#i cant even deal with this right now i swear to god

[m00ngbin]

I just saw a Petey the Cat edit to Like Him. This is all too much I can't live like this anymore

[incomprehensiblegiberish]

am i the only one who doesn't see purpose in the cycle of work for more work to do more work so that you can earn more work? why should i fucking try if my only reward is getting more work and maybe a "good job keep working". i am. fucking tired.

[tthoughtdaughter]

bad habits.

pairing: dealer!ellie x reader.

summary: when you were a kid you had always put a pillow or a big stuffed animal between your legs, you honestly felt comfort by it. but tonight you decided it was going to be somebodies head.

warnings: uh widely ellie giving head?, use of drugs, girls kissing 🤯, swearing, a little bit of dacryphilia, pretty self-indulgent i know its weird im sorry — MINORS DNI !!

a/n: just because the strikes ended does not mean you shouldnt stop posting about palestine!

———————

you were helpless, depressed even. being locked up in your dorm for god knows how long. your friends had been nagging you about various parties on campus, you simply just left them on read, not wanting to deal with the aftermath of the party.

it wasnt until now that you had decided to go. not because you wanted to, you were going against your own will.

your friends, isabella, mattie and thea were forcing you out of your dorm because the state you were in right now was just honestly disgusting.

you were packing a bag to go over to isabellas house because they werent letting you stay in that dorm for a minute more, when thea said. “youve been stuck in here for forever, we havent seen you in awhile, we miss you girl.”

you sighed, reaching over to your closet to find an outfit appropriate for tonight. “look i know, things just havent been the best right now.” you didnt bother to look back because you know all thats going to be written on their faces will be pity.

“can you guys help me pick an outfit atleast?” they squeal, marching over to you before yanking you out of their ways.

mattie held up a dress, it was pink, delicate, something you would were on a picnic.

“dude, thats so basic.” isabella called out from the side, rolling her eyes at matties choice.

“i dont wear stuff like this— how would i fucking know?” she huffed.

“calm down guys, why dont we let ms depresso give us an idea of what she wants?” thea shouts over the teo annoyingly loud girls.

“i— depresso? seriously? not even funny.” you roll your eyes before pulling up pinterest on your phone, you always managed to find decent outfits off of the app.

you typed in ‘party outfits aesthetic.’ before you landed on something similar you had in your closet.

the outfit had a mini, mini, mini, mini black skirt paired with a black lettuce-cut, corset bralette looking thingy and just below that, knee-high boots. you admit it, you looked hot as fuck.

“damn girl, if i were gay id definitely hit you up.” way to go isabella, way to go.

“oh please youre totally into girls, youre acting like you dont eye that dina girl everytime we walk around her area on campus.” mattie adds.

isabella did everything in her will power to ignore the comment, but she couldnt help but blush.

the look of approval shot around the room was hilarious and you all burst out into laughter. you really havent felt this good in awhile.

quickly memorising the girl mattie had mentioned before, you could remember she would always be hanging around with someone else.

“hey, any of you know the girl dina hangs with? i cant think of her name.” you think hard, like really hard, you knew the girl was attractive from all the times you had seen her since isabella coincidentally hung there too.

“yeah, her names ellie, i buy from her sometimes. why, you got the hots for her?” thea teases.

“just shut up and give me her insta.” you roll your eyes, playfully shoving the girl as the two others made ‘oooooh’ sounds.

“fine, just give me a second.” thea whips out her phone and starts going through her following. she clicks on a profile and holds the phone up to you so you could get a good look.

her account was private, by the looks of it she had a batman smoking weed profile picture? interesting.. her user was ‘@ellieisawesome327.’

sounds like a name some 5 year old would put on secretly. “oh, interesting.” you couldnt help but giggle, she obviously wasnt the best at using this stuff.”

you pulled out your phone and searched for her user, you didnt follow it just yet, you thought it would be creepy since she didnt know you at all. you simply just kept the name in the search bar, ready for when you actually want to follow her.

———————

a few hours had passed and you all had gotten done up, makeup, hair, outfits, everything you would do before a party.

“whos car we taken’?” mattie asked. you and the others looked at her like she was some idiot.

“theres only one car in the driveway, take a guess numbskull?” thea pointed out, mattie pouted.

“rude.” she huffed. turning around to scroll on tiktok.

you were sitting on the bed, getting comfy since the party wasnt for another hour, when you spotted one of isabellas pillow. you had put it between your legs, you found some comfort in doing that ever since you were a kid, it was a weird and bad habit.

“whatre ya’ doin silly?” isabella pointed out, she sort of new you had this weird habit of putting things between your legs.

“getting comfy, what does it look like?” you roll your eyes, scrolling through your instagram feed.

“if you actually want something between your legs, try and get head tonight.” isabella added. it was a harmless joke, your group had always joked like this. you toned out the muffled giggles in the back thinking if you should actually get laid tonight.

it had been awhile since you had had sex, and it was getting annoying hearing everyones ‘wild’ stories.

you tool the pillow out from between your legs and threw it back into its position it was in before.

“you guys think we should get going? the parties in twenty minutes.” thea said. you all nodded and got up from your positions to march off to the car.

the drive was ten minutes, you put on your group playlist, it was made for roadtrips you guys took every once and awhile. but tonight you just needed to hear something other then their voices.

you were all vibing to the music when it eventually came to a stop. you sighed and got out of the car, shivering as the cold wind hit your very exposed body.

everyone walked in, it wasnt exactly packed, but you hesitated and mattie noticed that.

mattie was the average femme grouped masc. the one to carry around the shopping bags when you went shopping kind of girl. she was sweet, there were times where you had found yourself harmlessly crushing over her. she knew you had a bit of anxiety and offered you some of her meds before leaving but you kindly declined.

now obviously regretting your decision, she gripped onto your hand and squeezed it tight, for reassurance. you smiled and walked in with the others.

———————

it had been 2 hours and the group had split, isa probably off eating dinas face off, mattie chatting with some of the guys from a basketball team she had played against when faking being a guy as a dare, and thea off buying or even selling drugs. you were sat on a dusty old couch, not exactly wasted but definitely not sober.

you hadnt noticed you were sitting next to the girl whos instagram you were stalking earlier. but the realisation hit when you smelt weed from her direction.

she was very obviously eye fucking you, she wasnt even shy about it, it couldve been the weed that was in her system or she was wildly bold.

“hey?” you started off your soon long to be conversation.

“hi.” she was caught off guard when she realised you were talking to her.

“ellie right?” she nodded and you exchanged your name to her, along with numbers. you sat back further into the couch, parting your legs a little giving her a slight view of what was under you skirt. you enjoyed the fact that she was looking. a little smirk appeared on your face and she didnt notice it.

“my friend thea buys from you right?” she snapped her head up to look into your eyes. you noticed the green in her eyes under the blue hue of the lights in the room. she nodded,

“yeah why? wanna buy from me?” you shook your head.

“kinda tight on money right now, i would though.” you sighed, resting your head on your hand.

she thought for a minute. “ill share a blunt with you, only coz’ youre cute.” she winked and you blushed.

“oh, thanks..” you stare off awkwardly waiting for her to light it, she was wondering if she made you uncomfortable.

“s—sorry, didnt mean to make you uncomfortable.” you shook your head a smiled before she handed you the joint.

you took a puff and handed it back to her, waiting a bit before exhaling. you noticed she was manspreading. then you noticed she didnt quite look like any other girls that were at the party, very masculine. is she lesbian? no surely not, maybe she just likes being comfortable.

ellie was wearing a worn-out jacket, joels. she wore it everywhere she went.

she caught you staring at the position she was in, fighting the urge to spread them further. you noticed she was holding back from something and looked up at her, oh shit she caught you.

a shit eating grin was plastered on her face. “you ‘kay?” she asked, the same smug expression written all over her face.

you nodded and took the blunt out of her hand. you were blushing under the dim lights in the corner, the rest of the place was filled with colourful lights changing every second.

she started blushing too, she didnt know why. you looked up to her with parted lips. the high kind of kicking in now.

