#i just wish i knew why i cant keep my friends

[kkyaka]

I wish people wanted me to be their friend :/

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[autisticlee]

having some sort of chronic pain and tiredness issue and joint problems and whatnot but not knowing exactly what the problem is is really good at leading you feeling like you're faking it or making a big deal out of nothing or making it up. especially if there's a good day where it's not as bad and you can walk straight without limping for the first time in a year. but then you can wake up the next day and can barely walk and wonder why you can't just walk normal. it's hard to not guilt trip yourself into dealing with pain by trying to ignore it and force yourself to walk "normal" all the time

[vampirejuno]

I need some sort of contraption that will zap me with 200v of electricity every time I look through old pictures or scroll through particular blogs or some such. It wouldn't stop me probably but it just sounds like something I should have

[sick-as-a-dog]

×

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

[tinylittlebab]

ill be skinny and dying and ill look beautiful and people will like me it has to happen or id rather die

whats the point of being lonely and in pain all the time and then having to get a job and hate doing that if i have no friends and hate myself. the one thing that keeps me wanting to live wont be good enough once u have to work and in that case id rather just die

:(

[pierregazly]

always the prize, always the winner ꨄ logan sargeant smau

logan sargeant x pop star!reader

in which logan is actually pretty okay with being known as the biggest pop star in the world's arm candy. who would complain about that, really?

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 4,539,209 others

yourusername back doing what i do best!! (watching this handsome man get asked solely about me in interviews and then singing songs about it) (ps i love you) (pps yes that is a song)

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logansargeant why are you so obsessed with me?

logansargeant im not complaining btw cause like... never stop?

logansargeant but also pps cant wait to hear it 🤍

yourusername just for this attitude you're the LAST to hear it now (handsome)

username still never gonna understand how LOGAN SARGEANT bagged ms ma'am but okay! 🤭

username a couple mutually obsessed with each other? (gag) (obsessed)

oscarpiastri i get asked questions about you too?

yourusername yes and your one word answers are SO riveting.

username why is no one talking about the SONG??? PS I LOVE YOU???? im going to throw up

username it's going to be the most disgustingly loving obsessive song ever and it's all about this american MAN

username never seen a man luckier than logan sargeant

logansargeant has posted a story

tagged logansargeant

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 3,201,326 others

yourusername nothing makes me happier than running into you in the most random of places. always there when i need you most 🫶🏻

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logansargeant i would meet you in the middle of a croc swamp if i had to

logansargeant not a snake pit though, you're on your own for that one kid

yourusername you're on your own kid... what a song title 🤭

alex_albon we have a race next week??? in australia??? why are you in america

logansargeant 🤫

username god these two make me sick!!! (affectionate)

username if they ever break up... imagine the album ugh. i need it

username maybe let's not wish a breakup on anyone??? especially these two?? wtf

lilymhe begging u to release the songs even if they're about logan

yourusername they're actually about you?? 🫶🏻

tagged logansargeant and yourusername

liked by username, username, username, and others

ynupdates during an interview before the melbourne gp this weekend, logan gushed about finally getting to see yn after a few weeks apart, and when asked if she'd be attending any of the upcoming gp's all he did was smile and say 'she could be here right now, but i'm not going to be the one to expose her?' - so, if anyone is at the melbourne gp be sure to keep your eyes out!

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username oh he SO flew to san fran so she wouldn't have to fly to australia alone.. king energy??

username i know he always says he's the winner but that man would walk through hell for her so idk

username omg omg im gonna be at the gp this weekend!!! i'll keep an extra eye on everything and anything william's

username imagine going to a FORMULA 1 RACE and running into THEE pop star yn

username logan it's your weekend to get some points!!! impress your gf, be the prize and the winner for once!! (at least get points)

yourusername has posted a story

liked by logansargeant, username, username, and others

replies

logansargeant not you posting my garage but not even coming to see me??? hell is a place on earth and it's where i am right now

yourusername literally my words every time im away from you??? go win points love u my handsome lil eagle man <333

logansargeant gross <3

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, oscarpiastri, and others

logansargeant LFGGGGG!! first points of the year, and a 5th place finish at the melbourne gp!! let's go up from here!! honoured to have had my best friend here, always gonna be a winner when you're involved angel 💗

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yourusername literally wreck my plans, THAT'S my man

yourusername so fricken proud of you handsome!!! knew calling you my lil eagle man would win you some points

yourusername love you so much pls

logansargeant love you more pretty <3

williamsracing that's OUR shared comfort american man. it's all up from here!

username LFGGGG

username RAH RAH WTF IS A KM 🦅

username 🦅🦅🦅

tagged logansargeant

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 12,320,433 others

yourusername in honour of my boyfriend, my new album 'lover' will be out 24.03.14 - an ode to the man who has shown me how you can be a prize and a winner all in one. logan, i love you more than anything. always.

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logansargeant and to think i always said it was a joke when i asked you to write an album for me.

logansargeant i love you to the moon and back, i know i've heard every song but i can't wait to hear it again. you're the best ever

yourusername god. i'm so lucky to be known as yours lo 💗

oscarpiastri if anyone asks me about this. one word answers only. riveting.

yourusername riveting?

oscarpiastri riveting.

username I KNEW IT

username THERE WAS WAY TOO MANY REFS TO NEW SONGS

username god this is gonna make me feel so single. i literally can't wait.

ynnation love songs for the ages, we know it. an icon, and congrats to logan for getting his first points of the year!!

username this is SO for all the logan haters, ain't none of y'all ever gonna make our girl feel the way he does!!!

authors notes

this was so self-indulgent bc i haven't written in forever but im going through a logan phase. i hope you all love it 💗 i also lost my tag list so pls enjoy regardless ily

[lightningonatether]

Why c!endersmile were actually friends

ALTERNATIVELY TITLED: my crazy thesis on two bad bitches with not a single moment of screentime fueled purely by my own insanity

ALTERNATIVELY alternatively titled: to all loreheads please be nice i dont usually lorepost. feel free to engage though

So my return is courtesy of litchi, who mentioned c!endersmile like once a month ago, and got me thinking about them so hard I couldn't just walk away.

Namely, litchi reminded me of a few theories I have concerning c!endersmiles relationship, that I developed back when i was watching the SMP live. This might make my recollection of some events a little fuzzy, but everything should be canon compliant cause I was thinking about all this as I watched.

I was already watching ranboo pretty regularly at the point the prison arc started, I cant resist a really weird guy with horrible debilitating anxiety. I already thought the whole hearing dreams voice in his head was really interesting, but as the prison arc evolved it became clear that ranboos relationship with dream wasnt just some hallucination inside ranboos head and actually had some substance.

My theory really started to develop into what it is now with the explosions on the prison roof which led to the lockdown and tommys death; these were confirmed to be set by ranboo in his enderwalk state. He was one of the only people online at the time, ranboo found tnt in his inventory afterwards, and I think dream also told sam he knew ranboo did it at some point, although I can't find the exact stream.

At that point it was obvious that enderwalking ranboo held a different set of beliefs, alliances, and likely more memories than the "awake" ranboo we saw most of the time on streams, and was acting against amnesiac ranboos wishes. The explosions above the prison along with the reveal that ranboo had been regularly visiting dream in prison confirmed that dream and ender!ranboo were some sort of allies.

At the time, my assumption was that ranboo had simply made an attempted prison break. It wouldnt be a stretch to assume, if ranboo had visited regularly, that he would have noticed the poor conditions and tried to break his ally out. However, after the confirmation of the staged finale, and a better look at cdreams motivations(wanting to provide protection for punz, separating himself very publicly from his only known ally to keep them safe) the idea that enderwalk ranboo, an ally of dreams, would go against dreams explicit wishes to stay locked in that prison began making less sense.

It would only make sense if either:

enderwalk never knew about the plan or

enderwalk knew about the plan but went against it anyway

1 is a very tempting explanation. c!dream rarely lets anyone close. even punz, who knew the plan intimately, wasn't aware of dreams true motivations to bring the server back to a peaceful time before conflict. but..... it didnt sit right with me.

