#i didnt mean to go on this rant in the tags and like. maybe this is oversharing but ive never gotten a chance to talk about it before

[thebigqueer]

2 years ago i fucked up a friendship w a girl (that im pretty sure i was in love with). to this day i think of her and sometimes when i see her on the street i just wanna cry. i understand your plight very much.

yeahhh man im sorry to hear that!!! it genuinely fucking sucks and i would never wish this upon anyone. cuz like it makes you fully think about all the what ifs and i genuilnely dont think ill ever find someone like her again

[hauntingblue]

Justice for jolyne wdym emporio defeated pucci

[bbq-potato-chip]

unpopular opinion takasugi is boring esp after the shogun assasination arc im sorry i just dont like him

[hyperfixated-homo]

not rlly that proud of this but. littol bloo sketch

[lesbianraskolnikov]

my friend got me talking about danganronpa to explain wtf happens and stuff about the ultimate imposter and having to recount everything was ..hmmm... I think its forever funny at the time i was so aspiring to be an animator it was part of my whole Thing i think my self insert WAS an animator if he wasnt 'shsl' and naturally was with the imposter. And we for so long did not think we'd get anymore of the sdr2 guys. no anime no resolution nothing. But then we get a prequel and the imposters closest friend and probably gay lover was the SHSL animator. unfortunately he had to be annoying and cause the ultimate despair but still funny. to me. Because i dont think anyone else is loving the imposter like I Did.

Also remembering the imposter was a complete orphan and him going 'Well i have no other choice but to impersonate people. I hate it but its out of my hands' OKAY.

[freebooter4ever]

Alright i googled intentionally negative reviews of the book and yeah it sounds like the sexualization of the dude's youth only gets worse in even more descriptive ways so im forcing myself to quit the book here :/ honestly i didnt expect to be so triggered by the damn thing. The synopsis and 90% of the reviews online are so positive: they talk about the main female character as this empowered art gallary owner who jet sets to festivals and biennales and the pop star dude kinda tags along. It sounded exciting and fun and kinda a tables turned version of nicole and steve's jet setting romance. And i am all too aware of the hostile art world that the main character has established herself in and i was excited to revisit that.

Absolutely none of that happened. Instead it was gross and triggering and frankly just sad :( im disappointed, lol. Especially because so many of my favorite male celebrities are in or were in this kind of age gap relationship. Steve and nicole: 14 yrs? Justin and ally: 12 or 13? Rami hasnt dated anyone less than 10 years younger than him since he was like 35 or something. I remember when taylor started dating hiddles and how odd it felt because i myself felt too young for hiddles. Diego and suki were a 12 years difference or something. And yikes i still remember when norman was dating that 19 year old in his 40s (thank GOD for diane lmao). Like there is definitely a trend. It is noticable. And i absolutely do not think those relationships were absuive - they happened when the women were well established in their 20s. So, i dunno, it would have been nice to read about the ages flipped in a way that was truly a romance instead of an age and youth obsessed confidence boost for the older woman. It makes me sad.

im listening to the book version of the anne hathawa*y rom com and it is even worse, my goodness, this female main character is a self obsessed elitist snob o.O

she also extremely fetishizes the male lead's youth in the same way my abusive ex did that is grossing me out. she talks about how beautiful he is with his smooth skin over and over. they have zero things in common beyond sex. dude run away from this woman. if she is only with you because of your tight skin and quick refractory period.... RUN.

like it would be one thing to read an age difference book where it truly was a meeting of hearts and minds and falling in love... but this aint it. :( i wanted a book that gave me hope about falling in love in my 40s since i squandered my 20s (abusive idiot), and my 30s (workaholic, unemployed). instead this is just squicking me out and making me never want to touch anyone else ever again -_-

[xazse]

Hello! I'm a new reader and I fr love your writing, especially the scara x bunny girl!! Please need more🥺

Maybe when bunny girl got in heat while scaramouche is on a business trip. She kept touching herself but she can't cum. The best she can do probably is hump the stuffed toy scara got for her so she calls scara. However, scara kept on ranting about his day, making bunny needier so she continues her shenanigans while scara is talking. He catches her eventually and punishes her. You can be creative with it.

(I can't really depict scenarios I'm so sorry shshshshshh)

SCARAMOUCHE X BUNNYGIRL!READER

Notes: HI IM SORRY THIS IS SHORT I DIDNT WANT YOU TO THINK I WAS LIKE IGNORING YOU ITS JUST BEEN IVE BEEN IN A WRITING BLOCK SORTA 😭 I’m sorry I didn’t exactly follow the prompt I just wanted to get this out to you, again I’m extremely sorry for the lateness.

I’m so happy you love my writing and our cute bunny girl reader and scars

Pairings: Scaramouche x BunnyGirl!Reader

Tags: Humping, Scara being mean and bossy, just really filthy, hybrid!reader, Fem!Reader, NOT PROOFREAD

It’s been pure torture for you, your body feels like it’s constantly on fire and like you’re carrying a heavy weight as you go from room to room smelling various things Scara owns whilst he’s on his trip. He left you because the doctor assured that your heat wouldn’t come for at least another two weeks, he couldn’t have been more wrong.

