#it also put a LOT of things into perspective for me

[spacerace-secondplace]

I get the worst of this when I'm baking (because literally ANYTHING can go disastrously wrong and ruin the whole dish if you make a tiny mistake) and it's always been a huge block for me, because we're supposed to learn from our mistakes, y'know? But if I make a mistake that sets my progress back two hours then suddenly I'm too blinded by anger and frustration to accurately retrace my steps and plan what to do next... a lot of times I just quit, or I put out a half-assed product that I'm too ashamed to call something I made.

But! Recently I have begun to learn what has become a dish-saving strategy: asking for help! I would never do this before, because the Mad would turn me stubborn and tunnel-visioned and result in me metaphorically knocking my head against a brick wall demanding results. The worst thing is when it's something I know I'm competent at (like cooking!), so the lack of progress doesn't make sense. But recently I've begun to recognize that "help" can mean something different than "do this for me"; it can also mean "do you see an alternative path that I don't?"

An example: I was trying to make Oreo cream-filled cupcakes the other day. The cupcakes came out perfect, and the filling tasted great, but for the life of me I could not get the filling through the piping bag and into the cupcakes. My mother suggested I thin the icing with milk, which I flat-out rejected at first, because THIS is what the recipe said and so THIS must work. After some (much) struggle and a couple irreparably crumbled cupcakes, I finally conceded and let her thin the icing.

But it was still too thick to squeeze out of the piping bag. We thinned it again and again and every time we had to unceremoniously scoop it out of the bag and back into the mixing bowl and wash all the sticky off our hands (sensory nightmare, and a waste of good icing). But because I was able to move past the Mad from before, I had the extra room in my brain to cook up an idea: maybe instead of thinning the icing (and risking soggy-bottomed cupcakes), we should cut a bigger hole in the piping bag.

It worked! Overcoming that hurdle reignited my energy and I was able to finish the rest of the cupcakes myself. And look how beautifully they turned out!

If I wasn't able to put aside my pride and my marriage to the rulebook, then I never would have finished my mole cakes! To do this I had to revise my definition of "help" from "save me" to "give me a new perspective." (And the results were delicious.)

you know when you get Autism Mad. like something happens in a non-ideal way and in your brain you know it literally doesnt matter but in your other more autistic brain youre like screaming & scrying & shitting the bed etc. i think you should be able to go into settings and opt out of that. i have better things to get upset about than failing to put up a decoration on the optimal day or being too stubborn to solve a problem via simple communication

[snippit-crickit]

Hiya Snippit! I absolutely adore your artwork, its such an inspiration to me!! Your colours, textures, and sheer energy and mood that you put into each work is absolutely fantastic!

I do have a question on how you make your backgrounds, whether it's a scene, abstract, or just atmospheric. I always seem to struggle with them myself, and I was wondering what tends to be your thought process for making them? Keep up the amazing work!!

Hiii thank you so much : D!!! Hmm i think what id reccomend is doing small color keys for stuff and using references : ]

for example- heres some styleframes for a student film ill possibly be developing and im basing it off deep sea photos

same goes for these color keys with moustache guy!! i took some reference photos of the nyc subway and some other metros, thought about how i want the tint change from pretty neutral to a ominous green

I think once you have a good color key you can think about the render,, James gurney has a really good book on color theory if you wanna check it out! also i am guilty of using overlays often, i used to think of it as cheating but now i think this is an aid and its here for me to use it as for other tips i reccomend drawing a grid and putting it in perspective, if theres a floor in your frame

you can delete it afterwards but it will help your brain on how to place things You can take it a step further if youre drawing an interior and draw a simple 2d room plan with a grid, stretch it in perspective and "extrude" it

Overall i also did a lot of studies so that mustve helped as well, if youre sitting in a place with your sketchbook, do a study of it! Pen and paper, its fun because you can look back atthem in a few years and remember how your room looked like or where youve been... Also if youre bored by studies you can draw them and put your character in them to make them feel more personal : ] Good luck!

[jmdbjk]

Jungkook telling it like it is...

He did tell Spotify that he'd use the blanket they gave him. Just not the way they probably thought he would: Jungkook's glossy black marble floor shows his bare feet prints on it and he used his Spotify blanket to clean the floor. He says he'll have to always wear socks or slippers. I can see him leaving a pile of toe socks at the door just for him to put on when he's in that room...

He says he briefly and unseriously considered quitting the business to be a full time cook. (JK, you can't do that, you have to make enough money to pay for the utilities and property taxes on your new fortress...) But that's his introvert kicking in, the routine, the comfort zone, the way his job holds his interest enough to make him want to keep doing it. But he is aware and he knows this about himself and knows he has to return to his "spot" as he called it.

He seems to accept the fact his place of residence is going to be known by the fans just like many other aspects of his life such as details of his military service. He seems to take it in stride but he also sets boundaries by asking fans to not come to his house and do not send packages, not only to his house but to his army base. He explains why, that he cannot accept them and that packages containing food are restricted. He clearly instructs to send letters to the company.

