#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery

[danielnelsen]

things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs

like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something

[gaamagirl565]

Matters of the heart Season 3 Episode 3 A heart of thirst WARNING: this episode of matters of the heart contains heavy subject matters 

Matters of the heart Season 3 Episode 3 A heart of thirst WARNING: this episode of matters of the heart contains heavy subject matters {OPENING CREDITS} {Open to Corona castles throne room; Larkspur sits sideways on one of the thrones sipping from a golden goblet despondently} Vergus: Mistress? Why do you look so blue? we have everything we could ever want. Corona is ours. Larkspur:  not everything... those morons continue to fight us... and noremoth…. {Her grip tightens on her cup before she throws it across the room} Larkspur: I WANT HIM FOUND!.... Vergus: O-Of course mistress! Larkspur:  he betrayed us all...He betrayed me! {Vergus walks up to her throne; he takes off he cape and drapes it across her} Vergus:  of course he did mistress. did you expect anything less of the man? Larkspur:  to be honest I don't know what I expected of him…. more than this! Vergus:  for all we know mistress he could be dead.  our sweet vessel took care of him quite nicely the last time we saw him. Larkspur:  that is true... wherever he is I hope he's burning. what traitors deserve... what everyone deserves.  those privileged, underhanded… Vergus:  mistress if I may… {he hands her a small vial} Larkspur:  what is that? Vergus: a sleeping aid. you've been awake for more than 2 days. you must be exhausted.  for the sake of-!? {Larkspur snatches it from his hands and chugs the small vial} Vergus:....Right then….um... do call me if you need anything… Larkspur:  I'll be fine…. Go. {Vergus bows and leaves; Larkspur turns over in the chair tiredly and closes her eyes; fade to Vardaros where rain pours from the sky; a younger Larkspur dressed in rags watches with a cold glare as a coffin is being carried through the streets with a large crowd of people; a young woman steps on the stage in town square} Vex: Ladies and Gentlemen...We have….sorry...We have lost someone dear to all of us. Larkspur: pfftt… “dear”... Vex: Captain Quiad was an honourable and just man. He fought for what was right and whenever we needed him he was always right there.  whenever he thought he was out of the game he always searched for a reason to get back in. He cared for all of us. no matter who you are or who you were….He was a brave Sheriff who fought for every man, woman, and child... and it is with a heavy heart that we today say goodbye. {Thunder rumbles causing Larkspur to jump and go back into the alley} Larkspur: Fought for everyone...puh!  he was nothing but a tired old man running around with a sword.  if he truly did anything for our town then why am I still hungry!? Why are my brothers and sisters dead!? Why did I watch my family starve!? {She kicks a can but yells in pain} Larkspur: I hate Vardaros… I hate them all... {fade out to Larkspur asleep in the throne mumbling; Cut to the medical tent at camp; Noremoth breathes shakily as Hector looks over the wounds with the physician} Hector: Straight through… Physician:  yes unfortunately the blade went straight through him. it caused some serious internal injuries that I was able to repair mostly through surgery but I fear that infection is going to take him. Hector:  judging from the wound shape i’m going to say it was a straight single edged sword. Physician: I've done what I can to the wound as for the infection… Hector:  not much you can do for that... he's got to fight his own battle now. {Varian walks in with Eugene} Varian: how is he? Hector:  let's just say he's had better days. and if he doesn't fight off this infection he won't have any more days. Eugene:  we don't have much medicine left... kids we are able to learn some valuable information about whatever gas the cult used... it can be lethal  but we don't have an antidote. Varian:  I could synthesize one if I had my lab but it's too dangerous to sneak back into town. Hector: welp... better practice Your Grave digging boys… {Hector walks out of the tent} Eugene:  you know I was kind of hoping that after all these years he would have lightened up a little bit but clearly not… Varian: Isaiah...I know you're there you can come out now. {Isaiah walks in with Benny} Varian: theres my girl! {Benny runs over and is lifted up} Varian: what going on with you two? Sneaking around? Isaiah:  are the sick and injured really doing that bad? Varian:....ummm Isaiah:  dad come on… I need to know. {Varian sighs and puts benny down} Varian:  yeah... they're not doing good. Eugene: people are going to want to know what's going on... we might as well be honest.  we're running out of Medicine.  Hector and his family have been quite the help foraging for ingredients for remedies but that's not going to hold these people off.  if we can't find a way to cure them we're going to lose a lot of people. Isaiah: *gasps*...but...Nathaniel...he.. Varian: I'm sorry buddy but it's not looking good for him. {Isaiah runs out of the tent and Eugene places a hand on Varians shoulder; Cut back to Larkspur groaning in her sleep; Fade into her dream; Younger larkspur sits outside a shop begging for coins} Larkspur:...please...coins? I just want some bread… {A child stops by her and reaches out before being pulled away by his mother} Mother: Don’t speak to beggars! They probably have the plague! {Larkspur growls in anger before shivering} Larkspur: Pathetic whelps...what makes me less than you?....one day you’ll be the ones begging… Unknown woman: Oh is that so? {Larkspur jumps surprised and looks up at a young woman with golden curly hair} Larkspur: ...and you are? Unknown woman: You cut right down to business don't you? Larkspur:  I don't like speaking unless I know whom I'm speaking to. Unknown woman: Fair enough...I’m Chiara, and you? Larkspur:....Larkspur… Chiara: like the flower? Thats so pretty! {She sits next to her} Larkspur:....You're not from here are you? Chiara:  is it that easy to tell?  I just moved here!  I heard there was a huge demand for bakeries!  I want to set up my own shop here. Larkspur:  well lesson number one little miss Chi-chi... I'm a beggar you're supposed to avoid me and pretend I don't exist…. Chiara:...that doesn't sound right.  if you're so down on your luck shouldn't we be working together to help you? {Larkspur laughs} Larkspur:  oh you're really not from here. Chiara:...hmmm...oh! Here! Have some!  it's going to be my bakery’s special! {She hands her a muffin; Larkspur looks at her suspiciously before rolling her eyes and taking it; she takes a bite and her eyes practically glow with amazment} Larkspur: it...IT’S AMA- {She looks at Chiara’s beaming face} Larkspur: it’s good… Chiara: Oh!  I'm so glad you like it! I'm good at baking all sorts of treats but muffins are my specialty.  this one is specifically an apple cinnamon one! {She leans in real close to whisper} Chiara: they're my favorite too! Larkspur: *snerk* Chiara:  oh dear I'm supposed to meet the movers at my new shop!  it was lovely meeting you Larkspur!  I'll see you soon! Larkspur:...yeah...um...thanks...bye. {She sits back against the wall and takes a bite of the muffin before slightly smiling; Fade out on Larkspur smiling asleep; fade back into her dream; Chiara sneaks into a back alley} Chiara: Larkspur? You here? {Larkspur jumps down from a roof onto a wooden crate making Chiara jump} Chiara: OH! Haha! You startled me! Larkspur: How's business? Chiara:  it's been doing great in the past months! I brought cake by the way! Larkspur:  you know I don't have much of a sweet tooth. Chiara:  I know but who doesn't like cake!? {Larkspur smirks and sits next to her; Chiara takes out the cake to show it has larkspur and rose flowers on it} Chiara: Ta-daa! Larkspur: huh? Last time I checked flowers didn't exactly taste very good. Chiara:  no silly!  they’re just decoration! Your name is Larkspur so that was an obvious choice but roses are my favorite!  this is to celebrate several months of friendship! Larkspur:.... Chiara:  you don't like it?  chocolate not your thing? don't tell me you're allergic! Oh i’m sorry! Larkspur: N-no! it's not that at all... I'm just confused. Chiara:  confused? Why? Larkspur:  I'm a beggar..people avoid me...it’s always been that way...people despise me. {Chiara sets the cake down} Chiara: tell me about it? Larkspur:.... my parents died when I was young. plague. I didn't have any next of kin so I was sent here to a poor house.  I don't know what you are living situation was but when you're all alone in the world you have to find allies.  a group of children in that poor house... they were my family… Chiara:....were? Larkspur:...Vardaros was taken over at one point by powerful man. the baron.  he’d pay you good if you worked for him. So my siblings and I decided to work for him. Of course I never got to meet him personally mind you he always had his little big-nosed henchmen do everything for him. that included paying us. I'm not going to sugarcoat it the stuff I did for him... it was bad. not stuff for the faint of heart. you do what you can to survive. Chiara:  what happened? Larkspur:  some people from Corona came and overthrew him… once he was gone that spineless little weasel decided he didn't need us.  he tried to take over the town. he lasted maybe a few days before those people from Corona overthrew him as well.they had Quiad return in “glory”... as if he hadn't been gone for over a decade already.   with our steady pay gone we had to look for other means of survival. nobody wants to hire beggar children…. they all started getting sick… Chiara: larkspur… Larkspur:   there was nothing I could do... I stole whatever I could to try and feed them... but no matter how much I stole it was never enough.  and none of those self-righteous people would ever help.  I watched them all slowly starve to death. they were so much younger than me.  sometimes I would think of them as my children. {larkspur gasps as she feels Chiara wrap her arms around her} Chiara:  I'm so sorry…. I can't imagine that pain. Larkspur: To this day I still don't understand why nobody would help... they think they’re so much better than us... I swore on the day that I saw the last of them starve that I would make everybody in this town feel the same pain and Desperation that I felt. that one day everybody around me would be the ones begging while I walked over them. Chiara:... and would that make you feel better? Larkspur: of course it would! they need to suffer as I have suffered! this whole the innocent and meek shall inherit the earth is garbage!  I didn't do anything to anybody and I suffer day in and day out!  yet these people treat me like I'm garbage and they have a full belly every night! Chiara:  Larkspur... would you say that you felt happy when you were with all those children? Larkspur:... they were my family... course I felt happy with them. Chiara:  and now that you're alone you feel miserable and angry. Larkspur: what is your point? Chiara:  you don't want Vengeance you want love. you miss them. you miss having someone care for you the way that they cared for you.  losing them broke you.  but just because you're broken doesn't mean you can't be put back together. {Larkspur leans into her and Chiara strokes her hair} Chiara: You know I think I have an idea! Larkspur: hmm? Chiara:  there's a spare room in my house. I've mostly been using it for storage but I don't have many things of my own so it's pretty much just an empty room.  but it's warm!  downstairs is the bakery and I could use the help! Larkspur: Are you giving me a job? Chiara: Of course!  you'll get paid and free room and board! Larkspur: why?... Chiara: when something's broken it's easier to have help to put it back together. {Larkspur smiles and hugs her; cut to a few months later as Larkspur enters the shop wearing a simple dress and apron} Chiara: Hi! Welcome home! Larkspur: I just put the horse back and there's new bags of flour in the storage room. Chiara: you’re the best!  thanks for doing that pick up. Larkspur:  it's my job. Chiara:  I know but it's still nice that you do it. {The door jingles as costumers enter} Chiara:  can you handle this one? I'm about to take a fresh batch of sourdough out. Larkspur: don't lie to me you were experimenting with the cakes again weren't you? Chiara:  I will perfect a cake with the best strawberry cream filling! you will see yet! {Larkspur gently shoves her into the back} Larkspur:  just make sure you are trying to use gunpowder to cook faster I don't want another explosion like last time….How can I help you sir? Villager: one sourdo-....... Larkspur:.... Sir? Villager:  you were that beggar… Larkspur:... yes I was a beggar.  but I don't appreciate people prying into my personal life so I'll ask you again, how can I help you sir? Villager:  please tell me you wash your hands before touching the dough! Larkspur:  excuse me? Villager: you were a beggar! you were exposed to all sorts of illnesses weren't you!?  and now you're working in a bread shop!? Disgusting! {Chiara walks in} Chiara:  is there a problem out here? Villager:  you hired a beggar!?  you know how disease-ridden these people are!? Chiara:  sir, that's not very polite. Villager:  who cares about being polite when you could infect the entire town! Chiara: I care about being polite!  now sir if you don't mind I respectfully ask that you leave my establishment and seek business elsewhere. Villager: Oh i’ll leave!  but I'm warning you it isn't good business to hire a beggar! They’re filthy! They have lice! Chiara: Leave now! {Chiara pushes the man from the shop and closes the door} Chiara:  are you okay? Larkspur:  it's nothing that I'm not used to.... in this town once a beggar always a beggar. plus I'm sure some of the people who come in here recognize me from my old work. Chiara:  don't think like that!  sure that guy was a jerk but that doesn't mean all people are bad! once more people start coming in and tasting the delicious bread that we bake they'll forget all about the past!  Promise! {Larkspur furrows her brow for a moment before sighing and nodding} Larkspur:  you have so much faith in people… Chiara:  no I have faith in good food! {She sticks a bun in Larkspurs mouth and she laughs; cut to Isaiah giving water to the sick as Varian watches and sighs} Varian: I have to do something… Eugene:  Varian there's nothing you can do you said it yourself it's too dangerous to sneak back into town. Varian: But there has to be something we can do they're all getting worse! Lance:Well maybe if worse comes to worst we can go to a nearby Kingdom and get some supplies. of course then we'd risk leaving everybody defenseless and possibly leading some people back to the camp… Varian:  you're both just rays of sunshine today aren't you? Rapunzel:  haven't seen this many injured or sick since the Great Fire of Vardaros… Varian: the what? Eugene:  oh right, Varian wasn't here for that, sunshine… Rapunzel:  oh that's right he was on his little Adventure! Varian: AY! Scientific Expedition! Rapunzel: riggghhtt… Lance:  it was this great big fire that spread all over Vardaros… Eugene: yeah apparently it spread in the middle of the night. Vex wrote to us asking for help.  when we got there the entire place have been ravaged by the fire. Rapunzel:  I had Corona help with whatever rebuilding that needed to be done.  unfortunately turns out a lot of people didn’t survive that fire. just find it weird how it started in the middle of the night and nobody seems to know how. Eugene:  a lot of people died sunshine maybe they just didn't want to talk about it. {Varian gets up and starts walking away} Rapunzel: Varian?  where are you going? Varian:  I have to do something to help! Coronavirus faced many bad things throughout history but it's not going to end with us. I'll be sure of that. {He walks off; cut to Larkspur shivering in the throne with her lip quivering; fade into her dream; Larkspur is driving her wagon full of flour, yeast, and sugar home; at first she is calm then she sees an orange glow getting bigger} Larkspur: What on earth? {The bakery is on fire with a crowd of people around it; Larkspur gasps in horror and signals the horse to gallop; once she gets close enough she sees Vex yelling at the small crowd as the bakery is engulfed} Larkspur: …..What...h-happened…? {She hops off the wagon and stumbles over to the burning building; Vex runs over and pulls her back} Larkspur: W-Wait! Chiara! WHERE’S CHIARA!? Vex: Who? Larkspur: The baker! My friend! Vex: ...the bake-.... {Vex sadly looks over at the covered person on the ground; Larkspurs eyes dilate; for a moment all that is heard is Larkspurs heartbeat} Larkspur: AHHHHH!!!! {She runs over and pulls the sheet off her friend to reveal Chiara’s soot covered face} Larkspur: Chiara! Chiara please wake up! Don’t leave me alone again! {Larkspur holds her and sobs} Vex: I..I’m so sorry… Larkspur: WHO DID THIS!? Which one of you monsters did this!? Villager: I did… Larkspur: ….y-you!? Villager: someone in town who frequented you shop caught the plague… Larkspur: SO!? You can catch that anywhere! We were both clean! Villager: as I was just explaining to our lovely Sheriff here we were doing our civic duty and burning the infected business Vex: And as I was telling YOU- you can’t just burn down a building! You didn’t even have evidence they got sick here! And you set it a blaze with someone inside! That’s murder! Larkspur: you...you set fire to the shop and let her die!? {A small explosion rings out; everyone turns to the flames} Larkspur: th-the gun powder… Vex: Gun po-EVERYONE DOWN! {A large explosion erupts from the shop blowing people away and blasting out the display window; Larkspur groggily sits up before looking around and crawling back over to Chiara and holding her close} Larkspur: Chiara… Villager: Help! {Larkspur turns to see the villager pinned under some debrisas the fire spreads to other buildings} Villager: Please help me! The smoke is becoming too thick! {He coughs and sputters as larkspur lifts Chiara} Villager: Please i’ll do...anything..please help… Larkspur:...Shut up you filthy beggar… {She turns an begins walkin out of Vardaros carrying Chiara as the fire spreads further; fade to a hillside over looking Vardaros; Larkspur lays down some roses on a makeshift grave; she looks over at the smouldering town} Larkspur: Never again...I Swear Chiara...I'm never going to let this world bring me down again...I'll show them all... I'll show them what happens when you kick people around. Eventually we're able to kick back.  that's what I'm going to do. If I'm not allowed to have love... I'll have fear... I'll be the one on top... people will follow me. I'll make them pay for what they did to us. all of them. {Cut to Larkspur jerking awake with a gasp} Vergus: Mistress? Are you alright? Larkspur:...y-yeah...yes..I’m fine.. how long have I been asleep? Vergus:  almost the entire day.  you needed the rest. Larkspur: Vergus?... can you cook? Vergus:  mistress? ummm... yes I can cook fairly well why? Larkspur:...  could you please cook some apple cinnamon muffins? {Vergus cocks an eyebrow} Vergus: I..uhh..Y-yes... of course mistress I'll get right on it… {larkspur stares off at the sunset coldly; cut to camp as Isaiah is carrying in a stack of logs; he trips} Isaiah: YAGH! Bjørn: Whoa little man! {Juniper catches Isaiah and Bjørn catches the logs} Bjørn: Don't over exceed your own weight. Isaiah:  I could say the same to you whenever the Soup pot is done Juniper: PFFTT!! Bjørn: why you little- Hector: Bjørn! Juniper! Bjørn: Coming father! This isn’t over. {Isaiah yawns and stretches as he walks over to his families tent; he stops once inside an smiles; Varian snores on his bed  surrounded by various books about healing. Herbology, and alchemy; Isaiah throws a blanket on him and blows out the candle} {END CREDITS}

