#however. i always think its important to try different things even if it means you fail bc thats how you learn

[sharksliveontrains]

this could be a hot take but i like that ferrari is going in their own direction still rather than copying redbull

[ellecdc]

Mother, i had a request but i forgot what it was 😭😭 i was sooo excited tooo 😫

But in trying to remember i had another brilliant idea!!

Reader x Reggie where theyre both stoic, slightly volatile 🐍 but theyre actually really soft and mushy. And then SURPRISE!! Theyre actually also dating Remus who takes care of them and is super protective. Maybe its revealed near the full moon and possessive Moony makes an appearance.

Siri is flabberghasted; Barty is horrified his darling sweethearts are be defiled; James is shook; and Lily is yhe ultimate bro and super proud of Rem.

Anyway, im sorry your computer was so mean to you. I hope you're looking after yourself 🩵🩵

......this is going to go down in history as my most controversial post........😈 may I present to you.....poly!MoonWater 😈😈😈😈😈

poly!moonwater x fem stoic!reader (i.e., Remus Lupin x Regulus Black x reader)

Sirius Black was admittedly currently going through a hard time.

Now, depending on who you asked, one (literally everyone and anyone) might say it was his own fault.

But if you asked Sirius Black? It was everyone else and their insufferable happiness that was to blame.

His insufferable best-friend-that-anyone-could-ever-ask-for finally landed the woman of his dreams and said woman of previously mentioned best friend was horribly in love with the sod.

Even his baby brother was happy! Which seemed like an oxymoron because in looking at Regulus Arcturus Black, one would assume that boy had never known a single moment of happiness in his life.

If one took into account their childhoods, they’d be right.

But Regulus Black, who was quiet in a way that made you feel like you were always being judged and ridiculed (you were) who very rarely had a kind thing to say about anyone had found happiness (read: a girl) who, for all intents and purposes, could be his personality doppelganger.

One difference, however, was that you were quiet in a way that always had one feeling like you knew too much, saw too much, and you were far too perceptive for anyone’s good. You always seemed to be analyzing the people around you and Sirius, sue him, found that incredibly disconcerting. 

He did not wish to be known, thank you very much. 

And even Moony! Moony, the bastard, was seeing someone! Fucked if Sirius knew who though because the sod wouldn't tell anyone who they were. He just kept popping back to the dorm room covered in hickies and looking far too pleased with himself whilst offering no details.

He was even spending entire nights away from the dorm, and always made sure he had the sodding map with him so they couldn’t even see where he was.

So yeah, Sirius was pissed.

And before you ask – no, it’s not because he was lonely – in fact, he had frequent visitors in his bed thank you very much.  And NO, he didn’t want to discuss the fact that perhaps if he didn’t run at the first sign of commitment or emotional intimacy, he too would have happiness. 

Perhaps he just wanted everyone else to be slightly less happy for his own sake.

Did no one ever think about Sirius Black?

Give right now for example. He and Regulus had been...hanging out (if that’s what you could call the two of them sitting together not speaking as they each did their own homework) since Sirius insisted it was important to do so, especially since Sirius no longer lived at home meaning that their usual means of brotherly bonding (read: trauma) no longer took place. 

And then James showed up (he was so lucky Sirius loved him) who was but of course accompanied by Lily Evans (she was so lucky she’s as lovely as she is) which turned into a small James Potter roast on account of Regulus and Lily both having years’ worth of material from hating him up until recently, and Sirius had loads of material on account of him being a certified hater. 

And then Moony showed up, and if Sirius didn’t know any better, he had definitely been fooling around mere moments ago.

But Sirius did know better.

“Moony, what broom closet did you just crawl out of and where’s the poor soul that was stuck in there with you?” He spat.

Remus merely chuckled and pulled a book out of his bag, making himself comfortable in one of the library’s grandfather chairs. “No one was stuck anywhere with me.”

“No, I’m sure they were a very willing participant.” Regulus drawled, looking particularly bored for all intents and purposes, never bothering to lift his gaze from his book.

“No need to be jealous, baby Black. You’re more than welcome to join me in such broom closets.” Remus joked with a wink.

“Oi!” Sirius swatted at Remus on behalf of his brother (he’s welcome). “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, and he’s taken thank you very much.”

“Merlin knows how,” James muttered none too quietly, “it’s not like he’s very approachable.”

Regulus lifted a lazy eyebrow as he looked at James from above the pages of his book. “I’ll have you know I’m very approachable to those I wish to be approached by.”

“Hi Reggie!” 

“Get fucked.” Regulus called back to Barty Crouch Junior, hardly sparing his best friend a glance as he approached him from behind. 

“Wow, Reggie’s in a good mood today, huh?” Barty said as he sat on one arm of Regulus’ chair, causing James to laugh until he realized that Barty wasn’t joking.

Suddenly another body showed up and gently sat on the other arm of Regulus’ chair.

Sirius watched as Regulus’ impassive face completely cleared of all contempt and he looked up at you with pure and unadulterated adoration.

It made Sirius sick. 

“Bonjour, mon cheri.” He murmured softly, in complete contrast to the harsh, militarized way he had previously been spitting at everyone else. 

You smiled gently at the boy as you pulled a notebook out of your book bag and produced a small, pressed flower, handing it to Regulus between your thumb and forefinger.

Regulus looked at it like you had just presented him with a hundred-year-old bottle of fire-whiskey.

“Did you pick this for me?” He asked gently, plucking the flower from your fingers with matching delicacy.

You offered him a quiet ‘mhm’ and Sirius noticed a shy smile grace your lips. Regulus’ eyes moved from the flower to your face, and he gazed at you like you had hung the moon.

“Merci, mon amour.” He said reverently and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

Lily looked at the two of you with a smile one might see on the face of a proud mother, James looked at the two of you like he was seeing a bowtruckle for the first time, and Remus looked oddly taken with the show of affection. Barty was apparently the only other sane one amongst them – oh gods, maybe Sirius really was losing it.

“Where the fuck has this Regulus been the last six years?” Barty muttered incredulously. 

Without much effort on your part, you reached over Regulus’ shoulder and shoved Barty off the arm of the chair and onto the floor before sliding to sit directly in Regulus’ lap.

“You...alright, Crouch?” James called tentatively from his place on the other side of the couple. 

“Oh, I’m fine. That’s just how she shows her love.” Barty said as he bounced back up, completely unperturbed. 

“Is it now?” Sirius asked, tone dripping with sarcasm. Remus swatted Sirius’ leg with his book.

“What?” Sirius squawked.

“Be nice.” He chided.

“I am nice! And why do you care?” Sirius argued, though he never got an answer. 

“I think they’re cute.” Lily announced, sending a sly smirk towards Remus.

“See? Lily gets it.” Remus said with a shrug as he went back to his book.

Sirius hated every single one of them.

But if Sirius thought that had been rough, he had no idea what was in store for him today. 

Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and... Lily had all been sitting at the Gryffindor table during dinner when Sirius noticed you rushing into the Great Hall looking rather frazzled.

“Whoa, what’s going on with Y/N?” Peter asked, apparently having noticed you at the same time as Sirius.

The conversation stopped abruptly as Remus’ head snapped towards the entrance, seemingly on high alert upon hearing of your arrival.

Sirius watched as you scanned the Hall before your eyes fell on their group. Your face crumpled in misery, and you rushed over. You were usually so polished and poised, any and all emotions locked away behind a well-fitted mask, no wonder you and Regulus got along so well.

Regulus...something must have happened to Regulus. Sirius had a dreadful feeling settle in the pit of his stomach; what could have happened to make you rush up to him looking that alarmed?

Except...you breezed right past him.

“What’s wrong, lovebug?” Remus cooed quietly, causing Sirius to choke on his own spit.

“He was hurt during practice.” You cried quietly, voice no more than a whisper as you moved to step between Remus’ spread legs where he had rotated on the bench to face you. His hands landed on the back of your thighs were his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your tight clad legs.

“Okay. How hurt?” Remus asked just as quietly, ignoring the sputtering happening from James, the chuckling from Lily, and the horrified expression painting Sirius’ face.

“Dislocated shoulder.” You cried miserably, as if you’d just been told Regulus was damned to spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state.

Remus’s mouth looked like it was fighting really hard to smile as his eyes pooled with equal parts fondness, worry (for you or Regulus, Sirius wasn’t sure at this moment), and no shortage of love.

What the fuck was going on right now!? 

“What the fuck is going on right now!?” Sirius demanded, his outside voice echoing the one inside of his head.

You startled a little at his exclamation, leaning closer into Remus who increased his embrace around you. 

“What’s happening dear padfoot, is it appears your brother has been injured during quidditch practice. Perhaps you ought to go see how he is?” Remus taunted as he continued running soothing hands over your body.

“Yeah, yeah; the sky is blue, and people get hurt in quidditch. Now what is this!?” He screeched gesturing wildly at the two of you. 

You looked equal parts embarrassed from the attention and equal parts wanting to tell Sirius off for downplaying what you clearly thought was some great upheaval in Regulus’ life when Lily spoke up.

“I’m surprised it took you this long to notice, Pads.”

His mouth dropped open as he turned to regard his best friend’s girlfriend with a look of pure betrayal.

“Et tu, Lily!?” Sirius cried as James sputtered, “you knew!?”

Remus just smiled as he shoved his nose into your collarbone. You brought up a hand to begin scratching at his scalp, and Sirius was certain the sods leg would be thumping in contentment if he were a dog.

“Let’s go, Sirius.” Remus finally muttered, interrupting an argument that was going nowhere between James, Lily, and Sirius. “You’ve got a brother in the hospital wing.”

You hurried on ahead of them, clearly not interested in the talk the two friends were about to have.

“So, are you fucking my brother too or just fucking him over by screwing his girl?” Sirius finally spat with his arms crossed petulantly over his chest. 

Remus groaned and looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for strength to get through this conversation with Sirius Drama Queen Black. “Sirius, can you ask me a question that’s less likely to get me punched in the face?”

“No.” Sirius muttered. 

“He’s happy, Sirius. I promise.” Remus pressed. “He...he really deserves all the love he’s getting.”

And Sirius would have been an absolute arse if he’d had anything to say in response to that...

Don’t get him wrong, Sirius was an arse and did have many things to say in response to that, but the words died on the tip of his tongue when they walked into the hospital wing to see you sitting on the end of Regulus’ hospital bed.

Regulus, save the sling holding his arm to his chest and the fact that he was sitting in a hospital bed, looked as casual as Sirius ever remembered seeing him, smiling at you with...

Love.

A lot of love. 

“I’m fine, amour, I promise.” They heard him plead with you as they approached.

“Still have all your limbs, I see.” Remus commented as he walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Regulus’ hair, causing the youngest Black to blush something fierce as he looked over at Sirius. 

“I’m sure she told you I was comatose.” He commented quietly, turning and offering you a wink.

“Don’t tease me...” You moaned, looking very much like you still wanted to fold Regulus up and put him in your pocket for safe keeping.

“Yeah, don’t tease her, love. You’d be sitting in this hospital bed all on your lonesome with no one you dote on you otherwise.” Remus jokingly chided. 

“Love.” Sirius groaned with a dramatized gag. 

“Oh, grow up, Siri.” Regulus barked.

Sirius’ head snapped over to his brother at the sound of his childhood nickname. Regulus’ cheeks were still dusted pink, whether it be at the unplanned outing of his relationship, being hurt, or the gravity of this moment.

Regulus hadn’t called him that since they were children...like, real children before the trauma, the alienation, the disinheritance, the running away...

Perhaps because Regulus had spent all of that time living in unmeasurable pain. Just like Sirius had.

And maybe, now...Regulus had people who made him feel brave enough to be vulnerable like this, to reconnect in ways he long thought impossible. 

Fuck Moony and his good naturedness; Sirius hated that Remus was right about this. 

“Oh, fucking Godric.” Sirius muttered petulantly as he pulled Regulus into a bone crushing hug.

Literally.

“Sirius!” Regulus groaned before Sirius was ripped away from his brother. Sirius expected Remus to be the one throwing him to the floor for inadvertently hurting Regulus’ injury...but it was you. 

“You idiot.” You hissed as new tears formed in your eyes, immediately moving to grab the ice pack from the bedside table and gently placing it on Regulus’ shoulder.