How do people know where he lives? Here's the answer, or at least part of it:

We all know if you spend time on Youtube the algorithm will feed you videos and channels similar to what you've watched. If you are restrained enough to limit your viewing to only BangtanTV I applaud you. But if you watch anything else, youtube will serve you similar. We all know that through the anecdotes of Armys talking about being flooded with edited, slo-mo shipping videos.

Personally, I like watching youtube channels that show walking tours of Seoul. The city captured my attention and I've learned so much about it. But because of this interest I have in Seoul and Korea, more "walking tour" and Korean travel type channels are suggested to me. Some are better than others. Some are actually run by K-Army. I am very interested in K-Armys' perspective about life in Seoul so I watch. We get to see the birthday cafe events and such that I'm probably never going to experience.

Inevitably one of these channels is going to walk by the members' homes... because they are Army and can. Streets are public. And this is how other people find out where the members live. The videos show that none of the homes are accessible. They are all behind walls and gates. None of the videos show hoards of fans congregated in front of the homes. The only place you ever see that is in front of the Hybe building.

Yes, it is controversial knowing these things but it is also one of those things that is almost unavoidable. What do I do with the information I gain by watching? Nothing. I satisfy my curiosity and move on.

Jungkook knows we are curious. He knows with his position in life there are things he cannot control and he's aware of it. It's pointless for him to pretend he isn't aware of this. That's why he sets boundaries. And he's very kind about it when he does set boundaries.

Are there bad actors out there who will take advantage of the knowledge? Of course. But that's on them. Are there people who will post every detail they learn? Of course. That's how the information spreads to other social media platforms.

Anyway... the Weverse translations are sort of skimming over what he says. There's a little bit of nuance being left out sometimes.

The Weverse English subs say "We'd sing it every day while taking showers." But Jungkook more accurately said: "We always sing together while taking a shower." (begins at 1:00:00)

The Weverse English subs say "Recently, with Jimin, now during our clean up time I finished up in the kitchen and came back up we talked a lot about music and we'd always be humming (he hums) and I'd go far away and sing songs (he gestures away from him). I'll try to practice more when I have time." But more accurately he said: "So these days I'm with Jimin and now when its personal maintenance time I go upstairs after finishing kitchen work. We talk a lot about singing and we're humming along to each other all the time (he hums) like that and we go far away and sing and stuff (he gestures away from him). I'll practice more in my spare time." (begins at 36:48)

The Weverse English subs say "I've been doing well with Jimin in my military life. I've been well." More accurately he said: "I'm/we are working hard and doing well in military life together with Jiminie-hyung. I'm doing well." (at 8:18)

He showed us his entertainment room, he clearly states he can't show us the upstairs but he does not give a reason why but as he talks he explains he has not "organized" his house. Maybe he won't show it because he doesn't want to or maybe he won't show it because in his opinion, its a mess right now. Regardless, its his choice what he wants to show us and we are privileged when he does so. I'd bet that at some point, we'll see his kitchen because he's Jungkook.

He talked about his job as a cook in the Army. He said he prepares many Korean dishes and they are either boiled or braised. He mentions that they cannot grill food. He says its not easy making large amounts of food. He says he does his best to make them tasty. I've noticed on the timeline the accounts that post military menus that on most days, meals include stews and soups so he is definitely learning how to cook a wide variety of dishes.

He sang about 30 songs including several off Golden. He sounded really good singing Standing Next to You, in fact, his off the cuff live singing of all the songs from his album was pretty exquisite even if he didn't sing most of the songs to the end.

He spoke with a slight reverence regarding only singing BTS songs with the rest of the members. It gave me the impression he knows it will be a special moment for them as well as us.

He picked at his lip, bit his cuticles, touched his lips, scratched his head under his beanie and yawned many times before finally telling us good night. Until we see you again soon, Kookie! Be safe and keep practicing with Jimin!

[northopalshore]

💍 Briede persona chart:

Northopalshore's Briede Persona chart

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋.‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧ ₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

The Briede persona chart explains your natal Briede asteroid (19029) placements with more depth. If you are interested in women, it tells you about your wife ; usually their character going into & after marriage but still shows what their character is like in general. In a woman's chart, it tells them about themselves as a wife/after marriage. In this post specifically, I'll be analysing my own briede persona chart. Meant to be used as a guide and also my own theory based on observations. A prediction.

Briede Masterlist coming soon...

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

☆ Reminder: often times certain characteristics of your spouse/yourself will be seen through your perspective in the Briede (19029) & Groom (5129) persona chart. After all, it is still your chart.

Rising

Libra (°26 Taurus)

I'll appear very approachable and reasonable. Generally seeming very friendly and open minded. I will put a lot of effort into my appearance, making sure I look presentable at all times. Finding comfort in how I look. People will notice me for my calm and down to earth demeanor, as well as dressing in a way that complements my appearance.

Planets

Sun in the 7th house, Taurus (°19 Libra)

I'll be very focused on the marriage & relationship. Being somewhat of a peacemaker and the problem solver, decision maker, planned and adviser.

