#i wish i knew what he thinks love is and what hes comfortable with and how he felt and experienced love and if he still loves me like
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄
xavier x reader
while the entire kingdom of philos rejoices over the soon-to-be-born heir to the throne, the king’s unwavering priority remains clear: his queen
genre/warnings: mildly suggestive, fluff, fluff, fluff, comfort, king!xavier and queen!reader, pregnancy, spoilers! from xavier's myth shooting stars and taking elements of xavier's card silvery polyphony
note: i'm not actually a xavier girlie... but ever since his myth and anecdote when shooting stars fall, he's been marinating in my head :')
“Your Majesty, here are the gifts meant for the Queen by the townsfolk.”
Xavier’s gaze swept over the various trinkets that filled the throne room—from fine fabrics and glistening pearls, to handwritten messages with heartfelt wishes for the future royal baby and your wellbeing. He raised an eyebrow, a flicker of curiosity crossing his face.
"All this? You’ve inspected every single one of them?" he questioned, gaze flicked to Jeremiah, his aide. His cerulean eyes narrowed slightly. "Nothing with malicious intent?"
Jeremiah shook his head with a smile. "No. They are purely tokens of love and respect for Her Majesty."
"I see..."
Xavier hummed softly, the stiffness in his posture easing as the assurance settled over him—no harm would come to you. In the fifth year of your reign as King and Queen of Philos, it had become clear that the people had come to adore their queen to such an extent.
As they should. The king found himself smiling despite his usual composure then. You were due their respect for all of your service and compassion. And now, with you carrying the future heir to the throne, it was even more deserved.
"Has the Queen been well? She hasn't been around much," Jeremiah asked, a knowing look crossed his face. "After all, you're counting down the days now..."
With the royal physician declaring you were at full-term, you could give birth any day now. Xavier would be lying if he said he wasn't antsy, but the least he could do in front of his subjects was showing an air of indifference.
But of course, Jeremiah knew him best after you.
"Why don't you pay her a visit? And oh, yeah, I think I've heard the maids saying Her Majesty is missing having the King serenading her!"
Your husband had been busy these past few days that he had little time to spend with you each day.
Of course, you missed him. There wasn’t much you could do while in confinement. And so when he entered your chambers on this windy winter day, you were more enthusiastic than you should have—
“Xavier!” You turned to him and smiled so brightly, your excitement making you rise to your feet and scamper towards him.
But he was faster, closing the distance in an instant and catching you before you could take more than a few steps. His hands steadied you, as the heavy weight in your womb proved to be a challenge.
“You’re supposed to be on bedrest,” he scolded, a frown tugging at his features. His hands rested firmly on your shoulders, holding you in place. “Don’t move around too much.”
“I’m fine, I’m fine!” You giggled as he led you to your bed, but before you could settle in, a sharp wave of pain rippled through your abdomen and spine. The smile faltered on your lips as you sucked in a quick breath, instinctively leaning into him for support.
“What's wrong?” Xavier’s voice tensed with concern, his arm tightening around you as his eyes widened in alarm. His free hand hovered protectively over yours, which was clutching your swollen belly. "Is it hurting? I’ll call for—"
“No, no!” You declined amidst your labored breaths, mustering up a smile despite the discomfort. “I’ve consulted the royal physician. It’s perfectly normal for me to experience this... I just have to bear it.”
“How is this normal?” Xavier's brow furrowed with worry and sternness. “If this keeps up, how will you preserve your strength for the real labor?”
He had always detested seeing you in distress. It was evident in all his actions, from the earliest moments of your relationship to this very day, and it made your heart warm.
When the pain subsided, you made him sit on your bed and brought both your hands to cup his face, trying to coax a smile from him.
"Don't worry too much, love." You grinned, eyes crinkling. "On the bright side, it just means that our little star is thiiis close to meeting us."
Xavier found your gaze and for a moment, he stayed silent. His clear blue eyes softened as they held yours. You had always been like this—diminishing your own discomfort in favor of reassuring him, and if you thought it would make him feel better, then you were sorely wrong because his instincts to protect you were deeply engraved in him, and it only fueled his concern further.
His hands settled over yours, pressing them to his face.
“From what I’ve seen, this baby really enjoys bullying you,” he muttered sullenly.
You pursed your lips. “A friendly reminder, you’re the one who got me with child.”
“I’ve always thought that sexual act is the pinnacle of showing the depths of my undying loyalty towards you.” His tone was mock-serious, the edge of a grin tugging at his lips. “The baby is a pleasant gift, what I enjoy more though—”
Before you could protest, his fingers skimmed over your figure, landing with unmistakable familiarity on your ample breasts—
“I like these the most.”
“Xavier!” You swatted his hand away with wide eyes, crossing both arms over your chest in an attempt to block him from further groping.
He chuckled openly at how defensive you were, a playful glint in his eyes. With a soft pat on your head, he stood up and extended his right hand towards you.
“What?” You stared at his hand, almost squeaking, wary that his hands might wander to your sensitive skin again. Xavier let out another chuckle, clearly amused by your reaction.
“I’ve heard through the grapevine that Her Majesty the Queen wants me to serenade her,” he said with a teasing smile. “And as your humble servant, who am I to refuse?”
. . .
You has always adored how Xavier plays the piano.
He claimed he didn't like the instrument that much, but the way his fingers moved over the keys so effortlessly, each note flowing with such precision—it was one of the many ways he captured your heart.
You sat next to him by the grand piano, your head gently bobbing along with the beautiful rhythm he drew from the keys.
“You used to play this a lot back then,” you commented as Xavier started playing the piece he composed himself, one you often referred as ‘his very own soundtrack.’
Celestial Serenade. Xavier even had a name for it. Solemn and playful, it was the beginning that always got your heart racing. But when he reached the bridge, a gnawing sadness would creep in, tugging at your heart.
And suddenly, in that moment, you had an epiphany.
From the days you had loved him as a student in the Academy, and then as a knight and your crown prince, until that heartbreaking day when you had to let him go into the unknown— then those gruelling years of waiting for him, up until he finally came back to restore Philos, to retake his throne, and to make you his queen in the truest sense—
Tears pricked at your eyes at the flashback of everything the two of you had gone through, right after he finished the outro.
Xavier paused, his fingers still on the keys. He turned to you, but his eyes widened as he noticed the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. "Why are you crying?"
"Nothing, I'm just—" Startled, you quickly wiped the tears from your face, but Xavier gently lifted your chin, his touch soft but insistent.
He was worried, his gaze searching yours as if he was struggling to find the right words, his eyes full of concern. "Tell me," he urged quietly, the hint of a tremor in his voice. "What is it? What made you cry?"
How could you explain what you had just realized— the weight of all that had brought you to this moment? The journey, the sacrifices, the love that had never faltered even in the darkest of times?
And it all culminated into one single sentence, as you stared right into those beautiful eyes of his:
“I love you, Xavier.”
In that very second, Xavier could’ve sworn his heart was entirely in your grasp. His breath caught, and the world around him seemed to fade, leaving only you—your teary-eyed confession and the raw honesty in your gaze.
Through countless dawns and twilights, through many starry sea expeditions and a daring voyage to the past— everything he had done led to this precise moment, where happiness is within your reach.
He was overwhelmed by love you gave him, it made his heart so, so full.
Xavier cupped your face with both hands, his thumbs gently wiping away the tears that streaked your cheeks. “Don't cry, you big crybaby. Save it for when we welcome our child later.”
You sniffled, frowning at him. “So, you don’t love me?”
A soft smile played on his lips as he pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in his warmth. He buried his face in the crook of your shoulder.
“Silly... I love you more than anything in this world.”
Three days later, you went into labor.
The palace descended into chaos, with attendants scurrying through the halls. But amidst all the commotion, Xavier was the one who struggled the most to maintain his composure.
Your cries from behind the doors felt like a blade slicing through his chest. He wanted nothing more than to rush in, to hold your hand, to do something—anything—but the midwives had firmly insisted that he stay out of the way.
Xavier’s mind raced with worry, his eyes fixed on the door as though sheer willpower could ease your pain. The only thing that mattered right in this moment was you and the child you were bringing into the world—and it was taking everything in him not to lose his wits.
Then, amidst his fervent prayers, hours later, a piercing cry broke through.
Xavier froze, his heart lurching. Relief and disbelief flooded him all at once as he realized—it was his baby's first cry.
But what about you?
He so desperately wanted to see you that Jeremiah had to physically restrain him. The women assured him you and the baby were being tended to.
When they finally allowed him inside, he rushed in so quickly he nearly stumbled.
There you were, seated on the bed, hair disheveled, exhaustion etched into every line of your face, yet to him, you were radiant—utterly so. His heart swelled as he watched you cradle the newborn, cooing with a tenderness that stole his breath.
“Now, say hi to Papa...”
Your voice was almost feather-like, yet it was in that moment the truth hit him with full force—his baby was really here. He stared at the tiny bundle in your arms, awestruck, before his gaze shifted to your pale face again.
And you smiled at him so brilliantly. So warmly.
“Xavier... say hello to our son.”
He felt like he was in a daze as he slowly kneeled and took the baby into his arms. The small, fragile weight felt both unfamiliar and extraordinary. This child— was a part of him, but most importantly, he was a part of you too.
The baby stirred, and when his eyes blinked open, Xavier’s breath hitched. Those tiny blue eyes, a mirror of his own, locked onto him.
“Ah, he—” Xavier faltered, his chest tightening as emotions overwhelmed him. Holding his son, seeing him so clearly now, felt like an arrow straight to his heart. Before this moment, he hadn’t thought much about how the baby might look. But now, he couldn’t help marveling at the sight. The little one had his hair and eyes, yet your delicate nose and soft, heart-shaped lips.
In that instant, all his doubts and fears melted away like snow under the sun, replaced by a feeling so intense, so overflowing, it brought a lump to his throat and tears in his eyes.
This was love—raw and undeniable. A love he never knew he could feel so deeply, now cradled in his arms.
And also in you.
As his gaze found yours again, Xavier made a vow—to every god and deity that might be listening, that no matter where his life led him, no matter how cruel fate might twist his path, if it meant getting even a glimpse of this unparalleled happiness with you, then—
He would endure it all. Every storm, every trial. For you, for the love you shared, and now for the tiny life in his arms. And if you were ever separated again—
No matter how, no matter how many times, through all means, he will definitely find you, always.
#xavier x reader#lads xavier x reader#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#l&ds x reader#love and deepspace x you#xavier x you#xavier x mc#lads x you#lads smut#love and deepspace xavier#lads xavier#xavier love and deepspace#lads x reader fluff#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace#lads#love and deepspace scenarios#love and deepspace fluff
742 notes
·
View notes
Text
WISH YOU WERE SOBER
sum: confessing to him when you’re drunk
pairing: kinich x gn reader
contains: drunken confession, slight mention of his backstory
a/n: i was listening to “wish you were sober” by Conan Gray and thought of this, this is my first fic so uhhhh enjoy 😀😊⁉️ i have not written a fanfic since middle school and im high asf rn so it might be bad LOL might be ooc
———————————————————————————
This party's shit
Kinich sat around while everyone else was celebrating, he saw how you drank bottle after bottle. It hurt to see someone he cared about so deeply drink, it reminded him of his father, who he hated. But he couldn’t hate you, even if he tried.
wish we could dip, go anywhere but here
After a while you sat next to him, he didn’t want to come; he came for you. You excitedly asked if he was going to the celebration your tribe was having, he only agreed because he knew you would be there.
Don't take a hit, don't kiss my lips
You were awfully clingy when drunk, an equally drunk mualani had to pry you off her. You did the same to him; trying to hug him.
“I love you so much thank you for being my friend!” you cried
friend.
That’s all he was to you, just a friend.
And please don't drink more beer
He took the bottle away from you, he didn’t want you to be sick in the morning. He rolled his eyes as you reached for it, whining.
“Just a little bit~ Come on! It- it won’t hurt..!”
“You drank enough for tonight”
But this is definitely not my crowd
He didn’t really talk to anyone from your tribe besides you and (whoever else is in your tribe that has interacted with him), but he made an effort to come. He poured what was left of the liquor onto the floor and left the bottle on the crate he was sitting.
Take me where the music ain't too loud
Even though you were drunk you could tell he wasn’t comfortable.
“I want to take a walk”
“A walk? Right now? You’re not in a state to even speak properly, much less walk.”
“…Can you take me home?..I’m tired”
He watched as you said goodbye to your friends but couldn’t help but feel jealous. The way you hugged everyone so tightly, you never hugged him like that. When you would they would be quick, barely holding him, or maybe even just a side hug.
Trip down the road, walking you home
“Let’s go trouble magnet”
He put an arm around your waist holding you up so you wouldn’t fall, you could barely walk and he was annoyed, sad even.
“The stars are so pretty”
“It’s really hot..”
“Woah look at the moon!”
He was getting tired of your endless sentences. He couldn’t understand how you could be such a heavy drinker. Was it a coping skill? He went through a lot and never thought about picking up a bottle. Did you enjoy the feeling? He wouldn’t know, he always swore to never try it. He didn’t want to end up like him.
Pullin' me close, beg me, "Stay over"
“Can you spend the night? P-please?”
He looked down at your drunken state, eyes half lidded, cheeks red; you looked so beautiful. He was always confused on how you were never like his father when drunk, you were always smiling, laughing, dancing, the complete opposite of him.
But I'm over this roller-coaster
He listened to you talk about whatever popped up into your mind, he turned to look at you after you’ve been quiet for some time. You were just looking at him, his lips.
“This- this is a dream right..?”
He looked at you confused, dream? Where did that come from?
“Sure, yeah this is a dream”
He didn’t think anything of it, were you going to tell him an embarrassing memory? A secret no one else was supposed to know? Or- no. You would never..
He looked at you, the moon light making you look almost angelic. He noticed you looking at his lips and then his eyes.
“If this is a dream then i can…”
Time felt like it stopped.
Did you just- kiss him?
You pulled away, whispering an ‘I really like you’ before passing out almost immediately. He just sat there, a million thoughts rushing through his head. What the hell just happened? He looked down at you and noticed a small smile.
Real sweet, but I wish you were sober
#kinich x reader#kinich#malipo kinich#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#kinich fluff#kinich angst
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
the one with the picture
sirius black x reader ! - 2,084 words masterlist bags masterlist A/N: IM BACK IM BACK IM BACK also sorry its so late at night hectic day xoxo i hope you enjoy!! don't forget to drop a little reblog or even just comment guys!! it is so very appreciated and it lets me know y'all want more!
“Ready to become uncles?” You asked, a yawn following your words.
Remus smiled at you, soft and sleepy from the couch facing yours. His cane rested on the arm of the couch, abandoned for the comfort of the shitty hospital seat. Remus nodded wordlessly.
“I reckon I’ll be a terrible uncle,” Peter gruffed as he shook the box of candies into his mouth, emptying it “I have nothing to teach this bloody baby-”
“I don’t think anyone expects you to teach him anything Wormtail-” Sirius pipped up with a laugh from the corner where he paced in circles, head swiveling towards the room James and Lily were in as a nurse hurried out of it.
You ignored the bustling of nurses, you had long learned by now that unless you saw James, it probably didn’t mean anything.
“Why on Merlin’s green earth did they decide to give birth in a muggle hospital-” Peter groaned into his hands, the hours of waiting bearing down on him.
“Lily refused to do a home birth remember? St Mungo’s doesn't exactly do the whole birth thing- ” Remus muttered from the small beige sofa he had curled up in, long legs spilling from the edge of the cushions. You wondered if he was comfortable, but his eyes were closed and he had barely moved in the past two hours so you assumed on some level he probably was. Well, between his cardigan and long pants, he was at least doing better than you. You could feel your skin start erupting in goosebumps from the cold.