Remus and Regulus looked at you with so much adoration, Sirius was certain hearts were going to start pouring out of their eyes and floating around their heads.

“I’m fine, thanks!” He called out as he hauled himself up off the floor. 

“Oh good.” You said sarcastically.

“I don’t like this.” Sirius grumbled, causing all three faces to turn to him.

“Pads...”

“Sirius, please.” Regulus implored.  

“What if you break his heart?” He asked no one in particular. “What if you hurt my baby brother? Who am I supposed to support then? Or you; what am I supposed to do if you hurt my best friend? And what if you tossers hurt Y/N!”

The three of you shared a look before his brother turned to him. “Sirius, if we breakup, I give you permission to side with Remus.”

“And if we break up, I promise you can side with Y/N.” Remus added.

“Nope.” You said quickly, “that’s fine, I don’t need to be included in this.”

Sirius groaned out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank gods. Okay, okay. I guess I'll allow it then....”

“THE THREE OF YOU ARE WHAT!?” Barty screeched as he stood at the door of the infirmary, still in his quidditch kit.

“Do we actually have to have this conversation again?” You groaned quietly.

Remus shot Regulus and extremely guilty look as he slowly stood.

“Remus.” Regulus warned.

Remus grimaced and slowly made his way over to you.

“Remus John Lupin, I swear to Salazar...”

“Regulus, I love you; I do. But...he’s you’re friend an- NOW DOVE” He shouted, and the two of you took off in a sprint out of the infirmary. 

“Quite the catch you’ve got yourself there Regs.” Sirius taunted. 

“Sod off.” Regulus muttered as Barty made his way over to his bedside.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Sirius jeered as he, too, took off out of the infirmary, leaving Regulus Black to deal with the likes of Barty Crouch Junior on his own.  

don't hate me

[honeytonedhottie]

how to isolate and grow⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

quick disclaimer : when i say "isolate" i dont mean the negative connotation of self isolation where you push everyone away, i mean the laying back and rly focusing and tapping into urself BY yourself.

accessibility : limit people's accessibility to you, or narrow down how many people you allow to access you. ur energy is SACRED ur time is a privilege. its important that ur no longer looking for outlets in people.

during this time of stepping back and being super picky with how and who u spend ur time with its the perfect opportunity to separate urself from the toxicity that some people in ur life might bring. in that same breath, its easier said for friends then it is for family members because when u think isolation ur probably thinking of being a home-body which is a part of it. but if ur home is whats making u sick then try and spend time AWAY of the home to do whatever u need to do.

self awareness and responsibility : take a moment and be truly objective with urself. practice having the difficult conversations with urself. u know ur goals, but are u the person that can have those goals? and if not, how can u get to become that person.

this is also the time to address things that you've been sweeping under the rug. address anything thats starting to become a problem and address bigger problems in ur life. we wanna be able to take responsibility for ourselves and PROBLEM SOLVE. be super clear on what u wanna focus on during ur self isolation period and WHY you are choosing to do this.

find a mentor : find someone who resonates with you, whether it be online or in person, who is living the life that YOU wanna live or living a life similar to one that u wanna live. u dont have to have just one mentor, it can be multiple mentors for different aspects of ur life that u wanna improve. ur mentors dont even need to know you honestly, just someone u look up to

detox ur brain : mental diet. mindset is EVERYTHING as you know if you've been consuming my content lately. everything and i mean EVERYTHING begins in the brain. the thoughts that u think today will be what u experience tomorrow. speak to urself nicely, throw away old thoughts that dont align with ur dreams and replace them with positive ones thru repetition, fixed attention and practice

do brain dumps before u go to bed, its good to get out all of the thoughts in ur head before u go to sleep, out of ur brain and onto a piece of paper or something else in general. it doesn't have to be in a negative connotation either, write down ideas that pass thru ur head, goals, inspirations etc.

clean out : anything that u tend to cling to, whether its devices, drugs, drinking etc. practice fasting from it. it doesn't have to be extreme, just taking a break from it REGULARLY will improve it so much. an analogy i like to use for gradual change like this is with a rubber band. if u stretch the rubber band as far as it can go too quickly then it'll break, however if u gradually stretch the rubber band little by little, you can stretch it super far and it won't break.

experimentation : while ur self isolating this is the perfect opportunity to experiment with ur physical. dye ur hair a color that you've always been wanting it to. grow ur hair a couple inches, take extra good care of ur skin, experiment with different clothing styles. become ur own MUSE.

with that being said i wish everyone luck and blessings as you isolate and grow 🫶🏽

[undiscovered-horizon]

Return to sender - Kaz Brekker x Reader

[graphic descriptions of violence/injury]

SUMMARY: Someone from your past keeps sending you unambiguously romantic letters. While you think of them as nothing beyond an inconvenience, Kaz has a different opinion.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.9k

A/N: I'm going through the first editorial correction for my novel and as it turns out, I can't speak my own mother tongue lmao

Kaz has an eye for details. Whether it’s a pattern or an overlooked design, he always notices. That set of skills, either he learned them or was born with them, made it painfully obvious to him that your foul mood coincided with correspondence he never saw you actually read. The letter usually ends up in the nearest fireplace, its secrets never uncovered and you maunder around the club looking for a fight or a strong drink. A much bigger problem, however, was the fact that if you were in a sour mood, Kaz would become exceptionally chippy without an apparent cause. ‘Care for my investment’ he calls it, which makes a rather amusing euphemism.

In any event, he knows that the letter should arrive today. Exactly seven weeks had passed since the last time some mysterious correspondence pissed you off and the sender, as far as Kaz has noticed, is like clockwork. Strangely enough, he can’t recall a day when the letter should arrive that you’d come to the club already annoyed as though he has become privy to a rather obvious pattern that you remain oblivious to. If so, he has even more advantage - he can solve this inconvenience behind your back, in case you’d try to dismiss him. He wouldn’t listen anyway, of course. Not when it comes to you.

Knowing very well that you have a habit of arriving shortly after Inej, he’s quick to find the thief before you even get a chance of catching wind of his scheme. She’s fixing her clothes when she spots him hastily limping towards her with his face turned nearly into a snarl. A hand brushes through his hair. He’s agitated. But Inej knows better than to make the first move against the unmovable mountain. Kaz sought her out, after all, and if he means business, he won’t waste time.

And he does just as she thought. Speaking in a low tone, Kaz makes her part of his conspiracy: “Inej, I need you to do something but no one else can know. Someone will deliver a letter today. Follow them and find out as much as you can,” his voice is stern, not accepting refusal. The matter appears urgent, of utter importance.

Her keen gaze studies his face for a moment, looking for any way even the slightest tick of muscles could reveal a further piece of the mystery she isn’t yet privy to. “Is this about the new job we’re doing?” She elegantly manoeuvres around the subject.

Kaz knows what she’s trying to do. He clenches his jaw and gives her a blank, although somewhat impatient, look before slowly answering: “It’s rather loosely related.”

This is enough to put her curiosity on hold - for now, at least. The unmovable mountain remains, well, unmovable. Inej nods. “I’m on it.”

The moment she ends her sentence, the door to the club opens with a creek echoing through the otherwise empty venue, immediately earning the undivided attention of Kaz and Inej. The sound of heels against the wooden floor is unmistakable as is the fitting, rather short, coat. Inej smiles, stifling laughter as she notices Kaz immediately straightening his back when he sees you.

There’s a certain spring to your step, one that Kaz has learned to associate with complacency. Although this joyous aura is making his mind turn into quicksand swallowing anything coherent, he’s got enough grip on his thoughts to render his theory proved - you really do not have any idea that the letters come regularly. 

With a triumphant grin, you wave a scroll in his face. “I had a hunch and did some browsing at the city archives. You’re going to love it.”

Inej is gone and the only thing Kaz can do at the moment is wait along with trying his best not to think about this mail fiasco. But considering you’ll spend the entire day a mere inch or two away from him, he’s hardly going to do much thinking anyway. 

“Let’s see it then,” Kaz interposes before turning around and walking back to his office. 

Making his way to Brekker’s office, Jesper examined the expensive stationery from every side and angle. No matter the perspective, the cursive letters on the front still spell out your name. Truthfully, he does that every time you receive mail, mainly because of how little you talk about the possible sender. There’s always a huff, an eye-roll and the envelope ends up turned into ashes, without any further explanation. You become short-tempered for the rest of the day and go ballistic on anyone trying to inquire about the mysterious correspondence. As much entertainment as it usually brings Jesper, he’s smart enough to know when to stop poking the bear.

Jesper knocks on the door but opens them right after - announcing his arrival rather than asking for permission to enter. 

“...smuggling through the sewers.” He hears you finishing your sentence.

Both you and Kaz simultaneously tear away your gaze from the maps scattered on the table and bore your eyes into Jesper with anticipation. He lifts the letter, wriggling his wrist slightly, and immediately your expression falls. You clench your fist. A contemptuous grimace creeps onto your face.

“Letter for you,” he announces.

“By the Saints, not this again,” you whisper and roll your eyes.

“What do you mean again?” Jesper asks casually, half expecting you to break his hand and half hoping for an answer. Today, as it turns out, is his lucky day.

“A friend once convinced me to go to some socialite high tea with her. I met someone there, we wrote to each other a few times and then he started to be obnoxious, the whole ‘woe is me’ lark.” The memory must still be vivid to you as you let out an annoyed sigh. “He claimed he can’t live without me while never spelling my name correctly. But since I value myself a little too much to waste my time on pity parties, I simply stopped replying. The last letter I sent him, I don’t know, three years ago? And he just keeps coming back.” You clench your jaw, clearly stopping yourself from a string of profanities considered obscene even in this company.

Jesper puts on a playful grin. “You know, you never struck me as someone who’d have a secret admirer.”

Your irritated gaze makes him equally amused and nervous. “He’s not exactly secret, is he? More of a returning cockroach infestation. Worry not, boys, I’ll just burn this one like the rest and we can all forget about this little perplexity.”

“Come on, you’re not even a little bit curious about what’s inside?” Jesper coaxes as he hands you the letter.

“Believe me when I tell you that I don’t give a rat’s bald ass about this man and his pathetic wax poetic.” You snatch the envelope, all the while looking at your friend with squinted, piercing eyes. Considering who you are, a complete lack of curiosity whatsoever might as well be a symptom of a lethal disease.

In that short moment, when the stationery goes from Jesper’s hand into yours, Kaz watches the letter as closely as he can. Smooth paper, probably expensive. Careful lettering, written with patience and thoughtfulness. An aroma of mint and tobacco lingers on the parchment. The stamp has the current date on it and the postal code is only a few numbers away from the club’s - whoever sent it is in Ketterdam and quite close by.

Kaz makes those little observations just in time because you throw the letter into the fireplace behind him, without even glancing at the paper. The flames grow for a few seconds, devouring the dry stationery. Soon, there’s no evidence that any mail has been delivered to you on this day.

“Now, where were we?” You clap your hands. “Ah, sewers.” Jesper takes the change of subject as his cue to leave but you stop him right when he pushes down the door handle. “Oh, and Jesper? If you tell Inej, I’m ripping your arm off and beating you to death with it.”

He looks at you over his shoulder, a newfound sense of anxiety turning his vivid amusement into somewhat tame courtesy, leaving his smile unfaltering but tearing away the genuine joy behind it. “I will keep this enlightening piece of advice in mind, thank you.”

The door clicks as Jesper closes it behind himself. Returning to your previous engagement, you stumble upon Brekker’s stern gaze of disapproval. 

“Do not maim my investments.” Although it’s supposed to be a scolding or a threat, it comes out with a certain note of disinterest.

“Don’t try playing all nice, Kaz. You and I both know you’d watch for like ten minutes before stepping in.”

His gloved finger taps the map. “Sewers.” 

You mumble something along the lines of ‘yes, sir’ and pick up the single-handed divider again. Kaz examines your face out of the corner of his eye. Judging by your casual demeanour, the palm’s length between your heads is of no bother to you. Maybe you’re just too busy counting the segments with the divider. When you’re done, you reach for the other side of the desk, for a moment leaving broody Kaz to the, surprisingly cold, lukewarm air filling the room.