Mercury in the 7th house, Aries (°26 Taurus)

I'll be more stern when it comes to making decisions, often being the first to address any issue that may arise in the relationship. I'll accept compromises as long as they are fair and justifiable to both me and my partner. When it comes to communication, I will take the lead.

Mars in the 5th house, Pisces (°6 Virgo)

After marriage, I will shift a lot of my time and energy into creativity and artistic projects. It's still work, but I will be very passionate about it. Working on something I truly believe in wholeheartedly.

Moon in the 8th house, Gemini (°13 Aries)

I might be a little fussy and get overly attached to certain things after marriage. Being very obsessed with my own thoughts and worldview. I'll be somewhat clingy and protective over my spouse & family as well. Overthinking a lot about very random things. I will not be able to hide my thoughts, mood & emotional distress. I might grow to be very cautious or paranoid as well when put under pressure. But on a regular day, my thoughts function very well (i.e mercury in the 7th house).

Being a wife will add more complexity to the way that I naturally process my emotions. Having to think more and control my impulses.

Venus in the 8th house, Gemini (° 0)

My love life will be something that changes me deeply. It will open a lot of doors for me, test my creativity, & force me to try new things (Gemini). Teaching me to love wholeheartedly but at the same time be able to let loose & release control.

I've been reading into vedic astrology lately. And a lot of it really aligns to what I've been analysing in my western charts as well. I have Rahu in the 1st house & ketu in the 7th. Meaning that in order to feel complete in this life, I must focus on myself & my ambitions. To let go of control over matters relating to my spouse and relationships, accepting it as it comes (ketu in the 7th house).

The 7th house however, is a house of desire. It's natural to have a strong pull or curiosity concerning matters of the 3rd/7th/11th house. In my case, the more I try to manipulate or control the fire, the more severely I am burnt. The lesson here is to let go & love without the need to be obsessed.

Jupiter retrograde in the 12th house, Libra (°9 Sagittarius)

Years after the marriage, there is this sense of clarity that I may gain from being around my FS, our friends & family. Feeling this sense of contentment. Suddenly everything will make sense, and the dots are connected. This is something I'll likely keep to myself for the most part.

Saturn in the 9th house, Cancer (°22 Capricorn)

My studies could be hindered by my marriage life. Changing my initial plans to pursue some form of education or a different career path. This is something that may not go that well with my parents at first (they insist that I go through masters & PhD as well in the current path I'm taking). I may have to make a tough choice regarding this in the future.

Neptune in the 4th house, Aquarius (°17 Leo)

Neptune can symbolize one's greatest motivation or ideals in marriage but also how they may relax or unwind, lessons that I could learn after marriage. In my case, it seems that I'll be taught how to truly let my imagination run wild. Finally being given the opportunity to nurture the dorky animated version of myself. Also means living away from my parents or birth place.

Pluto retrograde in the 2nd house, Sagittarius (°24 Pisces)

Money. Money is... Well, I might feel rather guilty about money at first. Compared to my FS, I won't be able to support him the way that he does me financially i.e I won't be much help at first (I have Jupiter in Libra in the 2nd house in my Groom persona chart, this man does not need me for money lmao). This is something I might try to solve myself or hide from him so I don't become a burden, even if he does want to help it just doesn't feel right to be fully dependent on him financially. I'll still long for financial independence.

Uranus in the 5th house, Pisces (°10 Capricorn)

Shifting careers. Taking on a lot of new responsibilities, taking part in more important events, trying new things, gaining new interest. Making a career out of a passion project. Taking more creative liberty in my career.

Chiron retrograde in the 4th house, Aquarius (°3 Gemini)

I might be rather fearful of becoming a mother. Having doubts on whether or not I am fitting or ready to become one. Contemplating the changes that it will bring into my life. Knowing that when it does happen, nothing will be the same. There might be something related to a miscarriage as well, carrying guilt or a burden surrounding fertility or worthiness.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Asteroids

Starr (4150) in the 8th house, Taurus (°29 Leo)

Gaining sudden fame/recognition, hate, or unnecessary attention after marriage or as a wife. As I said it's likely that my identity will be intertwined with my love life and people may have .. their own strong opinion on that. It's likely that a certain reputation will stick with me as a wife, although I'm not really sure what that could be yet.

Briede (19029) in the 9th house, Gemini (°29 Leo)

In marriage, I will act as the guide. Perhaps my FS will often come to me for advice or just to vent his thoughts and things he may be passionate about. I might be a bit more extroverted around my spouse or after marriage, being more bold and taking the lead. A little dramatic, and animated.

Groom (5129) in the 6th house, Pisces (°25 Aries)

My FS will be very invested in his career as well. Perhaps branching out and doing things that align more with what he believes in, his true "expressions". He'll be very determined and hardworking. He may take somewhat of a backseat or supporting role for some reason, going with whatever plan that I come up with. Trusting the process. That being said, he's still anything but lazy. Still very eager to start something new.

North node in the 6th house, Aries (°22 Capricorn)

Another °22 ? Damn. Literally working with him will change my life. For better or for worst? We'll see. We may be working on something significant to both of us, something that we are both passionate about and believe in.

