#trying to embrace my mediocrity

[ala-baguette]

[padmerrie]

Muscle Memory (Bookends AU) [1.2K; AO3]

Summary: Minato takes a break from the campaign grind with a sleeping Naruto in tow and stumbles upon his three former students.

ᓚᘏᗢ    ᓚᘏᗢ    ᓚᘏᗢ    

“One.  Two.  Three!” 

Obito, Kakashi, and Rin dropped their sticks into the water and raced to the other side of the bridge.  They braced themselves against the railing, eyes fixed on the river below, their collective breath held in anticipation, waiting.  Watching.

Three sticks appeared, one stick slightly ahead of the other two.

Obito glared at Kakashi.

“You keep dropping yours early,” he snapped.  On his other side, Rin laughed.  

“He’s not dropping it early, Obito.  It’s just luck.”

“Call it whatever you want,” Obito grumbled.  He hopped off the bottom railing and jabbed a thumb to his chest.  “I’m picking the sticks this time.”   

Kakashi made a noncommittal sound, still watching their sticks being swept downstream.  “Rin picked them out last time.”

Obito waved him off with a disgruntled noise, not looking back as he jogged off to retrieve three new sticks from the river’s shore.  

“My, what have I stumbled upon?  An after school physics lesson?”

Rin and Kakashi turned to find their favorite teacher strolling towards them pushing a baby carriage. 

“Minato-sensei!” Rin exclaimed happily.  Her eyes lit up as they landed on the carriage, but Minato pressed a finger to his lips before she could open her mouth again.

“He’s sleeping.  It’s new,” he added with a tired but not unhappy chuckle.  He beckoned them over with a wave of his hand.  Rin was by Minato’s side in an instant.  She gave a delighted gasp, then looked up and waved to Kakashi.  

“Get over here!” she hissed in a whisper. 

Kakashi sighed and dropped off the railing, slipping his hands in his pockets and walking over to them with all the urgency of a tortoise crossing a road.  He hovered by Rin’s shoulder and peered into the bassinet.  It was a sight indeed - mostly because this was possibly the first time Kakashi had ever seen Naruto asleep.

“I’m surprised to see you out, sensei,” Rin said, keeping her voice soft.  “The only time we see you these days is on campaign signs.”  

“Oh those,” Minato chuckled, looking away embarrassed.  “It’s a little much.  Even Kushina said she’s tired of seeing my face everywhere.”

“I saw you on TV yesterday,” Rin continued.  Her lips quirked to the side.  “The camera loves you, sensei.”

Minato’s cheeks flushed.  “I’m glad you think so, but I’ll admit, the feeling is pretty one-sided.  I’ll be glad when this campaign is over next month.�� Win or lose.”

“We miss you at school.”

“I miss you all too.  And I miss teaching.  But I truly believe I can do more as governor.  Not just for my students, but for all of Konoha.”  

“What will you do if you lose, sensei?” Rin asked.  Kakashi tch-ed in disapproval, but Minato only smiled. 

“Exactly what I said I’d do when I announced my candidacy.”  Minato looked between Rin and Kakashi.  “No one is handed a road map to achieving their dreams, so one must conclude that there is no one right way to get there.  I don’t have to be governor to make Konoha a better place.” 

Kakashi, still studying Naruto from a distance, said, “You’re going to win, sensei.” 

Minato’s expression softened much in the way it had when he looked in the carriage.  He laid a hand on Kakashi’s shoulder.  “I hope you’re right.”

There was a clattering of noise and all three turned to see Obito standing at the end of the bridge, a pile of sticks lying forgotten at his feet.  

“Minato-sensei!” 

A squalling howl cracked through the air, no build-up, no warning.  Everyone’s eyes snapped to the baby carriage.  

“Nice job,” Kakashi said, frowning peevishly at Obito.  “You woke Naruto up.”  

“It’s ok, Kakashi,” Minato said unperturbed.  “It was going to happen sooner or later.  A butterfly could wake him up.”  He reached into the carriage and lifted Naruto into the air and cradled him to his chest, bouncing him gently and cooing sweet nothings until his cries faded to a more tolerable squabbling. 

“We were just talking about the election,” Rin told Obito as he joined them.  His face lit up.

“I saw you on TV yesterday!”

“Not you too,” Minato lamented, color returning to his cheeks. 

“I sure did!  You kicked those old geezers’ asses in the debate!”

From over Naruto’s head, Minato hit his former student with a stern look.  “Those old geezers have names, Obito.”

“My Gramps can’t stand Danzo,” Obito went on like he hadn’t heard him.  “And he says the only thing Hiruzen Sarutobi should have authority over this late in his life is his burial plot.” 

“Oh!”  Minato’s expression froze in a state of shock.  “Well, that’s, uh,” he stammered, struggling to find an appropriate response.  “I-I appreciate their vote.” 

Kakashi caught Rin’s eye and murmured, “Spoken like a true politician.”  She smiled at him as Obito shook his head emphatically.

“Oh, they’re not voting for you.  Madara says if Danzo’s egomania doesn’t run this province into the ground, then your idealism will.  I guess that leaves Sarutobi…” Obito trailed off thoughtfully.  “I bet Gramps is counting on him dying during his tenure.”

Minato stared.  

“Hashirama says if this doesn’t work out, you should consider recording audiobooks.  He said he could listen to your voice all day.  Just not your politics.”

“Oh my.  That’s…”  Minato looked around at the three of them, flustered for words before abruptly saying, “Would anyone like to hold Naruto?” 

There was a resounding YES from at least two of his former students. 

Kakashi watched as his friends fought for custody of Naruto, neither one content with simply holding Naruto for a minute and letting go.  Naruto didn’t seem bothered in the slightest being the object of their power struggle.  He babbled senselessly, regardless, his earlier tears long since dried.  There was only one thing that would call for a ceasefire. 

“No,” Kakashi said narrowly.  This was directed at Rin who, despite Kakashi’s clear refusal, only took an undeterred step into his orbit.

“Just for a minute,” she insisted.  “Trust me.”

Kakashi’s hands might as well have been sewn into his pant’s pockets.  He stared defiantly down his nose at the squirming baby in Rin’s arms, all squishy and pink and foreign.  Even though he’d had numerous encounters with him, every interaction felt like the first, which was to say that the experience never ceased to make him uncomfortable.     

Kakashi’s eyes flicked back up to Rin, still watching him.  The shroud of carefully constructed aloofness that he wore like a second skin slipped a little.  He sighed, and held out his arms. 

And then Kakashi couldn’t feel them. 

The only thing he felt was the unfathomable weight of a very small, very real human life cradled to his chest.  Being a baby, Naruto possessed the misfortune of being both easily breakable and highly unpredictable.  While Kakashi didn’t hold this against him - he was a baby - these were two qualities that Kakashi did not care for.  He would have very much liked to hand him back to Rin, but a steadying hand on his shoulder held the urge back.  

Kakashi looked up over his shoulder and watched Minato watching Naruto.  His expression was so familiar that it nudged a memory out of place.  He turned away.  Feeling hadn’t returned to his arms, but he held Naruto a little tighter all the same.   

[girlgenius1111]

study buddy

solstråle engen ft. @wileys-russo 's fresa! sol struggles with school, and facing the threat of having to repeat the year, ingrid and mapi try to get her some study help. it doesn't go... exceptionally well.

—

It was more frustrating than anything. For years, you hadn’t really given school much thought, or put in very much effort. And then, suddenly, you’d been shipped off to Spain and everything was different. Everything changed again six months later, and suddenly, school felt like something that held a lot more weight.

You didn’t have many opportunities to make Ingrid and Mapi proud of you. Sure, they’d say they were proud of you when you asked for help while having a panic attack, or for setting some sort of boundary. That just didn’t feel… right. It didn’t feel like it was enough. They were bending over backwards, every day, to make you feel known and seen and loved, and the least you could do was show that they were helping you, right?

So, very suddenly, school was important. Grades were important. It seemed, though, that the years of not caring and not paying attention had taken their toll. Because you studied, and you actually tried but it wasn’t enough. Your grades were still… mediocre. Nothing to brag about. 

You worked harder, to no avail. You tried different methods of studying, you devoted hours and hours to your schoolwork, and… no improvement. So much of your work felt like it went way over your head. 

You had promised yourself you wouldn’t be upset when you handed Ingrid the test you’d gotten back. She had a busy week and she really didn’t need you breaking down over a stupid test, like you had earlier in the school bathroom. Your plan was to bypass your sister and her girlfriend, head straight to your room, and maybe slam the door. If you acted angry, they were more likely to give you space to calm down, which meant there was much less of a chance you’d get all pathetic and upset.  

Only, you’d forgotten that Ingrid had known you were getting the test back today, having seen you study and study and study for it. Your sister was sure that since you studied so much, it must be a good grade, and she had a magnet all ready to attach your exam to the fridge. 

The minute you walked into the house and saw her waiting in the kitchen, freshly showered from training, an expectant and excited look on her face, you shrunk in on yourself, very suddenly wanting a hug more than you wanted to cry silently into your pillow all alone.

“How’d you do?!” Ingrid asked excitedly, her smile only faltering when your lip began to wobble. “Solstråle?”

“I’m sorry.” You choked out tugging the collar of your shirt up over your eyes before she could see you begin to cry. Ingrid’s arms were wrapping around you only a moment later, holding you tight against her as she floundered, confused as to what had upset you.

“Hey, it’s okay. Whatever happened, it’s alright. I’ve got you.” Ingrid promised, making eye contact over your head with Mapi, who had wandered into the kitchen and caught sight of you trembling against your sister. 

Ingrid thought something must have happened at school, and Mapi quickly came to the same conclusion. The thought that you’d done poorly on your test, and this was the reason behind your distress, never even crossed her mind. Ingrid had never known you to care much about your grades, and while you were trying harder now, she didn’t think something like a bad result could get you this upset. 

“I’m really sorry. I tried my best.” You whimpered, briefly wondering when you’d turned into this person who cried at the drop of a hat and allowed her sister to hug you whenever you were upset. It was so different. Everything was so different. 

“What are you sorry for?” She asked, heart melting a bit as Mapi walked closer and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, before perching on the counter. “Tell me, Sol, tell me what’s wrong.” 

Wordlessly, you withdrew from the comforting embrace of your sister and swung your bag off your shoulder. You unzipped it, pulling out the exam from the red folder Ingrid had neatly labeled for you. You handed it to her, eyes brimming with tears again at the sight of all the red marks all over the first page. 

Ingrid’s first instinct was to sigh, but you’d been with her long enough for her to know you’d just shut down. Not to mention that she knew how much work you’d been putting into this specific exam. Prepared to ask you what had gone wrong, she looked up to see that the tears had stopped. There wasn’t a hint of emotion on your face, like you were preparing yourself to be yelled at. Ingrid had no such plans.

“Oh, Sol. Kjære, come here.” She said instead, pulling you back into her. There was some hesitation on your part, but after a second you melted into the hug, knowing that if Ingrid was upset, she would have told you so by now. “You studied so hard, I’m sorry it didn’t go well.” 

“I’m sorry.” You said again, frowning when Ingrid pulled back and placed both her hands on your face, tilting your head up to look at her. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You tried your best, that’s all I want from you.”

You shook your head, but didn’t say anything, instead opting to stare at your shoes. You hadn’t taken them off at the door, breaking one of Ingrid and Mapi’s rules. This additional mistake, regardless of how small it was, made you feel even worse. You couldn’t do anything right. 

A tattooed hand grabbed yours, and you looked up at Mapi. She had moved closer, holding the exam in one hand, her other gripping yours. 

“This is a passing grade, mi sol. Why are you so upset? It’s not like you to get so worked up over school.” Your face flushed, but before you could step away, Mapi’s grip tightened, as if she’d sensed you were about to run. “Come on, it’s us. You can tell us.” 

“I.. It’s not good enough.” You stammered, looking between your sister and her girlfriend with genuine despair written all across your face. “I wanted to do well. For both of you., I wanted you to be proud of me.” 

“Oh, Sol,” Ingrid sighed, exchanging a look with Mapi that only served to make you feel even more foolish. It had taken so much for you to admit why you were working so hard, and though you knew, logically, that Ingrid wasn’t trying to make you feel dumb, she had. 

You wrenched away from her, suddenly deciding that you didn't need her pity. Backing up until you hit the wall on the opposite side of the kitchen, you began to ramble. Unable to look either Ingrid or Mapi in the eye, you missed the sadness on their faces. “No, forget it. It’s fine. It’s really fine. It’s not a big deal, It’s my own fault, I’m too stupid to learn stuff my classmates already know-”

“Hey!” Mapi cut in, sounding uncharacteristically stern. “You are not stupid. Don’t ever say that again.” 

You froze, staring at her with your mouth agape. Ingrid took a cautious step closer, aware she was toeing a thin line between you breaking down again, and pushing you into anger. 

“You aren’t stupid.” Ingrid echoed. “You’re not stupid, and you know you aren’t. It’s just one exam, Sol, it doesn’t make or break anything.” 

At this, you averted your eyes, a blush creeping up your neck. This exam could be a determining factor in your educational career. Ingrid just didn’t really know that information yet. Like a bloodhound, though, Ingrid caught the scent of your secret, her eyebrows raising as she stared at you. 

“It doesn’t make or break anything, right?” 

It was a staring contest for a few moments, one you and Ingrid both knew she would win, yet you kept it going all the same. The silence became too intense, the gazes of your sister and her girlfriend breaking your resolve rather quickly. With a heavy sigh, you reached for your bag yet again and pulled out a slightly wrinkled envelope. 

Ingrid held her hand out expectantly, apprehension clear on her face. You handed her the envelope, eyes still training on the floor. 

“Solstråle. This is addressed to me.” Ingrid huffed, removing the letter from inside and beginning to read it. Mapi moved forward, peeking over her girlfriend’s shoulder, eyes quickly scanning over the letter. You braced yourself, prepared for the worst. 

The last time you’d brought home something like this… you’d ended up living in Spain. Which was potentially the best thing that could have happened, but you had a feeling the consequences of this letter wouldn’t work out as well. 

Your sister placed the paper down on the counter, raking her fingers through her hair as she thought for a moment. She wasn’t quite sure what to say. Part of her wanted to yell, but when was that ever the right choice? Before she could decide, María’s shoulder bumped into hers. Her girlfriend nodded in your direction, clearly trying to get Ingrid to see how terrified you were. 

And Ingrid couldn’t yell at you when you were like this, all sad and scared with your head bowed and your arms folded across your chest protectively. 

“Sol?” She said, her tone much quieter and kinder than you were expecting it to be. You looked up at her, shocked further to see that she didn’t look very angry. “Why didn’t you give this to me last week when they sent it?” 

Ingrid nodded towards the date on the letter, and you exhaled shakily. “I… I was hoping I could just try really hard for the rest of the year and do really well in all my classes and it would be fine.” 

Your sister nodded slowly, reading the letter over again. 

Mapi took the opportunity to chime in, her hand absentmindedly resting on your sister’s back, even as she fixed her warm gaze on you. “Nena, that is a lot for you to carry all by yourself. Having the threat of maybe needing to repeat the year hanging over your head… you should have told us.” 

You shrugged, blinking away the moisture pooling in your eyes at Mapi’s tone. “I didn’t want to disappoint you guys.” You mumbled. 

“You haven’t disappointed anyone!” Mapi exclaimed, frowning when you just scoffed in response. “I’m serious, Sol. We saw you study and study for this exam. You did your best, you’re doing your best. That’s all we can ask from you.” 

“My best isn’t good enough! I’m going to fail and have to repeat the year.” You cried, throwing your hands up in the air in exasperation. The mere thought of another year of school was horrifying. 