The only things keeping you comforted and relieving your body is the stuffed animals that you insist stay on the bed when you and Scara are sleeping, he despises the things but keep them as to not upset you. So they things are filled with his scent, his lavender hair wash and woody smell lingers. You can’t help but inhale the scent in the plushies every so often.

You’ve already called him and told him about how it came earlier and the sneer that came upon his face did nothing but make you twitch, you know he’s enjoying how you’ve been suffering, he is ultimately getting off on the fact that you can’t have his cock to fill you up, it’s so frustrating but he looks so good while scolding you on how you did this on purpose, even though you literally can’t control when your heat decides to come.

One night you’re tossing and turning, when your heat finally hits you full on, moans slip from your lips as your clit throbs with need, you get a whiff of Scara again in the stuffed animal you’re currently whining into, and instantly your horny mind shifts to dirty thoughts, thoughts of his long cock battering your sensitive walls whilst he groans in your ear.

A few moments later you’re dragging your whole cunt against the poor stuffed animal, you feel bad but your hips won’t allow you to stop, won’t let you stop feeling that slight drum in your little clit. You reach your fingers down to add a little more stimulation to find your completely soaked. By now you should’ve cum, but you’re left whining into the pillows as you keep trying to hump away. His smell isn’t nearly enough your heady head deems.

You successfully managed to grab the phone and call Scara, already begging him to accept the face-call. He does and props his phone up so you can see him completely in his element, buried in paperwork with a scowl on his face, so pretty. He’s already ranting about how he hates this place and all the people in it, angry about the annoying escorts they keep sending to his room that he’s meant to fuck, he’s already said he wants nothing to do with them because they think he’ll eventually change his mind.

His eyes glide to the camera, seeing you flushed and naked? He can only see your face and shoulders.

“Are you clothed woman?” He says while closely inspecting the camera again.

Did he completely forget about the fact that you’re literally in heat?

He laughs a little and gets up, the lights in whatever room he’s in goes dark and you’re graced by his appearance again.

“What are you up to bunny?” He questions, you respond with a slight mumble under your breath but the mumble comes out too breathy. The only thing lighting up his face is the lamp by his side, it gives his skin a pretty golden gleam and that makes your cunt twitch.

“I’d forgotten about your little issue, m’sorry, do you want my help? Poor thing.” He’s doing that fake voice where it’s filled with concern but once again hes getting off on your suffering but that spurs you on too.

You hear some slight shuffling before the camera is moved downwards, where you can still see his face until his thick cock is seen, he’s fully hard: even from your conversation earlier he had been thinking and waiting for you to call him. He starts slow when he strokes himself, precise hands slide up and down while he maintains eye contact with you. You feel weird, a good weird.

“Nu, uh, bunny, don’t you dare, keep doing what you were doing before” he manages to get out inbetween stuttered breathing. He knows you were about to touch yourself using your fingers, but no he wants you to keep humping your stuffed animal.

“Won’t work, Kuni” you whine out, god he squeezes his tip, he loves when you get like this but he won’t tolerate you disobeying. “Do as I say” he gives no room for arguments with his sharp tone. Your ears deflate but you do as you’re told and start gliding your messy cunt back and forth. Scara seems pleased to see you further ruin yourself: you can see him start stroking himself faster, saying your name over and over through clenched teeth, calling you a good bunny for listening so well to him.

He tells you to show the mess you’ve made, you don’t protest as you shift to sit up and spread your legs in front of the camera, you really are dripping. He fantasizes about just how good you’ll feel wrapped around him, how he’s going to make you cum so many times on his fingers then you’ll be able to have his cock. Your fingers trail down, he’s about to scold you but you use your fingertips to pry your pussy so he can really get a full view.

Loud moans slip from his lips as his balls tighten hard, and he’s cumming with thick spurts. You don’t hear a few words but you do make out how he’ll be back shortly.

[eyes-of-rock]

You know what fuck it. I didn't want to deal with the hate for this, but I feel it must be said. So, as some of my older followers might know, I used to be a big Mr. BIG and Billy Sheehan fan. If you haven't noticed, I have stopped talking about them. So here’s why. For one, Billy Sheehan is a Scientologist. He's like a firm believer to the point he argued with people about it. You can believe whatever you want, but when it's a fucked up cult, I draw the line. What's so funny about this is that the fandom doesn't discuss it. They act like it's not a thing or don't know. At first, I ignored it because he seemed like a good guy, and I could give the benefit of the doubt. Plus, everyone always talks about how nice he is to fans and whatnot. Well, I shouldn't have ignored that red flag. He messaged me and asked me to remove my profile photo on my fan account because it was of him. Now, keep in mind I would understand if I was pretending to be him or something, but it was VERY obvious it was not him. Like I have my name listed on the profile and my username is my username. Its got no connection to him aside from the pfp (at the time) and stuff I posted of him on the account as a fan. Like go look at my Instagram you'll see what I mean. Plus I know of other people who use his photos. Mind you these people have kissed his ass a lot. In fact he tagged one of them in a gift they gave him. So I don't know it just pissed me off, he came off as a cunt to me. Listen maybe I'm insane but if someone was big enough of a fan of me to use me as pdf i’d feel flattered. The whole thing pissed off and it felt like he was playing favourites to people who can afford to see him. Anyway that's my rant on this. I just didnt know if people would see my side of this so I kept my mouth shut but whatever I don't even care anymore.

