#i .think i have to put my phone down
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baby is you christmas special where ult dirk busts in through the apartment window dressed like an angel. he is in a harness attached to a rope despite his ability to fly. he lands acrobatically on his feet while covered in scratches, theres a massive glass shard in his arm but he pays it zero mind. bro is also there, unalarmed, giving him a deadpan look. sup ult dirk says. sup bro returns.
theres a whole surprisingly well done bit about a puppet birds and the bees lesson (with rap) and bro’s like ok can we just get on with it. and ult dirk’s like i dont have a dick. so they like ectoteleport a fetus into bro just so he can abort it but he eats it so they have to try again. ult dirk’s been bleeding this entire time but neither of them choose to acknowledge it and it can only be conveyed through the single’s art.
#the true meaning of christmas is a theme and this ends up being the longest baby is you being a whopping 30 minutes bc its fucking dirk talk#ing and thats all he does. theres a montage of them riding horses and taking pregnancy photos#d talks#i .think i have to put my phone down#MR CARIAGE.
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“It was always going to be like this.” / “It was never meant to be.”
#AHAHAHAA. IM. NORMAL. I TOTALLY DIDNT HAVE TO PUT MY PHONE DOWN AND STARE AT RHE WALL WHEN HE SAID THAT. I TOTALLY DIDNT YELL#OR SCREAM.#WND IM DEFINITELY NOT STILL THJNNJBG ABOUT IT. AND I DEFINITELY WILL NOT BE THINKING ABOUT IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. AHAHA.#dsmp#dream smp#mcyt#trafficblr#mcytblr#my posts#grian#wild life smp#traffic smp#life series#GODDD I. FUCKKKSIUUHHNNGGGBN#c!eret
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Okay I promise I will try to shut up about this specific moment in AA soon but. The dive into the past in Turnabout Succession with the whole Magnifi Gramarye case and its aftermath is already heartbreaking on its own but what I think is the most heartbreaking thing about it is how the gameplay itself carries out. I mean they could've let the player watch the case unfold as usual and then have Phoenix simply yell "HOLD IT!!" and present the single piece of evidence that got him disbarred completely on his own (no less tragic, but at least it's like hearing someone recount a memory) but they actually gave the player the choice. Or the illusion of it
A screen pops up with two single options, "Show evidence" and "No need", and of course you hesitate to click on either because this happens in the last few stretches of the game and you already know what consequences this will have. It will be bad. You try to change the outcome, click "No need". After some quick dialogue, it goes back to that screen. You click it again. It circles back to those two options. And again. And again. And then you realize you never really had a choice after all and you click "Show evidence" and then of course it ends badly. Which you knew already, but couldn't prevent
With this game dynamic you're not just witnessing this story—you become part of that case. You're forced to give the wrong advice even if you're aware it's wrong, and you're forced to knowingly doom Phoenix Wright with your own two hands
#saw a tiktok of a slideshow that started with that one image of the trolley problem#except it was edited to only have one track#and then there were screenshots of that case#i had to put my phone down and think about it for a little bit#ace attorney is about cross-examining parrots and also about heartwrenching stories of people getting their lives ruined. what about it#i wonder how fucked up it would be if this case was at the beginning instead#like. you either choose to show the evidence because it's an obvious win. and you're left with the aftermath#or you're suspicious and click 'no need' only to end back to that screen again and again until you comply#all while being aware that something is very very wrong#finding out about what happened at the very end is much more interesting#narratively it's probs the best choice#but it would put you basically in phoenix's shoes wouldn't it. same emotions same thoughts#'oh a little girl gave me this evidence. it must be trustworthy'#anyway i'm gonna cry#not only bc of that but also because of the 2d art. i love the new cases but the 3d creeps me out a bit sometimes#the style in apollo justice was PEAK#ace attorney#phoenix wright#apollo justice#lonely thoughts
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why do they do this and can they stop it please
#im gonna puke theyre so gross#ewwwwwww ew ew ew#can they fuck off i hate them so much#ship so ass i have to kill myself#hold on guys wait phone call#ok yeah theyre putting me down tommorow#clawing at my own face gnawing on the bars of my enclosure Guys im so OKAY !!!!!!!! im good !!!!!!#the mere sight of them makes me want to retch#its fucked up that they let this happen. why#jello shut up challenge#bill and ted#bad movies awful fucking movies. horrible characters fhe whole things shit#im like actually shaking#coughs up blood hey gusy hey#hi. passes out and hits my head on the corner of a conviniently placed table and dies instantly#i need to go like shake something really hard or something like actually theyve fucked up my brain to a concerning degree#whyd couldnt my autism hyperfixate on learning how to cook what the fuck is this#AAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??;;;_!“?$!!$!$!!?#kay im normal now i think#just btw ive spent like 20 minutes writing and deleting tags im. hhwwwhghh#twirling my hair kicking my feet im sooooooooo normal hahahha#ignore the laser pointed at my head. dont look at the sniper on that hill over there im normal im good !!!!!#hm. well i gues s the hyperfixation isnt dying thats good
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Happy anniversary to my favourite episode of my favourite show!!!