It had been a blur really, the furious knocking at your door at the hands of Peter, and haphazardly putting on the first thing you found after basically clawing off the stuffy funeral dress. You didn’t even have enough time to grab a jacket, barely putting on shoes as Remus and Peter swept you off to the muggle hospital. A shiver ran down your spine as you cursed the pajama shorts and stupid t-shirt you had thrown on.
You could feel Sirius’s grey eyes on you, staring straight into the side of your head. But you refused to look, instead burying your face further into your hands. You didn’t notice he had moved until he was right next to you-
“Take it-” Sirius handed you his suit’s jacket, basically shoving it into your arms so you couldn't say no. “You’re going to get sick,” You stared at it, fingers softly squeezing the soft material. He sat next to you.
The small, beige couch you had chosen to sit on was much like the one you had when you were freshly moved in. It lived in your home for a measly two weeks before Euphemia decreed that no child of hers would have such a stiff abomination in her watch. It was hard and restricting. The two of you might as well have been sitting on a wooden bench. But neither of you dared to move, so you sat, silently, both wishing Euphemia could save you from the clutches of the rigid couch.
Sirius thought of the sofa. And when you first moved in. Together and bright-eyed, he had been so in love with you then. He reckons he still was. But now he knew there was no hope of you loving him back.
He cursed the couch silently.
“Put it on,” he sighed as he leaned back, his white button-up shifting as he threw his arm over the backrest. “Don’t be stubborn-”
You huffed as you put it on, “thanks…”
“Don’t mention it,” you leaned back too, the back of your neck close to his arm, almost touching but quite. “Did you bring my camera?” you nodded, but he didn't answer back.
You couldn’t stand the distance between you, a thick jelly of silence that was anything but peaceful. You dreaded going home, you dreaded having to face that your best friend, the boy you so dearly loved was upset with you.
Especially over something so petty. What did he care that you had a job? Your own life? Something to do that wasn’t shared with him? It was rather selfish of him, wasn’t it? You could almost hear your father spew that sentence from the darkest pits of your mind.
You stared at the small bag in Sirius’s hand. You didn’t know why you hadn’t taken notice of it before. He clutched the small velvet bag tightly. Did it have an extension charm? You wondered if it was his things then, had he carried that to the funeral? You thought you would’ve noticed. Had he been planning on staying at James’s? Had he cleared his things at some point without you noticing?
You rubbed circles into the palm of your hand and chewed at your lip worryingly.
If your father knew he’d call you stupid. Stupid for not looking for an apartment to move out, stupid for not being the first to leave, irresponsible, too trusting, so stupid.
You decided you maybe didn’t want to know if he was indeed planning to leave.
“Hey-” he shifted uncomfortably “do you think we can talk about... you know, everything”
“Sirius I don’t know if it's the time-” You refused to even take a peek at him, even though you knew he was staring right at you now.
“Well, Merlin knows how much longer we’re going to be here-” he was right, you had all been here for ages waiting for the baby to come “so yeah it might be the time,”
You sighed, finally turning to look at him. His stupid shiny grey eyes, and his stupid porcelain skin. His stupid stupid frowning lip. He’d deny he was sporting one if you called him out on it.
He had always been a pouty one.
You were mad. At least you wanted to be, but when you looked at him, in all his disheveled glory, the hair he had run his hand through a thousand times, the white button-up with the top buttons undone and that had been unconsciously untucked from his slacks. You just couldn’t be genuinely mad.
So you softened, finally moving to face him. Your knee knocked against his, his warmth transferring from his leg onto your skin.
“I’m sorry, for being so petty earlier- it was unfair and-” Sirius sighed, staring at your hand on your lap. His fingers twitched with the need to hold yours, to feel your no doubt freezing fingers between his warm ones.
He thought of your first week of living together again.
He grabbed your hand. You stared at the bag in his other hand again.
Like if you stared at it hard enough it would tell you its contents. But your thoughts drifted as your soft fingers were enveloped in his. Yet, you didn’t say anything, you didn’t dare. You squeezed his hand and he finally looked up, back from whatever thought he had briefly gotten lost in.
“I’m really sorry about the past few weeks-”
“I’m sorry too,”
“I just wish you could trust me enough to let me take care of you- there’s no one else in the world I’d rather spend my days with…” You swallowed thickly as he spoke “I love you-”
“My baby’s here!” James burst through a door down the hallway, cheering at the top of his lungs without caring about the nurse shushing him. “He’s here and he’s beautiful come on you lot- come on!”
Sirius quickly scrambled to his feet, the other two boys following in the chaos of unsticking themselves from their respective sofas. You tried to ignore it, the sting in your heart. You loved him too of course. But did he love you the way you loved him?
There simply wasn't any time for that right now.
Sirius didn’t let go of your hand; he simply pulled, pulled until you came up with him. His hand grabbed tightly onto yours and as you ran down the hall, straight for the door to Lily’s room.
He never once let go of you.
The room was lowly lit, and Lily looked exhausted, but a smile graced her features nonetheless. Sirius tossed the small velvet bag to James with his free hand. The worry of it left your head as quickly as it had come.
Sirius dragged you by your hand all the way up to the bed, his face turning in wonder as he looked at the small baby in Lily’s arms.
“He’s so small” Peter called out from the foot of the bed,
“He’s so bloody pink-” Sirius glanced at James’s darker skin, a beaming smile nevertheless decorating his face. “Do you reckon he’ll stay like that? Or did he get the redhead’s genes?”
“Oi is that the first thing you have to say about your godson?” James couldn't help but laugh
“My godson?” Sirius stared blankly at James, briefly flickering between Lily’s equally beaming smile and the baby’s little pink face.
“I meant to ask but-” James smiled sheepishly as Lily glared,
“Merlin he’s my godson”
“Do you want to hold him?” Lily whispered as Sirius’s face broke into a smile as well,
“Of course, I want to hold my bloody godson Evans- he’s my godson”
Remus chuckled as he patted James on the back. You couldn’t help but wrap your hand around the camera that hung from your wrist.
You snapped a picture.
You knew what Sirius would write on the back of it later.
My godson. July 31, 1980
Just simple, and small, in his fancy, loopy cursive and black ink. But monumental in itself. He had done it. He had a family, he had always had one but now he was properly part of it. He was not just a stray taken in, but he now had a part in it. He’d love that baby until his body gave out.
He knew it, you knew it, James and Lily knew it. From the second he was born, this baby would be the most loved baby on the planet.
“I can’t believe he’s mine-”
“You don’t get to take him home mate”
“Hush Prongs- I’m going to be his favorite I know it” Sirius smiled, a playful smirk exchanged between friends. James couldn’t help but quip back
“Right after Uncle Moony-”
“Ah that’s for sure,” Remus laughed
“I meant his favorite parent but I reckon Wormtail will be the preferred uncle, with all the candy pouring from his pockets the kid is gonna love him no doubt-” You all couldn’t help but laugh-
“Do you want to hold him too?” Lily asked, her gaze shifting onto your face. “I reckon the godmother also deserves to hold baby Harry-”
“Are you serious?
“Obviously-”
“Lily are you being serious-”
“Yes! Black hand her the baby- god-” Sirius chuckled as he passed the small bundle into your arms, placing the camera at the foot of the bed. He was heavier than you expected, and the tears gathered in your eyes as you looked at his little face. Harry was small and definitely pink. He was a quiet little thing, undisturbed by the exchange of hands he was going through. Sirius leaned his chin on top of your shoulder, his cheek borderline pressed against yours.
“Isn’t he the ugliest most precious thing you’ve ever seen?”
“Oi!”
“He’s so ugly it's cute-” His words tickled your ear
“I don’t think babies are supposed to be all that cute straight after birth Sirius-”
“I know love,”
“Alright, picture time idiots-” Remus said, leaning on his cane as he grabbed the camera with his free hand. James sitting on the side of Lily’s bed as you and Sirius also approached, baby Harry still in your arms.
“I look like shit-” You huffed as you sat on the bed with Lily
“I do too”
“Yeah, but you have a reason to Lils” Lily laughed. Sirius’s hand never left your back.
“Well- he won’t remember anyway-”
“The picture will-”
“Say godparents!” Sirius had basically wrapped himself to your side, his face pressed against yours, his arm around your waist as he leaned down for the picture.
The flash made your eyes sting, a wide smile on your face.
It was fitting, the disheveled state of the lot of you, even in the picture the nurse would take for you all later. A family sewed together like a mismatched quilt.
Sirius smiled all night.
“Seriously though why is he so pink? Is this some sort of condition? Bloody baby doesn’t look anything like Prongs-”
“-Yet” James beamed.
My family, July 31, 1980
taglist ; @thatlittlered @giuli-in-earth @notsolong-pause @niceonejames7 @caspiankingofnarnia @ilovejamespottersomuch @bmyva1entine @lanadelreykt @froggiedragon @stanzie
LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED U OR IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED (i was gone for like a month and some change so i may have not been able to properly keep up with the tag list but i did my best)
#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#the marauders era#marauders#the marauders#marauders era#padfoot#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black series#sirius o black#sirius#sirius black x reader#sirius black drabble#sirius black angst#sirius black#jily#sirius x you#sirius x reader#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#padfoot x you#padfoot x reader
180 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gladiator Headcanons! (1/?)
How the Characters would act if you: Had A Cold!
Character x GN! Reader
Warnings: s3x implied
Characters Featured: Maximus, Lucilla, Commodus, Acacius, Caracalla, Geta, Lucius, Macrinus (edited: I never actually wrote anything for him but I did now)
A/N: First Tumblr post in a while, and I'm actually writing things too! This is the first time I've written elaborate headcanons, so please forgive if they seem a little off. I apologize for any historical/character innacuracies, and I hope to get better!! xoxo -mqrrstarr
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Maximus would immediately notice something is off. You kept complaining about a headache that didn’t seem to stop, and your temperature was high.
“Darling, I don’t think you should fight today…”
You could only cough in response, and the guards wouldn’t let you rest. As the day’s challenge was fighting in pairs, he rapidly volunteered to fight with you. Maximus protected you from the other gladiators, and killed them as fast as you could sneeze. By the end of the day, Maximus gave you his blanket and other amenities, ushering you to a more comfier cell. (He had placed a bet with another gladiator.)
“There darling, rest up nice and easy.”
I can also see Maximus getting the other gladiators to create a soup/stew sort of mixture. Not good. But he’s very fatherly, if you can get that?
- - - - - - - -
Lucilla knows everything. After taking care of Lucius as a child, she can rapidly tell when you’re not feeling well.
“Sweetie? Do you feel alright?”
She’d do the mom thing, put her hand on your forehead and try to figure out what was wrong with you. Your head was practically boiling, so she’d get her servants to make tea, lay you in her triclinium and keep you company.
“The servants will prove useful sweetie. You’re a strong warrior, so keep hanging on.”
She’d hum a lullaby, read poetry (the same she’d read to Lucius) and tell stories until you fell asleep.
- - - - - - - -
Commodus was rarely comforted growing up, so he knew how to handle sickness easily. Growing up semi-independent, he knew homemade tricks and tips to feel better.
“Y/N, are you not feeling well? Just get some herbs and drink an elixir. You’ll be fine.”
He realizes that he sounds a bit harsh, and reminds himself that he never wants to treat you how he was treated; with solitude and no gratitude. Commodus gets you all the snacks and food you want, and even hugs you for as long as you want.
When you question him after it’s been a whole afternoon of him on your chest, he simply says,
“Y/N, do not question the Emperor. I wish to lay with you, and I do not fear sickness. The Gods can protect one of their own.”
He keeps hugging you and falls asleep, and the next day you’re both coughing and sneezing.
- - - - - - - -
Acacius has been through so many battles and massacres, yet he’s never truly encountered a cold. The soldiers that cough, are usually dead. Coughing up their own blood, that is. He really doesn’t know how to help you properly, but he’ll try his best.
“Angel, can you tell me what’s wrong? I’m not really sure what to do. Should I get a doctor? Are you feeling a certain way?”
and as he says this, Acacius would use his hands to caress yours, and treat you even more like a princess/prince. He’d lay you in his own bed, and give you massages until you’d feel better. He’d also do a little more if you’d want. Iykyk. You’d fall asleep quickly, and you’d wake up to Acacius either next to you, or on a chair by the bedside and he’d be all sprawled out. His soldier senses would wake him up though.
“Angel? Angel? You’re all right now, that’s wonderful. My lovely Venus, you’re all healed.”
And his words, he would seal with a forehead kiss. GOD HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I NEED PEDRO PASCAL
- - - - - - - -
Caracalla had his own sickness, the one of syphilis. His wild mentality usually was what kept him going, and the love of ruling over Rome. Yet the Emperor cared for his significant other, and refused to let anyone else; even his closest servants touch you.
“My Wife/Husband, the most holiest of them all, I shall take care of you. Please tell me what your most vivid desires are? Allow me to assist you.”
He’s such a sweetheart, and he’d definitely tell you so many stories of him and Geta in their childhood, Roman mythology, and anything to keep you entertained. As he also has mommy and daddy issues, he also do a Commodus-esque move and lay on your chest and probably fall asleep first haha. When the both of you awake, he'd hear your stomach rumble.
“You’re hungry? Well then I shall feed you. Anything for you my love.”
He’d keep you filled with food and him to help your weak state. (CARACALLA COME HOME THE KIDS AND I MISS YOU)
- - - - - - - -
Geta was always stressed. Getting much more to do as Emperor, as Caracalla had his own “duties” to fulfill. When you started coughing and sneezing as you strolled in the palace garden, he’d send the servants away to prepare a room where you could quarantine. As much as he loved you, he’d refuse to get sick. (Rome needs a healthy representation.) So you’d be alone the first few days with the occasional knock on the door. When you seemed less sick than before, he’d spend all the time with you.
“My love? I’m here for you. The Gods have finally allotted time for our get together. It will be only the finest in Rome for the night; us.”
He’d definitely turn the situation into a fun (fucking) night and then the days after that would be a cycle of laying together, fine dining meals, and caressing. (your bodies, of course.) When he has to return to his Emperor duties, he’ll leave with a long romantic and passionate kiss, one that made your entire body warm.
“Won’t be long. I’ll be back in the night.”
(if you couldn't tell i love the idea of geta as needy all the time)
- - - - - - - -
Lucius knew what it was like to feel sick and tired constantly, so he took care of you. Like a shepherd tending to his favorite sheep. Both of you grand warriors and gladiators, so there was no time to feel bad. He reassured you he could fight without you, and vowed to come back every time.
“Dearest, I promise to return safely. I couldn’t leave my soul with you, it has to be me truly here always. I vow on our love to fight for freedom and the peace of Rome. I will also fight for you.”
You trusted Lucius, (WHO WOULDN’T WITH THOSE BLUE EYES) and he is a man of his word. Day after day, you slowly healed and was able to rejoin Lucius and the others again.
“See? I knew you’d heal. The Gods give power to those who are great. And you are great.”
You fought as usual, but he’d still protect you a little more to ensure you were actually okay.
- - - - - - - -
Macrinus would see you and get together some gladiators in your presence, hoping they would entertain you and help you ignore the pain.
“Sickness is nothing but temporary Y/N. You can and have the power to move on.”
You’d take his advice and eventually keep doing your work as his assistant, and he’d make sure you were well taken care of.
“Y/N? A true warrior does not dawdle. Good job keeping up with your tasks.”
Surprisingly, you were able to keep up with work and healed faster than expected. (THERE I WROTE FOR MACRINUS)
#gladiator 2#gladiator ii#pedro pascal#paul mescal#fred hechinger#joseph quinn#connie nielsen#denzel washington#macrinus#emperor caracalla#caracalla x reader#emperor geta#geta x reader#marcus acacius#general acacius#acacius x reader#lucilla#lucilla x reader#lucius verus#gladiator x reader#lucius x reader#gladiator movie#headcanons#maximus decimus meridius#maximus x reader
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
203.
