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Ohhh Gil, after being rescued by Thena 2 days ago, has nightmares wich she learns when she decided to stay for one night because it was storming outside. She has trouble waking him up but then she comforts him and learns about the story behind his claustrophobia.
For the wildfire one please
"No! No, help! Please, someone--anyone!"
Thena jolted awake. She was used to doing so when she was out in the wild, but she was at Gil's. It was storming outside in a decidedly angry way. She had radioed it into the towers and made her way to the cabin so as not to roast her ass with lightning (again).
"No! No!!"
Gil was in his bed, absolutely thrashing. The sheets look like they had taken on the fight with him and lost. He was covered in sweat. And he really sounded truly scared for his life.
He sounded like he had when he got locked in the cellar.
"Please!"
Thena threw herself off the recliner in front of the fire and rushed over to him. His pleas for help really did sound visceral and terrified. She all but slid on her knees to the bedside. "Gil!"
"I can't-!" he was full on screaming, and that was when he wasn't gasping for breath or panting from trying to scream with no air in his lungs. He was clawing at the t-shirt sticking to his skin.
"Gil, wake up!" she barked, shaking him by the chest. Those muscles were heavy, but she knew that from when he had latched onto her, hugging for dear life. She shook harder, digging her nails into his chest. "Gil!"
"Please, please, someone help!" he gasped. He was hyperventilating in his sleep now.
This wasn't good. He would cut off his own air at this rate. Thena shook him more roughly, pressing down on his heart. "Gil, come on! Wake up, just breathe! It's me!"
He flinched as she pressed harder. It wasn't gentle, but she was going to wake him from his nightmare no matter the cost. She winced, "sorry, big fella."
Gil shot up in bed as her palm connected with his cheek. He took deep, gasping breaths, his hand over where she had tried to claw her way through to his heart. "Wh-Wh-Wha-"
"Hey, it's me, just breathe," she whispered, putting her hands on his cheeks and forcing him to look her in the eye. The sky was quite light from the furious storm happening outside, not to mention the occasional lightning bringing a glow to the room every few minutes.
Her thumb traced over his cheek. She did feel bad for having to slap him like that.
"Th-Thena?" Gil gasped, gulping in between breaths. His throat was dry and rough from all his screaming. "What's-?"
She sighed heavily. He really scared her with that episode. She patted his cheek again before reaching for his canteen. "It's okay, just take a second, right?"
He nodded, accepting it from her and gulping the water down greedily. He tipped it up to get the last of it.
"Hey," she frowned, pulling it away from him to prevent him from waterboarding himself. "Not so fast or you'll hurl it up again."
He let her take it from him at least, slumping against the headboard. "Sorry, I must have scared the shit of you."
He sure did. But she settled back as well, sitting on one foot with the other dangling off his bed. "What was that?"
He scratched at his neck uncomfortably. "Never had a nightmare before?"
But she didn't take his little joke lying down, nor did she think he would expect her to. "Gil."
Just his name from her lips made him get the sad puppy eyes on again. The big guy had absolutely no ability to hide his feelings at all. He sagged. "I'm sorry I woke you up like this."
"Gil," she prompted him again, even moving closer. The bed really was a mess. "I've never seen you like that before."
He nodded, accepting that this conversation was happening, no matter what. "I don't get them as often as I used to. It happened probably ten years ago, now."
She furrowed her brows; he knew what scars she had from work--everyone did. But she had no idea he had anything that had sparked his intense claustrophobia.
"I was on search and rescue, and cave duty, as luck would have it," he started slowly, still trying to smile through it and deliver the story lightly. His hands were picking at his blanket pulled over his lap again. "We got everyone out, but when I was checking to make sure we got to the back of it, there was a tremor. The front of it caved in. I wasn't crushed, but it was worse--it took them a week to dig me out."
A week trapped in a cave could drive the best of them insane, no matter what training they had. Thena shivered at the thought.
"They tried to communicate with me. I was able to make small fires if I really needed the warmth. But the dark, the dripping of the water in there, not knowing when - or if - I would get out of there..."
Thena bit her lip, trying to think of what to say. Gil cleared his throat, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes again. Just the story was enough to have him in tears again. And she could see why.
"I was always kind of nervous about enclosed spaces, but since then," he shook his head, "I just can't. That, uh, that's actually why I moved here to the cabin."
That was why he didn't live at the station? She had always assumed it was simply a byproduct of his strength and ability to do both search and rescue and active duty fire fighting.
"I couldn't live at the station anymore," he admitted quietly. "There are so few windows, the rooms are so small and dark-"
"I know," she interjected, rushing to keep him from going on about something that so clearly pained him. She even reached over and put her hand over his in her haste. "It's okay, Gil."
He laughed faintly, sniffling up the last of his tears. "Real cool, huh?--a firefighter who can't be indoors for too long?"
She shook her head. It wasn't nearly the embarrassment he thought it was. The fact that he had come back to it after an event like that was exemplary. Something like that would have most of their own applying for retirement, if not an extended leave of absence. "I was a firefighter who couldn't go into fire."
Gil's jaw bobbed in his hurry to denounce the shit she was talking about herself.
But she smiled, tucking her stray leg up on the bed as well. "The rumours were half true--I did have a hard loss after a search and rescue gone wrong. I lost a family--even the kids."
"Thena-"
She pressed on; if she didn't get it out now, she never would. "I was separated from everyone, trying to read the wind in the middle of a dry lightning storm. I read it wrong and...this whole family just got...swallowed up--right in front of me. I tried to go in and get them but it happened too fast. They were already gone."
She shivered again. It was no wonder she had failed her psych eval after that--she would still fail it today, she was quite sure.
"We've all had losses," he assured her, also touching her hand in solidarity. "They're all hard. No one could blame you for needing time after that."
She shook her head, swiping her tears away before they could fall. If anything, Gil was stronger than her not just for going back to work in a way she couldn't, but for allowing himself the weakness to cry over it. "I tried, but...I chose perimeter duty. I let the rumors run wild because it was easier than explaining the truth--that I didn't know if I could ever go into a live one every again."
Gil reached and, to her horror, she wondered if he would wipe away some tears that had escaped her. But he caught the last of the trail of one, and then pushed her bangs away from falling over her forehead. She made a face. He chuckled, "you're tougher than you think you are."
"I am tough," she countered.
"You are," he agreed, smiling more like himself. "And you're even tougher than that, because you could have walked away completely."
She eyed him. She had never told anyone the complete story of her exile--not even her boys knew the whole story. No one needed to know, as far as she was concerned. "You didn't."
He shrugged, "I did, in a way. But you also stayed--because you had to, right? Because thinking of leaving the fight all together just isn't right to you, is it? Because you wanted to do what you could, even if it was doing daily routes and telling campers to put out fires. Because that still helps."
That sounded like some touchy-feely-bullshit if she ever heard it. But it didn't feel as condescending as it did from her old Chief, or as pitying as it did from her second hand when she had left the unit to him. Because Gil was so genuine with everything he did and said.
"So, we both have our shit," he shrugged. How did this become him cheering her up? "So what?"
She laughed faintly. He had heard her scream herself out of a horrific nightmare or two in their time together. He had never asked, and she had always been thankful for it. Now, she had returned the favour, so that was that.
"We're both tougher than that, right?"
She tilted her head. She had to admit, she didn't mind Gil knowing the truth of her story. He wasn't the type to whisper, and he had been nothing but sweet to her since they met, even when she was just a white wolf passing through his backyard silently. "Right."
Lightning lit the sides of their faces again, drawing their eyes to the window. Before the thunder followed, she frowned. He rubbed his cheek, "you don't pull punches, huh?"
The thunder rattled the window, but she didn't jump from the sound of it. She smiled, "shaking you wasn't doing the trick."
"Thank you."
She blinked, her eyebrows raising in surprise. "For slapping you?"
"For waking me up, no matter what," he clarified with another pat on her shoulder. "I appreciate it. And, y'know, if you want me to return the favour, I will."
She wasn't sure about that. But she nodded, accepting the kindness for what it was. She patted the hand of his on her shoulder. "Can we go back to sleep now?"
"Sure," he sighed heavily, going back to watching the storm. "If you think you can."
He had a point. They were exhausted, but they were also wide awake after all the excitement, and the heart-to-heart. She sighed. "We should try, at least."
"Yeah, guess you're right."
She looked at the big guy again, catching the sad, lonely puppy eye routine. He looked so pitiful sitting in his own bed. She rolled her eyes, so he would know she was being reluctant about it. "We can sit up for a bit--just a little!"
"If you're okay with it." He couldn't have sounded more excited about it.
She glared at him as she crawled over to the inside of the bed, slipping into the spot where she had spent plenty of time (without him also in the bed). "We are not making a habit of this."
"'Course not," he volunteered, just happy to have a little company. He even shimmied closer to the edge of the bed, to allow her more space to be comfortable.
Thena settled down and closed her eyes. Unfortunately, the bed really was quite comfortable, and it was terribly hard to resist letting its plush warmth lull her into sleep again. "Big softie."
"Yeah, that's me," he lamented with a big grin on his face. He also settled in again, propped up with his pillow and keeping his ankles crossed. He looked up at the ceiling. "Thanks, Thena."
"Hm," she tried to make it sound disgruntled (so he wouldn't think they were going to get all cuddly like this again). Her feet just barely brushed his sweatpants as she bent her knees.
"I'm glad you were here."
She was too. She knew those nightmares, that feeling of drowning in your own mind. She wouldn't wish it on anyone, and she had certainly experienced enough of them in the cold, quiet of camping alone.
Gil settled in and closed his eyes, lying on his back and with his upper half propped up in not that comfortable a way. He even had his arms crossed for personal space reasons. But he looked deeply happy.
Thena closed her eyes, resolving not to peek at him anymore. She frowned, listening to the sheets swishing, "my feet are cold."
That was the only reason she was pressing them up against his at the base of the bed, letting him know that she was right there.
"Sure."
#Thenamesh Wildfire AU#thank you so much anon!!!!#I love this au so much it's so dear to my heart#Thena is like Hannah from Those Who Wish Me Dead#she even has bangs kinda#and she's a tough nut to crack#but also Gil is whining is sleep like a puppy and she rushes over#she comforts him and gets him awake#dries his tears#she's never encountered someone like him unafraid to cry and tell her about his worries#Gil doesn't have an ounce of toxic masculinity in him#they don't talk when they wake up in the morning#Gil wakes first and gets out of bed so he doesn't spook her#but he does make coffee for her and tea for him and a big breakfast#she smells nice hot food#and it's Gil's food so it's damn good#and they both accept things#the cuddling was what it was it's fine#Thena accepts the food as his thanks#he takes her acceptance of the meal as her own way of speaking#he doesn't mention that when he woke up she was cuddled right up to him#because he's such a softie#and also thinks it's cute to see the White Wolf all kittenish#but he knows Thena would literally kill him if she knew#it wouldn't even be to keep him from telling anyone#he wouldn't tell but she would have to kill him just so there was no evidence it ever happened#also he gets her super fluffy socks and leaves them in the side pocket of her recliner
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GWUH i love when comments tell me how i might have prolonged certain aspects of my fic but then reassure me it Gets Better to read (very important to meeeee).. thank u to user swirling wind of repetition ur comment made my DAY!!!!! (crying)
UGHHELDEWOSKPENEPEJDPSKEKDKE SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME TO WRITE ALL OF THIS IM SICKKKK IM SO TOUCHED
#egg boils#comments#<- was that my tag#UGHHHHH THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.#I ALSO GOT MORE COMMENTS AFTER THIS AND I. WE FRUCKINB CRODEEEE#FAVE#save#also smth abt the angst is that it was literally the basis of the fic bc i wanted hoshina to be comforting her each time and i know his own#thoughts mustâve been so frustrating to read MY BAD REALLY like what is ur problem girl but also#<- thinking abt it i did make hoshina confess First Verbally which is woah. in its own sense bc all this while he would only initiate to#comfort or help his captainâŠ. but when he doesnât have that excuse of reaching out anymore n sheâs the one who takes care of him instead đ€#i guess that also helps him gain a bit more confidence and see where he truly stands beside her#like yeah flowers r cute and all but the confirmation she wants him and will stay by his side too.. (something she said previously and Then#proceeded to do so when she found him in the dojo) WHICH BTW. she figured out smth was wrong w the text messages but never got the chance to#find out properly bc sheâd always miss the timing. girl whoâs been staying on base recently and KNOWS where hoshina wld go when he canât#sleep but never catches him bc sheâs either too late or he never shows up (choosing to lie awake in bed instead)#ARGHHHHHH MY HSMN#hoshina afraid to take the first step but he does it anyway DOES IT ANYWAY BECSUSE HE WONT LIVE FOREVER AND i think with the raid on#tachikawa base and other significant deaths it gets a lot more Obvious
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I hate how this is all my fault because I am the stupid fool who broke no contact and now look at me! Look at me having to prepare myself for being hurt for god knows how long!
#i hate myself for breaking no contact. im weak and stupid and laughable#i didnt even have a good reason. she called my father when i was outside with him and she was panicked because our dog was dying#so went there with him and i consoled her because she was crying and sad and my father doesnt know how to comfort people#it was a stupid thing to do. it was a childish thing to do. it wasnt even genuine of me.#but she was sad and i dont want people to be sad. i dont want her to be sad no matter how much i hate her.#i knew that my father wouldnt be able to think straight so i suppressed all my emotions to be the calm one and to organise things#and to be the one to comfort my parents. im their child and that is my duty and my role. my purpose in life whether i like it or not.#well#what a stupid mistake. i should have been someone. instead i chose to be no one. i chose to be a tool and now look at me#the tool is complaining that it doesnt have human rights.#i havent slept in several days. i cant. the thought of going there for longer than a day is keeping me awake#every time i lie down i feel my muscles vibrate. my head hurts constantly because i cant stop the thoughts#theyre racing and racing and telling me to get up and run. telling me that were in danger.#theyre constantly telling me to just bolt. to never stop until we are completely alone with nobody to hurt us.#once people are around you can only stand there and take it. you can only say 'I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm sorry. I'll do better.'#i feel in danger all the time. i cant stop the memories i didnt know i could remember. they just keep coming back.#i wish i didnt know that they wont be just memories if i go. i have to go. it is my duty to visit my family for the holidays.#what a funny thing to say considering the right way to pronounce it would be#'it is my duty to be dehumanised; walk on eggshells; and get insulted and physically hurt'#i cant even tell if im more scared of the physical side of things or the dehumanisation or a secret third thing#the closer it gets the more hopeless i feel. i cant enter that house again. i cant see her face again.#her voice her words her insults the pain the way i would do anything for her to find me adequate#and by god i dont even know why because i hate everything she stands for.
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man i'd really like for revallen to encounter the ghost of his father but with his skillset it's just not likely
#revallen lavellan#now nessie on the other hand is a dreamer. she could very easily meet dirennen. but she wouldn't know him from any other elvhen spirit#unless she straight up said 'im revallen's daughter!' and dirennen just latched onto her as kin to protect#revallen would have questions. he would have closure to get. he'd be able to speak to his father as equals#and ask to hear the tales that only the dead can tell#but without nessie's help or even solas' he can't do it purposefully. he would love to. but he can't#it would wreck him tbh. dirennen would say 'you've grown wellâ my son' and revallen would just collapse#the survivors guilt of watching his father die. the guilt of failing his clan. the grief at losing his familyâ his wife. the self loathing.#it would all hit at once and all of a sudden he's right back to being the teenage boy who's scared to face more loss#he covers his face to hide the tears and dirennen pulls him into a comforting embrace. 'know and mourn the pastâ my sonâ' he says#'but look always towards the future.'#if nessie is there she hugs him and it's a little father-daughter bonding moment#if solas is there it's kind of awkward. but he comes up on one side and puts an arm around revallen's shoulders and supports him anyways#half carrying half leading him back to the edge of sleep when dirennen fades#when he's less actively agitated he asks if he's all right. and instead of answering revallen just Vanishes#because dorian woke him up#because something woke dorian up. and when he turned to look at revallen's sleeping face (which he is fond of doing) there were tears#when dorian wiped them away there were more. so he shook revallen awake. 'amatus!' and revallen startled back to consciousness#eyes wide and confused with lingering hurt. another tear falls and dorian wipes it awayâ cupping his cheek. 'you were dreamingâ amatus.'#'are you all right?' and revallen blinks. then sighs deeply and nodsâ closing the distance between him and dorian.#''m ok' he mutters sleepily. 'w's just old ghosts. sorry I woke you.'#etc etc cute sleepy bed shit im running out of tags#i do think dirennen and nessie would have a spirit mentor/acolyte thing going on. he could teach her adahl'era and give her guidance#'let me go ask granddad rq' * conks the fuck out*#i think he'd also be naturally drawn to/protective of her. like as a dreamer yeah but also she's naturally receptive to spirits
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Origin [Logan Howlett]
Summary: Two people, one shared past, and decades apart.
Warnings: fem!reader, angst, fluff, longing, things get bad before they get better! WC: 14k - MASTERLIST
A/N: there are plot points that are inspired by Logan's origin story (thank u marvelwiki), but they are so non-canon compliant its funny so don't call me out tyyy đ
----
Before he was known as Logan, or as Wolverine, he was James.Â
Your James.Â
â
Itâs quiet in the Howlett estate, the kind of stillness that only comes when everyone has long retired for the night. But while the rest of the mansion sleeps, you remain wide awake. Dressed in your nightgown and nestled under the blankets, you glance at the small, brass pocketwatch resting on your bedside table. The hands read 10:22 PM. Any minute now, you think to yourself.Â
Then, like clockwork, you hear itâa faint knock on your door. Three slow, deliberate taps, followed by two quick ones. The secret signal never fails to make you smile. You spring from the bed, feet softly padding across the floor as you hurry to the door. You open it as quietly as possible, your grin widening the moment you see whoâs waiting on the other side.
James.
He stands there, dark tousled hair and that familiar mischievous smile that always manages to light up the dim hallway. Youâve known him your entire life, growing up together under the roof of the Howlett estate. Your parents, both loyal servants to the Howlett family, were fortunate enough to be granted permission raise you alongside their son.
From the moment you could walk, you and James were inseparable, sharing countless adventures in the woods, running across the estateâs gardens, and whispering secrets to one another under moonlit skies.
"About time," you whisper, teasing him with a playful glint in your eyes. "You really know how to keep a lady waiting, donât you?"
A soft snort escapes his lips as he grabs your hand, pulling you gently into the hallway. "My deepest apologies, Mâlady," he replies with mock formality, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement. "I had to... attend to urgent business in the necessary."
You snicker, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "Ah, I see. Was it a fulfilling experience, sir Howlett?"
He glances over his shoulder, rolling his eyes with exaggerated exasperation, though you catch the small smirk tugging at his lips. He doesnât respond, but his silence confirms everything. It was.
The rest of the trip is quiet, the two of you moving stealthily through the darkened corridors, careful not to disturb anyone or draw unwanted attention. After all, your mother would certainly disapprove of such late-night rendezvous. It is improper, she would say.
But what choice did you have? The day offered no time for moments like this. You were busy training to take over as the next chief maid, learning the endless routines of the household, while James spent his time with his family or other highborn friends. It was only after hours, when the mansion finally settled, that the two of you could steal away for these secret meetings.
Finally, you reach the gardens. The crisp night air greets you as you slip away from any prying eyes. Thereâs a familiar sense of peace here, among the fragrant flowers and the towering trees that shield you from the world. James leads you to your usual spot, a stone bench tucked beneath the shadow of the hedges. Wordlessly, he slips off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders before taking a dramatic bow.
"To keep you warm, Mâlady," he says softly.
"Hush, James," you laugh, finding his antics endearing.Â
Youâre grateful, especially as the cool night air nips at your exposed skin. The nightgown, while comfortable, offers little protection against the chill. You pull his jacket tighter around yourself, then pat the empty spot next to you, gesturing to him to sit, to which he does.
âHow was your day?" you prompt.
James sighs, leaning back on the bench, his hand casually resting behind you as he stares up at the sky. "Same old, same old," he starts, a familiar twinge of annoyance creeping into his voice. "You know how it is. Dinners with my parents, listeninâ to old men talk about businesses I'll never care about, trying not to fall asleep while they drone on about investments or land expansions. Itâs all so posh."
You stifle a giggle, nudging him playfully with your elbow. "Posh? You sound like you're living the dream."
He rolls his eyes dramatically. "If by 'dream,' you mean sitting there pretending to care while wonderinâ how quickly I can escape to see you, then yeah, it's an absolute dream," he quips sarcastically.
Sniggering, you bring your hand up to your forehead, acting distressed. "Oh, how tragic. The poor Lord James Howlett, trapped in a world of lavish dinners and fancy wine. Whatever will you do?"
"Mock me all you want, but itâs unbearable," he groans, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I hate it. All the stuffy clothes, the fake smiles, the way everyone acts like they're better than everyone else." He pauses for a moment, then glances sideways at you. "You're the only real thing here."
The sincerity in his words makes your heart flutter, and youâre suddenly grateful for the darkness hiding the faint blush creeping up your cheeks. Looking away, you try to play it off. "Well, if thatâs the case, I guess I should charge you for my company," you tease coyly.
He lets out a huff of amusement, shaking his head. "I'll pay whatever price you want.â
There's a pause as you both sit in comfortable silence. Just then, a soft breeze sweeps through the garden, catching the edges of your nightgown and fanning it up slightly. Before you can even react, he swiftly moves his jacket from your shoulders to your lap, covering your legs. His hand lingers, making sure you're covered before he hastily wraps his arm around your shoulders and pulls you close against him.
The warmth from his body contrasts with the cool air, and you can't help but laugh softly at his sudden behaviour. "Wow, you really are a gentleman, James."
He tenses slightly, his grip on your shoulder loosening as he looks away, clearly flustered. "IâI just didnât want you to get cold," he mumbles, his usual confidence faltering.
You smile at how shy he suddenly seems, leaning your head against his shoulder. "Thank you. Itâs sweet."
For a brief second, he says nothing, but you can feel the way his heartbeat picks up just a little. Then, almost too quietly, he mutters, "Iâd do anythinâ for you."
Your breath catches in your throat, and you tilt your head to look up at him. But you canât respond, because he clears his throat, looking down at you with a small, sheepish smile. "What about you? Any exciting adventures in the life of a future chief maid?"
Grinning, you recognize his attempt to shift the conversation, and decide to let it go for now. "Oh, you know, the usual. A thrilling day of dusting, folding linens, and trying not to spill tea on your motherâs favourite rug."
He chuckles, pulling you a little closer. "Sounds way more exciting than my day."
You hum in acknowledgement, letting the moment linger. Neither of you speak for a bit, just relishing being in each otherâs presence.Â
"So, do tell," you say after a while, breaking the silence, "if you could get away from all the fancy dinners and boring conversations, what would you do?"
He smiles slightly, his gaze still fixed on the star-filled sky. "Iâd leave. Go far away from here, maybe somewhere quiet. Live in the countryside, where no one cares about wealth or titles." His eyes drop to meet yours. "Maybe youâd come with me."
You laugh gently. "And who would take care of your family if we both ran off?"
Shrugging, his expression grows more serious. "They donât need me. They need someone whoâll do what they wantâsomeone to follow in their footsteps. Thatâs never been me."
Thereâs a weight in his words, and you feel a pang of sympathy for him. Youâre about to respond, to tell him you understand more than he realizes, whenâ
BANG.
Your body stiffens instantly, heart beginning to pound in your chest as you straighten up, eyes wide.
"What the hell was that?" James asks sharply. He turns to you, his face mirroring the confusion and unease you're feeling.
Shaking your head, you swallow the lump thatâs forming in your throat. "It sounded like a gunshot."
The two of you stare at each other for a beat, then, right when youâre going to speak again, you hear itâhis motherâs scream. Itâs high-pitched, panicked, and it sends a jolt of fear through you both.
"Help!" she shrieks from inside the mansion. "James, help!"
Without a word, you bolt to your feet, the peaceful night forgotten as you rush back inside. Your heart is racing as your bare feet fly across the grass, nightgown fluttering behind you. James is ahead of you, moving fast, his expression shifting from confusion to pure fear.
As you reach the back entrance, your mind races with possibilities, none of them good. You burst through the door into the hallway, your breathing laboured from the sudden sprint. Something is terribly wrong.
"Mother!" He calls, his voice sharp with panic as he leads the way toward the main staircase. You follow close behind, anxiety coiling tight in your chest.
Once you get to the bottom of the stairs, you hear footstepsâheavy, hurriedâand then you see her. Mrs. Howlett, wide-eyed and pale, comes hurrying down from the upper floor, clutching the banister for support. Her hands are trembling.
"James!" she cries. "Your fatherâheâs been shot!"
The boy beside you freezes, face going white. "What?" he breathes, disbelief etched into every syllable.
"Heâhe was in his study, and IâI heard the gunfire. IâI donât know what happened. I donât know whoâ" Her voice breaks, and tears stream down her face as she struggles to speak. "We need to get help!"
He doesnât waste another second, taking off up the stairs, his long strides making quick work of the distance. You trail after him. How could this happen? Who couldâve done this?
When you reach the second floor, you see the study door slightly ajar, light spilling out into the dark hallway. James' hand wavers over the doorknob for only a moment before pushing the it open wide.
Inside, the scene is worse than you imagined.
There, slumped over his desk, is Mr. Howlett. His once pristine office now looks chaoticâpapers scattered, a window broken, and blood, so much blood. A crimson stain is spreading across his shirt.
"Father," James chokes out, rushing to his side, his hands shaking as he reaches for him.
You stand paralyzed for a moment, the sight rendering you speechless, but then the adrenaline kicks in, and you move further into the room. Your mind is screaming at you to do something, anything, but all you can do is watch as James desperately tries to wake his father, calling his name again and again.
Trying to make sense of the horrific scene, your attention is dragged away by the sound of footsteps shuffling behind you. Thomas Logan, the groundskeeper, stumbles in, his movements clumsy, his face twisted with drunkenness. His bloodshot eyes are manic, and in his trembling hand, heâs clutching a gunâthe same one that must have been used to end Mr. Howlettâs life.
"Thomas!" Mrs. Howlett yelps. "What are you doing?"
James turns sharply, still kneeling beside his fatherâs body, his expression hardening immediately. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Thomas lets out a low, slurred laugh, staggering further into the room. His eyes flick between you, James, and Mrs. Howlett, but his focus remains hazy. "Iâve had enough of this, enough of all of it," he mutters, waving the gun in the air. "Your precious mother thought she could keep the truth from you. But itâs time you knew the truth, boy."
"What truth?" The younger man demands harshly.
Swaying on his feet, he points the gun directly at James, his finger twitching dangerously on the trigger. "Iâm not just the groundskeeper, you idiot," he snarls venomously, "Iâm your damn father."
Itâs as if the room has been put on pause. You feel the air leave your lungs, your mind scrambling to make sense of what you just heard. Glancing at your friend, you see the disbelief wash over his features, his eyes widening with shock, denial.
"No," he whispers, shaking his head, backing away slightly. "You're lying. Youâre drunk."
But the older man just laughs, the sound hollow and bitter. "You think John Howlett was your father? That man never wanted you! He raised you because he had to, not because you were his. Youâre mine, boy. My flesh and blood,â he jerks his head in the direction of Mrs. Howlett. âGo ahead, ask your mama."
You hear Mrs. Howlett begin to blubber in the background at the accusation, but your attention is solely on the boy in front of you.
Betrayal is written all over his face.
His breath quickens, and his hands clench into fists at his sides. You want to reach out to him, concern puling you forward, but then he lets out a screamâa sound so full of pain that you stop in your tracks.
"James!" you cry, but he doesnât seem to hear you. His eyes squeeze shut, and his body convulses, as though something inside him is tearing him apart from the inside out.
The sickening sound of skin breaking fills your ears, and bone claws shoot out from his knuckles. They gleam in the dim light of the room, sharp and lethal. The sight of them is nauseating, but youâre unable to look away as James blinks, gazing down at his hands, dumbfounded.
"Whatâ" he rasps, his chest heaving. "Whatâs happening to me?"
âWhat the hell is this?â Thomas sneers in disgust. He stumbles, reaching for the wall to steady himself. âFigures... Of course my sonâs a freak.â
âYou were always a fuck-up,â he continues in his drunken rage. âUseless, soft... a disappointment from the start. Just like your mother. Look at you now, boy.â
âIâm not your boy,â James snarls through gritted teeth, rage building inside him. His eyes flash dangerously. Itâs as if something inside him has snapped, some deep, instinctual part of him that has been lying dormant, waiting for this very moment.
âYouâre right. Youâre no son of mine. Just a goddamn mistake. Shouldâve left you in the dirt with yourâ"
Before he can finish, a roar rips from Jamesâs throat. So raw, so animalistic, you get goosebumps. His entire body tenses, muscles coiled, and then, with terrifying speed, he lunges.
In an instant, his claws sink deep into Thomasâs chest with a thunk. The force of the blow sends the older man crashing back, disbelief and agony seizing his face as blood sprays across the room, spattering the walls and floor. His body thrashes, his hands weakly grasping at his sonâs wrists, but thereâs no strength left in him.Â
A gurgling gasp bubbles from his throat, and then it's over. He collapses to the ground, lifeless, as James stands over him, claws retreating back into his skin.Â
"James!" Mrs. Howlett screams, her voice piercing. "What have you done?!"
You donât know how to react. You canât process it, canât breathe. All you know is that you need to get out of hereâget James out of here, away from this nightmare before it consumes him. Without thinking, you rush to his side, grabbing his bloodied hand.
"We have to go!" you say urgently.
His eyes dart to you, frantic and unfocused but he doesnât resist as you pull him toward the door. His mother's cries echo behind you, but you canât stop, canât look back.
You runâboth of youâthrough the hallways, out the back door, and into the dark of night. The wind whips around you, stinging your face, but you donât stop. You run until your legs burn, until youâve entered the surrounding forest, and the Howlett estate is nothing but a distant shadow behind you.Â
All the while, Jamesâs hand stays locked in yours.
Branches scratch everywhere, at your arms, your face, and the underbrush tugs at your clothes as if trying to hold you back, but you push on. Only after the first light of dawn begins to creep in, does the exhaustion hit. Bodies aching and bruised, the two of you collapse beside a small stream.Â
Youâre on your back, catching you breath, when you tilt to your head to look over at your friend. Heâs sitting down, with his hands out in front of him, leering at them. He struggles for air, his breaths coming in short, panicked bursts, and his clothes are torn, stained with bloodâhis fatherâs blood, Thomasâ blood.Â
His claws are long retracted, but the scars of where they came out of his skin are there, fresh.Â
"James," you whisper, but he doesnât respond. Slowly, you crawl over to his side, pain flaring with each movement. When you reach him, you sit on your knees, looking up at him, trying to meet his gaze. You repeat his name, more firmly this time.
He finally looks at you, but heâs broken. His lips tremble as he opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a choked, almost inaudible, "What did I do?"
Your heart aches for him. Reaching out, you gently take one of his bloodied hands in yours, and as soon as your skin touches his, he flinches, pulling back slightly. "I killed him." he whispers, more to himself than anything. âIâI didnât mean to, I swear I didnât mean to!"
"Hey, listen to me," you say. "You didnât know. You couldnât have known this would happen."
"I killed him," he repeats. "I killed Thomas. Iâ" He glances down at his hands, at the scars along his knuckles, and his expression crumples completely. âHe was my father.â
You donât know what to say, donât know how to fix this, but you know you have to try, so you wrap your arms around him. At first, he stiffens, but then he collapses to the ground, pulling you down with him. You land on top, your chest pressed against his as the weight of your bodies crashes into the soft earth. He squeezes you like youâre the only thing keeping him grounded, his face buried in your shoulder as his breath comes in short, broken sobs.
"I didnât mean to do it," he repeats, the words muffled against your skin. "Something just changed inside me. What am I? What am I turning into?"
âHush," you whisper, moving one of your hands to brush his hair. "Look at me. Just breathe, okay? Youâre not alone in this. Weâll figure it out together, I promise."
His arms tighten around you, pulling you even closer. Itâs overwhelming, but you donât push him away. Instead, you let him hold you as tightly as he needs, your fingers gently stroking the back of his head, trying to console him in any way you can.
"Iâm a monster," he whimpers. "What if I hurt you, too?"
"You wonât," you affirm, lips brushing against his ear as you whisper. "Youâre not a monster. This⊠this thing that happened, it doesnât change who you are. Youâre still you."
Beneath you, his body shakes, overcome by emotion he holds onto you. Your forehead is pressed to against his, your breath mingling with his while you continue to whisper reassurances, telling him over and over that itâs going to be okay, that heâs not alone.
Minutes pass, maybe longerâyou lose track of time as you lie there together. Gradually, his cries begin to quiet, his breathing slowing as the storm inside him starts to subside. His grip on you loosens slightly, but he doesnât let go fully, still cradling you in his arms.
Shifting, you raise your head to look at him. His eyes are red, his face pale, but heâs calmer. You start to pull yourself off of him, but as you're standing up, he grasps your hand again, and he looks at you with a tired, grateful expression, squeezing it gently as if to say everything he canât put into words yet.
Then, you continue. Hand in hand, you move deeper into the forest. And finally, after a few more hours, you notice something in the distance. Through the trees, there are rooftops, small and clustered together, their chimneys trailing thin lines of smoke into the evening sky.
âA town,â you whisper, the first word youâve spoken in hours.
He follows your gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly as he takes in the sight of the small mining town nestled in the valley.
In it, the peopleâs faces are etched with lines of hard labour and even harder lives, but still, you know youâll be safe there.Â
â
Initially, itâs difficultâthis new life you and James have carved out is a far cry from the comforts of the Howlett estate. The town youâve settled in is rough and unpolished. You both share a modest shack on the outskirts, a place that feels foreign and strange, but over time, it starts to become home.
He finds work in the mines almost immediately. The foreman takes one look at him, his broad shoulders and strong arms, and practically shoves a shovel in his hand without asking any questions. The job is tough, but it suits him.Â
Every evening, he comes back to you covered in soot and dirt, his hands rough and calloused, his face lined with exhaustion. You can see the toll the work takes on him, how his body aches, but thereâs something else tooâa measure of peace that wasnât there before. Itâs as if heâs found a way to silence the chaos inside him, at least for a little while.
Itâs not long before everyone in town begins to call him Logan, a name he offers with indifference when asked.
A new identity.Â
Logan is a man who works hard, who keeps to himself, who doesnât ask for anything more than a paycheck at the end of the week.Â
Logan is a man who doesnât need anyone, who can survive on his own.Â
To you, heâs still James.Â
In the quiet moments, when itâs just the two of you, he lets down the walls, lets you see through the façade. And when you whisper his nameâJamesâhe closes his eyes as if that one word alone soothes something deep in his soul.
After weeks of watching him silently carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, you offer him a rag to wipe his face as he sits down at the small table youâve cobbled together from scraps. He takes it without a word, rubbing at the grime on his skin.
âYou donât have to do this forever, you know,â you say softly, leaning against the table as he tosses the rag aside. "Thereâs more to life than breaking your back underground."
He glances at you. "Itâs all Iâm good for now."
"Youâre good for more than that," you reply walking up to him, reaching for his hand. He lets you take it, like he always does. "You canât let what happened define you."
His jaw tightens, but he doesnât pull away. Instead, he gives your hand a small squeeze, his eyes drifting to the floor as he mumbles, "Whatâs inside me⊠itâs different. You donât know what itâs like."
You donât argue. How could you?
The changes in him, the way his strength has grown, how his senses have sharpened, it all impacts him. He can hear things no one else can, smell the rain long before it falls, and even in complete darkness, he sees as clearly as if it were day. His powers are evolving, changing him.
But you know, deep down, that the man sitting in front of you is your friendâyour Jamesâno matter what heâs become.
Youâve seen him wrestle with the fear of what he might turn into, the fear of losing control, but you also see the man who leans into your touch, who lets you bandage his hands after long days in the mines, who presses his forehead to yours when the nights grow too heavy with silence.
And as your time together in the town goes by, there is a shift.
It starts with small thingsâa lingering glance, a brush of your fingers as you pass each other in the kitchen, the way he looks at you when he thinks youâre not paying attention.
Then, it moves to bigger gestures. When youâd pack him his lunch fo the day, you slip in a small piece of parchment with a heart hastily drawn on it, or at night time, instead of falling asleep backs turned toward each other, awkwardly trying to ignore whatever tension is brewing, you fall asleep in his arms, and wake up the same way.
It gets to a point where you can neither of you can deny it.Â
Youâve fallen in love.
â
Itâs late, and youâre sitting by the fire outside the small cabin, waiting for him to return from one of his now-frequent disappearances into the woods. You used to worry about where he went, afraid he was distancing himself from you, so one night you followed him. What you found took your breath awayâhim, sitting out on a ledge, with some wild animals surrounding him. There was something in him that they must have recognized, a mutual respect that seemed to transcend anything human.
Since then, youâve let him go without asking questions, trusting that those nights in the woods bring him the peace he canât find anywhere else. But tonight, when he returns, heâs different. He doesnât just brush past you to head inside. Instead, he sits beside you by the fire.
You turn to him, about to ask if everythingâs alright, but the words catch in your throat when his hand cups your jaw. His grip is gentle, hesitant, as if heâs afraid to break the moment, but in his eyes, you find a longing, a yearning, that mirrors your own.Â
His thumb brushes over your cheek, and for the first time in a long time, thereâs no hesitation in his movements. Your heart stutters, and when he pulls you closer, you let him. His lips meet yours, careful at first, but as you kiss him back, you feel the stress drain from his body.Â
The kiss deepens, slow, tender, and everything youâve ever wanted.
â
The next few years are a kind of peaceful bliss you never expected. With each passing day, you and Logan seem to fall deeper into each other, the bond you share growing stronger, more intimate, like youâve finally found the rhythm of the life you were always meant to have together.
Mornings are your favourite. He always wakes up first, moving quietly so as not to wake you, and heâs gotten into the habit of making you breakfast. You always sneak out of bed and snake your arms around him from behind, pressing your face into his back as he grumbles about you not getting enough sleep. âYouâre always up too early,â heâd say.Â
âI like being up with you,â youâd mumble in response, and heâll turn around, his hands coming up to cradle your face, his eyes soft and full of that quiet, steady love heâs never really put into words. And then heâd kiss you like he has all the time in the world, even if he has to head over to the mines.Â
On your days off from your job at the pub, youâll spend hours together, finding little ways to enjoy the simplicity of your life. He will sometimes take you out to the woods behind the house, where youâd walk the trails together. He points out the different wildlife, the plants you donât recognize, and you tease him about being a mountain man. Heâd smirk, giving you that low, raspy chuckle that never fails to make your heart seize in your chest, and tug you closer to his side.
In the evenings, oftentimes, you sit together while you knit, something that started as a hobby but quickly became one of your preferred pastimes. He always pretends to be uninterested, but heâll watch you anyway. âYouâre getting good at that,â heâd say gruffly.Â
âWant me to make you a sweater?â You smirk, raising an eyebrow.
âMaybe,â heâd grumble, but you can tell heâs secretly pleased at the idea.
The town itself becomes part of your life together, too. Youâve made friends with the locals, joining a small knitting club. If he has time, Logan drops by the pub on your shifts just to check in, sitting at the bar with a beer and watching you work. When your gazes connect very now and then, he gives you that lookâthe one that says heâs proud of you, that heâs content.
âWeâve got a good thing here,â he murmurs one night, holding you close.Â
âYeah,â you agree softly, kissing his cheek. âWe really do.â
But, all good things must come to an end.Â
The mining town, though small and isolated, isnât immune to the tensions that fester beneath the surface. Harsh conditions, grueling work, and the endless grind wear people down, turning frustration into anger, and anger into violence. Fights break out often, especially in the saloon after a long day when men try to drown their sorrows in whiskey. You both have learned to keep your distance from such skirmishes, knowing nothing good ever comes from getting involved.
Still, one night, as you return home from your evening shift at the pub, you hear the unmistakable sounds of a brawl breaking out in the middle of the street. Shouts reverberate through the cold air, followed by the crash of breaking glass. Your heart races as you recognize the deep, guttural growl cutting through the noiseâa sound you know all too well.
On impulse, you rush toward the commotion, dread pooling in your stomach. You know this wonât end well. Not here. Not for him.
When you reach the scene, your worst fears are confirmed. He stands in the centre of the chaos, fists clenched at his sides. Two men circle him, their faces twisted with drunken aggression, goading him. The small crowd thatâs gathered seems almost entertained, too caught up in the spectacle to understand the true danger festering.
âJames!â you shout, trying to get his attention, but to no avail.
One of the menâa burly miner youâve seen around town a few times, always looking for troubleâlunges forward, his fist swinging. The punch connects with your manâs jaw, hard enough to stagger him back, but instead of falling, you see something shift in Loganâs expression. His eyes darken, his jaw tightens. Then, his claws slowly begin sliding out of his knuckles.
The crowd gasps, and the laughter dies immediately.
âDonât come any closer,â he growls, his voice low and full of warning. His chest heaves as he struggles to keep control, but you can see the fire burning behind his eyes. Heâs on the edge, teetering dangerously close to losing himself.
But the miner, too drunk and furious to notice or care, spits on the ground. âFreak!â he slurs, venom lacing every word. âYou think you scare me?â
He charges at Logan again, fists swinging recklessly. Your heart leaps into your throat, and you scream for him to stop. But itâs too late. Logan tries to pull back, to stop whatâs about to happen, but the man is too close, too fast.
