#i am constantly emotional and that can be a good thing or a bad this
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TALK POST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER!!! hi guys!!!
art has been So hard for the past few months… like way harder than ever… the only art i do is for school at this point :[ i barely even doodle!!! it makes me really sad……. i think a lot of it has to do with my mental state. keeping it reaaall i’m currently in one of the worst emotional points in my life and have been for a while but Ugh!.. it’s gonna be okay in the end… aside from that i think it’s also art class that’s made it all so hard …
for those who don’t know, i’ve been in special art schools since 6th grade, like, schools you have to audition to be in… it’s been great!!! i love(d) meeting likeminded people and being able to relate to each other in a bunch of different ways!! i’ve made SO many friends and so many good memories!!! i’m now in my senior year of high school, half way through… it’s the final stretch for realsies! and i’m reflecting on how the art programs have made me feel about art….
there are SO many benefits that came with the programs minus meeting new people… my art wouldn’t be at the point it is at now without the lessons and expertise and critiques i’ve received from my teachers. i’m grateful i was even accepted into those classes in the first place!!!!!
the main gripe i have with everything tho is how CRAZY it kills your creative flow and enjoyment for art in general… i don’t necessarily blame my teachers, they’re just doing what they’re taught! but i feel like what they’re teaching is wrong in lots of ways…
they put mindsets on students that just… don’t make sense? “art block isn’t real! just draw!” art block isnt just not being able to draw… “every piece you make should be better than your last!” you shouldn’t have to constantly try to one-up yourself!
it’s just all these standards left and right that you have to meet to “be successful” and for your art to be “good”. all of my art classmates and even from the grades below me agree that it’s certainly not the best!!! i can see why everything is the way it is, it’s for improvement and building skill, but i think it’s more damaging than helpful…
i’m SO nitpicky about my art. it’s hard for me to feel proud of things anymore because there’s Always something wrong with what i’m doing… and the way you have to compare yourself and your creations to other people as a grade to begin with is UGH! it’s just teaching students to be SO hard on themselves when art is literally just creating something!!!
the way your art looks shouldn’t determine your value, success, or even worth. art should be FUN!!! it’s a visual extension of yourself. it’s meant to be created with any intention in mind… it’s a reflection of YOU. it’s YOUR unique touch… it shouldn’t have to fit in any criteria!!! you should do what makes you happy!!!
art school can be a blessing but also such a buzzkill… i enjoyed it a lot but it also broke a part of me and it’s really unfortunate… i hope one day i will be able to reverse all those mindsets and relearn my love for drawing. i miss it so so so much…
my lesson to you guys is to not stop… do what makes YOU happy. don’t do things just to look good to others, try to impress YOURSELF. or don’t! just create! because your art is YOU. treat it nicely and don’t ever lose it!!! you can do ANYTHING! you can MAKE anything! if you really think about it, everything’s possible!!!
i think i would word everything better if i was on a stage with a microphone… i think i missed a lot of points too but i hope you all can get the gist of my perspective…
all i know is that i’m not going to be doing any professional art stuff in the future… it suits me better as a hobby!!! i want to be a nurse instead!
no more art school ranting… despite my poor mental health right now, things haven’t been all that bad!!! i hang out with my friends a lot and that’s made everything so much better! i love my friends!!! i love playing games with them and talking with them and going places with them SOOO MUCH!i also have a super amazing partner now too!!!!! they’re the best partner i could ever ask for!!! fun fact, over summer they watched bfdi to get closer with me when we went back to school ISNT THAT SO SWEET AAHHH also our nails are currently painted fireafy colors!!! we are matching!!! so cute… i appreciate them indulging me whenever they can HEHEHEHEEE
anyways i think i’m done talking now…. i’ve said my piece! i haven’t been active for a while So this is catch up time!!! ok bye!!! do something that makes you happy today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or tonight!!!!!!!! or afternoon!!!!!!!!!!
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Shout out to the people with flabby arms I love you so much
#i used to be upset with my arms but my big brain said#no! no more hate!! these arms are perfect and normal!!#its hard to love yourself but when you start talking to your negativity like its someone else things start to get better#i can gently talk to myself as if i were talking to someone else who said a negative thing about themself#of course this doesn't work for everyone but it works for me so I'll share this in case someone else wants to try it#i still have my bad days and this process is so slow#but when i look back over the years i see how far I've come and its so worth it#just that little bit of effort#anyway all bodies are beautiful and deserve love#ren won't shut up#i am constantly emotional and that can be a good thing or a bad this#in this case its good yayy
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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Most people really don't seem to understand that friendship is a two-way street.
They expect you to wait on them hand and foot as they rant about and constantly pour on you either their issues or their passions and when you finally have something you'd like to talk about you get a "Man that sucks :/" or a "Cool" in return.
Find somebody who doesn't do that. Then you'll have your best friend.
#i know i ramble sometimes and i'm extremely grateful that my best friend puts up with it :')#but see then in return i do the same for her because it would be completely unfair for me to expect her to act like a wall for me to talk a#or when i wanna show her something and i can tell she's being polite and it doesn't personally strike her fancy I MOVE ON#and she does the same for me and we have way frickin better communication and we have a frickin rad friendship#it's give and take#and also can we bring back the idea of being able to work through some things on your own?#like i am ALL FOR having a support system that can encourage you when things go wrong but some things can be solved on your own#i shouldn't be bearing the burden of figuring out your life for you you know?#i'm absolutely willing to help but if you're just going to spend all your time complaining to me and never ever take my advice#then there comes a point at which i'm literally just acting as your therapist and that's not how friendships are supposed to work#i've become kind of the designated therapist in a lot of friendships throughout my life#and it is exhausting constantly being complained at (sometimes over very minor things)#only to have that person or people COMPLETELY ignore your advice every single time you try to give it#that's not friendship my dude that's using me because you just want someone to complain to#like i said. support system good. treating your friend like an emotional punching bag to let out your problems 24/7 very very bad.#like when i was feeling completely unlike myself and irritated and frustrated for three dang years straight#i didn't really talk about it much because i knew it wasn't the kind of thing advice was going to fix#so i wasn't in the discord servers every two seconds “MAN I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD :///”#because when other people do this to me there comes a point at which i'm like “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT”#like i've given you all the advice i have and you have taken absolutely none of it nor have you taken any action on your own#so now i'm just here to make you feel better about yourself and that's really not my job#emotional support is necessary. patting you on the head when you refuse to do anything to better your situation is not.#tl;dr people who refuse to do anything to better their situation other than complain to ME about it 24/7 drive me nuts#and it drives other people nuts so please don't do it to anyone#don't bottle up your emotions but also don't let them come crashing down and drown everyone you know#just because you can't be bothered to put ANY effort forth to contain them#emotional regulation is attractive~~~#society today has built such a culture of “it's not YOUR fault and if you cry about it hard enough someone will fix it for you” like no sir#sometimes it IS your fault and sometimes you DO need to take responsibility#and if it is your fault then absolutely no one but you is obligated to fix it
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Vent
#why am i punching bag for my dad and sister?#hes not abusive obviously but when the pressure is getting to him he picks on me......#i feel so worthless like a used sponge#if he wasnt forced to sit next to me i would be cry9ng qnd cuttibg#hes showing me his dumb stupid AI memes as though im supposed to be his good lil audience member and give him a laugh#when i show him stuff he always disagrees with it or makes fun of it.....#if i do what he does suddenly im horrible#i hate my existence#im just an audience member/energy bank for everybody#i can feel my chronic pain writhers and tightens against my bones. it stings like a poision.....#i just wish people werent so mean to me........why cant people treat me at least the same way i treat them?#constantly doing so much more cus its natural. then im surprised when im dehydrated of energy.....#he just told me not to raise my voice when all i did was calmly explain i dont feel like arguing......#im CONSTANTLY the bad guy#i get mad at my family sometimes but i never directly lash out at them the way they do to me........#i spend nights sleepless trying to figure out the perfect way to explain myself only for it not to work or get shot down or something bad#speaking and stepping outside of my mind gets me nothing but punishment.....#my family is devoid of emotional thinking and thats the only way i can think#.....its really cold tonight. my dad rearranged the living room swearing it would be warmer......im now SO much colder#it doesnt help that hes a trump voter and just....doesnt care about any of that stuff so i have no one to comfort me in my anxieties#it just feels like im trying to fit in the wodden shape box but i belong to a completely different toy..ill never join those pieces that fit#thats how i feel about life#i keep TRYING to get my life going and be happy#but i dont think im meant for this world....i wish it was easy to end it#im fighting tears cus ny dad will just get mad.....hes such a fucking ogre.#i would rather him never buy me another thing again AND BE NICE#ive said that before and he just blew me off lmao#i keep having dreams that im going to Hell :(#i just want the pain to stop :(
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✨ How Your Dominant Planet Secretly Shapes Your Teenage Brain ✨
Have you ever looked back at your late teens and wondered why you were so obsessed with certain things? Like, one friend was glued to their guitar and poetry journals, another was training for their fifth marathon, and you? You were probably neck-deep in your thing. Here’s the deal: your dominant planet was pulling the strings behind the scenes, shaping how your mind worked and what you gravitated toward without you even realizing it.
Let’s break it down:
🌞 SUN Dominant: "I need to shine—what’s the point otherwise?" Late teens for Sun-kissed folks are like a personal hero’s journey. You’re obsessed with figuring out who you are. Your brain’s constantly asking, Am I good enough? Do people see my worth? You might’ve been the captain of the debate team, the drama club star, or just that person who somehow made walking to the cafeteria look like a runway. How your mind works: Everything feels like a stage, and you want to perform your best—even in front of yourself. You seek validation, yes, but deep down, it’s about finding your inner confidence.
🌙 MOON Dominant: "I feel… everything. Is that normal?" For Moon folks, the late teens are an emotional hurricane. You’re all about understanding feelings, whether it’s yours or everyone else’s. You probably overthink texts (why’d they only reply with “k”?), cry over movies you’ve seen a million times, and have deep, borderline-therapeutic convos with your bestie. How your mind works: You process the world emotionally first, logically second. You’re learning how to handle your empathy without drowning in it.
