#how am i worthy of love

[jus-de-poire]

chase me

dear god, hunt me down.

let your fangs sink in.

i won't wince.

i'd be lying if i said i didn't like the pain.

it grounds me.

it seems like the only thing that tethers me to this vessel anymore:

the hurt.

i yearn to be devoured, i think.

to be dragged back to a lair,

limp,

eyed with hunger and desire.

devour me, please?

i long to feel something other than this hole within.

hurt me so i can know something else;

i'll be the tiger's chew toy.

[a-most-beloved-fool]

One of the lines in TOS that drives me the most crazy is in The Man Trap, when Spock is in command of the Enterprise. A death on the landing party is reported, and Uhura, upset that Spock doesn't display an emotional reaction, challenges him and reminds him that the death could be Captain Kirk. "He's the closest thing you've got to a friend," she says.

And that always sticks out to me.

It paints Spock as a pretty tragic figure, doesn't it?

Like - and this is disregarding new canon, sorry Disco and SNW I'm ignoring you - Spock is kind of implied to be, well. Pretty much alone. Kirk, his brand new captain, at that point, is the closest thing he has to a friend. We know that Spock was on the Enterprise before Kirk's Captaincy, and we know he was at least somewhat close to Pike in that time, but by that point Pike is disabled enough to barely be able to communicate, and it doesn't seem like Spock was close to anyone else on Pike's enterprise - at least no one who stuck around.

He's estranged from his family. Maybe he kept contact with Amanda, but frankly I can't imagine they were calling often. He has an unwilling fiancee who he has no real relationship with. He never seems to (willingly) date, wh He knew Leila Kalomi at some point, but it's blatantly obvious both that they haven't kept in touch and that Kalomi's interest in him makes Spock fairly uncomfortable, so she doesn't count. Am I missing anybody?

And then Kirk comes, and takes over the Enterprise, and, from the very start, looks at Spock with kindness and affection. Wouldn't that be. fucking life-changing? Kirk comes and, in a matter of weeks, single-handedly changes the entire trajectory of Spock's life, simply by liking him. Y'know?

It's genuine, too. It's not like Kirk is just playing nice for the sake of the command team. He's just - fond of Spock. Really, properly fond of him.

And it's more than a bit overwhelming for him, especially because he likes Kirk just as much as Kirk likes him, and he hasn't experienced that before, either. It's wildly obvious how important Kirk becomes to him from his words and actions throughout the show; from "when I feel friendship for you, I feel ashamed," in The Naked Time; to believing in Kirk's innocence when all evidence was against him in Court Martial; to breaking through the blood fever to beg T'Pau to forbid Kirk's participation, and also his smile in Amok Time; to Spock jumping in the path of a poison flower in The Apple; and on and on. It's obvious to the viewer, and it's just as obvious to other characters in the show. Spock treasures Kirk and his friendship.

Idk. I'm just regularly blown away by how astoundingly impactful Kirk was on Spock. From the very moment they meet, they're both irrevocably changed. Two halves of a whole indeed! I can understand how it would frighten Spock enough to make him flee to Kolinahr, unused to the sheer emotion brought on by Kirk, and I can understand how it would be compelling enough to cause him to return.

[bakudekublogblog]

talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi

[weezerlvr228]

i love this photo sm they’re so cutie

[sunnykeysmash]

[kiwiplaetzchen]

Sorry little one, hope he didn’t hurt your tealness. Here’s something for you 🍞

Nosy was having a perfectly fine day, thank you very much - until that happened.

It started innocently enough. The little Niffler was up to his usual shenanigans, skulking behind a long curtain that swayed gently in the breeze - a perfect hideout for his shenanigans - when a grey-striped menace dared to hiss at him. Hiss?! At Nosy?! The audacity!

Nosy let out a defiant honk, his teal fur bristling in indignation. Who did that furball think he was dealing with? He reached out, ready to teach the cat a lesson in respect. But the cat lunged first, swiping a paw dangerously close to Nosy’s snout.

"HEY! Come away from there!" a voice suddenly barked. The striped terror was scooped up by a tall figure before Nosy could react. He watched, wide-eyed, as the young wizard scolded the feline with a stern "Tsk."

