#hp character study

[potterblog]

This fic is so amazing! <3 One of my top favorites of all-time!

I came back just to post this here so I could tag @ala-baguette 🥹 Knowing Where To Look is officially complete and if you haven’t read it yet you should. It’s post war, and Gawain Robards is our main man. This fic is so unlike anything else I’ve read and i just love it so much. Seeing Mary as an adult just made my heart so happy but also hurt so much. Just please do yourself a favor and read this. You won’t regret it.

[dinarosie]

Beyond the Grudges:

You know, Snaters and some of Marauder stans spend all their time on fanfics, posts, and TikToks, obsessively trying to prove just how petty, hateful, greasy, and unforgiving they think Severus Snape is. They paint him as if he’s some monstrous lost cause, stuck forever in bitterness. But when I read the books, I see something different.

I see a Severus Snape who, upon realizing his ex best friend’s life is in danger, turns his back on the most powerful Dark wizard alive and risks everything to save that life. (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) I see a 20-year-old Snape willing to trade it all his future, his safety to protect James Potter and his family. Yes, James Potter, the guy who humiliated him since childhood. Snape does this not out of Obligation or compulsion, but because he knows it’s the right thing to do. (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) I see Snape, carefully and almost respectfully, carrying Sirius Black a man he believes to be the most twisted murderer alive on a stretcher, offering him the basic human decency that everyone deserves, even though he’s convinced this is the same man who betrayed Lily and caused her death. (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) I see a Severus Snape who, to save Remus Lupin, uses his own cursed spell against himself, ready to throw away his life and eighteen years of spying in a heartbeat to make sure Remus survives. (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

This is the man Severus Snape really was: flawed, yes, but committed to preserving lives and human dignity even if they were his long-time bullies, even if they were werewolves who came close to killing him, even if it meant sacrificing his own life.

Yes, this is why I call him a hero—a brave and selfless hero.

[motherfuckingmaneater]

Book Bellatrix is (part one):

Very tall. Taller than all three of the trio according to Harry when Hermione uses polyjuice to turn into her.

Quick. She’s able to stun four snatchers at once even when they’re in an uproar against her. They all ‘fell where they stood’ suggesting they didn’t even have time to stop her. Greyback is also restricted before he can even try to stop her and bound and kneeling at her feet.

Still very attractive after Azkaban again according to Harry despite that she makes his stomach lurch every time he looks at her.

Has ‘very long rippling black hair’ that’s not curly. It’s still rippling but now it’s become slightly coarse rather than silken and shiny like it was before Azkaban.

Bloodthirstier. She interrogates Griphook and when she’s satisfied with his answer she casually flicks her wand to cut him deep in the face then doesn’t even look back at him as he falls to his knees and screams in agony.

Thin. Not gaunt looking like she was right after her release from Azkaban but that’s part of why she’s so intimidating. She’s tall and thin.

Violent. She hit Ron across the face (just to get him to shut up) so hard his mouth was filled with blood and the sound was so loud it echoed around the room. She’s so violent it seems second nature.

Low (almost sultry) and disdainful in her baritone / voice. I always read her lines in Angelina’s Maleficent voice.

Not thin lipped! Just puts her lips into a line or purses her lips from time to time.

Feared and revered even amongst the goblins of gringots who ‘do not get involved in wizarding issues’.

Has an outright ‘malevolent aura’. So much so she’s never questioned or affronted. All along Diagon alley people were quickly stealing away from her to hide, too terrified of her to stick around.

Known to be closest to Voldemort even in public and non-pureblood circles.

Terrifying. She’s described as ‘frightening, mad’ when she’s screaming orders — so much so even her own sister who had been reluctant to do as she wants does so anyway. Even Fenrir Greyback is scared of her. When she finally releases him he ‘appeared too weary to approach her’ and would rather ‘prowl behind an armchair’ than get too close to Bellatrix.

Physically strong. Certainly strong enough to drag Hermione by her hair into the middle of the room. Strong enough to throw off Lucius’ attempt to grasp her and capture him herself in her grasp.

Ruthless. ‘If she dies under questioning, I’ll take you next. Blood traitor is next to mudblood in my book.’ Something she tells Ron after she’s hit him. She’s also incredibly calm when she’s being violent or hurting people. She doesn’t think twice on it.

A natural leader. She takes charge in most situations. She gives orders easily and she doesn’t care who she’s giving them to. She tells Draco to ‘move this scum outside. If you haven’t got the guts to finish them then leave them in the courtyard for me.’ When indicating to the snatchers she left unconscious.

