#i .think i have to put my phone down
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baby is you christmas special where ult dirk busts in through the apartment window dressed like an angel. he is in a harness attached to a rope despite his ability to fly. he lands acrobatically on his feet while covered in scratches, theres a massive glass shard in his arm but he pays it zero mind. bro is also there, unalarmed, giving him a deadpan look. sup ult dirk says. sup bro returns.
theres a whole surprisingly well done bit about a puppet birds and the bees lesson (with rap) and bro’s like ok can we just get on with it. and ult dirk’s like i dont have a dick. so they like ectoteleport a fetus into bro just so he can abort it but he eats it so they have to try again. ult dirk’s been bleeding this entire time but neither of them choose to acknowledge it and it can only be conveyed through the single’s art.
#the true meaning of christmas is a theme and this ends up being the longest baby is you being a whopping 30 minutes bc its fucking dirk talk#ing and thats all he does. theres a montage of them riding horses and taking pregnancy photos#d talks#i .think i have to put my phone down#MR CARIAGE.
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Okay I promise I will try to shut up about this specific moment in AA soon but. The dive into the past in Turnabout Succession with the whole Magnifi Gramarye case and its aftermath is already heartbreaking on its own but what I think is the most heartbreaking thing about it is how the gameplay itself carries out. I mean they could've let the player watch the case unfold as usual and then have Phoenix simply yell "HOLD IT!!" and present the single piece of evidence that got him disbarred completely on his own (no less tragic, but at least it's like hearing someone recount a memory) but they actually gave the player the choice. Or the illusion of it
A screen pops up with two single options, "Show evidence" and "No need", and of course you hesitate to click on either because this happens in the last few stretches of the game and you already know what consequences this will have. It will be bad. You try to change the outcome, click "No need". After some quick dialogue, it goes back to that screen. You click it again. It circles back to those two options. And again. And again. And then you realize you never really had a choice after all and you click "Show evidence" and then of course it ends badly. Which you knew already, but couldn't prevent
With this game dynamic you're not just witnessing this story—you become part of that case. You're forced to give the wrong advice even if you're aware it's wrong, and you're forced to knowingly doom Phoenix Wright with your own two hands
#saw a tiktok of a slideshow that started with that one image of the trolley problem#except it was edited to only have one track#and then there were screenshots of that case#i had to put my phone down and think about it for a little bit#ace attorney is about cross-examining parrots and also about heartwrenching stories of people getting their lives ruined. what about it#i wonder how fucked up it would be if this case was at the beginning instead#like. you either choose to show the evidence because it's an obvious win. and you're left with the aftermath#or you're suspicious and click 'no need' only to end back to that screen again and again until you comply#all while being aware that something is very very wrong#finding out about what happened at the very end is much more interesting#narratively it's probs the best choice#but it would put you basically in phoenix's shoes wouldn't it. same emotions same thoughts#'oh a little girl gave me this evidence. it must be trustworthy'#anyway i'm gonna cry#not only bc of that but also because of the 2d art. i love the new cases but the 3d creeps me out a bit sometimes#the style in apollo justice was PEAK#ace attorney#phoenix wright#apollo justice#lonely thoughts
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interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that… i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!
#marzi speaks#it’s . probably bc of the vasculitis thing#which like. while it is a traumatic thing that i need to work through and plan on going to therapy about#it also put a LOT of things into perspective for me#and like actually i do not think i am afraid of growing up anymore !#i mean i still have like. the imposter syndrome and the fear of getting overwhelmed and falling behind#that’s not gonna go away overnight that’s been there for as long as i can remember#BUT!! i know deep down that i can figure it out now.#bc i figured out a lot. i figured out how to gauge my physical well being#i figured out how to be someone who can regularly make phone calls without crying#i figured out pharmacies. and i’m figuring out how insurance works#and appointments and withdrawing from school and reapplying to school#and all of the lifestyle changes that come with having an autoimmune disease#i’m learning self advocacy. i’m learning how to respond when people treat me poorly (always accidentally so far)#yeah getting my license has been hard and slow just bc i have all the anxiety shit about it. but i AM putting that effort in#i dunno it’s just. adult responsibilities are horrifying and the prospect of existing independently in our current society#is horrifying. and i think i’ll always be scared.#but i used to think i might not be able to handle it. that i would fall apart#i know now that i won’t. i will find a way to move forward and be happy. because that’s what i’ve always done#if i can take the scariest couple of months in stride the way that i have. then i think i can handle it#anyways. 19 was eventful enough can i be 20 now. i think being 20 would be good for me#still a Weird thing to think about. two whole decades. but like i can do it methinks
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it would seem that the internet lines got damaged because of the massive storm that we had here; so i deeply apologize for being spotty when i said that i had a day off & i was going to do a bunch of replies. i'm hoping that it comes back by tomorrow & i can be more reliable about things ;; we still have three more days to relax, so i will definitely be getting to what i owe to everyone !!