Everything slows down, the world moving in fractured seconds. Claws slice through the air, meeting flesh with a sickening thud. The miner gasps, his eyes widening in shock as he stumbles, clutching at his chest where the claws have sunk deep. Blood blooms around his hands, staining the dirt beneath his feet.
And suddenly, youâre thrust back into the past. You see James as he was all those years ago, his claws dripping with blood after killing Thomas. The memory crashes into youâthe look of fear on his face, the horror in his eyes, the way he stumbled back, realizing what heâd done.
Just like now.
Loganâs eyes go wide, his expression mirroring that same devastation. He steps back, staring at the miner who crumples to the ground, gasping for breath. What follows is a deafening silence, the air thick with shock and disbelief. The townspeople that had been so eager for a show now stand frozen, eyes wide, faces pale.
The man gasps one last breath, then goes still.
Logan stares at the body at his feet, his claws still extended, still dripping with the manâs blood. His chest heaves, his breath shallow, and he mutters under his breath, barely audible, "Oh god⊠Not again."
You rush to his side, grabbing his arm in desperation. "Come on, letâs go home."
He doesnât move. Heâs locked in place, staring at the man heâs just killed. His hands tremble, the claws still out, and you can see the raw pain in his eyes as the reality of whatâs just happened sinks in.
"I didnât mean to," he whispers again, his voice cracking. "I didnât⊠I didnât mean toâŠ"
â
That night, while you're sleeping, Logan makes his decision.
And when you wake up the next day, the space beside you is cold.
The shack feels too quiet, too still.Â
All you can do is stare at the empty spot in your bed. You tell yourself that maybe heâs outside, chopping wood or heâs already left for work. But deep down, you know.Â
Throwing on your boots, you donât bother to change out of your nightclothes, and rush outside. His name is the first thing out of your mouth, sharp and desperate. "James! Logan!" Your voice barrels through the small yard, bouncing off the trees and fading into the cool morning air.Â
Thereâs no answer.
Panic grips you as you search the familiar placesâaround the shack, the small trail he likes to take into the woods, by the creek where he often spends time when he needs to clear his head. Thereâs no sign of him.
No footprints, no lingering scent. Nothing.
The townspeople stare as you move through the streets. They know what happened. They saw the claws, the blood. And now, they see youâa reminder of the violence that tore through their quiet lives. But you donât care about their judgment right now. Youâre too focused looking for him, too frantic to worry about the whispers that follow in your wake.
"Have you seen him?" you ask one of the miners who had once shared a drink with him, but he shakes his head and pulls away from you, muttering something under his breath. Everybody keeps their distance, their faces closed off, avoiding your gaze.Â
By the time the sun climbs higher in the sky, the truth settles in your chest like a heavy stone. He left. You wander the streets a little longer, until exhaustion finally forces you back to the shack.
He didnât say goodbye. He didnât even leave a note. The man who you shared your life with, who you fell in love with, is goneâand he isnât coming back.
In the days that follow, everything changes. The people who once greeted you with a nod or a smile now avert their eyes when you walk by. They speak in hushed tones, voices thick with suspicion and disdain.Â
Nobody cares that you had nothing to do with what happened in the street that night. To them, youâre guilty by association.
It starts slowly, but the gossip spreads like wildfire. Saying thinks like: you knew what Logan was all along, that you hid his secret, allowed him to kill their men. Their anger turns to you, and before long, you become the pariahâcut off, unwelcome, the person responsible for the death of one of their own.
The day they decide to exile you is gray and heavy, the sky thick with the promise of rain. No one has the decency to say it to your face. Instead, you wake to a note slipped under your door, the word leave scrawled across it in angry, uneven letters.
You pack what little belongings you haveâa few clothes, some keepsakes from the life you left behind at the Howlett estateâand sling a small bag over your shoulder. Then, you walk away without looking back.
Stretching out before you is a desolate, abandoned looking road. Your legs ache with every step, your feet blistering inside your boots, but you donât stop. The memories of Logan, the town, the life you tried to build together swirl in your mind.
The sound of a a horse whinnying pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to see a carriage approaching. The coachmanâa man with kind eyes and a weathered faceâslows as he pulls alongside you. His voice soft and cautious as he asks, "Need a ride?"
Nodding, youâre too exhausted to respond with words, and climb into the passenger seat. He doesnât ask many questions, sensing perhaps that youâre a soul in need of silence more than conversation. He drives in quiet companionship, the horses' feet against the dirt the only sound breaking the stillness.
He takes you to the nearest town, dropping you off with a quiet wish for better days ahead. You thank him and give him a few coins. Youâre standing on the edge of a new beginning, unsure of where to go next but knowing, with painful certainty, that the past is behind you now.
â
In this new place, you slowly begin to rebuild what youâve lost. It isnât easyâthere are nights when the loneliness threatens to swallow you whole and days when the weight of losing your best friend feels too much to bear. Still, you find work at a small shop, rent a modest room in the quieter part of town, and painstakingly, you carve out a new existence.Â
Though no matter how hard you try to move forward, heâs always there. A shadow, lingering in the corners of your mind. You canât forget himâthe way he looked at you with those intense, searching eyes, the way he held you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to this world, the way he left without a word. Your entire childhood, your early adulthood, revolved around him. He was the best part of your life. Every moment spent with him was cherished, imprinted in your memory like a brand you canât erase.
Nights are the hardest. When the world is quiet, and itâs just you and your thoughts, thatâs when the ache becomes unbearable. Each night, your mind drifts back to him. You tell yourself it wasnât his faultâhe must have believed he was protecting you by leaving.Â
Maybe he thought you would hate him for killing another man with his claws, for unleashing the violence he tried so hard to contain. Maybe he thought you could never forgive him.
But the more you think about it, the more you realize: if he truly believed that, then he didnât know you at all.
And that hurts. A lot.
You start to feel like him in some ways, burdened by secrets and anger with nowhere to go. More often than not, you slip out of the town in your nightgown and into the nearby forest, hoping the solitude will offer some kind of peace. It doesnât, not really, but itâs better than suffocating in your room, choking on memories of what was and what could have been.
â
A year passes since the night he left, and you find yourself standing among the trees once again, lost in thought. Itâs not fairânone of it is. You lost everything, and for what? Because you loved him? Because you could look past his mutation?
All of the emotions youâve done a decent job at managing bubble to the surface, a torrent of grief and rage with nowhere to go. Mindlessly, you draw back your fist and slam it into the trunk of a nearby tree. The impact shoots a sharp pain through your arm, but itâs fleeting, drowned out by the rush of anger. You pull back to punch the tree again, harder this time, desperate for some kind of release.
But the tree doesnât just splinter. It explodes.Â
The force of your punch obliterates the trunk, sending shards of wood flying in all directions. You stagger back, staring at the destruction, stunned. What was just a tall, beautiful arbor is now reduced to nothing but rubble, the strength of your blow far beyond anything a normal person could achieve.
Your breath hitches when it dawns on you. Youâre standing in the middle of the forest, surrounded by the evidence of your newfound power. You arenât just grieving the loss of Logan anymore; youâre discovering that you are, just like him, a mutant.
Except, unlike him, youâre alone.
Heâs not here to hold you, to help you make sense of whatâs happening. Heâs not here to run away with you like you once ran away with him. You have no one to share this terrifying revelation with. You have only yourself.
Looking down at your trembling hands, the faint ache in your knuckles nothing compared to the pain in your chest. Itâs as if your heart is breaking all over again.
If you had knownâif you had discovered this power when he was still with youâwould things have been different? Would he have taken you with him? Would you still be together?
You canât stop the questions, canât silence the what-ifs that plague you.
Finally, the dam breaks, and you cry.
Pressing your fists against your eyes, you try to stifle the sobs, but itâs no use. The grief crashes over you in waves as the life you tried to build together all plays out in your mind like some twisted, unending loop.
â
The days bleed into one another.
Each is marked by the slow, steady march of time. You continue to live, to survive, but the discovery of your mutant powers changes everything, setting you on a path you had never imagined.
You learn that you can channel energy through your body, whether that be your emotions, or external, and then amplify it for your own gain. Itâs a power that protects you, that makes you feel invincible, but the more you use it, the more distant you become from the life you once knew.Â
And then thereâs the other side of your mutationâthe ability to heal others by absorbing their injuries.Â
The first time you did it, it was an accident.Â
You were closing up shop, and as you walked along the cobblestone roads, you saw a man lying face down. Instinctively, you quickened your pace, and crouched down beside him. Was he drunk? Dead? Gently, almost hesitantly, you reached out, placing your hand on his back with the faint hope that he was simply unconscious. Your intention was simpleâjust to check if he was breathing, to see if he would stir at your touch.
But the moment your fingers brushed his coat, a violent surge of pain exploded in your mind, like a thunderclap within your skull. The agony was so sudden, so sharp, that it nearly knocked you off your feet.Â
It was more than painâit was as though the manâs suffering had become yours, pulling you into his darkness. Your vision blurred, and for an instant, you could feel it. Blood. Hot and sticky, trickling down your forehead in a slow, steady stream. You raised a trembling hand to wipe it away, expecting to feel the warmth of it on your fingertips.
But there was nothing. No blood. No wound.
Just the phantom sensation of pain that wasnât your own.
Then, just as suddenly as it had come, the pain vanished. You blinked, gasping for air, trying to steady yourself. When you looked down at the man again, he was stirring, groaning softly. His eyes fluttered open, and he sat up, as if waking from a long sleep. He looked up at you, confused but grateful, oblivious to the power you had just unleashed.
It feels like a curse, the pain of others transferring to you in ways that leave you gasping for breath. But over time, you learn to control it, to take on only as much as you can handle, and to let the rest fade away.
You never stay too long in one place. Town after town, you move, always careful to keep your powers hidden. The people you encounter are kind enough, but you never allow yourself to get close. You canât afford toânot when the memory of him still haunts you, his absence a constant ache in your heart.Â
What if they leave you too?
Every now and then, there are some nights of passion with a stranger, but you never find another lover, never allow yourself to even consider it.Â
As the years slip by, and you move through life like a ghost, always on the fringes, never fully there. In the beginning, you donât notice itâtime is something you stopped paying attention to long ago. But then, one day, nearly ten years after he left, you catch sight of yourself in a mirror.
Your reflection stares back at you, unchanged, unmarked by the years that have passed. Itâs as if time has forgotten you, leaving you suspended in a state of perpetual youth. This knowledgeâthat you could live indefinitelyâfills you with a sense of purpose you havenât felt in years.
So, when the First World War breaks out, you volunteer as a nurse, determined to use your abilities to save as many lives as you can. The troops who come to you are broken, their bodies ravaged by the horrors of war. You take their pain into yourself, healing them with a touch, until there is nothing left but faint scarsâa reminder of what they have survived.
Itâs during the Second World War that you first hear the rumours. Injured men speak in hushed tones of a man they sawâa soldier who seemed invincible, fighting with a ferocity that borders on the inhuman. They talk of clawsâlong, sharp claws that can cut through anything, and a healing ability that allows him to shrug off injuries that would kill anyone else.
Could it be him? Could he still be out there, after all these years?
You dismiss the thought almost as quickly as it comes. It canât be. He would be dead by now, just like everyone else from your past.Â
He is gone, and you are aloneâthatâs the truth youâve come to accept.
â
Somewhere along the way, you meet Charles Xavier. You donât know how, but he knows you. He knows youâre a mutantâhow you helped in the war. And he wants you to join his team.
Youâve spent so long on your own, relying on your powers to survive, that the idea of joining a team feels foreign, almost impossible. But thereâs something in his eyes, something in the way he speaks of his vision for the future, that resonates with you. This isnât just about survivalâitâs about making a difference, about using your powers to protect those who canât protect themselves.Â
And, perhaps, itâs also about finding closure.
Maybe you can help mutants who struggle with their identity, like he did. Maybe this time, you can stop them from running away from themselves, the way you wish you could have stopped him.
So you agree.
And when you arrive at the mansion, youâre introduced to the others who will become your teammatesâJean Grey, Scott Summers, Hank McCoy, and Ororo Munroe.
The early days are challenging. Learning to work as a team, to trust one another, isnât easy, especially for you, after so many years of solitude. But a camaraderie that develops between all of you, and it feels right. Youâre no longer just a group of shunned mutantsâyouâre a family, united by a common goal.
â
This mission is supposed to be simpleâinvestigate a remote facility rumoured to have ties to illegal mutant experimentation. Charles had briefed the team before sending you out, warning that there might be danger but nothing you couldnât handle as a group. Youâve faced threats before, so when you arrive at the facility, itâs with the usual caution but no real alarm.
The structure looks forsaken at first glance, the exterior covered in years of grime, windows cracked and dark. But as you all approach, something feels wrong. Thereâs an energy in the air, a hum of activity beneath the surface. You can sense it, and by the looks of the others, they feel it too.
âWe should be careful,â Scott mutters lowly as his hand hovers near his visor.
Jean furrows her brows. âIâm sensing...something. There are people here. This place isnât emptyâ
Your stomach twists, and once the team cautiously makes its way deeper into the facility, you start to hear itâthe muffled sounds of machinery, the low hum of voices, and then...a scream.
You freeze.
Youâve heard that scream before, in the dead of night, in memories youâve tried to bury.
James.
Without thinking, you push forward, your body moving on instinct as you race toward the source of the sound. The others call after you, but their voices fade into the background as panic claws at your chest.
The scream grows louder, more desperate, until you burst into a large chamber. And there, in the center of the room, suspended in a tank of bubbling liquid, he is.
His body is thrashing against the restraints that bind him, wires and tubes connected to his skin. Machines whir around him, injecting something into his bodyâsomething molten, silvery.Â
A team of scientists in lab coats and armed guards surround the tank, all of them focused on the cruel procedure unfolding before your eyes.
You can barely breathe. The sight of him, after all these yearsâbeing tortured like this is too much. Pain and rage surge through you, and before you realize whatâs happening, youâre moving again.
âWhat the hell are you doing?!â you scream.
The guards whirl toward you, but youâre already on them. The first one goes down with a single blow, your fist connecting with his chest and sending him flying into the wall. You barely register his body crumpling to the floor before you move on to the next.Â
Behind you, Jean and Scott rush in, their powers flashing as they help subdue the remaining guards, but your focus is on the man in the tank, whose eyes are squeezed shut in pain, body convulsing. You canât think straightâyou can only feel the overwhelming need to make this stop, to save him before the experiment finishes.Â
But itâs too late.
In a roar of destruction, he breaks free from the tank, glass and metal exploding outward in every direction. His eyes are wild, erratic, his mind lost to the pain and the transformationâheâs a force of nature now. A whirlwind of violence and fury.
You try to reach him, but Jean steps forward, her eyes glowing as she raises a hand. âIâm sorry,â she strains. Her telekinetic force slams into him, knocking him off his feet, and his body crumples to the ground, unconscious, the rage finally quieted.
Standing there, panting, your hands are shaking as you stare at his still form. Youâre overwhelmedâby the sight of him after so many years, by the pain of seeing him like this, by the fear that you might lose him before you even got him back.
Scott places a hand on your shoulder, his voice gentle. âWe need to get him out of here.â
You nod, unable to speak, and together, the team lifts Loganâs unconscious body and carries him out of the facility. The entire time, you keep your eyes on him, terrified that if you look away for even a second, heâll disappear. When you finally make it back to the jet, Jean lays him on a stretcher, her powers keeping him sedated for the trip back to the X-Mansion. You sit beside him, your hand hovering just above his, too afraid to touch, too afraid to hope.
The jet lifts off, and your mind races with a thousand questions.Â
How did he end up here? Why did they do this to him?Â
But above all, one thought consumes you: Heâs alive.
After all these years, after all the heartache and loss, LoganâJamesâis still here.
â
He remains unconscious for three days, his body healing from the horrific procedure he endured. You barely leave his side, watching over him as if your presence alone could somehow anchor him back to himself. His breathing is steady, but his faceâitâs both exactly the same and entirely foreign to you. He looks like the man youâve known and loved, but itâs what is on the inside that worries you.
You swallow hard, your gaze tracing the familiar lines on his skin. Where are you, James? you think. Are you still in there?
Jean had done a body scan soon after you brought him back to the mansion, and the results confirmed your worst fears: theyâve bound adamantium to his bones and buried his personality underneath the most powerful brainwashing youâve ever heard of.
Itâs devastating. Whatever relief youâd feltâif any at allâat finding him alive is now eclipsed by the crushing reality of what heâs become.
The day he is scheduled to wake, Charles calls a meeting. The team gathers in the briefing room, and you sit quietly in your chair, replaying everything that led up to this moment.
Following a seemingly endless stretch of silence from you, Charles clears his throat. âIf youâre ready, perhaps you could tell us more about your history with him. It might help us understand what weâre dealing with.â
A deep breath fills your lungs as your hands clutch the tableâs edge tightly. Talking about him, about everything youâve been through together, feels like peeling at old wounds that never really healed. But you know itâs necessary. If anyone is going to help him, they need to know the truth.
âI met LoganâJames, as I used to call himâover a hundred years ago, when I was very youngâ you begin, and you can see the surprise ripple through the room at the admission of your age. âWe grew up together. My parents were servants at the Howlett estate, and I spent most of my childhood by his side. He was my best friend⊠and eventually, he became so much more.â Your voice cracks, and you pause for a moment, collecting yourself.
âAfter a tragedy involving his family, we ran away together. We lived in a small mining town for years, trying to find some semblance of a life, but things fell apart. He left, and IâI spent years trying to forget him, but I never could. He wasâisâeverything to me."
Jean leans forward. âI canât imagine how hard this has been for you,â she says softly. âBut you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that when he wakes up⊠he may not be the man you remember, and not just because of how much time passed.â
You look up at her in confusion. âWhat do you mean?â
She hesitates, exchanging a glance with Charles before continuing. âThe brainwashing they used on him wasnât just designed to make him forget. It was meant to strip away his sense of self entirely. His mind was⊠broken down, piece by piece. What you saw back at the facilityâhis rage, his lack of controlâthatâs whatâs left of him right now.â
Hank speaks next. âWeâll do everything we can to help him, but Jeanâs right. You need to be ready for the possibility that he wonât recognize you. He might not even recognize himself.â
Nodding slowly, your heart sinks further and further with each word.Â
âWe have tools, ways to work through the brainwashing,â he continues, âbut it will take time. And patience.â
âTime,â you echo quietly. âIâve already waited so long.â
Ororo reaches across the table, her hand hovering near yours. âI know this is overwhelming. But you donât have to do this alone. Weâre here to help.â
âI need to see him,â you whisper, your voice firmer than before. âWhen he wakes up, I need to be there.â
Charles nods gently. âOf course.â
â
When he finally stirs, itâs not a gentle awakening. His whole body jerks, his head whipping around in wild confusion. His breaths come in sharp, uneven gasps, and his eyes dart frantically across the room, taking in his unfamiliar surroundings, and just as his eyes finally land on you, he freezes.
And for a long moment, neither of you speak.
Thereâs a lump in your throat, and you wait with a bated breath for some flicker of recognition in his eyes, some sign that he remembers youâthat he knows you.
But it never comes.
Instead, his gaze narrows, studying you. âWhere the hell am I?â he grunts. âAnd who are you?â
It hurts more than you expected. You knew this might happenâJean and Charles had warned youâand you thought you had prepared yourself, but it doesnât make hearing it any easier.Â
He doesnât remember you.Â
âJust take it easy,â you manage to say softly. âYouâve been through a lot, James.â
His eyes flicker with confusion as he shifts in the bed, wincing at the movement. "James?" he questions.
You quickly correct yourself. "Logan."
His hand instinctively goes to his chest, fingers brushing against his side as if testing for wounds that arenât there anymore. âWhat is this place?â he asks again.Â
âYouâre at the X-Mansion,â you explain. âYou were... rescued. We brought you here to heal.â
âRescued.â he repeats dryly. âFrom what?â
You hesitate, unsure how much to tell him. How do you explain everythingâthe horrors of Weapon X, the brutal experiments, the torture that nearly destroyed him? You canât even bring yourself to speak the full truth, not yet.Â
âYou were taken,â you say carefully. âBy people who wanted to use you for something terrible. But we got to you before they could. Youâre safe now.â
Logan lets out a short, bitter laugh, though thereâs no humour in it. âSafe,â he mutters, his voice low and sarcastic. âRight.â He rubs a hand across his face.
âWhy do I feel like Iâm missing somethinâ?â he mutters, his irritation growing. âLike... like thereâs something important I should remember.â
Swallowing hard, your heart twists at his words. He is missing something. But you wonât tell him that now. Heâs already grappling with so much, and the last thing he needs is the weight of your shared past thrust upon him before heâs ready.
âDonât worry about it.â Your voice is gentle, coaxing. âItâs... normal to feel confused right now.â
Frowning, he runs a hand through his hair. âLike Iâm supposed to believe that.â
âI know itâs hard to understand,â you say softly. âBut itâll get better. Youâll remember in time.â
He doesnât respond right away, his gaze drifting toward the ceiling as if heâs searching for answers that arenât there. After a moment, he sighs, his eyes returning to yours. âAlright. Who are you, really?â he asks. âWhy do I feel like I should know you?â
Because we grew up together.Â
Because we were everything to each other.Â
Because you were the one person I never stopped loving.Â
âJust focus on resting,â you say, forcing a soft smile.Â
He studies you briefly, as if trying to figure out whether or not to trust you. Then finally, he nods, thought you can tell heâs still wary âYeah... okay.â
The awkward silence returns.Â
âI should go,â you murmur, standing abruptly. The chair scrapes against the floor, the sound jarring in the quiet room. âYou need rest.â
He doesnât stop you, doesnât ask you to stay. He just watches as you turn toward the door, and leave.
Your chest tightens painfully as you walk out of the room, the familiar ache of loss settling in once more. Itâs worse this time, thoughâworse because heâs alive, and yet, in every way that matters, heâs gone.
You leave the room in a daze, your mind swirling with a storm of emotions. Your feet carry you down the hall, and before you realize whatâs happening, you find yourself in the washroom.Â
The moment the door clicks shut, your stomach lurches. You barely make it a toilet before youâre retching. Tears sting your eyes, and you brace yourself against the cold porcelain, gasping for breath as your body shakes with sobs.
Standing up and flushing, you walk over to the sink, and press your forehead against the mirror. How did it come to this? You found him, after all these years, but the person in that bed isnât the Loganâit isnât the Jamesâyou once knew.Â
Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you close your eyes, taking a deep breath as you try to pull yourself together. It's not the time to breakdown, you think, and after splashing some water on your face, you turn toward the exit.
Pushing open the door, youâre met with the familiar gaze of Ororo. She stands in the hallway, her white hair cascading down her shoulders, her eyes filled with something that feels like both understanding and pity.
Your eyes widen, caught off guard, not expecting to see anyone, least of all her.
âI saw you come in here,â she whispers empathetically, âbut thought you might need a moment.â
You pause, trying to blink away the redness in your eyes, trying to pretend youâre stronger than you feel. But she sees through it. She always has.
âIâm fine,â you say, the words slipping out automatically.
Stepping closer, her gaze softens as she studies your face. âNo,â she disagrees, âyouâre not.â
The vulnerability youâve been trying to keep at bay rushes forward again, threatening to swallow you whole. You open your mouth to argue, to brush it off, but the moment you meet her eyes, the words die in your throat. The pity, the compassionâitâs too much.
Silently, she reaches out, her hand resting lightly on your arm. Itâs a small gesture, but it feels grounding.
âI saw him,â you whisper, your voice trembling. âHe doesnât remember me.â
âI know,â she says quietly. âIâm so sorry.âÂ
â
The next few days are a blur. You keep yourself busyâtoo busyâhoping that constant movement will keep the gnawing ache at bay. If you let yourself stop, if you let yourself think about whatâs happened, the hurt would consume you, so you donât stop.
Most of your time is spent in your room or the garden, taking refuge in the places where you can hide from everything, everyone.
Sometimes, you train, pushing your body past its limits in a desperate attempt to silence your thoughts. Every hit you land, every punch you throw, never feels like enough.
Itâs easier this way, you tell yourself. Easier to avoid him, to pretend he never came back into your life. Because the alternativeâwatching him live here, knowing he doesnât remember you, doesnât understand what you once sharedâthatâs too painful.
Youâd rather pretend heâs still a memory than face the reality that the man you love is here, but not really.
When you walk through the mansion, you see him from afar. You canât help but notice how heâs begun to soften around the others, how the confused man who woke up in that bed is slowly adjusting to life at the mansion. He has daily appointments with Charles, who you imagine is sifting through his mind, doing his very best to retrieve something, anything.
While there is still a distance in his eyes, still a guarded edge to him, but you can see the small shiftsâthe way he listens when someone speaks, the faintest hint of a smile when Hank tries to crack a joke.
And sometimes, your eyes meet.
From across the room, youâll catch him watching you. In those moments, your heart skips a beat, wondering if thereâs a reason why heâs zeroed in on you specifically, but then he looks away, and it passes. You never approach him, never ask him how heâs feeling or if heâs starting to remember anything. Youâre too afraid of the answer.
One night, you sit in the garden, letting the soft breeze play with your hair, eyes closed.Â
âMind if I sit here?â
The voice startles you, pulling you from your thoughts. Your eyelids flutter, and as you turn, your heart jolts upon seeing Logan standing at above you. And momentarily, itâs like youâre teenagers againâsneaking out at night into the gardens to talk.Â
âSure,â you nod, gently patting the space beside you, as you always did.Â
He steps closer and sits down, though not without leaving a small space between the two of you. âIâve been seeing you around,â he says after a beat.. He doesnât look at you, his gaze focused on the flowers in front of him. âBut... youâve been avoidinâ me, havenât you?â
A small laugh escapes you, bitter and self-deprecating. âYou noticed, huh?â
âYeah, not much gets past me. Even that one guyâs attempts at being a leader.â
Despite yourself, you snort. âScott?â
He chuckles, shaking his head. âHeâs too easy. Guy looks like a human stoplight with those stupid glasses.â
You bite back a snicker, feeling like a teenager again. The banter, the lighthearted teasingâit makes it seem like maybe, just maybe, thereâs still something left of the man you knew.
He turns his head slightly, his expression growing more serious. âYou know, Iâve been trying to figure it out,â he says, quieter now. âWhy it feels like somethingâs missing. Every time I see you... I know youâre related to it.â
Shifting a little to look at him, you take in the way his facial hair is a little bit more kempt, how he still has his hair tufts. You miss him, and heâs right here with you.Â
âI... thought it would be easier,â you admit, staring down at your hands. âFor both of us. If I kept my distance. I didnât want to add to your stress.â
Frowning, his brows furrow as he processes your words. âAdd to it? How?â
âBecause you donât remember me,â you say softly. âAnd I didnât want to be a reminder of something you canât recall.â
He stares at you for a long moment. Then, âyouâre right. I donât remember everything,â he says slowly, âbut I know thereâs something about you.â
You nod, your throat tight, but you donât push him. You know itâs only a matter of time before the pieces fall into place. âYouâll remember,â you whisper. âI know it.â
He grunts. âI donât want you to keep your distance.â
âI wonât. Not anymore.â The idea of him wanting to spend more time with you, fills you with joy.
â
For the next few weeks, it becomes a quiet routineâthe nightly conversations in the garden. Itâs like slipping into an old rhythm, the two of you always finding a way to gravitate toward each other once the sun goes down. You talk about small things, but it's never too heavy. Sometimes he teases you, and you tease him back, exchanging sarcastic quips. Nothing and everything has changed at the same time.
Youâve started training together too, spending more and more time together each day. Itâs almost as if thereâs a magnet between you that not even time could weaken.
This night, youâre in the gym together on the sparring mat. Itâs the usual scenario playing outâdodging, blocking, throwing punches. Heâs fast and strong. And it means a lot to see you see him finally embrace his mutant powers and use them, rather than try to hide and run.Â
Youâre both breathing hard, the exertion pushing your bodies to their limits. You land a solid kick to his side, and he grunts, stepping back for a moment. Without warning, his claws extend, and your gaze locks in on them.
Of course you know about the adamantium, but seeing it like this, so up close, itâs different.Â
âWhat?â Logan asks, noticing your sudden stillness. His brow furrows, and he glances down at his claws, as if heâs only just realizing theyâre out. âWhat are you staring at?â
âDoes it hurt?â you question, clearing your throat. âWhen they come out?â
He tilts his head, his gaze flicking between you and his claws. âEverytimeâ he sighs. âBut not as much as the old ones.â
Your eyes snap up from his claws to meet his. â... What?â you ask. The old ones?
âThey were bone,â he continues, âHurt like a bitch.â
Your heart starts pounding in your chest. Could this be it? Could he be remembering?
Stepping closer, your voice trembles slightly as you push for more. âWhat else do you remember?â
His eyes widen, and then he blinks, his stare glazing over for a second, like heâs trying to chase down a memory thatâs just out of reach.
âI⊠I donât know,â he admits with a bit of frustration. His claws retract, his hand flexing unconsciously as he stares at the empty space where the blades once were. âItâs all bits and pieces. I get these flashes, but nothing sticks. Charles said... he said the barriers in my mind are cominâ down, but itâs slow. Like finding a damn needle in a haystack.â
But the fact that he remembers even a sliver, is enough to fill you with hope.
â
This continues, the small fragments of memories coming back to him. They come unexpectedly, at random times in the day. Itâs never anything big, never the full flood of memories youâre hoping for, but each time it happens, it feels like another piece of the puzzle falling into place.
You suggest a walk one afternoon. The mansion has felt a little too closed in lately, and you think maybe the fresh air might help clear his mind. Together, you wander along a little pathway that connects the mansion to a nearby river, the sound of the water in the distance a soothing backdrop as you walk side by side. Heâs quiet, more so than usual, and as you glance at him, you notice his expression has grown distant.
âLogan?â you ask softly, nudging his arm. âWhatâs on your mind?â
He doesnât answer immediately, his gaze fixed on the path ahead. His brow is furrowed, like heâs trying to fit together pieces of a puzzle, his thoughts distant, swirling. âI rememberâŠâ he starts, his voice quiet, as if heâs speaking more to himself than to you.
Your fingers begin to twitch at your side. Every time he remembers something, it feels like youâre standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting to see if heâll fall into the past, if this will be the moment he remembers it all.
âA cabin,â he says finally, his voice rough but certain. âThere was a shack. In a small town. I used to stay there.â
You nod, urging him to continue, anticipated building within your chest. âGo on.â
âIt was small. Cold most of the time. But I donât think I cared.â He lets a chuckle. âI liked it. Felt... peaceful.â
You canât help but smile a little at the memories heâs bringing up. His steps falter, and he stops in the middle of the path, turning to look at you. âMining,â he mutters, as if the word itself is triggering something. âI remember mining.â
âThatâs good,â you say. âIâm happy for you.â
â
The memories keep coming.
Youâre in the mansion, passing through one of the long hallways together on your way to eat, when he suddenly stops, his hand reaching out to steady himself against the wall. You turn, concern flooding through you. âAre you okay? What is it?â
He frowns, his eyes narrowing as if heâs trying to force something into focus. âThere was a girl.â
âA girl?â you repeat, not wanting to push him but unable to stop the question from spilling out.
âYeah,â he confirms. âIn a big houseâlike a mansion, I think. We'd play together. She was... she was always following me around. Always gettinâ into trouble.â
You know exactly who heâs talking about.
âDo you remember her name?âÂ
Shaking his head, you can see the frustration etched onto his face. âNo. But she must have been important, I can feel it.â
Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you try to hold yourself together. It was me, you want to say. That little girl was me.
âItâs okay,â you say instead, your hand reaching out to touch his arm. âYouâll remember. Youâre already so close.â
He looks at you then, his eyes searching yours for somethingâanswers, reassurance. Once a few seconds pass, he sighs and shakes his head.
âI donât know how you put up with this,â he grumbles lowly. âWith me.â
âBecause I know you,â you whisper back.Â
To have a chance at another lifetime with him, youâd put up with anything.Â
â
Heâs busy with Jean and Charles this morning, the duo having started to work together last week, trying to finally break down the wall stopping Logan from recovering his memories. With nothing else to occupy you, youâve retreated to the mansionâs library, seeking solace in the endless rows of books. The familiar smell of paper and ink is comforting, and for a while, you manage to lose yourself in the words on the page.Â
Youâre curled up in one of the oversized armchairs, a book resting in your lap, when your ears pick up the sound of heavy footstepsâfast, purposeful, ringing out through the mansionâs quiet halls.
Concern rises in your chest. Those footsteps arenât casual; someone is rushing, and youâve been around long enough to know that in here, that usually means somethingâs wrong.
Setting the book down on the small table beside you, you stand and head toward the entrance of the library. The sound grows louder, the footsteps coming closer, and just as you reach the doorway, you collide with a solid wall of muscle.
"Hoâholy shâ" you gasp, stumbling back, startled. Your hands fly to steady yourself, and you look up, wide-eyed, to see Logan standing there. "Logan, you scared mâ"
âJames.â
You still.Â
"What?" you whisper, your mind racing as you stare at him. His face is differentânot just the usual irritated-by-himself expression heâs been wearing lately, but something else. Thereâs a certainty in his eyes, relief and maybe evenâ
âMy name is James,â he repeats. âI was born in Alberta. We grew up together. I... I killed my father.â His voice falters slightly at that, but he pushes through, his gaze locked on yours, unwavering. âYou were the little girl in the mansion. Youâve always been there. And Iââ His eyes brim with emotion. âI love you.â
The words slam into you, leaving you breathless. You can feel the blood drain from your face, your heart jumping so hard it feels like it might burst. âYou... you remember?â Youâre barely able to get the words out.
LoganâJamesâstares at you. âI remember everything.â
A sob escapes your throat, and you throw your arms around him, burying your face in his chest as the floodgates open. His arms come around you immediately, holding you tight, his chin resting on the top of your head.
âIâm sorry,â he murmurs. âIâm so damn sorry. I should have never left. I should have gone back to find you.â
You shake your head, tears soaking into his shirt. âIt doesnât matter,â your voice breaks. âNone of that matters anymore. Weâre together now. Thatâs all I care about.â
He pulls back slightly, just enough to cup your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that wonât stop falling. Thereâs so much loveâso much everythingâin his eyes, your knees nearly buckle. All you do is hold on to him, as tightly as you can, afraid that if you let go, this moment will slip away.
But it wonât, because heâs really here, he remembers, and he still loves you.
For what feels like hours, you stand there in the hallway, wrapped in each otherâs arms. Eventually, you take a small step back, unwrapping your arms and instead grabbing his hands, squeezing them. âWe have a lot to talk about.â
He squeezes your hands back in return. âYeah, we do.â
â
You sniffle, wiping away the last of your tears as you lie in bed with him, pressed so close it feels like youâre trying to merge into one person. His warmth surrounds you, his arm wrapped protectively around your waist, hands drawing small circles. Itâs like all the years apart never happened, like youâre finally back where youâre meant to be.
âSo, what made it all come back to you?â you ask softly, your voice a bit hoarsefrom all the crying youâve done in the last hour.
James takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling slowly. âI guess having two strong telepaths digginâ around in your mind will do the trick,â he responds. âShit was brutal, but... worth it.â
Tilting his head down, he presses a small kiss to your temple. If even possible, you nestle yourself further into his hold.Â
âI thought Iâd lost you forever,â you whisper. âAll those years... I never thought Iâd see you again.â
âSame for me. Thought I lost you too,â James murmurs, his hand running gently up and down your back. âAfter I left the cabin, I tried to forget. Tried to convince myself you were better off without me, but...â He trails off. âI was wrongâa coward. I shouldnât have been runninâ away. Especially from you.â
You look up at him, your eyes searching his. âWhat did you do all those years? Where did you go?â
He lets out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. âI wandered. For a long time, I didnât stay in one place. Fought when I had to, drank when I couldnât forget. Got into a lot of trouble.â He grimaces slightly.Â
You frown. âWhat kind of trouble?â
âThe kind where people like me arenât supposed to be walking free,â he remarks bitterly. âI gave into the monster I thought I was.â
His words sink in, and you can feel the toll those years took on him, the way they left him scarred, not just physically, but emotionally. âIt must have been so hard,â you whisper, your hand reaching up to cup his cheek. âLiving like that, without... anyone.â
Leaning into your touch, âYeah,â he admits. âIt was. But... I didnât know how to live any other way. Not after everything that happened.â
Thereâs a long pause, the two of you lying there, bodies tangled together as you both process the weight of whatâs been lost and whatâs been found. Then, he kisses the inside of your hand, looking at you with a faint, curious smile.
âWhat about you?â he asks softly, tugging you closer. âWhen did you... ya know, find out you were a mutant?â
The question catches you off guard, and for a moment, you donât know how to respond. Youâve never really talked about that part of your life to anyone, at least not in detail.Â
âI didnât know for about a year,â you begin. âAfter you left, I was... lost. And then one day... I punched a tree.â
James raises an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that. âA tree?â
You nod, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the seriousness of the memory. âYeah. I was angryâangry at everything. And when I punched it... the damn thing exploded.â
He stares at you for a moment, processing your words. Then, a slow, amused grin spreads across his face. âExploded, huh? Guess thatâs one way to find out youâre not normal.â
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. âYeah, it wasnât exactly subtle.â
His smile fades slightly. âWhat did you do after that?â
Taking a deep breath, you let the memories of those early days as a mutant flood back. âI tried to keep it hidden for a while. Didnât really know what to do with it. But then... the wars started.â
Eyes narrowing, his expression changes instantly. âThe wars?â
Nodding, you continue. âYeah, the First and Second. I volunteered as a nurse. I figured if I could use my powers to help people, then maybe I could make up for everything I lost. I moved station to station, healing soldiers. I couldnât save everyone, but I tried.â
Heâs momentarily quiet, gaze never leaving yours, even as he processes what youâre telling him. Then, slowly, his features shift into disbelief.
âYou were on the frontlines?â His voice low, almost incredulous. He reaches out to brush a few strands of hair out of your face.Â
âYeah. I wanted to make a difference.â
Letting out a sharp breath, James sits up slightly in bed as he stares at you. âHoly shit,â he mutters. âI fought in those wars, too. In the trenches.â
Youâre speechless, and the realization washes over you slowly. The whisperings youâd heard from the troops, the rumours youâd chalked up to be nothing more than drunken tales, suddenly come flooding back. A man who couldnât be killed, who healed from every injury, who fought with claws that could tear through anything.
It was him.
It was always him.
âOh my god,â you breathe. âSo it was trueâŠall those rumours about the man who couldnât die... that was you.â
âYeah,â he says quietly. âGuess it was.â
All those years, all those battles... and you were both there, so close, yet so far apart.Â
âWe were so close,â you say, moving forward in to give him a kiss. âAnd we didnât even know it.â
He kisses you back, his grip on you tightening. Then, when you pull away, he sighs, leaning back against the headboard. âItâs all so different now,â he begins gruffly. âYouâre not the little maid in training anymore, runninâ around that mansion, worried about getting caughtâ
You smile faintly at the memories of your younger selves, the girl you used to be, and the boy who was so much more to you than just a young lord.Â
âAnd youâre not sir James Howlett or whateverâLordâanymoreâ you tease. âYouâve come a long way from the boy who used to sulk in the garden because he had to attend another dinner party.â
He lets out a noise that sounds like a mix between a huff and a laugh âYeah,â he agrees. âThat feels like a lifetime ago. And in a way, I guess it was.â
While neither of you are the same people you once were, in this moment, you can feel that connectionâthe one that has always been there.
âIâve thought about you every day,â he speaks up again. âAll those years.â
âJamesâŠâ
âI love you,â he confesses. âAnd Iâve loved you my whole life. Before we ran away, after I left, even after I thought you were gone... I couldnât forget. Didnât want to.â He sucks in a harsh breath, grabbing your hand once more. âI shouldnât have left. I should have stayed. We couldâve figured it out together, but I was so... so damn scared. I thought if I stayed, Iâd only hurt you.â
You feel tears welling up in your eyes again. âYou did what you thought was right,â you whisper, intertwining your fingers. âYou were scared, and so was I.â
âI wish I could take it all back,â he says, regret bleeding into his tone. âI wish I couldâve been there for you... We couldâve had so many more years together.â
âWe have time now,â you say softly, assuring him. âWe have all the time in the world to make up for it.â
He doesnât respond verbally, but rather he edges forward, brushing his lips softly against yours. âI love you,â he murmurs before closing the gap completely, kissing you passionately.
You smile against his lips, because while he may be known as logan, or Wolverine, heâs still James.
