#how did I ever end up looking this up no one knows
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
nomilkinmyteaplease · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Jared Harris and Jeff Bennett in 1982
Photo published by the Chronicle
16 notes · View notes
xxplastic-cubexx · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i didnt plan to spend my sunday this way
#xmen#xmen comics#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#'snap how do you keep finding yourself in these situations' I DONT KNOWWWWWWWW LISTEN TO ME#so all i did last night was draw erik in his lil robe from ToM cause my twitter was liking that old drawing i did#and then i woke up wanting to draw his stupid Lougne Wear when he's on the meteor yk the one Sanctuary From 92#so i started flipping through my 92 art book to find the ref for it then i just kept reading until i got to the end where i saw the#how they say 'anime influenced' designs and i had already wanted to draw charles' chari from that at some point#but THEEEEN I NOTICED HE HAD A LIL RING WITH A RED STONE ????#its on his right hand so Whatever but charles xavier you are not slick i know what you are ........#if i make that ring a staple in my classic charles drawings dont look at me itll depend on the weather tho tbh ANYWAYS#and then i remembered i had my old Cave Dweller Charles sketches from ever ago and i was like#'well i might as well finish those' but then i draw two more. and then i was like#'well since im here ive always wanted to draw charles in that robe erik gives him after saving him from the snow storm'#'in' is a very generous term it is falling OFF him but STILL#i should do something about that lil snow storm rescue now that ive mentioned it .. tho maybe i can tie it in with my 309 thing ..#SO FUNNY I WAS GONNA CONTINUE WORKING ON T HAT TODAY. AND NOW WE'RE HERE#this is what i mean guys its a nightmare and a miracle i can get anything done ever when i get distracted so easily#.i was gonna include another doodle of charles in his lil battle outfit but then i figured id done enough solo charles doodles today#anyways. plesae enjoy !!!!!!! i MUST objective charles more.....
284 notes · View notes
fatedroses · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
201 notes · View notes
lovesickeros · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself�� when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
211 notes · View notes
vaguely-humanoid-form · 23 days ago
Text
maybe I haven't been looking at the sky
post-sonic 3 fic about stone. stobotnik too. oh yeah baby it's time for some pain.
word count is a bit under 3.6k
featuring: grief like so much grief, lots of hurt, a smidgen of comfort, second-person narration, so many goddamn timestamps, did I mention hurt, acknowledgement of shadow the hedgehog being like an actual teenager, shadow the hedgehog being kind of like a weird cat, the smallest hint of sonadow, and, of course, hurt.
have fun! >:3
p.s.: the title is from Maud Gone by Car Seat Headrest because I like that song and it fits too well
June 24, 2024, 3:26 AM
You wake up.
You don't immediately open your eyes, though, because if you stay in the darkness, you can pretend that everything is alright. You can pretend that nothing's changed.
You can pretend he's still here.
You open your eyes.
It's still dark, and you can only just barely make out the hotel room ceiling above you.
You can hear the soft pitter-patter of the London rain against the window.
You spare a glance at the clock on the bedside table.
You know you won't be able to fall asleep.
Four hours of rest is enough, anyway.
You get up.
You take a shower.
Your reflection in the mirror seems to bore holes through your skull.
You brush your teeth, and you get dressed.
You work, because you have nothing else to do.
You go to get shitty hotel coffee and breakfast.
On instinct, you grab two cups.
You decide you don't want coffee anymore.
June 24, 2024, 12:58 PM
Your lunch is tasteless, and not just because it's British.
You think you would've laughed at that only 24 hours ago.
You don't think about if he would've.
You don't have much to work on.
Your hands itch. Everything feels so still. So static.
You try not to think about it. You try to think about anything else.
You think about how cold it is for a summer day.
You think about the smell of rain on the sidewalk.
You don't look at the sky.
You count your steps to fill your mind with something, anything.
It takes you precisely 673 steps to get back to your hotel from the lunch spot.
You don't think about how odd it feels to walk so slowly.
You don't think about how lonely you are.
You don't think about the Crab sunk in the Thames.
You don't think about him.
June 24, 2024, 7:31 PM
It's been 24 hours since it happened.
You feel empty.
You feel empty and sweaty and gross despite the wind chill and you shower again.
Your reflection stares at you again. It accuses you, blames you. It says it's your fault.
In its eyes, you can almost see something like him.
You cover the mirror.
You get yourself ready for bed, and you lay there under the hotel duvet, air conditioner blasting, and you shiver, but you don't get up to change it.
