#i am getting better/more consistent with it though!!
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gotta say that i disagree that nobody fights for buck. in s5 taylor said it best: buck's life is full of meaningful relationships, actually. every person of the firefam would fight for and support buck. he is and will never be alone again in his life, especially during the hard times (which they reiterated in 8x05). meanwhile, we see thus being contrasted with tommy not having any kind if support system like that. the same seemed to be the case for taylor. i know people want tommy to fight for this, and i agree that i definitely need him to check his trauma and fears to work this out with buck. but buck is the main character that has had seasons of alleged development. he died and came back, got clarity, was supposed to finally feel good in his own skin, worked out his childhood trauma with his parents in therapy, formed a support system, now discovered he is bisexual and felt free with it. and now tommy is the only one who should grovel? i get the idea but. evan buckley is the character we have seen grow and learn. i want him to put in the work as well. look at how he fought for his job when he thought he would lose it forever. THAT is what i need from him rn. if he is just giving this up with a shrug, then i don't want bucktommy in canon. we have seen tommy taking care of buck and supporting him in all his shenanigans. i need to see that buck is absolutely serious about this and ready to fight for it. if he doesn't, he still hasn't found his true love or still doesn't know what he wants in life. i am bored by this. we have been here multiple times already. do something else with evan buckley finally or just allow him to be a bachelor forever.
okay yes buck has meaningful platonic and familial relationships.
no romantic partner has fought for him. abby ghosted him because of her own issues even though she's a fucking grown ass woman, ali got a reality check and broke up with him when he was in recovery after nearly dying, which okay, fair enough. and while i believe taylor did nothing wrong in reporting the jonah story, the narrative wants us to think she prioritised her work, and she did betray buck's trust which, again, buck wanted to protect his firehouse (which is his family) so he wasn't being objective. reporters exposing scandals within govt orgs that are supposed to protect the public is not a bad thing, actually. the only time he's broken up with someone first is natalia and we were told it's because she was obsessed with his died-and-came-back experience.
and listen. i love tommy more than anything. but buck is still the main character. we're going to see buck going through the breakup, not tommy. we're not going to get much about tommy's past. we're not going to get any scenes with tommy and another character if buck isn't also there. you remember karen going to chimney and them day drinking together because they thought hen was being unfaithful (again)? i wish we could see tommy and chimney talking about their buckleys. but the way the show got rid of all minor characters and consistently treats LIs as nothing more than LIs... i'm not hopeful. we'll get one scene with tommy's Explanation and i'm not even hopeful it's gonna be well written (but i'm sure lou will be serving. god. they wrote such a shitty break up scene and he fucking ATE.)
yeah, buck fucked up by jumping the gun and asking tommy to move in with him when he couldn't even say the i love you, and i hope this will be addressed in future eps. but tommy immediately ended the relationship because he Knows Better and left buck heartbroken. this is what happened on the show. the average viewer isn't doing ten layers of analysis to understand tommy's perspective, nor should they have to. i love the metas, i'm digging into tommy's headspace in my next fix it fic, but this is still the dumb weewoo show.
i don't think tommy needs to grovel, i don't think he's the Bad Guy in this story, i have a lot of empathy for tommy and so does the GA! they're not mad at tommy, they want him back! they want bucktommy back! and i want them both to fight for each other, to apologise and admit to their fuck ups and admit how much they care about each other and that they want to be each other's forever love! i want them to say i love you!
but buck is still the protagonist in this story and i don't want to see him running back to someone who broke up with him in such a way that had him asking "wait, did you just break up with me?" because again, this is what happened on our screens. i want tommy making the first move, opening the door for reconciliation, showing that he knows he made a mistake out of fear from his past trauma, for buck to then know he is wanted, that tommy came back for him, and then put in the effort to fight for them.
hope this makes sense. and as always, for people reading this - this is not the space for you to bash on buck's previous LIs, please take it elsewhere.
#asks#Anonymous#bucktommy#as someone who's been in buck's shoes#you don't know how meaningful it is when someone comes back for you#its only happened once in my life and even though we ended up falling out again i will always remember her as the one friend who came back#yeah yeah i'm too attached to buck because we are the same person. leave me alone lmao
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So there's this quote that I keep seeing on my Pinterest and EVERY TIME I go lol hey it's Broters or lol hey it's Prison duo but I wanna talk about it for a min cause sjkfkfkfkf I'm so normal
If u wanna I'm gonna yell about it below the cut :)
(Disclaimer it's all just incoherent ramblings at *checks watch* sometime around 1 AM but there's some sense to it I promise just trust me /lh/silly/hj)
So the quote is short, it’s just-
"Icarus should have waited for nightfall. The moon would have never let him go" - Nina Mouawad, blue sun
And I shake it. I shake it around. There's so much symbolism of Icarus and the sun. Icarus and Apollo. I always make comparisons of "hey what is Icarus's sun" cause I think it's many things- not even just Fable, though in some ways it could be the sun for Icarus. The thing causing them to fall, but he's always more Daedalus coded consistently.
Icarus's sun and Icarus's ocean I feel are two very similar things. The whole the sun is what causes Icarus to drown in the first place idea, is basically what I'm getting at.
I say many words but to try to shorten it, Icarus's sun is their fathers words, the idea they were something more than they were (something *better*). Their sun was just a touch of praise and validation (something they had been starved of for so so long). At the time, with fable, it may have still been out of reach for them. But, it was attainable. And that's all that matters to Icarus, isn't it?