#nowhere boys#sam conte#“I have to go. Later gang. Yo!” My beloved#what can I say. I love hijinks and shenanigans. I live for shits and gigs.#so many great moments that weren't included cause I wanted to make it short and snappy#“Haven't you harassed my son enough?” “No.”#the discovery of the lair#more of Sam as Roland skating#his back hurts and he's got hair growing out of his ears!#they really got the late millennial/early gen z vibe down with Felix ignoring an unknown phone number#but seriously if I was Sam I'd be pissed#what do you mean I've been running around town in a body 3 times my age for several hours#got told off by your mum. had your best friend and little brother call me stupid.#finally convince both of them and you and our other friend that I am myself and that you swapped the two of us#just for you to tell me that while I've been going though all of that you DOBBED US INTO THE COPS?!?#like nah I'm out. We get Andy back and then you guys can find another 4th. The audacity...#in saying that completely understand why Felix and Jake did that and that's part of the reason I love this episode#everytime I watch this episode i think of the crack vid that someone made where they had put “You were in love with Andy”#over Sam as Roland pointing to Jake instead of pointing to Ellen and everytime I have to remind myself that wasn't canon
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interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that�� i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!
#marzi speaks#it’s . probably bc of the vasculitis thing#which like. while it is a traumatic thing that i need to work through and plan on going to therapy about#it also put a LOT of things into perspective for me#and like actually i do not think i am afraid of growing up anymore !#i mean i still have like. the imposter syndrome and the fear of getting overwhelmed and falling behind#that’s not gonna go away overnight that’s been there for as long as i can remember#BUT!! i know deep down that i can figure it out now.#bc i figured out a lot. i figured out how to gauge my physical well being#i figured out how to be someone who can regularly make phone calls without crying#i figured out pharmacies. and i’m figuring out how insurance works#and appointments and withdrawing from school and reapplying to school#and all of the lifestyle changes that come with having an autoimmune disease#i’m learning self advocacy. i’m learning how to respond when people treat me poorly (always accidentally so far)#yeah getting my license has been hard and slow just bc i have all the anxiety shit about it. but i AM putting that effort in#i dunno it’s just. adult responsibilities are horrifying and the prospect of existing independently in our current society#is horrifying. and i think i’ll always be scared.#but i used to think i might not be able to handle it. that i would fall apart#i know now that i won’t. i will find a way to move forward and be happy. because that’s what i’ve always done#if i can take the scariest couple of months in stride the way that i have. then i think i can handle it#anyways. 19 was eventful enough can i be 20 now. i think being 20 would be good for me#still a Weird thing to think about. two whole decades. but like i can do it methinks
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Or even better, you can become a YouTuber. That way you can edit your streams or just ramble non-stop about lore for shit you like
oh i fear that'd involve listening to my voice and i'd rather die than do that
#snap chats#there's no sound i hate more in the world than my own voice. that and forks scraping against plates but anyways#the idea's always sounded fun to me and im a firm believer you shouldnt let small things like hating your voice stop you#so who knows ... youd have to shoot me to get serious lore review videos out of me tho LMAO#i am NOT intelligente nor organized enough for that. im just a silly man on the internet#in any case i did used to post stream vods to my youtube. and then i deleted all of theme vjEAKJAEKVJ#at least with vods i could just post them since Theyre Vods theyre meant to be unedited and not reviewed and whatever#i did think of editing streams down so its not just like three hours of dead air and then SOMETHING mildly interesting happening#idk. maybe ill try recording a rivals vid tomorrow or something#see the idea of streaming just might be awkward if i want to look at chat tho since i only have one monitor buuut i do have a phone#and my tablet or whatever. i used to use my phone as a Slightly Better webcam than my cpu's built-in one but anyway#im putting too much thought into something im probably not gonna even do vJLKVJAELKJ#i like thinking ... cause again i just think itd be fun and silly and fun ..#OH WELL
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it would seem that the internet lines got damaged because of the massive storm that we had here; so i deeply apologize for being spotty when i said that i had a day off & i was going to do a bunch of replies. i'm hoping that it comes back by tomorrow & i can be more reliable about things ;; we still have three more days to relax, so i will definitely be getting to what i owe to everyone !!
