#i never asked to be born into this. i wish i never was. i wish i wasnt alive right now

[ashblooddragons]

The Red Queen (Chapter 14/?)

Series Masterlist

Kingslanding 

113 ac

Your pov

I try to ignore the wails and screams that fills the halls. The swish of maids dresses as they rush down the halls with bloody rags trying to find clean ones. The whispers of courtiers trying to decide if the babe will be a boy or not. 

I try, but I find even a deaf man would hear the wails that fill the keep. 

All this pain for a babe? I think solemnly looking down at my flat belly. To think that one day a babe would one day grow there is baffling. 

“Her Grace needs more hot water.” I hear a frantic maid say most likely to another maid. 

I remember how happy I was finding out I was gonna be a big sister, now I wish I wasn't if only for her. 

Papa and Ali asked for me to come to his chambers. I try to figure out on the way what it could be about. 

Maybe there's gonna be another wedding? Nyra is betrothed to Laenor. I think just before the doors to Papa’s chambers open. 

“Ah wonderful you're both here!” Papa says when I enter. I notice Nyra sitting next to him scowling towards Ali who only hangs her head and twists her fingers.

“Yes we're both here, now what do you need?” Nyra asks in that tone of hers. She's been speaking this way ever since Ali married Papa. I don't get why she blames Ali, Ali said she couldn't stop it even if she wanted to, and it seemed like she wanted to. 

Papa grimaces at Nyras tone before smiling again. 

“I-no we have wonderful news. The Queen is with child!” Papa exclaims taking Ali's hand in his not even looking at her.

I smile ear to ear when I hear this. “I'm gonna be a big sister?” I ask excitedly as I rush over to Ali touching her belly.

I never got the chance before, Papa said Mama was too sick that it just wouldn't happen for a while. But then she did, but then she passed. 

With that thought I look up at Ali worriedly and she seems to notice my fears as she speaks next. 

“The Maesters say it should be a healthy pregnancy. No complications, at least from what they can tell as of now.” 

I smile wider, staring at her still flat belly trying to figure out if I'm gonna have a sister or brother. But then Nyra scoffs and glares at Ali.

“It's only been three moons since your wedding, and you're already with child? Interested.” She says as if she knows some dark secret and is all too happy about it. 

I'm confused why the time between their marriage and the baby being here is important. I mean we all saw them kiss at the wedding, and many times after. It was only a matter of time those kisses made a baby. 

Before Ali can cry from Nyras cruel words or Papa yell at Nyra I decide to speak. 

“This is great, do we know if it's a boy or a girl?” 

This makes Ali laugh as she looks down at me stroking my wild hair back. I know she knows own. I just went for a fly, I had told her that Srromchaser has been sad lately and I hoped a fly would help.

“We won't know until they are born. But what do you hope for?” 

My immediate thought is that I hope Ali lives and doesn't pass away like Mama. But I know I can't say that, this is a happy moment, no sad thoughts allowed. 

“I want a,” I start stopping to think one last time before responding. “Sister!” I decide with a nod.

She smiles down at me, she finally seems happy again. Like the Ali I knew before Nyra was mad at her and Papa married her. 

“Oh but a son would be helpful, don't you want a brother, Darling?” Papa says with a forced grin.

I try not to frown at his words, Papa always wanted a son I never understood why though. 

But what made me the most upset was how his words took away Alis smile. She was finally happy and he just had to ruin it. 

I'm brought back when the screams finally stop, I feel my heart stop, I can't breathe.

Why is it so quiet? Shouldn't there be a babe crying? Surely if I can hear her screams all the way across the keep I would hear a babes cries? I think frantically as I climb out of bed clutching my Caraxes plush. 

I move to open the door only to find Ser Criston. He doesn't seem to have noticed me having seemingly also been co fused by the sudden quiet. 

“Is she alright, oh please say she's alright Criston.” I beg tears rolling down my cheeks. 

He looks down at me frowning before kneeling and taking my hands in his much larger ones. 