The Doctor prefers it cold, so–
You stare at the ceiling. It looks blurrier than usual.
You don't fall asleep for another few hours.
June 30, 2024, 1:08 PM
Montana is certainly better than London. At least, you'd say so.
It was a good idea to keep paying the lease on the Mean Bean. It's something you know.
You can't decide whether the familiarity makes you feel better or worse.
At least G.U.N. doesn't want anything to do with you, which you are more than welcome to.
Your “house,” if it can even be called that, what with its studio apartment style, in the back of the Mean Bean feels foreign to you, but the warmth feels nice.
The café stays cold.
You say it's to save money on the heating bill.
You were always good at pretending.
July 23, 2024, 4:23 PM
It's been exactly one month.
The hedgehog visits you today.
You know you should be plotting against him. You should be planning your revenge. You should be scheming to get rid of him once and for all–
But you're just so tired.
And in the end, he didn't want what happened, either.
He smiles at you as he orders a hot chocolate, but you can see the tightness in his face.
You bring up the other hedgehog, Shadow, and he falters for a moment.
You don't smile, not really, but your face softens as you come to an understanding.
You can't talk about him, but listening to Sonic talk about Shadow helps to dull the pain for a moment.
Before he leaves, Sonic gives you a sad smile, and tells you he's sorry about the Doctor.
Your throat closes up.
You stand still as the door opens and closes.
Your hands are shaking as you close.
August 16, 2024, 1:15 PM
Ever since he visited you the first time, Sonic has come back every other day for a hot chocolate and a chat.
The kid seems to always have something to say. You suppose he's hyperactive in many ways.
He's nice to you, and a part of you hates it, but you can't get yourself to get rid of the kid. Even if he says he stops by to check on how you're doing, you know it's helpful for him, too.
Deep down, you feel guilty for commiserating with the enemy. The guilt is something you opt to push down, though, because it makes you think of him.
You're interrupted when Sonic walks through the door with his human quasi-father in tow. Tom, you think his name is.
If you're honest, he looks like shit. His arm is in a cast and he's walking with a slight limp. The bags under his eyes are nothing to scoff at, either, but he gives you a soft smile.
He only orders a water, and drinks it slowly as Sonic chatters at his side about the shop.
You know he's been worried about Tom, and you're glad to see he's alright, but a twinge of resentment bites at you.
Why couldn't have you gotten a happy ending, too?
August 27, 2024, 1:00 PM
He's back again, and he brought his friends: the fox and the echidna.
You freeze for a moment when you see the fox. The conversation you had with him plays in the back of your mind and you relentlessly shoo it away.
The echidna is still annoying, but it's funny to see him order a shot of espresso and then immediately choke when he takes one sip.
When you're not trying to fight each other, they're good kids. You appreciate the effort they're making, at the very least.
It's nice to have noise to fill up the air. Helps quiet the thoughts a little bit, especially when the shop doesn't get much traffic these days.
Chatting with the alien children gives you something to do, too, since you can't do latte art anymore.
Your hands start shaking the moment you try.
So, you listen to them talk: teasing each other, making bad jokes, ranting about this or that.
When they leave, they all say goodbye, and while the silence is still suffocating, you're finding it slightly easier to breathe.
September 10, 2024, 8:01 AM
It's his birthday today, and you can't get yourself out of bed.
You can't even properly cry. Quiet tears roll down your face and stain your pillow.
You can't get back to sleep, either. You don't know if you would even want to. You don't know if you could bear to see his face in your dreams.
You stare at the brick wall, bare of photos or posters or plans, and you can't get yourself to look away.
September 10, 2024, 1:30 PM
The door to your “house” opens and you jump from your bed.
Team Sonic broke into your house.
You would be angry. You should be angry. But you can't muster up the energy.
Sonic says something that you don't register, and Knuckles proudly holds out a messily-made cupcake in front of him.
When you get a closer look…
Oh.
It's for the Doctor.
When you look up, Sonic is giving you that same sad smile he did the first time he came to the cafe. He says he knows how you've been going through a hard time, and that since today is the Doctor’s birthday, he wanted to do something special.
It takes everything in your being to not burst out sobbing in front of the kids.
You all sit around the cupcake and sing to it.
You falter on the name. They don't seem to mind.
You can't bear to eat any of the cupcake, so you stick it in the fridge.
The second those kids are out the door, you cry so hard you can barely stand.
September 12, 2024, 1:12 PM
Tails bursts through the shop door, startling you and the single customer sitting at a table in the corner.