Basically, their sun is the idea they can fix their mistakes. The idea that they could do something right for once. The thought that they could fix their relationships with the people they cared about (who they repeatedly pushed away for a taste of sunlight)
But, that sun isn't really the sun. it was the water that swallowed them whole as they fell deeper and deeper into what they deemed as trying to fix things. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, they couldn't quite tell anymore. Their ocean was the thoughts that came with flying, the thoughts that drowned them in their own mind. (The thoughts that told them they were doing the right thing. Their lungs filling with salt as the things around them told them this wasn't right, told them that he was wrong.)
The water was the trust they would tell themself Fable earned. (Maybe it was wrongly placed- but who else could Icarus have believed they could place that same trust on then) That's my whole "Icarus falls for a taste of the sun, but they chose the wrong sun to believe in" idea.
So that's the sun and the water blah blah blah /lh I'm yapping too much. I say "I try to shorten it” and then yap for an hour/silly
Now to the moon symbolism. So- Rae is alwyas moon and stars coded. As it goes- void prince my beloved.
Centross I say is moon coded personally. In my heart.
So, the moon symbolism I know of and think of off the top of my head are Cycles, immortality/eternity, the soul, enlightenment but also like dark side of the moon shit. But we go with the hey it's she who guides my way through the darkest of nights type stuff-yknow. With a quick google search and clicking on the first page that came up it's all I said before also can be like realm between conscious and unconscious, capacity for reflection and adaptation, decline of life and sleep. Which- some of those are namely Icarus coded but. Yknow.
Now, Rae and Cen are Icarus's moon because they're the things guiding them. Keeping them together. Helping control the tides and the storms within them. The moon reflects the suns light in the middle of the night- helping people see. They're trying to get Icarus to see what fables actual motive is.
See the moon never stays the same. It's always changing. And that's not a bad thing. They were trying to help Icarus learn that- yet they do what they do and pick something that they've picked before (the repetitive cycle continues) and pick Fable over other people. He's not consistent, yet they don't *really* remember that. But he doesn't change. He's predictable even if just in tone and inflection, but also action. And looks and. A lot of things about Fable stay the same. Have *stayed* the same since their childhood, no matter what they do or don't remember they can grasp that.
Rae or Centross would always try to catch them. They've shown it in the past with actions and words and they've shown it at that time with fable when Rae would still try to check in on their brother and Centross would get Icarus out of their house before his death, and show up to them/check in on them after. They're there, and they try. Fable doesn't, and that's the difference.
Rae and Centross would not let Icarus go until it was life or death. Fable, was fully going to kill Icarus for power. If that's not immediately letting them fall, then I don't know what is.
This is all a stretch but. Shaking it. I'm so normal. Arararah.
Thank you for reading my silly worbs come back later for more silly and more words :3
#I guess this just turned into me ranting about symbolism of the moon#sorry bout that#you get my silly incoherent ramblings and fun thoguhts thsy don’t make sense#I’m gonna go eep now#gn chattt#fable smp#fablesmp#fablesmpblr#fsmp#fsmpblr#icarus morningstar#david centross mistvale#rae morningstar#Broters#Prison duo#i have so many thoughts
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hello all!! sorry for being so inactive recently and for my hiatus going on longer than promised, but!!! i come bearing gifts in the form of sketches that should hopefully tide you over until i start posting regularly again, and act as an apology for being gone so long :)
in order we have:
silly bill cipher!
more silly bill cipher! (fun fact: i drew him once like 10 years ago and it turned out awful so i didn’t draw him again until these sketches!)
silvia on her way to deliver groceries to that mysterious shack in the woods, and bonnie complaining the whole way there
some test sketches of silvia at around 20-ish years old
diane trying to do her homework for astrophysics and ford questioning why she’s even taking the course in the first place
a lil detailed sketch of diane cause i love her <333
#nell's void#gravity falls#gravity falls oc#gravity falls ocs#gf oc#gf ocs#oc: silvia herrera#oc: bonnie wightman#oc: diane orosco#stanford pines#young ford pines#ford pines#bill cipher#verse: in the beginning there was chaos#verse: drinking in the warm sunshine#verse: find me at the height of noon#i swear i am actually working on actual stuff!!#i just get nervous working digitally cause it feels so professional and serious#and i just wanna be silly#i actually do have a piece i’m working on working on#i’m just a master procrastinator :)#also i love how you can tell where i gave up with the anatomy#i am getting better/more consistent with it though!!#artists on tumblr
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Do you conlang? I was wondering if you had naming languages (or possibly even more developed ones) for pulling the words you use. I tried to search your blog but didn't find anything, wouldn't be surprised if the feature is just busted tho. Your worldbuilding is wonderful and I particularly enjoy the anthropological and linguistic elements.