[yallthemwitches]

Some thoughts on Lily Evans (Headcanons and other musings)

Headcanon things

---I think she really struggled internally about "not belonging" in both the muggle and wizard community. I couldn't imagine finding out I was part of some special group that made my family members ostracize me, THEN joining said new community to find that I am actually discriminated against and considered lesser. I don't think she was on the nerd level of say Hermione, but I think she really wanted to prove herself.

--I don't think she wore a bra. I use this in my fics a lot not just because it could be taken sexy, but because it would've been trendy at the time in the 70s. I think Lily would have kept up with the politics of the muggles and the wizarding world, and I would imagine she would be keen to follow the feminist movement.

--I'm really not of fan of the swarmy, bookish version of Lily that purveyed often in fics (I see more diversity now but back 10 years ago Lily was like some studious angel all the time.) We know she was smart and teachers loved her, but we also see a lot of anger and cheekiness from her too. I think James wouldn’t have been half as attracted to her if she was just a know it all. I imagine she was really sarcastic and quippy.

--I think Lily thought about fancying Remus in earlier years---to the point that in 4th year she turned on him quickly one day during prefects rounds and kissed him, immediately realized she felt nothing, and then they both agreed to stay friends and never speak of it (James would have died if he knew). After then, Lily had the habit of giving him a kiss on the cheek as greeting/goodbye (think of it as the french bisous, not like a real cheek kiss) and Sirius would always joke about "Where his kiss was"---which prompted Lily to draw real close to him ( making James feel jealous and uncomfortable) before yelling at him to fuck off.

--When Sirius and Lily became friends, they really became friends. They both confided in each other about being the family outsiders, they spent lots of study time listening to music, and she was always able to keep up with his sarcastic and self deprecating style of humor. Whenever Sirius would conjure rock music to play in the corridors, Lily always was the last of the prefects to put a stop to it. She would often spend time in the boys dorms even if James wasn't there to shoot the shit with Sirius and she often was his insider into all the cool muggle things he missed out on.

---Petunia peddled the idea that Lily was a "Hippie type" to Vernon and her friends upon being questioned and Lily really leaned into this gladly. She was very amused by the muggle occult craze in the 60s-70s and found a lot of enjoyment visiting muggle "esoteric shops" and getting books from them. This trait would later be adopted by the marauders who would take some of her muggle “occult magic” books and try to reproduce the (ridiculously fake) spells (often leading in explosions or very bad consequences seeing as the muggle “spells” were all a hoax and couldn’t stand up to real magical attempts). When she was home from the summer it was not uncommon for her to be reading a book by Aleister Crowley on the front stoop.

---Lily hated flying despite James' many tries to get her to enjoy it (he mostly liked that she was scared and held onto him more). Contrary to this, she loved Sirius motorbike. It felt more natural to her despite still being a flying object ( and despite both James and Sirius flying it in the most haphazard way possible.)

--One thing that drew Lily to James was his interest and love for muggle pop culture. I imagine Lily tried often to get Snape to listen to Joni Mitchell or have a laugh at how muggles depicted wizards/witches in film, but Snape didn't see the worth in doing those things---wanting to focus on the wizarding world. James on the other hand ate all of it up--he would jump at the chance to watch Carrie or The Wicker Man. Even before dating James, I think Snape's disdain for all things muggle was off putting to Lily, who saw just as much to learn from muggles as she did from the wizarding world.

Reference things

---I base a lot of my fic Petunia/Lily relationships off of the British show Fleabag. I HIGHLY recommend it and I think its a great example of two sisters who are completely at odds with each other. I think Lily and Petunia's relationship would be much more complicated obviously due to their reasoning for falling out, but I think in general its a great depiction of two sisters who don't get along. I admittedly have cradled their dialogue patterns for scenes. ( Its on Amazon prime really really really go watch it its amazing)

---One of my big references for Lily ( and James for that matter) is Paul Thomas Anderson's Licorice Pizza. I think the love story of the two main characters who are at odds against the world really works and its the typical Jily "one is madly in love with the other and does schemes to win her over while she's sarcastic and wary and grows to love him despite it all." Its also the 70s which helps a lot ( for me). I think also Alana Haim's character is a perfect lily as she's someone who is a bit lost despite having everything going for her on paper. I highly reccomend it if you haven't seen it.

Trailer link here:

[wookiecookiesfactory]

Paper doll

[sophie-hatter-jenkins]

New Writing!

Ginny Weasley character study written for @ladiesofhpfest Character Chic. I'm really pleased with this one!

Body positivity is a social movement that promotes a positive view of all bodies, regardless of size, shape, skin tone, gender, and physical abilities. Proponents focus on the appreciation of the functionality and health of the human body instead of its physiological appearance. Eight lessons that Ginny Weasley learns about her body, and her changing relationship with it, throughout her life.