“can i.. kiss you?” you asked softly. you regretted that so hard, fuck fuck fuck she probably doesnt like girls..

she moved closer, draping a hand over your shoulder. “thought youd never ask.” she smirked before smashing her lips onto yours.

the kiss was hungry, like she was desperate for something, you couldnt quite place your tongue on it. the only thing placed on your tongue right now was hers. you kissed her back with just as much passion.

the moans you let out were absolutely pornographic. ellie knew she had to do something about this, stopping the kiss whilst you let out a whine from the lack of attention.

you were borderline wet, like waterpark wet, and it wasnt helping that you were wearing a flimsy skirt that had rode up in the process.

“cmon’ princess.” she took your hand, you felt a bit clumsy for some reason, dizzy, your head was foggy, only thinking about how good she tasted.

you followed her around as she knocked on various locked rooms. finally breaking one open, she slammed it shut, locking it and pressing you up against it. not to hard though, wouldnt wanna hurt your pretty little head.

“fuck, youre so goddamn hot.” she mumbled between kisses. you couldnt help but moan at how turned on she made you feel.

she pushed her knee up between your thighs and you shivered, grinding down onto it. chasing the very needed friction.

you wondered how such an innocent question like ‘can i kiss you?’ turned into you riding on her knee.

“els’, please..” that shit eating grin reappeared on her face and you just wanted to smack it right off, you rolled your eyes. your words and wetness only boosted her ego more.

“please what baby?” she teased. why was she teasing you? you couldnt take it. tears started bubbling in your eyes.

“please just— fuck me.” you mumble out. she liked the sight of you crying, so desperate for her. she was going to tease you more before you actually got what you wanted.

“what was that?” she smirked.

you looked up at her through teary eyes. “can you, uh— go down on me? please?” you were begging, that was a sight.

she pulled you over to the bed, through the dimly light room. “strip.”

you did as she said, it wasnt hard to take off your clothes since there was barely anything on you. first your top, leaving you in a skimpy black lacy bra to match your underwear. then came the boots and skirt.

finally, leaving you in a two piece set. she was waiting patiently for you to take them off. you dont know why you were so hesitant, maybe it was because you hadnt done this in awhile, or maybe it was because her stare was so intense it made your stomach do flips, distracting you from the easy task.

she walked over to help you since you couldnt finish what you had started. “d’ you want this?” you nodded painfully slow.

she peeled off your underwear, holding them up to get a good look before back down to your now bare cunt. it was dripping at the sight of her.

“s’ wet for me princess.” she smirked once more, if she smirked anymore her face would probably get stuck like that.

then came the bra, she asked you to turn around so she could unclip it, she was slightly struggling since she wasnt used to these fancy bras, only because she wears a sports bra.

you giggled and reached your arms behind you to take it off, turning around to leave her ogling at the sight of you.

“youre so beautiful.” you blushed, hard. she looked up at you for some sort of reassurance and you nodded.

a minute ago she was so dominant and now shes sweeter than a cookie. you adored that.

she reached her hands out to cup your tits, so soft, she thought. squeezing them and pinching your now hardened, pebbled nipples.

she elicited a moan out of you. you sat back on the bed for comfort and she dived into them. sucking harshly on your tits.

you couldnt tell if you hated it or loved it, your monas were telling her otherwise.

she left purple marks all over your neck, tits, stomach, anywhere she could mark really. you were huffing, all you needed her to do was touch you down there.

“patience baby.” she replied to your subtle huffs. you rolled your eyes, pleading with your body language as you rolled your hips into nothing.

her head moved down slowly, taking time with your body as if you werent some one night stand. did she actually like you?

she kissed all over your stomach and you felt giddy, you were giggling at how it tickled.

the she dipped her head low, taking in how soaked you were. the whole time you had been rubbing your thighs together. any subtle touch made you go crazy.

she fully dived in, and you moaned her name out, loud enough to here over the booming music. “e-els!” she teased your clit with her tongue, licking a stripe down, giving your clit kitten kisses.

her tongue reached places your fingers couldn’t surprisingly. you couldnt stop panting. it felt like heaven.

your vision was going blurry, white, if the coil in your belly bubbled anymore it was going to snap. “ellie.. i—im gonna!..” she moaned into your pussy, sending hypnotising vibrations into it.

“i know baby, come for me.” those words was the thing that snapped the bubbling coil.

you felt hot slick pool out of you, she lapped up all she could, almost overstimulating you. you were panting.

she got up and laid beside you, toying with your plush tits. you could almost fall asleep right then and there.

“alright,” she patted your thigh. “i gotta get going, heres my number though.” she pulled out a random piece of paper from her pocket and a pen. had she been preparing for this? you thought. she handed you the note like a little kindergartener and put her shirt back on.

you had the sudden urge to shove a pillow between your legs, whining from the loss. you fought back everything in you to shove the pillow that was staring at you between your legs. you watched ellie leave,

she left you on the bed looking back at you to smile before closing the door behind you. you eventually got up and put your clothes on, walking over to the bathroom that was in the small room to fix up your hair and makeup.

you realised your hand was still clutching that little piece of paper. you looked at it and read it slowly, still regaining composure.

‘**** **** **** **** message me ;) x’

you probably werent going to message her, but just incase, you slipped the note into your purse and walked out of the room going to look for you friends to take them home, luckily ellie had sobered you up.

———————

a/n: im sorry the ending actually sucks i was getting sick of this and i needed to get it out of my drafts. should i turn it into a series were reader actually messages ellie? idk.

[rowretro]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬

An enha reactions

Warnings: None I think other than kissing, not proof read saur do tell me if i do need to warn abt anyth

HEESEUNG:

The male had spent the whole day streaming and gaming while you were patiently waiting for him to finally notice you and shower you in love. And exactly how long did your patience last?... luckily for you, Heeseung had just ended his stream, leaving his PC to find you. There you were sitting on the sofa munching on marshmallows...

"Oh darling~ you waited for me?" Heeseung asked with a smile as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. However, instead of letting him, you moved well away from his lips, making him fall forward, and kiss the butt-warmed seat on the sofa instead. "Oh darling, you only just noticed that you r dear girlfriend had waited a whole 5 hours while you gamed and replied to all those girls's comments?! wAh hEEsEunG oPpAr sO hANDsOme~ Oh hEE bE mInE, hEESeUng nOtICe mEEEE" you poutily imitated as Heeseung snickerred.

"God you're so fucking cute baby~" He simply said as you frowned at him. He simply pulled you into his embrace, despite your protests, his lips now pressed against your lips, as he kissed you passionately, pulling away moments later, having you yearn for his soft lips again. "I'm sorry for not paying you enough attention, but I'm all yours now mkay baby?" Heeseung smiled, as he kissed you yet again.

JAY:

It's midnight, and you're alone, waiting on the sofa, yet again. He said he'll finish at 6, he promised you that he will have time for you, but he's still not home. You couldn't be mad at him, if anything, being a CEO is pretty hard, especially after the recent scandal in his company. Jay had a lot of cleaning up to do, even though he didn't cause the mess in the first place.

These recent days, Jay hasn't paid any attention to you, he's become pretty cold and distant, and it's really upsetting you. Your thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening. In walked an exhausted Jay, he put down his items, slipped of his shoes, and hugged you. "You didnt have to wait all night- " Jay said as he leaned in to kiss you, but you pulled away before his lips even landed on yours.

"I did have to- you said you will be here at 6 but its way past the time... Jay- you never have time for me- you know- if you have any problems at work I can help you right, even if I cant- at least tell me, i can listen... you've become so cold these recent days its really upsetting..." You finally blurted as Jay sighed and kissed you slightly with force. "first, dont ever dodge my kisses baby, you know my lips too well to make a ballsy move... and second... i've just been a little to busy dealing with the aftermath of the scandal babe, i swear in a week or so, everything will be back to normal ok?" jay reassured as you kissed yet again.

JAKE:

There was no reason why, this boy is a simp, a lover boy, he's head over heels for you and is there at your every call.  But you, being the oh-so-perfect girlfriend you are, just had to try this prank on him. You were expecting him to be a big pouty baby, get all sulky or be extra clingy, but you also had a feeling... he might surprise you.