Two reasons for this: I know some people may have stopped watching/never watched ranboo lore, but towards the end of the prison arc, ranboo began seeing flashes of "lessons" appear on screen. These lessons all had that utilitarian and paranoid feel a lot of dreams actions/reasoning have, like "dont trust anybody"(paraphrasing, thats just what i remember the core of that message being) or "never hesitate to gain a favor from someone, you can use it to get something from them later". anyone remember technos favor to dream? It was heavily implied these lessons were meant to be from dream, directed at c!enderwalk. This would mean the two spent a significant amount of time together. not only that, dream was sharing his *life philosophy* with ender!ranboo. thats not just something dream would share with anyone, and implies a close allyship at the least. its almost like he was teaching a pupil. yeah, sure, some of his lessons were a little fucked up and weird in that dream sort of way, but he was looking out for the kid. and it seems that enderwalk wasnt hesitant to act on those lessons either. he promised to keep a shulker safe for foolish, gaining a favor, and didnt sign a single one of those prison visitation waivers, on top of sam discovering they were corrupted into enderian when he checked LMAO.

This alone would be enough to persuade me enderwalk HAD to have been let in on the plan, at least so he wouldnt cause any problems (such as trying to get his ally out of prison).

but the other reason is... ranboos stated philosophy against conflict. he doesnt like sides, he wishes they wouldn't exist. I remember watching a stream and nearly jumping out of my seat when he told chat he just wished the server could just be one big happy family! because that is nearly word for word what a bunch of loreheads were saying about dreams motivations at the time(and now obviously lmao). if we keep in mind their contact for those "lessons", ranboos visits to dream in prison, AND the fact that dreams and ranboos motivations coincide on a level even Above dream and punzs(punz seemed to have been unaware of and also not particularly motivated by dreams wish for peace) i cant really imagine dream not letting this guy in on the plan.

which leaves us with 2) ranboo tried to break dream out against dreams wishes.

Maybe ranboo was just an ally and chickened out after he saw dreams mistreatment in prison and went against the plan, but... dream missed him after sam barred him from visiting. he asked sapnap to deliver a note to ranboo(just a smiley face, likely with the hopes of triggering an enderwalk) despite fearing for his ally punz enough to lock himself in prison. it feels reminicent to how dream sounds when he comments on george not visiting him once. like he missed a friend despite trying so hard to separate himself from the ones he'd had.

Maybe ranboo tried to break in because he saw a friend being mistreated, and couldn't leave the plan stand.

And that kind of makes sense doesn't it? that dream, someone whos paranoid about how peoples connection to him puts them in danger, would choose an amnesiac who spends most of their time terrified of dream, and wouldnt remember any of his plans or their friendship to use against either of them in the first place?

[jammiesjars]

NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE | MDNI

Warnings: Medium amount of plot?, horribly written medieval times smut, loss of innocence, virginity loss, female anatomy and terminology (??), unrealistic sex, slight coercion, breeding (only a little)

Seems to be the warrior’s picked you.

You were a shy thing. Didn’t get yourself involved in any social gatherings unless necessary, didn’t leave the safe confines of your modest hut unless dragged, and certainly didn’t talk to anyone unless by force.

You were polite, no doubt about it. And though as much as you hate it, people seemed to be drawn to you.

So when the cherished and highly praised warrior that John McTavish is decides he wants you, he will have just that.

It’s not even a question wether or not you want him. You wouldn’t deny the man his right to a pretty little bird like yourself, would you?

No matter, he’ll sneak around; arrange something with your parents so you won’t find out until its too late to stop your matrimony. But God, seeing you smile up at him so naively without a clue in the world that everynight he tugs at his thick cock to the mere thought of you in his arms makes him wish it’d happen sooner.

It was only a matter of time until you found out, anyway. Your parents were off planning some ‘suprise’, your mother teaching you about a wife’s duties all of a sudden and the whispers from the folk in the village only got louder.

“I can’t believe she’s marrying Johnny-“ the girl whispers to her friend, pointing at you.

Your blood runs hot, the same aching need you get when Johnny talks to you in a sultry tone shooting to your core at the mere mention of the rumor; at the idea of being his betrothed. And so you storm off to find him, barging into his office on the compound, blabblering about what you’ve overheard whilst he looks at you with a shit-eating grin.

“Have ye’ got an issue with that, M’eudail?” He’d drawl, his eyes glimmering with the same mischief you’ve come to know. “Don’t tell me yer suprised.”

“Johnny, you can’t be serious.” You’d breathe, the corset taught around your waist suddenly feels ten times tighter, and the furs settled on your shoulders 10 pounds heavier.

“Am always serious about ye, Lass.” He’d coo, leaning back in his chair. He beckons you closer with his hand. “Why? Don’t tell me ye fancy another lad, birdie.” He’d grunt, his calloused hands from years of battle pawing at your hips.

His touch brings out that familiar ache; a coiling need. One you never understood, never knew how to satisfy. “No..“ You’d breathe, responding to his call and stepping into his reach. “But I deserved to know, you cant keep tha-“

You’re silence by a low groan from Johnny. “Och. Quit worrying so much and let yer husband do the thinkin’. Be a good girl and let me take care of ye.”

Playful blue eyes meet yours.

“Keep bein’ at my beck and call, jus’ like ye are now. I’ll do the rest.”

Christ, you’re sure you’ll melt into the floor here and now. It’s not like you can deny anyway, you found out too late. Just as planned. That aching feeling is amplified tenfold and you know Johnny can tell.

He offers a lopsided grin. “Yer all worked up, aren’t ye?” It’s almost a growl. “Don’t worry, lass. I’ll take ye on the altar if you’d ask. I’ll make sure ye never have to go without once yer mine.”

He’d pull you close, so tender despite the vulgarity he whispers in your ear. And above all, you have no clue what he’s talking about.

Even unluckier for you, the scot picks up on that. “Oh, Mo Gràidh..” he’d purr, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Bet ye ache, don’t ye? You’re poor cunt..” He’d tut, shaking his head.

“Do ye know what that feelin’ is, lass?” His eyes hold a dangerous gleam, to which you shake your head and he looks like he could salivate. “C’mere. Let me take a look at ye.”

He flips you around to press your hands to his desk, whilst he’s holding your hips. He flips up your skirts. “Johnny-“

“Quit yer whining, im doing ye a favour.” He coos, hiking up your petticoat and layers underneath to reveal your glistening cunt. “Ain’t that a sight for yer sore eyes..” He almost chokes on his words.

The man had plans, intentions, to wait until your wedding night. To take it nice and slow with deep languid thrusts that had you seeing stars. All of that was thrown out the window as he took in the sight of your untouched opening.

“Ye trust me, lassie?” Johnny grunts.

“Johnny, I-“

He grips your thigh.

“Tryna be nice here, pretty. But it’s damn hard.” He growls. “Do ye trust me?”

You swallow your pride, nodding.

“Oh,” he groans at the confirmation. “Good girl..” Large hands grip your thighs so his tongue can lick a fat stripe up your cunt. The taste of you is so right to him, so… perfect. You were built for him only and he knows it; fated to be his pretty little wife he can come home to after battle.

You’re moaning, biting on your hand to muffle the sound. By god, you’ve never felt anything like this.

Then suddenly, it’s gone.

“Shouldn’t do this to ye, lass. Not one bit. Not proper of me at all, aye?” He pants, leaning back. You almost choke on nothing at the loss of his tongue.

He pulls your skirts down, flipping you back around. “Promise ye. I’ll never let ye go needy once I get that ring on ye finger. Just a couple for days, mo gràidh..”

He’s pressing his face against your stomach, arms keeping you standing between his legs.

“Right…” You pant softly, the loudest sound in the room.

So did you go through with the wedding without a single complaint? Yes. Could you even say you enjoyed it? Sure.

But what came after? That was the entire focus of the evening, apparently.

“Oh, I remember my wedding night..” Older folks would gush.

“Tell us all about it!” Married friends would tease and prod.

You were fed up. What was to come? (You, many times) You couldn’t seem to figure it out, not even as Johnny sat you on the bed with darkened eyes and a firm tone. “

Strip, lovie. Don’t make me do it for ye.”

“J-johnny-“ You mewl, sweat clinging to your body. Your wedding dress is long forgotten on the floor with John’s kilt.

“I got ye, M’eudail. Let go f’me.” John murmurs against your clit that he was just sucking on, whilst his fingers are pressing up into that sweet spongey spot inside of you.