HUGE thanks go to two wonderful writers for their help:

Firstly @fizzyginfizz who beta read this for me and was so supportive and had so many brilliant suggestions, really building my confidence in this piece - thank you for everything!

Secondly, to @whinlatter, who has written several fantastic Ginny metas that I found super helpful when I was thinking through how to approach this piece.

They both have fabulous Ginny-POV WIPs, (Quidditch is for Losers and Beasts respectively), which you should go and read NOW if you haven’t done so already!

Rated M for language, mature themes and discussion/depiction of sex

9k words

Snippet below the cut

The Weasley family, as was apparent to anyone who cared to notice, came in two very different varieties

Some of them were really-Weasleys, like their Dad - tall, lanky, all hands and feet. Bill was a really-Weasley, as were Percy and Ron. The others were really-Prewetts, like their Mum. Charlie and the twins were really-Prewetts. Really-Prewetts were shorter and stockier, and just generally much more compact, as though the same amount of person was somehow compressed into a much smaller body.

Ginny didn’t really give much thought to the distinction between really-Weasleys and really-Prewetts when she was a child. Obviously she knew that some of her brothers were tall and thin, and some of them were… not. Equally obviously, she knew that her Mum was also… not. So yes, she knew - of course she knew. It’s just that she never really considered it in relation to her . Though to be fair, Ginny was very much on the small side, even before it became clear which side of the family she would take after, so perhaps the signs were there had she cared to notice.

Eleven year old Ginny was, quite frankly, absolutely tiny, just a little dot of a thing really. She felt so small and so intimidated as she huddled in the corner of her train carriage on her way to school for the very first time. Ron had promised to look after her on the journey, but he wasn’t there, and neither was Harry (lovely, lovely Harry), and Ginny didn’t know why. Instead, she made herself even smaller (which wasn’t hard, cocooned as she was in her hand-me-down robes, so large she could have used them as a tent), hoping that no one would notice her as she scribbled messages in her diary to her new friend Tom. She told him how tiny she felt, lonely and afraid and scared by this new world around her. Everyone else seemed so big and so confident, swishing their wands with abandon. Ginny already felt anything but; overlooked and overwhelmed, shrinking further by the second. 

Continue reading on AO3

[stargazingtranquility]

Barty recognized Luna because he saw Pandora in every step she took, that’s a fact. But what about everyone else?

Do you think he saw Regulus when he looked at Draco? Do you think he hated it so much that his punishments for Draco were really just him punishing Regulus and himself?

Do you think he looked at Harry and saw James and Lily? Do you think he looked at Fred and George and recognized Gideon and Fabian? Do you think he looked at Neville and regretted hurting Alice and Frank?

How many times did Barty have to stop himself from calling out their names when their children wore their smiles?

[prongsielefthiswand]

regulus black, who grew up in a household where romantic love wasn’t a thing.

a brief character study

his parents had been cold to each other, never displaying any affection for him to grasp the concepts of what it may mean to love another person.

yet he couldn’t deny that there was a small panging in his chest when he came back to hogwarts after the holidays, to be surrounded by people in love.

don’t get him wrong, he was happy for them all, having long suffered evan and barty’s antics before they stopped dancing around each other and got together, chuckling softly between kisses and climbing into each other’s bed’s before cheekily tugging the curtains closed around them.

regulus only watched them quietly, knees drawn up to his chest on his own bed, as the longing in his heart to find its other half grew stronger.

he’d found out sometime in 4th year that he liked boys, if his less-than-innocent thoughts about his own best mates had anything to say about it, yet he knew that it was a fruitless pursuit.

the house of black wanted heirs, not lovers.

regulus swallows and lays back, staring up at the ceiling, and lets himself imagine again.

imagine if- if- there was a chance, if he was allowed-

regulus inhales sharply at the lump that has suddenly formed in his throat.

he pictures being held gently, like he was made of glass.

he imagines soft hands cupping his face with a tenderness he’d never experienced before. they’d brush over the planes of his face, gently stroking his eye bags, like they were trying to memorise every dip and crevice of him.

regulus closes his eyes, a soft tear running down his temple.

soft lips would follow, pressing promises of love and protection into pale skin that has been long nourished by tears, whilst hands may travel down to the delicate curve of his jaw.

the thumb would now rest against the tender spot of his neck, where his pulse lies, thumping gently.

mirroring his heart, which beats excitedly, knowing its other half is close by.

regulus quietly muses how he knows all this so well, despite having experienced none of it himself, but he reminds himself again of the love that surrounds him here at hogwarts.

his friends, hell, even his own brother, sirius.

the brightest star, the heir,

the one that got away.

heirs, not lovers

even sirius found his missing piece, regulus recalls, having spied him murmuring quietly to that lupin boy, foreheads pressed together in a tender embrace as the shared a cigarette between them.

regulus sits up and reaches for his own pack of cigarettes, one he had stolen from barty, not that the latter ever suspected him.

he leaves his bed, finding himself wandering the halls of hogwarts until he found himself up in the astronomy tower.

above him, his namesake shone dimly, as if taunting him, reminding him of his place.

the spare, a well behaved child, the other one.

and again, he was reminded of his choices, or rather, lack of.

heirs, not lovers

sullenly looking back down and pointing his wand at the end of his cigarette, the unmistakable voice of a one, james potter startles him from his somber thoughts.