This day just can’t seem to end for Burr Lowther. First, he had to take his regular trip into the filth of the Barrel, he shudders at the memory, only to then spend another ten hours at the sewing workshop. Being a foreman pays exceptionally well and perhaps this is the only reason he’s still putting up with those lazy needlewomen. 

Putting his well-kept coat on the hanger by the front door, Burr lets out a sigh of relief - compared to the factory, his house is a quiet oasis. He remembers to take out a pouch and a box of expensive cigars from his coat. Without much thinking, he opens the small bag and puts another leaf of mint between his teeth. What started first as an addition to his personal hygiene, has quickly become a habit impossible to kill. Now used to the strong, chilly sensation on his tongue, he’s grown to like it. 

The house is drowning in darkness. Dim, yellow light from the streetlamps crawling in through the windows is barely enough to let him make his way around the furniture. Foreman Lowther is yet to start the fire in his living room but he needs to be quick - if he stalls too long his joints will begin to hurt. Even with laudanum, the ache is bound to keep him up for hours and that’s something he can’t afford. But first, he needs some light to be able to get the necessary things.

Chewing on the herb, Burr walks to the table across the room from the fireplace. He puts the new box of cigars down and begins looking for something to light the oil lamp. Once he blindly finds a box of matches, his muscle memory does most of the job - he’s lit up the lamp far too many times to think about the actions. In swift, mechanical motions, Burr takes off the chimney, lights the wick and puts the glass part back on. The fire brightens the rest of the table, reminding the foreman that he forgot to put away the made-to-order McKinnon & Co. stationery. He pushes the paper farther away from the lamp, just in case.

Burr’s knees make a cracking noise when he crouches in front of the fireplace. Carefully, he lights a match and puts it between logs and old newspapers. The fire smoulders for a moment, balancing between starting and being put out, before a bigger flame begins gnawing at the dry wood and paper. 

Foreman Lowther is about to stand up when something hits the side of his head, making his face clash with the seat of a nearby armchair. Scurrying and turning around, he sees an outline of a man, looking more like a feverish mare of the night than a real human. He’s thin and tall, dressed rather elegantly. The model crow on his cane glistens in the newly started fire.

“Who are you?” Burr’s voice cracks, giving away his panic.

“A scorned businessman, Burr Lowther,” Kaz explains slowly.

The foreman climbs backwards into the armchair. It’s difficult to look imposing while sitting beside a fireplace but his fear is far too severe to let the man stand on his own two feet.

“I’ve no business with you!” he yells. A few droplets of spit fly out of his mouth. “Get out!” Burr’s shaky hand points vaguely in the direction of the front door but Kaz, as it seems, is not going anywhere just yet.

In slow steps, Kaz gets closer to Burr, the difference in height painting him even more menacing. Lowther’s hand falls limp on a small table meant for trays with food.

“Perhaps you don’t. But I have plenty with you.”

Before foreman Lowther can ask another question, Brekker drives a sharp blade through the man’s palm, pinning it to the wooden counter. A howl of pain cuts through the night, scaring away the birds sitting outside the windows. Thick, crimson blood spills from the wound, falling to the floor in long drops. The fireplace’s flame glistens in the growing puddle, the reflection dances in morbid anticipation.

Kaz walks over to the table with the oil lamp. The first thing that catches his eye is the ivory paper. Somehow, he stifles the visceral reaction it elicits from him. Grabbing the wad of stationery, he folds it a few times and puts it in the inner pocket of his coat. Then his gaze trails towards the wooden box of cigars. The name of the company, Starling, is burned in cursive lettering on the front. In a swift movement, Kaz slides the package open, knowing exactly what he’s going to find inside - a cigar cutter. For people who can afford Starling tobacco products, it definitely doesn’t befit to chew off the end.

Firelight cascades off the metal cutter when Kaz turns back towards Burr. The man’s eyes widen in panic, recognizing the sharp device put against him.

“No, sir,” Burr begs with a frantic shake of his head. “Oh, Saints, please, no! Don’t! I’m begging you, sir! Please, please! No, please!”

Brekker’s face doesn’t change its indifferent expression. The pleading is not putting him off, never faltering his already-made decision. Perhaps, if it isn’t too morbid to consider, he’s enjoying having someone at his mercy. The cigar cutter clicks quietly as Kaz closes it a few times to check the state of the mechanism.

Kaz makes his way back to the foreman. Casually, he puts his cane against the table but away from the nailed palm, careful not to get it dirty. Then, he snatches Burr’s other hand, the swiftness diminishing all doubts that he’s inexperienced in bringing suffering.

“You have laid your hands on something that isn’t yours, Lowther,” Brekker explains as he forces one of the man’s fingers through the cutter’s opening. “Now you must pay for it.”

A muscle in his face ticks as he presses the cigar cutter. Burr howls in agony, tears streaming down his face. The finger falls to the floor with a wet slap as blood begins to pour. The white tip of the bone sticks out from the pulsating flesh, glistening in the warm, dim light of the burning fireplace.

In a feverish delirium, Lowther mumbles something under his nose, the string of incomprehensible words sometimes interrupted by sobs. Kaz can understand only two things from the ramblings of a madman: ‘wench’ and ‘reply’. Scarce information but he hardly needs more.

“Wench?” he repeats in a low voice.

With a snap of his wrist, Kaz twists the knife still residing in the man’s hand. A bone cracks. But there’s no scream this time - not an ounce of strength left in the victim. Lonely tears stream down his grey face, mixing with cold sweat as he blankly stares ahead. A gloved hand yanks his head back by the hair, forcing delirious Burr to look into Brekker’s eyes. They look darker than they should, clouded with something far too horrible to be considered human.

“Not only did you lay your filthy hands on something of mine,” Kaz’s voice is low enough to resemble a growl as though something carnal inside him has finally woken from its slumber, “but you also dare insult her.”

Burr makes a strange guttural noise, something between a gag reflex and a murmur, as another one of his fingers is cut off. Considering his vacant expression, it’s hard to say whether his consciousness even registered the loss.

Kaz tosses away the cigar cutter. It clutters and clicks falling in the largely unknown corner of the room. Reaching inside his coat, he pulls out the folded stationery. Pressing tightly on Burr’s cheeks, he forces the man’s mouth open.

“I don’t think you will be needing this anymore.”

Even if foreman Lowther was in his right mind at the moment, there wouldn’t be much he could do to prevent Kaz from shoving the dry paper down his throat. A match, a spark, a smoulder - the ivory stationery is burning inside Burr’s mouth.

Leaving Burr Lowther to his own devices, Kaz Brekker leaves the house, joining the otherwise grey and indifferent citizens of Ketterdam. The sunrise is just a few hours away. He’s making his way back to the club, uninterrupted and unbothered, to enjoy another day of your hardly divided attention.

[mecachrome]

landoscar ao3 stats — 2023 overview

notes

retrieved ~sometime in march 2024

methodology: scraped metadata for every fic in the landoscar tag and...... that's it. however one important constraint is that all temporal data is date updated (not posted), so the above timeline isn't exactly a true representation of fic growth but rather how many fics were last-updated at that time. of course this is still its own reflection of fandom health in a way since dead fandoms don't update old fic but well... it's just not quite the same!

this is just info about general trends, fic content, tags etc... so nothing about kudos/comments or any authors specifically

i decided to focus solely on fics last-updated in 2023 (unless otherwise mentioned) because i wanted a tidy set that i can maybe compare & contrast in a year's time, because i expect a lot of details to look different then (tho as stated above this set isn't exactly static... 🤷��♀️)

ngl i had to re-scrape a bunch of times because i forgot about it for like 3 weeks and then there were 100 new fics 😭 so if there are some minor discrepancies across the post it's because of that halfskh.

also i wanted to include more global comparisons (aka how 814 stack up against the f1 rpf tag in general), but this is also considerably difficult in some contexts since i can't exactly scrape 31,000+ fics can i... or i didn't even want to entertain the thought of trying to do so!!!

why did i do this? who knows.

anyway here's some viz T__T

ship growth

as evidenced in the opening graph, landoscar have been a very fast-growing ship over the past year — although interestingly enough they didn't really start growing substantially until july / the ~better half~ of the 2023 season. here are two views showing their "growth" (by date updated) alongside two other ships on the fringes of the f1 rpf top 10 (sebchal & galex):

landoscar are very much on-track to surpass them and officially enter the top 10 soon, likely before mid-april ❗️ :o

ship characteristics

onto the ship content — another thing i was mildly curious about was how landoscar differs in certain areas from other f1 ships, or the f1 rpf "global" average you could say. for example, here's a breakdown of rating popularity in their ao3 tag:

seeing as explicit is their most common rating, and that i don't necessarily expect this to be true for all ships/fandoms, i compared these percentages with the general f1 rpf tag to see whether some ratings are more commonly represented in 814 fic than average, which produced interesting results:

do lando ships simply skew more HornyTM in general? is it oscar? a secret third thing??? who knows... actually i think it would be fun to do more analysis in this direction but that can wait for another time!!!

similarly i also wanted to see which ships are the most "public" on ao3, as in have the highest share of fic that isn't user-locked... i will refrain from peppering in my feelings about the 4th wall too heavy-handedly but i was curious to see whether some sort of perhaps... er, generational gap (?) of sorts between ships that are more public vs. not could be identified. however i don't pretend to have any takeaways from this LOL i conclude absolutely nothing. (for ref landoscar is currently 72% public, vs. a global avg of 63%)

note that this graph is current stats, not filtered for 2023

looking at relationship tags, i also wanted to know whether landoscar suffer noticeably from Second-Ship Syndrome, so i tallied the first-tagged ship of every fic to find out. i know this doesn't necessarily mean that it's always the "main" ship but it's a good enough approximation. the results were quite positive!

filtered to top ships with count of >1 only

i then also calculated the number of ships tagged for each fic to discern the profile of multi-shipping in 814 ficdom; i did have to do a little bit of string standardization (all instances of implied / background / hinted collapsed to hinted for simplicity's sake + removal of other redundancies), but otherwise i left everything mostly untouched.

as you can see, landoscar also have a fairly promising amount of OTP: TRUE fic:

by the time you get to the fics with 10+ ships tagged, landoscar are less likely to be the primary ship, which makes sense just on a basic statistical level... this is also a very small sample size though

i also lazily tallied the 10 most common ships that weren't NOR/PIA or NOR & PIA to diff their shares of the 814 tag vs. of the general f1 rpf tag, to see which other pairings are more represented in the 814 tag than on average (because lestappen are the most popular by pure count but this is also true of fandom in general, so it would be a misrepresentation to say that their popularity is out of the ordinary):

maxiel's gap isn't really that surprising since i think that, generationally, in terms of when both pairings were teammates there is quite a gap; with carlando—actually let me tally this again but including all instances of "implied" and "past" as being part of the same ship, since that's how ao3 tag-wrangles as well:

Aha ! obviously as a direct ship there is competition between 814 and other lando or oscar ships, but this difference is somewhat less pronounced once we include all formats. tbh none of this really means anything but i thought i'd add it anyway... (it's also very possible that there are several errors in this, in which case my b 😔)

before we move on to additional tags, there are a few more basic characteristics of 814 fic we can calculate. i realize i never offered an overview of Super Basic Stats, so here are a few:

plus, looking at word counts, here is a distribution of those in 2023-updated fic, which shows that a majority of 814 fics were under the 5k mark:

85% of landoscar fics were under 10k & nearly 97% under 25k

i don't really have any reason to believe that landoscar's wc stats differ significantly from average ? so this is kind of just Data To Have Data, and it most likely reflects normal ao3 trends in general... but i thought i'd include it anyway because i already made it lol. similarly, here are word count distributions but stratified by rating:

& same info but heat map view:

i feel like this is also probably something you'd find across fandom in general — that gen fic is likely to have a higher share of under 1k works, since Building Up to sexual content often takes... Literal & Metaphorical Foreplay ! and the longer a fic is the more opportunities an author has to include a sex scene or other explicit content (ofc, not necessarily just porn but also graphic violence & so on). but i thought this was fun to visualize haha

additional tags & aus?

back in my old f1 rpf stats post, i made a table comparing fluff/angst "ratios" (not exactly a direct ratio because of how tag wrangling works, but an approximation) of the most popular f1 ships, and now that landoscar are somewhat popular i thought i'd first do an update:

also current data, not 2023 to make things easier

just like before, simi are one of the most fluffy ships and brocedes are by far the most angsty, but it's interesting to see 814 also extremely high up on the charts, with far and away the lowest % of angst. will be exciting 2 see how that holds or changes as the seasons progress !

finally, i also wanted to do a bit of au/additional tag analysis because you can kind of see this when you use additional filters on ao3 but the previews are limited and get bogged down by the prevalence of *checks notes* Fluff, Angst, PWP, Anal Sex and what have you. which are nice stats to have and all but what of the rest !

disclaimer that the set for these tables is a biiiit outdated because by the time i'd wrangled everything i was like I Am Not Changing It Again. unfortunately i clean my data with shoddy queries and regex functions in googsheetz...

there were 48 tags with at least 10 instances from 2023 fics, shown below, with ones that are (some ~vaguely) nsfw in red just to kind of get a rough sense of which tags get commonly used in M/E fic:

getting a bit too much into small sample size / specific fic territory so if you're an author i sincerely apologize for that... do not mean 2 put u on blast... TT__TT but i also tried to tally the most popular aus people write for 814, which is a bit dubious because people tag in really different ways and i had to accommodate for a lot of string formats but ... it's close enough ! (?)

i feel like this is very little interesting info but idk what else to add so i will stop here for now... well!!! if you made it to the end i hope u learned something or even vaguely enjoyed reading T__T and most of all thank you :')

[plutonianeris]

❝mars in the 6th house❞

This is how mars in the 6th house has manifested for me.