You grip his hair, the feeling making you want to tug him off. “Wait-“ you whimper, hips bucking to chase the feeling that so desperately confuses you.

Johnny doubles his efforts, the smug bastard. “Oh, sweet girl..” There’s that shit eating grin again as he watches you from between your legs as your back arches off the bed. “Troublin’, hm? Don’t know what to do with yerself.” He tuts. “Let go, lass. Let me think for ye.”

His words have you cumming quicker than you’d care to admit.

“Don’t even know what yer feelin’, do ye?” He murmurs, his scottish brogue heavy with lust. “Mm.. ma sweet wifey.” He rides you through your orgasm with lanquid strokes of his thick fingers before climbing up the bed so his forearms rest either side of your head.

“Look at ye…” He grins down at you whilst you catch your breath; utterly ruined. He pushes your hair behind your ear, pressing a sweet kiss to your swollen lips. How awfully tender, considering he just gave you your first orgasm.

“Johnny..” you mewl, hands coming to rest on his broad shoulders. You can feel the thick cords of muscle roll beneath your palms

“Aye, sweetheart. Right ‘ere.” He grunts, reaching a hand down to pump his stupidly thick cock a few times. “Deep breath, lassie. Dinnae go stupid on me.” He coos. He presses at your poor, weeping cunt; his tip slick with precum.

He begins to press in, earning a broken whimper from you.

“Johnny-“ you gasp. “I can’t- I can’t take it-“

“Nae. Don’t say that, Mo Gràidh. Little more. Jus’ for me.” He groans, hissing lowly at how perfect you squeeze him; you were made for him.

You cling to anything for purchase, your jaw slack and eyelids fluttering shut. “No, no no-“

“Ye can take it, good girl… relax for me, lass. Let me in.” He grunts, his words an attempt so soothe your panicked confusion.

“Feels good, yeah? Too much to handle, aye?” He soothes, his gaze piercing as he looks down at you. “I’ve got ye. You’re doing so damn well, shh sh shh…”

You softly gasp, your grip tight as he bottoms out. It doesn’t let up, especially as Johnny decides you can handle even more, and starts pulling out slowly before pressing in again until your hips click together.

“Aren’t ye just fuckin perfect? Aye- look at me. In my eyes, pretty girl. Ye, tell ye husband how good he makes ye feel. Tell me lass.” He coos, a hand lacing into your hair.

“S-so good-“ you whine, hips bucking. “Johnny-“ you choke, his slow, sensual movements becoming more primal.

“That’s right,” He groans, his head dropping to rest against your shoulder. Johnny’s pants are much more obvious as you feel his breath against his shoulder. “Makin’ ye feel so good. Pussy clampin’ around me like a fuckin’ vice.” He groans, his cock pummeling your poor cunt again and again, his pace never slowing.

“Gonna fill ye up nicely. Make you a mam to me heirs..” He growls, his hips stuttering as you cum.

Its a burning hot pleasure that rips through your body, making you feel weak in the legs.

“Ooh,” Johnny intertwines his hand with yours. “There we go… lettin’ go for me like a good girl would. Gonna fuck ye stupid one day, love. Make ye forget ye name.” He growls, his hips slamming against yours as his seed spurts inside you.

“Such a good wifey..”

[cupiohearts]

I WISH YOU LOVE ! - reminiscing with gun.

(cant catch me now series). GUN VER. dg ver. goo ver

they see you everywhere. james, jonggun, joongoo. they find bits and pieces of you lying around in their pockets, their houses and memories. it depends on which one it is which scene they see you in.

for GUN, he cant figure out for the life of anyone why they would wish someone that moved on in life the best of luck. he was a selfish man. when you disappeared from him, he mutters bitterly to himself wishing curses upon your name. the tear drops on the letter you wrote to him being the symbolism behind it all.

why would he want you to do well without him? why did you have to leave him?

did you not care as much as you said you did? he furrows his eyebrow. taking another drag out of his cigarette while he watches the stupid couple on the street pick out matching items for each other.

"jonggun! jonggun! look come here! hurry up!" you hiss at him as you press your face against the glass of a window. it was the pet adoption center. a calico cat taking a nap in the window as you cood at it.

that was the ugliest cat hes ever seen. it's eyes looked a bit too similar to the one you always give him when you want him to do something ridiculous for you.

"its cute" he gruffly says. you raise an eyebrow at him and made a face "youre a big fat liar. when we grow old with joongoo and james! we should all get a cat together!"

you giggle as you wiggled your finger at the cat. your breath fogging up the glass and when you pulled away he could see a slight bit of lipgloss- or lip tint- or whatever you were wearing on your lips that left it all glossy and shimmery left on the window.

he didnt say anything about it. he probably shouldve. you left the window dirty with your makeup. the same lips he imagined himself kissing from to time.

he thinks again. gun is a selfish man. when he read the letter you gave him, he thinks to himself for a far longer period of time than what he would appreciate.

he picks up the small camera you left behind in your apartment. he kept it with him for some reason. it was to keep videos and photos of yourself so he wont forget all of the times hes had with you.

"gun stop! stop! stop- what in the world happened here?!" your voice can be heard from behind the camera. the camera work a bit shaky as you walk closer to the restaurant.

there were a lot of bodies on the floor. a lot. "did you take them all down by yourself?" you ask him. you already knew the answer. he didnt need to respond but he did "yes"

you let out a deep sigh "this was supposed to be a cute video! you just ruined it. i wanted to send my mom and dad videos of me while im still here!"

you never sent it. he almost wished you did. so your parents knew what your friends were in korea. gangsters hanging out with the most.. sane one. sane is a strong word. hed think more like you were the glue.

you held everyone together, but at the same time. you were the one keeping them in the past.

that wasnt what he thought as he read your note though.

while he reading the shaky lines with splotchy text. the tears you left on the paper made it all crumbly and the words were hard to read.

he could only wish you the worst time without him. you better not be happier than you were with him. thats how you made him feel. he felt like the vines growing around the fence around you. his growth was hindered by the boundaries you had. if you werent there, he wouldve probably never grown in the first place, but you were also the reason he couldnt get better.

even as he read the lines 'jongun, you are the one who destroyed me the most.' he felt a small smile come to his face. he really is the most selfish person he knew.

sooooo... im here. I DID THE SECONDPARTY YIPPEE 😋😋 is it messy idk

i havent proof read so im assuming its ok. if its ooc mb brother.

their personalities are hard to capture anyways live laufh love the lookism blondes <3 the hottest in the game frl

[crow-ur-beloved]

various jrwi headcanons because the worms in my brain (potential autism) wont shut up. no real plot spoilers except for one, but its marked :]

the suckening:

shilo is like vampire immunocompromised, which added to the pile of reasons his mom used to keep him inside the castle because she didnt want him to immediately get 37 different diseases and Die. (if vampires can have allergies then id like to think they can also get sick. i dont actually know if thats possible in the vtm system but i dont care they can in my heart)

genderfuck/genderpunk afab emizel. i feel like thats the only label he'd use, if he had to have one. i dont think hed label his sexuality because he wants to be an enigma. but he Definitely likes men.

bizley said in the qna something that can Only let me think of shilo as aromantic. maybe aro And ace... i dont remember what he said exactly aughhgh i wish i did...

shilo fidgets with his hands like all the time. his mother and uncle tried to get him to stop and sit still because it wasnt very princely and whatnot but my boy needs a fidget toy. i think hed go craaaazy with an infinity cube

i feel like me saying arthur bennett is a bisexual doesnt even count as a headcanon like i think thats just a given. i feel like itd be more surprising if i said i thought he was straight. all beautiful beautiful vampire men have to be lgbtq. its the law actually

arthur never officially broke up with mary. mans just Left one day without warning. probably left a note that said "sorry. -arthur" on it. i doubt he had it in him to say goodbye to her face or his reasoning for it (he thought hed inevitably hurt her because of what he is and what he did to the people he loved in the past, because bad luck seems to follow him everywhere... oughh he makes me ill). he definitely used finding a new lead on anya somewhere else in the country as a good reason to dip. at least, as good a reason as it couldve been for him.