[bby-namjoon]

Mafia AU: BTS - NamjoonxReader

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3} {Part 4} {Part 5} {Part 6}

——————————

He’d been unconscious for 8 days.

The doctors said the bullet wounds had given him traumatic pneumothorax, which basically meant his injuries were so bad that his lung collapsed and his blood pressure dropped far too low, causing him to go into cardiac arrest.

He almost died.

The doctors worked hard trying to save him by installing tubes into his lungs and by pumping his body with blood and vitamins out of the hope it would fix him. They even had a respirator helping him to breathe.

They managed to keep him alive but he just wouldn’t wake up.

That was until day 8.

On day 8 you were sat at his bedside, telling him about the arrangements you’d been making for your fathers funeral. “I feel like he doesn’t even deserve one after what he put me through, what he put us through, but I’ve gotta do it you know? It’s just gonna be us attending, I’m not giving him a big send off, the media doesn’t know yet, I can’t deal with all of that yet.”

You sighed, pressing your lips to the back of Namjoons hand. You just wished he would wake up, you wanted to feel him hold your hand back and to see the pretty smile that always adorned his face when he was around you. You loved this man and you would do anything for him to just come back.

You felt tears well up in your eyes and you wiped them away, not wanting to cry again. You were fed up of feeling sad, you just wanted to be happy. Why was that so hard?

It was then that Jin walked in, a small smile on his face as he saw you. “I thought you’d be here, I brought you some food. You haven’t really left have you?”

You shook your head, “no, I just don’t wanna leave him. I go home when they kick everyone out and I’m back again as soon as they’re letting people in.” You sighed before taking your box of food from Jin. “Thank you,” you gave him a small smile as he sat down on the opposite side of the bed.

“It’s okay, are you holding up alright? Has anybody else been today?”

“Yeah, I’m okay I guess, Jungkook came this morning and Jimin and Yoongi came this afternoon. I got a call from Tae aswell because he wasn’t able to get here because of work but he just wanted to know if there had been any changes. Of course, there hasn’t been.” You frowned, gesturing to the unconscious boy laying between you both.

Jin looked down at his lap with a sigh, “he’ll wake up soon, I’m sure of it.”

“I hope so,”

You picked at your food and made conversation with Jin as he updated you on everything happening within Namjoons company. Business couldn’t just stop because he was in hospital, so the rest of the boys had been doing his job for him, aswell and their own.

“We’re unsure of whether or not we should go after that guy the sniper worked for, because I know Namjoon would wanna get back at him for everything he’s done, but I think we should just leave it, atleast for now.”

“Leave it, don’t go after him. I know Namjoon would be saying the opposite but honestly, look what’s happened because of that guy. I was fucking kidnapped, my dad is dead, and Namjoon is in a coma. I’m not gonna let anything else happen to anybody.”

Jin nodded, “that’s the answer to that then,”

You sighed, putting your food down on the table beside you, letting the sound of the small TV on the wall fill the room. You were about to speak up when you felt movement against your palm.

You gasped, looking down, making Jin turn his attention to you. “What?”

“I felt his hand move,”

“What, really?”

“Mhmm,”

Your eyes scanned Namjoons form, praying for him to move again, and just when you were about to give up, thinking you imagined it through wishful thinking, his hand twitched again, and before you knew it he was holding your hand back.

“Oh my god, Jin, look, look,” you exclaimed, pointing to your hands and Jin got up,

“Should I go and get a nurse?”

“I don’t know, do we wait for him to open his eyes first?” You both stared at Namjoons face, “c’mon, Namjoon, just open your eyes, you can do it,” praying that he’ll finally look back at you.

The moments passing by felt like they moved in slow motion, but when you finally saw his eyebrows furrow and his eyes slowly start to open, Jin couldn’t run out of the room fast enough to find a nurse.

“Oh my god, Namjoon, you’re awake,” you breathed in disbelief. You could see how dazed he was as it took him a moment to follow your voice but when he set his gaze on you it’s like he couldn’t believe it. His eyes widened and he tried to pull his breathing mask off but you stopped him. “It’s okay, just wait for the nurse, she’s coming, I can hear her talking to Jin.”

He relaxed as the nurse entered the room, a big smile on her face as she started to speak to him. You and Jin waited by the door as she ran some tests, checking his vitals.

You and Jin couldn’t believe it, you just gave eachother a hug as you welled up, but this time out of happiness.

When the nurse was done she was very pleased. “I’m happy to say that you’ve done extremely well in terms of recovery, Mr Kim. Your vitals are looking great. The 8 days of sleep must’ve done you some good, but you will still be drowsy for the next day or two, that’s completely normal.” She smiled and Namjoon raised his eyebrows in shock.

“8 days?” He croaked out and the nurse nodded.

“You arrived at the hospital on the 22nd, it’s now the 30th. We performed surgery on you when you got here so you will still be very sore when you’re moving around or taking in large amounts of breath, but you’ve been recovering very well, so I think you’ll be out of here within the next week.”

“Really?” You spoke up and the nurse nodded,

“I’m sure you’ll be very pleased about that, you’ve practically been living here.”

You let out a small laugh and she smiled, “if you have any other questions I’ll be around this section, the main doctor will most likely be in later to speak to Mr Kim about everything.”

You thanked her and she left, leaving the three of you alone.

—————————

“Welcome home!” Everyone exclaimed as they jumped out from behind furniture, causing Namjoon to jump before he burst into laughter.

Jungkook and Jimin has insisted on throwing Namjoon a surprise party after he was released from hospital. They’d even made him a banner.

“You guys are so cute,” you giggled and they beamed,

“We try,”

Everyone gave Namjoon a hug and a non-alcoholic was pushed into his hand.

“This is gonna taste like shit,” Namjoon chuckled and Yoongi laughed,

“Take what you can get, you can’t drink with your meds, but atleast you can pretend,”

“Fair point,”

The night went on and spirits were high as Hoseok and Tae sang at the top of their lungs in the middle of the living room. You watched them with giggles escaping your lips, but you couldn’t help but notice Namjoons absence.

You looked around for him before finally finding him upstairs, sat on the edge of his bed.

“What you doing up here?” You asked, sitting down beside him.

“I just needed a breather,” he gave you a half smile before laying back on his bed, the sounds of drunken singing from the floor below filling the room, making you both laugh.

“I can see why,” you giggled, laying down beside him, your hand finding his and entwining them together.

You just laid there for a moment, happy in eachothers company.

“I meant what I said you know..” he spoke up and you turned your head to face him, his gaze already focused on you.

“What?”

“When I got shot..I told you I loved you and I meant it. I was scared I’d never get to tell you so I said it then, but I still meant it the same way..I just know I love you.”

“I know, I just didn’t want you to think you were going to die, so I didn’t say it back, I had to give you something to come back to me for, which I knew was a risk because you was in a bad way, and I would’ve regretted never saying it to you, because I love you too. I love you a lot, actually.”

“You do?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded as you watched him move closer, his nose now brushing against yours.

“Say it again,”

You felt shy as you could feel the heat radiating from him, but you still said it. “I love you,”

He smiled, pressing his lips to yours. You instantly kissed him back and you tugged him closer, making him manoeuvre himself on top of you.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he mouthed against your lips before pulling away, and you looked up at him, confused of what he was doing. “So..does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” He asked, and you couldn’t stop the smile spreading across your face as you saw him chew on his bottom lip out fo nerves. He was so cute.

“Of course, I’ll be your girlfriend,” you giggled, “c’mere,”

You pulled him back down to you and you could feel him smiling into the kiss, his lips eventually trailing off to your jaw and down to your neck, the soft mumble of ‘I love you’ being said against your skin with every kiss he pressed.

“I love you, too, I love you, too, I love you, too,” you laughed and he smiled, lifting his head to bring his lips back to yours again. The kisses soon turned heated as he deepened them, his body now pressed against yours as you felt the gentle grind of his hips. You’d been in this situation with Namjoon before and there had always been an interruption, this time was no acception.

“Hey Namj- ahhh sorry, sorry, sorry!” Jungkook exclaimed as he quickly shut the door and ran back downstairs. You started laughing at his reaction and Namjoon groaned,

“What is it with us and never getting to finish what we’ve started?”

“In all fairness, we are at your welcome home party,”

“Okay, ‘mrs logical’,”

“Shut up,” you smiled, slapping his arm playfully. “I guess this just gives you something to look forward to when everybody’s gone home,”

He groaned as he rolled off of you, “they’re not gonna leave for hours!!”

You laughed as you got to your feet, putting your hand out to him, “c’mon, lover boy,”

He groaned again as he took your hand, following you out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

“Did you guys have sex with us right here?” Jin exclaimed as he slumped down on the sofa, “because if you did, that’s gross”

“No actually, we got interrupted, thanks a lot Kookie.” Namjoon fake smiled in his direction and he gave a nervous smile back.

“Sorry, hyung”

“Shut up, Namjoon” you laughed, “it’s fine Jungkook, we weren’t gonna have sex anyway,”

“We weren’t?”

“They were,” yoongi chimed in as he cracked open another beer.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough talk about our sex life!” you interrupted before anybody could say anything else, “buuuuut, while we were upstairs he did ask me to be his girlfriend,”

“Oh my god, finally!”

“It’s only been MONTHS of us lot having to watch you two be weirdly intimate,”

“Wait, you did say yeah, right?”

“Yes, I said yeah” you laughed and Hoseok breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank god or this could’ve gotten super awkward”

“Wow, look at youuuuu! You’re finally having your first girlfriend!” Yoongi laughed as he got Namjoon into a headlock.

“Ahh, shut up,” Namjoon laughed as they got into a play fight.

“Careful! You’ve still got stitches!” You called out, knowing he was still gonna throw himself and Yoongi to the floor with no hesitation.

The party wound down at around 2am after plenty of teasing towards Namjoon had been done and all the beers had been drunk.

They took taxi’s home and as soon as Tae left and it was just the two of you left in the house you felt Namjoon wrap his arms around you from behind, his large frame encasing your smaller one in a backwards bear hug as he buried his face in your neck, a small sigh escaping his lips as you ran your hand through his hair.

“Are you gonna take me up to bed now?” You asked, turning in your boyfriends arms so you could face him, you could see him fighting off a playful smile as he ran his hands down to your bum, giving it a squeeze.

He leant in and pressed his lips to yours, your arms coming up and wrapping around his neck as he held you tightly, the kisses soon turning passionate and needy as you pulled at his hair, your tongues now swirling around in eachothers mouths.

Despite his injuries he lifted you onto his body with ease, your legs going around his waist as he stumbled you both up the stairs, his lips not leaving yours for a split second, even when he bumped into the banister, causing you to giggle against his lips. When he got to his bedroom he kicked the door open before pushing your back up against it, your hands now tugging at his shirt as you tried to pull it off. He helped you, using his body to keep you against the door as he pulled it over his head, throwing it on the floor beside him. Your lips found his again before trailing off down to his neck, causing a groan to leave his lips as he walked you over to the bed, sitting on the edge with you sat over his lap.

His neck was always a weak point, you felt him grip your hips tightly as you neared his sweet spot, a moan eventually escaping through gritted teeth as you begun to nip, suck and kiss at it. You couldn’t help but smile against his sensitive skin as you realised such a small thing could make such a strong man turn to putty in your hands.

You pushed him back onto the bed so you were above him, surprised he was letting you be in charge as you dotted kisses down his chest and onto his stomach, careful of his healing wounds. You flicked your gaze up to him as you got to the hem of his trousers, your hands beginning to unbutton them as he propped himself up onto his elbows, watching you intently. You pulled his trousers down his legs, wasting no time in wrapping your hand around his shaft through his boxers and massaging a steady rhythm against it. He let out a hum as he bit his bottom lip, it had been a while since anybody had touched him like this, and the fact it was you after all these months of him wishing you were his made it all even more intoxicating.

You continued to tease and jack him off through his boxers as you moved up his body so your face was now in front of his, his eyes already looking dazed as they glanced between your eyes and your lips. He took your face in his hands as he pressed his lips to yours, tongues slipping into eachothers mouths straight away. One of his hands slid up into your hair where it grabbed a fistful, his teeth now catching hold of your bottom lip as he gently tugged on it before pulling away.

“Suck my dick, baby” he pressed one last kiss to your lips as you nodded, moving back down his body to where his now rock hard dick strained against the thin fabric of his underwear. You slowly eased the fabric back, watching as he sprang to attention, precincts oozing from the tip. You wet your lips as you wrapped your hand around his now exposed length, the heat of it against your palm surprising you as you hesitated to put it in your mouth. You felt him loosen his grip in your hair and you looked up at him, his eyes still on you.

“I forgot it was your first time,” he spoke up, a little amused smile on his face. “Take your time, I won’t rush you,”

“Sorry,” you laughed nervously, “it’s just weird,”

“Weird?” He chuckled, “I guess it is, lemme show you something, you’ll be impressed”

He got you to let go of his shaft and you watched as he tensed his muscles, making it move up and down on its own.

“Oh my god” you laughed, “that’s so cool!”

He laughed with you, “see! I told you you’d be impressed!”

Once you both stopped playing around you finally got round to taking him into your mouth, taking your time to work on the tip as you eased it in. You heard him let out a sigh as he let his head fall back, which encouraged you to take him in all the way before building up a steady rhythm as you bobbed your head up and down, using your hand help you.