Callum and Rayla get married just after they turn twenty-one.
Honestly, Ezran's surprised they waited so long. Callum's been of marrying age since all the things that went down with Aaravos, and they know it isn't over, they know he'll be back, and if it were Ezran, he'd want to make the most of it of the time they have. The only reason they managed last time was because of the Archdragons, and now there are none left but Zym. There's no guarantee they'll be as lucky when he returns.
The knowledge hangs over all of them, a never-lifting cloud of uncertainty, a promise that this peace won't last.
He tries to tell himself that it doesn't matter. The only thing that should tonight is Callum and Rayla and they are happy and in love. Ez tries to bask in it, in the glow of the candles as the evening sun sets, in the music and the laughter as they dance across floor, but the thought is always there, always present, a clock that ticks and ticks and ticks that he can't unhear.
"You look troubled, Your Majesty."
Ez glances up. Aanya is there, a wine glass in hand, her smile soft but understanding.
He chuckles awkwardly. "Who me? I'm never troubled."
"You're a terrible liar, Ez," says Aanya drily, but she chuckles too and raises her glass. "I can leave you be if you like. You just looked lonely over here and my conversation partner was stolen away." She nods at the floor and Ez bites back a laugh when he spots Opeli waltzing with Soren, of all people.
"No," he says, smiling into his own glass. "Stay. I like having you around. It's just... This all feels short-lived, y'know? I know we like to think we won against Aaravos but we all know we just stalled him. He'll be back in a few years, and what then? What are we gonna do?"
Aanya snorts ruefully and takes a sip from her glass. "I don't know," she admits quietly. "His return affects all of us, and all this work..." She sighs. "I'm scared too," she says after a moment. "I think you'd be foolish not to be. But that doesn't mean we can't let ourselves be happy now. Look at your brother. Look at how happy he is to be in love. Do you think he's not scared as well?" She points a finger at the crowd of dancers and Ez spots them: Callum and Rayla tucked against each other, their smiles soft and full of joy.
Ezran sighs, wishing he knew how to enjoy this the way they are. Wishing he knew how to forget. But then Aanya touches his hand and his breath rushes out, her gentleness a comfort against the shadows hanging over them all.
"What are you drinking?" she asks after a moment.
"What? Oh." He flushes. "Just water. I didn't think... I'm not old enough to drink what everyone else is."
Aanya snorts at him, and Ez blinks and peers into her glass.
He gasps. "You're not either."
"I'm a queen," she says shrugging. "Who's going to stop me? Come on. Let's get you something a bit more fun."
Ez stutters a little. Then he laughs. "You're a terrible influence, Your Majesty."
"Only on some days," chuckles Aanya. "Just because we're monarchs, doesn't mean we can't enjoy yourselves, even if it's just for tonight."
She tugs him away and Ez laughs as he lets her, the shadow growing smaller in his mind for the first time in weeks.
Just one night. He can allow himself that.
#im not here i just have creative needs#s7 spoilers#ezraanya#rayllum#sorpeli#not me cramming it into everything at every opportunity#tdp ezran#tdp aanya#in anticipation
81 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Weeping Monk x Fem!Reader : Forged Of Fire Chapter 24
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Story Summary: Raised under the tiranny of your own family, and forced to steal to earn your keep, you struggle to survive. Born from a Fey mother, and a Manblood father who wanted only sons, you are forced to hide your Fey side. When you are ordered to steal from Father Carden by your half-brother, Cassian, your life spirals out of control and you find yourself at the mercy of the Weeping Monk. The life you knew changes drastically when Cassian betrays you in the cruelest of ways. A trade is made, a promise is broken, and a debt must be paid.
Chapter Title: The Baker And The Monk.
Notes: Looking back, I'm surprised how big this story got. Wasn't my intention lol.
Warnings: Angst. Hurt. Trauma bonding. Intrafamily violence. Depression. Self-harm. Suicidal thoughts. Violence. Torture. Gore. Pining. Trauma. Self-Flagellation. Manipulation. Strong Language. Blood. Misogyny. PTSD. Spicy and smut parts. Slight redemption arc. Lima/Stockholm syndrom-ish. Childhood trauma.
Other warnings: Jealousy. Forced Marriage. Forbidden Love. Romance. Slow-burn. Found Familly-ish. Comfort. Fluff. !SMUT and SPICE!
Word count of this fic: +250K
Chapter: 24/47
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The others were still asleep in the morning when you had gone downstairs in the inn to drink some soup and enjoy a peaceful quiet moment alone before having to face the Monk again. Where to go from here? What with Percival, did he still have parents or was the boy on his own? There were a lot of things to think about and it was hard to come to a solid decision or plan. Your peaceful moment alone was interrupted when a man approached the table you were sitting at.
“I noticed you are sitting alone, care for some company to talk to?” He seemed rather friendly.
You were in doubt. “I fear I will not be very talkative.”
He did not give up just yet. “I’m quite the opposite, if you wish to offer a listening ear I might entertain you?”
It was starting to intrigue you. “What would you speak of?”
The man was an open book. “My successes and failures as a baker.”
“Fine.” You decided. “Take a seat. Start with the failures.”
He chuckled and took the chair opposite of you. This baker, whom was named Charles, was a friendly fella that loved to chat with anyone who would listen. Hearing how the life of another was so different compared to yours was refreshing. There was no talk of paladins or the war. It was just a baker speaking of his occupation with an enthusiasm not many still had. For just a moment, you forgot about your own situation and let yourself be carried into the story of another. That lasted until you saw the man look at something behind you, the Monk had came down the stairs and his attire was drawing attention. His attention however was solely on you, and how quickly you were to get to your feet and hurry over to him.
“Your surcoat!” you quietly scolded. “Do you want everyone to know we are hiding in this inn?!”
As you pulled at his arm to lead him back up the stairs, the innkeeper caught your eye and beckoned you over. With a small heart you went over to her.
She was drying off a tankard. “I was under the impression that you didn’t want anyone to notice he was here.”
It was a correct assumption. “You’re right, I’ll talk to him.”
“He’ll bring trouble in those clothes.” She nodded in his direction.
The Monk was watching the conversation, still waiting for you by the stairs. You were aware it was pulling attention to him. “It’s not our intention to-”
She put the linen towel down. “Follow me through the kitchen. I may have something in my quarters, he looks the size of my late husband.”
That was an offer you did not reject, you made eye-contact with the Monk and tilted your head to call him over. He understood the silent request and crossed the large room to where you were waiting.
“The innkeeper may have some less holy clothes for you.” you told him.
Before he could react to the jest, the innkeeper spoke up.
“The name is ‘Amelia’.” She proceeded to lead you through the kitchen of the inn, another door was opened and led into her large quarters. Amelia went to the large wardrobe and opened it’s doors. “Pick out a couple of clothes. Come back to the inn when you’re done.”
You thanked her as she walked past, she murmured something about how her late husband wouldn’t need them anymore. Her generosity was surprising, perhaps she had not always been as fortunate as she was now. The Monk had not set one foot in the direction of the wardrobe.
“Go on. See if you can find something in there for you.” you encouraged.
Slowly he walked to the wardrobe, and tentatively touched a shirt. “It was not my intention to cause you trouble. I had not considered that my clothes would be so noticed here.”
You strolled around the room somewhat impatiently. “A monk in an inn will always draw attention.”
He hummed in agreement. “I had not even noticed.”
That was strange to hear considering how perceptive he could be. “That isn’t like you, often you were the first to notice something out of the ordinary.”
The truth escaped him when he picked up a light grey shirt that interested him. “When I woke and saw that you were no longer in the room with us, my only concern was finding you.” The weight of his confession hit a second later, he almost looked in your direction but stopped himself just in time. A black leather jerkin caught his eye next and he took it from under the stack of clothes on top of it.
“You thought I had run off again.” you stated what was so obvious now.
He swallowed hard and shook some dust from the jerkin. “Yes.”
“I would.” You crossed your arms over your chest, finally daring to face him. “But you did not arrive here alone, there is a child up in that room who needs someone to look after him. Where are his parents?”
The Monk told you what the boy had mentioned to him. “They’re gone.”
It wrangled at your heart to hear it. “What now?”
Not even he seemed to know what to do, it wasn’t like he had experience with raising and looking after children, because even though Percival acted mature for his age he was still just a boy under that hardened character.
He walked towards the bed in the room and put down his choice of clothing, then began to take off his cloak. “He picked up a sword to fight the Trinity Guard, to save me. I will do all that is in my power to ensure he will be safe.”
“How?” It slipped out.
His hands slowed down on their task, his voice got quieter. “I had hoped to not be the only one watching over Percival’s well-being. He could use someone gentle of heart.”
It clicked right away what he was suggesting. “Using a child as leverage to keep me with you?” You scoffed and turned to head towards the door.
He caught you by the arm to stop you. “What must I do for you to forgive me?”
You pulled yourself free from his hold. “Stop trying to stop me every time I want to get away from you, that would be a good start! If you let me be free, I might be more inclined to seek out your company.”
It was something he would need to learn, to let what he was so protective over run free in this world full of dangers he had hoped to shield you from.
His hand moved along your arm until it could take hold of your hand. “It does not have it’s roots in trying to have control over you. I-…” A long pause fell. “I felt the loss of you for a day and it was worse than any punishment forced upon me. Hate me, scream at me, harm me… I surrender to your will. But I beg you, stay.”
You were hoping he could not feel how your body was trembling in response to his plea. “Lancelot, I don’t know if I can after what happened.”
He knew why you were so cautious towards him. “I needed no order from Father to wish for your trust. I meant what I said to you once, you are important to me.”
“Because I was the key to achieving Father Carden’s praise and love for you.” It came out bitter.
“No.”
“No?”
He stepped away. It wasn’t until he continued to dress down that you noticed how much his hands were shaking. “Your presence brings me solace.”
You crossed your arms again, hugging yourself for some comfort. “I hope this is not some elaborate plan to regain my trust and take me back to the paladins.”
He almost looked over his shoulder to you. “Do you think so low of me?”
Your eyes turned cold. “Why do you think that is?”
He swallowed his tongue.
You sighed. “But I trust Percival to be truthful.”
Not him… of course not.
You hated how you couldn’t help but look when he bared his torso and let the ruined clothes drop to the floor. “Your wounds look better than they did last night.”
It was as if he had already forgotten them when he looked down at his healing injuries. “I owe it to your kindness. I doubt you had ointment at hand to use.”
So he knew you must have went out and searched for herbs to make the ointment. It told him you still must have felt a form of attachment towards him. “You’re lucky I know how to make one.”
He slipped the shirt on and inspected its fit. “Indeed.”
To distract yourself, you strolled around the room a little. “Just so you know, I will be referring to you by your actual name in this place. It is best we do not draw attention to ourselves. I hope others here did not figure out already that you are a monk, it would starts rumors and rumors can spread to the paladins and lead them here.”
He had not a single objection to that. “That is alright.”
Suddenly he winced, a pained sound escaped him when he had tried to put the jerkin on.
You approached him right away. “Let me help.”
Again, he had not a single objection when you began to close the leather belts of the jerkin. When you gave a stronger tug on one of them, a chuckle fell out of him. “Is this an attempt to murder me?”
You rolled your eyes at the jest. “Don’t be so dramatic.”
The smile remained on his lips. He almost seemed to enjoy the slightly rougher handling.
“What happens now? Will Father Carden not wish for you to return?” you asked.
He was not sure what to expect. “I do not know. But returning will not be possible, news will have spread of my heritage by now.”
You finished closing the last belt and took a small step back. “And if they were to want you back…?”
He shook his head. “With broken faith? And after what I did? The only reason they would want me back is to kill me.” His eyes locked on your face. “Besides that reason, I know that if I were to return to them you would never forgive me.”
It was a correct assumption. “You’re right. I wouldn’t.”
He gave a nod. “It goes without saying that we should stay out of the sights of paladins. And I will try to see if I can find us a place that will be safer than here.”
Easier said than done. “Won’t be simple. We have not much more than horses and the weapons you carry.”
“We have coin.” He said oh so matter-of-factually, as if you knew what he was speaking of.
“What?” you blurted out.
He was confused for a second. “I-… I always have a pouch of coin with me as I travel. One never knows when it is needed.” Upon seeing your expression change, he asked, “Were you concerned there was none to survive on?”
Him having coin did not mean it would help you too. “Well, it’s your coin. Not mine.”
A frown creased his forehead. Realization hit. “Do you truly think that I would not share what I have with you? What is mine, is yours. You are my wife.”
You took a step away and handed him back his cloak. “Our marriage is nothing but an arrangement that has benefited everyone but myself.”
He held the cloak in his hand, feeling frozen in time and place. “Then it is time I prove what benefits this arrangement will provide for you.”
It had you mildly intrigued, but you didn’t dare to show it. “Put your cloak back on. I hope Percival is still upstairs in the room.”
He did as asked. “He was still asleep when I came to find you.”
You headed for the door to the kitchen, him speaking your name made you stop. He came closer again, stopping right in front of your nose. He intended to take hold of your hand but you moved it back a little and it made him abandon the idea.
He spoke in a quiet manner, “If it would put your mind at rest, I will go and fetch the coin from Goliath’s saddlebag and put it in your possession?”
You blinked. “Maybe you should fetch that pouch from the saddlebag before someone else does?”
His expression changed instantly, as if he had not even thought about the possibility of someone stealing it. “I-… One moment.”
Lancelot walked out of the room, through the kitchen and the inn, to outside. After everything, it was not strange for it to be forgotten or overlooked. It was also somewhat amusing to see him hurry out of the inn because of it. You on the other hand went back up the stairs up to your room after thanking Amelia and asking her for two bowls of broth. When you went inside, you found Percival starting to wake up. The scent of the broth was enough to wake him up fully.
“Good morning.” You handed him a bowl.
Percival mumbled the same in reply and went towards the bed. You cleared your throat to get his attention and he saw you point at the table. With a small sigh, he took place at the table to eat his broth. Just as he sat down, Lancelot entered the room and he went straight over to you. A pouch was put into your hand before you could even think to protest it.
Percival eyed you curiously. “What’s that?”
He told the boy the truth, “Coin.”
Percival’s eyes fell on the pouch again, slightly widened and very interested.
Lancelot noticed it right away. “She has a satchel to carry it in.”
The idea he fed was clearly aimed at you, but you were still a bit taken aback by the weight of the pouch that he had put into your hand. Never had Aldith or Cassian let you carry this much coin on you, they were quick to take it if they knew you had some savings. And for it to just be put into your hands now like it was nothing…
Even the boy had noticed the strange familiarity between you and him. “Are you friends?”
Your attention snapped to Percival, who was looking between you and Lancelot like he was trying to figure it out. Lancelot did not answer, he was looking at you to see what you would say. The last thing you wanted to do was alarm the boy by telling him that the friendship between you and Lancelot had come to a sour end not long ago, Percival barely knew the two of you and it would make more uncomfortable questions arise.
“We are.” you said, and noticed how relieved Lancelot looked.
“How?” Percival looked at Lancelot. “You killed the Fey, then how come you’re friends with her?”
Again he looked at you for an answer, but this time you gave him a look back that let him know that this was his answer to give. Lancelot struggled to explain it. “Father made an exception for her.”
The boy fired another question, “Why?”
He kept looking at you for help in this. “Because she is Ash Folk, as I am.”
“He only let Ash Folk live?” Percival frowned.
“The broth is getting cold. Eat Percival.” You turned to Lancelot. “The other bowl is yours.”
Lancelot was quick to ask, “Have you eaten?”
