#ill only stop cutting when i cant feel anything anymore not pain not love just emptiness

[sick-as-a-dog]

×

[rippeds0cks]

3/4/2024

I have been weird lately. Some days ill be doing great then other days ill be as worse as ive ever been. These last couple days have been bad. Ive been so bad mentally that ive had to stop whatever im doing (eating, watching a movie, working out, playing elden ring) and just sit there and stare off into nothing. I zoned out entirely when i was driving yesterday. Ended up going 75 in a 45 and had to rush a break when i zoned back in so i didnt slam into the back of the car in front of me. Cant have that become a habit since im gonna be driving a lot soon. Buying a gun soon. Not for suicide or anything i need it for bears n such since im gonna be camping in the middle of national parks a lot. I havent slept well in weeks. Every night for the last couple nights ive been as close to tears as ive been in recent memory. I get really emotional laying here n my right eye will be teary but my left eye will not. I wonder if my tear duct is damaged in any kinda way since thats the side closest to my head injury. It shouldnt be since thats my better eye. Back when i got a cut on my left eyelid i was essentially blind for those couple days it took for the swelling to go down since my right eye is essentially useless. That reminds me, my dad is slowly catching onto how bad my health is. He made the observation “you might have something wrong with your depth perception cause you get really close to the cars in front of you when you drive” and i just went “haha yeah” when in reality my depth perception mostly went when i was like a very early 19 and i just got used to it. Fighting made me able to “feel” the distance between me and everything around me but that goes out the window when im operating a machine like a car. Ill get used to it i guess. Maybe start wearing my glasses.

I think that on this trip ill make the decision about reaching out to my ex. I think that if i get all the way to vegas and still think about her ill reach out for closure. Thatll be a while tho. Maybe well over a year. I dont know. Ive just completely given up any delusion of her contacting me. If contact is to be made itll be made by me. I just cant stop thinking about her and its already ridiculous so if it continues for so long that by the time i get to vegas i might as well reach out. Worst comes to worst and she loses her mind/gets a restraining order n i cant firefight anymore i can just kill myself its not a big deal. I just cant keep harboring these emotions forever. I already dont wanna harbor em im just too scared to reach out. It doesnt help that me n benj (mostly benj) bring up our exes a lot so i have to think about her. He says shit sometimes that unlocks memories i didnt know i had and it will make my ass catatonic for the day.

Like once i had a ptsd attack while asleep and i jolted awake and we were napping together and i woke up to her laying on me pulling me as close as possible and it brought my heart rate down and mental state down entirely, i was able to relax and calm down just cause she was there. She probably doesnt remember it since when i jolted awake she was mostly still asleep, just doing a slurred half awake “do u have to pee” to which i just said no n we both went back to bed.

I waa gonna type out another memory thats been replaying in my head where she lays with me as i was having full body convulsions and i was in some of the most pain i have ever been in. Rubbing my back and holding my hand. I was gonna type it all out in detail but im already shaking and crying out of one eye lol. No snot or anything tho so i dont know if this qualifies as crying.

Anyways i would give anything to be able to experience that again. The first and only person to ever love me and things went so horribly wrong. Both of our faults. I take the vast majority of the blame though. She takes the blame towards the end but the rest of it is my fault.

Anyways

[akuutaguava]

FUCKI I CANT POST ANYMORE SHIT ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU TIMBLR AND THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR HAVE A GOOD REST OF UR DAY

SHIT IM ACTUALLY NOT GOING TO SURVIVE WITHOUT WRITING WEIRD THOUGHTS

Ahahahahaha im gonna have to rant on insta i hate life good bye

Better idea: type on this post and this post alone lets see how chaotic this gets

I am queercoding rn

IVE BEEN FEELING HUNGRY THE WHOLE DAY TODAY AND THE MOMENT I CAN EAT I DONT WANT TO WHAT KINDA FUCKERY IS THIS

actually sobs ive seen so much i want to reblog

I hate this godamn limit whatthefuck

Now people will go back to this random post and can’t see my posts popping up every two minutes

FUCK YEAH CASAVA CHIPS :D

My thoughts need to be documented even when i cant post on here

This used to be a post abt me talking abt killjng peoples dogs but who knows anymore

SOMEONE HMSSAVE ME AH

I HAVE A LOT OF ACCOUNTS THAT I NEED TO POST ON WHATTHEFUCK

SHIT THESE CASAVE CHIPS ARE SO GOOD

Bussing bussin frfr

I hate the people who made me not be able to type anything here today shie, apollo, ghoul im talking to you guys /j okay dw

Tempted to go bald and really embrace the mental illness

My mandarin caused havoc on like seven people today lmao

It got everywhere holy shit

Actually about to fucjing cry i hate nkt being able to post shit whathefuck its only been a day but WHY

Found out one of shed eerans songs is like the most famous song in the world and i actually want to end my life oml

Im going to play bsd mayoi to distract myself from this sad fate

AXTUALLY SOBBING TUMBLR CAN YOU STOP PLAYING AND JUST LET ME POST SHIT

FUCK YOU TUMBLE

just kidding haha only joking ily bbgorl

Phobic? You think im scared

Parents will be like don’t do drugs and then make you want to do them

Boutta die im talking abt liking hot evil dilfs what has my life gone to without tumblr

Physically pained

Mentally drained

JESUS CHRIST I NEED TO SNEEZE BUT I CANT I ACTUALLY HATE THIS

Gender? Isn’t that a spice?

ACTUALLY FML MY COMPUTER IS 12% IM GOING TO CRY AL MY CLASEES REQUIRE A COMPUTER TODSAY FUYCKM

yet another day with a substitute who hates my guts for no reason (she has a reason) 

im probably going to go home i feel actually so sick rn 

WHATTHEFUCK I JUST SAW A MEME MY TEACHER SHOWED US IN IT WAS SHAKESPEAR GOING “i put the lit in literature” THATS IT IM JUMOING OUT THE WINDOW 

art = are

dost = do

doth = does

'ere = before

hast = have

'tis = it is

'twas = it was

wast = were

whence = from where

wherefore = why

nay = no

twas over yonder

LMAO FUCK TOU SCHOOL I’M LEAVING

OUT OF THAT HELL HOLE :D

Actually so happy i don’t need to do science now fuck yeah

GAH I FEEL LIKE SHIT LMAO

Im pretty sure everyone thinks im skipping fuck you guys im not

THE CICADAS ARE STILL HERE FUCK

I hate the invention of long hair we should all just cut off our hair my ling hair sucks

Stopped to say hi to the ants :D

What a great lifw we would have if we were all just… orbs floating through space

Now is not a good time to be walking on a bridge over a highway

We made it off the bridge without commiting ded :D

I hate walking slow holy shit

Time to go die in my bed because i can’t really post on here anymore and that makes me sad and want to die

IHATEYOUIHATEYOU GO DIE IN A HOLE

AHIT AHIT SHIT AHIT SHIR MMY PARENTS WANT TO WATCH BUNGOU STRAY DOGS HOLU SHIT THEY WILL ACTUALLY HATE IT AND ME AND EVERYTHING AND MAKE ME SELL ALL MY MERCH HOMY SHIT IM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE WHATTHEFUCK SOMEONE HELP

I need another post for that but tumblr is a bitch

ACTUALLY FUCK I SLEPT FOR LIKE FOUR HOURS I WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING STUDY FOR TEO TESTS HOLY SHIT AHHHHHH WHATTHEFUCK SOMEENE AHHH NI U HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO POST HERE WHATTEHECUKDS 

I WOKE UP AND I ACTUALLY FEEL SO SHIT LIKE I FEEL LIKE NOTHING MATTERS AND THERES NO POINT IN LIVING SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS HEADSPACE 

BRO THE ONLY THING THATS BEEN KEEPING ME GOING TODAY IS WAITING TILL 12 AM SO I CAN FUCKING POST SHIT I JAT THIS APP

I ALSO CANT EVEN FUCKING MAKE DRAFTS AND THAT MAKES ME WANT TO UNALIVE 

dont mind those last posts, anyways three more hours until you guys get mass chaos :D goodbye for now and i’ll see you when i can actually fuckin post

[urcuteharrington]

hi, I just saw your post asking for some requests. Maybe if you can do a Steve angst but with a little bit of fluff? 💛💛

forgotten?☁️🕊

summary-steve seemed to have forgotten you when nancy came into the picture

word count-1.8k

warnings-fighting and cursing

a/n-i really hope you guys enjoyed this because it took me so long to write but i appreciate you all and i’m so glad to be back 🤍

masterlist

huge thanks to @angsty-plots for giving me ideas for new angst plots<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

steve and i were good friends that was until he started dating nancy wheeler. it use to be steve and i doing everything together hanging out at each others houses, long car rides , going to tommy’s parties , and now he forgot all about me. i knew steve had a crush on ever since the beginning... i saw the way he looked at her when she would walk past him , i saw the sparkle in his eyes when he talked about her or whenever she was around. it use to be steve, tommy, carol, and i hanging out at lunch everyday but i was soon replaced when steve asked nancy to go to his house for a hangout with carol and tommy since his parents were out of town. that night he only invited me out of pity and i saw the subtitle flirting between the two and it made me sick. i walked barb that night to the bathroom after she sliced her thumb trying to open a beer can.” i know steve has gauze and bandages somewhere here ill look just keep your hand under the water” i tell her. that night i saw nancy and steve go into his room and i knew what was going to happen and i couldn’t bare being their for it. I said my goodbye to barb wishing her a safe ride home and went on my way. remembering that night i cried my heart out wondering why steve never expressed interest in me.

That was months ago now it’s around october and it was tommy’s halloween bash. i wasn’t going to go but i decided that it was better than sitting at home doing nothing. i knew i was going to see steve their with nancy but i still went even if it was going to hurt seeing my best friend who forgot i even existed. I go dressed up as (whatever you want) and grab my keys getting ready to head off to the party. pulling up to the house i already see drunk teens walking around with their heels in hand or wobbling around. i walk in and head over to the kitchen and try to grab a drink of spiked punch. while pouring i look over and see them... steve and nancy dancing to the beat of the music. a sudden wave of sadness hit and i decided to take a sip of the punch feeling the alcohol run down my throat.

minutes pass and i decided to stay in the kitchen since i felt like it was my best bet to not run into them while on the dance floor. watching the drunken teens flirting and stumbling their words amused on how quickly the punch could get someone drunk.then i saw her , the girl who stole my best friend from me and the boy i loved. nancy walked into the kitchen and grabbed more cups of the spiked punch , one after another i was able to see her get completely shitfaced in the ,mater of only a few minutes. steve came looking for nancy and they got into a fight and i watched intensely. watching as the punch spilled all over her while sweater my mouth opened a jar shocked at how messy everything was getting. watching her and steve storm over to the bathroom. moments later i move to the living room near the front door and suddenly get shouldered by steve who seemed furious and watching jonathan rush to the bathroom. i decided to stay a little longer since the party was still going strong.

a few days later i noticed that steve and nancy were slowly falling out since he wasn’t visiting her at school anymore and her and jonathan seemed to have gotten closer. they seemed to be done and whatever was said in that bathroom must have been bad. i decided to go to steve’s house and check up on him, even if we weren’t friends anymore i didnt want to see him go through something like a breakup alone. knocking on his front door i waited anxiously wondering if i was making the wrong choice. “ hey how can i- oh hi y/n. i didnt uh expect you to be here?” steve says opening the door confused. “ i know steve but i wanted to talk to you” i say as he walks me to his room to talk.” hey i was actually gonna go out and apologize to nancy so if you can come and help me pick something out for her” my heart sank i haven’t talked to him in months and he already brought her up. not a hey how are you or a i miss you nothing its always about her i think to myself. “ oh i actually came to talk to you about something “ “ shoot” he says.” why did you stop talking to me” silence filled the room 1...2...3 minutes passed waiting for him to say something anything” steve you left me for nancy and i dont get what i did for you to sto talking to me. i understand shes your girlfriend but shit i didnt think you’d completely forget about me” i say standing up from his bed looking at him with sadness in my eyes.” i-i thought you didn’t want to hang out with us anymore y/n i didnt notice at first i i’m so sorry” he says guilt in his voice.” i feel like i lost the only person i truly cared about and and you were my friend and now you don’t even look my way steve how could you not notice me not being their... how did you not notice me not their at your basketball games cheering you on or the long car rides we would have just blasting music or going to tommy’s parties and taking turns getting shit faced. tell me steve is it me was i just not who you wanted to be around anymore was she my replacement because i saw it since the beginning” chocking on my words i hold back my tears. i didnt want to cry but eventually it fell and my vision blurred with tears.” y/n i never ment to make you feel that way and i am so sorry i guess i just got so caught up in nancy and i didnt notice you slowly leave and i i just feel terrible “ steve looked at me finally realizing how much he affected me and how much pain he caused me. “steve if you didnt want to be friends anymore you could have just told me you really hurt me” i say to him not daring to look him in the eyes.”i-i” is all he could say” you know what steve a simple hey i dont think we should be friends anymore its not your fault i just think we should go our own ways would have been nice” i say to him walking past him” you know thanks for being my friend for so many years but i cant be friends with someone who doesn’t give two shits about me anymore” i say as i walk out the door and walk back home since it was only a few houses down.steve not moving just in shock realizing that he was the reason why he lost his best friend.

days past and steve found out that nancy liked jonathan and accepted it telling her its okay and like that they broke up. driving around i felt a wave of sadness hit when the song steve and i would listen to while blasting music. tears spill down my face as i drive home. once i make it home i calm myself down and wash up when i suddenly hear the doorbell go off. walking over i open the door seeing the infamous billy hargrove “ hey their doll face i was wondering if you’ve seen my little sister max i know that you tutor some of her friends so i was wondering if you could help me figure out where the byers house is” he says licking his lips seductively “ yeah i could take you their and help you look for your little sister just let me grab my stuff “ i say looking at him.” after getting to the byers house i stay in the car until i see steve walk out confused at why he is their. everything happened so fast punches were thrown and now i’m driving the kids to this random area in hawkins. steve wakes up and sees me driving confused at how he ended up in this situation. getting to the destination steve and i talk while the kids grab everything. in the car they explained everything that happened in thus far with el , will, the upsidown , and etc. “ we broke up” steve says looking at me “ what why are you okay” even if we weren’t close anymore i didnt want him to feel like he had no one. “ she likes jonathan and the night of the party she called our relationship bullshit and i accepted it since i-“ dustin cuts him off by yelling at him how we didnt have enough time.

getting the kids out of the tunnels one by one steve was just about to help me up when he grabbed onto me tightly in a protective matter when the demo dogs ran toward us. watching as they ran past us he told me” i lost you once and i’m not gonna lose you again”getting out of the tunnels i was able to fully process everything that happened and once el closed the gate and steve and i were finally alone he broke the silence “ i love you y/n i never ment to hurt you and i’m sorry.” speechless i sit their “ steve i know you loved nan-“ he cuts me off “ after our first fight i knew she loved jonathan and i guess i couldn’t believe it till she called our relationship bullshit and i love you so much y/n and it was stupid of me to not tell you earlier” “ i love you too steve but what you did hurt me i mean you completely forgot about me” “ i know y/n but could you give me a second chance i’ll make it up to you... could i take you on a date and patch everything up” i really didn’t want to forgive him but i couldn’t just abandon him because i needed him i loved him and he loved me “ i would love that steve “ i say looking at him with love in my eyes and a smile plastered on my face.