🔥 MARS Dominant: "Let’s go! But… where are we going?" Mars kids are powered by action and passion, and your late teens are when you’re learning to channel that fire. Your brain thrives on challenges, so you probably signed up for every sport, pushed yourself in the gym, or got way too into proving someone wrong in an argument. Impulse control? We’ll work on that later. How your mind works: You process through doing. Sitting around theorizing makes you twitchy. You need action, even if it’s messy. Picking fights on the basketball court because the ref made a bad call, then realizing you’re actually just mad your crush didn’t text you back.
💬 MERCURY Dominant: "Wait, how does that work? Tell me everything!" Mercury-dominant teens are curiosity machines. Your brain’s like a search engine that never stops running. You want to know why, how, who, and what if. You’re that kid who can’t let a fun fact go without looking it up. Debates? Bring ’em on. Trivia? Your jam. Group chats? You run them. How your mind works: You connect ideas at lightning speed. Learning isn’t just a necessity; it’s your love language. Staying up until 3 a.m. watching YouTube videos about conspiracy theories, then showing up to school explaining why aliens totally built the pyramids.
💎 VENUS Dominant: "Why settle for okay when life can be beautiful?" Your late teens are a crash course in pleasure, relationships, and aesthetics. You’re probably experimenting with your style (cue questionable fashion phases), figuring out love (hello, hopeless romantic), or diving into art and music. Life needs to feel good, or it’s just not worth it. How your mind works: You’re tuned to beauty and connection. Your decisions are emotional but driven by desire—whether it’s for love, art, or the perfect selfie.Spending an hour perfecting your eyeliner just to go to the grocery store because what if you meet someone cute?
🌍 SATURN Dominant: "I’m too busy for nonsense." While your friends are out making impulsive mistakes, you’re busy building your future. Saturn-dominant teens have an old-soul vibe. You’re focused on responsibility, probably working a part-time job while juggling school and worrying about saving for college. Fun? Sure, but only if it’s productive. How your mind works: You crave structure and long-term success. While others wing it, you plan 10 steps ahead. Skipping a party to study for finals because failing isn’t an option—not because of pressure, but because you expect better from yourself.
🚀 RAHU Dominant: "What’s the wildest thing I can do right now?" Rahu teens are like explorers charting unknown territory. You’re obsessed with breaking rules, chasing thrills, and doing the forbidden. If it’s edgy, you’re into it. You’re the one sneaking out, dyeing your hair neon green, or trying things that make adults nervous. How your mind works: You’re wired to seek more. More excitement, more knowledge, more of life’s extremes. Going on a spontaneous road trip with friends, breaking the rules, or getting into something your parents wouldn’t approve of—just because it felt like the next big adventure.
🌌 KETU Dominant: "I’m here, but also not really here." Ketu teens are all about spiritual detachment. You’re introspective, reflective, and a bit aloof. While everyone else is chasing their dreams, you’re figuring out why dreams matter at all. Meditation, tarot, or even just staring at the stars for hours—you’re vibing on a higher plane. How your mind works: You reject surface-level stuff, diving into the depths of existence. But you also need to learn to be present. Skipping out on big social events to sit at a park by yourself, journaling about the mysteries of life, or getting into spiritual practices like meditation because they felt more authentic than anything else.
🚀 JUPITER Dominant: "Knowledge is freedom, and I’m going after it!" Jupiter-dominant teens are all about growth, knowledge, and the bigger picture. Your late teens were likely filled with plans for the future, exploring new ideas, and constantly looking for ways to improve. You may have been the one always talking about your next big trip, your dream career, or the philosophies that shaped your world view. How your mind works: You crave expansion and understanding. Learning is your path to freedom. Deep-diving into a topic you just discovered, researching potential career paths, or discussing ideas about travel, culture, and self-improvement with anyone who would listen. Your teenage years were wild, weren’t they? Which planet had your brain on lock? Reblog with your planetary dominant and let’s compare chaotic late-teen stories. 🌠
#astrology#vedicastrology#tropical astrology#venus#mars#jupiter#moon#ketu#AstrologyCommunity#VedicAstrology#StarryWisdom#CosmicJourney#MysticVibes#SpiritualAwakening#AstroInsights#AstroBlog#DivineGuidance#InnerJourney#SeekersUnite#SoulSearchers#AlignedEnergy#YourSoulTribe#SelfExploration#vedic astro notes#vedic astro observations#vedic astrology#darakaraka#venus darakaraka#sidereal astrology#naskshatra
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# BATBOYS WITH A SUNSHINE!READER ── .✦ ( basically batboys with a optimistic reader )
a/n: this was requested by anon (here) but anywayss i think I’m gonna do the world tour thing after my winter inspired fics/hcs end on like February 28th! (Dw i’ll still do the world tour thingy in between) but yahh also I desperately need writer mutals + mutals I mssg daily like I’m a very kind person idm if you dm me at like 4 AM, tags: (batboys x fem!reader)
© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )
DICK GRAYSON ── .✦
Absolutely smitten. Your optimism is like a magnet for Dick, who thrives on positivity.
He calls you his “little ray of sunshine” (even if you roll your eyes at the nickname).
If he’s feeling down, your relentless optimism is a game changer. “How do you do that? How do you make the world seem so… bright all the time?”
Constantly teases you, especially if you’re being overly cheerful during random moments. “Are you seriously smiling right now? We’re getting ready to head to bed!”
But secretly, he loves it. Your energy balances his occasional doubts && insecurities. (he lovesss positive people who live in their own world)
Dick starts picking up on your habits leaving little notes of encouragement, giving random compliments to strangers and realizes how much better it makes his day.
JASON TODD ── .✦
At first, he’s skeptical. He’s not used to someone so genuinely cheerful, and he might think you’re putting on an act.
“How are you this happy all the time? What’s your secret? Coffee? Dark magic?”, “I just like seeing the world differently, I’m a poet in my mind.”
But over time, he warms up to your positivity and even craves it (to a point he gets sad if you aren’t around for more than 4 hours). You’re the light that cuts through his darker moments and more sulking personality.
“I don’t know how you do it, but you make me feel like the world’s not completely screwed.”, “what did you say?-“, “Nothing go back to sleep.”
He pretends to be annoyed when you try to cheer him up after a rough day, but he secretly loves when you coax a laugh out of him.
Jason starts jokingly calling you his “emotional support sunshine.” He’ll tell Roy, “Yeah, they’re like my personal antidepressant.”
Will protect your positivity at all costs. If anyone tries to dim your light, they’ll have to deal with him.
TIM DRAKE ── .✦
Finds your optimism so refreshing. Tim can be a little too caught up in stress and overthinking, so your energy is like a breath of fresh air.
He’s constantly asking, “How are you so happy all the time? Teach me your ways.”
If you leave him little notes of encouragement, he’ll treasure them forever. He has a drawer full of them and pulls one out whenever he’s having a bad day.
Sometimes, your cheerfulness makes him feel a little guilty. “You’re so good, and here I am being a grump.” But you always remind him it’s okay to have bad days.
Tim loves how you bring optimism even to his most chaotic moments. “Yeah, sure, we’re being late, but hey, at least it’s not raining, right?”
He’d be a little overwhelmed by your energy at times, but he admires you deeply for seeing the good in everything.
DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦
Damian does not know what to do with you at first. Your cheerfulness is a complete mystery to him.
“Why are you smiling? We are surrounded by incompetence.”
He pretends to be annoyed, but deep down, he finds your positivity oddly comforting.
Over time, he starts looking forward to your optimistic take on things. “Yes, fine, maybe there is a silver lining. Stop gloating.”
You have a knack for breaking through his tough exterior. If he’s grumpy, you’ll say something so genuinely kind that he can’t help but soften.
Damian secretly loves how you see the good in him, even when he doesn’t see it himself.
He starts to mimic your habits, like giving Alfred small compliments or trying to look on the bright side, but he’ll deny it if you call him out.
BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦
Bruce admires your positivity but doesn’t always understand it. “How do you manage to stay so cheerful in Gotham of all places?”
At first, he worries your optimism will make you naive, but he quickly realizes it’s your strength.
Your energy is a stark contrast to his brooding nature, and he starts leaning on it more than he cares to admit.
When he’s stuck in his head or doubting himself, you always know what to say to pull him out of it.
“You make it sound so simple,” he says after you give him one of your pep talks. But he smiles because somehow, you do make it simple.
You bring a sense of warmth and nostalgia into the Wayne Manor. Bruce finds himself more relaxed when you’re around, even in the middle of chaos.
He’ll never admit it to the others, but your optimism is one of his favorite things about you.
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#batboys#dc#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson#red hood#red hood x reader#nightwing#nightwing x reader#nightwing headcanon#bruce wayne x reader#tim drake x reader#tim drake#damian wayne x reader#damian al ghul x reader#damian wayne#nightwing imagine#jason todd headcanon#tim drake imagine#tim drake headcanon#red robin x reader#red hood imagine#red robin headcanon#red hood headcanon#batman#batman x reader#batboys x reader#red robin#dick grayson imagine
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Dynamite and His Player 2
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𓂅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Twitch Gamer!Bakugou x AFAB!Reader
.....
Bakugou glances over at the camera, brows furrowed as he adjusts his headset. "Alright, you extras, get ready to shut the hell up," he growls, his voice laced with annoyance. "She’s real. I’ve got her right here, and she’s playing with me tonight."
You laugh off-screen, causing his chat to explode with reactions. Up until now, they didn't believe a word Bakugou said when he claimed he had a girlfriend. After all, this is the guy known for his explosive reactions when things go slightly wrong. He grumbles, trying to keep his cool, but the slight blush on his cheeks gives him away.
The game loads up, some horror-puzzle co-op that requires a ton of coordination. But while Bakugou’s all business—focused on solving puzzles and surviving—you have other ideas. You’re busy teasing him, wandering off to explore the map, or purposely messing up just to get a rise out of him.
"Can you just—dammit! Will you STOP wandering off?" Bakugou snaps as he watches your character take another detour. "We’re supposed to be working together!"
You grin at the screen, purposely moving your character in circles. "Aw, come on, Suki~ We’re just having fun, right?"