“black? I didn’t know you smoked,” he said, coming up beside regulus, an amused expression on his face. Regulus felt a faint feeling in his chest, that longing- that yearning stirringup again, as he fought to keep his composure.

heirs, not lovers,

heirs, not lovers,

heirs, not love-

“mind if I bum one off you?”

[cherry-pop-elf]

I don’t really like putting all of the Weasley’s in Gryffindor. I was thinking, Percy and Ravenclaw, obviously, and maybe Ginny in slytherin? I don’t know. I could see Charlie in Gryffindor, but he also gives Hufflepuff vibes from what I’ve read of him. (I have not read the books.)

I’d like to know your thoughts do you agree with these? Do you disagree? Do you have any additional ones? Or do you just prefer all of them in Gryffindor?

Nah nah I totally agree on this.

I think with how the story is that there was a feeling of expectation for them to all be in a house, like how the Weasleys went crazy when Ron became a HeadBoy, and needing to give insight to the reader the Weasley’s morals and personality’s.

Especially since there are so many Weasleys to keep track of, and we don’t really interact with much. Like Charlie being cut out of the film entirely, and the fact Bill was introduced was soon as year 4 and that’s when he met Fleur like ugh

So I guess here are some little headcanons about possible alternative houses for the Weasleys

Alternative Houses For The Weasley Siblings

Bill Weasley/Ravenclaw

From what we have learned from Hogwarts Mystery ((which I’m trying to play through but fuck the game play sucks. FOR THE WEASLEYS!)) We learned that he pretty much was taken into Gringotts as soon as he finished school

THATS NOT EASY!

Gringotts is the best and safest bank in the world for a reason. They take in ONLY THE BEST. But over here we have a 17-18 year old working there.

Much like with Luna for her open mindedness for knowledge and her special interests for magical animals Bill shows that with Cursebreaking

Ravenclaws are special for being utterly brilliant for the special interest they have. Bill has a clear passion for history and Cursebreaking. Enough to show he was worthy to work at Gringotts

He clearly is very brilliant, open minded, curious, quick witted, and has so many quirks that show Ravenclaw would have supported him perfectly

To be a curse breaker you really need to be passionate to learn more and more. It’s a ever changing career that will introduce new things, and you need to think outside of the box to handle

There is also the fact you’ll need to know a shit Tom of History to handle a job like that. And we all know every gay kid had a phase of either Egyptian History or Greek History (ha jokes on you mines Norse! But uh. Yeah I also dabbled in Greek and Egyptian rip-!) And will you look at that he was stationed in Egypt for a while

Very Ravenclaw

Charlie Weasley/Hufflepuff

We don’t really get much info on him ((also forgive me I haven’t been able to play through much of Mystery because the gameplay just. Sucks so bad)) But we know for a fact he is passionate as hell about Dragons

On one hand that could mean he’s a Ravenclaw, but I argue Hufflepuff.

He is part of a Dragon Sanctuary after all. He takes care of dragons, new born dragons, and helps run it. He clearly has the passion and nerve to make sure he has what it takes to care for such dangerous beasts

Very much a Newt 2.0

You need to be patient, hard working, open minded, well rounded, and as loyal as a dragon to handle such a job like that

He even went as far as to come save Norbert(a) by the drop of the hat from Ron. Clearly a sign of loyalty and compassion to do whatever it took to take care of dragons. We even know that from how Norbert(a) is still alive and well by the time of Deathly Hallows

You really need to have a strong heart to have the time and energy to care for baby dragons and the loyalty to jump at the sound of Ron asking for help. To pull off this insane heist to practically break into Hogwarts to collect the baby

So Hufflepuff coded

Percy Weasley/Slytherin

This almost feels self explanatory

Percy is extremely ambitious about his goals. His goals are at the forefront and he is willing to push whatever buttons he needs to reach them. Which, as shown, put quite the divide with his family. A sub plot point really we are shown through out the books

Also he kinda has pure blood society standards a little bit don’t lie

He also has quite the perfectionist attitude, rather intense, and just really has a heavy focus on self image. To be seen a certain way by people. Much to the expense of his family

He really radiates the toxic traits that Slytherin have. Slytherin have good traits, just as much as Hufflepuff’s will have bad, so don’t worry about me type casting here.