He starts talking, so fast you can only make out a few words.
Before you can tell him to slow down, Sonic runs in after him, smiling brighter than the sun and presenting to you…
…Shadow?
You nearly short-circuit.
How is he alive?
You ask as much, and they all shrug their shoulders, minus Shadow who stands there staring at you without expression.
Apparently, Shadow has some sort of minor amnesia. He can't remember much immediately before…
Well.
But, still, he's alive.
And that sparks something deep in your chest.
You wouldn't dare to believe anything. You know he's… gone.
But a tiny, near molecular voice in the back of your head says what if?
And you can't give into it, but the voice, small as it is, nestles itself in between your cerebrum and cerebellum.
Back to reality, the alien children have decided that Shadow will stay with you.
Their home doesn't have the room for yet another anthropomorphic hedgehog in it, apparently.
You don't seem to have a say in the matter.
You can't say you mind too much.
September 12, 2024, 4:25 PM
You take him in and set up a futon in a clear area of your house.
You give him a tour, which really isn't much considering there are only two actual rooms.
He follows you around, nodding or shaking his head slightly whenever you ask him a question. He's quiet. Shy, even.
You make a simple dinner in silence, and he mumbles a thank you when you hand him his plate.
He falls asleep while you're working, and when you get a closer look at him…
…Did he always look that young?
Minus the 50 years he spent in stasis, he couldn't have been more than 15. Maybe 16, if you're being generous.
His brows furrow in his slumber, painfully familiar, and you're suddenly reminded of the fact that he is, in a way, a Robotnik.
You draw in a sharp breath and blink away the stinging in your eyes.
Maybe you'll sleep early.
September 23, 2024, 1:08 PM
Three months.
It's been three months since it happened, and the pain has only barely dulled.
You're starting to wonder if the coping mechanism of bottling everything up as much as you possibly can isn't working as well as you thought it would.
Shadow has opened up more, at least. He's still quiet and sometimes stares at you, wide-eyed and expressionless, but you've had a good few conversations with him.
You've shown him how to operate some of the coffee machines, even if he isn't quite tall enough to reach them very well on his own.
Every day you spend with him, the more it sets in just how young he is.
For the first week or two after… what happened, you resented him for being a part of it all. But now?
You just see a scared kid.
Team Sonic has been back to the Mean Bean a few times since Shadow arrived. He's incredibly socially awkward and is not one for idle chit-chat, but you've seen a hint of a smile on his face a couple times, and that's enough for you.
His memories have been returning slowly. Despite the voice screaming at you at every waking moment, you don't want to hold out hope. You don't want to be crushed again when the inevitable reality hits you that he is really gone.
You remember when it happened, when three months ago, you watched the Doctor dedicate his last words to you.
You remember going through every stage of grief and then some all at once.
You remember thinking you were done with that process, then, after it hit you like a freight train in all of 20 seconds.
You checked into a hotel, perfectly calm. You went up the elevator, fine. You unlocked the door to your room, ok.
Then you shut the door behind you and realized you'd accidentally gotten a room with two beds.
You remember the taste of bile at the back of your throat.
You blink and you're back where you were, alien children conversing at the counter in your coffee shop. You realize you've been holding the same empty mug and towel for a while.
When you set them down, your palm is indented from the fabric.
October 12, 2024, 2:00 PM
Shadow has warmed up to everything a lot more since he arrived last month.
You've seen him shoot back straight espresso like it was water, which drove Knuckles insane, and, for whatever reason, made you glow with pride.
He's slowly started asking for things directly: meals, things to do, what have you. You finally got to make that revenge guac for you both. It was great.
You had to try to not choke on it.
He's insanely excited for Halloween. It's refreshing to see him like this. He's usually a pretty doom-and-gloom type of guy, and there's a pain within him that you resonate with. But right now, he looks so happy, asking if you can decorate the cafe for the holiday. Of course, you do.
His memory is almost fully restored, too. You're happy about it, but it also instills an intense anxiety in you.
You aren't sure which situation it is that's making you feel like this.
Maybe both.
It'll be 4 months in a little under a week.
You don't think it's stopped hurting.
When you get a moment to be alone, it all comes rushing back at you, and suddenly you feel like you did when it first happened.
But the hurting isn't that bad all the time. Not anymore.
It settles in your chest when you're distracted by something, knocking on your ribs when you're reminded of it.
It's constant, like a bruise that just won't go away.
But it's manageable.
What is less manageable, however, is the voice.
Every day that passes, the voice gets louder, crawling further into your brain and making itself known.