With my 6th house mars placement I tend to make my daily activities into games or challenges. In my head I’m always like okay let’s see how long it takes me to do xyz. It makes me feel accomplished to get stuff down.

The downside to all of that is the stress I put on my body. Sometimes I don’t know when to stop and I keep pushing through until I feel burned out. Over the years I have gotten better and reminding myself to slow down and be more mindful throughout out the day.

I have always had very high paced busy jobs. The couple times where I had a more low stakes, relaxed job I would start off thinking I was going to enjoy it and then I would hate it. It would just make the day drag on so long. I like feeling challenged and when I am busy the day goes by faster. When I was around 15 I got my first job at a restaurant and it would get extremely busy and chaotic as fuck and honestly I loved it. The dining room would get so full, people were chattering all the time and we would all be in the back running around like chickens with their heads cut off, bumping into each other. Some of my coworkers would get frustrated which is fair but honestly it felt like a game to me. I worked there until I was 19. I have a higher paying, more “professional” job now but to this day that was the most fun job I’ve had.

I have worked at many different places, but the posts that state mars in the 6th house will give you coworkers being jealous and trying to start shit are 100% right. In every job I have had there were coworkers that saw me as threat or would try to start shit with me. I once worked at a hospital when I was in college and the girls working with me (Who were 2-3 years actually older than me) were so hateful and weird. They would constantly be looking at me, gossiping (or straight up trying to argue) and one time one of them lied to the supervisor saying I was slacking off when I wasn’t (literally trying to sabotage my job).

A male coworker there at the time told me they were just hating. I do believe that they were because they were being weird and messy but I also think he was trying to flirt with me..

The rumors are true about your coworkers crushing on you with this placement. And vice versa for me as well at times. It has gone from flirting with coworkers to me actually sleeping with a coworker once. However those times it was never anything serious, more like in the moment things. 6th house placements really know what it means to have a work husband/ wife lol.

another thing about jobs, when people try to start shit it use to get me riled up and I would let people get under my skin (when I was younger). NOW, I laugh and even though it still makes me annoyed, it makes me feel even more motivated to be the best at what I am doing.

I am also quick to leave a job once it has run its course. I am not that emotional when it comes to leaving and starting over somewhere else.

I lose weight very fast. I don’t mean in the sense that I have high metabolism. I mean that if gain weight and I decide I want to lose it, I do simple workouts and in a relatively short time its gone. Its not an unhealthy or harmful way. It makes sense considering mars is action and speed and the 6th house is daily routines and my body and health. Honestly if you have this placement and you are stressing over meal plans or planning specific workouts, just do simple ones and walk more and it wont be as hard as you thought.

I do have a high libido, especially when I am in a relationship. Having a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship is important to me.

I don’t get sick very often and when I do, I fight it off in 1-3 days.

I can be very impulsive in my daily and routines, sometimes harshly. Like I might brush my hair very roughly without realizing or apply lotion onto my skin in a heedless manner. That is something that I did not like and I try to remind myself to treat my body with gentle hands.

My impulsive behavior was worse when I was kid. For example, if I could not get a necklace off of me or bracelet, it would make me so angry and kind of panicked, I would rip it off even if it meant it might break I didn’t care. Me doing what I wanted and feeling free mattered more than whatever I was wearing. This was however another thing I tried to improve on.

Growing up, in my daily routines people use to be mad aggressive towards me as well. Don’t get me wrong, I knew when I was annoying or pushing someones buttons, but the random spurts of anger at me would be very unwarranted.

I feel like at times I can be very guarded as well or tense. When I am angry, I feel it first in my chest and then my stomach will hurt. I don’t like getting worked up because although I can emotionally regulate, it still takes my body a while to calm down. When I was a teenager it would take a long ass time of me practically seething or cursing. Now after a couple deep breaths I’m good.

Mars is aggressive and the 6th house is my health and body and I have definitely taken my anger out on myself as well. My home life had always been very chaotic as a kid and I started self harming at 12 years old and then I stopped when I was around 17 years old.

On a more positive note, I love taking care of my body now. I would never treat it like my enemy or be so careless with myself like I use to. I like working out. I like feeling strong. And also theres a bonus of feeling hot as fuck when I am naked. When Megan thee stallion said, “ When I'm in the gym I think about bitches that I'm shitting on,” I really felt that 💋🔥

[chronicler-of-narrative]

So, On-Lyne, huh?

Let's be honest here, they're actually an incredibly cool system. If there's one thing I like about DE is how they spice up stale systems. Like how Poe and Fortuna paved the way for Deimos and Duviri, the technocyte Coda seem to be doing the same for the lich system (especially considering how they dont seem to have any weapons).

While lightly disappointing because they have set identities unlike the very oc-friendly randomness of liches and sisters, its still basically the most hype part of the 1999 update for me.

However, praise aside, I also wanted to do some light speculatuon on their story and personalities, and specifically, why I think they weren't always infested.

Now, look, ik they look weird conceptually, being likened to fortnite skins by some, but I think that is mostly just foreshadowing. To me, they look like digital avatars, which considering their name is quite literally On-Lyne and all of the internet imagery in the 1999 promotional videos and ads seems to support this. Now, this is actually really important because if they are digital avatars of real people (as I suspect), then that sets up the main theme of their story: Appearances.

This is why I think they're not some infested psyop but rather started out normally, before being overtaken. Because at the end of the day, Warframe's stories are deep in the most batshit way possible. DE aren't afraid to use the mighty Allegory for their stories, and I think this is what they're doing here. The infestation is On-Lyne's Monkey Paw, being either a wish-come-true or a punishment, or both.

This, imo, is most evident with Zeke. After all, we literally hear him talking about how "if management gives him one more passive aggressive comment, he's gonna snap", which to me tells me that Zeke probably isn't able to endure the price of being famous. This, combined with a transcription of the infested writing on their fanpage I received from a friend, tells us what the Infestation has done for Zeke. "Zeke hungers to unmake himself" and calling him "Fleshskin" to me sound like Zeke seeking to become acceptable to the band at the cost of himself. As in, to literally martyr himself, to become the band's skin and remove the part of himseld that can't stand the pressure, becoming in the proccess an empty shell, a skin-suit, if you will.

For the others, we know a little less, so imma just summarize my theories on them :

-Hardrive's the one who spreads the infestation, the infection mechanism. But by the...unflattering language the hivemind uses to describe him unlike the others, what i get is hes trying to escape the infestation, escape the life of fame, but in doing so is only falling deeper into the very thing he's trying to get away from.

-Packet's the tactician of the group. Different from Drillbit in the fact that hes directly responsible for unity within the group. I mean, "Soothes the dissident voices" doesnt get more explicit than that. Its weird how hes the most "fresh". To me it sounds like he may have had a hand in unleashing the infestation on the group in some attempt to keep them from having a falling out, and is now in charge of keeping the whole hivemind together after being the last one to be consumed.

-Drillbit is the guide of the group. Especially with the brain and larynx lines, sounds to me like he was the second-in-command to Zeke who always wanted to be the face of the band but couldn't with Zeke in the way.

-Dj RoM is a little hard to figure out, but to me he sounds like the group hedonist. He doesn't question whats going on, hes just there to have a good time and might even be the most accepting of the infestation. Especially considering how it directly mentions how his 'palpatations reverberate' while the band is 'digesting' which may imply hes actually enjoying it.

So yea, these basically it. If im wrong, feel more than free to share your ideas. After all, this is just speculation, but to me it seems very fitting from a narrative perspective.

[melanieph321]

Kenan Yilidiz x Reader - Thick Part 5/8

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Kenan and Reader share the same high school friend group. As graduation is near, Reader sets out to pass her drivers license test but ultimately struggles to. Thankfully Readers friends agree to help her with driving lessons and take turns doing so. It is during one of Rader's lessons that it becomes clear that Kenan likes her. A chock to Reader, who has a crush on someone else in their friend group.

Enjoy!

"So, what's going on with you and Kenan?" Maria asked, on your weekly drive to school.

"Pardon?"

"Oh please, Y/N. Don't lie. We all know that the two of you are hooking up."

Your driving has improved. After two months of consistent driving lessons with your friends, you were finally getting a hang of the rhythm of traffic. Although, you had to admit that your progress all came down to one driver.

"What do you mean, who told you that?" You said, in a desperate attempt to maintain your honor.

"It's pretty obvious." Maria chuckled. "The two of you are always flirting across the table during lunch hour and the fact that Kenan drives you home everyday kind of gives it away, don't you think?"

"Okay, but what about you and Gio?" You blurred out, as immense heat burned your cheeks.

"What about us?" Maria laughed.

"Well, aren't you two hooking up?" 

"Yes, but the difference is that the two of us aren't trying to hide it from the world. Why would you? Kenan is a great guy and seems to like you a lot."

"I know." You sighed as if it were a bad thing. "It's just that I don't think we'd make a good couple. I need someone more intuned with life, someone intellectual and cool. Someone who thinks with his brain and not with his dick. Someone like...."

"Luca?"

You turned to Maria as the car pulled up to a stop sign. "How did you know?"

She grinned. "Again, you make it quite obvious."

"Oh. I guess I have to work on that."

"Yeah. Besides, isn't Luca dating that redhead from the record store downtown?"

"They're just hooking up." You said, having investigated the matter futher ever since you discovered their love dispute. It was therefore important for you not to get too attached to Kenan, that is, if Luca ever decided to come back to earth again and realize that the perfect girl for him was already right by his side.

"I dunno, they seem pretty serious. Luca even asked if she could come with us to Bari this summer."

"He what?"

"Crazy, I know. I said it was cool, but of course Rebecca had to go on about the seating in the car, how there wasn't room for more people in the one we have. It's funny really..."

"What is?"

"Well, it really depends on you if she comes with us or not. If you manage to pass your driver's test there'll be more seats." She laughed. However you didn't find it funny at all.

School that day went by in a flash. Apparently, Luca called in sick today so that he and his band could travel to Milano and meet with a record label. The thoughts of his "girlfriend" traveling with him angered you, completely ruining your day.

".....and then he shot the bear in the face which left his jaw hanging out from its head. It was the craziest shit I've ever seen."

Kenan drove you home again after school. He had Gio on speaker as the two of them wouldn't stop going on and on about a movie that they saw last night. 

"Thanks for the ride." You muttered, when his car pulled up to your house. 

"Y/N, wait!" You made it up the driveway when Kenan came running after you, carrying something in his hand. "I forgot to give you this." He handed you what looked to be a football jersey, a Juventus jersey to be exact.

"Erm....thank you?" You held up the shirt, regarding it skeptically. The number 15 was visible on the back of it. Along with Kenan's last name Yildiz.

