#i didnt really talk about the bullying
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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?
put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings
#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work#eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help#so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that#HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and#the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be#1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on#2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels#3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships#4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player#like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying#what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting#and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out#so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet#and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much#so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps#like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together#letting each other help with each others' problems#thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity#so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping#as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures#the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did#vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened#eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him#and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him#and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player#and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do#im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck
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I think its really cute that Manuel gets the most love from comments! I think he deserves it, because even I have dubbed him as the Best Boy. But, Mani has mixed feelings about receiving praise and being considered the favorite. He’d sooner think people are lying to him than believe they actually like him that much. Because, why would they?
His view of himself comes from years of being stuck in the middle.
#los brujos#manuel#adrian#victor#my art#IF I CAN just get a little heavy in the tags for a sec#cw: talking about race and body image stuff#not mentioned in this little comic because i didnt want it to be TOO sad#manuel was bullied a lot in school and it affected his self confidence a looot#technically they ALL were to an extent#but Manuel had a very hard time not only being big but also Black#people were unkind and he felt better disappearing to avoid getting sneers from anyone#but that was pretty much impossible when he became so tall#though puertorican culture has a huge African/Black influence it still suffers from colorism and racism#and it would be dishonest to write a story about afroboricuas and not touch that subject even slightly#i just didn’t feel like info dumping in a comic about ALL THAT#cuz really the anons were just being cute#sorry to ramble
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who up crying over vanessa fnaf
#vanny shenanigans#“i was supposed to be a good girl.” YOU'RE KIDDING YOUR EKIDDING YOUR EKIDDING#LIKE I DONT EVEN CARE IM NOT EVE NCREYING LIKE TIS WHATVER#“i can't talk about this. he said he would always be watching.... he could be here. or there or anywhere in between..”#YOU KICKED AND CRIEDDDDDD LIKE A BULLIED CHILDDDDDDD#A GROWN MAN OF TWENTY FIVEEEEEEEEE#HE REALLY MESSED YOU UP DIDNT HE?????????????
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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i log on to this site. i write essays about dnp and their gay little antics. i save them to my drafts because i am scared of being perceived. i log off again
#i have thoughts. but at what cost#i know people on here are generally really cool but i dont wanna risk it lshfldkjfslkjg#like this isnt twitter but there are still topics that people will bully you for having the wrong opinion on djfskkjfk#and also theres the fact that my dissociative episodes have been better lately since im less sleep deprived but#i still have a really hard time trusting my own perception of reality sometimes if that makes sense???#like every time i try to express a serious thought on here my brain goes#ok but what if i got all of this wrong.#what if i misremembered everything and i cant read suddenly so i cant fact check it#what if dan and phil arent even real and i just made them up and nobody knows what im talking about dsjhgljglknfls it's rough#it's making it really hard to finish my thesis project as well bc i second guess every single thought i have like i cannot trust myself.#losing my mind#discussing dans phantwerp autism blunder over the last few days really took it out of me#bc i started panicking like omg what if he didnt even say that at all and i just completely made it up dsflglglsknvlknvlnknkldsnv#anyway rip to the 126 posts in my drafts which will never see the light of day
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thinking about how ivypool thought dovewing got favoritism from the clan growing up and continued to enforce the idea that dove was an entitled bitch, and then she participated when the clan was manipulating and guilt tripping dovewing into a relationship with an entitled creep who didnt respect her, telling her she owed him affection
#‘’my sister gets so much special treatment!! anyways my clanmates are bullying her into an unhappy relationship i better get in on that’m#idea here but what if ivypool was regarded as like a hero for spying on the dark forest and is seen as a respectable warrior now#(like ffs shes getting considered for deputy)#but dovewing is now the one getting ostracized and tossed aside now that shes not ‘’useful’’ and she didnt ‘risk her life’#and now ivy has it all but she still insists on punishing dovewing for what happened when they were kids#because shes solidified the idea of dove as a whiny entitled spoiled brat who cries to get what she wants#and she absolutely refuses to change that view of her bc she wont let go of her spite#so shes controlling to dove and gets really guilt trippy when dove dares call her out on it#ok im trying not to seem like an ivypool hate blog. im not i think shes interesting and i think her being bitter is fine#my opinion of her has certainly soured over the years (and admittedly bc of the fandom)#also all this talk isnt ‘’omg this is canon this is why she SUCKS!!!!’’ its more ‘’this is probably how id go about it in my rewrite
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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What would you say comes more naturally to you? Writing or drawing?