Just take a moment to think it over and well…..

Percy really is a Slytherin

Fred And George Weasley/Slytherin

Now the twins show plenty of Slytherin traits as well, but in a different way compared to Percy

They also are very determined to reach their goals. To the point they took a hella massive risk with leaving school before they could finish. They took a calculated risk and won

They are very ambitious, and if they have a goal they’ll find a way to reach it. Very much how they are so successful. They don’t let the haters keep them down. Even with how unsupported their own mother was they knew they could do it

They also have that edge all the same. They know how to pull that charm to get what they want, and aren’t scared to get their hands dirty.

And we know there’s lots of dirt on those hands

Very much able to win over crowds with ease, and are very aware of how they can use what they have to reach their end goals

They have that edge and we know they would be unstoppable if they had Slytherin’s under their wings

Very much Slytherins

Ron Weasley/ Gryffindor

Nah Ron is as true to a Gryffindor as they come

Even as early as his first year he got it proven quickly

He’s very bold, blunt, and brave. Willing to stand his ground. Sometimes even when he’s wrong, but hey he’s willing to speak his mind and not be afraid of what he has to say. Not willing to be swayed to easily

Sure he can have rather low self confidence but the moment someone like Hermione, Harry, or his family members are insulted or done wrong he’s jumping out of his chair and throwing hands

He’s willing to face the unthinkable for the sake of others. Aka when Bellatrix was torturing Hermione. He loved her entirely and his brave heart was willing to face insanity for her sake

If he’s gonna die it’s gonna be standing. Never on his knees. Time and time again he was facing his fears head on when he hated it. He was willing to follow those spiders despite how crippling his fear was. To face death even as young as eleven because his moral code said it had to be done

He is a TRUE Gryffindor

Ginny Weasley/ Gryffindor or Hufflepuff

Honestly? This is a toss up. She shows very strong elements from both. So this could very well be a case of her being in Gryffindor for more so to follow her siblings but not have it really affect the end goal

She shows very strong traits for both so it’s really hard for me to really give a concrete yes or no to which house

She’s very much a brave girl, living in the moment, stubborn as all hell, and will stand her ground

She also has shown she can be rather caring and comforting. Such as in the deathly hallows when students had to take refuge in the Room Of Requirments. We don’t get much on that aspect specifically but to help take care of her fellow frightened students had to involve a lot of patience and gentleness.

She also has a strong friendship with Luna. Best friends really. Something like that leads me to think she would be very open minded then and well rounded to be able to look through such a different lens compared to her own

It’s really a tight toss up. She can fit in either house very well

So if I had to be held at gun point she would be in Gryffindor for the sake of family more so than actual house choosing

Hope my little headcanons could be enjoyed and open your own minds to different ideas!

[twopenguinsinabox]

Brief intro to a little pwp/character study I was working on under the break, shamelessly inspired by the question of "what would sub!Voldemort/dom!Harry actually look like?"

They go through their days, and Harry is distracted by friends, loved ones, strangers on the street. Voldemort hates it. He hates their touches, their affection, hates the time that Harry spends, hates the attention that Harry grants them. He feels like one of the old gods, jealous and capricious, when the shriveled monstrosity of his heart dares to object. Intellectually, he knows that other people are necessary to keep the boy happy, but knowing is not the same as feeling and even then he hates that it is true.

Hate has been his bosom companion for over seventy years, and even now it curls like a viper at his left-hand side. Most days, there is little Voldemort does not hate.

How strange then, he thinks to himself, that he does not hate this.

There are no other people in the bedroom with them, no one to steal away Harry's attention, his countenance screwed up with focus that is for Voldemort alone. Harry, having shed his outer robes several hours ago and now donning a soft pair of long cotton sleep pants over his underclothes, finishes tying the knots on the silk rope that bind Voldemort's hands to the headboard. Harry isn't wearing a shirt, scar from the locket still emblazoned proudly on his chest, but he's still clothed in more than Voldemort who has long since been stripped down to nothing. Harry is too considerate a lover to permit Voldemort to catch a chill -- there are plenty of warming charms upon his person and the room at large -- but the exposure of his own alien form to the soft lamplight of their room makes him want to pull back, retreat from view.

He does not. The ropes hold, and Harry is tracing his ankles in a way that Voldmort knows means he will soon want to spread them wider. Demanding boy.

[flightlessfinch]

garden song by phoebe bridgers / the black brothers.