The moment he got home from practice, he greeted you with a big hug and a loving kiss, to which you pulled away from him. "wah- I- babe wait let me kiss you-" Jake cluelessly said as he tried to kiss you again, too bad you dodged it again, just the realization hit him, in the mirror he saw your little smirk and boy was you messing with the wrong person.

His arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he trailed open mouth kisses up your shoulder, stopping by your lips. He turned you around and kissed you messily, taking you by shock, he lifted you off the ground and carried you to the sofa. "Would you dodge my kisses again princess?" Jake asked as he tilted his head a little. "If dodging your kisses gets me that  then yes hell yes!" You smiled as Jake kissed you softly, seeing how cute you are.

SUNGHOON:

Sunghoon isnt always a PDA kind of guy, but he's still extremely sweet. There are times he gets very clingy, and those are times that you should cherrish. You were sitting on the sofa scrolling through your phone, when you felt Sunghoon sit right beside you. He rested his chin on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around your waist, making you blush. "What are you up to?" he asked, staring up at your eyes,  as your heart flutterred at the action. Boy he was making it so hard for you to do the prank.

"Just chillin-" you said as Sunghoon leaned in for a kiss, to which you ducked, as he froze "Did you just..." Sunghoon trailed off as he narrowed his eyes at you, within seconds he had your arms pinned above your head "Try dodging this." He said as he continuously kissed you on your lips, bruising them a little, and trailing wet kisses down your chest. "You think your little pranks will work on me baby? you're messin with the pro here missy." Sunghoon warned as he left you gasping for air.

Sunoo

You wouldn't dare do something so stupid without a reason. I mean why would you?! he's Sunoo, he'd always kisses you anytime anywhere, the man showers you with love, he spoils you rotten. However, these recent days Sunoo has been giving you extra attitude, he has become pretty rude and EXTREMELY sassy. It's just getting on your fucking nerves, what happened to "I love you y/n" or those cute, cheesy compliments and texts he spams you with. You had it with his chaos... So you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

He came back from work a little earlier than usual, coming home thinking he would receive a sweet, loving kiss from his girlfriend... But instead he came back to nothing.  A little confused, he frowned and called out for you when he did find you, he leaned in to kiss you, but was taken aback when you pulled away, going to the other side of the bed to fold some clothes.  "What?" you plainly replied to which he scoffed, he didn't know what you're game was but there's no way you're giving HIM any attitude.

"Oh nothing-" Sunoo smiled, simply pulling out your favourite snack hoping that you'll crack. "One kiss is all it takes sweetie..." Sunoo simply said as You narrowed your eyes at him "If you want a kiss why don'tchu come get it yourself?" you asked as you started running, but to your dismay he knew your game, catching you in the doorframe, his arm tightly wrapped around your waist as he leaned down to kiss you rather roughly. After a little he pulled away and walked off  as if nothing happened.

Jungwon

There was no specific reason why you decided to prank him... well- except for that time he had ruined your favourite Spotify playlist with your favourite songs being replaced by Justin Bieber songs... Ok he's a menace, so you had to get him back, take something he loves and make it torment him for the rest of his life...

It was simple, you're something or well someone he loves, and you can also be annoying. Jungwon had just taken a long shower, slipping into the seat beside you. You were focused on the TV, rewatching modern family. Jungwon rested his head on your shoulder, playing with your hand noticing that you seem a little distant. The male leaned in to kiss you, though his cologne is so alluring, and you want nothing more than to be in his embrace, you had to fight your own urges.  

As he leaned into kiss you, you pulled away, going to the far end of the sofa. Jungwon frowned, clearly not liking your ignorance. He yet again tried to kiss you, getting in the way of your view, but you dodged it again, your focus solely on the TV. Jungwon simply carried you, your legs straddling his waist as you immediately snuggled into his chest. Jungwon placed a little kiss on your forehead, snuggling you close to him. he's a little menace... but he's your menace.

Niki

Riki was overly annoying at times, purposely testing your patience, teasing you for your height stealing your snacks. Moving in with him was rough, but you tried to be as calm as you can. So what are you going to lash out at him? yell at him? argue? no... you were going to speak to him in his language. no mater how much he teases you, you can't deny that you love those things...

You had been acting a little cold the whole day, though he didn't take it, constantly towering over you, trapping you between himself and whatever surface you were near, just to ask you a question. As you were sitting on your bed, doing something on your laptop, Riki sat down beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist lovingly.

He leaned down to kiss your forehead, only for you to pull away and sit on the other end of the bed. "Is this one of those tik tok pranks or are you mad?" Riki asked, as he sat beside you yet again. "what?" you asked not even looking his way. "Whatever it's not gonna stop me" Riki smirked, placing the laptop elsewhere, pinning you down and showering you with kisses, trapping you with his body. "You going to avoid my kisses from now?" Riki asked as you caught your breath.

"Well if avoiding one kiss gets me infinity then yes I will" You smiled as riki placed a soft peck on your lips, snuggling you.

too long?

[onceandfuturelesbian]

just finished heartstopper season three and OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD I CANT DEAL OH MY GOD

it was so well done and so so fucking amazing

everytime i think heartstopper can’t get any better, a new season comes out and i DIE

season 4 announcement RIGHT THE FUCK NOW !!!!!!

couple things

- why did they get rid of tori’s coming out and michael’s queerness ???? the ferris wheel scene felt a bit lacklustre to me

- wish imogen’s storyline progressed a little further but it also left off on a good note i think

- definitely felt the lack of sarah nelson but hayley atwell as nicks aunt was an amazing choice to play as some support for nick, i hope we can see her again in the future (WITH sarah pls olivia colman)

but like overall ????? 747382837656472286364/10 oh my god

also even just the physical appearance of charlie changing as he deteriorated and started recovering ??? goddamn they thought of every detail

i fucking CALLED imogen being queer (i bet she was a lesbian and now look at her)

i love that the books becoming a show gives them a chance to dive deeper into the other characters, not just n&c

oh and darcy’s storyline w their nan and then coming out and the haircut and all of it ???? fucking AMAZING!! and i love that it wasn’t an angsty, difficult realization (like nick, isaac, imogen and tori) and they were so comfortable changing and telling tara they’re non binary !!!

just

*chefs kiss x10000*

the entire cast deserves all the awards, ESPECIALLY joe locke cause his acting this season was fucking PHENOMENAL

oh and i love hearing them swear lmao

[piratefishmama]

Nest | Part 4

A Steddie A/B/O ficlet

Eddie hadn’t skimped on ‘personal’ items. His bags were full to the brim, not of things for him to wear, but of other people’s clothes. Other people’s things.

He had sweatshirts, he had shirts, he had an old pair of jeans, some hoodies, he had pillowcases and extra blankets to throw over the scentless nest building ones provided.

He was prepared to fill his nest with comforting scents. Yet there wasn’t a single alpha scent among them.

Steve felt… comfortable there. He wasn’t intruding on anyone’s rightful place, the alpha in him felt like it belonged in that spot when Eddie finally decided he’d had enough of layering hoodies and shirts generously donated by his bandmates and friends and settled himself back next to Steve, laying in that spot where he’d just taken a momentary break, hands tired.

So it was kind of a surprise when Eddie came out, after a moments silence, with “I’m missing something.” Like it wasn’t that big of a deal if he didn’t have it, but it wasn’t there, so he needed to make it known.

“I can have one of the staff call your emergency contact if you want, see if they can get it for you?” Robin would still be at the front desk, she wouldn’t mind.

“N-no… no i—I don’t think Wayne would be able to get what I need. It’s… dumb. It’s dumb, I don’t need it, it’s okay.” Steve shifted so he was on his side, elbow propping his face up as he looked down at the omega.

So, he was pretty. He was very pretty. He was a goddamn pretty omega at that angle, how had Steve just never noticed before?

Had he really been that blind in high school?