Id have to say drawing honestly,
but it is pretty even! ive been drawing and writing for as long as i can remember! but i think what has always been my first love is storytelling, and i can do that with either medium <3
#i remember i wrote this one story as a kid#about a girl who got turned into a tree by an evil magician#and then stayed as a tree for hundreds of years#and then ended up having a tree house built on her#and this other kid came and they hung out together#and the kid didnt know she was a person#he was just really lonely lol#but she could do little things like move her branchs and stuff#and blah blah blah she protects him from bullys#and then he moves away#and she uses magic#(which she has now)#to teleport the whole tree to his new backgarden#and i think thats as far as i got#and the whole time i spelt father as farther#because i had terrible spelling#the end#asks#anon asks#jelly talks
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some of yall care more about ai than actual creeps and bigots in this community lol. like I get it, ai fuckin sucks, but god yall pick and choose the absolute pettiest subjects and easiest targets like crazy. every time I see something making its rounds on here it's always the most popular & inoffensive regurgitated opinions, usually with side shady comments against ppl u dislike that u think are easy to dogpile on or are going thru tough times aka are more vulnerable, bc ya always choose the path of least resistance as the only time you use ur voices. it's real easy to fight when u know ur gonna have plenty of backup, & the bad actors u inspire to spew in others' inboxes but don't have to take accountability for is just a fun bonus right? i mean god forbid yall actually say something when it aint some basic barely important take thats gonna get ya brownie points with some simblr u salviate over or a bunch of anons fluffing ya up. yall wannabe saviors wouldn't last a second with a strong opinion that don't line up with what's "safe" to say. like maybe it's the tism but I swear it's so easy to see when yall are either a) tryna make yourself feel/look good in one big circlejerk or b) shamelessly use a cause in order to attack someone ya didn't like anyway. i mean its been the same tactics since 2017 aint ya tired? like don't yall ever feel the urge to smell fresh air cos...
#ceci speaks#nonsims#text#negative#gif warning#im so glad im barely active cos every time i open this app i see someone saying something stupid#like fuck ai fr i aint about it#but when i see ppl ignoring bigotry an ppl creepy around kids but go hogwild against ai#it all seems kinda shallow ya know#its the hypocrisy for me#thats all#mind im cynical cos i dont trust ppl no more but still#its a lil exhausting to see the same ppl only talk about important shit when it serves a purpose for another motive#also these days the ppl with 'callout' posts are some a the most weak willed weirdos that wouldnt last 1 second on the other side#its always them savior types that act like poc's heroes then cry yt women tears when criticized over literally anything#i bet every poc reading these tags just thought of someone specific didnt ya lmfao#theres quite a few of them and its exhaustingggg#it really is true that some of yall just got the mentality of middle school bullies#stop acting like ur saving the world when ur really just bored#anyways thats my rant for today bye ahsjkd#ill be back for sims related stuff later
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These two lines really make me feel like Susie is only a bully for, let's say, survival reasons. But that's as coherent as i can get so i'm going to ramble the rest of my thoughts on the tags.
#luly talks#FIRST AND FOREMOST LOOK AWAY DONT LOOK AT JOEY'S ICON KUJHNUYHGB i didnt feel like editing ok. nor finding other screenshtos#anyway that aside.#if you think of her parallels with King it kind of reinforces it bc king is as bitter and violent as he is bc he was betrayed and abandoned#and what does susie do when she feels like her at that moment only friend lancer has decided to betray her? she turns bitter and violent#(rip to lancer my man keeps getting his ass kicked to next week someone get these ppl therapy 😭😭)#this all could also be like. turned grimmer if you think susie has a home but it just fucking sucks#bc she's just like me fr and i know living with someone that hates you makes you hate everything too#but there's also the possibility of her being bullied and again shitty family not doing anything for her#some theorize she came from a mostly human place so that's a reason why she'd easily get targeted#and in school her situation is pretty Bad bc she didnt do jack shit but everyone instantly hated her#really reinforcing what she says to kris about your choices not mattering#(btw isnt it fucking hilarious that so many people project on kris even and obviously us too? protagonist curse is strong)#anyway its lovely that she got to see there's more to this gay earth than pain and agony and stuff. heart < 3#deltarune#susie deltarune
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jo the second he finds out masato's a little zesty
