#knowing where to look
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On April 28, 2009, I posted the very first chapter of this story. Today-- fourteen years, eight months, and three weeks later-- I posted the last.
I didn’t plan for this story to take me a decade and a half to write. I didn’t plan to take a ten-year hiatus halfway through. But life happened and the responsibilities of adulthood overtook the ambitions of youth. Still, never once in all those years did I forget about my story. Never once did I consider it abandoned. Through it all, I always intended to go back to it. To the writers out there worrying that it has been too long since their last update to continue: There is no such thing. To those worrying they are too old: There is no such thing. To those worrying they are too busy to update frequently enough: There is no such thing. If writing brings you joy, write. Don’t worry about the timeline, don’t worry about how often you can or cannot update. Don’t worry about whether you might be losing readers—the readers that matter will wait (believe it or not, I actually had a few readers still there waiting for me after ten years without a word!). And even if none do wait, you’ll find new readers along the way. If it brings you joy, then write. To the readers out there anxiously waiting for an update from their favourite authors: Tell them. No, don’t just drop a kudos and move on. Leave the comment, write the review, DM them, it doesn’t matter, just tell them! You never know when a simple message saying that you are still there waiting might make an author pick up their quill again. And finally, to my own readers. My wonderful, glorious, patient, kind-hearted, and encouraging readers. I would never have finished this story without you. This story exists because of you. I write because of you. Thank you.
#harry potter fanfiction#hp fanfic#knowing where to look#harry potter#writing#fan fiction#it's not abandoned until the author says its abandoned#just leave the comment#thank you#you are where I look
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I came back just to post this here so I could tag @ala-baguette 🥹 Knowing Where To Look is officially complete and if you haven’t read it yet you should. It’s post war, and Gawain Robards is our main man. This fic is so unlike anything else I’ve read and i just love it so much. Seeing Mary as an adult just made my heart so happy but also hurt so much. Just please do yourself a favor and read this. You won’t regret it.
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Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.
#the ship overall is C to A tier#but it's things like THIS that push it up toward the A#titan ae#titan a.e.#cale#akima#it just...#starts with them chilling together being comfortable in each other's space#that would be enough that's a point there#then she goes and HANDS HIM THE SANDWICH SHE'S EATING#sharing their food#that's another one#and she does it because his hands are busy so he can't feed himself#so that's a third point#and she does it WITHOUT LOOKING AT HIM which is a FOURTH point#and he bites into it without request or invitation so that's a FIFTH point#and then he TAKES THE WHOLE SANDWICH AND GULPS IT DOWN LIKE A LIZARD#which is a SIXTH point#and jumps it up to SEVEN because she pulls her fingers free and finally looks at him and yells at him#IT'S A SEVEN-POINT ROMANCE COMBO#do you know how utterly rare those are?#those are generally earned through KISS scenes where the hands move and the heads touch and maybe there's a spin#they achieved a seven-point romance combo by SHARING A SANDWICH#fixing machines and sharing lunch URRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#book of bill#i watched gravity falls because i was curious about all the Toxic Old Man Yaoi on my dash and wanted context#turns out most of the context was in the book of bill tho lmao#look they either banged or married or both while drunk and i will accept no other possibilities#you don't use the phrase 'and one thing led to another' in a PRIVATE JOURNAL if what happened wasn't salacious in some way#i mean - ford didn't exactly grow up in The Most Inclusive Time Period???#dude was probably like 'gotta use this wording for plausible deniability - NO ONE can know i boinked the talking triangle'#in other news - i must bully the baby billy#don't know how much more GF stuff i'll toss up here but i have a few other little scribbles in the works. probably won't color them tho lol#also don't ask me why bill's bowtie stays where it is despite his “pants” being under it. just. just fucking don't ok???#EDIT: oh and since i see this a lot in this fandom for some reason: DO NOT REPOST THIS PLZ K THX :D
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A h-heartfelt reunion..?
Bonus
#Sir Crocodile#Monkey D Dragon#Emporio Ivankov#Dragodile#Crocodad#My art#One Piece#We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay#Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao#I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally#He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace.#You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that#Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy#And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do#But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨#And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion
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Dick who climbed on anything as a child. Even in public, especially in public. The moment Bruce looks away, he is climbing something to get as high as possible. The first times, it gave Bruce an heart attack. Now, it's just a headache.