Your James.Â
----
A/N: I'm going to have to either write some crazy smut or excessive fluff now because this took it out of me LOL also I hope none of you got confused with the name switching! Thank you so much for reading <3
#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#logan x reader#logan howlett fic#x men#wolverine#deadpool movie#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x reader#deadpool 3#hugh jackman#logan howlett angst#x men origins: wolverine#wolverine angst#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#angst#mcu#marvel fanfiction#james logan howlett
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effet mer | jjk
‷ effet mer, french for sea effect, but itâs a play on word. effet mer and Ă©phĂ©mĂšre are pronounced the same way in french and Ă©phĂ©mĂšre stands for ephemeral.Â
†pairing: jungkook x female readerÂ
†genre: best friend's brother, kinda strangers to lovers, roommates au, angst, fluff, and smutÂ
†rating: 18+
†words: 11,197
†summary: everything we face in life is ephemeral, nothing stays forever, even the bad. when you and your roommate, jungkook, face devastating breakups, you leave everything to spend some days at the beach holding the worldâs record of the highest waves. it brings you comfort but also brings you closer as you get to truly know each other.Â
†warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, mention of cheating, mention of breakups, jungkook and oc are completely broken, mention of sex, teasing, a lot of making out, nipple play, mention of nipple sucking, face riding, oral sex (f & m receiving), hair pulling, dom!jungkook, big cock!jungkook, tattooed!jungkook, praising, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, riding, missionary, doggy style, creampie, multiple orgasms, and overstimulationÂ
†authorâs note: here it is the little fic đ€ i had a lot of fun writing this, especially since iâm talking about a place very dear to me & also since i get to promote a bit of my culture in a fic (a first time for me). as a portuguese, this is very special & i think this fic will hold a special place in my heart đ hope youâll enjoy it & let me know what you think âš
Nazaré (check out this video so you get to visualize the little town)
MASTERLIST | MOODBOARD
The waves.Â
The crashing of the waves against the sturdy rock and soft sand is the only sound echoing in your ears. It brings an immense sense of comfort, the only sound calming your tormented soul. Coming here, you knew it would quiet the turmoil within your mind.Â
The sight of the waves colliding against the monumental rock also brings peace. Itâs thrilling to see what Mother Nature can do. The waves are incredibly high and powerful, offering you and any person present a wonderful show. For years, you wished to come see those impressive waves but never got the chance.Â
What brings you here is your roommate, Jungkook, whoâs also the older brother of your best friend, Joongki. Youâve been living under the same roof for five years already. You were looking for a bed during your college years, he was looking for a roommate, and Joongki put you together.Â
Even though youâve been living together for a long time, you barely know each other. Jungkook is a night owl, basically living at night, and during the day, whenever heâs awake, heâs at his girlfriendâs place. Well, ex-girlfriend now. On your side, youâd also spend a tremendous amount of time with your boyfriend in and out of the apartment. Well, your now ex-boyfriend.Â
Your ex-boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend are what brought you and Jungkook here. His girlfriend was cheating on him while your boyfriend didnât love you anymore.Â
Itâs hard. Way too hard.Â
Amid your pain, Jungkook proposed to drop everything for a couple of days and go to a place you both have always desired to visit. Praia do Norte (North Beach in English). Itâs a beach located in Portugal, in NazarĂ© to be precise. The city isnât far from the capital, Lisbon. Â
This coastal town is known for its massive waves, some of which can reach heights over 100 feet - 30 meters during winter time.Â
Years ago, you spent some days with your friends in NazarĂ© in July. It was already a breathtaking place. You saw pictures everywhere of the impressive waves. After that, it became your dream to see them. Life happened and you never got to go there.Â
Jungkook, on his side, heard of this place through a documentary he once watched. Throughout his entire relationship with his ex, he proposed her to travel to that town, but she never was really interested.Â
Randomly, through a very rare conversation, you found out about your mutual interest in NazarĂ©. Then, when your hearts got broken, you found yourselves being locked up in the apartment, crying like babies. Jungkook suggested the coastal town, and you embarked on this little journey together.Â
As a wave is forming in the sea, you grab your phone to record it. Although you foresee it to be impressive, it exceeds all your expectations. Itâs breathtaking, and by far, the prettiest natural event your eyes have ever witnessed.Â
âWoow,â you say while firmly holding your phone in your hands. Â
Youâre completely mesmerized by the impressive wave, you forget about everything. Itâs just you and the wave. Itâs an incredible feeling, one you hadnât felt in a while. Being here genuinely brings you comfort to your soul.Â
Slowly, you turn your head to look at the person who brought you here, Jungkook. Heâs also looking at the sea with the same face as yours, and it makes you smile. Thereâs not much you know about this man. Sometimes you wonder how he is like. Everything you know about him, youâve heard it from Joongki. Itâs quite odd that you donât really know anything about your roommate but it has always been fine for you like that.Â
âThatâs the coolest thing Iâve ever seen,â Jungkook says with evident bliss in his eyes.   Â
Jungkook and Joongki are quite similar. Physically, you mean. They share the same pair of doe eyes, the same eye and hair color, the same facial shape, and the same smile. A lot of people mistake them for twins because they really look a lot like each other. Â
The first time you saw Jungkook, you also thought it was your best friendâs twin. But as time passed, you noticed how different they can be. Jungkook clearly looks older than his brother, heâs after all three years older than Joongki.Â
âCouldnât agree more with youâ, you tell him with your eyes still on him.Â
For the past three months, youâve been wondering how his ex-girlfriend could have cheated on him. Heâs clearly a good-looking man, and on top of that, he doesnât seem like a bad guy. Youâre not sure to understand in general how someone can cheat. Wouldnât it be easier to simply say: âI want to be with someone elseâ? At least, your ex had the decency to say it.Â
You chase away those thoughts before crying in front of thousands of people, and especially before ruining your entire trip.Â
Your eyes look again at the sea. Itâs slowly getting colder. As time passes, the sea looks more and more furious, the waves are only getting bigger and bigger, and as they hit the rock, water is thrown at your faces.Â
Youâre fully covered to try to protect yourself as much as possible from the water, but it seems not enough. But itâs incredible to be here.Â
âDo you want to stay any longer?â Jungkook asks while he turns his head to you. Â
With your roommate, youâve been watching the waves for already two hours although it doesnât feel like it. you look down at your phone to check what time it is. Itâs already 6:45 pm. As youâve booked a table for 7:30 pm at a restaurant, itâs probably best to get going. Given the long road to the restaurant, you must leave to ensure youâre on time.Â
âI donât think so,â you answer. âWe still need to walk to the restaurant and it might take some time,â your eyes look around as you think about the fact you still have to walk for a bit. âAnd I made a reservation at 7:30 pm for tonight, so itâs best to keep going.âÂ
Jungkook simply nods, agreeing with you. Slowly, you turn around and walk away from the waves. You look behind you one last time to admire a wave crashing against the impressive rock.Â
Jungkook has yet to learn where the restaurant is. Heâs never been in this town while you have. So he doesnât have much choice but to follow you around. On top of it, youâre the one who made the reservation so for sure, you know where the restaurant is.Â
If someone had told him five years ago heâd be in NazarĂ© with his new roommate, he would have never believed it. Probably, he would have laughed at their face. Outside the fact that youâre his little brother's best friend, he doesnât know much about you. It has never bothered him not to know you.Â
However, since youâre both single, things are different. Youâve been talking and even traveling abroad together. Presumably, traveling with a stranger isnât the best idea but he fundamentally trusts you. Youâre not completely a stranger to him, but thereâs very little if nothing he knows about you.Â
But he doesnât mind. After all, youâre both here to enjoy the impressive waves.Â
NazarĂ©âs downtown is made of tiny streets which gives its charm. Based on the info he found about the town, itâs the typical type of street in Portugal. So far, he has been loving this town. For sure, the waves are quite a big deal, but the coastal town is captivating. He loves everything about NazarĂ©, and heâs only been here for a day.  Â
The people are also extremely nice and always smiling even though sometimes itâs hard to communicate with them since they only speak Portuguese. But thereâs always a way to understand each other. Heâs genuinely happy to be here, and heâs already thinking about coming back more frequently, maybe even during summertime to discover the town from another perspective. It must be so different from wintertime.Â
After a long walk, you finally reach the restaurant located on a very small street. Jungkook is definitely falling in love with this city. Right now, heâs kind of grateful he never came with his ex otherwise it would have been excruciating to be here. Most probably, he wouldnât be here today with you.Â
You enter the restaurant, and a man comes in your direction. âOlĂĄ,â he firstly says. Based on the very limited words he got to learn in the past 24 hours, Jungkook knows that âolĂĄâ is the portuguese equivalent of âhelloâ.Â
âOlĂĄ,â you answer in portuguese. âWe have a reservation for 2 under the name y/l/n,â you continue in english.Â
âLet me quickly check,â he moves to a little piece of furniture at the entrance composed of some books and a cash register. Â
Jungkook takes a look at the restaurant. Itâs very small but definitely very charming.Â
âFollow me, please,â says the waiter when he comes back to you.Â
The waiter shows you a little table on the left corner of the restaurant. This very cozy place is already crowded, most definitely a popular place to be in NazarĂ©.Â
âHere are the menus,â he hands you both menus.Â
âThey do fantastic pizzas here,â you say once the waiter leaves. âI came here once with my friends and promised myself Iâd come here again.âÂ
âLetâs see,â a little smile appears on Jungkookâs face.Â
For a hot minute, he stares at you while you look down at the menu.Â
Since the moment, he met you he always believed his little brother was in love with you. He couldnât stop talking about you with such a spark in his eyes. However, as time went by, he realized he was wrong, or at least partially. His eyes have a spark because he adores you as a friend and because you seem to be a wonderful person. There is something about you that is appealing, Jungkook wonât deny it.Â
In the past 24 hours, heâs got to learn a bit more about you. Even though itâs pretty obvious youâre still trying to get over a breakup, youâve been immensely excited to be here and show him around the places you know. And heâs been lucky to see a bright spark in your eyes. Youâre without any doubt in love with this coastal town, he can tell that.Â
The pizzas were, as you remember, fucking delicious. Jungkook even admitted it afterward.Â
Funnily enough, during dinner, you got to discuss with the owner, who was also acting as a waiter. Heâs actually french. He came here once, fell in love with the town, and decided to move here. He then opened this restaurant with his mother, and luckily, itâs always crowded. It can be calmer during periods but itâs always for a short time.Â
âNot sure Iâll want to come back home after this stay,â Jungkook tells you as youâre making your way to the little apartment youâre staying in.Â
âMe neither,â you say.Â
The only thought of leaving this place breaks your heart. Once you get back home, reality will hit you. Youâll once more be reminded of your lost love. Maybe the pain will be more bearable as youâve taken some time for yourself here in NazarĂ©.Â
The rest of the walk until the apartment is made in silence while you look around. Everything about this place screams perfection. The people, the food, the views, the tiny houses, the sea, and everything else. NazarĂ© will now be your safe place on earth. Itâll be the place youâll always look forward to coming again. Strangely, it feels like you belong here.  Â
When youâre not very far from the apartment, it starts raining, and not just a bit. The two of you put the hood of your jackets on your heads.Â
âLetâs run to the apartment?â Jungkook asks.Â
The only answer you gave him is starting to run.Â
âEeeh,â he screams while he starts running after you. âWait for me.âÂ
A little chuckle escapes your lips when you hear him complain. Since you run in the opposite direction of the rain, it hits you right in the face. Itâs not pleasant at all, but youâll soon reach the place youâre renting. But running in the middle of those tiny streets with Jungkook behind you makes you feel alive.Â
In a matter of seconds, Jungkook catches you. For a brief moment, you look at each other with the brightest smiles on your faces. Youâre both feeling the same, you know it. Your roommate grabs your hand while you keep running under the heavy rain. He holds your hand tightly in his, the warmth of his hand contrasting with the cold weather outside.Â
Feeling his hand in yours unimaginably warms your heart.Â
When you reach the apartment, you both stop at the main entrance. Briefly, youâre standing face to face, breathing hard, and staring deep into each otherâs eyes. Over the years, you didnât really have the opportunity to see him up close, but lately, it feels like youâve only been physically close. Â
This closeness has allowed you to really look at him. Although Jungkook looks a lot like your best friend, heâs more attractive, charming, and alluring. This man can have any woman he desires, but he chooses not. Itâs understandable due to his recent breakup. But based on how Joongki speaks about him, heâs never been a womanizer. Heâs more of an âi want a long-term relationshipâ guy.Â
Jungkookâs hand brushes a strand of hair falling on your face. The simple touch of his fingers against your skin sends shivers down your spine. The two of you donât cease to stare into each other eyes. This simple and intimate moment is something you never thought would happen five years ago.Â
Well, even yesterday, you never thought itâd happened.
Youâre interrupted by someone leaving the apartment complex standing in front of you. By reflex, you take a step back, creating some space between you and Jungkook. The person greets you before disappearing behind you.Â
Before the main entrance door closes, Jungkook takes a big step to keep it open. âAfter you,â he smiles at you while he gestures for you to come inside the complex. A smile spreads across your face as you make your way inside. When you pass by him, you take in his strong perfume. He smells so good.Â
Joongkiâs brother follows you, closing the door behind him. The apartment is located on the first floor so luckily, you only have to climb a few steps. You hurry up because you only want to be warm.Â
Once in front of the door, you take the keys from your pocket. Your winter jacket contains a massive pocket on the inside. Youâve placed all your important belongings like your phone, ID Card, bank card, and the keys. At least youâre sure you wonât lose anything nor anything wonât be stolen.Â
Once inside, the first thing you do is remove your jackets, and shoes. Itâs a bit warmer inside but you still need to turn on the heating. The two of you head to the small living room.Â
The place you rent isnât big, but itâs enough for you. Thereâs no need to have a massive apartment for two people. Two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a bathroom are largely enough. No need for more. Â
The owner of the apartment left some portuguese liqueurs for you to enjoy. He advised you to start with âLicor BeirĂŁoâ. As the owner said, itâs a sweet liqueur that tastes like orange. You havenât tasted it yet but tonight you feel like you really want to.Â
âDo you want to taste the famous liqueur the owner advises us to taste?â you ask Jungkook as you grab the bottle from a wardrobe.Â
For a brief moment, Jungkook simply watches you while you hold the bottle in your hand. The look he gives you makes you feel a bit special as it is the same look he gave you at the complex entrance.Â
âWhy not,â he replies with a smile.Â
Your roommate goes to the kitchen to grab two glasses. He remembers that the owner told you to put a cube of ice in your drink to make it even better. He said: âLicor BeirĂŁo without ice tastes like shit.â A smirk appears on his face when he recalls those words.Â
When he comes back with the glasses, you donât waste any second to poor a bit of liqueur. You hand one of the glasses to your roommate and take the other. While you both take a seat on the couch, you take a sip of your drink. Â
âFuck,â Jungkook says. âItâs delicious.âÂ
A little laugh escapes your lips as you hear him slobber about the drink. Your eyes wander a tiny bit on his face. Â
âIndeed,â you say.  Â
Itâs certainly not bad at all. Itâs also not that strong for a liqueur, maybe the sweetness hides the hardness of the alcohol. Probably, you wonât be drinking much since you donât really want to end up drunk in front of Jungkook. Youâll for sure embarrass yourself.Â
âThis will definitely warm me after this cold rain,â Jungkook says while taking another sip.Â
You put your drink down on the coffee table before sitting properly on the couch and placing a blanket on top of your legs.Â
âItâs still unbelievable that weâre here,â you tell him.Â
âYep, yep,â he nods and takes another sip. âI would have never bet that one day, Iâd travel with you.â He puts down his drink next to yours and sits closer to you.Â
This closeness is something you still need to adjust to. Itâs so new.Â
âMe neither,â you say. âI actually never pictured myself traveling with someone else than Guwon,â you almost whisper at the end of the sentence.Â
Guwon was your boyfriend for more than five years. You were dreaming of starting a family with him, seriously considering moving in with him and already discussing marriage. You were madly in love with him and you strongly believed that he was your forever person. But you got it all wrong.Â
One day, out of the blue, he told you that he didnât love you anymore. It devastated you beyond comprehension. You begged for an explanation because how can someone fall out of love? It was inconceivable for you that after all that time, he stopped loving you. He didnât give you an explanation, he just said he didnât love you anymore.Â
However, everything made sense when you found out he was dating a colleague shortly after your breakup. When that colleague joined the company heâs working for, you still remember that he wouldnât stop talking about her. He praised her so much. Until one day, he stopped doing it. But right after, he told you he didnât love you anymore so no need to be a genius to understand he started loving her. Â
It hurt even more.Â
âI also never thought Iâd be one day traveling with someone else than Yoojung,â he adds.Â
You bring your legs against your chest and you look down for a little bit. There are so many questions you want to ask him about his breakup but youâre not sure itâs appropriate.Â
âCan I ask you a question?â you dare to say.Â
Jungkook simply nods while looking at you.Â
âHow did you find out about the cheating?âÂ
Your roommate is taken aback by your question. As you notice the expression on his face, you instantly realize that you crossed a line. Now you regret your question.Â
âSorryâŠâ Before you can even continue your sentence, Jungkook replies to your question.Â
âA couple of months before, we stopped being intimate,â he starts saying while looking down. âEvery time Iâd try to initiate anything, sheâd give me an excuse. Most of the time, itâd be tiredness. Then, we slowly started not to see or even text each other as often.âÂ
His eyes now look up, meeting yours filled with sadness and empathy. The same gaze you gave him when he informed you of his separation.Â
âAt first, I didnât really notice it, but when people started asking me about her, Iâd never be able to give them an answer. So I started to realize something was off.âÂ
You can hear in his voice how it still breaks him.Â
âOne day, I simply went to her place without informing her, and thatâs when I saw the other guy.âÂ
Now, your heart breaks for him. In an act of kindness, you grab his hand and squeeze it. Jungkook looks down at your hands, and you gently stroke the back of his hand with your fingers. From the way he suddenly glances at you, you can tell that the gesture moves him.Â
âThat must have been horrible,â you softly say.Â
The man in front of you simply nods.Â
âThankfully, I didnât see anything that would have destroyed me but you could tell by the way they were looking at each other that they were at least sleeping together. She confessed it afterwards and I left her.âÂ
Definitely, you want to hug this man. Itâs so heartbreaking what he went through. Itâs never easy to find out to have a cheating partner. Even though you never considered Guwon to have cheated on you, you wonder if he didnât. Maybe he kissed his colleague or even went further and left you afterward.Â
âApparently sheâs with that guy now, but I donât care,â he tells you. âI prefer to ignore what sheâs doing now and who sheâs with.âÂ
You couldnât agree more with him. She and Guwon have broken your hearts enough, no need to torture yourselves in knowing what they are doing now.Â
âAll I care is to heal,â he whispers.Â
You caress his hand with your thumb. Although youâre doing it to comfort him, it also has the same effect on you.Â
âLooks like youâre going in the right direction,â you tell him with a little smile. âYou didnât cry.âÂ
Barely a week ago, he wasnât able to say her name without falling apart. Itâs a big step into healing.Â
A very tiny smile spreads across his face when he realizes that youâre right. He didnât cry while talking about the most heartbreaking moment he faced in life.Â
âYouâre right,â he grabs his drink to take a sip. âItâs even better now with the ice,â he totally changes the topic of conversation.Â
You canât blame him, talking about his cheating ex isnât pleasant. Plus, youâre here to try to move on from the terrible things Guwon and Yoojung did.Â
âLet me taste,â Jungkook hands you your drink before you can even bend to get it from the table. âThanks,â you whisper with a little shy smile.Â
Your roommate winks at you as a way to say âyouâre welcomeâ, but oddly, it increases the heat of the room. Very quickly, you drink a bit of the liquor. It instantly cools off a bit the warmth youâre feeling inside you due to Jungkook.Â
The liqueur definitely tastes better with ice. The owner was right. Well, you never doubt it since heâs portuguese and knows his country better than anyone else. Youâre looking right in front of you since youâre feeling Jungkookâs eyes on you. Youâre not brave enough to face him because you know your cheeks will instantly turn red.Â
âYou know,â he starts saying. âFor a long time, I was convinced you and my brother were in love,â you almost choke with your drink when you hear those words. âYouâd always be together, almost acting like a couple, but then I found out you were in a relationship so it changed my perspective,â he adds. âAlso with time, I realized that it was your way to be friends.âÂ
Youâve been friends with Joongki for more or less six years, but only a couple of months later, you got to actually meet Jungkook. Of course, youâd already heard a lot about him since your best friend would mention him a lot, but he was living abroad back then.Â
And well, if youâre a hundred percent honest, you had a crush on Joongki when you met him. How could you not? Joongki is very good-looking, heâs funny, heâs adorable, and, beyond anything else, he has the biggest heart on earth. Then, that crush eventually faded, and you met Guwon so everything changed.Â
However, youâre never going to say anything about this crush, especially to Jungkook.Â
Nevertheless, your reaction intrigues your roommate. Your eyes widen, you take a big sip of the liquor, and you try to hide your face.Â
âYou actually liked my brother,â he points out with evident playfulness in his voice.Â
âNo,â you immediately retort.Â
Obviously, itâs a lie. Youâre trying as much as possible to hide yourself but itâs basically impossible. Jungkook is right next to you.Â
âDonât worry,â he says. âI wonât tell him anything, itâs none of my business.âÂ
You finally look up at him, and for fuckâs sake, he looks stunning. You take another sip. At this pace, your drink will be over in 30 seconds, and youâll be drunk by then since you donât know how strong this liqueur is.Â
âIâm sure he had a crush on you too at first,â he smiles at you.Â
Jungkook gets closer to you, his breath crashing against your neck once heâs very close. Your heart starts acting crazy inside your chest, your heartbeat increasing drastically. Youâre both staring at each other, and his eyes are very dark.Â
âI mean I would too if I was Joongki,â he whispers in your ear.   Â
Fuck, this man manages to cause goosebumps all over your body in a matter of seconds. His eyes look up at you, the mood has completely changed. Itâs not anymore casual, itâs really giving the âi want to kiss youâ vibes. But as you think better about this, it has changed the second it started to rain.Â
His eyes switch from your lips to your eyes a couple of times. Without any doubt, you do the same, you even bite your lower lip. Youâre definitely desperate to kiss each other. Thereâs absolutely no doubt. Â
Still, youâre unsure if you really want this to happen. You enjoy being here with Jungkook and getting to know him better, but once you kiss, everything between you will change forever. He wouldnât simply be your roommate and your best friendâs brother anymore.Â
Nevertheless, thereâs nothing you want more right now.Â
You want to know how it feels to be kissed by him, and how it feels to kiss someone with a lip piercing. Your imagination is going wild at the moment. Â
You clear your throat and take a step back while placing your hands on his chest. âWe canât,â you shake your head. âItâs not a good idea.âÂ
Jungkook nods before simply sitting on the couch as he was before. You take a deep breath, trying to gather yourself after this rather intense moment.
Jungkook stares at the ceiling of the bedroom heâs staying in. His mind keeps repeating the moment he almost kissed you. It was quite clear you wanted it as well, but he still doesnât understand why you push him away. He wonders if itâs maybe too soon for you. Maybe you donât want to kiss someone else three months after your breakup.Â
He sighs. Hopefully, this moment wonât create tension or something like that between you for the rest of your stay. Itâs not what he wanted.
Suddenly, he is pulled out of his reverie when he hears a shy knock on the door. He frowns before standing up to open the door. Heâs greeted by your sleepy face and messy hair. A little smile appears on his face because he canât help but find you adorable.Â
âI canât fall asleep,â you tell him while rubbing your eyes. âCan I sleep with you?âÂ
Well, now that youâre here asking him to sleep here, heâs sure that he didnât ruin anything. Itâs definitely a relief for him.Â
âYes, yes,â he says while opening the door a little wider.Â
Without hesitation, you enter the room and he closes the door behind you. He makes his way to the bed before you lay next to him. At first, you put some distance between you two since youâre both unsure what to do. On top of that, youâre both looking at the ceiling as if youâre scared to look at each other. Jungkook can feel his heart beating fast inside his chest. He has never been this nervous to be around a woman that he likes.Â
âIâm sorry about earlier,â you tell him while turning your face to look at him.Â
Honestly, this surprises him. âAbout what exactly?â Obviously, he knows what youâre referring to but he still wants you to say it out loud.Â
âWhen I pushed you away.âÂ
Jungkook ignores what he can say right now.Â
âDonât be sorry,â those are the only words crossing his mind.Â
Still, you keep talking as if he didnât say anything. âI really wanted to kiss you.â His heart beats even faster now. âBut if we do it, it will change everything between us, and Iâm not sure I want that.âÂ
Well, heâs glad you explained why you pushed him away although you didnât need to. You have your reasons and he can only accept that. Jungkook turns now to his right to finally see your face. You look angelic from this perspective.Â
âWhy so?â he dares to ask.Â
For what feels like an eternity, you donât talk, probably thinking about the proper answer to give him. His heart is still hammering very fast in his chest, nervous about your answer. This silence feels heavy for him, but all he can do is remain patient.Â
âHonestly, I donât really have a reason,â you say when you break the silence. âUp until now, we were simply roommates and you were Joongkiâs brother,â you take a deep breath. âAnd it was fine like that.â Jungkookâs eyes deviate for a split second to your lips while you speak. âHowever, everything is different since we came here. You arenât really a stranger anymore, I got to know you better and to spend good moments with you.âÂ
Jungkook couldnât agree more with you. No matter what, when you go back home, your relationship and dynamic will forever be different. In a good way, though. As you mentioned, youâre no longer strangers now.Â
âIâm not sure Iâm ready for more changes in my life,â you confess while biting your lower lip.Â
But the changes are already happening.Â
âI totally understand you, yn,â he simply answers.Â
Well, the only change Jungkook wants right now is your relationship. Itâs evolving in interesting ways and he doesnât want to hold back this shift between you.Â
"A lot has already happened this past few months,â he adds.Â
For sure, he prefers things would have happened differently but what can he do? This year has been too chaotic. Being here in NazarĂ© right now is the only thing that has been able to calm him down. Just for a moment, he can cut himself off the reality to truly rest and heal.Â
Slowly, you get closer to him. You only stop when he can feel your hot breath crashing against his face. Youâre super super close now. His eyes roam your pretty face, admiring it as much as he can under the light of the night. How could he not notice before how beautiful you are?Â
âBut the more I think about it, the more I get desperate to kiss you,â your words echo in the room. This is as well unexpected for him. âIâm not sure of anything but fuck, I crave nothing more than to feel yourâŠâÂ
Before you can even finish your sentence, your roommate crashes his lips against yours. Youâre caught by surprise at first, but then, you kiss him back with the same passion. Although itâs a passionate kiss, itâs very soft at first. Jungkook doesnât want to rush anything, he wants to enjoy this moment. His left hand moves to your cheek, caressing it.Â
The kiss is so passionate and deep. Jungkook's lips are soft against yours like he is scared to break you as he kisses you. But they feel good on yours, itâs as if they were meant to kiss you.Â
As heâs kissing you, he regrets not having noticed you before. Youâre hot, good-looking, intelligent, and above anything else, a wonderful person. For sure, he was in love with Yoojung, but he should have seen you before.  Â
Jungkook doesnât hesitate one second when you part your lips to let his tongue meet yours. Your tongues meet for an erotic and slow dance. This is intense, but so fucking good.Â
Out of breath, you break the kiss but your roommateâs hand remains on your cheek. You close your eyes briefly, and his eyes stay on you. Even though youâre not kissing anymore, he still can sense your lips on his. Â
Jungkook pushes you against him, your head against his toned chest. He places his head on top of yours after pressing a gentle kiss on your head. Heâs not sure about what will happen from now on, but heâs certain of one thing, he doesnât want to let you go.Â
Shortly after, you both fall asleep in each otherâs arms.
Slowly, you open your eyes. The sun irradiates the room and at first, you close your eyes again as the sun is way too bright.Â
While you move in the bed, you rub your eyes before opening them again. Gradually, you perceive the figure lying in bed next to you. A smile spreads across your face when you realize itâs Jungkook.Â
The man is looking at you with the brightest smile on his face. He seems happier than ever. You havenât seen him like that since his split with his ex-girlfriend. That alone makes you smile even more.Â
âGood morning,â he says.Â
âGood morning to you too,â you reply.Â
For a moment, you remain in silence, looking simply at each other. This right here definitely makes you happy. You donât need anything else. Well, you still want to go watch the impressive waves, but you can stay here a little longer.Â
âHow was your night?â he asks.Â
âGood,â you start saying. âI guess all I needed was a kiss to fall asleep,â the biggest smile appears on his absolutely handsome face.Â
âWell, you should try that more often,â he teasingly says.Â
âFor sure,â you exclaim.Â
Youâre sure that right now, you both look like idiots with the happiest smiles on your faces. You get closer to Jungkook before pressing a gentle peck against his lips. The feeling of the cold metal of his piercing against your lips sends shivers all over your body. Itâs quite special to kiss someone with a lip piercing, itâs a first time for you, but it doesnât change anything about the fact that he kisses like a god. Actually, youâd say that with the piercing it makes the kiss even more intense.Â
The man in front of you presses another peck on your lips before pressing a thousand others more, causing you to giggle. This sound, you havenât heard it in months, and youâre grateful Jungkook is responsible for it. Â
Then, the kisses move to your cheeks, your forehead, your jaw, the corner of your lips, and finally, they start to descend to your neck. You can feel his round nose pressed against your neck as his lips kiss your skin. Instantly, your hands move to his hair to play with it. A very soft and barely audible moan escapes your lips.Â
This jovial and playful moment has turned into a very heated one.Â
Jungkookâs lips keep going down, dangerously getting closer to your cleavage. Your breath is getting heavier, your heart beating faster, and your eyes fluttering shut. As he gets closer and closer, soft moans leave your lips, indicating to Joongkiâs brother that heâs doing everything well. Â
Before he even reaches your breasts, he retreats to take a look at your pretty face. When you feel the cold air brushing against your skin, you open your eyes to watch him. His teeth are now playing with the metal ring on his lips while his eyes are clearly devouring you. Dam, this is turning you on.Â
âDo we keep going?âÂ
Youâre about to answer when suddenly, his phone starts buzzing. Someone is trying to call him. He turns around to check whoâs calling him.Â
âItâs Joongki,â he says before answering.Â
Jungkook sits on the bed, and you do exactly the same. The call doesnât last long, your roommate barely talks, itâs mostly your best friend talking, you can hear it. Once he puts his phone down, he looks at you.Â
âHe tried to call you, but since you werenât answering, he was getting worried,â he tells you.Â
You only nod. âMaybe I should go call him,â you say.Â
âWell,â Jungkook says as his face gets closer to yours once more. âMaybe you could call him later,â he teasingly says. âHe interrupted something.âÂ
A smile appears on your face before you kiss him with evident passion. For sure, your best friend interrupted something, and he can wait because youâre slowly but surely getting desperate for his brother.Â
âHe can probably wait a little bit longer,â you whisper against his lips.Â
Your teeth bite his lower lip, causing him to moan. That sound alone makes you grow wetter inside your panties. His hands move down to your waist, and before you can even comprehend, they are pushing your pajama pants down your legs.Â
Once they are at your ankle, his lips hungrily kiss you. Youâre definitely desperate for this man. You want more. You donât simply want to be kissed by this man. You want him to rail the shit out of you. Hopefully, heâs good in bed.Â
While eagerly kissing each other, you lay down in bed. Jungkook is now hovering over you, his mouth still on yours. By reflex, your legs open to welcome him after removing your pants with your feet. He presses his hips against yours, his growing bulge now against your wet core. That sensation alone makes you moan.Â
Teasingly, he slowly rolls his hips against yours, but he doesnât stop kissing you as a desperate man. You hold his pajama shirt firmly as you moan against his lips. Without any doubt, your panties are getting soaked. Jungkook is fucking you when youâre still fully clothed.Â
His lips finally set free from yours so he can rest his forehead against yours. His lusty eyes stare deep into yours which causes you to moan. Your walls clench around emptiness, but youâre slowly getting desperate to feel something inside you.Â
Jungkookâs hips stop moving only for him to speak. âSit on my face,â he says. âBut first, remove your underwear, angel,â he adds.Â
No need to be a genius to understand that he wants to eat you out while you sit on his face. Itâs something you never tried before so youâre not sure how this is supposed to go. However, you desire nothing more than being eaten out by this man so you do as he says so.Â
In a matter of seconds, you throw your underwear onto the floor. Jungkook moves to be now lying down in bed with an eager smile on his face. He bites his lower lip when he sees your core.Â
âIâve never done that before,â you confess when you get closer to him.Â
âOkay,â he nods. âAll you have to do is sit on my face and enjoy the ride, love,â he tells you.Â
The little cute nicknames make your heart flutter. Â
You place yourself over his head, your heart pounding fast. You feel a bit shy to have your pussy on full display on his face.Â
âNice,â he tells you. âNow, bring yourself closer to my face,â you do as he says so, his hands grabbing your thighs to guide you down against his face. âPerfect,â his hot breath tickles your core which makes you move a tiny bit.Â
The sweet scent of your arousal makes him hungry, causing him to lick his lips. âYour cunt smells so good, yn,â he whispers against your core.Â
His nose brushes against your core, a small moan leaving your lips at the feeling. As he hears the barely audible moan, he deliberately breathes against your throbbing core, the cool air sending shivers down your spine. Slowly, you grow wetter which gives him more juices to lap. A smirk grows on his face when he notices it. Â
Before you can even process what is happening, he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking at it. The coldness of his lip piercing and the tickling of his nose on your core instantly send goosebumps throughout your entire body. Little moans leave your lips while he starts to torture you with his mouth. It surprises you how cold his piercing is.Â
This is by far the best oral sex experience youâve ever had. First of all, nobody else has ever eaten you out like that. And on top of that, youâre wondering how on earth youâve never done it this way. In this position, it feels like you can sense everything even more.Â
Automatically, you bury your hand in Jungkookâs hair, pulling it as he laps your sensitive clit with his tongue. A groan rumbles from his chest, the sound echoing against your skin. You close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of having his nose in your core. He makes sure to take his time as he wants you to grow wetter and wetter, he doesnât want to rush things because he wants you two to enjoy this moment.Â
After a little while, he buries his tongue in your hole, causing an explosion of fireworks inside you. The man laps at your arousal as if his life was at stake. His eyes glance up at you, enjoying the way your body is contorting with delight. An evil smirk appears on his face while he keeps lapping at your juices. Your back arches, causing you to push your pussy closer to his mouth, and a trail of moans escapes your pretty lips.Â
âSo pretty,â Jungkook mutters against your core.Â
Naturally, you start rolling your hips over his head, your hand running and pushing your hair back in order to not stick against your face as you start to sweat. The moans get louder as the wave of pleasure begins to strongly build within your lower stomach, his ears hissing at the sweet but loud sounds.  Â
His eyes glance down with marvel at your core. Everything about you is extremely wonderful.Â
Jungkook senses the orgasm building stronger inside you at an extremely fast pace. Your body is moving more and more, your walls are clenching way too much, and your moans are also getting high-pitched. The man starts to suck harder on your core to make you come all over his face. Thatâs all he wishes for right now. Â
Your free hand goes to the headboard of the bed to hold yourself onto something. The man below you is sucking and lapping every single drop of your arousal, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. Itâs a matter of seconds before you come undone all over his face.Â
âJungkook,â you mutter as your hips desperately roll over his face.Â
The man underneath you detaches his mouth when your legs start shaking, indicating that your orgasm is finally hitting you intensely. His name leaves your mouth when the wave of pleasure explodes inside you, your back arching even more, and you close your eyes to enjoy every second of it.Â
Your arousal leaks over his pretty lips while he watches with marvel at the way you come over his face. This man is without any doubt very skilled with his mouth and tongue. Not only does he kiss well, but he also knows how to bring pleasure.Â
Jungkook moves under you, your core now pressed against his covered chest. It takes you a moment to come down from your high, he can even feel your walls clenching against his toned chest. His hands caress your hips, trying to bring you comfort as you come down. His eyes never leave your pretty face.Â
He swears he has never seen any prettier woman.Â
His hands are caressing your thighs as he admires you. Your cheeks are red, your hair is a complete mess, and your pretty lips are swollen from the intense making out that happened minutes ago.Â
When you realize that youâre dirtying his pajama with your arousal, you stand up but his strong hands firmly hold you tight against him. âWhat are you doing?â he asks with obvious confusion.Â
âIâm dirtying your pajamas,â you answer.Â
âDonât worry about that, angel,â he winks at you.Â
Since you donât want to make his pajamas dirtier and you want to give him pleasure, you move your body down on his. This time around, he realizes what youâre about to do. The simple thought of feeling your hand around him makes him grow harder.Â
Without an ounce of hesitation, you push down his pajamas pants with his underwear. He raises his hips to help you out, and you throw them on the floor. Once his cock is freed, it slaps against his shirt. Â
Your eyes instantly glance down at the beast between his legs. He is massive. Even massive is probably an understatement. For sure, he holds the record for the biggest dick youâve ever seen. In a matter of seconds, Jungkook takes the last piece of clothing off his body to be fully naked in front of you.Â
You patiently wait for him to lay back on the bed so you can place yourself in between his toned legs, your hands running up and down his thighs. You bite your lips as youâre watching him getting naked. His body is very toned. His chest is broad as fuck, and his arm is fully covered in tattoos. This pretty much gives bad-boy vibes. Thankfully, you know that he isnât one. Well, at least, he doesnât seem to be one. Â
You also remove your top in order to be fully naked as well. Itâs not as sexy as the way he removed his shirt, but youâre now naked together.Â
âCan I touch you?â you ask him, your eyes glancing up to meet his. Â
With his eyes locked with yours, he nods. Heâs completely desperate to feel your fingers around him. Since youâre equally desperate to please him, you wrap your hand around the base of his dick.Â
His head is red, precum running down his length and over that prominent vein that lines it. You rub your thumb over the tip before going down on his shaft, spreading his arousal all over him. A deep moan escapes his lips as your hands finally touch him, his head falling completely on the pillow.      Â
âDamn, angel,â he growls, âyouâre touching me so fucking perfectly.âÂ
A smile appears on your face at his words. Based on your ex words, you are very skilled with your hands so you hope to provide a lot of pleasure to Jungkook. You want to reward him with the same pleasure he granted you with his mouth. Â
Slowly, you start pumping him, your hand gliding up and down his length. A trail of groans leaves his lips while you pump him nice and slow. Every time your hand reaches the base, Jungkook shivers, loving how youâre touching him.Â
As you pump his massive length with your hands, you never stop glancing at him. Thereâs nothing more rewarding than seeing him melting in your hands.
Itâs absolutely incredible to think that youâre sharing such an intimate moment. Barely a week ago it was inconceivable that youâd be here with him. So, this alone is a surprise. Yesterday night, while you were turning in your bed, you were only thinking about the kiss he almost gave you. And now, youâre basically having sex.Â
Thatâs incredible. Â
After a little while, you dip down to kiss the head of his cock, causing deeper and louder moans to leave his mouth. You lick his tip, his precum coating your tongue before you wrap your mouth entirely around his cock to fully sink down on his length.Â
âShit, yn,â he groans, loving the warmth of your mouth around him.Â
He swears that heâs about to fall apart, painting your throat white with his seed. For a little while, your head bobs up and down his length, your tongue twirling along to try to satisfy him as much as possible. Your roommate closes his eyes while he lets his pleasure overwhelm him.Â
When he opens his eyes, heâs graced with your filthy eyes staring up at him. He never knew that he desperately needed to see you looking at him like that. That sight alone makes him bust right there, his hot seed filling that pretty mouth of yours. You swallow every single drop of his hot cum, but your eyes never leave his face as he groans loudly. Â
Jungkook looks incredibly hot when he has an orgasm.Â
Slowly, he comes down from his high, your mouth leaving his cock to just watch him being completely overwhelmed with his orgasm. He looks like an absolute angel but clearly, an angel that seems to have had his cock sucked. His hair is already messy, and his lips are all wet with your arousal, which honestly looks pretty good on him.Â
âWould you want to keep going?â he asks with his heavy breathing.Â
The simple fact that he raises the question melts your heart. Your ex never did that before. Once youâd start, he would just keep going without checking if youâd want to stop or not. Well, obviously, you never wanted him to stop. But now, you wished he could have asked it.Â
Itâs pretty obvious you want more but he still wants to make sure you want it. Heâs not going to force you to do anything, he has never been like that. After you pushed him away yesterday, he honestly expected you to do the same as things started to get steamy.Â
You crawl over his body so both your faces are close. For a brief moment, you just glance at each other. You bend down, your face getting closer to his ear, âyes, I want it,â you whisper with a smile on your face.Â
Jungkook bites his lower lip, heâs having goosebumps all over his body. âI didnât bring any condom,â he informs you. âI wasnât expecting this to happen.âÂ
If he knew beforehand that youâd have sex, he would have bought a hundred condoms. He would have used all your free time to fuck you senseless. But this is highly unexpected.Â
âDonât worry,â you say. âI have a vaginal ring.âÂ
For years, youâve been trying different birth control. At first, it was the pill, but very quickly you changed to the vaginal ring since it felt better than the pill. Â
You press a sweet kiss on his lips. A sincere smile grows on his face, heâs so happy to be here today with you. With your hands, you grab his little monster before brushing it against your pussy. A whimper leaves his lips while he shuts his eyes close. Slowly, you sink down onto his cock.Â
A deep moan leaves your mouth as his massive dick stretches you out, your hands falling on his chest to balance yourself. His large hands find their way to your waist, caressing your soft skin while his doe eyes filled with lust look into yours. Both of you groan as he slowly pushes his long and thick cock deeper inside you.
âYouâre so big,â you whisper.Â
âIf itâs too big, we can stop,â he proposes.Â
âEeeh,â you slap his chest. âThereâs no way we stop here, Jungkook.âÂ
Jungkook giggles at your words, his face lighting up when he does so. Heâs incredibly beautiful when heâs smiling.  Â
You sit on his lap with his cock almost completely inside you, your eyes looking down at him with a bright smile on your face. Jungkook licks his lips, loving to have this beautiful sight in front of him. At this precise moment, heâs wondering why you both lost your time with your exes. This is a hundred times better than all the times he had sex with his ex, and itâs only the beginning.  Â
Very slowly, you start rolling your hips, causing small whimpers to leave his lips. His eyes never leave you as he wishes you to see him starting to melt down under your slow torture.Â
âYouâre riding me like a pro, yn,â he compliments you, letting you also know that youâre doing it right.Â
âThanks,â you sincerely say.Â
Riding your ex is something you wouldnât do that often, but youâd enjoy it when it happened.Â
âBut,â he starts saying. âI donât want this to be any slow.â His hands hold your hips tightly allowing him to turn both your bodies to have you now under him.