#ℕ𝕆 𝕆ℕ𝔼 𝕄𝔸𝕂𝔼𝕊 𝕀𝕋 𝕆𝕌𝕋 𝔸𝕃𝕀𝕍𝔼 / out of character.#i can be silly on my blog on my phone & answer small asks but i don't want to try to do any serious writing bc#if i lose it bc of the unstable connection i will literally rip out my hair & bawl my eyes out#so writing might have to be on hold until it gets sorted out#there is a TON of trees down all along my road; so we are thinking that our cable lines got damaged somewhere#for now i just put on a movie i have pre - downloaded on my pc & try to take a little nap bc i've been kicking since 5 am this morning#tbd /
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discovered that the reason I can't put my phone down when I'm watching something is apparently not, in fact, the phone addiction I have been concerned about, but in fact a symptom of The Disorder
#aka if I have a fidget toy to keep my hands busy I have no problem putting my phone down#didn't think I was the fidget toy kind of adhd but here we are I guess??#Lu rambles
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What is one conspiracy theory that you wholeheartedly believe?
I’ll go first:
That clothing companies conspire with handbag companies to take away women’s pockets or give us really sucky ones to make sure that we are forced to buy bags so that we can actually carry all our shit.
#seriously this is something i think about way more than i probably should#what do you mean my phone won’t fit in my front pocket?#or even the back one sometimes?#what do you mean that putting my phone in my pocket will drag my shorts down?#what do you mean men get all the good pockets?#what do you mean sometimes i can’t even fit my freaking fingertips into my front pocket?#what do you mean sometimes it looks like something has pockets but they’re fake?#my family calls them fockets#fake + pockets = fockets#you have to be really careful when you say it though#cause otherwise it just sounds like you’re cursing#why do men get all the pockets#where are our pockets#conspiracy theories#conspiracies#pockets#women’s pockets suck#clothing#handbag#handbags for women#ladies purses and handbags#purse#bags & purses#this post came to me while i was trying to fall asleep#and i literally jumped out of bed to type it out so that i wouldn’t forget it#what does that say about me?