#not rgg#but if we try it can be#things kiryu would say if rgg allowed slurs#gona start a collection i got that kiryu You're Transgender? pic an now this#snap chats#i just needed an excuse to talk about this episode because HELP ME i didnt think this would be a theme in my fishermen jdrama#quick aside but its related the end theme for this show has literally no right to be so good oh my god.....#i'm gonna start episode 7 of First Penguin tomorrow probably since im gonna hang with my bro the rest of the night#but this episode (ep 6) is giving me a stroke#so for context. or just a lil background. tsutsumi's character in this is an old fisherman named hiro#and he's the most wish-washy bastard i ever seen in my life sometimes i want to strangle him#it's really funny though because he'll be so aggressive towards one thing but then the next after a lil convincing he's just Yeah Ok#funniest shit. anyways. Context Time#like ten minutes before this scene in the same episode he finds out his son's gay#WHICH. HAD ME IN A CHOKEHOLD CAUSE I DIDNT THINK THAT WOULD BE A THING#but anyway As Expected he has a fit over it because My Son This Is A Fisher Village Everyone Gonna Bully Your Ass#but then he talks with the female lead Iwasaki My Queen for like. five minutes and is pretty much over it a day later#and THEN THIS happens Another day later and. im sorry it had me laughing i dont know why#LIKE AGAIN IT'S BECAUSE HE'S SO WISHY WASHY BUT ALSO HE JUST STRAIGHT SOCKS A GUY#cause mate was saying slurs and all. his anti-homophobia arc we love to see it dude said Im No Longer Homophobic#ok bye we have pink pineapple and i wanna eat the pink fruit
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I'm so tired and I want to sleep but I can't because my brain has decided to remind me of every single bad thing to happen in my life ever
#(dont read the tags if you dont wanna see some examples)#realizing my granma is verbally abusive by her telling me ill die alone and unloved simply bc i didnt want to talk to her?#check!#almost losing my best friend to suicise?#being bullied in 2 out of three schools ive been to where the teachers did fuck all to help?#being overstimulated to the point of crying & neglected by a 'special needs class' that completely failed me in every aspect?#check!!#my special aids teacher (or wtv its called) telling me to go back to math class after a meeting with the school and my FUCKING THERAPIST#SPECIFICALLY ABOUT HOW STRESSFUL AND BAD FOR ME SEVERAL OF THE CLASSES ARE#PARTICULARLY MATH#i didnt even know she was supposed to aid me with anything!#i only ever saw her in a few classes#ya know#THE ONES SHE TEACHES#ugh#listen my life is hardly the worst#im fortunate in many aspects and im not gonna claim i have some big traumas or anything like that#but my life really sucks sometimes#even right now my life is almost completely stagnant#i havent been able to attend school for two fucking years and i quite literally only have consistent social interactions with my family#ya know. the people i live with. and who i see everyday.#my best friend of like fucking#7 years or something#ended our friendship months ago (amicably but still)#leaving my completely alone#ugh. sorry my heads a mess and im so so so tired. of everything. i just want to sleep and have my brain shut tf up#vent#personal
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it was so not the point of mash and would have been jarring tbh but like rn i'm wishing father mulcahy had actually talked about religion in more than just little quips. girl what are your thoughts and what things do you like to focus on. btw
#thinking abiut this rn because i was wondering if theres any particular saints he likes but i think it was kicked off by when i was thinkin#g earlier today about. well i was thinking about heroes again. specifically about the men he grew up around and didnt want to be like and t#he places he looked to for the kind of man he did want to be (reading plato; what he saw of gentleman joe cavanaugh)#and i was thinking about the ways he differed from the other kids (who bullied him) and the kind of kid his dad wanted him to be (to me the#subtext in emphasising how much he used to sit inside reading directly before talking about going to the match with his dad is that his dad#kind of dragged him along and wanted him to be into boxing instead)#and so i was thinking about all that and in listing the plato thing and the boxing match thing. i thought about jesus and how like the chr#istian bible descibes him as gentle and kind and patient and whatnot. and how he fits into that list and like obviously one assumes he is a#role model for mulcahy. lol. but the show doesnt really go there bc thats just not the tone its not what the show is#(not complaining about that it would most likely be done sooo obnoxiously and like its literally not what i want to see on tv)#and then i was wondering about when his religion became really important for him. like given what he seems to feel about his family#and how much he doesnt talk about them. i would assume its a connection he more or less found/established as independent from them#which leads me to think of it as either something he got into later or something which was a refuge for him as a kid.#and like ive thought before about how the things he mentions in heroes Dont have to do with catholicism. and maybe thats just bc it wasn't#part of the story. or maybe its because he just wasnt really looking there for guidance and hope at that point#anyway i dont have answers to any of these questions i was simply turning them over in my head like smooth pebbles in my mouth#me.txt#mashposting#oh i got soo distracted here but ALSO the reason i was thinking about it when i made thsi post is bc i was wondering what stained glass he#likes Lol#for potential use in a joke post i might make