[just-a-fangirl13]

Thoughts & Theories about MacGyver 5x10 [MacRiley]

HOLY SHIT! 

This episode was absolutely INSANE. Im writing out my thoughts once and for all because I need to stop thinking about everything that happened (I highly doubt I will be able to but here's to trying)

SPOILERS FOR 5x10 OFCOURSE

Straight off the bat, I was screaming *internally* and yelling at Mac when he showed the diamond to Bozer. I suspected it yesterday when we got the snippet of Murdoc saying the words DIAMOND and RING with extra emphasis..(everyone on twitter said I was jumping to conclusions.. I thought so too honestly) But damn I did NOT expect them to actually do that!

Now here's why I am not mad about it anymore. [this is my interpretation you are free to disagree]

Firstly, when Mac told Bozer he was going to propose he didnt say I’m doing it because I love Desi or I want to spend the rest of our lives together or because she’s the one (doesn't mean he doesnt care for her ofcourse)

He said “Ever since I lost my dad & Jack, I have been thinking about the bigger picture and a commitment to make things work is exactly what Desi and I need right now. A grand romantic gesture.” He wanted to propose for stability so he could finally be on the same page with her. They never really defined their relationship before and this was a way for Mac to final bring it together. A grand romantic gesture is usually something people use to win their partners back which is what Mac was trying to do I guess. It almost sounds like he has to do it so he doesn't lose her again 

(ill get to my second reason in the end)

Then ofcourse Bozer tells Riley about it so she can be prepared. Bozer is such a good friend. He is supportive of Mac AND wants to protect Riley. I love him for it! He really is doing everything to be the best friend he can to both of them. (Leannas death was so painful and I just want to hug him but thankfully Riley had that covered.)

Next we get the BIG REVEAL. The moment all of us had been waiting for. 

The moment that SHOOK Angus MacGyver and CHANGED EVERYTHING!

Rileys Feelings!

“You want me to say it out loud? Fine. Yes I had feelings for Mac. There I said it. and yeah watching him and Desi together was breaking my heart so I moved out of his house. I should have said something to him a long time ago but I didn’t and now its over. ”

I had the opposite of a HEART ATTACK! (my heart rate was through THE ROOF!)

I have to say they really really outdid themselves on this reveal. 

SIDE NOTE: If anyone comes for Riley and tries to call her a slut or a home wrecker? You will have me to deal with. Even after Murdoc played the clip of her confession she still tried to deny it and brush it off so it wouldn't complicate things for Mac and Desi. If Riley had wanted, she could have easily told Mac this to his face while he was dating Desi and then let things happen from there but she DIDNT. She kept that secret buried so deep she herself was in denial.

(also if anyone calls Mac a player or anything like that.. I will end you. He is doing his best to deal with everything that has happened to him and people keep giving him shit for it....)

Anyways, we see Mac’s expression & he is just confused and shocked and clearly not trying to think about it because it changed EVERYTHING for him. 

[Murdoc saying I THINK IM ON TEAM RILEY was a HUGE HIGHLIGHT for me! I love him so damn much!]

Desi took it really well too actually. If they keep going down this road of growth and maturity for her I think I could actually like her again. (Russ too when he apologised to Bozer) 

She didnt throw a hissy fit or say I knew it or look at Riley like she was the villain. She focused on the mission & I respect her for that.

(Riley does say, “the next thing you are going to hear on that recording-” and then gets cut off by Desi.. If this will come into play at some point later on or if it was just her trying to explain herself, remains to be seen.)

Then after the climax, we finally hear Riley say the words to Mac in real time and we get our FIRST MacRiley hug of the season! 

At this point I thought they would agree to be friends and make the friendzone thing clear BUT NOPE. (you have no idea how happy I am about it not going down like that!)

I was also a puddle on the floor. SO

“Mac look-”

“You don’t have to say anything if you dont want to. Really.”

“I want to. Last year in Germany. I realised I was starting to have feelings for you. Real feelings. I didnt want to make anything weird between you and Desi. I didnt want to mess up our work or our friendship so I decided to bury it. Until the feelings passed.”

“Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Gosh they are so perfect together! The way they look at each other and the HUG! OH MY GOD THE HUG! Its just perfection.

Now we also see this from Desi’s POV. Again no anger or jealousy from her. I think it was an understanding. She realised that she and Mac were never going to work.. maybe a little pain but honestly everything that went down with her and Mac was her fault too. The lack of trust and understanding was always a problem for them. Sure, things were going well but she didnt seem like she was ready for a commitment if im being honest. If Mac had proposed I think Desi would have said no.(again nothing wrong with that) 

She didnt want to label their relationship..they haven't said the words I love you to each other and I dont think they even live together. It really was way too sudden.(these are just things im assuming people define how well a relationship is going by.. I have no experience.)

Then ofcourse we have what im calling the goodbye scene. Its the break up before the break up in my opinion.

Desi tells Mac that they should pretend the last 24 hours never happened (that might actually include Mac wanting to propose but make of it what you will..) and that they should have a clean slate. But its very clear from Mac’s face and Desi sees it too that he isnt 100% onboard with it. He cant forget about it.

Which is when Desi says “Look Mac just do whatever you feel is right” and Mac looks confused.

She then gives him a goodbye kiss. 

Look if you have ever watched any show/movie before where the characters are saying goodbye to each other or breaking each others hearts...THERE IS ALWAYS A KISS ON THE CHEEK. A final farewell of sorts. 

That is what it seemed like to me. It was Desi telling Mac to do what he has to. Even if it inevitably leads to their break up.

Again real emotional maturity from Desi here!

Then we get the scene, Monica Macer (the show runner) tweeted about back in December.

Mac knocking on someones door. If im being honest? I thought it was Desi’s place and he was going to propose...

BUT it turned out to be Riley’s.

Mac clearly hasn't stopped thinking about what happened. I wouldnt either if my best friend who has put her life on the line for me and trusts me 100%, now has feelings for me? That would turn my world upside down too.

especially if I had feelings for her that I buried so deep that I never acknowledged them.

Also this is my scenario for how their first kiss goes down just FYI.. (Mac showing up at Rileys doorstep and finally confessing his feelings and kissing her *probably won't happen that way now though, but I still love it*)

Mac hesitates for a second before finally knocking on her door.

“Mac? Everything okay?”

“I can’t pretend like the last 24 hours didnt just happen. They did. So I gotta ask. Did it work?”

“Did what work?”

“Hiding your emotions and letting it pass. Did they go away?”

and I proceeded to pass out. My brain just checked out...

Now initially in all my freaking out I thought Mac was asking Riley about his feelings. If HE buried them deep enough would he still be able to move on with Desi but then I rewatched it and I realised he was asking RILEY if her feelings were still there, if there was still a possibility of something ever happening. 

She never told him its all good now! my feelings are gone and it was a long time ago. She told him she buried it but he needed to know if a future with Riley was something tangible. 

BASICALLY ANGUS MACGYVER ASKED RILEY DAVIS IF SHE WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM. *I think I need to go to a hospital now*

So this was my second reason for not being annoyed about the proposal. The writers used it to show what a huge impact it would have on Mac. How much Rileys feelings would actually mean to him. the GAME CHANGER it would be.

A friend of mine said it was kinda funny and a little jarring but I liked it. (I could have done without the proposal) But I understand why they did it. They couldnt have Mac and Desi break up the same day Riley’s feelings came out because then people would hate Mac. They had to make him want to take the next step with Desi but then drop a bomb on him, that would make him question everything.

Again this is what I took away from it.

BUT GOSH WAS THIS EPISODE AMAZING!

I do get that some people are not happy with this and some said it was too sudden *not like we’ve been waiting since season 1 or anything* but I think after 5x11 things will slow down again. Mac may break up with Desi only at the end of the season when he finally comes to terms with his feelings. (Some people are still cautious and I get it but after everything that just happened I find it hard to believe that Mac and Riley won't end up together after all.. not to mention the leaked script conversation between Mac and Riley from 5x15)

Now I dont know how the final scene ends.. they definitely dont get called away for their solo mission immediately after because Mac’s cheek injury is relatively healed in this stills, which means Riley does answer Mac’s question. She may try to avoid it or deflect but he is standing right there so...who knows.

Next weeks episode is a MacRIley solo mission and lets just say things definitely are heating up a bit..*wink wink*

YUP IM HYPED. 

BRING ON THE SEXUAL TENSION AND THE ANGST!

[honeypirate]

bestie bestie bakugou

Bakugou and fem!reader, best friends, roommates, loveeee

Warning - swears, mentions of sex

You were walking around the city for hours now, you left the apartment just before sundown and now it’s raining and you think you see the light from the sun turning the clouds lighter on the horizon. You came home after a long day of work, of fighting a villain, of almost not making it back this time, to find your boyfriend, who you didnt even live with mind you, fucking someone else on your bed. You didn’t say anything, you just walked out, quietly, he didn’t even notice. 

The buzzing in your hand caught your attention, making you aware of the heaviness of something in your palm, you raise it to see and then remember it’s your phone. The action causes it to wake up, showing your notifications, 50 missed calls from him and almost as many texts and double the amount of calls and texts from your two best friends

The screen catches the water from the rain as it flows down the surface, you try to unlock your phone, a sudden urge to not be alone hitting you, but your thumb was too cold and wet to unlock with the fingerprint. You go to press in the buttons but the screen doesnt recognize your fingers either, you’re starting to panic, to hyperventilate when the screen lights up, you relax seeing the name pop up and try to answer but you were shaking so much, you brought the phone to your lips, sticking your tongue out to click the green button. 

“Fucking bastard is going to die” he says as he wraps you in a towel, pulling you to his chest, “y/n im so sorry. You’re staying here with me for now on, i’ll go to your place tomorrow and get some of your things and get your key back from that fucker.” he was pissed, fuming, you haven't seen him this mad since high school “Katsuki i couldn't possibly put you out” he holds his finger to your lips “shut up, im insisting, plus this place is too big for just me” you chuckle through the shivers that are now finding your body, your skin and bones finally reacting to the cold as your body shakes uncontrollably. “T-t-thank you K-Kacchan” he sighs and takes your hand, pulling you with him down the hall to the bathroom. 

After a really nice shower, you exit his big ass fancy shower that was really more like a spaceship, you had to use a step stool to get inside it. It had multiple different heads, a steam option, and could even convert into a jacuzzi, if only you didn’t feel like a bath was too close to being a ‘you’ flavored soup. 

You find a change of clothes for you waiting on his bed, a pair of his sweats and one of his shirts, you brought them to your nose, taking a deep breath. They smelled like downey, the yellow kind your parents used to use, it smelt comforting. You slip on his clothes and feel like you’re getting a hug from him. 

When you make it back to the kitchen you have the shivers again, your wet hair making your back wet. He takes one look at you, arms hugged around your body, and he throws you over his shoulder and takes you right back to his room. He sets you down on the bed and then takes a hold of his hood and pulls his hoodie off, shoving it down over your head. “I’m making you some tea and then you are going to talk to me more if you feel like it okay?” you nod with a small smile as you pop your arms through the sleeves. 

Its been six months, Bakugou has helped you heal through your pain, he got you some things from your apartment and got your key back. He also officially, and with pleasure, told your ex to fuck off, that it was over and to never contact you again, with too many threats to count. He really enjoyed it and wanted to do it for a long time but he’d never tell you that. You cut your ex out of your life, easily letting him go because if you caught him cheating once who knows how long he did it, you were 100% okay with never seeing him again, the hard part was waiting for the feelings to go away, to rid yourself of the habit that was your ex. 

You tried to go back to your apartment after a few weeks, it was fine for the most part, you found a completely new bed in your room courtesy of Bakugou and although he denies it wholeheartedly you know no one else would have done that,... but after a few days you called Bakugou, telling him that it just felt empty and that it didn’t feel like your home anymore, he invited you to move in immediately and you never looked back. 

Your new bed and all the furniture you didn't sell sit proudly in the spacious spare bedroom at Bakugous apartment. He was right, this apartment was way too big for one person.

Bakugou had girls over periodically and you didn’t mind them at first, you even made them breakfast sometimes, on the off chance Bakugou slept late and didn’t kick them out immediately. He’s never liked the morning after, the girls he has dated were just to fill the hole in his soul made by the feelings he has developed for you. He’s trying to find one that makes him feel as electric as you make him feel. 

After a month of random girls you start to notice yourself resenting the girls you hear him with, the way they fake moan in the bedroom, loudly just so you will hear and then they will give you evil stares as they walk out in the morning. You asked Yao-Momo for some advice once, calling her after you hear another loud girl as you went to the kitchen for some ice cream, losing your appetite you left the ice cream on the counter and just left the kitchen (just eyerolling when he tried to give you shit about it) . “just ask him to stop” you sigh “I cant do that. I dont want to cause him any trouble. I just dont know why he has to go for girls like that” you fake throw up and she laughs “y/n do you think you like bakugou?” she asks and you gasp “of course not! He’s my best friend! And hes bakugou! I couldnt possibly…” you pause for a while as you think, were you really discovering feelings for the blasty explosion boy? This was such a rub. She just laughs at you from over the phone “unclench your jaw y/n. Dont be so tense” you realize shes right as you release your teeth, relaxing your face and jaw “you know me so well” you say with a laugh “of course i do. I’m your real best friend. Not some ill tempered boy. If you like him great, tell him and he’ll stop fucking randoms or if you dont like him tell him to stop fucking randoms so loud” you laugh “so wise Yao-momo, me lovely sensei Yao-Momo” she laughs at you before you guys have to hang up, both having work in the morning. 

After the next few days you realized just how in love you were with him, getting more and more annoyed with the girls he brought home, not even noticing that they were showing up less and less, pretty soon the random girls have stopped coming over all together, not that you knew that, you still heard what seemed to be sex noises from his room every once in a while, you just assumed he kicked them out right after, not that he was thinking about you and … you know wink wink  

Another six months later  you’re with him on a mission, the villains just keep coming wave after wave, a quirk controlling their (dead before you even came around) bodies, it was never ending, if you stopped fighting they would kill you and you didn’t know who the villain was or where they were. You had your agencies looking for them and until then you had to fight, to keep these bodies occupied so they didn't bring chaos anywhere else. You didn’t talk during the fighting but you both were paying more attention to making sure that the other was fine that you ended up just fighting the villains going after each other. When you get home, battered, bruised, and covered in sweat and blood and many tears, you each take turns showering in his amazing shower, you couldn't use a normal shower for your sore muscles. 

You made a meal for you both quietly as he showered, too tired to speak or do more than was required, when he came to find you he almost cried with relief at your home cooked meal, he was starving. You ate together in silence, both reflecting on the battle, both reliving every moment where you almost lost the other, where you almost lost the fight, feeling more and more anxious the more you thought about it. What would you have done without him? You didnt want to lose him and regret never telling him, but you know you are way to exhausted to speak. 