His jaw clenches, and he mutters something under his breath about "not having fun if you keep screwing around." But his viewers are eating it up, laughing at his frustration and flooding the chat with comments like "She's brave for messing with him, LMAO😭😭" and "Bros .4 seconds away from exploding his monitor for the 10 millionth time🪦"
Eventually, he just huffs, slouching in his chair and mumbling, "Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I’ll just wait here." His expression says he's beyond annoyed, but the hint of a smile peeking through his scowl gives away that maybe, just maybe, he's actually having a little fun too.
Grumpy Twitch Gamer Bakugou Headcanons
...
— Every time he messes up, he narrows his eyes at the camera with that “are you stupid?” glare. Chat spams "IT’S NOT OUR FAULT!” and "WHY R U LOOKING AT US LIKE WE DID THAT??" but he just huffs, “If you idiots weren’t DISTRACTING me…”
— Bakugou’s streaming style is brutally honest—constantly throwing out curses like it’s second nature. If he dies in-game, his go-to is, “How the hell am I supposed to win with this garbage game?!” and he never blames himself, ever.
— He has zero chill. Every so often, he’ll pound the desk so hard that the camera shakes, and one time he punched his mic so fiercely that it cut out, leaving chat in hysterics as he tries to fix it, muttering about “this piece of crap gear.”
— After every gaming session, he gives a review of the game he’s playing—most of which devolve into full-on rants about terrible controls, stupid enemies, and “whoever the hell designed these levels.” At this point, it's an entire essay by the time he's done.
— There are moments when he hits the mute button just to scream or cuss off-mic. Chat sees him red-faced and mouthing words, knowing he’s losing it, which makes them spam laugh emotes to annoy him further.
— Sometimes, when things get really bad, he just simply says "Okay." and goes quiet, leaning in close to the screen with this intense focus. Chat knows that if he’s silent, it’s only because he’s plotting to obliterate whatever got him killed.
— It’s become a running joke with his followers—every time he streams, they place bets on which piece of his equipment he’ll break. He’s replaced his keyboard three times already and had to upgrade his camera stand because he broke the last one during a particularly heated rage quit.
— When he finally beats a level, he acts like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “See? Wasn’t even hard, you just have to not be a dumbass.” Cue the smug smirk.
— Occasionally, in his absolute rage, he’ll end the stream immediately after a loss. One second he’s there, screaming at the game, and then—stream offline.
— Despite all the rage, he’s actually insanely good at gaming. When he goes on a winning streak, chat blows up with admiration, but he barely acknowledges it. “’Course I won—who the hell do you think I am?”
— He has zero patience for backseat gamers. “Oh, you think you could do better? Why don’t you go start your own damn channel, then!” The mods know by now to instantly time out anyone who even hints at suggesting how he should play, and the ban count is astronomical by the end of each stream.
— Occasionally, Bakugou gets so into the game that he goes almost silent, and chat jokes it’s an ASMR session because all they can hear is his intense breathing and muttered curses. “Oi, STOP saying it’s ASMR, it’s not ASMR, you freaks!”
— Loading screens are his worst enemy. Every single time, he glares directly into the camera, arms crossed and seething, ranting about the “stupid long loading times” and how he could’ve “beat the damn game twice by now.” and how "a whole child could've been born by now." Chat watches in suspense because they know the rage is simmering, just waiting to explode.
— If he’s playing a console game, the controller does not have a safe future. He’s thrown it across the room, slammed it on his knee or desk, and even threatened it like, “You’re next, you little piece of shit, keep messing up on me.” He’s gone through so many controllers that his sponsor had to send him extras.
— When he loses in a PvP game, he has 1,001 excuses. “Lag. Dumb luck. Exploiter. The devs nerfed my character, obviously.” If chat calls him out, he just scoffs, “You think that was my fault? Keep dreaming.” And the mods instantly clear out any “L” spam from chat because he’s already dangerously close to slamming his keyboard.
— His channel has special emotes for when he loses his temper—explosion icons, angry Bakugou faces, and even one of his own “ARE YOU FUCKIN’ KIDDING ME?!” face. Chat spams these whenever he starts heating up, which only fuels his fire.
— His viewers love to try and provoke him. Someone will innocently say, “Hey Dynamight, I think you missed something back there,” and he’ll instantly pause, glare at the screen, and say, “I DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING, DUMBASS, WE'RE MOVING ON.” It’s like a game within the game for his followers. (He goes back to check right after.)
— “Easy mode?” he scoffs at the suggestion. “I’d rather throw myself into a fire than play on easy mode.” Even if he’s dying over and over, he’ll never, ever change the difficulty. Chat has tried for months to get him to switch, but he’s stubbornly loyal to “the only real mode” (aka Hard Mode, Nightmare mode or above).
— If he actually wins a match, he’s unbearable. He’ll sit there, grinning and basking in his victory, smirking at the camera with a smug, “And that, extras, is why I’m better than every single one of you.” Cue chat sarcastically clapping.
— He once had a bet with his mods that he’d try to do a stream without cursing or raging. He lasted five minutes before he exploded, screaming, “THIS GAME IS FUCKING RIGGED!” after an unexpected jump-scare. The mods were dying, and he banned half of them out of spite (they were unbanned five minutes later, but still).
— Every time he’s about to start a new game, he’s got this exaggerated, dramatic intro: “ALRIGHT, EXTRAS, prepare yourselves ‘cause we’re about to dominate the shit outta this game. And if I see anyone backseat gaming, you’re banned. Don’t even THINK about telling me what to do.”
— Every now and then, when he dies for the tenth time in a row, he just deadpans to the camera, “I swear to God, I’m deleting my channel after this.” Chat knows he’s bluffing, but they still spam crying emojis like “NOOO PLEASE DON’T” just to mess with him.
— Every so often, when he’s focused on a tough level, he’ll mutter something like, “Okay, maybe you’re not so bad, chat. Don’t tell anyone I said that,” and the comments absolutely blow up with hearts and “WE LOVE YOU, DYNAMIGHT.” He immediately goes red and yells, “Didn’t mean it, idiots!” but it’s too late.
— Once, he rage-quit a game so hard that his entire setup fell silent. He’d punched the desk, and the screen went black. Chat watched in shock as the stream just… cut off. The clip went viral, with an entire 30-minute compilation titled “Every time Dynamight destroyed his setup” He came back the next day, reacted to it, and you already know he gave the video a thumbs down and left a long hate comment.
— His mods convinced him to play a “relaxing, casual game” that was secretly full of jump scares. The first time it happened, he almost flipped his entire desk. He immediately banned half of his mods and told the rest they were “on thin ice.” Chat still laughs about it every time he plays a “cute” game.
#twitch streamer bakugou save us#save us twitch streamer bakugou#🎀・kimmie’s mini fics・🎀#💌・from me to u 💌#˚。⋆୨୧˚ kimmie's my hero academia masterlist#💕・random lil stories・💕#💌・one-shot wonders 💌#🍒・blurb by kimmie・🍒#✧・゚writing from kimmie ✧・゚#💫・diary from bakugou's girl・💫#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#mha bakugou#bakugou x you#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugou x y/n#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugo katuski#my hero academia#mha x reader#mha#boku no hero academia#bnha#boku no hero acedamia#bakugou headcanons#katsuki headcanons#bakugo headcanons
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I wanted to make a bonsai kitten recovery post that outlines some of the stuff that I've been doing. Because I don't think that you need to ✨see a therapist✨ to start dealing with a lot of this stuff and I get really frustrated when that is the answer that everyone is constantly giving. Firstly a disclaimer, because I know what website I am on: this is a guide for things that have worked for me! I am not everyone and if there are things on here that do not work for you or even that you think are stupid, that is fine, but please do not make it my problem. If you are reading it and you're like "that sounds like it would actually be detrimental to my specific mental health because of my specific issues" then please disregard it. Use your critical thinking skills and do what you think is right for you!
My second disclaimer is that I didn't make any of this up myself; most of these are collected from various places either in therapeutic guide books or various websites about emotional regulation etc. Some of it is stuff that I have extrapolated from those places based on experience with what works for me or does not work for me. A lot of the way that I treat myself when I need to get my body and brain into a place where I can think about stuff productively is actually directly from gentle parenting guides, because frankly cptsd recovery stuff is very often like parenting a toddler. And the toddler is you. ALL THAT SAID,
The first skill that I had to get good at, that many of the other skills depend on, is to learn how to understand when I am Reacting to something. If I am Reacting it is extremely likely that that's going to only escalate the situation and make it much worse. I HAVE to be able to tell if I am Reacting emotionally to something in a way that is coming from a place of fear and panic. This is important because it involves not being prescriptive about your emotions. You could be Reacting to something that you do not logically feel is at all justified in making you feel that way and that doesn't matter! You can't be doing math equations to try to come to the answer of how you SHOULD be feeling; you have to be observing your mind and body to see how you factually ARE feeling and then respond to THAT. This can be really hard to learn how to do especially if you were abused as a child. (If you cannot think of yourself as someone who is abused as a child perhaps it would help to think of yourself as someone who simply was not taught various emotional regulation skills for mysterious reasons that have nothing to do with your parents' inadequacies.) I need to be able to glance inward and see what the physiological reaction that I'm having is and identify whether or not I feel like this is the biggest emergency in the world that needs to be addressed right now immediately! That is a sure sign that Mr Fight and Mr Flight are in the building and it is bad to make declarative statements or important decisions when that is the case. So, I have to work on dismissing them first. That is literally the first step to any of this. One of my friends calls this "fire mittens," which is to say, if you are wearing mittens that are on fire and you try to touch stuff, the stuff will also become on fire. You have to put the fire out first before you can touch other things.
Once I have determined that I am indeed Reacting and in a physiological state of fear, I have a document in my notes app that is a "what to do when you are in fight or flight mode" guide and it has several helpful things that I will try to outline here.
Firstly, the really important thing for me for trying to get back into an emotional state where I'm capable of making decisions and being thoughtful is to feel safe and comfortable. So I actually have some stuff in my document that is straight up just like "go in the blankie nest. put on this specific music album. light this specific scented candle." etc. You might want to have a specific food or drink that is comforting to you or some other sort of stim toy that helps you regulate. If there's any calming medication or supplements for anxiety that you take as needed, now is also the time to do that. Physical sensory grounding is really important for this. This is probably especially true if, like me, you are neurodivergent, but I think it is also true for everyone because we are animals! And you can't just think about it, you have to actually do it. Which sounds obvious but is the thing that has often tripped me up in the past. Once you start getting into the habit of actually physically doing this it DOES become easier though.