“Ah, fuck” he cursed, his hand finding itself back in your hair as he wanted to feel himself hit the back of your throat, but he was still careful to not push you too far.

He knew he had to stop you when he felt a familiar build of tension in the pit of his stomach, there’s no way he was gonna cum already, so he painstakingly got you to stop, his hand gripping the sheets beside him as you purposely drew out the final suck, making sure you moved slowly, your cheeks hollowed from the suction. When you finally released him from your mouth with a pop, he let out a sigh, so thankful it didn’t push him over the edge. He turned his gaze back to you as you wiped your mouth, your mascara now slightly smudged from the way your eyes had watered as he hit the back of your throat. You would’ve thought you looked a mess, but he thought you looked amazing.

He sat up, his lips meeting yours as his hands worked your top over your head, throwing it off the side of the bed. He flipped you both over so your body now laid beneath his, his eyes staying on yours for a moment before he disappeared down to your neck. You sighed as he nipped and sucked at the skin, leaving a trail of hickeys down to your chest where he then worked at the newly exposed skin poking out of your bra as he left kisses while massaging into them with his large palms, but he soon became tiresome of the restriction stopping him from feeling you against him, so he eased the straps down your arms and you arched your back, allowing him to unclasp it, the bra soon ending up discarded on the floor.

He wasted no time in taking your right nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it before sucking it in between his lips, his left hand also working at your right breast.

You sighed, your hand combing through his hair as as he swapped over, the attention of his mouth now focused on the left side. When he was satisfied with the loved he’d shown to your chest he continued his journey down, kissing a trail across your stomach to your jeans.

He sat up, his eyes quickly scanning your face to make sure it was okay to go on, before unbuttoning them and dragging them down your legs, but he left your knickers on, he wanted to work you up a bit more first.

He lifted one of your legs so it rested against his shoulder and he kissed down the inside, paying extra attention to your inner thigh.

You closed your eyes, focusing on every little thing he did as he slowly worked you up. He knew exactly what to do with his mouth and where to put his hands to have you bucking your hips up towards him within minutes.

“Want me to eat your pussy, baby?” He asked, his eyes flicking up to you as he gripped your hips, holding them down against the bed.

“Mhmm,” you nodded and he hooked his fingers under the waistband, making sure he pulled your underwear down at a snails pace because he knew you’d get frustrated.

“Oh my god, take them off faster” you groaned out of impatience and he chuckled,

“If you look at me then I will,”

A part of you had been avoiding eye contact on purpose, you felt shy to be in this new vulnerable situation. You’d never been exposed like this to anybody.

”That’s embarrassing,”

“No it’s not, it’s sexy, I wanna see your face when I make you feel good”

You thought for a moment before taking a breath and propping yourself up on your elbows to look at him, your cheeks already burning red.

He kept his gaze on yours as he pulled your underwear off, dropping them to the floor.

When his gaze dropped and his attention turned to your core you couldn’t believe how he was making you feel. Moans were falling from your mouth as your thighs squeezed his head, your hand quickly locking itself in his hair as his tongue created just the right rhythm, he didn’t leave an inch of your heat unloved.

When he introduced his fingers into the mix your breathing began to get erratic, you could feel a build up of pressure forming between your legs, “oh-oh my god” you dragged out within a moan, Namjoon kept his mouth moving between your legs as he looked up at you, he took in the way you bit down on your bottom lip and the way your eyes rolled back before you squeezed them shut. The flush of pink in your cheek somehow making you look even more beautiful, probably because he knows he was the one to cause it. He’d never been more turned on by someone reaching their orgasm, he wanted to see you reach your high over and over again.

When he saw you relax again he lifted his head, licking his lips. He had the cheekiest smile across his face as he continued to pump some fingers in and out of you, making sure you were ready for what was coming next.

“How was that?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow at you. “Did I make you feel good?”

You nodded, “it was intense”

He pulled his fingers out of you and looked at the wetness that was now slicked over them. He moved up your body and brought them to your lips, to which you opened up and sucked them into your mouth, tasting yourself off of his fingers.

“You’re so sexy,” his voice sounded hoarse as he took his fingers from your mouth and looked down at you, his body now pressed firmly between your legs as he slowly thrust up and down against your slick pussy lips.

You pulled him down to kiss you and you felt the neediness grow between you both, you just wanted to be as close as humanly possible, you’d never felt like this before, you’d never felt the need to get even closer to someone that you was already chest to chest with. You couldn’t have imagined what this kind of intimacy felt like, it was just so intense, everything felt like electricity.

“I want you inside me,” you breathed against his lips, and he opened his eyes to look back at you as he sucked your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging on it as he pulled away.

“Your wish is my command, baby”

He pushed himself up off of you to reach over to the night stand, where he rummaged and brought out a condom.

“Someone’s prepared,”

“Better to be safe than sorry,” he smiled as he ripped the packet open, throwing it off the side of his bed.

You watched him as he rolled the protection over his shaft, pumping himself a few times to get ready.

He was so gorgeous.

Once he was ready he positioned himself between your legs, moving his cock yo and down against your wetness to make sure the tip was slick.

“You ready?” He asked and you nodded, taking your bottom lip between your teeth as you relaxed against the mattress.

He sat himself at your entrance and gently eased his hips forward, his teeth gritting as he felt how tight you were. He leant forward so his face was above yours, he had to read your face, he didn’t want it to hurt.

He moved his hips at a painfully slow rate, easing himself in until he was entirely inside.

He groaned at the sensation, you were so hot and tight, the pressure you were causing around his dick made his breathing uneasy.

“Is it okay to move? Does it hurt?”

You shook your head, “you can move”

He let out a sigh as he started to gently thrust in and out of you, your legs wrapping themselves around his waist, causing it to suddenly feel like he was going even deeper than he was before.

It wasn’t long until you were adjusted and he was going as a steady pace, his face burying itself in your neck so he could suck hickeys onto your skin, his plump lips then dragging sloppy kisses across the newly purpled trail of skin.

He varied his pace, going from slow and grinding into you to fucking you hard and fast, both of which made your head spin.

“You don’t get how hard it is to stop myself from cumming” he breathed, his hair now sticking to his forehead from the sweat he’d built up.

“Just cum,”

He shook his head, “I want to keep going, I want you to get off before I do,” and with that he reached between you both and started to rub your now swollen clit as he thrust in and out of you, the contact making you gasp since it had become extra sensitive.

He had to close his eyes as you moaned beneath him this combined with the sensation of you dragging your nails down his back causing him to growl through his teeth.

When you finally came undone it pushed him over the edge. The sight of you arching your back and saying his name was just too much, his thrusts began to get sloppy as he leant back onto his knees, his head lulling to look up at the ceiling as he closed his eyes, his breathing becoming deep and shakey as he rode out his high.

When he pulled out he carefully removed his now cum filled condom, tying the top and somehow successfully throwing it into your waste paper bin. “I promise I’ll take that out in the morning,” he said through an exhale as he flopped onto the bed beside you, trying to calm himself. You turned to him and he matched your gaze, a lazy smile forming across his face.

“Was that okay?” he continued, his voice sounding steadier now.

“Eh,” you shrugged and he raised an eyebrow at you,

“Okay, I’ll bare that in mind for next time, I’ll be sure to get the whips and chains out.”

You laughed, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding” you moved closer to him and pressed your lips to his. “It was amazing, I love you.”

“I love you, too” he smiled, pulling the covers over you both. “I just know you’re gonna become a little freak, you’re gonna have me working on you all the time, now”

You couldn’t hide the playful smile that took over your face. “What makes you say that?”

“I can just tell, you loved it.”

He wasn’t wrong.

“Can’t knock anything till you’ve tried it, right?”

“Oo, that’s what I like to hear” he mumbled into a kiss as he squeezed your bum, pulling you closer to him so your body’s now overlapped into a cuddle.

Despite being a sweaty mess, neither of you had ever felt so content. After everything that had happened over the past few weeks, you had to find solace in the little things like this. The intimate moments where it felt as though you were both untouchable, like nobody else existed in the world.

That’s what happiness really felt like.

It’s all you’d ever wanted.

[fairie-gothmother]

In The Shadow of Starlight, Part 4: Mental Bullet Wounds

Part 1: The Fall

Part 2: Negotiating With Gods

Part 3: The Nature of the Beast

"Ah. Fuck!" Octavia was getting frustrated. Of course, she had to get shot in the most awkward spot possible. No matter how she twisted, she just couldn't get a good view of the bullet wound in her shoulder. It didn't help that this medical room didn't have the proper equipment for self surgery. She hadn’t had the time to order supplies, so all she had to extract bullets was a knife and a tiny wall mounted mirror.

She pulled her shirt down further off the shoulder and tried yet another angle to get a better look. Seeing the reflection of her back, she was reminded why she kept herself covered at all times. Nothing but ridged, pink scar tissue covered her entire back and extended beneath the collar of the shirt down both arms. It was disgusting. She hated it. Hated the way it looked, the way it felt, and the memories it brought up.

She saw tears welling up in the eyes of her reflection. What a sorry sight. She looked up and blinked away the tears, refusing to let them fall.

"Oh," came a voice in the room.

Octavia's stomach felt like it dropped to her ankles. She quickly covered up and turned to see Troy Calypso standing just inside the medical room, holding his side. He said, "I was going to tell you to stitch this up for me, but it looks like you could use a hand yourself."

"No, I got it," she snapped. Of course this guy didn't have the courtesy to fucking knock.

"Hm. That's funny. 'Cause from here, it looks like you're just making it worse by blindly digging around with that knife."

As much as she hated to admit it, he was right, but her self consciousness held her back. She tried so hard to make sure no one ever knew about her deepest shame, she couldn't let her defenses down that easily.

"You don't understand," she said, looking anywhere but the other man in the room.

"You really don't think the one armed cyborg would understand? C'mon. Let me take out that bullet so you can get started on sewing me up."

His gaze had focused on her, expression mixed somewhere between impatience, concern, and something else she couldn't put her finger on. Pulling her shirt down once again off the shoulder, she turned slightly and gestured her head towards her back.

She tensed as Troy crossed the room towards her, feeling her face get redder with each step. She turned facing away from him to give him access to the wound.

"You can use the switchblade on the table. Just push the button to open it," Octavia said.

"I do know how knives work," Troy said wryly. Octavia was about to retort, but the words were forgotten when she felt his fingertips sweep across the bare skin of her back. She shivered involuntarily. She hoped he didn't notice how much his light touch and close proximity was affecting her. To be honest, she didn't even want to admit it herself. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on sitting still.

Octavia couldn't help but flinch when the cool metal blade touched her skin and plunged into the wound.

"Ow! Be careful," Octavia hissed.

She could tell Troy was actually trying to remove the bullet without hurting her, but it was deeper than expected. Her eyes squeezed shut as he dove the tip of the blade further into the hole.

"It would be easier to be careful if you didn't move so much. Hold on. I think I got it." He held her shoulder for stability so he didn't accidentally cut her. He managed to angle the blade behind the tip of the bullet, slowly easing it out. After several long moments passed, he took the knife out and removed the metal object with his hand. Octavia yelped when he yanked it out. She turned to glare at Troy who only grinned and waved the bloody bullet in his hand.

"There. See, I know what I'm doing. Feel better?"

"Yeah," Octavia said. She ignored the heat in her cheeks as she pulled her shirt up over the exposed skin.

When Octavia thought back to when she first met the Calypso, she remembered thinking he was nothing but a monster. Now, she felt almost guilty for feeling that way. She owed him a lot. Not only for removing the bullet embedded in her shoulder but also for saving her life during the raid. She wanted to thank him, but just couldn't find the words to do it.

“Alright, let’s do this.” Troy pulled his tank top off over his head and laid down on the examination table. He beckoned her to come closer. Octavia’s eyes went wide at the implication. Was this how he wanted her to thank him? He pointed to a cut on the side of his abdomen. “Don’t tell anybody I got tagged by a tink. Little shit came out of nowhere.”

Oh, right… What was wrong with her? She had to get a grip. Embarrassed from misinterpreting things, she wordlessly began cleaning his injury. She hadn’t felt this vulnerable in a long time. She hated needing help, but she hated her deformed body even more. That was a part of herself that she didn’t share with anyone. It was meant to stay hidden, locked away in the past where no one could reach it.

"So you wanna talk about it?" Troy asked. Octavia was becoming concerned with how well he was able to read her.

"Not really."

He slowly nodded, but didn’t look away from her. Her defenses were cracking under his steady gaze. She didn’t like how transparent he made her feel.

“Do you?” she asked, motioning towards his mechanical arm. It came out a little more aggressive than she meant it to.

Troy was still looking at her, but now as if he was trying to come to some sort of decision. The corner of his mouth twitched. “Touch��, smart ass,” he teased.

Octavia was relieved he let that slide. She didn’t have the energy to deal with any more stress. Getting shot during a raid was enough for one day. She absentmindedly stitched up the wound, barely noticing the Calypso watching her as she worked.

“Good as new,” Octavia said, taping a gauze pad over the stitches.

Troy swung his long legs over the side of the examination table and stood. “Finally. I was getting bored. You really need some magazines or something in here,” he said, making his way across the room. You’re welcome, Octavia thought bitterly.

Her annoyance faded when she noticed the Calypso begin to stagger. All the color drained from his face, and his eyes glazed over. “Hey, are you okay?” she asked. Before he reached the door, Troy stumbled backwards into the counter with a loud crash. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he slumped to the floor unconscious.

~~~

Troy gradually regained awareness. He was still in the medical room, lying on an examination table. His skull felt like it would split in two. Involuntarily, he let out a groan.

“You’re awake.” Octavia’s voice came from somewhere behind him. She rushed to his side carrying a tray of herbs and stone tools.

“What… what happened?” Troy asked. He blinked at the lights overhead.

“I was about to ask you the same thing. You passed out,” she said.

Shit. He knew he was getting weaker. He checked the siren marks on his left arm, flexing and rotating his hand. Their usual glow had dimmed to the point where the marks looked like normal tattoos.

“Looks like the energy withdrawals are starting to hit pretty hard. Does anyone else know?”

“No, you’ve only been out for a few minutes. Take this.” Octavia said. She handed him a cup of thick, murky brown liquid that smelled like compost.

“What is it?”

“Chocolate milk. Just drink it.”

Troy turned his nose up at it before gulping it down. It was cold and viscous like slime that quite literally slid down his throat. It tasted like an entire spice rack stewed in swamp sludge. “Gah! C’mon, witch doctor. Why does everything you give me taste like you scooped it out of a toilet?”

After weeks of being teased and belittled for her profession, something in Octavia finally snapped. She coldly replied, “Well, excuse me, your highness. It’s medicine. It isn’t supposed to taste good. I’m an herbalist, not a witch doctor, and not one of your gourmet chefs.” She snatched the cup from Troy’s hands. “You could try showing a little fucking gratitude.” She stormed to the other side of the room slamming her tray on the counter.

A pang of guilt twinged in his gut. The silence lasted uncomfortably long. She had just given him medicine after he collapsed on her floor in a severely vulnerable state. He winced as he swallowed his pride.

“You’re right. Thank you, Vi.”

Octavia turned her head to look at Troy over her shoulder. Her face was flushed a light shade of pink, either still angry from his previous comment or flustered from this uncharacteristic response.

Troy continued, “Guess I owe you one. Thanks to you, Pandora is graced with my fine ass another day.”

“Pff, please. You don’t have an ass,” Octavia said as she eyed him up and down.

“Oh, really? Wanna see for yourself?” He rolled onto his side, put a thumb beneath his waistband, and tugged downward. Octavia yelped and squeezed her eyes closed.

“Don’t you dare!” she shouted.

Troy broke into a fit of laughter. Octavia tried to keep the stern look on her face by tightly pursing her lips together, but she failed and eventually cracked a smile. For the first time, the tension between them lifted. Troy realized that he liked seeing her smile.

The pleasantness of the moment didn’t last long as Troy was struck with another wave of vertigo. He leaned back onto the exam table. “Got any magic toilet water to keep me from keeling over again?”

“I’m not sure. We should talk to Professor Tannis. If there's anyone who knows about siren energy, it's her-”

Her voice faded as Troy’s head reeled again. He pressed his human palm to his temple to keep the room from spinning. He imagined how his followers would react to seeing their omnipotent leader faint. Did he even have followers anymore? Some god he was.

This was the worst his withdrawals have ever been. All his life, Tyreen was right by his side to feed him energy when he needed it, even if she did call him a parasite for asking. That bitch knew he couldn’t survive without her. Banishing him was equivalent to letting him starve to death.

Troy was pulled from his thoughts feeling fingertips graze across his forehead, brushing the hair from his face.

“Did you hit your head? Does it hurt?” Octavia asked. Her delicate fingers were soft and cool on his skin. Her large emerald eyes scanned his face for signs of injury. A few strands of chestnut colored hair fell from her ponytail and framed her heart-shaped face.

A spicy floral scent emitted from her as she leaned over him. Her face was close enough to his that with a simple raise of his chin, he would find out if she tasted as sweet as she smelled.

He caught himself and pushed the traitorous thoughts from his mind. He looked away and swatted her hands off him. “No, it’s fine. Just a little lightheaded.”

Don’t, he scolded himself. She treated all her patients like this, right? She only cared about the health of the God King. Everyone always cared for the God King. Not long ago, he would have crushed every bone in her hand for having the audacity to touch him. No one ever gave a shit before. This was no different.

Troy slipped back into his persona and flashed a cocky grin.

“Besides, look who you’re talking to. Just for the sake of my quality of life though, we should go ahead and get a hold of, uh… crazy scientist lady.”

“Her name is Tannis.”

“That’s the one.”