You stare at each other in the hallway, both wanting to say something, to not leave each other yet. You turn to go and he grabs your hand, pulling you with him into his room before climbing in bed and pulling you along with him down into his soft comfortable bed, he pulls you to his chest and you feel all your stress and anxiety leave your body. He kisses the back of your head “I love you” he whispers into your hair, the only energy he has left. You turn in his arms to look at him and see his eyes blink slowly, he can hardly hold them open anymore. You smile softly “I love you” you whisper back and he sighs, a happy smile on his lips as he lets his eyes close “good” he says and you chuckle, your eyes closing as you lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before allowing yourself to fall asleep, the feeling of his arm around you and the sound of his soft breaths comforting you.

[aenxiome]

Chapter 4: Who do you call when the ghostbuster is on vacation?

When I awake, I find myself tangled up in the bedsheets, half lying on top of Jazz and the other half plastered against the wall. Somehow we ended up looking like a pretzel. When the alarm started to blare, we startled and accidentally crashed into each other. Some part of her hit me in the mouth while my head slammed into her own.

" Oww, Jazz, cant you keep your head to yourself," I whine accusingly while trying to rub away the pain. " ah, that's going to leave a mark," Wincing as I look at her, holding the side of her head rubbing her temple. We carefully separate ourselves from each other, taking in mind our new splitting twin headaches and my own lasting injury from the day before.

I look over at Sam and Tucker, who are also waking up. It seems Sam found a comfortable spot on the floor using a bunch of blankets and a few of my hoodies along with a pillow from who knows where. On the other hand, Tucker fell asleep in my desk chair with his head on his arms lying across the desk. Jazz reaches over and turns off the alarm. She sits up, still half asleep,p and makes her way out of the room. I continue to lay on the bed as Sam and Tucker finish waking up, with Sam going as far as to put away the bedding and hoodies.

"Hey," Tucker says when he sees that I'm awake, " Are you feeling okay? You're not going to pass out again, are you?" Sam turns around at his questioning and exclaimed, "Danny! Your awake!" I smile sheepishly at them, " I'm okay, a little sore, but I'm fine." I attempt to sit up, but a wince accompanies every move. When Sam notices, she comes to sit on the side of the bed and helps me. Once I'm finally up, she engulfs me in a gigantic hug. When she pulls away from the embrace, she puts her hands on her hips and starts yelling, " Do you know how much you scared us!" Finally, she shakes my shoulder with tears brimming in her eyes, " Don't you ever do something like that again!"

" I won't, and I didn't know that would happen." Tucker comes over and joins the conversation. His expression is serious, " Dude, when you fell, it was like we were back in the lab. I thought…" he brakes, choking up, " I don't know what I thought but seeing you like that again." blowing out a shaky breath he finishes, " I thought we lost you this time."

Sam moves out of the way as I reach over and clasp my hand on his shoulder and look him in the eye, " Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." Then, trying to lose the tension, Sam asks, " Hey, do we still have clothes here or," I cut her off, "Oh, yeah, look in the bottom drawer," I say referencing the dresser, "you both should have clothes left in there." They both go to grab clothes and rush off to go get dressed.

I hate lying to them, but I can't guarantee anything. That feeling, just knowing what to do without having to think about it. Just feels so right. It was almost as if, at that moment, I was complete. While, yeah, doing it in my human form was my bad, though. I didn't expect such a big drawback but ill be ready for that next time. Maybe in my ghost form, it won't be so bad, though? I'll have to test this, but where…. " The bathroom is free," Sam shouts as she goes by the door freeing me of my musing. Tucker leaves the room to get ready, and I attempt to get up.

Every mussel protests as I force my fist into the top of the mattress and gingerly force myself to stand. I fight my tight muscles and straighten myself trying to keep my balance. I force myself to walk around the room and get ready for the day. With every step I take and arm movement, I make pain shoots through me. Up through my legs and into my waist into my joints and up inside my chest, my core, I feel pain. When moving my arms, they feel like a ton of bricks, making them feel heavy. I wince as I change my clothes and then put on a neutral face and make my way to the kitchen.

When I get there, the three of them are around the kitchen table eating cereal, but no Mom or Dad to be seen. Jazz sees me first, immediately getting up and forcing me into a chair, which I am so grateful for despite my neutral deposition. " What are you doing down here?" She hisses, " You should still be in bed." I grab a box of cereal and shove my hand in while replying, "as I told them," gesturing to my friends, " I'm fine." Grabbing me a bowl, she says, " You could barely walk stand hours ago. Let alone walk on your own. I'm not buying it." I avoid looking at her while providing my defense, " Spead healing remember. Im better."

" If your sure, man, but wouldn't you rather stay home? Sam had to help you sit up earlier." Tucker says. Jazz points at me righteously, " See, you need your rest! Go back to bed." She demands. I shake my head in refusal, " I can't afford to miss any more school. I'll be fine, I swear." We all continue arguing about my attendance when eventually Jazz gives up but forces an ultimatum, "fine, you can go, but no ghost fighting! Not until your 100%." I groan in response, " Then what are we going to do if a ghost attacks?" I question.

"We can handle it." Said Sam determined. "But what if-" I start to interject but can cut off by Sam, " We help you all the time. Doing it by ourselves won't be hard, you'll see. After all, three is better than one." I relent and let go of my argument. It doesn't take long for us to finish eating and head to Jazzes car.

The struggle starts as soon as we get out the door. The box ghost has managed to get out again. Before anyone can stop me, I fire off a carefully placed ectoblast and force him down. A second later, I pull out my thermos, and he was immediately sucked up and defeated. Maybe it was a cheap attack, but with the way things are currently beggars, can't be choosers.

"Danny!" Jazz shouts accusingly. " What?" At the angry looks, I sigh and continue, "It was only the Boxxy." Tucker tilts his head in question while sam voices their confusion, "Boxxy?" I nod my head agreeing with the name, "Yeah, Boxxy." Tucker looks as if he has swallowed a lemon, "you're giving the ghost nicknames now?" Great something else for us to argue over, "So? Why does it matter? They give me nicknames, So I can give them ones." They still don't look happy, but we are running out of time. "Can we talk about this later? Were going to be late." Tucker takes a look at his PDA and shows it to the others. The conversation is done.

For now.

They may not like what I did, but in my opinion, it is well worth it. One less ghost for them to worry about.

We all pilled in and traveled in silence to the school, barely making it in time. Before we get out, Jazz stops us to give a lecture, "Danny, no fighting today. Not with the ghosts, not with Dash, not with anyone. Understood?"

"Yeah, Yeah," I reply, sulking, "I know."

Then she turns to Sam and Tucker, " Now you two, keep Danny out of trouble. If anything gets out of hand, let me know, and I will take care of it." They answer simultaneously, " We've got it." Then, she turns back to me once again, " if the pain gets too bad, let me know, and I'll take you home."

" I'll be fine," I reassure her.

"If you say so," she says, not in the mood for an argument.

We enter just as the warning bell rings, making me feel a bit bad. While anymore I'm habitually late for just about everything, that doesn't mean that they are. We rush to homeroom and make it just in time to reach our new assigned seats and get ready for class.

The day is just beginning.

How hard could one Friday be?

A lot harder than expected.

As soon as the class finished, I headed out for my next class when I felt something. I was pulled by the back of my shirt into another hallway, separating me from Sam and Tucker. I get pushed up against the wall making an echoey thump in the hallway. I look around the hall, empty, then look up at my kidnapper. Lo and behold, it's just Dash again. When is this guy going to give me a break? I mean, this is ridiculous. Doesn't he have a life? This whole hallway meet-up is starting to become a cliche at this point. So instead of paying attention to Dashs' pathetic reasonings for his grab and go, I drown him out and internally ask the really important questions like:

Does this count as Kidnapping? While yes, I have been taken without my consent, I haven't left the building. So maybe this would be a forced separation? Abduction? Couldn't this be considered as a criminal ac-.

My thoughts get cut off as his fist lands in my stomach. I blanch from the sucker punch feeling my cereal trying to make its way back up. I manage to swallow it back down just as another punch makes contact. I try to keep my composer, but my body just can't take it. A small dribble of vomit makes its way out of my mouth and onto Dashs' arm. " Ew!" He exclaims, "Did you just spit up on me! Uggh, what's wrong with you, Fenton." With a look of disgust on his face, almost as he can't believe I got sick on him, he turns around and goes back into the main hall while I book it to the nearest trash can.

I manage to spit out what I had come up without losing any more of my breakfast. I lean up against the wall trying to pull myself back together. The punches, while weak, still hurt. The force made my core pulsate as if trying to come forward to protect me. When it pulsated, I could feel how strained it is. Even with its call for me, my core is weak, throbbing for reprieve.

The minute bell starts to ring as I force myself down the hallway, gritting my teeth, trying to stop the pain. It takes longer than usual for me to get there, oh how I wish, scratch that (you never know when you-know-who is listening *cough* Desiree *cough*), would love to be able to float right now. Thankfully I didn't get in any more trouble than a simple tardy on my record when I showed up. Being known for bathroom issues can come with its perks.

Classes so far today have been my saving grace. Especially since we have health instead of P.E this week, if I had to move around much more, it would have become the end of me. Not that the hallways aren't trying to get to me first.

To make it even better, So far, the only ghostly activity has been a couple of blobs. Hopefully, by the end of the day, I will somewhat be back to normal.

Once we are let out for lunch, I slowly make my way to the cafeteria. Once I get there, I spot Sam and Tucker near the back of the room already with their food. Sam, of course, has some kind of green thing. I can't tell what it is, but I know it's the opposite of Tuckers. I can identify his food, a leftover pork chop, and other assorted non-veggies make up his lunchbox.

After the Lunch Lady incident at the beginning of the year, they started to favor meals from at home rather than the schools. Sam for the issue with her not being able to eat what they serve as it is not to her taste, and Tucker for his issue with " stinky ectoplasm messing with beautiful meat." Apparently ecto- contaminated meat is where he draws the line with his obsession.

Me on the other hand, I am more than willing to risk it. A meal that Jazz and I didn't cook with less than a 70% chance of coming to life, sign me up. On the off chance that I do bring something from home, it is always factory-sealed junk food. I don't want to be known as the guy who brought murder hotdogs to lunch.

"Danny!" I hear coming from their spot, calling me over to them. I sit down across from them, letting out a relieved sigh. "There you are," Sam says, relieved, " we were getting ready to come to look for you. We thought Dash cramped you into a locker again." Thankfully not, I can't help but think. Those things are cramped. When I got to class after Dashs' interference, they weren't pleased about what had gone down. Tucker looked almost murderous when he found out what kept me.

" Aren't you going to get any food, dude?" Tucker asks between mouthfuls of food. "Nah," I reply and gesture to the line, " there is no way ill be able to get anything before lunch is over." The lines go down the walls of the cafeteria until right before the door. " I'm not hungry anyway," I say, lying through my teeth. " Are you sure?" Sam asks, quirking her eyebrow at me. " Yeah, I'm sure. If I change my mind, I'll get something." Satisfied, we turn our attention to small talk.

After a while, our conversation heads back to current events. " So, what do you plan to do about the ice thing?" Sam asks. I tilt my head a little in confusion, " What ice thing?" I get two looks of exasperation back before Sam slowly says, " You know the thing from the lot." Oh, that ice thing, " I thought that was all taken care of? It's not there anymore, so what is there to worry about?"

"Yeah, it's gone, but where did it come from? It's not like there are a lot of ghosts that can make ice." Tucker points out. A feeling of understanding rushes through me as I part my lips, " Ohh, did I forget to tell you?" Both of them look at me dumbfounded as I wait for an answer. I slump down farther in my seat as I reveal, " The ice is mine." Eyes wide, Sam questions, " You made a spike of Ice?" I nod my head then she continues angry with my omission, " why didn't you tell us!? We thought there was a new ghost on the loose!"

"I thought you guys knew," I say, throwing my hands up in defense. "I'll admit I've never done something like that before, but I thought you would have realized it came from me. As Tuk said, there aren't many ghosts who can make ice." Tucker comes to their defense, "It's not like we have ever seen you do that before." I sigh in understand then try to create the end of the discussion, " I plan to go to the Farfrozen to see Frostbite anyway. After what happened yesterday, I need to know what's going on with me."

"What do you-" Tucker gets cut off by a scream. The whole room goes dead silent. Then, another scream comes right after echoing through the room. After a second, just about everyone is jumping out of their seats in a panic. Sam and Tucker rush to their bags and start pulling out ecto-weapons. " Sit here," Sam orders, " let us take care of it."

"Yeah, Yeah," I blow them off, "well, at least the line is gone. I'm going to grab a bag of chips or something." Another scream echoes out, and they start running towards the door. "Be careful!" I yell out at their backs, but they are already out the door. I get up and go through an empty line and buy some pre-packaged foods and then make my way back towards my seat.

I take a few minutes to eat what I want then put the rest in my bag. I look towards a clock that's in the room and see that almost ten minutes have gone by. Against their orders, I pick up my things and go towards the chaos. Once I make it to them, I see something that I would never have expected. In the middle of the hallway are Sam, Tucker, and Jazz, tangled up with two Ecto-Octopi.

One of them has Tucker hanging upside down, holding him by his ankle. While another has Sam squashed beneath its tentacles and shaking her like a rag doll. Jazz, on the other hand, is the only one who is armed. She Is hiding behind a trashcan with a lipstick blaster.

I stare at the chaos in front of me and can't help but to say, " what in the zone is going on!?" My yell startles everyone. Even the Octopi.

"Danny!" They all holler simultaneously, the people, not the Octopi. " Getaway, we've got this!" Sam yells back. " This what you call handled?!" I say, hands out, gesturing to the scene in front of me.

I walk over to Jazz and take the lipstick blaster away and start over towards the ghosts. Using the lipstick blaster, I hit the Octopus holding Sam and the eye. The pain startled them, and they quickly released its tentacle from around her. Sam hurried away and rushed over towards me. " Give the blaster to me, let us handle it" I ignore her and push us away from the octopus just as a tentacle comes slamming down onto the tile floor.

" Get back, let me handle it!" I say in a rush, " You too Jazz," looking back towards her. I make my way forward with the blaster and go to the octopus keeping Tucker. I carefully point the blaster at its tentacle with a steady hand and fastly slash downward with it cutting it off. The tentacle and Tucker drop towards the ground. The heat from the blaster cauterizes the wound leaving only the ectoplasm from the cut limb to bleed out.

Tucker rushes over to safety as I use the blasters to hit them in the eye once again. While being temporarily blinded, they flail their limbs around, trying to hit everything around them. I, on the other hand, quickly reach into my bag and look for a Fenton Thermos. As soon as I find one, I quickly pull off the cap and suck the octopi up and seal them in.

Once everything is in the clear, I slump down to the floor, huffing for breath. Letting the adrenaline wear off, I stay sitting on the floor while everyone else comes to me. "What were you thinking!" Jazz exclaimed while slamming into me with a hug, " Are you hurt? You should have stayed away. Your powers are out. Don't you realize how dangerous this was?" Giving her an accusing look, I can't help but point out, " I am better off than you. A lipstick blaster? What happened to the weapons you guys took with you?" I ask turning to, my friends. Tucker, mumbling with a blush plastered on his face, admits, " They ate them."

