#hot bitch ibs

[bubblegumbitch143]

Current status: bravely battling tummy aches

[overkonsumption]

if the evil wizard (ibs) doesn’t stop cursing me (giving me stomachaches) i’m gonna start throwing up crying

[moriohpissky]

me: takes sip of iced coffee

my guts: world war 3

[queenimmadolla]

this might be a little gross, but if you’re imagining yourself in a long term relationship with this man, it’s realistic.

this one goes out to all my lactose, IBS, and chronic illness babes.

you never have to be concerned or embarrassed about your bowel movements around eddie. because he will make sure you know his are somehow vastly worse. especially if it’s something you’re insecure about.

man shits. you shit. everybody shits. it’s normal. and he’s a dude. if you live with a dude, you know how dudes are. all of em. doesn’t matter the aesthetic.

it may not make you feel like the hottest thing in the world, but this man thinks you’re hot and wants you comfortable around him, at all times.

✨domesticity✨, bitches.

[jeon-ify]

on live - nakamoto yuta

pairing: yuta (nct) x female reader *

a/n: hello!! this is my first nct smut!! ofc its gonna be of my bias????? yuta is rlly hot in this one and hes super super dom and mean but recently ive been into cnc (its a trauma response or a coping mechanism mannn idk) and i had a dream about yuta last night so i think this would be THE ONE! this might be my most toe curling and nastiest and most graphic smut i’ve ever written and tbh i love it 😁

in which yuta fucks you and makes you touch yourself on camera for him to watch while he’s on tour.

warnings: swearing, dom!yuta x sub!reader, unprotected sex (yeee a big no no) mentions of tossing out birth control (ib @justaaveragereader ), yuta calls reader a bitch, slut, whore, cnc!play, sextape in the making, pussy slapping, titty slapping and sucking, face slapping, spit play, breeding kink, female anatomy, she/her reader, some?jaehyun? sex on live, if i missed anything lmkk

genre: smut, dark romance

mdni. 18+

enjoy nasties

“wait, why are you buying lingerie? isn’t yuta leaving in like 3 days?” your friend asks you as you both decided to shop around for a set of lingerie to prepare for a film that your boyfriend was oh so excited to make.

as you both walked through the last couple of aisles, you find a gorgeous black and pink set. you already knew yuta would go insane over it, already imagining the different positions and scenarios he’d play out for you.

lately, yuta’s been into cnc play. something that he was so unsure and insecure about; but when the topic came up, he brought it up to you. you were always open to trying new things with yuta, as long as you both knew where you stood, and that there was a line.

“girl come look, oh my god…” you hold up the piece for you friend to see, watching the way her eyes shift to the corset area.

“good luck walking normally for the next week. he’s gonna fuck your brains out!” she says, almost too loud for the crowd.

you pick out your size and check out to head home. you throw your bags in the car, finally getting a chance to text your man.

my yuta 🤍: hey baby, i’m on my way home. i’m gonna stop at target really fast

my yuta 🤍: are you home?

y/n: hi baby!!!!!!!!! i’m not home yet

y/n: i’m almost there tho

my yuta 🤍: okay gimme like 20 minutes bb

y/n: okay :3

you pull into your driveway, grabbing your things and rushing inside to hurry into your new set. you quickly showered and did your hair, spraying it to hold the wet hair look. you rubbed on body oil followed by a body shimmer, yuta’s favorite thing you do. you sprayed perfume on your ankles, wrists and neck, wherever yuta would be closest to you.

you also put on a touch of makeup, as yuta loved when you wore makeup, just so he can watch it run down your face when he fucks your throat.

after 20 minutes of getting yourself ready for your man, you unlock the front door, running up the stairs for yuta to see you waiting on your knees in the middle of the bed. you calmed your breathing, nervousness clouding your entire body when you hear the front door slowly open.

the front door was never unlocked unless something was going on— and this had yuta’s blood rushing, knowing you were home with the door open already for him.

“baby? i’m home, why’s the door unlocked?” he yells for you, getting no answer— expecting him to walk upstairs looking for you. you hear him putting some bags down, listening to the jingling of keys and shoes being thrown around.

“my love, i’m not playing this game.” he sighs. you hear him finally walking up the stairs, blood rushing to your ovaries and making your head spin in excitement. he opens your bedroom door, taking in the view before him. you’re on your knees in the middle of the silk covered king bed, with a pink maid lingerie set on, your wet hair almost coming down to your breasts, shifting with every deep breath you take.

you hurriedly finish setting up the camera on the chair across from bed, making sure your hair and outfit looks perfect— if you’re posting this on twitter, it has to be astounding.

you rush to get back into position, hearing yuta’s footsteps approaching. he nears the room, leaving the door completely open. his gaze darkens, curiosity at the scene before him is making his cock hard. he can only wonder what’ll happen next.