âEeeeh,â you say as he places you under him. Â
His lips find yours for another kiss, the taste of your juice being all over his soft lips while he can taste a bit of his cum inside your mouth. Â
âIâm gonna wreck you so bad,â he whispers against your lips. Your walls clench around his cock, causing him to moan at the end of his sentence.Â
âThen, do it,â you reply. âRuin me.â  Â
Jungkook slowly pushes back, leaving only the tip of his cock inside you. His eyes never leave your figure, watching you with delight. He brutally pushes his cock fully inside you, a loud moan leaving your lips. For a little while, he doesn't move, hovering over you before his lips meet yours again for a sloppy kiss.Â
âWill you stay like that forever?â you cock an eyebrow.Â
âLooks like someone is impatient,â he chuckles.Â
For a second, his eyes get lost in your body, groaning as he watches himself buried deep inside you. Youâre completely intoxicated by the feeling of him stretching your walls.Â
Without wasting any more time, he pulls back brutally before slamming himself back into you. He leans closer again before licking the spot just under your ear. His hands slowly travel down your body to rest on your hips while his hips slowly thrust into you. The slick sound of your pussy soaking his cock as well as your moans quickly fill the bedroom.Â
âDamn,â you manage to say. âYou really know how to use that cock.âÂ
Sex with your ex was totally different. Heâd always prefer to do things nice and slow, it would never be rough. He didnât like it at all. Honestly, since you didnât experience much before him, it was fine for you. You enjoyed it as well.Â
However, now that youâre being fucked by Jungkook, you realize that a bit of roughness can be better.Â
Jungkook chuckles at your words. âOf course I do,â he whispers in your ear. âAfter all, I ainât called the best man in bed for nothing.âÂ
You roll your eyes. This man seems to have quite a big ego. For sure, you can agree so far with that title †most probably a self-given title †but you wonât say it.   Â
The feeling of his cock filling you up, his hips hitting against yours with every thrust he makes causes sparks of pleasure to shoot throughout your body, your arousal dripping from your core and creaming his covered cock. He licks his lips as he notices the sticky mess youâre causing.Â
âYouâre making such a mess, yn,â he growls. Â
His cock is buried deep inside you, brushing against your walls which only causes you to moan even louder. You grip the sheets as hard as possible to steady yourself from Jungkookâs hard thrusts.Â
âAnd youâre responsible for that mess,â you teasingly say although youâre completely lost in your euphoric state.Â
âYouâre a fucking tease, yn,â he hisses. âNever imagined you like that.âÂ
âShould have fucked me sooner to find it out,â you wink at him.Â
Honestly, youâre even surprising yourself by being such a tease. With your ex, youâd talk in bed but it wouldnât be like this. With Jungkook, you simply canât help yourself, heâs literally giving you everything to tease him.Â
âThatâs my biggest regret right now, angel,â he manages to say in between his moans.Â
His hands press harder into your skin when he feels your walls tighten around him. Every time he pushes his hips back, he watches with delight the way his cock is completely covered with your arousal. Nothing drives him crazier than seeing it.Â
His hands move on your body, grabbing your breasts and squeezing them to make you moan with desire before his fingers start playing with your nipples. Moans flood out of your mouth as he tortures your body like no one else. Â
âDamn, Jungkook,â you say.Â
His thrusts become again slow and harsh while his fingers on your nipples are pushing you closer and closer to the edge. This man is without any doubt very skilled when it comes to sex. Fuck, you wished you would have sex sooner. Â
Gradually, Jungkook resumes to thrust hard into you, and your moans follow his harsh movements as they get louder and louder. Your walls suck his cock as he slams his hips into you harshly. His hands can feel the way your body quivers with each thrust, the way youâre losing yourself further into pleasure.Â
âFuck,â he groans when he feels the warmth of your walls wrapping tighter around him. âYour cunt is clenching so hard, angel.âÂ
As you glance up at him, you canât help but find him extremely attractive. His eyes stare down at you with so much passion and desire as his tongue licks his lower lips. He keeps growling your name, thrusting into you with more urgency. Quickly enough, you sense inside your stomach the powerful feeling of pleasure growing. This is becoming overwhelming.Â
âGonna come so hard,â you tell him.Â
His fingers pinch your nipples while his cock twitches inside of you at your words, a low groan rumbling in his chest. Â
âDonât hold back, angel.â
Since he wants to torture you more and more as you get closer to your orgasm, one of his hands slowly goes down on your body, passing your stomach, and landing on your throbbing clit. His fingers start to rub your sensitive spot as his cock keeps slamming roughly inside you.Â
âJungkook,â you almost scream in surprise.Â
His fingers on your clit are what you need for your orgasm to explode intensely, making you come hard around him. Your walls squeeze him over and over again while you come all over him.Â
While youâre completely euphoric from your orgasm, he speeds up the pace of his hips slamming into you, wanting to chase his own high. The coil in his lower stomach tightens inside of him, and it completely clouds his thoughts.Â
Breathy whines escape his pretty lips as he looks down at the mess you made. A loud groan leaves his mouth when his orgasm hits him hard, your name rolling out of his tongue. His eyes roll back with pleasure as his body tenses up and releases his load inside you, his semen painting your walls white.
Jungkook collapses over you, both your bodies covered in sweat. While you both come down from your high, you simply enjoy this proximity. You wrap your arms around his body to hold him tightly against you. Nobody talks. The room is only filled with your heavy breathing while you caress his back.Â
This is a fantastic way to start the day. After this steamy session, for sure, your day is only going to be amazing. Hot sex with Jungkook in NazarĂ© is a combo you never thought you needed.Â
However, once you are calmer, Jungkook stands up with a smile on his face. He doesnât need to say anything else for you to understand that there will be a round 2. Fuck, this man has an impressive stamina.  Â
âOn your fours, angel,â he growls.  Â
âSo now, itâs doggy style,â you say as you follow his order, positioning yourself on your hands and knees but you make sure that your ass and pussy are on full display to him.Â
Jungkook gets closer to you. âMy favorite position ever,â he whispers against your ear.Â
Your roommate takes a step back, his hand holding his hard dick to stroke it a bit as he places himself behind you. His tongue licks his lips while his eyes are glued to your pussy. Slowly, you press your chest against the mattress to give him more visibility to your wet core. You can still feel inside you his release.Â
Jungkookâs hand touch your pussy to gently touch it. âStill fucking wet,â he mumbles but you can hear it.Â
âBecause youâre fucking me senseless,â you reply, and you moan when he slaps your pussy. Fuck, youâll have an orgasm before heâll even be inside you. Â
âThatâs the whole point of what weâre doing,â he grabs your right arm to pin it behind your back, slowly shoving his cock into you again.Â
You whine, your teeth biting your lower lip as he resumes to pound into you again. He slowly rolls his hips into your pussy.Â
âShit, Iâm not going to last long,â he grunts.Â
He leans down, his right hand going down from your waist to your thighs. His fingers brush against your clit, making you moan a bit louder, and they pinch your clit while you bite harder on your lower lip. The man behind you never ceases to thrust into you harshly, making you see stars.Â
Every muscle of your body tenses as Jungkook abuses both your clit and pussy. But you decide to torture him a bit as well, itâd be only fun for him to torture you. You clench your walls around him, making him groan louder and smirk
âYouâre such a fucking tease,â he moans lustfully as he gives you a harsher thrust. Â
Youâre unable to reply since Jungkook has decided to increase his pace. His hips slam into yours ruthlessly which causes the whole bed to shake under your bodies. Your moans are louder and louder as his cock hits all your sweet spots. The pleasure is slowly but surely growing strongly inside you, and you try as hard as possible to hold your orgasm.Â
âFuck, Iâm going to come,â Jungkook whimpers. Â
The second the words leave his mouth, he fills you with his cum and he holds your hips tightly while he gives you small harsh thrusts. Your name rolls out of his tongue, and you decide to let go of your orgasm. Thereâs no point in holding back. Your walls squeeze him hard when your orgasm hits you once more, your arousal leaking all over his cock.    Â
Jungkook pulls out of you before he lays down next to you on the bed. You come closer to him, his arm wrapping around you to hold you tight against him. None of you speaks while you both catch your breaths.Â
âI guess now you can call my brother,â his lips press a gentle kiss on top of your head.
A little chuckle leaves your lips at his words. âLet me first catch my breath,â you tell him. âIâm sure heâll understand right away what we did.âÂ
âWell, I donât mind him knowing it,â Jungkook replies while doing circles in your back with his fingers.Â
âBut Iâm convinced he doesnât want to,â you look up at him. âPersonally, I wouldnât want to know that my brother fucked my best friend.âÂ
Jungkook giggles before pressing a gentle kiss on your lips.Â
Joongki will probably know one day what happened here, but you donât want him to know it just yet. Youâre not sure how heâll react, and honestly, youâre a bit scared of his reaction. Will he hate you for sleeping with his brother? Probably not, but it still would be weird to say to your best friend that his brother slept with you.Â
After an hour in bed talking about random things, you and Jungkook decide to leave the apartment and go admire the waves again. After all, youâre here for that.Â
Usually, youâd directly go to the top of the sturdy rock since the waves are more impressive from there. But today, you decide to go to the beach. They are less massive, but still, you can admire them from another point of view.Â
Youâre sitting at the edge of the sidewalk, right where the sand begins. The sea isnât that far from you so you really have a beautiful view from where you are. The sea seems more furious than yesterday so Jungkook knows you wonât stay long here before going to the top of the massive rock.Â
âToday, the sea is creating bigger waves,â you tell Jungkook. âItâs quite impressive.âÂ
He turns his head to look at you. In all honesty, when you moved in with him five years ago, he barely noticed you. He had just come back from New Zealand where he lived for two years. His relationship with Yoojung was starting and his mind was definitely somewhere else. You were simply the best friend of his brother. Nothing more.Â
However, today, he regrets he didnât really look at you back then. It would have probably spared him a heartbreak. But, at the end of the day, isnât it prettier that things between you start here in NazarĂ©, a place you both wanted to visit?Â
Of course, you still have to figure out things between you. Obviously, you like each other so youâll have to see what happens after this trip. Jungkook won't force you to do anything. If you donât want to give a shot to whatever is going on between you, heâll respect your choice.Â
You turn your face to look at Jungkook, offering him a smile when you notice that heâs already looking at you.Â
âWhat do you think will happen after this trip?â Jungkook asks you.Â
You shrug. âIâm not sure,â you say at first. âBut if youâd like, we could continue what started here.âÂ
Now, heâs the one smiling, and heâs smiling like an idiot, heâs aware of that.Â
âIâd love to,â he says with the brightest smile on his face.Â
Your face gets closer to him and Jungkook breaks the space between your faces to kiss you gently. This is undoubtedly the biggest surprise this trip offered him. After the kiss, you simply lay your head on his shoulder while you keep admiring the beauty of the sea. NazarĂ©, the town where you fell in love with each other.Â
#bts#bts imagine#bts fanfic#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#bts angst#jungkook angst#bts smut#jungkook smut#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#effet mer#spideyjimin
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seungcheol makes you squirt (+18, mdni)
WARNINGS: somnophilia w/ consent, est relationship, daddy!cheol, (reader calls him daddy twice?) dom!cheol, sub!reader, unprotected sex, squirting, pet names, slight degradation, orgasm denial, not comfy = donât read!!
seungcheol is determined to make you fall apart tonight.
after making you squirt a few nights prior, he had a deep carnal desire to see you break apart again and squirt around his cock, his fingersâanything.
he loves when you lose all inhibitions when it comes to himâand he dwells on the fact that heâs the only one who can drive you to that point.
knowing how sleepiness makes you enter a new realm of highâgiving up control, all senses heightened, he waits til youâre fast asleep.
entering your shared bedroom, his eyes fall upon your sleeping figure and his heart swells at your peaceful state. his needy cock follows suit, staring to swell at the thoughts of what heâs about to do to you.
pulling away the edge of your comforter, his mouth waters at your cute little nightie, so fuckinâ adorable. he traces the pink lace hem of your satin shorts, and admires the way the edges rides up your pretty ass as you lay on ur side.
gently flipping you on your back, seungcheol kisses your tummy, before pulling down the thin material, only to be met with your bare cunt. your scent hits him in the face and he groans at how sweet you smell.
looking back at your pretty face, he notices youâre still sound asleepâprobably exhausted from the long day of work. he takes one big obscene slurp up your cunt, stopping at your clit, twirling it around with the tip of his tongue. closing his eyes, he savours the moment, sucking in the bundle of nerves and gently tugging on it with his teeth.
seungcheol notices how your juices are starting to gush from the bottom and smirks knowingly. testing the waters, he inserts a finger in slowlyâand it slides in so smoothly.
knowing your favourite combination, he continues to suck and play with your clit as his fingers work non-stop, massaging your soft walls. he loves the way your cunt remembers him, still sucking him in when youâre in a deep slumber.
he hears a soft whimper from above and his eyes trace over your features. his poor baby, probably thinking sheâs having an erotic little dream about him.
your breath quickens, and seungcheol recognises the telltale signs of your incoming orgasm thatâs about to hit you. he stills his fingers in you, focusing on curling his knuckles up quickly, to stimulate your g-spot, and at the same sucking on your engorged clit like his life depended on it.
a few quick breaths before you start to come undone all over his fingers and tongue. your chest heaves up and down, and small trickles of sweat start to form on your hairline.
he removes his fingers, not wanting to waste any drop of your precious cum, he sucks his own finger dry, growing harder at the taste of you.
seungcheol gets his cock ready, pumping it a few times, teasing his own slit, letting his pre-cum glisten on his thick head. he groans. he could get off simply at the sight of you laying so cutely in front of him.
instead, he drags the tip across your little cunt, coating his cock with your juices before slowly entering you. itâs only when he bottoms out that you start to stir awake.
âcheollie?â you rub your eyes, propping your elbows up to get a clearer picture and grasp on what was happening.
âshh baby, itâs okay, itâs okay, just wanted to play with your pretty pussy. couldnât help myself,â he starts to move, watching your limp body too tired to move as he wrecks that small cunt of yours.
ânngh, cheolâŠ.â you whine, feeling all senses stimulated, and extremely sensitive though you didnât know why. it took you a while to get out of that foggy-too-tired-to-comprehend-anything state, but you loved the inebriated feeling that came with it. the immense pleasure causing you to space outâyou couldnât think about anything but his cock.
âyes baby, iâm here,â cheol knows how youâre feeling. he knows how the blitzed feeling makes you cum even faster, and he is in fact very determined to see you squirt for himâbecause of himâon your pretty sheets that you guys picked out together.
his overwhelming feelings of possessiveness take over as he hovers over you with your legs hung over his big shoulders. âmy cute baby, look at you so strung out, but clenching me so fuckinâ tight,â
your eyes roll back, barely being able to keep them open, every glimpse of cheol you catch; you savour. his dark eyes never leaving you, his plump lips parted, letting groans and grunts escape him.
âsâgood daddy, feels so gooood,â you whine out repeatedly, that being seemingly all you know what to say.
âmm my baby, donât got a thing in your head right now huh, just how good daddyâs cock making you feel?â he feels you clenching even tighter and this time, when he feels your second wave of orgasm approaching, he stops, and pulls out his creamed cock.
a broken cry escapes you, and he flips you around, pulling your hips up while pushing your back to make you arch further. you turn your head to the side, feeling frustrated that your orgasm got stolen right in front of you; you cry out, begging for him to just continue fucking you already.
âi know you like it when i do that baby, donât go throwing a tantrum on me now,â he grabs hold of your hair and gathers them into a makeshift ponytail as he slides his cock back into your cunt.
pulling on your ponytail, he finds a pace that makes him cock his head back, string of curses finding their way on his lips and a consistent line of groans escaping at each slapping of cheeks against him.
your jaw slacks, and your eyes shut as you feel like youâre being transported into a different realm again.
âch-cheol, daddyâŠâ all you can do is repeat his name like a mantra, thanking him for fucking you so good.
âthatâs right, love it when i have you all dumb on my cock, iâm all your pretty little head is filled with,â
still gripping your ponytail tight, he reaches down to rub at your sensitive clit, which has been begging to be touchedâinsatiable, that one. his rough finger pads make friction with your wet and slippery bud and you scream with whatever energy is still left in you.
âwanna cum cheol, gonna cumâsâtoo fucking good i-i canât,â
âhold it. good girls cum when theyâre told to, and youâre my good girl arenât you,â he says that, but his fingers rub faster and faster, switching between figure 8âs and tight little circles which makes you dizzy.
âi-i am but, your fingers,â you beg.
when seungcheol feels like heâs pushed you to your limit, he orders you to stimulate yourself even more.
âplay with your tits for me baby, want all your senses to be stimulated for me,â and your hands immediately reaches under your nightie top, fingers playing with your sensitive nipplesâone pinch and you cry out another beg.
âplease daddy, i need to cum,â you decide to play your cards carefully. âwanna cum around your cock cheol, need to milk your cock dry,â knowing that cheol always needs you to cum before him.
âyeah baby? wanna milk me dry? let me fill you up so fuckinâ full?â cheol gives in, and puts more pressure onto your poor clit.
âfuck baby, cum around daddyâs cock, let me see you claim this cock as yours baby,â
your head goes empty as you feel hot flashes throughout your body, before you jerk forward onto your hands, and you feel spurts of liquid shooting out of you, and you feel a long coil of rope unravel out your lower abdomen as you continue jerking.
âfuuuuuuck, thatâs a good girl, let it all out for me baby,â cheol moans at the sight of you squirting for almost a hot minute, making a mess on the pretty sheets, some landing on his cock which heâs desperately pumping as he watches like itâs the best thing heâs ever seen.
he joins you in that moment of ecstasy as he shoots his own serving of hot cum onto your pretty ass.
he sighs, coming down from his highâand activated his after care mode immediately, getting warm towels to clean you up, with a new set of nighties for you to put on after your now needed shower.
he leaves trails of kisses everywhere. âyou did so good for me baby, sorry to wake you up, i know youâve had a long day,â a small pout makes way to his pretty cherry lips you love so much, and you giggle.
âi told you cheollie, i love nothing more than to wake up with a little surprise like that,â you pull him down to kiss him, and he swoops you up to carry you to the hot bath heâs left to finish cleaning you up.
đ«Š hi guys!!!! i miss cheol so much,, this is me expressing how much i miss daddy cheol, not a day goes by without a thought of him wrecking me. oke i hope yall liked this,, leave a like/cmt/rb if u did đ MUAH XOXO đ
#seungcheol smut#seungcheol#seungcheol fics#seventeen smut#scoups smut#seungcheol scenarios#seungcheol fluff#scoups scenarios#scoups x reader#scoups fics#scoups fluff#scoups fanfic#seungcheol drabbles#seungcheol x reader#seventeen drabbles#seungcheol imagines#seungcheol x you#seungcheol fic#scoups headcanons#choi seungcheol
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đđđ đđđđđđđđ đđđ
:à°Âš â± đđđđđđđđđđ : kyojuro rengoku, tengen uzui & wives, poly obamitsu, tanjiro kamado, inosuke hashibira, zenitsu agatsuma.
:à°Âš â± đđđđđđđ đđđđđđđđ : sfw, gn!reader, big spoon coded reader cus i said so, wholesome fluff, cuddling n snuggling, polyamory (tengen & obamitsu's parts), kamaboko trio aged up as per usual.
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â A teddy bear in the shape of a man and enthusiastic to be used as one! As a Hashira, Kyojuro is often kept away for days and weeks at a time, so he makes the most of every moment you spend together.
â Kyojuro's not happy unless he's got his arms full of his favorite person, so you can expect him to seek you out the moment he arrives home.
â If youâre a civilian and he finds you in the kitchen, heâll drape himself over you from behind, nuzzling his face into your neck and lavishing it with smiling kisses, rugged hands settling on your hips.
â Kyojuro wants to be cuddled to sleep and truly canât bear to be parted from you, no matter how swelteringly hot it gets in the summer months. And if he has obligations, he tries to wake up a little early so he can have a few minutes of cuddle time with you before heâs whisked away. You donât even have to be awake for it, he just wants to hold you for a little while <3
â He started out as a big spoon but converted into a little spoon when he discovered what it felt like to be properly held. Heâs no more content than he is when heâs got his back pressed to your chest and youâve curled yourself around his broad frame.Â
â He likes it best when you rub his belly when his eyes are too big for his stomach, always easing a bit of the discomfort <3
â Kyojuro is comfy to lay on, with two perfect pillows for you to rest your head on (his pecs <3). His muscles are quite soft when relaxed, and the way his heart stutters when your cheek rests on it is so cute.
â Kyojuro feels safe in your presence so heâs very prone to falling asleep on your shoulder or with his head in your lap. With his workload and inconsistent sleep schedule, heâs often a cuddle session away from nodding off. Particularly so when you start playing with his flaxen hair, itâs like his off-switch đ€
â Heâs a bit of an oversized lapdog andâll climb into your lap every chance he gets. As far as heâs concerned, thatâs his seat. It looks funny to outsiders if heâs bigger than you, but he hardly cares, all too eager to get all comfy in your lap and tell you about his day.
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â Big, tough man too cool to cuddle? No sir. Tengen is a touchy lover and raises a brow when you try to sit anywhere other than his lap, like why aren't you in your assigned seat? đ€š
â Pulls you flush against his side every chance he gets, wrapping a heavy arm around your shoulders. You often get a companion wet kiss to the cheek to boot just to see you scrunch your face up and wipe his spit off your cheek >:(
â His wives are just like himâ Suma especially who practically hangs off of you with those big doe eyes, clinging onto your arm during outings as a group. Between Tengen and Suma, your hands will never be lonely and you'll certainly never be cold. Those two are space heaters and can't keep their hands off their partners to save their lives.
â Makio is easily flustered by affection but ultimately craves it, even if getting her to admit it is like pulling teeth. A hopeless romantic at heart <3 Sheâs a big spoon and overheats easily, so she prefers to linger on the edges of the cuddle piles. Sheâll smack your thigh if you move around too much with an annoyed grumble. She can be such a meanie sometimes đ
â Hinatsuru doesnât mind holding or being held, she just wants to be close to you. Though generally more soft-spoken than Makio, Tengen, and Suma, her affectionate touch translates her love for her partners so clearly. Often rubs soothing circles over your back, rests a comforting hand on your arm, and pets your hair while you cuddle.
â Tengen likes to talk when you cuddle, prattling on about his or your day while rubbing your side or back mindlessly. Most times, he talks you to sleep or vice versa, considering what a busy guy he is before retirement. Sometimes youâll get caught up in deep conversations about your past lives, silly theories, or ping-pong flirtatious banter until you can barely keep your eyes open.
â Tengen likes it most when you and the wives crawl right on top of him, all to eager to be living furniture for his beautiful spouses while you all gossip and giggle to each other.
đđđđđđ đđđđđ & đđđđđđđ đđđđđđđ
â Dare I say the clingiest partners ever?
â Obanai hesitates where as Mitsuri openly throws herself into your arms at every opportunity. Just be patient and take things slow and he'll follow Mitsuri's example. Itâs a subtle shift, maybe he leans his head on your shoulder to test the waters, unable to meet your eyes. He melts if you wrap an arm around his shoulders and rub his arm, eyelids drooping as he relaxes further against you.
â Mitsuri is a cuddle bug in every sense of the word, like a tiny, purring kitty rubbing its body against your legs when you come near. You swear she chirps like one too, especially when her affections are met with a head pat or tender kiss.
â Obanai wonât say it, but he likes it when heâs in the middle, tucked safely between his two favorite people. The three of you spend many long hours this way, just relaxing in each other's embrace before your obligations call you away from the cuddle puddleâ with no shortage of complaints from your lovers (Obanaiâs longing wistful look as you go is just as painful as Mitsuriâs whines)
â Their clinginess only worsens as your relationship progresses, Iâm afraid đ Obanai has a death grip comparable to a boa constrictor, especially when heâs in a deep sleep.
â I have a vivid image in my mind of Mitsuri having to use her insane strength to pry his arms off of you and scooch herself in your place so you can pee in the middle of the night, barely able to stifle her giggles. (Obanai is very much this meme)
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â Touch starved but doesnât know it, and is also unintentionally touchy. Until he isnât. Until his touches seem all too intentional, never without meaning.
â Cuddling with you is one of his favorite activities and heâll even schedule official cuddle time if you let him, so you never go without the comfort of one anotherâs arms for long. Heâll even decline plans if itâs the wrong time of dayâŠ
âSorry, Iâd love to, but itâs almost four and I always cuddle with my partner around that time.â
â And no itâs not negotiable. What if he was late, or missed it and hurt your feelings? No no, heâs far too considerate for that.
â Besides, he misses cuddle time the most when heâs out in the field, miles away from your warm embrace. You can tell heâs missing you in the letters he sends home, commenting about how it â sure is cold out here,â though the longer he goes without the less subtle he is, rephrasing how he misses you in every paragraph. Can you really blame him? He truly adores you so itâs hard to be away from you :((
â Prefers to be the little spoon but ultimately will be happy no matter how youâre cuddling. (I expand on little spoon Tanjiro in this post <3)
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â Instinctually touchy and yet so unused to cuddling. Inosuke doesnât know much about positive affectionate touch so he tends to squirm out of hugs and gets a little anxious when you hold him still too long, much like a dog would. He asks you what youâre doing, voice a little softer than normal, cheeks a little pink beneath his mask.
âCuddling you?â you reply, equally confused by his reaction as he is to your affection. âWell stop it. It feels weird,â he huffs, and you comply, albeit a bit disheartened. You canât help but be curious about his rejection, so you push past the sudden awkwardness of the moment to inquire about it. âFeels weird how?â âI donât know! It just does!â he snaps defensively, a little frustrated, an emotion you canât help but mirror. But then you relax, reminding yourself to be understanding. It must show on your face though, because he follows you around until heâs sure you arenât mad at him. Your understanding nature is something heâs still getting used to as well.
â Take it slow with him if you can help it, form positive associations with touch, and then try again another time and heâll be more receptive <3 REALLY receptive after a while, like before you know it youâve got a stage 10 clinger on your hands đÂ
â Especially if you start sleeping together, cus he likes to cover you with his whole body as his way of protecting you while youâre in a vulnerable state.
â However, he will get bitchy if he catches you taking naps without him there to cuddle up to you. Like just say you donât love him đ Youâll wonder why heâs giving you dirty looks and the cold shoulder all day, yeah itâs cus you didnât immediately come find him to nap. Traitor.
â He associates cuddling with sleep so heâs prone to nodding off, and if you guide his head to rest on your chest and massage his scalp? Heâs dead to the world, snoring and everything.
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â You cannot pry this man off of you and I mean it. He was clinging to you before you were even an item, often to your leg, your kimono, your hand, wherever he can reach. If you reciprocate once, heâll keep coming back for more of it. So touch starved itâs pitiable, and heâs smart enough to know that looking pathetic earns him sympathy.
â That said, heâs taken aback if you initiate cuddling, almost unable to fathom being desired. Itâs only then that he gets a little shy, chuckling nervously as you take him into your arms. Doesnât know what to do with himself.
â Zenitsu isnât picky about how you cuddle, just that youâre touching in every way possible. Tangles his legs with yours, wriggles as close as humanly possible, and holds your clothing in an iron grip.
â Oftentimes he looks so blissed out when heâs wrapped up in your embrace, eyes half-lidded or drooping with sudden sleepiness. Youâre just so comfortable, and comforting, and beautiful and aaaa before he knows it heâs muttering all these things to you.
You awaken slowly to a considerable weight on your chest, squinting with your eyes closed you feel around blindly and find the familiar shape of your husband sprawled out on top of you. You sigh, recognizing his snores and a smile tugs at your lips despite it being tough to breathe. Your palm rests on his back, bunching in the thick fabric of his hoari. Your eyes finally crack open, the morning light illuminating your fully-dressed partner. Mustâve been a long night, you mused to yourself, able to picture a half-asleep Zenitsu stumbling into bed so clearly in your mind. Though even his unconscious alter-ego tended to seek you out. You turn, shifting Zenitsu onto his side. He stirs, but only slightly, immediately tucking his head under your chin with a grunt. âDonât go,â he murmurs in his sleep, most likely to a dream version of you and a fondness warms your chest. âStay.â
#â§âđŠËâč ashi writes#kny x reader#demon slayer x reader#kyojuro rengoku x reader#rengoku kyojuro x reader#kyoujurou rengoku x reader#obanai iguro x reader#mitsuri kanroji x reader#tengen uzui x reader#obamitsu x reader#obanai x reader x mitsuri#tanjiro kamado x reader#inosuke hashibira x reader#zenitsu agatsuma x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#gn!reader#gender neutral reader
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tides of regret | heeseung
summary: in the year since heeseung first rejected your love confession, you've tried everything to get over him. a trip to europe makes you realize you miss your former best friend more than anything, and it makes heeseung realize he's got it all wrong.
notes: aaand she's here! this is 24.4K words worth of my heart and soul. consider this a token of my appreciation for welcoming me on enhablr. i sincerely hope you enjoy it. <3
deep cuts: #1
warnings: angst/internal self doubt, playful banter, dirty talking, praise, slight degradation, oral (m and f receiving), dry humping, fingering, mentions of exhibitionism and face sitting, nipple sucking, spit, brief moment of anal (tongue only), condom removal, unprotected sex, creampie.
For @enha-stars â may this story rip you apart and stitch you back together.
masterlist
Incheon feels lonely at three in the morning.Â
The overhead lights being turned off because of the lack of travelers at this hour makes the airport feel bigger than it actually is. Itâs too quiet without the familiar sounds of luggage wheels on the linoleum or overhead speakers announcing flight changes every ten minutes. You donât think youâve ever been to an airport so early in your life.Â
Itâs quiet enough to leave you alone with your bothersome thoughts. In the years youâve been away from home as you studied abroad, you canât help but feel a gravitational pull towards life in Seoul and the people in it. The familiarity of your home outweighs the adventure you once yearned for in your youth, and now youâre left with the exciting notion that, this time, youâll know when youâll be coming back.
The terminal has an abundance of seating. Your backpack rests on the seat beside you as Jay double checks the gate number while the rest of your friends find a spot on the seats next to you, attempting to find an ounce of comfort in the dimly lit area.
âI know leaving early saved us hundreds of dollars, but I need sleep,â Sunghoon says from beside you. His usually well kept hair falls in all sorts of places like he woke up without a second thought and hailed a taxi the minute he opened his eyes.Â
âYouâll thank me later,â Jay says. âWe can sleep on the plane.â
âOur flight doesnât leave for another two hours,â Jake whines from beside him as he yawns. âHow am I supposed to sleep on these god forsakes chairs?âÂ
âQuit whining and try,â Jay retorts. He looks behind him to see the rest of your friend group approach before glancing over to you. âDoing okay?âÂ
âHow come Y/N gets preferential treatment?â Jake beckons.Â
âBecause she isnât a nuisance like you,â Jay immediately fires back before diverting his attention towards you again.Â
âIâm alright,â you say, stifling a yawn behind your hand. âJust cold and sleepy.âÂ
âHopefully they turn off the damn AC,â Sunghoon says as he pulls his sweatshirt over his head. âI feel like my veins are being injected with ice.â
âItâll warm up when more people come,â Jay reasons. âI wish there was a coffee stand that was open. I need a cup.âÂ
âI could go for one,â you agree. âIâm trying to stay awake for the next couple of hours so I can sleep on the plane.âÂ
The rest of your friend group appear behind Jay and you look down to check your phone for any notifications when Heeseung catches your eye. It takes you by surprise and you abruptly look back at your screen and busy yourself by aimlessly scrolling through social media as he attempts to occupy the empty seat beside you, but Jake beats him to it.
âIâm gonna freeze to death and then all of you are gonna have to deal with my frozen body.â Jake dramatically slouches down onto the seat until his head finds your shoulder, nuzzling his cheek as if trying to find comfort in you. âJesus, Y/N, youâre so warm.â
You laugh. âI wore layers.âÂ
âYouâre gonna regret that when we get on the plane,â Jake mumbles.Â
Heeseung, from the corner of your eyes, opts to move to the seats in front of you. You try not to pay him any mind.
You snort. âYeah, well I can take these layers off while you freeze until you become an icicle.â Jake hums when you let your head fall onto his.Â
âYou know Iâm not built for the cold. Australiaâs my home.â
âAnd yet you moved to Korea,â Sunghoon provokes.Â
Jungwon and Riki are rummaging through the bag of snacks youâd brought for an early breakfast until the restaurants and coffee stands around you open up. Jakeâs right, itâs far too cold to stop shivering, but you suppose youâre grateful that the discomfort distracts you from sleeping too early.Â
âI canât believe weâre finally going on this trip,â Sunoo says from above you. With your head still on Jakeâs, you turn to look at the boy speaking. âIâm really excited for you to show us where youâve been for the past four years.â
A tiny smile graces your lips. âIâm excited to show you around London and Paris. The latter is a two hour train ride. My friends and I would go every few weekends or so to explore the city. Pictures and videos donât do them justice.â You sigh as you reminisce. âI really did think that Iâd end up living there when I graduated.âÂ
âWhy didnât you?âÂ
âMissed home too much, I guess.â You shrug. âThough, I canât believe Riki went through a growth spurt in the last two years that I was gone.â
âYou went back to Okayama before Y/N came back for holiday break, right?â Jungwon asks, looking between the both of you.
âThatâs right,â Riki says. âI was sad that I couldnât see you before you went back to school.â
âNow heâs twice my height.â You gesture at the younger boy. Heâs too shy with the sudden affection and chooses to bury his head in Jungwonâs shoulder. âYou were so little.â
âShut up,â he mumbles.Â
âI canât believe youâre fluent in English now.â Jungwon pushes Riki off of his arm. âYou, Jake, and Jay are kind of scary when you speak English.â
âIt was a little hard at first. I used to watch a lot of American cinema so I could understand it better than I could speak it. But I canât lie, itâs fun being able to talk to them in English.â
âYou were so cute trying to string phrases together during your first summer back,â Jay coos. âTexting her in English was funny because she couldnât understand the difference between spelling.â
âPoor Jake.â You pull your head from his and look down at him. âYou probably had aneurysms looking at my grammar.âÂ
You lift your head to see that the aforementioned has fallen asleep amongst the conversation with his mouth slightly ajar and soft snores echoing past your ear. You donât move when Jay asks if you want Jake off of your shoulder, but you shake your head.
Conversation falls flat when the group unanimously decides that sleepiness is overtaking the need to socialize. Jay keeps checking his watch to look out for the time while your eyes try to look anywhere but at Heeseung.Â
Itâs odd, the way two people can lose a friendship overnight. The heartbreak that came with romantic rejection wasnât nearly as bad as realizing texts and phone calls were far fewer in between the moment you had arrived back in Europe to finish your studies. It hurt to know that neither one of you felt comfortable enough to see each other when you were back in your hometown unless the two of you were invited to hang out with mutual friends.Â
Still, seeing Heeseung after he had rejected your confession felt like a punch to the gut.Â
Long gone were the days of being able to send him unimportant updates about your life abroad or what you were doing at any given summer day back home. You couldnât ask him to go to the restaurants you used to frequent near his house or yours. You certainly couldnât call him at random hours because you were bored and missed his voice.Â
It wasnât for the lack of trying. It felt like things might've gone back to normal after a short period of not talking, but your texts going unanswered and your calls going to voicemail was all you needed to know.Â
Perhaps itâs why youâre comfortable spearheading this vacation with Jay, who had made it a point to visit you in London when youâd chosen to stay behind instead of going home for the holiday break. The two of you had never spent time alone prior to then, but it touched you that heâd go out of his way to dedicate an entire day to visit you when he was there for a family vacation.Â
Coming back to Korea the summer after graduating felt like you were making the right choice, even if your head was telling you to find a home in Europe. Still fresh from your unresolved rejection, stepping off of the plane and knowing you wouldnât be returning back to your universityâs town made the uncomfortable reality of coming face-to-face with Heeseung sink in. Youâd have to live with the consequences.Â
But itâs been eight months since you returned, six months since Jayâs dad was gracious enough to offer you a position on his marketing team, and five months since he encouraged your entire friend group to take a trip to your old stomping grounds.Â
The proposition felt too sudden, especially with how little experience you had working with his team, but youâd spend an evening with the Park family for him to consider you an honorary member. Though, youâre sure Jay mightâve told him something happened between you and Heeseung, especially after telling everyone you wouldnât be coming home for the holidays.Â
To this day, you havenât uttered a single word to your friends about what happened the night Heeseung rejected your love confession. If you know him as well as you think you do, you donât think he's told anyone either.Â
âCafes are opening up,â Jay notes. Sunghoonâs ears perk up. âThree of us should go get food and drinks while the rest save our seats.âÂ
The airport overhead lights mustâve turned on while you were deep in thought. Jayâs right, the coffee stands have opened and itâs likely due to the new influx of travelers whoâve arrived at the airport. Foot traffic is still light and you know Jay wants to get ahead of the crowd.Â
Jake has woken up because of the growing murmur around him and lifts himself off of your head to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. He yawns once more but tries his best not to fall asleep again.
âHow long was I out?â
âTwenty minutes, give or take,â Sunghoon answers.
âSorry for sleeping on you,â Jake apologizes.Â
âItâs okay. You needed it.â He scrunches his face, not used to the new lighting. âJay, Iâll come with you to get coffee. I need to stretch my legs.âÂ
âIâll help as well.â Heeseung speaks for the first time in a while and his voice nearly catches you off guard.Â
âSure.â Jay gathers everybodyâs orders before the two of you follow him around the terminal.Â
The line isnât unbearably long, but with Heeseung towering behind you, it feels like youâve been standing for hours. You shift from one foot to the other in order to find a happy medium to no avail. Jay orders for the group and you pay attention to him more than you care to when you realize Heeseung is now standing beside you to make room for more people to wait in line. Heâs considerate like that and you hate it.Â
When the baristas are finished with your order, you reach for the bag of sandwiches in your haste to escape Heeseung. But your fingers touch the steam and you drop the bag into the counter with a hiss.
âCareful,â Heeseung says. âDonât get hurt, please.âÂ
Your clumsy nature was always something he teased you for. Heeseung sounds so sincere about his worry that you think youâd rather him pour all of the hot coffee on you instead.Â
âThanks.â You grab the bag with so much as a single moment of eye contact before realizing Jay has started walking back.Â
Breakfast is eaten in silence. Everyone is too tired to speak, save for Jake whose twenty minute nap has rendered him a little more awake than the rest of you. You and Sunghoon share your egg sandwich and chocolate croissant respectively without a word spoken between the two of you.Â
Meanwhile, Heeseung is staring at the way your thighs are close to Sunghoonâs. He had shifted his body closer to yours in order to form a makeshift table so that sharing pastries wouldnât result in crumbs on the floor. You can feel Heeseung's gaze on your kneecap and it makes your face flush.Â
Sunoo and Jake offer to throw everybodyâs trash away when youâre all done eating. The airport is in full swing by now and everyone has said their graces and apologized to Jay for giving him a hard time with how early they arrived.Â
It seems that sleep has threatened to overtake you. Youâre waiting in line to scan your plane ticket and board the aircraft, but the sudden warmth of the airport has caused you to yawn a few too many times. Rikiâs standing in front of you and his height makes for a perfect makeshift wall to lean on. Or, thatâs what your tired brain is telling you, because you slouch forward and let your cheek rest against his back as you close your eyes.Â
âSleepy girl,â you hear him chuckle. You merely nod in acknowledgement.Â
Your comfort is short lived when he softly nudges you because the line has moved. Soon, you scan your ticket and give the airline agent a smile as thanks before waiting to set foot on the aircraft.Â
Sunghoon notices your dropped shoulders and wordlessly takes your backpack off of you.Â
âYou donât need to do that,â you say with a frown when you see Sunghoon carrying your belongings with him.Â
âLet me hold it,â says Sunghoon. âYou look like youâre about to fall over with the extra weight.âÂ
âIf you insist.â
âLet us take care of you, yeah?â Jay interrupts, bumps his shoulder with yours. âYouâve been running all over Europe these past four years and weâve only seen you a handful of times. You deserve to relax on this trip.âÂ
âI canât believe you guys are being so sweet on me. I know thatâs ending the second we get back to Korea.âÂ
The two boys laugh. âWell, itâs only fair, I guess. Youâre like, the mom friend.â
âJay is the mom friend.â The aforementioned doesnât argue.Â
The squeeze of the aircraft is tight and youâre desperately trying to look for your seat. It seems that Sunghoon is sitting in your row, which excites you, but youâve come to realize that youâve obtained the ungodly middle seat. You make peace with it for a brief moment before Heeseung clears his throat awkwardly.