Ok the thing is I had kind of decided I was not going to do any conlanging because I don't feel like I'm equipped to do a good job of it, like was fully like "I'm just going to do JUST enough that it doesn't fail an immediate sniff test and is more thoughtful than just keysmashing and putting in vowels". And then have kinda been conlanging anyway (though not to a very deep and serious extent. I maybe have like....an above average comprehension of how language construction works via willingness to research, but that's not saying much, also I can never remember the meanings of most linguistic terms like 'frictives' or etc off the top of my head. I'm just kinda raw dogging it with a vague conceptualization of what these things mean)
I do at least have a naming language for Wardi (and more basic rules for other established languages) but the rudimentary forms of it were devised with methods much shakier and less linguistically viable than even the most basic naming language schemes, and I only went back over it LONG after I had already made a bunch of words so there's some inconsistencies with consonant presence and usage. (This can at least be justified because it IS a language that would have a lot of loanwords and would be heavily influenced by other language groups- Burri being by far the most significant, Highland-Finnic and Yuroma-Lowlands also being large contributors)
The 'method' I used was:
-Skip basic construction elements and fully move into devising necessary name words, with at least a Vibe of what consonants are going to be common and how pronunciation works -Identify some roots out of the established words and their meanings. Establish an ongoing glossary of known roots/words. -Construct new words based in root words, or as obvious extensions/variants of established words. -Get really involved in how the literal meanings of some words might not translate properly to english, mostly use this to produce a glossary of in-universe slang. -Realize that I probably should have at least some very basic internal consistency at this point. -Google search tutorials on writing a naming language. -Reverse engineer a naming language out of established words, and ascribe all remaining inconsistencies to being loanwords or just the mysteries of life or whatever.
I do at least have some strongly established pronunciation rules and a sense of broad regional dialect/accents.
-'ai' words are almost always pronounced with a long 'aye' sound.
-There is no 'Z' or 'X' sound, a Wardi speaker pronouncing 'zebra' would go for 'tsee-brah', and would attempt 'xylophone' as 'ssye-lohp-hon'
-'V' sounds are nearly absent and occur only in loanwords, and tend to be pronounced with a 'W' sound. 'Virsum' is a Highland word (pronounced 'veer-soom') denoting ancestry, a Wardi speaker would go 'weer-sum'.
-'Ch' spellings almost always imply a soft 'chuh' sound when appearing after an E, I, or O (pelatoche= pel-ah-toh-chey), but a hard 'kh' sound after an A or U (odomache= oh-doh-mah-khe). When at the start of a word, it's usually a soft 'ch' unless followed by an 'i' sound (chin (dog) is pronounced with a hard K 'khiin', cholem (salt) is pronounced with a soft Ch 'cho-lehm')
-Western Wardin has strong Burri cultural and linguistic influence, and a distinct accent- one of the most pronounced differences is use of the ñ sound in 'nn' words. The western city of Ephennos is pronounced 'ey-fey-nyos' by most residents, the southeastern city of Erubinnos is pronounced 'eh-roo-been-nos' by most residents. Palo's surname 'Apolynnon' is pronounced 'A-puh-lee-nyon' in the Burri and western Wardi dialects (which is the 'proper' pronunciation, given that it's a Kos name), but will generally be spoken as 'Ah-poh-leen-non' in the south and east.
-R's are rolled in Highland-Finnic words. Rolling R's is common in far northern rural Wardi dialects but no others. Most urban Wardi speakers consider rolling R's sort of a hick thing, and often think it sounds stupid or at least uneducated. (Brakul's name should be pronounced with a brief rolled 'r', short 'ah' and long 'uul', but is generally being pronounced by his south-southeastern compatriots with a long unrolled 'Brah' sound).
Anyway not really a sturdy construction that will hold up to the scrutiny of someone well equipped for linguistics but not pure bullshit either.
#I actually did just make a post about this on my sideblog LOL I think in spite of my deciding not to conlang this is going to go full#full conlanging at some point#The main issue is that the narrative/dialogue is being written as an english 'translation' (IE the characters are speaking in their actual#tongues and it's being translated to english with accurate meaning but non-literal treatment)#Which you might say like 'Uh Yeah No Shit' but I think approaching it with that mindset at the forefront does have a different effect than#just fully writing in english. Like there's some mindfulness to what they actually might be saying and what literal meanings should be#retained to form a better understanding of the culture and what should be 'translated' non-literally but with accurate meaning#(And what should be not translated at all)#But yeah there's very little motivation for conlanging besides Pure Fun because VERY few Wardi words beyond animal/people/place names#will make it into the actual text. Like the only things I leave 'untranslated' are very key or untranslatable concepts that will be#better understood through implication than attempts to convey the meaning in english#Like the epithet 'ganmachen' is used to compliment positive traits associated with the ox zodiac sign or affectionately tease#negative ones. This idea can be established pretty naturally without exposition dumps because the zodiac signs are of cultural#importance and will come up frequently. The meaning can get across to the reader pretty well if properly set up.