I stare at them, starting to lose some color. Then, stumbling with my words, I stutter out, "Ate them? They ate the weapons, oh my, that's not good." Jazz and I both look at each other with a look of doom. "What, what is it?" Sam asks, now worried due to our reactions. " Those weapons weren't normal Fenton weapons." Jazz confesses. " What do you mean?" Tucker asks, confused, " Your parents made them, right?"

Jazz looks over to me for approval which I don't give before she answers, " Those weapons were advanced models. They aren't supposed to be available to the public." I interject, " Since the weapons are made of metal and not an organic ectoplasmic substance, the octopi won't be able to digest it. So meaning eventually they are going to spit the weapons back up." Looking at them and seeing that they are listening, I continue worried, " there is no way to tell when they are going to drop them, and whoever picks them up could hurt someone."

Before we get a chance to talk, any more noises start making their way through the hall. Sam, Tucker, and I go back towards the cafeteria, but before we get too far, Jazz calls out to me, "Danny," I stop to look at her, " I think its best if you go home." Then, giving her a betrayed look for her suggestion, she elaborates, "you don't look too good. Your really pale, and your barely moving."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I reply stubbornly. Sighing, she walks over to me and takes my bag, " Come on, I'll drive you home." Before I can get out a protest, she reminds me, " You need to go to the Farfrozen right? What better time to go than when Mom and Dad are going to be on a ghost hunt." With that, I stopped protesting and let her lead me to the car.

[draco-and-tom]

TW!!!-  Mentions of suicide attempt, Mentions of suicide note, Mentions of alcohol, Mentions of grooming, Mentions of sexual assault, Mentions of cheating, Mentions of early eating disorder signs. Please let me know If you catch any I didn’t say.

This is about Talia (@satans-little-devil) Okay, so it has come to my attention that I have been played long story short. It all started when she sent in this request. I love requests and was delighted to write for her. Talia would keep checking up on me and asking if I ate/drank etc. We started talking and becoming friends and after about 2 weeks she started getting flirty. I did not know her age at the time so I would flirt back. I'm a little flirty with all of my friends so I didn't see anything wrong with it. After about another week we got even more flirty and on a Friday of (I think) April we started dating. I called her 2 times while we were dating and both times she had an excuse for why she couldn't speak, only listen. On those calls I told her how alcohol and sexual abuse were triggers for me which will come into play later. We dated for 3 days till she told me that she wasn't comfortable with my age, so we were going to wait a bit. We continued to do the exact same things as we were doing before. We weren't supposed to talk romantically to anyone else, we weren't supposed to kiss, touch others, anything like that. After about a week of that is when the suicide attempt and letter posts happened. She had told me about how her parents were abusive and I even supposedly got her in trouble because of our messages. Her parents are homophobic and her sister read through them, then told their parents. I don't even know if I believe this anymore because I've had a gut feeling about this and some things didn't add up which I will get into later. That night I begged her to not do it and told her a whole bunch of things to get her to stop. I even messaged a random person I saw on her blog a couple of times (that I did not know) seeking help. She ended up telling me that I had convinced her and that her parents needed her for chores or something. At this point I'm blowing up her phone, because she hasn't answered me in a while and I'm starting to get worried. She answers me after a few more minutes and tells me that she’s okay and going for a drive. I tell her that's fine, but to be safe because the last time she told me that she got into her wreck. She told me that she would be and once again she stops answering completely. I blew up her phone a lot at this point because i was so scared that something had happened to her. I woke up around once every hour to check our messages and send new ones. I wake up around 3 or 4 in the morning and see that she messaged me back. I read it and she tells me about a post that her sister made for her talking about the attempt. I keep talking to her and she keeps saying sorry and so do I. After a couple of days all of her surgeries are done and she is resting in the hospital. That weekend I get random messages from her telling me things that I couldn't quite make out. She ended up telling me about a day later that she was in a Christian mental hospital and that the messages were her trying to get help. This is why she was saying things like “I'm fine they told me themselves”. She was talking about the nuns. I was pretty skeptical about this because I’ve been told by people I know that they take away electronics from patience there so I asked her how she still had her phone. She told me that she didn't and that they allowed her to have her school lap top. Me being me thought that it was odd, and decided to trust her because I thought that we were close. I’ve always been a trusting person and refused to act on all of the red flags that I saw. She told me that her parents forged her signature, but later she informed me that she found out her doctor signed her into the mental hospital/group home type place. After a while she seemed to be getting better and told me that she liked it better there because she didn't have to deal with her parents. A few days later she informs me about a friend named Blake. Apparently he was one of her friends that she had known since elementary school. She told me that they were really close and that they cuddled which I was uncomfortable with because I'm a very jealous/territorial person, but I let it slide because I felt that I was over reacting and she shouldn't have to change her friendship habits for me. The next day were talking and she tells me that they kiss in a “friend” kind of way. I don't know exactly what that means to her, but that was were I told her in made me upset. She told me that he was gay and that he had a fiancé that he loved dearly. A few moments later all of the sudden Blake is bisexual. She tells me to not worry about him and I brush it off. The next day I am informed that Blake’s boy friend cheated and they broke up. She started telling me about how He would get drunk and become violent and would tell her to hide the alcohol from him. I asked her how he got it in the first place since they were in a mental hospital after all. She basically told me that the nuns didn't care. One of the days he got drunk she told me that he sexually assaulted her. I told her that it was not okay and that she should cut him off. She said no because he was one of her best friends. I eventually convinced her to at least talk to him about it and they ended up crying. We ended up setting boundaries for them. After all of that cleared up she tells me about a friend named Jacob she had coming to visit. Before reading this part please note that I am a minor. I have no experience with sexual matters other than what I see and read, so I have no clue how communication during works. I'm obviously not innocent, considering I run a smut page, but I am not sexually active either. Talia would always push me into sexual things, but in the end I always gave my consent. We didn't do anything overly sexual, just texting. She would always tease me about doing sexual things with both of her friends even though she knew it bothered me. One time she did and told me that she did sexual things with him. I didn't believe her. Later in the day I told her to be nice and that I wasn't mad to which she responds with something like “you aren't mad about Jason?”. At this point I was a little confused and asked if they actually did anything and she ends up saying that they did. She basically blamed it on me and I ended up feeling bad for 2 reasons. 

1. I had just been cheated on for the first time

2. I felt like it was my fault.

she said that she was sorry, but I was being too mean and she wanted to be good for someone and that I should have known. By this point in our relationship I started developing eating issues. I would get so stressed out that if I even thought about eating I felt like I would throw up. I told her about it, but did not tell her what the cause of my eating problems were. After a couple of days I'm having a good time at the beach on vacation. She knew that I was on vacation and that I was trying to relax because of my recent problems having to do with her, and just life in general. About 2 nights ago she messages me and tells me that she kissed Jason again. I’m going to try not to show too much emotion in this because i don't want to trauma dump you guys, so ill say the rest as good as I can. I forgave her again. I told her that if it happened again that we were over and she agreed. everything went fine and yesterday was actually pretty smooth sailing. Me and her had nice talks. Her friend messaged me and she asked me to block her, and I did. The only thing that was bothering me at this time is that she started to stop talking to me earlier in the day. The schedule change was drastic. We used to message throughout from around 9am-1am, and it recently changed to around 12pm-8pm. Today I woke up, got ready to leave my hotel, and messaged her at about 7am. In the car I messaged her and told her that I might not be able to talk for awhile because i lost my charger. she ends up responding with “hiii” and that was the last message I got and will probably get from her, because when I got back home and checked my messages her whole account was de-activated. I unblock her friend and ask her if Talia is okay. her friend still hasn't answered, even though I don't think I want her to anymore. I saw a couple posts about her, but didn't believe them until i saw an ask from @sexy-for-cedric about @were-not-doing-get-help  ‘s post. If it wasn't for that I would probably still be on her side, but knowing that I was cheated on ATLEAST 3 times in a month by the same person sent me over the edge. I understand that what she did was horrible, but please don't tag me in any posts shunning her or saying dreadful things about her. I know that its wrong for me to, but I still love her and I hope you all understand that I hate myself for it, so please don't be rude to me. I was already nervous enough to post this. And if anyone tries to tell me how I feel trust me, I know how i felt about her. I have a locket with her picture in it that I cant wear anymore. I hope anyone that is going through what I am knows that my dms are always open and that this is not your fault.

And Talia if you are seeing this I'm sorry and I truly do love you, but the pain started to be too much as of today when I found out. I'm sorry, I hope you find your way in life. I hope you are okay.

People I think should read this: @sexy-for-cedric @were-not-doing-get-help @georgeswh0re @quindolyn @krasivayadarling @inureflower @just-the-best-devil @mrzweasley

[angsty-omi]

PART 2 OF UNLOCKED EMOTIONS

part 1

ushijima wakatoshi x fem!reader

lowercase intended

warnings: anxiety, cheating, cursing, some semi nsfw scenes and most importantly, pure angst.

it started out simple. toshi would make a plan to go somewhere, and rin would tag a long. she is his girlfriend after all. but you soon started to notice that she was always there. even when your families would have dinner with each other. at some point, you couldn’t take it.

there was this one night where you didn’t even wanna go downstairs because you knew they were there. sitting in your dining chairs, using your silverware, probably making out in the bathroom. you slammed your head on the bed trying to get that image out of your head. stop it y/n. you made an excuse that you were ill, which technically you were lovesick.

it wasn’t surprising that soon you and toshi faded as friends. you needed space even then, your feelings didn’t change at all. instead it was even passionate than before. before, you never felt a sense of urgency in telling him. but now you wanted him more than ever. you needed him. seeing him walking down the halls with her. hand in hand, walking down the hallway and past your locker. your chest was tight. she would stick her tongue out at you, and ushijima never noticed. “what a child,” you thought to yourself. but you couldn’t say anything, she was just trying to gaslight you so you could scream at her and ushijima would have to choose between the two of you.

continuous weeks of her microagressions at you, you learned to let that not bother you. rin noticed and had to up the ante.

during 5th period, you started feeling very anxious out of nowhere. you could feel a pair of eyes laser into you. you had asked permission to go to the restroom and the teacher gave you the hall pass. you immediately rushed to the sink scrubbing your face. repeatedly rinsing.

you looked up to your side and saw her. rin. this startled you. “do you need something?” you asked nicely, secretly about to have a meltdown.

to be quite frank, your meltdowns were rough. it was a period of time where you felt no remorse for anything. no one really knew about this condition, except for your family. it’s not worth mentioning because they’ll think you’re a psychopath and it doesn’t happen quite frequently. it’s only when you’re a ticking bomb, under lots of pressure. like.. like.. right now?

you could feel the symptoms coming and so was rin, she started to come closer to your face.

“y/n, you think i’m an idiot don’t you? you don’t think i see the way you look at him?.” now she was only a few inches away, “god you’re pathetic, you can’t even deny my accusations. you’re in love with someone who’s taken, you fucking whore. you. cant. have. him... it’s truly sad y/n, you even had a head start. all that time was wasted, and all i had to do was to just be in his presence for a day and he fell for me.” she giggled. her high pitched giggle was ringing in your ears.

“stop,” you thought, “please just make it stop.” you’d do anything. meltdown y/n was just not someone to be reckoned with. it’s not a threat, it’s the truth. not five seconds later, your clenched fist met with her eurocentric face. then you were on top of her, not even thinking just doing. just your fists continuously smashing her petite porcelain face. until there was a whole crowd, the teachers finally were aware of the situation.

soon there was an administrator holding you back. angry tears flooding your eyes. you wanted more revenge. hearing her whimpers, you smiled. this. this made you happy. then you were shut back down when you heard someone calming her down. you looked up and saw ushijima. your eyes met. his with much fury, and yours with much sorrow. “how could you do this, y/n? from now on, just leave us alone. don’t even acknowledge me. don’t look our way. don’t even breathe the same air as us.” he threatened with such a serious tone.

the whole reason you hated your meltdowns were not just the no remorse thing, but how after it is finished, the guilt hit you like a truck. leaving you in a serious depressive state. and you were suspended for two weeks. great.

you were trapped in your bedroom. after you got home from that day, your parents immediately grounded you, and took your phone. no contact with the outside world. no contact with ushijima. not like it mattered anyway. sometimes you would think to yourself if he ever thought about you like that. that if he imagined about you the same way you imagined about him. or if he ever wished that it was you next to him down the hallways. being alone with your thoughts was not fun. with no phone to distract you, or school, it was terrifying. every waking moment was lonesome.

it had only been five miserable days.

you couldn’t take it anymore. you needed a breather, and needed it now. you begged your mom to let you go on a walk, and she gave you the thumbs up. you decided to go to the nearest park.

there were very fond memories of you and ushijima together. the latest one was when they won nationals last year, and you guys celebrated on the swings, with a shot of grocery store rated tequila. very disgusting.

the park was empty. most people would find a playground depressing with no kids. but that’s how you liked it. quiet, but it’s purpose and physical attributes brought joy to people’s face. you decided to take a seat on the swings. dragging your legs back and forth, back and forth. dazed and honestly so mentally tired. you slowly started to doze off.

footsteps. you heard footsteps.

still with your eyes closed, “if i die then i die, i’m too lazy to budge,” you thought to yourself. the footsteps were getting louder. and then you hear a bunch of chains moving next to you.

“killer chains?” you thought. this bitch

no. you were wrong. those were swing chains. someone had sat next to you. still keeping your eyes shut, hoping that the stranger would just leave.

until you heard his voice,

“y/n, why did you do that to rin? how could you hurt her when you know how important she is to me? she told me that you liked me. for years. why didn’t you tell me?”

“why was he talking to me? breathing the same air as me? and also, would that have made a difference if i told you?” you thought.

“i’d be lying if i said i never had feelings for you, but, god y/n i’m dating someone now. i am a faithful man. and you know, if you weren’t just so prideful, and just told me.. maybe things would’ve been different,” he continues, still thinking that you’re sleeping.

your mom called everyone looking for you. obviously you didn’t have your phone and you still weren’t back from your supposed walk. ushijimas parents forced him to go look for you. he, previously, being your best friend knew the top three spots you’d be at.

“but they’re not,” your voice whispered with an icy tone. it was like bitter in your mouth.

his eyes widened like he just saw a ghost. he didn’t want to hear your answer. he wasn’t ready. but it was too late, it was already rolling. “and what do you mean if i wasn’t so prideful? i didn’t tell you because i was looking out for your FUTURE. volleyball is your main priority and you said you wanted to be the best. so tell me why, as your best friend, would i jeopardize that?” you slight raised your voice.

ushijima frowned, “are you seriously telling me what I want? emphasis on the I? do you think you know me or something y/n? who are you to be put into a position where you can decided what or who i want?” raising his voice even louder. “the fact that you would just assume that... bothers me, how you already planned my future... bothers me, how you always try to pry me open... bothers me, WE AREN’T EVEN DATING.” he noted.

you were mortified. “how could you even say that? sorry that i wanted you to feel? instead of being a huge cold hearted douche. i’ve only ever had good intentions and now you’re better with emotions. you even got yourself a girlfriend, ushijima.” you defend, tears swelling up in your eyes.