People pass by and ask if they should call the firefighters, and Bruce tiredly tell them "He is fine, he can get down on his own.", like people with cats.
Imagine, you're walking out of some building, only to see a 10 years old standing on top of a lamppost, having a discussion with his dad guardian at the bottom.
"Dick, get down."
"Make me."
"Get down or you're grounded."
#bruce wayne#dick grayson#batman#robin#dc comics#my ramblings#sometimes Bruce doesn't even know how Dick got where he is#he looked away for a second and now Dick is in the ceiling#of course Dick doesn’t get down because he knows the threat is empty Bruce is using his “tired dad” voice not his “disappointed dad” voice#really different for a Batkid you can still get away with a lot with the “tired dad”
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"They call it the MANGLE" - FNAF 2 phone guy
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#mangle#abby schmidt#mike schmidt#fnaf 2#HAPPY SPOOKY MONTH BUT FR#the big thing I was looking forward to doing was doing some horror art!#obviously if you’ve followed me for awhile#every October I’ll do a handful of spookier art than usual#I don’t have grand plans but we’ll see where the art takes me#wanted to start with something for the next movie#again can’t wait to see mangle in it#I’m so curious how they’ll look or move#if you’ve seen how they move in Help wanted#you just know they’ll be terrifying#mangle is the number one thing I’m looking forward to in the second film#originally in my draft for this I exaggerated mangle quite a bit#but decided to be more accurate cause mangle on their own is freaky#just a lot of their screens in the og game are truly haunted#love mango 🩷
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that one dynamic meme
#michael has the hugest most frightened eyes in existence deer in the headlights stare looking everywhere but not at you#i think I'm right#my art#the magnus archives#michael shelley#gerry keay#gerard keay#this is just a silly thing but the contrast in eye contact makes sense to me with gerry being heavily marked by the eye#and michael marked by the spiral since childhood#shifty gaze where you can't quite pinpoint his eye colour vs the far-too-knowledgeable stare you know
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Bruce being so smiley and happy around Robin! Jason shatters me so intimately. Soft as hell if this continues when Jason’s red hood, too.
“Robin,” Bruce calls him that out of habit and isn’t at all surprised when Jason swiftly punches his arm, only to rub the place a moment later, even if Bruce barely notices. “This is not the time for jokes.”
“ Three o’clock is always the time for jokes. You scheduled it.”
“Nightwing was turned into a rabbit. And you’re laughing.”
“Have you seen the guy’s Tik Toks? This is as dignified as he’ll ever be.”
Jason is very sure Dick can understand them, because he’s biting hard through his boots. Even harder when Bruce snorts and presses his lips in a white line.
Don’t get me wrong, thought, it’s vice versa.
“I think we’re gonna have to kill this guy, B.” Talking about a guy who cut the line in Batburger while Cass was trying to order.
Bruce, in his Batman voice, “fuck!”
Jason has one of those laughing fits where you get on the floor, breathless and limp. “This brings up memories.”
“ROBIN.”
#I know it in my heart Bruce and Jason have a special look where they make fun of people together#in a very mother daughter way. anyway I just want others to be freaked out by batman giggling quietly after red hood made the worst joke#in human history.#I love them#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#jason todd#batdad#batman#text#batfamily
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what i drew on halloween! werewolf marina and vampire pearl
#i had done a couple drawings where i gave marina the furry ears and i just didn't fw how it looked fjlds#i honestly would like to do the other way around as well of vampire marina and werewolf pearl#it's interchangeable in my brain#perhaps another drawing to come if i get the energy cos i'm feral for this dynamic#i still love knight and wizard this is just what i personally wanted to get on paper#some of these clothes are incomprehensible i know#purely had fun drawing the strange heels#zimzamzom#splatoon#splatoween#off the hook#marina ida#pearl houzuki#splatoon art#artists on tumblr#halloween
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Local 28 year old experiences small act of genuine kindness for the first time in her life
#one piece#nico robin#sanji#daily wtt robin 2#that moment where he gives her a flower in skypiea is actually so precious#she looks so flabbergasted like that gif of the cat#you know the one
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Could you tell us more about Kingsleys fondness and protectiveness of Harry. Love u to bits xxxx
What’s that? A Kingsley Shacklebolt meta, you say? Don’t mind if I do!