"It's for the charity game tomorrow. I thought you'd want to wear it."

"Why would I want to do that?" You snorted but instantly regretted doing so, seeing how Kenan's expression faltered.

"I dunno?" He scratched the back of his head. "I guess it's a thing that players' girlfriends wear their jerseys. Who knows? it might bring me good luck."

"Kenan, it's a charity game." Which you now regretted going to. However, all of your friends were going, including Luca.

"I know." He chuckled. "But you should keep it, for future games."

You sighed. "I'm not your girlfriend Kenan, I thought we went over this?"

He looked like he wanted to protest. Poor thing. But just then the front door to your house came ajar, with your dad stepping out onto the porch. "Y/N, honey, is that you?"

You turned around, quite stunned to see him home this early in the day. "Dad? You're home."

"Yes, and so is your mother. We've been expecting your arrival. I was unaware that you were bringing along a friend." His eyes shot towards Kenan, who crumbled at the sight of your dad, a man three heads taller than himself. "Erm....Mr Y/L/N." He stuttered. At least he hadn't forgotten his manners.

"Yes, that's me." Your dad spoke in a voice intimidating for anyone who didn't know him.

"I was just dropping her off." Kenan turned to you, eyeing the jersey in your hands. "But I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you." 

You watched Kenan walk back to his car and drive off.

"Is he a friend of yours?" Your dad asked, shutting the door behind you.

"Yeah, something like that."

 *********************************

The next day, you waited until the last minute to decide whether you were going to the game or not. If you failed to show up, you'd be a shitty friend. But if you did show up, you were basically agreeing to be Kenan's girlfriend. Something that you weren't ready to do. At least not yet.

"I heard that Luca is bringing that girl who dresses like a homeless person." Rebecca said. She came over to your house, not minding if you chose to attend the game or not. She was good either way.

"I figured." You sighed. "They've been dating for a while."

Rebecca sat up in bed. She regarded you, lying on your back, eyes glued to the sealing. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, everyone knows that you like Luca."

"Not Kenan."

"Kenan?" She frowned.

You pushed up to rest on your elbows, nodding your head. "He asked me to be his girlfriend and that I'd go to the game wearing his jersey."

Rebecca covered her mouth with her hand, smothering her laughter.

"It's not funny."

"Y/N, what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know." You cried. "I really don't know."

"I say we go."

"Huh?"

Rebecca nodded her head. "Don't you see? Imagine if you turned up to the game wearing Kenan's Jersey. Who knows, Luca might get jealous?"

"You think so?"

"We won't know unless we go. Come on!"

It was stupid of Rebecca to let you practice your driving during a time like this. Your fingers drummed impatiently on the steering wheel. Apparently, the entire city had decided to hit the roads at the same time as you. You glanced at the watch on the dash, your anxiety growing with each passing minute. As you finally reached the stadium. The scoreboard read 2-0, and the crowd was already cheering. You missed the first half of the game.

"There's Gio and Maria!" Rebecca pointed out. And as you climbed up the stands to join them, their grins winded at the sight of you, wearing Kenan's jerseys.

"Whoever speaks loses their tongue." You said, to which Gio and Maria sealed their mouths with an ironic gesture. You then settled in to watch the second half, scanning the crowd, in search for.....

"Luca couldn't make it." Maria said. "His band was scheduled for a second meeting with the record label in Milano."

You turned to Rebecca.

"I swear I had no idea."

"For fucks sake." Why did you ever leave your house, you thought, on the verge of throwing a tantrum. But then a whistle blew and the players on the field started running across it again.

"There goes Kenan!" Gio said, cheering for his friend.

You scanned the field for Kenan's familiar number 15 jersey. You spotted him on the field, his face set in determination, eyeing his opponents. A fire lit within you, watching him. He looked so focused, so masculine. Like someone intellectual and cool. Someone intuned with life.

The game was over before you knew it, nevertheless, you hadn't paid attention to any of it. 

Kenan was seen jogging towards you, a mix of relief and excitement on his face. "You made it and you're wearing my jersey."

A flush of heat rose to your cheeks. "I....I guess I did, and I guess I am."

Kenan's expression softened, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you towards him. The last thing you heard before he kissed you was Gio and Maria's astonished gasps and Rebecca smothering her sounds of disgust. However, none of it mattered. The way he kissed you did. Kenan pressed his lips against you as if it was the first time. He was gentle yet eager, letting his tongue slip into your mouth. He kissed you to the sound of a crowd cheering him on. He kissed like you were the one, the only girl for him.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

[losyash]

SHIMON ARC: Hibari to Tsuna

Recently I've been liveblogging my Shimon arc reread to my friends.

On chapter 323 one of them said they always wondered if the headband being there meant something. And yes, curtains might be blue because it's a nice color. But no. No, curtains being blue is incredibly goddamn important.

HEAR ME OUT

First, to recap what is happening: Shimon arc, pre Adelheid vs Hibari battle they briefly argue about Tsuna and Enma and decide on their pride and the rules of the battle: to seize each other's handband. Adelheid creates an ice prison that is impossible to penetrate from outside and 500 ice clones to fight Hibari. He fights them all, tells Adelheid she is wrong about Enma and small animals (which i will talk about later) and uses minirolls to crush the ice fort from the inside. After this he gets her handband, they talk about Tsuna again and Hibari drops his "it is because of the sky the cloud can float freely" thing.

Before I delve into it, however, I feel like I should take a quick dive in Tsuna-Hibari relationship from Hibari's perspective.

To put it simply, at first Hibari does not give a single fuck about Tsuna personally. Even after this glorious scene happens

All Hibari thinks about that day is that he wants to meet Reborn again. During the course of Daily life arc however Hibari messes with him plenty. Ny the time 43rd chapter (sakura viewing) rolls around, Hibari's opinion on Tsuna is summarized by this:

And this is actually the key. Hibari does not understand Tsuna. To him Tsuna is some weird ass alien creature who does not fit his rigid worldview. At first Hibari tries to make him make sense again by asserting himself over Tsuna and putting him back to the role of herbivore which he does follow every time except when he doesn't?? For some reason?????

Kokuyo arc is the arc that changed the manga tone in general but it's also the arc that changed Hibari himself. He is brutally shown that he as he is does not have the power to do whatever he wants. Something has to change. And Hibari seeks that change in Tsuna, who somehow managed to defeat Mukuro when Hibari himself failed.

chapter 123, cloud battle aftermath

He stops trying to still Tsuna. Instead he wants now to understand what the fuck is up about him and what can he do. The answer is Tsuna can burn a man alive in a fit of rage btw.

BUT THE THING IS. THE THING IS EVENTUALLY HE DOES UNDERSTAND TSUNA. AND THIS LEADS US TO TAKE A LIL BREAK FOR THE PRIDE TALK

Now, the obvious thing: headband symbolizes Hibari's pride.

Here is what he says, when first asked about it:

But also Hibari vs Adelheid battle is the one that finally clears up what the hell does "pride" mean.

The thing is. What Hibari is saying (and what he tried to make Tsuna understand, because the whole battle here his two goals are to win (duh) and to help Tsuna find his conviction again) is that the actual meaning of "What is your pride?" is "What makes you yourself?". You, as a person, should be proud of who you are. And he tells Tsuna, that it is whatever he cannot give up, whatever makes the very core of Tsuna's self is what he should fight for (And then Tsuna tells Enma "You are my pride" which is very juicy but deserves its own post).

Okay, now with this out of the way, let's get to the next thing:

Hibari vs Adelheid (but not the violent edition)

Hibari and Adelheid are not only fighting, they are also talking to each other. And by talking I mean arguing. About Tsuna and Enma and little animals.

Here is important thing to note first: asking around some people who know some people who know japanese gave me information that actually "small animal" is. Not different from herbivore at all. They are apparently used intechangingly based on how much space speechbubble has.

This does affect things: when it is usually thought that Tsuna in Hibari's eyes carves a new category for himself, not worth calling by name nor insulting nickname, nor he can be classified as a simple herbivore, he is just his own thing. Instead it seems like Tsuna changed Hibari's opinion on entire population of herbivores-small animals. (and if those people just got me confused ill die of shame (;-;)b)

ANYWAY, THEIR DEBATE

yes i had to put it all here. it's good. read it.

Do you see it guys? Do you see how far he came from daily life? He now really does understand Tsuna. He cracked the code. And he does now acknowledge that yeah Tsuna (and by extention other ppl like him. Like Enma) has his own way to live life and it does work for him. Tsuna is not weak. Being a herbivore does not automatically mean being weak.

Another interesting thing here is this:

"Why is a man like you with the likes of Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

"I'm not with him"

And I think it's important to remember here that Adelheid does see Tsuna=Vongola boss thing. To Tsuna it's Him and His Friends against Enma and His Friends. To her? It's Vongola vs Shimon

And when she talks to Hibari about Tsuna, she is saying "Why are you with Sawada Tsunayoshi?" but what she means is "Why are you with Vongola?" and this difference does impact Hibari's answer. Case in point:

I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU SAID THAT... WELL... TRUE ENOUGH.

BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE CLOUD GUARDIAN OF THE VONGOLA'S SKY? ACCORDING TO WIKI, THIS:

A drifting Cloud, whom cannot be bound. Protecting the famiglia from an independent standpoint.

AND SO

I am sorry, I am very normal about this, promise.

And so Hibari basically admits that he will not be bound to Tsuna, but he will be around, involving himself when he feels like it. They're friends your honor.

BUT THERE IS MORE.

The attribute of the cloud flames is propagation. Why is it relevant?

this is the hype up text at the end of chapter 322.

and this is the last page of chapter 323.

Remember i briefly mentioned Hibari stagnating in daily life arc and realizing that there must be something more during Kokuyo arc? He found it. Tsuna is the one who gave him this opportunity. Just being around Tsuna allowed Hibari to grow. To propaga- Okay, that does sound silly. But I think the point still stands. Tsuna gave Hibari space to grow, and frankly, Hibari is grateful for that.

now we are entering the deranged territory

Hibari watched Tsuna grow all during the course of the manga and at some point Tsuna DID outgrow him. Not psychologically, but powerwise? Def. And Hibari cannot be not aware of that.

You might ask, how is he okay with that, but the thing is, Hibari is actually very chill with not being the strongest person in the room. What he actually needs is people to respect him and his authority as Disciplinary Committee chairman and Namimori protector. Reborn respects it and is stronger than him. Does Hibari want to fight him? Yes. But he is not actually going out of his way to attack him.

Tsuna has a great deal of respect for Hibari, and in turn Hibari does not feel the same hostility to him he does towards Mukuro despite Tsuna being totally able to win against him in a fight. Once again, rip Byakuran.

BUT. HIBARI IS NOT GOING TO STOP GROWING ANYMORE. HE LEARNED HIS LESSON, HE IS NOW ENDLESSLY EVOLVING OR SOME SHIT.

AND

WHAT I AM SAYING IS

HE IS NOT ONLY NOT GOING TO STOP HELPING TSUNA TO BE BETTER BUT HE ALSO IS GOING TO USE TSUNA AS BENCHMARK

NOT AS SOMEONE TO BE LIKE. BUT SOMEONE TO BE BETTER THAN

THE PRIDE AS SYMBOL OF SELF AND AND THE BAND AS SYMBOL OF PRIDE

AND DISCIPLINE BEING THE KEY TO BETTERMENT OF SELF

HE DECLARES TSUNA BOTH HIS FRIEND AND HIS RIVAL THATS WHAT THE BLUE CURTAINS MEAN I REST MY CASE

[menaceoffandoms]

LMK analysis rant: Mei

I said I was gonna do this and I'm keeping to my word! The only thing that may stop me is my procrastinating... and the fic I'm slowly writing but uhhhhh-

ANYWAY- We're here to talk about Mei, our favourite white horse dragon pepper girl!

Mei stands out as the most different from her inspiration, something the writers perfectly portray in the yellow-robed demon episode of s4, which is likely to do with how little they had to go off of. Despite being one of the pilgrims in jttw, Ao Lie dose very little in the novel. His most notable chapters being when he's introduced and when the group faces the yellow-robed demon, which is why we met him in that memory in the scroll. Combined with my belief that Mei isn't a reincarnation of Ao Lie -- just his descendent -- means that Mei is one of the most unique characters in the entire show.