Hell, it's even shown up in your dreams.
As annoying as it is, though, it makes you think about your grief beyond what you had been.
Whenever you have one of the dreams, you wake up and shower, and sit in the water and think.
Mostly, your brain has focused on his absence. The fact that he's… gone.
But, then you start to wonder.
Would this have happened if you'd told him? Would he be gone if he knew how you felt?
Would that have even changed anything?
You have to stop before you spiral too far. Asking questions is dangerous.
You convince yourself that it's just the shower water running down your cheeks, even if your eyes burn.
October 23, 2024, 1:02 AM
You wake up.
You don't immediately open your eyes, though, because if you stay in the darkness, you can pretend that everything is alright. You can pretend that nothing's changed.
You can pretend he's still here.
You open your eyes.
The room is not silent. Faraway thunder rumbles in the sky and Shadow lightly snores from where he sleeps.
It's four months now, and you've suddenly forgotten how to feel numb.
Your hypothesis about emotional suppression seems to be correct.
You sit up.
You stare at your hands.
You can't breathe.
At first, you think someone is trying to kill you. That's the obvious answer.
But then you feel the tear drop down to the tip of your nose.
And then you break.
You lose all sense of time as your vision is flooded. You hiccup between sobs and you know you've always been an ugly crier.
What makes it worse is when you feel a hesitant hand on your shoulder, and look over to see Shadow looking at you with so much concern and understanding.
You don't want to cry in front of him. You're meant to be strong for him, for this kid that you've grown closer to, for this kid that you want to take care of.
But when he reaches up to hug you, all you can do is fall apart on his shoulder. And you feel so bad, because no kid should ever have to be the one to comfort an adult, but the tears keep coming and you can't make them stop.
You don't know how long you sat there, weeping on him, when it seems the well has run dry.
You try to mutter an apology to him, but he gets up and walks away. You stare at nothing in front of you and curse yourself for making this child have to support you, but he comes back with a glass of water, averting his eyes nervously.
You think back to the first week he was here.
He'd had a nightmare and woke up screaming and crying. When you'd gone to comfort him, you brought him a glass of water.
You had awkwardly stuttered about how crying can be dehydrating in a sad attempt to make him feel better, social skills be damned, and it had worked.
That was the first time he'd really smiled at you.
And now he's doing the same for you.
He says something similar about water and dehydration and you can't entirely understand what he's saying, but you smile as best you can through the tears in your eyes and take the glass with a choked thank you.
He lights up at the affirmation, and you feel a warmth bloom in your chest as you realize that you are to Shadow as Tom is to Sonic.
You gently ruffle the top of Shadow's head, the corner of your mouth quirking up. He flusters at the action and tilts his head, almost like a cat, you think, sporting a ghost of a smirk.
You tell him you're alright now and to go back to bed, and you yourself fall asleep with the knowledge that you are this weird alien hedgehog’s weird quasi-father, and you don't mind it one bit.
October 31, 2024, 5:30 PM
Turns out Tom and Maddie made a costume for Shadow. Sonic had apparently told them about something Shadow said about it after one of his trips to the Mean Bean, and they'd decided to surprise him. Needless to say, he was ecstatic. Others may not have registered the level of happiness he was at, but you know Shadow.
You know your boy.
Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails somehow convinced Shadow to go trick-or-treating with them. You encouraged him, too. He seemed a bit nervous, and even sort of embarrassed, but he ultimately agreed, smiling as he waved goodbye to you.
This was the first time in a while that you've been really alone. The pain starts to catch up to you and for a moment, you feel incredibly empty. Your throat begins to tighten.
You take a deep breath as the grief curls up once more, resting for the moment. It makes you cold.
You make yourself a simple latte and draw a little jack-o'-lantern on the top. Your hands still shake, but it's not too much to deal with.
You doubt anyone else will come into the shop. You already planned to close early for Halloween, and the sign at the front tells as much to any prospective customers.
You turn to begin dealing with the back counter, cleaning the machines and putting things back to where they belong. You've grown fond of the routine.
Then you hear the door open, and turn around to see Shadow running into the shop. His eyes are bright, brighter than you've ever seen them.
He tells you that he remembers everything now. He says, excited—God, it makes you happy to see him excited—that his memory is back and he can tell you what happened to–
The door opens again.
You look up.
He's there.
He's alive.
You stand there for a moment, completely still, completely silent.
You almost scream.
You leap over the counter, running and tackling him in the tightest hug you've ever given anyone.