Juno (3) in the 6th house, Aries (°13 Aries)

In the in any persona chart (love centric) Juno & union tells you where you both come together to create or work on the most often in your relationship. Here, it means the same thing I've been saying before; working together as a team when it comes to work or daily life. Perhaps it would be odd to see us apart at work or when going somewhere. Even if we are apart, people will still bring up the other "Hey Gaia, where's your husband?".

Ex: My mom & dad both work best together as parents/at home, they always debate their decisions w each other. They're both homebodies lmao. My mom's Briede PC Juno is in the 4th house, my dad's is in the 8th house. Both are in Libra/Libra degrees.

Union (1585) in retrograde in the 12th house, Libra (°21 Sagittarius)

I may still keep certain doubts about our union or future to myself, letting go of control over the outcome of the relationship whether it will last the way I want, or go the way I expected. We will both be together somewhat behind the scenes. The inner workings of the relationship is something I may prefer to keep private.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹

Aspects

Grand Trine (Libra Jupiter 12th house, Gemini Moon 8th house, Aquarius Neptune 4th house)

There is this strong underlying feeling of both contentment and spiritual understanding. Being able to really sit back and feel the changes as well as the things in my life from multiple perspectives. This gives me the vibe of a "guru" in a way. My intuition, my thoughts and feelings are all in alignment. Overseeing things.

Sun conjunct Boda (1487)

My marriage is a key part of my identity. Literally. Having a lot of pride, being protective and being seen as a wife. When people think of me, they also think of my marriage. It's in the 7th house, which means to me, my marriage means the world to me.

Mercury conjunct North Node

There is going to be something significant with the way that I think or speak. Perhaps my mind will be very influenced by the thought of the future. Perhaps I will be taking, negotiating, advocating much more after marriage. It makes sense looking at my MC persona chart. Something similar to Brigitte Bardot. It's in the 6th/7th house, I will be prioritizing my work and connections. Speaking my mind. Starting something that is part of my life destiny.

Pluto trine North Node

Change is & will continue to be a common factor in my life. Since it's related to the 2nd (Pluto) & 6th House (NN) this change will further enhance my career. Finding ways to embed "change" into what I do, creating something new and impactful for my future.

Venus conjunct Starr (4150)

My love life may be very well known. People will recognize me for my charms and my interests. Both are in the 8th house , something about my love life is a big influence to those around me. Mostly concerning their opinion of me. The "shock" factor is what a lot of people will associate with my love life or relationships. There is this strange appeal or obsession around it.

Mars conjunct Uranus

I'll be more experimental after marriage, being more curious, trying new things, going to new places. I will likely be given a lot of room to do whatever it is that I want. Be it working on strange hobbies or projects that come to mind. I may do a lot of... Strange things artistically lmao. Maybe I'll finally perform a burlesque dance or start that indie game project I've been wanting to do. Whatever it is, I'll be doing a lot of new things. It's in the 5th house, both are in work centric degrees (Virgo & Capricorn) in Pisces. Something related to performance and art or the creative world.

Lilith opposite Chiron

Lilith in the 10th & Chiron in the 4th. I might feel like I am being held back by certain things going on in my home life in the future. Perhaps I may find it difficult to fully express myself or act independently without support or backup.

Groom square Pluto

There will be a lot of changes & challenges that my FS & I have to face. Being together will not be easy as factors like distance, misunderstandings, self-centeredness and outside factors can come clawing at us, but as far as I am concerned a relationship is not without its trials & tribulations. It happens to every relationship, how & when it manifests are the only dividing factors.

Saturn trine Groom, Groom trine Midheaven

My FS will be a driving force of long-term support for me. As rocky as things may get he'll still be a reliable support system.

Saturn conjunct Midheaven

Man. Work is literally the highlight of my marriage life. Through marriage, I am able to reach greater heights, success and career stability. Literally having the support to do the things that I aim for, reaching goals and a certain status in the long-run. Ketu in the 7th house & Saturn DK hits hard(vedic). "Your spouse is your greatest supporter".

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Thank you for reading ♡

@northopalshore

@northopalshore briede 2024 all rights reserved.

[f1ghtsoftly]

I’m working on season 3 of my podcast and the first few episodes will be centered around separatism which I have complicated feelings about but am happy to promote-at least as an alternative voice against the powerful cultural idea that women are only good in heterosexual partnerships/as sex objects or mothers.

That being said. I really have an issue with the idea of separatism being promoted as a strategy of safety for women. Yes statistically the biggest threat to women’s safety is men but limiting contact with men is not only impossible for most women financially but also undesirable and at odds with her own desire to live a free and full life. Women might want to excel in their career of choice, they might want to travel, they might want to live in a city or a town, they might want to find love with a man or have children. Even if a woman does everything to limit contact with a man, lives in the woods alone or with a female partner. Men can still find her and hurt her. There is a lot to criticize about heterosexual partnerships and how men hold women back/overburden them within them but from a perspective of safety from male violence any focus on the victim preventing violence and off the perp/taking the violence of the perp for granted is victim blaming.