[littlesliceofimmortality]

hey henry i was going through ur circus au tag and i was wondering do u have any lore for this specific au??? im VERY curious i really like the designs esp mingus and norm (worlds most predictable phrase) :-)

HII MICH :-) smile! my circus au started as "lol wouldnt it be funny if cowboys instead of clowns were a separate species & went extinct". & now it makes me sick

ITS NOT EVENthat much different than the canon story ingame!!!! its just flashier & showy-er & LOUD. mingus demands attention, especially. her being a lioness does in fact mean callum had a pet lion. Alot wrong with him

she had callums ringleader outfit retailored to fit her, fun fact! (shes VERY large, almost scraping 7ft). its different cloth though & the gold studs had to be replaced & coattails needed lengthening & etc... so maybe it really isnt the same

(GINGIs made up of the same cloth as callum, however! the original CIRCUS tent, with polka dots and all !!! and who am i to argue that callum didnt embody the entire city of dialtown?) (mingus is very mad about this fact & actively denounces it)

rather than living on the outskirts of town, norm was found as a lone ranger out in the open prairies of Wisconsin (i cant elaborate here. thats another rant & theres too many parenthesis already) . instead of being immediately executed As is normal procedure, mingus recognizes him as a fragment of history & essentially forces him to join the ragtag rundown circus she runs

since dialtown is already a group of misfits, not many of the cast oogled at the new rodeo clown (it was a HUGE fight on what he'd "star as", & mingus finally relented to him keeping the cowboy hat & paper bag) (if he acts up she threatens to categorize him as a "freak show" and shred his bag)

mingus doesnt treat him as a thing with feelings alot of the time & moreso a thing to help get her pawpaw back. since right now hes. kind of a statue. shes opened up & put back together his head so many times & had to repair him & ward off rust so often that now ALL of his head is golden. not patchworked, but rather, polished

the city is only KNOWN as a city & NOT a travelling circus anymore is because of this, actually. its too much work to transport callum around in the state he is. so mingus dug her heels in & hammered in the tent poles hard. immovable force. not going anywhere til she can step down & let her pawpaw lead again

he was objectively better at it, anyhow. she knows this but WILL bite you if you say it to her face. callum was a magician too, after all! had tricks up his sleeve. much sneakier when hes pulling strings behind the curtains. he had his "assistant" too (aka the other half of the entire show) , which mingus TRIES to replicate, which... i love tango, but nobody can compare to marla

all of this is very upsetting to norm. everything about it, really. worst anyones ever done it. however hes just as stubborn as mingus and will NOT be used as a tool! (thats the ONLY reason, trust) (theres totally nothing about how he'd rather idolize crown in his mind & is a little terrified of whatd happen if he came back & saw the state of everything)

[sockatoothewafflebird]

arcane spoiler alert!!! you should def block the #arcane spoilers tag but just to be safe i'll put the bingo card results under the cut just in case. also a really long caitvi rant because FUCK FUCK FUCK pardon the swearing BUT OH MY GOD

okay i meant to mark the "vander comes back" one as a "?" because of the teaser for next saturday. if you didnt watch it PLEASPELAPlespldles anyway yeah let's go

no bingos yet of course. but holy fucking shit we got caitvi kiss, caitvi communicate healthily, AND cativi divorce arc all in the first three episodes?!?!! and you expect me to SLEEP after this???? yeah no you get oages and oages of me ranting about how tragically beautifully written these fucking LESBIANS are...

the scene where??? where caitlyn almost shoots jinx but vi stops her? and then after that they get stuck and have to go up the ladder. and its like

vi: that was a CHILD.

cait: i thought you were different.

i have so much to say omfg. buckle up.

arcane is a show that always, always gets facial expressions perfectly. in season one you can see that all of the enforcers and topsiders look down on the zaunites like they're bugs underneath them. treat them like it, too. you can see that this hatred runs deep.

caitlyn, though, has always looked at them like they're actual people. she's always looked them in the eye, looked at them with warmth and care as if she was never raised to think otherwise. she hugs them, thanks them, shows them the same kindness she would anyone despite her wealthy background.