He smells horrible. Like smoke and sulfur and dirt and grime and he's alive and he's holding onto you just as strong as you are and the voice is cheering and exploding into fireworks in your brain and the pain squeezes your heart in its hands and he's alive.
You don't even notice when the tears begin to fall. You only notice his pulse, alive, his breath, alive, his arms around you, alive, alive, alive.
When you finally pull back after what feels like both an eternity and a millisecond, you get a look at his face, and you put it in your hands and holy shit he is alive.
He looks absolutely disheveled and it's possibly the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and then he smiles, wide, genuine, warm, so rare, so real, and then he leans forward and kisses you and you can't think anymore.
He tastes awful and you've never loved him more than you do now.
49 notes · View notes
fear-no-mort · 1 year ago
Text
i cant get over the whole time in the real world rick just sat there watching over morty and when he woke up finally rick sounded SO happy the way he just yelled his name excitedly the second he woke up,,,
191 notes · View notes
milfbrainrot · 3 months ago
Text
thank you loris for serving ur entire purpose of having vi briefly hallucinate vander in ur place
21 notes · View notes
cuteniaarts · 2 months ago
Text
Hey 🗑️🔥 gang (@katkastrofa @rokurookajima @shadelorde)…
Tumblr media
Heard you guys like feral women 😏😏😏
#yes this is directly inspired by Syd and Nightmare’s recent animalistic Raava pieces#I’m sorry if you expected something related to the spirit kites but I’m obsessed with my OCs first and foremost#and Suiren is already very feral in most verses. the mermaid AU just adds a biological factor to it#but actually. fun fact. she doesn’t even look as feral as she would be were she a full mermaid#(yeah I’m spoiler alert that’s not really a spoiler given that I drew a lot for this AU last year and already gave it away. Ghazan’s human)#(meaning Suiren’s only half mermaid. I’ve never drawn her in this AU but I imagine Ming-Hua looking ever more monster like)#(bc I dislike when mermaids are just pretty girls with fish tails. give me FANGS and CLAWS and SCALES and GILLS and FINS)#(so yeah. Ming-Hua has a lot more scaled and also dorsal fins running higher up her back. and a more dexterous tail. I should draw her)#but I hope the vibe still comes across. with the blood and all 😁#was it a fish she ate or a too curious human? that’s for me to know and for you to find out#ANYWAY!! some new headcanons about my mermaids based on what you guys said about human Raava:#my mermaids don’t inherently know human language. their underwater communication sounds similar to whale singing#above water it’s more of a chirping noise? though more elongated and melodic than a dolphin’s. something between a trill and a whine#and most don’t have the capacity to speak human language. but sirens have unique vocal chords that allow the siren spell to work#it’s similar to a parrot’s. they’re very good at mimicry. it’s an evolutionary hunting tactic#but they also have more developed brains than a parrot’s therefore can not only mimic but consciously speak#though it takes time to master. like a foreign language#am I implying that when Mingzan met as kids they couldn’t understand each other and Ghazan taught her to speak human? yes. yes I am#because I’m a sucker for language barriers and think that scenario is adorable. fucking sue me.#and obliviously Suiren was taught both mermaid and human. but it was Midori who helped her keep up her knowledge#(look I don’t have that part plotted out yet but Something happens to their parents and they’re left on their own. as a parallel to SotRL)#(also btw Midori was born without a tail but still not quite human. she has scales and gills and ear fins and fangs and glowing eyes)#(and no one but Suiren and Haya know about all that. Haya makes her hide it and convinces her that she’s a half fish freak :/)#(at least.. until a certain Beifong with an interest in marine biology comes along…)#(yes Green Opal in this verse are the epitome of ‘there are many benefits to being a marine biologist’)#how did I end up talking about Midori. anyway. yes I made both Kuvira and Ghazan monsterfuckers. no I’m not ashamed#my art#artists on tumblr#Nia’s mermaid AU#sotrl suiren
17 notes · View notes
ask-carson-real · 2 months ago
Text
Fucked up how an adult can make a simple benign poor choice of words one time and give a child a complex forever
#at this one teacher#where are you now teacher#were you ever aware that ur choice gave me crippling self hate and shame for years to come#did you ever know it was even a poor choice of words and that it was bad? or did you never think o it again#like tell me#YOU NECER SPOKE TO ME ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING#would you have???? did you ever want to?!? I’ll never know#i don’t even remember what u look like it ur name but I remember sitting at the beach at 11 years old thinking about how I was#was too dirty and evil to be a woman and that I had let all women down#that I was a monster#i remember my stupid ex friend couldn’t even be ducking nice to me one ducking time about it either#i don’t remember what the class was about but I remember looking at the other girls and feeling like an ogre who didn’t deserve to be in#their presence#i know this incident was not the root of these issues and probably just a catalyst but it sticks out as easy to remember for some reason#i know you were a psychology/PSHE teacher and would end up preaching mental health to us in a lecture many years later#i wanted to take psychology for my GCSEs because I was really interested (and good at it I think)#but you were the only teacher for it so I didn’t take it#i remember at parents evening my mum and I sat opposite you and we talked about how I wanted to do psychology#but I declined and refused to tell anyone why#it was because you were the teacher and I felt ashamed#you couldn’t have known but I kind of wish you’d asked me why I changed my mind or at least something#instead you just looked at me as if you knew#but said nothing. AS IF YOU AGREED#THAT I WAS BAD.#so that settled it#you made it clear to me you meant what you said#and there was no point in me trying to fix it#so I never took psychology#i think I could have been so good at it#do YOU
12 notes · View notes
skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
Text
Hey do you remember all those videos of Fernando smelling flowers? Haha yeah....