Ingrid finally put the letter down, a blazingly determined expression on her face. “No. You’re not going to fail anything. We’ll help you, we’ll reach out to your teachers, we’ll get you extra help. We’ll figure it out, Sol, but you’re not going to fail. Not if I have anything to say about it.” 

For anyone else, that may have sounded overbearing. For you, though, it just felt supportive. It felt like you weren’t dealing with this yourself anymore, and that was a relief you didn’t know you needed. 

“Okay.” You said quietly. “Thanks.” 

Luckily, your sister knew you well enough to understand that after such an intense conversation, you’d need some time to yourself to process. 

“Hey,” Ingrid said, catching your wrist and turning you around slightly before you could leave the room. “I’m already proud of you, and the person you are. You could fail every test for the rest of your life, and I’d still be proud of you. Okay?”

You blinked at her for a prolonged second, before you nodded jerkily. Turning to head up the stairs to your room, you changed your mind, spinning back around and falling into your sister. She hugged you tight, as she always did, and you wondered briefly how you got so lucky. 

—

It was the following day that Mapi and Ingrid proposed their plan. Before they’d even said anything, you knew a few things. 

One, that they were excited about whatever plan they’d cooked up that day at training. 

And two, that you weren’t really going to have a choice in the matter. 

As a general rule, Ingrid and Mapi didn’t make you do many things. If they thought something was important, they’d encourage you to try it a few times, and then they’d let you stop if you still didn’t like it. That was how it had been for the school’s climbing club, the school’s hiking club, and the school’s baking club. All those were activities you enjoyed, but… activities you enjoyed doing yourself.

Well, not always.You loved to climb and hike with Ingrid. Frido, too, sometimes. And you could bake for hours with Mapi helping, measuring out ingredients and getting baking flour everywhere. But doing any of the above with strangers who spoke in rapid, fluent Spanish or catalan, was not fun. It was anxiety inducing. 

You knew this was about to be another one of those ideas, the ones you had to give a fair shot. 

It was at dinner, and you were trying to hide the wince everytime you picked up your water glass with your right hand, your wrist intensely aching after the time you spent in the climbing gym after school. It always hurt when you climbed for too long, though it was getting worse with every passing day. Another problem for another day, you decided, seeing the barely contained glee on Mapi’s face as she cleared her throat. 

“What?” You said suspiciously, putting your fork down and narrowing your eyes at the Spaniard. 

Mapi opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Ingrid chimed in. 

“Mapi’s made you a playdate!” She said, smirking when her girlfriend wacked her in the arm. 

“Ingrid, that is not going to help me convince her.” Mapi huffed, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. 

Still unamused, you continued to frown at Mapi. “I’d love it if you didn’t keep proposing ideas that you’d need to convince me of. Teaching you how to rock climb, trying to get that stain out of my favorite sweatshirt yourself, being the keeper while you practiced your free kicks, helping you build that bonfire–”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mapi dismissed. 

“You got stuck on the rock wall, my sweatshirt has a hole in it, the ball hit me so hard in the stomach I threw up, and both of us lost part of our eyebrows!” 

Mapi glared at you, while Ingrid hid her face behind her hand as her body shook with silent laughter. 

“Well this plan,” Mapi sighed, “is Ingrid AND Alexia approved.” 

That wiped the smile off your face. 

“Alexia? What does she have to do with this?” 

There were a few things you knew for certain about Mapi. One, she didn’t give up easily. Another, that she wanted more than anything for you to be friends with Alexia’s little sister. And from the sly smile on her face, you were almost sure you knew where this was headed. 

“I asked her to ask Fresa to tutor you!”

“No.” You said immediately. 

Mapi continued like you hadn’t spoken. “Fresa is a bit younger than you, but already finished your year! She’s studying to be a nurse, she’s very smart. Fres speaks English and she can help you with your Spanish and any other school things you need help with.” 

“No.” You repeated, looking helplessly at your sister. Ingrid looked to finally be taking the situation seriously, a familiar look on her face; one you knew meant that no matter how much you argued, she was going to get her way. Meanwhile, Mapi was still droning on. 

“–get along great with her! I think you guys have a lot in common, and it could be fun and educational!” 

“And you know all the best things are fun and educational.” Ingrid chimed in cheerily, this time her face telling you to go along with Mapi’s idea because she was excited about it, or else. 

“Educational.” You said sarcastically. “Super!” 

Still, you agreed, Mapi grinned at you, and Ingrid patted your back reassuringly. Mapi had a lot of bad ideas. You were pretty sure this would turn out to be the worst. 

—

You always spent more time at the climbing gym when things were rough. Back in Norway, you’d spend multiple hours a day, everyday, there. It was one of your tells; Ingrid always knew something was bothering you if you went to climb right after school. It was your way of shoving your emotions down before you could feel them, before your sister could read the hurt on your face and give you one of those tight hugs that brought tears to your eyes. 

Only, sometimes climbing didn’t do it. Sometimes, it felt like the walls were closing in, like you were about to suffocate, if you didn’t have some time completely by yourself to think. On those days, you really preferred to hike. You hadn’t felt that urge in a while; the urge to just disappear for hours, walk until your legs felt like they were going to fall up, and sit at the top of the trail until the world felt like a place you wanted to be in again. The last time had been back in Norway, after a day you didn’t even want to think about. 

Yet you found yourself in that same familiar mindset after your first study session with Fresa. 

It hadn’t gone well. You tried to go into it confident, sure that if you acted chill enough, she’d maybe miss that you had no idea what you were doing with your schoolwork. 

Confident, even as you arrived 15 minutes late. Scout had gotten his favorite toy, a small tiger that squeaked, stuck under the sofa, and it had taken you time you didn’t have to get it out for him. You could have left it, but Ingrid and Mapi weren’t home and you knew Scout would just sit by the couch and cry the whole time you were gone if you didn’t get his tiger out for him, and you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him to be so upset. And then you’d had a hard time finding a parking space at the library, and the directions inside were all in Spanish and Fresa had texted you to follow the signs to the study rooms but you misread the sign and went to the opposite end of the library before figuring out your mistake. And you would have texted you were going to be late, because you hated being late, but your phone was dead and the cord from your car had gone missing. 

When you entered the room, Fresa already looked annoyed. 

Annoyed, with her hair pulled back into a ponytail, twirling a pen repeatedly in an almost unconscious manner. She looked very… put together. 

“Llegas tarde.” She commented, rolling her eyes when you didn’t reply. Your face flushed a bit as she must have picked up on your confusion, repeating herself in english. “You are late.” 

Any other time, you would have known what she said. Your issue wasn’t really understanding Spanish, it was more speaking and reading it. You felt weirdly flustered though today, like your brain was distracted and not quite able to follow what the other girl was saying. Anxious, too, at this social situation you’d been forced into. 

Briefly, you thought about explaining about Scout and the tiger and the parking space and the signs being in Spanish, but then you realized Fresa wouldn’t care about any of that. So instead, you just nodded and apologized, feeling your heart start to pound from the anxiety of the situation. 

You didn’t like talking to new people. Especially pretty new people who spoke a different language and were looking at you like you weren’t very smart. Even if you thought that yourself… you didn’t want anyone else to think so. Any intention of actually asking Fresa for help with the mountains of stuff you were confused with went out the window, then, and you almost subconsciously decided to just… try to get through without letting her know quite how lost you were. 

Fresa was alarmingly smart. She kept asking you questions about your work, about what you needed help with. Everything didn’t feel like an answer you wanted to give. Fresa seemed organized, though, and you assumed letting her take the lead and decide what to work on would placate her. Instead, she just looked more and more annoyed with every passing second.

 She kept asking questions about this paper and that paper and you didn’t know what papers she was talking about. You felt so stupid. More stupid than when you’d failed your test last week. 

“How do you even find the right paper in there?” Fresa asked, pulling a judgemental look as you rifled through your bag, searching for the article she was asking for.

Your bag was a mess, you knew it was a mess. You’d knocked your coffee over all your folders a few days ago, sitting at the counter when Scout barked and startled you. That was oddly upsetting in and of itself because Ingrid had gotten you the folders and labeled them for you and you felt like you’d destroyed something nice she’d done for you. You hadn’t told her, not wanting to hurt her feelings or anything, so now your school papers were living crinkled and disorganized in your bag.

And you were pretty sure the article Fresa was asking for had been a casualty of the coffee incident, because you’d scanned the paper and thought it wasn’t important before throwing it out. The Spanish had confused you, and you hadn’t realized you’d need the article for an assignment. Stupid. 

 You were feeling more and more embarrassed as the minutes passed. And, maybe, your reaction to feeling embarrassed was always anger. You pulled out a random piece of paper, slamming it down onto the table with more force than necessary in your haste to give the Spaniard something. 

Fresa instantly knew that what you’d given her wasn’t the right article, asking again if you had it as you shoved the other paper back into your bag. 

Logically, you knew you should just… admit you threw it away because you didn’t realize you needed it. For some reason, you just couldn’t get the words out of your mouth. You couldn’t get any words out of your mouth, feeling shockingly like crying. Nothing was going right and you were making yourself look like an idiot and all you could do was shrug as Fresa looked at you and took a deep breath. 

Then, she seemed to come to some kind of realization, her expression softening slightly. 

“Can you not read this? The spanish?” 

You flinched, feeling your face flush. Again, the reply of ‘no I can’t, would you please help me?’ seemed to evade you. Instead, you spewed some lie about being able to read the article, calling Fresa’s questions stupid and telling her she was wasting your time. 

Fresa seemed to have reached her breaking point, her voice rising as yours had. You didn’t really hear what she said, much too distracted by the way her eyebrows knitted together when she was frustrated, and the way her hand tightly gripped the pen she was holding. 

Then, she made an offensive impression of your shrugging. And if you hadn’t been angry before, you were absolutely fuming now. 

So what if you were quiet? It wasn’t like you really needed to talk much, considering how many questions she’d asked. You were furious at being called out for all your bullshit, feeling like a mess compared to the perfect girl next to you. A very angry mess who’d had a long day and was cursing one María León for making her do this and cursing the beautiful girl next to her for being so infuriating.  

“Alexia’s super little sister. Everyone says you are so smart. Can you not see I do not want your help? You want to be a doctor, no? So go find someone who does.” 

Fresa’s nostrils flared as she shoved her chair away from the table and got to her feet. She began angrily putting her stuff into her bag, and you remained completely still, unable to stop this whole meeting from going up in flames. 

“Eres un maldita idiota!” Fresa snapped, her face red with anger. 

There wasn’t really anything worse she could have said to you at that moment. 

“Snobbete kjerring.” You threw back, feeling a sharp spike of satisfaction when she zipped her bag angrily, completely incapable of understanding what you’d called her. 

“You know, I did this as a favor, tonta. I have worked all day, I came right here after my shift, on time. I have my own studies to do because yes, I want to be a nurse. I am smart, and I know what I want to do with my life. Maybe if you get your head out of your own ass, Engen, you might too! And you are right, this is a waste of time. My time!”

Fresa stomped out of the room, then, and you waited until she was out of sight before dropping your head into your hands with a deep sigh. 

That couldn’t have gone… any worse. And though it was probably all mostly your fault, you couldn’t help the resentment building for the intelligent, stuck up girl that had thrown insult after insult at you, hitting you in all the places it hurt. You packed your own stuff up once you were sure you wouldn’t run into Fresa again in the parking lot or something, shuffling dejectedly to your car.

The overthinking had begun. Was it really overthinking, you wondered, if you’d actually completely fucked up and the reasons for your anxiety were entirely reasonable? You weren’t sure, and you supposed it didn’t matter, your thoughts quickly spiraling as you rewinded the short meeting in your head. 

The shrugging had really gotten to her, but you weren’t sure what else to do. When in doubt, you had learned silence got you the best results. Often, no one really cared what you had to say anyway. Fresa was different, though, looking at you with her wide eyes, expecting an answer. It was intimidating. It scared you, honestly, how well the other girl seemed to see right through you. 

And maybe… maybe there were some other feelings brewing. Ones you didn’t want to consider. Feeling that didn’t even matter given the way Fresa had stormed out. It didn’t seem like there would be another study session.

This led you to your other problem. You’d fucked this up. Something your sister and Mapi had gone out of their way to set up for you, because they didn’t want you to have to repeat the year. 

You didn’t like to make mistakes. Every single one you made carried the risk that Ingrid would lose her patience with you, and give up. She hadn’t yet, and you’d messed up a fair amount in the past several months, but you couldn’t let yourself believe that no mistake could push her away. That just wasn’t a possibility. So, rather than face your failure, tell Ingrid and Mapi how awkward and weird you’d been, you ran. 

Or walked, you supposed. Your study session with Fresa had ended at 4:00, and it was almost 8 when you found yourself at the top of your favorite trail, legs scratched and aching, as the sun slipped below the horizon. Your phone was still dead and now Ingrid was absolutely going to kill you for going off the grid. 

You broke traffic laws on the way home, any peace you’d found at the top of the hiking trail entirely gone as anxiety began to build up inside of you again. 

Stepping into the house, you slipped off your muddy shoes, wincing at the blood trickling down the few cuts on your legs. Before you could even set your car keys down, though, footsteps were pounding down the hallway towards you. 

“Oh, thank god.” Ingrid gasped, sounding alarmingly emotional as she rushed forward and crushed you into a hug. “She’s here!” 

“Dios  mio.” Mapi muttered, appearing over your sister’s shoulder a moment later. Ingrid pulled away from you, her hands on your shoulders keeping you at arm's length. Her face quickly transformed from relieved to furious. 

“Where the hell have you been?” She hissed. 

“I–”

“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? You didn’t call, you didn’t text. You were supposed to be home hours ago, Sol. Your location wouldn’t show up on my phone, Fresa even said you ended your meeting early,” Ingrid ranted, though you began to tune her out at the sound of her name. 

“You talked to Fresa?” You interrupted, ignoring the incredulous look on Ingrid’s face, turning your attention towards Mapi who was staring stonily at you. 

“That doesn’t fucking matter right now. Where were you? Are you drunk? High? Were you fighting?” Ingrid demanded.

Each accusation felt like a bullet to the heart as Ingrid grabbed your chin and yanked it towards her, looking intently at your eyes. You shoved her away angrily; Ingrid wasn’t supposed to see you as that person anymore. She had promised that she didn’t, that she knew you weren’t a bad kid, that you had just been having a hard time. Now, though. She was looking at you like she didn’t trust a word that was about to come out of your mouth. 

“No.” You spat at her, grabbing your phone from your pocket and slamming it on the front hall table. “I went on a hike after I met Fresa and my phone died. I lost track of time. I wasn’t getting drunk or high and I wasn’t fighting anybody, but thanks for having some faith in me.” Your voice dripped with sarcasm, and even though you expected Ingrid to soften with a bit of guilt, she only seemed emboldened with anger. 

“Don’t you dare turn this around on me. You were supposed to be back four hours ago Solstråle. Four! This was so irresponsible. Do you not care that we were worried? Do you not care that we were here waiting for you? That Mapi made dinner, and you were going to work on her bike? Or that we were supposed to make cookies? After everything we’ve done for you, Solstråle, I expect more.” She was shouting at this point, pacing back and forth in front of you. 

You looked to Mapi, hoping for her to step in and talk her girlfriend down, but she looked almost as mad as Ingrid was, and you shrunk in on yourself.

“You are…. you are grounded. This is unacceptable, and you better never let it happen again. That is not how family behaves Solstråle. Did you think about how worried we would be? I am so upset with you, so disappointed that you didn’t think about anyone but yourself, that you were so selfish–”

“Alright, Ingrid. Enough.” Mapi cut in finally, stepping forward to grab her girlfriend's hand and squeeze it. You were frozen in front of your sister, fighting the sob that was building in your throat. 