~~~

Sanctuary. What a spectacular name for such a shithole. Only a handful of people roamed the halls, and Troy swore he saw a claptrap unit chasing a ratch around. He wasn’t sure what he expected Sanctuary to be, but it sure wasn’t this.

Time dragged on while Tannis got situated in the lab. It was entertaining watching her scurry around at first, trying to make sense of the unusual songs she sang to herself. Now Troy was bored, and no one else in the room attempted to make conversation. Curiosity finally got the better of him. “So, Martha.”

“It’s Maya,” the sapphire siren chided.

“Right. I’ve never met another siren other than my sister. What are your powers like?”

The corners of Maya’s mouth turned up into a grin. Surprisingly, she chose to indulge him. “I’m able to phaselock targets and suspend them in another dimension.”

“Whoa, that sounds rad.” He stood back and held his arms out. “Here, do me.”

“I am not going to phaselock you.”

He dropped his arms and pouted. “Aw, come on!”

Tannis lightly whacked him on the arm with her clipboard. “As tempting as it is to start a siren fight club, I’m afraid there are more pressing matters at hand. If you could stand still for a moment-” Tannis poked and prodded at him, occasionally saying things like, “fascinating.” Troy was hyper aware of how close she was to his right side, turning to keep her to his left as much as possible. He jumped when he felt a pinch on his ass. “Interesting,” Tannis said.

Maya helped get things back on track. “Alright. So far we know that Troy can’t absorb the life force from living things like Tyreen can, and she could somehow channel energy to him through touch. Is there anything else we have to work with?”

Troy wished there was. “Other than that, it’s all I’ve got. That’s just one part to my curse. Aside from being a defective siren, I’ve also been cursed with irresistible good looks.”

“Tch. You wish.” A dark blue haired kid scoffed from the back of the lab. She leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. Troy hadn’t noticed her until now.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” he asked, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his tone.

“I’m going to be a siren. An actual siren, not whatever you are. I’d put an end to assholes like you. I don’t know why we’re trying to keep you alive, honestly.”

Maya interrupted, “You’ll have to excuse my apprentice. Ava, stop threatening people with powers you don’t have yet. I said you could watch as long you didn’t cause trouble.”

Ava’s tough girl act dropped. “I know. I’ll behave, promise. Please don’t kick me out.”

What a punk. “Okay, kid. You let me know if that siren thing ever works out for ya.” Troy clicked his tongue and winked at her. She shook with impotent rage, fists clenched at her sides like a child about to throw a tantrum.

Tannis was about to explode in anticipation, eager to start her experiments. “Well, cursed or otherwise, I find your physical attractiveness confusingly repulsive. That being said, I feel you have an important part to play in the coming days. So I’ve prepared several only mildly painful experiments. Now, where to start?”

Tannis was completely in her element, recording Echo logs and bouncing around Troy while he soaked in all the attention. His bask in the spotlight was short lived.

The tests began with the obvious catalyst for siren power, eridium. After trying different delivery methods, Troy got impatient and stupidly licked a chunk of raw eridium. Other than burning his tongue, it had no effect. Next, they attempted to transfer siren energy indirectly. Maya charged an Eridian artifact as a sort of battery for Troy to draw from. Again, no results.

After hours of trial and error, one failure after another, they’d concluded every test.

“I think we have to call it quits,” Maya admitted. She looked tired, wiping the sweat from her brow. “You gave it your best shot, Tannis.”

“How curious. It would seem Troy is a siren in tattoos only,” Tannis said, looking defeated.

Troy was exhausted. “This blows,” he said, sprawled out across the examination table, panting slightly from the exertion. “Don’t mind me, ladies. It’s not like my life depends on it or anything.” Troy caught Ava wearing a shit-eating grin and stuck his tongue out at her.

“I think we may be on the right track,” Tannis circled around the examination table, talking more to herself than to anyone else in the room. “Perhaps Troy’s cybernetics could be modified to include Eridian artifacts into the bio-integration components.”

Troy closed his eyes, grateful for a moment to rest. He had hoped Tannis would at least find a temporary solution to his dependency on Tyreen. He was running off of fumes. It was only a matter of time until his tank ran completely dry.

While he was busy worrying about his own mortality, Troy didn’t notice Tannis absentmindedly extending her hand until she touched his shoulder brace. He jolted from his lamenting. In an instinctual panic, he caught her bare wrist in his human hand.

A familiar flood of power surged through him. He threw his head back, caught in the sudden sensation. Red tendrils entwined his arm with Tannis’s, filling him with the strength his starving body so desperately craved. His siren marks blazed back to life in a brilliant flash of crimson.

Then, he was unable to move, frozen in place. Maya had activated her powers and suspended him in midair. So this was what being phaselocked felt like. His insides burned like the sting of frostbite. His breath caught in his throat, lungs refusing to function. Maya lifted him into the air and tossed him across the room away from Tannis. He yelled as he was sent careening into a counter full of lab equipment.

Maya helped Tannis up from the floor. A distinct blue glow peaked out from beneath one sleeve of her lab coat.

“I thought you could only take from Tyreen!” Maya said, her face drained of color.

Troy held up his left arm observing the intense light of his marks. “I guess it’s any siren.”

Ava pointed to the scientist’s glowing arm. “Tannis? You’re a…”

A siren.

[shittyfandomimagines]

Appendicitis

Word count: 2,109

Angstsy with a little fluff.

(GIF creds to owner)

“You denied my FaceTime call.” I could basically hear the pout in Luke’s voice. “Yeah, I just don’t look good right now.” Well, it wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth. “Pft, you can look amazing in a trash bag for all I care.” Luke sounded slightly annoyed but mostly joking.

I didn’t want him to see what room I was in because it definitely wasn’t our house, the last thing I need is for Luke to ask a thousand different questions.

Two days ago, I had a huge ass pain in my side. Turns out I have a chronic appendix that I never knew was chronic, so the pain hit me like a 2-ton truck and basically, I passed out. Then, I got a concussion from passing out and now I’m waiting for my head to get better before they can do the surgery. I have bruises all over my face and arms from hitting the floor and the last thing Luke needs to see before a show is his girlfriend filled with bruises and in a hospital bed.

“You’ve been acting weird for the past 2 days, is there something I should be worried about?” He asks and I could tell he was overly worried. “Nope, just been getting shit-faced drunk every night and out partying.” I joke and I hear him scoff. “Yeah, really funny.” He says and I scrunch up my face a little. “It was a joke, it’s not like that’s not what you guys do every night after a show. What would be any different if I was doing it?” I ask and I really didn’t mean for a joke to go this far.

“Well, you hardly drink and I can imagine that getting drunk would elude that something is wrong. Are you mad at something or someone?” He asks like he’s searching for an answer. “Luke, I said that I’m not even getting drunk. I literally don’t understand how you can’t take a joke.” I sigh and brush my fingers through my hair.

“Y/n, I can take a joke and on most days I know that you’re joking. You’re just acting really fucking weird. Is it okay for me to be concerned for you? Or is that asking for too much?” He snaps and I roll my eyes. “Yeah, it’s a lot to ask for since you never cared beforehand. You hardly call me Luke, so it’s not that big of a deal now that you’re actually on the phone.” I fumed and I heard him sigh on the other side.

“Are you sure that you’re okay?” He asks and I groan. “Yes Luke, I’m fine,” I say and he starts moving around on the other end of the line. “We play Atlanta in an hour and then we have a few days break before Nashville, so I’ll probably not come home.” He says, I finally realized that was what he wanted to avoid and tried to make a scene over it. Luckily for me, I didn’t have to let him know I was in a hospital.

“Goodbye, Luke,” I mumble after a short and quiet period. “Bye, I love you.” He says and I tried to smile. “I love you too.” I end the call and put my phone down beside me on the bed.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s time for your pain medicine.” The nurse that I actually like says as she knocks quietly. “Thank god, my head is pounding,” I admit and her face contorted, she looked worried now. “Not from my concussion but from a personal life thing, I’m not gonna die. Promise.” I add and I see relief flood her.

“You seem lonely in here.” She says cautiously, putting something on my IV hook. “Yeah, but I’m used to being alone at home so this is no different,“ I mumble as I twirl the engagement ring on my finger. I loved the ring, but sometimes I felt like it took up too much space on my finger.

“No family around?” She asks and I nod. “My parents live very far away and my fiancé travels a lot, it’s usually just me and Petunia, our dog,” I explain and she gives me a sympathetic smile. “But there is one girl who visits every day at the same time, isn’t there?” She asks and I nod.

“That’s Louisa, she is my friend who took me to the hospital, she gets off work and comes to see me. I was lucky enough that I woke up and called her, if not I’d probably be dead on my floor.” I admit and she just nods. I honestly had to beg Louisa not to call Luke, I didn’t want him to drop tour and fly to be with me. I couldn’t do that to the fans.

“Well, on a higher note; the doctor reviewed your case this afternoon and thinks it’s time for your appendix to come out. It’s only going to get worse and since your head is getting better, we need to get the appendix out.” She says and I nod. “So, when do I have to stop eating?” I ask and she looks at her watch.

“It’s 6:30, so you have till 12. Do you want me to get you any snacks from the nurses' station?” She asks and I shake my head. “I’ll text my friend and ask her to pick me up some food,” I say and she nods. “Okay, I’ll leave you alone now. Bye girl.” She says and closes the door on the way out.

I quickly text my friend and then situate myself on the uncomfortable bed. I watch some reruns of I Love Lucy and eat some of the ice chips they put in my cup. “Knock knock.” Louisa’s voice catches my attention and I wave her in.

“It looked pretty lonely in here, I brought some balloons to cheer it up.” She said and put the balloons on the bedside table by the phone.

“Thanks, I’m sorry you had to stop and get some food. They say I’m having my appendix out tomorrow and I won’t be able to eat past midnight.” I explain and she nods, sitting beside me. “Well, it’s no problem. You’re in a hospital bed with a concussion and a fucked up appendix, the least I could do is stop by Subway.” She jokes and puts the sandwich in front of me.

“Well, I appreciate it,” I mumble and she tilts her head slightly. “You seem upset, I mean you have all the reasons to be, but you seem really down.” She voices and I nod my head. “Luke and we’re bickering, they have a couple days off after the show tonight and said he wouldn’t be coming home. I know I’ve asked you not to tell and I haven’t said anything, but it hurts to know he isn’t coming home regardless if I was sick. I know it’ll be a waste of a trip and it’ll make him unbelievably anxious over it, but I guess I still feel upset.” I twirl the ring so more and then I take it off.

“Woah, put the ring that costs more than my entire life back on your finger.” She warns and I laugh a little. “I’m not going to break up with Luke, I just want you to take it so they won’t lose it tomorrow during surgery.” I chuckle and she takes it like a child afraid of being scolded.

“Put it on your finger or something, I’ll get it back from you tomorrow night,” I say as she continued to be really cautious. “Holy fuck, this weights like thirty pounds.” She examines her finger and I was almost empty without it on me.

“It doesn’t weigh 30 pounds.” I laugh and she pulls her phone out of her pocket. “Oh god, the babysitter is calling. I’ve most likely got to be at home, so I love you so much. I’ll see you tomorrow night and if you need me to call off work, I’m here. I will not lose this gorgeous ring.” She kisses my cheek softly and sprints out the door, phone clutched by her ear.

I eat the rest of my sandwich and push the table away from me, I turn off the light above me and turn on my side. I started to look at my empty finger and my heart hurt (worse than my appendix), I really miss Luke and I wished that we never got into an argument about us so I could ask him to be here with me.

—

I hear sniffles and it wakes me up, well that and the pain in my stomach. I look down to see Luke’s curls sprawled across my arms, he was literally grasping my hand so tight.

“Luke?” I shove him a little and his head shoots up, his eyes were bloodshot. “You’re awake, I’m sorry. I know you need your sleep.” He wipes his eyes harshly and I just reach out for his hand.

“What are you doing here?” I ask and he gives me a look. “Well, let's start with the obvious fact that you’re laid across a hospital bed.” He sasses and I roll my eyes. “Let’s try this again, how did you find out?” I ask and honestly, I expected like a fan to have seen me come in and they posted it all over Instagram. “Louisa called me around 7:30 but it went to voicemail and then I got her text that said I needed to listen to the voicemail.” He explains with some more sniffles and I nod slowly. I knew she would pull this.

“What did her voicemail say?” I ask and he sighs deeply. “Y/n is in the hospital and has been for days, she has a bad concussion and will be going into surgery tomorrow to get her appendix out. Sorry, we both lied to you, thanks bye.” He repeats it and my eyes widen.

“I listened to it the whole plane ride here and it’s burned in my mind. I honestly thought you were like unresponsive- type of bad concussion. I was so fucking worried and then I thought of our small fight this afternoon and I felt worse because you were fighting to get better and I was literally making it worse. I’m such an asshole.” He groans and turns his head so I can’t see him cry. Even though he was profusely crying, I was happy to see him in person.

“Look at all of these bruises on you, maybe if I would have called you more often then you could’ve told me how your stomach had been feeling. Or that you decided to stop wearing the ring and that you probably hate the fact that I’m here right now.” He continues on and I didn’t even have the chance to reply by the time more words flowed out of his mouth.

“I honestly haven’t been a good fiancé and I’m so sorry.” He was sobbing by this point and wasn’t making any eye contact. “Luke.” I tug his arm and he keeps his head low. “Please, if you want me to go, I will.” He sniffles and I tug his arm again.