Nosy let out a disgruntled honk, wobbling closer to inspect the situation. Good riddance, he thought smugly, satisfied that the intruder had been dealt with appropriately. His victory was short-lived, however. The human had barely set the cat down when he turned his attention to the teal-furred troublemaker.

The boy crouched, placing a slice of bread in front of the Niffler. Nosy’s eyes sparkled as he stared at the offering: a piece of toast, thickly spread with glistening red jam. His tail started to wiggle as he edged closer, cautiously sniffing the treat.

“Sorry, little one,” the wizard said gently. “Hope he didn’t hurt your tealness. Here’s something for you.”

Nosy tilted his head at the dark-haired boy, weighing the sincerity of the apology. But he jam glistened so temptingly in the light that, after a very short moment, Nosy decided he would graciously accept this peace offering. Waddling forward, he snatched the jammy treat in his paws with an approving chirp and started to nibble the sweet snack, crumbs sticking to his beak, he cast a look back at the feline now glaring at him from afar.

Victory is sweet, Nosy thought, wiggling his tail in triumph and stuck out his little tongue at the cat.

[melmedarda]

I was talking with my friend about Mel because I was very deeply in my Mel feelings the other day. And I was saying, Mel is so full of love but she doesn't know how to share that part of herself, express that part of herself without feeling weak. And that is so sad because she cannot receive love and care like she should. Like she deserves. I think about it, and up to that point where she met Jayce and fell in love with him, did she ever know love as something that wasn't a weakness? Something that wasn't transactional? And my friend made such a good point that Mel likely suffers from abuse survivor mentality. That she thinks love as something transactional is normal, because that was what her mother had shown her and that becomes her normal.

And that's such a good point. She didn't know what she was missing because she knew nothing else. That sort of love, of interaction, was the norm; it was Ambessa's creed. The only thing she knew, her worldview. Because she thinks that based on what she's seen of her family, of Piltovan nobility, everyone takes and uses others, even if they care for them. And then to meet Jayce who is so earnest and wants nothing from the world, but wants to give so much to better it. It's no wonder she falls in love with him.

But then imagine how she must have felt when she gave herself to him, and slept with him, but woke to find him gone. The one time she bares herself to someone. Puts herself out there, knowing that he can turn her down, turn her away. But he didn't, and yet he is gone. She must have thought he had used her because he wanted her money, her body. And now that he had gotten what he wanted, he left. She must have thought he was like everyone else. It's no wonder she was so angry. And then once again Jayce shows his heart, his selfless concern for others, and she knows she's right about him. He is someone she can trust. Someone she can love without reservation, and I believe Jayce is helping Mel to do that.

[agirlwithglam]

★ stop giving your attention, energy and time to everyone. ★

- a vent

if i don't want or need to talk to someone, then i wont. simple as that. why do i need their attention or to please them anyway? lol.

cus like bitch if you don't like me, # i don't care xoxo. you have a nice life n i hope you heal tho. sometimes i find it kinda funny that people go out of their way to hate on someone likeee??? huh ??? the rule is: happy people don't hate. thats just how it works. if you were *genuinely* happy with who you are, what you have, etc. then why on earth would want to bring another person down?? the logic ain't logic-ing!

and also if im genuinely not that fond on you anyway, aka if you don't add value or make me feel better in any way, why on earth would i need or want to speak to you? bc i love love love people who love and cherish me as a person. (but tbh why wouldn't they love me duh). okay?

queens don't beg jokers to stay in their lives. <- this this this!!

so if you don't add any value to my live (adding value can mean a lot of things- knowledge, wisdom, stories, happiness, good memories, being there for me, listening, etc.) then you REALLY don't deserve the full me cus you clearly can't handle me. and you know what? thats okay! thats completely okay. you are your own responsibility, i am my own responsibility. ♡you do you, i do me♡ !!

so basically, my attention, time & energy (and no i dont mean energy in a spiritual way) is sacred. if u can't appreciate what i bring, then you won't be getting anything from me. because every hot, unbothered, cold girl, is a girl who was desperate for others to like her and would get hurt easily.