You gave a nod. “I had soup before you came down to the inn.”
Only then did he take the offer of the broth and took place opposite of Percival. You stashed the pouch of coins into your satchel.
You sat down on the bed for a moment, then let yourself fall back onto the mattress to look up at the ceiling. “You could use some more of that medicine I have given you, Lancelot. Charles told me that the market in this village is available for wares here everyday.”
His spoon stilled midway to his mouth. “ ‘Charles’?”
“The baker I was talking to before you came down the stairs.” you informed.
He continued to eat. “You wish to visit this market then?”
Your eyes closed. “I think it is necessary, that medicine will dull the pain for now, but when it wears off…”
“It would indeed be wise to be prepared.” He agreed to the idea. “Shall we go after this meal?”
Percival gave a ‘yes’ with his mouth stuffed full, earning a scolding look from the Ash Man.
“That’s fine.” you stretched your arms behind your head, enjoying the soft bed. Humming contentedly. A slight cold chill crept over the skin of your waist where it was exposed by your clothes that had moved up a little, it was not bothersome.
“Don’t you like the broth?” Percival suddenly asked.
You turned your head to look at the table and saw how Lancelot turned his head towards the boy. Percival was looking at him curiously, and perhaps hopeful that he would get the other bowl of broth for himself. Lancelot cleared his throat, and took a spoonful of the broth in his mouth in response to that. You smiled at the hint of disappointment in Percival’s expression and made a mental note to make certain the boy would have a proper set of meals every day as long as you could provide him with such.
~~~♡~~~♡~~~♤~~~♡~~~♡~~~
The walk to the market was rather odd, you had to keep a focused eye on Percival who showed a tendency to wander off alone. Lancelot did not seem all too comfortable among the busy crowd, he was constantly looking around himself.
“Try to be calm.” you told him. “You’ll hurt your neck if you keep turning it so much.”
He picked up on the jesting tone. “How can you be so calm?”
You stopped at a stall with small curiosities. “I’ve spend days living among the enemy. It’s nothing new.”
It was a small lie. Being among a crowd was causing you distress but you did not want to draw attention, so you pretended all was well.
Lancelot noticed Percival had taken an interest in a stall a little further away and caught the boy by the vest before he could disappear in the crowd. “Remain in my sight.”
“It’s not my fault if your eyes are bad.” Percival bluntly said.
He took on a more firmer tone. “Stay.”
Percival rolled his eyes and came to stand a little closer to you, looking down at all the small bits and trinkets on the stall. Visiting a market was something you had not done in quite some time and it was the first time you weren’t doing it alone.
“I can see a stall further up ahead that is selling medicine.” Lancelot informed you.
He leaded the way to the stall, a friendly old lady was selling some basic necessities for those who dabbled in medicine. There was a certain set of herbs that you needed to make more of that ointment you had made but the seller had no stock of it. Another trip into the forest for them would be warranted. Fortunately she did have a few vials of medicine for when Lancelot’s fever and pain would return. When it was time to pay, for the first time you found out just how much there was actually in the pouch of coins. The small gasp from you made the others look.
Lancelot came closer, noticing your startled reaction to the contents of the pouch, by doing so he blocked the view others could have on it. “May I?”
Was he truly asking if he could use his own coin to pay for the medicine? It was such a ludicrous thing. “Of course.”
He took two small coins out and handed them to the seller whilst putting the pouch back into the safety of your satchel, then put the vials into it as well. Your attention was pulled away from him when Percival lightly tugged at your sleeve.
“Can we get a sweetroll?” The boy asked so very carefully.
Out of reflex you looked at Lancelot for an answer, before reminding yourself that he had said that the coin was yours just as much as it was his. “I believe we can?”
A sweetroll, after how brave the child had been to step into the Trinity Guard fight with him? It was the very least he could give in return.
Lancelot noted the doubt and put your mind at ease. “Yes.” He relied on his nose to find what the boy was asking for. “Over there.”
For you it was still hard to distinct all the scents, especially in a place so filled with all sorts of kinds.
Lancelot gave Percival an encouraging nudge against the back once at the stall that sold the sweetrolls. “They are fresh.” Then he looked at you with a knowing look. “Can you tell?”
You shook your head. “No.”
“No?” he asked curiously.
There was no ill intent behind his question, you could tell. This was just him being curious how well your sense of smell was now.
Percival pointed at a sweetroll, one that looked a little larger than the others of course. “I want that one.”
Lancelot hoped to improve Percival’s manners and corrected his way of asking for something. " ‘May I have that one?’ "
Percival did not pick up on what was being gently taught to him. “I saw it first.”
You turned your head, covering your mouth to stifle a laugh.
“I meant-” Lancelot sighed, but he did not want to make this more confusing. He would speak to the boy about this later. “Alright.”
Percival became far more cheery when he could eat his sweetroll on the way back to the inn. On your way there, the path got more crowded with people, and after having been alone so often the crowd felt overwhelming. Seeing a threat coming felt impossible like this. People were almost walking against or into you constantly, the many voices flooded your ears, you began to lose sight on where you were and where you were going. Your heart was beating too fast, there was not enough air getting into your lungs. What on earth was happening…
“Are you alright?” Percival suddenly asked.
No. No, you were not. “I…”
Just before someone else could walk into you, Lancelot placed himself close to you, using his form as a barrier against the crowd. “What is wrong? You look unwell.”
It felt embarrassing to say it. “There’s too many people.”
Lancelot looked around him for a moment and spotted a smaller and less crowded path. “We’ll take that path instead. Come.”
You barely registered that he had placed a hand on your back to guide you along. The second you were out of the crowd, you leaned against a wall to recover.
Percival looked so very worried. “Are you sick?”
“No. I’m not used to being around so many people so closely anymore.” You hoped he wouldn’t ask why that was. “I can’t even see if there’s paladins around.”
Lancelot spoke. “Do not worry. I will notice them.”
He saw the look in your eyes change, it twisted a dagger into his gut. You did not trust that he would warn you if he saw paladins…
The boy touched your arm to comfort you. “It’s alright.”
No one expected for Percival to offer you the last bit of the sweetroll, it instantly made you feel a bit better.
“No, thank you.” you refused the sweet offer. “Did that sweetroll make you so sweet, or were you always like this?”
Percival’s face flushed a little, especially when he saw the slight grin on Lancelot’s face who saw it happen.
Lancelot came closer, supporting you by the arm to see if you were stable enough to walk. “Are you certain you do not wish for something to eat or drink?”
You pried his fingers loose from your arm. “I’ll be alright. Let’s get back to the inn before we run into paladins.”
The Ash Man kept a sharp eye on you whilst the three of you walked back to the inn. Percival and him picked out the lesser crowded paths and at some point you ended up on a narrow cobblestone street. Houses were build left and right in a long line and at the end of that street was a blacksmith working at his forge.
Lancelot came to a halt. “Do you mind stopping here for a moment?”
Of course he would be curious to see what sort of weapons this village had to offer. “Go ahead.”
He gave a grateful tilt of the head and approached the blacksmith, you and Percival followed suit.
“Good day.” The blacksmith gave a greeting nod and halted his work, wiping the sweat from his forehead.
“Good day.” Lancelot greeted just as polite. “Do you have wares for sale?”
“I do.” The blacksmith pointed at the house beside the forge. “My daughter keeps charge of the shop. Feel welcome.”
Whilst walking the short distance to the shop, you discreetly handed Lancelot the pouch. “In case you need it.”
He tucked it under his sword belt, in those few seconds Percival had already walked into the shop and reminded you both that this child would walk right through fire if there was something he wanted on the other side. Lancelot followed him inside immediately and grabbed hold on the back of the boy’s jacket. One look at the boy and Percival knew that Lancelot was serious about staying in sight.
A woman who looked your age was cleaning one of the many swords inside the store, she halted her task right away when she saw Lancelot. “Hello, is there something you seek? We have many weapons a man such as yourself would love to have.”
You noticed how it took her a little too long to even notice you were in the store too, not that she seemed to care, her eyes were glued to Lancelot from the second he had stepped inside. It irked you, a feeling you suppressed, this woman had done you no wrong.
“A sword.” he answered her.
She gestured for him to follow and leaded him to a wall with swords on display. “See something you like?”
Oh, it could not be more obvious that she was not talking about the swords then. Even Percival noted an undertone in her voice and looked up at her questioningly. The Ash Man said nothing, his gaze waved over the wall of swords and then he picked one off of the wall. He created some distance and spun the sword in his hand a few times.
“No.” he said, dissatisfied. The sword was placed back and another was put to the test, and another… and another…
You were watching the picky twit, starting to feel embarrassed for how he turned down sword after sword. “What exactly are you looking for?”
He smiled at the slightly annoyed tone. “Balance.”
“Balance?” Percival parroted. “It’s a sword. You just have to hit someone with it.”
He inspected the crossguard of the sword whilst explaining it to the boy. “A sword must have a good balance to control it well. It must be strong, not just the blade but the pommel and crossguard as well. A blade alone will not offer much aid in a sword fight without a strong pommel.”
The blacksmith’s daughter approached him now that he was just looking at the details of the pommel. “Spoken as a true swordsman. You are in need of a new sword then?”
She placed her hand on his lower arm, he looked at her hand right away. The sight of it bothered you, it shouldn’t have, not after all that had happened.
“No.” He finally read her intentions from her face. “It is for her.”
You saw him gesture your way and stared back at him in surprise. A sword, for you? Truly?
“Oh… I see… of course.” she stammered and stepped back.
When he beckoned for you to come closer, you became very aware of the sets of eyes on you. It felt a little awkward to approach him.
Upon seeing the reluctance, he approached you himself. He stood at your side and placed the sword into your hands, with your state from earlier in mind he behaved as gentle as he knew he could be. “See? Perfectly balanced steel. The right length for you to wield, a strong crossguard that can be used as a weapon in itself.”
The enthusiasm with which he spoke was infectious, if someone knew what sort of sword was good it had to be him. And with the way he was touching your arm and hands, you struggled to fully focus on the details of the sword he was explaining about.
He stood half against you. “What do you think? Do you like it?”
“Yes.” It flopped out, as if air decided to flee your lungs before the rest of your body could.
He looked at the shopkeeper. “We’ll take the sword.”
“Very well.” She sounded a little disappointed that he wasn’t interested in the other matters that she had wanted to offer.
He made an observation. “She needs a belt and sheath for it.”
“Of course.” She went to a hook on the wall that held multiple sorts of belts and helped you pick one out, then she attached the sheath to it.
Lancelot approved of the ensemble and was seemingly wondering if there could be more added to the belt that would be useful. “A small pouch for it?”
That sure sounded handy to store small things in. “I’d love that.”
With a polite gesture of his hand, he told the shopkeeper to add it to the ensemble. Then there you stood, with a proper weapon belt and a sword at your hip, the joy it brought was refreshing.
“Will that be all?” The shopkeeper asked.
Percival piped up, “I want a knife.”
“No.” Lancelot denied that request.
The boy fired back. “Mine was stolen! By the people you lived with.”
The way the child glared at him and gave him a warning look… It was a blessing that he had not referred to them as paladins.
Lancelot looked at you for advice. Was it proper to give the young boy a knife?
You mistook the look he gave. “If the sword is too costly for Percival to get a knife, I will manage without a sword.”
He sighed and looked towards the shopkeeper. “Do you have something appropriate for one of his age to use?”
“My ‘age’ ?” Percival glared at him. “What’s that got to do with it?”
You snorted a laugh, curious how Lancelot was going to talk himself out of this one. And apparently he considered it wise to not answer Percival’s bait for a battle. Thankfully the shopkeeper sensed the mood of the boy shifting in the wrong direction and quickly handed a knife to Lancelot.
He inspected the knife before giving it to Percival. “Good?”
The boy got very cheery instantly again, and with a wide grin he nodded up to him. The sword and knife were paid for and the shopkeeper bid you all a good evening. Indeed evening had arrived over the land, there were far less people on the streets now. With a sword that you could rest your hand on, you felt more at ease. Had this been Lancelot’s intention, for you to feel less threatened by the crowd? It worked.
~~~♡~~~♡~~~♤~~~♡~~~♡~~~
Before entering the inn, the three of you stopped by the horses. They were indeed being fed and taken care of, the innkeeper was one of the better ones out there it seemed.
“I miss Bear.” you said quietly whilst brushing the coat of the horse, that you had stolen from the paladins, with some straw. Lancelot was beside you, tending to Goliath’s coat.
Percival had heard it too. “Who’s ‘Bear’?”
“My own horse.” you told him. “This is the one I stole from the paladins. He’s sweet too, but he’s not Bear.”
The boy pouted a bit. “Where is Bear?”
You sighed. “Still at the paladin camp, I think.”
“He will be alright.” Lancelot reassured. “A good horse is always valuable, they will treat him well.”
You hoped he was right about that. “I hope so.”
After tending to the horses, you headed into the inn. The scent of warm potatoes and vegetables hanged inside the place, it was a warm welcome to your nostrils.
“I’m hungry.” Percival said the second you walked into the inn.
“I will ask the innkeeper for meals. Do we eat in the room?” you asked them.
“Yes.” Lancelot was quick to reply. The visit to the market had been enough risks for the day.
He did not have the heart to remind the boy that he had eaten a sweetroll not long ago, considering one of the ways to win the war against the Fey had been to burn their mills to cause famine amongst them.
As you walked towards the bar, he took Percival up to the room. Amelia was already looking at you, awaiting the interaction whilst she brushed a stray lock of her curly black hair behind her ear.
“That is a fine looking sword.” She nodded down at the sword resting at your hip. “Went to the market then?”
The wish for small talk was shared. “Yes. I needed more medicine for my friend.”
Her eyes narrowed for a blink. “That man you are with is your ‘friend’?”
Friend… it was the only way you could describe him that wouldn’t draw attention.
You worried what her reaction meant. “Yes…”
“I thought he was your lover.” She shrugged her shoulders. “And the boy?”
Rumors could be born so easily… at least Amelia was not afraid to ask for the truth. “Percival’s parents died, he only has us now.”
She hummed and filled some plates with the stew she had prepared for those at the inn. Her voice was just loud enough for you to hear. “Not many know what the Weeping Monk looks like, the people speak of him as if he is a ghost. Those who have not seen his face, or heard the stories, will not recognize him. But I have heard the stories. So tell me, should I be concerned?”
Your hands got clammy. She knew… she knew… “He is not a ghost, nor a monster. He will do you no harm.”
At least you hoped that was true, and that this was not some elaborate plan of his to get your trust back and return you to Father Carden.
She stared you down for a second, then gave a nod and placed the plates in front of your nose. “Be careful. Someone like him must have dangerous enemies, do not find yourself in the midst of it.”
If only she knew that you were already standing in the midst of it all. You took the plates to carefully carry them up the stairs. “Thank you for the meals.”
“You’re welcome. And once your ‘friend’-” she truly enunciated the word, “-feels better, do ask him if he could be so kind to move some of the lumber from behind the inn inside for the fireplace. There is no rush, but I would appreciate the help.”
It was a small favor to ask for in return for the hospitality she had shown. “I will ask. And he is truly just a friend, that is already complicated enough as it is.”
Her voice got a little louder, as if she meant to embarrass you in a playful way, “Perhaps it is complicated because he keeps imagining all the sins he would commit if he were to get you into bed.”
It caused your cheeks to burn. You tried to hush her. “What?! No! Of course not! He’s not like that-”
She arched a brow after you said the last part. “He’s not?”
Doubt was dripping off her tone and her expression, it only got you more flustered. She was such an open personality, unafraid to voice her thoughts and opinions and you found yourself at their mercy.
“He’s not.” you said firmly. Aware that your expression did not match the confidence of your voice.