“C’mon, get up here you big dork. I want you to hold me.” I demand and he looks up quickly. “Really?” He sounded so hopeful and I nod, scooting over to make enough room for the giant. “Luke, the last thing I thought about when I fell asleep was that I wish you here and that we never argued. I’m sorry that I left you in the dust, but I knew you’d give up a lot of tour dates to be here. I didn’t want you to let the fans down.” I admit and he starts to make himself comfortable, he pushed a few hairs out of my eyes.

He was running his calloused thumb across my hand. “I gave my ring to Louisa because I didn’t want a nurse to lose it when I was in surgery. I promise that I still love you and I will put it back on the minute I’m out of surgery.” I tell him and he grins. “I’m sorry.” He says again and I shake my head.

“Hey, we’re both done with apologies now. Let’s just sleep because I need it and so do you.” I wrap my fingers around the ringlet curls in front of his eyes.

“I love you so much,” I whisper and kiss his cheek. “I love you more.”

[storiesandgarbage]

Broken (Part 1)

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader

Style: 2 part story // Part 2 here

Warnings: Mentions of broken bones, blood, fighting, swearing. Fluffy. Sweet Bucky is Sweet

Summary: After you’re injured on a mission Bucky takes care of you. Inspired by a writing prompt: “Are you gonna save me?”

A/N: Hi lovelies! I wrote this nice little two part story. I stumbled across the prompt in a list and this is where my imagination took me! If you want to be tagged in the second part or just in my work in general please please please let me know! Enjoy!

“Oh, fuck,” you exclaimed at the searing pain in your arm. The burly guard you had just taken down took you with him, twisting your arm under his weight in a way that was certainly not natural. You attempted to stand but felt a rush when you moved too fast. The pain began to make your vision spotty.

“It’s broken,” you murmured to yourself, looking to the arm in question, which hung by your side the hand facing the wrong direction. You sighed, pushing yourself off the ground with the remaining good arm.

“What’s broken?” A chorus of frantic voices all asked at once. You focused on the noise and it kept you grounded to where you were. The pain threatening to pull you under and make you lose consciousness.

“My arm,” you hissed as you tried to pick it up and examine it more thoroughly. You glanced around to make sure you weren’t gaining any company and when you determined it was safe you pulled out a knife and cut some fabric from the guard’s shirt to fashion a sling. Served him right for breaking your arm.

“What’s your location, Y/N,” Bucky’s tight voice rang out in your ear. You didn’t answer right away, distracted by your attempt at making the sling.

“Y/N, where are you?” Bucky’s voice came through again.

“Fourth floor?” You said it like a question, you were pretty sure that’s where you had last been but things were hazy in your mind. You finally got the sling tied, wanting to start moving as soon as possible. You were sure your whimpers of pain were audible over the comms unit but you struggled to care. Looking tough was the last thing on your mind when the rest of the team was still fighting which meant no one was coming to your rescue. You were going to have to get back to the quinjet on your own.

“I’ve got her tracker on the third floor, far side of the building,” You silently thanked Tony for double checking your hazed response to Bucky’s question.

“Y/N, I’m coming for you, stay put.” Bucky’s voice over the earpiece was like an angel. Your body cried in relief as you sat down immediately up against the far wall of the room you were in. You weren’t going to have to get yourself back, Bucky was coming for you. You held your semi-automatic across your lap and said a quick prayer that no more henchmen would find you. The gun though you loved it dearly was quite heavy and really required two hands. Not to mention your dominant hand that typically held the trigger was currently cradled against your body in the makeshift sling.

A few breaths later Bucky was in the room. “Buck,” you smiled lazily at him, the pain making you delirious, “are you gonna save me?”

“Of course I am sweet girl,” Bucky stooped low next to you, quickly examining your arm, “God you’re a walking train wreck aren’t you?”  He said this more to himself than to you as he lifted you off the ground. He froze momentarily when he felt a wet spot on your thigh where his hand held onto you.

“Y/N, it was just your arm that was injured right?” You tried really hard to think about it, but the longer time dragged on the more woozy you felt.

“Oh!” You exclaimed as the memory finally came back, “Some dick did stab me, but I was doing fine after that. I’ve been stabbed before James.” You laughed at yourself but Bucky didn’t seem willing to return the favor as he carried you quickly down the stairs.

“My arm hurts,” you sighed looking down at it, “Buck, I’m tired. I’m just gonna rest my eyes.”

“No, no, Y/N, you’ve lost a lot of blood. You’ve gotta stay awake for me.” Bucky tried to shake you and keep you awake while he kept moving toward the quinjet. “Keep your eyes open for me,” he begged and you tried to hang onto the sound of his voice but falling out of consciousness was like falling asleep. And you were so tired.

The last thing you heard were Bucky’s continued pleas: “No, sweet girl, hang on for me, I can’t lose you, come on Y/N.” Then, the world went black.

“If she’s going to be okay as you claim then WHY hasn’t she woken up yet?” Tony’s voice registered in your ears. He sounded upset.

“It’s been TWO days,” there he was again, “when is she going to wake up?”

Two days? Who needs to wake up? You were trying to process when you realized your eyes were closed. You took care in opening them to the light, it was blinding at first but when you focused you realized you were in the med bay. Memories of the mission came flooding back, you looked to your arm which was in a thick cast. Great, you thought to yourself, I’m going to be out for a month with this damn thing.

You felt pressure in your other hand and turned to see Bucky sleeping in the chair next to your bed, he held your hand even in sleep and your heart fluttered at the sensation. Smiling, you pulled your hand away from his and ran your fingers through his hair. The sensation startled him and he sat up, blinking quickly before registering that you were awake.

“Y/N!” He yelled and stood up, embracing you. Tony heard the commotion and came quickly to your side. Not long after, the rest of the team followed suit. They explained that the knife wound you received left you pretty well injured before you broke your arm. The blood loss seemed to have been your downfall because after you were rushed into surgery to repair your arm, you hadn’t woken up.

“We took turns sitting with you,” Thor declared, smiling from ear to ear now that he knew you were okay, “but the good Bucky refused to leave your side.” You turned your head to look at Bucky who just blushed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Buck,” you scolded, “you didn’t have to stay with me.”

“I know, but I needed to know that you were okay, that they were taking care of you.” Bucky revealed this in a low tone. Words only meant for you but that the rest of the team heard.

“Well, thank you all, for taking care of me.” Your words were sincere. The team was the only family you truly had, without them, you were nothing.

Everyone took their turns giving you hugs and well wishes before the doctors came in to examine you. Bucky stayed by your side the entire time even when everyone else left and when the doctors told you that you were clear to go back to your room Bucky put you in a wheelchair and took you there himself.

Upon arrival he took you straight to the bathroom at your request when you stood and looked in the mirror you gasped in shock.

“Did no one even attempt to clean me up?” You hair was knotted and sticking out in different directions, every visible part of your body was covered in dirt and you were pretty sure you smelled not so lovely.

“We figured you would be opposed to a sponge bath,” Bucky chuckled watching you try to brush the knots from your hair. When you gained some ground there you hobbled to the bathtub and began running the water. You added bubble bath and inhaled the scent deeply.

“I, uh, guess I’ll take my leave then,” Bucky said awkwardly and began to exit the room.

“Buck, wait.” You called to him and he halted his movements, turning to look at you once more. “I don’t think I can get in the tub myself, these don’t feel very good.” You gestured to the stitches on your thigh, just beneath the hospital gown you were still wearing.

Bucky blushed, he was going to have to put you in the tub? His heart raced at the thought.

“Maybe I should go get Natasha or something?” Bucky tried to get himself out of the situation, even if he believed it was innocent for you, he would not be able to ignore the weak feeling in his knees which came with the thought of your nakedness.

“Buck, come on,” you whined, “you’re already here, I need to sit down.” You said it with such finality. He knew there was not going to be any negotiation. You motioned for him to turn around and you pushed your underwear down until they fell on the floor, you used your bad leg to try and kick them out of sight.

“Okay,” you said, “I’m ready.” Bucky came over to you and scooped you into a cradle, lifting you up and over into the steaming water that was brimming with bubbles. Bucky turned again once he was sure you were steady and let you slip out of the hospital gown, he tried desperately hard to not look at you while he helped you into a sitting position.

“James Buchanan Barnes, are you blushing?” You teased him, which only caused his cheeks to grow warmer as he took a seat next to the tub in the desk chair he picked up from your room. He had made it this far, no sense in leaving now.

You laid back, careful to keep your cast out of the water and tried to relax. Dipping your head under the water to get your hair wet you absently wondered how you were going to thoroughly wash your hair with only one hand. Even if you wrapped your cast in a bag to keep it from getting wet you had no way to use your fingers. You entire arm was essentially just a club.

Bucky seemed to think of this as well, after watching you sit and try to fumble with the shampoo bottle he gently took it from your hand. You flipped your head around to face him, bewildered as to why he stole your shampoo.

“Relax,” he commanded when he saw your wide eyed expression, “I’m just washing your hair.” You began to protest, not wanting more help than you had already gotten from him but he quickly silenced you. “Just let me do this for you doll.” His words worked as a silencer, your heart fluttering in your chest at his sweet nickname for you. Gods above you loved that man, even if he never returned the feelings you couldn’t help the way your heart soared at the thought of him. You closed your eyes as me massaged your scalp, sighing in contentment.

Meanwhile, Bucky’s heart was racing. He combed his fingers carefully through the knots that had found home in your hair, he couldn’t help but notice the way your knees stuck out of the bath water or the fact that your body was only kept from his view thanks to the bubble bath you had added to the water. His body yearned for you in a way that he couldn’t recall ever feeling before. He wanted to be close to you, hold you, love you, and be loved in return.

He reached for the detachable spray hose on the tub and gently washed the soap from your hair. After he was done you did your best to scrub your body free of any remaining dirt then you sat until the bubbles began to dissipate.

“Alright, time to get out,” you said, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He helped you stand and then handed you a towel, carefully averting his eyes the entire time. When you were sufficiently wrapped he lifted you out of the tub and walked you into your room, placing you on the bed. He turned to the dresser and picked out a pair of shorts and one of his hoodies which you had stolen long ago and tossed them to you, letting you get dressed.

“Now, I ordered take out for us,” Bucky said, standing at the foot of your bed, “but you are on strict r&r until further notice. No exceptions, don’t even try arguing with me.” Bucky caught your expression before you could even get any words out. You laid back on your pillow and pouted. You weren’t one for idle time and being sentenced to bed rest was a fate worse than death.

“Will you at least hang out with me so I don’t die of boredom?” You asked Bucky, smiling and knowing full well that he wasn’t going to leave you alone to be bored.

“Of course sweet girl, wouldn’t want to spend my time with anyone else.” His tone was playful but you wondered if there wasn’t something more there by the way he looked into your eyes when he said it.

Bucky left the room to meet the delivery driver at the front of the compound. You cuddled under your blankets and picked out something for you both to watch on Netflix while you waited for him to come back. He returned a few moments later with arms heaping full of food.

“I figured you may be hungry,” he said sheepishly, “you haven’t eaten in three days.” You just laughed at the sight of him. He sat down a pizza box as well as several Chinese food containers. There was even a bag with French fries in it. He handed you a can of your favorite drink and plopped down on the bed next to you. He lifted up the covers so that you could share and scowled at the sight of your stitches.

“It’s okay Buck, I’m okay,” you said as you reached your good hand to smooth a hair out of his face. His only response was to place a kiss to his fingertips and then gently touch those fingertips to your stitches. He had picked up the habit from you, you picking it up from your mother who had always healed all of your injuries with that simple action. You smiled at him as he met your eyes.

“All better?” He asked.

“All better,” you took in the sight around you. Surrounded by your favorite foods and your favorite person, comfortable and safe and you couldn’t help the words that spilled out of your mouth next.

Bucky’s eyes widened at the sound of those words coming from you. It was an innocent enough notion, something you said all the time, but you meant every syllable: “I love you, James Barnes.”

[altherei]

Looking Up - Pt. 2

After Kal’s departure from the room (and hospital), Darsamane watched his daughter for a quiet moment, noticing how her gaze lingered on the doorway before returning to him. He smiled.

“... Ah.. I’m happy for you, my child. He seems a good man- and a good fit for you,” He tried to chuckle, but only managed to start up a brief coughing fit against ribs that had no interest in behaving themselves.

“Rest, Ann’da- you’re still in rough shape,” She urged him softly, pressing her hands against his arm, despite it being tucked under blankets. “But- .. yes. He is a good man. I’m.. blessed enough to count him among my friends and colleagues but.. far more blessed, I think, to have him as a partner.”

“I.. can see that- and .. I’m sure I.. look as rough as I feel,” Came his dry reply, and the young elf could only be quietly amused- if not chagrined- by his ability to find the time and energy for witticisms. Altherei went silent for a few moments, asking the question finally that had been nagging at the back of her head- perhaps Kal’s as well- since he’d first been hospitalized.

“Can you tell me what happened, Ann’da? I- they-” She paused, looking out to the doorway, then back to her father, “Nobody really knows much of anything. I was hoping you might..?”

Darsamane furrowed his brows, and a low rumble sounded from his throat in consideration. “I was.. going to meet my team.. Hillsbrad, they’d decided.. I wrote you, yes?”

“You wrote me, yes- I got your letter.”

“Good.. mmh. I set out to meet them.. I remember giving the ruins of Lordaeron a.. very wide berth.. just in case..” He spoke slowly, and while Alth had to fight the urge to rush him, she already found herself more concerned that a man normally so quick in the mind was now so slow to form a sentence. She stayed quiet, and let him continue.

“.. I remember getting through the archway and entering Silverpine.. uneventful.. but.. then…” He paused, and she could judge by the way his breathing picked up slightly that he found himself frustrated. For several long moments he was silent, desperate to find answers that no longer existed- just as Marne had told him.

“.. But then I just remember being here.” He finally said.

“You’re sure you don’t remember anything, Ann’da? Were you being followed, did someone come after you, anything like that?” She leaned forward, gently gripping his arm.

Darsamane could only shake his head, “My darling daughter.. if I could remember.. you would be the second person I’d tell- after the officials, of course.. but it’s.. not even blackness. Just.. an empty space.” He deflated, and so did Altherei. Her ears wilted, and despite the pain it caused him, Darsamane drew his hand up from underneath the blanket to take hold of her own. His grip was weak, but her fingers gingerly curled around his.

“I’m.. I’m sorry, Altherei.”

“Wh- no, don’t be sorry,” She frowned, “This isn’t your fault. And maybe you’ll remember once you’re better.. but.. there’s nothing to be-”

He cut her off first with a brief grunt, “Not.. for this- well. Yes. For making you.. worry, on your old man’s behalf.” She saw him smirk for a moment, but it was gone like a ghost. “For.. the things I said to you- the last time we spoke. For.. what I begged of you to do.”

Altherei was still then, teal eyes looking into teal eyes. She almost thought he might cry, had his eyes not been nearly swollen shut, still. Her own brows knit, and she shook her head again.

“No, Ann’da. You.. I know you said it out of love- and out of worry. That’s.. that’s a parent’s job, isn’t it?” She offered a little smile. “I know you want me to be safe- and I am. I have.. I have a lot of great people around me. I have Kal. We’re doing.. great work, and I know you’d enjoy seeing it.”

“I would.. but my dearest.. you could have a literal army.. to protect you.. and I would still worry.” His voice cracked, unused to speaking after two weeks of silence, but she could hear the soft humor in it. “But you.. forgive me?”

“Ann’da- there’s.. there’s nothing to forgive.” She replied warmly, “But if it will give you peace of mind all the same, then yes- of course I forgive you.”

