#i dont know how i live like this either btw
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little-klng · 2 years ago
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cant deal with those poll posts asking how i do a simple math problem and they start listing weird pemdas number combos with an other option. the answer every time is "on my fingers for a couple minutes, crying" and its not likely to change
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hauntingblue · 4 days ago
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Rewatching act 2.... yeah ISHA WATCH OUT FOR THE CYCLE ISHA!!!!! NOOOOO
#ambessa setting up the logs on a fireplace while literally adding fuel to the fire with cailtyn... subtelty#silco spent his whole life trying to rile the undercity together STUPID JOKE THAT IT IS you have the chance to pull it off#isha is the true revolutionary after all... jinx get up to her level#was jinx scared of having hallucinations when the girl she released was gonna touch her shoulder??? and then she didn't#what i find really funny is that warwick knows how to use elevators and that funicular to the prison#also there is a lot of blood when he appears in the prison.... it was surprising#vander recognizing jinx with the name of powder after she complained about it eariler its just crazy crazy crazy#people commenting that its unrealistic how caitlyn bests vi when they meet in episode 6 as if there wasn't a montage about how she lost her#edge because of alcohol and living like shit.... she's not like jinx lmao....#rewatching so recently is so weird i imagine it is as close as being dr manhattan as i can get it is literally happening all at once#also the people of piltover are so dumb... lets let the government implement martial law and put this 20 something with 0 political#experience on charge with the army of this outsider agent. alright. i can tell you guys dont vote in this oligarchy you know fuck all#well i guess in that case it isnt the people of piltovers fault... just the important families that contribute in this oligarchy...#putting count fagula in charge.... salo is speciallt dumb but we all knew that#katie leung needs awards btw.... and interviews#“do not test this or you will yearn for caitlyn's dungeons” be careful singed my friend vi fell for that and look at her... her dungeons...#vander reaching for isha not jinx.... OR VI.... she just stopped him#“hes gonna kill you” and vi fighting vander to protect jinx.... yeah#and then she trusts jinx and the beast turns into vander... he serves as a recognizing tool for their true selves...#their mom being so worried about how to name vi and then names the second one POWDER kahdksjsk never not funny... also the barber of zaun#when vi joins with jayce she unlocks this loser flop aspect of her mother's inheritance.... two losers joining to maximize their joint flop#also vander kinda giving up this promise to protect the girls instead of bettering zaun... how it puts him in a standstill bc it's either or#like damn there is nothing as undoing as a daughter for reals. she didnt experience that bc she died so now vander has to and here we are#episide 6 starts with the end of the episode when viktor drops that metal piece..... hello..... is this anything#“do you think this place could work” underground utopia.... DYNASTIES AND DYSTOPIA FEAR IS NEVER AN OPTION SO DYING'S NOT A REAL PROBLEM#didnt ambessa suspect anything when they spent loke a full minite staring at each other 😭😭 she's lost her edge...#just like when she clocked sevika but not jinx... when there's a strong butch in the area her radar gets jammed up#and caitlyn leaving her weapon behind... ambessa thought she was gonna fistfight warwick or something#the metal thing falling when viktor dies repeats THREE TIMES WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#watching arcane season 2
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jrueships · 3 months ago
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Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them
#i am not a sneakerhead#i wish i could be . finacially i can be. but mentally i cannot#i am not a car guy either. i could. but i cant mentally#bcs the only time id get smthing pretty is to look at it. and keep it safe#and then id want to km$ for not using smthing thats intended to be used bcs i hate wasted potential#once i got these rlly nice shoes#ive worn them once when i was trying them on#and i hate myself every day for doing that but also i just cant get them dirty#BUT I HATE THAT#some ppl can do that. they get a million things and only use it once and yea i COULD but psychologically i just CANT#im friends with a lot of sneakerheads and chain wearers and while i cant mentally make myself one#i can understand why they can#like ppl always wanna excuse not helping ppl by pointing at the stuff they already have#like oh u can buy urself a chain but cant buy ur momma and u a nicer place to live#like ok so credit scores are not existent then. especially when ppl use that phrase against ppl growing into crime like#yes they are making money now but is it good clean money? no. thats not gonna go into smthing long term n hefty like a house#chains are a rlly big thing bcs sometimes some jewelers just dont ask questions. hence bmf's jeweler getting roped into their crime schemes#any business can be like that btw. like michael jacksons doctor getting paid to kill him. the difficulty lvl just changes#and also. random ppl make fun of the stuff they can see or hear right in front of them#random ppl can and will make u feel bad abt any little thing they know or see the best bcs theyre assholes like that#u wear shoes all the time everywhere. thats more and more eyes noticing how old/dirty ur shoes are#or ur cars old n busted or ur phones a fucking android like it doesnt matter. the more ppl can see. the more theyll know#the more sensitive u get abt whats actually small to u at the start but big 2 them n then it gets big 2 u#anyways yea so like. i get it. i dont do it but i can see why others do#anyways yea these shoes are so ugly lol like i dont buy merch of my favs unless the style matches mine personally#he just liked them bcs they were giannis tbh n then i pointed out they were modeled after 1 of the jerseys#which made he rlly want them a while back so i surprised him today#but yea these things are ugly lol im glad he likes them but ew LMFAO