A cheeky laugh escaped her. “Alright, don’t get so nervous. Who would I be to judge you for seeking some comfort in the arms of a monk?”
You rolled your eyes and turned away from her, carrying the plates in hand to carry them up the stairs. “You should write a book with that kind of imagination, Amelia.”
A laugh rippled through her chest and the sound followed you up the stairs, it wasn’t until you were in the room and had closed the door that you finally stopped hearing it. You placed the plates of stew down on the table. Percival was at the table not a blink of an eye later, Lancelot was more patient in his approach. He did not sit down yet when he saw you ignore the meal to attach your dagger to your new belt as well.
You finally noticed once you were done with the task. “Go on, sit. You don’t have to wait for me, you need your meals to get healthy again.”
“So do you.” he said whilst taking seat beside Percival.
You took the remaining plate of stew to eat on the bed. “How are your wounds? Is that ointment still working?”
“It is wearing off I believe.” He took a bite. “The vials will bring some relief.”
Those vials were good for fever, but you were not sure how well it would work against dirt getting into the wounds. “But you need ointment to protect you from infections, and it helps to quicken the process of healing. I’ll go search for what I need after the meal.”
He shook his head. “Tomorrow is better.”
You frowned. “But-”
He would not hear it. “There is no need to scour the woods for me at night. I will not perish within hours. You should concern yourself over your own health more, have your own bruises even healed yet?”
“ Fine, I’ll go tomorrow.” you agreed to it. “And they’re almost gone.”
“How did you get bruises?” Percival asked with his mouth full.
“Paladins.” You spared the boy of the darker truth, drank the last of the broth that was left of the stew and put the plate down on the bed.
Lancelot scolded the boy for the lack of manners. “Do not talk with a full mouth.”
“Why?” Percival asked with his mouth still full.
“It is not proper.”
“Why?”
Lancelot sighed when the boy kept speaking whilst he chewed. “I can see right into your mouth. It ruins the appetite.”
Percival rolled his eyes and finally swallowed the food down. “Then don’t look.”
Those two conversing was so entertaining to watch. Lancelot trying to help the boy learn some manners, whilst the boy reacted to it as if Lancelot was exaggerating. The patience he had with the child was admirable. You watched their entire interaction, and Percival proved quite talented at trying to change the topic when it was most convenient for him.
An unexpected question of the boy derailed their entire conversation. “That man that talked to you before you fought those masked paladins, why did he ask if I could smell the Fey? Can you smell who is Fey?”
Lancelot had finished his plate not long after Percival had, and confirmed what the boy believed to be true. “Ash Folk have a strong sense of smell. Fey kind gives of a different sort of scent than Manblood.”
The boy looked somewhat confused. “Different how?”
He leaned back into the chair. “Imagine it as a cloak hanging over them at all times, a fresh scent much like young grass. It is different for all Fey, but it always smells similar to what one can find in the woods.”
You had never been able to put the scent into words, but his description made complete sense. “It prickles the nose.”
His attention turned to you. “Yes.”
“But not in a bad way.” you assured Percival. “I can’t pick up on scents as good as he can, but his description fits.”
Lancelot was glad to hear that you experienced it in a similar way. “I can ignore most scents, it would overwhelm my senses too greatly otherwise. But I will always notice the Fey scent.”
“Because you used it to find us?” Percival was starting to piece the puzzle together again.
Lancelot gave a small nod, aware how even the boy must have realized how terrible it was that a Fey had used his abilities against his own kind.
It lead Percival to chase the truth. “Why were you with them? If you’re Fey, why did you fight against us?”
You didn’t want this to end in trouble. “Percival-”
“It’s alright.” Lancelot said to you. “He has a right to know.”
You rose from the bed and approached Percival, leaning onto the back of the chair with your arm as Lancelot began his story. He told the boy how he ended up in the hands of Father Carden, what was expected of him and why. Percival had not been so quiet in quite some time, often a look of confusion set in his eyes to which Lancelot explained a little more.
“Do you really think we’re damned?” The boy asked.
Lancelot got quieter. “I do not know what to believe anymore.”
Percival looked down for a second, chewing his lip. “But you won’t hurt the Fey anymore?”
That was at least one thing he was certain of. “No. Not unless it is to defend us from danger.”
To the boy it was an agreeable condition. Percival still had some questions that were a little less hard to answer, mostly about how monks lived and how they prayed. You did notice that Lancelot was careful not to mention how they used the scourge on themselves. The memory of the wounds he had inflicted upon himself the last time he had done so was etched into your mind, you doubted those were not still hurting him even just sitting there.
“Alright.” You grabbed their empty plates. “Whilst you two talk further, I’m taking these downstairs before it attracts flies into the room.”
They barely acknowledged the announcement, Percival was too engulfed in what Lancelot was telling him and Lancelot was too concentrated on not saying something that the boy was too young to hear about. So you headed down to the inn, Amelia was sweeping the floor and gave a grateful nod when she saw you carrying the plates down.
“To lessen some of your workload.” You held the plates up. “Do I put them in the kitchen?”
“Please do. Thank you.” She continued her task of cleaning the inn for the night.
The baker, Charles, was still up and sat at a table alone, you had to walk past him to go to the kitchen. “Care to offer a listening ear again, or perhaps accept one for yourself?”
You walked past him. “My ears always listen. I’ll put these in the kitchen first.”
Once you returned from the kitchen, he was awaiting your presence and leaned over the table to move the other chair so you could sit. Again he told of his life, about how before he became a baker he dreamed of being a bard, and when he offered to play on his lute you had to tell him that those already asleep in the inn upstairs might not appreciate the music at that hour. He was rather sweet, it was nice to listen to him talk. He had some quite amusing stories to tell about how some patrons would empty out a loaf of bread and try to return the shell of it to get their coin back.
Charles leaned a little closer over the table, his hands wrapped around the tankard that was long since emptied. “And you, what sort of stories can you tell me?”
It made you get evasive. “I’m not that interesting.”
He tsk-ed. “Nonsense. I see stories in those beautiful eyes.”
“‘Beautiful eyes’?” A chuckle escaped you. It had been a while since such flattery had been aimed your way.
“Not used to flattery?” he sounded surprised. “Hard to believe from someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” You had a cheeky grin.
“I enjoy your company and would love to enjoy it for the rest of the night.” Charles made no secret of his intentions, especially when he reached over to place a hand over your own.
A plate was put down on the table between you and Charles, who jolted back in his chair from the loud clattering it made. You reacted the same way, your heartbeat spiked. It was not Amelia who had put the plate down on the table, no, Lancelot had brought down your empty plate that you had forgotten upstairs in the room.
“I’m sorry, who are you?” Charles asked rightfully irritated.
"Her husband.”
Taglist:
@ourlazydetectivekitten @the-great-adventures-of-me @linkpk88 @fxrchxldws @elenaoftheturks @slytherlight @beananacake @crystallizedtime @moonlightaura03 @angrygardendeer @have-aheart @5am-cigarette @arcanenature @thewinterskywalker @notyourwildestdream @coloursforyourportrait @koressecretidentity @nike90 @n1ghtlux @rachlovesactors @luckyzipperscissorsbat @morena-doing-stuff @the-fangirl-diaries @gipsydanger17 @heavenly1927 @phantasmalbeiing @labyrinthonmymind @asarcastic-thiamstan @rainyv-skies @stclairesplace @katjusja @isla-bell-blog @beebeerockknot @sahvlren @lancedoncrimsonwings @weird123abc @elizabeth-holland24 @kissingandromeda
Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist of this story. Using this old list from the previous fic.
#weeping monk#weeping monk x reader#cursed netflix#cursed#lancelot x reader#the weeping monk#lancelot#weeping monk x you#cursed lancelot#the weeping monk x reader
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Character + Prompt/Request:
Crowe x GN!Reader, Sol x GN!Reader
Angst and drama. (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
Warnings: cheating(in a sense, since you are with Sol in this moment but end up leaving him for Crowe.)
"I have always loved you."
The room grew deadly silent when Crowe let those words slip out of his mouth in the heat of the moment. Everyone froze in their actions, looking at each other. Then all eyes went to you...As you felt your heart sink and ache at those words, then felt your face heat up.
"...E-everyone?...Can you leave the room for a moment to let Crowe and I talk? Please?"
Everyone nodded to your request and silently left, while one person, one of your bridesmaids gave you a small pat on the shoulder, to comfort you I'm sure. But also, to maybe show pity over such a turn of events on today of all days.
Once everyone was gone, leaving you with Crowe alone in the room. You finally responded.
"Crowe...Don't you think this is too late?" You looked away for a moment, looking into the mirror, seeing yourself dressed in your chosen outfit for this day...A special day. You are to be married to Sol. It was decided even before graduation. That's how fast your love with him grew. Though you couldn't deny, in the end of it all, as much as you loved Sol, and decided to say yes to marrying him...
You still loved Crowe too.
"I thought that too...Until Brittney and the others told me its not too late until you say "I do". So I...God...What am I doing? This is your special big day. I should be here supporting you, wishing you all the best and nothing more. But seeing you like this...Who you're going to spend the rest of your life with...Knowing its not with me...I just..." Crowe frowned deeply, he looked close to crying over this all. He felt too much guilt over his own words now, wished he didn't even come here now.
Yet here he was, before you, letting out a confession that happened in the spur of the intense emotional moment. Now he couldn't even look at you.
"Crowe..." You gently took his face into your hands, making him look at you.
"...Do...do you really mean it? Do you really love me?" You asked, with sincerity as you looked into his eyes, and he looked back, as his gaze softened at your sight.
"I do, always have. From the very beginning." You couldn't help but smile at his words, and he leaned in closer to rest his forehead against yours.
"I love you too, Crowe...I do...
Crowe let out a soft sigh over this, happy to hear those words come from your lips. But also a sigh over what a mess this situation is now for you two.
"But Sol--" You started to add on, though were cut short.
"Leave him." Your eyes widened at his sudden response. He looked at you with seriousness as he took your hands in his.
"W-what?" You felt your face redden at Crowe's sudden brashness.
"You heard me. Let's run away from this place, from him, from everyone. Just you and me, Starlight. I promise, I'll make up for all the times I failed to say I love you sooner. I swear to protect you always, to love, to cherish, to--"
"Whoa whoa calm down, Crowe! You sound like you're proposing to me!"
"...And what if I was? You're not a married person yet...So..."
"Crowe...I'm still with Sol though. I can't just--"
Crowe looked down at your hand, seeing the promise ring still on you ring finger. "...May I then?"
"...I..." You looked at the ring, feeling your heart ache, the thought of Sol crossed your mind. You loved him, but you knew the love would never compare to Crowe...Your love for Crowe outweighed the one for Sol...
So you decided on it, to take the ring off. As if a weight was lifted off your shoulders, a string cut, as you gave your hand to Crowe to slowly take the ring off you. A decision made by the both of you.
"I promise, Starlight. You won't regret this." Crowe's words came out with a love so strong, it could engulf you in any moment you felt. Then the promise was sealed with a kiss, a kiss that one you didn't know you yearned for for so long until this moment.
~💚~
Though in that moment, elsewhere away from where you and Crowe were at. Sol felt a sudden chill run throughout his body, and his expression said it all.
"Sunny? Something wrong? Don't tell me you're getting cold feet now." Hyugo teased as he tried to help his friend get his suit properly on.
"...No...I just...I need to see Y/n." Sol said suddenly, as he started to leave the room.
"Wait hold up! You can't see them yet! Bad luck you know!" Hyugo tried to stop Sol but Sol only glared at him. Which instantly made him let him go. "...Don't say I didn't warn you, Sunny..." Hyugo let out a sigh as he rested his hands on his hips with a shake of his head.
~💚~
"Then its settled?" Crowe said with a bright smile, as he held your hands tighter.
"Yes...but we have to move fast, and hope no one sees..." Crowe cupped your face in his hands, giving you another but quick kiss.
"We'll be fine, Starlight. I promise. Nothing and no one will stop us now or separate us. I swear to you on that." Crowe really felt sure of this, felt sure your future together would be a happy one...That it'll be so easy to runaway and live happily ever after together.
"...Y/n? Pumpkin?" Both your eyes widened to the sound of that voice...His voice...Then looked over to see Sol at the door, at your only exit. Looking at you with widened eyes, a forced smile planted on his face. While his gaze was a mix of madness and anger. "Oh. I didn't know your friend would join us today. Too bad he won't be around for the ceremony. Since his visit will be cut short..."
Then you saw it, in Sol's hands, a knife. Which made your heart skip a beat and drop, as Crowe stood in front of you to shield and protect you...
Sometimes not everyone gets a happy ending however...
#;literature 🖋️#tkatb vn#the kid at the back vn#sol x reader#sol x mc#sol x you#crowe x you#crowe x reader#crowe x mc
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dating Jason Todd (Part Four)
fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)
If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!
Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍♀️)
So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, Arkham Knight lore and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. Reader uses she/her pronouns btw.
Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad), talking about intimacy (not graphic), struggling with eating, topics of grief
Part four: Arkham
Although you told Gar you were going to sleep that didn’t happen. Instead you stayed up picking apart the new note of the Jokers Dick sent you. Rachel texted you about an hour ago letting you know her and Kori got to Gotham safely and she promised to update you. You didn’t know why Dick felt the need to break one of the promises he made to you, but finding out that information was a problem for another day. The problem right now was finding Jason, he was all you could think about. You didn’t know where he was or what he could be going through.
Gotham City Point of View
Jason remembers finding Joker at the abandoned amusement park. He was sure he’d finally get his chance to drag joker to Arkham himself. It seems the exact opposite happened though, Jason was now tied to a chair in Arkham. He tried to move but was quickly ment with an excruciating stabbing pain through his whole body. It seemed to be coming from the barbed wire that kept him tied to the chair. He knew we was in Arkham because he recognized the cell from the times him and Bruce dropped by to ask various criminals various questions. Jason always suspected part of Arkham if not all of it was corrupt and not handling criminals properly. The fact that he was there confirmed his theory. His Robin suit was covered in blood, he assumed it was his own. The smell of the cell told him he was most likely in an abandoned condemned part of the hospital. It was oddly quiet, the only noise being from running rats and dripping of broken pipes.
Regular Point of View
“Y/N!” You felt someone shaking you awake. “Y/N,” Gar says.
“What! What’s happened!” You yelled suddenly not being at all tired.
“They think they decoded the latest note, Dick and Rachel said they called you but I guess you slept through it,” he says.
“Shit!” You say. “The note, what’s it say?”
“The baby bird is kept, where the bats mother wept, soon to only be, is what the Archer really needs, alone and free to be, haunted by eternity,” Rachel says through the phone.
“Obviously the baby bird is Jason and you’re the archer, the general idea is joker is gonna kill Jason to haunt you forever, what we can’t get is the location,” Dick says.
“Well bat is Batman obviously,” you say trying to calm down from being woken up so suddenly.
“Wasn’t Martha Wayne an Arkham?” Gar says.
“Holy shit!” You say. “Dick he’s at Arkham, joker has Jason at Arkham somewhere. Gar you’re a genius.”
“We’re on our way,” Dick says through the phone before he hangs up.
Gotham Point of View
Jason’s whole body hurt. He didn’t even know pain could feel this bad. Sure he’s broken bones, been tortured before, and nearly died, but none of that came close to what he was feeling now.
“So tell me Robin, or should I say Jason Todd,” Joker began to say. “What is it exactly that your little girlfriend sees in you?”
“Fucking excuse me?” Jason says.
“Well you surely know before you she had a thing with the other Robin, the first Robin…the better Robin,” Joker says.
Jason laughs, it causes him immeasurable amounts of pain but he laughs to cover his fear. “Damn clown, have you really seeped that low were you gotta get your entertainment from a fucking rumored young adult love triangle?” Jason says.