One of my rules is that if I want to respond to something but I am in fight or flight mode, I don't get to respond to it for at least 24 hours. I'm only allowed to respond once I've gotten myself out of fear mode. If it is some kind of comment on Facebook that has set me off, often this means that 24 hours later I realize that I actually don't want to get into it to begin with, which is great. If it's something that is pretty serious and interpersonal with a friend, sometimes that means I have to communicate to them that I'm going to take a while to process it and then get back to them. IMPORTANT: You CANNOT do this passive aggressively or else it undermines the whole thing. You can't phrase it in a way that will make your friends think that you are guilt tripping them for "making" you feel a way. It is VERY tempting to do this when you are in the first stages of trying to form this habit and you simply need to resist the urge because it will render this step worthless. I know. It sucks.
If I am feeling fearful and insecure about friends or loved ones, I also usually try to spend some time thinking about the people that I love and care about. Because often this stuff manifest for me as insecurity that the people that I care about do not care about me, or that they think that I'm being annoying, or that they are secretly thinking mean things about me. It's obviously not good for me to constantly be imagining that the people in my life who I care about are actually avatars of my own insecurity who are here to tell me that I'm secretly fundamentally unlovable! But crucially also it's ALSO not fair to those people to imagine them as that. They are not that guy, they are their own complex human beings with their own lives and experiences and interiority. So sometimes I do thought exercises where I will imagine my friends or loved ones doing things in their everyday lives and I will think about them as people and I will think about the things that they like to do and the things that they say and the places that they go, and I will try to imagine them fondly in those circumstances. This helps to remind me that they are just people and that the scary puppet wearing their faces is not real. To this end I sometimes will have a document of screenshots of things that they have said to me that I can use to reality check myself. I personally find reality checks to be essential for a lot of this. Things can feel true when they are not true at all. Things can feel wrong when they are actually true. The point of most of these exercises is to gently remind myself that those feelings are normal for me to be having, but that I do not need to let them dictate my responses.
It is crucial throughout all of this that you are nice to yourself. You can't talk to yourself in a mean way while you're doing this, or you will not get to a point where you are feeling safe enough to react from a place of not-fear. You can't make yourself feel ashamed or defensive for your emotional reactions. This is the particular area where I find gentle parenting protocols helpful. You HAVE to be patient with yourself.
Ok that's all for now bc I ran out of steam but I will try to think of more to add on another day maybe. Godspeed everyone
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Something I've been wondering for a while in the ML fandom. But after Season 5 ended, I saw a lot of authors coming to the consensus that Emilie is a "bad parent".
Where did that come from? Did I miss a fandom meeting where that consensus was reached? Or is that a consequence of Gabriel being a bad parent, having her as a bad parent by proxy?
I am mostly curious about where this headcanon came from, for some many different authors following the same path.
the series tries really hard to make Emelie seem like an angelic woman, but the problem is, it constantly steps on its own toes doing so.
even before her death, Adrien didn't go to school, wasn't socialized around others, never had a "real birthday gift," was only socialized around Chloe and his "cousin" sometimes, and though he yearned for school, was still denied that. The show says "oh she's a good person," but doesn't SHOW her being a good person.
the show contradicts itself. Emelie has to be good, because she's a dead mother who sacrificed her life for her child, but the show reveals the quality of life for that child was basically zilch, like owning a dog. The general idea of her being a bad parent is because being self-sacrificing doesn't make someone inherently good, in fact in Emelie's case, it made her all the more selfish.
if she knew she was dying and still had the audacity to keep her son from making connections with other people, all she was doing was saddling him with an immense amount of grief he would have no real way of processing, making her death the only thing he could ever revolve around for the rest of his existence.
Not only that, Gabriel seemed to follow the mindset of "oh she's just gone, not dead," which would only make things worse - and if Emelie suspected Gabriel might act the part of the fool, why didn't she ensure there was a support system for the both of them? To be fair, she doesn't have Gabriel on strings, but she literally has complete control over Adrien and just... decided to make him her emotional support child? a crutch through her death? an accessory to show what a good person she was???
maybe we really are missing parts. maybe she actually was an exceptional woman - but that SAME woman could be cattled and convinced to keep Adrien alone for his developmental years??? if we're following the idea that she was actually super good and kind, then we have to accept that she's also immensely stupid for allowing her husband to convince her that Adrien should be a bird in a cage.
Either she's loving but overall selfish, keeping Adrien for herself in spite of the damage it would cause, OR loving and stupid, letting Gabriel convince her to keep Adrien in the dark in spite of the damage it could cause.
the show may WANT us to route emelie down the path of overall "good," but considering her husband was such a miserable excuse for a parent who's attitude really hasn't changed that much from the past, like draws to like and we can only draw our own conclusions.
honestly i think Zoe put it better here, but there's my two cents on the matter.
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What BPD feels like for me
BPD can be a different experience for everyone but I figured I would share a bit of what it’s like for me.
It feels like a constant battle
A battle between my two selves. The rational side and the irrational side. The “good” brain and the “bad” brain as I call them. Being someone who is very self aware, it can complicate things a bit. I know when I’m doing something or feeling something that is irrational, however I can’t stop it. It’s like a part of me takes over and I can’t control it.
It feels as though I’m under constant attack
For me, it always feels as though someone or something is out to get me. My brain is constantly whispering things like “they hate you”, “they only did that to upset you”, “they’re going to betray you”. It always feels like something bad will happen. This leads to much anxiety, anger, and emotional pain.
It feels like I have no identity
I have no clue who I am. This is something I am working on in therapy but it is very difficult. My interests are always shifting and it is hard to recognize myself in photos and my memories. It feels like I am a shell of who I was. Everyday, I feel I have a new calling and purpose and then the next day it’s gone.
It feels like I’m banging on a sound proof window
I keep banging, hoping someone will notice, but everyone just passes by. There are people around but no one seems to see how much I’m struggling. Without physical signs, no one seems to care either. I feel trapped in my mind and I just want out.
It feels like the end of the world
A minor inconvenience to you feels like the end of the world to me. Sadness feels like I’m dying, anger feels like rage, distance feels like abandonment, and pain is always turned into suffering.
I’m curious if anyone has similar experiences or different experiences! I’d love to hear it all :)
#bpd awareness#bpd support#bpd safe#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#bpd#bpd mood#actually bpd#bpd stuff#bpd vent#bpd culture is#bpd feels#borderline culture is#borderline personality disorder#borderline pd#borderline blog
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THINGS YOU CARRIED FROM YOUR PREVIOUS LIVES ⚖️
Please read : This is just a general reading and may not be 100% true all the times. Please use your brain before making any decisions. Kalki tarot is not responsible for your actions and life decisions.
PICK ONLY ONE PICTURE AND ALLOW ME TO TAP INTO YOUR ENERGY.
Pile 01
I can see you lived by a river, it seems to be the country side. Green grass and shallow wind is what I feel where you belonged. Your sense of belonging in nature comes from this lifetime. You felt comfortable laying over the grass and just looking at the clouds. You were an innocent human being. Your heart held deep sense of purity for everyone and everything. You belonged to a foreign country, different from where you are right now.
I'm getting one more lifetime for you, where you wanted to be a saint or a nun or something like that. You wanted to attain moksha so you decided to take necessary actions but your responsibilities held you down. You could not leave your family or responsibilities i guess.
Your were an emotionally intelligent human being. It can be your gift in your current lifetime to be knowledgeable about spirituality and mysticism. You were born with healing abilities and you may also be a psychic.
Another gift you carried in this lifetime is of alchemy. You may be interested into witchcraft and rituals. Try to practice it more, it will really work well for you. Don't use it for bad things though. You have the power to create and manipulate energies. Your soul possesses infinite knowledge about spiritual. Unlock your hidden potential for its best use.
One more thing I'm seeing is that you carried a lot of burdens too from your previous life. Some traumas or fears, it can be anything. This is the reason why your psychic gifts were blurred or you were just not able to believe in your self, you have wounds from past life too. Healing is needed.
Pile 02
Dear Pile 2, you were someone very helpful and empathetic in your previous life. You were a gentle human being, you may have active water placements in your chart which influence you the most. You were and still are someone very deep and emotional. You understand people around you but sometimes you feel misunderstood. You feel different from everybody else. Yes you are different and it's not bad to be different. You are indeed a very special human being.
In your previous life too, you were a nice person and you did many humanitarian works. All the good karma you did is coming back to you in this lifetime. Please don't let your pure soul get corrupted or influenced by negative people. You often struggle with patience, you get anxious and restless when things don't go as you planned or when you don't see results when you want it. This is what you carried in this lifetime too. Work on having patience. You will definitely reap the fruits of your labour, but before accepting divine timing only!
Again with the fool card, your energy is very restless and childlike. You have the curiosity of a child and you crave adventurous things in life. You can't sit at one place for a long time. But this over restlessness may make you do foolish things. You should try to shift your energy from wasting it on useless things to creating something with your creative mind. You are someone who can build a castle in the sky. What i mean is you have the potential to start from scratch and turn it into something big. Use your energy here rather than doing foolish things.
You were like a wise sufi saint in your past life and you've also carried a lot of wisdom from there. Sometimes you go like where am i even getting these wise thoughts from lol. Yes! You are a street smart person. Use your potential to create something big.
Pile 03
You were someone who used to run behind success. You had or still have a fear of failing and that comes from your past life. You were in a high position in your previous life and you constantly used to work hard for keeping up or maintaining what you had.
You lacked the need to rest. And due to this you became a little too much workaholic. You were too much indulged in your work life that you kind of forget your presonal life and relationships. You will be forced to address the fear of failure in this lifetime too.
And the karma for not addressing your personal relationships is that you will not have any genuine connections in this lifetime. But don't worry, once you accept balance in your life and address your mistakes, things will start aligning for you.
Have a balanced approach and towards work and personal life. Don't be too rational, listen to your head anf heart both. And try not to force yourself to work hard. You will not fail! Don't worry.
#tarot reading#tarot blog#tarot cards#tarot#pick a card#tarot and astrology#tarot community#pick a pile#tarot asks#tarotblr#tarot spread#tarot readings#kalki tarot#kalki.archives#astro community#astro observations#astro notes#astrology#tarot witch#witchblr#witchcraft#the divine masculine#channeled message#tarot blr#tarot beginner#tarot lessons#tarot justice#tarot journal#future spouse reading
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In Another Life- PAC
PILE 1 PILE 2 PILE 3
This reading is allegedly for entertainment purposes only. I am not responsible for any choices made in accordance to my readings!
TW: MENTIONS OF DEATH, G@MBLING AND G@NG AFFILIATON READ AT YOUR OWN RISK YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
This reading is to find out who your past life lover was
PILE 1
Your past life lover was someone very in control, they had a desire to always protect and be the one to bear all the burdens regardless of if they were male or female. This person felt like home to you they may be coming back as your lover again in this past life there is a soul tie between you both. Anyways, they have a lot of inner strength nothing really tore them down they constantly thrived to be better and honestly most of the time things never worked out for them but they never gave up they kept going, they were always so confident and held themselves with high regard no one could point anything out that could be remotely awful about your person, they were quite likable and attractive and was always the leader never the follower. In this lifetime they are bound to continue striving to be the leader and keep doing the best they can while also balancing being human as in letting themselves feel their emotions instead of living life like they are a robot.
For some of you it could be in the 1800's, In this lifetime they are born in the 90's or you were born in the 90's but 90's holds significance. England, Paris, Germany specifically Berlin, Japan, Switzerland
PILE 2
Your past life lover was very resourceful they could always turn a situation good or bad in their favour. they are quite smart and cunning, they were the type to run circles around you without you realising until the very end that they tricked you. Because of their ability to be able to talk themselves out of a situation they felt like they didn't need to work for anything. They could just trick anyone into doing whatever. They could have used any means necessary to get their way like their appearance and words which honestly may have led to a lot of issues for them down the line especially financially because eventually people caught up to what they were doing and in a way they were shunned and they needed to find a way to turn things around and change and I don't think they managed to do that in that last lifetime so in this new lifetime they will have to learn to be more humble and hard working instead of using deception to get their way. For some of you there is a chance that you will be with them again this lifetime but for the majority it's very unlikely.
(Bonnie and Clyde as well as Elvis Presly could point to just time eras not that they were affiliated with them but who knows maybe they could have)
England, early to mid 1900's, Elvis Presley, Bonnie and Clyde, France, Germany, World War 1, Cambridge, G@mbling, g@ng affiliation.
PILE 3
Your past life lover was constantly burdened by one thing or another mostly relating to not having enough money to do something else. Your past life lover may have been a sailor or fisherman and passed away quite young. Whatever they tried to do to make ends meet never seemed to work for them it was just loss after loss. They worked so hard with absolutely nothing to show for it after all that hard work and it was such a frustrating situation for everyone involved because they were always plagued by poverty and never having enough. At the end of the day when all that hard work was over their only source of happiness or peace was YOU. Things never seemed as awful with you around. Things did eventually get better, but it was a long and treacherous battle to getting to that stability and unfortunately, they didn't live long enough to enjoy it. They were plagued by illness at a young age and passed. Unfortunately, in this lifetime I don't see them being your future spouse.
Ancient Greece, Egypt and Rome, Papyrus, boats, tan skin, white, gold
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Synopsis: Falling for gojo was one of your worst mistakes, but loving him when you know he could never love you back was an even bigger mistake.
CW:gojo is an ass, fuck boy gojo,angsty, situationship, oral f receiving, alittle blood not during sex, ownership, reader gets jealous, reader is a bit possessive, fuck boy gojo, 5.1k words
A/N: this is for @honeybleed ‘s RnB collab! i am super late but yeah lol
tags: @eveningatthemoviesnetwork
Being around Satoru made your palms sweaty. It was embarrassing to say, but you couldn’t help the bubble of emotions that seemed to burst inside of you when he was near. His presence alone could send your heart on a never-ending race. His eyes could make you melt within seconds with just one look. You always found yourself gazing into them, wondering what secrets they held. They’re so bright, so blue, and so pure. His eyes alone could cause emotions you had never experienced before. You could stare at them for days, stuck in a blue trance that you never wanted to escape. You knew he wasn’t good for you. You had told yourself you needed to let go a thousand times before. When you first laid in his bed, allowed his fingers to graze so delicately against your skin, and allowed his lips to press against your body with lustful hunger, you knew he’d be trouble. You knew he was bad for you when he held your body close to his, caressed your skin with his tender touch after a steamy session, and told you he enjoyed being friends with you. Yet somehow you continuously found yourself being drawn into him, constantly breathing in his musk while he held you close, constantly pushing your feelings away just so you could have one more intimate moment with him.
‘This is the last time’ It was a mantra that went into one ear and out the other. You could never seem to follow through with it whenever you found yourself wrapped in his arms.
You sat silently in the backseat of Getou’s car, fiddling with the wheel of your brand-new skateboard. You weren’t a skater. You had never stepped foot on a board before. It was embarrassing to say, but you had only brought a board because you thought it would give you more time to spend with Satoru. You were overwhelmed with nerves, practically holding your breath the entire ride. You felt like an overfilled glass waiting to run over. One little drop, and you’d spill like a glass of milk. This was the first time you were skating. You had only agreed to go because Satoru promised to teach you. You recalled his bright eyes shining with excitement as you asked. The way his lips curled upward into a sly smile as he pulled your naked body closer to his made you melt. You wanted to be covered in the warmth of the light that seemed to radiate off of him.
“Something on your mind?” Shoko asked, blowing smoke in your direction.
You coughed and waved the cloud of cigarette smoke away before giving her an angry look.
“Just nervous is all,” you whispered.
“Don’t be nervous, skating is like walking, anyone can do it." Satoru turned around from the front seat with a bright smile and chipper voice.
"Oh, that's not-” Getou started but was soon cut off by Satoru’s intoxicating voice.
“And besides, if you break a bone, then you’ll officially be a part of the skater community,” he said as if it were an initiation into the skater world.
Shoko nodded her head hesitantly. "Well, I can agree with that part. The first time I broke a bone was after I landed a 720 flip, the best bone break I’ve had to this day.”
You sat nervously listening to the three of them share past stories of the bones they had broken. If you weren’t nervous before, you were damn near shitting yourself now.
“Thanks, guys, this conversation helped so much,” you said, sarcasm dripping in your voice.
Gojo turned around, giving you a smirk that made your heart flutter.
“Don’t worry, if you fall I’ll be there to catch you,” he gave you a wink.
The smallest things could make your heart feel like it was about to explode. You bit your lip in a failed attempt to hide the smile that was forming. He was like a burst of sunshine through a terrible storm, always there to make things better. You hated admitting it, and you’d never actually say it out loud, but you were in love. Head over heels in love with Satoru. Being around him made you feel like you were floating on cloud nine bursting with an overwhelming feeling of devotion. You could only pray that he felt the same. You were stuck in an intricate web of wonder. Did he love you the way you loved him? The way he’d make you feel when he was around screamed yes, but everything seemed to lead you in the opposite direction. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask him for the nth time what the two of you were, only to get the same reply of “We’re just chilling,” paired with a passionate kiss to take your mind off of it. You didn’t want to 'chill'. You wanted passion. You wanted the kind of love shared between Achilles and Patroclus, where he’d walk for miles wailing your name because he craved you in your absence. The kind of love like Orpheus and Eurydice, where he’d travel to the depths of hell just to bring you back to him. You wanted the kind of love where he would memorize the thrumming of your heartbeat so well that he’d recognize you just from the sound of it alone. You craved his love almost in an animalistic way, you craved him.
“We’re here people.” Getou’s voice pulled you from your manic thoughts.
You looked around, observing every person in the park. Everyone seemed so professional compared to you. You got out of the car, standing to the side, awkwardly swaying side to side holding your board. Your nerves were getting the best of you as you compared yourself to those around you. Their scratched and dirtied skateboards mocked your pristine, untouched board. You didn’t belong here. You felt anxious watching everyone with experience skate around you.
"Breathe, babe.” Shoko leaned next to you on the car. "You look like you're about to have a heart attack."
You let out a soft laugh. Satoru and Suguru had run off to start skating, leaving you and Shoko behind.
“I feel like an unprepared freshman entering high school. Everyone seems so good here,” you exclaimed “I feel like I'm going to embarrass myself in front of him”
Shoko already knew about the ‘him’ you were speaking of. She had warned you a million times before to be careful with him, and every time you just brushed it off as her being too worrisome.
“I had a feeling,” she said, lighting her cigarette “You were sweating like you were in a sauna in the car.”
You scoffed and brushed your palms against your pants.
“I was just a little hot!" you exclaimed, making an excuse.
“The windows were down."
“I just want to impress him,” you whined childishly.
She rolled her eyes.
“You want to impress the same guy who just left you in a place you’ve never been before?”
You turned around to see the man of the hour mingling with Suguru. He was poking the cheek of a tall, blond-haired guy who looked as if he was completely over the entire interaction. You turned back to Shoko with an eager smile.
“He’s just excited. He’ll pay more attention when he’s teaching me." You excused his behavior as you grabbed her hand, dragging her over to the two.
You walked over to the chaos, reminding yourself to take deep breaths.
“Hi,” you chimed in, embarrassed at how your voice somehow cracked.
Satoru turned to you, giving you a welcoming smile, and from just a glance, you felt a whirlwind of emotions.
"Hi." His voice was soothing.
It was just the two of you. No intimidating skaters, no Shoko reminding you of how he isn't good for you, just him and his gentle voice.
“Ready to skate pretty?” The nickname made you swoon.
You nodded your head eagerly. Satoru grabbed your hand, pulling you away from the group. You followed behind him with a longing smile. You felt like the main character in a movie living out your dreams. His hand was so soft. He was warm. You never wanted to let him go.
“Welcome to my world, pretty girl. You ready to become one with the board?” He asked as he held your face with a serious gaze.
You were in a somewhat secluded area of the park. You nodded your head, too focused on the way his eyes glistened in the sun to focus on his words.
"Alright, get on the board,” he said, letting you go.
You were in an empty space away from what you considered experts, but Satoru somehow considered novices. Geto and Shoko were off skating doing tricks you could only dream of.
“Will you hold my hand?” Your voice was soft as if you were afraid of his answer.
Gojo was a kind person, one of the friendliest guys you had ever been with. You knew he’d say yes, but you somehow feared a reaction from him anyway.
“Of course,” he said, slipping his hand into yours, his eyes watching you steadily. His smile was soft as he watched you. You stepped onto the shaky board. You felt like a baby, learning to walk for the first time. As you were gathering the courage to place your other foot on the board, you slipped and fell into him. His hand wrapped around your waist as he caught you. You were pressed against his chest, gripping his arm tightly.
“I told you I’d catch you,” he whispered gently.
This was the Satoru you had fallen in love with. The one who would catch you no matter what. He held you up straight on the board, holding both of your hands.
“We’re going to move now, okay?” He spoke lowly. His voice was comforting. You felt like you could do anything with him around.
He took slow steps, moving you on the board. You wobbled, leaning into him ever so often. You let out a soft laugh when you picked up speed a bit.
“You’re doing it,” he laughed with you, proud of your accomplishments. “I bet you’ll be a better skater than me in no time,” he whispered the words as if they were meant for you and you alone.
You smiled with a wordless reply.
"Satoru,” you heard Getou call for him.
Satoru’s eyes were trained on you, keeping you balanced as he replied quickly, “Hold on."
You held onto him as he walked with you on the skateboard, allowing you to get used to being on the board.
“I’m gonna let go soon, okay?" he spoke “Don’t panic, just keep your balance and breathe.” His voice was steady as he spoke to you.
You felt so at ease listening to his gentle words. Confidence surged through you as he gently pulled away, setting you free to sail. You let out nervous laughter as you continued rolling. You stood up straight, feeling braver.
“I’m doing it, I’m really doing it, Toru,” you called out to him, excitement racing through your blood. You turned your head in the direction he had previously been, searching for his smiling face, only to see him gone. Your wide eyes filled with disappointment as you turned your head, searching for him.
“Satoru?” You called out for him.
Your attention was so focused on the blue-eyed boy missing in action that you failed to see the upcoming railing blocking your path. Before you knew it, your body was going one way and the skateboard the other. You lay face-first on the ground, groaning from a mixture of pain and embarrassment. Your mind could barely focus on the pain from your bleeding knee due to fear that he had seen you fall. You sat up, watching your skateboard slowly roll away from you. What a great day to wear shorts without knee pads. Shoko walked over to you and held out her hand, which you gladly took. Your eyes searched for the boy who had failed to catch you. Your heart felt as if it had been sliced into pieces once you saw him. He was far off, standing with Getou and a girl with short brown hair. She was, in simpler terms, gorgeous. Gojo threw his head back, laughing at something she was saying. Not only was she pretty, but she was also funny.
“So much for being there to catch you,” Shoko grumbled as she helped you stand straight.
“Who’s that girl?” you asked.
Your eyes stared woefully at the two. It wasn’t like you were jealous, of course, he could have friends who were girls.
“You’re bleeding are you okay?”
“She’s really pretty." You spoke, lost in thought.
“It’s not too bad I have some bandages in my bag.”
“Do you think he saw?”
“I don’t know; let me check.”
Shoko turned to look at the three mingling. Gojo was leaning into the girl, smirking softly as she spoke to him, never breaking eye contact. His hand moved to push a stray hair behind her ear, and you watched as a soft blush appeared on her cheeks. You felt like you were third-wheeling with how intimate their conversation seemed to be. Getou was long gone skating with other friends, leaving the two behind. Her eyes stared into his with that same look you knew all too well. Those damn blue eyes were trapping her in the same way they did you.
“She’s really pretty.”
“I wonder where I’ve heard that before.”
“Do you think she’s a good skater?” You wanted to tear your eyes away from them, but you couldn’t pull away from the sight of him flirting right in front of you.
“Stop comparing yourself." You fell silent at Shoko’s words, “Her beauty does not invalidate yours.”
You looked down, ashamed of your jealousy. You couldn’t help the anger and jealousy that boiled inside of you watching him mingle with someone who wasn’t you. Shoko wiped your knee clean as she continued her rant.
“Stop letting his validation define your worth,” she whispered.
Disappointment was laced in her voice. It wasn’t that she was particularly disappointed in you. She was disappointed in how you completely lost yourself in Gojo. He had somehow controlled your every waking being. His passions were your passions, and his dislikes were yours. You were engulfed in the desire to be everything he wanted, yet there he was right before your eyes, proving to you yet again that you were nothing more than just a pretty girl who gave it up to him.
“I’m sorry.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you watched Shoko sit next to you.
“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to yourself,” she said as she lit another cigarette. “And don’t forget to forgive yourself; that’s the most important part.”
You sat in silence, watching everyone around you. Shoko promised to stay with you for the rest of the day because she was tired of skating. She sat scrolling mindlessly with her head on your shoulder. Your eyes scanned the park, never failing to land on the boy you just couldn’t seem to get out of your head. His attention was all over the girl you had deemed a goddess in disguise. She was pretty, funny, and a damn good skater. You watched mesmerized at the tricks she was pulling off.
"Damn, she’s good,” you whispered.
“That could be you if you want to practice some more, don’t worry, I’ll actually be here," Shoko commented
You sat for a moment, contemplating the idea. Skating wasn’t really your thing. You were slightly disappointed that you were just coming to this realization after paying damn near 100 dollars for your board.
“I actually don’t think skating is for me,” you admitted.
Shoko hummed in response, too engulfed by a TikTok video.
The sun was finally going down when Getou walked over skateboard in hand.
“You two kids ready to go?” You nodded your head like a child as you stood with Shoko.
"Satoru,” he called across the nearly empty park.
You peeked behind him to see Gojo whipping his phone out, handing it to the girl who had captured his attention for the day. You rolled your eyes and began limping back to the car. The pain of the scrape had eased, but you still wanted to clean it when you got home.
“Need help?” Shoko walked up behind you.
“No thanks,” you said softly, wanting to be alone for a bit.
She patted your back and gave you a soft smile before running ahead to jump onto Geto’s back.
"Asshole!” he yelled as he stumbled, trying to find balance.
You smiled at the two and continued your slow pace.
“Pretty girl, wait up." You turned around to see a smiling Gojo chasing you.
You silently cursed yourself at the feeling of your heart skipping a beat because of the nickname he always called you.
You rolled your eyes before turning around. You knew he’d catch up to you with his long legs.
“Hey, what happened? Why are you limping?” His voice was filled with worry.
You stopped in your tracks, feeling the rage suddenly boiling over inside of you.
“Oh wow, now you care." You practically yelled.
He flinched from the sudden outburst. He had never really heard or seen you so angry.
“You promised to teach me how to skate.” Your pointer finger stabbed him in the chest. “You promised to stick with me. You promised to catch me if I fell,” you continued.
His mouth hung open, too surprised to form words to speak.
“I was bleeding from my knee and you were too busy flirting to even notice.”
He stared silently, allowing you to continue.
“You didn’t pay attention to me, not once while we were here, and you now have the nerve to ask what happened?!” You scoffed, rolling your eyes, and began limping towards the car.
Gojo grabbed your hand, pulling you back to him.
"Wait, I’m sorry.” He gave you a soft pout.
You hated the way his wide eyes had such an effect on you. “I shouldn’t have abandoned you today. I’m a jerk, I’m an asshole, and whatever name you want to call me.” His fingers rubbed circles into your skin as he attempted to ease your anger.
“You are an asshole and a jerk. I’m glad you noticed.” You made an attempt to pull away, but he held your wrist tight.
“Let me make it up to you.”
“How are you going to make it up to me?”
“Come back to my place, and I’ll show you.” His arm wrapped around the small of your back, pulling you in close.
You were breathing in his familiar scent. Your heart was beating so hard in your chest that it was impossible for him not to hear.
“I don’t care about any of your sleazy tricks, Gojo.”
You pulled away.
“Gojo? What happened to Toru or Pretty Boy?” He was chasing after you pulling you back into him. You didn’t want to feed his ego, not when you were seething with anger.
“Listen, come over tonight, no sleazy tricks, no asshole or jerk Gojo, just me, you, and whatever you want to do. I care about you, and I’m so sorry I made you feel like I didn't. Let me make it up to you.”
He stared at you with a pleading look. His wide eyes held so much desperation as if his world would fall apart if you said no.
"Please,” he begged, waiting for your reply.
You rolled your eyes and let out a deep sigh.
“Fine Gojo. I’ll come over.”
You wanted to grab the words as soon as they left your mouth. You should’ve said no. You should’ve stood your ground. You should have made him feel the way he made you feel when he openly flirted in front of you. You wanted to scream because, for some reason, you could never pull away from him. It was as if he held a magnet that you couldn’t help but pull into.
You sat silently in the car, preparing yourself to sit angrily in Gojo’s home. Why even go at this point? Perhaps you knew you were never really angry. More so, you were jealous. Why couldn’t it be you that he wanted to be with all the time? Why couldn’t he whisper sweet nothings into your ear that made you giggle like a schoolgirl? Why couldn’t he just reciprocate your love? It wasn’t that he ‘couldn’t’ he just wouldn’t do it. Part of you knew that, but some part of you still wanted to try.
When Getou pulled up to Gojo’s house, you tried to ignore the disappointed headshake Shoko gave you. You wanted to ignore the insistent feeling of dread bubbling inside you, screaming to get back in the car. You had planned on standing your ground. Of course, you weren’t going to sleep with him. Last time was the last time, and that was final.
“Get comfy, let me go grab some new bandages for your knee.”
You sat on his couch, taking steady breaths. Every time you came here you felt as if it were the first time. Your palms were sweating profusely. Your heart felt like it was seconds away from jumping out of your chest.
Gojo came back with a first-aid kit. His touch was so soft. You couldn't even look at him when you had so many emotions bubbling inside you.
"Gojo,” your call of his name was followed by complete silence as he focused on rubbing ointment on your knee.