in the "breakup" scene, cait kicks vi down like how you would expect an enforcer to. with no consideration, no remorse. when vi is on the ground caitlyn looks at the poor woman like she's a cockroach that snuck into the kitchen.

something fucking broke in cait after her mom died, and i think that's going to RUIN them for a long time. now that cait is under the control of ambessa she isn't going to be able to see her boo for a while. a long while. she'll just have to sit with the fact that she did the one thing she promised she wouldn't.

and i have something else to say about vi.

vi screamed and grunted way too loud for a hit like that. and we all know it, but i have to point it out, because vi takes metal fists to the face like they're pillows. she's so used to being battered and bruised it's like a game to her.

that jab to the gut hurt her so bad because it was really a stake to the heart.

she fell to the ground not because of physical force- this woman fell down a hundred feet with a deep stab wound and kept walking- it was because she couldn't physically handle how painful it was that cait would treat her like that. cait promised she wouldn't change in the very same episode and she fucking did. there's no coming back from that unless cait somehow manages to perform a fucking miracle and make it up to her.

i think cait being so brutal at the end only further solidifies the fact that prejudice and privilege stain the veins of piltover and zaun no matter how hard you try to remove it. even caitlyn, the sapphic golden girl who got to see exactly how hard zaun has it, has that venom in her bones. she couldn't get rid of it even when she literally kissed a zaunite and still ended up looking down on her like she was scum.

maybe they are oil and water, after all. but i baked brownies earlier tonight and the vegetable oil and water mixed together to make the wet ingredients of the batter, and those brownies tasted delicious. they need to learn how to work together despite their differences, their flaws, their impossibilities. even if it means being thrown into an oven together.

the venom in piltover runs deep. and it will probably take war to make it known. war being the oven in this metaphor if it wasn't clear.

anyway that's all,, im gonna sleep now,... wish me luck for when i inevitably wake up and break down from how fucking beautifully tragic arcane is

ALSO THE MUSIC IS SO FUCKING FIRE PLEASE THEY DID NOT HAVE TO COOK SO HARD. or should i say... bake... because the brownie metaphor... yeah i'll be here all night (not really cause im going to sleep but ykwim)

[sweetshelluvaau]

wait when was fizz ooc /gen

like tbf we didnt know a lot about him off-stage before oops so even tho he wasnt what he expected i wouldnt necessarily say it was ooc

same for ozzie

Maybe ooc isn't exactly the right term (at least in Oops case, the Mammon episode, oh he was completely ooc imho. I explained my thoughts about this here) more than how the narrative has everyone in the show be like 'isn't Stolas great?' and just defending him like Fizz you barely even know the guy! That or the writers fear that they can't write an abuse victim which happens to also be a horrible person. They have to be the 'prefect victim'. They took Fizz's bite away in the Mammon episode where he couldn't stand up for himself let alone have these insecurities he didn't have before out of no where?

Fizz not being able to protect himself physically? Okay I can buy that he's not a fighter. Fizz walking on eggshells around Mammon? Completely understandable being he's both his idol and his boss. But I'm sorry he wouldn't have sit there and take Glitz and Glam insults without snapping back? He'd also chew out that obsessed fan as well (which would also show how he grew from a timid teenager to a Snarky Shit). Yeah he may get a word from Mr. Christmas Tree after for the fan thing, but with G&G? C'mon, a little drama is great entertainment Mammon would eat that shit up if it means more view and money.

However with the case of Oz: He was written as if he was a complete idiot just to make Stolas look better in Oops. Yeah thankfully he didn't kiss Stolas' ass and seems to not like the guy (and I know Viv is gonna recon that in the future because god forbid we have a character that isn't a villain not like Stolas) but the whole thing with the lawyer and and Ozzie making really rash decisions (I mean yes he's hot headed but he's not stupid) and really Stolas NOT needing to be there.

Also saw someone in the critical tag mention this today: I'm sorry, Ozzie would sense something is up with Stolas and his 'feelings' for Blitzo. We had this ham fisted consent speech that went over owl boys head and you're telling me a man who's lived for thousands of years and has most likely dealt with some of the worst of humanity and demons Earth and Hell have to offer isn't gonna sense any red flags? And considering how much he hates people like Mammon, I'm sure plenty of the Ars Goetia aren't any better.

In other words Ozzie could smell bullshit from a mile away.

Also I'm ranting about this again for the hundredth time but Ozzie wouldn't sit around listening to some lawyer, he'd go to rescue Fizz himself. The guy can teleport anyways so I'm sure he can easily sneak into Crimson's compound and lay down the smack down like it's no one business because he's a SIn for crying out loud! And maybe after seeing Blitzo keeping Fizz safe and having that conversation with Stolas, Oz would likely just give Blitzo the crystal as a thank you suppose to giving to Stolas to give it Blitzo being again, he's picking up bad vibes.

That or have Fizz deliver it at a later date. After all, it was Fizz who said he 'earned it' and who's word do you think Ozzie is going to take to heart? It sure ain't Hooters.