“fuckin’ hell. this what you were doing? look at you, pretty girl. is this new?” he walks up to you, reaching for the straps on your fabric, admiring the way your clean skin is perfectly suited by the set you’ve had on.

“all for you, baby. wanted it to be a surprise when you got home. i remember you mentioned you wanted to try cnc, so i got excited.” you breathily laugh. yuta’s fingers run up your neck and down to the valley of your breasts.

“yeah? good memory, baby. what do you say i rip this off you and pound your pretty cunt, hm?” his long hair bounces off his shoulders when he stands up and undresses himself. slides off his white top, his black trousers following suite.

he doesn’t notice the camera at first, but when he catches you looking at the phone on the chair every 20 seconds to make sure it hasn’t fell, his cock (impossibly) gets harder and harder.

“yuta, aren’t you tired from work?” you pretend to push him away from you, but yuta doesn’t budge. he leans over your smaller figure, planting a kiss on your forehead.

the smell of his car is what’s following his body, the new car scent making your head spin. the cologne he wears makes compliment to his aesthetic, edgy and mysterious— with notes of tobacco and ocean breeze. you catch a tiny bit of vanilla as he moves away from you. the mix of fragrances makes your mind fuzzy.

“never too tired to fuck you,” he continues demandingly, cupping your jaw to get a better view of your nervous look. his shoulders are tense and you notice the sweat beginning to form around his chest. “no, yuta. i don’t want to,”

“don’t fight me baby. you’re only making this worse for yourself,” his large hands press your back down onto the mattress, spreading your thighs to kiss around your heat. his teeth magically unbutton the body suit you struggled to clasp together. amazed, you moan out when you feel his teeth graze your cunt through your thin lace panties. he pushes your thighs apart as he kisses and licks you through the thin material.

letting go of your legs, he rips your panties off and licks a long stripe from the top to the bottom of your clit. he sucks at the sensitive area, whimpering and gasping at the taste of you.

your pussy clenches and convulses around his tongue while your thighs attempt to shut around his long haired head. his brown hair is damp with sweat, using his free hand to brush his hair back. he bites at your clit, making your legs twitch. “yuta, stop— please,” you whimper with watery eyes while your orgasm threatens to approach.

he only groans in response, sucking harder and flicking his tongue faster up and down your entire cunt. your orgasm approaches; you release all over the area where a beard would sit.

his stronger hands make impact with your pussy, your body jolting in response. “stop fucking moving. i’m gonna use you how i see fit, am i clear, y/n?”

“but i-“

“but i don’t care. don’t make me tie you down.”

his dark eyes lock into yours, making your heart jump in fear and excitement for what’s about to come. your legs force themselves open while yuta strokes himself slightly and lines his cock up with your soaked, sore cunt. in one thrust, he’s all the way in, giving yourself no time to adjust. he places his hand on your mouth to block out all sound from you. “yeah, keep that fuckin’ mouth shut. only thing you’re good for is this pussy.”

he lands another sharp slap on your cunt, making you cry out. your back arches upward and you could’ve swore you just saw your brain from how hard your eyes rolled back. “gonna toss out your birth control and fill you up every. fucking. day.” with every word, he pulls out completely, then thrusts harder back into you. your body shivers and your toes curl at the contact. with your back arched up, he takes the opportunity to remove his hand from your mouth and undo your entire set, stripping you completely naked.

after he’s satisfied with the scene before him, he slaps your right tit, then your left, then the right. the muscle turns red and you wince out in pain. he leans down to suck and lick at the area, earning a gasp from you.

“don’t cum in me, please!” you beg. you absolutely need him to breed you— it’s a staple in your’s and yuta’s sex life. it wasn’t sex if he didn’t full you up by the end of it.

“shut the fuck up. the last time i checked, sluts like you don’t care about getting pregnant, hm? they just sleep around and wait for someone to empty their cum into their loose pussies, yeah? that what you are?”

“n-no.” your eyebrows furrow in anger at the words he throws at you. the expression on your face doesn’t match the expression your pussy displays. you’re throbbing and swallowing him in, unknowingly cumming around him for the -nteenth time.

“yeah, you are. say it with me.” his tone softens as he talks you through the most vulgar words, waiting for you to say the words.

“i’ll call someone if you don’t let me go.”

“who are you gonna call, darling? the cops? i’ll make them watch.” he slaps the left side of your face, leaving a red handprint on your glossy skin.

“open your legs. don’t make me repeat myself,” you force your shaky legs open while yuta continues his assault on your sore pussy. the lewd moans he lets out makes your head fuzzy. “so fucking tight. even after i fucked you for hours,”

his thrusts slow, then they continue at a rough and fast pace. his fingers are hooked into the right side of your mouth like a dental clamp. your teeth are covered in your own arousal.

he repositions the both of you to where you’re both facing the camera. he cups your jaw, making you watch him fuck you through the camera. you connected your phone to the tv, so you’re both seen on the screen.