âLetâs switch seats,â he says from behind you. His ticket shows the window seat right next to yours. âI know you hate middle seats.âÂ
âNo, I couldnât ask that of you.âÂ
âYouâre not asking.â He says it with a smile and it makes you cower into yourself. âYou should move to your new seat so we donât hold up the line.âÂ
Heeseung suggests it in a way that is reminiscent of the days where heâd give up his sweet treats because you wanted a taste. It tugs at your heartstrings but you donât have time to think about that when you notice how the plane is starting to fill up.Â
Reluctantly, you slide into the window seat while Heeseung and Sunghoon follow suit. Your seat belts are buckled and in no time, the aircraft takes flight.Â
For the next hour, Heeseung looks like he wants to say something to you. The headphones you've brought do well to cancel out the noise, for the most part. You can see from the corner of your eye that he glances at you from time to time, but you ignore it and choose to get comfortable for the long haul.Â
When you notice the flight attendants come with the beverage cart, you take it as a cue to get comfortable and try to get some sleep for the next few hours. Likely due to the lack of sleep from the night prior, you fall asleep as soon as your head rests against the plane.
You donât hear Heeseung requesting an extra bottle of water for you.
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
When you come to, youâre barely able to register that itâs time to eat the first meal on the flight. You take your headphones off and put it in your backpack as you blink the sleep out of your eyes.Â
âChicken or beef?âÂ
Heeseung looks at you, expecting an answer.
âHm?â
He laughs softly. âChicken or beef?âÂ
Your eyes dart between him and the flight attendants when you realize theyâre about to approach.
âI heard them asking people which meal they want,â Heeseung explains. âSo, chicken or beef?â
âBeef.â You clear your throat.Â
âBeef it is.â
Sunghoon requests chicken when the flight attendant arrives. Heeseung orders beef for the both of you before you get the chance. If he notices you looking at him strangely, he doesnât comment on it.Â
The food comes quicker than expected and the meal tastes decent, though youâre trying your best not to elbow Heeseung as you cut away at your portion. He seems engrossed in the movie in front of him while you peek at what heâs watchingâIron Man, to no oneâs shock.Â
You soften a bit at the nostalgia that comes with Heeseung and Marvel, namely the rainy days in your youth spent marathoning the superhero movies. There had been one year in high school when heâd dressed up as Tony Stark and you as Pepper Potts despite a few girls your age whispering behind your back at the matching costumes out of jealousy. You donât think you can think of the franchise without thinking of Heeseung.Â
The memories almost bring a smile to your face. Heeseung seems to notice you glancing at his screen in between bites. You avoid eye contact when you realize he caught you staring and focus on cutting your meal, praying that Heeseung will stop looking at you and watch the movie instead.Â
But he takes one earbud out and holds it to you.Â
âDo you want to watch it with me?â Heâs halfway through. You tell him such but he doesnât care.Â
âI donât want to jump in halfway through.âÂ
âCome on, itâs not like you havenât done that before.âÂ
Heeseung says it with such nonchalance that it makes your stomach drop. He sees the way your eyes falter for a moment and the way you glance between his hand and the screen. You try to come up with excuses to refuse his offer, but youâve got eight more hours until you land.
âSure,â you settle. Heeseung gives you one headphone and resumes watching.
Between the meals being picked up and tray tables being put away, you manage to fall asleep in your seat. Sunoo sits in front of you and upon coming back from a quick bathroom trip, sees your head resting on Heeseungâs shoulder with his cheek propped on your head. The two of you are fast asleep despite the credits rolling and he canât help but snap a quick photo.Â
You wake up some hours later when Sunghoon says your name. The cabin lights turning on temporarily blinds your vision as you wake up when you realize youâd managed to push yourself back enough to rest yourself against Heeseungâs arm.Â
âOh God,â you say in shock, pulling yourself and the seat upright. âSorry. I didnât mean to fall asleep on you.â
âItâs okay,â he replies, like he means it. âSleeping on planes is uncomfortable. But I know you know that.âÂ
You nod. âYeah. It's too hard to get comfortable.â
âI canât believe weâre spending two weeks in Europe. Iâve never been outside of Korea and Japan before. Youâll have to help me with my English.â
âJay or Jake can also help with that.â You say it with a yawn and Heeseungâs eyes cast to the floor for a brief moment. You barely notice, gathering your own belongings as the flight descends.Â
âYeah, I guess they can.âÂ
When you land, the familiar disorientation of the time difference truly wakes you up. Itâs eleven in the morning when the plane door finally opens and Jayâs moving a step ahead of you as he occupies space in the aisle way to grab his belongings. You follow suit and wait for your turn to exit amongst your friends and other travel goers.
Stepping out of the plane and into the familiar terrain of the Heathrow Airport reignites your attentiveness and you smile at the fond memories of being greeted by your university friends upon arriving. The familiar atmosphere of English travelers milling around the gate warms your chest with nostalgia.Â
You wait for the boys to emerge before signaling Jay, who follows beside you as you walk towards the baggage claim area. You lead him with little trouble down the escalator as the rest of your friends follow suit, yawning in an attempt to wake themselves up.Â
âItâs weird seeing you in your element,â Jay comments as he stands beside you, periodically checking the turnstile for his luggage. âA good kind of weird.âÂ
âThis airport might as well be my second home,â you tell him. âIt feels routine to wait for my luggage at this point.â
âIâm tempted to sleep when we get to the hotel but I donât want to mess up my sleep schedule more than it already is.â Jay pulls his luggage.Â
âYeah, thatâs smart. I think we should take an hour to freshen up and find a place to eat before we go exploring.â
âI can already hear Jake whining about it.âÂ
The two of you share a laugh. âHeâll just have to get used to it. We can have an early night and rest up before we explore tomorrow.âÂ
âHe slept on the plane, for the most part,â Jay informs. âSurprisingly, he didnât snore as loudly as he usually does.â He spots your luggage and takes it off of the belt for you.Â
On the other side of the carousel, Heeseung and Sunoo are standing together to find their own luggages.Â
âYou guys looked pretty cozy,â Sunoo comments. âIt was nice seeing you two like that again.â
âIt felt nice,â he mutters. âI really missed her.âÂ
Heeseung doesnât have to tell Sunoo what happened between the two of you for him to know that you two arenât as close as you used to be. The older boy feels nearly ashamed that his own friends have caught up on his awkward demeanor.
âWell, sheâs back for good and weâre here on vacation. Try not to dwell on whatever it is thatâs making you think too hard.â
Heeeung laughs. âIâll try, Sunoo. Itâs just hard when weâre not as close. How can I compete when weâre in her college town and how will I talk to her in Paris?â
âWell, you never know,â Sunoo says as he picks up his luggage. âAnything can happen in the City of Love.â
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
The hotel itself is modest in size. Quaint, old cobblestone surrounding the entryway like you remember it. The people are busy walking in and out of the meeting rooms in the lobby as you walk to the concierge to sort out the rooming situation. Jay stands beside to help distribute the keys and the employee behind the desk bids you a good stay.Â
The view from the fifth floor is spectacular already. You catch glimpses of the streets of London below you, street lights decorating the sidewalk and flowers surrounding the city. This feels like the London you remember and it adds a slight pep in your step.Â
âAlright, itâs decided that three of you are gonna share,â you say as you reach the first room. âThe other four will be split into two rooms and Iâll get a room for myself.â
âThatâs not fair,â Jake huffs.Â
âI refuse to share a room with any of you.â You pocket the key to the single bedroom. âPlus, Jayâs mom helped me make the arrangements when we planned the trip.â
âFavoritism,â Jake coughs. You nudge his side.
âTo make it fair, everyone will pick up a key card without knowing the room number and flip it. Thatâll determine who you room with.â
âAlright,â Jungwon says. âFair enough.â
One by one, your friends pick their key cards and discover their roommates. Jake, Sunoo, and Riki are the unlucky three who will be rooming together for the duration of the week. Jay and Sunghoon are in the room directly across from theirs while Heeseung and Jungwon share a room.Â
âLetâs meet at the lobby in an hour,â Jay suggests. âWe can get some lunch and do some exploring before deciding on dinner.â
âWe can take it easy and sleep early tonight,â you add in. âI know that flying internationally is always a bitch and I try to time my sleep when I need to.â
The eight of you part ways. Your suite has a beautiful view of the sky and the room itself makes you feel like the main character of a romance film. The bed is just to your liking with pillows stacked to the nines. It feels nice to have a moment to yourself. With your friend Yunjin backing out of the trip at the last minute due to family conflicts, you hadnât had time to think about anything other than arriving at the hotel safely.Â
You busy yourself with a shower and freshen up, pulling out options for you to wear for the rest of the night. You settle with something stylish yet comfortable and put enough makeup on your face until youâre satisfied with the person staring back at you in the bathroom mirror.Â
True to your word, you enter the lobby when you said you would. Jay and Sunghoon are already downstairs by the seats. Sunghoon stands to offer you the loveseat but you decline politely and sift through your phone until the rest of the guys arrive.Â
When they do, itâs like all eight of you collectively agree that hunger has overtaken you. You know of a nearby cafe that serves sandwiches from your days in university. You lead them to the quaint restaurant that has your friends staring at the art on the walls as you greet the cashier and order.Â
Itâs a slow moment for the eight of you as you all eat in relative silence, the sound of quiet slurping audible from the coffees everyone has chosen to drink.Â
âDid you spend a lot of time here?â Jungwon asks.Â
âAround the area, yeah,â you say, looking around. The outdoor seating area is just towards the edge of the street with the weather being a cool, cloudy day. âI loved coming to cafeâs like these with my friends after class. Weâd study until they kicked us out and then go for a drink or two.âÂ
âWe should go to a pub while weâre here,â Jake suggests. âIâve always wanted to see an English pub. We have a few back in Australia.âÂ
âI know just the place! My friendâs brother owns it and they know Iâll be in town for the next week. It would be nice to catch up with them.âÂ
âHopefully your friends here kept you out of trouble,â Sunghoon teases. You flick him with your fingers.Â
âIâm the most responsible one out of you seven and donât you forget that.âÂ
âDo you miss being here now that youâre back?â Riki asks in between sandwich bites. âGod, I love London already.âÂ
âYouâre going to choke if you donât slow down.â He apologies and takes a single bite. âWell, I think I miss my friends a lot. I donât necessarily miss being in university, but I miss the freedoms that come with it.â
âI still canât believe you spent four years of your life here,â Sunghoon says. âThatâs insane when you think about how you cried when your aunt took you to Tokyo for a week when you were in middle school.â
The boys laugh and you frown. âI was twelve, okay? You wound me. But yeah, I think I grew out of my shell in high school and had this urge to travel but didnât know how to do it. I was surprised when my parents encouraged me to apply to Kingâs College, even more so when I got accepted.â
âYouâve always been too good to stay in one place for too long,â Jake says. âWe got close until halfway through our first year of high school, I think. I always got the sense that you wanted more than what our hometown could offer.âÂ
âI always wanted to move to the heart of Seoul eventually. But I think I needed to come here in order to figure that out.â
âWould you really have stayed in London if you had the chance?âÂ
You avoid looking at Heeseung, whose attention averted from his phone to you.Â
âI donât know,â you say honestly. âBut what I do know is that Iâm happy to be back in Korea and Iâm happy to be traveling to Europe.âÂ
âYou always did have that sense of adventure,â Heeseung says. âI remember you were the one who always got us in trouble when we explored a little too far.âÂ
âYour mom was pissed that time I walked a little too far down the shoreline when we went to Jeju.â The memory feels warm despite your discomfort at having Heeseungâs eyes on you. âI didnât know who she wanted to kill more, me or you.â
âDefinitely me. You could do no wrong in her eyes.â
âWhat happened?â Sunoo asks.Â
âMy family and Heeseungâs took a trip to Jeju Island when we were around seven, if I remember correctly. Iâd taken swimming lessons and thought I could show off my new skills at the beach we were at, but there was a wave that was a bit too much for me to handle.â
âShe was nearly swallowed by the ocean.â Heeseung hits his knee with his palm as he recalls the memory. âI mean, I was seven and it seemed like the wave was gigantic but to my mom, it mustâve been just tall enough that she could see over it.â
âShe yelled at him for the rest of the night because she had to pull me out from under the water,â you add. âI was fine. My parents laughed it off but his mom was so pissed at him for not telling me to come back to the shore.â
Echoes of laughter fill the space. It feels nice to be able to laugh like this with Heeseung, temporarily forgetting why you were so awkward around him in the first place.Â
When the check is paid, you lead the group around the area. Sunghoon takes out his camera and captures everything that inspires him while Sunoo and Riki are off to explore the shops around. It brings warmth to your chest to see your friends enthusiastically exploring the space you once called home. It had been a dream of yours since Jay came to visit and let you drag him around town for the day. Having them with you feels like youâre healing a part of yourself.Â
You duck into the quiet bookstore you used to frequent while you were a student. Filled with novels and trinkets from floor to ceiling, it feels familiar to you.Â
You get lost in thought when you glance at the books in front of you and you donât notice Heeseung approaching.Â
âStill love books?âÂ
âJesus,â you gasp, clutching your chest. âYou scared me.â
âSorry,â he laughs. âSeems like you still scare easily.â You hate that he knows you so well. Clearing your throat, you put the book back.Â
âYes, to both. I used to come to this bookstore a lot when I had free time.âÂ
He looks around. âIt looks like a nice place.â
âThey have a reading nook in the back. The owner is this sweet older woman who was the first person to help me with my English when I first moved. I think she let me read books for free because I used to bring her sweets.â
âThat sounds like something youâd do.â You cast your eyes to the floor. âItâs crazy that thereâs parts of you that I donât know.âÂ
âYeah,â you mumble solemnly. Heeseungâs eyes bore into the side of your face as you pretend to look at the titles of the books.Â
âDo you talk to your college friends often?âÂ
âAll the time. My closest friends live all over the place. Two of them are from the area, one went to live in the States, and a few live in Busan.â
âIâll bet it was nice to have some Korean friends when you moved. I remember you used call me to tell me about your first semester here.âÂ
You canât help but think about the first few months after you moved when you would call Heeseung for a bit of comfort when things felt too overwhelming. With Korea being nine hours ahead, you always felt a little too bothersome phoning when it was the middle of the night for him, not used to the time difference. But he always answered you or called back when he had the chance.Â
Youâd spend hours on the phone, talking to him about how difficult it was to learn English and how making friends was not as easy as you thought it would be. Navigating the city felt lonely and isolating because youâd barely made friends in your classes in the first few weeks. Heeseung was there through all of it, reminding you that being eighteen years old in a new country made you brave despite feeling like you were a failure for not grasping a hold on life like you thought you would.Â
Falling asleep on the phone with him became a routine, too. Whether it was you who fell asleep after a long day or Heeseung, who had stayed up listening to your worries, the sound of his breathing made it feel like you were back home in Korea instead of exploring a grand new world.Â
Soon enough, you could talk your way around and piece together conversations with your classmates until youâd found friends who shared similar interests. Heeseung was the first person you told and the first person to tell you how proud he was that you extended your roots to learn about yourself away from home. You always thrived off of his praise as if making him proud was something you never sought out to do, but appreciated when it happened.
But that was four years ago. Whatever friendship you had with him then is not the one you have with him now.Â
âIt was nice,â you settle. âI miss my college friends. You might get to meet some later in the week.âÂ
âNice,â he mutters to himself when you walk past him. âThatâs really nice.âÂ
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
The rest of the week is spent in your old stomping grounds, from touring your campus, to shopping, to sightseeing. The eight of you split up more often than not to explore different areas based on mutual interest. You find that Heeseung tends to gravitate towards you and you arenât sure if itâs because he feels guilty for rejecting you or because he genuinely wants to explore what you want to do.Â
Still though, at least one other person joins you. It feels nice to have a buffer to avoid any awkward conversation or moments, especially when Heeseung trips over his words trying to talk to you.Â
The week goes by too quickly for your liking. Spending time in London has felt like coming back home, in a way. Youâll always have your memories here and this city will remain the same when you return in the future. Now, it no longer feels like the place you escape too because things got too hard back home.Â
Even with Heeseung next to you more often than not, youâve found a happy medium The awkwardness dissipates when you set aside your indifference to show everybody your favorite places, watching them explore the city for themselves.Â
As expected, Riki and Jake have spent a little too much on clothing with the hopes that they can fit it into their luggage on the way back. It fits miraculously.Â
Your friend Leo, the one whose brother owns the pub you used to frequent, tells you heâs excited to see you after all these months. Itâs a Friday night when you arrive, seeing it well populated. But itâs rather early in the evening before the rush hour, so you enjoy the relative quietness before people rush in.Â
Heeseung, on the other hand, has been in a stupor for the latter half of the week. It began when he managed to talk to you in the bookstore, but blossomed when he watched you navigate your way around the city. You barely looked at your phone for directions and had no problem switching to English when you greeted shop owners. Hearing you speak fluently in a language you once struggled with in your childhood made him feel somewhat removed from your life. The two of you used to joke that he was always better with English. Now, the tables have turned.Â
The fear that youâd told your school friends about what transpired between the two of you plants itself in the back of Heeseungâs mind. He worries that your friends wonât like him and that youâve scorned his name, but he chides himself just as much as he worries because he knows you and how deeply you care about people.Â
Heeseung wishes he could go back in time to change what happened. He wishes that heâd admit his mistake and confess to you before you left. It had taken him a long time to confront his own feelings, but seeing you back in Korea made him realize he didnât care if the relationship was long distance or not. He didnât care as long as you were in his life.Â
The months spent apart without phone calls or texts were agony. He loathed hearing what you were up to from your mutual friends or when he accidentally watched your Instagram stories. Seeing you happy without him made his heart lurch, not out of possessiveness, but because he wished you were comfortable enough to share those moments with him.Â
To boil it down, Heeseung hopes this trip can undo a yearâs worth of his ignorance.Â
But before he can think about that, your exclamation pulls him towards a strange man before you.Â
âLeo!âÂ
The sheer volume of your voice doesnât go unnoticed by Heeseung, who eyes the bloke the second you make a dash for him. His heart winces when your arms wrap around the strangerâs neck and as he spins you around, squeezing you for good measure. He isnât pleased when Leo settles to let his arm rest around your waist instead of letting you go. Heâs even less so when you donât attempt to separate yourself from him.Â
âHey, pretty girl,â Leo says with a boyish grin, accent making Heeseung nearly roll his eyes.Â
âThis is Leo.â You let your head rest on his shoulder for a brief moment. âHeâs one of my friends from university. I think we met in, what, second year?âÂ
âSecond year, auditing class with Professor Donahue on Mondays and Wednesdays,â he says. âGod, that class was so boring.âÂ
âHeâs the friend whose brother owns the bar,â you explain to them. You introduce Leo to each friend respectively. âJay and Jake are my friends who are fluent in English.âÂ
âYou can speak it and understand it as well, right?â Leo asks as he shakes Heeseungâs hand.
He nods while giving him a tight smile. âJust a little. Iâm practicing.âÂ
âNah, you sound perfect already.â
Heeseung feels indifferent to see you in your element with people from your past. The bartender, who is Leoâs brother, tells you the first two rounds are on the house after he checks IDs. Riki and Jungwon are excited to have their first pub experience after you make them promise to take it slow and drink lots of water in between.Â
âItâs a bit weird seeing her be like that,â Leo says to Jay with a laugh. âWhen we first got to know each other, it was me who had to tell her to watch how much she drank.â
âY/N, drinking?â Jake asks. âNo way. Back in Korea, she got drunk maybe twice a year.âÂ
âShe and a mutual friend, Elizabeth, were as thick as thieves. They were like a package deal before we all graduated and until she moved to the States. Theyâd always go a little too hard after exam season was over or if people invited them out on a Saturday night.â
âY/Nâs always been the responsible one out of the bunch,â Jay adds. âIn high school, there was one time she got so drunk that she nearly scaled the roof of my friendâs house. Heeseung nearly fell off trying to get her down. After that, she swore off alcohol.âÂ
Heeseung makes a few comments in the conversation as he watches you catch up with Leoâs brother and as you facilitate conversation between the rest of the guys. Thereâs a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he realizes thereâs a lot he doesnât know about you.Â
The two of you talked less as you became more comfortable in your environment. At first, Heeseung took it to heart and made the assumption that youâd chosen your friends in England over him, but a stern conversation with his mother made him realize he was being juvenile. He could only comfort you so much when he was oceans away. It was probably a good thing that you were talking to him less because that mustâve meant you were as overwhelmed or scared like you were when you first moved to England.Â
Youâd still call him a few times a week before bedâwhen Heeseung was getting ready for the dayâto update him on everything that happened in the past week. You two texted more frequently than you conversed, sending him pictures of new places youâd discovered or him sending photos of your mutual friends with sad faces at the notion of you not being able to be there with them.Â
Heeseung had always felt a bit jealous of your time abroad. He loved Korea, but he yearned for the same sense of adventure you once had. Only, he hadnât figured it out until halfway through university when it was too late to transfer or apply for a semester abroad. When Jay had proposed this trip and that his father would expense half of it, he jumped at the opportunity to go.Â
Although, he didnât know it would hurt him this much.
Hearing you talk about your life here made him feel like it was his fault that he barely knew your life in England. It was so easy when the two of you lived a few blocks from each other; heâd run into you with your other friends on the street or know exactly where you were likely to be at any given moment. He knew you felt the same way about him too, as you always knew where to find him if you really needed him.Â
But it feels like this is the first time heâs seeing you for who you are as an adult, not the child that he grew up with.Â
Surely, Heeseung always knew you had a good head on your shoulders. You were always the more outspoken one who stood up for what you believed in, no matter how big or small. You never backed down if someone was giving you a hard time and it was one of the reasons why Heeseung had struck up a conversation with you as you two played in the sandbox after a few kids had stolen the toys he was playing with. That sense of responsibility and gratuity followed you into your adolescent and teenage years, too. Not once had Heeseung heard anyone say a bad word about your character. Heâd like to think he had something to do with it, but deep down, Heeseung knows it was all you.Â
When you confessed nearly a year ago, Heeseung felt like his heart mightâve ceased to function properly. Truth be told, heâs never taken his daydreams about being your boyfriend too seriously. He always wondered if it was normal to develop small crushes on your girl-friends at a young age and wondered if those butterflies in his stomach was because of how often his other friends at school would playfully tease him until they stopped. Jake and Sunghoon had been people who teased him for having a girl as his best friend until they befriended you too, and Heeseung was satisfied when they stopped with their comments. They, too, could understand why Heeseung was so keen on keeping you around.Â
But the butterflies never quite left him. Your smile was too bright. Your voice was too angelic. Everything about you and how you fit into his life felt a little too perfect; Heeseung hated cliches in his youth and this felt like one big cliche joke. He knew his mother didnât approve of the girls sheâd see him with, even in college when he got into his first serious relationship. She wasnât as enthusiastic about her as she was with you. At the time, the frustration seemed too biased until it ended in a way that made Heeseung realize his mother truly knew what was best for him.
Heeseung never considered the possibility of dating you until you confessed your feelings for him.Â
As much as he plays off being the spontaneous, go-with-the-flow type of person, Heeseung gets scared when things go unplanned. He backs away from courage and from moments that make or break his character. He likes to play it safe unless he can make a calculated risk in his favor, choosing to let others fall flat on their face and learn from their mistakes. Heeseung had never considered the possibility of you having feelings for him either. That fateful summer night is one he will always remember, especially in the way the light in your eyes dimmed when he told you he didnât feel the same.Â
He remembers your quick apologies and the way you backed away too quickly for his liking. He had tried to reach for your hand to tell you it was okay and that he didnât feel awkward about it, but youâd shook your head and merely told him youâd see him later. Heeseung had never seen you leave so abruptly. But he figured youâd get over it, as you typically do when things donât go your way. Youâre resilient like that.
Heeseung assumed you needed time to heal from the awkward encounter and hadnât reached out to you for a week. He didnât think much of it at the time and hadnât made plans with you until he realized youâd be leaving for Europe the week following. By then, it had been too late, because he stopped by your house the morning after you left.Â
Getting together with Seulgi after you left felt too easy. He knew sheâd always had a thing for him but brushed her off for reasons he couldnât fathom until he bumped into her a few weeks after youâd left without so much as a text or a voicemail. Feeling a bit irritated at your wordless departure, Heeseung took Seulgi out on a few days to take his mind off of you.
Except, it didnât work. Heeseung found himself fantasizing about what it would be like to go out to dinner with you when she was sitting in front of him. When sheâd texted him to thank him for his time, Heeseung imagined the kind of things you would say after your first date. When he kissed her for the first time underneath the twinkling lights of a local fair, Heeseung pictured you as he closed his eyes. The fantasy was ruined when Seulgiâs perfume touched his olfactory senses, pulling him back into reality. The guilt of kissing somebody who wasnât you ate at his chest the moment he saw Seulgi smile at him from where he stood.Â
He tried his best with her but broke it off when the unrest overtook his mental wellbeing. It was amicable, for the most part. All Heeseung knows is that his parents (along with all of his friends) were happy that he hadnât continued with that relationship.
âY/N used to talk a lot about you, Heeseung,â Leo says, bringing the aforementioned out of his thoughts. âWeâd be out at dinner or something and sheâd always run outside to answer your calls.â
âReally?â Heeseung says out of surprise. He didnât know you did that.Â
âYou bet,â Leo replies. âShe talked a lot about Korea when weâd hang out with our friends but she seemed to talk about you the most.âÂ
Heeseung wonders if you told him about what happened between the two of you the summer before you left.Â
âIâm flattered.â Heeseung honestly doesnât know what else to say. He chooses to tell the truth. âI missed her a lot. I grew up with her living a few blocks away. It felt weird not to be with her when I went to college.âÂ
âY/N said the same thing. Every time sheâd be homesick, sheâd tell us she needed to call you.â Leoâs words bring a warm flush to Heeseungâs face but he chooses to blame it on the alcohol.Â
âI heard my name,â you say as you walk to where theyâre sitting. âNot talking shit about me, my dear Leo?â
âNever,â he teases. âAlthough, Iâm sure I still have some pretty photos of you and Elizabeth at this very pub.â
âOh God, please donât.â You push his shoulder when he moves to reach his phone. âThose do not need to see the light of day and you definitely need to delete them.â
âHow else am I going to blackmail you?âÂ
âYouâre the worst.â You look cute when your nose is a bit red from drinking. You always did suffer from redness to the face when you drank. âI canât believe Elizabeth and I let you into our friend group.â
âHey! I was the one who introduced you to her in the first place.â
âIâll bet if I texted her right now, Iâd have it in writing that sheâd choose me over you.â
âOkay, you donât need to do that because she definitely would.âÂ
The group laughs and conversations flow nicely as a few other friends from your university days join you later in the evening. It feels like a reunion, of sorts. It feels especially wonderful to have most of your favorite people under one roof despite the slight language barrier. But everyone seems to get along well enough, especially Riki, who has taken a liking to your Japanese friend you met on your first day of orientation.Â
When the room gets too hot, you make your way outside where youâre fenced in by a metal barricade. Itâs cold outside, but the alcohol running through your veins keeps you warm enough that you decide not to go back to ask for a jacket. Heeseung wants to follow you but stays still in his seat when he sees Sunghoon exit the door after you leave.Â
The wine in your hands is still halfway full. Youâve decided that youâve taken the lead far too many times this week and that Jay can handle getting everyone home. Itâs your fourth drink of the night, just enough to keep you buzzed for the duration of your time at the pub.Â
You register the door sliding open and make room for Sunghoon when you spot him over your shoulder.Â
âYour friends are really nice,â he comments, leaning on the railing next to you.Â
âTheyâre the best,â you say with a fond smile. âI owe them a lot. I only started enjoying my time here when we became friends.âÂ
âYou know, I was a little worried that you wouldnât be happy when you moved to London for the first time.â
âWhat makes you say that?âÂ
âI think a lot of people would describe you as brave and as someone who will dive in head first to things that scare you, which is true for the most part. But I think people rarely pay attention to the vulnerable side of people like you because it looks like you have it all together.â
âI was a total wreck when I first moved,â you said. âI donât know if you remember the few times I called you when Heeseung wasnât able to pick up.â
âOh, I remember. That was the first time you cried to me and now you have no issue getting your snot on my sweaters.â You swat his arm at the joke but he dodges you just in time. âI remember Yeji getting worried about you too. She was so young and always said she wanted to be brave like you.â
âSweet girl,â you say.Â
âThe two of you are similar. I watch out for her a lot, you know? Our relatives always think she puts on a brave face and donât think twice when she talks about her fears. They always tell her sheâll be fine, but itâs hard to actualize that when you donât believe it.â
âI thought about coming home a few times when things got really hard,â you confess. âI was out of my depth because I couldnât speak English very well. I could only speak fragments and getting my way around campus was so hard.âÂ
âI donât know how you did it, if Iâm being honest. But Iâm glad that you stuck around long enough to see what your life would be like.â
âMe too. Iâd really love to think Iâve become a better person now that Iâve gotten the chance to know myself beyond the comfort of my home, you know? I love you guys and I love my family, but sometimes being back in Korea felt like I was listening to what was expected of me instead of what I wanted.â
Sunghoon laughs. âYeji said the same thing a few weeks before we left for London. Part of me thinks sheâs considering studying abroad. I found a few college brochures in her room.â
âDonât you know better than to snoop inside your sisterâs bedroom?â
âYah,â he says. âYeji steals too many of my sweaters and she said I could get them back.â
âYouâre just too easy to make fun of, Hoonie.âÂ
A comfortable silence passes over the both of you. The audible sound of people talking amongst themselves and the beautiful lights of the city illuminate what makes London so beautiful. It isnât until Sunghoon speaks that you pull yourself out of your daydreams.
âI heard you that night,â Sunghoon confesses.Â
âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
âThe night of the bonfire.I know you told Heeseung you liked him.â
You turn your head to him. âWhy didnât you say anything?â
âI figured youâd tell me whenever you felt ready,â he says with a shrug. âYou went back to London a couple of weeks later and I wanted to spend time with my friend. There never seemed to be a right time.â He shoves his hands in his pockets and balances from one leg to another. âYou looked really sad, Y/N. Iâve never seen you look that way before.âÂ
Thereâs a beat of silence.Â
Sunghoon listens as you sigh and you push yourself from the railing. Your back touches the cold metal as you look beside yourself to see him.Â
âI deluded myself into thinking Heeseung mightâve felt something for me too,â you admit. âItâs not that girls and boys canât be friends, but towards the end of our friendship, it was like something shifted.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âHeâdâŠtouch me longer. Hugs, pulling me by my waist at parties, lingering near me at Rikiâs bonfires, that kind of thing. He started playing with my fingers a lot more. Heeseung never used to touch me like that. Heâd interrupt conversation with guys to pull me away. I always knew what he was doing but I liked him so much that I didnât care if he interrupted a good thing between me and someone else.âÂ
Sunghoon purses his lips and watches as you look ahead at the glass doors to see your friends laughing. âI noticed that too.â
âWhen we were alone, it felt like he was one sentence away from telling me he loved me more than a friend. Not that platonic crap that the eight of us tell each other, but the deep shit where that kind of love comes from kindred souls.âÂ
âHeeseungâs too stupid to see whatâs good for him anyway.â Sunghoon pulls a laugh out of you and heâs glad to hear it.Â
âBut then I confessed to him the night of that bonfire.â You bite your lip at the memory, willing yourself not to tear up. âI mean, you heard him. He told me he didnât feel the same way and didnât want to ruin our friendship because it was perfect as it was.â
âAnd then you heard heâd gotten together with Seulgi.â
âYeah.â You nod once and look down at your drink.Â
âThey werenât together long,â Sunghoon says. âShe wanted more but he didnât want to give that to her. The boys were confused because he seemed to be really happy with her until he broke it off so sudden. I always thought it was because he felt too guilty after rejecting you.â
âWhat did the guys think?â
âRiki hated her. I have a feeling it was because she wasnât you, though. I think Sunoo, Jungwon, and Jake were surprised when heâd gotten together with Seulgi after you left and were trying to be nice about it. Jay was indifferent, but then again, you two werenât as close as you were with the rest of them until he visited you while you were away.â
âDid his opinion change?âÂ
âDefinitely. Heeseung had a period of time in the new year where he went on a couple of dates with her, telling us he mightâve made a mistake by breaking things off too soon.â Sunghoon shakes his head as he tells the story. âJay was unbelievably pissed.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âYou know how he gets when heâs angry. Heâs quiet and doesnât talk until heâs calm. But it was like a volcano erupted, or something. Jay came back mid January to find out Heeseung had been seeing Seulgi for a couple of weeks and completely lost it on him. He said things about not knowing a good thing if it spat in his face and how he ruined every chance of happiness because of his own doing.âÂ
âWowâŠI didnât know Jay said that.â
âIt was scary. Heeseung tried to fight back and say it was his life and that Jay didnât have a right to say what he could and couldnât do, but the poor guy never stood a chance. Jay asked him if he would be happy if you came back to see him dating Seulgi and that shut him up real quick.â
âWhat do I have to do with it?â you ask. âHe rejected me before I left.âÂ
âI donât know,â Sunghoon says truthfully. âI always thought that Heeseung was trying to redeem himself through Seulgi. But I guess weâll never truly know.âÂ
âItâs been almost a year,â you reminisce. âYouâd think I wouldâve gotten over him by now after spending time in Europe with, well, other boys.â
âHeâs not just any guy who rejected you,â Sunghoon says. He looks out at the street, finding the words to say. âYou two had been best friends since before me or the guys got to know either of you. Thereâs a special kind of bond between people who grew up together, you know?
âI think a large part of you misses being friends with him. Sure, rejection always stings, but itâs knowing that you donât have your best friend that hurts you more.â
âJeez,â you chide. âYou always know how I feel.â
Sunghoon laughs. âIâm just observant. I know that itâs hard to be on this trip because Heeseungâs trying to be that friend you once knew. He probably feels guilty for giving you the cold shoulder during your first few weeks back in Seoul.â
You roll your eyes. âYeah, well heâs not doing a great job showing it. Life would be easier if he left me alone.â
âBut do you want that?âÂ
You cast your eyes to the floor. âNo, I donât.âÂ
Satisfied with your answer, Sunghoon nods.Â
âYou know, I knew Heeseung had feelings for you the night we played spin the bottle just before we graduated high school.â
âDonât be ridiculous, Hoon. He never liked me.âÂ
Sunghoon shakes his head. âDo you remember what happened that night?âÂ
âVaguely. I remember that being my first time trying alcohol and Jake having to cut me off when I couldnât walk straight.â
He nods. âWhen you were sober enough to string a few sentences together, some girl suggested playing spin the bottle. When it was your turn to spin, it landed on me.âÂ
You make a face. âAh. I do remember kissing you.âÂ
âWell you donât have to look grossed out,â Sunghoon teases. âEveryone knew it was awkward because weâd been friends for like, five years at that point. We were both so flustered that the kiss lasted for maybe two seconds before everyone cheered.
âHeeseung was pissed. I saw him looking at me like Iâd killed his family, or something. I swore I could see steam coming out of his ears. He wouldnât talk to me for a week because Iâd been your first kiss.â
âSeriously?âÂ
âDead serious.â Sunghoon laughs at the memory. âHe wouldnât answer my texts. In the group chat we were in, heâd acknowledge everyone but me. It wasnât until a week later when we were all hanging out that I told him there was nothing between us and it was awkward to kiss you in front of our friends.âÂ
You stand there, dumbfounded. âHuh.â
âIâve never told anyone that,â he confesses. âI doubt anyone remembers us kissing except for him. I assumed this would be a story Iâd tell you and the guys when you both eventually got together.âÂ
He murmurs an apology. âItâs okay, Hoon. Iâm glad you told me. I guess Iâm justâŠconfused. Why did he reject me if he allegedly liked me?âÂ
âI wish I knew. He was miserable when you left and refused to talk about you moving back to Europe for your final year abroad. Heeseung was really sad when he found out you werenât coming home for Christmas break.âÂ
âI couldnât bear to see him. I was so heartbroken and the friends here tonight were consoling me in the way they knew how. I knew Iâd be a depressed wreck if I came back home.â
âThat makes sense,â Sunghoon affirms for you. âIâm glad you met up with Jay while he was here, though. You got some kind of Christmas gift from home.âÂ
âMe too. I feel like Jay and I got closer because of it. I knew he could tell something was off but he didnât say anything about it. Something tells me he knows more than he cares to say.âÂ
âYou know Jay.â You both nod. âMore observant and caring than the rest of us. Part of me thinks Heeseungâs jealous of your new friendship with him since the two of you basically planned this whole trip on your own.âÂ
âWell, Jay has more international travel experience and his dad knows the right people,â you say with a shrug. âI spent four years of my life here. It makes sense.â
âTo us, yes. To Heeseung? I think his feelings cloud his judgment.âÂ
âHe never used to confuse me,â you admit. âWe used to talk about how much we hated when people made us guess how they felt or what they were thinking. We always said it was unfair if you make people you love, make you guess their intentions. But heâs doing that to me and itâs been driving me insane.
âSometimes I wonder if I shouldâve kept my mouth shut. I watched him date girls in high school. I watched him with what I thought would be his first serious girlfriend during our first year of college before he went through that short hookup phase. God, that hurt me so bad and I couldnât say anything because it wasnât my life.âÂ
âFor what itâs worth, I think it was brave of you to confess to him,â Sunghoon tells you. âI donât say that as a cheap cop out to make you feel better either. You know me, Iâm really sentimental about things even if I donât come off that way. To confess your feelings to someone who you loveâŠone can only hope to hear that someday.âÂ
You nudge your shoulder with his. âYou say that like you didnât have girls begging for a date.âÂ
Sunghoon laughs and you know what he means.Â
âYouâve always been the bravest of all of us,â he continues. âI think the reason why I wanted to be friends with you when we were kids is because you didnât take bullshit from people. I was too shy to stand up for myself between my career as a figure skater while trying to be a normal kid. You and Heeseung offered that kind of normalcy. I could see you two in the bleachers at my competitions and then weâd go out for ice cream like it was any other day.âÂ
âWell, now youâre going to make me cry.âÂ
âI mean it, Y/N. Youâre a great friend and a great person. I hope Heeseung hasnât fucked things up too bad that you leave his life for good.âÂ
You shiver. âMe too.âÂ
âTalk to him,â Sunghoon advises. âDo it before we leave. Youâre removed from your life back home.â You open your mouth to refute but he beats you to the chase. âIf it doesnât work out, then youâll know your answer when you go home and you can resume your life without Heeseung in it.âÂ
Sunghoon leaves you alone with your thoughts but makes you promise that youâll join the group soon.
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
When you walk back into the pub, Jake clouds your personal space before you can even think about ordering another drink.
âJesus, Hoon. Couldnât you have offered Y/N your jacket if you guys were gonna be out that long? Poor girl looks like sheâs about to freeze to death.
Jakeâs affinity for the dramatic never ceases. Your friends look at your goosebumps and the way youâre acclimating to the warmer temperature inside while Sunghoon merely rolls his eyes.
âIâm fine,â you say. âWe only came in because I started to get cold.â
âLet me get my jacket for you,â Heeseung says as he rises from his seat.Â
âNo.â Youâre sure you say it too abruptly, but you canât bear the thought of wearing his clothes after the conversation you just had. âIâm fine, honestly.âÂ
âStop being stubborn and wear a damn jacket,â Leo chides, wrapping his coat around your shoulders. âYou have this habit of never bringing one when you need it and it drives me crazy.âÂ
âBut thatâs what I have you for, donât I?âÂ
As you tug the material closer to your body, Sunghoon watches as Heeseung stares at Leo with a hard expression.Â
âNot when youâre back in Seoul, you goof.â Leo takes your empty glass. âIâm glad you have these guys back at home. They seem really good for you.âÂ
âI love them a lot.â You say it so tenderly with your head tilted as you look at the boys youâd call family, only for them to coo at your clearly vulnerable, inebriated state.
âMy mother, my older sister, and best friend,â Riki says with a hiccup as he engulfs you in a hug. âSeriously, I would be dead in a ditch without you.âÂ
âI donât know a better person,â Sunoo chimes in from where heâs seated.Â
âThere was one time where Y/N had this lemon phase where she couldnât stop drinking lemonade or eating lemon candy,â Jake tells the group. âNow I think of her every time I see something yellow.âÂ
âThatâs kind of fitting though, isnât it?â Leo asks. âYellow for sunshine.âÂ
Everybody agrees and it makes your cheeks and neck warm up. You hide yourself in Leoâs jacket, but God, Heeseung wishes he could hide you in his arms instead.Â
Still, he canât help but agree with Leo. If thereâs any truth to his words, itâs that you are made of pure, unfiltered sunshine.