“Eddie… whatever it is, it’s not dumb, think of it like this… pregnant omegas will ask for the weirdest shit to eat, like… the weirdest combination of foods, apparently my mother? She always asked for Celery covered in Nutella, and tuna with beef pâté on this fancy herb bread my Nonna bakes” the expression, yeah Eddie was very cute. Too cute actually. “I mention this, because it’s important to cater to those weird requests, cause that’s your body basically asking for whatever nutrients comes from those things. That’s your body saying I need something that’s in those things, combine them for quicker consumption. It’s the same sort of concept, you’re in pre-heat, that little omega part of your brain is asking for something it needs, it’ll be stressed without it making this whole thing less effective. So what is it?”

Steve had done his training, he'd spent hours, weeks, months, years of his life learning this shit so he could be better, so he could help people like Eddie.

So he could be there for someone who needed him, because so few had needed him while growing up.

So he could tell that Eddie was obviously conflicted. Brows furrowed, his bottom lip captured between his teeth worrying at the plush skin reddening it and— okay stop focusing on his lips, Steve.

“You won’t judge me?” God could those eyes get any prettier? Any bigger? Any shinier?  

Steve just about managed to catch the little whine at the back of his throat, caught it before it escaped, critical hit right there. He needed to get himself under control. “Eddie…”

“You were such a judgy bitch in high school, Steve! You cant blame me for being hesitant now.”

“Okay. I’ll give you that.” He was judgemental. He and Robin had spent many hours judging people from the reception desk, never the Omegas but definitely random staff members or people who brought their family members in, those who were fair game basically “I can be judgemental, you’re right, it’s in my nature, but never here, you’re safe here, I swear.”

“So like… a customer service smile?”

Steve grinned, all teeth, eyes shining with amusement in a way that made Eddie feel good, it gave him fuzzies.

“Exactly like a customer service smile, only with you—” Steve had the audacity to boop his nose just to watch the adorable little scrunch it garnered. Eddie couldn’t even be mad, his whole being just kind of tingled at the minimal contact. An alpha touched him. He wanted more. Steve was right next to him, close enough to curl into, that broad chest of his close enough to burrow into and snooze for a while. “I mean it.”

So he did just that. He rolled inwards. Decided Steve’s chest was exactly where he wanted to be and if Steve let him, which he did, the alpha merely letting out a soft, surprised sound, before wrapping an arm around Eddie’s body to hold him there, Eddie would stay. Comfortable. Practically purring in contentment.

He had the best alpha in his nest. He was going to enjoy it dammit!

“I’ve… never had anything of an alpha’s in my nest” he finally admitted into the soft fabric of Steve’s shirt. It made sense. He’d never had an alpha in his life, of course he wouldn’t have had anything of an alpha’s in his nest. “I was just—I just thought that maybe… it’s stupid but—maybe you’d give me something?”

It must have been the right thing to say, because the sweetest smell of cinnamon buns, toasted marshmallows, and the most delightful rumble of a sound seemed to just burst from Steve’s whole being.

The Alpha was pleased. His Alpha. His. Steve was his now. No returns.

Steve squeezed him. Squished him into his chest in a hug. His Alpha was damn near euphoric, it was the right thing to say, right thing to do, and it got him a wonderful hug too. God, Steve had such perfect arms. Perfect chest too, Eddie just wanted to bury his face between those pectorals and stay there.

Which was good because Steve didn’t seem to be keen on letting him go. Good.

“Anything” Steve answered him, tilting his head down to press his face into all those fluffy curls and just breathe. The Omega in his arms crooning softly in delight “I’d give you anything, Eddie… anything you want, it’s yours.”

Steve. He wanted Steve. It felt like such a good time to ask too. Anything, Steve said anything, and Eddie was an opportunistic little shit when he wanted to be, he could ask for anything and Steve would give it to him. Was this what it felt like to be wanted by an alpha? To feel his whole body alight with warmth? It wasn’t even sexual, he just… he felt good.

An immense amount of pleasure that had nothing to do with sex, it was just… like he’d found his spot and didn’t have to leave it. Home. He’d found home.

“Then… can I have you?”

Part 6

[hisaame]

OK kinda a specific request but like- could you do a Scara x fem!reader or gn!reader where he’s like overworking himself due to his studies(probably bc of his mommy issues sjsjks) and reader is like comforting and convincing him to go to sleep w her/them since it was late? Modern au ofc. And basically Scaramouche is being all stingy about it like “no I’m fine” and stuff but eventually goes to bed because of readers sweet words haha

Of m y god this ones adorablw i love soft scara THANK UU!!

╰⪼ “fine, for you." ♡

╰ — scaramoucheˊˊ」

╎『modern au!ˎˎ

[fluff] — 『warnings: workaholic scara, soft scara again (i swear these arent real warnings), cursing, scara mommy issues, readers pronouns arent used, but feminine body type』

It has already been a long week for you and Scaramouche, school was a pain in the ass, as well was studying. You would usually be studying at the schools library with friends, or mainly with your boyfriend, Scaramouche. But even with you being done with everything, he continued studying, alone.

It was late at night, around one in the morning, you had just finished some chores since you didn't have much to do, and you weren't tired then. But now you were, all the chores you did worn you out. You thought your lover jad already gone to sleep or is possibly waiting for you, but once you entered your twos' bedroom with a tired yawn, you saw Scaramouche still at the desk, focused.

'he's still studying?..' you thought to yourself, slowly walking over to your lover who seemed too focused to even notice your there. But with a gentle pat on his shoulder, he flinched slightly, then turned to look at you with tired eyes. "[yn]? Why aren't you in bed?" he asked, rubbing his eyes as his other hand still held a pen between his slender fingers.

"Shouldn't i be asking you the same thing?" you replied with a raised eyebrow, looking at Scaramouches own eyes that seemed to already have eyebags under them, his eyelids drooping as he forced himself to stay awake. "shit," he mumbled "you go, ill join you later. I have to finish this shit." with a groan, he turned back to studying, his eyes trying to soak in every word he reads from the book, and writing the more important things down.

You sighed, a bit frustrated now. "Scaramouche, please, finish it tomorrow, you look like you're barely awake." you pat his head, running your fingers through his dark indigo locks. You just loved him too much to let him overwork himself like this, he needs to be getting enough sleep. "Cant you fucking see i cant? This is important, alright? Do you think i wanna fucking do this either?" he groaned, frustrated with how long he's studied, and barely able to focus with his sleepiness. But seeing how he was a bit too mean to you, he mumbled "... Shit, im sorry. Love, please just go to bed, im fine."

he rubbed his eyes yet again as you replied "not without you. If im going to sleep right now, ill make sure you're right beside me.", you crossed your arms below your chest, glaring at your boyfriend. Why must you be so persistent? He cant even get his studies done with you like this. "I told you im fine, plus ill be in bed soon anyway." he put his hand on your hip, still reading over the words he's trying to memorize. His hand caressed your hip, then went around your thighs to pull you close. "There will be no later, come on." you groaned, too worried about your overworked lover.

"mmh, so soft..." the male mumbled, pressing his head against your stomach, to where he could reach since he was sitting down and you were standing up. He used your stomach as a head rest while reading. His hand still caressed your plush thighs. "Yeah? U can hug me all you want when we're in bed." you smirked, seeing how this was actually working. He narrowed his eyes, very tempted. After all, he could just finish this tomorrow, right? No big deal? Tomorrow he promises himself to study with you.

"fucking fine... Lets go. You better keep your word." he finally gave up, standing up lazily as the both of you walked to bed. He quite literally threw himself on the bed while you followed by doing it the.. safer way. He groaned as soon as he stretched his back, cramped from being in the same position. Now he gets his reward. You.

He lazily wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your neck, all while you held him in your arms. You did scold him a little for overworking himself, to which he only giggled and said "oops".

And he fell asleep almost immediately...

♡

[koiir]

II CANT STOP ME

— embarrassing/annoying scenarios with them

Characters; Scaramouche, xiao, Kazuha, heizou x gn!reader

Genre: fluff, crack, comedy

Cw: swearing, chihuahuas, mentions of throwing up on heizous part, not proofread

“Hey…scara?” You made sure your voice was low, almost as if you were nervous and anxious, wanting to make sure your prank worked. You awaited for him to answer until you continued.