#So like leaving it as 'ganmachen' you can get 'oh this is an affectionate reference to an auspicious zodiac sign' but translating#it as the actual meaning of 'ox-faced' is inevitably going to come across as 'you look like a cow' regardless of any zodiac angle#^(pretty much retyped tags from other post)#Another aspect is there's a few characters that have Wardi as a second language and some of whom don't have a solid grasp on it#And I want to convey this in dialogue (which is being written in english) but I don't want it to just be like. Random '''broken''' english#like I want there to be an internal consistency to what parts of the language they have difficulties with (which then has implications for#how each language's grammar/conjugation/etc works). Like Brakul is fairly fluent in Wardi at the time of the story but still struggles#with some of the conjugation (which is inflectional in Wardi) especially future/preterite tense. So he'll sometimes just use the#verb unconjugated or inappropriately in present tense. Though this doesn't come across as starkly in text because it's#written in english. Like his future tense Wardi is depicted as like 'I am to talk with him later' instead of 'I'll talk with him later'#Which sounds unnatural but not like fully incorrect#But it would sound much more Off in Wardi. Spanish might be a better example like it would be like him approaching it with#'Voy a hablar con él más tarde' or maybe 'Hablo con él más tarde' instead of 'Hablaré con él más tarde'#(I THINK. I'm not a fluent spanish speaker sorry if the latter has anything wrong with it too)
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i would take their poison
Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)
#moshi monsters#sweet tooth moshi monsters#experimentation i am COG AWFUL at digital dear goodness i was playing with coloring and transparency and all those fun digital doodads.#next time i probably wont have black outline or i'll do it differently. or i'll try well. not doing this. it sure was a process im#i'm an amateur everyone who masically only doodles. does the sketch look better than the final. kinda! but thats okay because im learning#and y'know what. sometimes in life you just need to draw faves no consequences#for how saturated a character they are i kinda feel like i pastelled things too muc and trapped myself with my convoluted layer setup but m#it was looking WEIRD with everything at full force#maybe the sparkles look dumb maybe the hair looks dumb and out of place and why i kinda made the lollipop a little funky too#uhh. first digital piece posted... ever?#the arm is SO fucky i am not that was. thats not what perspective is spam#yes this is what i spent a good chunk of today doing after i started working on coloring it and then. decided to go for it.#cooolrs a little inaccurate on the horns and such but man one of the biggest art things was like#i dont have to have everything at their perfect hex codes all the time. this would look way worse if i just. used their standard colors#yeah this is. instead of looking like its forward and to the right it kinda just looks like they have a Bigger hypno-lolly#especialy becase. i did not bother on the gloves and platforms i the sparkles work with 2 kinda sorta but you know#im practicing! i'm learning! i'll get better and learn how to do things more effectively!#anyway. sweet toof#though hey their arm looks even more fucked in the line art and sketch SO#note to future self have a Consistent Line Art Size so that if you feel like the line art looks like shit during coloring you dont have to#gamble on what size it was while changing it#sketch lollipop looks better i should have kept it small. but its fine. we'll get em next time boys (tm)#yes i know my gif post was so fancy and then the drawing is just THIS
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In retrospect it's really funny that the one thing I really honed in on during the first time I went through the Sky arc was Joshua's appearance (characters love to point out his mop of dark hair and amber eyes and I really really thought that it would relate to some important plot point somehow) but while replaying SC I found there's this one scene where it almost pays off (albeit, in a very silly way):
During the infiltration of the Ouroboros Lab, Anelace informs the party of how Joshua is also in the lab. If a player has been paying attention, they can probably guess that something about this feels off because Anelace mentions how she "recognized his clothes" but she has no reason to be familiar with the new look that he dons in this game yet (and there's no reason for Joshua to have switched back to his old outfit either).
But, if you're me, then you instead notice that she does not take the chance to mention his amber eyes. And, as we find out, there's a good reason for that!
...After all, this Joshua is fake, and has no amber eyes. Of course Anelace didn't see them; she couldn't have.
#and a big thank you to trails in the database since i forgot to screenshot the actual anelace line#trails in the sky#trails in the sky spoilers#trails in the sky sc spoilers#trails in the sky sc#joshua bright#anelace elfead#i'm sorry i swear i have serious thoughts about this game sometimes#unfortunately this is not one of them. every mention of both his dark hair and amber eyes makes me giggle#and it's something i will never not take the chance to joke about#but if you want actual commentary#i think it's really interesting how estelle yet again gets baited w the promise of seeing joshua again#(the first time being when renne hands her that letter to get her out of the way for her tea party)#and she falls for it! again! granted this time she has far more of an excuse (anelace is a trusted ally and has no reason to lie) but#it's such a consistent gap in her own judgement. she's learning to get better about it but it's part of what makes her so compelling#autumnal rambles#trails#super excited for the next few scenes in my replay though. i know what's coming next and i am aaaaaaa
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I wish I could control my frustration better
#it always makes me ''lose'' the argument with my mom#even though I'm only getting more and more upset because she denies fucking reality for her own truth#and I feel like I am beating my head against a wall with her#I just wish she would have had more motivation to leave this shitty apartment she apparently hates so much but nope#because she knows she fucking can't afford anything else and refuses to look for any type of better job#despite saying she was going to after the first couple years of hating it#I just can't#like she always conveniently forgets when I tell her no#this time it was me shutting down going somewhere as I wanted to go elsewhere for this specific thing#she's upset now because she forgot I shut this thought down two weeks ago#and ugh she's so incredibly selfish#like the trip is a day to the beach for the dog#I want to go to the consistently cleaner lake#she wanted to take her to the tick surrounded algaebloom infested lake#because she wants a fucking pickle poutine and cheescurds#She thinks I'm being unreasonable