maybe controversial but i 100% think arthur and magnus had a one-night stand at the beginning of their relationship, before magnus met jerome, and they never talked about it again and pretend it never happened. cannot explain how real this is to me.

riptide:

ftm chip who 100% innately knew he was a dude since the moment he could think. like when the black rose pirates picked him up, he got confused when they started referring to him as a girl at first. probably never got The Talk from them, so was Very confused when he hit puberty. Reuben reluctantly helped him steal to pay for top surgery.

since tritons live at the bottom of the ocean, they would have eyes that are far more sensitive to light to allow them to see better since little light gets all the way down there. gillion was Immediately blinded by the sun when he surfaced and still gets headaches from how bright it is in the oversea, but they've gotten better the longer he's been up there. tritons are built to adapt to all kinds of conditions, so his eyes have slowly been getting a darker bluish-purple the longer he spends above the ocean; they were originally more of a light blue-grey.

in tandem with the last one, chip thinks hes either going crazy or a bad friend because he Swears gill's eyecolor is different than last week but how could that be possible, thats not just something he can do, right? why would he be able to do that???

if gillion gets knocked onto his back without warning he does that thing that sharks do where they get paralyzed for a bit when they get flipped upside down. its scary because he can see everything but cant do anything. he also definitely forgot to tell chip and jay about this fact and scared the Shit out of them the first time it happened around them.

gillion can also change his sex like some fish can. its the reason he can lay eggs. i think this makes it safe to say genderfluid/nonbinary/generally trans gillion tidestrider is highly possible and even probable in this headcanon. what im saying is t4t fish n chips.

not to headcanon all my favs as trans but i cant help it. it is the highest honor i can bestow upon them. anyways. mtf jay ferin. ava always knew and was the first person jay came out to. jay was also 100% named jayson after her father and went by jay most of her life anyway as a nickname and just decided to stick with it instead of picking anything else. may was always very openly-supportive of her. jayson was as supportive as a generally strict, overbearing, unsupportive-in-everything father can be. jay totally came out to him and the first thing he said to her was something like, "as long as it doesnt interfere with your navy training," and may promptly kicked him under the table and made him say something nice.

kiras trans too btw. she came out before jay and helped jay discover she was trans. and that she liked women.

(spoilers for 109 and beyond) chip can't entirely remember what he looks like. everytime he focuses on the illusion of hiding that hes practically just a skeleton now, it changes just a bit. freckles in the wrong places, the wrong shade of orange for his flame tattoos, too much light in his eyes, too much muscle on his arms. jay notices it but cant bring herself to say anything. she knows the illusion is meant to keep everyone from worrying, but, everytime she sees something off about it, she just remembers what he really looks like underneath, and that somehow feels worse.

blood in the bayou:

all these bitches gay as hell. kian is pan. rands got a lot of internalized homophobia. rolan probably too. its the 80s, man.

apotheosis (haven't finished it yet so idk how true these'll be lol):

agender rumi. godbless.

also rumis a theater kid. he got the lead in every musical he auditioned for because he could literally just shapeshift. theyd make up a new identity and appearance for every role and get to know everyone on the cast and then mysteriously drop off the face of the planet as that person when the production was over and nobody would know it was them.

peter has actually tried All Kinds of things. weed. yoga. multilevel marketing schemes. you name it, big chance hes done it at least once and didnt like it. he doesnt know how he ends up in the situations to try it, either.

[wicchyy]

0.1 — drunkfession ; james potter

sum: alcohol has both you and James thinking about what could’ve been

warnings: drunk teens

notes: wrote this months ago but its literal shit needed to clear my notes tho!

James stumbled in his steps as he climbed up the corridor stairs. His head was heavy, his eyes bleary, but even in his drunken state he was still able to make out the person stood before him.

Judging by your puffy lips and reddened cheeks, he was able to either guess you were drunk or had been crying. Your hair fell in its silky locks, tangled by the ends. James just wished he could comb through them, make them look perfectly straight just how he liked it. His heart ached a bit when your eyesight avoided him immediately.

He knew he’d hurt you, he knew how you and him didn’t talk much more these days, didn’t joke around even when you’d been promised a friendship still. But none of those compared to you avoiding eye contact with him.

The breakup didn’t go well. He had convinced you that both of you weren’t good for each other. And maybe you weren’t. Things were messy for you, and he was in a complicated situation as well. You’d gone through a list of hookups after. But James, James had gotten into a semi serious relationship with Lily Evans. At first he tried to hide it, then things got more complicated and James couldn’t keep things away any longer. The news came a few months after your breakup, but the fact hurt, and maybe mixed with a bit of alcohol in your senses— you had broke down to the pictures of them together.

James didn’t knew what was going on in his head then, maybe he enjoyed Lily’s company, maybe he did like her. But if he did, then why was he so completely over her in just a week, or why— even worse, was his heart panging in his chest and his heartbeat ringing through his ears when he sees you like this.

And why, when the air gets colder and the leaves turn browner does he have you feeling like his girl again?

“Hi.” He starts simply.

You wave your hand, “You can cross, Potter.”

He wants to speak, but the words don’t come out right, “I— I don’t—“

“You know, you can speak to me properly. Know you’re drunk ‘n all, but it’s really not that hard, Potter.”

“What d’you mean?” He asks harshly.

You lean away from the wall, “I mean, you’ve been avoiding me all the time. ‘S not like I’ve done anything wrong, have I?”

“Oh, c’mon Y/n. I—“

“Why’re you even here?” You slurred, “Shouldn’t you be busy with Lily?”

He rolled his eyes, clearly irritated by the question. “I have an actual life other than her, thank you very much. And besides— ‘s not like we were anything.”

You knew. Of course you knew. You were friends with Sirius and Marlene, Merlin, one of those were bound to say something. “Really?” You asked, not to sound too interested or anything.

He hmm-ed, answering simply.

“Then why’d you break up with me?”

One. Two. The seconds passed by just as direct as your words. Unsurprisingly aiming for his heart.

“You know I cant answer that, Y/n.”

You scoffed, “Why not? Haven’t had actual closure all this time. Might as well, right? We’re both drunk, probably wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning.”

Truthfully, even if you were drunk off your arse, you knew you wouldn’t forget about anything about this night. Even starting from this moment, it had all been captured and stored in your memory. Just like all the other ones with James in it, it was tucked in the safe space of the small slot in your heart.

“Yes. No— lie. I remember everything with you in it.” Just like your minds were the same, he admitted just a bit more bravely than you.

“I just want to understand, Jamie.”

There it was. Jamie. He knew the nickname was coming, and yet he still expected a small heart attack to occur when you pronounced the name so gently, just like you used to.

“I know you do.” He sighed, running a hand through his mess of curls. “But I don’t know either. My head was a mess, just like you were. And I guess— I guess I never apologized to you and never helped you through it. But you should know, Y/n, I really am sorry for all of it.”

Your eyes shot up to the ceiling, avoiding the mess of tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. “I didn’t ask for your apology. I asked why.”

More tugging on his hair, “I don’t— don’t know, Y/n. I guess, things were really messy and I did the first thing that came to mind instead of thinking it through.”

“You should’ve spoke to me. Asked me for help. Or something. I was there for you, Jamie. You had me, just like I thought I had you.”

The words cut. He knew, and you knew too.

“You were there for me?”

You rolled your eyes again at him, a small laugh escaping and your voice going down. “You know you’ll always have me, right Jamie? No need to be so choosy with my words.”

His beautiful hazel eyes light up, “I know.”

“You avoided me. You acted like I didn’t exist.” You frowned. Even with his poor eyesight, James could see your eyes turn glassy.

“Honey—“ James stopped himself, “Sorry, Y/n. I— I didn’t know you felt that way. You said you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“What?” You suppressed the want to smack his head, “When did I ever say that, you idiot?”

“I dunno! I just got the vibe!”

“You’re so stupid, Potter! This is why I hate you!”

“You don’t hate me.”

“Yes, I do.”

James scoffs, “You could never hate me.”

“Right, because you’ve treated me so perfectly.” You mumbled.

The staircase didn’t have much air as the window was far on the top end. You felt yourself getting hotter, particularly the heat reaching up to your cheeks when James clicked his tongue and pursed his lips.

“Let me treat you perfectly then.” He offered, you weren’t sure if he meant it or if it were just one of his mindless, drunk flirting. Probably the latter.