“What is it?” He sat on the couch, laying with his face smushed into the pillow. His words quick, a slight irritation already showing.

“Woww, already putting up an attitude?” He glared at you, rolling his eyes. He was waiting for you to tell him whatever it was that you had to say.

“Well, I need you to be honest with me.” You looked away, not daring to face him eye to eye. The action caused him to raise his eyebrows, wondering if there was a problem.

“Okay… go on.”

“And…. It might be a little awkward between us after. But I have to know how you feel.” You broke your words apart, wanting to show the anxiety you felt.

Scaramouche now felt caught off guard by this. Things being awkward between you two? He wanted to know if you had done something… or if he had done something.

“Just tell me already.” It sounded like he was rather desperate, trying to hide the emotions he started to feel. He just wanted you to spill it out already.

“I… I’ve kept this in for a long time, and I need to confront you about it.” You looked down at the floor, voice quite almost like a whisper.

What? What the hell were you talking about? Scaramouche didn’t like this, he almost felt his heart sink.

“[Name]?What are you talking about? What is it?” His voice was getting a little louder, but not with angry—more like worry, he got more nervous. He hated the way you wouldn’t look at him.

“It just doesn’t feel right if I don’t get an answer, I don’t want this to ruin things between us.”

“[name]? What is this about? Just tell me, I don’t like how-“

“Look at your phone scara! Look at what i sent you!” You said, almost yelling as you turned back to him. Your clenched your fist in anger, and… were you crying?

His eyes widened, his hands started to shake as his unlocked his phone—pulling your messages up. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this. His face dropped.

He couldn’t believe he let you prank him like this. He was going to kill you. You started laughing seeing his face, expression filled with annoyance at your actions.

“Oh my goddd, I actually… I got you so good!” You laughed in between your words, your little prank being a success.

“For fucks sake [name]… I’m gonna kill you.” He glared at you, and then back onto his phone which showed the picture you sent him. A picture from when he was a toddler, hair messy—clothes filled with paint and on his face. How did you even get it?

“Don’t you like the picture?” You look so cute!” You walked over to him, almost grabbing his hands. But he smacked it away, giving you an attitude for what you had done.

“Shut up! You’re sleeping on the couch tonight!” And so you kept your word.

But… Scaramouche couldn’t handle you not being by his side, this causing him to carry you back to bed with him while annoying a word you said.

It was your idea, for xiao to meet your little furry friend. But god, it was the worst thing he had ever experienced.

“I thought… I would be meeting your cat, not that.” Xiao motioned his hands toward the dog—the chihuahua that was already starting to growl.

“Well, my sister came over and she wanted me to take care of her dog while she took care of my cat.” You looked towards xiao, finding his eyes glaring daggers at you.

Xiao could deal with cats, and dogs—but the way the chihuahua was staring at him… xiao couldn’t help but feel under attack. He felt like the little animal would pounce on him.

“I don’t he likes me.”

“She! She’s a girl…” you never why, but people always assumed the chihuahua was a boy. Did that say something about the chihuahua?

“But don’t say that xiao… she’s always like this don’t worry.” That was true in some way, but not always the case. As you two walked toward the dog, she started to growl and bark as loudly as ever.

“So she’s always annoying as fuck?” Xiao stayed in the same spot as you walked over towards her, she seemed to calm down a bit seeing you but was still on alert by xiao.

“Yeah, most of the time! But she’ll get use to you… soon hopefully.”

Xiao kept his words in, not wanting to know the answer by he had to know. “So, how long is she staying with us?”

“Mhm… I think my sis said two weeks? She’s pretty busy, always working.”

Xiao felt his face drop—two whole weeks… with that?! The dog that clearly didn’t like him????

“No.” That’s all he said, knowing that he had no say in this.

“Huh? But xiao….” You walked towards him with the dog in hand. “Just… here.”

“Wait! No!”

Before he knew, you had placed the chihuahua in his hands. And oh. Oh… xiao felt like he would die on the spot from how she kept growling in his grasp. The dog not giving up with her stuck up attitude.

Did she just bite him???

“Nope… not dealing with her any more.” She placed her on the ground, not wanting her in his grasp for another second longer.

That was the one of many incidents with xiao and you sisters lovely chihuahua. By the first week, the dog seemed be…. More at ease?

“Well, look at what we have here.” You entered the room, only to find xiao on the bed… with her.

The chihuahua he swore he couldn’t handle… was sitting on his lap. Almost falling asleep, but she opened her eyes once you came.

“Mhm…” xiao groaned, knowing you would tease the hell out of him for this.

You made sure to take a picture of this moment—without him knowing. Later using this as “blackmail” by teasing him. He wished he had never met that chihuahua.

It was often that your boyfriend, Kazuha—could be found writing his haiku’s. For once he never thought he could be annoyed by your presence, but we was proven wrong today.

Deep In thought he was, feeling your presence making his mind wonder—what could he possibly write next? Something that involved you… maybe.

He started to think of the write words… until he heard the voice.

“Kazuuu!” You said, rather loudly for his liking as it had disturbed his deep thoughts. He looked up to see you walking towards him, he found it rather funny—you were already pretty close to him as you sat on the couch infront of him.

You sat next to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. You skimmed through the empty paper he had, nothing yet on it.

“Can’t figure out what to write?” Your voice laced with concerns…but why did it have that tone following it? Kazuha swore he saw a sly smile on your face before it was gone.

“Yeah… I was deep in thought trying to find the right words.” He didn’t mention the part of where he was interrupted by you, not wanting you to feel upset at your doing.

But maybe he should have—because now he was dealing with you interrupting him every second he had. It was quite ironic, how you had managed to disturb him in the times where he was so close, to writing his thoughts down.

It didn’t matter what it was, small comments from you about what you saw on your phone, the view from the window ahead of you. None of it mattered, but it sure did get Kazuha rather pent up.

He knew he had to do something, so he did the one thing he knew always had you quite.

“Love… say, is something on your mind?” Kazuha had now walked towards you, face full of worry. Maybe there was something more to this than he thought, but he couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.

“Mhm? I’m fine Kazu, I promise.” A soft smile made its way onto your face, Kazuha though felt like that wasn’t exactly the truth.

“Oh? You sure? Because… you keep on disturbing me during important times.” His face now leaned over yours, his lips ghosting over yours. He could only think you were doing this to get a reaction out of him—but he wouldn’t let you win that easily, he rather hoped to get a reaction out of you.

Your breath hitched at the closeness from Kazuha, his eyes burned deep into yours. Your face almost being the same shade as that of his eyes. Those beautiful crimsons eyes that you could look into forever.

He leaned his lips toward yours, kissing you to conceal your voice. Your thoughts vanished as you could only focus on the one kissing you. You felt the teasing smile Kazuha had while kissing you—knowing that he had clearly won this little battle.

“So…try not to disturb me anymore dove? Okay?”

Heizou had always had a knack to tease you at any given moment, and today certainty was that day. Rather it felt worse, so much more worse.

“Man alive… even with your sickness you still won’t take it?” You hated the grin that he held, clearly knowing that he had done this on purpose.

“It’s because I told you to get pills… not medicine! You already know how I feel about medicine heizou!”

“Well… maybe it’s time to over come your fears! So, which one will it be?” Instead of following your words, heizou decided to go with the medicine option instead. Knowing how much you hated taking medicine, it didn’t help that the options had a smell to them. He knows how bad the taste would be.

“Neither. They probably taste like shit.”

“Aww, don’t say that love, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Plus, don’t you want to get better?” Of course you did—you had to cancel a date you two had because of this sickness. But heizou was having his fun, making you pick between two things that he knew would cause you agony.

You knew you had to suck up it—even if it meant giving into his tactics. You knew eventually you would get him back.

“Fine! I’ll take that one…” you pointed towards the one heizou had on his left hand, a smile appearing onto his handsome face. That smile made you want to smack him.

“There we go! Look at you… growing up and overcoming your fears! Here…” his tone was full of teasing, happy as ever with the fact that his plan had worked.

He then handed you the bottle of medicine awaiting you, gulping at the thought of having to chug some of it down.