im not saying that im gonna become mean and ignorant (cus thats just kinda-icky😬), what im saying is that im going to stop trying so hard to do what i once would have killed myself doing. i am no longer a joke, and im going to start taking myself serious now. and once i start doing that, its over for all you bitches. i am going into my iconic and girlboss era.

i am officially done trying.

xoxo, Vanilla

[whentherewerebicycles]

nothing gives you insight into what parenting styles produce what types of kids like college essay coaching!! I feel like within 30 min of talking to a kid you can tell exactly what their parents chose to value/center in raising them… and you can also tell whether they’re going to have a rocky or reasonably smooth transition to adulthood as a result. if you were wondering the kids who are happiest and most secure in themselves tend to have parents who:

are warmly interested in their kid’s interests and engaged in their lives but give them LOTS of space/autonomy to explore those interests on their own and are in no hurry to rush in to “fix” things for their kid

communicate respect for their child and trust in their child’s ability to make good decisions and handle their own shit responsibly. it’s kinda wild how much pride kids take in their parents trusting them!! maybe you the parent don’t always get to see that (I assume that even teenagers who have good relationships with their parents are still teenagers lol) but as an outside person working with your kid, it is so so obvious that kids know when their parents trust them and derive a lot of self-esteem from being worthy of that trust. it is also painfully obvious when the parent can’t let go or trust their kid, so the kid internalizes a strong sense of “they expect me to fail/fuck up and they are just waiting for it to happen.”

encourage kids to try lots of different things and to derive fulfillment from the experience of doing things instead of external awards

treat and speak about others with empathy and respect. the kindest kids are the most secure kids and the most secure kids are the kindest. let your kids see you consistently interact lovingly and generously with others!! if they hear you constantly critiquing, tearing down, nitpicking, complaining, etc they seem to internalize an uneasy, insecure sense that this is how others must perceive them and they become soooo much more closed-off, guarded, risk-averse, unsure of themselves, and vulnerable to shaming or being shamed

set high standards for their kids in terms of doing well in school and committing to their activities, but make it very clear that these things are not a “means to an end” (get good grades to get into a good college) but are about learning how to work hard, persevere through difficulties, honor the commitments you’ve made to others, and develop a strong, grounded sense of self-esteem. honestly the kindest thing you can do for your teenager is to make it super clear that it does not matter where they go to college because you are so warmly confident in their ability to thrive wherever they end up

model having warm, loving relationships as an adult with friends and extended family. just in general the happiest kids are the kids who are surrounded by people who love them, listen to them, and are invested in their well-being!! the kids who, when you ask them to tell you about their closest relationships, spontaneously talk about people who aren’t just their immediate family but also their aunts and uncles, grandparents, family friends, beloved teachers or coaches, etc

[kyurochurro]

Frankie Stein!! ⚡ Part 1 of 3 for my 2023 Howl-o'ween Monster High Series!! 🎃 >:)

(Draculaura and Clawdeen are next!! Stay tuned for them, I'll link them on this post later on when they're done!)

[xcziel]

has anybody else thought about how jk could easily manage sofia's parts of slow dance or is it just me?

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

I love the original Cars 2006 game so much. The one that got released on like GameCube and Xbox. I mean, I love all the Cars games(Cars 3 Switch game they did you dirty), but that's an entire story for another time giving my individual appriciation for all of them later. What I'm going to say here applies pretty well to the other games that are centered around the first movie as well like Race-O-Rama and Maternationals, but I'm specifcally rewatching the original one's cutscenes again because I don't want to restart my data every time I wanna go through the cutscenes again(even though I enjoy playing it so, so much), and I just love the atmosphere in it so much. Some of my favorite movie scenes are the ones where they don't have any music playing because I love to close my eyes and turn up the volume and just.. pretend I am right there with the characters and right next to them and stuff or that they're talking to me or such, and that is extra immersible when there isn't an entire orchestra going on(not that I am knocking at having music at all, I regularly go back and listen to the soundtracks from movies if they have them posted).