That being said I'd also blame the fact that the same character can act one way in another episode and then have a completely different personality in the next if it means fitting the narrative. No one character is consistent and can change if it means making a character look better or again, fits the narrative of that said episode. What did they have some character development the last few episodes ago? Never mind that we're back to their old self or better yet, they have a completely new personality all together the fuck?

Honestly, I'm kinda drained from making the same agreements all time. All I wanted was a silly demon show about some silly demon assassins, not whatever the fuck we got now. At this point I just want to focus mostly my AU and other projects.

[vampire-sugar]

Again not at all related to QOTD but related to stuff i see under the tags that’s been bothering me a lot. I was originally gonna send this as an ask but it might potentially not get answered so just gonna post. It’s in relation to this answered ask which i sent and just wanted to be more clear in what i meant. https://www.tumblr.com/nalyra-dreaming/742009291203035136/hey-i-originally-sent-this-ask-to-virginia-bc-a

@nalyra-dreaming Thanks for answering, and I’m gonna come off anon bc I think it’s more transparent that way, only was on anon bc didnt want to be potentially blocked and not see a response. Just wanna clear some things up. I did not read all the books, just the first couple and working my way up, but im aware of what happens bc idc ab spoilers etc. Also I like Loustat, i like jam I listen to the podcasts read the interviews etc etc so im aware of the things u might think that I’m not aware of. I know the characters are still the same, I know we’re gonna get revisits and personally I’m excited for them I love shows/movies where there’s a shift in perspective I think it’s so fun. However I do think they gotta be careful when doing the revisits bc some things would be problematic/racist, and I have read your rant which is why I say that you agree w this. You also agree with this in your response. What I’m confused about thooo is the contradiction in both your rant and your response to me where you say that “ if I‘m going to see anyone scream “bad writing“ or “Louis being made a liar or the memories revisited/changed is racism“ when the changes will hit I‘m just gonna block you.” And then say that it has nothing to do with the problematic directions the show could take to the revisits “because there are many traps there to consider because of the racial change”. And then say “but it’s not bad writing, or racism, if and when these things happen”. I don’t understand, what is it then? Or maybe we disagree about what would actually be a problematic way to revisit ep5? Would something have to be super explicitly racist for it to be considered problematic or bad?

As for listening to the Black cast and creators, I do and I agree with them as well? Jacob says Louis lies and I didn’t need him to say that for me to see it already in s1 like Louis’ lies ab tbe extent in which Claudia resented him, how much he loved Lestat to the point of not being able to kill him etc. I’m literally saying if he lies ab the ABUSE it would be badddd which is why I don’t think they’ll go that way, even if Louis lying ab things is canon (+++ how are things being canon suddenly an argument for why they wouldn’t be bad if adapted in the show??).

And then the other anon saying “why would it be bad if Lily was shady anyone of any race can be a villain” bruhh like what evils could she have committed to deserve death? (stealing and killing from her clients like the prostitutes in the book who lestat feels justified in killing? she’s a Black sex worker in 1910 New Orleans the show opens with Bricks literally being assaulted by a client if she had killed him I would have cheered so idk what would make lily evil enough to have deserved death that’s what i mean by thatt which is also another example of something being canon still being bad)

Also I realize the way I phrased my ask made it seem like I think the making fun of wanting jassad is weird bc it’s mean or something, which is not at all why I think it’s weird. Ppl specifically making fun of wanting to see two poc who are an important pairing in the show be paired in promos as well, that’s the weird part.

And I did not say at all that I think they’re gonna be wholesome bc they are POC, the fuck? Why did you have to do all that when discussing the jassad part of my comment? That’s also very weird. Like I know who Armand is and what he does, that doesn’t mean that I will stop being excited that the ppl playing the part are POC and no longer want to see them on my screen or do promos together…. I’m excited to see all that stuff play outtttttttt….. y am i supposed to only be excited for loustat…..?

As for the comments you got on your fic, I personally did not read your fic but I’m sure you write v well and I’m assuming the comments are super hurtful and unnecessary and things like “kys”, which I find the casual use of in online spaces in general very weird so I’m genuinely sorry that you received that in your inbox. However I’m talking about how even getting just a “hey that’s racist” would also be not a great thing to receive like no one wants to be called that. Getting anything negative at all in the inbox is not great so getting even wilder stuff is very hurtful, I get that, which is why I’m trying hard not to come off in any type of way that would suggest that. People saying I’m tired of this discourse, plz know this is in response to your rant as well as a lot of the asks ab the jassad pairing, not just for discourse’s sake. Personally, I think it’s important and interesting to discuss how changes in certain characters’ races could affect the story moving forward, and I like that you talk ab your theories for how they will adapt s2 that stuff is fun and very fandom like behavior. But when ppl point out that some things won’t work bc of the race (which again u agree w in ur rant + ur response) u talk ab how some fans who say this pair it w hurtful language and then by dismissing the hurtful language you dismiss the notion that the suggestion would be racist or problematic in the first place which is very contradictory. But I guess since I have not read all of Anne Rice’s work my opinion ain’t shit.