“I don't know, but I am going to find out. Stay here, a guard will be in front of your door. I will be back as soon as I can with news.” Ser Criston says before standing and turning down the hall in search of a maid or maester with news.

I try not to think about how he didn't say good news, only news. I know there is a chance she could die, but I prayed, I prayed so much she wouldn't. I prayed to the Seven like she taught me, to the old gods, I even tried to pray to the Valyrian ones like Kepus taught me. So surely one of them heard me and will follow my prayers. 

I turn back into my chambers wiping my tears walking towards Orchid. She quickly sits me in her lap showing me the new hat she made for her son Noah. 

“I was thinking of putting little stars along the hem, and for his sister Clover well she will have flowers. She says trying to distract me from the cruel wait to know if all is well. 

I nod my head as I move Caraxes wings up and down pretending he is actually in the skins and not just a plush in my arms. 

Kepus wouldn't make me wait this long, he'd let me know right away. I think eyeing the door for any moment when finally after what feeling like moons a knock comes to the door.

“The Queen awaits you, Your Grace.” I hear Criston say through the door. 

Orchid quickly sets me on my feet and slips my wool slippers on as well as my silk shawl ‘to keep the cold away’ she says. Before running to the door with Caraxes still clutched in my arms.

“Is she alright? Is the babe? Oh please tell me they are alright!” I plead as he takes my hand in his guiding me towards the Queen's chambers. 

He smiles down at me before nodding and I feel all the worry leave my body. I fight the tears of relief that they are alright, that they are still breathing, that they hadn't passed like Mother and Baelon did. 

I can't help but notice all the courtiers who stand outside the Queen's chambers. I hear them whisper about how if it's a boy it would be the heir. 

If it's a boy it would be heir? I wouldn't feel all this stress anymore? I wouldn't have all of court watching me? I think excitedly before remembering that if it is a boy it will feel all this stress, fear, and crushing weight on him.

No please don't let it be a boy, I don't want anyone to feel this, let alone a innocent babe. I pray to any gods that will hear me.

Ser Ceiston pushes them all out of our way until we yet to the doors. 

“The Queen and King are excited to see you.” He says before opening the door and letting me in.

I step in taking in the sight of Papa talking to maester about something, and of Ali holding a bundle of blankets in her arms. I watch with bated breaths as she lifts her head to look at me. Her smile lights the room from its pure joy. 

“Come here.” She says waving me over. 

I waste no time running over to her tears of relief finally rolling down my cheeks. I climb into the bed sluggling into her side crying into her chest.

“What's wrong, Sweetheart?” She asks stroking my hair back so she can wipe my tears as they fall.

“I thought something bad happened, that you would be like-like.” I can't even finish the sentence but thankfully she seems to understand as she hums before responding.

“Me and your brother are perfectly fine.” She says and I can't help but look up at her wide eyed.

“I have a baby brother?” I ask looking down at the black and gold blanket again. 

“Yes, his name is Aegon.” 

I smile big as I move the blanket to the side to see his chubby cheeks and silver gold wisps. 

“Like the conquer. I love it.” I say stroking his cheek. 

His skin feels so soft, so fragile, like the finest silk. His cheeks are red and he seems to be asleep as his eyes are closed and he has yet to open them. 

“I'm glad you like them, now I have two wonderful children. You and Aegon.” She says and I freeze turning to look up at her. 

I see the joy bit also the fear in her eyes. But I don't know why she is afraid, I would be over joyed to be her child as well.

“Well we are lucky to have such a good Mama.” I respond and I see her wipe at her eyes fighting tears. At first I think she is sad but then she smiles and kisses my brow and I know they are happy tears. 

“Can I hold him?” I ask to which she nods telling me to sit with my back against the head board and hold my arms out in front of me. 

When Aegon is set into my arms I'm shocked how heavy he is. He's so tiny surely he isn't that heavy? I think looking down at him once he is in my lap. 

“He's so cute.” I whisper excitedly to Ali.