You scoffed, “Not a chance, Potter.”

“I mean it.” He took a step forward. His fingers twitched, itching to grab ahold of yours. He knew just then what it’d feel it, yours were cold and his was warm. He knew it was like whatever this was between you two, just something teetering on the edge, if he had a chance to grab ahold of you he knew he could warm you right up. But James hadn’t yet trusted himself if he was able to earn your heart and not break it again.

“I have experience in not believing what you mean.”

“I wanted it to be you, Y/n. So badly.” He confessed in a whisper.

“Then why not?” You only dared to ask as the tears finally drop gently across your cheeks.

Why not? Well, it was quite clear then why not. Because his robes were decorated with red and gold and meanwhile yours were lined with astute silver and green.

You. Always you. How could he ever forget … about you? Even if it’s been months since your breakup, and months since you’ve spoken so intimately with each other, everything about this felt natural.

“You know why not.”

You rolled your eyes, pretty sure your cheeks have been rained with black mascara by now. “It sucked to see you trailing after Lily for weeks. It sucked because I knew how it felt having you on mine.”

“I’m sorry.”

You scoffed, trying to lighten the mood with your insistent remarks the whole conversation. “You’ve said that before.”

“Honey.” James smirked ever so slighty. He moved his face closer to you until you could feel his breath fanning over your nose. “I’m so, so sorry.” Your cold choulder was suddenly touched by a warm presence, his fingers creeping up to twiddle with the thin strap of your dress.

“Jamie..” your voice wavered, serving as a warning to James.

“I could have you forgiving me so easily, you know that?”

You decided then, if James wanted to play this game then you could compete as well. “How about, you spend more time trying to get a sincere apology to me ready by next morning. Maybe then I’ll see if I’m ready to forgive you.”

“God, I had you tearing up a minute ago and now you’re back to this?” James panted.

Your hand pushed at his chest, “See you in the morning, Potter.”

James smiled politely, the smile you hated. Then his head dipped lower and pressed a singular light kiss on your clavicle. “Goodnight, then.” He whispered against your skin.

“Ugh. Goodnight, Potter.” You replied swiftly before quickly leaving.

💌 thanks for reading lovie! support me by reblogging <3

[loveywon]

♡𓂃 BREAK MY HEART AGAIN !

part 2 here!

pairing: jungwon x (gn) reader x niki

wc: 3.3k+

synopsis: you cant help but let jungwon break your heart. again. (inspired by let you break my heart again by laufey!)

warnings: ANGST, high school au, cursing i think i cant remember, sullyoon (nmixx) mentioned, not proofread, ANGST AGAIN BIG WARNING SRSLY, niki loves reader so bad, jungwon is kinda mean but not intentionally, reader needs to open their eyes srsly

a/n: everyone say thank u laufey for putting out one of the best songs ever!!! also this fic did NOT turn out the way i planned it.. niki wasnt even supposed to be in here😭 and the ending was also not planned PLS

“I’m sorry, Y/n, I can’t date you right now…” Jungwon says awkwardly, his hand rubbing the nape of his neck as he avoids eye contact with you. You should have expected this, really. The evidence was all right in front of you, but you chose to ignore it. 

“That’s fine! I know that you can’t…I just wanted to let you know,” you smiled up at him, despite his avoidant eyes. Jungwon nods at you, his kind and soft eyes meeting yours. He knows you, and he knows that your smile doesn’t reach your eyes like they normally do whenever he would crack a lame joke or when he would do something affectionate towards you. 

His lips curve into a slight smile, although the corner of his eyes don’t crinkle up. “Maybe in a few years, yeah? We’ll still be friends, Y/n. I could never leave you.” He promises, he promised. So why, three years later, you’re standing in the hallway while you see Jungwon mess with some girl’s hair that’s not your own? 

Niki jogs up to you, not reading the full situation since he arrived at school late (again). “Y/n! Did you see the fight out..side…” his eyes follow where your own are staring at, and he frowns. He doesn’t say anything, but instead he decides to direct your attention to something else. “Y/n! We’re gonna be late to history, c’mon!” He ushers, though he could care less about being late to history.

You met Niki a year after Jungwon rejected you, and you immediately introduced him to your friend group after. You never told him about your feelings for Jungwon, although you didn’t need to. Niki knew – after all, it was quite obvious with the way you swooned and giggled whenever Jungwon would do literally anything. 

Niki tugs on your arm like a little kid until you get annoyed, finally tearing your gaze away from Jungwon and the other girl talking. He smiles at you, but you don’t return it. You keep your head down, walking side by side with your friend as you look over your shoulder, still wishing that it was you with Jungwon instead of her. 

You weren’t the one three years ago, and you’re not the one now. 

Your hands ball into a fist after you were too far down the hall to see Jungwon clearly, and Niki is still rambling about something mindlessly while you’re buried in your own thoughts. You almost bump into another student and Niki has to drag your arm closer to him so you don’t crash into someone. 

“Y/n,” he whines out in a drag, wanting you to pay attention to him. You reply with a hum, not in the mood to say much after seeing Jungwon with someone else that isn’t you. 

The frown finds its way back onto his features, swinging your arm with his hand that’s gripped onto your forearm. “Wanna come over tonight? My mom let me buy this new game after saving up and I wanna show you!” He replaces the frown with a smile when you finally look at him. You give him a slight grin which makes him beam, but your following words cause his eyes to drop.

“I can’t, me and Jungwon are studying for bio tonight at my place. Maybe tomorrow? And we can go to that cafe you wanted to bring me last week too,” you offer with a tilt of your head.

It’s always like this. It’s always Jungwon first to you. At this point, Niki’s used to it and he almost expects you to hang out with him the next day. He supposes that next time, he’ll just have to ask you earlier before Jungwon does. 

Niki nods, giving a smaller smile this time before the both of you walk into your class. 

“Jungwon, hey!” You wave excitedly down the hall where Jungwon awaits by his locker for you. He leans off his locker, his head looking up from his phone as he spots you. He waves back at you, a smile gracing his features. Niki is following close behind you, but he’s too busy on his phone and doesn’t give Jungwon a form of greeting before he’s actually face to face with him.

“Okay, I’m gonna go, see you tomorrow, Y/n,” Niki says goodbye to you and gives Jungwon a nod before leaving.

“Ready to spend five hours reading a textbook?” You try to joke, nudging Jungwon lightly with your elbow, but instead of giving a lighthearted laugh and returning your joke, he’s glancing at his phone and smiles down at the screen.

You look away, your bottom lip in between your teeth. This was so awkward. After Jungwon rejected you, he actually never did get with anyone else, but he has been talking to a few people here and there throughout your high school career, so you were used to this routine. But he’s never smiled at a text before. 

“Huh? Sorry, what did you say?” Jungwon asked after putting his phone in his back pocket. You know he doesn’t do this on purpose – there is no mean bone in Jungwon for him to ever do something like this to purposely and intentionally hurt you. It’s one of the many reasons why you love him, you suppose. 

“Oh, nothing,” you mumble as you look away, the two of you walking down the sidewalk. You don’t notice this, but you always have to match his pace to walk side by side as his legs naturally walk fast because of his busy schedule, being in multiple sports and clubs. “Are you prepared for this week’s test?”

“What? We have a test this week?!” Jungwon panics, almost halting in his steps to look at you as you struggle to catch up with him. “Yeah! It’s on Friday…it’s literally in three days. You didn’t know?” You ask. This is the first. Normally Jungwon is the one to remind you of a test in your one shared class together.

“Shit,” he curses, running a hand through his hair. You two continue walking to your house and you laugh a little to ease up his sudden stressed mood. “It’s okay! That’s why we’re studying today, right? I’ll help you,” you smile, giving him a reassuring thumbs up, “but this is the first time you don’t know of a test, are you feeling okay?” You chuckle in a joking manner, turning the lock on the door and letting him enter first inside your home.

“Yeah…guess I got distracted,” he muttered. He makes his way straight to your room, knowing where it is as he’s been over more than enough times. You follow behind him, closing your door as you drop your backpack onto the floor.

“Distracted? From what?” You expect his answer to be something like ‘Oh, just sports’, so his answer knocks the wind out of you.