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baked a cake from scratch, fed the dogs and the father, cleaned the kitchen, wrapped christmas presents. wearing a beige sweaterdress and black ballet flats, hair in bun. reading a profile on hilaria baldwin…the cottagecore tradwife in me is winning i fear
#im being sarcastic but honestly though i keep having the creeping and uncharitable thought of like. i don’t think this is quite as hard as#my mother has always made it seem. and my father is literally zero help and she works really hard but also there was always the not-always-#unspoken implication that the reason the house was always kind of messy and disorganized and everything was kind of chaotic and accompanied#by a distinct sense of overwhelm was because of my sister and I#either our stuff or our actions or the fact that taking care of us took up too much time she could devote to other stuff#but neither my sister nor i live at home full time anymore and when we do at least i am objectively more helpful than anything else#so im like okay well that wasn’t it then#and like i also get that everyone thinks they could do better until THEY get married and have kids and then you see#but the backlash against the pressure for everything to be picture perfect has turned into (imo) a general “relatable” idea that#adulthood and especially marriage and parenthood is nothing but a slide into complacency and chaos forever and like. i just don’t agree wit#that. obviously you cannot live as you did as a single person or a non parent but the prevailing image of parenthood i see advertised as#“realistic” is one where everyone is constantly exhausted unhappy and living in filth#i See a question from a woman asking how to SURVIVE nine whole days of winter break with her children. SURVIVE? wtf?#i do think parents of today spend too much time with their children and that’s part of the issue but also like. i cannot believe that#everything is as thoroughly and completely awful as it is pretty much always portrayed nowadays#and how i see it reflected at me. and this isn’t like a housewives don’t work aaaa thing because no.#but like. when i see people being like you can’t expect your sahm to get the laundry done OR dinner made OR the house clean on a consistent#basis EVER i am kind of like…..but literally what are you doing then if none of those things??#cause unless you homeschool or have literal infants (whole different ballgame) then like…what are you doing#maybe an unpopular opinion but I think a lot of women are bad at being housewives. because it is a skill that women used to study and learn#and now it’s not but it’s still the most important job in society#so we took away all the instruction manuals for the backbone of society and now who comes the closest to approximating an educational resou#? influencers. which is horrible because any person you are taking advice from on Instagram is someone with a public Instagram account#which automatically makes them odd and untrustworthy and not someone at least I would want to emulate.#my mother doesn’t apply to this she is a great homemaker her issues are (1) time management (2) fatigue (3) starts too many projects#but i digress#i suppose i shouldn’t say that I reject the idea children turn your life to chaos because I don’t. but I do reject the idea that#the chaos of parenthood sentences everyone to a perpetual state of overwhelm and reactivity#that simply has never been the case for people in any time period before now even when raising children and the daily business of living wa#far more labor intensive
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Current status: bravely battling tummy aches
#hot bitch ibs#Maybe it's bc I'm back on my meds#hopefully it'll get better as I get more consistent#journal#all jokes here#why am I awake rn though#Its 3:18 am
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what's a really unfortunate discovery in my life in the last two years is that my boss told me i was racing against my beeper counting seconds last year and confiscated it (secret skill unlocked: can count to fifteen seconds in your head with extreme accuracy) and i'm like he cannot be for real with this, how do you Race Time. and then i play guitar against a metronome and You'll Never Fucking Guess What My Fatal Flaw Is
#'roo are you subconciously racing the metronome' YES I AM AND I'M BAFFLED#HOW did this man watch a horse gallop through a pair of binoculars and know that i am locked in mortal combat with the passage of time#truly insane#anyway we're uh. gonna get better at yknow. letting beats pass.#i think as with horse riding i play music more accurately without the metronome#or possibly i just do whatever i like#i distinctly remember my violin teacher never being able to change the way the uhhhhhh what do you call ems#the one concerto i had i just decided how it sounded and that's how it was and were my notes all a consistent length? pfff no#it sounds good though#oh that's the other thing i never got to do like level testing or whatever for any instrument ever?#but i randomly found out last year that i was at least like intermediate like halfway through the levels or whatever for violin?#false advertising i keep telling people i learnt nothing in eight years#but also can i technically pull off a 3 page concerto? yes. do my hands shake so much my bow sometimes jumps on the strings? yes.#anyway this seemed like a funny story for the masses#get to know you time with roo
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"I believe that man would defend your honor at every turn and take your secrets to the grave. I think he would fight the entire city for you." During a time when the Warrior of Light is unsure of who she can trust, Emmanellain de Fortemps is not particularly helpful at calming her fears. And while Riona has her reservations about the Lord Commander as well, Tataru is convinced this is the start of of something grand.