“He truly is.” She says shifting her position only to whince in pain. 

I frown going to ask if she is alright when she kisses my cheek and looks down at Aegon again.

“He looks just like you. Just with Papa’s hair, and I don't know what his eyes look like.” I whisper to her.

“You think so? All of the men say he looks like the King. And I hadn't gotten a close look at his eyes, but I do know they are purple.” She says stroking Aegons nose making him scrunch it up in annoyance making us both giggle.

It always strikes me as odd how she always refers to Papa as ‘the King', they are married and yet they only call each other by their titles. King, Queen, Wife, Husband, anything but their names or a sweet nickname. But instead of bringing it up I shrug it off like always looking down at my little brother again.

“I'm your big sister, I'll always protect you. Even when your big and strong, I'm gonna protect you from the bad people here. I'll guide you, teach you Valyrian, I even have toys you can pick from. Just not my Caraxes and Stormchaser plushes. Oh and not my dolly either, she looks just like me, even had my eyes.” I whisper down to him excitedly.

In my excitement I miss how Nyra walks in only to storm out once she hears its a son. But what I wish I didn't miss was how Papa stares at Aegon with disdain, and how the Hand looks at him like a tool. But Ali does, and because of this she holds me and Aegon closer silently swearing to the gods to always protect us even if it meant her demise.

Special thanks to my bestie @sugutoad for making the header for this fic! I swear I'd be lost without you girly!

TAGLIST: @sugutoad @ilikefelines @classicsimpforaaronwarner @sachaa-ff @mmogurl @athzhowakar @themoonlitquill @thelastemzy @fallenxjas

[dykedvonte]

Hi, I am sorry if someone already asked you this and I completely missed it, but why do you think Anya asked for Jimmy’s help to feed Curly his pills? Swansea and Daisuke were still high-functioning and available when she asked for help. I am having a hard time understanding her thought process about leaving his patient at the mercy of her rapist, someone she was afraid so much that she felt the need to hide gun. Not to mention, she hid that gun under a secret drawer of Curly’s med bay bed too. If I was Anya, I would be scared of the possibility of Jimmy accidentally finding the gun the most. Yet she still took that risk.

We know that it shows how Jimmy can force things to people without their consent, but this is a very meta reasoning, and it says nothing about Anya’s thought process imho. I don’t think Anya was quietly and secretly taking revenge on Curly either. I interpret it as mix of wishful thinking and submission born out of fear due to Jimmy’s new captain status, but I am curious about your analysis as a psych major.

I personally think with the gun, Anya was not concerned about him finding it or looking for in medical. He doesn't know she specifically hid the gun and of all the places he'd look he wouldn't assume she'd keep it in medical, mainly cause he likely believed Curly preemptively hid it instead. Part of the reason I think he committed to crashing the ship is his belief Curly was no longer in his corner in a major way, confronting him about Anya finally proves as much to him but perhaps believing Curly hid the gun, believing that Curly thinks he's dangerous, and that he's screwed at all front at that point.

Anya probably assumed he'd never look under Curly post-crash and she was right in that assumption despite how risky. To be honest, we can take her trying to relieve him of the dealing with Curly is tied to her getting more panicked by the idea of him finding the more he lingers in medical.

I have talked about why she would even ask Jimmy in the first place and honestly I can chalk up the first time he feeds Curly to Anya wanting to get away from him, since he is demeaning and pointed to her the entire conversation since the other times she is comfortable and even implies she's been taking care of Curly herself between the segments Jimmy does it. It's been picked up by some other people but Anya is likely just giving him the tasks because he needs something to do to feel useful and feel fulfilled in the now worthless role as "Captain". I don't think she assumed he'd be so violent with Curly and even if she noticed what is she supposed to say that won't make Jimmy take it out on her or Curly more?