I am a lesbian feminist, outside of my Dad, brother a few coworkers (I work with mostly women) and friends from childhood, I really don’t interact with men. I don’t live with them, date them or spend time with them socially. In part because I was very much harmed by men indoctrinated by homophobic lesbian pornography and in part because I just….find men a little boring. I was still raped in September and my social choices/lesbian separatist lifestyle did nothing to protect me. How could it? Because male violence has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the HIM. Because even though most men attack women in romantic relationships it has nothing to do with a woman choosing to be in that relationship. Perpetrators find any way they can to gain access to lone women in moments of vulnerability. Men are indoctrinated into women hating by rituals of masculinity, by religion, by pornography, through our mass media and music to hate women and to desire to enslave, torture and murder them. Our society is entirely numb to this.

Women are raped who interact with men in the workplace, women are raped by men being their neighbors or viewing them on the street, women are raped by bosses and fathers. Women are raped by their doctors and most of all women are raped by their husbands. All of these men do it because because they can. They are groomed into wanting to via masculine social rituals and female hate materials. They seek out ordinary women living their lives due to vulnerability, physical looks and opportunity. It has nothing to do with her. And therefore, she can’t change anything to stop it.

I don’t think women who strongly support separatism are intending to victim blame, but I do think the ideology that women should limit their socializing, forgo romantic connection, change career course to limit contact with males can easily become victim blaming. Is it a woman’s fault when she decides she doesn’t want to live without love? When she wants children?

When I disclosed my rape to some feminists, some remarked that they were glad to not live in an urban area where these things happen. But it was precisely because I was living in a city, where there were witnesses and people who put themselves between myself and my attacker, people who called the police when they saw me, that I did not end up in the East River. It is the friends I have made through living in a dense gay friendly city that have supported me through this. And it is the resources of a dense urban city that gave me access to medications and police resources to minimize the transmission of STI’s entirely free of charge. It’s not as simple as rural safe/city dangerous. It is not as simple as just not dating men or sleeping or getting sick or anything. No woman is safe unless we banish woman hating from our social landscape and work to make the world safe for all women, no matter what.

Indeed, the more women you befriend and connect you-the more you realize there is no lifestyle that protects you from male violence. One only has to look at the history of religious communities and witchcraft/lesbian persecution for confirmation. Independent women are as much of targets as wives. They are made examples of. Even Joan of Arc was raped to but her back in her place….her place being sexually submissive to a man 🙃 (patriarchy doesn’t allow women a path to freedom).

That is not anyone’s fault either for making an assumption that x kind of women are “at-risk”, the scale and reality of our mass vulnerability to male violence is truly too terrible to fully behold but we must as feminists resists this at every opportunity. The more women we connect to, individually and as a movement, the easier it is to internalize the idea no woman is at fault for her abuse or exploitation. It can feel easier to think that doing x, easy to think that living in the country or not dating men will protect you or choosing x or y will keep you safer, it’s human to want some control over male violence.

Men want to use our bodies, our labor and our resources as their own. They also punish women by reminding them of their place as objects for use. Under normative male control you are owned and exploited and you are own and exploited when you resist. The idea that certain behaviors might make this more or less likely…..is the bargaining of desperation and terror. The only end to this is an end to male supremacy. We will only end male supremacy when we stop asking what women could do so “this” doesn’t happen and start demanding dangerous men get out!!! Of Society.

[dontcallpanic]

I love these points SO, So much! I was sat here going yes, yes, exactly! Yes!

Poor Derek not knowing how to get a house or a safe space - that really got me actually and I was wondering if it was also linked to not wanting to have too many good things. So if he has a house or a space he likes, when he inevitably looses it (in his mind) that feels so much worse than somewhere he doesn't care about so much being destroyed. Imagine getting to the point where he restored the Hale House and then it got torn down again... Ffffddd

Also Fuji your point about him having to take out Peter to protect Scott makes so much sense! But also oh god imagine having to be in that position where you have to kill your last remaining family member (from his perspective) to protect this guy that keeps getting you arrested and blaming you for literally everything! I was also wondering about it becoming one of those goals you get fixated on. Like yeah if I can only just get through X or if I can just get more powerful, if I can get stronger, if I can get better, then I can fix it all, then the problem will go away, then I can protect everyone.

Oh also - did you know there are more F's to the trauma response list - some of which I think also fit Derek. They're Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fuck, Friend and Flop. It's to take into account how we often have to play nice, or fuck or play along with perpetrators just to survive. To account for the fact that behaviour can externally look like one thing but internally the motivations are /extremely/ different. And again we don't get a choice in what our brain will select. It's just whatever it decides is our best chance of survival. And again it's definitely not going to look well adjusted, because it's not exactly a well adjusted situation. It's already deeply fucked up.

Oh and Derek having to show that he's useful just to be allowed to exist always breaks my heart. You put this SO Well. Being useful I would guess feels safe to him. You can also see him doing the needing people/pack but being so terrified of loosing them or hurting them that he pushes them away first pattern that you would totally do if you had been through all that. And then throws his own body and life around like some kind of wrecking ball because neither things are of high value in his mind.