“You know,” Joker’s voice was serious it made a chill go up Jason’s spine. “You know replacement Robin, one day that smartass attitude of yours might just be the death of you,” he starts manically laughing again. Jason felt genuine pure fear at the crazy purple suit wearing man standing before him. Joker reached onto the filthy floor and picked up a crowbar.
Regular Point of View
You and Gar were sitting on the couch, wide awake, in silence when your phone rang well into the next morning.
“We haven’t found anything yet,” Dick says. “But we’ve got every cop and Arkham security guard in Gotham looking for him, we’re searching Arkham wing by wing.”
“Okay, can you put Rachel on,” you say.
“Hold up I wanna talk to you-“ he starts to say.
“Dick please put Rachel on,” you say again.
“I will in three fucking seconds but just answer me real quick. I heard you slept through fifteen phone calls. When’s the last time you ate something?”
“You are fucking unbelievable,” you say.
“Just answer the question,” he says.
“Last night,” you say in a condescending tone.
“And how long were you actually asleep for do you think?” He asks in a serious voice ignoring your passive aggressive tone.
“I don’t know…” you say “Like an hour or two,” you say.
“Right, I’ll put Rachel on then go to sleep and have Gar wake up as soon as we call again,” he says.
“Fine,” you say.
“Hey,” Rachel says.
“Hey how’s everything going?” You ask.
“It’s just what Dick said, we’re searching Arkham wing by wing, and Dicks going behind GCPD like a mom remaking a bed,” she says. That took you aback, the fact that Dick was going behind GCPD double checking to make sure each room was clear.
“Okay, thanks Rachel just call back as soon as you guys find something,” you say. You hang up and figure you should take Dick’s advice to try to get some sleep.
“Hey Gar, are you good staying up if I try to get some sleep?” You ask him.
“Yeah sure,” he says.
“Just make sure to wake me up as soon as someone calls,” you say.
“Course,” he says.
Back in Gotham Dick, Kori, Rachel and Barbra crept through every inch of Arkham searching for Jason.
“We missed down this hall,” Dick says to one of the cops.
“Yeah unit nine got that one,” the cop says.
“No I’m checking them all myself, Barbra’s orders,” Dick says.
“Yeah but that wings condemned, it’s simply not safe and-“ the cop is cut off when Dick starts speedily walking towards the hall.
“Sir! Sir! You can’t go down there!” The cop yells. Dick bursts through the door and apart from it being disgusting it looks structurally fine. He reaches for his ear piece and tells Barbra to send everyone over to sweep the wing. They search every cell, every hall, and every room under finally on the floor of one of the cells is a bloody boy beaten to a pulp lying dead wearing a Robin suit. On the floor of the Arkham cell was the corpse of Jason Todd. Dick checked his pulse and exhausted CPR before a cop ripped him from Jason’s body.
“He’s gone, he’s gone” Kori said taking Dick from the cop. Dick was completely out of it. He felt as thought he might throw up that is when he reverted back to the man he was before he became nightwing. He stormed over to Barbra.
“You’ve got dirty cops here,” he said angrily.
“I know, look you need to pull yourself together okay don’t do this here,” she says.
“You know? How would you father fucking feel about you letting his damn police force go to shit!” He yells.
“Hey! You are way fucking out of line, I know Jason’s dead but you need to stay focused, this isn’t over yet. And I know Arkham has gone to hell and so has half my police force but I’m doing the best I can,” Barbra says. Dick is about to say something else when he practically leaps over to Rachel and rips her phone out of her hand.
“The hell are you doing?” He says.
“Dick, we have to call them!” Rachel says.
“Listen Rachel give everyone a second okay,” Kori says.
“No, this is exactly why I’m here so you don’t wait five hours,” she says.
“Fine fine, you’re right but let me make the call I want to tell Gar first,” he says.
“Fine but let me tell Gar,” Rachel says.
Back at the tower Gar gets a call from Dick and the first thing he says is, “is Y/N asleep?”
“Yeah,” Gar says.
“Don’t wake her up yet,” Dick says.
“But she said-“ Gar starts to say before he’s interrupted by Rachel.
“Gar don’t wake her up yet,” Rachel says.
“What’s going on Rach, have you guys found Jason?” Gar asks.
“Yes, we found him.” She says. She hesitates before saying, “Gar, he’s…gone”
“Gone? What do you mean gone? Like disappeared again gone? Gone missing?” Gar says talking quickly.
“No Gar, he’s dead,” she says softly.
“What?” He says with a voice crack.
“We um, we found him in Arkham…it looks like he’s been beaten…he’s been beaten to death,” she says.
“Oh my God,” he says beginning to tear up. “Shit am I the one telling Y/N?” Gar asks.
“No, Dick said he will,” Rachel says.
“I’d really like to just let her sleep honestly,” Dick says.
“She wants to be waken up and told,” Rachel says. It’s not like Dick was scared to break the news he knew it was going to go badly. He just liked the idea of you asleep, peacefully unaware that you’d never see Jason again.
“Wake her up and give her the phone off speaker,” Dick says plainly.
“Y/N?” Gar says softly waking you up.
“What’s happened?” You say quickly snapping out of your sleepy state.
“Um…Dick is on the phone for you,” he says. You take the phone from Gar.
“Y/N,” Dick says softly.
“Have you found him,” you say with anticipation.
“I’m so sorry Y/N” Dick says.
“Sorry! What do you mean you’re sorry?” You say frantically.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise, we found Jason, he’s dead.” Dick says.
Hey, writing jokers dialogue felt awkward so I hope it’s not too cringy💀 Anyways if you liked the fic please like I really appreciate positive feedback cause then I know to continue posting parts. I’d like to keep posting parts to this story I plan on developing the whole redhood story line and then doing some backstory with how the reader met Jason and Dick and joined titans. So yeah any positive feedback would be greatly appreciated even if it’s just liking the fic! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed reading🩷
Also here’s my Masterlist if you haven’t read the other parts.
Masterlist
#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd comfort#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd x reader#jason todd x oc#jason todd angst#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fic#jason todd#redhood x you#redhood x reader#red hood#arkham knight x you#arkham knight x reader#arkham knight#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fanfiction#titans fanfiction#dc titans#titans#dc fanfic#dc fanfiction#dc comics#angst#fluff#hurt/comfort#ongoing
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
SECRETS OF US - V
i love you, im sorry
you were the best but you were the worst
as sick as it sounds, i loved you first
i was a dick, it is what it is
a habit to kick, the age-old curse
masterlist // previous chapter // next chapter
summary: fate was a funny thing, it seemed to be incessantly chasing you in the form of a kiss intent on being your doom
pairings: modern!coriolanus snow x reader
warnings: MDNI! swearing, smut (we are so back), fingering, handjob
You just need to breath, if you can breath you'll be okay.
His knuckle brushes against yours.
Inhale. Exhale.
His thumb traces your bottom lip.
Inhale. Inhale. Exhale.
He breaths you in.
Fuck breathing, and fuck Coriolanus Snow.
You can't stop thinking about him, about the taste of his warm breath, how you wanted to swallow it down like you needed it for air. You didn't even want to know when that had suddenly appeared within you, how you could only focus on him. On the strange comfort you found when your face rested in his hand, how his eyes suddenly softened when they took you in.
You dig deep, you try to remember hating him, you try to hate him, but its so hard to feel those feelings even after reminding yourself of the long burning history written in the stars.
"Flickerman wants you out there." One of the costume designers says to you, and by the looks of it she had been saying it for a while and you simply weren't listening.
"Okay." You nod watching as she smooths down the pretty dress she put you in for the play's rehearsal. "Okay." You flex your fingers, ignoring the sweat in your palms, and walk out of the dressing room. You knew what scene was today, the one he had finally wanted to rehearse again, and you knew you could only run so fast from his lips before fate caught you.
He's standing center stage holding a folded back script, brows furrowed as he reads. He's wearing a white button up and black tie loose around his neck, a costume, a part, you had to remember that. He finally looks up at you, blue eyes dark as they take you in, his normal smug smirk appears, the feel of animosity attempting to come back between you two, "You look hideous."
You glare. You're so pretty when you glare at me.
The blush tinged your cheeks at the remembrance of his husky words.
Flickerman claps his hands, "Alright folks!" He walks across the stage towards you. "Let's get romantic."
Your stomach turns and you were annoyed by his excitement towards your displeasure. You know your face is scrunch in disgust as his elbow nudges you, "Come on he's not that bad." He wasn't but you were regretting not dropping out sooner in order to not deal with this, not deal with your heart pounding with anticipation, and maybe that had been his whole big plan to chase you away all along. "Okay action!" He runs from the stage to take his spot in the fourth row back.
Coriolanus cleared his throat allowing you both a moment to slip into your characters. He's in front of you the next second, hand slipping up to your cheek, "Please," His face seemed pained, "Don't."
"Don't what?" Your forehead creases.
Eyes flicker around your own, "Leave...just yet."
"Give me a reason to stay." You whisper.
He swallows. "I...I..."
Your hand goes to his wrist to slowly pull it from your face, "Even now the truth scares you so."
"The truth isn't the issue." His brows furrow as he stares down at your intwined hands. "It doesn't matter what I feel, what I want, we can never be together. It would be better to let me go, let me let you go."
You drop his hand, "Is that what you want? For me to never think about you?" You take a step back, "To live a lie?" He nods slowly, "Then teach me. Teach me how to not feel this way."
He scoffs. "I wish I knew how. I'm consumed by you, undone by you..." He blinks and you think its because he is adding in dramatic flair but his blue eyes quiver. He forgot his lines, he forgot...He stares at you, through you as if he could see every fractured part. "I burn for you."
That wasn't the line, wasn't his characters words. You're moving before you can think, hands coming to cup along his neck. He's rigid and his brows furrow in anger. You're searching his eyes, his face, and realize he's not angry at you and he didn't forget his lines at all. "Say it." You whispered. "Say it was real." The hatred or whatever weird thing was going on right now, you're not sure. You need him to admit to something, and maybe then you could too.
His hand shoots out to grab your face walls going up behind his eyes as he growls out, "You're a fool."
"Then tell me you hate me."
You're surprised Flickerman hasn't stopped whatever mess this was. Coriolanus opens his mouth, but closes it shortly after.
A breathless laugh leaves you,"You really do want me." You glance around his face, "And you hate it."
"You're just a habit I need to kick."
You barely have time to inhale before he kisses you and suddenly the world seems to cave in on itself in that moment of contact. Time slows, you're lost in it for that strand of connection with him, in soft lips, in fingers tangled in the base of your hair. You were two stars colliding taking the world with it in a single kiss. It burns through your skin, exploding within you like a supernova engulfing everything you've ever known in blue flames. Your mouths are moving, melding together, tongues sliding between teeth, brain reeling with utter nothingness, but him.
"Cut!" The two of you snap apart, faces flushed as you take in a blank expression on Flickerman's face. You open your mouth to apologize, to explain, but his face breaks into a grin. "That was...perfect! I love this direction, did you two come up with this?"
He shakes his head, "Uh...no uh that-!"
"Improv? I love it!" He's beaming. "I'll pencil this all in you two are truly in-tuned with your..." You can't hear him over the ringing in your ears, over the harsh pounding in your chest.
You glance over at Coriolanus who's staring at a wooden plank on the floor completely dissociated from the same reality. Theres a gentle furrow in his brows and you wonder what emotions are causing him to disappear into the back of his mind.
You go through the motions of the rest of rehearsal, not even present as you get undressed to put on your normal clothes. You wanted to get out of your head, wanted to stop thinking about him this way, it was impeding on everything.
The harsh chill breaks everything up as you focus on walking forward down the street tucked deep beneath layers of wool. You tuck into yourself deeper feeling colder and colder the farther from the building you walk. The only thing scorching hot seemed to be your lips, still numb from a kiss you should have never received, a kiss that would always haunt you. You tug the door of the store open relishing in the warmth spreading throughout the rest of your body.
You take your hand out of your pocket, pulling the glove off with it and your phone. You search for your friends' names. You need to call them, divulge your withering soul to them; instead you tuck it back into your pocket. Not yet...not yet. You're not sure how to even begin that conversation with yourself, let alone your friends.
You peruse the racks of clothing trying to lose yourself in retail therapy instead of thinking about Coriolanus's hands running through your hair, the feel of his tongue in your mouth. Your cheeks are heating at the mer thought of it, at the taste of him, at wanting more of it. You chew on your cheek, fingers mindlessly pushing hangers around not entirely all there.
The door's chime goes off and the energy shifts inside of the store. You know it's him, you just know. You could always tell when he entered the room, even before...this. His presence demanded attention, before it had been fierce loathing, but now it seemed to be intrigue...curiosity. You had two options: pretend like nothing ever happened on that stage, or run.
You look up at him as he stands on the other side of the rack. "It's freezing out there." He says so casually; it makes you forget how soft his lips had been against yours.
"Yeah." Your eyes dart to said lips before back at his face.
"What are you looking for?" He motions to your hands still resting on hangers.
You try to shrug. "Nothing really."
He smirked, "Then why are you in the men's section." You suddenly look down at your hands resting on men's dress shirts. You step back not even realizing you had been in the wrong section. His deep chuckle follows you as you step around him, "Hey," His hand softly lands on your arm. "Want to go get a coffee?"
Yes. "I uh..." You close your eyes. You did, you wanted to go and talk to him about what happened, make sure it was nothing, make sure it was something. You're not sure what you're looking for in a conversation, so you choose option two finally. "I have to meet up with Clem in a bit."
He drops his hand, face hardening. "Tell her I said hi."
You smile softly before turning and running from him.
You know it's wrong, but you do it anyways as your fingers run through strands of white blonde hair, as your tongue slips into his mouth, as the whole stage goes up in flames to hide the burning hidden desire sparking from your chest.
You needed to stop, needed to peel yourself off of him before Flickerman, or yourself for that matter realized this was more than just acting.
Because what else would explain the need of him?
It's a disaster, nothing but bad news as you use every chance you can get to kiss him, let him kiss you, let him pull you against his body and connect it all. Rehearsal after rehearsal you're jumping his bones, and maybe he is letting you, as the kisses last longer, as you start to feel swept away in it all. Maybe he's just as weak.
You were right, I am just as loathsome and lonely as you.
Once you finally able to detach yourself from him the true horror started as you would stare at your dark ceiling warding off sleep thinking of him, what this all meant, what had it ever meant, and the worst of all; was this some big ploy to reel you in to then destroy you once and for all. The last one kept you awake long into the night.
But as soon as you're back on stage with him you're lost once more, sucked into a black hole of him, time a forgotten existence as your hands twist into the fabric of his shirt. It felt good, too good to be true, that an enemy had somehow given you a perfect kiss, passion and longing driven from the depth of fire fueled hatred.
He consumed you and for once you ignore every warning thrown your way, even your own, it didn't matter, only this, only him. The very fabric of reality was shifting, changing from this very moment, and you knew, you had known the minute you began walking towards him that day nothing would ever be the same. You forgot to care. You couldn't care, not as his hands slid into your hair, not as his tongue explored your mouth, as his body pressed against yours.
But Flickerman would yell cut and that has you shooting backwards away from him electricity still zapping through your lips as you traced them. You stare at him with heavy breaths taking in his darkened eyes and flushed cheeks knowing you looked just as wild. You needed to say something, anything, but words failed and all you could do was run from him, run from the expression lingering around his face. You knew joy, anger, confusion, sadness even, but you couldn't place the one he would get once you finally separated yourself from him.
Everything comes crashing down on your little slice of delusion when your seated on a prop couch with him. He's too close, the body heat radiating off of both of you, his cologne, a smell you had always gagged at, now smelled too delightful. You know he's going to kiss you, know you've been waiting on baited breath for action to be called, dreaming of him swallowing you whole.