“So much like your mother, still,” He grinned, uncurling his fingers from hers to pat the top of her hand with his own, “You may have inherited.. most everything else from me. But.. your ability to forgive.. mmh,” He closed his eyes, remembering the woman he loved so dearly, even after her death, “.. You got that from her, my child.”

Altherei’s ears flicked back softly- their family didn’t often speak of Lethelle- or Arathaer. Their deaths were remembered, and their memories honored, but unless brought up neither were terribly-oft discussed. That being said, Altherei had nothing but fond memories of her mother, and while the memories were now forever covered in a bittersweet haze, all the same they made her smile.

“So- mmf,” He paused, trying to make himself sit up but finding the effort required a price far too high for his ribs to want to pay, “.. Tell me.. everything. How.. how are -you-? What great plans.. do you have for the world..?” He grinned again.

And she told him everything she could recall. From the dreams of what she had for Haven’s current renovations, to her plans for the next month in the renovation of the Shelter. She told him about the folks who’d pledged their help- whether as service, guards, friendly faces, or the ones who’d taken the plunge to be partners and provide another level of aid to the Outreach. She even told him of the upcoming gathering hosted by the Sunreavers, a time for neutral guilds and groups to come together and discuss.. all manner of things. No doubt there’d be talk of the war and its effects on non-combatants and neutral organizations alike. By the time she was finished her eyes held a sparkle Darsamane found he’d missed quite dearly, and he chuckled anyway despite the pain of his ribs protesting.

“My.. what a busy bee you’ve been.. and will continue to be.” He grinned, letting out a slow breath. He could stay and chat with his daughter all day, all night, and well into the next- he had the will for it. However, his body was growing fatigued, and there was only so much time he knew he had before sleep would come knocking for him again (and sleep be damned, he felt- hadn’t he gotten more than enough in the past two weeks?).

“What about you? You’re awake now, so..” Altherei trailed off.

“They said.. I’ll be going in for surgery in a couple days- once I get a little stronger. After that.. who can say.”

Altherei’s ears flicked back once more. “If your surgery is in a couple days, I can take time off take care of you, and-”

She was cut off by a tut, “Nonsense. You have far more important work to do.”

“I can surely find someone to go to the gathering in my place, to help oversee the first week or so of renovating the Shelter and all of that..” She protested.

He tsk’d again, “No, absolutely not. I know.. I know how much family means to you, my darling. And I want you to know how much that means to me. But I will be here, and your people need you. You made commitments, and our word is our bond,” He reminded her gently, hardly a chastisement.

“You are far more important than those commitments, Ann’da. I couldn’t possibly just leave you here,” She replied with a huff.

“You can- and you should,” Came his reply, simple at first. “These commitments came first. And I insist you honor them. There are not enough people doing good work in this world yet- go, and show them what is possible.” His voice was firm, yet there was a lovingness in how he spoke. He would hear no arguments, and while one of the many things Altherei had inherited from her father was her stubbornness, she’d also learned over her century and then some to know which battles were worth fighting- this was not one.

“.. Fine. But then you’ll have to deal with me until you’re well enough to not need it anymore,” She replied, a teasing warning. Gentle footfalls behind her alerted her to Celeste’s presence- Darsamane needed to rest. She knew. Slowly, Altherei stood, offering her father’s hand one final squeeze. “And Kal will insist on cooking you something, I’m sure,” She grinned warmly, “We can even set up a trip to Haven once you’re up for it, and you can see all we’ve done.”

“I look forward to that more than you can imagine, my child. But for now.. you have work to do. And.. if I don’t get rest, I fear our delightful nurse may get quite cross,” He laughed softly, and allowed Celeste to tuck his arm back in and adjust his blankets and pillows while Altherei moved out of the way and to the door.

“Ah- but, Altherei?” He called to her.

Stopping in the doorway, she turned back. “Yes, Ann’da?”

He offered to her the warmest smile he could manage. While she couldn’t see much of it behind the swelling and bruises, she knew the expression well. Not for what she could or couldn’t see, but for how it warmed her heart.

“I love you, my sweet. And.. I am.. so very.. very proud of you.”

Her own warm smile pulled at the corners of her lips, and she wandered back in long enough to give his forehead a sweet kiss before withdrawing. “I love you too, Ann’da. I’ll see you soon enough,” She offered softly before rising once more, nodding her thanks to Celeste. She exited the hospital room and met back up with Kal. Her worries, largely, had been laid to rest. After all, what was there to worry over now that was truly of consequence? Kalomar had returned, safe and sound, just as he’d promised. Her father, while still in a most sorry state, was awake and recovering.

For the first time in recent memory, Altherei truly started to feel that things were looking up.

[haroldssfedora]

In Good Times and In Bad (Harry Styles Imagine Part 3)

SURPRISE! I was so guilty for making you guys wait for this part so I locked myself in my room with a pot of coffee (the entire coffee maker lol) and made sure to finish it today. 

Make sure to tell me what you guys think about this part HERE

If you’ve only stumbled upon this story for the first time... don’t you worry! Here’s the other parts!

PART 1 PART 2

Masterlist here

Love you guys!

~~ 

Y/N’s POV

It didn’t surprise me that Anne and Gemma already got themselves checked to be donors for Harry’s kidney donor. Like them, I underwent the several tests to see if I can donate and made my way out of clinic.

“That’d be all Y/N. I’ll just inform you and your in-laws if we ever find a match for you husband.” Dr. Sison said.

“Doctor, if I may ask, will it be possible that in the instance that I’ll be the match, everyone would never know that it was me who gave him the kidney?” I asked him.

I knew that if he found out that it was me who made the transplant possible, he’d owe his life to me and forget about the divorce.

Don’t take it the wrong way, I don’t want the divorce. Harry, on the other hand, already haas the idea in mind and I believe that he has his reasons as to why he wanted it. I don’t want him to force himself to loving me just because I technically saved his life.

I don’t want him to think that he still loves me just because he owes me his life.

“That’s totally possible, Y/N.”

**

It has been a week and still no news about the kidney compatibility.

I was on my way out of the house to go to the hospital when my phone suddenly rang.

“Hello?” I answered?

“Is this Mrs. Y/N Styles?” The person the other end answered.

“Speaking.” I said in an unsure tone.

“Mrs. Styles, this is Jona from Dr. Sison’s office. He wants to tell you that you are a match for your husband’s kidney transplant. If you can make your way to his clinic to talk about details, it’d be best.” She said.

I was stunned to know that I was a match. Who would’ve thought that we were meant to be in that sense. I thanked her and told her I’d stop by sometime today and hung up.

I left the house and made my way to Harry’s room with the donation in mind.

**

“Good morning, my wife.” Harry greeted me as soon as I entered. 

There goes that nickname again...

It was only 7am and Harry’s hospital breakfast has just arrived. He held both his arms up and wiggled his fingers to lure me beside him. I laughed at his childish actions and came closer to his bed, gave him a hug and a kiss on the temple.

“Good morning, my hub. How are you? Slept well?” I asked, putting down my stuff inside the drawer and prepared the food that I cooked at home. Anne and I knew how he felt about hospital food and since then, we’ve been sneaking in food for him to eat while keeping the hospital food to make it look like he ate it. Of course, we make sure that the food prepared were equally healthy for him to eat.

“No.” He said, pouting and crossing his arms in front of him. “You weren’t here with me.” I laughed at his remark. For one, he was so adorable. And two, I knew that he slept around with Stacy, so his remark was technically invalid.

“Alright Mr. Pouty Face, go eat your breakfast.” I said, opening the last container which contained the cubed fruits he asked for. After eating, I quickly packed up breakfast and made my way beside him.

“Love, I’ll just get my results from my doctor upstairs.” I told him.

“What results?” He asked, shock and curiosity evident on his face.

“Just… blood test. Mom heard the news and told me to get myself checked as well. You know mom, health freak.” I lied.

“Oh ok. At least we’ll know earlier.” He said, kissing me on the cheek. “Hurry ok? I’ll miss you too much.”

“Will do.” I said and made my way to Dr. Sison’s office.

**

“Mrs. Styles! Great to see you today.” Dr. Sison welcomed as soon as he entered his clinic. “We have your results and, congratulations! You’re a match for your husband’s kidney donation.”

He was so cheerful that I thought he “wanted” me to immediately give my kidney to him.

“What about Anne and Gemma? Any news on theirs?” I asked curiously.

“Unfortunately with Mrs. Anne Twist, her age will not be suitable for the transplant because she wouldn’t be able to properly cope with the surgery and recovery even though she is a match. Ms. Gemma Styles, on the other hand, was not a match..” He said, looking down at his files to be sure.

“So I’m his only hope?” I asked.

“Not exactly, if we wait for the donors’ list to move, we can find another match for Mr. Styles’s kidney.” He said.

“No, no. It’ll be best if I was the one who will give it.” He nodded and told me the procedure that I’ll undergo - blood tests, sugar level maintenance, etc.

“And I will make sure that it’ll be anonymous.” He ended.

I told him my decision to tell Gemma about it so that i there were any concerns, he can talk to her.

Flashback

“WHAT?” Gemma said, more like shouted, as soon as I told her about Stacy.

“And she was the one who called for an ambulance that day?” I nodded. “That bitch led Harry here. I’ll show her-” She said, ready to burst out the door and attack Stacy, but I stopped her.

“I signed up to be Harry’s kidney donor.” I told her. “And it’d be best that Harry doesn’t know.”

“He has every right to know about your plans Y/N! Your life is literally in danger. Not all donations come to a success.” She said. I sighed and led her back to the sofa to calm her down.

“I can’t believe how lucky my brother is to have you as his wife. To think that he has been seeing a bitch behind your back, but you’re still willing to risk your life for him.” She said.

“I love him, Gem. I can’t just sit back and watch him die like that. I know that he loved me at some point. He gave me a wonderful daughter and you guys. That’s enough for me.”

“Thank you, doctor.” I said. I shook his hand and exited his clinic.

That same day, around noon, Dr. Sison delivered the news that they found a match for his donation. Everyone was utterly happy, except Gemma. The look she gave me showed that she knew it was me. I don’t understand the confused state that she was on.

He is my husband. The least I can do is try my best to save him.

“The donation can be done as soon as the donor is given the go signal with his blood tests, tissue typings, and cross-matchings which will roughly be around sometime next week.” Dr. Sison explained.

The smile on Harry’s face was priceless. It was a mix of relief and eagerness. His grip on my hand got a little tighter as the news was delivered. I couldn’t stop the smile creeping on my face.

“Can I meet the donor? To thank him?” Harry asked and I stiffened. My eyes got wider and Dr. Sison smiled at me calmly and answered.

“I’m afraid the donor wants his identity to be anonymous. But I can pass the message if you’d like.” Dr. Sison answered smoothly. Harry looked defeated and told him to pass his gratitude.

“We respect that.” Anne answered. “We’ll just send a fruit basket and some flowers on the day of the surgery.”

“And tell him we’re willing to give him anything he needed in return.” Harry followed.

“That can be arranged.“ Dr. Sison said. We all thanked him as he left the hospital room. Everyone sighed in relief and congratulated Harry.

Everyone was happy.

I am happy.

**

It has been a week and the day of the operation finally came.

I lied to Harry the day before that I had an urgent meeting to attend to today so I couldn’t make it to the hospital. I told him that I asked Gemma to update me and that I’d be there as soon as I can.

My mom also flew in knowing about my, as she calls it, “act of heroism.” I told her everything that Gemma knows which angered her at some point. But since she had undergone the same situation with my dad (yes, my dad once had a ‘side chick’) she knew where I was coming from, saying “He is your husband. You married him because you love him and you made a vow that you’d be there ‘in good times and in bad.”

I got a private room a hallway away from Harry’s and wore the hospital gown. The nurses came in and connected me to my IV. It was 6:30am.

“Mrs. Styles, the surgery will start at 8:00am. Mr. Styles is already prepping and we are ready to prep you as well.” Jona, Dr. Sison’s assistant nurse said.

The time went by so fast. Before I knew it, it was already 7:45am.

“Are you sure about this?” My mom asked me one last time.

“Of course mom. I have no doubts in my body.” I answered as soon as Gemma came into my room. She greeted my mom and came beside my bed.

“Harry’s already under the meds.” She reported.

And with that, the meds came to action and I was unconscious.

**

Harry’s POV

All I could hear was the soft volume of the television. My eyes were still feeling heavy but it was lighter than earlier to the point that I can already open it.

Big mistake.

The light was too bright, which caused me to close them again.

“Harry?” I heard my name being called. I opened my eyes again, but this time slower, and found my mom and Gemma looking at me eagerly.

“Thank goodness you’re awake!” my mom said, hugging me. I smiled and returned her affection. “We were so worried that the kidney will not be compatible to your body. The doctor said your body will have a hard time to wake up if it didn’t.”

I looked around the room and found Y/N’s mother by the door.

“Mama Y/L/N! I didn’t know you flew in.” I said. Flashbacks of when I first met Y/N’s mom came to mind which made me smile, but realization hit and a frown replaced the smile.

“Where’s Y/N?” I asked, doing a double check around the room searching for my wife.

“She’s still at work.” Y/N’s mom answered. “That’s why she asked me to look after you first.”

I was about to answer when the door burst open quite loudly.

“Mrs. Y/L/N, Ms. Styles, Dr. Sison needs a word with you.” The nurse said.

“What’s happening?” My mom asked. I was also in confusion with what was happening. Gemma said that she’d explain everything later and followed the nurse, along with Y/M/N.

A lot of commotion was happening outside which made my heart race.

What if there was something wrong with the transplant? What if they gave me the wrong kidney?

These thoughts came to mind but was disturbed by Y/M/N’s loud cries. My mom have had enough and went out to see what the commotion was all about. It then took another few minutes before Gemma came in with mom holding Y/M/N’s in her arms.

“Gem, what’s happening?” I asked her, but she didn’t answer. “Y/M/N? Mom? What happened?” 

No one answered once more.

“What the actual fuck is happening?!” I asked again, but this time in a louder and stricter way.

I deserve to know what the hell was happening right now. It involves me and my body and even though it may be bad news about my upcoming death, then so be it.

Y/N was all Gemma said.

“What about Y/N?” I asked nervously. All I got were sobs and a few snort.

“Tell me! What happened to Y/N?!”

“She was the one who donated your kidney!” Gemma answered in a shouting manner. She paused and wiped the tears streaming down her face. “Her body’s not functioning well without the donated kidney. The- they are forced to put her in temporary comatose to help her body regain strength on its own. They don’t know when she’ll wake up.”

By that time, my whole world froze.

[hotcocosharing]

Lose To Win Chapter 21: Last Apology

Title: Lose To Win Chapter 21 Fandom: Kiss By The Baddest Bidder & Her Love In The Force Rated: Drama, Thriller, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Mystery? MPD’s OC: Mika HIJIKATA KBTBB’s OC: Mia SAKATA Characters: Goto, Kaga, Shuichi, Eisuke, Soryu, Mamoru, Baba, Ota

Summary: Soryu, Mika & Kaga had threesome, (click here to read) then one headed back to Eisuke while the other followed his target. Unpleasant surprises keep coming their ways till blood is spilled. Soryu’s shot and Kaga left him to bleed (to death, sort of)

Tagging: adrienneloves so you’d know what happens to Soryu and Mika. silver-red-rose & hifftn who’ve always been here for me :’( Thank you! I know this series is taking forever and if you’ve missed my feeds or simply want to know what happens next, let me know and I’ll tag you. Background: Mika went to the Tres Spades Hotel under Eisuke’s request. (Order) and led to seeing her ex- Hyogo Kaga. With Jin Namba’s persuasion, Eisuke agrees to work with Public Safety, going on an eight days cruise trip with Kaga, Goto and Mika. What kind of mystery and danger await? You have no idea!

