#huge batman

[projectbatman193]

A huge ass Batman with a day job? That could be me 😍😍

I'm 6'4 and not 6'6, but in costume I'd be slightly over 6'7, and I'm also heavier at 275lbs, but honestly a guy as big as that drawing would weigh much more than that, but still, it's a huge Batman with a day job! Lol

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

After some very eventful weeks of Jason’s debut as the Red Hood he takes a well deserved night off and decides to crash in one of his safe houses.

He did not count on one of the Bats finding him there.

So to keep his plans from being torpedoed entirely Jason goes with the split second decision of pretending he was held captive by the Red Hood.

[malenjoyer]

#1 gotham yaoi

[monkesupreme]

dense, neutron star of a man. His weight fluctuates based off of the amount of sun hes been exposed to, and the amount of water ingested, so a very healthy kryptonian easily weighs around 350-400 lbs/ 158-181 kgs. Martha quickly traded in her lawn chairs for sturdy, solid wood, rocking chairs for the front porch as he got older, but Clark seems to be drawn to the flimsy lawn chairs like a moth to a flame.

(Hes prone to shouting for his Ma or Pa when hes scared awake, old habit hes never broke out of lol)

Bonus: a regular day for Bruce

[astorianyxkings]

There's always people theorizing how the Batfamily hides Jason disappearance and reappearance, but I literally haven't seen anyone use the best explanation: Witness Protection.

Like this literally answers every question. The Death Certificate? They had to fake his death. The empty grave? Obviously it had to be believable. The time when Wayne Heir "Richie Wayne" refused to step foot in Gotham and talk to his father? He was pissed about Jason's (non) death. Brucie Wayne's very real depression after his death? Well he lost contact with his son and he was under immense stress from the government.

Like this literally answers every question I can come up with. Why has no one said he was in witness protection? And if people have done it, send me fics and prompts because I'm obsessed.

And the best part is, the Waynes are so stupidly rich that they could pull it off. Lex Luther could try and conduct his own investigation but somehow he can never find anything concrete. And if he gets too close either Babs hacks them or Tim just calls up Conner for a distraction.

One time Jason gets cornered and asked how he felt about returning to his life after being in Witness Protection. Unfortunately, him and Bruce weren't on the best terms to explain the whole story but he comes in clutch. He spins the tale about how heartbroken he was to see his brother, father and grandfather grieving and how honored he was when he learnt his new little brother idolized him. Tim got ahold of a copy of the interview and will never let Jason live it down.

The media doesn't ask Bruce questions about Jason's death because last time they did he broke down and a suddenly furious reporter chastised them and reminded them that while Jason may be alive Bruce still mourned his death. The picture of Bruce in tears at the interview is currently one of Jason's favourite lockscreens.

Same goes for Dick. Any questions of his brother's death results in (1) Richie Wayne ready to throw hands at any and everybody, (2) his wife (well one of them) Barbara Gordon threatening the reporters or (3) That same Metropolis reporter chastising the whole community again.

[frownyalfred]

Batfamily shenanigans don’t go far enough into hilarious sibling territory. Give me a scene where Dick has a leg cramp and is trying to stretch it out, and Jason just walks up and punches him right in the leg.

It works, but it hurts like hell. ✨Helpful sibling behavior ✨

[dickgreyson]

Bye, everybody! That was a blast! Again next week?

Batman | Superman World's Finest Art: Dan Mora

[batboopp]

bruce wayne they could never make me hate you. they could also never make me like you either. good god you are fucked up

[kartsie]

Sometimes everyone dusts off or throws together their Robin costume for a hijinks filled patrol

((Yes I’m behind but it’s been a rough week))

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

That one time when your crush showed their full physical body (normally looks like a vague human(?)looking blob and void of darkness) and your ass was NOT ready for the reveal

@frownyalfred

[fantastic-nonsense]

one of my favorite headcanons is that the people of Gotham originally thought Batman was an urban legend not just because Bruce was good at sneaking around and pretending to be a shadow in the night early on, but also because they live in an insanely cursed city, heard "shadowed wraith beats up criminals and leaves them for the police to find," and went "yeah that tracks. it's Gotham, ghosts fighting crime is totally believable"

[everwalldigan]

Dick, on the phone with Roy: I just think that Bruce actually hates me and doesn’t stand to be around me ever

Bruce, standing behind him wearing nightwing socks, nightwing cap, nightwing pants, “father to worlds best son” t-shirt, trying to hide a huge reprint of a picture of him and Dick he brought for Dicks new apartment behind his back:

[phoenixyfriend]

I know that "Batman is Bruce Wayne's secret husband" is a popular Gotham Theory in fanon but do you think there's room for "Batman is Bruce's illegitimate half-brother that he's bankrolling out of love and/or guilt about Thomas not acknowledging him"

(Spread mostly by people who don't want to believe the Waynes were good people, or just think Thomas had some slutty college days and didn't know that half-bro Bat existed)

[bbbbbbbbatman]

superbat batfam identity porn shenanigans

Bruce and Clark know each other's identities, but the rest of the batfam does not know that Clark Kent is Superman.

The kids are trying to set their dad up on a date and Tim is like "well he obviously has a thing for that reporter, Clark Kent, we should start with him"

And Dick gets real upset bc "what are you talking about, he's obviously in love with superman!"

Damian, "Father does not have feelings for the alien!"

Jason, "Hate to break it to you, brat, but he's had a thing for the alien for years"

Cass, "but he is always so happy to see Clark at events"

Long story short, attempts at setting them up devolve into an all out war between the batfam about who Bruce should end up with, and thus commences the increasingly insane shenanigans to set Bruce up with Clark (Superman) or Superman (Clark)

Team Clark: Tim (he's a top notch reporter who loves to write about injustice and he's a more feasible option than Superman), Damian (he seems weak and bumbling but is a better choice than the alien), Cass (he was very nice when he spoke to her at a recent gala), Duke (Bruce clearly favors Clark to other reporters and even requests him specifically), Diana (was recruited by Tim, knows Superman's identity, but thinks this is hilarious)

Team Superman: Dick (superfan, absolutely wants Superman as his stepdad, and have you seen the way they look at each other?), Jason (I don't care about Bruce's love life (liar) but you'd have to be blind not to see that they're in love), Steph (why settle for a boring reporter when you could have Superman, have you seen his muscles?), Kate (got dragged in, thinks it would be funny if Mr. No Metas In Gotham ended up dating a meta)

(Alfred won't take sides bc he knows)

Bruce knows what's going on and on one hand is trying to figure out the best way to ask Clark to reveal his identity to his kids without telling him why so they stop and on the other hand isn't sure if a united front would be better or worse than a competition

Clark is oblivious, he's just happy to be spending all this extra time with Bruce

[frownyalfred]

For superbat: who would propose first?

Alfred. Kind of like an old fashioned Jewish matchmaker. He'd call up Ma Kent and they'd agree terms and then they'd let Bruce and Clark know.