“I’m planning to ask out Sullyoon…” he trails off, not wanting to meet your eyes. He didn’t want to hide anything from you, you were his best friend! But when he takes a slight peek at you, and notices that your jaw is agape and your eyes no longer twinkling like they normally do whenever you look at him, why does he feel guilty? Was that even the right word to describe the ache in his heart when he sees your smile falter, eyes gazing down at your hands? Look at me, please, he thinks to himself, but he’s not sure if he really wants to see your sad eyes look at him like he was the worst thing that has ever happened to you.

You think, in a way, he is. But you know yourself well enough to know that you’d let Jungwon in your heart no matter how many times he breaks it.

He wants to change the subject, maybe back to biology because he actually wants to get a good score, but his first priority will always be you, and he doesn’t want to belittle your feelings just because of a silly little test grade that will barely affect his overall percentage, anyway. 

“Is…is that okay?” He asks after some silence, unsure on how to approach this. You blink, eyes still staring at the ground, but you quickly look at him after he speaks.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” You say, which catches him off-guard. “Jungwon…you can date whoever you want. Why are you asking me as if you’re asking permission or something,” you laugh it off, but you feel like you’re really more fighting your inner demons rather than seeing it as no big deal.

You’re too nice, Jungwon thinks. He doesn’t deserve you, he really doesn’t. A smile appears on his face, dimples and all showing on his cheeks. “Really?” He says excitedly, and it hurts you even more to see that he’s so excited to ask out Sullyoon. “So, you’ll help me ask her out? Cause I don’t really know what to do, honestly.” He asks, and you feel like you’ve been stabbed in the heart a million times.

You can’t say no. Not to Jungwon. And you hate him for that. 

“Sure.” You smile. 

The following day, you keep your promise to Niki and go to the café he wanted to show you and to see his new game. Although your mood is obviously deflated after last night’s study session with Jungwon, Niki decides to make it his life mission to make you smile and laugh. 

“Oh my gosh, this strawberry croissant looks so good,” you gasp, bending down slightly as you look through the clear glass that showcases many different pastries. 

“I know! When I came here a few weeks ago, I knew you would like it. We can get it and share, if you want!” Niki offers, giving a smile as you point and admire every pastry. 

“Really??” You look up at him, toothy smile and all, and he nods in response. He pays, because he would buy the moon for you if it meant seeing you smile. He thinks Jungwon wouldn’t do the same for you. 

You two enjoy the pastry, giggling about whatever happened at school that day or complaining about the overwhelming amount of homework your teachers assigned before walking to his home to check out his game. 

Niki thinks he successfully distracted you from whatever was bugging you since last night (he already has a hunch that it’s because of Jungwon), but you’re walking slower than you usually do and your head is slightly lowered. It’s probably not obvious to others that you’re in a sour mood, but it’s definitely obvious to Niki. 

“Y/n,” he starts, but you cut him off before he says anything else. 

“Jungwon wants to ask Sullyoon out,” you blurt, looking up at him with your bottom lip jutted out like you’re about to cry, and you feel like you are. Niki thinks he’s never felt his emotions affected by someone before. 

“Oh,” is all he says, because what exactly can he say? He’s mad, yes. He’s mad at Jungwon, because he can’t seem to understand why Jungwon would ever choose anyone over you. 

“And I’m helping him by asking her,” you breathe out, like it's the hardest thing you’ve ever said in your entire life. Scratch that — confessing to Jungwon was the hardest thing. 

“Oh.” Niki’s not good at comforting, but he wants to, so bad, for you, he would learn every language in the world. 

“He’s never…Jungwon’s never liked someone enough to ask them out. But I—“ your voice breaks and Niki swears a part of him breaks as well. You guys finally reach his house, and he gestures for you to enter first with a tilt of his head. You enter, walking straight to his room because you know his house like the back of his hand. 

You then realize; Jungwon’s always over at yours, but you’ve been in his house once and it was only to drop off homework from when he was feeling sick and you didn’t even go in. You have no idea what his house looks like, but you know every knick knack about Niki’s. 

As you two enter his room, he sits on the edge of his bed and pats the spot next to him. He may not be good at words, but he can offer a comforting shoulder. You give a slight, but weak, smile in appreciation and you sit next to him and instantly lean your head on his shoulder like it’s nature. 

This isn’t the first time, and Niki knows this won’t be the last time that you use him as comfort whenever Jungwon talks to someone new. He’s okay with that. He’ll wait for you like you wait for Jungwon. 

“Niki,” you say his name for the first time the entire day. You’re not crying, you already wasted enough tears on Jungwon. 

“Hm?” Niki hums, his fingers playing with your own, and it’s a little too intimate for Niki’s usual liking, but he’s willing to step out of his boundaries for you. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, and even though you don’t clarify what you’re thanking him for, Niki knows. He knows that you’re thanking him for being with you for two years, pining after Jungwon and using Niki as a shoulder to cry on. 

His eyes droop down, and he’s upset that he met you. He’s upset he met you in this universe, where you’re hung up on your crush on Jungwon, and not another where you two can live happily ever after, without Jungwon plaguing your mind. 

Niki vividly remembers the time you two met. It was in ceramics class, and you were there because you genuinely liked pottery and he was there because he just had to fulfill his visual arts credit. He struggled on the wheel, the clay always never staying up because he made it too thin every time. You noticed him struggling after observing for a week straight, and decided to finally lend a helping hand. 

After that, he followed you around school and walked with you to your classes (with Jungwon, of course, he’s always with you), and now you’re just used to his presence and he’s used to yours. What started off as a mere friendship, he’s now attached to you, despite knowing that you will never see him the same way you see Jungwon. 

A week later after helping Jungwon with a plan to ask Sullyoon out, it was unfolding right in front of you. With Jungwon’s back facing you, and seeing Sullyoon’s face beam with light when Jungwon asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend, you visibly cringe. 

You just didn’t understand. What did she have that you didn’t, and why did Jungwon want her, and not you, who has been by his side ever since fifth grade? It’s been three years since you’ve confessed – you thought you’d get over it by now, but seeing them hug affectionately in front of you, made your eyes drop to the ground, hands balled up into a fist as you fight against any bitter emotions bubbling in your chest. 

You don’t notice that Niki is watching from afar. He had just gotten out of detention, and didn’t expect to see you in the school halls an hour after school had ended. He almost got excited, perhaps you were waiting for him to get out of detention so you could go to the cafe together again, or maybe you wanted to see his video game that you didn’t see last week!

But then, he sees Jungwon and Sullyoon hugging and your still figure watching them. He frowns deeply. Why do you still stick around? He supposes he should know the answer. He sticks around for you, so there’s no difference between you and him, really. 

You turn on your heel and leave the school, not saying goodbye to Jungwon or Sullyoon. You think if you see Jungwon turning to you with a bright smile that you know is not from you, you’ll start crying. 

Niki follows behind silently, not wanting Jungwon to notice him as he follows you out of the school. He catches up to you, despite your rushed pace because you want to get far away from where the love of your life and his now girlfriend is. 

“Y/n! Hey…” He says, jogging up to you and matching your pace when he’s side by side with you. 

You looked up at him, shocked. You forgot he had detention, so he must’ve gotten out right when Jungwon had asked Sullyoon out. You turn away, hair falling forward to cover your eyes. “Hi.”

He frowns again. “You want my shoulder?” He offers.

You smile slightly, it’s such a weak smile, and Niki knows that, but he appreciates your efforts. “If that’s okay with you.” 

You find yourself in your living room with Niki, head buried into his shoulder as you cry, because you just can’t wrap your head around the fact that Jungwon said he’d date you in a few years. He promised! He never broke promises. He promised in fifth grade when you two met that he’d never leave your side and that you’d always be first to him. You suppose he broke two promises now. 

Niki’s softly playing with your hair, not looking at you. He can’t look at you in this state, because when you cry, he wants to cry too. He wishes you could see that he’s been here, and maybe not as long as Jungwon, but he thinks that he knows you more than Jungwon does. 

You know that you’ll let Jungwon break your heart again. 

You think that one day, you’ll find someone who will like you like you like Jungwon.

Niki thinks that one day, you’ll realize that he sees you more than a friend and a shoulder to cry on.

