#hurt people will hurt other people

[gutsberserkson]

The true source of the conflicts in Code Geass. Spoiler Warning!

The source of most, if not all, of the central conflicts in Code Geass come from bad parents, with particular emphasis on bad fathers. alicent-vi-britannia goes into immense detail on this in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/alicent-vi-britannia/702115702749970432/lelouch-and-suzakus-childhood-traumas-explained?source=share

I'll try to summarize it as best as I can: Genbu Kururugi, Suzaku's father, was likely a strict father who never bothered to assure Suzaku that he didn't need to be perfect, that he was only human, and that he would always need to grow as a person. That, and his pride in fighting Britannia, despite knowing he couldn't win, mattered more to him than the people he dedicated himself to protecting and serving. This is the impetus for Suzaku killing his father, and the source of a lot of his trauma. The reason Suzaku is so obsessed with changing Britannia from within, no matter how impractical it seems to Lelouch and those of us who side with Lelouch, comes from this traumatic experience. If Suzaku can accomplish this task, he can prove himself, if not perfect, then at least better than his father. Every time his idealism is questioned or brutally crushed, he doubles down, because he's a prisoner of his own trauma and guilt.

The same can also be said of Lelouch. Just as Suzaku is obsessed with changing Britannia from within, Lelouch wants to watch Britannia burn. More than that, he wants to be the one who lights the match. In taking care of his little sister Nunnally, now blind and crippled, he can prove that a "weakling" like her has a place in the world as much as anyone else. And in creating a better world by dismantling the empire by force and war, he can simultaneously live up to the Britannian ideals of "All men are not created equal" by showing his will is stronger than the empire, therefore proving his vision of the world deserves to exist more than Britannia, and, metaphorically speaking, spit in his father's face. The paradox, however, is that, in order to achieve this, Lelouch makes himself a cold, calculated genius who closes his heart out of fear that if he opens himself up, he'll be hurt again. This behavior, as seen when he finally confronts Emperor Charles near the climax of the series, is similar to Charles' own, and in fact the impetus for the Ragnarok Connection plan. In trying to undo Emperor Charles and the empire, Lelouch makes himself behave a lot like his father, which isn't helped by his mental state when Euphemia and then Shirley die, then when the Black Knights (sans Kallen) betray him, then when Rolo dies to save him.

In summary, the reason the world of Code Geass is so horribly screwed up is because of horrible fathers not loving their children. Lelouch and Suzaku are prisoners of their trauma. Their self-hatred, and their desire to overcome their fathers, is what lies at the core of their actions. They both deserve love. Yes, Suzaku too, no matter how stupid or selfish you might think he is when compared to Lelouch.

[zanmor]

We are well beyond canary in the coalmine warning levels with the way trans people and particularly trans women are treated on this site.

Maybe you've heard the metaphor of allowing wolves and sheep to share the same space, welcoming everyone. You end up with just wolves because allowing them in that space makes it unsafe for any sheep. Or the story about how a nazi goes into a dive bar and is refused service. The bartender then explains to someone else at the bar that if you serve them once they tell their friends and before you know it you're the nazi bar they all go to and normal customers don't feel safe.

Terfs and other bigots are seeing these targeted harassment campaigns succeed against trans women and rejoicing. They see Tumblr ban them and officially stand by those decisions as endorsement for their harassment. It's a sign to bigots across the internet that Tumblr is a good place for them.

And what's more is that a lot of us probably don't realize just how much trans women contribute to Tumblr. The women banned recently were sources of site-wide memes and posts I wasn't even aware originated from them.any years old memes and references can be traced back to trans women on this site.

How many of these folks have to be removed before this is no longer a site you want to be a part of it? Sure you cultivate your own experience, but you can't follow or interact with people who aren't here. And if I wanted to interact with the nazis and terfs I'd go to reddit.

