your hips.

“I don’t think I’ll last much longer” Yoongi said behind you and you shook your hips teasingly, while turning your head with a coy smile “argh you’re such a bitch” He moaned loudly once again “But two can play that game”

The hand he had rested on your hips to keep his pace was soon to find your clit, pinching it, rolling it and driving you to the edge until it suddenly stopped, followed by the heat that erupted from within you when Yoongi cummed inside you, his hand releasing yours from his hold and slapping your ass as he laughed “Such a good girl but I have an early morning tomorrow” 

“Min Yoongi, you son of a-” 

“Later, Y/N!” he said, grinning widely as he exited the bathhouse.