There's just less source material for her to draw from, it let's the writers have more fun and do more things. It's not that they don't make the others characters unique -- they like to play very fast and loose with things over all -- but Mei feel like her own complete and original character. She's inspired by Ao Lie in the same way Mk is inspired by Monkie King basically and she all the better for it.

Being the female lead (isn't it interesting how most of the female characters in this show are villans?), Mei is a refreshingly strong, confident girl who begins the show as the most powerful cast member. Being a descendent of the great dragon gives her amazing powers that no other cast members have, a birth right that leads to her being the most protective of her friends and the first to help out in any fight.

What she has in power, however, she lacks in experience. Mei has no mentor -- other than her parents, but I believe its safe to assume they weren't very focused on teaching her combat -- which leads her to trust her gut more, rush into things and learn through observation, like when she mimics what her great x1000 uncle did in s3.

Overall Mei is an excitable, energetic and loving person with a "You only live once" kinda attitude, for lack of a better explanation. Even still, she has her own insecurities and flaws which make her all the more interesting. Due to the shows run time, Mei and many of the other main characters don't really get explored as much as Mk, however what we do see of these struggles and fears is incredibly interesting even on a surface level.

Her tendency to rush head first into danger without first examining the situation or creating a plan, truthfully, tends to work out for her, but it can't always. It's something shown perfectly in s4, when Mei is the only member of the group to not get a star from Master Subohdi, however what a lot of people seem to miss is how Mei actually did earn that star eventually.

When they leave the temple and head to the celestial realm to try and stop Azure, Mei leads them there with no plan at all. As such, they fail and need to be saved by Mk. Faced with proof of Subohdi's criticism, Mei makes the more important amendment to Mk's plan in the s4 special. I don't think we've even seen Mei make a serious plan until this point, which feeds back in to another one of her flaws: being unable to take things seriously.

This isn't something I see said about Mei often, but when watching her character I think it's externally obvious. Don't get me wrong, Mei can be serious, but usually only in moments of vulnerability or high stress. For example: when talking with her pearents, after she gained the Samahdi fire and whilst imprisoned by the Yellow-robed demon.

I think this flaw is Mei's own version of Mk playing dumb. They both behave this way to lessen the emotional impact of serious things, to protect themselves and help those around them deal with trauma or difficult topics. Mei and Mk really are two sides of the same coin and I'd love for them to do more with that in the show.

Going back to Mei's parents, one of her biggest struggles is reconciling who she is with who she's meant to be. She is a noble dragon, a descendent of the great dragon of the West Sea and practically the successor to Ao Lie. It's a lot to live up to and -- evident in episode 3 of season 1; Welcome home -- she doesn't believe she dose.

Mei is confident in her abilities, she's sure of her strength and quick to help those around her, but in the face of her legacy she stands uncertain. It's another thing her and Mk have in common, though in vastly different flavours, and it's interesting how this legacy colours Mei as a character.

She wields the dragon blade, proving herself as a worthy part of her family and gaining the approval of her parents, however the stark difference between her and the rest of her clan is more blatant than ever. We see this perfectly in season 3 when they visit the great Dragon of the East Sea, Mei being put into fancy clothes she instantly ruins in order to have a place to hold her sword. She fights against her uncle, fights against her family, because she knows they'll never understand her. But even still, she knows she's still one of them and she's so proud to be.

Becoming the vessel of the Samahdi fire is only more proof of Mei's legacy and connection to her family. It gives her a moment of pure vulnerability where she vents her frustrations and fears before rushing away, wanting nothing more than to protect the people she cares about.

When Red Son finds her she's still serious, but even with just a basic understanding of the fire within her Mei falls back to her normal nature; a silly excitable girl not taking things seriously. We see this after Red Son attacks her with the spears and when she's eating later on, but even if her attitude doesn't show it, she's still listening and taking the training seriously. She just needs to be silly so she won't freak out again.

Since we're on the topic of the Samahdi fire, I think most people can agree that the way it was handled post s3 was very poor. With only one mention of it in s4, by Master Subohdi no less, I assumed that the fire had been resealed, this time correctly. Something that dangerous should be locked up, even if a capable wielder is around. It would also prevent power creep and stop the show from having another Wukong predicament, by which I mean a character so powerful they need to find a way to prevent them from trivialising whatever threat they have to face in the plot. Wukong will get his own post soon don't you worry...

Instead, we learn in s5 that Mei still has the fire, she just kinda forgot? She learned to fully master it when breaking out of LBDs mech, so since the fire was no longer a raging uncontrollable inferno she just didn't realise it was still there... for an entire season. Yeah it feels lazy and honestly is probably the worse written choice the show has even made. Even still, it dose lead to a very interesting and in character moment for Mei.

When attempting to seal the willow wisp with Red Son, Mei loses her confidence, believing that she lost the Samahdi fire and thinking she's lacking. Mk getting Monkie Kings powers was one thing, but the rest of her friends now having cool weapons and magic? If their all so strong and only getting stronger, then what's the point in Mei? She was the strongest but now she might be the weakest, and that terrifies her cause if she's weak she can't protect people. How can she act when she's powerless to do so?

This dilemma is quickly resolved by Red Son telling her she's had the fire the whole time, amending it's use to Mei's lightning motif she's had since s1 -- I know fire benders in ATLA use lighting but come on -- and basically saying she's been using the fire the whole time. It takes away from Mei's whole struggle to be honest, but I do think there's potential for her to relearn this now tamed Samahdi fire so she can better use it. Just depends if the show wants to do that...

Moving on from my thinly veiled complaints about season 5 (I like it I swear but it is the weakest seasons to me so far), let's talk about Mei's role in the group a bit. Aside from being the token girl, she's also Mk's best friend and the only other character his age and acts around the same age as the shows target audience. Mk's the main character and leader, Tang is the lazy historian smart guy, Sandy the loveable giant, Pigsy the cynical brute and Mei's youthful and silly power house.

I would love to go into some narrative tropes, specifically the 5 man band since jttw is one of the primary bases of the trope, but I've realised I have far too many thoughts about that to fit here. This is the 21sh paragraph and I'm sure at least some of this is a mess, but I hope I'm getting my point across! Overall, Mei is an extremely compelling character how often gets side-lined due to run time and other stuff, but is honestly one of my favourite characters in the show.

[mushimatsu]

choromatsu handwriting post

compiled all of choromatsus handwriting that i could find bc i love him

i realize these were all made by different teams and have different sources (anime/games/webkuji/etc) but there are some similarities between them all and i think its cute. i'll try to make it easier for ppl that cannot read japanese too

(note: some of these may or may not be valid criticisms, im not a native japanese speaker but i got my bachelors in japanese. idk if this means anything to anyone im just pointing out things that im noticing and maybe it will be interesting to you. if you notice anything else interesting feel free to add)

commonalities i noticed:

sometimes will combine multiple character strokes into one (normal thing to do, i've seen some native speakers do this)

with a few exceptions (mt takao for some reason), generally neat handwriting. proper and easy to read. not too big, not too small, not over stylized, but not messy either. very choromatsu

letter in s1e24

very nice handwriting, legible and neat. this is closest to how i think i would picture his handwriting. i know that the staff across different ososan things probably don't care too deeply about keeping minute handwriting details consistent and that's why they're all gonna look different but i like this one best for him.

new years cards in s2e13

very cute, love the stupid drawing of himself. everything very nice and tidy. to me these characters look a much curlier and rounder than the ones in the letter.

for both the letter and the new years cards it looks like he was careful to properly write out all the strokes of the kanji, even for more complicated ones like 緊張 and 就職. we see in mt takao that his handwriting gets a LOT messier. i know the real reason is because it was probably different animators that did his handwriting, but i'm choosing to believe that in canon it's because both of these are more fancy/formal letters addressed to people, whereas the trip guide is just for him and his brothers and doesn't necessarily need to look nice.

also i adore his tendency to add little drawings to things, like this and the mt takao guide he's everything

trip guide from mt. takao s3e8. his handwriting here, for some reason, is exceptionally bad especially compared to everything else. he writes like a little kid and i love his shitty little drawings. he's so cute.

my teachers would always correct my kanji down to the tiniest strokes, if i wrote like this is class i would get scolded so bad. you can see him combining his strokes together for 記念撮影, this will continue for the other pictures too. cute detail imo

the 昼 in 昼食 is definitely written wrong, but the second kanji 食 might be a little nitpicky. technically that bottom part is three different strokes, not two crossed over each other

more of him combining the strokes together. i wouldn't necessarily say that's wrong, since i've seen people do that before; it's probably just a habit that happens over time. i do it in english too

HOWEVER, he did write the 日 radical in 撮影 wrong here. previously, i thought he was just combining strokes again so that it looked like three lines instead of two (note 3 and 4 are two parallel lines, he just didn't lift his pen up)

but when you look at this it's clear that he very much did write three lines this time. that's the wrong radical

anyway

another example of him writing a two stroke character with just one. again, this is fine, ive seen people write their characters like this. however it looks bad when he does it here

i love how he wrote "campfire" i love how for some reason he didn't keep the letter sizing consistent or straight. also his little campfire drawing

１９時

キャンプ

ファイヤー

also there's two ways to write そ, its just a matter of choice its not important but he writes it the second way. and he messed up a kanji again

these next ones are maybe less canon cause they're not from the show itself

Airport Matsu

very tidy, combines a couple strokes together. both 松 (matsu) characters look like he combines the last two strokes together instead of writing them as two separate ones

and he does a similar thing with the right half of 野 in Matsuno

nostalgic moments webkuji

this one he writes every stroke and doesn't combine them and that's probably because different people worked on these and the tiny details like this don't matter to anyone but me. or you could say that he wrote a little neater in high school and started simplifying things as he got older.

Rock School

he drew himself again lol

i think his handwriting looks very good here actually. idk how to describe it but i like when handwriting looks like this specific way in japanese. i've seen other people that have handwriting like this and it just looks so nice. like the characters seem to vary in size, but somehow it makes it a little easier to read imo?

like in the first bullet point (underlined in yellow), the す in 多すぎる is a little big, but like it looks nice. in the second bullet point (blue), the の in 世の中 is slightly smaller but it emphasizes the kanji on either side of it. the stroke on the side of the か characters are written a little longer than usual (red). like it just looks nice, everything is shaped really nice and whenever i see people that have this handwriting i always try to emulate it lol

Neetpro

this one is a bit messier than the others. the way he wrote チョロ just doesn't look as nice as the way he wrote it in airport matsu and nostalgic moments. the way the て is written is more curved compared to the others. also the 界 kanji (blue) is written in a way that looks weird to me, and kara from this same set also writes the kanji that way so i think the same person might have written all of them lol

also interesting is that he writes き differently in this one

i was told by one of my professors that you're supposed to write さ and き with the upper and lower parts disconnected when writing by hand. it's only in text that they're connected. but i've still seen some people write them in the connected way

in all the other examples, choromatsu doesn't write them connected like that, just this one.

sukiya app

my lovely boy and his nonsense words and lies. the handwriting here comes off as very cutesy to me, at least compared to the others. some of the ways he writes, especially any box-like shape, seems round in a way. he also connects the right half of 野 again.

overall writes very neatly, altho a lot of the kanji here seems like its very big on the top and smaller on the bottom, and a lot of the letters seem more rounded. all the other examples just feel like the writing is a bit more angular, with the exception of the new years cards.

extra: coloring book

the way he wrote his name here is messier than the other examples. i like that he added little commentary on his own coloring though ("looks good!" "the tail was black too i believe") maybe he colored this with a paintbrush????? the strokes look as if he was trying to write quickly with a brush as if it was a pen. so maybe that's why its a little messier

anyway thanks for reading. i love choromatsu

[tiredandoptimistic]

As someone who likes a lot of "bad" media, or media that starts out kinda slow but builds into a bigger plot over time, I see so many different opinions on what bits are "okay" to skip in order to get to the good part, and it's just wild to me. Bouncing around between the highlights doesn't actually give you the experience, and filler is so important when it comes to just...creating a vibe and building up the relationships between characters and with the audience.