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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
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in honor of the tpot short with the failed debuters (assumedly) being announced soon heres my tierlist of all the tpot debuters most favorite to least
tags for longer opinions :3
#i dont really hate any of them and avocado is just down there because I kind of enjoy everyone else more . The only I feel like . Any kind+#+of Real negativity at all to are nonexisty and 9ball#nonexisty because fuck off and 9ball because that’s just 8ball but different gimmick . And 8ball is already not the best imo#tpot#happy taggy got in bc they n winner were my favorites . I have my reaction to taggy getting in recorded I love taggy a lot#what can I say im a :3 girl#i like leek because it’s a plant also they put a hatsune miku ref in the episode with the flip phone triple baka#pda is a device which is always awesome forever and it looks like theyr gonna have a role in the short which is :DDDDDD#onigiri is fun because it’s a fun romaji . it would also be funny if they called em jelly donut . but onigiri is cool they look like+#+a rocky clone Maybe or if they’re just mute hey I Really Like Mute Characters So Win. cause I Think they were the only one who didn’t+#+speak in the episode . Don’t take my word for it I haven’t watched tpot 1 in a while lol (I think boom mic didn’t speak either actually)#boom mic; clapboard; and camera I speak as 3 together . Theyre super awesome and it would be fun to see if they have a dynamic . Cuase+#+theyre like . All movie equipment . Idk I remember long back ago i roleplayed em they mean a lot to me#i like tha vhsy a little more because reminds me of that freak from TAOT who i just adore . Also novel rectangular thing also kind of prett#tape friend looks like a menace and I like characters that are menaces I think them and six could be friends#sink I just like the design of lol . also I like the song kitchen sink by tøp#salt lamp is cool because I like salt lamps and they’re pretty colors both on and off#shopping cart is silly . I like wheeled characters#blender is an appliance I like how they did the asset#discy’s prettyyyy colored#battery is small and cute they also might be the mute character idr I haven’t seen them talk personally . Feel free to correct me if any+#+info I say here is wrong btw#Snare drum is small and cool and I like how they look#Anchor is also I like how they look also listen to anchor by caize#shell is like emo and a good shape#rubber spatula; scissors; tax guy I forget their name; and shampoo I think have good designs#avocado im so sorry I just like everyone else more than u im not the biggest fan ever of things like donut mouth#and I already explained the last 2 awesome 👍
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bestie and I wanted to get into some comics (they want Whirl I'm tagging along for idk. lore probably. but Whirl is a big plus, I think he's neat) and I gotta say, I'm not a big comic reader but I'm having a great time. no wonder y'all love the comics. I mean there's so much fucked up shit in here and the lore is insane
#i kind of want like. a sparkeater oc#i am not even joking when i say im fucking OBSESSED with these things now#that was the coolest fucking thing ive ever seen (mtmte 3)#and like. this CRYING VIRUS? that's so fucked up. i love it.#i think im missing a lot of context but i rarely read comics and im used to having no idea what's going on#i can pick up bits and pieces well enough#ratkingrambles#transformers#mtmte#why are these so DARK THO. OMG. the wreckers run was DARK...#i know comics are a lot more gritty but holy shit#a lot of this stuff even i have to take a second to put my phone down#i 100% understand now why ive seen sparkeater Blitzwing art. that's brilliant#also love that y'all just have this dude whose whole thing is. eyebrows.
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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I am cringe but I am free I am cringe but I am free I am cringe but I am free I am cringe but I am free I am cringe bu
#HGAHAHHSSH#okay. I’m okay.#started to write some s/i/oc x canon stuff#probably won’t post it but I’ll share if asked I think#i have. so many thoughts#I just need to write them down#I need to make things for me but also mutuals you know what’s up#gonna put my phone in a drawer when I get home so I can focus on drawing and writing#mutuals free to ask to see or I will share over discord on request if I have anything
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sometimes i feel like extending the kindness you can, when you can, is the only thing there is
#two days ago on the train home from work there was a woman next to me with three very young kids.#she was trying to keep them in the seats#exasperated and tired and yelling.#trying to make a phone call as the kids swung on the handrails and did cartwheels in the train car#i wasn't trying to listen to the call but caught that somebody had died in a station.#I tried to mind my business for a few minutes;#the kids bounced around as their mom tried to wrestle them down and took a swig from a bottle of vodka in their wagon.#when there was a break in her phone call i said “this is none of my business but if you want me to keep the kids busy I can try to help.”#and she said “you're not gonna be able to. they're being real bad. but you can try.”#so I took some post-its out of my backpack and folded them tiny paper cranes#(I tried showing them how to fold cranes but they were far too young for fine motor skills.)#I stuck post-its to the seats and gave them my pens so they could scribble and draw.#I told them I'd draw them anything they wanted if they sat in the seats while I drew.#I challenged them to a breath-holding contest.#When one started showing me that he could do cartwheels in the car aisle I asked him to come sit down and I could draw him doing a flip.#All in all I think they ended up more or less in the vicinity of the seats almost all of the time and having some kind of fun -#I almost missed my stop. I gathered my pens and pencils back from the kids and picked up the post-it confetti from the floor#and when I was putting my helmet on and grabbing my bike the kids waved goodbyeand the mom looked grateful#and told the kids to all say goodbyelike clearly they were in rough times#like clearly they were in rough times#money. health. holding on#there is so much I can't give#but I can give twenty-five minutes
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