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The Unsaid Words Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks, Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks Characters: Andromeda Black Tonks, Ted Tonks, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter Additional Tags: Grief/Mourning, Finding Strength, Angst, Family, Ficlet, Character Study, Canon Compliant, Missing Scene, POV Andromeda Black Tonks Series: Part 16 of Left Behind Summary:

"Nymphadora may have taken after her father in many ways, but that particular trait—her stubborn determination—that she had gotten from her mother. Andromeda was strong too. She could not afford to fall apart over those who had left her behind. She had to focus on those who were here."

Or... Pre-canon - post-canon: Moments when Andromeda Tonks had no words, or at least none deemed necessary.

Pride

Ted had offered to come with her.  She’d told him not to.  Simultaneously, she felt regret and relief at this.  Regret in that she desperately craved the comfort he so effortlessly exuded.  Relief in that she didn’t trust that her father wouldn’t be firing off Killing Curses if he had. Father stood stock still.  His hands were thrust deep within his pockets, and Andromeda was sure one was gripping his wand.  But he did not move.  Every muscle in his body seemed tensed—poised to spring—but he did not move. The clock on the mantel ticked.  The only sound.  The only evidence that time continued onward.  It echoed around Father’s study. He didn’t look at her—his eyes were fixed upon the ornate Turkish rug, and if one had walked in at that moment, from his expression one would have thought the carpet had just been heard speaking the most inexcusable profanities. Andromeda kept her chin held high.  She forced herself to stay still, not to shift her weight, not to fidget with the new ring on her finger.  For better or for worse, she was her father’s daughter, and so, despite the pounding of her heart and the coldness of her fingertips and the subtle trembling of her arms, she kept her chin held high.  “Say something, Papa,” she demanded. He did not immediately respond.  When he did, it was not with words.  Instead, he merely walked to the door of his study, twisted the handle, and held it open for her.  Still, he did not look at her.  Still, he did not speak. He didn’t need to.  Nor did she.  There was nothing more to say. The response did not surprise her.  Her bag was already packed and waiting for her in the foray. What did surprise her was how much it hurt.

Continue reading on AO3

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I just wrote 70% of a Left Behind story that features Hannah Abbot struggling to find her place in the world after returning to post-war UK and seeing all her school friends who kicked death eater ass in the war while she had fled the country with her father.

Then I had a sickening thought, reread the Battle of Hogwarts chapters, and realized she is in fact mentioned to have been there, meaning this story makes absolutely no sense.

So…. Crap. How’s your day going?

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The Kneazle was originally bred in Britain, though it is now exported worldwide. A small catlike creature with flecked, speckled, or spotted fur, outsize ears, and a tail like a lion's, the Kneazle is intelligent, independent, and occasionally aggressive, though if it takes a liking to a witch or wizard, it makes an excellent pet. The Kneazle has an uncanny ability to detect unsavoury or suspicious characters and can be relied upon to guide its owner safely home if they are lost. Kneazles have up to eight kittens in a litter and can interbreed with cats. Licences are required for ownership as Kneazles are sufficiently unusual in appearance to attract Muggle interest.

New chapter is up!

Join Newt as he seeks solve the mystery of Lady Corbyn’s missing brooch with a couple of unlikely assistants.

Fandom: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: General Audiences

Characters: Newt Scamander

Additional Tags: Mystery, Adventure, Epistolary, Episodic Narrative, Historical Fantasy, Prequel, Travel, Magizoology (Harry Potter)

Summary:  The year is 1913. War is brewing in both the Muggle world and the Magical one, and the whole world can feel it coming. But who has time to worry about such things when there are creatures to save?  Join Newt as he travels the world, meeting new friends and foes, exploring new terrains, experiencing new cultures, and, of course, studying the wonders of all the fantastic beasts and where to find them.

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Fandom: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: General Audiences Characters: Newt Scamander Additional Tags: Mystery, Adventure, Epistolary, Episodic Narrative, Historical Fantasy, Prequel, Travel, Magizoology (Harry Potter)  Summary:  The year is 1913. War is brewing in both the Muggle world and the Magical one, and the whole world can feel it coming. But who has time to worry about such things when there are creatures to save?  Join Newt as he travels the world, meeting new friends and foes, exploring new terrains, experiencing new cultures, and, of course, studying the wonders of all the fantastic beasts and where to find them.

Chapter 1

Herein lies the wonderous adventures of the world-renowned magizoologist, Newton Artemis Fido Scamander! At least I hope they will lie here. I have to have them first—the adventures, I mean. But that’s what I’m setting off to do. Have adventures. Merlin, that first line looks pretentious, doesn’t it? Like the sort of thing Theseus would say. Maybe I should revise that: Herein lies what will probably be the mad ramblings of some poor sod named Newt whom no one’s ever heard of. Yes, that’s likely more accurate.

 Continue reading on AO3!

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Getting to know a new protagonist is like early dating.

He is cute. But what if we’re not compatible? Or even more frightening to consider, what if we are? Am I ready for that kind of commitment?

Okay, but he really is cute.

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Heyy

Would u ever think of writing a sequel to knowing where to look

It would be great to see Harry training to be an auror under gawain's

Guidance

I like to think the remainder of Gawain's career was utterly boring and unworthy of record. I think Gawain (and Mary) deserve that. But I appreciate the interest!

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Just finished reading Knowing Where to Look, what a beautiful piece of fiction!! Congrats on finally finishing it, you must feel very accomplished :)

... and if you ever feel inspired to write a whole fic about Ben Harrows, the love of my life, nobody will try to stop you 😂

There is no surer form of flattery than someone telling me they love one of my OCs even one tiny iota as much as they love the canon characters. Thank you! While a whole fic about Ben Harrows is unlikely (tempting, but that would be a rather niche target audience), I have no doubt Ben will have a few cameos in future fics here and there. I love him too much to say a true goodbye to Ben. However...while not exactly a fic, what I can offer you now is an excerpt from my initial outline (circa 2009) containing the character analysis and (rather depressing) backstory I wrote for Ben. Definite KwtL spoilers, so if you have not read it, proceed at your own risk!

Ben, at first glance appears to be a highly open, out-going, fun-loving sort of individual who says what he thinks.  He is all goofy smiles and wit and charm and is loved by everyone who meets him.  The truth of the matter is, however, in certain areas, Ben is quite the reverse from what people think.  Early on, he discovered subconsciously or otherwise, that if he was loquacious and friendly, those around him received the impression that he had told them everything, and thus they did not bother to look deeper.  If he talked about the insignificant enough, they forgot to ask about the significant.  There are certain aspects of his life which he discusses with no one.  He is, in reality, extremely private when it comes to these things. This is a product of his upbringing and, of course, past trauma.

Ben, born ‘Brian O’Harrow’, was born in Belfast in 1972.  He is, in the technical definition of the word, Muggle-born, however, he was never ignorant of magic. 

Ben’s mother, Fiona, was the younger sister of a Muggle-born wizard, Eamon O’Callaghan.  Growing up, Fiona and Eamon were very close and Eamon was very protective of his little sister.  Fiona, therefore, heard all about the magical world and everything that happened at Hogwarts whenever her brother came home for the holidays. 

Fiona left her family home in Cork to attend university in Belfast when she was eighteen.  There she met Kevin O’Harrow.  They fell in love, married, and settled down together in Belfast and had Ben a few years later.  This was, unfortunately, just as the Troubles were gearing up.  Kevin was young, idealistic, and nationalistic—he was eager to be in the thick of things at this time, but Fiona was much more reticent and worried about her small family’s safety.  As the violence escaladed, she frequently suggested they move back to Cork, but Kevin was insistent they stay. 

Ben began displaying signs of magic at a young age, and Fiona immediately recognised it for what it was.  At Fiona’s urging, Eamon, who had no partner or children of his own, came to settle down in Belfast to be near his sister and to support Ben.  Fiona promoted a strong connection between her son and her brother; knowing Ben would eventually enter the wizarding world, she wanted him to have someone to go to with any problems that she knew she and Kevin would be ill equipped to help him with.

Meanwhile, the first war against Voldemort was underway.  Eamon, as a Muggle-born now had a target on his back.  He was very idealistic and considered himself to have less to lose than most; he took it upon himself to do everything in his power to waylay the Death Eaters, working largely independently, loath to put anyone else at risk.  Even so, Fiona found herself trapped between two very separate wars without really being a part of either.  She lived in constant fear for her family and especially Ben who straddled these two worlds, both of which were full of danger for him.

Heedless of his sister’s warning, Eamon continued his quiet rebellion.  When Ben was six years old, Eamon snuck into a Death Eater gathering place and stole some parchments detailing meeting times, locations, and certain members.  As he made his escape, however, he was seen and recognised by someone with whom he had gone to Hogwarts. 

The Death Eaters had recently acquired a new recruit, a young boy, only seventeen years old. They decided that it would be a good and relatively simple test to send the boy to kill Eamon and retrieve these documents.  Eamon, however, was not at home when the young Death Eater broke into his flat—something the Death Eater was quite relieved about, though he wouldn’t have admitted it.  He set about ransacking the place, searching everywhere he could think of for the papers, secretly hoping that he could find them quickly and return them to his colleagues before Eamon came home and that maybe they would forget about the whole killing part of the assignment.

Fiona, who had been passing nearby Eamon’s flat at the time with her son in tow, decided to stop in and say hello to her brother and see if he might be available to watch Ben while she did some shopping as a six-year-old really does slow down the process.  After going up the stairs to Eamon’s flat and letting herself in, she followed the sounds of rummaging coming from her brother’s study.  When the door opened, the young Death Eater, on high nerves, whipped around and let loose a Killing Curse without even looking to see who it was. 

When he saw what he had done, the young Death Eater was horrified.  He stood there and stared at the young woman he had just murdered in cold blood and her six-year-old son who was kneeling on the floor looking confused and in shock, still holding her hand.  It was the first person Regulus Black had ever killed and it was the first in a line of occurrences that would eventually turn him to give his life to destroy a horcrux.  Regulus ran from the house, determined to tell the Death Eaters that the parchment wasn’t in there.  Eamon later came home to find his sister dead on the floor and Ben still beside her, still holding her hand.

Kevin O’Harrow did his best to raise his son after that.  He loved Ben very much, but he was well beyond depressed after the death of his wife.  He was detached and no longer seemed to be able to muster the energy to show his son how much he cared, something he knew Ben needed to see.  After a few months, Kevin realised he couldn’t give his son what he needed, and he sent Ben to live with his Uncle Eamon.  Kevin, in turn, channelled his anger deeper into the Northern Ireland conflict, diving into the fight for his country’s independence.   

Eamon was also crushed by the death of the sister he had loved so much, most in particular because he was convinced it was his fault.  He took his responsibilities toward Ben very seriously, however.  He was determined to raise and love him like a son and to do everything in his power to make it up to his sister.  He immediately cut off his risky, anti-Death Eater life style, but quickly realised it was too late; he had already made a name for himself as being outspoken against Voldemort.  War ranging on both sides, he decided to take Ben away and go into hiding.  Eamon tried to convince Kevin to go with them, but Kevin insisted that “Ireland was the only thing left in my life that’s worth fighting for.”  These words Ben would carry with him for the rest of his life.

Eamon took Ben to England where a friend from school had offered him a safehouse.  Fearful of public perception of the Irish, he anglicized Ben’s name and taught him to speak with an English accent.  Eamon cared and loved Ben like his own son and did everything in his power to ensure he had a safe and happy childhood going forward.  Knowing the risks to Muggle-borns, Eamon even had forged documents drawn up to claim Ben was his biological son.  It was these documents that would later save Ben in the second war when the Death Eaters started their purge at the Ministry.

A year after going into hiding, Voldemort was defeated by the Boy Who Lived and the political climate began to calm, at least in the wizarding world, if not so much in the Muggle one.  Eamon and Ben emerged from hiding to discover that Kevin O’Harrow had died a few months previous in a car bomb explosion.  Reports from those who knew him suggested that he had been intentionally putting himself in danger for quite some time.

The years passed and Eamon did as he had promised and raised Ben as a son, supporting him through his years at Hogwarts and later through his Auror training.  A year and a half after Ben qualified as an Auror, Eamon O’Callaghan passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack.  Ben mourned him like he would a father, but was grateful that he had lived long enough to see what Ben had become.

At the time of this story, Ben is now twenty-six years old, only having qualified to be an Auror five years previous, not long before Tonks.  He has no political aspirations and is included in the initial meetings at Grimmauld Place merely as a body guard. He was chosen because Kingsley has worked with him in the past, trusts him, and quite simply, likes him. 

Since qualifying, Ben has been discretely using his connections as an Auror to discover the identity of the Death Eater who was responsible for the death of his mother.  The trauma-clouded memories of a six-year old boy, however, did not prove enough, and he never found out anything more about it.  Until the evening in the Black family home when he stumbled upon an old photograph of Regulus Black.  I want you to understand the turmoil in his mind at learning that the man he had spent the past twenty years hating had, in fact, reformed and given his life to help defeat Voldemort. 

Early on, I had a lot of questions about why he (and other characters) stayed at the Ministry even after it fell, and to that I will say this: While very idealistic, he is also practical.  Eamon was careful to teach him this, learning from his own mistakes. Ben is as influenced by his trauma in the first war as Gawain is, though in a different way.  Moreover, with Eamon gone, Ben has no family and, while many friends, none who would risk their lives for him if he were to get on the wrong side of the Death Eaters. That is not to say he didn’t find his own ways to fight back.  Remember Yaxley’s raining office in “Magic is Might” DH?  That was all him.

And, as a bonus, here's an AI generated image that very roughly looks like the Ben in my head, for those interested. Very roughly... this bloke is a little too classically handsome for my liking, but AI can only seem to manage handsome or deranged and nothing in between.

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Sunlight Through the Curtains

She was well past ready to get up. She didn’t know how long she had been lying there awake, but it was long enough that the slant of bright sunlight slicing through the gap in the curtains had moved in an arc across the ceiling. From the angle of the light, she calculated it was likely at least half-past ten, but she couldn’t see the clock from here. Her bladder was fit to burst and there was a rumble in her stomach as she contemplated what to cook for breakfast and hell, but she could murder a cup of tea right now.  Still, she didn’t rise. Her head turned to look at the sleeping face on the pillow beside her. He’d fallen asleep with his hand on her breast. His breath moved in and out through his nose in long, soft snores. Harry always could sleep like the dead on a Sunday morning.  She looked back to the ceiling, feeling the weight of his hand holding her there as though, even in sleep, he feared losing her. It was sweet. But damn, she really had to pee. Slowly, so as to avoid waking him, she rolled to her side, intending to swing her feet over the edge of the bed. His hand slipped down to rest over her navel as she did. Reflexively, without waking, Harry let out a soft sigh, wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her backwards against him. Her body moulded against his snuggly, arse pressed firmly against his pelvis. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest against her back, feel each exhale tickling the hair at her neck. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt the resigned smile stretch across her lips. She groped blindly for her wand on her bedside table. When at last her fingers had managed to grasp it, she flicked it at the curtains. The gap snapped shut with a slight clatter of the rings, and the streak of sunshine flickered out.  Her bladder could wait a little longer.

(Also on AO3 here)

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Just a little suggestion for anyone who needs it….

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Me:

"Well, I just finished a big writing project. It was definitely a labour of love, I poured sweat, blood, and tears into it, it weighed on me for a decade and a half. I'm not feeling ready to undertake anything quite so ambitious, so let's keep my next project light. I'd really like something I don't have to take too seriously. "How about I write a story for my niece? Yes. She's only nine-and-a-half, so that will help keep me from going over-board. She loves Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and desperately wants to travel but hasn't gotten to see much of the world because her little brother isn't old enough yet. So let's write a little story about Newt as he travels the world and just have fun little adventures with cute animals together. We'll keep in simple, keep it fluffy, keep it light-hearted. We'll keep it episodic so it's easy to follow in case her attention wavers. Yes, a nice GA story, that's the ticket."

Also me:

*Reads entire Fantastic Beasts encyclopedia and catalogs where Newt would likely come across each beast geographically

*Feverishly reads The Thirteen Problems by Agatha Christie to draw inspiration on telling mysteries in short-story form

*Binge-watches the entire first season of Downton Abbey in one day to study dress and the different ways of talking between classes and age-groups at the turn of the century

*Browser search history:

How many days would it take to travel from Britain to Greece by passenger boat in 1913

What kind of toilets did passenger ships have in 1913

When did people start saying "Mum" rather than "Mama"?

Greek mythos involving the chimaera

Greece's role in WWI

History of the Balkan Wars

Assassination of King George I of Greece

Gods send help. Someone please teach me how to not take this silly little hobby seriously.

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Soo...what's next?

Mostly sleep.

And gradually working my way through answering the many wonderful comments/reviews/DMs I have received over the past two weeks.

I may, however, have a little something else planned for the near future... I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

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Thank you so much, heatherleighann, for the beautiful mood board and the beautiful words.

So very touched by the lovely response KwtL has received these past few days, and many thanks to all the pocket friends who have reached out with congratulations. You are where I look!

I came back just to post this here so I could tag @ala-baguette 🥹 Knowing Where To Look is officially complete and if you haven’t read it yet you should. It’s post war, and Gawain Robards is our main man. This fic is so unlike anything else I’ve read and i just love it so much. Seeing Mary as an adult just made my heart so happy but also hurt so much. Just please do yourself a favor and read this. You won’t regret it.

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On April 28, 2009, I posted the very first chapter of this story.  Today-- fourteen years, eight months, and three weeks later-- I posted the last.

I didn’t plan for this story to take me a decade and a half to write.  I didn’t plan to take a ten-year hiatus halfway through.  But life happened and the responsibilities of adulthood overtook the ambitions of youth. Still, never once in all those years did I forget about my story.  Never once did I consider it abandoned.  Through it all, I always intended to go back to it. To the writers out there worrying that it has been too long since their last update to continue: There is no such thing.  To those worrying they are too old: There is no such thing.  To those worrying they are too busy to update frequently enough: There is no such thing.  If writing brings you joy, write.  Don’t worry about the timeline, don’t worry about how often you can or cannot update.  Don’t worry about whether you might be losing readers—the readers that matter will wait (believe it or not, I actually had a few readers still there waiting for me after ten years without a word!).  And even if none do wait, you’ll find new readers along the way.  If it brings you joy, then write. To the readers out there anxiously waiting for an update from their favourite authors:  Tell them.  No, don’t just drop a kudos and move on.  Leave the comment, write the review, DM them, it doesn’t matter, just tell them!  You never know when a simple message saying that you are still there waiting might make an author pick up their quill again. And finally, to my own readers.  My wonderful, glorious, patient, kind-hearted, and encouraging readers.  I would never have finished this story without you.  This story exists because of you.  I write because of you.  Thank you.

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OK but now I really want your "whole meta" about how "Remus talks about Harry when Harry's not around" because, ow my heart!

Im never sure on how to feel about Lupin, because on the surface he's likable, but under that-- where you been, dude? Would love to have you change my mind!

Noooo! Don't Tempt Me, Anon! No, really. I would love to, but maybe let's revisit that after I'm done with Knowing Where to Look. I could totally talk about Remus all day, but at this point it would just look like procrastination (which it definitely is). What I will offer you today: Remus is a character you have to love for his flaws. Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately?) clinically depressed blurbos completely lacking in self-worth are my peeps. To paraphrase my thoughts on this topic for now:

Remus's absence is not about his feelings for Harry; it's about his feelings for himself.

I'll leave it at that for now and perhaps one day we'll come back with a proper meta on the subject. In the meantime, however, I have several Remus-centric fics I can offer to showcase some of my views on Remus and his relationship with Harry. I somehow always come back to writing Remus and he is featured heavily in several of my Left Behind stories as well as one of my early long fics. I will link here in case you have not read them and are interested:

A Life Filled with Laughter and Ice Cream, Florean Fortescue's Left Behind installment. This one is probably the most relevant to his relationship with Harry (or lack there of). Set during PoA, Florean and Remus share an ice cream and a chat about their lives during and since the first war.

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables, Remus Lupin's Left Behind installment. Remus takes another stroll down memory lane (and the streets of Godric's Hollow) after his argument with Harry in DH.

To Crave a Dementor's Kiss, Nymphadora Tonks's Left Behind installment. The Remadora story from OotP through HBP. This one is less about Remus's relationship with Harry and more about his relationship with Tonks, but I do think it's a look at some of my feelings on his characterization. (One of these days I'd like to return to this one and rework it-- This was a very early Left Behind story and I was still finding my stride.)

A Lonely Path, my first long fic. An AU with a paternal Remus-Harry relationship. I add this to this list with some hesitancy as it is long, has less basis in canon, is quite old and my views and writing have changed, contains a fair amount of wish-fulfillment regarding Remus's ability to love, and I wrote it when I was 19, so it's rather an immature plot. However, I also don't feel like I can list my writing featuring Remus and not include it. If you chose to take the plunge into my 19 year-old mind, take it with a grain of salt, a little grace, and more as a way to see how my views on this character have evolved over the years.

Thanks for the Ask, Anon, and sorry to not answer you properly. Hope these fics can satiate you for the time being. Now I've got a final chapter of Knowing Where to Look to write!

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Could you tell us more about Kingsleys fondness and protectiveness of Harry. Love u to bits xxxx

What’s that?  A Kingsley Shacklebolt meta, you say?  Don’t mind if I do!

A relatively common and much-loved comment I get from some of my readers is that they never gave Kingsley much of a second thought before reading Knowing Where to Look.  Let’s change that, because I need company in over-thinking about random side characters.  Plus, I find Kingsley Shacklebolt so damn cool and other people should too!  For such a small character who is mostly just in the background throughout canon, I am always so impressed by the volumes of information one can glean from his tiny one sentence lines.  So, let’s start by looking at a few of these moments.

I’ll begin with the first time we meet him in Order of the Phoenix where he is part of the Advance Guard.  I remember just falling in love with Kingsley right from the first time I read this chapter at roughly 2am the night the book was released.  A few notable lines I present for consideration:

“‘Yeah, I see what you mean, Remus […]  He looks exactly like, James.’”

“‘A surprising number of people volunteered to come and get you,’ said Lupin as though he had read Harry’s mind; the corners of his mouth twitched slightly.”

“‘Remus says you’re a good flier,’ said Kingsley Shacklebolt in his deep voice.  ‘He’s excellent,’ said Lupin […]”

“Kingsley Shacklebolt and Sturgis Podmore were examining the microwave and Hestia Jones was laughing at a potato peeler […]”

“‘I’m just telling the boy the plan,’ growled Moody. ‘Our job’s to deliver him safely to headquarters, and if we die in the attempt—’   ‘No one’s going to die,’ said Kingsley Shacklebolt in his deep, calming voice.”

Information I infer from this first encounter:

Kingsley is highly trusted by Dumbledore and the rest of the Order despite having only been a member for a month or so.  (I’m fairly certain he was not in the Order during the first war.)

Kingsley knew James on a personal level.  He’s on a first-name basis, he remembers his appearance well, and Remus would have had no other reason to comment that Harry looked like him if he did not.

Kingsley is curious about Harry—likely in part secondary to Harry’s fame, but also, I suspect, on a more personal level (whether his apparent past relationship with James or his current one with Remus and Sirius).

Remus talks about Harry when Harry’s not around (I could probably write a whole meta on this sad and sweet observation, but I shall resist and stick to the topic at hand).  We’ll come back to this.

He’s pure-blood or at least was raised with minimal exposure to Muggle technology.

He’s calm and level-headed and not afraid to call out melodrama, though he’ll do so patiently, respectfully, and gently. 

We have several smaller encounters going forward in OotP that I also find telling:

“[Kingsley and Mr. Weasley] were talking to each other as though they hardly knew each other. […] ‘Here,’ said Kingsley brusquely to Mr. Weasley, shoving a sheaf of parchment into his hand, ‘I need as much information as possible on flying Muggle vehicles sighted in the last twelve months.  We’ve received information that Black might still be using his old motorcycle.’  Kinglsey tipped Harry an enormous wink and added, in a whisper, ‘Give him the magazine, he might find it interesting.’  Then he said in normal tones, ‘And don’t take too long, Weasley, the delay on that firelegs report held up our investigation for a month.’”

“‘Molly, I’ll be late, I’m covering for Tonks, but Kingsley might be dropping in for dinner—'”

Harry caught the sound of his own name.  Kingsley Shacklebolt’s deep voice was audible even over the surrounding chatter.  ‘—why Dumbledore didn’t make Potter a prefect?” said Kingsley.  ‘He’ll have had his reasons,’ replied Lupin.  ‘But it would’ve shown confidence in him.  It’s what I’d’ve done,’ persisted Kingsley.  ‘’specially with the Daily Prophet having a go at him every few days…’

“Kingsley had run forward to continue Sirius’s duel with Bellatrix.”

“‘Alastor Moody, Nymphadora Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Remus Lupin were all at headquarters [with Sirius] when [Snape] made contact.’”

My take-aways:

Kingsley has a good poker-face and can act a part that is required of him.

Kingsley is kind and considerate.  He goes out of his way to send Sirius a copy of the Quibbler with an article featuring Sirius/Stubby Boardman, for no other reason than to make Sirius smile in a time when Sirius had precious little to smile about.  Kingsley, in other words, is a big ol’ sweetie.

Kingsley drops in for dinner and any little festivities that happen at headquarters or with the Weasleys a few times throughout the series and is clearly welcomed any time, even when not truly on Order business.  Along with this, I speculate he doesn’t have much by way of family or close personal connections outside of his friends at the Order.

Even when he has only just met Harry, Kingsley is already concerned for his feelings (not just his physical safety) when Dumbledore doesn’t make Harry a prefect.  He is observant enough to notice that Harry is out of sorts and disappointed, which no other character particularly seems to notice.  He’s already attuned to Harry’s moods even then.

Also from this same moment, we see that Kingsley is one of the few characters who doesn’t seem to entirely blindly assume everything Dumbledore does is best.  He doubts Dumbledore’s judgment when he doesn’t make Harry a prefect. What else might he doubt?

Kingsley is brave and loyal.  He jumps in to duel with the most ruthless Death Eater present who just killed his friend.  Later, he does it again with Voldemort who he believes has just killed Harry.

Moody, Tonks, Remus, Sirius, and Kingsley are often described together.  From their interactions, I see these five having a particular bond, beyond that of simply colleagues.  They’re friends. What do all of Kingsley’s friends have in common?  (1) They all have affection for Harry they show in one form or another throughout the series.  (2) They all die.  I’ll let that sit for a moment—we’ll come back to it.

Now we come to The Half Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows:

“‘I’m not getting rid of Kingsley Shacklebolt, if that’s what you’re suggesting!’ said the Prime Minister hotly.  ‘He’s highly efficient, gets through twice the work as the rest of them—’”

“‘All right,’ [Uncle Vernon] said, stopping in front of Harry yet again. ‘All right, let’s say, for the sake of argument, we accept this protection.  I still don’t see why we can’t have that Kingsley bloke.’  Harry managed not to roll his eyes, but with difficulty.  This question had also been addressed half a dozen times.  ‘As I’ve told you,’ he said through gritted teeth, ‘Kingsley is protecting the Mug—I mean, your Prime Minister.’  ‘Exactly— he’s the best!’ said Uncle Vernon, pointing at the blank television screen.  The Dursleys had spotted Kingsley on the news, walking along discreetly behind the Muggle Prime Minister as he visited a hospital.  This, and the fact that Kingsley had mastered the knack of dressing like a Muggle, not to mention a certain reassuring something in his slow, deep voice, had caused the Dursleys to take to Kingsley in a way that they had certainly not done with any other wizard, although it was true that they had never seen him with his earring in.”

“‘Miss Granger with Kingsley, again by thestral—’ Hermione looked reassured as she answered Kingsley’s smile.

“Kingsley showed no pleasure at the sight of any of them.  Over Hermione’s shoulder, Harry saw him raise his wand and point it at Lupin’s chest.  ‘The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?’  ‘Harry is the best hope we have.  Trust him,’ said Lupin calmly.  […] ‘All right, all right!’ said Kingsley, stowing his wand back beneath his cloak.  ‘But someone betrayed us!  They knew, they knew it was tonight!’   ‘So it seems,’ replied Lupin, ‘but apparently they did not realize that there would be seven Harrys.’  ‘Small comfort!’ snarled Kingsley.

“‘Now they’ve put a Taboo on [Voldemort’s name], anyone who says it is trackable—quick-and-easy way to find Order members!  They nearly got Kingsley—'  ‘You’re kidding?’  ‘Yeah, a bunch of Death Eaters cornered him, Bill said, but he fought his way out.  He’s on the run now, just like us.’

“‘I’d like to appeal to all our listeners to emulate their example, perhaps casting a protective charm over any Muggle dwellings in your street.  Many lives could be saved if such simple measures are taken.’  ‘And what would you say, Royal, to those listeners who reply that in these dangerous times, it should be Wizards first?’ asked Lee.  ‘I’d say that it’s one short step from Wizards first to Purebloods first, and then to Death Eaters,’ replied Kingsley.  ‘We’re all human, aren’t we?  Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.’

“[…] Kingsley had stepped forward on the raised platform to address those who had remained behind [to take part in the Battle of Hogwarts].  ‘We’ve only got half an hour until midnight, so we need to act fast!  A battle plan has been agreed between the teachers of Hogwarts and the Order of the Phoenix.’

“Voldemort was now dueling McGonagall, Slughorn, and Kingsley all at once.”

“One shivering second of silence, the shock of the moment suspended: and then the tumult broke around Harry as the screams and the cheers and the roars of the watchers rent the air.  The fierce new sun dazzled the windows as they thundered toward him, and the first to reach him were Ron and Hermione, and it was their arms that were wrapped around him, their incomprehensible shouts that deafened him.  Then Ginny, Neville, and Luna were there, and then all the Weasleys and Hagrid, and Kingsley and McGonagall and Flitwick and Sprout, and Harry could not hear a word that anyone was shouting, nor tell whose hands were seizing him, pulling him, trying to hug some part of him […]”

Observations:

Kingsley is likeable and has a skill for garnering trust.  Both the Prime Minister and Uncle Vernon trust him despite having a general dislike for wizard-kind.

Kingsley is clever and adaptable and a good actor.  We see fascination with a microwave in OotP suggesting he had minimal exposure to the Muggle world, but by DH, he is already able to play the part of a Muggle, dress like them, and conform to their society, something that the likes of Arthur Weasley, who has obsessively studied Muggles for years, never manages.  He even knows enough to take out his earing (which he otherwise always seems to wear) to better appeal to the Dursleys conservative views.

A small speculation to which we can never know an answer but… Given that he knew Harry was listening, is it possible Kingsley’s choice of security question for Remus was intentionally chosen to offer Harry a little assurance that they had faith in him?

Kingsley is constantly described as calm and cool throughout all sorts of strife in the series, be he is not entirely unflappable.  After the Battle of the Seven Potters, the man is visibly livid, and I love it!  At no other time do we see so many exclamation marks in his speech.  He has suddenly been forced to face the possibility that one of his friends betrayed them, and he is not okay!  Even after this speech, he is totally flustered: he laughs derisively at Hermione’s naivety in an uncharacteristically impatient way; he seems panicked when he hears Voldemort had gone after Harry directly; he’s pacing the yard in a way that reminds Harry of Uncle Vernon as they’re waiting for the others to come back; he nearly comes to blows when Arthur arrives and is trying to get past him to see George… Can someone just please give the man a hug?  (Obviously, this is a trait I’ve exploited in KwtL.  Betrayal by a friend is definitely a sore spot for him.) 

The Trio sees Kingsley as untouchable.  Hermione’s relieved to be paired with him when they leave the Dursley’s house (and to not have to ride a broom).  Harry’s shocked to hear of him in hiding in much the same way they are.  They’re thrilled when they hear him speaking on the radio.  They have unwavering awe and respect for Kingsley.

Again, I speculate that Kingsley doesn’t have a romantic partner or children.  When Kingsley goes on the run, there is no mention of family which would have been a big concern if he had one. 

Kingsley has a strong sense of morality and a drive to stand up for those weak and defenseless. Despite the fact that his blood status and that his family was one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight would likely allow him to simply sit out the war safely, he’s still in the midst of it, constantly fighting for the little guy.

Kingsley is a natural leader, but he really only takes up the mantel when he has to (ie, Dumbledore and Moody are dead and the Order is leaderless)

Just another reminder that Kingsley dueled Voldemort and he’s a badass.

Kingsley is one of the first to rush to Harry after he’s defeated Voldemort.  He’s listed among all the people who love Harry most.  (Shut up, I’m not crying, you’re crying.)

So we come to what is perhaps more your question, kind Anon. What is Harry and Kingsley’s relationship like post-war.  As you point out, I write him as having fondness and protectiveness for Harry right from the beginning of Knowing Where to Look, and I have had readers challenge me (kindly) that Harry and Kingsley really weren’t that close in canon. 

I’ll agree that Harry was not close with Kingsley, but I’m here to argue that that’s not entirely true the other way around.  I think there’s subtle hints that Kingsley was fond and protective of Harry in canon.  Whenever Kingsley knew Harry was in danger, he came running.  I don’t think that was just duty to the Order.  There’s a personal component there as well.

We know that at least Remus and likely Sirius spoke of Harry amongst other Order members.  Before he even met Harry, Kingsley would have heard about Harry in ways that most strangers would not have heard of him.  It’s almost certain he knew many of the details of Harry’s experience in the graveyard when Voldemort returned (most all Order members would have been briefed on this when the Order was reestablished). He had likely heard tales from Sirius and Remus of how Harry braved Dementors and werewolves and time travel to rescue Sirius.  Maybe even rumors of his exploits with the Chamber of Secrets and the Philosopher’s Stone which Remus may have picked up from other professors when he taught at Hogwarts.  Remus even spoke of Harry enough to have mentioned that he looked like James— something that would have had no bearing on the mission.  The point is, the people surrounding Kingsley loved Harry, and I think that affection would naturally have bled into him just from the types of stories they were likely to tell about him. 

Then, all those people who surrounded Kingsley and who loved Harry die.  I think it’s very natural that as his friends— who were all so committed to protecting Harry— all died one-by-one, Kingsley would have taken up that mantel and felt the need to protect him in their place.  Even if it wasn’t one hundred percent from his own personal affection at first, he would have felt this a duty he owed his departed friends who all died in the name of keeping Harry safe.  After Harry emerges from hiding, older and more independent than ever, I think it would have been challenging for Kingsley to accept that Harry is not that kid he needs to protect (hence his sometimes-unwelcome paternal instincts in KwtL).  Furthermore, given my theory that he is without family and especially after the loss of so many Order friends and colleagues, post-war Kingsley may have been a little starved for affection himself which may have encouraged him to reach out more to Harry as he struggled with the isolation of his position of power. 

In conclusion, Kingsley loves Harry, and no one can convince me otherwise.  He’s prepared to give up his career for him, and though Harry would be completely devastated to know it, he’s prepared to give up his life for him. 

(A few random and less-related but perhaps still interesting headcanons:  As I mentioned above, I doubt he is married or has children.  I headcanon him married to his job and decidedly single and generally fine with that (who knows, maybe even aroace?).  I know his age is never really stated or implied, but I headcanon him to be a few years older than the Mauraders.  His vibe in the books just says forty-something for some reason.  My completely unfounded headcanon is that the Shacklebolt and Potter Families were friends—Kingsley’s and James’s parents moved in the same social circles, throwing Kingsley and James together enough growing up to be friendly but not besties.  Friendly enough that he may have attended Lily and James’s wedding, for example, but not so friendly as to have followed him into the Order the first time around.  Again, these bits are purely my imagination and yes have no real importance to the story.)

Thanks for the Ask, Anon!  I clearly have thought way too much about this. I hope you enjoy the insights into how my brain builds on characterization as I’m writing some of these smaller side-characters. Love ya back!

[ala-baguette]

You are anything but mediocre. Not to discredit your feelings… just to give you another perspective. Have a nice evening my love

[ala-baguette]