For instance, Red vs Blue is probably my favorite show (ever, of all time), and while I will admit that the first five seasons are not my favorite, I still think they're essential to the show, because those five years of relatively low stakes adventures set the tone so that it can be upset by the bigger plot points. The impact of a big twist is reduced if you haven't spent the time to get invested in these characters when they're just hanging out and being silly. Most importantly though, even once the plot really gets going in season six and we get into the more serious Freelancer and Chorus arcs, Red vs Blue is still fundamentally about a bunch of idiots standing around and talking. If you have to force yourself to put up with the majority of the show, then you might just not like this show.

I was talking about this with my friend, and they said it's kinda the same thing with Homestuck. Yes, it does get "better" as time goes on, but it's still the same thing it's always been, and if that's not something you enjoy then skipping to the bits you do like won't change what it is.

Or like, I freaking love The Order of the Stick, and last year I reread it from the beginning for the first time in a while, and I half convinced myself that I'd just made up how good it is (because volume one is funny enough but nothing to write home about). However, I hit a certain point where I realized that I wasn't just reading out of a sense of obligation but because I adore these characters and am unspeakably invested in this plot. You can really tell that it's been a story happening over the course of 20+ years, you can see the writing and art improve dramatically as time goes on. I could just recommend that someone start with volume two or three, and summarize the plot up till then so they don't feel lost. However! That would rob them of the experience you get from watching these characters grow. You can't fully appreciate Belkar's arc in volume six if you didn't see what he was like on day one, y'know?

On another note, I love the Shadowhunters Chronicles, and I know that a lot of people will give The Mortal Instruments shit and call it the worst series or whatever, but those people just hate fun. Yeah, there are other series that might have stronger plots and better writing, but there's a reason that TMI's main characters have been iconic for years. Sometimes, things are just silly, and if you don't like that then you're not gonna have a good time here.

I could go on! I also like a lot of episodic shows like MASH, Community, Tangled: the Series, the whole DC animated universe, Supernatural, etc. I could come up with lists of my favorite episodes to try to hook somebody, but all of those episodes lose a lot of their impact when taken out of context. Skipping the filler doesn't give you the ultimate experience of Only The Best, it takes away your chance to fully spend time with these characters in a variety of settings. And sure, lots of shows with multiple writers do have some episodes that are just bad, but that's not what I'm talking about. There's a difference between something being bad and something being low-stakes. Maybe you personally don't enjoy things that are low-stakes, but that might just mean you shouldn't be watching a sitcom.

So yeah, this has been an excuse for me to rant about things I enjoy for a while but I'm sorta out of time and need to eat lunch, so I suppose this post has reached its conclusion. All my favorite media are my favorite for reasons I couldn't articulate in an elevator pitch, and putting together a highlight reel will never substitute for truly being in the trenches. If you're truly having a good time with something then you won't need to skip to the good part, because the whole thing is enjoyable.

[jar-of-ectoplasm]

Who Can It Be Now?

Going back to my quotev days and writing some "creepypasta" fanfic (its marble hornets but nobody bothers to differentiate them)

basically it's the 4 main guys (brian, tim, jay, alex) stalking the reader, there's no specific timeline in the series but obviously its before people died

please note i'm not trying to glorify stalking in any way, shape, or form, it's a weird fucked up thing to do, this is purely based in fiction.

i hope you enjoy

Tim Wright/The Masked Man

-He knows what it's like to be watched, to have all of your privacy breached without your knowledge, but he can't really help himself. He wants to blame the Masked Man for why he's doing this to you, but it's a cheap scapegoat.

-Tim won't make himself too suspicious, he doesn't want the cops called on him or to scare you, so he usually sticks to lurking around you in public. Seeing him in the corner of your eye only to look and see that he'd slipped into a crowd, having him watch you through the gaps in grocery store shelves

-He'll strike up friendly small talk with you if you do ever approach him, but he'll never do anything too forward on his own. If he's memorized your morning schedule enough, sometimes he'll pop into your favorite cafe before you and pay for your order or leave enough money for lunch under your windshield wiper. Small acts of secret service are his go-to, something like a secret admirer's way of courting

-He'd never go so far as to break into your home or steal your belongings, at least that's what he thinks. The t-shirts too small to be his that appear in his own home are a mystery to him (and to you, considering your laundry keeps disappearing)

-Masky is almost the opposite of Tim. If he's in control, you will feel eyes on you every second of the day, even in the "comfort" of your own home. He turns Tim's awkward glances and small favors to a complete 180. He's burning holes into your head for hours on end, not letting you leave his sight for a moment.

-It doesn't matter what time of day it is to him; he will be following you as close as he can, mask on or off. He'll follow you just a little too close, stare a little too long, anything he can do to make sure you don't get too far from him

-Even at night, he'll break in when you're sound asleep. He'll sit atop your dresser or hide in your closet, just watching. Nothing will stop him from making sure you're in his line of sight, not even the Operator.

Brian Thomas/The Hooded Figure

-Almost like Tim, in the way he'll do small favors for you, but these are much more personal. Instead of just doing monetary things for you, Brian will go out of his way to sneak into your home and leave subtle reminders of errands you may have to run or other important things on your to-do list. Your laptop will be on your coffee table in the morning, open to an application website or your final paper with a hot cup of coffee and your favorite breakfast right next to it.

-It's scary how quickly and quietly he can do these things for you when you're asleep just a room away, but he always manages to do something grand for you every morning...however creepy it may be to wake up to it.

-The difference between Brian and Hoodie is almost nonexistent. They are one in the same to me, which means their methods of watching you are very similar, though Brian is always willing to approach you with small talk and try to befriend you.

-Despite the similarities, there is a clear difference in the air around them. Though you may think you're talking with the guy that always seems to be at the library, grocery store, or cafe whenever you are, the look in his eyes isn't the same as it was last time. There's no genuine kindness, no innocent interest, just pure obsession.

-Hoodie is a lot more daring in his escapades into your home. He'll break into your bedroom window, before you've even fallen asleep, and make himself comfortable under your bed until you've finally gone to bed.

-He'll slip out of his hiding place, looming over your bed, camera in hand. Sweeping the hair out of your face, he'll zoom in, capturing your unconscious expression. He'll stand there for hours, just watching. Inches away from your face, he'll finally whisper a quiet goodbye before leaving the same way he came in

-Whether you were really asleep or not, your mind knows something is wrong. Maybe next time you'll remember to lock your window...even though he'll find his way in regardless.

Jay Merrick

-Unlike Tim or Brian, Jay refuses to go up to you at all. He won't risk getting you involved in whatever is going on around him, even though he's already put you in enough danger just hanging around you.

-That won't stop him from lurking around you, though. He catches every little movement you make on camera, just waiting to get back to his apartment to rewatch the footage over and over and over again, conjuring up a connection between the two of you in his mind.

-Jay will be too nervous to blow his cover to ever talk to you, so he sticks to his imagination. In his head, the two of you are madly in love, but in reality, it couldn't be further from the truth. It'd be surprising if you even knew his name.

-If Alex started catching on to what Jay was doing, he'd start getting aggressive. Jay has convinced himself the two of you are meant to be this way, and if Alex can't see that then it's too bad for him. Jay isn't changing for anybody.

-He wouldn't go so far as to break into your home, but he would sit outside your bedroom window and peek in every hour to make sure you were still safe and sound. He's grown hyper-paranoid about you and your safety, it's like having a really weird security system.

-Like Tim he'd memorize your routine so he could make sure to be at the right place at the right time to catch a glimpse of you, even though you'd start to notice the weirdo with a camera following you everywhere eventually.

-Even if you'd start to catch on, it's not like he looks threatening enough to be taken seriously. Sure, he's got a camera and is going everywhere you seem to go, but he's a film student. His professor will back him up on this, he swears it.

Alex Kralie

-Like Jay, he would also record everything. Literally everything. You can't go a single minute without feeling like you're being watched. Alex will go out of his way to purchase security cameras to install in your home so he can keep (several) eyes on you.

-Is more than willing to approach you and try to strike up a conversation. He isn't too shameful about being everywhere you are. He'll throw in a joke or two about it into every conversation the two of you have, which only heightens your acknowledgement of it. He thinks it's a game.

-But cat and mouse isn't the only game he's willing to play with you, no. Hide and seek is a fun one too. He'll sneak into your home in broad daylight and hide around various spaces in every room. Under your bed, in your closet, behind the shower curtain, anywhere. He gets a kick out of sneaking around while your back is (literally) turned

-He won't do anything to "help out" like Brian or Tim, he'll actively make things more difficult for you. Moving things to higher shelves, hiding remote controls, stealing computer chargers, unplugging appliances. Anything to cause a slight obstacle in your day, he'll do it

-When the Operator starts taking old of his mind, though, things start to get even worse. He will start to leave things for you, in the form of ominous notes scribbled on paper and small reminders that you are not, and will never be, alone.

-What starts off as something mildly perturbing turns into genuine terror when he hides around your house. He'll let you find him this time, and he swears he won't come back, but he always manages to weasel his way in.

-Calling the cops won't do much of anything either...Alex isn't afraid to get his hands dirty when it's for something he really wants.

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

Some dialogue from the original MDZS which was cut from the current version:

When Jiang Cheng had lost his golden core. Wei Wuxian had given up his own to him. When Lan Wangji heard this did he feel as if he would give anything up out of gratitude? Wei Wuxian immediately bluted out, "Nonsense! Nonsense! That’s outrageous ! I'm not that sacrificial*! It’s nothing like that!” - from this post, but I've found and verified this passage in the original version myself – see below.

(It was the whole dialogue exchange that was cut, likely due to it laying out LWJ's motivations form pushing WWX away too explicitly, not just this line. Add that to characters acting pretty much the same in this version, and MXTX never mentioning characterisation as something she was refining in the edits, we can be relatively certain this cut is not due to a change in characterisation)

Now, why is this important? MDZS (in its current form) doesn't state character traits outright – it's written better than that – but this is the closest thing to direct, verbal confirmation we'll get that WWX isn't a self-sacrificial idiot! You could always argue that since it's WWX speaking, he's being an 'unreliable narrator', but his remarks are proven right multiple times in the text. He doesn't seek out situations where he has to sacrifice something, it's certainly not his preferred route when dealing with a situation (he finds ways where no sacrifice is necessary, it's a side effect rather than a primary motivation, and as seen in the linked scene with Su She, if something isn't working, he won't go down with the ship trying to save someone. Even the motivations of the Golden Core transfer are a lot more than they seem at first glance – firstly, there's the Jiang debt ('He remembered every single thing he promised Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu—to help and take care of Jiang Cheng'), and this exchange with Wen Ning adds useful motivation context as well:

"If his core was ruined, he’d manage to live on, but Sect Leader Jiang was a different case. He was too driven. He laid too much emphasis on such a subject. Cultivation was his life. If Sect Leader Jiang could only be an ordinary person, unable to go anywhere in life, his entire life would be over." - EXR, Chapter 89

(And that's not just a conjecture! We along with WWX, are shown it in JC's reactions throughout Poisons 5 – he's not drinking or eating anything, thinking that dying and living would be the same thing and there's no point in living anymore.)

So from the evidence we’re shown, I’m pretty confident in saying that this is supposed to be taken truthfully.

Original Chinese:

江澄没了金丹, 魏无羡就把金丹剖了送给江澄, 蓝忘机见了, 会不会隐约觉得自己为了感恩什么都肯付出? 魏无羡立即道, 胡袄! 胡袄! 岂有比理! 我可没那么伟大! 跟那完全没关系! - MDZS original version, taken from here – you can find all of it there!

—

*From what I can find, the actual wording here, 伟大, means 'great'/'grand'/'worthy of the greatest admiration' rather than directly 'sacrificial'. However, judging from the context – that this is in retaliation to the view that he'd easily give up and sacrifice anything for some purpose (here, for gratitude) – it's safe to assume this is what it means.

[wayfayrr]

I offer the idea of soft times with sage

Braiding hair, just cuddling with each other and overall spending time with one another.