Ingrid stepped back, her face still red with anger. A hint of regret flickered across her face at the sight of your lip trembling and the tears in your eyes. Still, you looked confused, and Ingrid couldn’t shove her anger down at your lack of understanding. She turned, stomping off towards the kitchen, leaving you and Mapi behind. 

“Sol-”

“I’m going to shower. Sorry, Mapi. I’m sorry.” You mumbled, pushing past her and heading up the stairs before the Spaniard could get out another word.  

Mapi sighed tiredly, rubbing her hand over her face. Her Engens were going to make her go grey. 

—

You had only just pulled some pajamas on after your shower when Mapi knocked, her gentle voice calling to you from the hall. 

“Yeah?” You called back, voice gravelly from all the sobbing you had done in the shower. 

Mapi entered, the first aid kit in her hands and a much calmer expression on her face. She was in her pajamas, too, clearly having been waiting up for you to get out of the shower. It had been a long one. Another thing to be sorry for, keeping Mapi awake. 

“Can I help with your legs?” She wondered, gesturing to the many cuts that littered them.

Shrugging noncommittally, you sunk down onto the edge of the bed, Mapi soon taking a seat opposite you. She pulled your calf up to rest across her lap, getting out the antiseptic spray and a few bandages. You purposefully looked away, barely having been able to get the blood off in the shower without getting light headed. 

“Are you okay, mi sol?” Mapi murmured, fanning her hands over the cuts so the spray would dry faster. Mapi had a way of looking at you, eyes crinkled with concern and kindness, that made you want to burst into tears. You fought that instinct. 

“I am fine.” 

Mapi sighed, unwrapping a few of the bandages and beginning to carefully put them on you. 

“Then someone else was crying in the shower while you were in there?” 

No reply came, and Mapi sighed again, tapping your leg to tell you she was done with that one. 

“Look, I know Ingrid was harsh, but you have to understand how worried she was. How worried we both were. I know you still remember the things you wrote in that letter all those months ago. Things like that don’t just go away, Sol, and when you disappear for hours without a word, we worry.” 

This time, Mapi got a shrug in reply, and a small sniffle. She finished up with your other leg, gently pushing it off her lap and pulling you into a soft hug. “It’s okay, Solstråle. Everything is fine now.” 

You scoffed through your tears. “Nothing is fine, Mapi. I screwed up with Fresa, I screwed up with Ingrid. They both probably hate me. Please, just go. I’m tired.” 

Mapi shook her head. “You’re upset, I just want to–”

“No Mapi, just leave me be.” You tried to sound firm, but your voice was shaking almost as much as your hands were, and you were sure you just came off as pathetic. 

“Alright, nena. I love you, hmm? Don’t be too hard on yourself.” 

You remained silent, flopping back onto your bed as Mapi walked out of the room. Scout hopped up on the bed in her absence, licking your cheek twice before curling into your side. 

It wasn’t being too hard on yourself; the self hatred you felt in that moment was completely justified. You were very sure of that. 

—

You were tucked into bed when the door creaked open again, Scout not even bothering to lift his head from where it was tucked into the comforter draped over your leg. You blinked your eyes open and they widened in surprise at the sight of Ingrid walking into the room, hair messy as though she’d been tossing and turning. She neared the edge of your bed, leaning down and kissing your forehead gently. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart. I don’t hate you, okay? I love you very much. Everything is going to be okay, so just try to get some rest.” 

You nodded weakly, impatiently pushing a tear off your cheek with the back of your hand. “I’m sorry, Ingrid. Really sorry.” 

“It’s alright. You’re safe, yes? And that’s all that really matters.” Ingrid promised, and you nodded, sniffling pathetically. “We can talk more tomorrow, but just go to sleep, okay? Everything is fine.” 

“Love you.” You mumbled, Ingrid smiling softly down at her. You didn’t often say that first, something Ingrid attributed to having said it to your Mamma and not heard it back so many times. 

“I love you.” Ingrid replied, patting your cheek twice before tucking the covers up tighter around you, and heading out of the room. 

—

You woke up to a few unexpected things the next morning. One, it was almost 11 and Scout hadn’t woken you up demanding a walk. In fact, Scout was nowhere to be found. Two, the sounds of Mapi’s Spanish soap and Ingrid’s clanging around the kitchen echoed through the house. You’d forgotten they had the day off today. Ingrid must have taken Scout out to let you sleep in. 

The first two unexpected things, then, were explainable. The third… was not. 

A text from Fresa. 

Tuesday at the library. If you want to give it another shot. I think I can help. 

You thought about the way you’d behaved, and the way Fresa had spoken to you. Before you could delete the thread with her and close your phone, though, you thought about the letter you’d hidden from your sister. The excited smile on Mapi’s face when you’d agreed to let Fresa tutor you. 

Before you quite knew what you were doing, you pulled the message back up, your fingers typing away without you telling them to.

Yeah. I’d appreciate that. What time? 

There was something that drew you to Fresa, even as she infuriated you. Maybe it was how her voice had softened when she’d asked if you couldn’t read the Spanish on the paper, or maybe it was how she’d smiled unconsciously, watching Alexia score a goal the past weekend. It was a nice smile. And she had a nice voice. 

None of it really made any sense to you, but you’d already sent the text. 

—

For some reason, you felt a bit awkward. There was something very odd about knowing Mapi had been upset with you, because normally that was just Ingrid. But you knew Mapi had been just as worried last night as Ingrid, and just as upset. She’d been in the garage all morning, too, and you wondered if she was avoiding you or allowing you to decide to come to her if you wanted to talk.

After the 5th time you glanced at the door to the garage, though, Ingrid rolled her eyes from where she was sitting at the other end of the couch, typing away on her computer. 

“Go talk to her. She’s not angry, I promise.” 

Ingrid wasn’t angry anymore, either. You’d spoken with her practically first thing when you’d woken up, apologizing again and again and emphasizing that you hadn’t really realized how your actions would have affected Ingrid until it was too late. 

You’d told her about a time back in Norway when you’d stayed out all night after a fight with your Mamma, and when you’d come home the next morning, she hadn’t even noticed that you’d been gone. Ingrid understood a bit more, then, and was quick to hug you tight and whisper that she forgave you.

And even though Mapi had come in last night and tried to make you feel better, you knew she might have been waiting to be upset until she knew for sure you were okay. That made you even more nervous. 

Ingrid snorted from behind you when you knocked on the door to the garage, as normally you just walked right in. You shot her a glare, stepping inside the garage at the sound of Mapi’s quiet come in. 

The defender didn’t glance up as you walked in, but you took a seat in the chair next to her. Your chair. 

It was quiet for a moment, the sounds of Mapi’s metal tool gently clanging against the bike. 

“What did Fresa say to you last night?” You blurted out, face flushing red because why was that the first thing out of your mouth. 

Mapi fixed you with a half amused look, shaking her head. “That is what you’re asking?” 

“No.” You sighed. “Are you mad at me?” 

“No.” Mapi echoed, going quiet for a moment as she thought. “Not mad. It’s just hard for me, Sol. Last night, you didn’t even think that we’d be worried about you and where you were. It just makes me a bit sad.”

“Oh.” 

“And it’s not your fault, nena. I just worry for you.” 

You nodded slowly. “I’m really sorry. I should have thought about how worried you guys would have been.”

Mapi gave you a half smile. “I know you are. And you won’t do it again sí?” 

Your head bobbed up and down rapidly as you agreed, more sure than you’d ever been that you’d not be doing something that stupid again. 

“Now. Why are you so concerned with what Fresa said to me, hmm? What did you do?"

—

[soberpluto]

Examining Neptune's Spell

Apologies for not being here after so much time, but now I'm back and very thrilled to share this with you all! I'm hopeful many can find this helpful.

Unnecesary context aside, just recently I was having a long and deep conversation with a friend of mine about my semi-recurring mini existential crises. After hearing me patiently, with the dear intention of making me realize I was drowning in my tiny glass of water, he simply (and brilliantly) replied:

"I think you're problem is that you have unrealistic expectations about yourself."

Any attempt to blurt out in self-defense ceased instantly because of how deep these words sunk in my mind. I stared into the wall before for me and felt how the missing puzzle piece finally dropped into the perfect spot. Obviously, the thought of having my sun in Cancer and Neptune in almost exact opposition popped inside, and it took a WHOLE new dimmension. How could this statement not be true?! OF COURSE he was right! It's not that I wasn't told that before or haven't read about it multiple times in my astrology studies, but the truth is, (a very Neptunian thing now that I think about it) I didn't believe it quite applied to me. Because I don't like to feel mediocre and because I think of myself as a spiritual and highly self-aware woman, I was convinced that holding myself to "unrealistic standards" was definitely NOT the reason that triggered me to want fleed to a desert islands at times when reality felt like too much. It was bitterly humorous when I realized I evidently missed the fact that Neptune was making a hell of a job doing what he does best: casting its spells of illusion and glittery distorted beliefs about how things were "supposed to be" in a surprisingly unadverted way into my life. I was truly relieved to actually understand (or accept, better said) why trying to have a simple and happy life seemed too tricky at times. It all made sense.

Now, let me introduce Neptune, if you happen to be unacquainted.

Neptune in astrology is like the ultimate dream weaver, spinning a web of intuition, imagination, and mystery. It’s the planet of all things ethereal, where reality gets a little blurry, and you’re invited to dive into the deep end of fantasy, spirituality, and idealism. Neptune whispers, "What if?" and suddenly, we're seeing the world through a kaleidoscope of possibilities, but a "little" foggy on the details. We're all influenced by Neptune one way or another, but when it touches personal planets or points in our charts, it’s like life hands us a pair of customized rose-colored glasses, but the prescription is way off. Suddenly, everything feels a bit magical, like we're starring in your own fairytale, except the castle is made of mist, the prince might just be a mirage, and that enchanted forest? It’s actually a parking lot.

But why bother making us feel loony? On a more serious note, our master illusionist possesses the higher purpose of awakening our connection to something greater than the everyday grind. It gently pulls us out of the rigid boundaries of reality and whispers, "There’s more to life than meets the eye." It invites us to explore the depths of our imagination, spirituality, and compassion, blurring the lines between self and universe. The illusions it creates are really a nudge to dissolve our ego’s grip, helping us see beyond the material and embrace a higher sense of love, creativity, and unity with the cosmos.

As inspiring and touching as it sounds, the catch is that fulfilling Neptune’s mission can feel like chasing fog—just when we think we’ve got a handle on it, it slips through our fingers. Neptune wants us to transcend reality and connect with the divine, but let’s be real: that’s not exactly a day-to-day, grocery-list-friendly goal. For someone with heavy Neptune influence, this pursuit of higher meaning can be disorienting, leaving them feeling lost in a sea of "what ifs" and "maybes." And thanks to its grandeur idealism, it can push people to be hypersensitive, highly fearful of failure and completely inaccurate with what they may achieve in a day, let alone a lifetime!

For a Neptunian, the intuitive desire to be flawless and sufficient does not come from wordly expectations, but from a place of soulful calling that more often unconsciously than consciously tells them they're limitless beings living in a limited reality. And this is exactly the greatest challenge of all: to accept that the truth must be known while respecting the illusion, just as a spiritual teacher Michael Mirdad states.

That said, you can imagine what happens when mystical and whimsical Neptune gets cozy with your personal planets. Let's see in detail how it sprinkles its glitter them:

Sun

Soft Aspects: With soft aspects, your Sun is shining brighter than ever! Neptune sprinkles fairy dust on your creativity and confidence, making you feel like a superstar in your own musical. It’s all about embracing your spiritual side and believing that you can conquer the world—cape optional!

Hard Aspects: You’re the artist of your own identity, but the canvas keeps shifting. One day you’re an astronaut, the next day you’re a poet, and by the end of the week, you’re contemplating becoming a full-time mystic. Neptune tells you, "Be everything," but sometimes that just leaves you wondering, "Who am I, really?"

Moon

Soft Aspects: Your emotions flow like a gentle river, and you’re tuned in to everyone’s feelings like a super empath (you could be a cool wizard/witch or clairvoyant!). Neptune wraps you in a cozy blanket of intuition, making heartfelt connections feel like a warm hug from the universe. Cue the happy tears!

Hard Aspects: Enter the emotional whirlpool! Neptune can stir up your feelings like a cosmic blender, leading to mood swings and a general sense of overwhelm. You might find yourself daydreaming your way through real-life emotions, and good luck figuring out what you actually feel!

Mercury

Soft Aspects: With Neptune’s gentle nudge, your thoughts become a beautiful symphony! Communication flows like honey, and you’re bursting with creative ideas. It’s a fantastic time for writing, brainstorming, or chatting about all things magical and dreamy! You could be a music lover, a great singer or a romantic poet.

Hard Aspects: But when Neptune goes rogue, it’s like trying to read a recipe in a funhouse—everything’s upside down! Your thoughts get scattered, and communication feels like a game of telephone gone wrong. Get ready for misunderstandings and the occasional “Wait, what did you just say?” This aspect looks very similar to a Piscean or Sagittarian Mercury, a common link to ADHD.

Venus

Soft Aspects: Love is in the air! Neptune turns your romantic life into a whimsical fairy tale, where everything feels enchanting. Your heart opens wide, and connections deepen, making even the smallest moments feel like a scene from a rom-com.

Hard Aspects: But hold on! Neptune might have you wearing those rose-colored glasses a bit too tightly. You might find yourself idealizing partners or being swept away by fantasies, only to crash back to reality when things don’t match your dreamy expectations. Ouch!

Mars

Soft Aspects: With Neptune in your corner, your drive becomes a creative spark! You’re ready to take action with a burst of inspiration, making you feel like a superhero on a mission. Time to tackle those goals with flair and imagination!

Hard Aspects: When Neptune throws in a twist, it’s like trying to run through quicksand. Your motivation might wane, leaving you confused about where to focus your energy. It’s a cosmic case of “I had a plan… what was it again?”

To wrap it up after such long post, living with Neptune’s influence means you’ve got a backstage pass to the land of dreams, creativity, and big feelings. But it also means you might find yourself getting tangled up in illusions, setting sky-high standards that real life simply can’t meet. So when Neptune touches your personal planets, just remember: it's okay to dream big, but keep a little reality check in your back pocket. You can chase those rainbows, but don’t forget to pack an umbrella for when they dissolve into rain.

Thanks so much for reading, love you! 🥰

Written by @soberpluto

[spdrvyn]

WHY DON'T WE CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS? — [ post-atsv. spider-reader. wc 1.4k ] you and miguel are dating in secret. neither of you are a fan of pda, so he shows as much as he can in private.

Your participation in the Society recently was bordering on mediocre. In your defense, your other job has been keeping you occupied. Of course, living with Miguel still means that you can see him a lot. A privilege that the other measly spiders can not afford, but you.

However, Miguel was on another strike mission in a never seen before spider dimension. From the details he told you, it was a world blanketed in snow and ice. It required very specific agents to accomplish and knowing him, he volunteered himself to go with too.

Once you were free from your shift, you anxiously waited near the console. Only occasionally leaving to grab a snack and go to the bathroom, as each minute passed the more nervous you became.

Miguel left early in the morning, bidding you farewell with a kiss on your forehead that you were still way too groggy for. It was late in the evening now and there was no sign of him or his team.

Your mind started to wander, passing scenarios of what you wished could happen once you finally saw him. You would leap at him with your arms spread to prepare for his warm embrace, you would pepper kisses all across his handsome face and he'd flush under the attention. Unfortunately, you could only dream that would happen.