Someday, one day, you’ll let Jungwon stop breaking your heart, but Niki knows that he’ll follow closely behind you, picking up every small piece and treasure it like his life depends on it. 

You end up falling asleep on Niki’s shoulder after crying on it for what feels like hours. Niki knows his shirt is slightly damp, but he doesn’t mind. You’re softly snoring, your body leaned against him. He knows you must’ve been exhausted. He knows you helped Jungwon the best you could, despite the fact that you’re hopelessly in love with him, and he hates that you did that, but he also loves you for it.

Jungwon is excitedly opening your front door, because he knows he’s welcomed into your home any time he pleases, but as he’s going towards your room, he finds Niki on your couch. He’s confused, but he doesn’t question until he spots pieces of your hair from over the couch. 

Niki doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want to wake you, but he looks at Jungwon with a pointed expression, and Jungwon knows immediately what Niki was trying to express. He frowns, not at Niki, but at himself. He didn’t realize that he affected you this much, he had a feeling that you didn’t move on from him but he also didn’t think that you were still this caught up on him.

He feels terrible, he feels like absolute shit, because he also realizes that he broke two of his promises. Then, something else swirls in his gut as you shift in your sleep, head burying into Niki’s neck. He doesn’t understand this feeling, and a part of him doesn’t want to. 

He’s with Sullyoon now, isn’t he? So why, is he standing in the middle of your home, with jealousy stirring in his chest? 

part 2 is here!

taglist!: @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs

[ravcns]

Runaway

Batfam x batsis!reader

info: growing up in the spotlight does some damage especially when you can’t catch a break, reader was adopted by bruce and this takes place in the last year of highschool

F/F/P = favorite food place

part: 1 2 3 4

Four girls walked together being escorted by a few staff members, flashing lights from students holding up their phones went off. The tallest one shielded the shorter girl’s face from the cameras until they arrived at the principals office. “Thank you Marie.” The girl smiled, “No problem. Is your dad coming or is he in some fancy conference?” She asked you, causing a laugh to escape from you. “He cant even make it to dinner I doubt he would make it to this.” You told her as the four of you sat in different chairs. “I wish my parents were chill my mom is going to kill me.” Camilla said, hugging her legs to her chest. “You’re so lucky that your dad never bothers you Y/N.” You forced a smile, “Yeah.”

Time seemed to move slow in the office. Nobody spoke to the girls, making them more nervous. The secretary that everybody knew was hooking up with their principal even though he was a married man would give them dirty looks every few minutes. Her name was Cheryl and she was one of the people who always managed to get your friend group in trouble, trying to get into the principal’s good graces. Eventually one by one each girl was called in until it was you. Your heart broke at the sight of Loralei coming out crying and her mom dropping a smile, immediately yelling at her in french. The secretary came out “Y/N Wayne.” She called your name with distaste. “L/N.” You said standing up and following her to the office.

The principal, Mr. Anderson, sat at his desk with a grim expression. “Take a seat Miss Wayne, you can leave Cheryl.” The old door creaked as it closed. “Miss Wayne-” “L/N.” You corrected him. “Miss L/N, are you aware of the trouble that you are in?” Then he continued, “Here at Gotham Academy we have a reputation to uphold. It seems you continuously try to tarnish that even though you come from a good background.” “Just because some rich dude adopts a kid does not mean they had a good background.” You said those last two words sarcastically. “Your father hasn’t answered any of our calls. Do you have a second contact that we can inform of the situation to come down here?” Mr. Anderson asked. You didn’t want to call the golden child but your first option was legally dead. “Dick Grayson, I’ll write down his number.” You tuned everything out when he called your brother.

Three knocks rang out before Mr. Anderson spoke, “Come in.” “I have Mr. Grayson here.” Cheryl informed him. You wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear. The uniform you had on felt suffocating. “Mr. Anderson, Hi.” Dick greeted, taking the seat next to you. He looked at you weirdly which you couldn’t understand why until you inhaled the scent on your clothes.“Thank you for being here on such short notice.” Mr. Anderson shuffled some papers in front of him. “Y/N was among a group of girls who were caught by a staff member skipping classes in the girls lockeroom.” “Don’t you guys usually give detention for these things?” Dick asked, hoping you weren’t participating in the activity that caused the smell. “Mr. Grayson this isn’t her first offense. That’s not all they were also smoking the female staff member who walked in caught your sister with this.” He took your cart out to show him. Dick sighed, “What’s the punishment?” “We can kick her out of the school and this will be on her permanent record. It would make it quite difficult for Y/N to attend another school up to these standards.” He paused for a second as an idea crossed his mind, “$200 for this incident to be erased and for her to keep attending. This deal will be void if she manages to break the rules again during the last three months of school.” Dick took the deal and grabbed your arm, dragging you out of your seat.

The ride home was quiet until he parked in the driveway. “How old are you now?” He asked sarcastically, resting his hands on the steering wheel. “18.” “You need to act your age I don’t know what’s going on but what you pulled today was stupid. What would have happened if he wasn’t greedy? You wouldn’t be able to get into any colleges with that on your record.” You stared out the window at the suddenly intimidating house, “I’m getting suspended from patrol aren’t I?” You knew it was pointless asking, once Bruce heard about what had happened today you would be lucky if you were only suspended for awhile. “Just go inside.” Dick said, not meeting your eyes. So you did what he told you. As soon as you were out the front door you saw him through the windshield looking upset then he pulled out the driveway, quickly speeding off.

The house seemed empty you just locked the door and went up to your room, finally checking your phone. There was an active facetime call in your friends group chat so you joined. They all greeted you then Loralei asked, “So what happened?” You took a seat at your desk before speaking, “That greedy bitch wanted a bribe and my brother had to pay him.” “So that’s why he said it was taken care of and wouldn’t be on our record they had you pay.” Camila stated, clearly disgusted. “Way to take one for the team.” Marie joked. “I don’t even want to be here right now. When Bruce finds out what happened I am screwed.” You were afraid of what could happen then again how does somebody go from being an unwanted 17 year old in an orphanage to some famous potential heir to a company. Suddenly the group chat with all your siblings started going crazy. Then a phone call from crowbar chomper came in. “Hold on my brother is calling me.” You accepted it, “Hello.” “My dear sister it seems that you have gotten into some trouble.” Jason said. The sound of wind could be heard in the background so you assumed he was on his motorcycle. “Yes it appears that way.” He laughed, “If you want to lay low for the weekend come to my apartment. I already spoke to Roy he’s cool with it.” The offer was tempting so you took it. “Sounds good, I’ll pack a bag.” “Roy will be there in ten minutes. We planned to kidnap you if you didn’t say yes.” Jason informed you, causing a smile to grace your face for the first time that day. “Love you too.” You said. “I’ll see you later Cliff jumper.” He said then hung up. The name came from the amount of times you have been thrown off of a cliff or just even high places in general. You finished packing your bag then grabbed your backup cart.

Time passed quickly and soon Roy called you. “I’m out front.” He said. “I’ll be down in a sec.” You hung up then left your room. However on the couch downstairs was Damian. “L/N, making your escape?” He words held distaste, which was new. You and him got along pretty well since he was only a year younger than you. “Yes and I would appreciate it if you don’t tell Bruce until he realizes it.” You explained, hoping he would agree. “Okay.” Damian looked like he wanted to say something but just went back to looking at his phone, probably texting Rachel. You quickly walked out the front door, jumping in Roy’s car. “Wanna stop and get food? We have to go grocery shopping tomorrow morning.” He told you. “Sure, can we get something from F/F/P?” You asked. “Sounds good.”

At the apartment you two sat on the stools in front of the counter, talking about the most random things. The topic of father figures came up. “Does it ever get easier?” You asked him. Roy took a sip of his drink then answered, “Sometimes, other times shit can happen. You can still fix things you know? You haven’t even spoken to Bruce yet.” “He is always in some fucking meeting even when I finally see him he just suspends me for a week or two. It’s like I’m just something he quickly tries to deal with and then ignore it until there is a problem again.” You explained to him. “Kid you still got years to figure this stuff out, but you will.” He took a bite of his food then spoke after he finished chewing, “And hey maybe the family dynamic just isn’t working, it’s not your fault. The Batgirl mantle can become something else.” Suddenly you weren’t interested in your food anymore. “I can see it but that’s the problem, I don’t know who I am if i’m not her. Everyone else who had the title did so much but I keep making mistakes.” Roy had this knowing look on his face. “Your 18 now I say let Bruce suspend Batgirl, pick up a new mantle, and figure it out from there. Or you could start a regular life who knows, it may do wonders.”