- 🍄

(It’s been a bit lmao, college kicked me in the shins)

sorry it's been a while since you sent this, I relate with uni being a bitch though :')

I'm gonna use this ask though to put it out that I'm no longer going to be writing for Sage, however I won't stop writing totk link altogether - instead I've been creating a link that's more inline for how I see his character and for how I'm comfortable to write <3 I've been calling him Tears so far and I have to thank a lot of my mutuals for chipping in ideas with a special mention to @glowyskull for coming up with some of the best headcanons I think I've ever heard (the last three are courtesy of them) <333 @h4wari, @mushroomwoods, @sketchyspook here's the boy you were waiting for!!! (thank you all for your help too <333)

and without any more hesitation here he is!!

✦ he got the nickname tears for a reason, anything and everything will set this boy off. he's a true crybaby and will certainly use it to try and win your attention from the others. It's not always cause he's sad though, sometimes things can just get overwhelming 

✦ his memory can be a bit spotty, unlike wild he rushed through his previous quest, not that he's all that fussed about missing those memories - making new positive ones are more important to him

✦ like his counterpart, he's got a couple of different nicknames, tears is the most prominent however architect does tend to show itself fairly often. messing around to see what different kinds of contraptions he can make is one of his favourite pastimes, one he'll happily share if given the chance.

✦ wild and him have been assumed many times to be identical twins, seeing as his stint in the shrine of ressurection put a halt to most of his aging processes. not that he doesn't bring up his actual age every now and then for a little shock factor

✦ thankfully they're easy to tell apart, seeing as tears discovered how to dye his hair and paint his nails quickly into his second quest, leading to his hair forever being stained with a multitude of different colours while his nails change colour nearly every other day

✦ his cheeky side is still very much there though, ready to make the dumbest puns you've ever heard and to not stop till you're laughing no matter how hard you cringe at them when he starts.

✦ one of the most affectionate links, willing to do basically anything you ask him to and even things you didn't. give him the smallest hint you like a certain food? what do you mean it's a little suspicious he suddenly has all of its ingredients for it - he simply wanted to try it himself, can you tell him if it tastes right?

✦ He hates to see anyone crying, especially his significant other, nine times out of ten it’ll end up with him crying at your side but he’s always there at your side to cheer you up. If you can’t bring yourself to speak about whatever is upsetting you though? Luckily for him a simple kiss of your tears is enough to show him the memory that hurt you. Thankfully it also goes for the happier ones.

✦ Your smile and praise is something he simply lives for, headpats being his favourite way to receive it, leave him alone with belongings for too long though and when you come back he’s standing next to them with a blinding smile having fused a lot of them to each other or to something he thinks would be useful for you to have. Granted the journal flame thrower combination might not have been his brightest moment. 

✦ the same desire can come out in other ways though, such as giving you different nicknames with his personal favourite calling you his sundelion. Sometimes he really shows how much he likes that nickname by making you flowercrowns as surprises. Granted every now and then he takes it a little too far, telling you you’re all he needs to heal from the gloom instead of taking any real treatment.

Tending the fire is probably one of the easiest and most calming tasks I could’ve been given today, it’s nice to have something to zone out with after a whole day on the road. Not that I can complain about it though, we didn’t run into any monsters or other threats and travelling was calm. Who’s trying to get my attention by tapping me on the back though?

“[name]? Mind if I come sit with you for a bit, I'd like to get to know you better if that's alright.”

“Yeah of course Tears, If we’re going to be traveling together for a while it makes a lot of sense too.”

This man is a sweetheart I can tell, just from saying yes to him he’s already got the most coy smile on his face; it’s like his face is practically glowing from it when he sits. Shuffling closer to my side almost like he’s asking if it’s alright for him be be this close, with the way the firelight is illuminating him is making me question if the warmth on my face is really from the fire or not now. Just distract yourself with something before you get any redder. 

“Oh? You’ve got something in your hair, one second-”

The moment I plucked the stick out of his hair he froze up, his cheeks flushing before relaxing. 

“Are - are you good? Sorry I should’ve asked first.”

“No, no, no it’s alright I just… didn’t expect it?”

“Yeah I know, next time I’l-”

“Actually would you um mind playing with my hair? I ah never really get the chance to relax like this.”

Well isn’t that simply adorable, I would be heartless to say no to such a request. Besides, I know wild has some of the softest hair possible so the chance to play with it? No way am I going to miss that if all that visible dye hasn’t fried it to bits.

“If that’s what you want then I won’t say no.”

“Really?”Is he - no he can’t be, or maybe… is he so starved of affection that he’d tear up over something this small, the more I think about it, it does make sense. Playing with his hair is so relaxing I almost missed the fact that he was starting to tear up more, all I can hope for is that they’re not from him being upset.

[graciegoeskrazy]

i can stage a situation

warnings: r has an eating disorder, although it's not defined the symptoms are very similar to anorexia, yelling, lying, idk its lowk rough, i think i hate this? but i dont?

a/n: I have not a single clue who requested this but someone did so0ooooo THANKS ANON❣️❣️❣️

V IMPORTANT NOTE: I am by no means trying to romanticize or promote ed’s or anything of the sort. I’ve been a dancer for 16 years training in many styles, and I have seen firsthand how things like this can hurt people and those around them, but even then I will not claim to know every single thing possible about this subject - because I don’t. However, I did try my best and did research to try and write the best story I could without dishonoring the real-life issues people have to go through. All my love goes out to those going through this. <3

Your dad said he had a late night ahead of him. Something about recording with John or whatever, you didnt really listen. The point was he was going to be gone on a trip for the night, leaving Friday afternoon and returning Saturday morning. He would leave before you got home on Friday so, when Thursday rolled around and you decided you didn't want to spend your Friday night moping around by yourself, you called up your uncle Matty to see if you could spend the night. He, of course, with you being his favorite person, said yes. You told him to pick you up around 6 that night and to be prepared for a movie night.

You just weren't interested in eating. You couldn't exactly pinpoint the reason why. If you thought about it long and hard enough, you could probably figure it out, but thinking about it too much only seemed to make things worse.

When you got in the car the next day, Matty offered to cook you something, you said you weren't hungry and that your Dad fed you before he left. Both of those things were lies.

…

“I’m Home!”

“I’m in here.” You said, letting your voice guide him to the living room. You were scrolling on your phone while something was playing on the TV. He dropped his carry-on and case onto the couch and immediately went to you. Hugging you from behind and dramatically placing kisses all over your forehead and face. You squirmed out of his grasp and he smiled and came around to the other side of the couch to sit next to you. “I’m so sorry I’m late.” He said.

You smiled at him again.“It’s fine, Dad. Really. You don’t have to worry.”

He smiled back before changing the subject, knowing you weren't too worried about his tardiness. “How was your uncle’s?”

You shrugged. “Fine. We just watched a movie and hung out. It was fun.”

“Yeah? What did you have for dinner?”

You thought for a second, caught off guard by the question. “Spaghetti.” You finally said, remembering what Matty cooked for dinner white you sat on the other side of the counter.

Ross hummed. “Really? Was it good?”

“Delicious.” You said with a smile.

“Hm.” He knew you were lying - he knows you too well - but decided to not address it for now. “If it's your uncle’s-cooking then I beg to differ,” he said, getting up from the couch.

You can’t keep a secret from Ross. He can see through everyone, especially you, his daughter for crying out loud. Ross always had suspicions about your diet. He was the one who fed you of course, but he noticed the way you played around with your food during dinner. He also noticed how you always skipped breakfast and how you were always so tired and your energy was so low when you came home from school. He could see right through you when you told him about your endeavor at Matty’s, but he wanted to see for himself.

Ross | Did she eat at your house?

Matty | Wym?

Ross | Y/n. Did she eat when she was at your house?

Matty | No? She said she ate before she came. Y?

Ross | Did she snack on anything?

Matty | No? Not that I saw? What’s going on?

Ross | Nothing. Just wondering.

He sighed and marched up the stairs.

…

His main emotion was anger, but he couldn't tell why. Maybe because you lied to him, or maybe because he thought his baby girl was in danger and couldn't stand the thought of you being in pain. Truthfully, he was angry at himself. It started to become clear thatEither way, he tried to collect himself as he walked upstairs, sighing and shaking his head as he reached your bedroom door. He knocked.

“Come in.” You said.

He opened the door and leaned against the doorframe. You both watched each other for a second, waiting for the other to make a move first. You broke first and laughed. “You just gonna watch me like a creep?”

He walked into your room and sat on the foot of your bed. “Baby, I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to be honest.”

Your demeanor changed along with his. You could tell this was about something serious but you didn’t know what. And never in a million years did you think he would see this clearly though you.

“Okay?” You said, clearly confused.

He took a breath before answering. “Did you eat dinner last night?”

It took you back. Your thoughts from earlier flooded your brain with the realization you were right…he is onto you. “Ye-yeah…at Matty’s house…”

He sighed. “I don’t like it when you lie, y/n.”

You let out a dry chuckle. “I’m not lying-“

His face remained serious despite your best efforts to keep it light. “Yes, you are. And you just did it again.” You gulped. He knew. “And you didn’t eat breakfast this morning ethier.”

You took a moment to think but came up with nothing. “I was full from dinner.”

“But you didn’t eat dinner.” He answered sharply.

“Of course I ate dinner! Why would I not eat?”

“Because I texted your uncle and asked if you ate or not and he said ‘no’! In fact, he said that I fed you before you left, which I know for a fact I did not.” You had nothing to say after that. There was no use in fighting. He knew everything you’ve been up to and there was no saving you. The room stayed quiet. Ross sighed and slowly opened up. “So, I'm going to ask you again, did you eat dinner at Matty’s last night?”

You hesitantly look him in the eyes. “…No.” You whispered.

Ross continued. “And did you eat breakfast this morning?”

“No.”

“Did you eat at school at all in the past week?”

“No.” A tear fell as you spoke.

“When was the last time you ate something?”

You shrugged slightly. “I don’t know?”

Ross nodded, trying to remain calm, and stood to sit back down closer to you. “Why?” He asked

“I don’t know-”

“Y/n…”

"I don’t know! I don’t!" you burst out, the words tumbling from your lips in a rush. "I just... everything feels off... and I just don’t feel like... eating."

Ross's eyes widen, a mix of concern and desperation. His mind went to the first things he could think of. "Is it because of school? A-are people... pressuring you into this or something? I-"

"Of course not. I’m not that naive," you cut him off, glaring at him, the frustration in your voice evident.

"I never said you were." He takes a step closer, his voice softening. "Where did this start, baby? I need you to tell me." His eyes search yours, pleading. "You’re hurting yourself, Y/N. How could you do this to yourself? I mean... you’re the kind of kid people dream of raising-"

"No, I’m not," you snap back, your voice trembling.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I’m not!" Your voice hit a volume Ross hadn’t heard in a while. "I’m a clueless, lonely, boring 13-year-old who was the product of a one-night stand, trying to figure out what to do with her life."

Ross's face pales, the impact of your words hitting him like a physical blow. "Is that what this is about? Baby, is this about Mom?"

"It doesn't matter-" you begin, rolling your eyes, but he interrupts you, his voice rising.

"Uh, it actually matters more than anything else on the planet right now. My baby girl is hurting. Not only that, but she’s hurting herself, and I will be damned if I just let something like this go."

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "She was trying to make her life perfect... And so I thought... she’s trying to make her life perfect and I’m already doing this so what’s the harm if I keep going. I wanted to be perfect for her."

Ross’s eyes fill with tears. "You’re already perfect-"

"Will you cut the crap! I’m not! And you don’t understand it!" You feel the tears welling up, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall.

"You’re right, I don’t understand it." His voice breaks. "I don't understand how you can continuously, for months and months on end, hurt yourself when you are already the definition of perfection to me-"

"Well, I’m not that to Mom. Do you think I would be doing this if she thought that? Do you think I would put myself through this if she thought I was the ‘definition of perfection’?"

"You are the prettiest girl I have ever laid my eyes on-"

"You’re just saying that-"

"No. I’m not." You look away, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak.

Ross sighed. "Why did you never tell me?"

"Because you wouldn’t understand, Dad- you don’t understand."

He reaches out, his hands trembling as they rest on your shoulder. "I can try."

"It’s not that easy," you whisper, your voice barely audible, tears at a level 10.

Ross nods, his grip on your shoulder tightening slightly. "We need to get you help, Y/N."

"I know." Your voice is small, but in that moment, you realize it’s the first step towards healing.