He stood next to you, waiting for you to swallow the medicine. His smile never left his face as you stared down at the medicine—it certainly didn’t help that the smell was so strong.

Chugging it down you heard heizou give you a “good job!” You ignored the comment as you finally let the medicine down your throat, the left over taste still in your mouth.

What heizou didn’t expect was for you to throw up… something he didn’t think would be possible considering it was medicine. Maybe he should have gone with the pills—now having to deal with you as you cursed at him for what he had done. But hey, at least he got a laugh out of it!

[kmmachilles]

heres the list of my favourite shadowhunter couples from all the series (not including twp for obvious reasons) bc i cant sleep

TID: Gideon n Sophie. I KNOW KNOW EVERYONE LOOVES HERONGRAYSTAIRS I DO TOO THEYRE MY HEART ND SOUL but gideon n sophie man. cmon. theres sweet hurt sophie that thinks men like gideon r assholes bc of her former employers son and will, and gideon REINFORCES that by constantly talking in spanish while hes actually absolutely down BAD for sophie. she thinks shes not good enough for him, her being a mundane 'servant' and 'ugly' from her scarred face and him being the eldest son carrying the great shadowhunter lightwood name. and then hes just there ordering scones to his room just to see sophie, and ending up stashing them under the bed bc he doesn't even LIKE them. and pretty, smart sophie, although FURIOUS at first, goes 'so yea u dont like scones. what about SPONGE CAKES???????? THEYRE MY SPECIALTY' and then he falls so in love with her and proceeds to tell everyone hes marrying her before even proposing to her. i love them.

TLH: Alastair n Thomas. i love love love them not only their pair but them as separate characters too. esp bc the two didnt have the kind of shit the other ships had to deal with like james n cordelia were 'OH HE LOVES GRACE BUT I LOVE HIM / OH I LOVE GRACE BUT IM MARRIED TO CORDELIA / I SHOULD RUN AWAY W MATTHEW / fuck im in love with cordelia.' and lucie n jesse were like 'IM IN LOVE W A GHOST WHO'S THE SON OF A WOMAN WHO HATES MY FAMILY / shes only in love w me bc im a ghost and she likes writing stories so im one of her stories SHE DOESNT REALLY LOVE ME BUT I LOVE HER BUT IM A GHOST SO I CANT *REALLY* LOVE HER PROPERLY LIKE SHE DESERVES' and ari and anna were like 'OH I LOVE HER BUT I WANT KIDS SO I'LL MARRY CHARLES WHO, BTW, IS GAY :3 / OH I LOVE HER but im a stony heartbreaker women, lock your daughters and then yourselves im coming after you / oh my god i cant marry charles I LOVE YOU ANNA TAKE ME BAACK / ha! im stony heartbreaker.' and we all know the problem w matthew n cordelia, and alastair and charles AND grace and christopher (my heart stopped beating i swear to you). like i know Alastair and thomas definitely HAD to overcome some shit but Thomas KNEW he liked guys and alastair and alastair was pr sure about it too so when they got together, they GOT together ykwim??? no hanky panky. plus theres also the 'thomas-is-basically-michelangelos-david' so yea. no brainer. theyre my fav.

TMI: Alec and Magnus. okay so this is for both obvious reasons (fan favourite) and some other personal ones. Living where i do, i had no idea you could like the same gender as yourself or ltr anything about the LGBTQ+ community at all. These two were the first gay ship i had EVER read and they are what lead me to be as confident in my sexuality as i am right now. they introduced me to the concept of thinking beyond what i was told or shown by the people that surround me and look into the world the right way, without projecting judgement. i love them for that. theyre my comfort characters and the one of the biggest reasons i am who i am right now. also magnus is pr much why i adore glitter and i manage to put it on my face every other day ahaha

TDA: Diana n Gwynn. a very, very close second is Mark n Cristina n Keiran. but about Diana and Gwynn, they literally have my entire soul im not even kidding you. Gwyn is the first person Diana opens up to about her transition and its honestly so heartwarming that Gwyn, the leader of the Wild Hunt, known to be vicious and feared by faerie, is literally just there for her to lean on. He supports her and is so, so calm and soft with her it genuinely melts me. like, this man is basically the reaper of souls and he rides a magnificent steed into the night but hes so gentle with Diana. obviously my obsession w them is reinforced by the fact that the FIRST time Gwynn sees Diana he goes 'O' and is all like 'HELLO my fair lady beautiful one gorgeous strong lovely lady' and gives her an acorn like 'call me ;)' and diana my love just, THROWS the acorn to julian and emma and goes 'do w that whatever u will' and acts like she doesnt care and when they call on gwyn he comes to help nd immediately goes '...THAT WASNT FOR YOU but ig i'll help bc ur the magnificent lady's brats :/'

so yes thats it. now pls, whatever fucking ghost is haunting me with these thoughts, PLEASE LET ME SLEEP

[cloudytaemin]

your taemin as ur bf posts are sooo so good thank u for ur service ㅠㅠ

taemin as ur boyfriend pt. 3 <3

how could i resist? if you guys want any more "as ur boyfriend" posts just send a <name> as your boyfriend (ill only do hybe boy groups, sm boy groups, and skz. (ex: jimin as ur boyfriend please) <3)

he loves anniversaries

and god hes such a whore for those nice dinners out on yachts or at fancy restaurants he loves them so much he just cant resist

when you hit one month you practically had to beg him not to do something extra

but now that youre around the two year mark you knew hed do something big and extra

i mean lets be honest on your first anniversary he took you to santa monica pier and then bali since he just is that extra, two completely different places but he wanted you to know how much he cared so he took you there

taemins so devoted to making you feel loved that he just has to get you something and spend every second with you when he gets home from his busy ass schedule for a few days

he always tells you how hes going to marry you one day and hes so glad you met his parents

even though that was an emotional rollercoaster for you

he tries his very hardest to get you to come to every event possible despite the crazy number of sasaengs and cameras following him

even jongin thinks its unsafe for you after a point

but despite it, taemin will still facetime and text you at every chance he gets

youre second only to kkoong because he needs to make sure his precious baby is having fun too

you practically have to commit half your time to her as well because if kkoong isnt happy taemin isnt either

and a sad taemin is the last thing youd ever want

especially after all of his nice gestures to you like signing every new album

you tell him every time that he doesnt need to because you have him right in front of you but he tells you it makes him feel more loved when he gets to sign an album for his favorite person in the whole world

you swear you could ask him to buy you a country and hed do everything in his power to get it for you

even get you into sm if you asked for it

but you never would because youd rather work your own life and not have to deal with the shenanigans taemin would pull when you were at work with him

he cant keep his hands off. ever.

but, you love him anyway.

this one was kinda short sorry! :[ ill bring more good stuff next time

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hii sex witch

im 19 afab and ive never had sex before, i masturbate sometimes but ive never had an orgasm and dont know how to "get it"?.. im generally scared of sex and identified as asexual for a long time but i dont think thats really my deal, im just scared of it. im scared of it being awkward, of my partner not finding me atractive or worse. i dont like how i look naked, and dont imagine anyone ever could. i think my vagina and my boobs look ugly and alien, i preach body positivity and being natural i think all bodies are good no matter how they look but when im faced with the reality of my own body im repulsed by these parts of it. i think something may be broken inside me because i just cant Be Normal about sex, the thought of me having it always makes me stressed and uncomfortable. i want a relationship and i love meeting new people and flirting etc. but when the person i talk to makes any sexual joke or innuendo i get super tense and scared and realise that if things get further they would probably want me to do it... and maybe i could and maybe i even want to but the thought makes me sick with the pressure. this isnt even a question, so i dont know how you could even respond but i dont have anyone i could openly talk about this in my life without feeling super weird or them just brushing it off as "you'll grow up to it" or something, and i just had to say it to someone or else i will eventually explode. hope this all makes sense ❤️‍🩹

hey anon,

come in, get cozy, grab a glass of lemonade, etc. we're gonna be here a minute.

so listen: I swear to GOD this isn't me trying to pull the "you'll grow into it" thing. I am going somewhere different with this I swear. bear with me.