Tumblr media
#posting this both while im asleep and after whatever bee event ends up happening#so who knows what will happen! will we get nothing? will we get eye contact? will we possibly get an interaction? its a surprise!!#anyways this is basically me hearing about seb's bee event and he said the drivers will be there#me deep in my vettonso brainrot: OH MY GOD THEY'RE GONNA BE IN THE SAME VICINITY#will be so funny for me if when i wake up i find out fernando didnt even go 😭#but we remain hopeful 🙏#also this is just very funny to me bcs like both seb and fernando have very specifc quirks#and what are two of their specific quirks? seb and his bee thing. fernando and his flower thing from this season#so this fanart is perfect y'know 🥰🥰🥰#also screeching over how this is the first canon au drawing ive ever drawn. ive literally never drawn non-au until now 💀💀💀#okay and now some horrible jokes thay happened during the process of this:#thesis of this drawing: whats Fernando gonna do? Pollinate him? 😏#C. why did you have to make me think of bees that produce sex pollen 😭😭 this is gonna haunt me forever. but also vettonso post-japan fic-#and then also the barry benson thing. im like what do humanized bees look like and then realized 'oh no....oh no.'#fernando to seb at the bee event: 'ya like samurais...?' SORRY 😭#also having to pick the colors from one of my historical au drawings was haunting. just the sheer difference btwn them yknow......#anyways please take my old men yaoi. took a break from historical yaoi to draw this 😭😭😭😭#this is my peak vettonso fanart cannot improve from here. also a fever dream#vettonso#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.art.#*not gonna edit the tags bcs i like the time capsule of it all but like. yeah. we were fed.#*catie from 2 hours prior(atm its 3 am) would be so pleased right now i think
131 notes · View notes
a-gay-bloodmage · 2 months ago
Text
Care to Join Us For Some Tea?
(Emmrich Volkarin & Sascha Ingellvar)
Rook is a very strange creature, always keeping to the shadows of the Lighthouse like a timid ghost. It isn't until Emmrich recalls a strange encounter, three decades past and in the depths of the Grand Necropolis, that he begins to understand what made Sascha Ingellvar into the man he is today.
Read Here!
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#original content#emmrich volkarin#da rook#sascha ingellvar#ao3#this was a fun (painful) one to write#I've mentioned it before but I work in a school and that involves working with all kinds of kids AND adults#And the process of “child has tendency to run- one adult talks to other adult- one tries to deal with the child- one documents behavior”#is one that I know pretty well at this point#by the time of datv Sascha is 36 years old and has Developed past where he was at 6 but he's still... the child they found in the tombs#He's always going to be strange and echoy and socially awkward and unsure who it's Safe to be around#he just really really really needs a place to Belong and I feel like he'll be able to find that in the Lighthouse amongst the Veilguard#sorry if I bring up anyone's worst memories of being in Special Ed and not treated well by the overworked staff in there#And I'm really happy with how I ended up writing Emmrich and his POV#According to QoAM I did really well#I feel like people know Emmrich very well as he is in-game so I wanted to explore him in his younger days before he's as Established#not just as a Mourn Watch but as someone who is more willing to stand up for what's right and- especially- someone who loves children#I think of all the people I knew in their teens who Hated kids who have softened more and more as they got older and more mature#I certainly don't think Emmrich ever hated children (he's always been Soft) but I feel like it's more of a “how patient am I?”#Like I look at Manfred and how he also Echoes and Mimics and I'm like. Yeah. That's like my little special ed kids.#Emmrich you would be PERFECT in the life skills room I wanna go run Coffee Cart with you that would be great#anyway happy birthday Sascha!! So sorry that your childhood was so fucking awful and you spent your sixth birthday like This#Tumblr not linking to ao3 makes me want to kill this site#Birthday Fic
7 notes · View notes
lord-squiggletits · 7 months ago
Text
As much as I'm a Pharma apologist he is genuinely an asshole who acts completely unrepentant so something I think about for an eventual Pharma redemption fic is like. How do you write a redemption for a severely traumatized guy whose coping mechanism is to act like he doesn't care and the people who need to accept him don't like/care about him enough to go "hey it's okay everyone gets a second chance" and/or "wow Pharma is so radically different what caused that change."