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
The next morning, all eight of you board the train for a two-hour ride to Paris. For the next five days, youâll be acting as a tourist rather than tour guide, for the most part. Jay volunteers to take the lead since you did most of the heavy lifting in London. You do, however, chime in to give him a few recommendations from your prior visits to the city.Â
Sunghoonâs advice plagues your thoughts, so much so that Jungwon has had to guide you out of the hotel and into the cab before arriving at the train station. Both he and Sunoo look a bit worried about you, but you wave them off and tell them you had one too many to drink. You know they donât believe you but youâre grateful they donât press on.Â
Paris is much more beautiful than you remember it, and itâs likely due to the fact that youâre here on vacation, not because you wanted a weekend getaway to escape the stress of midterms and exams. The people are just as indifferent as ever. Youâre able to practice some of your basic French to order coffee and pastries for everyone. Itâs a feat that leaves Heeseung impressed and you try not to acknowledge him when you see his jaw drop.Â
The hotel itself is more beautiful than the last. You have the room with the balcony and double doors leading to a breathtaking view of the buildings and streets below. Itâs unlike anything youâve ever seen, even if the streets are littered with trash and the people are a bit too loud. It still feels charming.Â
The rooming situation is the same as London, with you in the single room and the rest of the boys to fend for themselves. This time, Jungwon, Jay, and Sunghoon are sharing the three bedroom with Heeseung and Jake sharing another, and Sunoo and Riki in the other double. The hotel mustâve miscalculated the rooming situation and put your single room at the end of the hallway away from the others, but you arenât complaining.Â
The first few days are filled with happiness and dread, namely when you see Heeseung as you begin your day. He has a knack for making you laugh until you come to the notion that you really shouldnât be finding his jokes very funny because he doesnât deserve that kind of reaction from you.Â
In fact, he doesnât deserve your attention after ignoring you for as long as he has. Seeing Leo again brought up memories of crying in his flat with Elizabeth and drinking too much wine to forget the pain temporarily. Your friends invited you to a night spent in the pub after Leo begged his brother to close it for the night so that you could have a free space to drink and talk about Heeseung until your voice gave out.Â
Your irritation carries over and Heeseung can tell when you move away from him when he tries to stand next to you. Heâs hurt but he tries to understand that you have a right to be, even if he knows in his heart the reasons why he acted the way he did. He just needs to find time to talk to you, even if the conversation doesnât end the way he hopes it will.Â
With two days left on the trip, youâve eaten your way through the streets of Paris and have done your fair share of shopping. Each of the boys had bought you a small token of their appreciation (Heeseung paid for your latte, Jay purchased a small wallet from Prada, Jake gifted you new sunglasses, Sunghoon a charm for your bracelet, Sunoo a bowl of pasta for lunch, Jungwon a pair of earrings, and Riki a new jacket that looks similar to his from back home). It warms your heart to know you have people who care about you enough to show and tell you.Â
The Eiffel Tower calls your name one late afternoon and by the time you all manage to walk up, the sun is setting below the horizon. There are couples around Heeseung who are taking photos left and right, one of which asks him to take a few pictures for them. He canât help but wish he was in their place, asking a stranger to take a photo of the two of you as he kisses the apple of your cheek. Heeseung snaps a few good ones before the couple thanks him.Â
It doesnât help that you look like a walking goddess. Truth be told, Heeseung wanted to buy you more than just coffee when the boys agreed to each give you something as a token of their gratitude. Heeseung had come up with a list of ideas he wanted advice for, but it was Sunghoon whoâd told him to keep it simple for your sake. He was right, as always, because you thanked him with a pleasant smile instead of ignoring him like you had in the days prior. Heeseung gets the feeling that you wouldnât appreciate a grand gesture from him right now.
He hates that he canât read you like he used to. He hates that the other friends know you better than he does, and he hates that heâs in the City of Love and he canât call you his girlfriend.Â
Riki and Jungwon are more perceptive than they let on. Heeseung sees the way their eyes dart between the two of you and how theyâve been trying their best to navigate the new dynamic. Riki, especially, hadnât been receptive of Seulgi the first time Heeseung invited her to a bonfire. Heeseung had overheard the younger boy telling Jungwon it wasnât the same without you there and that heâd rather go home than spend another minute getting to know someone who wasnât you.Â
At the time, Heeseung was beyond irritated and refused to speak to Riki for the rest of the night. Now, however, he understands why Riki acted the way he did.Â
You look so beautiful underneath a Parisian sunset. Heeseung knows heâs staring. Heâs grateful that youâre too preoccupied with Sunghoon taking photos of you. But God, he wishes youâd laugh at him like that.Â
âYou should talk to her,â Jake says from beside him. Heeseung jumps at his sudden appearance. âSorry, didnât mean to scare you.âÂ
âI want to.â Heeseung says it out loud for the first time. He wants to work it out with you and get his best friend back in whatever way youâll allow. âI miss her, Jake. I miss being her friend and I fucked up when I rejected her.âÂ
Heeseung doesnât notice Jakeâs eyes widen at the sudden admission. Jake had his fair share of theories and considered Heeseung to be his best friend, but even he knew there was a limit about what he was willing to share and what he kept to himself. Heeseungâs friendship with you was something he stopped trying to learn a few years after he got to know you; Heeseung had a soft spot for you and had no problem letting people know that. It wasnât until you mentioned to Jake that you hadnât spoken to Heeseung in months that he knew something was up.Â
âShe clearly cares about you,â Jake says. âShe wouldnât be on this trip if she didnât.â
âBut sheâs been ignoring me the past three days. And before you say it, yes, I know that she has a valid reason to, but Iâm hurt and I want to make things better.â
âYou have to let her take the reins and let her talk to you when she wants to,â Jake advises. âYou know how she is. Y/Nâs headstrong and she might not know how she feels right now, but she always knows whatâs best for her. Youâre good for her, Heeseung. Let her come to that conclusion on her own.â
Heeseung relinquishes his breath. âYouâre right. I justâŠmiss her. A lot. Things will never go back to the way they used to but I donât think I want them to. I used to pray every night that I could somehow make everything like it was before that night but now I want more than that. She deserves better and I want to be better for her, not that coward who was too scared to try something new with the person he loves.âÂ
His friendâs words bring a smile to Jakeâs lips. âWell I, for one, believe in you. I think the rest of the guys do too.âÂ
âI know,â Heeseung says softly with his eyes on you.
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
You canât believe you leave Europe in two days as you sip your wine. Jayâs father was gracious enough to reach out to his friend at the hotelâs restaurant to negotiate having this meal compensated. Itâs a gesture you hold onto and make a mental note to write a thoughtful note when you settle back in Korea. Jay sits next to you and partakes in the wine activities with you, namely picking out two different bottles to share with the table. Talking to Jay like this makes you feel otherworldly, like youâve gotten more experience out of life since you chose to study abroad. You feel lucky, in a sense, that your life has given you more than you expected it too.Â
The younger boys head upstairs after dessert and bid you all a goodnight in case they donât see you before falling asleep. For the next thirty minutes or so, itâs the five of you laughing away at the hotel bar like old times, reminiscing about embarrassing moments from high school or how difficult it was to hear Jakeâs Korean when he first moved.Â
The Australian leaves as soon as he yawns. Sunghoon, a little too tipsy upon standing from the bar table, presses a gentle kiss to your head when he says goodnight to the rest of you. Jay gives your arm a reassuring squeeze and you understand for the first time that he always knew you better than he let on. He says goodnight and tells the bartender to charge his room whenever you two close the tab.Â
Now, you and Heeseung are sitting together, mere inches apart as the Parisian sky twinkles with stars above the two of you.Â
Neither of you know what to say. You fidget with the glass and contemplate on whether you should head up as well. Heeseung can sense your awkwardness and wish he hadnât messed things up so badly that you canât stand to be alone with him without thinking of an escape plan. He misses when the two of you could sit in complete silence and still feel comfortable around one another.Â
âThank you for showing us around,â he speaks up before you can make the decision to leave. âI remember you talking about all of the places you showed us when you first moved here. Iâve always wanted to visit.âÂ
âReally?âÂ
Heeseung nods. âI used to be so jealous that you got the opportunity to travel abroad every time you talked about it. But I think I like it better this way, with you as the tour guide.âÂ
That brings a laugh out of you and Heeseung canât help but smile. He doesnât care if itâs the alcohol allowing your walls to come down. Heâs grateful for the chance.Â
âI used to write down places I wanted to show you,â you confess. âThere were so many places that reminded me of where weâd used to hang out as kids. It always felt like there was a part of you with me.âÂ
His heart melts. âI wish I couldâve visited you while you were here. Your friends seem pretty cool.âÂ
âThey are.â Heeseung watches you smile. âTheyâve been with me through a lot and helped me get over this fear of failing in a different country. My friend Suki, who now lives in Tokyo, was the first person to really get me out of my shell and convinced me to go out. Awkward Y/N? Going to clubs?âÂ
âYou know how to dance, though. I bet you killed it.âÂ
âA little too much, perhaps. I didnât date or hook up much, but there were a few times that I did.â Heeseungâs heart begins to sink as does his hope. This is not where he wanted to lead the conversation but his ears perk up at your next point. âBut I wasnât happy doing that so I stopped making out with random guys on the dance floor.â
âIf only thirteen-year-old you could see you then,â he teases. You bump his shoulders with yours and he feels electricity running down his arm.Â
âI think I did a good job adjusting and learning. There were times where I felt like I didnât know what I was doing with my life because I couldnât decide if I wanted to stay in London or go back to Seoul. That burden felt too much.âÂ
âFor what itâs worth, Iâm glad you came back home.âÂ
Your head whips to look at Heeseung, who can only sit and watch as your eyes begin to water.Â
âWhy didnât you say anything when I texted and called you?â you ask meekly, your voice barely above a whisper. âWhy didnât you see me when I came back?âÂ
âI know.â He gulps. âIâm sorry, Y/N. Iâm so, so sorry.âÂ
You sniffle and Heeseung wants to cry too. âEveryone came to pick me up at the airport. I kept looking for you but you werenât there. Jake had to pull me away from baggage claim because he said you werenât coming but I didnât listen. I told him he was wrong. You always come.âÂ
Heeseungâs soul breaks with every crack in your voice and with the way your lips quiver. He sees your mascara beginning to smudge and resists the urge to wipe it away so that your eyes may look fresh and dry.Â
âIâm sorry,â he repeats. âI have no excuse.âÂ
âI wanted my best friend but you never showed up for me. You didnât call or text me when you knew I was home and I had to wait until Rikiâs bonfire to see you.â
âI was an idiot and stupid,â is the only answer Heeseung can come up with. âI used to be so scared of change. You left the country and I had to start thinking about what I wanted to do with my life but it was so hard without you in it.â
âThen why did you leave me?âÂ
His heart shatters.Â
Youâve turned away from him in an attempt to walk back to your hotel room. However, Heeseung has learned his lesson. He doesnât let you stray too far and gently tugs your wrist to pull you into his chest and is surprised when you donât fight him off of you.
He doesn't care that your tears have stained his shirt or that youâre hiccupping into his clothes. All Heeseung wants to do is let you know heâs here for you now, despite his past mistakes and clouded judgment. Heeseung loves you for your bravery and vulnerability. He can only hope you understand that.Â
âLetâs go to your room, yeah? I can help you take your makeup off.â
Whether from the alcohol or your need to be near Heeseung, you let him guide you to the elevator. He digs in your purse for your room key and coaxes you to sit in the bathroom while he locks the door. This routine feels a bit familiar; in his youth, he learned how you like to take your makeup off and get ready for bed after a particularly rough night drinking. He could never understand why he hadnât minded taking the extra step and to keep himself sober when you were in the vicinity, but he understands it now.Â
Heeseung meets you in the bathroom and washes his hands before putting your hair in a ponytail. He bites his lips when he sees your fresh tears and mutters another apology, forcing himself not to wipe away the tears with his fingers. Instead, he lets you blot them with a tissue before gathering makeup remover in his hands and gently smears it all over your skin.Â
âI didnât like change,â he says after a quiet beat. âI was too cowardly to take what I wanted, even if the person I wanted said they wanted me too. I donât know why I didnât chase after you that night or why I thought you needed space before you left. I donât have an explanation for any of it except to say that I was a coward who never wanted anything to change between us.âÂ
Heeseung warms a wet cloth and wipes the balm away until heâs satisfied and moves on with your favorite cleanser, rubbing it between his hands until it foams.Â
âI think, deep down, Iâve always loved you more than I led on. I canât think of any moment in my life where you werenât there or times that I didnât want you around. Even when we were in elementary school and everyone kept saying we would get cooties from each other, I wanted you with me.âÂ
He lets you wash your face and applies the rest of your products on as you once taught him.Â
âIâve always had this sense of pride when it came to being your friend. Everyone always talked about how cool you were because you always knew what to say and when to say it. I love that about you, you know. You have a way of making people feel like theyâre really special. I donât know why I was so afraid of that.
âI love who you are and what you believe in. You make the world a better place for everyone around you. How you treated me was a small fraction of why I love you. I love your passions and that you arenât afraid to chase after them. I love that you stick with the same boba order even though you tell yourself youâll try something new. I love that you hate the beach but go with us every time we ask. I love when you get a little drunk because you donât fight me when I want to take care of you.â
Heeseung swallows. âBut mostly, I just really love you.â
You open your eyes for the first time. Heeseung can only stare.Â
âYou really hurt me.âÂ
He glances down. âI know. Iâm sorry.âÂ
âWhat hurt the most was knowing you werenât going to be there as my best friend, Heeseung. I could handle your rejection. I could find a way to get over you. But I could never get over losing our friendship. I never wanted you out of my life because itâs better with you in it.âÂ
âPlease donât get over me,â Heeseung croaks. His own eyes begin to swell and he forces a choked sob down his throat, aggressively wiping his eyes to rid himself of tears. He presses his forehead against yours. âI donât want you to get over me.âÂ
You donât say anything for a few moments. Heeseung swears he feels the blood rushing to his ears as he anticipates your response and heâs sure that even if what you say isnât what he wants to hear, heâs happy to wear his feelings on his sleeve for once in his life.
âI donât think I could even if I tried.âÂ
Heeseungâs heart stops beating. He doesnât kiss you even though he wants to. He doesnât take your hand and pull you into him like his heart tells him to. Instead, he whispers a quiet thanks and is surprised when he hears you laugh.Â
âI canât apologize enough. I donât want to make you feel like you have to do or say anything.âÂ
âI know,â you whisper. Heeseung's hands are dangling awkwardly by his side. He feels like pushing his forehead against yours was too much. But your hands reach for him and you give him a squeeze. Â
Heeseung throws caution out of the window and envelopes you in a hug. He feels your body melt against his and canât help but look at the way youâve folded into his chest in the bathroom mirror, with your head in his neck and his cheek on the crown of your head. Heeseung missed holding you like thisâwith your bodies intertwined as if you were two soulmates who were forced apart upon creation.Â
He stroked your back with his hand and kept the other secured around your waist. Your soft breaths touch his skin and it feels like heâs got electricity running through his veins.Â
âIâm sorry,â Heeseung whispers again. âI will keep apologizing until you know the depth of my regret.âÂ
The boy feels like heâs floating when you press a soft kiss to his exposed chest, mentally thanking Jake for forcing him to let loose and unbutton a few.Â
âYou could start by staying with me until I fall asleep,â you say. âLike old times.âÂ
He tries not to punch the air. âI can do that.âÂ
Heeseung waits in the bathroom until youâve changed into comfortable clothing. He isnât surprised when he sees you in shorts and an oversized shirt. Itâs reminiscent of what you used to wear when youâd sleep in the guest bedroom in his house or vice versa, but now that heâs acknowledged his feelings for you, he canât help but coo at how cute and sleepy you look.Â
You tuck yourself in bed with the blankets to your chin and he completely melts to the floor. You pat the spot next to him and he sits on top of the blankets.Â
âUnder the covers, silly.âÂ
âI donât want to rush it,â Heeseung says in a panic.Â
âWe arenât rushing. Weâre two best friends who got each other back.âÂ
Heeseung has never been more relieved. Though, he knows youâre a stickler for outside clothes in bed, so he makes the decision to take your key card and change.
âIâm not leaving you,â he says when he notices you rise from your spot on the bed. He holds two key cards to prove it and leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek. âIâm going to change and then Iâll be right back. I promise.âÂ
He comes back ten minutes later. It warms your heart at the sight of him and you feel the comfort in your body when he slides underneath the covers.Â
You surprise yourself when you move to lay your head on his chest with your arm around his body. Heeseung doesnât seem to mind, though, and he pulls you closer to him like youâve done it a million times before. The two of you have wanted this for too long to make it feel awkward.Â
âWhat did Jake say when you came into the room?â you ask.
âHe was half asleep until I turned the light on but he asked me if we resolved things. I told him yes and then he asked if I was staying the night with you when he saw me leaving.â
âAm I right to assume he was more excited about having the room to himself?â
Heeseung laughs. âThat you are.â
âDeep down, I think Jake knew weâd find our way. I think they all did.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â Heeseung whispers once more. You quiet him with a kiss to his cheek.Â
âI know, Hee. We can talk more tomorrow. For now, letâs sleep.â
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
The next morning, Heeseung wakes up before you do and frowns when your bodyâs all the way on the other side of the bed. He leans over your sleeping frame and brushes strands of hair from your face, admiring how serene you look in your sleep. For a moment, Heeseung ponders if itâs too soon to wake you up the way heâd like to, but if last night was any indication about how you felt, heâd be willing to take the chance.Â
He leans down to kiss your forehead and both of your cheeks repeatedly until your eyes flutter open. Heeseung thinks he could listen to your laugh every morning with the way you wince at the sunlight and how his lips touch your skin. Still, your gaze finds its way to Heeseungâs and you canât help but smile.Â
There was a brief moment before you fell asleep that youâd wondered if youâd been too quick to forgive him. But for as hurtful as the past year was, you canât help but acknowledge the steps he took during the trip in an attempt to undo all of the contempt you had built for him. You owe it to yourself to be happy with Heeseung.Â
âGood morning, pretty girl,â Heeseung says with his morning voice that sounds a little too good for seven in the A.M. âDid you sleep well?â
âSlept like a baby. I feel like one too.â
âThatâs because you are a baby,â Heeseung teases, kissing your cheeks and then the tip of your nose. âMy baby.âÂ
âI really want breakfast but Iâm too lazy to get up from the bed.â
âWe could always order in. Iâll pay.â
You shake your head. âIâll be too tempted to stay in bed and itâs our last full day in Paris. Letâs just get ready and have breakfast at the hotel restaurant?âÂ
The both of you are halfway done eating breakfast when the rest of your friends trickle in, joining your table and the ones next to you. It takes them a while to wake up, but itâs Sunghoon who speaks up first.Â
âIâm assuming you two talked?âÂ
âAnd made up,â you say with a tilt of your head.Â
âThatâs my girl,â Sunghoon says proudly, sipping on his coffee.Â
âIâll let that slide since weâre all friends,â Heeseung jokes. You laugh and, for the first time in a while, you donât feel guilty about it.Â
âI had the whole room to myself, too. I woke up and didnât have to fight anyone for the bathroom,â says Jake.Â
Riki nearly spits his juice out. âYou guys slept together?âÂ
âNot like that!â youâre quick to exclaim. âHe just slept over. Slept. As in, we closed our eyes and actually slept.âÂ
âBoth of us knew we needed our beauty sleep before dealing with the six of you asking us questions,â Heeseung adds. âBut for your information, we made up. We still have things to figure out, but weâre back to being friends.âÂ
âHopefully more than that,â Jungwon coughs behind his coffee. He merely smiles when Heeseung looks in his direction.
âI think you two should spend the rest of the day by yourselves,â Jay suggests. âWe can either meet up for dinner or whenever we have to check out.âÂ
âI second that,â Sunoo agrees. âYou two clearly need to talk.âÂ
âI wanted to go shopping with Y/N again,â Riki says with a frown. Jake presumably knocks his shin with Rikiâs, who clears his throat. âBut you two should totally hang out without us.âÂ
âI think we might,â Heeseung says, holding his hand out for you to take. He stands from his seat and encourages you to stand as well, leading you away from the table. âThanks for the breakfast, Jay!âÂ
âIâm choosing to be the bigger person because Y/Nâs been through enough,â Jay mutters when Heeseung is out of hearshot, making the table laugh.
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
âYou know, I think the reason why I had such a hard time reaching out was because weâd never gotten into something that serious before,â Heeseung admits. The gelato in your hand isnât as good as you remember it, but it does the job to cool you down on a particularly warm afternoon.Â
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âDo you remember when we were kids and how hard it was for me to talk to you about anything that was action movies or superheroes?âÂ
âGod, you and your Superman cape from fourth grade,â you snort. âYou wore that thing to school everyday. Your dad had to wash it every night otherwise youâd refuse to go to sleep.â Heeseung shuts his eyes at the memory.Â
âYou were the only person I felt comfortable pouring my heart out to, you know. You were always the first person I called when I needed someone to talk to, but then I was the reason why you got hurtâŠI think part of me didnât know if I was allowed to reach out to you.
âItâs a stupid excuse, I know. But when I heard you were coming back to Seoul a few weeks before you did, I couldnât help but think about how many times I couldâve texted you.â
âYeah, you couldâve.â Heeseung merely nods at your agreement. âWeâve been through a lot over the years, but I guess thereâs a first time for everything.âÂ
âI just wish I had come to this conclusion when it happened. I was so caught up in graduating and focusing on how I felt that I didnât consider how you mustâve been dealing with all of it. I donât think Iâve ever been so selfish in my life.âÂ
âI think the time you refused to let me be friends with Jake because you said you needed friends aside from me was your second most selfish moment.âÂ
Heeseung rolls his eyes. âQuit it. I was thirteen, okay?âÂ
Neither of you particularly care to do any sightseeing today. It feels nice to walk side-by-side without the company of your other friends. The juxtaposition of how you felt towards the beginning of this trip compared to how relaxed you feel surprises you a tenfold, but you suppose that comes with genuine apologies and forgiveness.Â
Youâre willing to admit Heeseung looks criminally good in black jeans and a striped button down. He wears his clothes so effortlessly yet still looks like he couldâve taken his wardrobe from a magazine. Youâve always found it a bit unfair that Heeseung always manages to look so cool without trying too hard.Â
âYouâre staring,â he mutters, looking at you from the corner of his eye as the two of you walk down a cobblestone street.Â
âIâm not,â you lie. You turn your head to avoid his gaze, but Heeseung thinks he likes seeing you this shy. Itâs new territory for him, one that he wants to explore.Â
âCan I ask you a question?âÂ
âGo for it.âÂ
âWhy did you forgive me so quickly?â Heeseung asks. âI appreciate it, I really do, but a big part of me feels like I donât deserve that just yet.âÂ
It takes you a while to answer. Why did you forgive him as fast as you did? For a week and a half, being in close quarters with Heeseung made you feel nothing but anxious and on edge, so why were you able to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of him?
âIâve always held onto the idea that youâre a good person,â you begin. âIâve always admired that you intend to care for the people you love and make them feel like they have a place in your life. Youâve always made me feel safe, like I could run to you when things got too hard.Â
âWhat you did was in poor taste, sure, but making bad decisions doesnât mean youâre a bad person. I know you, Hee. I know how you get when youâre faced with a difficult choice and how long it takes for you to come around. I was justifiably hurt but I think a part of me always knew youâd fix it somehow.âÂ
âI wish I could feel deserving of that kind of forgiveness.âÂ
âYou know me. You know I wouldnât tell you that if I didnât feel like what Iâm saying is true. Iâll admit that I shocked myself with how quickly I let my guard down with youâŠbut youâre Heeseung. You've been my best friend since the first grade and youâre the boy I happen to have a really big crush on.âÂ
Heeseung bites his lips at your confession, willing himself not to be too forward as to kiss you in the middle of the street. He sees your bravery and the way youâve put your heart directly in the palm of his hand, acting out of vulnerability even though the both of you knew he hurt you once before.Â
He doesnât say anything. He doesnât need to. Instead, Heeseung grabs your hands and locks his fingers with yours, squeezing three times to tell you he loves you.
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
The afternoon comes and goes with little to no plan. Heeseungâs a bit worried that he hasnât heard anything from the boys and heâs rendered shocked that youâve taken it upon yourself to let the day take you where it may instead of finding the next spot to visit.Â
As if on cue, Jay texts him with plans for the evening.Â
jjongcaprio: 20:00, PĂ©trelle. Itâs a five minute walk from the hotel
jjongcaprio: I made reservations for you and Y/N tonight. Donât worry about me and the boys, just take her out on a romantic dateÂ
jjongcaprio: The billâs covered. The reservationâs under your name btw
heeseung: bro i cannot ask you to do thisÂ
jjongcaprio: You donât have to. You and I both know Y/N deserves to be wined and dinedÂ
jjongcaprio: Plus I saw you looking at a few restaurants when we were on the train. I managed to pull some strings for you and got a last minute reservation for tonight
heeseung: thank you jayâŠi really donât know what iâd do without you
jjongcaprio: Itâs really not a problem, bro. Promise me that youâll try to be happy with her. The guys and I are rooting for you two
âSo,â Heeseung clears his throat as he looks up from his phone, âI think you and I should go out for dinner.âÂ
âWhere are you thinking of going? I can text the others and see if theyâre done sightseeing, or whatever it is theyâre doing.â
âI mean just us two.â He stands awkwardly when youâve turned your attention to him, his feet planted on the sidewalk beneath him as if thatâll help steady his beating heart.Â
âLike a date?âÂ
âYes,â he says immediately. âLike a date. I, Heeseung, am asking you out on a date. Tonight. At eight.âÂ
âI, Y/N, would love to go on a date with you. At eight.âÂ
The twinkle in your eye and your coy nature makes him feel like a teenager again. He leads you into the hotel and walks you to your door before stepping back as you step inside.Â
âWeâve got an hour and a half before we need to leave. Iâll come by and then we can walk together. The restaurant is only a five minute walk, so you can wear those new heels I know you feel guilty buying.âÂ
âTheyâre really pretty though,â you rationalize.Â
Heeseung nods. âGorgeous, actually. Maybe youâll be as tall as me if you wear them.âÂ
âWeâll just have to see, wonât we?âÂ
Heeseung bites his bottom lip as you disappear behind the door, locking eyes with you until youâre completely out of sight. Flirting with you like this is a completely new phenomenon for him. Heâs only daydreamed about what you might say if he said something a little too suggestive or how you might act if he dedicated a wink in your direction. Heeseung had never considered that heâd be the one flustered, cheeks reddening to the point where he starts to feel shy.Â
His nerves are endless as he picks out an outfit for tonight. Heeseung sends a quick text to his parents, who had pressured him into bringing nice clothes for a fancy dinner, and spends a few minutes updating them on the events of the past few days. His mother is pleased, to put it lightly, and sends a handful of emoticons to display her happiness. His father tells him words of encouragement before making Heeseung promise to bring you for dinner as his girlfriend, not just his best friend.Â
With the last touch of his cologne, Heeseung looks at himself in the mirror and tries not to think too hard about how he looks. Youâre Y/N, his best friend since he can remember, and youâve seen him with snot dripping from his nose.Â
âI look fine,â he says to himself in the mirror. âY/N will like the look because your mom picked it out and we know those two agree on everything. Absolutely nothing to worry about.âÂ
Heeseungâs only regret is he doesnât have a bouquet of flowers to present you with as he makes his way to your hotel room. He wipes his palms on his trousers and takes a deep breath before knocking on your door.Â
When it opens, heâs met with the sight of you in a short black dress that hugs your hips to accentuate your body. The dress itself is an elegant, spaghetti strap number with a flattering neckline paired with jewelry that makes your skin appear to be glowing. Your heels match well with the dress youâve chosen, so much so that Heeseungâs jaw drops when his eyes rake over your body.Â
âWow,â he mutters. âJustâŠwow.âÂ
âIâm not used to you being speechless,â you say mildly, closing the door behind you.Â
âYou look gorgeous,â he sputters. âI shouldnât be seen with you tonight.âÂ
âYouâre dramatic, Hee.â You give him a once over and Heeseung thinks he wouldnât mind you checking him out as you please. âYou look handsome as ever.â
He beams at the compliment and holds his arm out for you.Â
âShall we?â
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
Heeseung knows the type of person you are and what you value, yet he still renders himself shocked when you allow him to take control of the evening. He knows you donât need to have the expensive consequences that come with a first date or to be sipping the most luxurious wine to be happy, but Heeseung canât help but feel like you deserve to feel as elegant as you look every once in a while.Â
The host leads the two of you to a table with the most gorgeous view of the Parisian scenery. The twinkling stars paired with the dimly lit restaurant adds a romantic touch to the evening. Heeseung mentally thanks Jay for preparing wine recommendations so neither of you have to think too much about it.Â
For a moment, heâs worried that heâs reached too far out of his depth. The fanciest thing Heeseung has ever done with you is eat ramen after prom in your best outfits because you both came to the conclusion that prom should be spent with someone you actually like. Itâs funny in hindsight when he thinks about it now.Â
You look so beautiful like this, allowing yourself to be taken care of by him. Talking to you over the table feels like youâre back in Korea before all that transpired. The food is impeccable and Heeseung thanks his lucky stars that he and Jay got it right. You sing praises left and right.Â
Dinner ends much quicker than heâd like as the two of you finish dessert. The waiter tells him the bill has been taken care of and Heeseung sits in his seat awkwardly as you look out the window to see the view from outside. But he hears the live band in the background and sees a few older couples slow dancing from where he sits and makes up his mind.Â
âDo you want to dance?âÂ
You pull your attention to him. For a moment, he thinks heâs asked the most absurd question known to man when he recalls all the times you refused to make a home on the dance floor until youâve gotten at least four drinks in your system.Â
You surprise him.Â
âIâd love to, Hee.âÂ
The room disappears when he leads you to the dance floor. He mimics the other dancers and takes the lead, swaying your bodies back and forth to the melody of the music. You smell of vanilla and cinnamon, a scent so distinctly you that it makes him grin like a man in love.Â
âThank you for tonight,â you say against his neck. âI wonât lie when I say I feel like a princess.â
âThatâs because you are a princess,â Heeseung says, kissing the top of your head. âYou deserve to be treated like one.â
âI canât believe you pulled this off so quickly. Donât restaurants like these require reservations?â
He chuckles nervously. âAbout thatâŠJay helped me with the details. I was looking up restaurants to take you to if I got the chance before our trip ended. I guess he saw the list and chose the most romantic one out of the bunch.â
âI owe Jay a thank you.â
âWe both do.âÂ
âI feel lucky to have people in my life who care about me this much,â you say. âIâm so happy youâre back in my life.âÂ
âIâm happy to be in it.â Heeseung squeezes your waist. âDeep down, itâs always been you that Iâve loved. Thereâs not a single person who makes me feel the way you do.â
âYeah?âÂ
You feel him nod. âIâll say it until you believe me. Iâll even yell it in this restaurant right now.âÂ
âPlease donât,â you laugh. âI believe you.âÂ
The sound of the melody overtakes the conversation. You feel Heeseungâs steady heartbeat as he expertly moves your bodies together on the dance floor. When you close your eyes, you think of this moment and how badly you want to commit it to memory, no longer in anguish over the tribulations of the past year. It feels nice to let go of your worries, even better that you have Heeseung back.Â
âI really want to kiss you,â he murmurs under his breath. You pull your head back.
âThen you should kiss me.âÂ
Heeseung wastes no time and pulls you into him, one arm around your waist and the other behind your neck. His mouth finds yours when he decides he loves the taste of red wine on your lips. It feels poetic to be kissing you for the first time as youâre both dressed to the nines in the middle of Paris. To him, kissing you feels like a breath of fresh air and the start of something new. For you, kissing him feels like coming home.Â
When he pulls back, you search for his eyes.Â
âTake me back to the hotel,â you whisper.Â
Heeseung feels his heart drop.Â
âIâm sorry. We can go back now.â
You grip the collar of his slightly unbuttoned dress shirt when he moves. Itâs only then that Heeseung sees the want in your eyes and the pure lust that clouds your pupils.Â
âTake me back to the hotel.â
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
By the time your elevator reaches your floor, Heeseungâs dress shirt is completely unbuttoned with his toned chest exposed. Youâre barely able to detach yourself from his mouth when he pushes you out of the contraption. Your hand reaches for his as you pull him towards your room, digging through your purse when you feel Heeseungâs lips on the back of your neck.Â
âYou look sexy in my jacket,â he mumbles, pressing wet kisses to your skin.Â
âL-Let me find the key.âÂ
âSo sexy.â His hands slide up the side of your body until he grips your waist.Â
When the door opens, you pull Heeseung inside with you and lock it shut before pushing his dress shirt off of his body, exposing his muscular build and broad shoulders. You arenât shy about hiding your lust, gazing all over his chest and abdomen as you feel your core drip with arousal.Â
âI like it when you look at me like that,â Heeseung says. He reaches for your hand and places it on his chest. You take the liberty to glide your nails down his abdomen, feeling the way he tenses underneath your touch.Â
âIâm really wet,â you say as you eye the tent that has grown in Heeseungâs pants.Â
âAre you?â he asks. âYou wonât mind if I check?âÂ
You shake your head and Heeseung takes that as a green light, his hands finding the soft fabric of your dress before pushing his hand underneath it. He whimpers when his fingers come in contact with your wet lips. Itâs adorable, the way you push yourself against him to chase his lips while he fingers smear your wetness across the fabric of your panties.Â
âBed,â you mumble against his lips.Â
He follows where you pull him, loving the way you take control when you push him onto the mattress. Heeseung distracts himself to catch his breath from the overwhelming sense of pleasure to realize that youâve started to undo his belt buckle and take his hard cock out of his pants.Â
âYou donât have toââ
âI want your cock in my mouth,â you plead, looking him in the eye. âPlease let me.âÂ
You sit politely on your knees as you unbuckle Heeseungâs pants. His chest rises and falls in anticipation and he looks down at you to see that your mouth is watering at the sight of him.Â
Heâs already fully hard; he has been since you started unbuttoning his shirt in the elevator. You spit directly onto the tip of his cock and he bites his lip at the sudden contact before watching as you swipe your hand up and down himself.Â
Heeseung doesnât want to think about how you learned to do what youâre doing to him. He doesnât want to think about the boys youâve kissed or the people who got to see you like this before. What he does know, however, is heâs the only person from here on out who will see you on your knees if he can help it.Â
Your mouth envelopes the head and Heeseung emits a short grunt. The tension between you two begins to slowly dissipate as you fit more of his cock inside of your mouth. Your tongue expertly traces every ridge and vein as you push your throat down onto him, causing Heeseung to put his palms on the mattress and throw his head back.Â
You hum around him when he moans. Heâs itching to put his hand behind your head but refuses the idea, letting you set your own pace. Heeseung watches as you switch your angle, sitting up to rest on your knees to push your head further down on him. He witnessed as you spread your legs, a choked moan coming from his throat in conjunction with a particular gag from your mouth.Â
Thereâs spit everywhere. Itâs trailing down your lips and connecting to his cock when you pull yourself from his body. Itâs seeping to his pants and heâs about to speak up when your motion attaches itself to his sensitive balls, licking at its warmth while your hand strokes him from atop.Â
âThatâs it. Fuuuuck.â
He bucks his hips once and curses. Heeseung feels your mouth envelop one of his balls, the pressure of your mouth around it making him feel a kind of euphoria he didnât know was possible. Your mouth moves to the other to give it the same treatment before retreating back to his cock. This time, your hand massages him from below as you suck on him.Â
When you look up at him and wink, he decides enough is enough.Â
âBaby,â Heeseung pants, attempting to push your head off of him. He thinks itâs so sexy that youâre turned on while giving him a blowjob. âBaby, please stop. I donât wanna come yet.âÂ
You oblige and take your mouth off of him with a popping sound. You sit back and Heeseung stares at you through drooping eyelids in pure shock and amazement at how youâve managed to pull him to a near orgasm as quickly as you did.
âCome here,â he beckons with his fingers.
He attaches his mouth to yours and pushes his tongue inside of your mouth, exploring the warm, wet walls you have to offer. Heeseung decides that he loves the feeling of your tongue against his and lets you suck on the muscle.Â
You take your dress off to reveal sheer panties with nothing else on. Heeseungâs jaw drops at your beauty, but he also cannot believe how sexy his best friendâs body is. To him, you were sculpted from the hands of Aphrodite herself with great love and care. And itâs all for him.
âYou are so fucking sexy,â he murmurs, hovering over your body to press kisses to the valley of your chest. You let his hands roam and spread your legs to make room for him.Â
Heeseungâs head travels back to your chest and you watch as he envelops your right nipple in his mouth. âYour tits are just perfect.âÂ
He makes a show out of it, hands cupping your breasts to massage them as his mouth works on you. He pushes your tits together and shoves his face between them, inhaling your scent while his tongue gathers whatever taste your body gives him. Heeseung moves to your left nipple and uses his tongue to flick the hardened bud over and over again until youâre arching your chest into his mouth.Â
He grinds himself into your core with his pants still loose around his legs. It brings a moan out of your throat and he swallows it whole with his lips pressed firmly against yours. The friction feels delicious with the fabric of your panties against the hardness of Heeseungâs cock. He grinds against you with the help of your hips rolling into his, your natural wetness coating his cock in your essence.Â
Heeseung moves his head to kiss your jawline, moving his mouth all over the expanse of your neck until he kisses right below your earlobe. You let out a particularly loud moan when he does, and Heeseung curses.
âShit. Yeah baby, make those sounds for me. Let me hear your pretty moans.âÂ
His mouth attacks the area again and you arenât shy about it. Your hands tangle in his hair as he kisses your neck and grinds his cock against the wet panties, which have by now molded to the shape of your pussy.Â
Heeseung groans at the feeling of a particularly wet gush and lifts his hips enough to elicit a whimper out of your mouth. He experimentally lifts his hips again to align himself with you as he did before. The pressure must feel so good because your mouth hangs open with your eyes boring into his.Â
âThatâs it,â he encourages. âDoes my baby feel good?â You can only nod and he doesnât blame you. âThatâs a good baby. Fuck, youâre so wet, itâs driving me crazy.âÂ
Heeseung feels your legs wrap around him and the way your heel pushes his lower back into your core. He takes the hint and quickens his pace, wanting nothing more than to see you come for him.
âYou gotta come for me now, pretty girl,â he coaxed. âYou deserve to come. Wonât you do that for me?âÂ
Heeseung is sure that heâs never seen or heard anything more erotic compared to the vision of watching you come. Your mouth opens with breathy moans as you focus on your pleasure and your eyes squeeze shut as if youâre trying to savor the moment in your mind.
âAtta girl,â Heeseung praises when your hips grind into his. He keeps himself still and lets your body take over.Â
You eventually come down and realize Heeseung has yet to come, but thatâs the last thing on his mind. He sinks his body down to come face-to-face with your crotch and licks the come off of the soiled fabric of your panties. The sheerness gives him a sneak peek at your pussy, and he groans when he licks a slow, fat strip up your slit.
âYou taste so fucking delicious, baby.â He licks at you again, faster this time. âTastes like milk and honey.âÂ
Heeseung kisses your wet panties over and over again, his soft lips providing jolts of pleasure. His hands roam around the soft flesh of your thighs and squeezes them as if he remembers youâre all his to touch. The feeling is one you want to commit to memory, but it seems like Heeseung knows your mind is working overtime because he reaches his hand to find yours and gives it a reassuring squeeze.Â
You let his hand go when he pulls it from you to slide the useless barrier down your legs and to undo the straps of your heels. He takes great care to kiss your skin tenderly, starting by your ankle and making his way down just shy of where you need him the most. Heeseung repeats the process on the other leg until he comes face to face with your glistening core, licking his lips as if he doesnât know where to start.Â
âSuch a pretty pussy,â he says before placing a soft kiss to your clit.
He repeats the motion, kissing your folds like theyâre delicate antiquities that need to be handled with the utmost care. His lips become covered with your essence; he feels you squirm underneath him and uses the expanse of his palms to gently pry your legs open for him, soothing the soft skin of your inner thighs.Â
Heeseung tentatively licks your slit and decides he loves the sound of your moans when he has his mouth on you. He does it again, dragging his tongue to feel every ridge and crevice that heâs yet to explore. His mouth feels like a warm comfort with the slow pace he sets, licking you as if heâs trying to tell you how much he loves you without saying it.Â
âYou taste divine.âÂ
You look down below to see his hair covering his eyes and brush it away with your hands. Heeseung looks right into your soul and you feel your heart clench, causing you to roll your hips into his face. He merely buries his nose close to you until he bumps your clit with the tip, pushing his wet muscle into you deeper.Â
When your moans get lighter and your breathy sounds are the only audible thing in the room aside from his own moans. You open your eyes to see Heeseung humping the mattress below you. The sight is so erotic that you canât help but let out a loud whine at the thought of Heeseung pleasuring himself while pleasuring you.Â
He brings his fingers to your pussy and sways his fingers back and forth until he foregoes his slow pace, favoring a faster one. He abuses your swollen clit while you can only lay there and watch him play with you. Heeseung expertly inserts his middle finger into your seeping hole and bites his lip to concentrate on getting you to come again.Â
âI need it,â he confesses, bringing his mouth to lick you as he adds another finger. âI need you to come for me again, baby. Can you do that for me?â
âYes, Hee,â you pant. âI wanna come so badly.â
âYou can do it, baby. Youâve been such a good girl tonight, giving me the best head and letting me make you come. I think you deserve to feel good.âÂ
âI do,â you nod rapidly. âFuck, I think Iâm coming.â
âThatâs right,â he coos, hammering his digits into you while his tongue laps up the juices leaking from your pussy. âSo good. You taste so fucking good. Give it to me.âÂ
He doesn't relent until heâs satisfied. Heeseung cleans the come from your lips as best he can while sneaking his hand to his cock, pumping himself as he tastes your orgasm on his tongue.Â
âYouâve crazy,â you mutter as you settle from your high, loving the feeling of Heeseungâs mouth tenderly licking you clean.Â
âFor you.â He pulls his face away and wipes the back of his hand before pressing a kiss to your clit.Â
When he rises to take his pants and boxers off, he sees you with your arm covering your face.Â
âAre you doing okay?âÂ
âPerfect, actually,â you sigh. You remove your arm to see him with his cock in his hands and motion him to come towards the edge of the bed as you crawl on your knees before sitting upright to pull him into a searing kiss.Â
âThat might be the hottest thing Iâve ever seen you do,â Heeseung says against your mouth. âItâs better than porn, if Iâm being honest.âÂ
You grab his cock and stroke him. âIâll consider letting you take a video of me when we get back home if you fuck me right now.âÂ
âTurn around,â he says after an open-mouthed kiss.
You follow his instructions and he groans to himself as you present your perfect pussy to him again. Heeseung sinks to his knees and smacks your ass before shoving his tongue into your hole. He spreads your asscheeks apart and digs his nose against you, licking up the wetness and remnants of your orgasm like itâs his last meal. His tongue licks up your body until he finds your wrinkled muscle and presses a soft kiss to your tightest hole.Â
The surprise comes to him when you moan softly. Your body doesnât jerk away. Rather, you spread your legs further for him and Heeseung moans against your pussy before bringing his tongue to lick over the muscle again.Â
âFeels good, doesnât it?â he asks, dipping his tongue back in.
âBetter than I imagined.âÂ
âYou imagined my tongue in your ass, baby?âÂ
You nod. âIâve always wanted to know what that feels like.âÂ
Heeseung doesnât give you a verbal answer. Instead, he spits into your hole and watches it dribble down to your pussy, licking his way from your incredibly wet folds to your hole once again. He licks over the expanse with the surface of his tongue one, twice, three times before youâre whining for his cock. He wastes no time tearing open the condom and hurriedly places it on himself.Â
The first stretch of his cock in your pussy makes him see Heaven. The sharp gasp that comes from your mouth is music to his ears and heâs careful to sink himself into you slowly, inch by inch until youâre telling him he can go further.Â
His cock impales you at such a perfect angle that it has you falling to your elbows, your back arched so perfectly that heâs sure youâd be the most popular pornstar if you really wanted to be. He keeps half of his cock in you to allow you to adjust, but he underestimates just how cock hungry you are because you back yourself until heâs filling you to the brim.
âBabyâs such a slut, isnât she?â Heeseung wonders out loud. He grins when you nod. âI love you like that. So dirty for me.âÂ
âOnly for you,â you say, cheek pressed to the mattress when Heeseung thrusts in you.Â
The sound of skin slapping echoes throughout the room. It doesnât take long for your wet juices to glisten over the back of your thighs and onto Heeseungâs. His hands find purchase on your hips as he pulls your body close to him, loving the way your choked moans become muffled by the mattress below.Â
âSo. Fucking. Tight,â he moans with detailed thrusts. âSo. Fucking. Wet.âÂ
He climbs on the bed and plants his feet on the blankets, holding your body in place as he pounds into you from above. The angle has you seeing stars and rips moan after moan from you.Â
Heeseung grins wickedly. âSuch a fuckable body. So perfect.âÂ
His degradation paired with praise ignites a fire inside of you. You can only moan louder to let Heeseung know exactly how heâs making you feel and you canât help but think you deserved to be fucked exactly the way Heeseung is fucking you.
The pleasure feels like an explosion of a thousand suns. Your body is warm from the hours youâve spent in the hotel room and your neighbors getting a good nightâs sleep is the least of your concerns. Heeseungâs cock drills into you from above like heâs a sex god and it nearly brings you to tears.Â
He turns you over carefully until youâre laying flat on your back with your head propped against the pillows. He steals one from you and puts it underneath the small of your back to create leverage before lining up his cock with your entrance and pushing himself in again.
Heeseung thrusts like heâs got to prove just how in love with you he is. Your wanton moans fill the room with his low grunts as his cock continually hits the one spot that makes you see stars, over and over again.
But you know he could do more to make you feel better. He must notice you in deep thought because he slows his hips.Â
âWhat is it, baby?â Heeseung asks when he notices your eyebrows knit together. âIs this okay? Do you need me to stop so we can take a break?â
âTake it off,â you whisper. His hips have faltered and his pace stutters at your words.
âTake what off?â
âThe condom.â Heeseung nearly chokes. âTake the condom off.âÂ
âBabyââ
âI just wanna feel you.âÂ
Heeseung curses and his hips automatically drill into yours at the request out of pure shock. He canât lie to himself. Heâs thought about it multiple times since you left for Europe and as heâs come to term with his feelings for you. The cute fantasies about taking you on dates to dinner or drive in theaters transform into daydreams about dirty affairs in his bedroom with his seed leaking out of your perfect hole.Â
Still, he doesnât believe it.
âPlease, Hee,â you plead, arching your chest towards him. âLet me feel you. Donât you want to come inside me?â
âFuck,â he falters, his forehead on yours. âYou canât just say thatâŠI canât be risky with you.âÂ
âYes you can.â He watches you bite your lip and feels your hands push him off of you. Heeseung doesnât put up a fight when he slips out of your warm hole and feels your hands grip his cock, desperately trying to tug the condom off of him.Â
Heeseung sees the pathetic rubber in your hands when you bring it up for him to see. Itâs glistening and his mouth drools at the sight, lips parting enough as if he stares at it in disbelief. He groans lowly in your ear as he peppers a few wet kisses to your neck.Â
You spread your legs wider in the air and grip his cock in your head, pumping him a few times before letting his bare tip rest against your hole. His sharp intake is enough to make you bite your lip.Â
âPussyâs so wet,â he says against your neck, pushing an inch inside of you. âGod, I could come like this.â
âYou can.âÂ
âNo, baby. Gonna fuck you the way you deserve before I come.â
With that sentiment, Heeseung pushes himself inside of you until heâs fully sheathed within your walls. He relishes the way you gasp at the sudden movement and he uses this angle to his advantage, positioning his ear next to your mouth to hear your delicious sounds.Â
He moves his hips at such a pace that it makes you feel like your bodyâs bouncing on top of the soft mattress below you. Heeseung presses his chest against yours to kiss you like his life depends on it, tongue invading the privacy of your mouth but you couldnât care less where his mouth goes. He can feel your nipples on his skin and groans into your mouth when you clench at a particularly hard thrust.Â
âS-So good,â you stutter against his mouth with a breathy moan. Heeseung feels your arm around his shoulders, scratching at his back. âFuck, fuck!â
âMhm,â he coaxed. âSuch a good baby. You look so pretty underneath me.âÂ
With a new sense of purpose, Heeseung lifts himself to push himself into you at a deeper angle. He forces his hips into you harder, your hands coming to your chest to cup your tits to give you something to hold in the meantime.
âThatâs right, beautiful. Squeeze your tits for me.âÂ
You do, pinching and twisting your nipples until you hear Heeseung moan above you. It sounds nearly animalistic, the way his throat emits a groan that sounds so primal. He sees the dirty smile you paint your mouth with and leans his head down to press a kiss to your forehead before his hand comes to your cheeks, squeezing them between my fingers.
âYou like it when I fuck you like this?â Heeseung asks, hips rolling against your own pelvis. When you nod, he gives you a nasty smile of his own and gives you a few harsh thrusts for good measure before pulling himself off of your chest with his cock still inside of you.Â
Heeseung sits on his knees and pulls out just far enough where his hot tip remains buried inside of you, relishing in the panty breaths you emit as he watches your chest rise and fall. You look so beautiful to him with your hair messed up against the pillow beneath you and with a few faint hickeys on your chest and neck. Heeseung thinks that all of his wildest dreams could never compare to how gorgeous you look when youâre positioned directly where he wants you.Â
You donât complain when he pulls out to rest his cock on your wet, bare pussy. You wince at the loss and let him slide himself up and down, biting your lip when he grazes your swollen clit over and over again.Â
The man above you lifts your right leg so that he can grip you tighter. You relinquish any control left in your body as Heeseung curses and kisses the side of your ankle. He dips the head of his cock inside and thrusts shallowly as if to tease, but you know heâs exploring all the way his cock looks like against your own body.Â
It feels euphoric. The whole affair is dirty, but itâs the kind of dirty that makes you want to do it again. Itâs the kind of dirty that makes this night an event youâll want to remember for the rest of your night because Heeseung had poured his entire heart and soul for you to take.Â
For Heeseung, this pleasure is less about knowing you have him permission to put himself inside you. Youâve always been so sure of yourself and your body; itâs something Heeseung has always admired about you as a person. Growing up with your insecurities of relationships and dating mightâve made you feel like a late bloomer; to Heeseung, your tendency to keep your head straight has always been a testament to how knowledgeable you are about yourself and about others. You save yourself for people who are worthy of you, and god, does he want to be worthy of you.
âI love you,â Heeseung whispers from above you. His eyes are closed and he pays no mind to the feeling your pussy gives him. Flashes of your memories stitch together like a film reel with your laughter as the soundtrack. He doesnât think he wants to hear anything else for the rest of his life.Â
Just for good measure, he whispers it again. âI love you so much.âÂ
âAnd I love you.â
Heeseung opens his eyes to see your tender ones, cheeks flushed from the sudden compliment. He always liked that he knew how to get you to blush when no one else couldnât. This time, a sense of pride blooms in his chest.Â
âIâll never let you down,â he confesses. âAnd if I do, Iâll make it up to you. I promise.âÂ
âI know, baby.â Heeseungâs hand cups your cheek and caresses it. âI trust you.âÂ
Thatâs enough for him to release your leg from his grip and pound himself into you like his life depends on bringing you to peak happiness.Â
Heeseungâs palms are planted firmly on either side of your body as his hips roll gracefully against yours, the hot, wet mess between the two of you splashing on both of your thighs. He watches your eyes close shut and as your back arches to relieve some of the pressure, feeling somewhat proud of himself when he watches as your hands grab at the sheets for stability.Â
Thereâs nothing that compares to watching you orgasm. Your eyebrows knit as if youâre concentrating while your mouth stands slightly ajar at the euphoric feeling of that single knot thatâs threatening to come undone until it does. All of the girls heâs deluded into thinking he liked could never compare to the looks and sounds youâre making.Â
âThatâs it,â he coaxes softly. âCream my cock, baby. Thatâs a good girl.âÂ
Heeseung feels you push and clench around him, gushing until thereâs nowhere left for your come to go. He peeks down at where the two of you meet and groans when he sees his cock becoming painted in a sheer layer of white. It edges him on and the moment he locks his eyes with yours, his hips begin to stutter and he spills all he has to offer inside of you.Â
He comes with short breaths as if he canât believe youâve allowed him to do so. Your hips move up and down as if to milk him for all heâs worth while Heeseungâs trying his best to balance his body on top of yours, grateful that some of his gym workouts prevent him from completely collapsing on top of you to.
His come seeps from your bodies and he pulls out, a few droplets splattering on your pussy lips. He nudges the tip against it, smearing his paint across your canvas and marveling at the sight.Â
âMy good girl,â he murmurs, eyes locked in at his handy work.
âIâve never let anyone come inside of me,â you say with a fond expression. Your arm comes to brush Heeseungâs hair from his face before cradling his cheek when he looks at you in surprise.Â
âReally?âÂ
You nod, biting your cheek. âWell, I always knew you were it for me. I didnât want anyone else tainting whatâs yours.âÂ
âMine?â he asks, catching his breath. âYou mean it? Youâre mine.â
âIâm yours, Hee.âÂ
âAll mine,â he mutters to himself in disbelief.Â
You still feel his cock working itself against you. Heâs still hard, a wonder after your hours locked away in your hotel room. It makes you laugh.
âNo one has ever compared to you either,â Heeseung says. He doesnât take his eyes off of you as he continues toying with your pussy. âEven when I fooled myself into thinking I didnât like you.â
You laugh. âWell thatâs good to hear. I realized all the guys I went after while I was abroad either looked like you or reminded me of you.âÂ
âI can confidently and stupidly say the same.âÂ
Your laughs echo through the room. Heeseung pulls your body upright, not caring that your mixed come is leaking on his cock and his bare lap. He kisses you with tender care, lips moving at a slow pace while his hands roam over the expanse of your back while your hands are on his broad shoulders. Heeseung could live like this everyday if youâd let him.Â
You smile midway through when you feel his fully hardened cock against you. Heeseung apologizes quietly against your lips but feels you shake your head, pulling back to push him against the headboard until heâs comfortably seated.Â
He looks at your pussy when you hover above him, the white cream still sticking to you as you grip his cock. Heeseung canât believe his eyes when he understands what youâre about to do. Before he can even think, you align yourself with his cock and sink until youâre stuffed with him.
âShit,â he curses through his teeth.Â
âWhat good is coming inside of me if you donât do it again and again, Hee?âÂ
âThat might be the hottest thing youâve ever said to me.âÂ
âOh, yeah?â
You donât move just yet, opting to press small kisses to Heeseungâs face. You kiss his forehead, both temples, his nose, both eyelids, and the apples of his cheeks before placing a kiss to his lips.Â
âBefore we leave, I want you to fuck me against that window,â you say, turning your head to the window that glimpses the city below.Â
âBut people can see,â is Heeseungâs first comment.
âSo?âÂ
He chokes and when you feel his cock twitch inside of you, you canât help but laugh at him.
âIâve heard talk about your escapades, Lee. Why so shy with me?âÂ
He smacks your asscheek. âNaughty girl. Didnât know you were nasty like that.â Heeseung gives you that kind of teasing smile that has you folding for him all over again. âAlright then, humor me. What else do you want to do before we leave?âÂ
âIâd love to give you a blowjob while we shower, too.âÂ
âThat can certainly be arranged. Anything else?âÂ
You look around the room. âI kind of want to see you eat me out while I sit on the desk chair. Makes me think youâre some kind of secretary whoâs desperate for my pussy.â
âI am desperate for your pussy,â Heeseung reminds you. âWhat if Iâm the stone cold CEO and youâre the cute secretary whose ass I dream about?âÂ
You swat his chest. âThis is my fantasy. You can have yours when we get home.âÂ
Heeseung raises his eyebrow. âMm, you sure?â
âPositively,â you nod. Heeseungâs hands travel from your ass to your hips and guides you up and down his cock, letting you set the pace after the brutal first round from a few minutes prior.Â
âGonna fuck you in and on my car, since you like being watched so much,â Heeseung teases. His words seem to make your pussy clench and hips move faster. He forgoes any shyness when speaking about his fantasies and spills his every thought.
âI always thought you looked so cute in your old school uniform. Iâve always wanted to take you in that skirt they gave you.â
âIâll buy one of those sexy schoolgirl costumes and surprise you for your birthday,â you say, locking your eyes with him. âOh, professor! Is there anything I can do to raise my grade?â
Heeseung laughs at your antics, but the images of you in the costume aforementioned makes his grip on your body tighter.Â
âI selfishly want to watch you suck me off while I play with the guys.â He says it in a way that makes him avert his gaze and you can see a faint blush on his face. âI-I saw this video on Twitter. It looks hot.â
âI can do that for you.â You kiss both of his burning cheeks.
âBut mostly, I just want you to sit on my face. Mad at me? Sit on my face. Sad? Sit on my face. Happy to see me? Sit on my face.âÂ
âSimp,â you grunt, thighs burning from pushing yourself on and off of Heeseungâs cock.Â
âAnd proud.â He smacks both ass cheeks again. âNow what do you say, baby? If you ride me until you come, you can blow me in the bathroom before I fuck you in front of the entirety of Paris. Can you do that for me?â
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
The next morning, you meet Heeseung and the rest of the guys in the lobby while Jay checks out on behalf of all of you. Jakeâs the first to see you coming.Â
âYouâre glowing and I donât know if I like that.â He raises his eyebrow at Heeseung, who has pulled you into him by your waist.Â
âAt least some of us are getting laid,â you retort. âI donât recall seeing anyone do the walk of shame even though you had the room to yourself.âÂ
Riki and Sunoo donât try to contain their laughter as Jakeâs cheeks turn a shade of pink. He rolls his eyes when you look at him, but shakes his head and punches your arm with your first.Â
âNah, Iâm really glad you two got that out of your system and worked it out.â
âYou guys had major sexual tension,â Sunoo comments.Â
âThank God Y/Nâs room was at the end of the hall,â says Sunghoon. âI donât know how their neighbors felt but I can sleep peacefully knowing I didnât have to hear all of that.âÂ
âOkay, enough,â Heeseung laughs. âWe get it, we had a lot of sexual tension and now weâre fine.â
âSo you guys are boyfriend-girlfriend?â Jungwon asks.Â
âY/N is my girlfriend and I am her boyfriend.âÂ
âI will key his car if he hurts you again,â Riki tells you, looking at Heeseung after heâs finished speaking. You detach yourself from his waist and bring your arms around Riki to give him a squeeze.
âThanks, Riki.â
âOkay, we should call the cabs right now so we can get to the airport early,â Jay says from behind you.Â
âJay is such a dad,â Jungwon whispers.Â
He pays no mind to Jungwonâs words, instead focusing on the way Heeseung pulls you into his chest. It warms his heart in ways he canât explain.
âCongratulations, you two. Letâs go home.â
*â§ïœ„ïŸâââââââââââ *â§ïœ„ïŸ
add yourself to my taglist !!
taglist: @baevsxii @lillotus17 @syzavxy @mrmld @nikilvrfvr.
#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#kpop smut#enhypen scenarios#lee heeseung x reader#heeseung x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#heeseung smut#heeseung imagines#lee heeseung#heeseung scenarios#enhypen heeseung#lee heeseung smut#heeseung#tides of regret#my writing
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@multipleoccupancy . Theo's family gets bigger
The Baudelaires had been in New York for a few days now, living in the house of their new guardian: Theodore Beneventi. New York reminded Violet of the town where she grew up, only bigger. Much, much bigger.
Mr. Beneventi, who had told them they could call him Theo, seemed like their most normal guardian so far. For starters, he was not afraid of turning on the stove, which was very nice, because it meant the Baudelaires could enjoy a warm meal for the first time in a few weeks. There were no snakes in the house either, which, to be fair, was to be expected. And of course, here, they were not ordered to do horribly long and difficult chores.
The other thing that differed from their last guardians, was that Theo already had a family. He had a wife, Andrea, two sons, and a baby daughter, who was already getting along great with Sunny.
Violet felt like their luck might have finally turned. Even the terrifying shadow of Count Olaf didn't seem as scary, considering that Theo was an FBI agent. She did not usually consider herself lucky, not since the terrible fire that had killed her parents, at least. But for the first time in months, she was feeling much more hopeful than usual.
And, it's with that noteworthy hopefulness that she left the room she shared with her siblings, and tip-toed to the kitchen. It was still early in the morning, but she was awake and craving a glass of milk.
"Good morning," she said politely when she saw that the kitchen area wasn't empty. Theo was already there. He was very nice, and she already felt comfortable around him, so she poured herself a glass of milk. "The view is very beautiful from here," she commented, not only to make conversation but also because it was true.
#got carried away setting the context xD no need to match#if anything needs changing lmk!#&(killian beneventi)#violet (there's no happy endings)#(closed starter)#multipleoccupancy
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not his girlfriend
youâre not his girlfriend, but âŠ
You're not his girlfriend, but you're the first person to listen to his ramblings. The first time he realizes, he notices he's been talking for too long without taking a breath, and you're still paying attention to what he's saying. Microbiology. You know nothing about the subject, asking him to clarify stuff while he talks. He's surprised because everyone always stops him.
You're not his girlfriend, but he knows your coffee orders. They're all disgustingly sweet, as the teams point out, but he knows what to get depending on the day. No matter how urgent the briefing is, he goes out of his way to stop at your favorite coffee shop. Every day, you're greeted with a fresh cup of coffee and a smile.
You're not his girlfriend, but he comforts you after emotionally hard cases. You often find yourself in his arms after wrapping up the cases, resting your head against his chest, allowing him to stroke your hair. He'll spend the flight next to you, his pinky resting on your arm as a way to ground you without the rest of the team exchanging glances.
You're not his girlfriend, but you don't leave his side when he gets shot on the field. You hold his hand as the paramedics carry him in the ambulance, and you only let go when they take him into surgery. He wakes with you by his side, his fingers immediately intertwining with yours before he's even fully awake. You smile and tell him he's an idiot for taking that bullet for you. He replies back with a smile and a, "Better for me to be injured than you."
You're not his girlfriend, but he makes sure you're paired up on cases. He goes to shooting practices to prove to Hotch he can be on the field with you, to prove that he can protect you. He does the stuff you don't want to, mostly readings you don't want to spend hours on or bagging up a used condom from the toilet.
You're not his girlfriend, but you go to every nerdy event with him. Whether it's a Spock convention or some nature documentary showing, you're there by his side. No longer does he find the seats next to him empty. Instead, when he looks over, he sees you and smiles, because now he's not alone.
You're not his girlfriend, but his mom thinks you are. When you spend a few days in Las Vegas for a case, you visit his mom with him, meeting her for the first time. She greets you, smiling coyly at her son, asking you if you like dating her son. He spends the next few minutes trying to convince her you're just friends. And the rest of the month trying to convince himself.
You're not his girlfriend, but he kills the man holding you hostage. He's the first to notice you gone, and he's the first to burst through the door, gun out. He doesn't bother talking to the unsub, doesn't bother descaling the situation, doesn't bother to wait for the rest of the team to enter before delivering a bullet through the man's head. He doesn't bother stepping over the body before he unties you and takes you in his arms.
You're not his girlfriend, but he covers you with a blanket when you fall asleep. He turns the TV off, placing a pillow under your head softly, making sure you don't wake up with a sore neck. He strokes your cheek with the back of his hand, longing in his eyes as he watches you breathe.
You're not his girlfriend, but he wishes you were.
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ă
€ Â Â Â Â ă
€       â êâ đčâ â Śâ â ÖŽâ worthless talking â ÖŒ ֌  â§
Arguments with various characters
S1! jinx , S2! vi , S2! caitlyn , and ekko x fem! reader
arguing , mention of having a crush ( vi ) , hurt/no comfort , cursing , mentions of marriage ( caitlyn ) , drinking ( vi ) , mention of reader working in the brothel ( not prostitute ( vi ) ) , suspected cheating ( caitlyn ) , injured reader ( ekko )
not proofread or requested
masterlist à«ź àŸàœČ â â á navigation
love is my curse ( part 2 )
JINX
arguments with her are usually light and can easily be dismissed or solved quickly but this is very different. silco has been pressuring her as of late about her weapon for the hex gemstone; which has been stressing her out and getting more irritated by everything little thing. âjinx baby?â you spoke softly, trying to not make her anymore irritated. âyes toots?â she frantically looking back and forth at her parts and blueprints for her fishbones, âare you doing okay? do you eat?â
she shrugged her shoulders, continuing to screw the screws in. you silently gulped and walked closer to her. âlisten babyâŠcan you take a break or something? i donât remember the last time you slept or even eat andââ âshut up.â you immediately looked her way like you misheard her. âi-im sorry what..?â she kissed her teeth, â i said shut up! all you ever do is nag and nag around me! do ever shut up? iâm trying to work so i can hurry up and finish this project, but no you just canât seem to leave me alone while youâreââ she stops mid sentence, looking to see where you were last standing, ây/n?â she asked to absolutely nothing. she rolled her eyes, not bothering to think about you anymore, too focused on the hexgem project.
walking through the streets of Zaun, tears blurring your vision as you do your best to wipe them away but if anything you made your mind clear as day in Piltover; she doesnât need you there anymore. continuing to walk through the lanes until you reached your home.
VI
pitfights. you hate noâloath them. so imagine your reaction to hearing that your crush becamea pitfighter after that massive fall out with the stupid top side girl. you watched as a friend of hers drag her up the stairs then she starts pushing him off and telling him to fuck off. you watch as the friend just walked away; already tired of her bullshit.
you breathe, mentally preparing yourself and your lecture of what you want to say as you head up the stairs slowly until you reached the door. out of curiosity, you reached for the doorknob, and its unlocked. âof course this idiot wouldnât lock the door.â you thought, twisting it and slowly pushing the door, seeing vi collapsed on the bed but still awake. you clear your throat loudly, catching her attention as you stand close to the now closed door. âvi.â your voice cautious but fed up. watching her destroy herself over a top side is so pathetic, even jinx powder would laugh in her face. vi groaned tiredly, âcanât seem to catch a fucking break anymore.â
âfuck a break! what do you think youâre doing?!â you wave your hand around, as you often talk with your hands. âwhat the hell are you talking aboutâŠ!?â vi retorted back. âlook around you vi, and your hair! your outfit! youâre a damn pitfighter.â you pointed at everything you mentioned, âwhy?! is it because of that fall out you had with that stupid top side girl..?!â vi abruptly gets up and stands in front of you. the smell of strong beer and whiskey clog your nose, in her breath, her clothes, everywhere, âdonât you dare bring her up.â you scoffed, âwhy not? she treats you like shit but now youâre a floor licking puppy for her..?â you stare at her, raised eyebrow, âat least she was better than you in many ways than one.â âexcuse me?â âget the fuck out y/n. go back to being a fucking prostitute or something.â âiâm not a prostiââ she punched the wall next to your head, you flinch, hard. âout.â her voice threatening. your hands and feet quickly move as you open the door and fumble out of the apartment was vi was was.
CAITLYN
a lot has happened in a short amount of time, well, caitlyn proposed to you, then jinx blew up the council and killed her mother, then your fiancĂ©e became a damn Dictator and has been worked and training nonstop with Ambessa, and youâre starting to worry. she has been looking burned out a lot more and tired to even notice you sitting next to her on her desk as she stresses over paperwork.
âdear?â you twirled your finger around her loose hair. she jumps a bit, snapping out her thoughts and looking up to see her fiancĂ©e, you, âsorry darling, do you need something?â she fidgets with her pen and fingers, you smile at her weakly, âyour dinner is cold.â you point to the cold dinner plate, nothing eaten on the side table next to her. caitlyn sighs heavily. âright, i apologize my dear, illâŠmake sure to eat.â âthis is the fourth time dear. you canât be a commander with zero energy.â you cross your arms over your chest, âi know know iâm justâ âiâm starting to think ambessa was a bad idea again. i worried about all this pressure and process. like especially after your mother died, this isnât good..â caitlynâs fist banged against the desk, stopping you mid sentence.
âi donât need your pity or concerns right now.â you stare at her, confused. âwhat are you talking about right now dear?â âiâm saying you talk too damn much.â she stood up, the chair scratches against the floor and walks away from the desk, âwhere are you going?â you asked while sliding off the desk, âout. i need some fresh air.â you tilt your head to the side and keep your arms crossed, âfresh air? or maddie?â the blued hair commander stopped dead in her tracks, âwhatâŠwhat did you just say?â you scoffed, as you walked past her, bumping her shoulder. you open the door, revealing maddie with paper works in her hands, âiâll take my leave.â
EKKO
patrolling the area around the safe area, but your mind consumed with the thoughts of your boyfriend, heâs starting to overworking again. and thatâs pissing you off. months of you guys dating and he still doesnât get the memo. you sat on top of the tunnel entrance towards the hideout. staring up at the stars, wishing ekko was here with you.
suddenly, you feel a long cold metal jabbed into your side. you immediately clutch it to stop it from entering further until the culprit kicked you in the back, causing you to roll off the top and your body thudding against the cold concrete then you saw black. you wake up, the knife removed and youâre wrapped in bandages around your stomach and your arm is in a cast. your eyes adjust to the light shining down upon you, you wince as a headache rises and you hear muffled sounds of someone screaming your name. once your mind finally adjusts to everything, you hear ekko,
âhey hey hey! firebug! what happened?â his hands placing everywhere patting you down. you wince again, âekkoâŠthat hurts..â you fully open your eyes. âwhat happened? why did someone find you outside of the base, bleeding out?â he raised his voice, not scary but scared. âiâŠi was patrolling around the entrance andââ âpatrolling? didnât i say youâre not allowed to patrol unless iâm there?â his voice switch to low. âi can take care of myself ekko.â he gritted his teeth, âwell clearly you can not! look at you now! you donât ever listen huh?â he started pacing back and forth, âitâs like youâre deaf or something, i said no! and you do the entire fucking opposite!â he grabs his mask and hoverboard, stops to say something but rejected that idea and just left.
ekko was so hard to do ngl cause what has he done for to cause an argumentđ§ââïžand you notice how short-ish jinx is? yea cause i can never actually be mad at jinx.
Â©ïž A M A T E R A S U. all rights reserved. please don't plazarize, copy, or steal any of my works without my permission, thank you !
#â â â â â â â â â â đČàŁȘ ÖŽÖ¶Öž ïžÖŽÖ¶Öž amastarxoxo đ€ .#â â â â â â â â â â â Ë works ê°ê°â ââ ê±ê±#â â â â â â â â â â â Ë favorite ê°ê°â ââ ê±ê±#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane x reader#arcane jinx#arcane vi#arcane ekko#arcane caitlyn#jinx x reader#jinx x y/n#jinx x you#vi x reader#vi x you#vi x y/n#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn x you#caitlyn x y/n#ekko x reader#ekko x you#ekko x y/n#jinx x fem!reader#vi x fem reader#caitlyn x fem reader#ekko x fem!reader
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hello! could you please do an izuku fluff one shot where he loves to sleep with reader in her dorm? i use she/her pronouns but gender neutral would be fine aswell if youâd preferđ
âI LOOK BETTER IN THE DARK.â
IZUKU MIDORIYA x fem!reader.
summary: what the request said!
warnings: reader and izuku have known each other since middle school, izuku being traumatized đ, set before the second war!fluff otherwise i believe! kinda angsty for a minute.
a/n: guys⊠i miss him. heâs so sweet pls donât hurt him anymore horikoshi. also ily anon ty for requesting this omg. pls send more đ€
â
it wasnât uncommon for your boyfriend to randomly show up at your dorm. normally, he would arrive approximately ten minutes after texting you that he was going to try to take a nap.
but, you knew your boyfriend and you knew he would arrive with his hair tussled and eyes wide and disappointed â from not being able to sleep on his own. you were used to izuku knocking on your dorm room at random hours, youâve even grown accustomed to this routine.
currently, youâre sat by your door. playing with your matching all might keychain that izuku got you for your birthday when you were young.
knock, smack! knock.
you smiled at the noise, you made that knocking pattern up after one time while trying to knock on your door barely awake, izuku fell asleep and smacked his head off of your door then clumsily tried to knock to cover up the embarrassment he felt in that moment.
you stood up, rushing to your door. a soft smile already on your face.
âhi. i-â izuku tried to defend himself, yet again, he forgets that you are used to this.
âyou couldnât sleep, i know.â you softly nodded and motioned for him to come in.
he smiled crookedly as he rubbed the back of his head, trudging toward your bed and flopping on it.
it was late, around 9 pm, the moonlight replacing the suns glare.
you stood by the door for a minute, admiring your boyfriend.
he laid with one of his hands behind his head lazily, the other hand playing with your all might keychain. he looked so cute. his lips were turned upwards at the sight of the keychain.
the moonlight made his freckles pop, his dark-green hair looking more abnormally fluffier than usual.
you moved towards your boyfriend, plopping down beside him and lifting the covers over you two.
for some reason, your boyfriend just looked so ethereal during calm moments like this. just you two. no fighting for your lives or breaking bones. just peacefulness.
âi think i look better in the dark.â izuku mumbled quietly as he noticed your staring, he turned to look at you. his expression was shy and you felt your heart swoon.
you quietly chucked, âyou always look good, izu.â you softly whispered as he became flustered. the boy curled up against you as he moved to rest his head on your chest.
tuffs of hair tickled your chin, causing you to giggle slightly as you played with his shirt. he wore a shirt that you gifted him at the start of the year, to celebrate him getting into U.A. with you.
âwhat happened to napping in your own room today?â you teased, not noticing your boyfriend moving his hand so it was closer to yours.
âi had a nightmare.â
your teasing smile dropped, you shouldâve known. izukuâs been having terrors constantly after the first war. it was miracle when you and your classmates had even convinced him to come back to U.A. and rest.
âsorry, they just donât happen when iâm with you.â he said quietly after noticing your silence, his words slightly muffled into your chest as you kissed his head.
âiâm glad they donât.â you looked down, noticing his hand beside yours, he has been awkwardly fiddling with the sheets this whole time. he was scared to hold your hand. he didnât want to hurt you.
you softly sighed, interlocking your fingers with his. you knew he felt safe when people held his hands. izuku began drifting into a slumber, the feeling of you holding his hand comforting him.
âi love you.â
you looked down at him, expecting him to reply only to see his eyes shut, mouth opened slightly as he slept. you felt your own eyes close as you basked in the feeling of holding your lover.
izuku midoriya is one of the strongest people on earth right now but when heâs with you, heâs just your izuku. just a kid who deserves a break from society and a well rested sleep.
-
a/n: my baby. THIS WAS A LITTLE OFF TRACK and very short, iâm sorry anon i got a little carried away đđ i hope you enjoyed this! đ«¶
SEND REQUESTS! đ€
#izuku midoriya fluff#izuku fluff#deku fluff#izuku midoriya#izuku x reader#izuku midoria x reader#deku x reader#mha#mha x reader#bnha fluff#bnha x reader#mha fluff#mha headcanons#mha scenarios#mha imagines#mha angst#mha spoilers#bnha imagines#bnha#izuku deserves better#izuku x y/n#izuku x fem reader#izuku midoriya x reader#mha izuku#bnha izuku#deku#deku x y/n#midoriya fluff#midoriya izuku#midoriya izuku x reader
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Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 2
(Rafe Cameron x Reader series, 4.9k words)
series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
âą series masterlist
After weeks of all-nighters and cramming for finals, sleeping in on your first morning at the beach house felt incredible. It was only 9:30 when you finally stirred in the comfy bed, but it felt late in the day.
Coming down the stairs in your pjs and slippers, you smiled at the sound of your sisterâs voice, joking around with her old friends. Your goal this trip was for her to have a good time, and despite the emotional rollercoaster of seeing Rafe yesterday, at this moment, you were glad you decided to stay. You entered the room to see half the house was awake, though neither Rafe or Tom had made an appearance yet.
âLadies and gentleman, itâs Kerri Walsh Jennings!â Topper deepened his voice like a sports announcer when you entered the kitchen. The few people who were up all turned to you, playfully bowing and applauding like you were a true Olympian. You grinned and rolled your eyes, surprised at how comfortable you felt with the unprecedented attention.
Topper was at the stove flipping pancakes for everyoneâs breakfast, wearing an apron that said âkiss the cook.â As you approached the kitchen island to grab a stool next to your sister, he leaned over, holding the spatula like a microphone.
âSo tell us, Kerri, now that youâve won the gold what will you do next?â
âWell, Top,â you played along. âFirst, Iâm going to get some coffeeâŠthen Iâm going straight to Disneyland!â
Everyone in the kitchen laughed, making the tips of your ears turn red. No one ever laughed at your jokes in high school, not that you were confident enough to make many. Rafe would tell you sometimes that you were funny, so long as no one was around to hear him admit it.
âWell I can help you with the first part,â Topper said, grabbing a mug and the coffee pot.
âWow, so domestic of you, Topper,â you teased as he poured your steaming coffee in front of you.
âHeâs our house mother,â Carter said, smiling wide at Topper who did a jokey little curtsy motion. Clearly this was a running joke between them.
Topper handed you a plate of pancakes, which Kelce promptly reached over your shoulder to steal.Â
âSince when are you such an athlete?â Kelce asked, his mouth already full with your breakfast.
You told them all about your team at school, surprised out of your mind that everyone was actually listening intently.
Rafe woke up groggy and sore, ducking his head as he walked through the basement and made his way up the rickety steps. As he reached for the handle of the door which opened into the kitchen, he smiled at the sound of your voice on the other side. His smile quickly faded when he heard Kelce interrupt you with, âYeah and you kicked Rafeâs ass, too, made him your bitch.â
âI wouldnât go that far.âÂ
Every head in the kitchen whipped towards the sound of Rafeâs voice as he emerged, except for yours. You shuffled slightly on your stool and sipped your coffee. Rafe didnât miss the way you were ignoring him, his eyes grazing quickly over the smoothe skin of your shoulders before redirecting to anything he could find.Â
âCute apron, Top,â he landed on.
âThanks man,â Topper said, ignoring his mocking tone. âWant some flapjacks?â
âEw, who calls them flapjacks?â Carter burst out laughing.Â
âWell now you donât get any,â Topper scolded, pulling her plate away from her and handing it to Rafe.
âI donât want âem if Carterâs put her mouth near them,â Rafe mocked. âWe donât know where sheâs been.â
âSays the guy who licked the gym floor in seventh grade,â you said quietly.
The entire room came to a halt, everyone surprised at the sound of you joining in on the teasing. No one had actually heard you address Rafe yet. The awkwardness hung in the air, all eyes going wide as they waited to see if the notorious hothead was going to be able to take what he was dishing out. You just picked at your pancakes with your fork and hoped everyone would move on, but Rafe smirked at you, a playful twinkle in his eye.
âThat was on a dare,â he defended himself.
When you finally looked up at him, your stomach twisted into a knot as you noticed how cute he looked in his white undershirt and grey sweats, messy bedhead and sleepy eyes. You immediately regretted acknowledging that you remembered something he did so long ago. Now, he was looking at you with something like excitement, smug that you were talking to him, like your big triumph the day before had never happened.Â
âOh, I didnât remember that part.â It was a lie, you remembered everything he ever said or did.
Rafeâs face dropped at your impassive tone, his brief window of hope that all was forgiven slammed shut.
To your great relief, Tom chose that moment to enter the room, drawing the attention away from you and Rafe. He had apparently been out on a run, and his under armor shirt, wet with sweat, clinged to his form to reveal a sculpted chest below.
âHow we doinâ everyone?â His cheery voice boomed. He slapped Topper on the back before giving Kelce a frat bro handshake across the counter. âWhat do we have here?â He whistled appreciatively at the spread Topper had put out.
As Topper rattled on about the many flavors and shapes of pancakes he could offer, Tom looked over at you with a cheeky smile and mouthed âgood morning!â You smiled back with a little wave, butterflies erupting in your stomach at the way he was singling you out.Â
After the volleyball game last night, youâd all gone to a seafood restaurant on the water. Tom had chosen the seat next to you, and made extremely pleasant dinner company. He asked you all about yourself, about school and what you were planning for the future. He was a great listener, and you were so glad to have someone to chat normally with without the baggage of your childhood hanging over your head. You hoped the week would hold many more cozy conversations with him.
Unbeknownst to you, Carter was watching as you smiled at him in the kitchen, and so was Rafe. They had very different looks on their face as they realized at the same moment that something was happening between you and Tom.
After Topper and Kelce reclaimed Tomâs attention, talking over each other about their plans to go fishing later, Carter squeezed your elbow and motioned with a nod for you to follow her out onto the patio.Â
âUmmm, okay, what was that?â Carter asked with arched eyebrows once you were settled on the patio couch next to her.
âOh my god I know. I shouldnât have said anything, do you think everyone will think itâs weird I remember something he did in seventh grade?â You asked worriedly.
Carter scrunched her brows in confusion for a minute before waving you off with her hand. âOh, no not Rafe, heâs old news. Iâm talking about your little moment with Tom!â
âOh, uh,â you cleared your throat, embarrassed that you were still lingering on Rafe when she clearly wasnât. âI donât know, heâs nice.â
âHeâs fucking gorgeous is what he is,â she fanned herself theatrically.
âAre you into him?â Your stomach dropped at the thought that she might be interested. In your eyes, Carter always had first pick, and surely if Tom thought she was interested heâd choose her over you in a heartbeat.
âNo,â she shook her head. âIâm having too much fun messing with Topper.â
You laughed hard at that, âyeah, I noticed. Are you two back on again?â
âMaybe,â she shrugged. âYou think if I play my cards right I could get him to propose?â
âI think you could probably get him to do just about anything,â you chuckled.
âOkay, then itâs settled, Iâve got Topper and you,â she poked at your side and you swatted her hand away, âwill make a move on Tom.â
âI donât know about âmake a move,â you took a long sip of your coffee, suddenly anxious.
Carter eyed you curiously, recognizing the insecurity she hoped you had left behind now that things were going so well. She didnât understand how you still couldnât see how amazing you are, but she was determined to prove it to you by the end of this trip.
Rafe did his best not to stare at you through the sliding door, but when he heard your melodic laugh float in through the screen, he couldnât help the way his head snapped toward the sound, wishing desperately that it was him making you laugh like that. You used to laugh at all his jokes, and heâd taken it for granted. The sad thing was, he actually loved hanging out with you. You had a great sense of humor, and he always felt so comfortable when it was just you and him. He knows now he shouldâve just called it what it was, been with you in public too. But he had so many eyes on him back then, and he was worried what people would think. Plus, he knew youâd stick by him even if he treated you like shit, and he took advantage of that. He kicked himself mentally, feeling like a Grade A chump while you sat there, looking beautiful in the ocean breeze, smiling through the window at some guy youâd met yesterday.
As he lost himself in his thoughts, Topper noticed him staring at you, a knowing smirk tugging at his lips.
âShe looks good, huh?â He asked Rafe.
âWhat?â Rafe shook his head as if he could erase the thoughts that were plaguing him. âWho?â
âOh, come on,â Topper nodded towards you and Carter on the deck.
âI dunno,â Rafe tried to play it off. âShe looks the same I guess, a little different.â
âBro,â Topper gave him an incredulous look. âSheâs a fucking smokeshow. Youâre into her, donât even try and fool me.â
âIf you're so into her, why donât you go for her?â Rafe snapped at him.