As much as possible, both you and Miguel have been trying to keep your relationship private. Not for any life-threatening or intensely serious reasons, but it was for both of your comfort. You liked the intimacy that came with keeping everything private, knowing that whatever you had between each other was just for you. Miguel thought the same, he was the one who suggested it after all.

Still, that fact hindered you. Your jobs and his entailed long nights away from each other and when you finally reunited or even had more than ten minutes to just be, you couldn't act on your true desires because you would be in the eyes of other people.

"Hey. A dollar for your thoughts?" Margo chimed, her iridescent hologram brought a soothing glow to the dark oranges and yellows of the console room.

"Isn't it a penny for your thoughts?"

"Well, they've had to up the prices. You know, inflation." You couldn't tell if she approached you because she noticed how deep in thought you appeared to be or if she too was riding on waves of boredom. Nevertheless, a distraction would probably help.

"Who are you waiting for exactly?" Margo turned her back to you for a second and flickers on her own screens, nearly in the same fashion Lyla does. Only they look more purple as opposed to dandelion.

"Miguel. He wanted to talk to me about a - progress report and I think the mission he went on overlapped with that meeting."

She chortled at your hesitation, the sound increased when you mentioned your reasoning. "I didn't know he did those kinds of reports. You must be special, huh?"

"They're, uh, you have to ask for them."

Over time, you were able to develop a skill where you can pull any sort of lie out of your ass. That was mostly because you used to only be interrogated by Peter B. (he still does it) and he was pretty easy to shut down. Ask about his daughter and all of that, crisis averted.

But this was different. It was a teenager you were talking to, if you were her age in her position right now, you would also be trying to pry as much as you could and tell all your friends about what you heard.

"You asked for it? You're stronger than me, for sure."

Miguel isn't that bad- No. Miguel can be professional about it- No. Miguel is my boyfrieeeend- No!!

"Gotta build that emotional endurance too, you know?" You lied through your teeth, this was your true emotional endurance test. You just prayed that literally anything else could happen so that you could move on from this point in the conversation.

That was when you saw it. A miracle. A message from God. That familiar vortex of colors, that familiar bright red arm blade.

"Well, speak of the devil. Good luck with your meeting!" Margo remarked before she webbed to another side of the console, she looked busy. Maybe trying to look busy.

Miguel looked a little worse for ware, and so did the spiders following behind him. You glued yourself in place to keep from immediately checking for any injuries, but you're confident that the look on your face completely gave you away.

When the portal closed, he swiftly faced his team. "Good work on the strike mission. Make sure to get some rest in before sending in your reports. Contact me, Jess, or Peter if you need anything else."

What he intended as a compliment or two sounded slightly tense coming out of his mouth, you were a bit of a long-standing Society member so after The Spot happened, you could tell he was trying more at boosting morale. Even though his scowl and tone of voice sort of eradicated the kindness in what he actually meant, you found it cute that he tried anyway.

Everyone quickly dispersed, some left in pairs, some hopped into a portal straight to what seemed to be their home dimension. From where you were standing, you could see Miguel's shoulders sag in relief. His mask dissipated to reveal his worn out mug and he immediately turned to walk over to you.

You could tell he wanted to fold. Leave all of today's remaining problems to the Miguel of tomorrow, crawl into your loving embrace, and lay in dormancy until he would meet his fate again.

"Miguel," You initiate. "Is it time for my meeting now?"

There was no meeting. He probably had no idea what you were talking about, but he did at the same time. His steely, jaded disposition gave way to the warm, homely lover you have always known. He nodded, the moment you two stepped inside the apartment, he hugged you.

~

Over the course of your relationship with Miguel, he had taken you out to a good amount of luxurious fine dining restaurants. You were always extremely grateful, especially since he would refuse to let you pay even by a little. He's introduced a lot of new options and in return, you'd show him around the good food spots in your city too.

Yet, nothing could ever compare to a slow, home-cooked meal with just the two of you. Everything felt so intimate that way, you didn't have to worry about public appearances. Many meals being dished out with both you and Miguel in your pajamas.

Tonight was no different, of course. Miguel seemed more sluggish this time around, but you didn't mind picking more work than usual. You would have cooked for him yourself, but you had a feeling that he'd fight you for that.

Dinner had fallen into a comfortable silence this time, your relationship has gotten to the point where there was no obligation to make conversation. Sometimes, Miguel would burst into drawn-out rambles about how his day went and you'd listen intently. Except now, he's too tired to even speak.

After putting the dishes away and performing night routines, a movie in bed would be the perfect conclusion to such a peaceful night.

Nueva York was colder compared to your city, you complained about it to him multiple times so now Miguel usually keeps more than one blanket on the bed now. Honestly, you said it because you liked being snug in his arms when you slept with him. Not in that way.

Miguel's head rested on the column between your shoulder and neck, he weighed you down onto the memory foam mattress with a leg over both of yours and his arms snaked around your torso.

From your peripherals, you could see him gazing up at you. His attention stolen by your face, merlot hued eyes that traced every line, curve, and detail.

"Migs," You smiled back at him. "What are you gawking at?"

Bashfully, he turned his face inward with the hint of a grin at the upturned corners of his lips. It made your heart pounce, the idea that you especially had the privilege of seeing him so tender and shy.

No psychic could have foreseen you living your life like this right now, the same could be said for Miguel too. You didn't force him into this, batter him down to be all soft and mushy. It was because he knew, he finally knew from the way you stayed and loved him through the thick and thin, that he was finally safe and those walls crumbled.

The warmth from his kisses travelled all the way up to your ear. There, he whispered to you a promise, a declaration.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

awwww!!!! miguel!!!!!! anyway hii, been a while since i've uploaded a proper fic so here it is! i hope you guys enjoyed this one because i had a lot of fun writing it :-)

[brnesblogposts]

Hey

I had this idea and thought maybe you would like to write it, if not it's also okay!

How about reader finds out that Bucky likes plums and then surprises him with a plum pie. Bucky has a cute reaction and loves the surprise.

Thank you in advance 💗

This is so cute- I hope you like what i did!

Bucky x reader (fluff drabble)

————

Bucky was exhausted. He’d had a long day of team meetings and mission prep, the nagging of Steve still reverberating in his ears. He couldn’t wait to get home and relax with her in his arms. The thought of you put a smile on his face.

Unbeknownst to Bucky you were hard at work in the kitchen putting your mediocre baking skills to use. The other night Bucky had revealed his affinity for plums and how his Ma used to make a plum pie when he was a boy. Since that night you’ve had a plan to surprise him with something from his childhood.

The apartment smelt like pie crust and plums as you mixed all of the ingredients and poured the contents of the bowl into a pie dish already laid with pastry.

After a quick clean up and putting the pie in the oven you opened the windows hoping you could waft some of the smell out before Bucky got home, you needed him to be completely surprised. You had forgot however that he is a super soldier and has enhanced senses.

“Something smells delicious in here” His voice reverberated around the apartment as he closed the door behind him.

You quickly put a timer on and left the kitchen to greet him “Buck!” You wrapped your arms around him.

He could instantly tell you were up to something, he could read you like a book, “What’re you up to?” He narrowed his eyes and pressed a kiss to your temple as the two of you embraced.

“Nothing! How was your day?” You smile innocently and he continues to eye you up suspiciously.

“Same old, boring mission prep, Steve being a hard ass.. love the guy but sometimes he’s a real pain.” He let out a sigh as he got his day off of his chest and then “How was your day, doll?” He had his arms wrapped around your waist, chin on your head as he swayed with you.

“Not much to report.. I had to tell Alpine off for trying to scratch the couch that’s about it.” As if she heard you talking about her Alpine waltzed into the room and started weaving between Bucky’s legs.

“We’ve talked about this Alpine.. no scratching the furniture!” Bucky scratched between Alpines ears as he spoke sternly to the cat despite having a small smile on his face.

You heard a ding from the kitchen and whisked yourself off as Bucky was distracted by Alpine. He followed soon after with the fluff ball hot on his trail.

“Doll what are you-“ He was about to ask what you were being so secretive about but there you were with oven mits on holding a freshly baked pie that smelt awfully familiar “is that..?”

“Plum pie!” You gleamed setting it down on the counter.

“Sweetheart you made me a pie?” He came to stand behind you wrapping his arms around your front.

“Mhm” You nodded “I obviously don’t have your Ma’s recipe but-“ Before you could finish your sentence you were spun around and your lips were captured by his in a sweet soft kiss.

“Doll- This is so sweet. It’s made my week, thank you” He held your face in his hands and gazed lovingly at you.

“Just wanted to surprise you” You smiled “I hope it reminds you of your Ma even just a tiny bit.. I know you miss her” You say and he kisses you again before you reluctantly pull back.” Should we try the pie? Tell me if it holds a candle to your Ma’s?” You smile softly at him and he returns the gesture.

“It’s made with love the same way Ma used to make hers so i don’t doubt it’s delicious” He pressed a kiss to your forehead before you turned around to slice into the plum pie.

taglist- @ktgsoul @armystay89 @mostlymarvelgirl

(reply to be added!)

[cobaltperun]

Genius (12 - Finale) - I'm Alive

Cairo Sweet x female (G!P) Reader

Summary: It was such a cliché, a reunion she didn’t expect to ever happen, let alone six years after she last saw you. It was supposed to mean nothing, a bit of nostalgia, maybe a brief catching up while waiting for class, it was supposed to be a small wave of nostalgia, not a tsunami that disrupted her entire life. You were her opposite, and as hard as she tried she couldn’t resist your pull.

Story masterlist / First part / Previous Part

Word count: 1.7k

-When you call on me, when I hear you breathe, I get wings to fly, I feel that I'm alive-

I am a shadow. Born and raised in the light, though dark remains my natural habitat. I am a shadow that was given freedom, released from the one who cast me. My greatest achievement? Using that newfound freedom and giving myself a shape beyond a dark figure without a face, without a voice, or identity.

I thought of my home as mundane, mediocre, I wished to leave it behind, searching for something more meaningful. I believed I had accomplished nothing, instead wasting my youth on normal, on boring. Valedictorian, though I am, I found that to be boring, average, not worthy of being called a great, let alone the greatest achievement of my life.

I sought affirmation, I sought recognition of my talents, a love so strong it would transcend conventions, and I found none of that. Instead, I found betrayal. I sought excitement, and instead found stability, support, and someone who built me up, improving me and letting me improve her and us in return.

And we traveled the world. Leaving our lives behind and with little more than a backpack of bare necessities, we traveled. At first, inspired by 'Around the World in Eighty Days' we visited our first destinations, traveling as tourists, and then we changed our minds.

We stopped traveling from place to place, we stayed, we lived there, experiencing the culture, the differences from what we were used to, and the journey around the world became a journey through 10 countries, one month for each one.

That is my greatest achievement, opening my mind to the world, to different values and cultures, learning and embracing the parts that resonated with me the most, and understanding the others. And I wrote about it, pages upon pages flowed through me and onto the screen or paper, and from that a tale was born. 10 stories about life, about will, about what it means to be human and free, each through the eyes of multiple people I met, combined into one.

My greatest achievement is finding my purpose.

You finished reading Cairo’s Yale essay on her greatest achievement and looked up, smiling widely at your girlfriend as she impatiently awaited your response.

“So?” she asked, and you hummed, leaning back on the sofa in the simple hotel room, you glanced outside, seeing the beautiful beach as the Sun began rising. You two deserved a bit of a vacation after the past year, because, well, it wasn’t that you just traveled and lived, you worked in those countries, so, you were taking a bit of a break now that Cairo would apply for Yale. “Y/N?” she warned you playfully as she moved from the sofa next to you to straddling your lap.

You grinned, your hands dropping to her thighs as she leaned in and kissed you. “You want to make out or do you want me to tell you about your essay?” you laughed when she pulled back for a bit.

“Can’t see why we can’t multitask,” she whispered in your ear and bit your earlobe gently.

“I can try,” you kissed her neck several times, making sure not to leave marks, since she needed to go and have a talk about her book with the publisher that was interested in it. “I think you are brilliant,” you told her, and groaned as Cairo, of course, didn’t have to worry about marks on your neck and her nails left tiny red lines along it while she kissed just beneath your ear. “Fuck, Cairo! You know I’m an awful critic when,” you pulled her collar aside and latched onto the skin of her shoulder since that was fair game. “we’re making out!” you complained earning a laugh from the girl on your lap.

“You are an awful, lovestruck, critic in general,” she teased, a low moan slipped past her lips as she pushed her body against you and hugged you tightly.

“Mhm,” you agreed, you absolutely agreed, but she was just as bad. “Remember when I recorded playing an out of tune guitar? You know, when it sounded like a sin against music?” you reminded her and smirked when she blushed. “You said, and I quote ‘It’s perfect’ just because I was making you feel really good,” you dragged your bottom lip up her neck before kissing her. Her mouth opened immediately, and you felt her tongue inside your mouth. “In all seriousness, I think you won. You did it, you overcame it all,” you said, no longer making out with her, instead you were just leaning your forehead down on her shoulder while she hugged you. “You were stronger than everything that happened in that school,” you ran your fingers through her hair, soothing her when she tightened her hold on you. “You’ll get in, I have no doubt in my mind, that’s how good your essay is,” you assured her, completely confident in that being the outcome.

~X~ Five years later ~X~

A smell of wild roses engulfed her senses as she brushed her hair, humming a tune of your band’s new song.

“You are, against all odds, somehow still tone deaf,” came Winnie’s biting remark from the bathroom and Cairo felt her eye twitching at her best friend’s constant teasing. “How can your Biker Girl even handle the sounds you make?” Winnie came out of the bathroom and leaned on the wall.

Cairo had a bit of a lecherous grin on her face and Winnie immediately put her hand up.

“Nope, no way, none of that, I do not need that image tonight,” she stopped Cairo before she could even say that you did, in fact handle the aforementioned sounds in a certain way. But Cairo figured she could show some mercy to Winnie, seeing as the two of them were getting ready for a fairly big concert of your band, the biggest one so far, in fact.

“She sure made it,” Cairo smiled, remembering how you managed to scramble together a band and slowly but surely gain popularity and make it work in the end. A lot has happened since the two of you came back from your one-year break. Cairo just published her third book, Winnie had several art exhibitions and was gaining quite a reputation in graphic design, and you not only had your own band but also worked as a songwriter.

While she went to college you focused on your career, and she was immensely proud of you.

“Okay, get that lovestruck look off your face, your face will get frozen like that,” Winnie laughed and shoved Cairo jokingly, only for Cairo to shove her back until they fell back onto the bed, laughing like they did all those years ago when they were teenagers.

“Come on, I don’t want to be late,” Cairo sat up, a grin still on her face as she went to finish getting ready.

~X~

The bright stage lights, clear night skies above you, the screaming crowd in front of you, and in the midst of it all you saw Cairo standing near the stage, and you heard her louder than anyone else as you sang. The drums and guitars overpowered the crowd as people sang along with you and you had to force yourself to look away from her.

The band was still a bit young, so you were mixing in some covers to get to that three-hour mark and right now, to close things off, you were singing ‘Shapeshifters’ by Hands Like Houses, a fairly fitting song for you and Cairo if you could say so yourself.

“We will be unbreakable! Let's take it all as a reminder we'll never need, every place we dance, in a way, we never leave! We're toe to toe, side to side, beneath the stars, we will be unbreakable!” you sang hyping the crowd up as you played the guitar in your arms. And then you calmed it all down and looked at Cairo once more, and knowing what part of the song was coming up she stopped cheering and just smiled at you, her eyes filled with love. “From up this close, I can't see a thing, aside from you in front of me. I can't recall a night this clear, a better light to lead us here, no brighter diamond in the sky than those embedded in your eyes!”