A relatively common and much-loved comment I get from some of my readers is that they never gave Kingsley much of a second thought before reading Knowing Where to Look. Let’s change that, because I need company in over-thinking about random side characters. Plus, I find Kingsley Shacklebolt so damn cool and other people should too! For such a small character who is mostly just in the background throughout canon, I am always so impressed by the volumes of information one can glean from his tiny one sentence lines. So, let’s start by looking at a few of these moments.
I’ll begin with the first time we meet him in Order of the Phoenix where he is part of the Advance Guard. I remember just falling in love with Kingsley right from the first time I read this chapter at roughly 2am the night the book was released. A few notable lines I present for consideration:
“‘Yeah, I see what you mean, Remus […] He looks exactly like, James.’”
“‘A surprising number of people volunteered to come and get you,’ said Lupin as though he had read Harry’s mind; the corners of his mouth twitched slightly.”
“‘Remus says you’re a good flier,’ said Kingsley Shacklebolt in his deep voice. ‘He’s excellent,’ said Lupin […]”
“Kingsley Shacklebolt and Sturgis Podmore were examining the microwave and Hestia Jones was laughing at a potato peeler […]”
“‘I’m just telling the boy the plan,’ growled Moody. ‘Our job’s to deliver him safely to headquarters, and if we die in the attempt—’ ‘No one’s going to die,’ said Kingsley Shacklebolt in his deep, calming voice.”
Information I infer from this first encounter:
Kingsley is highly trusted by Dumbledore and the rest of the Order despite having only been a member for a month or so. (I’m fairly certain he was not in the Order during the first war.)
Kingsley knew James on a personal level. He’s on a first-name basis, he remembers his appearance well, and Remus would have had no other reason to comment that Harry looked like him if he did not.
Kingsley is curious about Harry—likely in part secondary to Harry’s fame, but also, I suspect, on a more personal level (whether his apparent past relationship with James or his current one with Remus and Sirius).
Remus talks about Harry when Harry’s not around (I could probably write a whole meta on this sad and sweet observation, but I shall resist and stick to the topic at hand). We’ll come back to this.
He’s pure-blood or at least was raised with minimal exposure to Muggle technology.
He’s calm and level-headed and not afraid to call out melodrama, though he’ll do so patiently, respectfully, and gently.
We have several smaller encounters going forward in OotP that I also find telling:
“[Kingsley and Mr. Weasley] were talking to each other as though they hardly knew each other. […] ‘Here,’ said Kingsley brusquely to Mr. Weasley, shoving a sheaf of parchment into his hand, ‘I need as much information as possible on flying Muggle vehicles sighted in the last twelve months. We’ve received information that Black might still be using his old motorcycle.’ Kinglsey tipped Harry an enormous wink and added, in a whisper, ‘Give him the magazine, he might find it interesting.’ Then he said in normal tones, ‘And don’t take too long, Weasley, the delay on that firelegs report held up our investigation for a month.’”
“‘Molly, I’ll be late, I’m covering for Tonks, but Kingsley might be dropping in for dinner—'”
Harry caught the sound of his own name. Kingsley Shacklebolt’s deep voice was audible even over the surrounding chatter. ‘—why Dumbledore didn’t make Potter a prefect?” said Kingsley. ‘He’ll have had his reasons,’ replied Lupin. ‘But it would’ve shown confidence in him. It’s what I’d’ve done,’ persisted Kingsley. ‘’specially with the Daily Prophet having a go at him every few days…’
“Kingsley had run forward to continue Sirius’s duel with Bellatrix.”
“‘Alastor Moody, Nymphadora Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Remus Lupin were all at headquarters [with Sirius] when [Snape] made contact.’”
My take-aways:
Kingsley has a good poker-face and can act a part that is required of him.
Kingsley is kind and considerate. He goes out of his way to send Sirius a copy of the Quibbler with an article featuring Sirius/Stubby Boardman, for no other reason than to make Sirius smile in a time when Sirius had precious little to smile about. Kingsley, in other words, is a big ol’ sweetie.
Kingsley drops in for dinner and any little festivities that happen at headquarters or with the Weasleys a few times throughout the series and is clearly welcomed any time, even when not truly on Order business. Along with this, I speculate he doesn’t have much by way of family or close personal connections outside of his friends at the Order.