#ℕ𝕆 𝕆ℕ𝔼 𝕄𝔸𝕂𝔼𝕊 𝕀𝕋 𝕆𝕌𝕋 𝔸𝕃𝕀𝕍𝔼 / out of character.#i can be silly on my blog on my phone & answer small asks but i don't want to try to do any serious writing bc#if i lose it bc of the unstable connection i will literally rip out my hair & bawl my eyes out#so writing might have to be on hold until it gets sorted out#there is a TON of trees down all along my road; so we are thinking that our cable lines got damaged somewhere#for now i just put on a movie i have pre - downloaded on my pc & try to take a little nap bc i've been kicking since 5 am this morning#tbd /
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discovered that the reason I can't put my phone down when I'm watching something is apparently not, in fact, the phone addiction I have been concerned about, but in fact a symptom of The Disorder
#aka if I have a fidget toy to keep my hands busy I have no problem putting my phone down#didn't think I was the fidget toy kind of adhd but here we are I guess??#Lu rambles
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What is one conspiracy theory that you wholeheartedly believe?
I’ll go first:
That clothing companies conspire with handbag companies to take away women’s pockets or give us really sucky ones to make sure that we are forced to buy bags so that we can actually carry all our shit.
#seriously this is something i think about way more than i probably should#what do you mean my phone won’t fit in my front pocket?#or even the back one sometimes?#what do you mean that putting my phone in my pocket will drag my shorts down?#what do you mean men get all the good pockets?#what do you mean sometimes i can’t even fit my freaking fingertips into my front pocket?#what do you mean sometimes it looks like something has pockets but they’re fake?#my family calls them fockets#fake + pockets = fockets#you have to be really careful when you say it though#cause otherwise it just sounds like you’re cursing#why do men get all the pockets#where are our pockets#conspiracy theories#conspiracies#pockets#women’s pockets suck#clothing#handbag#handbags for women#ladies purses and handbags#purse#bags & purses#this post came to me while i was trying to fall asleep#and i literally jumped out of bed to type it out so that i wouldn’t forget it#what does that say about me?
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phone calls my detested
#i had to make a vet appointment and Wow i am not cut out for this whole independent adult thing lmfao#i had to write down a little script for myself...#i feel so bad for the receptionist i was stumbling and 'uhhhhh'ing my way through that call#fuck and when i was supposed to end the call. i didnt realize#I DONT KNOW THE PROTOCOL OKAY#do i hang up??? do i say bye??? she didnt say bye so was there something else i was supposed to say#she hung up so Yay but oughhhhhhh what the fuck#youre telling me people just Know how to carry a conversation? they just Know the routine? sounds fake#i had to rev myself up for the call too#put on a hat. put on sunglasses to trick my brain into thinking we're outside doing things thus fabricating confidence#phone in one hand fidget-dodecahedron in the other. Pacing#my brain is a normal brain that works perfectly fine thanks for asking#absolutely unprompted#i feel so connected to my neanderthal ancestors when i have to make a call#theyre being stalked by a smilodon... i have to talk to a person... same Fear <3#no but fr whenever i have to talk to someone my thought process shuts down Completely and i forget that im a living human being#fight or flight - neither. freeze and play dead#i think in my next life... i would like to be... a decorative plant#perhaps one of those tall ferns outside a seaside barbecue restaurant#i'd Win at that life. id be so good at photosynthesizing & rustling in the ocean breeze
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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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I am cringe but I am free I am cringe but I am free I am cringe but I am free I am cringe but I am free I am cringe bu
#HGAHAHHSSH#okay. I’m okay.#started to write some s/i/oc x canon stuff#probably won’t post it but I’ll share if asked I think#i have. so many thoughts#I just need to write them down#I need to make things for me but also mutuals you know what’s up#gonna put my phone in a drawer when I get home so I can focus on drawing and writing#mutuals free to ask to see or I will share over discord on request if I have anything
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sometimes i feel like extending the kindness you can, when you can, is the only thing there is