[lesbeamofsunshine]

honestly I think it might be some kind of trauma response because the worst times this has ever happened have been in relation to my mormon upbringing* aka during interactions with mormons years after I left the church

i have this embarrassing tendency to laugh in awkward situations. the more awkward the situation the harder I laugh. and, well, today. I'm gonna be honest, that's about the hardest I've ever laughed. and I couldn't stop; it became like a reflex, like the hiccups. so uh. yeah.

[zxmickeyzx]

Mumbattan Cafe Ch.3

Barista! Pavitr x Artist! Miles

Miles came into the cafe for some chai tea, to see his friend Gwen on her shift and make some art while relaxing in the cafe. Instead he got some Barista who looked very annoyed when he tried to order and then became very passionate about ranting to him about how people say chai tea instead of just saying chai. Miles didn't mind him lecturing him on it though.

At least it was from someone so cute.

First ~ Prev ~ Masterlist ~ Next

Miles felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. It felt like his body was in flight or fight mode. Like his mother finding out he skipped class or was late to something important. The cashier looked like he was ready to bury Miles ten feet under and he didn’t know what to do.

Though despite him being very intimidating at the moment it also felt like the cashier was a kitten ready to bite him if he did one more wrong move. 

From past experience he learned there's two options. Don’t say anything at all or play dumb.

“You said ’Chai Tea’?” he says as if Miles said the worst word imaginable.

Miles should've stayed quiet. An easy option that proves to be better than saying anything back to someone who looked ready to pounce on you. Too bad he chose the second option and just blurted out his next words.

“I love Chai Tea.”

The cashier looked even more angry. He looked Miles dead in the eyes, and he swore he saw fire burning in his eyes.

“Chai tea?! 'Chai' means tea, Bro! You're saying 'tea tea!'

Miles' shoulders tensed up and he completely froze. On one hand he wanted to bury himself underground. But at the same time, he didn't mind it? He really did look like a cute angry kitten.

“‘Tea tea!'” He repeated to Miles again. “Would I ask you for a 'coffee coffee' with room for 'cream cream?' It’s not ‘Chai Tea!’ Its just ‘Chai!’ How hard is it for people to just say ‘Chai?!’"

Miles felt his cheeks heat up and bowed his head down a bit in shame. He didnt know thats what he had been saying this entire time whenever he ordered. It also didn't help that people were noticing the commotion. 

“Whats so hard about saying ‘Chai’?! Its less work that saying ‘Chai Tea’! Just call it Chai!  Just ‘Chai’. What is so hard about that?! And you know what else-” 

Then the girl with short dark hair, who he remembers being in the coffee bar, came and interrupted the cashier’s rant by covering his mouth with her hand.

“I am so sorry, sir! He can get a little passionate at times, please don't take it personally” She smiles.  

“Oh! Its no problem! Its my fault for not knowing any better.” Sure he got lectured but at least he knows better now.

He sees her sigh in relief before looking at the cashier, giving him a dead stare that made even miles shudder. “Pavitr maybe you should take your break early”

Pavitr pouts and mumbles something to her he could hear. To which she replies

“Fine, go to the bar. I'll take the customers' orders until Ben gets here. And you will take a break and we will be talking about this later.”

“...Fine.”

He sees Pavitr start on his order, while the other barista turns to him. “I am so sorry again! As an apology we wont charge you for your order and give you a free drink on your next visit.” She takes out a business card with the cafe’s name in it and punches holes in it ten times in a row. A promotion that Miles had seen in other places.

She hands over the card hoping he does return and they don't lose a customer. She smiles at him as he takes the card out of her hands. 

“Thanks. I’ll be sure to come back.” 

The woman lets out an exhale of relief. To the corner he sees her name tag ‘Gayatri’. She must be a manager of some sort. Maybe she knows if Gwen is actually in today. He should ask her.

“Is there anything else I can help you with sir?” Interrupting his train of thought.

He clears his throat. “I was just wondering if Gwen was in today?”

She suddenly gives him a suspicious look. So Miles quickly says something before he looks any weirder for causing a commotion with one employee and asking for another employee.

“We're friends from school! I wanted to know if she would like to hang out later today.”

Gayatri still looked suspicious, before thankfully Gwen appeared just in time. 

“Gwen!” He shouts to her. She turns around before smiling.

“Miles! I was just about to respond to your text! How’d you know I was here?”

 He sighs of relief. Now he wont be seen as some suspicious weirdo.

“Margo told me.”

 She chuckles and shakes her head, “Of course she did. Lemme guess she asked you for help with Mr. O’hara’s class?”

“Yep.” Miles grins.

Gwen walks up to Gayatri and puts her arm around her shoulder. “I see you met my amazing co-worker Gayatri. Have you met Pav yet? You’d love him.”