“oh, so i go by ushijima now? how petty can you seriously be y/n? face the facts i got a girlfriend, and you dropped me like i was nothing,” he snarled.

“what an idiot. can’t he see that it was the complete opposite” you screamed on the inside.

you took a deep inhale, “drop you like you were nothing? are you fucking serious? I WAS FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU, and listen, i did this for myself. seeing you with HER, everyday killed me. i deadass felt like my heart was smashed and stomped on. and it didn’t help that she was always flaunting your guys’ relationship around me. that’s why i stopped... right now, i can’t even look at you, because if i did, i would fall right back into that pit. all this pain, brought because i was in lo—” you got cut off.

by something warm. and it tasted like peppermint. it was soft, but the pressure put on it seemed rough. you were kissing ushiji-toshi. you, y/n, were kissing toshi. his large hand gripped your cheek, wiping the tears off your face with his thumb. the kiss was very passionate, like it was something you both craved, but fiery, because you guys were still angry at each other. continuously fighting for dominance, and he beat you. his tongue slipped in. you unexpectedly moaned into the kiss and it was music to his ears. how bittersweet that was, you felt embarassed. he never heard you like that. so desperate. and so needy. he trickled down to your jawline then to your neck. you tugged on his hair out of instinct, and could feel his mouth vibrate against your neck. it was intoxicating for both parties.

he pulled away, and you stayed there frozen.

he then, put his thumb on your lips, and whispered in your ear, “don’t ever say that you loved me, like it was past tense,” before moving back to his side of the swing.

you just kissed your best friend, who had a girlfriend. and no matter how much of a bitch she was, you still felt guilty nonetheless. you guys sat there in silence, still trying to process what just happened. you smiled while looking at the slides. you just couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. you remembered about your parents and how they’re probably worried, and so you got up from the swing and opened your hand out for toshi. “c’mon, let’s go home, it’s wednesday.” you smiled.

-

a/n; this part i’m so proud of. my best one uet. even tho i only wrote two fics. and this is just wave one. you think this ended on a happy note? lmao okay. stop reading at part 2 if you want a happy ending. don’t force yourself to feel the pain. like, follow, or repub for another part or to see more of me.

[sarah-writes-marvel]

Don’t: Bucky Barnes x Reader (platonic)

S.S: Heyo, its been a while since posting a story so here you go! BE CAUTIOUS!!! This fic ca nbe ver ytrigger so read at your own risk! Thank you guys hope you all had a wonderful holiday season!

Warnings: !!TW!! cutting, depressive/sucidial thoughts, anxiety, bleeding, needles, MAJOR ANGST and some fluff

Word Count: 1,798

Again, please read at your own risk!! Thank you!!

MASTERLIST

------------------------------------------------------------------

The events of Endgame had affected everybody. The loss of Tony, Nat, and Vision, the resignation of Cap, Thor off in space, and Bruce was somewhere in Europe helping develop cures for diseases, everything had changed. There were only a few who stayed around the reconstructed compound anymore. Those few including Bucky, Wanda, Sam, and me. 

It was usually quiet, sometimes Pepper, Morgan, and Rhodes stopped by to see how things were going. Peter always came after school to see if we needed help on missions. T’challa and Shuri always checked in over the video call, same with many of our off-world allies. Valkyrie even checked in every once in a while, per Thor’s request when he couldn’t. It was nice, but nothing would ever be the same, and everyone knew that.

We each had our own ways of coping. The four of us that lived in the compound did our best not to bother each other. Bucky usually locked himself in his room, Sam went on runs, Wanda meditated and I blasted music so loud that I couldn’t hear my thoughts. It probably wasn’t the best way to cope but if it helped, it helped.

It was one of those days where memories flooded and tears fell without a second thought, so I plugged in my headphones and laid back in my bed getting lost in the bass vibrating in my eardrums. I watched the blades of my ceiling fan turn painfully slow while the urge to eat crept on me. I turned to my clock and realized that it was around noon and I hadn’t eaten since sometime yesterday. So I wiped the few stray tears away and managed to roll out of bed, feeling the cold wooden floor beneath my feet.

I pulled an earbud from my ear, even turned the music down just slightly as I walked down the hall. Even though there was plenty of room to spread out the four of us decided to share a hallway, the close proximity giving some comfort in the time of difficulty. It was nice.

As I passed a certain door, the sound of a muffled cry reached my ear. It was Bucky’s door. I understood why it had been so hard for him to lose Steve. He had been Bucky’s anchor in life, and his comforter after the whole Hydra situation. He had to put on a brave face before Steve left to return the stones, knowing that the punk of a friend would stay and live his life. He had to bite back the tears when he saw Steve sitting on the wooden bench, hair turned white from age and skin wrinkled. 

I took a step closer, removing my other earbud and pausing my music so I could hear better, pressing my ear gently against the door. Another strangled sob came from the other side along with a guttural scream. I felt awful, I wanted to check in but I didn’t want to bother him if he just wanted to be left alone. But I went against the latter and gently knocked on the door.

“Bucky? Are you ok?” I asked. The only reply I got was muffled sobs. Maybe he hadn’t heard me. So I knocked again a little harder. “Bucky?” Again, nothing but crying.

I took a minute, maybe he just needed a minute before he answered. So I waited, listening to the pained cries until I couldn’t take it.

“Bucky, I’m coming in,” I called through the door. I turned the knob and opened the door to see Bucky on the floor, sitting against the side of his bed, a throwing dagger in his metal hand, and fresh bloody cuts along his flesh forearm.

“Bucky? What are you doing, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” I closed the door before moving towards him, tossing my headphones and phone onto his bed before kneeling beside him. I took the stained knife from his metal grip, tossing it across the floor to pick up later, and pressed my hand over his cuts to minimize the bleeding causing him to hiss in pain.

“Please, please don’t.” he cried, his metal digits wrapping around my wrist.

“Buck, I’m gonna help you no matter how much you might not want it. I’m not gonna leave you,” I told him, looking into his lifeless blue-grey eyes.

“That’s what Steve said, now he’s gone. How do I know you aren’t lying?” his voice was weak and quiet, scared almost.

“I’m not Steve, I’m not going anywhere. I swear on my life,” My hand still pressed against his bleeding cuts. “But this needs to be a mutual agreement, so you cant leave me either. At least not right now. So I need your help, alright? I need you to work with me here Barnes.”

His gaze was hazy but he nodded and let go of his grip on my wrist.

“We need to get you to the bathroom, and I know I might be strong but your much heavier than you look, no offense.” I smile, trying to bring some light to the situation. Luckily I saw a small smirk form on his paling face before he nodded again. 

I removed my hold on his arm, standing up and reaching my hands down to pull him up, which was successful as he used the bed to help. His left arm wrapped around my shoulder as we shuffled to the bathroom where I set him on the toilet.

I grabbed the darkest washcloth in his cupboard of towels, pressing it against his wrist and placing his metal hand over it.

“I need you to keep the pressure on that, please. I know it probably hurts but you gotta do it,” I commanded gently, squeezing his hand around his arm. He simply nodded as his eyes followed mine lethargically. I continued to look through the cupboards for his first aid kit.

“Top cupboard to the left.” He sounded tired and I didn’t blame him. I had walked in on him sitting in a small puddle of his own blood and the emotional toll this event has all taken on us was more than enough reason to be tired. I opened the cupboard he suggested and retrieved the kit from the shelf opening it quickly and pulling out what I needed.

Even when the blood had been dripping from the cuts I knew some were deep enough for stitches, so I pulled the needle and suture thread from the box, gaining a groan from Bucky.

“I’m sorry but I know those cuts are too deep. It’ll only be a stitch or two and ill make it as painless as possible Buck, you just gotta stay with me.” I replied, looking at him. He replied with a nod as tears streamed down his face. I quickly wiped one away before sending him a small smile and returning to my task.

“Alright hun, we need to clean your arm so I can make clean stitches,” I stated, standing in front of him holding my hands out again to help him to the sink. He took my hands and hauled himself from his position and made his way to sink and began washing the cuts under the running water, wincing at the stinging pain.

Once he was back on his seat, I carefully patted the area dry with the used towel and began stitching the larger cuts. I only paused when Bucky hissed in pain or jerked away after I had pulled the thread through. A chorus of apologizes came from my mouth, and from his.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” his usual stern, strong voice was broken and came out in whispers.

“Buck, you dont have to apologize. It’s alright, life gets hard, it’s only logical to find a coping mechanism. It’s ok hun. It’s not your fault.” I cooed, trying to calm him.

“But I do, I just tried to kill myself because, what? Because I’m sad that my friend left me to be happy? How pathetic is that?” He denied, shaking with anger and sadness.

“It’s not pathetic because it is completely valid.” I began pulling the last stitch tight. “Life gets hard, and you have been through hell and back too many times to count. We have to cope with it somehow and pain can be a distraction, though not always the best option.” I continued looking at his sorrowful tear-filled eyes.  “Steve was your rock, the person you went to with every issue. And now without him, you feel lost and your drowning under the metaphorical waves of life. So your feelings are valid, and your actions were valid, just not the right way to go about it.” I finished as I wrapped gauze and Coban around the fresh stitches.

A moment of silence filled the bathroom as I finished wrapping his arm and cleaned up the supplies that had been used.

“How are you so good at this? Why weren’t you phased?” he questioned, breaking the eerie silence.

“That, my dear friend, is a conversation for another time. You need to focus on yourself right now.” I said with a smile while I watched my hands.

He looked away, down to his bandaged arm flexing his fist as the muscles shifted the bandage.

“Thanks,” he said quietly. “For helping me.” His eyes looked to mine, the small spark of hope back in his irises.

“It’s what friends do,” I replied. “Now you need some sleep,” I said helping him from the toilet and leading him back to his bed. Moving my phone and headphones out of his way, he settled onto his bed grabbing the fleece blanket from the foot of his bed and pull it over himself.

I carefully help before grabbing my phone and the knife on the floor and turning to leave. 

“Wait. I-uh- could you stay? Please.” he sounded like an innocent little boy who was scared of the monsters under the bed.

“Ya, of course I can.” I smiled, crawling into bed next to him. I sat with my back against the headboard, Bucky’s head on my lap, and his bandaged arm wrapped over my legs. My fingers found their way through his brunette locks as his breaths became heavier.

“You know you can always come to me,” I said quietly, leaning my head against the backboard. “I’ll listen, always.”

“You can come to me too. Tell me anything and everything,” he mumbled through his tired state.

“Love ya Buck. Sleep well.” I hummed quietly, closing my eyes.

“Love you too Kenz.” he murmured quietly before the room was filled with soft snores from both the soldier and me.

Things might not go back to how they were but they will get better.

-----------------

THanks for reading. IF you ever need someone to talk to if you ever have thoughts like these dont be afraid to send me a message! Im alwasy willing to talk through lifes troubles with soemone if it helps them! Also know that there are hotlines that you can call! 

[fucnhg-slee-p]

Hard times

Robert Pattinson x liza

prompt: something stupid leads to something epic

___


This was it, the stupidest idea you’ve ever had.

“We can call it... uh, No cum december”

“What? That’s the worst name ever!” Rob laughed.

You and robert were having game night and having the oh so normal conversation about how you’ve never actually participated in no nut november and for some god forsaken reason, wanted to try it out.

This conversation would have been quite weird with anyone else but you’re known robert your whole life, and when college came around ended up being roommates, the luck was unbelievable. He was your closest and practically only friend so of course you could talk about things like this without it being weird.

“Okay, well I’d like to see you come up with something better then!” You retorted, laughing.

“Uh...well I don’t know, no cum December is fine i guess” he said chuckling, obviously not being able to come up with a better name

“Ha! Uno!” You said putting your last card down.

“What! That’s not fair, you definitely cheated” rob said jokingly

“Yeah yeah whatever you say.” You laughed while putting the cards away and pull out another game.

—-

By now the games were put away and the two of you were watching tv, cuddling.

“Hey! It’s almost 12. In 20 minutes you wont be able to cum for 31 days” you stated, pointing at the time on your phone. Robert looked away from the tv in order to look at you. “In that case ill be right back..” he quickly got up and you both laughed. “I guess I should take advantage of it too”

Both of you were very open with each other so mentioning that you were going to masturbate wasnt really that weird. the only issue was that right now all you could think about was him.. for most of your life you’ve been in love with him, you’ve been in other relationships but it never felt as good as being around robert so of course none of them lasted. It felt wrong to think of him while you were doing this but you couldn’t help it, especially when you knew what he was doing in the next room.

——

11:59

by now you were both back in the living room as if nothing had happened, talking about how dumb this episode of fresh prince was.

12:00

“It’s twelve now, if either of us fail we have to tell each other” robert said, reaching for the popcorn on the coffee table and eating some. “Yeah we have to be honest about it, no cheating” you replied, taking the bowl from him, leaving robert with just a handful. “Hey!” He exclaimed, mockingly upset that you took his popcorn, he threw his handful at you, laughing.

You retaliated by dumping the bowl on his head, “alright, thats it” robert said moving from his spot on the couch to get closer to you, he put his hands on your waist and started tickling you until you had tears in your eyes from laughing too much and begging him to stop. He was laying above you laughing from how cute you looked.

———

It’s been 6 days and you feel like you’re going crazy, everything he does is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. You feel like hes doing it on purpose, what an asshole.

After a long day (or week) of studying going from class to class, you just needed to relax but you were constantly on edge and robert was making it much worse. Right now he was just standing by the fridge drinking water but it was somehow the most sexual thing you’d ever seen

“Robert?” You sounded kinda pissed off but you really didn’t mean to

“Yeah?” He took a deep breath after completely finishing the bottle, with some water dripping down to his shirt, what the fuck

“What the fuck are you doing?” You were done with his bullshit, yeah it had only been a week but it was torture especially with the way he was acting

“I’m.. drinking water..” he answered with a confused expression, throwing the empty bottle away and walking towards your spot on the couch

“Ok well stop being annoying” you looked back at your notebook to continue with your studies. “Hey! I didn’t even do anything,” he laughed “i think someone needs to get laid, you’re getting a little frustrated huh?” He teased, only making it worse.

“No im completely fine” you lied “I’m just frustrated with all this shit” you said gesturing to your pile of books. you put your head in your hands “god this is just so hard” you were talking about both situations but if you were being honest the main reason for how stressed you felt was because of this stupid challenge it wasnt even for money or some prize, its literally for no reason.

“I’m sorry Liz, i can help out if you want”

“What?” You quickly looked up at him with a slightly shocked expression that you’re sure he didn’t notice “if you need help with your classes and stuff I’m here for you”

“Oh.” you sighed in both relief and disappointment “no its okay”

“Well if you need me I’m here” he put his hand on your shoulder and it sent a spark through your whole body. “How are you doing with this challenge anyway?” You changed the subject back to the only thing you could think about

“I’m okay, it was really hard for the first few days but now its kinda fun, especially when you think about how it’ll feel at the end of the month, you know? Waiting so long and then finally-“ “ok shut up!” You cut him off, this was all too much. He laughed “uh, do you wanna play Mario kart?” He asked softly, rubbing your back “yeah sure, i think i need a break from this anyway” you smiled at him, making sure not to stare too long.