Even when he has only just met Harry, Kingsley is already concerned for his feelings (not just his physical safety) when Dumbledore doesn’t make Harry a prefect. He is observant enough to notice that Harry is out of sorts and disappointed, which no other character particularly seems to notice. He’s already attuned to Harry’s moods even then.
Also from this same moment, we see that Kingsley is one of the few characters who doesn’t seem to entirely blindly assume everything Dumbledore does is best. He doubts Dumbledore’s judgment when he doesn’t make Harry a prefect. What else might he doubt?
Kingsley is brave and loyal. He jumps in to duel with the most ruthless Death Eater present who just killed his friend. Later, he does it again with Voldemort who he believes has just killed Harry.
Moody, Tonks, Remus, Sirius, and Kingsley are often described together. From their interactions, I see these five having a particular bond, beyond that of simply colleagues. They’re friends. What do all of Kingsley’s friends have in common? (1) They all have affection for Harry they show in one form or another throughout the series. (2) They all die. I’ll let that sit for a moment—we’ll come back to it.
Now we come to The Half Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows:
“‘I’m not getting rid of Kingsley Shacklebolt, if that’s what you’re suggesting!’ said the Prime Minister hotly. ‘He’s highly efficient, gets through twice the work as the rest of them—’”
“‘All right,’ [Uncle Vernon] said, stopping in front of Harry yet again. ‘All right, let’s say, for the sake of argument, we accept this protection. I still don’t see why we can’t have that Kingsley bloke.’ Harry managed not to roll his eyes, but with difficulty. This question had also been addressed half a dozen times. ‘As I’ve told you,’ he said through gritted teeth, ‘Kingsley is protecting the Mug—I mean, your Prime Minister.’ ‘Exactly— he’s the best!’ said Uncle Vernon, pointing at the blank television screen. The Dursleys had spotted Kingsley on the news, walking along discreetly behind the Muggle Prime Minister as he visited a hospital. This, and the fact that Kingsley had mastered the knack of dressing like a Muggle, not to mention a certain reassuring something in his slow, deep voice, had caused the Dursleys to take to Kingsley in a way that they had certainly not done with any other wizard, although it was true that they had never seen him with his earring in.”
“‘Miss Granger with Kingsley, again by thestral—’ Hermione looked reassured as she answered Kingsley’s smile.
“Kingsley showed no pleasure at the sight of any of them. Over Hermione’s shoulder, Harry saw him raise his wand and point it at Lupin’s chest. ‘The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?’ ‘Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him,’ said Lupin calmly. […] ‘All right, all right!’ said Kingsley, stowing his wand back beneath his cloak. ‘But someone betrayed us! They knew, they knew it was tonight!’ ‘So it seems,’ replied Lupin, ‘but apparently they did not realize that there would be seven Harrys.’ ‘Small comfort!’ snarled Kingsley.
“‘Now they’ve put a Taboo on [Voldemort’s name], anyone who says it is trackable—quick-and-easy way to find Order members! They nearly got Kingsley—' ‘You’re kidding?’ ‘Yeah, a bunch of Death Eaters cornered him, Bill said, but he fought his way out. He’s on the run now, just like us.’
“‘I’d like to appeal to all our listeners to emulate their example, perhaps casting a protective charm over any Muggle dwellings in your street. Many lives could be saved if such simple measures are taken.’ ‘And what would you say, Royal, to those listeners who reply that in these dangerous times, it should be Wizards first?’ asked Lee. ‘I’d say that it’s one short step from Wizards first to Purebloods first, and then to Death Eaters,’ replied Kingsley. ‘We’re all human, aren’t we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.’
“[…] Kingsley had stepped forward on the raised platform to address those who had remained behind [to take part in the Battle of Hogwarts]. ‘We’ve only got half an hour until midnight, so we need to act fast! A battle plan has been agreed between the teachers of Hogwarts and the Order of the Phoenix.’
“Voldemort was now dueling McGonagall, Slughorn, and Kingsley all at once.”
“One shivering second of silence, the shock of the moment suspended: and then the tumult broke around Harry as the screams and the cheers and the roars of the watchers rent the air. The fierce new sun dazzled the windows as they thundered toward him, and the first to reach him were Ron and Hermione, and it was their arms that were wrapped around him, their incomprehensible shouts that deafened him. Then Ginny, Neville, and Luna were there, and then all the Weasleys and Hagrid, and Kingsley and McGonagall and Flitwick and Sprout, and Harry could not hear a word that anyone was shouting, nor tell whose hands were seizing him, pulling him, trying to hug some part of him […]”
Observations:
Kingsley is likeable and has a skill for garnering trust. Both the Prime Minister and Uncle Vernon trust him despite having a general dislike for wizard-kind.