"Gojo,” you called out to him louder. You know he could hear you.
"Toru,” you groaned, annoyed with his silence.
“Yes pretty?” He looked up at you with a playful smile.
You give him a pout.
“I- I need to say something." Your face is filled with frustration. You had to get this off your chest.
“I’m all ears.” He finished bandaging your knee and placed a kiss on it to top it off. He sat crisscrossed in front of you, his hand gently rubbing up and down your calf while giving you all his attention.
"Um, well.” You didn't know how to start.
Your attention was all over the place. His hand was still massaging your calf. Your thoughts were tracing back to the events of the day.
“What do you want from me?" You looked down, frustration covering your face.
"How can I show you I love you and you finally understand?” You clenched your jaw while unconsciously caving into yourself.
"I will always love you how I do, but I need you to feel something more for me than just lust." You hadn’t realized the tears that were beginning to fall. Your emotions felt like they were overpowering you. You wanted to scream, Why won't he choose you? You felt so small like the room was slowly growing smaller. You wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly feeling so vulnerable—too vulnerable.
“I wish you needed me. I want to be your number one,” you whimpered.
Gojo’s palm softly grabbed your face, wiping away your endless stream of tears.
"I—please let me make it up to you. I care about you so much, pretty,” he said, pulling you in for a kiss.
His lips felt like heaven. He was intoxicating. You breathed him in like a drug that you were unknowingly addicted to. His hands dragged hot trails on your skin as he deepened the kiss. It was filled with fire and passion you could've sworn he was telling you he loved you with his touch alone. You hated how you fell so easily for him. One touch alone, and he left you feeling weak in the knees. You wanted to pull away. When his hands dragged you to his room, you wanted to pull away because last time was the last time. When he dragged his lips down your naked body, apologizing with each kiss, you wanted to pull away. When his fingers peeled your panties down while his eyes focused on your face, watching your every reaction, you wanted to pull away. When his tongue licked between your folds, you knew you were far too deep to pull away.
“Spread your legs for me, baby, let me show you how much I care.” His voice was silky as his warm tongue pressed against your core. You arched your body into him, loving the way his tongue massaged your warmth. Your moans grew louder as his pace quickened. Gojo was eating you out as if he had something to prove. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling your body impossibly closer. His tongue lapped at your clit at an unrelenting pace. His groans vibrated against your core, leaving you a complete mess. Your hands gripped the sheet desperately, attempting to gather yourself. You were so close.
"Fuck, please- “ Your whimpers were cut off by another moan. Gojo was taking every part of you. The way he slurped your juices left you feeling embarrassed. How could he make you fall apart for him so easily each and every time? He pressed wet kisses to your thighs in between swallowing your essence messily. Your hands moved to his shoulder, clawing desperately. You were stuck between needing him and wanting nothing to do with him.
“Fuck, Toru, I hate you so much” you whined as you grew closer to your orgasm.
It was true. You hated him, every ounce of him. The way he made you feel, the way he could have you wrapped around his finger within seconds, the way he could have you trembling just from his tongue.
You felt like you had no control over your body. You were at his mercy, constantly giving yourself away to him.
"Wait, w-wait Toru” you whined
He pulled away with a deep breath. His face was drenched with your juices.
“You did so well for me, pretty girl.”
He crawled up to be at eye level with you. His lips pressed against yours, and once again, you were trapped in his soft presence. His hand gripped your waist, holding you in place while he positioned himself at your entrance. You could feel the beating of his heart against your own. It was like a drum to a song you had memorized over and over before.
“You still mad at me?” His voice was lower than before.
Of course, you were. One little orgasm wouldn’t change how you felt. You nodded your head. He rolled his tip against your clit earning a moan. His cock dipped into you, stretching you out with each inch.
“How about now?”
You couldn’t focus on his question. Your mouth hung open as you tried to adjust to his size.
He sat up and pressed your legs to your chest.
“That's okay, baby. Just lay back and let me make you feel good.” His voice was sultry.
Gojo rocked his cock in and out of you, smiling at the way you moaned. His eyes stared down at where the two of you met, captivated by the way you sucked him in.
“That’s it, pretty girl. Take this cock. So good for me.” His hands pushed down onto your thighs, folding you so he could have easier access.
The feeling of his cock gliding against your walls left you speechless. Your eyes were rolling back with each thrust. You felt butterflies in your stomach as he whispered how you were his good girl.
His.
Something about that word made you melt.
“Tell me who’s pussy this is."
"Yours,” you moaned, as if it were engraved in you to acknowledge yourself as his.
“It’s your Toru, always,” you whimpered.
You fell for him all over again.
This is the last time. You knew it was a lie.
His hips moved in circular motions as he pushed himself into you.
“You like that, huh?” He knew exactly how to make you feel good. He knew your body better than you.
“You like it when I fuck my pussy, don’t you?” he grunted. "Yeah, you do. Take this cock, baby, it’s all yours.”
Your heart fluttered. You felt a sense of possession as the words spilled past his lips.
"Mine,” you whispered. The words were probably hard for Gojo to hear over his grunts as he plunged his cock into you. “All mine,” you whimpered.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum,” he groaned. “You want my cum, baby? Want me to fill my pretty pussy to the brim?” He said, looking down at your shaking figure.
You were far too gone, still reeling from the possessive words being shared between the two of you.
Gojo thrusted into you sloppily as he neared his orgasm. His thumb circled your clit urging you to another orgasm.
“Make a mess for me, let me see how sloppy my pussy gets.”
You moaned loudly, shaking and shivering, as you were overcome by your orgasm. Your eyes squeezed shut as your juices sprayed against Gojo’s abs while he continued thrusting into you.
"Oh, Fuck Toru,” you whimpered.
Your watery eyes opened to see Gojo’s lust-filled gaze. His lip was pulled between his teeth as he fucked roughly into you, chasing after his orgasm.
“Cum inside of me, Toru. I need it, please." Your pleads were all Gojo needed before spurting his seed into you, whimpering about how good you were for him.
He leaned down into the crook of your neck as his thrust came to a halt. Your arms wrapped around him, holding him tight. His body felt so warm on top of you. Your mind went from a fucked out blur to a mess of thoughts. Your love-struck eyes gazed down at his still form with realization. You were more than just a body he could fuck; at least that’s what you were constantly telling yourself. It was so easy to say these things, but once his lips were on yours and his hands pulling you free from your clothes, you couldn’t find it in yourself to put these words into action.
Gojo pulled out of you to lay beside you. He pulled you so you were resting on his chest. You lay silently, staring into the darkness of the room.
You knew this had to be the last time. You knew you had to let go, and you knew you had to forgive yourself for taking so long to let go. You knew it was a bad religion to be in love with the brightest shade of blue. When he pulled out his phone to text the pretty girl from the skate park, asking to hang out with a winky face, you knew he’d never crave your love the way you did.
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🇲🇨 || Good At Other Things || CL16 x gf!Reader
Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, mean!charles, degrading kink, biting, google translated French, (slight) nipple play, breeding kink, pure filth
Wordcount: 1.8k
Request: Can i request a Charles smut? Lets say that he's playing video games/streaming, and the reader is constantly complaining how he sucks at the game or doesn't play it properly, and he gets so pissed that he literally destroys her brains out until she's begging him to stop
She sat in the living room, listening in on Charles’ complaints on how he always lost in his game
She slowly made her way into the bedroom and stood behind him. She landed her hands on his shoulders, softly messaging them as well as his neck
“You’re bad at that” She smiled, hearing Lando laugh through the headphones
“I’m just unlucky, baby” He sighed, leaning into his touch
“I bet I could do it better” She said, her hands softly playing with his hair
“Don’t be on her side, Lando” Charles said, properly after Lando had agreed on her statement
“Even he agrees. That must mean something, ange” She chuckled, stroking his cheek with the pad of her thumb
“Can’t you just keep quiet and look pretty” She shook her head softly, but laid over on the bed anyways, propping her head up on her arm, watching him still play
After a few rounds of her staying quiet, she spoke again after he lost again “You’re so bad at it, that it’s embarrassing” She laughed
“Look, Lando; I need to go, but I’ll see you soon, no?” Charles said, not looking over at his girlfriend who was laying on their bed
He closed the game as well as hung up with Lando. He took of his headphones and turned around in the chair
“Get over here” He said, manspreading like a whore on drugs, yet his face was with no emotion
She stood up from the bed, walking over to him. She got in his lap, forcing him to close his legs. Her hands was on his shoulders, a shit eating grin on her face
She drove in for a kiss, put he stopped her, putting a finger on her lips “You’re a bad girl. You know that, right?” He asked, his thumb gliding over her bottom lip
“Am I? Or am I just telling the truth” She was cocky, acting as if him calling her a bad girl didn’t make her panties wetter than the Nile
“Like I said, a bad girl” His lips were now on her neck, kissing her softly as his fingers danced down her body, landing on the waistband of her shorts
“And, either bad girls don’t get what they want, or they get much to handle. And, I don’t know what I’m in the mood for today” His teeth sunk into her skin harshly, making her yelp with a mixture of a moan
“I think I’ll choose the latter” He murmured against her skin, licking over the marks his teeth had made
His hand went into her shorts, two fingers pressing against her clit through her panties, making her moan loud and grip onto his shoulders tight
“P-please” She breathed into his ear as she started placing soft kisses on the spot where his jaw and neck connected
He chuckled softly, but circled her clit anyways, causing a breathy moan to slip through her lips
“N-need m-more. P-please” She pleaded breathy into his ear
“No, I think this is just fine, mon ange” His words drew out a desperate whine from her, rocking her hips into his fingers
His hand on her hip tightened, holding her still from her rocking
“I n-need you, amour” She whimpered breathy, almost a moan as he fastened his fingers, her body already shaking
“I know, and you will. More than you need” He said the words in the raspy French accent he knew she loved
She loved it so much, that he was certain she could come just from his voice
She squirmed at the idea of him pulling so many orgasm out of her, that she’ll feel it for days on end
“You’d like that, huh? You’d like it if I pull so many orgasms out of you that you’ll feel it standing so pretty in the garage on Sunday? Hm?” He asked, feeling her thighs shake around his own
“Fuck. Yes. Want to feel you for weeks” She panted, feeling her first of many orgasm built up
“Weeks, huh?” He asked with a teasing tone, sending her right over the edge