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ Chapter 1: The Reunion Chapter 2: RSVP Chapter 3: Recharge Chapter 4: Welcome Back Chapter 5: Decision Of A Lifetime Chapter 6: Our Story Chapter 7: Stress Release Chapter 8: Play Thing Chapter 9: What The Three Words Mean Chapter 10: A Real Man Chapter 11: The CEO Chapter 12: Boarding Chapter 13: What Did You Wish For? Chapter 14: Don’t Tease Me Chapter 15: One Hell Of A Night Chapter 16: Feeling Lucky? Chapter 17: Left In The Past Chapter 18: Poker Face Chapter 19: To Victory Chapter 20: Wish Comes True

Chapter 21: Last Apology

Your steps are fast, heavy and furious through the narrowed corridor. It is easy to get to the location but not so much when you and Goto have to keep a poker face with all the security cameras and passengers around. Cursing Kaga in your head, you bloody hope whatever trouble is up ahead is something manageable for just you and Goto.

He exchanges a quick look with you before bursting open the door to the deck. You rush inside, one hand already reaching for the gun that’s strapped onto your inner thigh but your eyes widen at the sight of a dark figure sitting on the floor with his head down.

“Goto!”

The two of you run towards the corner and you’re soon greeted by a rare yet familiar smile. “I’m okay.”

You get down on one knee and press a hand onto Soryu’s wound, it must have been at least 5 minutes but he’s still bleeding. Goto begins asking the obvious, who did it, how it happened and where’s Kaga. You would have told him to stop, saves the talking for later but this is the best time to get answers in case there’s no later or whenever that maybe.

Every breath causes a new stab of pain to the mobster but he answers as much as he could. “He’s following someone, next there’s a bullet firing at us. He’s chasing after the shooter.” Soryu takes a deep breath and you press the palm of your hand firmly over the leaking wound in hope to make a difference. Stop! Stop! Just stop! You need the bleeding to stop and medic, he needs medical attention now. The heavy mixtures of emotion is overwhelming, your thought processes stops, blinded by fear, anger and pain.

Thankfully Goto has already put an arm around Soryu and helping him up in no time. The drunk act is all you’d afford and lucky enough the place has quiet down since breakfast session is over.

You’d hear the vague gasps and questions firing in every direction as soon as you set foot inside Eisuke’s suite, the king himself particularly demands you for answers that you are reluctant to share.

“Luke!!” Your half scream and half cry has shut everyone up but not for long as the peculiar doctor has wandered off somewhere else without his cell phone. “First aid kit!” You bark and see from the corner of your eyes that Mia has run off to get one, your sight never leaves the wounded man.

He shivers as you apply the disinfectant, too weak to give further reaction. He would have pumped himself up for an explanation, reassuring his friends that he’s fine but instead, he places a hand on your cheek and wipes away the tears that you don’t even notice. “I’m sorry.”

He murmurs weakly, “I am sorry for that night, no matter how mad…” His pauses take longer each time as he searches for the right words, eyes occasionally glancing sideways while Eisuke orders Baba and Mamoru to find Luke. “It shouldn’t happen, Mika. You said no and I should have stopped.”

Shaking your head repeatedly, you sob and wish that none of this is real. Taking a deep breath, Soryu moves his hand from your cheek and join yours on his wound. “I’m ashamed. I am not the man my grandfather teaches me to be, I….” It’s getting harder for him to speak, probably due to the loss of blood or the fact that he’s trying not to let his tears fall, or possibly both.

You watch as he mouths the last three words with his eyes closed, “Soryu!!! No, keep your eyes open! Don’t sleep, no, you can’t die!! Your hear me? Soryu Oh! You can’t die!!!”

The suite has only gotten louder, Samejima and Inui arguing in the background, Eisuke yelling on the phone but the only voice that has everyone’s attention is Ota.

“Mirana, get ready, you’ve got a patient coming in for surgery now!”

Eisuke’s World

Eisuke Ichinomiya shows tremendous leadership skills even at times like this, especially at time like this. Collected, calm yet demanding. Giving orders to his men while Mika Hijikata remains a mess. He has thought about defeating her of course, in his own cruel way but when the time has come, he realizes no black mailing or competing would ever break her the way she is now. Perhaps his friend would be relief, grateful even. Soryu is such a fool when it comes to her, the woman who deceives them and nearly cost them their friendship.

Eisuke could imagine the grin on Soryu’s face if he’s awake but the king quickly pushes the worthless image aside and concentrates back to his phone, bossing Mamoru and Baba to clean up the mess on the deck, waiting for the regular updates on Luke’s whereabouts from The Dragons while Ota and Mia are running around to turn the VIP suite into a temporary operating theatre.

His eyes however are fixed on his best friend’s dying body, ironically enough Eisuke finds no urge to smirk at Mika’s state. He would have if this was one of the stupid Public Safety and he couldn’t quite recognize the emotions he’s experiencing, he never likes having them since they are unnecessary. He would have done anything to get rid of feelings if he could, his time should be well spent on other pressing matters like checking the background of this British doctor who doesn’t seem too surprised at the situation, finding Luke, (God damnit, where is he?!) catching the son of a bitch who shot Soryu Oh, uncovering the truth- whatever that might be.

This is no ordinary cruise, he has no clue of what or who they are up against but the unidentified group must be huge, powerful enough to be well structured yet under the radar without Soryu or him knowing. Goto pulls up some files on the laptop and gestures Eisuke to walk over without tipping the others off, the female doctor looks clean on first glance.

No sudden income or off shore account, just one dedicated surgeon who has saved a lot of patients. A lot, more than it records on paper. Patients who were on the bottom of waiting list or got dropped due to funding during new drug’s trial. Patients who were supposed to be dead had somehow magically survived.

Eisuke begins having doubts, she is likely to be working for the mysterious group but is this part of their plan? Setting up the reckless captain and brings him down while expecting Ota to get Dr. Edwards involves so she could easily kill whoever’s lying on the table. It doesn’t matter who they shoot as long as it sends a message- they know, about the undercover, the investigation.

What worries Eisuke more is their identities, their hidden agendas, the auctions, just how MUCH do they know? Oh and how he hates being in the dark with absolutely ZERO control! This cruise is not to the King’s liking at all.

Eisuke shifts his gazes back and forth from the screen to the silhouettes in the middle of his suite, heartbeat raising at the split-second of his hesitation- gambling between Soryu’s life and their darkest secrets. Whoever has the most to lose, it would never be Eisuke Ichiomiya- the man who wins it all.

[greysfanpage388]

Amnesia part 2

Hey guys- this is the second part of the ‘Amnesia’ series.  I wrote this part long ago too, but it has been edited and proofread this time around ;)

Part 1 can be found here:

http://ailingnoor.tumblr.com/post/162816736156/amnesia-part-1

Again, thank you to the lovely @jia911 for helping me to proofread this!

p.s. Also this is for @toevenexist and @mediterraneansummer and anyone else who requested for a continuation ;)

Ever since he reached adulthood, Owen Hunt had always wanted to become a father. Unlike other men his age who were still sleeping with random girls- he was already looking out for the one- the right girl with whom he could settle down and start family. He was matured for his age- and it might be due to the fact that he lost his father at such a young age and was forced to take on the role of the man in his family after that.

For many years- he was on the search for the right woman for him. Sure - he dated many ladies- but they all ended up running away when he started discussing about being in a long term relationship- or told him straight up that they weren’t ready to be in a committed relationship with him. He was being turned down and disappointed many more times than he could recall.

Then came Cristina Yang. She was a force to be reckoned with, having so much energy, spark and passion for her job. She was smart, witty and passionate- everything Owen loved in a woman. There was only one issue-she simply didn’t want children. When she confessed to Owen about it - he thought that he could change her mind about children. He thought that once she laid eyes on their first child- her maternal hormones would take over and she would immediately fall in love with their bundle of joy.

But how wrong he was. It was just not meant to be.

Although he stayed by Cristina’s side when she aborted their baby- he was furious. Furious that she got rid of a new life which they had created together. Angry that she took away his dream of becoming a father. Most of all- he was livid that she didn’t even bother consulting him or asking his permission to abort the baby. The baby was his too! It just proved to him that he didn’t matter enough to her. If she really cared for him- she would’ve discussed it with him first and seeked his opinion before going ahead with the abortion.

After that- he stopped looking for the right woman. He didn’t think that he would ever find the right woman for him, the woman who could fulfill his dreams of becoming a father.

Then Amelia Shepherd came along, like a breath of fresh air. She was the woman of his dreams. She was fierce, loyal and passionate, and at the same time kind, loving and caring. The bonus? She loved kids too. He could see how great she was with the Shepherd children, and on more than one occasion even before they got married, he found himself dreaming of having kids with her one day.

____________________________________________________

Now standing in the completed nursery and staring at the crib which would accommodate their baby in 2 months time- he didn’t know how he got so lucky. His dream finally came true. He was finally going to be a father and he couldn’t wait to meet his daughter. He took a seat next to the crib and stared at it, imagining their baby lying in the crib one day.

He must have dozed off beside the crib for a few moments because he was rudely awoken by the sound of his phone ringing.

It was April. Oh no- was he late for his shift!

A quick glance at the nursery clock told him that he still had half an hour before his shift. Maybe April needed an extra pair of hands.

‘Hello?’ Owen answered.

’ Owen…you have to come to the hospital now.’ there was a sense of urgency in her voice.

’ Are you ok April? Lots of trauma coming in? I’ll be right there.’ said Owen as he exited the nursery.

’ No… It’s Amelia. She’s here now.’ April sounded like she was sobbing over the phone.

’ Yes- she drove off to work half an hour ago.’ Owen didn’t get why April sounded so frantic over the phone.

’ Owen… she has been in a car accident. Polytrauma… Please just come now.’ April finally regained her composure.

At April’s words, Owen dropped his phone. He felt his heart sink and his whole world spinning. It was like a rug had been pulled out from under him.

’ Hello? Hello?’ April’s voice could still be heard over the phone.

Owen drove as fast as he could to Grey Sloan Memorial, his mind racing. What happened to Amelia? Was she conscious? Is she….no she has to be alive!! How about their baby? He forgot to ask about the baby! _______________________________________________________________

He reached the hospital in record time. April whisked him immediately to Trauma room 4.

Owen’s heart sank as he saw Amelia, his Amelia lying pale and lifeless on the bed, intubated and connected to a ventilator, surrounded by monitoring machines. She looked unrecognisable , a pale shadow of her usually feisty self.

’ Amelia’ he whispered , approaching her bedside cautiously and grabbing one of her fingers.

’ Amelia- open your eyes please.’ he begged. ��� Please open your eyes for me.’

There was no response from her.

He let out an primal groan. ‘No, don’t leave me please Amelia!’ he cried out as the other doctors in the room looked on sympathetically. They wished they could help him.

His eyes travelled down to her now flat belly.

’ Where’s the baby?’ he asked April, his heart racing again. Surely the powers above couldn’t be that cruel to take his baby away from him too?

’ She’s in the NICU now.’ April replied softly.  Arizona had to do a crash C section just now to save both of them.. Alex is working on her. She’s stable at the moment- she’s in good hands. ’ she said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Owen felt like all his energy had been sapped out of him , due to mixed emotions of relief at hearing that his daughter was stable and horror of seeing his wife fighting for her life. Amelia couldn’t leave him alone with their little daughter. This was supposed to be a happy occasion, a day filled with joy and gratitude- the birth of their first child. And yet it was being marred with tragedy. This was certainly not how he envisioned the birth of their first child to be like. Amelia should be there, awake and smiling happily up at him, with the baby in her arms. But now he didn’t even know if she would ever wake up. Nobody knew.

Just then, Amelia started coding.

’ Her blood pressure is dropping. ’ April cried out.

’ She’s in Vfib!’ cried Bailey- who had been called down to the ER to assess Amelia for abdominal trauma. Get the crash cart ready- we need to defibrillate her!’

’ Everybody clear… 1..2..3… Charge!’ Bailey was now taking charge as the Chief of Surgery.

There was no response.

’ No.. No… Shepherd… You don’t get to do this to us!’ cried Bailey , as she charged the defibrillator again. ’ You’ve a husband and a beautiful new baby girl waiting for you- you don’t get to do this. ’

_______________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, Owen was now sitting in a trancelike state on the floor of the ER room, leaning against the wall, his knees drawn up to his chest. He had tuned out what was going on around him as the other doctors worked frantically to save his beloved wife’s life. He was still in a state of shock, he felt like he was in a horrible nightmare. Just that morning he was kissing his beautiful wife and feeling his baby kick, and now, his baby was in the NICU and his wife was fighting for her life. What a cruel twist of fate it was . What had he done to deserve this?

He didn’t hear Bailey yelling at Amelia to return back to them as she defibrillated the neurosurgeon a few more times. He didn’t hear the collective sigh of relief in the ER as the cardiac monitor finally showed sinus rhythm again. He didn’t hear Webber declaring that there was no intraabdominal bleeding from the bedside scan and they needed to proceed for a CT brain to rule out intracranial bleed.

He was still in a zombie like state when Amelia was being rushed into CT, and Meredith came to escort him to the CT room where Nelson and Stephanie were stationed behind the computer. What they were discussing was a blur to him.

He was jolted out of his trance when someone called his name.

’ Dr Hunt.’ Stephanie was now standing in front of him and with a sympathetic look in her eyes. Gosh, he hated how everyone in the hospital was now looking at him like that.

She continued as she didn’t get a reply from him.

’ We need your consent. The CT brain showed that Dr Shepherd has a huge intracranial bleed and we need to evacuate it as soon as possible.’

’ Just do it.’ Owen muttered. ’ Do whatever it takes to bring my wife back to me.’

Stephanie nodded silently as she escorted Owen to the waiting area outside OR2.

_______________________________________________________________

Owen was not a religious person, and he never prayed before. But now, sitting in the waiting room, his knees drawn up to his chest and leaning against the wall again, he prayed fervently. He prayed earnestly to God to bring his wife back to him. He prayed that Amelia would come back to him, he missed her so much. He would do anything just to see her dimpled smile again and hear her laughter again. He prayed for their new daughter, who didn’t have a name yet, to pull through in the NICU.

'God or whatever power above, if you’re listening- please don’t take my wife away from me. I need her, our daughter needs her mother.’ he cried out silently.

Just then, the tears came without warning. Before he knew it, he was sobbing fully, something which he never did before- not even when his father died or his sister went missing. He had been strong for too long and he needed to release all his pent up emotions.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and came face to face with Meredith Grey.

He continued sobbing, ignoring her as she took her seat on the floor beside him.

’ She’ll pull through.’ Meredith said softly but confidently. ’ She’s a Shepherd after all and Shepherds are strong headed. I know she’ll pull through.’ she repeated.

Owen finally looked at her, tears still rolling down his cheeks.

‘ She’s a fighter.’ Meredith added as she gave him an encouraging smile and patted his shoulder.

They both stood up immediately in anticipation as Stephanie entered the waiting room, still in her scrubs, sporting a relieved look on her face.

Meredith and Owen both stared at her wordlessly. As surgeons, they were used to informing family members of patients the outcome of surgeries, but it was totally different when they themselves were the family members.

Stephanie cleared her throat . ’ We’ve managed to evacuate the clot, she’s now being pushed to the ICU. Her vital signs are stable now, although she did code once on the operating table. You can go and see her soon.’ she said as the two surgeons standing in front of her heaved sighs of relief. ’But don’t get your hopes up yet, we still need to assess her nervous system functions when she wakes up.’ she added.