Kingsley is clever and adaptable and a good actor. We see fascination with a microwave in OotP suggesting he had minimal exposure to the Muggle world, but by DH, he is already able to play the part of a Muggle, dress like them, and conform to their society, something that the likes of Arthur Weasley, who has obsessively studied Muggles for years, never manages. He even knows enough to take out his earing (which he otherwise always seems to wear) to better appeal to the Dursleys conservative views.
A small speculation to which we can never know an answer but… Given that he knew Harry was listening, is it possible Kingsley’s choice of security question for Remus was intentionally chosen to offer Harry a little assurance that they had faith in him?
Kingsley is constantly described as calm and cool throughout all sorts of strife in the series, be he is not entirely unflappable. After the Battle of the Seven Potters, the man is visibly livid, and I love it! At no other time do we see so many exclamation marks in his speech. He has suddenly been forced to face the possibility that one of his friends betrayed them, and he is not okay! Even after this speech, he is totally flustered: he laughs derisively at Hermione’s naivety in an uncharacteristically impatient way; he seems panicked when he hears Voldemort had gone after Harry directly; he’s pacing the yard in a way that reminds Harry of Uncle Vernon as they’re waiting for the others to come back; he nearly comes to blows when Arthur arrives and is trying to get past him to see George… Can someone just please give the man a hug? (Obviously, this is a trait I’ve exploited in KwtL. Betrayal by a friend is definitely a sore spot for him.)
The Trio sees Kingsley as untouchable. Hermione’s relieved to be paired with him when they leave the Dursley’s house (and to not have to ride a broom). Harry’s shocked to hear of him in hiding in much the same way they are. They’re thrilled when they hear him speaking on the radio. They have unwavering awe and respect for Kingsley.
Again, I speculate that Kingsley doesn’t have a romantic partner or children. When Kingsley goes on the run, there is no mention of family which would have been a big concern if he had one.
Kingsley has a strong sense of morality and a drive to stand up for those weak and defenseless. Despite the fact that his blood status and that his family was one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight would likely allow him to simply sit out the war safely, he’s still in the midst of it, constantly fighting for the little guy.
Kingsley is a natural leader, but he really only takes up the mantel when he has to (ie, Dumbledore and Moody are dead and the Order is leaderless)
Just another reminder that Kingsley dueled Voldemort and he’s a badass.
Kingsley is one of the first to rush to Harry after he’s defeated Voldemort. He’s listed among all the people who love Harry most. (Shut up, I’m not crying, you’re crying.)
So we come to what is perhaps more your question, kind Anon. What is Harry and Kingsley’s relationship like post-war. As you point out, I write him as having fondness and protectiveness for Harry right from the beginning of Knowing Where to Look, and I have had readers challenge me (kindly) that Harry and Kingsley really weren’t that close in canon.
I’ll agree that Harry was not close with Kingsley, but I’m here to argue that that’s not entirely true the other way around. I think there’s subtle hints that Kingsley was fond and protective of Harry in canon. Whenever Kingsley knew Harry was in danger, he came running. I don’t think that was just duty to the Order. There’s a personal component there as well.
We know that at least Remus and likely Sirius spoke of Harry amongst other Order members. Before he even met Harry, Kingsley would have heard about Harry in ways that most strangers would not have heard of him. It’s almost certain he knew many of the details of Harry’s experience in the graveyard when Voldemort returned (most all Order members would have been briefed on this when the Order was reestablished). He had likely heard tales from Sirius and Remus of how Harry braved Dementors and werewolves and time travel to rescue Sirius. Maybe even rumors of his exploits with the Chamber of Secrets and the Philosopher’s Stone which Remus may have picked up from other professors when he taught at Hogwarts. Remus even spoke of Harry enough to have mentioned that he looked like James— something that would have had no bearing on the mission. The point is, the people surrounding Kingsley loved Harry, and I think that affection would naturally have bled into him just from the types of stories they were likely to tell about him.