She almost screamed his name as she came, clenching around nothing as she did
He rubbed her through her orgasm, letting her head fall to the crook of his neck as she came down
He placed his hands under the back of her thighs, picking her up, letting her legs snake around his hips. His actions drew a yelp out of her
He threw her softly down onto the bed, watching as her body bounced off of it slightly
“You’re so beautiful, mon amour” He smirked, lowering himself to slide down her shorts and panties
He threw them to the ground, kissing the insides of her thighs, watching as he could see her nipples poking through the thin, tight, top she was wearing
“You’re so beautiful like this, ange” He kissed up the insides of her thighs, getting closer to where she needed him so bad, even after her first orgasm
She was squirming under his touch, gripping tightly at the sheets. She whimpered as he kissed the area around her clit, but not directly
He finally gave in, licking his tongue through her wet folds, stopping at her clit, putting pressure on it, making her moan softly
“Fuck, amour. Feels so good” She said as he started flicking her clit with his tongue “Please, don’t stop. Feels s’good” She chanted, bucking her hips up into his mouth
His hands grabbed her hips, pushing her down against the bed. He pulled away from her, looking up at her “Lay still, putain”
She hated how he knew that calling her all kinds of filthy words in French. He knew how turned on she got. He knew she could come just from hearing him degrade her, even if she didn’t understand a single word that came out of his mouth
“Fuck. You. Charles.” She breathed, still not feeling him on her clit again
“It’s the opposite way, hunny” He smiled, attaching his tongue on her again
“P-please, Charles. Fuck, you feel so good” One of her hands went to his hair, tangling her fingers with the strands, while the other dug the nails into his forearm that held her hip
“Fuck- Charles, ‘m gonna-“ She didn’t get to finish her sentence as his name rolled of her tongue like a prayer as she came, her whole body shaking rapidly, her hand tight in his hair, making him groan
She started whining and whimpered as he didn’t slow down or stop his tongue. He pulled his arm on her hip away and roughly entering two of his fingers into, not giving her a chance to adjust before he started curling them, hitting just the right spot inside her
“N-no. Charles… Please- ‘s too much. I can’t- ah. P-please… T’much” Her words were slurred, as well as her vision
Her whole body shook from the overstimulation. She was unable to lay still at this point, even though he had said she was gonna
“Come for me, amour” He said, before reattaching his tongue to her clit, speeding up as well as his fingers
Her legs closed around Charles’ head as she came, her hand so tight in his hair she was sure she had pulled some out
Her body was shaking rapidly. She sighed as she felt him slow down and pull out and away from her
Her eyes were closed, too fucked out to comprehend anything around her. She didn’t notice that Charles was ridding of his clothes
She whined at the touch of his hands on his inner thighs, pushing them apart so he could settle in between them
“Shh… You’re alright” He soothed her, pulling at her arms to get her to sit up. Her body was limp against his as he pulled her top over her head and threw it to the ground
He slowly laid her down again, his lips tracking across her skin soothing her “You okay, mon amour?” He asked, kissing over her nipples, hearing her whimper at it
“Mhm” She hummed, nodding as he kissed up to her lips again
“Good” He said, placing her legs around his waist
“Charles” She whimpered his name in a way that sent shivers all the way down his spine, and made his cock twitch
“God, you make me crazy, woman” He chuckled, slowly pushing into her, hearing her whine
She already clenched rapidly around him, making him groan as he allowed her to adjust to him
“Je t’aime tellement” I love you so much. He breathed into her ear, feeling her nails drag down his back, leaving marks for him to feel
“Move… Please” She whined, pushing his hips further into hers, hoping to get some friction, which was unsuccessful
“Thought you said it was too much?” He chuckled kissing her jaw softly
“Want you to come inside me” She was breathing heavily as he pulled almost all the way out, before slamming into her again
He proceeded to do so a few times before he sat a rhythm he liked, as well as her
He sat up, holding her waist as he slammed into her, hitting her just the right spot, getting her to scream out his name, her back arching off the bed, her eyes rolled back into her head
“Want me to come in you, baby? Want me to knock you up? Want to have little ones running around? Want to make me a daddy?” He chuckled at the way she nodded her head rapidly as best as she could
“Yeah?” He asked in a seductive tone “You gonna be such a good mommy” He groaned, feeling her clench around him, pulling him closer to the edge
“C-Charles” She whined, holding on to his forearms “‘m close” Her eyes were shut tight
“I know, amour. Me too” He groaned, his thrusts getting sloppier and out of rhythm “Come for me, ange”
Only a few sloppy thrusts later, and she was coming around him, leaving marks of her nails in his forearms
Just the sight of her pulled him over the edge. He stilled his hips, coming deep inside her
He pulled out of her, quickly replacing his cock with his fingers, fucking the cum into her, making sure nothing escaped
He laid down beside her, pulling her body into his, feeling her rapid breathing as well as his own
“You might be bad at video games, but you’re good at other things” She chuckled lazily, sleep taking over her
#smut#formula one#charles leclerc x reader smut#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc
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I haven't visited Warframe Wiki in MONTHS let's catch up a bit and reminisce about Lotus Eaters :D
Seeing "Natah/Lotus/Margulis" together on the wiki in a new quest 🥹.....
the Operator, Drifter, Lotus system family........ I love when they're shown to care for each other. I really hope there's more opportunities for them to just respond and react to each other. After the Hex quest I'm more than certain DE can meet the demand for affection from our OG Tenno family.
We should all be collectively freaking out about the sentence, "The Indifference is affecting the Lotus now".
It is so cruel, for a character who was constantly dehumanized, accused of being unfeeling, uncaring, evil... who all this time, struggled to prove that she cared, that she was as human as everyone... to get consumed by an embodiment of the very thing everyone tried to vilify her for. I am scared for her.
So the Lotus system can hear: their headmates' voices, the Indifference's call, the cries of Void Angels, the sounds of "Devils" that we don't know if they're alluded to as physical entities yet, and the cacophony i can only imagine that is the calls of life. How she hasn't suffered a sensory overload is incredible and heartbreaking.
I'm so, so, so happy DE is explicitly writing plurality into our Space Moms. It cemented the Lotus system as my favourite characters of all time... There's never been a character I met that was this thematically cohesive, this conceptually interesting. She's just so, so, so good.
I think it's so cute that the Lotus system refers to their body as their "shell"....... with how crustacean-like Natah is, I also described her body with words like shell and carapace in my fics before so this just makes me smile big big ^_^
I like this line. I read it as DE not at all regretting the direction they went with in regards to the Lotus' story. She was abused, she was hindered, mocked, and constantly punished for doing the one thing she wanted to do: Love her family, the Tenno. And the system saying this out loud is an unflinching point of confidence, that they know they were deeply wronged.
However, I do admit I would've liked to see a bit of Natah/Lotus/Margulis' reflecting on their past actions and what they were forced to do. This quest admittedly doesn't seem like the best place for an "I feel guilty about the things I did when I thought I was right, or when I was under the control of another" emotional beat, and this kind of subject (a victim's conflicting feelings after traumatic events) needs to be handled carefully and with enough time for nuance. So I'm content with sitting with it for now.
I still sometimes see people struggling with the point that Margulis is straight up just living inside Natah's/the Lotus' body. Like, yes, the Original Margulis was executed before the Old War, and the situation she's in right now (being a Human Mind in a Sentient Body) really is the Ship of Theseus dilemma... but idk i feel like accepting that the Lotus system feels and remembers the pain of the Jade Light is easier than making the "how Natah/Lotus will never be Margulis" speech again.
Besides, I think the "Natah and Margulis are formed from Lotus' perspective of them" theory/headcanon is enough to explain why Margulis is with them... but somehow I don't think plural concepts are well-known to the average person lol
The idea of all 3 of them mourning Margulis' death but not wanting to change it is just. OOOOOOOOUUUGH... my heart....... Margulis chose to die but she was never allowed her death. Margulis chose to die but she can never regret it. The system was shaped by everything they faced, all the good, all the bad, and they know taking anything apart means losing themselves. They don't want to lose who they are... they don't want to lose each other........ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I read a comment somewhere that pointed out something I missed: The Tenno are all about taking one's pain away. What would they do about someone who wants to keep her pain? Someone who is in the early stages of Rell's situation, face to face with the Indifference? ....... Lotus nightmare sequence please? :3
No, Lotus..... I don't............. :<
I'm very scared to find out what her deal with the Indifference exactly was. I hope it shatters my heart.
I do wonder if DE is gonna mention Rell again now that the Lotus system took up his role. I still hold onto that Copium that Margulis was framed for casting him out, or that there was something from other perspectives that we were missing regarding how these two treated each other... Regardless, I think it would be nice for us to see the Lotus system reflect on Rell and what happened to him.
My Working Theory for the future of the Lotus System is that she'll continue guarding the Origin System from the Indifference, but not without consequence. When Lotus ascends to Godhood and takes up that gatekeeper role, she's gonna be in close proximity to the Void. I think there might be an arc where she accepts the Void and all its flaws into her body, a la Dark Matter in Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon :P
Leave it to a Sentient AI plural system to be The Great Sentient Queens of Multitasking :P
I want to know more about what other people observe about her SO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD. I WANNA BE THE ONE OBSERVING HER BEHAVIOURS, I wanna see more of her facial expressions, her little twitches, her posture, her quirks, her attitude changes when she switches. I want to hear more of her singing, I want to be there to comfort her, I want my Tenno to talk to her and I want her to respond in kind.
I just want MORE LOTUS and I now have dangerously high expectations for her writing and the way she's going to be portrayed in future quests. DE is setting up something huge and I can only hope the time it takes for them to finally release it manages to temper my expectations.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I need to end post now. Oh Space Moms. We love you so so so much.
#this is fun.....#thinking about replaying new war and making similar posts#there is so much i HAVEN'T said about new war so many little details i adore and adore and adore but never hear ppl talk about#warframe#leoframe#the lotus eaters#warframe lotus#the lotus#natah#margulis#warframe natah#warframe margulis#plural lotus
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