“say hi to your fans, bitch. we’re on live.”

somehow, yuta managed to switch to a livestream, the comments being flooded with a sweaty face emoji and thirsty comments. he pounds into you while you’re both whining and whimpering, holding your hair back to push you deeper onto his length.

“n-no, yuta, let me go!”

you’re cut off by a sharp slap on your ass. “one more chance. say hi.”

“h- fuck, i can’t!”

you watch the views go up dramatically, while yuta smiles manically.

12.7M VIEWS

3.7M COMMENTS

1.27M GIFTS

cznniehoe: man im tryna get my coochie stretched too

johnnysuh: no sharing?

jaehyun: hot

marklee: dude this is so hot

taeil: bro what let me get some

taeyong: BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW THATS THAT BOOTY MEAT

the views only increase, making your heart clench at nervousness.

“say hi to jaehyun for me.”

“i can’t—“ another slap to your right ass cheek, already forming a bruise. he pulls you off of him, watching yours and his cum drip down his cock and your thighs. “h-hi jaehyun,”

jaehyun: hello pretty girl

“there you go. wasn’t so hard was it?” yuta leans over to grab the camera and angle it at your face. it’s at selfie level as you stare at your own arousal on your face and the mascara on your cheeks. your lips are puffy and red with strands of hair on your face.

you look like yuta’s bitch.

[funstyle]

Hate that ppl made it annoying to be like "🥺 my stummy hurts 🥺 hot girls have ibs" Bitch sometimes my tummy actually hurts but i feel like i cant complain cus ill sound like your cutesy bumper sticker now

[puppypeter]

He also has stickers that say 'my ibs is chronic but this ass is iconic', 'IBS: irritable bitch syndrome' and 'my bowels are irritable (and so is my boyfriend)'

jamie is 100% a hot bitch with ibs

[sowritten]

THINGS I'VE SAID DURING STREAMS, PART 2

feel free to adjust pronouns and such as needed! games played during these lines are: resident evil 4 remake, project zomboid, life is strange: true colors, vampyr, dead by daylight, baldur's gate 3, alan wake 2, content warning, control, stardew valley and ai: the somnium files.

I feel like I need to be making out with the button.

Ooh, trash can. There's always something good in the trash.

There's no sex happening, unless you count me getting fucked by the choices that I make.

I find being a lesbian funny sometimes.

I do this fun thing where I can't read.

Oh, to open a body bag and find a handsome Spanish man.

More women need to just go apeshit.

Yeah, I'm already down bad for them.

If my wife wanted to kill me and drink my blood, I would let her.

If you're gonna bullshit, know your bullshit. Signed, an expert bullshitter.

STOP LOOKING AT MY ASS!

Oh, [NAME], you are so sexy.

I wasn't a [name] sandwich, I was a whole [name] thanksgiving dinner.

I need you to do me a favor: go die.

She's been sucked dry.

Oh, you're gay too, nice!

I wanna build bombs.

NO, YOU GET YOUR CRUSTY, DUSTY, MUSTY ASS BACK HERE!

I guess I'm sexy people.

I got a big, juicy ass.

I'm a lesbian, I invented home improvement.

'The cult is watching right now.'? Great, eat my ass.

I'm getting strong 'your mother sucks cocks in hell' vibes right now.

Did you see that thing? It tried to eat my ass.

A bad bitch never dies.

I love women who are mean to me.

I did not shit myself today... miraculously.

I knew the crabs would come back to haunt me.

You suffer from a memory disorder? Bitch, me too, it's called depression.

Hot girls have tummy issues, it's a well documented fact.

Rock out with your Wok out.

I'm an expert in perversion, don't ask me how, don't ask me why.

I have no rhythm, I am very much a white person.

Yeah, I got IBS: I be shittin'.

[underworld-park-offical]

CRAIG: Anyways, Spiriiiiit what's your name?

TOLKIEN: …. No

TOLKIEN: Fuck you mean NO??? 

KENNY: Wow Clyde, nice, you scared off the ghost.

KYLE: Probably because he shat himself everywhere

CLYDE: SHUT UP YOU KNOW I HAVE IBS

TOLKIEN: Yeah, he has IBS leave him alone

TOLKIEN: At least he washes his hands

KYLE: …… sure buddy, sure.

TOLKIEN: Whatever…. He may be a walking shitsack, but he's MY walking shitsack

CLYDE: STOPPPP I'M GONNA CRYYYY

KENNY: By the way, Ghost says cuz

STAN: Like… as in just cuz or cousin?

KENNY: “just cuz” you dumbass

CRAIG: I was about to say, Sweet Home Alabama

CRAIG: Tell me you are from Colorado without telling me you're from Colorado

TOLKIEN: Can I strangle him? Can I strangle him, please?

CRAIG: Fine but do you want to strangle me or double it and give it to the next person?

TOLKIEN: I swear to god Craig

CRAIG: lmao hey spirit or demon or something, if you do something funny I'll post it to every social media I have and it’ll get like,

CRAIG: millions of views

CRAIG: Please I will give creds in the description

CLYDE: NOOOO PLEASE I WILL SHIT MYSELF AGAIN

KYLE: You said that like, Fifty Times already.

CLYDE:WAHGYHFIKYJDIYFOUGUUJULUJGBLUWATERMELONUGKYHFMKYFILMTYFLTDLUFY

CRAIG: LMAO not you saying watermelon

CRAIG: Omg it's like that one TikTok sound

CRAIG: Watermelon sugar high…. watermelon sugar hi…. watermelon sugar hiii..

TOLKIEN: Kill him. Kill him right now ghost

CRAIG: You can't kill me, oim ‘arry stoyles…

KENNY: Guys shhhh

KENNY: The door opened

KENNY: Wait wait wait how did it open???

STAN: IT'S THE FUCKING FBI WERE GONNA DIE IT'S THE FEDS

KYLE: ….No…. I think that's just the wind….you dumbass

STAN: WIND INDOORS??? BULLSHIT!!! THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE 

KENNY: Unless the wind came from Clyde haha

CLYDE: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN!!!!

CRAIG: Hold on let me take a pic of this

JIMMY: R-r-r-read the r-r-room, Craig

CRAIG: The room can wait, I need to do a status update

CRAIG: Omg that rhymed

CRAIG: Guys I'm literally Eminem

JIMMY: Th-th-this is n-n-n-not the t-t-t-time to b-b-be on the g-g-gram, we-we-were ab-b-b-bout to d-die

CRAIG: At least I'm slaying rn

CRAIG: You hoes is ugly

TOLKIEN: Gayest shit I’ve ever heard

CRAIG: Don’t talk to me when I get 1 million

CRAIG: ...

CRAIG: Ew this photos fugly

CRAIG: I'm deleting this shit omfg

CRAIG: It's not giving

KYLE: WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

KYLE: WAIT YOU DUMB DUNKIN DONUTS LOVING HOT CHEETO CRUNCHING FAKE NAIL CLICKING BASIC ASS BITCH

CRAIG: OMFG GOD NOT YOU INTERRUPTING ME DELETING A PIC

CRAIG: WTF DO YOU WANT??

KYLE: See that glitchy shit on your phone?

CRAIG: Yeah, that's why I'm deleting this fugly asf photo

CRAIG: It's the stupidity for me.

KYLE: That's probably the ghost

KYLE: Haven’t you seen like

KYLE: ANY movies?

CRAIG: Only like

CRAIG: Whats popular

CRAIG: Like Kissing Booth and Tall Girl

KYLE: ….You know what?

KYLE: I'm out

KYLE: I can't handle being around your two cent Charli D'amelio ass anymore

KYLE: You guys can get haunted without me

KYLE: I’m officially, OUT

(EDITS MADE BY @pissblanket and @zemoleinyourtrashcan

[lifblogs]

I can’t wait till this test is over and I can go home. The room is too hot, I have to share a bathroom with another patient, I don’t get privacy to throw away my incontinence pad, I am literally too anxious to use the bathroom because thanks to my BFF IBS I can sometimes be in there for half an hour and I need monitoring and help carrying the wires, I’ll admit I’m a baby and am not a fan of the twice daily shot, the bed is uncomfortable for safety precautions, they accidentally drugged me this morning by doing my meds incorrectly, I can’t leave the bed unless it’s for the bathroom, I’m honestly disgusting and need a shower, the “host” (the woman who brings the food and helps us order) is a bitch and acted like I’m a drama queen for wanting to eat without the risk of fucking death… and I want my baby boy.

[cannedbeefaroni]

All you do is be bisexual eat hot chip and like green bitches

Actually!!!! ☝️🤓Erm, I’m sensitive to spicy food. Triggers my IBS

[bubblegumbitch143]

Why have the stars aligned just to make us suffer

[tokkionline]

only hot bitches have ibs

[hell02kitty]

I’ve been told like 3 times today that I look like I lost weight in my waist area a bunch, and I feel like such a hot bitch! I’m like looking more lean in my midriff region yay

Weight: (back to 121 Ibs)

[puppypeter]

Phil Dunster saying he chooses the Peri Tamer sauce at Nandos just goes so well with my Jamie Tartt hot bitch with IBS hc (x)

[pastamic]

The real potion of shit yourself