Then, all those people who surrounded Kingsley and who loved Harry die. I think it’s very natural that as his friends— who were all so committed to protecting Harry— all died one-by-one, Kingsley would have taken up that mantel and felt the need to protect him in their place. Even if it wasn’t one hundred percent from his own personal affection at first, he would have felt this a duty he owed his departed friends who all died in the name of keeping Harry safe. After Harry emerges from hiding, older and more independent than ever, I think it would have been challenging for Kingsley to accept that Harry is not that kid he needs to protect (hence his sometimes-unwelcome paternal instincts in KwtL). Furthermore, given my theory that he is without family and especially after the loss of so many Order friends and colleagues, post-war Kingsley may have been a little starved for affection himself which may have encouraged him to reach out more to Harry as he struggled with the isolation of his position of power.
In conclusion, Kingsley loves Harry, and no one can convince me otherwise. He’s prepared to give up his career for him, and though Harry would be completely devastated to know it, he’s prepared to give up his life for him.
(A few random and less-related but perhaps still interesting headcanons: As I mentioned above, I doubt he is married or has children. I headcanon him married to his job and decidedly single and generally fine with that (who knows, maybe even aroace?). I know his age is never really stated or implied, but I headcanon him to be a few years older than the Mauraders. His vibe in the books just says forty-something for some reason. My completely unfounded headcanon is that the Shacklebolt and Potter Families were friends—Kingsley’s and James’s parents moved in the same social circles, throwing Kingsley and James together enough growing up to be friendly but not besties. Friendly enough that he may have attended Lily and James’s wedding, for example, but not so friendly as to have followed him into the Order the first time around. Again, these bits are purely my imagination and yes have no real importance to the story.)
Thanks for the Ask, Anon! I clearly have thought way too much about this. I hope you enjoy the insights into how my brain builds on characterization as I’m writing some of these smaller side-characters. Love ya back!
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I wish we could have met in some other way.
Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates
If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3
Still frames/Individual gifs:
If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#oh god here we go#death note jdrama#death note 2015#death note 2006#death note musical#lctw#l change the world#dntm#lawlightweek2024#my art#collapses i am NEVER putting this much effort in one piece ever again /hj this was the Only one i had mostly prepared in advance#ironically the most painstaking part about making this entire thing was converting the images into an animated file#that wasn't either horrifically compressed or just. wouldn't loop. why do gifs have to look so BAD it's so inconvenient#and THEN i realized I had to forcibly Stitch the two animations together so they would actually be synced and it wouldn't look dumb#and the end result is STILL so compressed. because Tumblr. uhhh just don't click on it it'll look so scuffed LOL. anyways#this is what i get for watching Every Adaptation of Death Note. i am a death note multiverse truther#usually i'd have something clever to say in the tags but. this drained the life out of me just uh.#yeah. they're doomed in every universe. this is the only way they could've met. they are doomed by their own natures and the#circumstances that surround them. there is no universe where light tries to prevent L's death. and even in the cases where L Doesn't die#there is no universe where L can save light. there is no universe where he can truly “catch” Kira and make him see where he went wrong#(<- if you read LCTW you know. :) )#in every universe and adaptation L will call Light his first friend. in some universes they'll take that notion more seriously than others#no matter what one of them will die due to the other. its the only constant. it's the only way it can ever be. they are the others downfall
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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JIYAN ❖ THROUGH THE DARKEST OF NIGHTS
Jiyan, leader of the Midnight Rangers, acts with swift and resolute righteousness. He possesses the formidable ability to conjure a powerful Qingloong from the winds, making him invincible on the battlefield.
#wuwa#wuthering waves#jiyan#gamingedit#wuwaedit#flashing tw#m:gifs#m:*#as a viewer i very much appreciate the captions but as a giffer god damn it why directly on the video ajkdflajsdf#anyways. idk if it's an intentional design choice#but jiyan's fighting style with the dragon + lance and the dragon specifically following the movement of the lance#makes it look like he's fighting via dragon dancing#like you know the dance where usually multiple people hold up a long dragon puppet with poles#kinda cute tbh lol esp since otherwise ig he's supposed to have an edgier vibe#m:1k
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we continue to draw that old man………
#star trek#star trek tos#star trek tos fanart#star trek fanart#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#doctor mccoy#you know how it goes.#oh i’ll do some flats for fun#no it looks boring add some light#but where is the light from. add background#it compounds
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