"the doctor put her hands over my liver she told me my resentment's getting smaller"

in the house of black, resentment and anger is a birthright. it's passed down from parent to child, and the only escape is estrangement. if you're disinherited, you cannot inherit your mother's rage.

this song makes me think of both of the black brothers, but especially sirius. being scapegoated for your entire life will build resentment toward the golden child whether you want the anger to be there or not. sirius loves his brother, but in childhood they were not only brothers, best friends, but rivals for their parents' love and affection. favouritism is toxic. it builds a rift between children. at ten, regulus learned that association with his own brother would sour his image in his parents' eyes. he lived in fear of becoming him. he'd been taught that he could only earn love with obedience and "goodness." sirius' abuse was a tool orion and walburga used to exert control over regulus. "if you're bad, if you're anything like your brother, this will be you. we won't love you anymore." when you are a child, losing your parents' love is the subject of nightmares.

their gentle treatment of regulus served as another tool of abuse toward sirius. "we care capable of being loving, patient, and gentle. just not to you, because you are wrong, and bad, and broken. you are a rotten child. if you were different, we would love you." they had completely different childhoods under the same roof.

children growing up in abusive households don't have a baseline for "normal." abuse is normal to them. they don't know it's abusive or bad until they are much older, and reflect on their experiences in childhood (if they even remember, which oftentimes they don't. trauma gets written over by the brain all the time). sirius likely thought he was evil, and bad, and broken when he was a kid. he was told he deserved it by his parents, and they're his parents, so he believed them. he loved his mother and father. he was hungry for their love in return, but he couldn't do anything right in their eyes.

the scapegoat cannot earn love with "goodness" or obedience. everything they do is wrong.

sirius grew up angry. he was taught his emotions weren't important, and he was punished for expressing himself, so his quiet childhood anger grew louder and louder. he was hungry for love, but he learned love was impossible for him to acquire, so he settled for attention. hatred can be a substitute for love. at least when he was hated he wasn't invisible.

"i grew up here 'til it all went up in flames except the notches in the door frame"

sirius and regulus had a complicated relationship that often toed the line between love and hatred, because every lesson they learned about love taught them that it is conditional and transactional. they loved each other but it was in a stormy, inconstant way. they fought like cats. the bond between brothers is vicious in a way a relationship with anyone else could never be. they were in each others first memories, they don't remember what it's like not to have a brother (until sirius learns, and realizes estrangement and death are more different than he imagined when he left. "you're dead to me" is one thing, death is quite another).

they are the only two people on earth who know what it was like to grow up in that house.

i don't think they ever apologized to each other for anything. they've said unforgivable things to each other over and over again, and didn't address a word of it once the anger faded, just like their parents. they were close when they were kids because sirius hadn't ruined himself in his parents' eyes yet. likely, before sirius was sorted into gryffindor he was his parents' favourite child because he was their heir.

regulus was more than likely an afterthought most of the time for the first ten years of his life. he isn't as charming, handsome, or outgoing as sirius, which probably resulted in negative comparisons. "why can't you be more like sirius? why are you so shy?" that sort of thing. he grew up hungry for love, and sirius grew up nourished by it because he was golden.

then, he revealed his "flaw" and his parents turned on him. this must have been terrifying. regulus, after being an afterthought for his entire life, was suddenly the favourite. despite sirius' suffering, regulus must have been quietly happy about this for a long time. children aren't as empathetic as adults are. they're also selfish, it's developmentally normal. regulus didn't understand why sirius couldn't just be "good" and stop making their parents angry. he didn't understand that no matter what sirius did, there would always be a fault in it.

to his parents sirius was a rotten, bad child. no matter how much you wash rotten fruit, it won't unripen. he was doomed. he probably tried to please them, especially when he was younger (first to fourth year, i'd say, before he learned that his childhood was not normal). he was clever, he probably brought home perfect marks with the hope that his parents would offer him a crumb of affection, and was left disappointed every single time. which resulted in more rebellion because if he was going to be bad in their eyes no matter what, why would he even try to make them happy?

regulus didn't have friends like james or remus to help him understand that his childhood was abusive. if you believe his friends were people like barty crouch jr and evan rosier, both of them probably had similar childhood experiences to regulus. the rosier family is also old, traditional pure-bloods. barty canonically has a horrible relationship with his dad, which his mother seemingly enabled if not normalized. she obviously loved barty a lot, but she also failed to protect him from his father's anger.

because he didn't understand how abusive his parents were to him as well as sirius, he probably blamed sirius for his own suffering. when he talked about it with his friends, barty and evan probably would have agreed with him. "they're nice to you, they'd be nice to him too if he wasn't such a shit-stirrer. he's doing it for attention." he was taught to hate his brother. his parents indirectly told him with their actions that sirius didn't deserve love, and as they grew older and grew apart, when sirius found unconditional love and acceptance outside of their family, regulus' resentment toward sirius turned into hatred.