’ Thank you Edwards.’ Meredith said as she gave Stephanie an awkward hug.

_______________________________________________________________

For the next two days, Owen camped in the hospital, going back and forth between staying in Amelia’s room and visiting their daughter in the NICU. According to Alex, the baby girl was thriving, considering she was a premature baby and for that he was grateful. His new daughter looked exactly like Amelia. Now he just needed Amelia to wake up so that they could decide on a name for the baby. The baby needed her mother.

He hardly slept, showered or ate, spending most of his time either at Amelia’s bedside or beside their baby girl’s incubator.

He refused to go back for a quick shower or change of clothes when Arizona offered to stay longer in Amelia’s room to monitor her. He politely declined when Meredith or Maggie offered to take his place by Amelia’s bedside. He wanted to be there when she finally woke up.

_______________________________________________________________

It has already been more than two days since Amelia’s accident. They had extubated her the day before and she was due to wake up anytime soon. Owen refused to leave her bedside for even one minute.

He was dozing off on the lazy chair by her bedside when a sudden movement jolted him awake from his sleep.

He stared at Amelia’s lifeless form. He could swear he saw some movement just now. It couldn’t be another false alarm!

Suddenly Amelia’s blue eyes opened and she looked straight at him.

Owen’s heart leapt with joy as a stray tear rolled down his cheek. He thought he would never see those eyes again. The powers above have answered his prayers after all!

’ Amelia’ Owen whispered , his voice full of emotion as he gently took her hands in his. ’ You’re awake! Thank God. Please don’t do this to me ever again,you hear me? I need you, our daughter needs you.’

Amelia just stared at him, with a frightened and confused expression on her face.

'Our daughter?’ she croaked. ’ What are you talking about? Where am I?’

Owen’s heart sank to the bottom of his chest.

This is a combination of two prompts:

1) Prompt: Amelia has an accident while she is pregnant and forgets what she had with Owen. She remembers the time when she broke off her engagement and joined Grey Sloan. And she also doesn’t know that Derek is dead and whose kid she is pregnant with and all the in betweens.

2) About Owen’s feelings after Cristina aborted their baby.  

As usual- comments, reblogs, messages and reviews are very much appreciated. I want to know what you guys think! :). 

p.s. Part 3 has yet to be written- so it wouldn’t be up that soon...

[your-modern-shakespeare]

Letters to You (4)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Summary: You and Sam are Pen pals. You’ve been writing to each other for the past three years when something changes, and you may end up closer than you’ve ever been before.

Pairing: Domestic!Sam/Doctor!Sam x Reader

Word Count: 1975

A/N: So as you know this started out as a play for my play writing class, but the funny thing is this chapter is actually where the play ended (My class hated me). Dut don’t worry there will be one more part and an epilogue after this. I hope you guys have enjoyed and watch out for a post later today. I have an idea that I would love to have some feedback on

Warnings: Protective!Dean (?), ANGST (I’m so sorry guys)

Tags: @fangirl1802​

SAM’S POV

I have been back in New York now for a little over three weeks and Y/N and I talk everyday, being in the same time zone makes things so much easier. I work really long hours at the hospital but somehow we always make time to talk or at least text. But I don’t know where to go from here. What we have now is great and I love talking to her but does she want more, do I want more? We’ve been doing this for so long that I couldn’t imagine losing her but...there had to be more, right?

One thing that worried me was that she hadn’t brought up the Skype date that failed, but now I was nervous to ask her about it. Ever since I’ve gotten back, I’ve tried to get the nerve to ask her again but something always comes up. Like I have to go back to a patient, or she has to run off to class. I mean, what if she doesn’t want to meet me anymore, what if we never do?

So I took my lunch break and met Dean for a burger and maybe I would get some brotherly advice

“Sammy.” He walked over to the table and I stood up to give him a brief hug.

“Dean.”

“Mom wants to see you.”

“Yeah, she keeps calling. But as I told her, I will come when I get a day off, the first chance I get.”

“I told her that too, she’s just happy that you’re back.”

“Believe me, I am too.”

We took a second to order our drinks and our meals and then he asked the question I just knew he was going to ask.

“So how’s the girlfriend?” I rolled my eyes.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Mom says differently.”

“What do you say?”

“I think you’re being a chicken.”

“A chicken?”

“Yes. You’re finally back home and you still haven’t asked Y/N out. That’s called being a chicken.”

“I was supposed to meet her.”

“And you didn’t go?”

“No, um, it was supposed to be a skype date but the riots happened and protestors were hurt, so I couldn’t get off.”

“So what you didn’t try again?”

“We kinda just never brought it up again?”

He sat back in his chair and just stared at me.

“What?” I asked.

“I was just waiting to see if you could get any stupider.”

“You're crazy and I'm not being stupid. I just don't want to lose her if I'm not what she expects.”

“You won't know that unless you go and meet her.”

“You're not completely wrong. But how do I ask her to meet without sounding weird.”

“Um ‘Hey Y/N we've been in love for three years and all we've done is talk. Let's meet and do a little less talking.’”

“Dean!”

“I don't know, Sam. I don't know her like you do, but you can't just sit here in you doctor coat and wait for the opportunity, you've got to take it.”

“Doctor coat?”

I heard my pager go off and I grabbed it off my belt.

“Sorry I have to go.”

I stood up and grabbed my jacket.

“What about your food?”

“Eat it.” I reached into my pocket and threw some money on the table.

“I don't eat salad.”

“Then put it in a box and take it to my apartment.”

I literally ran out of the restaurant and down the street to the hospital.

The ambulance pulled up as I made it to the doors. The EMTs started explaining what happened, but as we moved we were still trying to prep her for surgery. Apparently she had been so close to the hospital that they didn't even have enough time to do everything they needed before they got here. So I did the only thing that I could do.

We needed to get her into surgery and she was crashing a lot faster than she should have, so I climbed on top of her and performed CPR all the way to an empty operating room.

It was a long operation but a successful one, at least for now. Getting her on the table, I could see just how bad it was and all I had to say...whoever that was was incredibly lucky. It’s not everyday that a person with a wreck as bad as the EMTs described, make it out alive. That girl would have a long ways to go before she would be okay again, but she was alive and that’s what mattered.

She had been hit by a drunk driver, he died instantly and she was in really bad shape. I fought for her longer than I should have, longer than anyone expected and somehow she pulled through. She didn’t deserve to die from that, which is probably why I was so relieved when I got her stable, she was fighting with me.

Once I got out of surgery they wheeled her to a recovery room and the nurses went to find out anything they could about the girl, making sure that the family had been notified. But throughout the day I kept thinking about her. I had no idea who she was or what she had been doing to unfortunately put her in the path of this drunk driver, but I think she caused an epiphany.

I thought of Y/N, because to be honest it seemed something straight out of an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I thought of everything that I had come to love about Y/N and why I had wrote love at the end of our letters. I thought about her voice and how beautiful it sounded saying my name. I thought about meeting her and I dreamed about finally putting a face to the voice. And this girl made me realize that life was too short and too unexpected to hide from the love of my life.

So the second I got a break I called Y/N. I was all nerves as the phone rang and unfortunately… she didn’t answer. I looked at the time and reminded myself that it was much later than I thought, way past any time that she would be awake. So I left her a text:

Sam: Hey when you can, give me call?

I waited until the next morning but never received a message back from her. So I sent her another:

Sam: Did I do something wrong?

I waited until after my shift and still no response. So I gave her another call, only for it to go straight to voicemail.

So, over the next week,  I reread all of the letters she sent, every text, seeing if I had done something wrong, I had even called her at her work to no response. I didn’t know what to do at that point.

So I went on with work and I tried to keep my mind off of Y/N, but honestly not knowing what happened at the least put me in a foul mood.

I had my day off and instead of going to see my mother like I had promised, I hid in my apartment and watched TV all day. When I ignored there calls that resulted in a visit from Dean. I sat there as he lectured me about ignoring them, but my mind was a million miles away.

“Man are you listening to me?”

“I’m fine, I’m just not really in the mood for this right now.”

“Well I’m not in the mood to do this but mom thinks you’re dead so…”

“She’s been ignoring me.”

“Mom?”

“Y/N.” When he heard that he came to sit on the couch next to me.

“Ignoring you?”

“It’s been over a week.”

“You haven’t heard anything from her?”

“No.”

“Then she doesn’t deserve you.” He stood up and headed to the kitchen for a beer.

“I tried—”

“Sam, you two have been talking for three years. If she’s going to stop things now then she’s just a jerk who wanted to mess with you.” He handed me a beer and sat back down next to me.

“Don’t say that.”

“I’ll say what I want. I just want what’s best for you.”

“Maybe she has a reason.”

“It would have to be a pretty good reason.”

“I was calling to ask her out.”

“What?”

“The first time I called, after that big surgery I had, I called Y/N because I was ready to meet her.” He looked at me and took a second to come up with what to say.

“Can I take back what I said earlier?”

“What?”

“I want what’s best for you, but...Y/N, you love her. So don’t stop until you have nowhere to go.”

“Thanks Dean.”

“How about tomorrow, when you get off work, we’ll swing by the return address on the letters, see what’s going on.”

“Yeah.”

“Then I will leave you to, whatever...I should let mom know that you’re alive.”

“I’ll call her.”

“Good. Text me when you’re getting off.”

“I will.”

I showed Dean out, called my mom and went to bed feeling a lot better than I had before.

The following morning I went to work, making sure to grab a letter so that we could find her apartment and for the first time in a week and a half I was feeling hopeful.

For some reason, New York and trauma seemed to go together perfectly, which caused for a pretty hectic day. I was headed to the break room for my lunch break when a nurse stopped me.

“Dr. Winchester?” I turned around to look at her, she had something in her hands.

“Yes?”

“This is going to sound weird but um, a woman in recovery handed this to me. Her daughter was in that car accident, you saved her, but she was going through her belongings and asked me to send this letter. But it has your name on it.”

“Thank you.”

She handed me the letter and went back to work. It was from Y/N. I stared at it and finally got the nerve to open it. I read what she had to say and gaped at her words and then I remembered what the nurse had said.

I rushed to recovery and to the room she later pointed out to me. I knocked on the door, to no response, and walked in. I walked up to the bed, seeing the woman looking just as bad as she had been when they brought her in. I grabbed the chart off her bed and read through it carefully, making sure that I was seeing this right.

Y/L/N comma Y/F/N. 28 years old. Trauma patient. Arrival dated a week and a half ago, current status...comatose.

I couldn’t even stomach the pain I felt at those words. I just stared at her wishing this was all a dream. I had had her on my table, fighting for her life, and I didn’t even realize it. She was here and I was too blind to see it.

I walked closer to her and grabbed her hand in mine. I mean she was here and for the first time I felt...whole, complete. And yet at the same time, she was in a coma and unaware that I was right next to her.

I had never thought that this would be the way I would meet her, I just think about all of the things that I had to do just to make sure that she would live and I…

I took in a deep breath, hoping to steady my emotions and looked at the letter on more time.

Dear Sam,

I love you. Can we meet?

Love, Y/N

PART FIVE

[dancetools-blog1]

5 Weeks Post-Op

Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted! So let’s take this in order, shall we?

PRE OP I regained full ROM, I was able to walk pretty much normally again and PT was kind of fun - who knew all the wonderful things you can do with a BOSU!

THE SURGERY Right, so I was actually terrified of the surgery. My eyes were just tearing all the way down to the OP - like not emotional crying, just non-stop tears. Being put under felt strange, and it probably would have been scary but the oxygen they gave me through that mask was like a drug. One second I was snotty and crying, the next as they put the oxygen mask on my face I was clear-headed and snot-free. It was like being high. The anaesthetic kicked in much slower than I was expecting and limb by limb it felt like my body was being pulled down towards the earth like lead. Such a strange sensation. I woke up expecting to have zero pain, but the pain was actually a strong 7/10 as I woke up. I was shouting for painkillers immediately and they gave me 5 different pills and injections but when after an hour they still weren’t helping they finally decided to give me opium (and I am really not a sissy when it comes to pain AT ALL but let me tell you, you don’t know the pain that comes from someone drilling holes into your bones until you’ve had it). The opium worked and I remember little from that day. People visited, my boyfriend was there all day but it’s all very cloudy. The one thing I do remember is that I tried my hardest to stay awake for visitors, and when my boyfriend said “come on Sarah, get some sleep, you look exhausted” I was out like a light from one second to the other. The rest of the hospital experience involved a lot of painkillers, some wonderful bed pan experiences that have rid me of all my dignity in front of both the nurses and my boyfriend who was literally there all day helping me through the whole thing (thank you so much, it would have been so much worse without you there!), and getting a drainage tube pulled from my knee in full consciousness - let me tell you, getting a solid plastic object pulled through what is essentially a gigantic bruise is the opposite of fun. Also, I wish someone had told me what a task it is to wash yourself when you can’t stand and mustn’t get your knee wet. BUT I survived all 4 days of being hospitalised and they sent me home with some painkillers and the ability to bend to 90 degrees.

POST OP So immediately after the surgery, your body needs to recover from having had full anaesthesia. This involves everything waking up again, including your digestive tract. This took my body 6 days and some help. Let that be enough said. Another thing that needs to wake up is the area surrounding the knee where they made incisions and poked around in your knee, including the 2 (not 1 as planned, apparently my tendons are super thin and stretchy yay) hamstring tendons they took out to replace the ACL with. I was expecting pain in the knee, but somehow did not prepare myself for the fact that getting tendons snapped off the back of your leg clearly will also be painful. When everything else had stopped hurting, I still couldn’t sit down properly. There was also some painful, hard bruises but with regular massaging they went away pretty quickly. The strangest experience was the fact that my muscles didn’t react the way I was used to for a while after the surgery. Laying on my front and trying to bend my leg was literally impossible, as was lifting my leg to the front when sitting down. All that comes back, but it’s a scary experience.

I wasn’t allowed to bear weight on my leg until they removed the stitches 14 days after the surgery, and then could only to pilates exercises for another 2 weeks. In 4 weeks, you lose A LOT of muscle. My left thigh is concave and I am working hard on building muscle now. In these 5 weeks post op I have achieved: - walking without crutches almost normally again - being allowed in water again with my whole body - technically only allowed to bend to 90 degrees but my physiotherapist is pushing it in passive bend and it easily bends to 110 degrees with no pain or discomfort already - have regained full extension and am working on hyperextension - roughly an inch missing compared to my healthy leg - swelling has nearly disappeared completely - allowed to do resistance training again (went up from 20kg to 45kg on the leg press in the past week) - can do floor barre as long as I don’t bend further than 90 degrees (yay!) 

All that is actually pretty amazing and quick, my PT tells me I’m doing very well. Still I have recently had a few rough days where I couldn’t get myself to do any more than lie on the sofa and mope around. It has been 3 months (since I injured myself) without dancing now, longer than I’ve spent not dancing in over 10 years, and I really really really miss it. More than you can imagine (unless you’ve been stuck in a similar situation). Before that it was really easy to stay positive and motivated, all the above achievements that are very apparent and easy to track give you lots of energy. But, of course, at some point progress slows down and suddenly you’re reminded of all the things you can’t do and won’t be able or allowed to do for a while. It has become very clear that this journey will be a rollercoaster ride and that it lies solely in my own hands how hard or easy it will be. I have picked myself back up now, I have a singing lesson and a few acting workshops to look forward to this weekend that keep me going and I have a job tutoring kids a few days a week which gives my days at least some purpose outside of PT. And other than that, my days are a lot of binge-watching Netflix, reading and going to the gym. One week from today I have a first check-up with the surgeon who repaired my knee and I’m excited to see what he says!