You finished the song and thanked the crowd, one more concert finished successfully and with the crowd more than pleased with your performance. You just took a moment to take it all in, see how far you’ve come, you and Cairo, and Winnie as well, but Cairo especially. She truly overcame it all, coming out stronger than ever before, and you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with her, watching her blossom again and again, with each new book, each new achievement, each new thing that brought her happiness.

“Go get your girl,” Rick, your drummer laughed, and you just rolled your eyes, but you weren’t about to complain, Winnie would go back to the hotel with them, you and Cairo on the other hand…

You jumped off the stage and Cairo ran up to you and jumped into your arms, and you spun her around, grinning at the clothes she chose to wear. “Wanna ditch this place?” the two of you already planned this, which was why your precious motorcycle was parked next to your band’s van.

“Mhm,” she kissed you while you still held her, and soon enough the sound of the motorcycle engine roaring as you drove down the highway, taking a break from the big city became the only sound the two of you heard. The scenery around you changed, and you felt Cairo tightening her hold on you. Before she began writing her next book, before you made plans for a tour with the band, before work once again took up your free time, you would just take time and have fun together.

Away from everything else, just the two of you, the way it was long before you even fell in love with one another.

A/N: Short, but I really didn't want to drag things out, I thought there'd be more to write, but this just feels complete as it is. If I knew, I would have just combined chapters 11 and 12. Anyway, there goes another story, unlike with Lost I don’t intend to write side stories so, unless someone requests it, I am saying goodbye to Cairo. It was more fun than I expected and thank you all for reading! Oh, and, there's going to be a poll, yes, I am being evil again. Sorry 🤣🤣

Story masterlist / First part / Previous Part

Taglist: @deimaisgail @bee-keeping @marvelous-disaster @jmwetterlund @tekanparadiae

@alexkolax @ioveyouyouloveme @aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh @autorasexy @lifeforsimp13

@puta1 @minnyyminny

[kalims]

ㅤamongst other things

premise. kisses w/ them, and random things?

featuring. dan heng, blade, jing yuan.

content. gender neutral.

cw. mentions of blood, murder for blade lol. he's just down bad for reader in a weird, blade way ig

note. this is ironic since my first genshin post was also about kisses (AKA me getting bored so I wondered why not get into star rail)

will add others soon ig.. I didn't compile all of them here cuz I honestly lack the characterization for them so woop

dan heng

short, abrupt kisses that rarely ever come by goes as quickly as it came. you'd assume that he's doing it on purpose, giving you the kiss that you've been waiting for all day. it shouldn't even be considered a kiss at all from how fleeting his apparent 'peck' is.

in short it's torture.

keyword: assume. cause as convinced as you are that this is just some form of twisted amusement dan heng gains, that's exactly the problem that it entails. as a person wholly, he's so serious to the point you doubt there's nothing that would entertain him besides books.

you learn he isn't much of a fan of those really long kisses, once you both bore witness to a couple eating each other's face in broad daylight and you spotted his weekly shift of expression, a quirk of few centimeters. in this case, a grimace and he looks away.

he, does not really give kisses a lot. as upset as you are, you do agree that when he does give you a kiss, albeit short. it makes it all the more.. amazing? such a mediocre word wouldn't be able to describe it.

basically when you're both left trying to fit in his small cushion (he could've atleast gotten a bed in all this space.) you also learn that he's a really private man.

you've only ever shared kisses in his room, embraces, everything else for that matter. when the door is locked he quite literally melts into you. if you happen to be sitting together he just leans on to you.

dan heng in public: 😶

dan heng in private: 😊

just doesn't show any affection in public, especially if march is around. that girl would make fun of him for hours end and even drag the trailblazer in on her antics of poking fun.

dan heng is indeed a private man.

march isn't the only factor as to why there hasn't been a lot of kisses out in public. if anything he probably wants to kiss you more than you would like.

he'd be lying if he said he wanted to just kiss you as long as those weird main characters of the romance shows march watches cause even though you might want that as well, dan heng won't ever do it.

cause it isn't him, what he is. is the type to get kisses done as soon as he can not because he doesn't enjoy them. it's because he can take a good look at you once he leans back, just like he does any other day.

to admire you.

and cause dan heng isn't the romantic type to kiss you senseless, but the one to give you looks you'd die for.

blade

if dan heng only gives you kisses a few times a day and you'd consider it torture, better get ready to lose your sanity cause you're lucky if blade even crumples at your hand to give you one.

it's not that he doesn't love you. he feels as though it's wrong to label whatever emotion in his chest as something as strong as love, he won't go that far. but he won't label you as something worthy of hatred either, you're.. tolerable?

if anything blade doesn't outright seek to give you his affection through the form of a kiss. his love language is in fact, not physical affection but destroying your enemies :). (if you have one, if not. then whoever bothers you will suffice.)

but if he does, when he does it's the most blade thing he can do. just grabbing your face with one hand as he gives you one of those rough, deep kisses. it's not really desperate or out of need, despite such a wordless action you could feel some emotion he's pouring into it.

better pray it's not hate cause.. 💀

funny thing cause as much as he hates being piled in the same sentence as dan heng, in a way they're rather similar. both just preferring to witness, given their life span.. maybe it's some type of response they're used to.

blade doesn't really do the 'oh I love you' or the random hugs. the fact that he'd even stand so close to you instead of isolating himself and looking all mysterious leaning on a pillar already spoke volumes of his fondness (if not admitted.)

he just.. watches you?

silver wolf comments about it when she's caught his eyes on you many times midst a conversation, behind your back, staring. "better watch out." she says, but even with her disturbed gaze never does he tear his eyes away.

well.

kafka does take it in more stride than her. as someone who's spent a hefty time with blade, even someone as analytical as her can't tell which things he likes, and hates. besides all the blood and pain (well usually for his opponents.)

she for one, tells you that he does indeed like you. cause she can control who blade murders 'for her own good'. but if there's even a single glimpse of drop from a wound he's going feral, and not even kafka or her spirit whisper can tame his rage.

AKA... just lots of murder?

'for your own good :)'.

blade wholly believes that he doesn't need to shower you in affection, or kisses at all. but if you're really so insistent on them he'll give into you, which is surprising cause he's a pretty stubborn man.

most affection you'd get in physical means is when he completely collapses into you, perhaps a sign of weakness. but also trust. one of the rare times he's exhausted himself in his mind to the point where he can't even do anything.

#icanfixhim.

jing yuan

a cheeky man, this one.

jing yuan could give you a load, barriage, arrows, whatever describes the endless assault of pecks he attacks your face with. emphasis on 'could', he has the ability, and the freedom but it doesn't mean he's going to :)

in short you have to work for it, he says.

you can't tell if he's trying to give you one of those motivational, slapping you back to reality lessons or messing with you. you're going to go for the latter since someone as bold as he is lazy.. even jing yuan would relate enough to not hit you with the lesson card.

in a way he's always dragging the time you've gone by without a kiss from him as long as he can just for the sole reason he can see your attempts to conceal your bothered face, even better when the expression of content is all but displayed to him once he gives in.

what? he can't resist you, you know?

you have a feeling he's teasing you again when he says that but it's better to not ponder upon it.

for someone who prefers to 'conserve' his energy. he's got a lot to spare when it comes to the repeated kisses pressed upon your lips, cheeks, eyelids, forehead.. whatever his own mouth can reach. (his favorite is the edges of your eyes..)

just for some reason, one he can't exactly name he ends up giving that particular area more love compared to the others. sometimes more lighter, feathery pecks when he's feeling playful. or the occasional longer, deep press of his lips when he's feeling rather sentimental about his feelings.

he doesn't deserve you.. but if not him, who else? ;)

gets mimi to help him into trapping you inside his office, jing yuan 'calls for your presence' but once you're inside rather than the pressing matters he apparently had to discuss with you (present in his message.) you're met with the man practically snuggling into you as he keeps you in his arms.

rather effortlessly if you might add!

and if you somehow managed to wriggle out his grip. you swore you saw him give the... big... cat a look and suddenly mimi is choosing to sleep right in front of the doors..

come back or you will not get kisses for two days (he's scamming u)

note. NOT PR... hi hsr fandom 🕳 posting in a new fandom makes me so nerviosity

[milaisreading]

Limited amount!!

🌱🩷: here is something for thr Crossdresser!Yn AU. I have been so depressed ever since I saw the leaks for the new JJK chapter... this is kind of helping me to get my mind off of it. Hope u like it🩷

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. In the story the boys will be using he/him when addressing Yn. Requests for this series are open.

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

"Are you...are you sure about this?" Anri asked the striker in front of her while Ego sat on his chair, eating his noodles.

"I think it's for the best, Teieri-san. To not waste money on manufacturing something that won't sell well." (Y/n) argued, confused as to why the older woman was so reluctant with agreeing. After all, the JFU would probably embrace the idea of saving money.

"Yeah, but... just 15? (Y/n), you know you do have fans-"

"I think that's for the best. I definitely don't have Isagi or Rin's popularity,  so I don't think my figurine will sell well. Please spare me this humiliation, Teieri-san, Ego-san. " (Y/n) explained as she held the prototype of her figurine that Anri gave her. It was nothing special, just a smaller version of her smiling in the Blue Lock uniform. There was a short silence as the striker looked at the two for a moment, hoping they will do her this one favor.

"I can't just-"

"Fine." Ego interrupted Anri, both now looking at the man.

"You did prove to be a great player and so far hid your identity very well. So we will grant you this one wish." Ego said as he finished his food. (Y/n) looked at him in shock for a moment, but then smiled and bowed.

"Thank you. Thank you, Ego-san." She kept repeating to the man, who just nodded his head. Anri looked nervously between the duo, wondering how all of this will end up.

"It's so weird seeing merch of myself." (Y/n) mumbled to herself as she walked to the bedroom she shared with Isagi, Rin, and Bachira. She chuckled a little, already knowing she will be greeted by Rin doing his usual yoga, and Isagi and Bachira messing around. And sure enough, when she opened the door she saw just that. Bachira and Isagi were telling jokes while Rin tried to hide his irritation while doing his normal yoga routine.

"(Y/n)! Where were you?! I need my hug buddy!" Bachira exclaimed as he saw the girl enter their room and lunged at her.

"Bachira, wait!" She shrieked as the boy ran to and engulfed her into a hug, nearly causing the girl to fall down. The girl stumbled back, but thankfully grabbed onto a wall to not injure himself or something.

'Bachira might not look like much, but God is he strong.'

"Hey, Bachira, could you maybe let go of me?" (Y/n) asked nervously.

"Nope~" The bicolored boy sang out, causing her the sigh and pat him on his back a few times. Meanwhile, Rin and Isagi were sending death glares at Bachira's back. Both were mad that he was the one to hug (Y/n) first, but also for causing her to nearly fall down.

"Bachira, let go of him." Isagi spoke up finally and went to grab Bachira's shirt, pulling the boy away from (Y/n).

"Hey!" The boy protested.

(Y/n) internally thanked Isagi for giving her the free space back.

"I will hug you later, Bachira. I am just really tired right now." She spoke up, trying to stop their argument, but neither was listening.

Rin, on the other hand, was staring at the trio in anger. Not only were they causing him a ruckus, but (Y/n) also said she will hug Bachira later.

'That mediocre player really doesn't deserve it.' He rolled his eyes, but then they landed on a small item on the floor. One he never saw before in his life.

Rin walked over and picked it up, only to discover that it was a small figurine of (Y/n).

When Bachira hugged her, she ended up losing her grip on the item, and neither her or the other two noticed it.

'What is this? And why does it look like (Y/n)?' Rin wondered, tapping the smiling figurines cheek.

'I basically touched his face now.' Rin thought with a blush, then looked over at the trio.

"Lukewarm, (Y/n)." He cleared his throat as the trio looked at him.

"Yes?" She asked as the other two sent Rin a glare for calling her a lukewarm.

"What is this?" He asked while showing them the figurine. Isagi and Bachira's eyes widened when they saw the item.

'A mini (Y/n)!' Bachira thought with stars in his eyes.

'So adorable!' Isagi's face turned redder.

"Oh... the JFU wants to test a first merch launch, and they picked me for it. It's just a prototype of what it will look like." (Y/n) explained, walking over to Rin and taking it our of his hand.

"Merch?! Of you?!" Bachira asked in excitement.

"Yeah... it's launching in two weeks." (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders, walking over to her shelf to put the item on it.

"So we- I mean, your fans will have the chance to own a mini you?!" Isagi asked with a huge smile and blush as (Y/n) turned to look at him.

"Basically."

Rin kept quiet as he stared at the figurine with wide eyes, also excited over these news.

'I will definitely buy one.' The three thought in determination.

"Tho, I was honored to be the first one, it would have been better if they picked a more popular player. I don't think mine will sell well, so I asked them to make only 15 of these." (Y/n) finished explaining, and the last part definitely left them deflated. 'ONLY 15?! How can I get one even?!' Bachira thought, already panicking that be won't be able to get his hands on one of the figurines.

'(Y/n), why would you do that?! How will I get my hands on one, when I have to fight against both your fangirls and the other players?!' Isagi gulped as anxiety took over his body.

'This lukewarm needs to work on his confidence, now I will have to start a blood bath.' Rin groaned.

"A-are you 3 alright?" (Y/n)'s worried voice interrupted their thoughts, and all 3 quickly nodded their heads.

"Of course we are!"

"Only 15?!" Reo and Barou exclaimed in disbelief as the trio explained the whole story from last night.

"What sort of confidence does he even have? Nagi, Reo, this is your fault." Otoya grumbled, earning side-glares from the two.

"How is this our fault? We didn't do anything." Nagi protested.

"Exactly that!" Yukimiya said, fixing his glasses.

"If you were good friends to (Y/n), you would have noticed he was in distress with his self-worth. Now, with me he would have not had these issues. I would have told (Y/n) everyday how wonderful and talented he is." The model said proudly, earning a scowl from Reo.

"Please shut up, show off. You are just mad (Y/n) doesn't like you."

"But Yukimiya does have a point." Karasu chimed in, glaring at Reo.

"Didn't you two basically abandon him during the 1st selection? Even during the 2nd one, Nagi, you basically acted like he didn't exist."

Barou pointed it out, which irritated the duo.

"You know nothing." Nagi said, glaring at the red-eyed boy.

"This is not the point now." Aryu clapped his hands, causing the rest to look at him.

"Aryu is right, we should focus on what's important." Kunigami added in.

"And that is, how do we get one of those figurines when there is only 15?"

The room fell silent as neither really knew how to answer that.

"Maybe we could try convincing (Y/n) that he should go for more figurines? Isagi, Barou, you two are the closest to him. Maybe you should try it." Kurona suggested as everyone looked at the duo. Both of them looked at each other, and then shook their heads.

"I don't think we should do that. It's his decision and I don't want him to feel bad about it." Isagi answered, Barou for the first time agreeing with something.

"Yeah... forcing him or convincing him will do us all more harm than good." Hiori added in.

"Well then, it's every man for himself. I will get my hand on one of those figurines." Karasu declared with a smirk.

"Not if I do first!" Bachira challenged back.

"Logically thinking, it's more likely that only one of us gets one... (Y/n) has many fans, so we are not competing just among each other anymore." Niko reminded them.

"Well, then I will be the one to get it." Rin said after a short pause, causing the rest to look at him weirdly.

"Now, why would you be the to get it?!" Otoya questioned.

"Because, I am the best one in this facility, therefore I deserve it more."