regulus was a lonely child. he was shown over and over again that he could not be himself or he would not be loved by his family. he was taught that he couldn't be close with his own brother. as a subconscious form of self-preservation he likely distanced himself from sirius regardless, because if he knew him and loved him less it wouldn't hurt so much to inevitably see him be abused right in front of him. to survive, regulus made himself so small he hardly existed. he didn't interfere with his parents' punishments and harsh words for sirius because if he did, he would lose the only source of acceptance and love in his life.

sirius watched regulus watch him suffer and do nothing. he decided he was a coward, and he didn't love him enough to help him.

"i don't know when you got taller see our reflection in the water"

sirius waited until his sixth year to run away. i think if regulus wasn't in that house he would have ran away from home much sooner.

when you are the older sibling in an abusive household you feel a sense of responsibility to protect your younger sibling. you are automatically parentified. your parents are not to be trusted, so your little brother comes to you with the big, scary questions he has. you become independent and self-sufficient. you stand between your abusive parent and your brother because you don't want him to get hurt. you grow up fast because if you don't you'll suffer more, and your sibling will suffer more too.

sirius was taught that he deserved the hatred he experienced, and he knew if he left the hatred would have nowhere to go but his brother. the idea of leaving him alone there, and not knowing whether or not he was safe, whether or not his parents were in a rage, whether or not regulus had a question that needed answering that he couldn't bring to their parents, made sirius feel obligated to stay.

this brings us back to resentment.

regulus blamed sirius for their parents abuse. sirius blamed regulus for the abuse he experienced, because he was staying in that house for him, so every terrible thing he experienced, every harsh word, was for regulus. all of this, while regulus didn't believe they were being abused at all.

i imagine regulus wasn't grateful that sirius stayed. he probably thought he was stupid for not leaving whenever he had a chance. he probably said so every single time sirius went to him for comfort after something awful happened in that house. they had explosive fights about this, the kind of fights you can only have with your brother. this went on for two years, until something truly horrific happened and sirius had to go.

"i hopped the fence when i was 17 then i knew what i wanted"

even if you have to get out to survive, leaving an abuser is hard. sirius still loved his parents, and he loved his brother. he must have felt guilty for not being the son they wanted, despite his rage toward them. abusers are not abusive all the time. he likely has fond memories with both of his parents, as well as his brother. his mother's hands were gentle as often as they were harsh, and the emotional confusion that is created with that sort of inconsistency will result in guilt when a child thinks of their parent in a negative light.

regulus likely compounded this when they discussed it. "our parents aren't abusive. you're ungrateful. you want to be coddled. they're hard on us because they want us to be strong. you shouldn't speak that way about our mother. she says she does everything out of love for us, she's our mother, sirius, do you really think she's a monster?" sirius doesn't think she's a monster, he thinks she's cruel, and abusive, because his friends helped him to see her honestly.

in canon, when he discusses regulus' blood supremacist beliefs, sirius says: "...my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them..." (referring to their parents). i don't think that this mindset, for regulus, stopped at blood supremacy. regulus is always trapped in his parents' version of their childhood, and he is so emotionally invested in it that seeing his own childhood any other way is unthinkable to him. if his parents are abusive and unloving, and he has spent his whole life making himself small to appease them, how could he live with that reality? how could he bear it? it is a sunk-cost fallacy.

every punishment regulus was ever given, he was convinced he deserved. sirius knew it wasn't fair. they couldn't see eye to eye.

the night sirius left, i think regulus realized he was right about their parents. i think he thought they abused sirius, but not him. he realized that the way their parents treated sirius couldn't possibly be normal. i think he died believing his parents didn't abuse him. the guilt he must have felt about this is unfathomable. believing his brother was abused and for some reason he was not, when regulus was abused, is so painful.

regulus quietly resented sirius for leaving him behind. in his ugliest, most selfishly human moments he viewed it as a lack of love, not entirely self-preservation. his self-esteem was undoubtedly already terrible because of the nature of his parents inconsistent and conditional love, when sirius finally left regulus probably internalized his absence as proof that there is something fundamentally unlovable about him. they didn't speak after sirius left, even at school. if regulus spoke to sirius, he knew he might get in trouble for it. there must have been a sense of betrayal, no matter how justified sirius was for leaving. regulus doesn't seem like he would be able to handle guilt well. sirius represents a lot of unpleasant emotion for regulus. regulus represents a lot of unpleasant emotion for sirius. they probably both actively avoided each other.

it didn't help that there was another, external barrier rising between them.

they went to opposite sides of the war. regulus found community and acceptance among the death eaters. sirius found community and acceptance with the marauders and the order of the phoenix.