——

After about 2 hours of playing and him winning almost every time, you ordered pizza and played uno while you waited. The whole time you were stuck on the way his hands moved and how his arms looked so good in the shirt he was wearing, he knew you were half zoned out but he figured you were just stuck thinking about school again.

The knock at the door pulled you from your haze “ill get it, you put the cards away” you said getting up to open the door.

You both ate in a comfortable silence for a while, little did you know he was suffering just as much or worse than you were. At this point you were both shamelessly staring at each other without the other even realizing.

Eventually you realized he was looking you up and down as if you were the only girl in the world and hes been waiting his whole life to have you, you slowly looked away as not to startle him or let him realize you were staring too, or even caught into the fact that he was looking at you with such hunger, which by the way was extremely painful to see from how hot it was.

the tv was quietly playing avatar “if you had a flying bison what would you name it?” You broke the silence

“Hm? Uh.. I don’t know, maybe Bryan”

“That’s an ugly name” you laughed

“Okay well what would you name a flying bison?”

“I would name it robert” you said, forgetting that you were talking to robert

he smiled “aw you’d name him after me?”

your eyes widened subtly “no.. i would just name him robert”

“Yeah ok” he joked, his hand brushed your outer thigh, for a little too long

You inhaled sharply at the sensation. It was only a short moment but it felt like forever and as wild as your thoughts were running it was much much worse now.

You don’t think he even realized how intense that was for you, it must’ve been all in your head, you need to calm down.

———

Now it’d been 10 days, you’re surprised you lasted more than 24 hours, really. But god these last few days have been hell, you’re sure roberts teasing you on purpose, trying to see how long you’ll last when he ‘bumps’ into you or takes his shirt off because ‘it’s too hot’ even though it was freezing. If one more thing happened you were done. You were at the library, trying to catch a break from the stress, listening to music and reading a short novel that caught your attention, sitting in the library always made you feel good. After a few hours of being there you decided it was time to head back to your dorm, on the way there you got a hot tea from the local bakery.

Walking into your dorm you were greeted by robert, sitting on the couch watching some documentary about something stupid. “Hey, i got you a muffin” you said putting your stuff down and taking your coat off. “God its so cold out there”. You handed him the muffen and sat next to him, silently watching the documentary and drinking your tea, figuring out it was about aliens. Without your knowledge he wasnt watching the tv, he was intently watching the way you drank the tea, the way your lips wrapped around the cup was addictive to him. And then it happened, he stretched and you glanced at him from the sudden movement, right then you knew it was over, you took a second look and you could’ve died, his stomach was peaking out from the hem of his shirt and his head was tossed back, showing off his collarbone, and his arms stretched above his head showing off his muscles. You were done. You were completely lost in a trance, staring at him for far too long

“What?” He asked sounding worried.

“I cant do this anymore” you let out a breath you didn’t know you we’re holding. Your eyes trailed down to his lips for a moment and he realized what you meant.

“You need me, don’t you?” You almost whined when he said that, he knew exactly how badly you wanted him, there was no denying it.

You both leaned in slowly, testing the waters before your lips finally crashed together, your whole body felt electric, you were on fire.

Pulling away for a moment, you felt dizzy. Resting your forehead on his to let your lungs catch a break. All you could do was smile “you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that” you said leaning in to kiss him again. It felt just as intense as the first time, he pulled you into his lap without breaking the kiss, your hands gripping into his hair while his hands roamed over your whole body.

He pulled on your bottom lip with his teeth and deepened the kiss, if that was even possible. He rubbed his hands up and down your thighs taking his time to get where you wanted him. “Please” you groaned, desperate for more

Obliging, he started to rub his fingers over your underwear delicately, gradually building pressure “mmh fuck” you moaned into his neck. “I’m already so close”

Suddenly he stopped and pulled away to look into your eyes. “Wake up”

“What?” You asked, voice laced with confusion

“I said, wake up” he said more aggressively this time, reaching to pinch you.

Your eyes opened and you were in bed, out of breath and covered in sweat. “What the fuck” you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and got dressed quickly.

Walking into your shared living area you grabbed a snack and headed out to class — you were running late so you kind of rushed out. On your way there you texted robert, making movie night plans for when you both got back to your dorm.

Every time you closed your eyes you could see everything from your dream so clearly. You were barely hanging on at this point

—

Walking back home was dreadful for a number of reasons, one, it was freezing, two, youd have to see robert and be the way you always are with each other and not accidentally let your feelings slip out

Your phone buzzed

You got a text from robert

“I got Wendy’s, get home asap! I’m gonna eat your food >:)”

Smiling to yourself you sent a quick response warning him not to and started walking faster. Forgetting how hard it was to keep your feelings down, you were just excited to hang out with your best friend for the night, even though you spent most nights together, you were never tired of each other

—

You opened the front door and walked inside “Robert! You better not have ate my food” you yelled through the small apartment

Robert walked out of his room half naked, his only covering being the towel wrapped around his waist. clearly he’d just gotten out of the shower. “Dont worry i waited” he laughed. There’s no way this wasnt on purpose.

“Go put clothes on so we can eat and watch our movie!”

“Why am i distracting you” he smirked, his tone changing drastically. Still standing by the front door He walked up to you caging you between the wall and his body “is it hard for you to focus when I’m practically naked?”

It felt as though all of the air left your body, you closed your eyes for a minute to try to keep your cool— “liza?”

You opened your eyes again and robert was standing in front of you, at a normal distance — fully clothed

“You okay?”

“Yeah sorry, just stressed. Everything’s fine”

These daydreams are fucking brutal

You both ate in a peaceful silence and watched Scott pilgrim. After it was over you were having a regular conversation on the couch

“I think I’m gonna head to bed, its getting late” you said, about to get up.

“Wait” rob stopped you, “i have to tell you something”

He said nothing, just stared at you while trying to figure out the best way to get the words out. “You failed didnt you?” You teased, knowing whatever he had to say was more serious than the stupid bet “no no, thats not it” he chuckled, getting lost in your eyes

He moved a strand of hair out of your face and kept his hand on your cheek. Both of you just staring, too scared to make the first move. “Rob?” He hummed in response, eyes flickering to you lips “what did you want to tell me?”

He leaned in and softly kissed you. Before he could pull away you held onto his face.

“I have a crush on you” he whispered into the kiss, deepening it.

You moaned in response, climbing into his lap “is this real?” You said with desperation. “I hope so” he said putting his lips back into yours, pulling himself off the couch and walking into his room with you in his arms, not breaking the kiss

he gently laid you on his bed and held himself above you, moving his lips down your neck and sucking on a sensitive spot. He tugged at the bottom of your shirt, you sat up to help him get it off and he continued kissing down your body, stopping here and there until he made it to the waistline of your pants, he looked up at you while slowly pulling them down “please” as much as you loved how gentle he was being it was torture to go this slow “patience baby girl” he said kissing over your panties softly, moving them to the side he swiped his fingers through your folds then bringing them to his mouth, licking them clean “so wet already, how long have you wanted this to happen huh?” He said putting his fingers on you again. “Too long” you moaned.

Stopping his movements he pulled his ring off and put it on your finger, then continued his work, sliding his fingers inside of you now, slowly pumping them. “faster please” you cried out, grabbing into his hair. He thankfully started going faster, and faster and holy shit “fuck I’m so close don’t stop” your words were slurring together and you could hardly concentrate on anything going on beside the way his fingers felt “pleasepleaseplease” at this point the only thing coming out of your mouth was a string of cursing and pleas to keep going, and finally after two weeks of barely hanging on you felt so good it almost hurt, but he didnt stop there. He kept going, keeping up with his fast pace and now licking and sucking on your clit, you felt so sensitive it hardly took much to fall over the edge again and he still didnt stop until your third time and you couldn’t feel your legs.

“Holy shit” you said out of breath as he moved up your body to kiss you softly “did i hurt you?” You shook your head in response, moving your hand down his body, “no, you don’t have to”

“I want to”

He stayed hovering over you as you stroked him at an agonizingly slow pace. After a while you pushed him down to lay beside you and you continued to take your time. It felt so intimate. “I love you” you whispered onto his lips as you kissed him. “I love you too” he said with so much admiration in his eyes. You moved your lips down his body and kissed his tip gently “I’m close” he pushed his head into the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut “please. Faster”

You obliged, moving you hand faster and taking him in your mouth, matching the pace of your hand. “Liza” he moaned quietly. You hummed around him in response. “I love you so much”. With a few more strokes he finished and you pulled off oh him, “i love you too” you said laying down on his chest “i cant feel my legs”

“Good” he said, wrapping is arms around you.

[theravencawsatmidnight]

On The Prowl... Pt Six

A fantasy AU

Warnings: Violence. Blood. Mentions of breeding.

All parts can be found under the OnTheProwl tag !

Shinso was staring at the dead deer in front of him, he seemed to be lost in thought. He kept thinking about you . Why? You were just a vessel for his kittens. Thats all. Why did you matter so much? When he was breeding you , it felt different. You didint fight him , in fact you talked with him just minutes before . Was it because you smelled different? His tail swayed in irritation. Aizawa, he took you from him in the worst way . Bred you in front of him . Theres no way you would have his kittens now...

Bakugo spotted Shinso sitting by himself , he growled making Shoto and Chizome look up from their deer. They watched the lion stalk over shoving Shinso causing him to stumble to his feet. He growled low back at Bakugo . The lion scoffed standing up straight sticking his chin out .

“Hah?!? Whats youre problem ?!” He asked walking around Shinso circling him “Are you upset you lost youre little kitten maker?”

“Bakugo. Stop” Shoto said walking over

“Shut up Leopard!” Bakugi roared back

“He did say his was returning soon. It was reckless on Shinso’s part” Chizome added pawing his snout.

Shinso growled pouncing on the black wolf growling in his face. Chizome snarled kicking him off and Shinso rolled hitting a rock.

“Look at you. Youre just a gentle purple panther. A scardy cat!” Taunted the lion

“What am i suppose to do..” Shinso asked not getting up.

“Fight for Alpha!” Bakugo pulled Shinso up

“I agree. Aizawa always gets first dibs when hes around and the incubators never carry full term so its like a waste. “ Shoto calmly added.

Chizome stepped over joining the group. “Having Aizawa in charge does not benefit us”

“If hes right about leaving this place then we should. We are wasting our time here.” Shoto added

“Why does it matter to you guys? You wont listen to me if im Alpha.”

“Stupid!!! You think we want that jaguar in charge?!? You heard Shoto. When hes here we dont get any incubators. And you want the stupid incubator back right?” Bakugo held his hands out , explosions bouncing off them. “Lets go get er !!!”

Shinso blinked at the lion for a second, he looked at Shoto , he had ice coming off him. Chizome had his tongue out . Shinso looked down at his paws while he spoke.

“What if she has his kittens though. I cant love them. I will have to kill them. I dont know what that will do to her”

“We wont know till the day comes. Thats why we need to get rid of Aizawa” Shoto said putting his paw on Shinso’s shoulder

“You think he will see it coming?”asked the Wolf sniffing the air.

“Ill stay behind.” Bakugo said sitting down ripping a deer leg off its body to eat. “Just tell flea bag to howl and ill rush in”

Shoto nodded looking over at the jungle then back at Shinso and Chizome. Chizome wagged his tail and Shinso looked at his paws again before following the two.

Aizawa was petting youre head in slow strokes , he had pulled himself out of you with a pop sound and laid you ontop of him. You couldint move, at all. You could not feel youre legs and youre stomach was slightly bloated with all of the seed inside you. You couldint cry anymore, no tears came out . The breeze creeping between youre thighs burned to no end. You could only feel the intense throbbing of youre swollen tired heat. Aizawa stroked hos paw down to youre back tracing over youre mark Shinso left you , you flinched and Aizawa ran his paw back up to youre hair repeating the process.

“You seem quiet incubator.” He gripped youre chin looking at youre empty bloody dirty face. You were lifeless. “Something on youre mind?”

You could hear him but you did not want to answer. You were too busy thinking about the next 9 months. What they would include .. and how they would play out. Aizawa pet youre head mocking you . “How does it feel? To know that this is youre life now. To know i own you. To know youre precious panther is not coming back for you.”

You wanted to cry.

Aizawa picked you up setting you next to him against a rock. The sudden shift in movement made you whine in agony . You did not want to move anymore, it hurt to much. You looked down at youre body . You had cuts on youre chest and stomach. You reached up to touch the bruises that covered youre arms and chest . The cuts stung and you could smell dried blood all over you. Gently you laid youre head against the rock and slowly rubbed youre stomach staring off at nothing.

“Think ill go find dinner for myself, dont go away now” he teased petting youre head before leaving you all alone at the den.

You prayed something would come by and kill you. Anything. Just end it.

You heard footsteps creeping towards you and you shut youre eyes. Hopfully whatever is coming will kill you , or eat you at least. You were picked up and placed over a fuzzy shoulder , you instantly felt a warmth against youre stomach and heat. The relief you were feeling was impossible to describe. You could feel youre heat start to relax and calm down . A cold paw was placed over youre heat causing you to jerk for a second. A small whimper of relief fell out of youre mouth .

“Shes a mess. Look at this.” He moved his cold paw to show Shinso and Chizome.

“Is she ruined?” Asked the wolf sniffing youre thighs.

“No, just needs a long rest and a bath...and no breeding for maybe a month.”

Was .. was that Shinso?!? He came back?!? You tried to look over youre should but every bit of movement ached.

“Take her to our other den Aizawa does not know about. Ill meet up with you”

It was him!!! He was coming to save you.

Shoto nodded and left with Chizome. You could see him once Shoto turned. He saw you reach out to him , Shinso nodded looking at the ground.

Aizawa returned awhile after chewing on a bone to see Shinso sitting on a rock and no incubator. He strolled over to Shinso sitting down next to him scanning around the empty den.

“So, where is she?”

“Far away from you.”

He purred leaning on Shinso’s shoulder whispering in his ear. “We both know you cant take me on alone Shinso.”

“I know that Aizawa.”

“And youre too scared to use youre quirk on me anyway. “ he wrapped his arm around the panthers shoulders pulling him close. “Oh Shinso, before i kill you. I want to tell you about how nice it was to once again, take youre kittens away from you”

“Yes, Aizawa.”

A low howl traveled to both their ears.

“Ah sounds like they made it , but ill get to that. Remember when i brought you with me once ? We left the jungle?”

“Yes..Aizawa.”

“That one you found was quite a looker, so beautiful, so innocent. You were sure she was the one for you. Do you remember what happened?”

Shinso looked over to the jungle watching the leaves shift in the wind , his ear twitched when he heard a growl . It sounded close.

“One morning, i was coming back with food for me and her . And i heard her moaning, and i found her under you begging you, to breed her.”