Gayatri shakes her head. “He did but unfortunately he said the two words”

Gwen's eyes widened as she looked at Miles.

“Dang, he got you? I remember being warned ahead of time about the infamous 'Chai' trigger. And he was doing so well today too. But hey at least he is making your drink, he's the best at it besides his Aunt.”

Before Miles could respond he saw Pavitr leave his drink and food at the pick-up area. He gives both Gayatri and Gwen a smile before saying he can’t wait to try it. 

He gets his order and tries to say thank you but sees that the cute Barista has disappeared. He frowns a bit at a lost opportunity to fix any tension that was caused by their latest interaction but he would probably have to do it another day. He didn’t want to make him uncomfortable so maybe he shouldn't stay here for the day and should just head back to his apartment. 

He could always hang out with Gwen later.  

Deciding to come back another day, he says goodbye to Gayatri and tells Gwen that he would see her later. He walked out of the cafe and took a sip of his ‘Chai’. 

Damn.

It really was amazing. He definitely had to come back soon. Hopefully that cute Barista would be in a better mood and wouldn't mind making his drink again. For now he wont dwell on the interaction and continue on with his day.

As soon as Miles left Pavitr emerged again. After calming down while making the customers drink he felt embarrassed about his outburst. The customer did not deserve that at all. If that customer was at least an asshole he wouldn't feel so bad but the customer was innocent and just unluckily was the straw that broke the camel's back. 

To make matters worse it seemed that the customer knew Gwen. 

He was rude to her friend. That wasn’t a good first impression at all. Maybe he could say sorry if he decided to come back. He was pretty sure Gayatri would give him a free drink on his next visit. Something she came up with if they had to make up a mistake to a customer. 

She came up with the idea after he lectured too many customers. It came in handy but they shouldn't do it so often. He could only pray that his Auntie Maya doesn’t find out. Maybe he could convince Gayatri not to tell her. 

He was so lost in thought that he didnt see Ben clock in for his shift and Gayatri trying to get his attention.

“Pavitr!!” 

He finally looked up at Gayatri. She could see how guilty he felt. 

She sighs.

“I wont tell Auntie Maya. The customer was very understanding, and he is friends with Gwen so he probably will come back, especially when he becomes impressed with your Chai making skills. So when he does apologize to him directly.”

Pavitr looks down a bit.

“I am serious Pavitr. Don't run away when he comes by. Just be your usual joyful self and it’ll be alright!” She gives him a reassuring smile. 

“Alright” He says. “I won't run away and I’ll say sorry.”

She nods. “Good.”

If he’s lucky the guy would just avoid him instead. Gayatri tells him to go officially take a break as Ben has clocked in and Gwen will be taking over Barista duty. So he sits in the backroom and takes a deep breath. Maybe he should've gone to the market with Auntie Maya. At least then he wouldn’t be overthinking how mean he was to some innocent guy.

As he takes his break he tries to put that interaction behind him and focus on being positive for the rest of the day. At the very least he won't be back so soon, no customer in their right mind would come the next day after being yelled at. Maybe he’d come back next week, by then it would be more calm and Pavitr could process how to properly apologize to him.

When he went back to shift he did forget the interaction for a while, and the next day he felt better. Gwen told him not to worry and that her friend was a very forgiving and chill guy. Pavitr just nodded at her. Even if he was that nice he probably wouldn't see him for a while hopefully. And he definitely wouldn't come back right away to a place he just got yelled at. That gave him some sense of relief to not have that confrontation anytime soon. 

That is until later that day he saw the same customer walk in when the cafe was mostly empty. Not only did he come back the next day, he also asked his Auntie Maya for him specifically to make his Chai drink. His Auntie Maya of course saw no problem with his request. She had no idea what he did to this poor customer yesterday. She called Pavitr to help him and take his order. Now he definitely couldn't avoid the confrontation. And conveniently his Auntie had to go get something in the back. So now it's just him and the guy he yelled at.

Pavitr wanted to crawl into a hole and just scream.

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Tagged List:

@ar1-thecat, @marrz-sucks

[graph100]

is it just me or does gamedev youtube kinda suck? like, its all the most generic sounding people making uninteresting indie games and having nothing super interesting to say. like idk, maybe its just me. the only people who i really like are randy and miziziziz, but even some of miziziziz's stuff leans toward generic indie stuff, hes just different enough in attitude and method that i can watch him. everyone else just feels so samey.

nobody's doing anything that feels original. like yeah they all have their great ideas and such, but theres nothing interesting going on.

i have this theory about how we think about our creative projects. as humans, we naturally make categories for things. we do it for everything. it helps us process things. when we make art, we either start with an idea from a category or genre and expand from there, for fit the idea into a category or make something specific of that category. it feels like gamedev youtube is just making things to fit the "game" shaped hole

I kinda feel this way with indie games as a whole. like in the 2000's and 2010's all of the sudden it became super easy for individuals and small teams to make games, and they fucking ran with that. then later on in the 2010's and 2020's we formed this idea of what "indie game" means and started making "indie games", and its dragged innovation to a halt.

maybe im just salty because im super picky with what i like but i seriously think that there is so much more that we could be doing as a whole that a lot of people dont see.