"Just because you are the best one, doesn't mean you deserve a figurine, Rin-chan~" Bachira said cheerfully.

"What?" Rin asked, irritated by the boy's remark.

"Bachira is right, if anything, someone who is close to (Y/n) should get the figurine. And that someone is me!" Chigiri finally spoke up, shocking everyone.

"What?! How are you the closest one with him?" Yukimiya remarked.

"We both braid each other's hair and talk for hours about the most random things-"

"So do I with (Y/n)." Aryu chimed in, which caused Chigiri to glare at him instead.

"Shut it. (Y/n) and I have spent so many hours training, we are the closest." Otoya added in, which drew Tokimitsu and Kunigami's attention.

"H-He does the same thing with me! Wh-which means I am pretty close with him, too!" Tokimitsu exclaimed.

"He is always there to help me with his skills, and even trains with me in the gym." Kunigami chimed in, causing a whole separate argument between them.

"This is ridiculous!" Reo sighed loudly, then pointed at himself and Nagi.

"Nagi and u have known (Y/n) for way longer than any of you have. We know everything there is to know about him."

This caused Barou and Isagi to roll their eyes.

"Yeah, and he trust us the most. He would be probably more happy for us to have a figurine than you guys-"

"Nagi, you and Reo literally turned your backs on him back in the beginning of this project. You have no leg to stand on." Isagi interrupted the albino, which made the duo tense up a little.

"And we apologized! He would vouch for us now!" Reo added in.

"None of you really deserve the figurine." Barou finally spoke up.

"(Y/n) and I have been partners since the beginning, we are the closest here. Especially after all the late night trainings." The king explained.

"But, you forget that (Y/n) has been chasing after me the whole time. Even during the 3rd selection, he always asked to train with me." Isagi added in proudly, drawing Rin's attention on him.

"Oh please. (Y/n) is probably too nice to tell you that you got boring. Why would the literal #2 of this facility go and seek out your assistance. I am the perfect choice. We especially got close during the 2nd selection when we would have dinner together after practice." The younger Itoshi explained, obviously mad that Isagi reminded him that (Y/n) always chased after him, never after Rin. The #1 player in Blue Lock.

"This is stupid. (Y/n) and I are obviously closer, our humor and passion to become better obviously bonds us the best." Karasu snorted.

"Karasu, no offense, but it's obvious that (Y/n) and I are closer. After all, he would come to talk to me about fashion choices."

As they argued, Hiori, who was standing next to Niko, spoke up as well.

"Now, I would be worthy of the doll too. After all, (Y/n) and I share similar homes, and we talk for hours about different video games."

"(Y/n) likes talking to me a out different sea animals. Even helps me with my braid sometimes. It's very nice of him." Kurona added in with a slight blush.

"Well, (Y/n) and I share a love for anime and manga. We would sometimes go to the monitor room and watch different animes on our phones. We even fell asleep there a few times." Niko admitted.

"So you are the reason he sometimes isn't in bed?!" Bachira yelled with a menacing smile.

"Niko, do you know how many nights I couldn't cuddle up to him while he slept?!"

"Bachira, that's weird!"

"What even-"

Hiori and Kurona said, staring at the bicolored boy. While everyone wad busy arguing, Gagamaru blinked at them a few times before walking out of the dining hall, an idea already brewing in his brain.

"Hmmm..."

2 weeks had passed, and the day of the merch launch finally happened. All the boys were anxiously waiting on their phones for the orders to start. They were all determined to get one of the figurines. They were so adorable, and captured the beauty of the striker perfectly. And finally, when the minute of the launch arrived, they quickly went to click on the 'order' option, only for them to be met with the most soul crushing sign.

'Sold out!' Read in big, red letters as if to mock the boys about their fail.

They expected something like this to happen, but it hurt the same.

Right now, they were all in the dining hall again, all depressed over losing the opportunity to get the (Y/n) figurine.

"I hate today." Reo said, resting his head on the table.

"I agree." Karasu and a few others nodded their heads as the door opened.

"Huh? Are you guys alright?" (Y/n)'s voice caused them to jump up and look at her.

"F-fine!" Isagi spoke up.

"We are great, just tired. And you? You seem pretty happy?" Karasu spoke up, noticing how less tense she was now.

"Oh? Ego-san just told me that the figurines of me sold out today, and they will do a relaunch in a month."

"Relaunch?! How many will it be this time?" Bachira asked as all eyes were on her.

"I don't know... maybe like 300 to 500, based on what Ego-san said." (Y/n)'s explanation caused them to sigh in relief a little. Finally they will have the chance to own one of those figurines.

"By the way, here, Gagamaru. As promised!" (Y/n) said, walking over to the goalkeeper, putting the prototype of her figurine on the table. The boy nodded quickly and slid his dinner to her as she sat across from him.

"Uhm... why are you giving Gagamaru that figurine?" Chigiri wondered.

"Oh? He promised to give me his dinner for a month in exchange for the figurine. His dinner happens to be my favorite dish!" (Y/n) explained cheerfully and went back to eating. She didn't register to cold looks and deathly glares Gagamaru was getting, but the boy didn't care. He just sat on his chair, smiling fondly at the figurine.

'Bastard!'

'That should have been me!!'

The group thought over and over, now hoping that the relaunch will happen as soon as possible.

[queenariesofnarnia]

just like lula

wrecker x f!reader

gif not mine!

wc: 660

warnings: none!

Ever since Wrecker has given Lula to Omega he has moments where he finds it impossible to be comforted. You hear him toss and turn some nights, and tonight was one of those nights. Tech just relieved you from your turn on watch duty bidding you a goodnight as you head to your bunk. Quietly walking past a sleeping Hunter and Echo you reach for Wrecker, gently placing a hand on his exposed arm.

“Wrecker are you alright?” you gently whisper to the large man. He turns around, eyes meeting yours in the dim light of the ship. You can see how tired he is mixed with sadness.

 Softly instructing him to scoot over before taking off your shoes placing them under the bunk. You sit next to him, maintaining eye contact with him. “Would you like to talk about it?” asking him as you rub his arm in a soothing way. He shakes his head, before turning to lay on his side gazing up at you.

“Could ya stay with me?” his voice soft as he asked hesitantly. You nod immediately, he gently hoists you over him. He knows you enjoy sleeping by the wall instead of the edge. “Would ya mind if we cuddle?” his question catches you off guard for a moment before you become elated.

“Yes Wreck of course we can” you smile at him crawling under the blanket with him. His arms wrap around your waist pulling you as close as he can, resting his head on top of yours. You rest your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat as you enjoy his warm embrace. It lulls you to sleep along with his soft snores. Everyone wakes up before the two of you, each of them taking a moment to see how peaceful you are and snapping a few photos for the “family album” you created. Finally waking up because you have to use the bathroom your eyes meet with Hunter’s as you sit up. The smile on his face is soft yet mischievous.

“Sleep well?” He questions offering you a hand to pull you over Wrecker. You graciously accept, trying not to wake the cuddly giant.

“Great actually” your smile is small, but Hunter knows you mean it.

“Does that mean you’ll finally tell him?” he asks before you enter the fresher.

“Make me a caf and you’ll get your answer sarge” you shrug. Hunter snorts a laugh before softly nudging Wrecker to wake him. He's definitely making your caf because he wants that answer.

“She’s in the fresher” he informs Wrecker before walking away from the bunks. Once you were out the fresher, your mediocre caf was awaiting you in the hands of Hunter. You thank him trying to reach for it. “I want my answer sarad” he says puling the cup out of reach.

“I’ll tell him after my caf” you simply say before accepting the cup sitting in the co-pilot seat to have your routine morning chat with Tech. Wrecker calls for you from the bunks, so you excuse yourself. Letting Tech know you’ll come back later to continue chatting.

“Hey Wreck” your smile brighter since you’ve had your morning fix.

“I wanted to say thanks for staying with me last night. Ya didn’t have to” he says sheepishly.

“No need to thank me. I’ll gladly do it whenever you need a cuddle” you sit next to him thighs touching due to the closeness. A few moments of silence pass before he speaks again.

“You were able to calm me down. Just like Lula” he tells you this with a grin.

“I’m glad to be of service Wreck. I care about you” you take his large hand in yours giving it a squeeze. You get up placing a kiss on his cheek before going back to everyone leaving him stunned.

“She kissed me!” He yells for everyone to hear. You all laugh at his outburst, hearing Hunter mumble finally.

[satorisoup]

OH I THINK I FOUND IT WAUHDSASDUH hii! i'm so sorry but i really don't know how to request stuff so i thought this is where u would request? i'm sorry if i don't request in the actual link (if there's any) this is my first timeee huhuuu, but i REALLYYY want to request an angst to fluff wherein reader gets quite jealous bc kuroo keeps getting hit on by other girls and she gets quite insecure. thank youu don't force urself if u don't have time to!!

#KUROOS’ FANGIRLS

#A/N : yes you found it! ugh kuroo is my fav i love him so much.

#WARNINGS : f!reader. petnames (sweetheart, baby). cursing. cheek kisses. angstish(?) to fluff.

kuroo is undeniably an attractive guy. flirty humor, pretty eyes, and a tall, muscular build. no one would usually think this could be a problem but to you, it was.

it’s annoying, really. sitting at his volleyball game trying to support your boyfriend, the squeals and loud yells of his name coming from random girls in the stands. pretty long hair, whispy curls or styled bangs, big eyes and blushy cheeks, cute little outfits put together.

when the end of the game came and it was time to go, a couple of the girls even had the courage to flirt with him right in front of you.

“your arms are so strong!”

“you looked so hot out there!”

and although kuroo would give a mediocre thank you with a wave of his hand, you couldn’t shake off the creeping feeling of intense jealousy.

these girls were so perfectly put together and fluttered their long eyelashes so prettily it almost made you sick. maybe you needed to put more effort, or grow your hair out more. maybe kuroo thought so too. maybe he didn’t even like you at all.

the walk and bus ride home with kuroo was eerily quiet. you couldn’t even bring yourself to say anything other than a quiet “good job tetsu.” back at the courts.

finally walking into his room and sitting yourself on the edge of his bed, not daring to look him in the eyes and instead focusing your attention on the window. you heard the rustling of his bag on the floor before you felt the bed dip as he sat next to you. you still made no effort to look at him.

“okay, tell me what’s wrong.”

you weren’t expecting him to just blantantly ask you. and you couldn’t help but feel entirely stupid for the answer that was about to leave your mouth.

“do you even like me, kuroo?” the question came out as almost a whisper as you waited for a response.

“sweetheart, of course i do. what are you talking about?” he responded, and you finally moved your head to lock eyes with him. his face filled with slight worry as he stared at you.

“i dont know… you just have so many other girls you could easily be with. i dont understand why u bother with me.”

his eyes softened before responding, “because i love you. i could care less about any other girls because you’re the one i fell in love with.”

you smiled softly at him before being embraced by kuroo’s arms. wet kisses planted on your cheeks and a not so real “ew!” followed with soft laughter. he was right. he was dating you. he knew you like the back of his hand just as well as you knew him. he chose you over anyone else. why be insecure when everything he’s ever told you has proven to be true? its you and kuroo, and it always will be.

“no need to be so jealous, baby. im all yours.”

“quiet, tetsu.”

[justanotherrpmeme]

Training from hell

"I'll do whatever it takes to make you stronger."

"I'll push you to your limits and beyond. Only then will you become what you need to be."

"No pain, no gain. You want to survive out there? This is the only way."

"Welcome to your personal hell. Hope you brought a map."

"Is this really necessary? Can't we tone it down a bit?"

"Weakness is just a state of mind! Push through it!"

"You think this is tough? This is just the warm-up. Embrace the pain, and you'll embrace strength."

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"You think this is tough? The world out there is tougher. Train harder."

"You'll thank me when you're the last one standing."

"Is there an end to this madness?"

"This is only the beginning. The world won't wait for you to catch your breath."

"You saved me once, and now it's time for me to push you beyond your limits."

"Brace yourself."

"Consider me your shield against weakness."

"This training will help you."

"Stand by my side, and together we'll navigate this training."

"I'll shield you from the forces of mediocrity."

"Get ready for a training that delves into the unknown."

"To protect you from the machinations of failure, I'll train you to challenge even the highest standards."

"I'm your self-appointed drill sergeant."

"This training will cost you nothing but effort."

[ATTACK] The mentor attacks the trainee when they least expect it, teaching the importance of constant vigilance.

[STRENUOUS] The trainee is put through intense physical exercises in challenging environments.

[TEST] The mentor tests the trainee's resilience and determination.

[LOCATION] The trainee endures training in an environment that mirrors the harsh conditions they might face in the real world.

[BARRIER] The mentor challenges the trainee with exercises that seem impossible, pushing them to break their own perceived limits.

[STRAIN] The mentor employs psychological tactics to test the trainee's mental fortitude and concentration.

[CHALLENGE] The trainee is dropped into a survival scenario, forcing them to adapt quickly to unexpected challenges.

[ENDURANCE] The mentor devises an endurance test that pushes the trainee's physical and mental endurance to the brink.

[RESILIENCE] The trainee is put through situations that cause physical pain, aiming to build resilience and pain tolerance.

[GRUELING] The mentor insists on an exercise routine that seems excessively difficult, aiming to forge strength through adversity.

[raisedbythetv89]

joss's sick obsession with not just causing pain and suffering - but punishment and humiliation to his "pretty popular girl" archetype characters aka Buffy and Cordelia and his favoritism of the most horrible mediocre white men aka riley, xander, and angel is never more apparent than in Into the Woods

The writers opted not for the FANTASTIC call back to season 1 with owen and Never Kill a Boy on the First Date when Buffy says "two days in my world and owen really would get himself killed…. or I'd get him killed… or someone else...."

which set them up perfectly for the road map of Buffy's attempt at a "normal" relationship that angel, her mother, and the scoobies keep trying to push her to have (when she's not normal herself so of course it's gonna be a disaster which is soooooo trying to force a queer person to be straight coded which is why spuffy is inherently queer on top of them both being canonically bisexual because Buffy embracing her love of Spike is embracing her inherent queerness)

But could you IMAGINE how amazing it would have been for season 1 to have foreshadowed riley being turned at the suck house (because literally all that evil in Sunnydale and NO ONE takes the opportunity to turn the slayer's boyfriend into the perfect secret weapon to take her and her whole family out??? PLEASE)

Then vamp riley almost killing Dawn and her mother (because Dawn would be the one tricked into inviting him in as a call back to Dawn accidentally inviting Harmony in and Buffy saying she's gonna get us all killed plus angel tricking his little sister into inviting him in once he was turned)

Buffy is forced to kill him after pleading with him to remember he loves her or any part of who he was (which would further show how exceptional Spike's ability to form a truce with Buffy, keep it, and fall in love with her all without a soul is)

Making riley her second (third if we count ford being left for dead and then having to dust him) turned evil boyfriend she's forced to kill.

Buffy would still be DEVASTATED and it's Buffy so she'd still punish and blame herself even though it'd be all riley's fault (demonstrating how this storyline would still cause immense pain for Buffy and be very high stakes drama for the plot but again joss elected for humiliation having Buffy literally chase after the man who was cheating on her with vampires while she was dealing with a sick mother and a hell god after her sister. Favoring a white man's character over the best plot line)

All while also further setting up her and Spike's relationship because of the "if that's what I wanted I'd be dating Spike" of it all which was her basically saying if I didn't want normal, Spike would be who I'd choose and now she's tried to be normal and he got killed, almost killed her family and then she had to kill him just like season 1 Buffy knew would happen when she broke things off with owen!!