Also your line about pleading with Stiles and Scott to stay alive by saying how useful he is totally broke me. You're spot on with that and it's just tragic.

I'm genuinely staggered by the lack of empathy and understanding but I was also thinking about what Pdxtrent said about him being one of the best representations of trauma in media (and I totally agree) and in a really awful way it kind of makes sense that he wouldn't get a lot of empathy or sympathy because real life survivors get treated this way all the time too. His response feels so True to life, it garners a true to life response from many people. Especially because he doesn't play the victim (and I love that for him) most people/survivors dont - actually! Again, you can't always tell motivations just by watching someone's outward behaviour - although you can obviously get a good idea, but there's also a whole internal world driving that behaviour that you can't see. I feel that this is where Derek is at - and at least past of the reason why he's deeply misunderstood.

There's also something there about the extreme expectations placed on young adults but that might be for another time!

Derek Hale has PTSD. I think people tend to forget that he wasn't an ass for the hell of it. He put up a rough asshole front to protect himself. He has the ugly symptoms of PTSD. Does it excuse some of his actions? No. But he does deserve some understanding and empathy.

No matter what age you see him as, he just isn't a 'grown ass man'. He had no idea how to take care of himself. He was still mentally that 15 year old who lost everything and was traumatized beyond reason.

Derek continuously kept being kicked while he was down. The poor guy couldn't catch a break. Like have a heart y'all. He was never a villain. An antagonist at one point, yes. Villain, no.

Trauma literally rewires your brain, and that poor kid got enough trauma before the first episode. Derek needed lots of therapy, he needed friends, and he needed a pack.

Derek could literally trust no one. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. He tried his best with what he had, which wasn't much, and he fucked up at times. But he kept trying to do and be better.

[cute-little-fly]

Random thoughts about Octavia and Stolas after sinsmas

I trully hope Octavia doesn’t get any hate after this episode, and also, Stolas deserves to be happy beyond his daughter. This two things are true at the same time. I hope that more people understand this. We don’t need more division in this fandom.

Octavia thinks her father was the one who broke the family, that, even if it was in shambles the family could have been ok if Stolas was ok with them, if Stolas accepted them. She never realized Stella behaviour was not normal, and that Stella didn’t loved him at all since the beginning.

She thinks Stella resents him because of his cheating and that the family would be ok if he hadn’t done that with Blitzø, she thinks Stolas is guilty of breaking the family appart because Stolas sacrificing his emotional life was the only thing keeping the family together.

But she never saw it, and I think Stolas did well things by not putting that emotional load on Octavia’s shoulders… but she also needs to understand the complexity situation now that she is more grown up. Now she might feel guilty because Stolas was so unhappy…

She thinks Stolas suffered because of her, that he didn’t leave before because of her and that he endured suffering because of her, but what she doesn’t understand is that all of that was for LOVE and not for obligation.

Is natural that she is so hurt, and is also congruent to what has happened in earlier episodes. Where Stolas is always caught up about the divorce or Blitzø and leaves her behind. Is normal that makes her feel abandoned. Stolas never tried to talk bad things about Stella to Octavia, so, she doesn’t think that the cheating and Stolas suffering is mostly due to her mother. Now, Stella doesn’t care about talking shit about Stolas in front of Octavia, so is logical she puts the blame on him. That made me so angry, it is so unfair… This is something common for people that live under scapegoat abuse cycles.

“The family scapegoat is singled out and blamed for problems in the family. The burden of dysfunction of the group is placed on one member, regardless of the true causes of these issues. This person can be a child, step-child, troublesome uncle, or even a family friend. Being the family scapegoat can be a painful and isolating experience throughout a person’s lifetime.” Source: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/family-scapegoat/#:~:text=A%20family%20scapegoat%20is%20a,sibling%2C%20or%20another%20family%20member.&text=To%20put%20it%20simply%2C%20the,our%20own%20actions%20and%20mistakes.

Of course, from Via’s perspective this makes sense because she doesn’t understand a huge part of the situation and Stolas did fail her a lot of times and broke her trust. But I find interesting that Stella is not a good parent either, and she never wonders what role Stella had in Stolas unhappiness, or if there is something else behind everything.

Concluding remarks…

Octavia was just like Stolas in a lot of ways this episode. She confronted Andrealphus and looked Blitzø to give Stolas his pills, even if she is mad at him and thinks he doesn’t trully love her. The same way Stolas saved Blitzø even without knowing that our lizard loved him or cared about him at all or not. (Maybe this is a little bit off topic, but I found that poetic and shows deep down that they are the same).

Stolas has the possibility of recovering Octavia’s trust. He needs to build that trust again because he didn’t properly cared for it before, and now, Stella and Andrealphus took advantage of that. She would have heard Stolas if he did better things before, now he needs to make her feel he loves her. Not that she is just a responsibility, give her more.

Also, she needs to understand that Stella is the real source cause of most of the family issues, and Blitzø and how the cheating happened was just the culmination of all of it. That Stolas just couldn’t take it anymore; and just after experiencing a little bit of what he had been missing he got completely out of himself. Of course, Stolas could have done this better, but, he was very young when he married, and he didn’t had a proper social development.