I have to say Anya is consistently concerned in the game with protecting herself and keeping herself safe. I don't think in the moment that she was 100% concerned about Curly being harmed compared to herself. It sounds selfish but its just a basic fear response. She fawns and tries to make Jimmy feel important even tho he's not because it keeps her safe. Making it seem like too much for her or letting him do it after he is aggressive with her or after the likely heavy/nerve-wracking convo with Swansea are all things were she just doesn't want him around anymore. Even if it would be better for Curly for her to stand ground and insist to do it, there is the likely going to be at cost of her mental security and even physical safety when it comes to Jimmy.

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met

[grumpyghostdoodles]

Frisk: "Oh, so you make fun of Asriel for not telling humans apart very well, but then you go and do this? Shame on you"

---------------

The character design for the new kid of "The Fairly OddParents: A New Wish" is so unintentionally hilarious. Hazel looks like a very sweet kid, and retired Cosmo and Wanda was a nice surprise, but holy shit out of all the fandoms they could accidentally reference, im wheezing

[citrusai]

taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.

[jordanswitches]

i wanna have your arms tied so they're stretched high above your head and sit on your lap so you can only squirm a little and your skin is pulled so taut that every sensation feels like electricity and i just trail my fingers up your sides, over your ribs, the sides of your chest, into your armpits, and back down. over and over and over and over and over. it's light and it's slow and it shouldn't affect you so much and yet. you're trying to pull out of your cuffs and kicking your feet and your tummy is flinching and i'm just drinking up your reactions, knowing it's all for me

[niofo]

i think veilguard's refusement to engage with the tevinter slavery plotline has this one unfortunate consequence for the shadow dragons - we have this rebellious anti-slavery organization and yet the leadership that we're seeing is still a bunch of magisters. the good ones, yes, and it makes sense that they're using their power in connections for the good of the cause, but even well meaning, they lack the personal experience of how is it to be the person they are fighting for. had there been more openness to the discussion of the slavery in the game, there could be a freed slave or a liberati shown as one of the leaders, treated equally to ashur, mae or dorian - to show that they mean in when they fight with slavery. we should have had a fenris character in there, who is keeping all those magisters in check from white knighting and making a mess of everything - but the game is not really ready for it. in the end there's this awkward situation when my lord of fortune rook has a more personal experiences with the slavery than this anti-slavery organization. you can even have a very uncharitable watsonian explanation the the whole movement is deep down just another power grab and squabble between the nobility under a nice pretense of a social justice movement. i don't think that was the intention, but it could be a bad faith reading of this situation.

(and i don't think the solution is as easy as just making tarquin an ex slave. yes, he's the voice of pragmatism in there, but also his personal arc heavily rely on having to perform bullshit gender stereotypes to be granted his gender identity - it's a different kind of story, and from taash we know bw is not great at handling two social causes at once)

[genderdenied]

☆ㅤwolf4fox

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!! ㅤ;ㅤ for : @forthecriminallyinsane

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; tagging : @radiomogai @x4xarchive @liom-archive

[puckpocketed]

can i just say... as a canadian hockey fan, if that means anything (bc we don't own the sport, much as the uncles protest)... you know more abt hockey tactically than me full stop. you belong without question and you would even if you didn't have half a clue what icing is !! but you do and it's beautiful and hockey is so lucky to have *you*

HELD on to this ask a bit longer than originally intended, i hope you don't mind!! this was so lovely to read after my little crisis of faith <- many such cases <3 thank you for this, really. and you're completely right of course...! knowing and not knowing certain things doesn't dictate whether someone belongs in a space.

[far-side-skies]

Not a headcanon, but I'm just curious to know your personal opinion on the subject. How would Ravess and Snipe reunite after being exiled from Cyclonia? Would they look for each other?

Hmm, I don't think they would look for each other. Their vindictive meanness to each other is played up for laughs in the show, but I do see it as part of a genuine dislike and resentment of each other due to personal headcanons regarding their childhoods. I didn't give them any reasons to seek each other out after their exiles.

In fact, I think Ravess would even see her outcast status as a blessing eventually. She's free. Free from that brat Empress, all the pressures of being a commander, and free of her annoying brother.