I was watching this video essay about detention (a game by the same people who made that game that got banned because it had whinnie the pooh as xi jinping) and the essayist was talking about games that have similar energy to silent hill. he brought up signalis, and admitted that he thought the game was similarly good, but said that it wasn't as great because it was clear that it was inspired by/a spiritual successor to silent hill, and that detention fit his criteria for "silent hill like game" not because it tried to be silent hill, but because it was just as good as doing the same things as silent hill

this is where i think indie games fall flat; it feels like everyone is trying to make something like another game, instead of doing something new that is also great. I understand that inspiration is one thing, and that not all spiritual successors are bad, but it really leaves a sour taste in my mouth when I can really easily tell what the a game wanted to be, but didnt end up being.

I tried to word that kind of broadly, because not all of the games i dislike try to emulate one game or a specific set of games, but some seem like they try to emulate a certain style of art or game that they cant do.

I just thing that we need to learn to move on from the past and make new things that are great.

Another gripe I have with gamedev youtube is that they come up with game ideas that fit labels. whenever i see a devlog video they always introduce their game as a set of itch.io tags. I know this is good for like publicity or whatever, but their game ideas are entirely based around these boxes that we need to think outside of; labels come second.

Look at doom for example. It's possibly the greatest game of all time. When it came out in 1993, nobody called it like we did now because they didn't have the term "first person shooter". In ahoy's video on what genre is doom, he shows that it was advertised as a virtual reality action game. That term is wayyy worse at describing what doom is, but thats because doom was so different than other games.

rant over (for now)

[tododeku-or-bust]

Tbh the atsv fan "characterization" that pisses me off the most is the Miles Morales Prowler shit. Thats just a 15 year old. Good god. It makes me want to punch a bitch. At least Hobie is punk (even tho like. I still super dont like thag a lot of characterizations of him that seem to rely too much on the fact that a lot of Punk Thingz™️ (namely, drugs and hate for authority) are also antiblack stereotypes and we should be giving benefit of the doubt in these cases)

But Miles Morales is still Miles Morales, even if in a dif universe he's the prowler and his hair's different(? Im ngl im white and idk if it has anything to do with this, but ive seen his hair referenced before as important). I also see a lot of ppl forgetting how Morales was treated after the first movie, that fuckin colored pencil post still makes me mad.

Pissing me tf off. Sorry for mini rant it just seems you are also on this topic rn and none my friends seem that into the spiderverse 😔

Oh the moment I tried to block the Miguel tag (which DIDNT WORK, btw), the Miles G reader stuff showed up and I had instant regret 😭 but I haven't seen much for him outside of that. I'm glad I haven't, now.

Tbh, I wasn't really into Fandom when ITSV came out, so I (gratefully) missed all of the bullshit I heard happen with that one.

What's really pissed me off about Miles' seeming depiction by fandom, at least in the sections I've seen, is...idk if I'm saying this right.... To over simplify him? Like it frustrates me that a movie, both movies, the existence of Miles Morales himself, ALL have to do with themes of race, representation, and belonging. Yes there are plenty of other messages that are important, but all of them connect back to that identity too.

And people are just... Glossing over that. In this desire to go "oh he's so precious"- in what I'm sure is white ppls well-intentioned attempt to not be seen as a racist that doesn't care about Black children- they are still managing to completely ignore how his identity is symbolic in the storytelling. It's colorblindness in a movie where seeing race is essential and if you're gonna ignore it you might as well not even watch it at all bc at its core it's HIS story.

Like yeah, you think he's queer allegory, yeah you recognize how it feels to not belong, how to fight the status quo, fantastic, I love it, are you actually engaging with the race aspect that affects his experience of all of those things? Are you processing that when Rio said he might not be accepted in spaces, just maybe you have brown friends who feel that way in white spaces, fan and otherwise (esp now with affirmative action lmao, but always with Miles in the comics and dealing with fans). It's easy to think a multicultural movie with a Brown antagonist, well it "can't have to do with race" and that's just not true.

That's why people fixating on Hobie mildly disturbs me too; he TOO is a BLACK punk. That makes a difference, in his solidarity and what that meant for Black viewers. Or how they're ignoring Margo altogether despite her crucial role in his escape. Or how they're refusing to engage with Jessica Drew with understanding (you don't have to agree with her! I don't! But to understand where she stands in that spectrum from Hobie to Miguel, she is not nearly as bad as fandom wants to believe; she's actually comparable to Peter B but misogynoir prevents that conversation).

Like I am so happy we are finally entering an era where Black and Brown people are seeing themselves more on screen in roles we've yearned for, I am. But that also means it's time for white people to start engaging with what that means, and that means unlearning and learning.