And the game doesn't really have any music at all during any of the cutscenes and the whole thing is like super..soft to me? Not soft as in like fluffy pillows and pink aesthetic soft, but soft as in like it's getting late out and so you're trying to be kinda hushed with your voice and there's not really anywhere you have to be so you slow down your pace and kick a couple of pinecones or rocks. If that makes any sense at all. Cause normally movies or shows(whether the whole series or each individual episode) have a certain plot or arc that is happening that everyone is focused on and consumes the whole thing, give or take a few moments. And while this game does have a particular thing so it can have a start and end to the story of the game, everything is framed in like a "Yeah, this is what they get up to in their freetime." And I don't know if you know but I love my slice of life stuff so sooooooo so so infinitely much. So getting to get that sort of content is really fun and perfect for me. It's like you're just actively hanging around them and getting caught up in whatever typical nonsense they end up in(assuming we are ignoring the whole monster truck bit), and the "OH THINGS ARE. HITITNG THE FAN." Or bigger development moments are saved for like the movies or something or whatever comes up in my head.

I'm not really entirely headed anywhere with this, I just wanted to put out some appriciation for the game and how nice the atmosphere is. I think it's also cause I really love getting to just sit and here them talk and there is a lot of casual conversation that happens and just plain dialog. Like it's not even filler dialog it's just talking and chatting. And I spend a stupid silly amount of time listening to voiceline compilations on YouTube so this is just the bees knees for me.

Thank you for the read though, may I offer you with a clip because APPERENRLY there's a limit to one clip per post that I am just now finding out about. I think I've already talked about the Litnig one anyway. Maybe I'll post it again later.

I uuuuguguhhh also perfectly reached the tag limit. If anyone needs anything to do in their freetime while bored or as a filler may I suggest reading this post and it's tags, you will be occupied for a while IFNFJCJFNS. I was half joking about reaching the tag limit as well. Well, we all saw it coming, it was going to have to happen one day. And go figure after a long absence that I was going to have it in me to do some running of my mouth...

I do want to say I am probably back now yall! Knock on wood- but I think the reign of my absence is over! Which I am especially hoping so for several reasons but also because I am so SO not done milking F/Ovember to its full extent. I spent too many months looking forward to that to not invest and rot my blog with it.

[evereverest2]

i like that half of my drabbles notes are just comments from the same three people who i always respond to shoutout to u guys ur adorable

anyway. little monster part 6 later today. only bc i felt bad for teasing too much. and certainly not bc im so fucking excited u have no idea

[licorishh]

"The Bible is so sexist blah blah blah" okay. When it talks about how you can avoid doing stupid things in Proverbs it uses a man in its examples and personifies wisdom as a woman though which I think is pretty funny

[hippy-little-titty-witch]

It’s long, busy, stressful days like today that I think about how nice it will be when the time comes and I have a lovely partner waiting for me at home with dinner without my even asking—simply because he knows how much I’d appreciate it after hearing about my day on the phone while I’m commuting back

I don’t know when that time will come, but I know it will

because I deserve that

because I’m worthy of that

because less than that isn’t enough for me

because that’s how I need to be loved

[boxwinebaddie]

hey uncle nina do u happen to have that one para where u talked abt how jersey couldn't say ily during sbst and stan was like super sad abt it? i tried looking for it on ur blog but i can't find it</3

t-the...

tHE DIVORCE PARA???>?@?@?@?3/2/

YOU WANT THE FUCKDISNFN DIVORCE PARA????!!!?!?!

noooooOOOOOOoOooOo!!!!!!!!! :'(

i......Siiiigh.

goddamnit, guys. what happened to 'we hope you heal, uncle nina!' wAS IT NOT ENOUGH THAT I DIED ONCE??? I GOTTA DIE TWICE?!

but....because i love you very much, i will link it for you.

edit: oh god, i am reading it rn and it is soooo rough, i'm am so sorry. cringe. goofy aa. oof. later today, i might reopen it and just so we can suffer i will have it start mid sbst ( which, assumes i can write the smut which, no promises ) and then have it end with ravenstan leaving ( fuuuck lmao, like that fight does not even end there, we're in H-E-L-L holy shit ) because i hate my life but...anyways....

without further ado,

Please Enjoy The WORST

( and i do mean THE /WOOOORST/ )

Part Of Your Day...Maybe Your Life.

-uncle nina, who is going to request a lobotomy at her doctors appointment to forgot the divorce happened.