But also like it's really hard to help someone who has no desire to/refuses to be helped and makes himself deliberately unpleasant to be around so like idk
#in the end i think what it comes down to is no one asked WHY#no one looked at pharma's before and after and went 'how did that happen'#even when other ppl talk about pharma's change it's always in such like a. passive way#'before he went mad and started killing patients' yeah and what made him go mad exactly?#everyone just kinda talks about pharma like 'yeah he used to be great then he started killing people'#i know he's a minor character but LITERALLY NO ONE ASKS WHY#and like let me emphasize multiple people say 'for most of his life he was a good doctor' or something#no one was like 'yeah i always knew pharma was a piece of shit'#(besides ratchet telling him he was always a terrible autobot but i think that was a heat of the moment thing)#pharma apologism#like it's just absurd how everyone goes 'yeah pharma went insane. pity' but no one ever brings up why#i know it's just authorial accidentally writing a deep character but not having time to acknowledge it#but like when i think of in universe explanations for why the autobots would be like this#the only explanations are that ppl either already hated pharma (not supported by evidence)#or that the autobots just really hate traitors. which seems more likely given like. how getaway was treated#this is basically the one time i understand autobot slander bc when i think about it i'm kinda like#yeah the average autobot is kind of sanctimonious and thinks ppl less moral than them are pieces of shit#whereas to contrast the decepticons are kind of just not concerned about morality and more about their dogma#accidental cross faction comparison in the notes
17 notes · View notes
daemon-in-my-head · 3 months ago
Text
ALSO since it's winter and my innate need to be a nerd about music and browse music stores for new beautiful guitars I can never afford (3k custom order aahahahahahahah kill me cuz thats still cheap) is back I've been thinking.
Nr 1:
Gort strikes me as an organ girlie. But at the same time it would suit Durge much much more. Raphael lost his organ rights by being such a lenient little man at times. Like you play that instrument with your whole ass body. Big pipe organs are literally part of a house foundation. It's a massive and breathtaking instrument that's just absolutely insane and the tunes it produces are godly. It's also so inventive like, bro the instrument is a fucking house. Oppressive as hell. Thats Gort. That's just the mecha megalomaniac. But then its also positively divine and often related to faith. And its a lot of harmonies and shit mixed together like the Bhaalspawn r and it's rly just a blood sweat and tears kinda thing and it's just giving Durge vibes yk?
Nr 2:
This is probably exclusive to me but uh, modern Band AU whatever would have Gort play an e guitar and be capable of absolutely insane riffs and also probably frontman if we're honest while Durge plays classical guitar. And I have my reasons for believing that cuz not only r guitars awesome and very versatile instruments that can produce both melodies and chords by themselves the e guitar / classic mix also has this rly weird just durgetash dynamic. There are harmonies but there's also chaos and both are capable of being gentle and soft in their own ways but they're also played fundamentally different and usually take a different role but both are still very capable of breathtaking solos and I'm just being a fucking nerd on main rn and will shut up before I pull out my music theory power point.