You avoid looking at him as he pulls you closer by the back of your neck. You watch him lick his lips and then your mouth is on his. One hand slips around his neck to pull him closer as his tongue explores your mouth like you weren't being watched by classmates. Because that's how it felt, like you two were committing arson together, watching the world burn around you taking this stupid theater with it.
His hand traces a line down the back of your ear. Your hand trails over his thigh fingertips accidentally moving too high, brushing slightly against his hardening cock.
Your name falls from his lips like a man sent to worship.
He freezes, you freeze.
You pull back looking up at him, watching every strange emotions pass through his blue eyes until it settles back onto a familiar anger. You pull back further, no he wasn't angry, not really.
It was fake.
You let him go and sit up as rehearsal continues on around you. You disappear into the back of your mind as questions and doubts spin around everything you ever knew, and nothing you wanted to know it all.
"To stop feeling this way, to know it doesn't always lead to ruin."
"You're so pretty when you glare at me."
"Burn me until I'm nothing but ashes."
Little seeds scattered across a ruinous timeline that had started long before the bones of this earth, or so it felt. You're spinning out the whole way home avoiding ever looking in his direction as you leave.
You peel at the skin on your nails while you try to distract yourself from everything that had happened. You want to call your friends, spill you roiling guts to them. You wanted to call him, see him, understand him, kiss him.
You opened a bottle of wine instead, turned your phone off, and put on some horrible reality show. What did it all mean? You couldn't seem to find the answer within the depths of your own mind, you couldn't find sense. You winced as the skin gave way, blood bubbling up from the small self-inflicted wound, so you stood up heading for your bathroom to grab a bandaid out from under the sink.
Once wrapped, you head back to stew in anxiety when you stop, eyeing the book still sitting peacefully on your nightstand. You're walking towards it before you can think about it, tracing the title, flicking through pages you had read too many times with thoughts of him. You bought the book the day he has recommended it in class, you figured it was some way to thwart him, embarrass him by proving how stupid the book was, prove you knew more than him. You dragged your bandaged finger along highlighted sentences when the knock sounds down the hall. You know it's him when your heart jumps in your chest, the book now suddenly pressed against it as you go to open the door to him.
Say something.
"Regret giving me your address huh?" He chuckles taking in the sight of you, the book clutched underneath flimsy bandaids and chewed nails.
You're still holding the door open, you could close it, end this tragedy before it even begins. "You do come here a lot."
He coos, "You keep letting me in." His smile falters as he takes a step backwards. "Take a walk with me." He nods down the hallway. You should say no, you should force him to have a conversation with you right here, right now...or never if you wanted. Close the door. You set the book down on your counter, grab your coat, and follow him.
The door closes behind you.
It is silent for the most part as you; white flakes gently floating around you under midnight blue skies. You hear the faded honks, various distant yelling from pedestrians, more useless noise. "Jungle of background chatter." He smiles over at you reminding you of your spilled guts over sacred sand.
"Those poor boats." You tuck your hands deep into your pockets. "Trapped in ice."
He chuckled, "Nah, they sailed away somewhere warm."
You glance up, at the street lights, at the buildings towering overhead. "Some always stay."
"I guess so." He's watching you, you can tell by his voice turned towards you. "If they had a reason to."
You look over at him. "How unfortunate for us, to be stuck in this frozen city while they get flee to warmer waters." You sighed, "I should have went with them." Flee the cold, flee your mind, flee from this man confusing everything you thought you knew.
"There's still time."
You shook your head, "I'm trapped like those poor little boats."
He snorted, "You're not a boat." He cleared his throat looking down at his feet, "Don't stay stagnant."
"I move where he tells me." Your shoulders brush.
He stills, "Then stop listening."
The clouds shift, white light cutting through the clouds and you take in the bright moon. You wanted to tell him you had been, tell him it was the one thing you were horrible at, sob out your story how it pained you to stretch the tether between you and your father, how for some reason you couldn't cut it for foolish selfish insecurities. You watch the snow fall, watch it catch in his hair, on his eyelashes. You wish you knew how to be weak, how to bare your soul to someone who had once been a threat, know that he wouldn't betray your trusted secrets. You wonder if you ever could, and for that reason you find yourself stepping away from him despite the warmth of his presence next to yours.
You shiver. "I am freezing though." You nodded back the way you came, "Can we head back?" You head back around towards your block curling inside your coat more as your breath swirls around you. He holds the door open for you as you hurry inside your building taking the stairs to warm up quicker enjoying the heat blasting through the vents. He's behind you, following you silently up the stairs like a shadow.
You fling your door open hanging your coat back up and blowing into your hands. You scoop up the book again, intent on settling it back on your nightstand when the sound of your door closing isn't heard. You turn back to see him, "Are you going to invite me in?" He's standing at the threshold; reality at a breaking point as his foot teeters along the edge of everything.
"You're not sly Snow."
He watches you as you take a few steps away, "I can keep my hands to myself kitten. I'll be good."
"When have you ever been good." You rolled your eyes.
"Touché."
He crosses the room in one quick stride smashing your lips to his the book clattering to floor beneath you. It's heated and intense and filled with unrestrained feeling. You felt it all like a freight train hitting you as you open your mouth for him to delve inside of. You should have felt weary, embarrassed, strange, but all you felt was want, for him, for this. His hands grab on your hips and he's moving, pushing you until your legs hit the couch and you're falling, falling, falling...
He's there, hands around your body, teeth grazing down your neck as your pulse throbs beneath skin. You're shoving at his shirt, opening it up to run hands down his bare chest, as he pushed yours up until a hand cups your breast. A sigh is breathed onto your collarbone as he kneads his hand into the flesh of you and a few seconds later he sinks his teeth into the bone. He slithers fingers behind you unclasping your bra to let the fabric bunch up around your chest. It should be awkward, but he doesn't care as he drags his mouth over your bare nipple.
You moan as his tongue swirls around the bud and his fingers dig into you harder. Your back arches, his hand toying with the other one, running his fingers around it as you tug on his hair. And too soon, he's pulling back, hair mused from your hands and blue eyes dark and heavy. You'd never seen him look like this, look at you like this; your head spins. Suddenly that unfamiliar expression comes into view with clarity; want, it had been want on his face every moment you were forced to break away.
He unbuttons your pants, but stops you before you can tug them off. "Not like this." Is all he says gently pushing your wrist away.
"How do you want me?" It's whispered and you sound too desperate. You don't care, you were desperate.
He chuckled to himself as his hand disappeared beneath your waistband and long fingers run down wet folds. "Truthfully?" You nod as you chew on your bottom lip. "Tied to my bed where no one can hear you scream for me." He pushed his fingers into you and your head falls back with a curse. "Just me." He's curling his fingers, pushing them in and out of you with delicious precision. You're clawing down his muscled chest, feeling the rub of his palm against your clit sending shockwaves up to your skull. "That feel good?"
"Yes." You groan out tiling your hips to take his hand in deeper. "Let-Let me..." You're fighting with the button of his pants to dig your hand into them stroking a palm down his hard length.
"Fuck." He stutters as your hand slides along him as his hand starts to fuck you harder. You swirling around his cock, twisting your hand at a too awkward angle to run your hand along the whole thing while he pressed down hard at your clit feeling warm starlight burning under your skin.
He leaned down swallowing your breathless moans, shoving his grunts down your throat. It's all spit and teeth and sighs of pleasure until finally his grip bruised you with stuttered movements cum spilling along fingers and down your wrist. "Coryo." You moan, back arching as you orgasm soon after.
It's starry eyed and dismantling how the euphoria washes over you underneath someone you had sworn to destroy. Yet, here you were, pleasure dripping out of you for him. When you come to he's staring down at you, hand still buried in your cunt and for a moment you seemed unwilling to let it all go, to move on from the intense moment. Your brain is too mushy to comprehend any of it, to make sense of how bright his eyes seemed as they stared into yours catching breaths. You take your hand back as he pulls his out of you, and then you roll off the couch to wash your hand. As you close the door you see him put his fingers in his mouth and everything burns through you once more.
You stare at yourself, the glazed eyes, the flushed face, the glow from yielded pleasure. You chew on your cheek as you wash your hands, as you splash cool water across hot skin feeling the lingering touch of him everywhere. It's gone the next second dread replacing warmth as cold water runs down your neck; this had been the plan right? To make you give yourself over to him, give your power over to him through moans and spread legs. He's planned it all, faked softness and genuinity to make you put your guard down so he can slip through the gaps of armor. You dry your face and leave the bathroom to face him with walls high and armor tightly back on. He's still seated on the couch chest still exposed, pants still open at the top while he skims the book. Moonlight pour in over him, he looks like a statue of some long dead god, cut from marble, sculpted from precious stone lounging along your couch. He looks beautiful and you miss when you didn't say that about him.
He looked up at you as you stand there rigid; his shoulders sag.
He closed the book, "Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?" You cocked a brow.
"Like you think you know who I am," You opened your mouth but he continued. "And you hate him." He sighed standing up, "Do you always think the worst of me?"
"I only know that version of you." The cruel enemy you had always kept too close. "What are we doing? What are you doing?" Your eyes narrowed, "Is this all some ploy, some game to entertain a dark place within you?"
He pauses, taking in every feature on your face. "Let me take you out tomorrow night." He stared down at you.
You raised your brow as he avoided your question, "A date?"
"A date." He came closer hand wanting to come up, but he left it at his side, the only indication was the slight twitch in his ring finger. "A proper date." You eyed him suspiciously. "Just you and just me, no more feuding or lying or armor, just us. And then I'll answer your question."
"Just us?" You like the word too much.
He nodded, "Us."
next chapter coming soon!!
#daenysthedreamersblog#coriolanus snow#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus smut#coriolanus x you#coryo x reader#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#coryo smut#coryo snow#president coriolanus snow#the hunger games#smutty fanfiction#fanfic#coriolanus fanfiction#coryo#coriolanus fic
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
CW: Low level sim spice, language - Guide to content warnings
Glenn: I missed you, but I get why you didn't come last weekend
Silver: And be a chew toy for the twins in their own house? There was no way. Thanks for not asking me to
Glenn: I mean... I think they improve on closer acquaintance. Henri was right, a lot of their venom is just figuring out when I'll snap
Silver: You're far too generous
Glenn: You like me generous
Silver: Sometimes. I do enjoy...
Glenn: Go on
The pair laid on the lawn behind Howard's house but within the barrier spells. The night was clear and it gave them a perfect view of the stars.
Silver: Fine. I do like when you're insolent
Glenn: What does insolent mean
Silver: Audaciously rude and disrespectful
Glenn: What does disrespectful mean
Silver: It means- *sighs* You knew what insolent meant didn't you
Glenn: *chuckles* Pretty sure they just use the term brat now. You wouldn't know because you're ancient. A whole 743
Silver: Definitely not that old, but keep trying. I love you by the way
Glenn: You do?
Silver: Is it such a shock?
Glenn: Well no, I love you to. I just figured that was me being quick to feel stuff
Silver: Not that quick, we met five months ago
Glenn: What? It has not been that long
Silver: It has. Or are you being a- brat?
Glenn: No I genuinely just did not notice it had been that long. I mean it doesn't feel that long. But then it also feels like I've known you forever
Silver: That's not very flattering
Glenn: You misunderstand. I just- I feel so comfortable when you're here. It feels natural you know
Silver: Yeah. To me you feel safe
Glenn: Safe? I- really?
Silver: Yes. You're confused?
Glenn: I just... I don't think of myself as very good at protecting. Like me feeling safe makes sense because you could tear the arms off anything that tried to hurt me-
Silver: Obviously
Glenn: But what would I do? Throw flowers?
Silver: Some of those planter pots you have are really heavy
Glenn: True. I just think of my abs more as decorative instead of functional
Silver: I mean you make my soul feel safe
Glenn: Me to. I'm really glad it's dark so you can't see how I'm blushing
Silver: Ah, I'm a werewolf. I can feel the heat from here
Glenn: Cheater
Silver: I'm just using my natural born gifts
Glenn: You do have a lot of them. Oh there, do you see the bunny
Silver: In the stars?
Glenn: No on my chest, YES in the stars
Silver: *sighs* Something tells me werewolves and spellcasters use different constellations
Glenn: That... that is probably true. Why is it like this Silver
Silver: What do you mean
Glenn: Why is there all this separation and hate and division in the world
Silver: I wish I had a good answer, but I don't understand it either
Glenn: Why can't people just get along? Why can't the humans just accept occults? Why can't occults accept other occults?
Silver: Maybe one day they will
Glenn: Do you think that or are you just trying to make me feel better
Silver: I mean, one thing you notice when time passes is that things change. Not just the treelines or the flow of rivers but attitudes can change to
Glenn: I hope so. Except your attitude to me, I hope that doesn't change
Silver: It won't. Now show me where I'm meant to be seeing this bunny in the stars
Glenn smiled and began explaining using stars they both knew. He enjoyed the passionate moments he and Silver shared. The ones where he had trouble thinking and keeping quiet. But moments like these- where there was calm and companionship, they were just as special to him.
Previous ... Next
#sims 4#the sims#simblr#my sims#ts4#active simblr#draft from the past#behind the screen#GWG#GlennSutherland#SilverClawcrestByCawthornTales
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ohhh Gil, after being rescued by Thena 2 days ago, has nightmares wich she learns when she decided to stay for one night because it was storming outside. She has trouble waking him up but then she comforts him and learns about the story behind his claustrophobia.
For the wildfire one please
"No! No, help! Please, someone--anyone!"
Thena jolted awake. She was used to doing so when she was out in the wild, but she was at Gil's. It was storming outside in a decidedly angry way. She had radioed it into the towers and made her way to the cabin so as not to roast her ass with lightning (again).
"No! No!!"
Gil was in his bed, absolutely thrashing. The sheets look like they had taken on the fight with him and lost. He was covered in sweat. And he really sounded truly scared for his life.
He sounded like he had when he got locked in the cellar.
"Please!"
Thena threw herself off the recliner in front of the fire and rushed over to him. His pleas for help really did sound visceral and terrified. She all but slid on her knees to the bedside. "Gil!"
"I can't-!" he was full on screaming, and that was when he wasn't gasping for breath or panting from trying to scream with no air in his lungs. He was clawing at the t-shirt sticking to his skin.
"Gil, wake up!" she barked, shaking him by the chest. Those muscles were heavy, but she knew that from when he had latched onto her, hugging for dear life. She shook harder, digging her nails into his chest. "Gil!"
"Please, please, someone help!" he gasped. He was hyperventilating in his sleep now.
This wasn't good. He would cut off his own air at this rate. Thena shook him more roughly, pressing down on his heart. "Gil, come on! Wake up, just breathe! It's me!"
He flinched as she pressed harder. It wasn't gentle, but she was going to wake him from his nightmare no matter the cost. She winced, "sorry, big fella."
Gil shot up in bed as her palm connected with his cheek. He took deep, gasping breaths, his hand over where she had tried to claw her way through to his heart. "Wh-Wh-Wha-"
"Hey, it's me, just breathe," she whispered, putting her hands on his cheeks and forcing him to look her in the eye. The sky was quite light from the furious storm happening outside, not to mention the occasional lightning bringing a glow to the room every few minutes.
Her thumb traced over his cheek. She did feel bad for having to slap him like that.
"Th-Thena?" Gil gasped, gulping in between breaths. His throat was dry and rough from all his screaming. "What's-?"
She sighed heavily. He really scared her with that episode. She patted his cheek again before reaching for his canteen. "It's okay, just take a second, right?"
He nodded, accepting it from her and gulping the water down greedily. He tipped it up to get the last of it.
"Hey," she frowned, pulling it away from him to prevent him from waterboarding himself. "Not so fast or you'll hurl it up again."