#I'm so sorry but 3.0 Emmanellain is very punchable#He gets better but that punch from Thancred felt good#Even though I'm doing all this stuff for the FFXIV Write challenge apparently I've got more in me#you know it's really amazing how much FFXIV has dragged me back into my fangirl era#I checked my old ff dot net account#my first fic was in 2001#yeah I'm old#and I was reasonably consistent until 2016#and then nothing until silly little me decided to see what all the fuss was about with FFXIV#no one tried to get me to play#I just wandered into it#and now I am unwell for a french elf and several others
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do you mind if i ramble in the tags about my weird relationship with making art in fandom for a second
#as someone who is studying art as a career one thing i have realized and also been explicitly told by various teachers#is the fact that having a 'consistent' art style is so overvalued sometimes that it ends up limiting you as an artist#literally i'd say 99 percent of the stuff we do in uni doesn't require consistency. it's actually valued when there isn't one#after all it is about learning and honing skills isn't it#so it has kind of put my personal conflicts in a different perspective#because before i started this degree i used to struggle so much with creation in non-academic spaces (which is pretty ironic. i know)#because the ppl and art i admired was mostly composed of art in fandom spaces#and the most appreciated artists in these spaces tend to be the ones who have a nice defined unique style#which isn't bad. i actually do still wish i could reach something like that#but it made me not want to create as much as i desired because i felt 'inconsistent' and i took that as a negative quality in my art#and it was so frustrating because nothing i tried seemed to 'stick'#which was also due to the fact that none of the varyingly different styles of drawings i posted seemed to reach many people#and yes i have heard time and again the whole schpiel of 'creating for yourself is better and quantity of likes/notes shouldn't mean as muc#to you as long as you're satisfied with your art blah blah blah'– c'mon. we all want our creations to be admired i'm tired of pretending#like i don't. i put it out there for a reason and it is for people to at least acknowledge it. it's the point of fandom. it's community#it's interaction. or at least it should be. that's another conversation though#so anyways since i started uni some time ago this frustration has been receding but it's very much still present#even more so when i get excited about doing/drawing something and then halfway through i get that pull in my chest of like. i'm actually#starting to hate it bc i can't reach what i want to#and so there's this disconnect that happens because i have many ideas and desires to create but i feel (even if it might not be true)#that i don't have the skillset to meet those ideas#which literally happens to almost if not everyone i know i'm not alone in this. it still sucks though#so i end up with about a dozen unfinished works monthly bc i start it/i reach halfway and hate it/i look at art and get inspired bc artists#in fandom are SO talented/i go back to it/i still can't reach the skill level i desperately want/i abandon it indefinitely#it's a horrible cycle that i really haven't been able to escape lately#it's also worse when you're at a time in your life when you don't actually have the opportunity or the time to try to achieve consistency#because you really just physically don't have the time to practice. which is the number one advice every good artist will give you#i am running out of tags but the point is. i hope we stop subconsciously putting consistent art styles in a higher pedestal bc it can be#very stressful for artists who struggle to find that in their creation#art related
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MH3 limited format is kinda bad tbh. Most of the archetypes simply don't work if you don't get a specific card in the draft or multiple bomb rares. The eldrazi deck is way too strong and it's extremely unfun to play against. If OTJ was a prince set done right then MH3 is a prince set done wrong.
#idk I still want more time with the format but i am not really enjoying myself#and I'm finding it very difficult to place well or make decks that actually function using the commons and uncommons#its like compared the eldrazi the other archetypes are way too narrow to function correctly on a consistent basis#ive had both a good blue black and a good jeskai deck but otherwise its just a bunch of strikeouts#kinda just sucks#I'll play more next week because i really want to like the format#constructed is an absolute blast though#and I'm excited to get some new cards for my commander decks as well#i just wish the limited environment functioned a bit better
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Lmao why is my chapter summaries of HtN document over 3000 words long already and I’m not even two thirds of the way into HtN
#i don’t think i’m even being that exhaustive. i’m not going in with my personal opinions even when i’m tempted to#i’m not writing out quotes in full#i’m probably not even writing down every plot point in a fully accurate way. i’m truly just trying to write a Concise summary#so that this book doesn’t confuse me any more than it’s already trying to#i do have to say i’m wondering if my brain was just smooth the first time i read this? because i am understanding it pretty well#i think the first time i just Did Not get the lobotomy thing. like i did and didn’t#i think i thought harrow had forgotten due to trauma? i forgot that she fully did this to herself on purpose#plus i didn’t get the canaan house interludes. i was just like ‘well this is pointless because it didn’t happen this way’ so i skimmed them#like no….. harrow’s gaslighting of herself and us is Really Important Actually#because in many ways this stuff actually Is happening and Did happen#the summary is still helping though i think#like i’m planning to read nona soon but if life interferes (as it so frequently does when you’re 27 and have a job and responsibilities#and neuroses) and i don’t get to it right away; i can refer to this document#instead of rereading a delightful but fairly thick book all over again for the THIRD time lol#anyway if anyone wants my doc feel free to hmu but i’ll warn you there are probably way better ones out there that weren’t written#by a sleep deprived idiot who refuses to be consistent with epithets and abbreviations and spoils a lot of stuff#(i’m not calling gideon the first ortus)#personal
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hi!! i’ve been searching high and low for fanfic since seeing deadpool and wolverine LOL so i was wondering if you could do either head canons or a small fic (whichever you prefer) about deadpool x reader x wolverine? either a poly relationship or both of them trying to compete and woo reader? maybe it could take place during the movie events? tysm!
Your relationship with Wade and Logan oftentimes consisted of them trying to hog your for themselves, which leads to the other getting jealous and or upset, so much so to the point where they’ll end up squabbling over you preferred more.
This is not new as the pair seemingly have something against sharing but overtime it does get better and they’re less likely to fight over you and who gets your attention.
They’ve even had it scheduled out at one point but that didn’t last as either Wade or Logan would accuse the other of prolonging their time with you to the point it was intersecting with the other pre established times slots.
Logan: Oi scrotum face! You’ve been hogging them five minutes more than established!
Wade, acting coy as he clings onto you; oh am I? I’m pretty sure my cuddle session was 11:30 until 12:30pm-
Logan: it’s 12:35 dickhead!
Wade: *gasps* oh my gosh you’re right! I guess time must’ve slipped my mind when cuddling my pookie here *boops you on the nose*
Logan: *not too impressed*
When they’re not at each other’s throats over who you love more, they’re wooing you as though you’re not already fucking dating the pair of them. Particularly Wade more so than Logan. 💀
You’d find Wade draped across your bed with a rose held between in his hands, buck naked and with nothing but a pillow to cover his dick or ‘the surprise’ he calls it.