Snipe is a bit aimless at first, but even he learns to embrace the lack of responsibilities and endless nagging from Ravess. I think he gets a job working for the Colonel for a while, and Ravess tries to pursue a full-time career in music.

They're both forced to reunite though when Cyclonia's new ruler after Cyclonia Rising invites them both back into the Talon ranks to help fight back against the sky knights who think that because Cyclonis bailed they get to shove around what remains of the Empire.

The reunion is explosive and a lot of swearing is involved. The Talons all get popcorn and watch.

[tazabel]

ok, but Six Hundred Strike has the same energy as "Demons run when a good man goes to war"

[yourinaudiblename]

ughhhh why is gender so hard to figure out. my body is like boom gender dsyorphia but won’t tell me noone about my identity

(I accidentally made an entire vent in the tags lmao)

[devil-in-hiding]

what's weighing on your heart ):

- 🧩

choices i made, things i let get away, people i hurt

[seyaryminamoto]

Sheesh! Azulon is such a spoiled brat, huh? 🤣

... Yes. He is.

Ngl, I rewatched LOTR's trilogy over the past three days and I was surprised by something in it that I immediately connected to Azulon. I've never seen anyone else draw this parallel with LOTR, instead I only ever see people in the fandom constantly comparing Azulon, intentionally or not, with Tywin Lannister.

... as far as I'm concerned, Azulon is Denethor. Full stop.

Even if you want to think the guy loved his firstborn? He was a twisted, pissy asshole who wanted to cling to power at all costs, that above all else, and his "beloved" son was his best means to achieve that. Hell, I'd argue Azulon wouldn't even be likely to have the "last minute awakening" that Denethor did regarding Faramir... but Denethor's behavior over Boromir is 100% the same as Azulon's over Iroh. "Oh, my perfect, glorious, wonderful son who can get everything right, and whose useless brother can't ever measure up to! I'm going to idealize you and give you all the privileges and glorious missions and pretend you could've achieved anything, while he was worth less than the dirt under your feet!"

So, yes, the way I write Azulon is so much closer to Denethor, specifically in terms of how he treats his family, than to Tywin Lannister and all the fandom's attempts to rationalize and justify his treatment of Ozai, all be it because "baby killed my wife". Worth noting? There's no solid evidence of that: Ilah is as good as a non-character, nobody knows what kind of relationship he had with her, Azulon very well could have used her as a brooding mare and nothing more, for all we know... but along with this? A bastard of Azulon's caliber, who helmed the Fire Nation's war for THE LONGEST PERIOD out of all three canon Fire Lords, does not need any greater excuses to treat his second-born like trash, much like Denethor didn't. :')

Of course, I take Azulon a bit further than most people by depicting his insecurities over his newborn granddaughter... I think there's no logical explanation for him to overlook Azula and be as unaffected by her as he's shown to be in Zuko Alone's flashback. She's a prodigy, she should be a useful weapon for him, at the very least...! And he's completely unconcerned with her. He actually shows more reaction to Zuko than he does to Azula. Hmm. Makes ya wonder, huh? :')

So yeah, I think there are many layers to how twisted Azulon is. Dude really took things to a whole other level of BS and kept doing it until the very end. Fandom can call me crazy as much as it cares to, but I don't think any grandfather who demands for the death of his grandson as a punishment for his second son's impertinence should EVER be given the "benefit of the doubt", or granted any excuses for this behavior just because Ozai was a shitty human being. Ozai sure was one: and he learned exactly how to be that way from daddy dearest himself :')

[shadyhouse]

.

[blitheringbongus]

Can't believe Scar saw a rapidly approaching, dishevled mumbo and went "he's so cute." I need to run unorthodox experiments on them.

IKR SAME OMG

They’re literally perfect for each other <- delusional

But seriously they have so much lore together in my silly brain and the few interactions they do have (WHICH HAS BEEN INCREASING A LOT LATELY MAY I ADD) has been FUELING the fire rapidly and gods gods GODS do I have many thoughts about them