The front door opened and Jason walked in, taking a seat across from you. “So what are we talking about?” He asked. “I think it’s time this bat flew the cave.” Roy said. “Now that sounds like a plan.” Jason stated, stealing some of your food. You picked up your phone to see the time, they would all be out on patrol right now. You took the time to update your friends, choosing the larger group chat first; arkham escapees. They thought you faced the wrath of Bruce. Once being informed of what happened Eunwoo complained, “Who’s going to set me up with her hot brother now.” When asked who he meant the junior replied with, “All of them.” But then also added how he hoped you were okay and didn’t get sent off to some reform school upstate New york or some rural midwest one. You sent a quick text, “guys i am ok i didn’t see bruce yet i’m staying w my brother at his place 🫡.” Then you checked the news. Jason and Roy talking to one another while you scrolled. Texts came in from your friends Kim, Callan, Thalia, Jake, Evan, and Naomi. “next thing you know they got her on the news as a runaway.” Naomi joked. “#FREE Y/N 2023.” Jake said. “retweet” Thalia replied. “Ok but what if the news actually does coverage on this?” Eunwoo asked. “Don’t speak that into existence smh.” Kim told him.

Suddenly your phone started ringing and you threw it down on the table. Jason took a look at who was calling and said, “Just answer it they can track your phone so they know your here.” You turned you phone off, Taking out your personal one that you have under an account with a fake id. You texted the other gc they had with this number. “ou she’s on her burner phone guys.” Camila said. “it’s an iphone 12 pro goodbye.” you told them. “Since when did you have that? Jason asked. “Around six months after I moved in.” You replied.

It was 11:00pm and you were growing tired. Jason noticed and said, “Take my room I will take the couch.” “No it’s fine I can sleep on the couch.” You said. “Y/N, I will put you in there and board up the door. There’s enough granola bars to last you a month and the bathroom is connected to there so you will be good.” He joked. “Okay Okay I’ll take the bed. Goodnight.” You got up and grabbed your bag and went to the room. It was very clean which surprised you but then again, they usually were sleeping at their safe houses or on missions somewhere. The group chat had a call going for an hour or two then you told them goodnight and left to try and sleep. Unlike other things today, sleep came easy for you.

Someone was banging on the front door. You texted the group chat to see who was awake. “bitch someone is at my brothers front door knocking like crazy.” Evan responded immediately, “prob eunwoo tryna get his man.” “I know I thirst over her brothers but keep in mind me and Drew are dating plus we both do so it’s okay.” His text was followed by a picture of him and his partner together on the couch, Drew holding up a picture of Tim and Dick. “tim is literally 20 and dick is even older also how does this help nobody seems to have woken up do i go check.” You texted. “everything aside i think your family probably sent the search party by now.” Drew said, they were being realistic so you decided to get up to go check. “wish me luck.” You sent your last text.

The apartment was dark, dimly lit by the street lights from outside and the moon. You kept your footsteps quiet and checked the peephole. Out of all people you did not expect him. You texted the group chat, “speak of the devil and he shall appear it was tim guys.” “Then who’s place are you at? I thought Dick lived in Bludhaven.” Drew asked. Time to play sibling roulette. You typed up a response, “at dukes place with his friend.” The knocking started up again. This time Jason woke up asking, “Who’s at the door?” “Tim.” You told him. “I’ll answer it go to the room.” He told you, instead you stood in the hallway by the two bedrooms out of site. Roy opened his door, rubbing his eyes, “Do you know what time-” You shushed him, “Tim is here keep it down I wanna eavesdrop.” Jason opened the door, “How much coffee did you drink that you had to come here at four in the morning?” “Y/N didn’t come home and never responded to our group chat. I know she’s here.” Tim said. Jason pretended to be annoyed, “She left yesterday a little bit before midnight, sorry.” He went to close the door. “So you wouldn’t mind if I took a look around?” The younger one asked. Roy came up with an idea, opening his bedroom door so you could go in then he normally walked up to them. “What’s going on I’m trying to sleep.” You could tell Roy stayed here more often based on the state of his room. “Jason I’m tired and don’t feel like playing games, where is she?” Tim asked again. Roy started talking and trying to sympathize with him by saying, “I understand how worried you all must be. I’ll shoot Y/N a text seeing if she wants to hang out to see if she responds.”

Two figures stepped out, one on each side of Tim. Dick and Damian. Dick pushed the door further open and walked inside, looking around. The other two followed. “Tim stay here with them, Damian check Roy’s bedroom I will check Jason’s. It sounded like people were getting closer and you looked around. There wasn’t much hiding space and you knew you were being irrational at this point. You just did not want to go back there right now so you hid in a stupid place, the closet. Footsteps could be heard in the bedroom you had accepted your fate by now. The closet door opened, “You know you could have left through the window.” He said. “Wanna do me a favor?” You asked. “No, father is actually extremely upset about the stunt you pulled in school.” Damian told you, grabbing your arm to get you out of the closet. “Sorry.” He said.

The three men in the entry way looked up when Damian and you came into view. “Thought she wasn’t here?” Dick sarcastically questioned. “Can we go now? I want to sleep.” Tim stated. Jason and Roy looked at you sympathetically as they your siblings escorted you out and to the car. After being on the road for awhile in silence Dick spoke up, “B said he will talk to you after the gala tomorrow.” You had forgotten all about that event. Once again when Dick dropped everyone he sped away very quickly. When you all walked in everyone parted ways. They didn’t even look at you. In your room you changed into fluffy pants and a hoodie then left to go to Cass’ room. Reaching the outside of her room the door opened sometimes you are still surprised by how easily she senses someone being there. She let you in and you cried in her arms. There were many nights like this where your sister comforted you even without saying much, “It will be okay sleep now.” You were almost sorry that you planned on leaving once school ended but decided to push that thought away, falling into a dreamless sleep.

[ohsjy]

ᡴꪫ broken i love yous , after a break up jake sends one last message to you , angst ex!jake

a lighter was lit in the dark of the night. the chilly air caused goosebumps to rise on jake's arm. he could hear your faint voice telling him to put on a jacket but he just shook it away.

it had been three days since his break up with you and here he is, sitting on the porch with a cigarette between his fingers. he promised you he wouldn't smoke everyday, that it was just a stress reliever but now he's breaking his promise.

he promised you a lot of things. promised to stay with you forever. promised to hold you.

promised to love you. and that one he thinks he'll keep forever.

but for now he cant help but wonder what you're doing. are you crying your heart out every five minutes because your heart hurts or are you out finding new people to love?

the only thing jake can do is wonder. he's scared if he even tries to look for you he'll cave and break down. you wanted this and even though you reassured him it wasn't his fault, he thinks it is.

jake takes out another cigarette but before he lights it he remembers your words.

"don't smoke jakey, i want you to be with me forever."

a scoff falls from his lips. you spoke so many lies, so many promises unkept. did you know you were gonna break him? was this your whole plan? because jake really loved you. he'd jump in front of a train if it meant to save you.

jakes phone lit up and just for a second he thought it was you. he hoped it wasn't but deep down he really did want it to be you. he wanted you to apologize and tell him how much you loved him. that you were the worst person ever to break up with someone like him.

jake opened an unread message and sighed. it wasn't you, just a close friend checking up on him. as jake was about to turn off his phone, your contact caught his eye.

he knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help it. he typed out the words 'i love you' like if he was still dating you. like you would actually respond back and tell him you love him too.

jake realized it was all over. you had a clear explanation why you needed to break up with him, so it's really over. jake hit the send button and watched the delivered turn to read.

his breath got stuck in his throat. he thought his wishes came true. you would reply and everything would go back to normal but instead you didn't send anything. you didn't even type anything.

jake felt like he was suffocating. that was his last 'i love you' to you. the very last one that gave him only a silver of hope. but now he's really feeling hopeless.

© ohsjy , idk what this is or how this came about. i just know that i really want to give jake a hug bc this broke my heart.