AND the poetic irony of her trying to be “normal” and it ends with the exact same result?? The lesson being that rejecting who you are is not the answer and the only true answer is self acceptance because pain will happen no matter what so might as well love and embrace yourself ???

BUT NOOOOOOO the writers aka joss opted for riley's narrative to be that he's a hero and a good guy always, no matter what because joss has a big fat crush on marc and guys like him, angel and oz all get written off by treating women like shit without being villainized for it at all and then leaving. Getting to go on to live rich and fulfilling lives while Kendra, Tara, Cordy, and Anya are all violently killed off with barely any time spent grieving their deaths by more than one character..... (I haven't ever been able to finish ats so I don't know how much this applies to cordy's but my guess is the pattern didn't change much)

THEY EVEN LOOK THE SAME FOR CHRIST’S SAKE IT WRITES ITSELF

[ludivineikewolf]

Stop Reading And Fuck Me [Rio Ortiz]

For two idiots madly in love.....

A/n: SMUT NSFW KIDS GO AWAY. Tis just a wee lil exchange thingy I'm doing with Arson. Let's assume for my sanity that Ciel was wearing shorts and they existed during the medieval era. Also grammatical mistakes cuz I'm dyslexic/j. Enjoy everyone! <3

@bakersgrief @floydsteeth @matchasilver @sh0jun @queengiuliettafirstlady

Pairing: Rio×Ciel( @floydsteeth 's OC)

Tw: NSFW; smut; mediocre fluff; dirty talk; oral sex; cunnilingus; fingering; light bondage; handjob; little bit of blowjobs too; vaginal sex; couch sex; riding; cowgirl; "just the tip"; overstimulation; crying Rio; dacryphilia; praise; multiple orgasms; creampie; cock warming; aftercare; cuddles.

Ciel was lounging lazily on the sofa, a book propped lazily on her tits... The same ones Rio loved to suck and mark and bury his face in. She stretched her body, toes curling and letting out a contented sigh.

"Whatcha reading?"

"What do you think?"

She showed him the front of the hard copy book she was reading.

"Romance Of The Rose? I bet Prince Chevalier recommended it."

"...not really. I stole it... heh."

She stretched again, her fingers gripping the book harder. She smiled at Rio and pulled her legs closer to herself to let him sit. He does and pulls one of her legs on his lap, massaging it gently.

"Mmmh... Rio.."

The sunlight shining from the window reflected on her pretty blue eyes and her beautiful dark brown hair splayed on the cushion, illuminating her like she was some beautiful portrait of an angel.

"Yes, my love?"

"I'm reading...."

Rio grins at her and his fingers trace their way up to her thigh.

"I can see that..."

Ciel gives him a mock stern look and the rosy tint creeps up her neck.

"Well you're distracting me..!"

Ciel lays the book flat on her stomach and glares at him, the blush embracing her cheeks betraying how much she enjoyed this 'distraction'.

As she predicted, it didn't take long for his fingers to cheekily trail up her inner thigh, grazing against the apex of her legs but she decides to continue reading, unfazed by him.

Feeling bold, Rio's fingers slip under her shorts and trace along the edge of her underwear. Ciel's hips jerk slightly and heat had started pooling between her legs in anticipation of what her boyfriend would do next.

"Rio. I'm reading."

"I can see it, Ciel."

She lets out a sigh but of course she continues to read pretending to be unfazed by his antics. His thumb rubbed over her clothed cunt and she had to restrain herself from thrusting her hips towards his naughty fingers.

His fingers slip under the waistband of her shorts and slowly slip them off her. She doesn't resist nor does she help him. She simply lays draped over the couch trying to read calmly.

The wet spot on her underwear betrayed her though. His practised fingers were already teasing her over her underwear, ruining it along the way. Rio tugs her darkened underwear off her body, leaving her completely bare and exposed to his hungry eyes and mouth.

"Hey... You naughty little thing. Stop that!"

"Stop what? You're gonna have to be a little bit more specific than that."

Rio lifts her leg and puts it on top of the backrest of the couch and the other one on his shoulder. Ciel lets out a tiny giggle, unable to pretend anymore but tries to complete the page nonetheless.

When Rio's tongue finds her slit, she could barely hold the book straight. His tongue drags from her needy hole to the sensitive bud above it. Ciel moans and jerks her hips into his face.

Rio gladly accepts her offering and takes it as his cue to slip his sly little tongue inside her. Ciel moans again, her eyes unsteady and completely unable to focus on the book in her trembling hands.

"Rio...!"

"Mmmh...."

His tongue leaves her hole only to be replaced by his fingers, gently thrusting in and out while his tongue worked her sweet bundle of nerves. Ciel whines loudly and the book drops to the floor. Her hands tangle with his hair instead.

His slick fingers, which were previously inside her, stroking her sweet spot again and again, left her needy little cunt and spread open her legs wider. She gasps when his nose pressed against her clit and his tongue dove into her, stoking the fire.

His tongue knew her so well. It didn't take long before she was screaming his name and cumming on his tongue. He doesn't stop though. His tongue caresses her warmth and lets her ride out her orgasm.

She could taste herself when he kissed her, gently stroking her hair and undoing his own clothes. He only goes as long as taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt when she flips him over.

With roles reversed, him beneath her, at her mercy, Ciel picks up his tie which was lazily discarded on the floor beside her book and ties Rio's hands behind his back.

"Ciel...?"

His eyes widen slightly in surprise but he doesn't resist. He just lays on the plush cushions, his hair a little ruffled and his cheeks turning pink, not to mention it was broad daylight, so everything was perfectly visible on his face.

"Oh honey... I'm gonna have so much fun with you."

He gasps when Ciel unbuckles his belt. His cock sprang free from the confines of his pants and stood tall and aching for her.

"Look at you... I bet you want me to fuck you so bad already."

He nods urgently trying to form words that die down when Ciel starts pumping his cock with her soft hands.

"Oh god...! Ciel! Yes...!"

She licks the precum dripping from his slit with a mischievous little grin on her face. Soon he'll be begging her to stop. He just didn't know it.... yet.

His hips jerk upwards and into her hands to fuck them.

"How naughty... I thought I was in control."

She lifts her hips slightly to line him with her hole and drags his cock along her folds to collect the slick that had gathered there.

She slides him in herself. Not all the way through. Just the tip. Her hands were back on his shaft, pumping enthusiastically.

"Hnng..!?"

That irresistible look on his and that delicious blush was making it hard for her to just not fuck him.

She could feel herself tightening around the tip of his cock. Rio gasps and tries to buck his hips into her. A desperate attempt to be fully inside her pussy.

"Just the tip... For now."

Rio pouts his lips at this and that pucker was too cute to just not kiss. She leans in to kiss him and rolls her hips just once to give him a taste of heaven before resuming her previous tormenting position.

Rios reaction said it all. He nearly could've cum right then. Didn't he just love being buried inside her?

"Hope your arms don't hurt because I'm not untying them."

Rio mumbled something about wanting to do something with her but it was barely coherent. He was always putty in her hands. This time, quite literally.

Ciel's pace increases and the feeling of him twitching in her hands brought a triumphant smile to her face.

"Cum for me... Rio. You're doing so well."

And just like that he lets out a shuddering groan. His body tenses up before he cums inside her, releasing thick white ropes of his cum and painting her walls his colour.

When his body finally relaxes, Ciel brushes a strand of hair away from his face.

"I'm just getting started, love. I'll have you crying by the end of this."

"Cie- aahgg..!"

She sits down on his cock, fully sheathing him inside her and a tiny guttural moan leaves her. His cum dripping out of her providing extra lubrication for her to sink down on him easier.

"You were saying?"

"I- oh god Ciel!"

She wasn't really looking for him to talk. Just scream her name. Her hips rolling on his were doing exactly that. His voice would get hoarse soon enough.

She puts her hands on his toned abdomen and bounces on his cock. He thrusts himself up, meeting her halfway. His moans were getting louder with each thrust.

He keeps thrusting into her from below making her yelp his name. Every time their bodies met, a dull slap resonated across their ears.

Her juices mixed with his were flowing down her thighs and onto his pants, creating a nice wet patch.

Her hole greedily clenched around him and his hips started to stutter, signalling that he was going to cum again.

"That's ...right. Cum- ... inside me again...!"

With one final thrust he orgasms. Ciel doesn't stop to let him adjust though. She continues bouncing on his cock.

"Ciel! Stop! I'm going to cum again..!"

"That's exactly..! What I want you-...to do!"

He screams out her name again as he orgasms again so quickly under her ministrations. Ciel laughs at him with a twinkle in her eye as she continues taking his cock deep inside her.

Rio whines and writhes under her, struggling to get his hands out of their imprisonment. Ciel tuts at him with a mock disappointed look.

"You're not getting out of that."

"Ciel... please! Untie me please...!"

"I'll think of it once I've milked you dry."

Rio groans loudly as another orgasm crashes over him. This orgasm made sure to have his eyes roll back into his head and to leave him a trembling and babbling mess under her. She slides him out of her pussy and giggles at him.

Her fingers wrap around his cock again. Slowly and excruciatingly pumping up and down his slick and still hard cock.

"You're still hard. How greedy ..."

"I- Ciel... Gah!"

Her lips wrap around his throbbing cock, only for a moment... Thankfully. Otherwise he would have burst in her mouth and face. She wouldn't have minded it though.

He was starting to feel raw from cumming so many times in a few minutes. And her hot tongue teasing and wrapping around his dick wasn't really helping the overstimulated feeling.

She lifts her hips to put his cock right where it belonged and his cum starts oozing out of her.

"Look at you... You made such a mess."

Tears start welling up in Rios eyes when she sinks back down on him.

"Ciel..."

Her hips start rocking slowly on him. Didn't help him because he was already moaning, tears finally slipping down his eyes.

It was funny how he could take being edged for nearly an entire day but would absolutely lose his mind if he came a few times. It was cute.

"Awww look at you... You look so cute."

And cute he looked. His nose reddening and tears slipping from his pretty blue eyes, down the sides of his flushed face, his trembling bottom lip between his teeth, trying so hard to not let a sob wrack his throat.

It suited him so well. The way tears kept spilling down his flushed face made her clench hard around him. He sniffs.

"It feels so good but- gehhh...!"

He whines loudly. She wipes his tears and smiles at him. He sniffs again.

"Ciel please..! How much longer...?"

"Last round?"

He bites his lips again and nods. Ciel sinks down completely on him down to the base of his cock. The tip of it hits her cervix and she groans as her eyes roll back.

Her walls start to clench harder around his twitching cock soon. Both of them finally cum together and she collapses on top of him, completely spent.

"Can you stay in me a little longer?"

"Mmm..."

His cum oozes out of her, dripping down his balls and seeping into the fabric of his pants. Her hands reach behind him and untie his hands, discarding the tie back on the ground beside the other things that were haphazardly lying there.

Ciel kisses his temple and tucks back the hair sticking onto his forehead with his sweat.

They both wrap their arms around each other, basking in the afterglow.

"Rio... I love you."

Ciel tries to sit up but Rios groan indicates otherwise.

"Ciel that hurts."

"Oppsies...! "

She lifts her hips to let him slide himself out of her nicely fucked, cum dripping pussy. She settles back down on him, arms wrapped around his neck and pressing teasing little kisses to his face.

He manages a weak chuckle before burying his tear stained face in the crook of her neck.

"I love you too, Ciel. I love you too...."

She snuggles closer into him, letting his hand cup her ass as they both fall asleep in each other's arms in broad daylight.

Oh and the book? It was long forgotten. Poor Ciel. She didn't mark the page which she'd left on.

[moonchild033]

Mediocre or Way too good Vedic Chart? Which is better to have? 🤫❤

This is my share of personal belief and placements, this is not any observation post, so if you don't wanna read, feel free to skip 💌

Are you one of the people who feel bad about not having any exalted or so-called 'auspicious ' placements? Then this can provide some insight and support to you based on what I think.✨

I have a pretty good chart (not bragging, read the full post to know my opinion). I would say having so many good placements in your chart without much contradictory aspects or placements, is worse than having a mediocre chart.😶

If you have an amazing chart, it makes you lazy, makes you feel ✨ I AM DESTINED TO HAVE EVERYTHING ✨. But what does it get you? Absolutely nothing. You should have some contradicting placements to fuel the passion inside you, to fight against the odds, to have the motivation to work for your dreams.❤

You can achieve great things by hardwork, regardless of how lucky, supportive or not your chart placements are BUT you can't achieve anything without trying for it even when you sit on your ass with a chart of exalted placements.😌

Having many easy aspects and exalted placements are that much of a curse than a boon. It's like that saying in our place, 'Anything too much is toxic'. This is a sign to embrace your hard aspects and mediocre chart, be grateful of the fighting nature you got no matter what life throws at you, this will get you to great lengths in life eventually. 🤫

If you are someone who has the so-called way too good chart like me, please wake up to reality, don't let your talents go to waste. It is such a waste if you are blessed but you decide to sit on your ass and throw away opportunities that come to your side. This is your sign to NOT rely on your luck and destiny anymore without working for it, everything has a price in this world and we've to work for it. Just remember there are many people who have to put in 2x hardwork to achieve the same as you, it's so wrong and disrespectful to waste god given luck and talents, if something comes easy to you, don't procrastinate and ignore that, push harder and reach more heights. 😌❤

As for my friends who have more hard aspects or placements, YOU ARE A FIGHTER and you will definitely achieve your dreams eventually through your own determination & hardwork. I believe in you and I want you to believe in yourself too. If something doesn't come easy to you, if you feel like you've to put in too much work than your peers to achieve the same, let it be, you're gonna be more experienced and skilled ✨gradually✨.

With Love- Yashi ❤⚡

Masterlist 💖

[kolyasangel]

ALL I WANTED WAS TO FLY HIGH

synopsis: nikolai thought he'd been gifted wings to soar high and finally get a taste of sweet freedom, but little did he know that his desires would lead to dire consequences.

content: ch. 3 of icarus falls - main navi / wc: 3.9k

Nikolai doesn't know how long he's been sitting here. The sun was starting to rise, and his breathing was still shallow.

Dead. He's dead.

A cold sensation brushed against his face from the bloodied hand he was holding, more so gripping onto, finding the actuality of the situation unbelievable as his mind still hadn't completely registered reality yet. Frigid fingers grazed against Nikolai's cheek of his own volition, his own arm manipulating the movements of the dismembered one. The lifeless body of his former friend was near, but he couldn't bring himself to look at the now what would be a rotting corpse—half of the reason being he feared that he wouldn't be able to stomach what would be a gruesome sight despite all the horrors he'd executed himself, and the other half being that he couldn't shift from his current spot, the shock leaving him in a motionless and dazed state since the dusk of sundown.

Confusion. Sorrow. Guilt.

He felt too many things at once.

But why wasn't he content? This situation might've not exactly gone how he'd planned it to unfold, but the end result was what he wanted this whole time, so in theory, he should be nothing more than elated about the outcome. Yet, something is gnawing at his heart, an uncomfortable feeling he wishes wasn't there.

Who would've known that trying to erase all feelings and emotions would only bring more misfortune?

Nikolai didn't.

On the brink of finally tasting long-awaited freedom, everything was fine like it was supposed to be. At least, that's what he thought.

“Over happiness, I choose the freedom of my soul.”

That’s right.

Drunken on the self-pledged promise of liberation, he was blissfully oblivious to the consequences that would soon await him with every step he had taken towards the sunlit realm of freedom. One thing happened after another, and before he knew it, the only person he held dear to him had died right in front of his eyes.