"no, i'm not afraid of hard work i get everything i want i have everything i wanted"

by his sixth year, regulus has everything he always wanted as a child. his parents' undivided attention and love. friends. power. it is bittersweet.

by his seventh year, sirius has everything he always wanted as a child. a home far away from his family. freedom. boundless love. it is bittersweet.

their differences are irreconcilable.

sirius heals the wound of his childhood and tries to build a life he is proud of, but it is impossible to escape the shadow of his family. they haunt him. he worries about his brother the same way he did when they were kids, but he knows he cannot stand up for him anymore. it was too much. he had to save himself. he knows the danger regulus is in, and the dark path he is walking down, but he can't help him because regulus doesn't want to be helped.

you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

"everything's growing in our garden you don't have to know that it's haunted"

[dinarosie]

“He doesn’t like anything, much,” said Snape. “Severus?” A little smile twisted Snape’s mouth when she said his name.

It baffles me how some people still see nine year old Snape as this creepy, obsessive stalker fixated on Lily. I mean, just look at that tiny smile he gives when Lily says his name! That’s not the smile of someone plotting or obsessing—it’s the pure, simple reaction of a lonely little boy.

Think about it. Severus Snape, a child who’s grown up without much love or attention, finally hears someone he cares about calling him by his first name in such a familiar, affectionate way. Of course, he lights up. That small smile says it all he’s thrilled, maybe even a little overwhelmed, to feel a genuine connection with someone who sees him as more than just a troubled boy. It’s not creepy; it’s heartbreaking.

In that moment, Snape wasn’t a stalker or a villain. He was just a kid craving kindness and friendship. So how could anyone look at that scene and not see the tragedy behind his smile?

[ladiesofhpfest]

Theme Roundup: Character Chic

For our theme of Character Chic, which ran longer than expected, we had 8 new works! 2 podfics and 6 fics celebrating the ins and outs of what makes our favorite ladies who they are! Check out all the works below!

What is Right and What is Easy by @midnightstargazer. 4.9k words, T, Marietta Edgecombe & Cho Chang

Consequences and Preparations by Chokolatte Jedi - a podfic read by @cailynwrites. 9 minutes long, T, Narcissa Black Malfoy

Body Positive by @sophie-hatter-jenkins. 8.9k words, M. Ginny Weasley

The New Mrs Malfoy by pkettleburn. 10.4k words, T. Narcissa Black Malfoy

A blooming garden (Of obsidian coils) by @nihilisticnomad. 352 words, T. Narcissa Black Malfoy/Nagini

Who's Afraid of Me? (You Should Be) by @thecasualauthor. 20.5k words, T, Hermione Granger.

Follow Me by mimisays. 4.9k words, G, Susan Bones, Amelia Bones

The Audacity of Lavender Brown by malpal132 - a podfic read by @cailynwrites. 42 minutes, E, Lavender Brown

Thank you to all who created for Character Chic! Please give your love to all our creators by leaving kudos and comments on their works!

[atlasdoe]

"I'll die before I let anyone take advantage of me again. I'm stronger now and I'm making sure that everyone knows."

Juliette Kimberly Wilkes | Slytherins best actress

[hp-fanfic-archive]

warmth; or the meaning thereof by Anonymous Pairing: Gen, Severitus Rating: T Word Count: 5k Podfic available here Read by: Anonymous Length: 0:33:40 “Is that your… father?” the red-headed boy asks, frowning slightly as the train pulls away from the station. Other parents are waving on the platform, bright smiles and tears on their faces; a red-headed girl with the same pointed nose as the boy in the seat across from them is chasing the train, laughing and crying all at once, until she can’t keep up anymore. In the distance, and only because he cranes to see it, Harry can just make out a still figure in black, billowing robes, his hands tucked into his pockets. “The closest thing I have to it,” Harry says, turning back to the boy. “My foster father. Severus.” “He seems…” The boy pauses, his frown deepening. “Kind of cold.” “There’s more than one way to be warm.” Harry smiles, not expecting this other boy to understand. “There’s more than one way to show care.”

find the full podfic library here

[cailynwrites]

And the Clock Ticked by @queenofattolia

I'm a day late with this time-related fic for Molly Weasley's birthday, but it seems fitting. Enjoy a little bit of angst and hope, a lovely character study by Lirazel.

And the Clock Ticked by Lirazel Rated: G Length: 8:29 Tags: Pre-Deathly Hallows, POV 2nd Person, Juvenilia Summary:

It is about the time that you finish washing the last dish that you realize that you can hear the clock ticking. Molly alone in the Burrow.

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