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it happened again 😭
Skgjfh this took me so long to understand because I thought this was tumblr, I've literally never seen reddit on light mode before
Also skfkfj uh oh I bet the comments are full of people saying this isn't synesthesia and that i need to stop diagnosing people like on here 🤦♂️
#synesthesia is a self diagnosable brain difference. not a treatable condition or something#i cant even fathom a way in which someone falsely claiming to have synesthesia could be harmful#unless they spread misinformation but like. probably not since theres already very little info#if you did that youd just look like a dummy and embarrass yourself#idk i just remember when i discovered i had it and it was fun and it made me really happy to have a word for it#i just want people who didnt know before to have a word for it#especially important if you ever tell other people about it since some people may bully you if they dont understand it#so knowing what it is can either 1) give you a way to explain to others what it is or#2) it can (sadly) tell you what exactly it is about you thats abnormal so you dont talk about it anymore#for example i would just randomly say stuff like 'this song sounds pink' because i thought everyone had that association#but nope. they called me a freak. which to be fair isnt wromg but also ouch
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people who talk about masking are really interesting to me because like. i think i tried to mask but i certainly did not succeed. teach me your ways
#i hear people talk about their experiences and say they learned to mask and that helped them socially#but for me it just#didnt work#i never was really able to make friends#until i found some other neurodivergents#like i tried to be normal#i figured out what other people were interested in and tried to enjoy it too#but nobody thought i was more normal for doing that#i grew up just feeling like a freak#i would make friends for maybe a few months#and then as soon as i started talking about my hyperfixations they wouldnt want to talk to me anymore#i would have emotional outbursts so people purposefully tried to set me off#when i ignored them it got worse and when i responded i got in trouble#i guess it was bullying but i thought it was my fault. like oh im oversensitive stop overreacting#even when people would physically hurt me i blamed myself for being weird#my first friend who lasted was my neighbor#she made me read warrior cats and i didnt like the book but i loved the people online talking about it#and thats how i became really interested in art and writing#and then i finally had something people liked about me#i wasnt good at being a person but i was good at art#it was the one thing people couldnt make fun of me fore#so i got super into art to the point where it was all i did#i spent all day every day drawing#i stopped trying to socialize and just started drawing during school#yknow now that im thinking about it i dont think it was normal to be suicidal by age 8#im not looking for pity here i just felt like talking since ive been thinking about stuff#oh yeah btw since this reminds me sorry if i respond weirdly to compliments i just assume everything is meant as an insult#also if you call my name irl unless i recognize your voice i will avoid you at all costs#sorry for such a venty post hbweggwe#i didnt mean to go on this rant in the tags and like. maybe this is oversharing but ive never gotten a chance to talk about it before
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two different times in middle school a (undiagnosed autistic) guy gave me a stuffed animal to profess his undying love and my friends were all like ew no he's weird don't take it but i had such a weakness for stuffed animals that i didn't care if it smelled like cigarette smoke and came with a guy following me to class for two months. in hindsight i do not regret these decisions.
#one is a black bear who i have put a little hat on#another is a little dog with a patch on its eye#i was like one bad week away from becoming that guy at any given point so i just didnt give a shit#think most of the kids who were like that in middle school had undiagnosed mental health shit or a really shitty home life or both#lotta ppl with like evangelical parents who ignored their extremely obvious autism/adhd or like homeless kids living in a shelter#i was weird but like in a more palpatable way. i showered regularly and all that i just like#came to school crying half the time n froze in social situations and had panic attacks in the bathroom and yelled at people about politics#but i also like. had friends. was definitely the one they all made fun of/ignored when other ppl mocked but they usually were nice to me#ultimately glad i made new friends later but they were prolly the best case scenario for like not getting bullied as much#anyway. yeah. i love those stuffies n i wish id had the courage and social skills to talk to those guys back then#by and large kids like that were nice just had bad social skills#were a couple who were creepy fr (one guy stalked me and tried to like physically trap me all the time to talk to him)#but mostly just. normal levels of weird. they always had a crush on me for my ramona flowers manic pixie dream girl allure#just unfortunate for them that the very thought of a romantic relationship esp w a guy made me start hyperventilating
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