Nikolai flew too close to what he thought was a guiding light, even touching it for a second, only for it to fall away from his grasp instantly. In a fleeting moment, his heart went against his head—these finely crafted wings of hubris and wax proved to be vain, for the day he could finally experience full-fledged freedom was no longer in sight. The wax of ambition melted from the heat of reality with indescribable swiftness, and the emitting flames seared his skin. Forced to face this bitter reality of his shattered ambitions, he grappled with the burning anguish of his deprived desires as he found himself plummeting from the lofty heights of his dreams, the suffocating waves of despair threatening to engulf him, pulling him into their relentless undertow.

His eyes closed, fearful to look beyond the unexpected drop. The wind kissing his cheeks and passing through his hair provided a brief source of comfort as he fell in contrast to how heavy his heart was now—heavy with the unbearable weight of regret, heavy with the burden of unfulfilled aspirations.

He fell head first, plunging and drowning into the unforgiving embrace of these shallow waters, his body surrounded by raging tides, unsought emotions overflowing in his lungs and into his heart—the tough layers he built up all these years to protect it and avoid becoming susceptible to injury, now damaged. The heart is the core of the soul, and his—once filled with the fire of conviction, was now a smoldering ruin, haunted by the echoes of his empty yearnings.

Falling back to the mediocre life in the society he loathed was something Nikolai never imagined. But here he was, doomed once again to live as a "normal" individual. That intense hunger was no longer in his eyes, devoid of any liveliness and filled with nothing but sorrow. Nikolai had ignored any and all warnings, allowing his fervor to eclipse the prudence that might have saved him from his impending fall. Now he was here, all alone, left to deal with the unbearable heaviness of the world's weight he had never chosen to bear on his shoulders.

Despite his noble pursuit of freedom, Nikolai found himself ensnared by the very chains from which he had sought to break free. The thing he had pursued so fervently had slipped through his fingers, leaving him adrift in a sea of disillusionment. And the flames of his ambition, once ablaze with hope and determination, had turned into a funeral pyre, consuming his longings and leaving nothing but ashes in their wake. Within the labyrinth of his soul, he wandered, trapped by the cruel irony of his fate. The freedom he'd so eagerly chased had eluded him, leaving him stranded in the barren wasteland of his unmet goals.

As he gazed upon the broken remnants of his dreams, Nikolai fought with the bitter truth that perhaps he had been fated to fall, an utter fool whose wings had failed to bear him to his intended heights.

Muffled voices of the enigmatic detective and the mafia executive could be heard in the background right after he knelt and clasped the arm in his hands, holding it close to him. He didn't care about what they were talking about, couldn't, when his mind was blocking out anything and everything around him like he was in his own bubble, feeling like a stranger to himself.

— ✦

One year later.

If someone had told Nikolai he'd be living alone in an apartment in a city far away from everything he's ever known after a tragic happening that essentially ruined his life, he would have laughed in their face. He would assume they were trying to emulate his jesting nature when they apprised him of something so ludicrous and utterly preposterous.

Yet, the thought of it wasn't comical when that was now indeed his reality.

It was practically a miracle that he was still alive. The reason why he hadn't given up on everything was an enigma to him—at least he wanted to believe as such. The truth was, he was a coward. Every time he would attempt, he'd back away immediately in fear, his life flashing before his eyes, the tears clouding his vision following after. He was too afraid.

The sun shining through the window and the birds singing outside signal a new day. It was always what he woke up to, not bothering to set an actual alarm for the uneventful day he knew he would have to face anyway. Everything seemed to blend into one another, relentless tedium being all that his days consisted of. The evenings were the hardest. If not sleeping the day away, he often found himself aimlessly walking around in circles around his apartment or standing on the balcony for an indefinite amount of time, the occasional background noise from neighbors that broke the deafening silence in his apartment doing little to dispel the overwhelming amount of measly thoughts that crept into his mind.

With his eyes still closed, his arm reaches outward to feel for his phone on the nightstand, only opening his eyes as they meet the bright screen— 10:11 a.m.

That's a new record, surprisingly. Five days in a row, he'd woken up before noon, a change from his usual habit of sleeping past twelve. He wasn't quite the morning person. Most nights were inevitably restless, with nothing but his thoughts accompanying him as he stared at the ceiling with dull eyes. It never left him—this isolation, an ever-present state enveloping him like a second skin.

Numb.

But at least it was a change from sleepless nights where he would have the same dream, envisioning the whole scene going down and waking up in a cold sweat, the fresh tears on his face never seeming to stop coming from being subjected to reliving painful memories all over again. He believes this is the price he pays for his irrational behavior—a punishment, perhaps.

It's been months since he's had one of those nights.

Warm flesh. A beating heart. The reminders confirm he is still very much alive.

Even summoning the effort to pull himself out of bed and complete his morning routine was an everyday struggle. Lugging himself up from the comfort and warmth of his bed, he drags his feet against the wood and enters the bathroom. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, his hands ran through his unkempt, tangled hair before reaching up to absentmindedly claw at his skin, his fingers grazing along the scar he found unsightly.

Don't blame the mirror if your face is faulty.

A hand reaches for the faucet, fingers brushing against the cold metal of the sink handle before cool water streams down, causing a chill to run up his arm, sending a shiver through his body and forming goosebumps all over his pale skin.

He takes a sudden breath in, his nose twitching with an invisible itch before—a pause. A slow, soft exhale escapes his lips, a small sigh of relief leaving him as everything falls back into place. The cold he was dealing with was nothing more than a minor annoyance, but to add insult to injury, it was freezing inside the apartment.

"Son of a bitch.." His hoarse voice grumbles, feeling immediate discomfort from speaking due to the irritation in his throat. The heater was broken again, for the second time in the middle of the winter. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary though, because he'd become accustomed to the run-down apartment a while ago.

Finishing up his routine, he exited the bathroom while nimble fingers gently sectioned and braided his hair, adorning the braid with a black pom-pom hair tie. He changed into a button-down shirt and slipped into some dark pants before opening his closet to look for a coat to wear so he wouldn't have to succumb to the chilliness of the weather outside, his braid swaying gently with his movements.

Unintentionally, his eyes trail from the clothing in front of him to the closet floor, white buried in a pile of clothes that he still hasn't folded and properly put away yet. The last remnants of his former identity that he'd left behind, sitting in his closet. He didn't bother to neatly hang the coat up on a hanger either, another easy way the article of clothing could come into his visibility. The only reason he was still hanging onto it was because he needed money. He didn't have a job, and his ability allowed him to steal whenever he needed to easily. Granted, he didn't need his coat to use his ability, but it was useful whenever he needed to quickly steal and stash things away, for he couldn't risk the chance of anyone recognizing him in public for who he used to be. Although, he only had to go through the trouble when money was getting tight.

Grabbing a coat from the rack, he lazily drags it over his frame and stuffs his keys along with some cash notes into his coat pocket before making his way out of his bedroom and to the front door. The sensation of cold yet invigorating air fills his lungs when he steps outside, causing him to clasp his arms closer to himself to keep warm. His nose becomes runny, and the harsh wind prompts tears to form in his eyes, the frigid cold nipping at his cheeks and fingertips, making them feel as if they were burning as he made his way toward his car.

"Finally paid rent, Nikolai? Very unexpected of you," the older man's mocking voice breaks the peaceful stillness, making the tenant he was talking to look at them both confusedly. But Nikolai keeps walking, dismissing any further remarks from being said. As much as he tried his best to ignore how others treated him and control his feelings, that didn't mean he wasn't affected by it, unable to help but feel the sting.

Every day was the same. Well, not always. Sometimes, he changes up his routine, albeit not frequently, so the repetition wouldn't drive him completely insane. Going outside was a daunting task, and the occurrence of him stepping out of the apartment only happened once in a blue moon when he would have to purchase essential items such as groceries and whatnot. However, he had a different reason for going outdoors today.

— ✦

The soft cotton of the embroidery thread brushed against his fingers, the fibers smooth and cool to the touch.

He'd recently revisited old hobbies from his childhood to keep himself occupied, bringing a lone sense of solace to life's dullness. This was probably the greatest amount of excitement he felt once in a while amidst his monotonous days, his eyes trailing on the vibrant hues of various threads, picking between different shades he needed and wanted to try.

He did get some stares at random from ladies on occasion, most likely wondering what a guy like him was doing in this aisle, looking so intently at the selection of thread. But he couldn't care less about what they thought of him. What was so weird about it anyway? People really need to mind their own damn business.

Footsteps against the tile floor sounded as he leisurely took his time in different aisles, content with his choices already in the small basket. He eventually makes his way to the front of the store to be greeted by the cashier, eliciting a forced smile from him. His hand reaches into his pocket, pulling out crumpled bills while his items are being scanned. He really needed to get a wallet soon, so he didn't have to do this every time.

A slight sense of nausea overtakes him when something too familiar is injected into his mind as he uses his fingers to straighten the bills out on the counter with trembling hands, remembering the source of the money all too well. It poisons his whole system before he can even think of anything else, further irritating him at the fact that this affects him so easily.

Stolen money.

Guilt.

— ✦

As he stepped out of the craft shop, dead leaves crunching underneath his shoes echoed in the crisp air, the plastic bag in his hand rustling against the harsh wind. The trees now stood bare, stripped of their leaves due to the bitter frost. With each inhale, the chilly air filled his lungs, and with each exhale, he watched his breath escape into a visible cloud.

The winter always brought back a wave of wistful nostalgia for him, washing over him whenever the season came around. It invoked cherished memories of carefree days—reminiscing about sharing warm meals with his mother and playing in the snow as a kid, snickering when he ate snow despite being told not to. Though he would soften when his mother gently ruffled and patted his head after he eventually apologized with his hands clasped together behind his back, paired with a coy smile on his face that always seemed to work like a charm whenever he got in trouble. He never liked listening to rules or directions ever since he was young—always trying to find a way to defy them in any way he saw possible. The sense of rebellion had always been a part of his nature, even from a young age. Although, this was only a mischievous child's way of having fun. He wasn't aware that the mindset would follow him into adulthood and continue to shape his approach to life in unforeseen ways for reasons other than this.

Not having any destination in mind, he meandered past different stores and whatnot, glancing at colorful lights and festive decorations adorning the shops for the holidays. He has walked here many times since it was close to where he lived, and everything was within walking distance. It was quiet, not bustling with business, unlike the busier parts of the city, probably because the weather and dark days of winter kept people locked inside the comfort of their own homes. Although he preferred to stay at home more than anything, he always felt at ease whenever he walked these parts of town, taking in the vibrant atmosphere of it all before he had to walk back to a not-so-vibrant one.

He stopped in front of his favorite cafe, which was practically beckoning him to come inside. After all, he could use something to warm him up and soothe his sore throat.

Upon entering the cafe, the jingling of bells signals his entrance. The immediate warmth of the inside envelopes him, heating him from the biting cold outside. He pays no mind to the friendly smile given to him by the employee who sees him, keeping his head down at an angle to avoid reciprocating the gesture. Instead, he skips the greetings and orders his usual comfort in the winter—a warm cup of honey lemon tea with ginger. The combination of sweet and sour in the drink was something he enjoyed, relishing the contrast between the two flavors and how they complemented each other so well. Furthermore, it always did wonders whenever he fell sick, cutting through his congestion and helping to alleviate any pain he would feel in his throat.

He stands in front of the glass display while he waits, gazing at the desserts while his breath creates a fog against the surface. His cold fingertips linger on the glass, the warmth of fresh goods baked this morning radiating onto his hand.

"Sir, would you like anything else?" a polite voice breaks his daze when they notice Nikolai's downward gaze, making him look up.

"This one, please," he quietly mutters, pointing to a flaky raspberry pastry, an urge to stray from his usual choice randomly hitting him. The thought of trying something new today seemed particularly appealing. A little change, big or small, couldn't hurt now and then.

He watches as the barista carefully picks his choice of pastry before deftly packaging it into a brown bag and handing it over to him with a smile, the warmth of the freshly baked treat palpable through the paper. Returning to their task, Nikolai watches as their fingers skim over a familiar yellow box of herbs before preparing the kettle. He always appreciated the swiftness when it came to brewing his tea, the actions pleasing to watch.

Once he hears his name called, he retrieves his finished tea and pays for both before muttering a quiet thank you. Just as he was about to leave the cafe, he paused—a brief thought of consideration about whether or not he should stay inside the cafe hindering him. It would probably be a good idea to stay for a little longer, killing some time before returning home so soon sounding appealing, especially considering the weather. But without giving it any further thought, he braces himself as he steps closer to the door, leaving the comfortable warmth of the cafe.

A breath of relief leaves his cold lips as he brings the tea closer, taking a sip of the warm drink. As he steps onto the sidewalk, his eyes are drawn to a lone pigeon wandering around, pecking at the ground, its scavenging for food seemingly futile. His eyebrows furrow as he observes the bird's fruitless attempts to find sustenance.

Unwrapping the pastry and tearing off a piece, he offers it to the hungry bird, who eagerly accepts it. He feels a tug at the corners of his mouth, bringing a rare genuine smile to creep up on his face.

— ✦

It had been a few hours since Nikolai got home. He'd been busy with his task, now clad in a knit sweater with his braid laying over his shoulder—an empty cup of tea and an empty bowl of what were leftovers beside him.

With glasses perched on his nose, he focused intently on the stitches, his tongue peeking out slightly in concentration while delicately stitching onto the fabric with the needle and thread. There was an unusual carefulness held in his fingers and actions as the soft texture of the fabric brushed under his fingertips.

It was trivial, but his small hobbies brought a little color to his monochrome life, briefly breaking the numbing routine that defined his days. He enjoyed sewing clothing and embellishing collars, shirt cuffs, and such afterward, fond of the process of meticulously working on such intricate details. Pulling out a piece of old patchwork passed down from his mother, he compared his handiwork to hers, holding on to the hope that he would someday match her skill.

He didn't realize how much time had passed before he glanced out the window. The sky darkened much for what only felt like an hour to him, and he was taken aback at how quickly the day had slipped away. The sun was going to set soon.

With a sigh, he sets aside his work and cleans up his space before stretching, a cough leaving his lungs and aching throat. Brushing messy strands of hair away from his eyes, he stands up and walks to his door. As soon as he opens the front door, he is unkindly greeted with cool air hitting him, his feet meeting the cold ground as he steps closer to the balcony. Watching the sunset was routine for him, a strangely calming one. He watched how the birds flew freely across the darkening sky, without a single care, without any restraints.

How lucky they are.

Nikolai's internal conflict was like a tempest raging within him, tearing at him from all sides. His former ideals are still there, weighing on his conscience. Though it was lighter—not as heavy as it was once before, some weight pushed off as doubt tickled his thoughts on the notion that he would ever be free. But with nothing left to fall back onto after his accident, he found himself slowly crawling back to his old habits and mindset again. He knows nothing but this—thinking it’ll be the only thing that will save him despite it being the very thing that lead to his downfall.

He had once dared to reach for the sun, chasing the intoxicating allure of absolute freedom, only to be scorched and permanently scarred with burns of the third degree by its searing radiance. He had longed for freedom, believing that it would bring him the peace and contentment he so desperately desired. However, as he stood at the precipice of his long-awaited liberation only for that short moment, he found himself confronting a profound sense of emptiness after its departure.

Not once had he thought it would be easy, but it turned out that the road to freedom was much more rocky and bumpier than he thought it would be.

Or maybe he's just too weak.

Nevertheless, he was merely a fool who fell before he could reach the light.

He's not going to let that happen again.

Nikolai's attention is caught when a bird lands on the balcony railing. He extends his arm and holds out his finger in fleeting anticipation, only for the bird to fly away, leaving him once again alone with his thoughts.

Hopefully, one day, a miracle of some sort would pull him out of this cycle so that he, too, could fly freely.

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