He let her take it from him at least, slumping against the headboard. "Sorry, I must have scared the shit of you."
He sure did. But she settled back as well, sitting on one foot with the other dangling off his bed. "What was that?"
He scratched at his neck uncomfortably. "Never had a nightmare before?"
But she didn't take his little joke lying down, nor did she think he would expect her to. "Gil."
Just his name from her lips made him get the sad puppy eyes on again. The big guy had absolutely no ability to hide his feelings at all. He sagged. "I'm sorry I woke you up like this."
"Gil," she prompted him again, even moving closer. The bed really was a mess. "I've never seen you like that before."
He nodded, accepting that this conversation was happening, no matter what. "I don't get them as often as I used to. It happened probably ten years ago, now."
She furrowed her brows; he knew what scars she had from work--everyone did. But she had no idea he had anything that had sparked his intense claustrophobia.
"I was on search and rescue, and cave duty, as luck would have it," he started slowly, still trying to smile through it and deliver the story lightly. His hands were picking at his blanket pulled over his lap again. "We got everyone out, but when I was checking to make sure we got to the back of it, there was a tremor. The front of it caved in. I wasn't crushed, but it was worse--it took them a week to dig me out."
A week trapped in a cave could drive the best of them insane, no matter what training they had. Thena shivered at the thought.
"They tried to communicate with me. I was able to make small fires if I really needed the warmth. But the dark, the dripping of the water in there, not knowing when - or if - I would get out of there..."
Thena bit her lip, trying to think of what to say. Gil cleared his throat, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes again. Just the story was enough to have him in tears again. And she could see why.
"I was always kind of nervous about enclosed spaces, but since then," he shook his head, "I just can't. That, uh, that's actually why I moved here to the cabin."
That was why he didn't live at the station? She had always assumed it was simply a byproduct of his strength and ability to do both search and rescue and active duty fire fighting.
"I couldn't live at the station anymore," he admitted quietly. "There are so few windows, the rooms are so small and dark-"
"I know," she interjected, rushing to keep him from going on about something that so clearly pained him. She even reached over and put her hand over his in her haste. "It's okay, Gil."
He laughed faintly, sniffling up the last of his tears. "Real cool, huh?--a firefighter who can't be indoors for too long?"
She shook her head. It wasn't nearly the embarrassment he thought it was. The fact that he had come back to it after an event like that was exemplary. Something like that would have most of their own applying for retirement, if not an extended leave of absence. "I was a firefighter who couldn't go into fire."
Gil's jaw bobbed in his hurry to denounce the shit she was talking about herself.
But she smiled, tucking her stray leg up on the bed as well. "The rumours were half true--I did have a hard loss after a search and rescue gone wrong. I lost a family--even the kids."
"Thena-"
She pressed on; if she didn't get it out now, she never would. "I was separated from everyone, trying to read the wind in the middle of a dry lightning storm. I read it wrong and...this whole family just got...swallowed up--right in front of me. I tried to go in and get them but it happened too fast. They were already gone."
She shivered again. It was no wonder she had failed her psych eval after that--she would still fail it today, she was quite sure.
"We've all had losses," he assured her, also touching her hand in solidarity. "They're all hard. No one could blame you for needing time after that."
She shook her head, swiping her tears away before they could fall. If anything, Gil was stronger than her not just for going back to work in a way she couldn't, but for allowing himself the weakness to cry over it. "I tried, but...I chose perimeter duty. I let the rumors run wild because it was easier than explaining the truth--that I didn't know if I could ever go into a live one every again."
Gil reached and, to her horror, she wondered if he would wipe away some tears that had escaped her. But he caught the last of the trail of one, and then pushed her bangs away from falling over her forehead. She made a face. He chuckled, "you're tougher than you think you are."
"I am tough," she countered.
"You are," he agreed, smiling more like himself. "And you're even tougher than that, because you could have walked away completely."
She eyed him. She had never told anyone the complete story of her exile--not even her boys knew the whole story. No one needed to know, as far as she was concerned. "You didn't."
He shrugged, "I did, in a way. But you also stayed--because you had to, right? Because thinking of leaving the fight all together just isn't right to you, is it? Because you wanted to do what you could, even if it was doing daily routes and telling campers to put out fires. Because that still helps."
That sounded like some touchy-feely-bullshit if she ever heard it. But it didn't feel as condescending as it did from her old Chief, or as pitying as it did from her second hand when she had left the unit to him. Because Gil was so genuine with everything he did and said.
"So, we both have our shit," he shrugged. How did this become him cheering her up? "So what?"
She laughed faintly. He had heard her scream herself out of a horrific nightmare or two in their time together. He had never asked, and she had always been thankful for it. Now, she had returned the favour, so that was that.
"We're both tougher than that, right?"
She tilted her head. She had to admit, she didn't mind Gil knowing the truth of her story. He wasn't the type to whisper, and he had been nothing but sweet to her since they met, even when she was just a white wolf passing through his backyard silently. "Right."
Lightning lit the sides of their faces again, drawing their eyes to the window. Before the thunder followed, she frowned. He rubbed his cheek, "you don't pull punches, huh?"
The thunder rattled the window, but she didn't jump from the sound of it. She smiled, "shaking you wasn't doing the trick."
"Thank you."
She blinked, her eyebrows raising in surprise. "For slapping you?"
"For waking me up, no matter what," he clarified with another pat on her shoulder. "I appreciate it. And, y'know, if you want me to return the favour, I will."
She wasn't sure about that. But she nodded, accepting the kindness for what it was. She patted the hand of his on her shoulder. "Can we go back to sleep now?"
"Sure," he sighed heavily, going back to watching the storm. "If you think you can."
He had a point. They were exhausted, but they were also wide awake after all the excitement, and the heart-to-heart. She sighed. "We should try, at least."
"Yeah, guess you're right."
She looked at the big guy again, catching the sad, lonely puppy eye routine. He looked so pitiful sitting in his own bed. She rolled her eyes, so he would know she was being reluctant about it. "We can sit up for a bit--just a little!"
"If you're okay with it." He couldn't have sounded more excited about it.
She glared at him as she crawled over to the inside of the bed, slipping into the spot where she had spent plenty of time (without him also in the bed). "We are not making a habit of this."
"'Course not," he volunteered, just happy to have a little company. He even shimmied closer to the edge of the bed, to allow her more space to be comfortable.
Thena settled down and closed her eyes. Unfortunately, the bed really was quite comfortable, and it was terribly hard to resist letting its plush warmth lull her into sleep again. "Big softie."
"Yeah, that's me," he lamented with a big grin on his face. He also settled in again, propped up with his pillow and keeping his ankles crossed. He looked up at the ceiling. "Thanks, Thena."
"Hm," she tried to make it sound disgruntled (so he wouldn't think they were going to get all cuddly like this again). Her feet just barely brushed his sweatpants as she bent her knees.
"I'm glad you were here."
She was too. She knew those nightmares, that feeling of drowning in your own mind. She wouldn't wish it on anyone, and she had certainly experienced enough of them in the cold, quiet of camping alone.
Gil settled in and closed his eyes, lying on his back and with his upper half propped up in not that comfortable a way. He even had his arms crossed for personal space reasons. But he looked deeply happy.
Thena closed her eyes, resolving not to peek at him anymore. She frowned, listening to the sheets swishing, "my feet are cold."
That was the only reason she was pressing them up against his at the base of the bed, letting him know that she was right there.
"Sure."
#Thenamesh Wildfire AU#thank you so much anon!!!!#I love this au so much it's so dear to my heart#Thena is like Hannah from Those Who Wish Me Dead#she even has bangs kinda#and she's a tough nut to crack#but also Gil is whining is sleep like a puppy and she rushes over#she comforts him and gets him awake#dries his tears#she's never encountered someone like him unafraid to cry and tell her about his worries#Gil doesn't have an ounce of toxic masculinity in him#they don't talk when they wake up in the morning#Gil wakes first and gets out of bed so he doesn't spook her#but he does make coffee for her and tea for him and a big breakfast#she smells nice hot food#and it's Gil's food so it's damn good#and they both accept things#the cuddling was what it was it's fine#Thena accepts the food as his thanks#he takes her acceptance of the meal as her own way of speaking#he doesn't mention that when he woke up she was cuddled right up to him#because he's such a softie#and also thinks it's cute to see the White Wolf all kittenish#but he knows Thena would literally kill him if she knew#it wouldn't even be to keep him from telling anyone#he wouldn't tell but she would have to kill him just so there was no evidence it ever happened#also he gets her super fluffy socks and leaves them in the side pocket of her recliner
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
aghhhh:(
#I wish I had known about bt when atsushi was still around:( like#getting into them so much has been like a source of happiness and comfort this year#but then I feel kind of bad because the reason I found out about them is because someone died#for a while it was just one of those things that’s like yeah#sometimes an artist dies and that’s how you find out about their stuff#and it’s nice for people to continue discovering and loving someone’s art after they’re gone#but I’ve been feeling more sad about that lately#like I’ve never found a band that’s just felt so much like My thing before#there’s plenty of bands and songs I love but#I’ve never really gotten this obsessed or invested in a specific band#so part of me wishes I had discovered them sooner or heard about them under better circumstances#and not cause I happened to be scrolling through tumblr during work and#saw goth blogs I follow posting memorial stuff#it feels kind of spooky and morbid too because I had been#thinking lately I wanted to find some goth bands from japan#if I had actually gotten around to doing the research I probably would have started listening to them#so it was weird timing#and I was showing my dad the climax together tour and he was kind of#lamenting that he had never heard of them when he was younger because he would have gotten so into their music#like. ah if my dad had any exposure to japanese rock when he was younger#I definitely would have grown up listening to a lot of buck-tick#and der zibet too probably#I was watching dz concert videos late last night#and issay was so cute and lively and full of energy#and then I thought about how he died in some accident and I started feeling upset#especially since one of my favorite movie actors died in a pretty horrific freak accident#it’s like I’d rather just not think about what might’ve happened (since there weren’t really public details)#anyway I’m just kind of like. having complicated feelings about all of it#different than sadness and grief I’ve felt over artists in the pass since it was all postmortem that I knew about them
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ohh im obssesed
#uprooted#uprooted naomi novik#solya#marek#my main playlists dedicated to them :]#idk why they cought my attention in 2018 and since that year they have had a special place in my heart. sometimes throughout my day-#i realise im obssesed with them and they're not just some random characters i like. ive dedicated a lot of time on them#i wonder how my interest in them will be when i get older. i certainly know that i will miss them if i stop thinking about them#you could say they have seen me grow. i knew them BEFORE quarantine. they were with me DURING. and AFTER#they have been through so many phases of my life. its so strange.#they changed so much too...except Marek. he still looks the same I imagined him in 2018. solya is definitely different tho#but i do think i have a different more in depth understanding of both characters#even if the words i read in 2018 are still the same now that i look back at the book. they were so many things unsaid but if u looked-#closely you could understand them. solya and marek as individual characters have so much depth...even if its not explicitly said#or maybe its just me reading between the lines too much. i wish i just knew more about them. this is getting so long-#but I got a bit nostalgic. is crazy how i was just a child and somehow even tho solya was just the total opposite of the type of characters-#i like there was something in him. something that made me look at him. and i think thats actually so in character of him#i think that in the book even if someone didnt like him. it was still hard to look away because he stood out from the rest.#there was definitely something about him that attracted people. or else how would have he gotten so far in his schemes?#I may be overanalyzing it. but i love the Falcon so much. and i do like marek a lot as a character. i find him very interesting. i know he-#did bad. terrible. things i like him as a character. not as a person.#i wish i could have seen what was going on in that damaged mind of his...#analyzing his behavior its so entertaining to me. i love making up scenarios where he is at his worst. im not gonna lie#marek suffering and then finding comfort in not comforting things is one of my favorite headcanons.#his obssesion with his mother is also a very important part of his character (ofc) and i love imagine him doing things related to that#thinking about the ways their personalities connect and make them have a very toxic bond keeps me up at night..they made each other worst#and we actually never see that in depth in the book. everything is so subtle but my crazy brain can find the signs in any part#i will stop this rant here. i feel its so long and if i made any spelling mistake i apologise to my future self (probably my self from-#tomorrow) because i know i won't be able to fix the misspelling and that will stress me SO MUCH.#future self please dont stress about it. just be happy. and enjoy thinking about these insane characters
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one!
oh. oh.
#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much#i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the#black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed#who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out#the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go#and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story#colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you#OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but#the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman#the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t#you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken#out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things#they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a#little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits#trade deadline tragedy#and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing#everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there#and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other#(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life#like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think#because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin#who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want#sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be#this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3#OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS#nonny <3
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
🍰
#so...#i think im gonna...#i have a heart locket i havent put any pictures in#i think im gonna#print a picture of his face.. a selfie of his#and then.... i have a picture he sent me#of his dick.... with my name on it :$#i thinkkkk im gonna print those pics and put in my locket#it might be a pathetic thing of me to do for someone who... i have no idea what he feels for me#at the very least i know he doesnt want me to be his gf lol#but i want to bc i love him so much my heart belongs to him even if he doesnt want me rn#maybe i'll fall in love again in the future ... but for now the truth is i belong to him#regardless of his feelings for me#and i'd feel comforted having that necklace#and i do feel creepy since he doesnt know abt it#but i think i cares for me in a way where he'd feel kinda flattered if he knew abt me doing that#i think he cares for me***#i dont think he'd get upset or disgusted or smth#but i mean he'll prob never even know :((((#i wish i could tell him but idk that just feels weird rn#and im only gonna do it to look at it myself and feel comforted#so i think i'll do that
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
×
#just the thought of him not loving me the same way and amount i love him makes me want to slice myself up#ill only stop cutting when i cant feel anything anymore not pain not love just emptiness#just want to be with master but dont want to make him stressed out because im too dependent and reliant on him#why cant i just feel my emotions the right way or a normal amount or at least less strong? why am i like this?#why cant i love like a human and why must that shit be so complicated? why am i so feralminded?#and why cant i feel my loves separately? should i even? or am i not understanding it right? why do i feel everything wrong?#why must i love him like a wild animal loves its lifelong mate? but also like how that animal loves the taste of prey and hungers for it?#like a dog loves its master and feels the unending loyalty and unconditional love overtake remaining wolflike instinct#like a best friend i also wish to do stereotypical romantic and domestic things with and so much more#i want to be bound to him in any way possible marriage and collars and microchips and blood pacts and marking and such#but im so scared he wont want that anymore i want to stop feeling i need to completely stop feeling and worrying but i cant#even when im emotionally numb i still feel that canine love for him even if just a glimmer#i wish i knew what he thinks love is and what hes comfortable with and how he felt and experienced love and if he still loves me like#he did before he came out as aro....im scared to bring up how calling himself aro and me his exception actually hurts and idk if i should#tbh him saying hes aro yet says he loves me feels like when a close friend keeps saying they dont have any friends while youre right there#like my existence makes his identity a lie or a betrayal to him i cant shake the gross feeling that hes forcing himself to stay for my sake#....hell am i even his exception anymore? what did he mean by same amount but not the same? what changed? did anything actually change?#wish i could figure out what love is and how to feel it right..esp dont understand romantic or queerplatonic or anything its all confusing#i want to take on the world with him and stop being an emotional wreck so we can fuck anyone together like we swore to#i just want to live the rest of my life by his side and i want to experience all we can together#picnics and movies and living together and sharing a nest and....idk i just want to be with him forever and hope he still feels the same#it would literally kill me if he ever left or fell out of love i think i would lose whats left of my mind and end up bleeding myself dry#i want us to be together forever and never ever stop being mates but i cant help but be terrified and confused and hurt
3 notes
·
View notes