Aizawa laughed pulling Shinso closer . “Thats right huh?!? No matter what you do. They always come to me”

“Let go of me .” Shinso shook him off scooting away a tiny bit.

Aizawa stood up roaring and stretching. “Tell me where she is.”

“No.”

“Have it youre way.” Aizawa grabbed Shinso’s neck yanking him up to him.

Shinso stared blankly at Aizawa, he did not fight back. He seemed to be waiting for something. Aizawa stepped back slightly , scanning around the open area. Bakugo was close by on all fours creeping over. Aizawa had his back to him and he could see Shinso’s face, he twitched his nose and Bakugo started running with a big grin on his face . Aizawa sighed and his tale started to rise.

“Did you really think a surprise attack would work?”

“It wouldint?”

“N-“ Aizawa dropped Shinso . And his tale fell to his shoulders

He only had a couple minutes before Aizawa broke free. Bakugo tackled Aizawa with a grunt .

“Can i kill him?!? Let me kill him!!”

“Break his legs.”

“ hah?!?”

“Bakugo. Break his-“ the tape wrapped around Shinso’s leg dragging him away

Aizawa roared rolling over grabbing Bakugo , his eyes red. Bakugo shoved his paw in his face and nothing came out . Aizawa kicked Bakugo off him scrambling up to tackle him . Shinso looked back at the tap rubbing his head, he grabbed it biting into it breaking it . He rushed over to Bakugo to see him fighing and bloody. He pinned Aizawa down panting hard. He had a long scratch over her right eye down to his chin that was bleeding and one of his big white fangs was missing.

Aizawa struggled under Bakugo’s weight abd did not see Shinso come over. He picked up a rock and dropped it on Aizawa’s leg causing hin to scream out in pain. Bakugo spit blood at him stumbling off him fighting to stand up. He glanced down seeing a long gash across his paw. He hopped over to a nearby rock to nurse his paw while Shinso finished off Aizawa.

“She wont want you! Not after taking my cock , she will beg for mine!!!”

Shinso dropped another rock on Aizawa’s other leg watching him scream out in pain. “You..— illfinf — you. Ill find you!!!”

Shinso ignored the jaguar going over to Bakugo.

“Can you walk?”

“Yes i can walk!!!!” He pushed himself off the rock putting weight on his foot falling over.

“Fuck!!!” Roared the very angry lion

Shinso held his paw out and Bakugo swatted his paw away staring at the ground heaving hard. He glanced over to see Shinso had extended his paw again. He clicked his teeth grabbing the purple paw . Shinso yanked him up laying the lions paw over his shoulder . He walked away from the den leaving Aizawa to scream in pain.

“Thank you Bakugo.”

“Whatever!!! ... thank you for not leaving me to die.”

“Not a problem. Youre mane tickles.”

“Heh.. shut up. Stupid cat.”

[mama-disco]

a letter to whom that may concern.

im writing this on tumblr because i know no one will see this but i just need a place to get this out

       you knew me as the crybaby in grade 5 because i was hitting puberty that year. i was emotionaly vulnerable and at a weak point in my live very early on and i didnt know how to hide my emotions like the rest of you. i became very self aware about my life, how i looked and dressed very early on and no one cared to understand so i went pretty much all that year without friends. i cried at the silliest things, i remember one time our teacher was handing out papers for work and i didnt get one and instead of just raising my hand to ask i just broke down and cried. i spent the rest of elementary school being made fun of and misjudged because of my emotions. a lot of stuff happened that year, i hit puberty, i had just changed schools and lost a lot of my old friends and found it extremely difficult to make new ones, and at the end of the year the teacher who understood my situation passed away. years went on and i found a group i clicked with but the mistreatment never went away from the others, i was called names and told i wouldnt amount to anything by others, and for a long time i thought it was because i was the only girl in the class with ADHD. as the time progressed my mental illness festered at the hands of others, in high school i had rumors spread about me by my old classmates to new ones and so i didnt make many friends while in high school either so i spent the rest of high school depressed and alone, i never went above and beyond in anything including the subjects i actually enjoyed so i was always an average 75 student in everything. i was forced to take essential level classes because my adhd made my teachers assume i was stupid and needed to be babied so whenever anyone did ask what classes i was taking i would feel embarrassed. i eventually had to stay and take a 5th year in high school because my depression got so bad that i just stopped showing up to my classes, i skipped out on most of my classes that year too but i graduated i felt so stupid and alone for a good 8 years in school and now im watching that group i clicked with grow up and go to school and do things they enjoy without me because of my life situation.

my mom is immune compromised from smoking for 40 years and so now instead of going to school, we are living below the poverty line, and can barely afford to live with only $1400 a month. i can’t work during this pandemic because if i get sick she will die and i will be homeless so i inevitably starve myself almost every day to make sure we save money and not waste any on groceries.

I wrote this because i want my past enemies to know of the hardships in my life that i faced then and still face to this day in hopes of you understanding why i hurt so much and you may either give sympathy or just feel bad for what you did in the past and how you judged me, personally i dont care anymore because no one will see this anyways and it’s all in the past now but i want you all to know how hard my life can be 90% of the time, so when you bullied what you thought was a weird, unintelligent girl who couldnt control her emotions was actually a 10 yr old who had to grow up to soon and be denied a future because of her current and most likely permanent life situation. 

often times i feel very alone because i think about how all my irl friends have familes, families that have both parents who arent split, a house, not a low income apartment and 3 meals a day with lots of food to spare. im jealous of all that and i know none of them will understand, i ask for no sympathy because it just makes me feel even more pathetic than how much i already am. living this live is extremely difficult and every time i hear one of my friends mention how much their life “sucks” i just want to go off on them because maybe theyre depressed about school and all that, and its still valid but it is nothing compared to the pain i feel every waking day and realizing i live like a pig. 

last year around christmas my mom was sent to the hospital for 2 weeks because she had a cO2 level of 104 and blood oxygen level of 75. when she came back thats when i really hit rock bottom. i’ve become even more depressed because i now have all the responsibilities of a 40yr old woman on my shoulders as well as being a life auxillary for my mother from now on. i can’t move out until my mother either dies or gets put into a home and whenever that happens i will have no money to get a place of my own because all th money i make now goes into taking care of her, groceries, bills, all that lovely stuff, so while i watch my friends go off to school and succeed in life i fall back into the pit that i’ve always been stuck in knowing i was born into this world just so i could wallow in a pit all my life. i’ve already done it for 20 years so why would it change? 

every day i hurt more and more, theres new weight put on my shoulders and i have no way of getting it off because i have no where to go. my friends arent really my friends anymore because i know they all drifed from me, and it hurts watching them stay friends but leave me behind and i often think i deserve it because i know im just better off alone, i dont want to involve anyone in my sob story because all they’ll say is “oh im so sorry to hear that” but go back to paying no mind, what is happening in my life is not of concern to anyone, not even my mother. 

sometimes i think i belong in a psych ward because i get these horrible thoughts in my head telling me to cut my losses and slit my throat. it’s gotten to the point where when i break down i separate from my body completely, i dont see or hear anything but when i come back i have burns on my hand from scratching myself trying to feel something. i know im sick in the head but you know what the sickest part of all is? not being able to get help because you have responsibilities and cant afford it.

i might have more to say another time but for now this is all.

[concentrateandpush]

Abandoned building

"I know some of you may think it's crazy going to an abandoned building to film a YouTube video whilst 37 weeks pregnant.. but I cant let my 2.3 mil subscribers down! Plus it should be super safe! I mean, theres an open door right where we park, so not long to walk and straight in! No climbing!" Said Kat to her viewers whilst sat in the back of Poppy's car. There were 6 people in total, Kat and Joe, the mommy and daddy to be, Poppy, Kats best friend. Then Corey, Daniel and Dave, the guys who Kat wanted to collab with, they knew each other from elementary but hadn't been close for a long time, Joe and Poppy didnt know them at all.

She had noticed that morning that she wasnt feeling great and it seems that the morning sickness had come back, but she agreed to do this video so she persisted and hey! She had her boyfriend with her after all. Kat and Joe had been together a long time and it was about time they should have a baby, Joe was thrilled, Kat was too but she still felt she could take on the world whilst carrying a human.

They agreed that Poppy would drive seeing as Kat was 37 weeks pregnant and felt uncomfortable driving now. They arrived at the abandoned building as it was going dark, Joe wasnt at all phased by spirits but the rest were hyped and ready to go.

'Hey man, I'm Daniel"

"Joe, nice to meet you"

Joe could instantly tell Daniel was a jerk. At this point in time, whilst everyone was setting up cameras, Poppy chatted to Kat whilst having a smoke.

Kat made sure that nobody was around and quickly said to Poppy "Pops, dont tell Joe, I've been having twinges all morning, I'm super nauseous and I think theres a pattern in the pain, I dont want to tell him because he already cant believe I've come here 9 months pregnant"

Poppy exclaimed "Yeah I'm not surprised, look, videos can wait, let's go back to your apartment and order uber eats, I dont think its wise to stay here" and quickly, Kat snapped "I wont be able to come back here for a long time and I need to film this video, were like 3 hours from home now anyway so let's just film".

It's been a few hours and they had filmed the majority of the scheduled videos. Kat is exhausted at this point and hasn't suffered in pain too much, but she has noticed her belly getting heavier and harder through out filming. They get ready to call it a night and hear a noise from outside, young people, they sound rough and ready to fight.

Daniel whispers "Boys we have to run out, Joe, you up for running out? Girls?"

"I cant run" Kat exclaims, but Joe cuts across her quickly "You expect my 9 month pregnant girlfriend to run out of here, she could trip on anything for starters and -"

Kat starts to feel a lot of pressure and breathes it through but it doesnt go unnoticed, Poppy feels that she has to disclose information "Joe she has felt twinges all day and didnt want to tell you because -"

"Who's in here then? Who's up for a fight?!" Sounds from the outside.

"Okay, everyone shut the fuck up, Daniel phone the police, Joe, an ambulance, nobody argue with me, I need to get out of here" whispers Kat "I've kept this tiny person safe for 9 months, I am not messing it up now, I will not put myself and my child at risk of those kids outside, were in a bad area and they might have weapons so we -"

Joe interrupts "Love, we didnt bring phones, it interferes with the tech"

Kat looks at Joe tearfully and says "Okay well it'll have to happen in here then, I'm in so much pain, I need something to sit on, a jumper or?.."

At this point, Poppy has had enough "Right you three get out there, you do not tell them were in here, it was your idea not to bring phones in and now look where you got us"

Daniel slams back "Mate, your friend wanted to be here even though she cant even walk shes so pregnant, Joe you should never have left her come, you're both going to be parents and cant even- "

"Ahhh, hee hoo hee hoo, please shut up I need to focus, please just shut up" said Kat, "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, okay can I check you? I just need to check how far along you are" said Joe whilst signaling to Poppy that she should come over and help. Joe pulls Kats maternity jeans off and then her panties, the three other boys are stood watching, "never seen a vagina before you pervs?" Shouted Poppy. Kat moans as Joe puts his fingers in, "You're nearly there Kat, you're going to have to push her out in here" he says panicking "I cant" says Kat, "it's dirty and ngghh"

Corey whispers to Daniel "Nah mate, we have to tell her" Joe hears and shouts "Tell her what?!" Daniel laughs and mutters "it's a prank pal, theres nobody outside, it's just the rest of the boys, you need to get her out of here". Joe springs up off the floor and runs towards Daniel "You f*cking what? I'm going to break that pretty face of-"

"I need to push, please, help me" Kat cries, Joe is torn, after a second thought he falls to his knee and pulls Kats legs open and says, "Okay whenever you feel it's right, push as hard as you can" Kat takes a huge breath and presses her chin down on her chest to push and Poppy says "Stop, let's get her to my car, I have blankets and stuff, we can help her birth there, its safer". Huffing and puffing through out, Kat screaches "I cant walk, I can feel the head I need to push her out now, I have to push, I cant hold it anymore".

"Come on, let's get up, get to the car and get this baby out safely" Joe orders, Kat always listens to Joe because he always does what's best. Kat finds the strength to get on her toes, with Joe's hand and Poppy supporting her lower back, once on her feet she stops and takes a moment "hee hoo hee, AHH I cant, I need to push, urrrrggggg", Joe gets on his knees and kisses her bump, "we can get to the car".

Poppy runs ahead, "you can do this Kat you're the strongest person I know" she exits quickly to puff and prod some blankets so that Kat can bare down on them. Whilst Kat waddles out with Joe's support under her elbows "Not long now Mommy, she'll be here".

Kat gets in the car and quickly tries to find a position to push in, but becomes frustrated because she cant find the power to push "I need to squat" she begins pushing harder and harder until she feels powerless.

Kat becomes tired in this position quickly, "I need to get on my back, theres not enough room, Joe can you get in the, hee hoo hee hoo, ahhh, get in the front and I'll put one leg either side of the front seats, that way my legs will be spread as far as they can be, and ill be open for baby to come out". Joe quickly gets up "let me help you into position" but Poppy realises she needs to help her best friend "Joe you get in the front I will help Kat get comfortable".

Kat huffs and puffs through the moving, she is so ready for the baby to be out by now, then it hits her. "I need to push harder, I need her out now, can you guide her Joe, Pops, hold this leg back as far as you can, nghggg ahhh, hoo hooo". At this point the other boys have all left and its pitch black, the only lights are the car lights and phone torches.

Kat is sweating so much that her face is shining. She starts to panic because she feels exhausted and like she's been pushing too long "get me to a hospital Pop, this isnt right". Poppy answers with a smile "You're fine, you're doing great, you're so so strong. We can see the head now, shes beautiful, she has your colour hair, just keep doing what you're doing mama". Kat soon starts to feel the ring of fire and starts to close her legs "it burns, I cant take it I'm going to rip, I'm going to open, is there blood? I cant, ahhh hoo hoo hoo nghhhh".

Kats progress is phenomenal and Joe is crying because of his girlfriends strength, "you're doing so good, I'm so proud of you, not much left now, just get the head out completely and then it's nearly over and we have a daughter".

I need to move positions" Kat snaps, "Shes coming" Kat suddenly staggers onto hands and knees, this is when she gets really strong, she starts to push with all of her might. "Its stuck, I cant move it, put your fingers in and rub them around the head, she needs to come out I cant push anymore it hurts". "Ooohhh this is it, I'm going to rip, fu*k, AAAHH".

Joe encourages Kat all the can "Come on honey a few more pushes, you're going great, you're doing it come on, push! Harder! Come on Kat push like you've never pushed before, yes, yes, come on sweetheart, push harder.. HARDER".

Kat is barely catching a breath and is baring down to hard she feels like shes going to rip. "Try little pushes, like ngh ngh ngh ngh rather than nghhhhh" says Poppy "It might change things and speed up the progress". "I'm not strong enough I cant go any longer, please call an ambulance, I need help, they can cut me and ahhhhhh, f*ck I think shes coming down, nghhhh, hooo hooo hooo AAHHHH can you see her? JOE CAN YOU SEE THE SHOULDERS, AHHHHHHHHH" she takes a breath and pushes until shes red in the face "hnnnnnngggggg here she is, it's time! I'm ready. To. Pusshhhhhhh. Oh my god, fu.. AHHHHH" . "Shes here beautiful, you're a Mommy. You're amazing, you're so perfect, I love you so much" Joe cries.