#two days ago on the train home from work there was a woman next to me with three very young kids.#she was trying to keep them in the seats#exasperated and tired and yelling.#trying to make a phone call as the kids swung on the handrails and did cartwheels in the train car#i wasn't trying to listen to the call but caught that somebody had died in a station.#I tried to mind my business for a few minutes;#the kids bounced around as their mom tried to wrestle them down and took a swig from a bottle of vodka in their wagon.#when there was a break in her phone call i said “this is none of my business but if you want me to keep the kids busy I can try to help.”#and she said “you're not gonna be able to. they're being real bad. but you can try.”#so I took some post-its out of my backpack and folded them tiny paper cranes#(I tried showing them how to fold cranes but they were far too young for fine motor skills.)#I stuck post-its to the seats and gave them my pens so they could scribble and draw.#I told them I'd draw them anything they wanted if they sat in the seats while I drew.#I challenged them to a breath-holding contest.#When one started showing me that he could do cartwheels in the car aisle I asked him to come sit down and I could draw him doing a flip.#All in all I think they ended up more or less in the vicinity of the seats almost all of the time and having some kind of fun -#I almost missed my stop. I gathered my pens and pencils back from the kids and picked up the post-it confetti from the floor#and when I was putting my helmet on and grabbing my bike the kids waved goodbyeand the mom looked grateful#and told the kids to all say goodbyelike clearly they were in rough times#like clearly they were in rough times#money. health. holding on#there is so much I can't give#but I can give twenty-five minutes
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little man on an adventure :]
#i have wifi for a bit yay#safe traveling so far !! very excited to hopefully get to sit down and break in the new sketchbook this evening :]#Chase and Sunny helped me put together some rly fun outfits so im going to try drawing those#i think partially why im so okay rn is that i barely slept last night so im just kind of floating thru the day in a haze LMAO#i forgot to bring my notebook though so i cant work on writing or worldbuilding unless i write in my sketchbook aheemheem ue ue ue#(i dont like typing stuff on phone fjdkdl my fine motor skills are Not super great irt phone typing)#anyways !!! i hope everyone has a good week 🫶 I'll probably be annoying with photo posting so lemme come up w a tag ummm...#lil guz adventures#<- here block this tag if u don't want to see these kinds of posts !#dandy.cmd
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Somewhere out there is a long-haired bi man whose female crushes always turn out to be lesbians and we will be perfectly matched
#hey girl if you have to take out your phone and google ‘which earring is the gay side’ I think you already know#put the phone down#my life
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i am soooo sick of pants and blazers also not having pockets on them and having fake pockets the big purse industry needs to die NOW! all of this is a ploy so that women need to buy bags to put their things in bc they have no pockets like men do. and trust when i say i also wear men’s pants and the size of the pockets is CRAZY compared to the majority of pockets on women’s pants. i do not want a purse. i will never buy a purse. let me have pockets to put the like 3 things i need when i go outside so i can live my life. thankfully most of the pants i have have at least some type of pockets even if minuscule but this needs to end. down w big purse!!!!!! big pocket NOW!!!!!!
#michelle speaks#like i got new dress pants and a new blazer and both of them have fake pockets on them#like oh so u know the pockets look good? and yet u don’t want to give me real ones? ok!#bc it’s like i would legit have to just hold my phone in my hand like i’m not going to put my phone in my backpack??#i usually just avoid wearing my pants w no pockets but i didn’t realize those didn’t have pockets when i bought them#i don’t think i’ve gottten a single blazer w real pockets though 🙄#i have multiple pairs of women’s pants tho that have multiple pockets on them and like BIG pockets and those r great#but that is not the standard for women’s pants unfortunately. and those r a specific style.#but it’s crazy when i wear men’s pants and the pockets go halfway down my thigh i’m like wow i could fit anything in here basically#but like this is 100% intentional to get u to buy bags. many of these brands sell their own bags they want u to buy. well i won’t!#and now i won’t buy ur pants either so i guess we both lose in the end
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Hello I had a crazy idea with April and Roy in Wishful Thinking may I share it with you....
GRABS YOU
SHAKES YOU
TELL ME
I'LL EVEN DRAW IT IF YOU WANTTT
ALSO THIS REMINDED ME TO EXPLAIN HOW THEY GAIN THEIR CHANGES
#fun fact#got so excited#i had to put down my phone for a second#I DON'T HAVE A REACTION PICTURE#TO SHOW HOW /POS THIS IS#THIS IS VERY /VPOS#Wishful Thinking!🌀
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fee waiver application denied 😔 i'm just too rich i guess 😎 (makes one dollar above minimum wage)
#teeth.txt#changing my name and the fee is like 300 cash which is a little crazy 2 me#but i do have a full time job and very few expenses (e.g. not paying for my own insurance)#so like fiiiiiiiiiine i'll cough it up it won't put undue hardship upon me -_-#doesn't hurt to try lol#i think maybe i filled out the application bad. it was confusing. so that probably did not help anything#also when i called the person on the phone was like um yeah our system is actually down right now ? but hopefully next week it will be fixed#and then you can come schedule a court date#girl next week ?? it's tuesday ???? slow ass government IT team i guess
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