first and foremost, I think the main problem you're experiencing right now is that being 19. I don't mean that in a condescending or belittling way, or to imply that you just don't want to have sex because you're 19. I'm saying that being 19 (and 18, and 20, and 21, and so on) is mostly for being worried about everything and having no idea what's going on. you have to get all that insane anxiety out of your system as early as possible in your adult years so that you can get down to business actually developing a perspective and figuring out what you want to do. I'm not even, like, a LOT older than you but trust me, by the time you're 26 you're going to feel SOOOOO different about things that you don't even realize you have an opinion about right now. when I was 19 I was made pretty much exclusively of anxiety and the cheapest bagels at the grocery store. (eating badly was not helping my anxiety.)

what I'm getting at here is that you're at like a very exciting and terrible formative age when it's the most normal thing in the world to feel like there's something uniquely awful and hideous and unlovable about yourself. when I was 19 the two most important things in the world to me were losing my virginity (lmao) and making sure I never experienced actual emotional intimacy ever because I was sure that if anyone got close enough to really know me they would realize that I was the worst person who ever lived and fundamentally undeserving of human connection. TERRIBLE place to be in; I had a lot of deeply bad and uncomfortable sex because of it.

there's a really easy solution to being terrified of sex, which I wish someone had told me when I was very scared of sex, and it's if having sex sounds like a horrific ordeal you can actually just Not Have Sex. just don't do it. it's actually REALLY easy to not have sex; millions of people do it every single day.

if you like meeting people and flirting, that's awesome! you should do that, having connections and relationships with other people is important. if you don't like sexual jokes and innuendos you can just tell people they make you uncomfortable and ask them not to do that; how they respond is actually a GREAT litmus test for whether or not those are people you should keep hanging out with. if someone isn't able to not make sexual comments about you after you've asked them not to, kick 'em to the curb!

there are tons of people in all kinds of romantic relationships who aren't having sex. that's a perfectly fine and reasonable boundary to set. it can make things a little more complicated, sure, but dating and romance and love are all complicated and messy anyway. again, great way to VERY EFFICIENTLY weed out who is and isn't a suitable potential partner. (it's also fine to not want a partner, either; there's nothing wrong with being a sociable extrovert who doesn't want to have sex.)

there's nothing broken about you for being nervous about the idea of having sex. whether you identify as asexual or not, it's perfectly fine to feel that way. it's completely fine if you change your mind tomorrow or if you feel this way for the rest of your life. and you might! maybe sex will never sound awesome for you, and that's fine! again, tons of people living very good and happy lives every day without having sex! sex isn't a measure of maturity, but knowing yourself well enough to honor your own boundaries and desires is.

I hope a kinder attitude towards your own body can come with time, and I think it will. be gentle with yourself, alright? being 19 is very silly but unfortunately very necessary, and I think you'll really like what comes after if you let yourself relax a little. whatever you feel like right now, you're actually a very normal person, by which I of course mean you have a rich and brilliant mind and will do many quietly wonderful things in your life and will be deserving of every bit of love and joy that comes your way.

also, hey - have you ever seen a therapist about anxiety? I also should have done that when I was 19.

[preservationofnormalcy]

SWEAR TO GOD two pirates just walked out of a poster hanging up in my room and threatened me and started taking shit. I've never ever had anything like this happen to me before so I'm kind of freaking out but I think they just left my apartment with a bunch of stuff from my kitchen and I'm not about to go ask for my silverware back. Please please PLEASE HELP I CANT DEAL WITH CRAZY SHIT RIGHT NOW I DIDNT EVEN KNOW SHIT LIKE THIS COULD HAPPEN PLEASE SEND SOMEONE.

Okay, so. Silly question. Do these pirates seem, for lack of a better term, normal? Like just normal guys despite them coming from, if I’m understanding you, a poster.

Or, are they….a little sick looking? Are you smelling brine and rot? Are your timbers shivering? Do you feel the cold dark pull of the endless ocean, the fathomless depths crushing your body in a merciless icy rage? Are you faced with the concept of an entity, a body far larger than you can describe or even contemplate, that not only cares nothing for your safety but could, in fact, be hell bent on destroying you, with only inches of sealed wood protecting you from the infinite abyss?

If the latter, Captain Jones might be getting a little daring, and we can try and remind him where his place is.

Either way we’ll send some people out.

[peteytheparrot]

i'm gonna be so fuckin real with you man i cant see a single thing in ur art style that would make someone go 'oh! hh artstyle!' cus its like. your unique style.

like i COULD go on a lengthy analysis comparing and contrasting and pointing out how the slim comparisons are simply widespread art stuff that's everywhere and has been everywhere long before hh even happened, but that wouldn't be the beeest use of my art majors (or WOULD it)

GIRLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH PEOPLE COMPARE MY STYLE TO HH AND IM LIKEEE,,,,,,, HUUHHH???

And my poor boy Obsidian,,, always gets compared to Alastor and Blitzo 💔💔💔 God forbid a character have sharp teeth nowadays am I right *starts brutally sobbing* God sharp teeth were such a novelty before HH ran it into the GROUND

and NOW I have to deal with people comparing him with that Carmine character (absolutely shitty design btw) because his last name is Carmine I swear I cannot win man 😔

And the time someone thought my OCs were HH OCs,,,, I literally can’t,,,,,, how,,,,,,,,,,, that ruined me for awhile man ☠️☠️

[curltee]

(my bros commentary while watching THC1 )

"Are those his dogs? Hes crying cuz its badly photoshopped"

"Crying while carrying a whole ass gun"

"Bitch thats the point of a present"

"Whats this suspicious nightclub theyre going to."

"Does she know how phones work?

"Shes the dumb bitch in this group"

"Straight up, the drama team needs to learn how to take phone calls like he does. Fake phone calls"

"Um whys he looking like that when he injects her?"

"The sexual tension of this scene right now...wild. Pls tell me rn that this is secretly a torture porn???"

"Ofcourse hes gonna take it personally you twig"

"He can be a gardener"

"What a gentlemen, he even carries him"

"Dang he got a screamer here. And i thought those two girls were bad enough"

"Im sorry i just cant get over the shape of his fucking head"

"Hes like attractive, but in a creepy way"

"jenny gives me the mom come pick me up im scared deal"

"Can we appreciate that he has the decency to not hit the women. Yeah straight up he just awakens them so calmly. with the girls its like "hi besutiful goodmorning!" Then just fucking smack the guy on the face

"Id rather let him wake me up by smacking me than creepily stroke my hair like that"

"Why not hit that glass with your butt?"

"Why is he apologizing for not shooting her?"

"Oh my god shes really is the dumbest bitch alive. I thought jenny was but no"

"Fuck both jenny and the asian dude bitch runnn"

I could watch somebodys head cut off but not a butt removal"

"Okay but why the guy who screams alot placed at the front ???"

"Dang should have put jenny at the front to get a head action. unless hes into dudes"

"Do you think he has sex with it? If so which end would he prefer more? Or do you think he sees it as innocent but creepy way? Like this is my centipede child i love you"

"If he gives them painkillers does he only have the choose one but triple the amount of painkillers?"

Poor girls, one is literally eating her friends ass...forever"

"Okay so..nazi european madman. kamikaze shithole..What racial slur would be next"

"His chicken noise reminds me of squilliam"

"Is he dying? Oh shitting my bad."

"Did he atleast take their tongues out? or do they taste everything? Thats jsut nasty "

"OHH NIPPLE HELL YEAH"

"These dudes are definitly not trained to be cops. They just claimed they are on a random day "

"Why do they dressed like our uncles?"

"MAKE HIM FALL MAKE HIM FALL WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE HIM LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT".

"Out of all stairs why the spiral ones"

"A wild human centipede 🎶 got chased by a doctor 🎶 will the centipede make it🎶 or get eaten alive 🎶 find out in our next episode of planet earth"

"Oh yeah hes licking it. thats gross"

"He really just crawled themselves into a room with no plan. its going good so far"

"So did she just assume the glass was still broken. Does she have no concept of time. Probably not "

"The amount of grunts they had to record for this"

"Thats a deep cut"

*Heiter got shot* "Thats satisfying"

"Annnnd shes dead. or passed out atleast. Oh no shes really dead"

"I swear they hold eachothers hands very much"

"Oh they shot this scene really well. Like the angle and everything. Props to her can translate dread into her eyes. This is makes me sad."