‘You can peg me tonight.’ ;) - Wade
‘I am so honoured, ass up baby girl.’ - you (probably)
Logan isn’t use to soft touches of love, he really isn’t and so if you were to ever kiss the places where his wounds once were before they healed, he’d melt. His smile is soft as he silently watched you kiss the knuckles, completely unafraid of his claws popping out and or caressing the calluses on his palms. At long last his soul was at ease, his mind was quiet as all Logan could focus on was you being tender and soft with him as though he hadn’t lived through the past 200 years of pain, trauma and suffering.
You treated him like he was just Logan Howlett and nothing more, not wolverine, not weapon X, just Logan and only Logan for that’s who the man sitting next to you was. You helped numb the pain whilst holding his hand through the nights were he awakes breathless and his claws out and ready.
Logan panics if he were to see that he accidentally nicked you with his claws during his nightmares, for hurting you was the last thing he ever wanted to do, and would try to push you away whenever you tried to get closer to him. He has hurt you and he shouldn’t be worthy of your comfort when all he could see was the really small nick on your arm.
‘Logan-‘
‘Don’t. I hurt you.’
‘It’s only a small cut, I’m fine Logan please.’
‘No! What if next time I cut you badly?’
Your heart broke whenever he got like this, so naturally you had to force yourself into his arms and make him come to terms with the fact that he would never hurt your willingly and grab ahold of his face, resting your foreheads together as you told him to focus on you and your breathing; showing him that you were alive and well.
Wade might as well have whined when you kissed his skin where wounds should’ve been before they healed. They’re his favourite moments between the two of you and would even imitate it back to you, but without the wounds, so it’s just him kissing your skin wherever whenever. He might even blow raspberries to keep the spirit of your somewhat goofy relationship alive and well.
Wade has photos of your dates, movie nights and such kept in somewhere in his room, whether that he a box or album, he has them and will look at them and smile because he’s a sap for making memories that’ll live forever much like him. He cares deeply about you and would even keep tokens or other random things as mementos too.
Some are more weirder than others.
‘This was a ticket when we went to the arcade.’
‘Oh this is that stick we both said looks like a penis when we took Dogpool to the dog park.’
‘This was the bandaid that you tried to use to cover my wounds before you found out either of me or wolvie could heal-‘
Logan and Wade don’t like to share, that we already know, but if someone who wasn’t aware of your polyamorous relationship with the two and decided to shoot their shot, they’d know first hand how much these men don’t play with you as Wade verbally beats them down with his crude sense of humour and Logan hovers over you, glaring as the poor person until they’ve ran away with their tail between their legs.
Remy?
Logan would growl and glare at the man while keeping a possessive hand on your waist, tugging you to his side to show that you were taken, or even have you wear his jacket to further get the point across to Remy.
Wade would just make a big joke out of it all the while having his hand in your back pocket. ‘You cant have our pookie, go get your own magic mike.’
Also when it comes to cuddling at night your either between Wade and Logan or Logan is in between you and Wade, or Wade is in between you and Logan. It changes now and then but when you’re in the middle of them both, it’s the safest you’ll ever be in your entire life, nothing can get to you and you can rest easily knowing that you’ve got two men who’d do anything to keep you safe and secure.
#mcu x you#mcu x reader#mcu imagines#mcu x y/n#mcu imagine#marvel x you#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#marvel x y/n#marvel imagines#deadpool x you#deadpool imagines#deadpool imagine#deadpool x reader#wade wilson imagines#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson imagine#wolverine imagine#wolverine imagines#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#Logan howlett imagines#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool
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The reason why they fell so hard.
Images found on Pinterest. Each spread consists of 5 cards. The messages will be written as if it were from the POV of the person you were asking about.
Group 1
9 of pentacles, queen of swords, 9 of swords, 5 of swords, the Sun
You're so freaking addictive. Every time you push me away, I can't help but to love you more. I was just raised that way. I was taught to work hard for what I wanted. I was taught that love should be deserved and was not to be messed with. I was taught that caring was fighting. Fighting for the sake of those you love. Fighting against those you love. I know, I was not raised in the best conditions. I know, I may not know what love is. But I know that I want you. And that, neither of us can deny. I fell for you because you never let me have my ways. You call me out and push me to be better. You never need me. You never wait for me. You just are. And you are perfect. Everything about you is rock solid. I don't have to worry whether you're gonna make it out. Because I know whether I'm here or not, you'll make it to the top. You did not wait for me to be who you are and that won't change. Whether I'm around or not, you're still gonna slay. And to know that someone so strong cares about me fills me with pride and desire. You got under my skin. Even if I wanted to push you away, I couldn't. You're everything I see. All I think about. Every decision I make is tainted in your color. Your warmth has penetrated through the cracks of my walls and now I cannot help but to seek for their comfort. I was alone. I was cold. I felt scared and misunderstood. I was tired. So exhausted of having to work so hard only to be met with silence. I struggled so hard to be where I am. The road to success is lonely, I've been told. Though I knew it, I couldn't help but to hope that I would find people along the way who would be there through thick and thin. But there were none. And then you came in. And everything changed. My sky is clearer because you chased the storm. How could I not fall for you after all?