I encourage everyone to reblog this. Trans women shouldn't have to be the only ones speaking out against the bigotry they're experiencing. They shouldn't be the only ones risking their blogs being nuked by staff. We have to stand with them.

[cronchy-baguette]

When all this is over, will you stay with me? For good?

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[ancient-reverie]

a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.

shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.

I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Vanny 🤝 TADC Pomni: being bullied by a rabbit

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[thechekhov]

👌Content™

[obsob]

love is stored in the parallel play

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[bunnieswithknives]

Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.

[kathaynesart]

And now watch it all fall apart.

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Thank you everyone for your patience as I recuperate from Covid. I tested negative and am now just recuperating from the lasting effects. Honestly, this update is one I probably could have skipped, but I love me a good heist plan. Plus I just wanted to have some fun with this holiday special and if that means extending it a bit longer, then so be it.

[maddie-grove]

It really is amazing that people think there had to be some kind of unusual explanation for the Salem Witch Trials (like ergot poisoning or, even worse, actual witchcraft) when the Satanic Panic happened in the last quarter of the twentieth century.

[yuwuta]

yuuji’s the friend that’s ridiculously affectionate, but he’s that way with everyone he’s close to, so it’s easy not to pay it any attention. he drapes his arm and his entire body weight across megumi’s shoulders, he plays with megumi’s fingers when he’s bored, lays his head in nobara’s lap while they gossip, on a good day, he can even be found brushing and braiding her hair—yuuji’s even twirled gojo around in a hug on more than one occasion, so it’s nothing out of the ordinary. except, he seems to have a thing for just picking you up. when he’s trying to get by in the cramped kitchen, instead of squeezing behind you, he often puts his hands on your hips, lifts you and swivels and places you right back on your feet before fetching cereal from the cabinet like it’s no big deal. you’re one to fall asleep on the couch, but yuuji’s one to lift you up bridal style and carry you back to your room—or over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry when you’re drunk and want to fight back and insist that you’re sober. there’s a puddle on the ground and instead of helping you hop to the other side, he just wraps his arm around your waist and carries you while he jumps across, puts you down, and continues on walking. you get good news and yuuji’s the first to pick you up and throw you up and down like you weigh nothing to him, like you’re a kid and he’s your trampoline… he’s so casual with all his affection, you know it’s second nature to him, but that doesn’t make it easier for your brain to short circuit in those moments… makes you stop to wonder if he’s that strong unintentionally and attractive without thought, then what can he do when he’s trying… 

[alpacacare-archive]

the brainworms are kiiling me. have a dad and son 👍︎

[nellasbookplanet]

I do think that referring to Essek as irredeemable for regretting his actions only because he was caught and risked losing his friends is both kind of reductive to him as a character and a misunderstanding of the concept of redemption arcs in media.

A person generally isn't changed because you sit them down and hand them a bunch of political theory to read. They change because their circumstances and relationships do. It's like that guy who was deradicalized because he got a bunch of shrimp and started to care for them. It’s our relationships that change us, because they give us not a logical but an emotional reason to do so.

Caleb explicitly says "these people will change you" (or something along that line; I don’t remember the exact quote). Essek, before the m9, didn’t genuinely care about anyone. The people who would die if a war started because of his actions were irrelevant and abstract to him. Caleb, similarly, also started c2 not really caring about others. He had no interest in taking on Ikithon or the Assembly to save others from going through what he did, too preoccupied with his own trauma and his own goals to care. In that sense, he started the campaign in a similar place as Essek post ep. 97: regretful, but too busy wallowing in his own self-loathing to productively do anything to prevent future harm due to his previous actions.

Being with the m9, being reminded of the importance of other people and realizing that they’re capable of caring for them, is what changes Caleb and Essek both. Of course Essek starts out more concerned with losing the nein than with strangers killed in a war. They’re his starting step, the opening through which he realizes that the people hurt by his actions are real, that he cares, that he has the ability to, if not undo his harm, help stop furthering of it.