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noctilu-uca · 1 month ago
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Art i got admitted into a district art show for waooww
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hella1975 · 2 years ago
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me and my (also bi) flatmate were talking about date guy last week and out of nowhere she goes 'if you get a boyfriend im gonna be so annoyed we haven't even done anything gay together yet' and like i laughed it off but i keep remembering it bc we dont have a flirty friendship AT ALL like even in the moment it came WAY out of left field and im just here like hold on was gay shit ON THE TABLE??? NO ONE TOLD ME
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zannolin · 1 year ago
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you ever get an idea that is sooooo. arghhhhh bites into a roof tile and cries.
#zanna talks#i cant like word it good yet#but i think if mia ever got to talk to ethan after he died like either bc he came back or a SOR situation or whatever#that she should be allowed to be a little angry at him for just giving up. not facing the aftermath.#like you went somewhere you knew i couldnt follow. you left because you knew i was still here to take care of rose.#but you left us alone. you left ME alone.#YOU KNOW like not bc he's a terrible horrible person for doing that but bc shes human and it hurt. what he did hurt.#and anger is a stage of grief for a reason you know#i am 110% convinced he was only able to do that because she wasn't there for him to look her full in the face and say i'm leaving#you cannot change my mind on this#not bc hes scared of her or whatever the fuck ppl seem to think. but bc he loves her. and how can you do that to someone when you can see#the hurt and the realization and the grief dawn in their eyes you know#anyway. sorry ive been thinking about this so hard i had to stop reading rwrb#putting this all in the tags btw bc iiiii am scared of mia winters antis here on tumblr okay dont come for me ppl let me chill#let me have my little ideas. let me be.#like mia would understand in a way why he did it bc she did the same thing except it was different then#they could have saved him. or at least they could have tried. and he just gave up#meanwhile mias been living with the consequences and the guilt of what she did every day for years now#YKNOW.
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kutana · 1 year ago
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a good portion of the mor.tal ko.mbat roster is asian therefore also poc!! please be wary.
#* 𝐾͟. 》 —⠀out of ‚#not a vague unless ur doing exactly what im going to describe#i have no one in mind when i write this. just a hypothetical person..who could also have the potential to exist#whether its you or someone else.#please be wary of casting and psds. i know a handful of characters are “ambigously asian enough” but their influences are very clear cut-#-in a lot of instances (ku.ai li.ang & ha.nzo)#and its not enough to chalk up lack of awareness to NRs lack of care.#is that the right saying??#which is also why i havent chosen a fc for kit.ana. the character itself has very clear japanese influences (weapons & name origin)#but also created to be the daughter of someone of chinese lineage. also a filipino and viet face model..just NR trying to#demonstrate how exotic <3 and unique <3 and other worldly <3 edenians are i guess.#u dont HAVE to choose a fc btw guys its definitely not something you have to do if u cant find a good fit..#in regards to psds though like...if ur going the realistic route of having that specific characters color-theme pop#make sure to not completely wash out the character and their skin?#b&w psds are tricky so i stay away but if thats ur thing just make sure the skin is a gray or neutral#also this isnt drama its just a warning. however if me talk bout this is uncomfortable..dont continue following me!#i do try and reach out personally if i see these problems but im not always online either#too busy living my dream shooting robots and reassuring my alien boyf that we CAN fuck without a manual in mas.s eff.ect
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szczylpierdolony · 2 years ago
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wish i had the type of depression where you party and do drugs and look sad in cinematic settings rather than the one where i never leave the house barely shower and lose any remnants of a personality ive left
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kn11ves · 1 year ago
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idk what it is with me and women but they just flock to me in my time of need. 5 seconds ive been in a room and they want to tie my shoelaces for me they wanna help me do things they want to give me advice and make sure im okay i what