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

PROMPT GAME #1

Totally unedited and I have to cut the storyline a little short, because well, its supposed to be a drabble. Ahahah ❤ and I decided to combine all promts you requested into one.

"Seriously Jeon? You have fucked everyone else and now you are finding girls in my home?" Y/N sighed and walked passed the shirtless male, grinnibg with his mouth full of cereal. Her cereal, in her house, using her bowl.

"Not my fault your roomate is hot," he winks, totally shameless about the fact that he and her so called roomate keep the whole house, specifically her, since shes the only other person in there anyway, awake all night, with their disgusting activities. Endless activities. "Cereal?"

Y/N rolled her eyes and grab the half eaten bowl and throw in the sink.

"No thanks, and thanks for offering, since that is my cereal in the first place. Now that you have disgraced this house, would you please get out so I can comfort my roomate when she realizes what an asshole you are and what a mistake she made?"

"Aww, come on Y/N why so grumpy? Someone not getting any?" Jungkook smirk, slipping on his shirt, thank god. He might be an asshole, but hes an asshole with a bod! And its hard to be snarky with his hard pecs staring back at her.

"Ive been getting plenty on my own, thanks," Y/N rolles her eyes again. "And I rather be dead than being with you in the same bed Jeon,"

"Oh come on Y/N, I know you wish I want you. Hey, maybe I do. Wanna gove it a try?" He winks, taunting her.

"Just get the fuck out Jeon," Y/N open the door and crossed her arms, waiting for Jungkook to walk himself out.

"Okay, okay, no need to be so hostile," he laughs and walks out. "See you babe. Just call me if you change your mind, I'll make time for you," he laughs before the door slammed at his back.

The rivalry between Y/N and Jungkook started so long ago that even Y/N cant remember how it even started or if its even relevant anymore. But what she knows is that she hates that fuckboy's guts. Walking around like he owbs the damn campus. Well, maybe it started whe Jungkook pull her braids at the playground when they were 5 or maybe it didnt. It doesnt matter anyway. What natters is that Y/N hates him.

Whole heartedly.

/////

"Ouch!" Y/N turns around as her hand hit a solid rock. A rock that makes a sound. Wait, what rock?

Theres an intruder in her bed!

Y/N freaks out and immediately sits up, a massive headache attacking her head like sharp needles before she takes in her surrounding.

This is not my room.

And I am definitely not alone.

Not just not alone... Y/N turns her head slowly and nervously to the side and screamed out when she sees Jungkook rubbing his head, evidence of being hit by her hand earlier, naked, only with a blanket covering his bottom half.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Geez woman, stop shouting. Its like too early for this," Jungkook rubs his eyes and yawns, totally unbothered by the fact that they are in bed together and naked.

"Get out! What are you doing in my bed?! What did you do to me?" Y/n starts hitting him.

"Yah! Stop it!" Jungkook catches her hands and hold it tight. "First of all, this is my bed. So the question you should ask is, what are you doing in my bed?" Jungkook smirked. "And second, you dont remember?"

"Remember what? What did you do to me?! I couldnt have done this on my own free will! Never!"

"Oh sweetheart, think it long and hard and maybe you will remember," he grins and lays back on the headboard, totally relax.

Y//N scrunched her nose, trying to remember, and slowly everything came back to her.

"I cant believe I missed the dateline for my Math project!" Y/N wailed to her friend. "Im so stressed oit. Urghhh!"

"Then I have good news my friend. Theres a party happening tonight, and I heard its gonna be big. Everyone is invited,"

"Then I'm in!"

"Wow, you are really stressed out. Nerdy Y/N saying yes to a party without hesitation? Amazing,"

/////

"Wow, never seen you at a party before," Jungkook grins towards Y/N as he sits on the kitchen counter of the packed house, a bottle of beer in his hand. "This is usually my forte,"

"Pissed off Jeon. Why are you everywhere," Y/N slurred, losing balance and almost fell if Jungkook didnt catch her.

"And definitely never seen you this drunk before," Jungkook helped to steady her. "Actually, I have never ever seen you drink, at all. Are you alone? Who did you come with?" Jungkook looked around, concerned etched on his face. "Lets just sober you up a little then I'll send you home okay?"

Jungkook held her shoulders and bring her upstairs, to his room. Its such luck that the party is being held at his frat house. His room is off limits to everyone, but this is an emergencu. Hes not going to leave Y/N downstairs to be taken advantage by all the guys at the party. He knows the guys. He is one of them. But he will never let anything happen to Y/N.

Not Y/N.

"Just lie down here. Ill take some water for you okay?" Jungkook places her on his bed, covering her with a blanket.

"Nooo, dont go," Y/N pulls him, making him fall on her and giggles. "Wow, you are so handsome," she traces his face with her fingers.

"You are definitely drunk Y/N," he laughs, he hinself a little tipsy.

"No, I am not. Hey Jeon... Why do I hate you again?" Y/N stares into his eyes, not letting her grip on him go.

"I-I dont know.." Jungkook whispered. He knows its wrong. Y/N is definitely drunk, and he himself is intoxicated. And they hate each other, dont they? Atleast thats what Y/N been telling him, but Jungkook hasnt been hating her for the longest time already. Its actually quite the opposite.

"Jungkook?"

"Y/N?"

And as Y/N pulls his face, connecting their lips together, the rest of the night is history.

/////

"Fucking. Hell..."

"So I take it you remember?" Jungkook grins.

"I was drunk! You took advantage of me!" Y/N screamed making Jungkook laughed. So dramatic.

"Me?! You are the one who make the first move! You took advantage of me! Besides, its not so bad. I made you feel good," he winks. "We both kinda win here,"

"Urghhh, shut up!" Y/N quickly stands up and collect her clothes which is strewn all over the room, hastily putting it on, all the while mumbling like crazy. "Not a word of this to anyone! Oh God, I cant believe this happened! I an serious Jeon, no word to anyone!"

Jungkook laugh and made a swear sign with his hand.

"I swear. I wont tell anyone. Although are you sure? I know you want to gloat on how good I made you feel," he laughs more.

"Shut the fuck up! Urghhhh," she threw a pillow to his head, missing him by an inch, making him laugh more as Y/N scurried away.

"Thanks for the night!"

"Fuck off!" Y/N screamed out and slammed the door, leaving Jungkook still laughing on the bed, mumbling to himself, smiling.

You are such a pain in my ass, it actually hurts to fucking love you Y/N. If only you knew how I feel.

/////

Eversince that fateful morning, it seems like Jungkook is everywhere. She cant seems to shake him away. Grinning, waving, annoying her...

Y/N never told anyone about that night of course. She doesnt want to be knows as another one of Jungkook's girls, or his latest victim. Jungkook is someone she despise and thats the extend of their relationship. And she would like to keep it that way.

But fate of course have another plan and her science teacher partnered her up with Jungkook, as part of the mentor - protege program hes trying. A good student oartnered up woth a less performing on, in hopes it could help each other. Worse, after weeks ignoring him and asking him to do his own thing, the class is assigned with a project, something Y/N could never run from. And that is how she is in the library, sitting beside a grinning Jungkook.

"We are finishing this project as fast as we can and thats it,"

"Oh come on Y/N. Cant we atleast be friends?" Jungkook grins, teasing her. "Afterall, you have seen me nak-"

"Shut up!" Y/N quickly covers his mouth. "What are you trying to do? Telling everyone we hooked up? It was a drunken mistake okay!"

Jungkook laughs and mumble to himself. So cute.

"What?"

"Nothing. I didnt say anything," he smiles and shrugs.

"Look Jungkook, I'm serious okay? This marks are important to me. Lets just do thia properly and be serious about it. I will divide the work load so we can do it on our own time and we can meet uo eve-"

Y/N was cut off when his lips landed on her and he grins.

"What the hell did you just do?!" Y/M hissed, looking around to see if anybody noticed. "Didnt I tell you just now? You cant just go around kissing people! I mean, I know you are a manwhore but thats not how the rest of the human world works! Stop being a-"

Another kiss.

"Jeon Jungkook!"

"I only kissed you because you were talking too much," he smile, bunny teeth showing, chin olaces in the palm of his hand that is laced together, looking at her.

"I-uh..."

"See, it works. You are finally speechless," Jungkook smile got wider. "Lets get to work shall we?"

/////

The project did bring Jungkook and Y/N closer together. They can be now considered somewhat... friends?

"So.. do you still hate me?" Jungkook asks as they are having coffee together after submitting their final project.

"Well.. hate is a strong word Jeon," Y/N smile. "And I think I am getting used to you. But I still dont like you," she giggled.

"Well, I'll take that," Jungkook smile. "Uh.. hey.. do you want to go to the dance with me?" His voice laced with nervousness.

Y/N was surprised by his question. Is Jungkook asking her out?

"I-I mean, as friends? To celebrate our new friendship?"

"Whatt? Does the great Jeon Jungkook has no date for the dance?" She laughs.

"Hey, I spend all my time doing this project with you. I got your nerd aura all over me okay," Jungkook smile. "So will you?"

"Yeah," Y/N smiles. "Yeah, why not,"

/////

"Hey Minji, I have to meet up with my professor, kts a last minute thing. If Jungkook came can you tell him to wait? Please?" Y/N shouted to her roomate as she rushed to the door.

"Jungkook? Wait, you are going to the dance with Jungkook?" Minji raised an eyebrow.

"Y-yeah. He asked me. Wait, you are okay with that right? You said hes only a one night stand right?" Y/N stopped in her tracks.

"Of course. It was a mutual understanding. Im only surprised because I didnt know you two still hang out. And he never brings a date to a dance. And dont you hate him or something?" Minji questioned, hands crossed on her chest.

"Well, lets just say hes changed," Y/N smiles. "My phone is out of battery but I'll be back in a jiffy. Let Jungkook know ok? Thanks, love you!" Y/N waves off and went out.

Lets just see if Jungkook truly changed Y/N-ah. A fuckboy will forever be a fuckboy. And if you think a nerd like you can chabge him instead of someone like me, you are dead wrong. Minji smirks.

/////

"Oh hi Kookie, what are you doing here?" Minji gave him a sultry smile as she opened the door to see Jungkook looking dashing in a tuxedo, flowers in hand. He even get Y/N her favorite. How tentative. Minji rolled her eyes.

"Im here to pick up Y/N. For the dance?" Jungkook smile.

"Oh no," Minji puts a hand on her chest, brows furrowing in sadness. "I am sorry to hear that, but Y/N left,"

"Left? But I'm her date?"

"Kookie, I am so sorry. I dont know how to say this. But she was so happy she managed to tricked you. She said its some kind of revenge and that you are stupid to believe she would actually be friends let alone go to the dance with you?"

"W-what? N-no. Y/N couldnt... could she?" Jungkook's face pained as the clutch on the flowers loosen and drop to the floor.

"I am so sorry..." Minji carressed his face. "But hey.." he pulls him to the sofa and scoot closer. "I can make you feel better and forget about her,"

/////

Y/N almost ran home. Shes ao excited and she needs to get ready, to look good for Jungkook. She dont know why she have to, but she just wanted to. And shes late.

She happily pushed open her door, a wide smile on her face, which immediately dissapear once she is greeted with the image of Jungkook being balls deep inside her roommate, on the couch... in the middle of the fucking living room. He cant even find the decency to take ger to the room atleast? Knowing she lives here too?

"W-what?"

"Y/N?" Jungkook was shocked and immediately pull out, scouring for his boxers and slipped it on.

"What the hell?! You cant even wait for a few minutes without fucking anyone?!"

"You bailed! I thought you left. And what do you care? Arent I just some kind of revenge?" Jungkook smirked.

"What are you talking about?! Bail?!I was meeting my professor! I told Minji this. To tell you! And what revenge?!"

"Wait, what?" Realization suddenly hits him as he turns to face Minji who is smirking. "You lied? You bitch!"

"Hey, dont be mad at me. If you can just keep it in your pants this wont happen," she shrugs. "Y/N, I am just trying to show you that fuckboys will never change. Just one lie and hes already fucking someone else! How can you be wih him?"

"Shut the fuck up you lying manipularive bitch!" Jungkook yelled at her, trying to control his temper. But he knows Minji is not important right now. Y/N is. "Y/N listen to me, I can explain. Minji.. she said-"

"It doesnt matter Jungkook. Minji is right. Just one lie from her is all it needed for you to start sleeping with someone else?"

"Y/N, no. Its not like that. I was hurt. I was-"

"Save it Jeon," Jungkook stopped at the nickname. It felt so cold. He took a step forward, lurching for her arm but Y/N pull back immediately.

"Stop. Fucking. Touch. Me!" Y/N yelled. "Minji is right. Fuckboy never changed, get out Jeon,"

"Y/N-"

"Why should I care anyway right, we are just friends," Y/N angrily wipe her tears. "Maybe not even friends," she stormed off into the room, slamming the door, leaving Jungkook to pick up the pieces of broken heart.

/////

"Go away!"

"I am going to annoy you, follow you around until you talk to me. Until you forgive me. I dont care what it takes, or who knows how desperate I am!" Jungkook followed her around like a pupoy around campus for a whole three months now. Never once did he gives up. Y/N has finally had enough. The whole campus heard about how Jeon Jungkook, the campus player is now whipped and chasing some nerd. Y/N cant already tolerate the endless flowers, chocolates, gifts, texts and phonecalls that he sent everyday, but following her around, all day and all night? For three whole month? Its too much.

"Why wont you give up?! We were not even friends to begin with!"

"I am never giving you up. Ever!"

"Seriously. Why?! The fuck, why?!" Y/N has reached her limit, screaming in the middle of campus to the campus player, not caring to maintain her cool anymore.

"Fine, you wanna know so bad? Its because I fucking love you L/N Y/N! I have love you for so many years eventhough you hated me! And now that I have the chance to be in your life I am not gonna let some manipulating bitch ruined it for me! I want you and I am not gonna stop until I get you!" Jungkook's chest heaved from his confession. "Got your answer now?"

"N-no," Y/N shakes her head, eyes searching his. "It cant be. We hated each other!"

"I dont. I never did. I dont even know why you hate me? Ia it because I pulled your braids when we were 5?" Jungkook smiles. "That just means I like you Y/N. And I have never stopped since,"

"B-but all the girls you have been with? You are the campus player!"

"Its only to get you attention," he bunny grins. "I gor your attention when I slept with your roommate and I have stopped ever since Y/N. Please, believe me. I love you,"

"B-but-"

"Please Y/N," Jungkook kneeled down and hold her hands, in the middle of the busy campus. "I wont stop until you say yes. I will follow you. I will tell you everyday I love you. I will call you, text you, I wi-"

Y/N cuts him off by pulling him up, grinning, tears in her eyes.

"Serioualy Jeon, you are so annoying,just kiss me already," she grins, hands holding the back of his neck, making Jungkook smile with his bunny grin, love in his eyes.

"With pleaseure my love,"