10 notes · View notes
tittyinfinity · 2 months ago
Text
contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk
#.bdo#i just need to work on some insecurity issues is all. been on a long self journey this year#can't shake the feeling that every time i say anything it's wrong somehow#and there is some reality to that. i have been wrong several times I've even been downright mean to people over misunderstandings#i just haven't been able to break out of the habit of feeling permanently embarrassed about every small mistake I've ever made#& old insecurities from my childhood are resurfacing#like when i was a kid/teen and no one would ever tell me when i was breaking social cues but they'd make fun of me behind my back#i have 3200 followers and most of my posts get 0 notes sometimes i get 1-5 so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong#i end up deleting a lot of them...#almost every post of mine that's gone viral was just a screenshot or picture saved from somewhere else....#and the times that i have gotten attention over a post that stands up for people who aren't like me it makes me terrified#that i look like i'm trying to play a savior role or like i'm virtue signaling#i have a few good mutuals who i love so much and that's why I'm still here#it's also the only social media i use currently#but it does really hurt when i put a lot of thought into something like spending hours making a funny meme or a thoughtful post#just to find out that the only people who find them interesting is my extremely small circle on here if anyone at all#it's so dumb i shouldn't be feeling like this over fucking numbers....it's not even real#i find a little bit of (petty) solace in the fact that there are people on here who are loudly and repeatedly saying way more embarrassing#shit than I've ever said#but even then when i know someone is absolutely wrong it makes me feel nervous like what if im the next person to fuck up that bad#and i find out through public ridicule#well that actually kinda did happen on here once but not on that scale#last year i sent someone something i thought was funny and they sent back an 'ok'#and then immediately made a huge long post about how you shouldn't talk to strangers like you're already friends#called it parasocial behavior...got tens of thousands of notes and i knew it was about me...#i wholeheartedly agree some people go too far with parasocial behavior but i never fully understood what part of what i said/did was wrong#and i went back to feeling like the kid who never found out they were doing something wrong until they heard that they got made fun of#i don't even attempt to make new friends on my own on here anymore because i'm terrified of that happening again#almost all of the people I've become friends with on here came to me first and i love and appreciate them for that#but even then i feel too nervous to socialize that often bc i never find out/realize that i fuck up until later on
10 notes · View notes
bunnyboy-juice · 4 months ago
Text
spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
11 notes · View notes
sskk-manifesto · 3 months ago
Text
--
#Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#Mmmmmhhh#I had to step away and do something very quick after watching the episode so now I'm afraid I forgot all of it lol#Okay thoughts:#I'm afraid I'll keep saying this every time. Do not. Give me. An amv opening. Don't do that. Postpone your airing date. I don't care#I feel like I wasn't as pissed with it when they did that for s3 but it's probably a case of the s3 opening at least looked somewhat–#better (??) + you can make a mistake once but don't think I will let it slip a second time#Other than that... To be fair this episode was animated fairly well. I think you can really notice a big quality drop after the–#Ranpo-realizing-who-Kamui-is sequence but overall it's more than okay.#The colours of the ship irk me a little but to be fair I never thought colours were b/sd anime strong point...#This episode was sooooooo political in so many ways I could literally talk about it for hours#(don't test me I'm not kidding. Talking about politics in anime for hours is something I've done in the past and will do in the future.)#(Then again I study/think/breathe politics pretty much 24/7 so is that really surprising... )#I need to write an essay on Fukuchi's speech alone. The public speech communication techniques [redacted Italian politics comment].#The way he's welcomed [redacted eu parliament comment]. Unfortunately I don't have time for it but breaking it down very quickly#1. Suggesting to unify defences worldwide is INSANE. No one would ever take it. Probably going to be cynical here but there's one (1) thing#states care about and it's the independence of their own sovereignty (that is: no one has the right to come and tell what must be done–#within one's borders). Eu has been trying to do exactly that (unify defences) for decades to no avail. Nato is on the brink of crumbling–#down. It's just... Such a distant perspective from how the world works right now? Idk.#Which brings me to 2. Even if it's deeply inconsistent with how world politics work the bsd un perspective is still very coherent with–#a latter thesis brought up in the manga that is “countriest tend to merge and come together” which is. Very anti-historical if you ask me–#but idk. Beautiful to imagine I suppose.#What else uhm... I liked the drawings this episode... Even Atsushi was back being pretty at some points... (Generally not really a fan of–#what the style in the later seasons came to be). Also 55 Minutes reference ‼‼‼#I like Fukuchi's character so much......... I love idealist characters... And the inherent loneliness... The longing... The yearning!!!!!!#I love him so. Oh and I LOVED Akutagawa. I thought his entrance wouldn't have impacted me after all this time (and after knowing–#what episode 3 will be lol). And yet it was such an emotional moment!!!! What do you mean Atsushi is scared to be alone and Akutagawa is–#coming for him!!!!!! I'm crying all my tears. And Akutagawa was so cool in the end!!! By heart was beating so fast!!!!!#It's the etheral blurred light...#The way he still manages to come off so cool despite being inherently pathetic is nothing short to miraculous
7 notes · View notes