Topper shook his head, âmaybe because Iâm not the one she was obsessed with for a decade.â
âShe wasnât obsessed with me,â Rafe protested. âWe were friends.â
âRight,â Topper said sarcastically. âAnd I was a number one draft pick. Dude, she was in love with you, everyone knew it.â
Rafe leaned forward on the counter, propped on his elbows, looking down at his uneaten pancakes with a frown. His stomach twisted with guilt. Of course everyone knew, he knew it too. And heâd be lying if he said he didnât use your adoration of him to his advantage from time to time. Okay, all the time. He couldnât really blame you for still being mad at him, he was a dick. But he liked to think heâd grown some since then, not that you had any reason to give him a chance to prove it.
âI think sheâs into your buddy, Dom, or whatever his name is,â Rafe grumbled.
âFirst of all,â Topper pointed the spatula at him, âyou know his name is Tom. And second of all, I love the guy, but heâs got nothing on you. Give me one day, sheâll be back.â
âDonât do anything weird, man,â Rafe warned, cringing at the thought of what kind of damage an unsupervised Topper could inflict.
âDonât worry dude, I got it handled,â Topper assured him.
Rafe just chuckled and sipped his coffee, knowing this was a losing battle, âwhatever you say, Top.â
The door slid open and you and Carter reentered the kitchen. Tom stood from his place at the little breakfast nook when you walked in, and you were relieved that he ended his conversation with Maddie and Sabrina so abruptly at the sight of you. He smiled down at you before heading into the kitchen to help Topper clean up. Rafe was noticeably not helping, sitting at the counter scrolling on his phone.
âNo phones,â Carter said, swiping it from him.Â
âGive it,â he held his large hand out to her, jaw ticking with annoyance.
âCâmon Rafe, donât you want to live in the present?â She badgered.
He tried to grab it quickly, but she lifted it above her head, tossing it to Kelce on the other side of the counter, who tossed it to Topper, and the game of hot potato continued, much to Rafeâs chagrin.
âYâall are children,â he scowled, sitting back on the stool in defeat.
âWho are you even texting? All your friends are here,â Carter jeered.
âI was looking up directions to the grocery store, seeing as thereâs no fucking food in this house besides beer, and apparently pancake mix,â Rafe explained.
âNo need,â Topper said. âTom, Kelce and I are spending the day on the water and weâll grab some stuff on the way back.â
Carter frowned at the thought of both of your boys being gone the whole day, leaving little to distract you from Rafe. This wouldnât do.
âNo, you canât go out today, we're having a cookout!â She announced to the room.
âWe are?â Kelce scratched his head.
âYes, we are,â Carter nodded confidently, wrapping her arm around Topperâs waist, which you knew was all it would take to get him to agree. âAnd mom here is going to grill for us.â
âOh am I?â Topper asked, eyebrows raised in amusement, not exactly protesting.
âYes, so someone else will need to go get the food,â Carter continued. You knew her well enough to see that a whole plan was unfolding in her head. âSissy, why donât you go?â
âThatâsâŠfine,â you agreed reluctantly, narrowing your eyes at her, trying to figure out her play. âI need someone to go with me though, weâll need a lot of stuff.â
Carter and Topper smiled in sync, both thinking theyâd just come up with the best idea anyone has ever had.
At the same moment that Carter blurted out, âTom can go with you!â Topper loudly suggested, âRafe can take you!â
Your lips forming a tight line, you gave them both an exasperated look. Their heads snapped toward each other, eyeing each other suspiciously. Rafe scratched the back of his neck, annoyed at Topper for butting in and hating himself for hoping youâd choose to go with him and not Tom.
Tom, meanwhile, was watching all four of you from the corner of the room, never more confused in his life.
âItâs cool,â he said hesitantly, the awkwardness palpable. âAll three of us can go.â
âFine, but Iâm driving,â Rafe stood from his seat. âCan I have my phone back now please?â
He reached his hand to Kelce, who was the last to have it. Kelce panicked, wanting to keep the game going, and tossed it to you. You very nearly dropped it, letting it bounce between your hands but eventually securing it before it fell.
You just looked at it in your hands, then up to Rafe and Tom, searching for any way out of what was sure to be an uncomfortable outing without being rude. You came up with nothing.
âI guess Iâll go get dressed,â you handed Rafe his phone, making Kelce shake his head at you in disappointment.
The hum of the truckâs engine was the only sound in the car for a solid five minutes. You sat in the front seat, Tom having opened your door for you, while Rafe drove. You suddenly couldnât remember what people do with their hands when theyâre not driving. Where the hell do you put your hands? Tomâs voice cut through your internal panic.
âSo, uh Rafe, Top says you went to Chapel Hill?â He inquired, sitting forward in the backseat so his head appeared between you and Rafe,
âStill do,â Rafe said curtly.
You looked at Rafe for the first time since pulling out of the beach house driveway. You wanted to ask him why he hadnât graduated on time, always more invested in his academics than he was, but you were trying to pretend you didnât care.
âNice, man,â Tom tried to keep the conversation going. âI applied there, itâs hard to get in.â
âI guess I just hit the books a little harder than you then,â Rafe shrugged.
A scoff escaped you before you had the chance to stifle it. Rafeâs hands tightened on the steering wheel.
âWhat was that?â Rafe looked sideways at you for a moment.
âNothing,â you crossed your arms over your chest.
âNo, please share,â he prodded. You couldnât believe he was copping an attitude with you.
âItâs just, Iâm sure your last name had nothing to do with your acceptance,â you quipped.
Rafeâs jaw clenched and you smirked in satisfaction, pleased that you had gotten under his skin. Tomâs eyes flicked between the two of you, trying to decipher the vibe.
You were glad he didnât try to attempt any further small talk. Once you got to the grocery store, you divided the shopping list three ways and split up to your designated aisles. You filled your cart as fast as you could, eager to get this shopping trip over with.
After checking everything off your list, you rounded the corner of the produce section toward the registers, your cart nearly crashing into Rafeâs. His entire shopping cart was filled with alcohol. You laughed at the sight.Â
âWhat?â Rafe asked defensively.
âWhat are the rest of us gonna drink?â You smirked.
âShut up,â he grinned. âItâs not all for me.â
âOkay but where is the stuff you were supposed to get?â
âItâs under there somewhere,â he mused.
âSure,â you just shook your head with a smile and kept walking towards the register.
âShit, wait,â Rafe rolled his cart to you and ran back down one of the aisles.
âNo donât worry about me, I got it,â you muttered to yourself bitterly.
You started pushing both carts but Rafe appeared quickly at your side again.
âGot it,â he breathed, adding one more thing to his cart.
It was a case of Redbull. You shifted on your feet uncomfortably, looking down into his cart. Redbull was his drink of choice in high school, you used to buy him one every day and bring it to him after practice, like a puppy fetching the morning paper. Rafe eyed you nervously, your soured expression leading him to believe you remembered just as well as he did.Â
âOld habits die hard, huh?â You joked, trying to break the tense moment.Â
âYeah, canât seem to kick that one,â he replied, relieved that you were the first to acknowledge it.
Tom caught up with you at check-out, his cart actually full of the things he was supposed to get. The three of you unloaded your goods to be rung up by a 16-year-old cashier who could not have been more annoyed that you had chosen his register.
Tom jumped in to help bag the groceries, chatting happily with the bag boy as he assisted. Rafe, however, stood there staring at his phone.Â
After you finished emptying your cart, you watched Tom with a smile while he charmed the grocery store staff. Rafe looked up from his screen with a frown, stomach dropping when he saw that you were watching Tom with an affectionate smile.
âIs that everything?â The cashier asked hopefully.
You were about to say "yes" and also maybe "sorry" when Rafe cut you off.
âNo wait, these too,â he reached toward the shelf and grabbed your favorite candy, looking at you expectantly as he handed it to the cashier.
âYour favorite,â he explained bashfully at the sight of your furrowed brows.
âYeah, it is,â you agreed. âJust surprised you remember. Thanks.â
You looked at him for a moment longer than you should, your eyes lingering on each otherâs as you shared another silent memory. You felt a twinge of nostalgia that you knew you shouldnât.
While you and Rafe looked at each other, Tom pulled out his black card and entered it into the machine. Rafe noticed a moment too late and scrambled to pull his wallet from his pocket, fumbling for his credit card.
âOh no, hey man, I was gonna get it,â Rafe finally pulled out the credit card he was looking for but Tom was already signing the screen with his finger.
âNo worries dude,â Tom brushed him off politely. âYou can get me back later this week.â
Rafe was the most competitive person you knew, and the richest, surely he wasnât going to let another guy pay for everything and walk away. He opened his mouth like he was going to argue with Tom, but with a glance back at you he closed it again. Then he carried as many bags to the car as one person could possibly hold, mumbling something like "multiple trips are for pussies."Â
Another fifteen minutes of painful silence might just make your head explode, you thought. The second you were back in the truck, the bed overflowing with groceries, you asked Rafe for the aux.
âWhat are you gonna play?â He sideyed you as he held it just out of reach. You leaned across the console to snatch it from his hands, and he felt pins and needles where your hand had brushed him. He wondered if you realized it was the first time you'd touched each other in four years.
The two of you had always fought over the aux, youâd eventually give in to his pouting and listened to his shitty house mixes and soundcloud rappers.
âDonât worry about it,â you waved him off with a grin.
Four years ago, you would have been way too nervous to play what you truly wanted to listen to, afraid Rafe wouldnât think it was cool enough. But now, you pressed play on your go-to playlist with gusto and beamed when your absolute favorite song started booming through his subwoofers.Â
Rafe tried to keep his eyes on the road, but he couldnât stop them from dancing back over to you as you sang along happily to your music. You rolled the window down, letting the humid Florida air raise your hair in a wave around you. You giggled and tried to tame it, eventually giving up and letting it whip around your face.
There was something so light about you. Something joyful and at peace. He placed both hands on the steering wheel, trying to ground himself, jealous of your carefree spirit. Whatever intangible thing you had managed to capture in your years apart, he wanted it. And it hit him like a lightning bolt, a bittersweet truth he had fought for so many years - he wanted you.
One song rolled into the next, and Rafe searched for something to say to keep up the almost-friendly banter you had begun in the store, but before he could come up with anything, Tom sat forward suddenly.
âOh hey I love this song!â Tom informed you.
âMe too!â You turned to smile at him, and Rafe listened enviously as you and Tom chatted about the many favorite artists you have in common the rest of the way home.
The house was quiet when you returned, everyone either taking their daily hangover nap or down lounging by the beach. Rafeâs hands turned white from once again carrying as many plastic bags as he could. You tried not to laugh, and tried not to notice the way his biceps bulged under his tight t-shirt, but you failed at both.
âAre you laughing at me again?â He raised his eyebrows in amusement, placing the bags on the counter. âWhat is it this time?â
âSorry, youâre just so helpful all of a sudden,â you pointed out with a smirk.
âWell bag boy over there wasnât helping,â he nodded towards the patio, where Tom was taking a phone call.
âHe said itâs a work call,â you defended him. âHe just got a job in New York apparently, a Wall Street thing.
âWhatever,â Rafe mumbled. What he wanted to say was âsince when are you two best friends?â but he had already been fairly gruff with you today and he was trying to refocus on his goal of getting you to like him again.
You and Rafe put the groceries away in silence for a while. You tried to find the right way to approach the question you were dying to ask, failing to convince yourself you didn't care about the answer.
âSo,â you started nervously. âYou didnât graduate this year?â
Rafeâs shoulders tensed as he tried to make more room in the pantry.
âNope,â he said shortly.
âDid you take some time off?â
He was torn between being glad that you were talking to him and mad that this was the topic youâd chosen to break the ice with.
âNo, I-uh,â he cleared his throat. âI failed a couple classes my first year so Iâm still a few credits behind.â
âOh, Iâm sorry,â you said, leaning down to put the ribs for the cookout in the large freezer.
âItâs my own fault,â he shrugged. âI was an idiot back then.â
When you stood from the freezer to grab another rack of ribs, you were surprised to see Rafe standing close, his body looming as he looked down at you.
âI was an idiot before then, too,â he continued, voice low and uncertain.
Everything in your mind went fuzzy as the blood rushed to your face. This was the first time you could smell him, and it familiarity of his scent made you feel like you were being transported back in time. You fought the urge to inhale deeply, greedy for the rush of him filling your senses.
âBefore then?â You blinked up at him.
Rafe struggled to find his next words. It took everything in you not to fill in the blanks for him, like you were back in high school slipping him the answers to a test he hadnât studied for. But this time, you needed him to find the answers all on his own. You swallowed hard, leaving silence for the words he was searching for.Â
Before he could find them, Topper and Carter came barreling into the kitchen, mid-argument as always. They stopped short when they saw the scene in front of them. Rafe stepped away from you so quickly you could feel a woosh of wind in his wake. It was eerily reminiscent of your teenage years, Rafe separating himself from you as soon as there was anyone around to see you together.
âEverything okay?â Carter asked tensely, noticing the way your shoulders had fallen.
âFine,â Rafe said, tossing the rest of the plastic bags in the trash and heading down the stairs to his basement bedroom, closing the door firmly behind him.
âDamn, you two did good,â Topper said, admiring the cornucopia of food youâd brought back.
âYou three,â Carter corrected. âTom went too.â
She walked up next to you and lowered her voice, a sly smile on her face, âand how did it go with Tom?â
You didnât match her playful mood, completely preoccupied thinking about the moment you and Rafe had just shared. Was he about to apologize to you? What would you have let him do if your sister and psuedo-brother-in-law had entered the room just a minute later?
âIt was fine,â you said distractedly, closing the fridge and heading upstairs to your room.
Carter turned on her heel and looked at Topper with a frown, shocked to find him beaming back at her.
âWhat are you smiling for?â She snarled.
âOh nothing, seems like my plan is working is all,â he grinned. âThey were standing awfully close when we walked in.â
âYour plan?â She stepped closer to him, arms crossed. âWhat are you up to Thornton?â
âJust playing a little Cupid,â he smiled proudly.
âOkay well you can go ahead and put down the bow and arrow, because Iâve already got that covered,â she informed him.
âReally?â He asked in surprise. âI thought you hated Rafe.â
âRafe? Ew, no, Iâm talking about Tom, obviously,â she snapped.
âYour sister and Tom? Nahhh, do you not see how she and Rafe have been looking at each other? Itâs so obvious,â he scoffed.
âYou know what else is obvious? That Rafeâs still a dick and he doesnât deserve her,â Carter argued.
âHeâs actually grown up a lot,â Topper said, surprising Carter with the serious shift in his tone. âHeâs been through some stuff, college hasnât been easy for him. He could use a win.â
Carter considered this, but it wasnât enough to satisfy the years of bitterness she held for Rafe.
âWell, he had his chance. He had millions of chances with her and he fumbled every one,â she said.
âI know he did, but under it all heâs a good person. And I think good people deserve second chances,â Topper explained.
âNot when they hurt my sister,â she concluded. âI wonât allow it.â
Topper's eyes creased with his smile as he looked down at her, loving her steely look and pursed lips as she put her hands on her hips.Â
âYouâre still so bossy,â he smiled, sliding closer to her until their chests were nearly touching. âI know weâre supposed to be fighting, but itâs kinda hot.â
He leaned forward to plant a little kiss on her lips, like heâd done a million times before. Carter leaned back, leaving his puckered lips hanging.
âOh no,â she pushed him back, making him frown. âYou donât get to touch me until you join Team Tom.â
âNuh-uh! Team Rafe for life baby,â he crossed his arms to match her stance, recovering quickly, more than used to being rejected by her.
She studied him suspiciously, wondering how quickly heâd crack if she actually withheld their inevitable beach trip hook-up. But he didnât budge, he was as serious about this as she was.
âFine,â she said. âThe game is so on.â
(Chapter 3)
a/n: so tell me... are we Team Tom or Team Rafe?
please note, the taglist for this series is currently closed. For updates, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs đ
#Team Tom#Team Rafe#I accidentally made topper my favorite character oops#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fic#obx fic#drew starkey#rafe obx#rafe fanfic#rafe fic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#obx#outer banks#outer banks fic#topper thornton#x reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff
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letters (MV33)
ê° max verstappen x childhoodbestfriend! reader ê±
synopsisâit was confusing, even though you were continents apart, you never understood why max never responded to your letters, until you attend the belgium gp to finally get the answers you were looking for. inspired by the prompt, "why did you never reply to my letters?" "you wrote me letters?"
genreâ fluffy, the fluffiest fluff i've ever fluffed.
word countâ 4.4k
aria yapsâ i have worked on this non-stop for two days, and i loved the way it turned out, maybe one of my favorite works. enjoy reading this as much as i enjoy writing this!!
SECOND PART
she was always around max, either from the sidelines or the first person max ran to when he won a race, it was always her. not even his father, even though he held his father to the highest regard, but it was always her.
the little wrinkles on the edge of her eyes when she smiled at him, the way her lips would curl up, or the way she would giggle every. single. time. that he would come and hug her after every race finish. he remembers it all. and the way he would snuggle his face in the crook of her neck and asked her softly after he would win a race, 'did you see me win, schatje?'
she would always smile back with a laugh, 'of course i did maxie.'
it was always about max, her life revolved around him, whether he liked it or not. she adored him and maybe he adored her a little bit more. they were childhood friends, they were inseparable since they were little babies, their mothers being friends made it even harder for the both of them to not be attached at the hip.
she loved being in his presence and he loved her.
the divorce between jos and sophie was hard on max, he blamed himself and his career but she was always there to tell him that it's not his fault. that their decision was their own and she never forgot to tell max that it wasn't his fault, no matter how much they told him that it was.
she saw the way jos had pushed max to his limits, get physical with his own son and his way of escaping that life was run to her arms, she was there tending to every bruise, every wound whether physical or emotional. she was his rock and it was final. nothing anyone could ever say or do would change his name.
"schatje," max had gently woken her up from her slumber, and she stirred awake from his soft voice, she noticed where she was and finally remembered what happened.
max had finished lower than expected and jos had thrown hurtful things about max, she was there on his mother's couch, comforting him and had fallen asleep that way, with max on her lap, "are you sleepy?"
she shook her head, not wanting to admit that yes, indeed she was sleepy, but if max needed comfort then that wasn't a big deal to her, "what's wrong maxie?"
"nothing, you can sleep on my bed if you're tired. i can sleep here," max had brushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear but she refused, she hated taking his bed because she knew how uncomfortable the couch was, she wanted him to sleep well.
but he wouldn't allow her to take the couch, so they both slept on sophie's couch almost cuddled with eachother because they were both stubborn.
max was necessarily content with how he was living his life right now, but she made it better and that's all he could ask for. was it her smile? maybe her presence? max didn't care. the first memory he could remember from his early childhood was her, and it was etched into his memory like stone.
she was content with being max's rock, she was there to keep him grounded and she too only had memories of him from her early childhood. she wouldn't replace him for the world, he was too precious for anything in this earthly world.
but there was one day, it felt like a bomb dropped on her. her father had told her that he would have to move to korea to continue work, and she didn't know how to break the news to max until a few days before she had to leave.
she knew it was wrong to keep something this big away from max, but she was so stricken with anxiety that she never got the chance to until max came over to her house and saw all the packed boxes with their belongings.
"why didn't you tell me sooner?" max was angry, she could tell, by the way he was pacing around her room, looking at the packed boxes around. max thought he meant more to her than just a measly friend, he felt frustratedâ betrayed almost. why wouldn't she tell him? why would she keep something as big as this away from him?
"why didn't you say something before? why now? why before you could see me race this weekend?" max was raising his voice now, and she didn't know what to do. her eyes turned glassy and those doe eyes max loved so much just looked so sad.
she stayed quiet, a guilty look on her face. she knew max would break from the news, and she knew that it would affect his performance, but she didn't know how to stay, how to convince her father that she didn't want to go, so yet again, she stayed silent in important moments of her life.
"schatje, can you say something? say anything?!" max yelled and she flinches, she didn't know what to say or what to do, she wanted to say something, say anything. but nothing would come to her lips. it was so hard for her when he was angry like this, it reminded her of his father and his father was deathly scary when angry.
a sigh escapes max's lips when he sees her flinch, coming close to her to wrap her in a hug. tears escaped from her eyes as she held onto max tight, "i didn't know how to tell you," she whispers into max's ear but max didn't say anything to that, just held her even tighter and he did not want to let go.
"it's okay schatje, i'm not mad at you. i could never get mad at you, i'm sorry for raising my voice. i just don't want you to go," tears started to escape max's eyes too, he didn't want to see her go. he wanted her to stay, and she did too. but the universe was pulling them apart and there was nothing either of them could do about it.
the ride to the airport was tough, being only fifteen and sixteen respectively. max held her hand the entire time, not wanting to let go, he didn't want her to leave, she was his biggest support system and he couldn't imagine her gone like that.
she was the most scared of the two of them, what if her father never returned to belgium? what if she was stuck there in korea forever? what if she never got to see his pretty blue eyes anymore?
max was the one to ground her, no longer lost in her thoughts, "can you promise me we'll keep in touch? or maybe visit from time to time?" max was holding onto her hands tightly, she felt like they would bruise, she could only smile and nod.
her mother had called her over, it was time to go. she looked at max for what it felt like the last time and left her life in belgium.
dear schatje,
hi, this is the first week that you're gone and it's bene been so hard without you here with me. i forgot that you weren't here anymore and i was expecting to see your face, but when i didn't, i may or may not have almost cried.
i miss you so much. tell me how it is in korea, is it cold? do they have bears there? what about the food? is it good? can you eat it? i heard there's a lot of spiy spicy food there? honestly i don't care about what they have there, i just care about you.
when can you visit again? can you tell me if you're ever coming back? i'm so worried about you there, i miss you... so much schatje.
written with a lot of love, your maxie.
max always handed off his letters to his father, telling his father to hand it off to his mother because apparently they kept in contact and wanted to send it off to the post office on behalf of him.
he just wondered how she was doing there.
it's been months and countless of letters max had sent, and none of them replied. he was starting to lose hope, he didn't want to think that his best friend would forget about him so easily like that, but he held out hope. he knew that she wouldn't magically forget about him now that she was there.
jealousy bubbled within him when he realized that she would be meeting new people, what if she met someone like him? who enjoyed karting and wanted to steal her attention?
no, he couldn't be thinking like that. he loved her and he knew she loved him as much as he did, so he told himself to just be patient, maybe letters to korea took months to reach?
the naviety was almost laughable but he was fine with it. he just wanted to hear back from his pretty girl.
"i do not understand why you keep writing letters to that stupid girl, she doesn't reply to you and all it does is distract you," jos had reprimanded his son, but max was stubborn. he didn't care what his father had to say, he loved all of her, even when she was thousands of kilometers away. he wanted to talk, even when she never replied.
max was in the process of writing another letter, but he never listened to his father, not about her. not about how much of a distraction she's been to his career, he didn't care. he used it as motivation to get better on the track, so the next time she saw him, he would be a world champion, that's what he silently promised to her.
it had been two years, and he hadn't heard a peep back. slowly, he was starting to lose hope but he couldn't lose hope, every single time he would send off the letters, he told himself that maybe it got lost in the mail.
max kept writing though.
max's debut in f1 was explosive to say the least, his interviews would absolutely go viral by the things he was saying in them. he didn't understand why, he just said what was on his mind.
what was truly on his mind was her.
was he not good enough for her? was him being in f1 not enough to impress her? why wouldn't she write back?
oh god how he missed her.
he still wrote to her weekly, it was religious at this point. he never forgot and he always told his father to send them off to his mother and the week after that was always disappointment because he wouldn't hear anything back.
little did he know, she never received those letters.
max had slowly stopped writing letters as he got into f1, he didn't see a point in it anymore. she never replied. she didn't care. letters didn't take years to reach korea, and he finally lost hope.
winning his first championship felt empty, the pretty girl who used to be waiting for him wasn't there for him anymore. of course, he was happy to win such an impressive feat, who wouldn't? but it just... lacked her.
max indeed lost hope that she would ever write back, but never lost hope that she was out there, somewhere, watching him race every single week and beat the shit out of his rivals. she loved watching him race and that's what he intended to do until the day he died, he wanted to impress her, maybe that was his ulterior motive to becoming a formula one driver.
all just to impress his best friend who had lost contact with him for a decade now.
"you need to stop figdeting so much," her mother had scolded her, she could only laugh nervously and stop fidgeting around. she wondered why max never wrote back to her, she had written him letters. did he hate her for moving out to korea and not coming to visit belgium?
she shook the thoughts out of her head, she was here now. for his home race, and for the rest of her life. her father had now decided to move back to belgium, because and i quote, 'i don't want my daughter to lose touch with her culture'.
she was 26 now, and she had guessed that he turned 27 not too long ago. it's been so long since she talked to him and she hoped that the spark that she had been yearning for had not been lost to the passages of time.
getting the paddock passes was not easy, it was a war and a half but she managed to snag some for herself and a friend that wanted to visit belgium and would arrive later on in the week.
"how did you even manage to get paddock passes for us?" heejin, her friend that wanted to visit had asked, she could only laugh and explain how she got them, it was a war and a half. heejin laughed along with her as they both arrived and scanned their passes at the entrance.
"i'm gonna meet my best friend hereâ well it's complicated. i don't think he considers me a best friend anymore, but i still do," she had softly told heejin who was a big formula one fan even before meeting her, heejin raised her eyebrow when she said that.
the both of them were walking down the paddock, passing all of the different team's hospitalities. heejin raised her eyebrow at her friend, who shrugged.
"who's your best friend?" heejin had asked as they pass by the red bull hospitality, she stopped which signalled heejin to stop as well, she looked at the redbull in awe. she hadn't been to a formula one race yet, the closest she'd been was to karting but that didn't bring on the feelings she felt when standing in front of this red bull building.
"well, he's driving the number one car."
"YOUR BEST FRIEND IS MAX VERSTAPPEN?!"
"YOUR BEST FRIEND IS MAX VERSTAPPEN?!"
max had heard a girl yell, he slowly turned his head. he was confused, he didn't have a best friendâ well not anymore. she had moved to korea, all memories of her stuck in his head being replayed all over and over again.
that's all he had left of her.
the other girl shushed the girl who yelled, and that's when it dawned on max. the other girl looked awfully familiar, he couldn't quite place why she looked so familiar but she looked like her, like his best friend.
"shh! you can't just yell that out in public," she clamped a hand on her friend's mouth, "they're gonna think i'm insane!" then the both of them giggled, it did sound ridiculous but now he was curious.
was she back? was that her? who was she with? is that her new best friend? is that her?
as they both walked away, max wanted to run up to them, to ask that one particular girl what her name was. what she was doing here and who she was with but all of that died when he got approached by his race engineer.
then he forgot all about that familiar girl that he saw in front of the red bull hospitality.
max would only get another glimpse of her when it was race day, they were walking through the paddock in a similar fashion, but max promised to himself that he would approach them, that he would ask but there was doubt in his heart.
what if she forgot about him?
she couldn't, right?
and so approach them he did, tapping the girl that he felt was so familiar to on the shoulder, she had turned around and they had locked eyes.
it was as if she never left.
the sparks, they all came rushing back and then his heart started beating out of his chest, he wanted to ask so many questions, why she was here, who she was with, when she came backâ why she came back, why she never wrote him back.
but the only thing that left his lips were a simple, "hi."
heejin was freaking out, she could tell. she knew that heejin was a big red bull fan too, always talking about how the team was dominating and they had the better car. she had heard all about it. but the little dutchboy she left all those years ago was standing in front of her and not-so little anymore and all those thoughts about her girlfriend was forgotten.
he looked the same, but grown and decked out in red bull merch. she wanted to laugh at how innocent he looked when he tapped her on the shoulder to get her to turn around, he looked stupid, stupidly cute.
all of those feelings from when she was back in belgium came back, she almost forgot what it felt like to be around maxâ her max. he looked like he was going to cry when he got a good look at her, that he finally realized that yes, it's her. the one that left him in belgium all those years ago.
and maybe she could cry too.
"maxie?" a familiar nickname slipped from her lips and she didn't get a response back, but a bear hug in return.
god, her scent. it was everything to him. he fucking missed itâ miss her.
"i thought... i thought you forgot about me," max buried his face into the crook of her neck, she too wrapped her arms around max and buried her face into his chest. his voice was so vulnerable, all she wanted to do was curl around him and tell him that she would never.
she shook her head as she sank into the hug, "i could never forget my maxie," she mumbled into his chest, he held onto her tighter. he never wanted to let go, not now, not ever. she was where she was finally supposed to be, right in his arms.
once they got time alone after his race, max had stolen her away from her friend and dragged her into his driver's room, locking the door and pushing her against the wall, slamming his lips onto hers. he had been dreaming about this for so long, his lips on hers.
he didn't want to so sexual with her, no not yet. being in the small driver's room where they couldn't be free out of the public eye wasn't a good place. he just wanted to touch her, hold her, love her, make sure that she knew how much he had missed this.
missed them being together.
her hands instinctively went up to hold onto his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he kissed her softly. the feelings going through him were a mix of nostalgia, longing and love. he loved her for so long and it was so like her to show up when it mattered the most.
he won it for her today, to show her, that the little max she knew still had it in him to win and to impress her even with a world championship under his belt.
she felt the softness and the gentleness that max was touching her with, she knew how much he loved her. how much he care, how much he longed for her touch and she did too, only so much more.
she had so many questions in her, on why he never replied to the letters she sent or why he never sent any himself, not knowing what happened with her letters and why they never arrived properly.
but she didn't care at the moment, all she cared about was that she was safely in his arms, never to be let go ever again.
safe to say, her lips were to the point of bruising that night. max had forbade her to go back home, or to be away from his sight. he had kissed her silly, not wanting to let her go and there she was, settled nicely in his arms.
it's not like she wanted to go anywhere anyway.
the movie in the background was long forgotten, max's lips felt like they were molded for hers. he had waited for her for so long, waited to feel her skin after so long and this just felt right, it felt right when he was with her.
"maxieâ mmhhâ my love, stop," she had to talk in between kisses, max didn't want to let her go, his fingers were basically imprinted onto her waist. she was straddling max as he sat upright and kissed her, so softly. like she would break if he was any harder, even though he absolutely did want to kiss her harder.
max released her from the kiss with a pout, his pretty lips were red and swollen from all the kissing they did. everything in the world just seemed to fade into the background when they were together, like everyone else in this world was so insignificant for their time and they were the only people worthy of each other's time.
"but why? i wanna kiss you, i miss you. i have waited for you for ten years, the least you can do is let me kiss you until you're sick of me," max mumbled against her lips and all she could do was giggle.
god, her laugh, he loved it.
she shook her head and left a final peck on his lips, "because i want to talk maxie, we can't just kiss whatever questions we have for eachother away," she told him but he seemed to think otherwise, she had moved back to put a bit of distance in between them, to make sure max didn't go in to kiss her again.
"oh yes we can, i don't care about the questions, schatje. i just wanna be with you, just like old days, but now it's so different because in those ten years without you, i finally realized what i felt and how i felt for you and i can't wait any damn longer to finally kiss those pretty lips of yours, so please. just let me do this for another three hours and we can talk," max begged as he pulled her closer.
she couldn't imagine kissing for another three hours as they spent the last hour doing it, but with him? she would do it for another life-time if she could.
the both of them later had the serious talk when they were done kissing each other, now wanting answers from eachother. their legs were tangled and intertwined with each other's, not wanting to let go from their skin to skin contact.
"first off, why did you never reply to my letters? i wrote you so many. so many that i lost count, i would always write to you but you never replied, why?" max's voice came out strained, all of the painful feelings from the last ten years of his life were coming out, her doe eyes looked up from where she was, laying against his chest.
"you wrote me letters? i wrote you letters, you never replied. i thought you got too busy with your karting career to replyâ"
"i could never get too busy to reply to you, but i never got any of your letters, schatje," max murmured against her forehead, kissing it gently after he spoke. she hummed a response before it dawned on her, she had always sent the letters to his father's address and she knew that his father wasn't fond of her, even offering her a huge lump sum of cash just for her to stay away from his son but she never accepted it, always choosing to be beside max, no matter what happened.
she looked up and sighed, she knew what happened now, she connected the pieces, "did you send your letters off to your dad?" she asked, and max nodded before it dawned on him too.
"that fucker hid the letters from you and never sent mine..."
she could only nod sadly, but it didn't matter now. all that mattered was that they were reconnected now.
scattered around them were the countless of letters max had written to her and all of the letters from her that he never received, the years of pining, longingâ all of them tucked neatly away into these little envelopes that held all of those unsaid feelings.
a soft sigh escapes her lips, she looked at all of them, there were hundreds maybe. all of them posted to where she stayed in korea but never sent, always kept in a big box where all of his letters were and hers were stuffed in there in a similar fashion.
her heart clenched when she saw how many there were, there were far more many than whatever she sent, even though she did send quite a big sum.
when max had found out, he stormed into jos' house and demanded to ask why he never sent out the letters that he wrote and a big fight broke out, she had to hold of max from physically harming his own father. then they left after given the big box filled with letters.
"there's so many..." she watched in awe as all of them were sorted by date, from the latest to the earliest, max looked up at her with those big blue icy eyes of his, he looked really sad. stuck in his feelings almost, not understand why his father would do whatever he did in the past.
max held her hand gently, pulling her into his embrace, "i have always loved you, even when i was a little kid. i just didn't understand what those feelings were, i just acted on how i felt and being away from you... i just couldn't. so i sent you my love in the form of these letters."
she left a lingering kiss on his cheek, she felt sorry for having to leave all those years ago. she should've fought, should've stood her ground on how much she wanted to stay but she was just a 16 year old kid who didn't know how to, "i know. i'm sorry i had to leave all those years ago."
"don't apologize, schatje. i have never blamed you for leaving me. i have always held love for you in my heart, even if you didn't know it."
"i always knew max, and i still do."
very willing to do a part 2 to this btw, will only do it when requested tho. not proofread, excuse grammar mistakes.
#leclarifies fics#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen fic#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x yn#max verstappen#max verstappen x you#max verstappen oneshot#f1 fanfic#f1 fic
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Main 6 - Cuddle Headcanons
PAIRING(S): Asra Alnazar x Gn!Reader, Julian Devorak x Gn!Reader, Nadia Satrinava x Gn!Reader, Muriel x Gn!Reader, Portia x Gn!Reader, Lucio x Gn!Reader
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Cuddling positions are practically never ending with Asra. They love to just be close to you and doesnât have much of a preference.
However, there are some cuddle positions that are preferred after a long day of existing.
One of them is him laying on your chest. Usually this is your way of helping them unwind, especially when you massage his scalp and play with his hair.
Other than that, just hearing your heartbeat and feeling the rise and fall of your chest comforts them, even after all thatâs happened.
Then thereâs the time when he just wants to show you that he loves you.
This usually prompts them to start kissing you all over your face and you end up falling into his arms, all bundled up by the warm blankets.
Honestly overall, they just love to cuddle in bed with you and whatever position you two end up laying in
Even if it isnât always the same position you wake up in
Also bonus points if you end up letting Faust cuddle up with you two, she does get cold sometimes yknow
Which she most likely always does end up doing
In Nadiaâs route, itâs noted that there is only once bed in the shop so itâs likely Asra and you share it even when youâre not cuddling
So most times heâd fall asleep from exhaustion near you, with faust slithering on him
Probably hugs you around your waist too
And if you try to strike a âsexyâ pose heâll laugh and play along
The worst
Ofc heâs not actually the worst Lucio still exists but the way he cuddles at times is a hit or miss
Especially since most times he ends up sprawling his limbs out wherever they can, usually ending up on top of you unless you spoon him.
When itâs actually enjoyable to cuddle with him, most times he enjoys being spooned or mutual holding.
We all know how self deprecating he is so might as well show him how well he can be loved, even if youâre shorter or smaller, thatâs no excuse
Just donât mind his long limbs
Regardless of how you choose to hold him, heâll always hold onto you back. Now on the other end of the spectrum where itâs damn near torture-
He has no regard for you- in his sleep at least
Like bro is genuinely squishing you with his limbs, and you canât even move them because youâre trapped đ
He probably unknowingly hogs the blanket too since heâs slipped off the bed more times than heâd like to admit and has taken the blanket with him.
He has all his weight on it, making damn near impossible to get the blanket from under him, leaving you shivering and timbering in the cold
If youâd prefer to be the one held then heâd be more than happy to đ just be prepared for him to be pretty flustered by being the one âin chargeâ
He does apologize to you when he wakes up if heâs been squishing you, etc etc though
Mother
She definitely one of the LI that are on the podium of best cuddlers. she holds you so warm and tight itâs honestly the best.
She is not the type to be all that physically affectionate, which is honestly a bummer because her hugs and cuddles are the best ever.
Often times at the end of an exhausting day as countess, she loves to spoil you and hold you in her arms.
Sheâs more than happy to massage your scalp or shoulders, even feeding you some fruit would be sufficient
Sleep wise, sheâs as elegant as she is when sheâs awake. Her hair is somehow perfect (must be the rose colored lenses talking-) and sheâs not a blanket hogger of any kind
Sheâs really considerate even in her sleep and sheâll randomly wake up in the middle of the night and look for you
If youâre not covered by the blanket, sheâll tuck you in and go back to bed.
Either that or sheâll also hold you in her arms depending on if she believes that you want your space.
Now, if youâre more a sprawler, always falling off the bed, or just not that pretty of a sleeper she find it super endearing
Sheâll literally get up from her cozy place on the bed to help you back up. Even going as far as carrying you if thatâs what would be more comfortable.
Now, we all know Nadia prefers to be the one âin chargeâ she prefers to pamper and thatâs alright.
But, if you prefer to also show her your affection that same way sheâll be more than happy to oblige- although itâll be done with a blush.
When cuddling Muriel is super gentle and is hyper aware because of his larger stature, making him scared at the possibility of hurting you.
Which, you have to reassure him would never happen because youâd be happy to be crushed by him
With your constant reassurance and how often you tend to flop yourself on top of him, he eventually just gets used to it.
Cuddle wise, heâs usually big spoon for obvious reasons, heâll hold you against his chest too along with Inanna being sandwiched by you both.
Again, you tend to be the one laying on him and when he chooses to sleep on his back, youâre laying on his chest and just absorbing his warmth.
I think itâd be obvious, but Muriel would also enjoy being held aswell. When you confront him with the idea heâs flustered because not only has he never considered it but heâs so touch starved.
If you have him lay his head on your chest, being held in your arms or even go as far as have him be little spoon, well his blush is out of this world.
If anything, heâs just happy that youâd want him to feel loved, as if you being around him isnât enough
It isnât
Heâs basically beet red and he just accepts the affection ,laying there with you because again, he loves it.
Whenever/ if he tries to argue and say that heâs too big or whatever just say that you want him đđ of you and just watch him squirm and get so flustered that he forgets
He ends up inevitably bringing it up again, so just cuddle the man
Sleep wise, Muriel is also really considerate. He tries not to take as much space and if you end up subconsciously tugging a blanket that heâs on, heâll immediately move to give it to you.
Treat him well.
Yes, yes, yes, just yes
Sheâs the absolute best person to cuddle with, sheâs such a cuddle bug and honestly neither of you guys have a preference most times and so it ends in just cuddling however.
Most times itâs either of you on the others chest. Mostly itâs Portia that enjoys having you rest on her and she enjoys playing with your hair or just massaging your scalp.
Sheâs more than happy to be the big spoon if thatâs what you prefer, maybe sheâd even tease you for being so âboldâ as to ask.
Ironic considering that the instant that you insist on coddling her sheâs flushed from head to toe.
Literally almost literally every time you two cuddle sheâll always put a leg over you.
Just a quirk of hers that youâve noticed and a definite plus is how warm she is which causes you to cling to her.
Which definitely warrants some teasing for clinging onto her like some koala. She finds it endearing though and is definitely worth is since she ends up peppering kisses all over your face
W
Is it really cuddling with Portia if you exclude Pepi? No, no itâs not
Pepi is so cute!! Itâs a well known fact and sheâll always end up crawling and making her way through the bundle of blankets to rest her little self in between you and Portia.
Sleep wise, Portia is also a hit or miss đ
Sheâll either cling to you in her sleep while also being considerate so itâs not bothersome
Or sheâll sleep lazily and drool a bit, causing her to be a bit embarrassed once she finally wakes up.
The worst motherfucker to cuddle with, EVER (up to interpretation whether itâs said with love)
Not likely)
Like he sleeps in either of two ways and neither of them are necessarily the best.
The first way is him being all lovey dovey and cuddly with you while the second one makes you wish death (again) upon him.
The first one is admittedly really nice. Heâs in your arms and just being the needy, clingy bastard we all know Lucio to be.
Itâs not so nice because of how this doesnât change even during the summer time. Youâll definitely end up getting a heatstroke because of him clinging onto you one day.
Thatâs just the first way though.
The second way is him being sprawled out all over you without a care in the world.
His limbs are so freaking heavy too, itâs not like you could escape even if you desperately wanted to.
Worst part? He steals the fucking blanket all the time
Literally refuses to let go of his weirdly tight grip on the blanket in his sleep, leaving you shivering and timbering all night.
And then he has the audacity of getting mad at you for pushing him off the bed.
Smh
Thatâs all i have on this fucker
#fanfic#gn reader#male reader#fluff#fanfic fluff#female reader#fluff headcanons#asra alnazar#asra the magician#asra x reader#asra the arcana#julian devorak x apprentice#julian devorak x mc#julian devorak x reader#julian devorak#nadia satrinava#nadia satrinava x reader#nadia x reader#the arcana nadia#muriel x apprentice#muriel x reader#muriel x mc#the arcana muriel#portia devorak#portia the arcana#portia x mc#lucio x reader#lucio morgasson#lucio the arcana#the arcana x reader
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