I feel that a lot of people miss this, I don’t know if it is because Stolas is a dad. Even if Stolas at least had his stars, books and plants, he was emotionally neglected and lonely his entire life and that will always damage a person. Stolas needs someone to lean his shoulder on, to talk about problems and share emotions… that is a human need and Octavia as his daughter can’t do that for him, because he is the parent. He needed someone else in his life to do that and Stella failed in that.

We can understand both of them. Is tragic, but we know they will be ok :)

Sorry for the long rambling.

[quoth-the-raven-wtf]

I've blocked a lot of endos [I'm clustering tulpas in the same "origin category," btw], and I hope that they'll respectfully do the same in return when I post things like this. I will never be the first to interact with them, and more often than not I delete their comments from my posts and block them in order to keep myself from interacting in a pointless argument altogether.

That being said, I still want to put my thoughts out there.

Heads up, this is a long one. The rest is below the cut. Per usual, summarized points are highlighted in red for faster viewing.

I know for a fact that a majority of endos aren't claiming to have a CDD [complex dissociative disorder], which tends to be the main argument endos like to use in order to explain that they aren't invading OSDDID spaces or harming communities built for those who are disordered. That doesn't make their claims of being "plural" any less harmful to the CDD community. They are still claiming to have symptoms of dissociative disorders, which waters down the severity of the actual disorders themselves.

Being a system means having a fragmented identity [which is what alters are]. A fragmented identity is a disordered identity. A disordered identity is a disordered brain. Having parts is not typical, and endos claiming that it is possible to have alters without a disorder creates this misconception that plurality is completely normal to experience.

[Don't get me wrong, I'm also irritated by the perspective that everyone with OSDDID is constantly suffering and cannot experience any joy, or even enjoy being a system—because that view is just as uneducated as the endo one.]

Here's the thing—watering down the disorder isn't actually one that matters much to those outside of people who interact with the system sections of social media, because I guarantee you that most people don't even know what "endogenic" means. The issue with watering down symptoms of disorders that result in alters are how they harm actual systems. I've seen multiple systems on this app and even a few others on social media who claim to be endogenic, but talk about having other symptoms of CDDs and having childhood trauma that they don't consider severe enough to be "traumagenic." Seeing things like that is honestly heartbreaking. There are so many systems out there who are completely convinced that they simply can't have originated from trauma because "they weren't hurt badly enough."

It's bizarre to me that this is what the internet has come to.

Here's the thing; if there was actual evidence of endos and tulpas being fully, scientifically capable of existing, I wouldn't be so strongly against their claims. Hell, I've done research in my spare time to actually look for the supposed proof that endos say there is on the ability to be plural without a disorder, and I've reached countless dead ends. Masterlists of "endo-affirming resources" are either incredibly vague, non-credible, or take me straight to an error message [as in, the page has since been taken down]. Aside from those resources, the strongest argument I've seen is that "there's no proof that endos don't exist," which doesn't make any sense either. You could say that about anything you want to, despite currently existing evidence that already suggests your claim is nonsensical.

I am genuinely open to information that is credible, but so far, it just doesn't seem to exist. Anyone is welcome to share some with me, and I will truly approach them with an open mind; that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out lack of credibility when I see it.

In no way do I feel malice or hatred for systems who identify as endogenic, but I'm afraid that directly interacting with endos through areas of syscourse will, and has clearly already created bitterness. I refrain because of how hostile syscourse has gotten, and I encourage others who share my point of view to also keep the hostility to a minimum. I think everyone needs to be more open-minded—both endos and antis like myself. Unfortunately, that's only achievable in a perfect world.

[eyebulb]

Hello! I have thoughts about Octavia! I know there will be hate for her.. but pls have mercy. This show is actually good at explaining people's actions.. so I'll try to walk you through her perspective the best I can. Picture if you will.. This child, who's father seems to be the most present if not the only present parent in this household. She relies a lot on him and is very close to him. The way Stella and Octavia acted this episode makes me feel like Stella isn't a fully active parent. She's there ofc and she takes care of Via but it seems like she's very shallow in her care for her. Not really learning anything about her or listening much to her as a person at all. Stella is not actively cruel to Via.. but she's not really putting in much effort. Meaning that most of Via's happy memories and parental feelings are towards her father. Who chose to take an active roll in raising her despite it not seeming to be the norm among royals. Said father wanted to protect her from the reality of their life. He made sure she wouldn't feel unloved, that she wouldn't get to see the ugly parts of their marriage and how she came to be. He also never let her know his struggles. This was all in good faith.. but made the inevitable blow that much harder for Via to process. Cus.. In the eyes of Via (because of Stolas shielding her) they used to have a happy family. Stolas and Stella used to be in love, enough to have her. Stolas then selfishly went after another dude.. cheated.. started ignoring her and landed himself in such deep shit that she could no longer reach him. All for some random imp who came in and ruined everything. Stolas cheating ruined the image of their happy family. It brought forth Stella's wrath and messed it all up. In defense of Stolas.. he is right to chase his own happiness and wanting to be happy.. but he did it in a very messy way. And it messed a lot of things up. Now she's finding out all the ugly truths about her upbringing but in the middle of chaos.. and not in a calm setting where they can sit down and talk it out. She's already upset.. She loves her father and now she's alone with her mother because of a decision he made.. after he said that this situation wouldn't ever happen. On top of that she's finding out that he needed pills to keep going.. that he was miserable all along. The circumstances in which she finds this out plays a part in her ability to handle it. I have no doubt Via will eventually reach an understanding with Stolas. But I fully understand that she is not yet ready for it. She's trying to deal with losing her safe spot. Let her deal.