#i wish i was kdiding#I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH IT!#btw im not talking about like. older women although that also happens to me#im talking about girls my age theyll just go to me like im a helpless baby bird if i need something#its not even my cane either because even when i have to do things without it (like my danza folkorica) they still wanna help me#like im so fr first day i showed up a girl tied my shoelaces TWICE and THEN drove me to my dorm afterwards with the rest of her friends i#mean that was so nice#idk what i activate in them but they always wanna help me out its so particular to me#and like. listen ok today we are learning a dance from sinaloa and to be short about it one of the moves is bending your back really far &#i was doing it wrong and bending badly and i ''nearly fell'' multiple times#except see i would never have fallen bc i have been so used to living without a cane until now that i know how to catch myself and im very#yk. good at not falling so i dont embarass myself#but it LOOKS very much like i am about to fall and at least THREE times the president was like ''oh my god ivan are you okay??''#i spooked her so bad i felt bad😭😭#its bc km always in front when shes teaching bc i wanna see her n others r too scared to be up front#and anyways what i was on about literally i was visibly struggling and EVERYONE IM NOT EXAGERARINF ALL THE GIRLS (well there was only one#other guy there but) STARTED GIVING ME ADVICE AND TRTING TO HELP ME one girl moved all the way accross her spot to mine and help guide me#shes so nice i hesrt her her name is charisma bro imagine your name being CHARM and she is charming :> very nice#it feels weird calling her my friend bc well we r all friends in a sense as we r clubmmates but. U Know#long rant TLDR women love me#dont tell them im afraid of them
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hauntingblue · 8 months ago
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Kiku I will avenge you. There will be not a stone unturned. Not a man unharmed. I do not care if kanjuro is dead this is something else. What the fuck.
#kid thats so metal... (heehee)#law sitting like a princess on sanji's shoulder ajdhaksj... babygirlism....#he has to begrudgingly tend to his wounds in candle light.... another babygirl.... the same as wrapping a jamón ajshaksjj#see when they are alone in the dark after they are done arguing the truth comes out....#the cloud is called hera..... of course...#zeus depressed akdjsksk go back to nami!!!!! oh nami doesn't want him either ajdhsjsjsj#omg luffy..... luffy!!!!!!! LUFFY GET UP!!!!! there he goes :)#i an with kaido here... did he just disappear.... what. is he falling off. is kaidi saying that bc people will comtinue to fight even if#luffy dies..... he got back up all smiling and shit.... to get kaido one last time.... luffy.....#am i a ham to you..... you are not that appetizing... insane btw..... there is history here....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1033#how does kaido know about joyboy... wdym you couldn't be joyboy.... KAIDO EXPLAIN#zeus <3 rip in peace.... omg new nami and zeus ad break moment#cant marco get perospero.... like come on he is jusg there flying around#chopper suplex..... just like franky taught him....#how are they recognizing momo in that doll ajdhakahaja the guy with the hamster arm akdhsks#momo feels luffy's pain omg.....#KID!!!!! YEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!#episode 1034#KIKU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY GIRL!!!!!!#DONT MAKE THAT FACE DONT SAY THAT!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO SHE DISNT HAVE TO DIE SHE ALREADY LOST AN ARM FOR THIS!! ASHURA DIED FOR HER MISTAKE!!!!#THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! FUKC OFF!!!!!!! KINEMON BEHEAD HIM!!!! SCISSOR STYLE!!!! FUCK HIM!!!#ANOTHER SWORDWOMAN DOWN!!! CAN THEY NEVER WIN!!!! OH FUCKING KAIDO NOW#what a fucking mess.... i hate this.... kiku should live this is not right oh fuck kinemon and his swords#i will defend good placed deaths like laki and wiper but this is not it..... this doesnt fit it doesnt make sense... no..#episode 1035
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the-acid-pear · 1 year ago
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The Psychos updated: they all died. Each and every single one of the psychos died. First, it was Patrick. He died in some random battle, fighting along his daughter. El Bromas wasn't even fucking moved about the love of his life dying like this truly justifying the name of the team. On the final battle, Bolien, Patrick and El's daughter fell first. It was the "Kill The Tyrant" mission so my fps were so low I didn't even see how or when she fucking died. Next, it was Walter White. He was a mystic, he was slow and weak, he couldn't outrun them all fast enough. Then, it was Yujiro. He died facing Ash. They both were surrounded, they knew there was no way to make it out alive. He made sure to bring the beast that killed him along to hell though. Now without his soulmate, Ash was done for. There were close to 20 enemies surrounding him, tentacles wrapped around him, couldn't even move. His last action? One last fucking headbutt, because when all fails, use your head. Now it was all up to El Bromas. He was fast, so he ran. He'd find the tyrant. He was the last hope, maybe if he did he'd end this, maybe his friends and family's sacrifice wouldn't have been on vain. He ran, and he found him. He had full armor, full warding, full health. He landed a shot, then another one after being first hit. A quarter of the tyrant's life was out, there was hope. I really thought El Bromas could make it as the sole fucking hero. But alas, for when he lost his eye way earlier on this tale he couldn't have forseen the repercussions, as one faithful 80% shot failed, giving the tyrant one whole turn to hit him right in the face, draining his life just like that.
And El lived! He ran away, he was alive. But... something appeared, something evil, a reflection of himself, something stronger that he was, and he gave him the opportunity to become one and become truly powerful. And after that... well, how could El Bromas not do it? He had just seen all he cared and loved die. He had lost everything. He had nothing left to lose and just everything to gain. And so the sole survivor took the deal, becoming one with his evil side. And so, the world was over. No more heroes left to defend it, The Psychos had officially failed. And that was the end of their tale.
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lavender---sunshine · 2 years ago
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My parents are driving me crazy
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plumipal · 6 months ago
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I just had a thought- how would Grim and the ramshackle ghosts feel about all the stuff happening to us?
Especially if the yandere(s) are coming over to our dorm too! Would they, depending on the severity of the yandere and their specific actions, range from supporting it cuz yknow reader gets to be happy with someone who treats them well and loves them to concerned because sweetie please get yourself outta there 😭
I can imagine Grim is NOT alright with it and for a multitude of reasons, they are taking away your time with HIM, and once he pays more attention to the bigger picture? Yeah messed up things be occasionally happening that could very well hurt you!! He does not like that!!!
im just imagining Grim being visibly not alright and reader will not have it either when it comes to him, they are a PACKAGE deal and that is that no matter which yandere comes their way 🗣️
we have many people more alright with Grim being reader’s number one priority, or yknow silently(?) wishing it was them, poor Grim and Reader man encountering yandere after yandere 😭
Grim would give us a look if we expressed any sort of romantic interest in any yandere I think lol
‘Pologies if it was too long or ranty, though I am curious who you think would be the most and least alright with this? I imagine Leona and Ace (legally required to bring up Ace he’s my all time fav next to Grim) would NOT like it lmao
.. first off, this is the longest ask ive ever gotten, I gotta just say oml thank you so much????? You, wrote all of this, fpr me?? 🥹🥹🥹💖💖💖 this literally made my week thank you so much bestie 🥹😭 second off, this inspired me to rant too, I hope you enjoy!- (not proofread btw)
So im mainly gonna focus on grim, no offence to ramshackle ghost fans, I just really like the silly little fire-cat/rat/weasel/creature. He was literally our first friend, our first companion (I bet Ace and grim bicker on who was your first).
And oh boy, guy is NOT HAPPY when he sees all these dumbasses vying for your attention and either trying to butter him up with tuna (which will not work on the mighty grim!) or ugnore him completely! Like you stated you and him are a package deal! Get the prefect and get their silly hungry companion!!
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Now, grim surely uses his position as your closest companion as a safety net, they can't kill off the closest you have to family in this world! Guess they gotta live with him if they wanna have a life with you.
Ace hates that grim was your friend before him, feeling annoyed whenever he bullied (Juice) Deuce about being friends with you before him only for grim to butt in. Ace isn't too annoyed with grim though, and grim thinks that Ace is one of the better choises of the roster you have, they're both friends after all.
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Of course most students in the cast don't liek "sharing" you with grim, especially the more territorial ones. Leona is probably the worst, I mean come on they're both feline looking creatures. With scent being a heavy thing for felines (yes even beastmen dont come at me) Leona is not happy to have his scent on you be muddied by the little rodent (the greatest mage of all, grim). Probably the worst choise since they're just gonna bicker to the end of the world..
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Floyd doesn't like this either! Not fair that he has to share!! And with grim no less.. Floyd results in biting you instead of scenting, his chompers being good for nibbling on you. He also has the advantage that grim is sorta afraid of him (honestly who wouldn't be? Especially yan Floyd...).
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Kalim tries to brime grim, with anything he could ever think off! Unlimited tuna for grim, and the best there is as well!! Nything grim could ever want on a silver platter, only if grim let's kalim marry you! That alone doesn't sound too bad, but that unsettling horrifying servant that follows Kalim around. He knows what jamil can do, and he sure does NOT want you with that dude!- guy is manipulative and creepy (he would definelty seperate you and grim!-)
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Malleus... Malleus scares grim, guys is honestly horrifying. Threatening to curse him into an eternal slumber so he can whisk you away from him, he doesn't want that! You would also get sad id malleus did that, so luckily the possessive dragon had to share (for now...)
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Whoever you choose, grim would probably disapprove, guy thinks of you as family (he will never admit that tho). He cares about you, and he is not okay with the invasion of privacy from these teenagers! >:(
I know you didn't ask fpr any drawing or such, but I couldn't help myself sorry 🤭 hope you like my ramblings back at you!
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agirlwithglam · 6 months ago
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Do you ever feel sick and don't feel like doing anything when the day before you told yourself you were going to do a glow up, live always the best ecc..?
yes definitely! unless i'm actually sick and incapable of doing anything, i will at least try. you didn't ask for advice, but here we go anyways. when i feel like that, heres a few things i do:
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how to do things when you don't feel like doing them: (from personal experience)
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believe that you can do anything. dont roll your eyes at me! dont skip this part either. this is the main point that gets me going every single time. i truly believe that i can do anything, that i am capable of literally anything that i want to achieve. if i want it, i will have it. that is the first mindset you must have when it comes to this.
start small/ make it fun. yes, ofc i said this. if you can't do a full 1 hour workout, do some pushups/squats/lunges and go for a bike ride or a walk with a friend. what i do when im going bike riding with a friend is we go to a mall and buy drinks there! so make it fun! adding friends to whatever you need to do certainly makes it fun. another thing you can do is if you need to read, you can create a cosy spot in your room with scented candles and a little snack and everything and sit and read there. just the idea of it gets me excited!
treat yourself like a project/ robot. now THIS is something that has certainly gotten my some discipline. we as humans have emotions and feelings and moods. sometimes we don't wanna do stuff, and we actually cave into that. if you promised yourself that you would change your life, switch off your emotions and moods. treat yourself like a robot or an "apprentice" that you're training to become the best.
reward yourself! so you can either reward the action (like reading or studying) or the outcome (like finishing a book or getting a high mark on a test). decide what works the best for you. example: you don't wanna study? you can either a) reward yourself for studying with some free time with friends or watching your fav show or b) you can reward your self by the score you get on the test (ex if you got higher than 80%= a certain thing on your wish list, above 90%= a better thing on your wish list, 100%= the thing you've wanted for ages) you don't wanna read? you can either.. a) reward yourself for reading for x amount of minutes or b) you can reward yourself for finishing a book in a certain amount of time.
alter egosss. i know, i mention this quite often, but trust me this actually gives such a burst of emotion! embody someone else/ a different version of you that can best handle the situation. im gonna make a whole post on alter egos soon cus i mention it in a lot of my posts.
EDIT:
Please remember that if ur actually sick or genuinely feeling really low, remember to rest!! Remember to take time to relax and slow down. Take care of yourself honey <3
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thats it for now! i hope this helped <3
btw heres a big master-post to how to get things done when you dont want to (not by me)
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constantlyfeelsick · 4 months ago
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You know how Vergil barely aged between DMC5 and DMC3 (well compared to Dante atleast anyways)? And you know how it's said that part of this is because he spent the last 20 years in Hell?
Well, I've realised that maybe time is experienced differently in Hell. Hell in DMC is said to be a "9 dimensional" realm, so we do know that the structure and fabric of Hell is different compared to Earth, maybe because of that time passes differently in Hell aswell.
Building on your headcanon of Hell being a different planet, I think that Hell isn't situated on Earth but neither is it exactly situated on a planet. Whether if Hell was on Earth or not, either way the rate at which humans age wouldn't have significantly slowed down, a minute on Earth is still a minute on Neptune. So Vergil would have aged at the same rate as Dante if Hell was a different planet, maybe a bit slower than if he was on Earth, but roughly the same.
I think rather, time passes much slowly in Hell, somewhat like it's theorised that time slows down upon reaching the outermost boundary of a blackhole, yet time goes on by at the same rate outside. Perhaps Hell has the same phenomenon? This would also explain things such as the lifespans of demons in Hell (Sparda and Mundus in particular). Sure, you could say that because demons out perform humans in every category, why wouldn't demons live longer? I mean, you'd have a point, but that's such a basic bitchass answer. Isn't it more interesting to say that demons live "longer" because their bodies are adapted to the slower passage of time in Hell, and they just seem to exceed human lifespans on Earth because time goes by faster on Earth.
The thing that I've always wondered about in the DMC universe is Hell (or the Demon world). It is like a totally different planet - with its own sun and all. With the thought of it being like another planet, I like to think that it took millions of years to develop its ecosystems and lineages, just like earth did.
And I also love the detail of how plants and rock in 'The Demon world' are white just like Sparda's descendants hair, kind of implying that its a natural color for demons to have. It's a bit hard to put into words how crazy i am about the world of Devil May Cry.
Please share your headcanons and lore tidbits i need the food......
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hangup119 · 2 months ago
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don't get the deal | h. taesan (TEASER)
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being the shoulder to cry on is no easy task - especially not for han taesan, who has lived almost half of his life painfully smitten over someone he is confident would never, ever think of wanting him as more than just a friend. he wonders if he will ever get out of this so-called "friend zone," or maybe he just doesn't get the deal at all.
pairing. han taesan x fem. reader
genres + warnings. friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, one-sided pining, eventual happy ending, slight angst + profanity, taesan is bad at feelings, reader is even worse
playlist. don't get the deal by beabadoobee; but i like you by boy next door; somethin' stupid by frank sinatra; about a girl by nirvana; disasterology by pierce the veil; if i'm james dean, you're audrey hepburn by sleeping with sirens
expected word count. 7k-10k words | teaser word count. 1.3k words
author's note. hey goisss... ive had this in the drafts for so so long but for some reason i started working on it again and im nearing the end so hopefully this will be out very soon !!! dont quote me on that tho live laugh love user hangup119's work ethic <3 ALSO btw this teaser is like a flashback kinda thing but the real story actually takes place in their college days
@onedoornet | reblogs appreciated!
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IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL WHEN YOU RUINED TAESAN'S LIFE FOREVER.
To be more specific, it was during your last year of high school when he realized that there was simply no way he was ever going to win you over. Not now, and certainly not ever.
Because here’s the thing: Taesan was not a bad-looking guy, he’s far from it, actually. In fact, he had enough business cards from agency recruiters that could fit a whole shoe box, so his looks clearly were never the problem here. Was it his personality, then? Probably not that, either. He was pretty chill most of the time, and he had never really acted up around anyone unless it truly called for it. He always made sure that he wasn’t making a fool out of himself around you, and there were never really incidents that could have painted him in a bad light in your eyes. He had decent grades, so he wasn’t stupid either, which was one of your major turn-offs. And he was sporty—he participated in the school’s soccer team, and he even had a bunch of fans giggling over him whenever he so much as passed them by while chasing after the ball, so his popularity was pretty decent too.
Was he simply not… your type? But that couldn’t be—you were always making heart eyes at Park Sunghoon who was two grades above, and he was told all the time that he was basically a lookalike of the guy! Not to mention you were always at Jung Sungchan’s games, cheering his name even when the guy was literally being benched. Taesan never got benched. He was the star player of his soccer team. You fawned over Park Wonbin when he performed at the school’s talent show, but Taesan could also sing and play the electric guitar just as well. You squealed over Lee Sohee because he was sooo cute! but Taesan knew how to get real fucking adorable, too! He practically had all of their qualities combined into one, and not once did you ever look back at him. 
And that’s when it hit him. 
It was prom that night, and he was off at the corner drinking from a cup of water instead of jumping along with the fray and bouncing up and down to some Drake song when his friend, Kim Leehan, approached him. 
“I’m not slow-dancing with you, Leehan,” he muttered, taking another sip of his bland water. “Piss off.”
Leehan raised his arms in response, smiling in a way that was just so Leehan-like of him. “Woah, woah, I get it. Someone pissed in your cup, or something? Literally and figuratively,” he laughed, leaning against the wall next to him. “Lighten up for once, ‘san. It’s your first and last prom, you know?” 
Taesan only grunted in return. 
“Look at you; so emo tonight,” Leehan said, defeated. He followed the other’s gaze towards the dance floor, where everyone is packed together like a can of sardines. “But you’re always so normal around Y/N.” 
Taesan paused.
Leehan laughed again. “Hm, maybe not?” 
Sometimes, it was both a blessing and a curse to be friends with someone like Kim Leehan. 
“Stop talking about things you already know,” Taesan murmured, chucking the water cup into the trash can a few meters away. He placed his hands inside his pockets, looking straight ahead amidst the dizzying lights and the dispersed crowd now that a slow song started playing.
“Why don’t you go ask her for a dance?” Leehan suggested, signaling towards the dance floor. 
“She’s literally holding hands with Yang Jungwon right now,” Taesan deadpanned. “Are you kidding me? How’d she get him of all people as her prom date?” 
Scoring the smartest and the most popular student in your school has got to be the biggest flex of your high school career. Taesan had almost no complaints except for the fact that Yang Jungwon was your date instead of—him! Any moment now and he’d be losing his mind. Actually, scratch that, he probably already was. 
Leehan hummed. 
“Do you think,” he began, slowly, darting his line of sight between you who’s giggling at something Yang Jungwon said, before turning back to Taesan, the angstiest kid he’s ever known. “That, maybe, if you had just asked her out to prom with you… then maybe she’d have said yes?” 
Finally, the gears inside Taesan’s head started to turn. Leehan smiled at the sight.
Taesan quickly scoffed. “No way,” he denied, crossing his arms. “Why would she go with me when she’s got Yang Jungwon as her date? It’d only happen in my dreams.” 
He figured it out anyway. It wasn’t because he wasn’t as handsome as Park Sunghoon, or as sporty as Jung Sungchan, or as musically talented as Park Wonbin (though he’d beg to differ), or as cute as Lee Sohee. Heck, it wasn’t even because he wasn’t as smart or as popular as Yang Jungwon. 
Maybe it was never because of those things that made you look at them instead of him. 
Maybe you were just never interested in him at all. 
And Taesan will have no other choice but to live with that fact forever. 
Leehan’s smile dropped, and he peeled himself away from the wall. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped for a second just to say: “You’re so—stubborn.” 
Taesan looked at him indignantly. “...What’s that supposed to mean?” 
Leehan shrugged, finally walking away. “You tell me, dude.” 
And then he was gone, rushing off to join the rest of their friends while Taesan stayed in the back, alone and miserable all because of his newfound epiphany. Though he supposed he was already miserable the moment you entered the venue with Yang Jungwon right beside you. 
It was a time of new beginnings for Taesan; a time to finally move on from you. 
Though, if only it was that easy.
Two weeks later, when you were working on a final project with him, you unexpectedly dropped the news that you and Jungwon have broken up. Because Jungwon was going to some Ivy League, and you were decidedly… not. You couldn’t handle the thought of being long-distance, so you decided to just cut things off with him since it can’t be helped, you know? And then you proceeded to laugh it off with that huge, idiotic smile of yours before continuing on with the project. Taesan didn’t know what was so funny.
Eventually, he had to share his water with you when you started sobbing hysterically inside of the library, hiccuping and all. 
He admittedly felt awful seeing you cry over Yang Jungwon, your high school boyfriend of probably only two months, but most importantly, he felt awful because of the relief that suddenly washed over him. 
…And what did that make Taesan?
So, really, maybe it was for the better that you would never look at Taesan the way he wished you would. That no matter how many times he has lent you an ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, you never bothered to stop for a moment and think that hey, maybe this guy likes me to some capacity, and maybe I should give him a chance. Because what kind of friend is he to feel relieved at the fact that you had gotten dumped by your boyfriend? That when your heart was broken, he could only rejoice at the fact that he now has a higher chance of getting with you once again even when it is so clear that he never once did? 
How could he sit next to you and think such thoughts? 
And yet, even when you keep jumping from one person to another, falling for someone, crying over another—Taesan will always be there for you when it all comes crashing down. A friend to cheer you on, to lift you up, to steady you—because that’s all he’ll ever be to you. 
Han Taesan was only seventeen years old when you ruined his life. 
And for what it is worth, he is still in love with you.
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story by hangup119. do not steal.
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