Complementary information : this person is first and foremost attracted to your mindset as proven by the fair amount of sword cards in the spread. They may be a sapio sexual. If you tend to be considered the brains of your friend group, then this is one of the reasons why this person is head over heals for you. Another thing I'm strongly picking up on is sarcasm. You may not hold your tongue in presence of this person. You may tease them a lot or downright mock them when they're being rude or acting silly. There may not be a lot of people around this person that dare talk back to them. But you do. Somehow this shows this person that you are someone they can count on. Another important factor is your independence and your abundance. If you have your own business or you are a very active person, you make your own revenue and are able to provide for yourself and your family, then this person is in awe of your success. Even more so if you happen to be popular among your peers. You leave a very good impression on this person because of how serious and dedicated you are to yourself, your work, of how straightforward and fair you can be with others. You have a very strong moral code that gets this person weak in their knees. Your generosity may also touch them deeply. If we're talking about physical aspects of you, what stands out to me is that you may look very youthful and bright compared to other people. That may be true especially if you have a style that is a stark contrast from the rest of your circle. Or at least you're very different from what this person is used to. You represent some kind of extraordinary factor in their life. For instance, if this person has always lived in one city and in this place they only see very skinny and pale people but you are a bit chubby and of a darker skin tone, you will automatically strike this person right away. This person seems to be attracted to what is different from them. You represent the unknown, adventure. That may be very electrifying to them. There may be a bit of fetichism hiding under all that attraction.
Group 2
Ace of pentacles, Wheel of fortune, Magician, 3 of cups, 2 of cups
You took my breath away. The moment I met you, I knew I had to have you. You became as essential to me as oxygen in a matter of seconds. It's not just because of your beauty, your grace, the way you talk or cary yourself. It's about how perfect our meeting was, how in a heartbeat you became the answer to all of my prayers. I didn't know I needed you until I laid eyes on you and God do I feel thankful for being able to experience this. I feel so lucky being with you. It's like you're every one of my dreams come true. You're smart, patient, kind, loving, generous. You never bring me down. You never ask of me more than I can give. You never give me more than I can chew. You're always so fair and just. You just have that magic to you that I can explain. It's like someone has casted a spell and now all I can see and think of is you. To be honest, I wouldn't mind you casting a spell on me if that meant that I got to be with you for the rest of my life. You're so fun to be around. So chill. I just feel so good with you. Our dynamic is perfect. We match like to puzzle pieces. Made for each other. I'm sure fate has a lot to do with this. You were my destiny. I'm sure of it. Our meeting was no coincidence. I mean, you came in at the perfect time and the perfect place! If that's not destiny, I don't know what is.
Note from reader : this person's energy is so sweet omg they're just in awe of you. I get a very flirty energy from them. I got the message that they were especially drawn to your lips and hips. I heard "hips don't lie" lmao They think you're their Shakira. This person likes to tease apparently. For some I'm getting that you're a witch or you're into the occult arts like tarot and such. This person may tease you about this but they have nothing against it. It's just something they find hard to believe. But when they see you they can't help but to question everything they think they know. They legit think that you put a spell on them because of that. This person is aware that you use tarot as a way to manifest. They feel intrigued by that. You intrigue them more than you will ever know. I get a lot of sexual energy coming from this person, though the cards don't show it as much. However, I'm picking up on the fact that your person may be in a third party situation. Or at least, they were when you first met. What could have contributed to their attraction for you was the fact that you represented a way out.
Group 3
The Emperor, 3 of cups, The Empress, The Lovers, Judgement
Babe, can't you tell? How could I not fall for you? My princess. My love. You are gorgeous. Gorgeous in every way, as if God himself made sure that your creation would be a success. You are wife material. You are THE woman. Everything about you makes me go crazy. I want to protect and love you with all my might. You are my equal. My other half. The Yin to my Yang. Even if I wanted to hate you, I just couldn't. We're so good together. There isn't even a need to question or doubt it. It makes perfect sense to me that we should be together. You are an absolute queen. You are fierce, strong, independant. You value yourself without bringing others down. You stay true to your word and your principles. You've never been disrespectful to any body. You've built yourself up so brilliantly. You are smart and observant. You always know what to do, what to say, when to talk and when to remain silent. You are perfectly balanced and mature. Your life and accomplishments are the solid proof of your authenticity and worthiness. You are popular, admired among your peers. I always hear such good things about you. How could I not love every part of you? How could I disregard such a gorgeous being? That would be foolish of me. To me, our love is as obvious as the sun rising each moring and the moon shining in the night sky.
Note from reader : if this person hasn't asked you out already, I think they're going to do so soon. And let me tell you, they're no joke. They want to wife you up ASAP. My appologies to gentlemen and non binary people, as the channeled message mainly mentioned women. I feel like even though the message was written this way, the general content still applies to you. If you or this person is a Taurus or an Aries, this is your sign that you picked the right group. Gemini and Scorpio could also be relevant. What this person loves the most about you is your body. I'm hearing Ed Sheeran's song in my head. This person feels a strong magnetic pull towards you that they just cannot resist no matter how hard they try. They've expressed the fact that your personality and ethic is what got them going, but I think what drew them in first were your looks. I'm especially picking up on your curves overall and your sense of fasion. You looked very balanced to this person. And very mature. From first glance they thought "this person knows what they're doing". It's like they thought you purposefully matched certain clothes together because you knew how good it made you look. And looking at you they thought that you would make a good team. After all, this person is represented as the Emperor and you are the Empress. So they may be into fashion as well. Maybe they're the kind to wear couple outfits. And when they met you they immediately pictured you together because your style matched theirs.
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