"Imagine being in the middle and your counterparts are fucking dead. Thats gonna be her motto is she survives this"

[feathers-feathers]

Bug Fables' deep lore is engaging in open warfare with my mental helath i swear to GOD I CAnt figure this tHE FUCK OUT IM GOING INSANE

Context: I'm trying to make a timeline. Bug fables took this personally.

The big question here that got me to break is what the fuck is the deal with Flower Gods? So I was writing an essay of sorts to try and figure it out as I go, then clean it up and post it when I came to a few satisfying conclusions, and maybe make a poll to see what others would prefer.

I have now lost at least a decade of my lifespan, and will be seeking reparations in the court of law. I'll post what I wrote below the cut, just be aware that it's not finished, will not be finished if I have a gun to my head, and jumps places every now and then because that's just how I roll in the drafting stage.

I hope to all the gods above that some of you can find sense where I have failed.

Beware: Here be dragons. (Also, it's quite long.)

BEGIN

Currently doing timeline shenanigans with Bug Fables. I learned something in the lore that will have a major impact in how that timeline manifests. The problem is that this lore detail isn't exactly straight-forward, and has multiple interpretations. I'd like to see some other thoughts on this matter before I make a decision. The lore in question is regarding the creation of the Flower Gods.

A reminder: There is a secret room in Snakemouth Den that displays information regarding the 3 Flower Gods. Prior to seeing this room, most I think didn't even know there were 3 - only knowing of Venus at the time. The other two are Mars and Pluto. These displays tell us a few things. Some information on the gods themselves: Venus is

Guardian: M-001 "Mars" Age: 361 Status: Stable

Guardian: V-012 "Venus" Age: 358 Status: Stable

Guardian: P-183 "Pluto" Age: 34 Status: Stable

This secret asks a whole bunch of questions and answers exactly none of them.

The first thought I see many people go to is that this, of course, confirms that the Roaches created them. However, there is dialogue from Venus herself stating "Ah, it still feels like it was yesterday when they were scurrying around the land trying to get stuff together!" Which doesn't say much, but sort of implies that she was around while the Roaches were still figuring things out.

But what about those designations, what do they mean? For something like this - and considering they all start with the first letter of the Guardian's name - I think it's, like, a version number.

If they were all created by the Roaches, then… wtf? So with Mars, they got it right on their very first try - congratulations, a fucking GOD is born - but their next Guardian took 12 attempts? What? And then Pluto took 183 attempts. And the time discrepancy is just…. weird. Wtf does this mean? The Roaches started off as the best scientists ever, getting everything correct on their first go, then suddenly dropping the ball off the face of the Earth and getting nothing right? For centuries? And after all of that, they consider the Sapling to be their greatest creation. Not any of the Actual Deities they supposedly made. And then they place two of these gods in… just… entirely different territories. Mars is in the Eastern lands. Lord knows where Pluto is, but not Bugaria, that's for sure. I do find this rather unpalatable.

If they weren't created by the Roaches - they were just studying them, trying to replicate their power - I think that fits some of this better. Especially that above quote by Venus. If she was around before the Roaches developed what they have now - the Roaches being the first bugs to awaken - then did she awaken before even them? If she - and, perhaps, Mars - were the first to awaken, then was the Day of Awakening only around 370 years ago? That would probably be the best case scenario for developing a timeline. It'd be the only True Date that can be nailed down, and make it a lot easier to place other dates around it by comparison.

But still… what's the deal with the version numbers? Perhaps the Guardians do not have true immortality, but ressurrective immortality? That would sort imply that Pluto might in fact be the first, and he's on his 183'd life. It would also mean that Mars would actually be the youngest of the gods. Despite being the oldest current version, he is still only on his First version - no deaths, no resurrections. This would also mean that Pluto died around the time the Roaches vanished. But also - if Pluto died 182 times prior to his current iteration… what the fuck kind of life is this guy living? Is he stuck in a death loop, wtf?

This is honestly just another discrepancy, to me. Lets be as conservative as possible and say that most of Pluto's lives were all around 30 years in length. This is so conservative as to be ridiculous, but let's just ignore that. 183 x 30 = 5490. That's Fucking Old - and I'm gonna say, just as ridiculous. Why, then, would the other two gods only have a few years of an age gap? This feels like a strong point towards the idea that the Roaches created them??? that the designations are version numbers before deployment and not ressurrective iterations???

Oh My God. What the fuck am I supposed to believe?

BREAK

This is where I officially gave up. I hate all of these ideas none of them are satisfactory. Bug Fables why do you hate me so muchae dsafsafgfghrdsgrdfeignbreoiatghnbfrabgifrhdfhdfghdfsghdfizghsregtbdfsgfcuigh

[foxboyclit]

im coming up on my 2 year t-aversarry so here's some assorted feelings on that (put under a cut because i didnt expect it to get this long oops)

first off, im hoping i don't get sick again so i can actually have a tea party to celebrate. even if its a little after the actual date i wanna do something

it looks like i cant grow anything more than some light whiskers but i never wanted a huge lumberjack beard anyway and i still get to shave regularly which is very euphoric. im a little disappointed though because ive always wanted a full beard

body hairs been really good though! its filled out nicely on my arms and legs and i have a full happy trail i am so so happy about that

my doctor said she noticed my shoulders had gotten more broad, which ive heard wasn't possible but apparently it is! and i see it myself too. she said i have more of an inverted triangle shape now, and it makes sense because ive noticed my hips shrink significantly. now apparently i wasn't very curvy to begin with but dysphoria makes me see things that aren't as prominent i guess

its also almost a year since my period stopped and i feel so much better having my emotions and energy levels at a constant state. i never have to think about whether i forgot to bring pads i haven't had cramps in MONTHS it's wonderful. i will say, ive noticed cis women are more comfortable talking about their periods around me and it's a mixed bag of emotions. im glad i give off that vibe that it's okay to talk about it but i feel bad saying "yeah im glad mine stopped" or "this is what i used to go through" which is the most i can relate to now so im kind of...sad? to not be able to talk about it? but also when i did menstruate i hated talking about it to anyone other than like. two specific people. idk

my voice is leveling out more, it still cracks but not as much as it did i feel like just a few months ago? still not where i want it but im getting closer and i love when my voice cooperates and is deeper without those cracks. ive gotten compliments on my voice too when i use my lower register! idk if the majority of people read it as masculine or even androgynous but i like compliments

still getting constantly misgendered, no matter what im wearing but im used to it. at least all my family, friends and coworkers respect my pronouns

ive been dressing a lot more feminine than i anticipated. but im having fun with it! its okay if im actually more feminine presenting than fluid like i previously thought. but also i could have another big swing in the opposite direction. i feel comfortable and stylish either way so im welcoming whatever changes

the gender fuckery of facial hair, flat chest and skirt has been *chefs kiss*

my t levels are on par with cis men! just knowing that makes me smile. estrogen is still high but it wasnt a concern with the doctor so im mostly okay with it

my libidos leveled out nicely, it's still a lot higher than before t but its not as intense as when i first started. adjusting to it has been pretty easy and im happy with where it currently sits.

body acne has mostly gone away! and i haven't had any massive breakouts or changes in my skin!

i swear to god i went down at least a cup size. its been waiting for the right time to pursue top surgery a hell of a lot easier. i always felt like if i had a smaller chest i wouldnt necessarily need top surgery, and i still want it but im more content with my chest now

i think all in all ive had to adjust my expectations for how id look by now, maybe its the dosage or genetics or aforementioned high estrogen or it just hasn't been long enough but i always expected to look more masculine this far in. it's still something i have to deal with from time to time but ultimately im happy with my body and im more okay taking this slowly than i anticipated

i dont have a conclusion for this other than wow. testosterone is one hell of a drug