[mars-ipan]

interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that… i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!

[o-sunny-day]

Please Reset Your Save File :)

idk what came over me but here take this forgettable au wingdings undertale ARG ass image

speaking of being a mystery image with secrets to be unlocked, i’m gonna refrain from yapping. do the sleuthing yourself I believe in you

ok…. fine….I cant resist…. BUT DO THE TRANSLATING YOURSELF IM NOT DOING EVERYTHING FOR YOU

Ill start by explaining my proccess cause it was quite eventful!

The jumping off a cliff towards something was inspired off of this tiktok :D

Thought it worked GREAT for a character who was so dead-set on his goal he destroyed himself in the process of achieving it… And thats all I had in mind, Wingdings reaching twords his goal (a star/the player) and the rest I just went along with as I drew

I didn’t intend on the background being black, was just a placeholder, so once I finished the line art I fiddled with the color. thought some sort of “blue screen of death” would go well with the themes of what happens to him since he is IN a game. so the universe literally restarts (resets :3) itself to get rid of a glitch (him)

My theory currently is that his goal was to become some sort of player/gain the ability to reset, and once he did that, the game saw him as an error/glitch, so got rid of that- bro IS Turbo from wreck it ralph

After that whole idea- I was looking at some references to replicate the text and it made me go “OOOHOOO” when I saw the QR code like “oooo I could make my own and have some fun with that…” and so I did- and decided to link my original idea for that!

Reference:

I had fun making some differences in the wording to fit the situation

In the end, 2 silly illustrations that are fun to flicker between!

talking about the actual drawing though:

The cliff Dings is running off of has echo flowers because I SWEAR those are important. trust.

Him not wearing gloves is meant to depict how little he cares for his own safety in his last days. I did the same thing in my IM SANE amv!

The “star” having an eye is meant to show how its both the player, and seeing the stars/surface that Wingdings is reaching for.

The wingdings font covering Dings’ face/eye socket is meant to symbolize that perhaps he feels defined by his inability to communicate like other people naturally can.

“Ths Stars, They Cry Out Your Name” is my favorite thing in this… from Wingdings’ perspective, the only thing that matters, that understands him, that TRULY values him…is THE STARS. its like this goal that he has that will make him feel valued. Getting to the surface = being “worth it” But truly, the stars are the PEOPLE that care about him. Asgore, Alphys, Sans, people that are genuinely concerned over his obviously deteriorating mental health- they CRY out his name, not “call” like I had originally planned.

“66%” hehehehhe funy gaster numbr

ok and last thing- Im gonna cry remembering this dialogue from the official Clock App

its so important for this AU, PLEASE

[jinxed-sinner]

Look I know Lucifer isn't the best dad ever but I feel like people who say he's a bad dad are purposely ignoring the context of the show. It is very much implied that he thought Charlie wanted nothing to do with him, and Charlie thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Lucifer’s still dealing with trauma from Heaven and his fall and probably will for the rest of time plus he's dealing with what would probably qualify as clinical depression, and simultaneously dealing with trauma, clinical depression, and autistic traits (which Lucifer absolutely has; I do not say, as an autistic person, that Lucifer is a massive autistic mood for no reason) is a fucking NIGHTMARE.

I'm not saying Lucifer shouldn't take responsibility. He should. But he's already doing better than my dad frankly. Lucifer hits me in the daddy issues, I wish my dad made an effort to be more active in my life. Lucifer is fucking trying, and that's better than a lot of people can say about their dads.

[ebonytails]

Hey everyone! this is where the zebra is currently with the design.

It has knee braces!! I will most probably be drawing the zebra usually with them on, but it’s no requirement, for example if anyone else wants to draw the zebra :-]. I always like to make sure an animal design has official colors underneath any clothing and accessory anyway. I think this will be final! thank you everyone for your feedback!

As a reminder, aside from why the zebra was requested for this flag, this is also just a zebra with the disability pride flag on it. It’s just a deisgn to fit the flag, with input from other disabled people in our community. It doesn’t mean other animals can’t have designs with these colors, too! I don’t mean this design to be the only mascot for all disabled people. It’s just a silly series i do of pride animals, and at the time, during disability pride month, I wanted to see what everyone wanted me to start off with for this flag!

the goal with my pride animals is to take requests and make people feel happy and seen.. that’s all <:-)

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet

Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)

Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked

[saintaviator]

hey, bye.

[celtrist]

Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet