#because we know what happens when those two get together - they lose track of time everything else fades away

[xcziel]

has anybody else thought about how jk could easily manage sofia's parts of slow dance or is it just me?

[who-is-page]

I've seen (typically older) therians talking about how they feel that their subculture as animal-people and nonhumans is slowly disappearing. This is a point that, in all honesty, I'm inclined to agree with-- although I think I'd perhaps frame it less as "disappearing" and more as just "changing."

Because let's be honest with ourselves here: is the subculture actually vanishing, or is it just evolving into radical new dimensions as excited newbies join and find different focal points for their nonhumanity? As they express themselves in whole new dimensions and ways, as they explore a digital landscape that didn't exist ten, twenty years ago? As the older members lose touch with the newer members, and no one bridges that gap between the two?

I think I'm also extra frustrated because when I see these discussions go down, a lot of the time they're either 1) self-pitying, or 2) finger-pointing.

It's not bad or wrong to look around and realize that the community you found comfort in has changed in ways you could have never predicted and which leave you feeling off-kilter. But approaching these changes with a complete lack of curiosity, with an absolute woe-is-me sort of perspective, where you drag your feet and glare bitter daggers at everyone else, isn't the way to do anything.

And going around trying to pin blame on whoever happens to be at hand is an even worse way to approach it. "It's the furry fandom's faults!" "It's the alterhumans' faults!" "It's the humans' faults!" Who does this approach realistically help? What does this do, beyond ostracize people and make whoever is saying it feel temporarily vindicated in their solitude, in a vicious cycle where they never step out of their ivory tower and always use how alone they are as "proof" that they're right?

I think having discussions about the ways the subculture has changed is extremely worthwhile. But I think that they're at their best when enthusiasm over sharing takes a main, central point. When you see people excitedly telling others about Werecards for the first time, or when you get to introduce someone to the concept of personal websites and webrings, or when you link someone who's only just starting to learn that there's others like them to old and new groups and forums alike. These are the ways you keep those traditions alive, these are they ways you get people both informed of and really excited about them.

And like, maybe I'm just cheesy and optimistic, but building bridges is way more fun than building walls! And more than that, I also think it's fundamentally something that's significantly more helpful and productive. I'm always so hype when I see community projects taking off that involve connecting many different people, especially if they're centered on a specific group or identity, but I also think that those sorts of things are how we keep a community healthy and moving, how we avoid things getting stagnant and rotting away.

I've said it before in past essays I've published and I'll say it again: alterhuman communities survive through their internal momentum. We're still around and kicking because we're a bunch of opinionated, passionate animals and objects and entities and people and concepts and and and-- this is what we are! This is how we all, both together and individually as separate groups, continue to be around. We write. We argue. We dance. We leave tracks. And then others see all those things, months or years down the line, and they know they're not alone. They know that it's okay to join in around the campfire, and they end up leaving their own tracks, and the cycle repeats.

So I guess what I'm saying here is that I'm not just beseeching people to create, but I'm asking you to create with others. To extend that paw towards the people around you in your immediate community spaces and wider, and to realize that yeah, the digital grains of sand and time might erode and change the landscapes we're all in, but we can still have a damn good time exploring the new nooks and crannies around us and showing others our old hidey-holes and favorite spots to watch the sun set.

[circeyoru]

Cuddles of Another Kind = Requested

[Lucifer x Reader x Alastor] - Headcanons

The Request

Lucifer and Alastor doesn’t see eye to eye. Full stop. Just look at their rival when they were bantering on who’s the better dad for Charlie

Now, you. Are you the luckiest sinner in Hell or the unluckies. It’s up in the air

You blame it on your weak heart to fall for such charismatic demons. Both of them make you smile and laugh like no tomorrow and they live for your smile and laughter. Both of them also make you feel comfortable and safe, something they hold in high regard and with pride

It was somewhat established that you were the apple in Lucifer’s eye and the muse to Alastor’s broadcast, with such big figures, no one fought for your attention or affection. When it came to choosing who, you couldn’t and surprisingly Lucifer and Alastor compromised

(It was after them losing track of you in the middle of their argument and competition, then you were kidnapped by some mafia that wanted to have the King of Hell and Radio Demon begging on their knees to their boss. They saw that the other wanted you safe and happy, so when it came to you, they’ll bend a little)

You are a physical touch type of romantic, you love touching your significant other some way (not suggestively). Whether it was handing hands, or leaning against them, or playing with their hair

You also knew Alastor loves his personal space and his aversion to physical touch initiated by others, so you would turn to Lucifer for such clinginess (Surely you should have also know Alastor wouldn’t mind you touching him!!!)

Alastor: Darling, where are you going? You: Oh, to find Lucifer, wanna cling to them all of a sudden, you know. Those urges to just hug or touch someone. No worries, I won't overstep your boundaries! Lucifer: My beautiful temptress, come to me!

It’s those times where some playful rivalry would appear

Charlie: The TV’s not working… Angel: Mister Smiley is not in the mood. Can’t ya heard the static? Vaggie: What happened this time? Husk: No “my beloved doe” to hug him, plus [Reader]’s with your dad Charlie: Oh…… Well, maybe we can cheer— Alastor: (even more static, they should have been quiet)

Alastor had to tell to your face that he was find with your touches and physical affection. Though it was more like showing you and whispering into your ear. “My dearest darling doe, why do you deprive me of my affections from your delicate hands. Now you need to double what you gave to that short king to me. Your time and your touches.”

After that it was cuddle times together. You even got a bigger bed from the two of them. So you three can lie there without pushing one another off the bed

Make room for Lucifer’s wings! It’s bigger than all three of you! But so fluffy! His wings act as the big spoon to cocoon you all

To make things fair, you sleep in the middle (obviously) and the boys sleep on either sides. Alastor’s head is laying on top of yours and hugs your sides while Lucifer sleeps on your chest to hear your heart beat, his legs crossing yours

Honestly, you don’t need your blanket cause it will get thrown over the bed’s edge by the time you’re awake. So Lucifer compromises with his wings to cover you mostly, the tips maybe covering Alastor

Overall, you can expect your cuddles to lull you to sleep because it was that comfortable and safe, even in Hell and with the most dangerous two demons so close to you. But you know they will never harm you

These cuddles are a privilege to you and you alone

Note: Hehe, headcanons are fun, short and quick~ Thanks for the request!

Circe Y.

Other works: MASTERLIST

Taglist:

@aconfusedwonderland

@crowleysthings

@donustellaron

[riniworld]

fulfil my wish

yandere!emperor oc x general!f!reader

warnings// obsession,yandere theme,mention of killing and blood,breaking bones,not proofread, let me know if i missed anything!

refrence// you,my love,flower,your majesty-honor, she/her

a/n//i don't actually know if all of this make sense-

it's been months since you've got married to taron,and you hated every second of it.

your place is in the field with a sword or in a war not in this luxurious life full of lazeness,but he prevented you from using the sword again saying it's too dangerous for an empress to go to the war.

in the start you didn't mind because you don't want to hold the sword against your home,but you can't handle it anymore when you couldn't even go out the castle.

your life start to become plain and boring,you literally had read the entire library.

whenever you open the topic with taron he close it immediately.

You've gave up on getting out from there and didn't argue about it more untill...

You have a younger sister who got married early to one of the soldiers who was under your wing, but he died in one of the battles so you took her and her children responsibilitys on you,You found a job for her to support herself and her children, and you visited them every month but after what happen you forget about her.

you were on your way to taron to give him some papers he had told you to bring because he forgot them in the room when you stumble on one of his correspondents telling him news about the empire and he mentioned something about your sister losing her job.

you had alot of questions first is that how does taron know about her? second Why does he receive her news? She doesn't even live here,but all those questions faded away when you realize you should go visit her.

You were jolted out of your thoughts when the door opened,the correspondent bow in respect and go.

taron smiled softly when he saw you "ah did you bring them already?"

you put the papers on his desk "what did the correspondent told you?" you asked like you didn't hear anything,maybe he'll told you what happen to your sister in details.

"Don't bother yourself with it, it's just normal news about the state of the empire"

you nod in acknowledge "I'll go now then,i need to do something"

"do you now? why don't we drink some tea together,We don't usually sit together" he took your hand and kissed the back of it

you pull your hand quickly "no thanks" then you left.

but then you stopped in your track,Why don't you get closer to him? Maybe he'll let you out the castle then? this idea hit you as you made your way back to him.

you opened the door aggressively "you know what let's drink tea together i don't have anything to do"

taron was confused as much as he was happy,did you finally decided to give him a chance?.

"sure,of course come sit" he said and pull the chair for you to sit on.

when you sat down he demanded the servants to bring two cups of tea in a rush

you sip from your cup in tense,since he sit down he kept just looking at you.

"your tea will get cold" you point out.

"hm?....ah yes,yeah right" he shake his head like he just come to his sense.

you roll your eyes when he wasn't looking.

he sip from his cup befor he speak "What is the reason for the sudden change in behavior,hm?....it's not like i'm complaining of course"

you pause thinking of a reason "...nothing really....I'm-just bored."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise "you're bored? Did the servants fail to bring you anything? do you need anything? should i punish someone?"

"whao there,it's nothing like that i just.....it's boring being here all the time"

he sigh "i don't like where this going to."

"why so? all i ask is a little walk in the cit-"

"no." he shuts you up immediately. "we've talked about that before,if you need anything I'll send someone to bring it to you."

"it's totally different! i need some fresh air"

"the garden is big enough"

"but it's annoying to be in the same place over and over again."

"look.." he say as he made his way to you taking your hands in his "it's all for your safety,we don't know what will happen if you set your foot outside the gates."

"i belive I'm more than capable of myself." you say in annoyance.

taron chuckle slightly "yes,i trust you can of course, let's just say i don't want anyone to see your beauty as well...If I didn't have to, I wouldn't let the servants see you at all"

"that's bullshit" you mutter under yout breath.

"i know you're not the type to stay in one place,but you'll get used to it"

you glare at him in anger and pull your hands from his.

taron sigh in frustration and ran his hand through his hair.

"is boredom the only reason that you want to go out?"

you stayed silent for a moment, "no...i want to visit my sister."

"...oh..you have a sister?"

what a liar,it taking everything in you to not punch him, "i do" you say between gritting teeth.

"don't worry about her,just tell me where is she and I'll take care of her." he smiled at you.

"no need, just let me visit her." you say in desperate.

"I'll think about it" he goes back to his side of the table "i would love to spend some more time with you but i have duties to attend" he say in an apologising tone.

you left the room without saying anything,knowing that it's just lies and he won't let you go.

you're laying down on the bed,you couldn't sleep last night thinking of ways to visit your sister.

Even if you can avoid the servants, you will not be able to avoid the guards outside.

you sigh and gets up to change,you'll think better in the fresh air.

When you open the door to leave, you're stopped by a guard standing at the door.

"please forgive me,your majesty,But it's orders you can't leave your room."

you scoff and get inside,that happened alot when taron get guests.

you sit beside the window looking out at the garden lost in thought,you heard rambling outside the door,that most be the servants busy providing hospitality,poor people.

but that when an idea crossed your mind,everyone busy with the guests,no one will notice you snaking out,And if you use a little of your power as an empress, you can leave, and no one will tell taron immediately.

you open the door again and cut the guard before he say anything "i need to use the lavatory."

the guard look between you and taron's guest room,you clear your throat to get his attention again "I'm sure taron wouldn't mind,in fact he might even get angry if he knew you didn't let me go." you feel a little guilty to use his fear against him but you know you had to,for your sister.

the guard stood in front of you in tense "as you wish,your majesty,but let me escort you."

you had no choice but to accept,now you're here in the toilet thinking about how to get rid of him.

You use one of the moves you had learned as a general,

You pull him in quickly as you apply enough pressure to the carotid arteries,while you cut off the blood flow to his brain, render him unconscious.

you mutter "sorry" and left,walking slowly to the outside gates you've bumped on one or two of the servants who questions you if you need anything or telling you that taron don't want you to go out now,but you brush it off by some excuses as he the one who told you to bring him something or you want something personal from a room.

You have successfully reached the outdoor garden, you made your way to the gates and the guards stopped you "sorry your honor but you are forbidden from leaving, it is the Emperor's orders"

you expected this to happen "I've been given permission to leave"

the guards look at each other and then one of them speak "excuse us but we have to ask his majesty about this"

"are you calling me a liar?" you say sternly.

the guard started to get tense and bow his head "i would never your honor!"

"it's-it's just for safety,your honor,so his majesty won't get upset" the other guard says shakly

"there's no need to disturb him right now,i belive my word is enough to go by,isn't it?"

the guards opened the way to you and shouted "yes of course your honor!"

it would be strange for you to go walking in this clothes in public so you take a trolley to escort you.

your eyes land on a clothes shop,it sells ordinary clothes just the thing you need so you told the trolley driver to stop by it, when you enter everyone star at you,not that they recognize you thank to taron's possessiveness, but because you look more like a royalty to buy something from a store like that.

you ignore the stars and whispers in your way looking for something more comfortable you can run in it if needed...or fight.

when you find what you want and wear it you head to pay but then realize that you didn't bring with you any money,cursing under your breath as you think of something you can pay by, your eyes landed on your ring,your wedding ring,it's not like you loved it anyway so you give it to the seller who look at you with shock but eventually take it of course even if it was too much for the price.

as you walk out the store,you tries to hide your face as much as you can so the trolley driver won't recognize you,when you get far enough you start to walk casually but fast trying to reach your sister as fast as you can before taron knows about your disappear and make a huge deal of it.

8:00p.m

it's been two hour when those shame of royalties has been here,taron grew annoyed,What they say is all bullshit to him,he could kick them out easily and for no reason but he doesn't want to deal with the drama that will happen... not now at least not when you finally softened up to him a little bit,his mood ease a little when he thought of you.

he wonder if you're asleep right now,and hope you're not, he want to spend some time with you again.

8:30p.m

oh finally they're gone!,taron bid them farewell coldly and fast he didn't even escort them to the gates but can they complain? they're lucky enough he even accepted to meet them and didn't kick them out by 5 min.

taron head to your room and got angry when no one stand at the door,didn't he set a guard here?.

he opens the door to your room slowly so he won't wake you up if you were sleeping,But all his annoyance changed to shock when he did not see anyone in the room he made sure to not let you out didn't he?!

taron shouted for the servants to come and by seconds three servants bowing on their hands before him,no one dared to left their head up not when their emperor is angry.

"i belive I've made myself clear to not let y/n left the room,haven't i?,so where is she now?" his tone is terrifyingly filled with coldness.

"We-we were s-s-so busy hosting that we didn't notice anyone leaving,your-your Majesty" one of them say shakly with terror.

"you useless insects!" he shouted "I'll deal with you later,go and prepare my horse and let some of those guards prepare themselves too...quickly!" he demanded.

the servants hurried to do what they had been told.

taron knew exactly where are you going to,if you only waited for some days, he was going to take you there of course he was, why would he prevents you from visiting your sister?? he was just going to make it a surprise but you had to break his words and now you ruined everything, he has to make you learn how to obey him even if he have to use power.

day later

it wasn't easy to left the empire the guards was everywhere, you even had to hide somewhere for like three hours.

but eventually you're out know and close to your sister's house it only take an hour walking.

.

.

.

you finally here after alot of trouble,you knock on the door and your sister opened the door real quick.

"ah-y/n! what-what got you here?"

you didn't answer instead you throw yourself at her and hug here tight,she return the hug but there was something strange about her, she sutter and seems like really anxious,you shrug this feeling off maybe she's still brokendown.

she guster you inside "I've heard about what happened" you say while sitting down.

"o-oh really? it's not a big deal...and i-i heard about your marriage" she brings some tea and biscuit to a table in front of you.

"ugh don't talk about that now,it's miserable..that sham of a man thinks he have the right to control my life or something"

"y-y/n ac-actually he's-"

"but it's true my love, i do have the right to control your life" someone cut your sister off, you recognize that voice, taron

you stand up in a defensive pose quickly wich lead to knock the tray off "what are you doing here?!"

"what? am i not allowed to visit my beloved wife sister?" he said with innocent tone.

you look at your sister with a questioning look,but what got you angry more is how your sister shiver in fear, what did he do to her?!.

"i swear to god taron if you've hurt her!" you warning.

taron only chuckle slightly "I've never heard you say my name,it's like honey when you say it"

you didn't replay don't want to go further with his playing.

taron's expression suddenly turned serious "now let's go back to the castle,and you're going to come with me obediently" he say coldly

you wanted to argue but your sister life is on the line,before you even replay he grabbed your arm and dragged you to his horse behind the house, he ride the horse at first and demand "ride" as you ride hesitantly.

The road to the castle was quiet and full of tension, you knew full well that there would be consequences when you return, but at least your sister was safe.

as soon as you reached your destination, taron took you by your arm forcefully and then threw you on the floor of the room.

you fall on your back hard but you swallow your groan,Before you lift yourself off the ground taron place his foot on your neck It chokes you a little.

"you broke my words,flower. i have to make sure you won't do it again." he say strangely calm as he tuck down and take one of your arms

the next thing you hear is a cracking noise,fuck he broke your arm.

you bite your lips to not scream and sound weak,All thanks to your training as a general,but you eventually let a little groan escape as he force more wight on it.

"you broke my heart,flower. The least i can do is break your arm,and this still not as much pain as I felt" with every word come out his mouth he twists your arm more "be thankful i didn't kill your sister."

with that he left you alone,you lift yourself up and embrace your arm letting out a few tears,it of course doesn't hurt like the battles injuries But this is the first time someone has broken your pride, and who did it? The person you hate most!.

you swear you'll get your revenge someday.

someone knock on the door,you gave permission to enter, the castle's doctor entered,she respectfully told you to sit on the bed so she cast your broken arm. (i guess it's like that?)

When she finished, she wished you a speedy recovery and left.

taron entered as soon as the doctor left,he looked at your arm for some minute before he exhale and sit down beside you.

"you lost that" He takes your good hand and place your wedding ring in your finger,a blood-stained ring,did he kill the clothes seller?!.

"you of course hadn't gave it willingly,so i brought it back to you, don't mind the blood it'll go easly with some soap" he was smiling, how can he smile when he just killed an innocent person!.

maybe the blood on the ring will remind you what taron can do without guilt, if you hadn't listen to him this would've been you sister blood.

he's terrifying.

finallyyyyyy

hope you like it :)!

have a nice day/night♡

[hqbaby]

eight — sorry, my bad

fuck ur instincts — suna x reader & atsumu x reader

you and suna are just fooling around—so why does he care so much when you start falling in love with someone else?

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 1.3k content. swearing, sexual conversations, short sex scene with vaginal penetration

“Ouch,” Hinata says, stopping behind Atsumu. “Man, that must hurt.”

The blond looks over his shoulder, shirt in hand. “What’re ya talkin’ ‘bout?”

They’re in the locker room, getting showered and dressed after a day of long and gruesome training. It wouldn’t have been so bad if Bokuto hadn’t shown up late and drunk, causing his team to lose the scrimmage and pissing Sakusa off. There was a bit of a squabble after that, but they managed to get it together in time for the next match.

“He’s talkin’ ‘bout yer back,” Aran snickers. “Rough night?”

Atsumu squints, trying to understand what they mean by that. Then it hits him. “Oh,” he says, eyes growing wide. “That.”

Yaku comes up behind him to see what the other boys are talking about. “Holy shit! Y/N did that?”

A few lockers over, Suna freezes at the sound of your name.

“Hey!” Oikawa’s piercing voice cuts through everyone's chatter as he marches his way over to the other setter. “Quit talking about my best friend with these jerks.”

“I’m not!” Atsumu throws his hands up innocently. “Blame Hinata. He’s the one that pointed it out.”

The other boy pulls a face as Oikawa turns to look at him with a fire in his eyes. “I was just worried about Atsumu!” he insists, backing away slightly. “I mean, come on. Look at what she did to him!”

Your best friend scowls but looks at Atsumu anyway. He stops in his tracks when he sees it—sees them, all his previous anger washed away. Oh fuck, he thinks. The poor guy.

“Atsumu, I am so so so so so so sorry,” he says, ignoring the freaked out look the other boy has on his face at Oikawa’s sudden change in demeanor. “She’s a demon, I’m telling you. Satan’s spawn. I’ve been telling her mother since we were twelve that her real daughter must’ve been kidnapped and replaced by a monster because…”

Suna sees the marks on Atsumu’s back. Clearly yours. He knows because he’s been blessed with the same ones on several occasions and teased by his teammates about them to no end. Of course they never knew they were yours. No one knew.

He looks straight ahead at the open locker in front of him, quietly putting on his shirt and taking his bag out.

This shouldn’t bother him. It doesn’t, he tells himself. It really doesn’t. You’ve slept with other guys before, he knows that. You’re allowed to. It’s not like he can stop you. It doesn’t matter, none of it does, not when you come back to him at the end of the day. Not when he gets to hold you long after those other guys are gone. Not when you always choose him.

He slams his locker shut and pops his earbuds in, waving at the boys who say goodbye to him as he leaves.

That’s probably why you were busy last night. Why you didn’t read his message as soon as he sent it, like you usually do. Why you texted him back with a slew of apologies at 1 AM. It was all because, last night, you chose Atsumu instead of him.

Of course you did.

He feels pathetic. What did he expect was going to happen when you started seeing one of his best friends? Atsumu doesn’t hide you the way he does. He deserves more from you than Suna ever will.

He pulls his phone out and shoots a text. 

Fuck, he really hates himself right now.

“Explain.”

You perk up at the sound of Kaori’s voice, smiling as she approaches you on the bench. “Explain what?” you ask sweetly. “Love your hair today, by the way.”

She narrows her eyes at you. “Yeah, yeah. Cut the crap.” She gestures at the three marks on your neck, there are two small ones that you would've gotten away with if not for the giant one beside them. “What are those?”

You keep smiling. “Curling iron, curling iron, allergic reaction,” you say, pointing at each one as you assign their causes. “Sucks to be me, I know.”

“Y/N.”

“Kaori, I love you.”

She groans. “What happened to ‘no marks’?”

“Well, this was the first time with this guy,” you say sheepishly. “Didn’t exactly tell him the rules.”

“First time?” Kaori raises a brow. “Was it…”

“Yeah…”

“Oh fuck!” she exclaims. “Okay! What the fuck? And you didn’t tell us?”

“I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

Yukie comes up to the two of you, drawn into the conversation by your screaming. “What is it?” she asks. “What’s going on?”

“She slept with Atsumu!”

“What? And you didn’t tell us?”

You pout and put your face in your hands. “Oh my god, could you be any louder?” you say. There are a few other girls in the room, but it’s not like they don’t know about you and Atsumu at this point. And you know more about their sex lives than you probably should anyway, so it all evens out. But still.

“Dude,” Kaori says, kneeling down in front of you and forcing you to look at her. She opens her hands in front of her and makes her palms face each other, holding them an inch apart. “Tell me when to stop,” she tells you, slowly moving her hands away from one another. She pauses when they’re four inches apart. “Bigger?”

You nod, feeling your face heat up as she continues moving her hands. She stops again. You wince. “Bigger.” With wide eyes, she increases the distance between her hands until you say, “Stop.”

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

Yukie gapes, staring at just how far apart your other friend’s hands are. “What the fuck.”

Kaori drops her hands and bows down in front of you, Yukie following suit. “You’re my new god, Y/N,” she says. “Fucking beast, I’m telling you.”

You roll your eyes and grab their arms. “Get up,” you say as the two of them resist you. “I’ll make you do laps if you don’t. I’m serious.” They know you're (probably) not serious but they get up anyway, sitting down on the bench beside you. Sometimes, you’re happy to be captain. Power is one hell of a drug.

“Was he good?” Yukie asks. “Like on a scale of one to ten.”

“Eight?”

“You’re lying.”

“I don’t know!” you throw your hands up in defeat. “He’s just… nice. And, I don’t know, I think I’m starting to like him a little.”

“No way! You have a crush on the guy you fucked?” Kaori asks sarcastically. “It’s like that’s totally never happened before!”

You frown. “Rin doesn’t count.”

“Oh, baby,” she says, smirking, “he always counts.”

Suna throws his head back, hips thrusting uncontrollably as he feels his orgasm creep up on him. His breath is ragged as his whole body starts to tense up. He can feel it, he’s so close.

“Fuck! I’m right there!”

“Come for me, Rin!”

“Feel so good, so good. I’m coming! Fuck! Y/N!”

He cum spills out into the condom as his whole body freezes. His eyes shift down to the girl beneath him who looks up with an awkward smile on her face. He’s such an asshole.

“It’s Ayame,” she says meekly as he slips out of her. She sits up with her legs pulled to her chest.

He takes the condom off and knots it before tossing it into the trash. He stays on the edge of the bed, back turned to the girl. “Right. Ayame,” he murmurs, “sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she tells him and he knows she probably means it. She’s one of those girls who would do anything for him. It’s why he texted her in the first place. He knew she’d say yes to whatever he asked for. “It’s Y/N L/N, right? I mean, she’s really pretty. Everyone wants her.”

A dry chuckle. “They do, don’t they?” he says quietly. He glances back at the girl and shrugs. “Sorry,” he says again. “My bad.”

notes. this was honestly one of my favorite chapters to write in the whole series 😩 like we have some atsumu and reader silliness with their friends AND suna angst??? all the things i love writing <3

if you haven’t seen the results of the poll from last chapter, you can find them here!! totally not what i expected but ykw i’m not complaining

[smtown-tourist]

Ever since the AMIGO practice video dropped, it’s been going around again how killer SHINee’s live performance skills are, but what I don’t really see much of is people discussing why. Why are SHINee’s live performance skills so good? How were these five ROOKIES able to outshine their seniors in a skill they’ve been doing for so much longer?

The answer is simple: Timing. SHINee, as rookies, learned the valuable skill of timing when it comes to performing live.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: of course they’re good at timing - how else are they gonna be able to stay on track? And you’re right. It does seem like an obvious answer yet I don’t think you realize how important timing plays into singing and dancing live.

We all know that it’s hard to keep your voice steady when dancing, but what SHINee has learned is to make their voices flow with the choreography. In order to do that, it’s all about rhythm and timing. If for even a fraction of a second their timing is off, it’s going to throw off their rhythm, therefore throw off their ability to steady their voice. Same goes for timing when they need to breathe. Singing and dancing is a cardio workout. If they can’t time their inhales and exhales correctly, then they’ll be out of breath and unable to sing when their turn comes.

A lot of that has to do with the structure of the choreography. It’s been analyzed before that K-pop choreographies will be structured in two ways: either based on the rhythm of the instrumentals or the rhythm of the lyrics. SHINee’s choreographies, if you’ve ever paid close attention, often have the dance moves lining up with the rhythm of the lyrics. Sometimes all three will line up, but not often will you find their choreographies solely following the rhythm of the instrumentals. Again, that is because it’s harder to keep your voice steady when your voice isn’t following the movement of your body. It’s a balancing act, and what happens if your timing is off? You lose that balance, i.e. your voice becomes unsteady.

This is also why SHINee is always able to stay so in-sync when performing: because of their timing. It becomes a domino effect if they get their timing wrong. It’s not just about staying in-sync with one another for aesthetic purposes, it’s making sure they have the timing right so that their voices can flow with the choreography and they can breathe at the required times. Timing is the aspect that binds everything together.

So, yes, SHINee are great singers, great dancers, great at being in-sync, and have great breath control and those things combined together are what make them such great live performers. But those skills would be useless if it weren’t for their ability to time everything correctly.

I hope my analysis shed some lights on things, and if you were already aware of everything I stated above, great! I’m glad we’re on the same page. Of course, this is not meant to bash any of the hard work SHINee put in to perfecting their vocals, their dancing skills, their teamwork, any of that. It was simply an observation that I made to help everyone look deeper than the surface level of a performance.

Sometimes I think we get a little swept up in the theatricality of K-pop to realize that so much more goes into it and knowing the timing of every tiny piece is what binds it all together. SHINee has mastered the art of timing, which is what allows their talents to shine the way that they do on stage. In my opinion, it’s truly remarkable and shows their dedication to perfecting their craft.

[m00nsbaby]

Why'd you only call me when you are high?

Marc Spector x F! Reader.

Tags & warnings. Angst, unrequired love, mentions of addiction. (Alcohol.) A story made of tiny little pieces of other stories.

Word count. 3.3k

Summary. It became an exhausting routine, something physically draining yet mentally suffocating. It came to a point when you wondered how you were able to deal with this without collapsing every time things got worse.

You met on one of his missions, or perhaps one of yours; that point was never clarified.

You could barely exchange a few words until, for security reasons, both of you had to stay locked in a hotel room for two days, or maybe it was three, you weren't keeping track.

"Do you think about your brother a lot?" You questioned, looking up at the ceiling. You were on the bed with your feet towards the pillows, and Marc's legs were already numb from sitting on the floor, back against the edge of the bed.

You pulled a sigh from him.

Before the confinement, you probably would have thought it was an insensitive question to ask, but it turns out that after 12 hours, both seemed to have descended into madness enough to vomit your life stories to each other.

It almost seemed like a competition to see which story was worse.

"Yes." His gaze was fixed on the floor. "A lot."

"Do you feel like he's with you? Do you believe in those things?" The ceiling had started to form shapes in front of your eyes. Or maybe it was just your tired vision that had already memorized every mark on it.

"I don't believe in those things." It was so strange to hear his voice out of combat, it was sweet and velvety without losing that raspy undertone. "And if I did, I think RoRo would be mad at me."

"He wouldn't be, Marc." You preferred to close your eyes rather than continue forming false figures on the ceiling. "It wasn't your fault."

"I know." It was the last thing he said, not believing his own words.

"Would it be too risky to order room service?"

Marc looked at you, he was pressing his lips together to suppress laughter, and you had pushed yourself far enough onto the bed that your head hung off the edge of the bed. He could feel your hair brushing against him.

In his eyes, you were quite a character.

"Are you hungry?"

"Why do you ask like that?" You turned to look at him. He seemed upside down from your angle.

"We could've died like three times since we got to the country, and who knows how many more times once we get out of here."

"And what does that have to do with my hunger?"

"Aren't you scared?"

"Are you?"

"No." He was. Marc was always scared, but he never showed it, especially now that you were supposed to be a team. He wouldn't drag you into his anxiety when you seemed so carefree.

"Then neither am I."

He gave up, still looking at you.

"What do you want?" He broke contact with you only seconds later, as he got up to retrieve the room phone.

You understood much later that in those 72 hours together Marc talked to you about things he never shared with anyone else, and neither he nor you understood where that sudden trust between you two came from.

Perhaps it was just one of those times when two people click effortlessly, chemistry just happened, and both accepted it.

"Do you have a place to stay?" Both of you were a mess. Marc's curls, for the first time since you had known him (approximately 14 days), were a mess, although it suited him, making him look more carefree than usual.

You, on the other hand, had applied lip balm about 17 times in the last few hours, and every time you saw your reflection on any surface, you complained about the noticeable dark circles. At least the wound on your cheek was healing.

"Of course, I don't live on the streets." You got a laugh out of Marc, who responded as if it were very obvious.

"Are you sure? Because it looks like it."

He nudged you with his shoulder, and this time you laughed.

"I hate flying." The sound of his suitcase on the floor and the number of people walking back and forth around you were testing Marc's already limited patience.

"Is there anything you don't hate?"

"Doubtful."

"Hey, look." With your free hand, you pointed to the airport's food area. It turned out you had been walking for about 40 minutes trying to find something to eat. Marc was about to murder someone just to get a donut, or at least that's what he had said.

After seeing how the mission ended, you didn't doubt his words.

"Maybe it was worth it." He had an impressive ability to joke with a serious expression on his face and the most monotone voice you'd ever heard. "You know, the mission."

"For a donut?"

"For two donuts. Choose whatever you want, I'll pay."

"Are you going to spend two dollars on me? Marc, please, I can't allow that."

You talked little as you ate your donuts at your uncomfortable two-person table. As the time to leave approached, you began to feel weirder.

On one hand, there was the feeling of being at home, the relief of having survived one more mission, and knowing that today you would finally sleep in your own bed. On the other hand, you weren't a person with many friends; saying goodbye to Marc was going to hurt.

And you couldn't stop thinking that this would be the last time you saw him. He also didn't seem like the type to keep in touch after these things.

"So, are you going home?" The airport exit was getting closer, and you couldn't help but feel nauseous.

"Right now?"

"Right now."

"I don't know, I don't think so." He checked the time on his wristwatch. "I'll call my wife to see if she can pick me up."

Oh.

Oh.

"Ah." You tried your best not to seem surprised by the casual mention of his partner. You smiled forcibly and mentally wondered why the nausea had increased. "Well, good luck then, Marc."

You let go of your suitcase and didn't give him time to step back when you hugged him tightly. You were complete opposites, the girl who wasn't afraid to express her feelings and the guy who suppressed what he felt as much as he could.

Still, he hugged you back. His arms tightened around your waist, and you clung to his neck for a few extra seconds.

"Good luck." He whispered back, the tiny window of time where he could close his eyes and enjoy your scent one last time.

When you let go of him, both of you were abruptly back in reality, trying to put on your best faces for each other.

"I'll call a taxi, so I'd better hurry." Your hand returned to your suitcase as you took a step back, still looking at him.

You couldn't even fully turn around when he called you.

"Wait." He fumbled in his pockets until he found his worn-out phone, the one he used only for missions or to talk to Layla when the line where he was wasn't secure. "Do you have a personal phone number?"

You always wondered if Marc had intentionally avoided that part of his life, if he also felt strange being with you and that's why he preferred you to think he was single.

Turns out, contrary to what you thought, keeping your friendship afloat actually turned out to be quite easy. You didn't take long to exchange messages and calls.

It was a bit more complicated, as it turned out you lived in completely different ends of the city, and both of you were busy more often than you'd like. But you also managed to visit each other.

He came to your apartment first, looking like a little kid touching all your stuff and entering as if it were his own home.

"You drove here?"

He waved the crumpled bus ticket he still had in his pocket.

"So, are you staying here?"

"Or I'd have to leave in an hour to get there at a decent time."

"Touché." You smiled, his presence didn't bother you at all. In fact, knowing how difficult it would be to meet up, you preferred him to stay there for as long as he could. "I have a guest room."

That night you hardly slept. You seemed like little kids at a sleepover. You watched movies, ate junk food, and talked.

You talked until their throats hurt.

You talked, talked, talked about everything and everyone. You discovered that was what you liked doing most with Marc, talking.

At 5 in the morning, you both went to sleep, and just a few hours later, you were saying goodbye to him again.

It always seemed strange to you that he didn't live with his wife, although you swallowed the urge to ask. You didn't complain; it would have actually been quite awkward to stay in the same house as her.

The next time was your turn to go there, and the formula repeated with two small exceptions.

He took you to his favorite café before you both got comfortable in his apartment. He ordered for you, in fact, insisting that his recommendation would be better than anything you could choose.

Marc had only one bed in his small apartment. You refused to let him sleep on the couch, so you ended up sharing the bed, each on a different side. You knew you would think about that night more often than you'd like to admit.

You heard his phone ring a million times, and he didn't even glance at it. You weren't afraid to admit that if he was ignoring his wife for you, maybe you didn't have a problem with it.

A routine formed for you both. You saw each other at least once a week, both spending an exorbitant amount on travel back and forth, but your lives sometimes became so heavy that you both convinced yourselves you deserved a break.

Oh, and you had a label now. Apparently, for the past two months, you had been best friends, and things were going perfectly, with one small exception.

You didn't want him as a best friend, and your feelings seemed to grow stronger as time went on.

Strangely, things between you two got more complicated when he and Layla started having problems. You always thought it would be the opposite, that maybe if there was a bit more space between them, you'd get more attention from Marc.

Were your desires wrong? Yes, worse than wrong, in fact, but when you were with him, seeing him smile, you couldn't help but wish for their relationship to finally end.

"She hates you," Marc had said over the call, and you laughed, almost cynically.

"It's obvious she hates me, Marc. We spend a lot of time together."

"I think she has a point, you know?" You heard him take a sip of something.

Ouch.

"I know." You cleared your throat. "Maybe you're not giving her her place."

That was the first of many, and so began the agonizing task of having to act as Marc's emotional support. Since he wasn't willing to fully separate from you, he simply lived with the idea that his wife would be on top of him all the time.

"And what did she say afterward?" It was your script all along, lying on your back on your bed.

Your ceiling didn't have cracks or imperfect figures like the one at the hotel in Cairo.

"That I'm not giving her her place, again." Uhm, who would've thought. Just as you suspected. "She doesn't like that I can talk to you and with her it's just… No."

Your heart raced, and you could only cover your emotion by clearing your throat.

"Why not, Marc?"

"I don't know, it's… It's weird. With you, everything is so easy."

If only he could stop being so sweet for just 5 minutes, it would be easier not to be in love with him if he just chose to be a jerk.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I guess that's how having friends works." He chuckled, but it gave you a pang in your chest.

"Oh, yeah." You cleared your throat again. "I suppose so."

"What should I do?"

'Leave her.' You thought.

"Maybe talk to her. Tell her that we're not romantically interested in each other, right?"

"I've tried that before, she doesn't listen to me."

"Divorce?"

He laughed as if you had told him one of your best jokes.

"Don't be silly, that's never going to happen."

Marc wasn't foolish; he knew perfectly well about your feelings for him. However, he preferred to keep pretending that he simply didn't know rather than lose his best friend. He didn't even know what he would do if one day you weren't in his life.

The truth was, he had never formed such a strong and profound bond with anyone else, not even with Layla.

You learned to know a side of him that you didn't like. He had always been honest with you about his problem with alcohol, and the situation was that you had spent so much time with him while he was 'clean' that you started to believe his alcoholism was now under control, or whatever that might be called.

"She's going to leave me." You heard him sob on the other end of the line, and your stomach churned just hearing the fear reflected in his voice as he uttered those words.

You wondered if anyone would ever feel that fear of losing you too.

"You're drunk, Marc." It was all you could say. "She's not going to leave you; everything seems more dramatic when you're like this."

"I promised her I'd stay away from you." He confessed in the midst of a sip of whiskey.

Was he even aware of how much he was hurting you? Probably not, and you wouldn't be the one to remind him of it the next day.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and closed your eyes for a few seconds, forcing yourself to regain composure.

"Is that why you're not coming home anymore, Marc?" Your voice cracked, but he didn't seem to care.

"I can't keep hurting her." You bit the inside of your cheek; otherwise, you were sure you'd yell at him.

"Marc? I have to go to sleep."

"Of course, I… I'm sorry, really."

Your skin grew thicker from that night onward, as you accepted that there could never be anything between you and Marc. You had to forcefully digest the fact that his heart belonged to someone else, even though that truth had always been right in front of you.

You couldn't remember the last time Marc had called you just to hang out like you used to do in the beginning.

It was fun. A lot of fun. You would hear him doing things around his apartment, sometimes the creak of his bed as he dropped onto it to speak more comfortably, occasionally you'd watch movies together and discuss them, and once or twice, you fell asleep on the call.

Now, you dealt with the same thing every week – the same daggers stabbing into your heart because, as you saw it, it would be more painful not to have him in your life at all than to have just a part of him.

Besides, of course, your love came coated in a thick layer of concern; it was impossible not to, especially when you saw your best friend slowly deteriorating due to a relationship that seemed to be going downhill. At this point, you didn't even know if it was your fault or if it was simply happening because they weren't compatible.

You couldn't leave him alone, even if you wanted to.

"Are you drinking again?"

"Just a little."

You sighed heavily – that's all he heard from your end.

"I'd prefer if you insulted me." His voice was soft, for a moment, you swore you were hearing the Marc who adored you not too long ago. "Your sounds of disappointment hurt me more."

"I'm not disappointed."

"You are."

"I'm worried."

Another long silence from both ends.

"Would you rather I call you tomorrow?" Oh, Marc, running away from your feelings again.

"That would be fine."

"Okay. I love you."

You didn't respond and simply hung up the call. A horrible migraine had been killing you for the past two hours, since Marc started his speech of the day about why Layla deserved someone better than him but he refused to let her go because he was selfish, and blah blah blah.

Someday you had to explode, right? No one can bottle up their feelings for so long.

It happened while Marc was spewing another story about Layla and how everything was different when they first met. You wondered if it was a pattern for him.

"Marc?" You whispered, and he finally fell silent.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I have to tell you something."

A prolonged silence. Longer than you would have liked until he spoke again.

"No."

"Huh?"

"Don't say it. Please."

"Marc, I have to…"

"I beg you, I don't want to hear…"

"I love you, Marc." You broke when the words managed to escape your throat. He understood that even though you told each other that all the time, this was different for both of you.

"No, don't do this, please." He sounded almost as desperate as you.

"I love you so much, and believe me, I've tried not to." You spoke quickly before he could interrupt you or hang up the call. "But I can't, Marc, I don't know why."

"Y-You know I'm with Layla, you know I love her." Why did it sound like a reproach?

"I know! You remind me of it every night while I'm breaking into pieces." You sobbed, and his chest tightened. "I can't do this anymore, Marc, I can't."

Your sobs and laments were the only things that could be heard on the call for a few minutes as he tried to figure out the smartest thing to say.

The truth was, he was blank. Did you want him to lie?

"I don't… I…" He cleared his throat and tried to stay calm even though he was on the verge of losing it.

"I know you don't feel the same."

Thank God he didn't have to say it out loud.

"I-I don't need you to reciprocate." Were your hands trembling over this nonsense? You felt like a heartbroken teenager. You wanted to hit something to check if that would bring you back to sanity. "I need you to understand that I can't keep doing this."

More silence.

More damn silence.

"Okay." It was all he said.

You wished with all your heart that he would beg not to lose you as he begged every night for Layla not to go.

"Okay." You repeated afterward as you sniffled.

It was all so unfair. You were sure you heard your phone's screen crack when you hung up the call.

Though, you felt so shattered that the stupid glass in your hand was the least important thing to you at that moment.

Anyone would think that would be the end, but it turns out Marc Spector didn't give up easily.

And you understood he had not an ounce of fear of losing you. Marc feared not having someone to talk to at night, he feared not having someone to support him and tell him he was right, he feared loneliness.

So you, with your heart completely broken and your spirits shattered exactly a week later, answered his call.

You told him that Layla was worth it and that he needed to get his life in order if he didn't want to lose her. And you repeated that in the following weeks.

Or was it months? Who knows, you had stopped counting a long time ago.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

diasomnia, 1 — 19

***Spoilers ahead!!!***

Note: this is just a general summary of what has happened so far and my initial reactions to those major events. I focused my comments on whatever interests me the most (ie lore and funny character interactions), so there are definitely details that were overlooked and lines that were simplified to make a joke; please do not rely on this as a translation.

Big thanks to @shuuenmei and @curekibouka-writing for clarifying the more confusing tracks of the story (some parts were difficult to follow the sequence of events for) and the details of the✨ deep lore ✨ It was fun screaming with the both of you—

Ah yes, Yuu’s Sleeping Beauty dream right on cue. Finally starting to put together the puzzle pieces, huh (Yuu goes to check on the Great Seven statues to confirm they saw the Fairy of Thorns in their dreams)? About time—

As expected, Sebek loses his mind and tells Yuu to not abuse Malleus’s kindness. He’s also super pissed that Malleus and Yuu act familiar with each other (and over the nickname). Yup, that interaction went about as well as we all predicted…

Not Lilia being the “I’m an anime boy late for anime school (the internship meeting)!” trope 😂 All he needs is some toast in his mouth!

Crowley talks about boring things how the internships will work and we hear more about the areas of interest for the third years.

Lore ✨ Each internship “semester” is 3 months and you can only take certain internships if you qualify for them via your grades, credits, and electives. You can choose to do 3 separate internships (again, 3 months each) or do 1 internship (for all 9 months). A B or higher is needed on two of the “semesters” to graduate. Students must also submit reports each semester. Some places additionally require interviews and/or special tests to be passed before a student is accepted as an intern. Placements are not first-come, first-serve; you need to earn that spot.

Trey says he wants to do something related to pastries or agriculture; basically, things close to food production 🌾 He wants to take advantage of his opportunities as an NRC student while he still can!! Trey said he wants to work right after school rather than go to university.

Cater is interested in the entertainment industry; he mentions magazines and videos?? It seems he isn’t interested in higher education.

HELP they randomly mention that Ace’s older brother interned in the entertainment industry too (it gets brought up when Cater was considering a theme park for his own internship)??? TRAPPOLA NII ALSO CURRENTLY WORKS IN ENTERTAINMENT????? When do we get to meet him, Ace—

Vil is continuing to advance his own career in film. He already picked out a studio to apply for, and expresses an interest in magical pharmaceuticals (though he doesn’t intend on going to college). Very fitting specialties for everyone, I must say!

Rook is interested in archeology so he can learn more about the world! After learning about S.T.Y.X., he realizes there’s so much more he doesn’t yet know. According to Trey, Rook does appear to intend to pursue college/higher level studies.

LMAO at Trey constantly having to translate Rook-isms for everyone 😂 Classic Science Club…

Unca Weona is cwanky cuz the talking is disturbing his nappy—

Leona’s going to a mining and energy facility in his home country. It’s an option offered only to those with high grades. Leona wants to be a lazy ass 🦁 “They won’t fail their prince, lmao”

Idia is doing an software engineering internship at Olympus Corp (ie TWST Google) 👀 This is huge because back at the end of episode 5 (ie the episode 6 preview), Idia was actively rejecting offers from Olympus Corp, claiming that he wasn’t welcome anywhere. Character growth… Idia isn’t welcome back at S.T.Y.X. because of the Overblotting and how it nearly exposed the organization to the public eye LOL 😂 Absentee Shroud parents upset with him cksbskwbkcnfke

Malleus doesn’t seem to be interested in picking an internship; he says that, to him, 3 months is too short a time to really learn anything (temporal dissonance strikes again). In the end, he is going to research historical ruins?? He can hang out with the Gargoyles 😎 and Rollo/j

BRO WHAT ???? Lilia is dropping out of NRC??? THE FUQ,,,,!.’sveksbskebkzvczbvvv?$$$&85inmw I had to hard stop at this scene because it caught me by surprise.

The first years are talking about Mickey (like if there are certain conditions to get him to appear??). Oh god, they're planning a Mickey Mouse stakeout????? AND ORTHO IS INCLUDED IN THE GROUP AWWWW 🥺 He searches his databases and uses his cool robot tech to look for more information about Mickey but finds nothing.

GRIM MAKES A SUS COMMENT ABOUT HOW ORTHO IS MORE HELPFUL WITH THIS (Mickey and Yuu's worlds perhaps being tied or related to one another) THAN CROWLEY IS.

They overhear Sebek shouting in the cafeteria; he’s in disbelief that Lilia is dropping out of school.

So anyway, Lilia’s magic has, in fact, weakened significantly (he was almost late for the internship meeting because he woke up and found that he couldn't teleport). He plans on retiring in the Land of the Crimson Dragon (Mushu???? IS THAT YOU).

Interesting??? It seems that Lilia has been progressively losing his powers since even before Sebek and Silver were born… It’s not a super recent occurrence.

Sebek and Silver are understandably upset and mention that while it would be easy for either of them to visit Lilia, it would be almost impossible for Malleus because he will be so inundated with his royal duties after graduation. Malleus is distraught as well, but he insists that they respect Lilia's decision. AND HE’S LEAVING IN LIKE A WEEK? That’s barely enough time to mourn or to emotionally prepare for the fallout…

Malleus pitches an idea to talk to his grandma to not overwork Lilia (vice dorm leaders being overworked? What? In this game? Nooooooo/s).

Malleus's grandma is name-dropped (Maleficia)??? Is everyone in the Draconia family just Mal-something????

LOTS OF OMINOUS DIALOGUE ("Time is running out", "Fate cannot be defied", etc.)

After that whole conversation it’s clear that something isn’t right (despite Malleus maintaining his calm in front of Diasomnia). As soon as he’s away from them, the weather instantly turns stormy AND we see Malleus's blot accumulating as early as 7-13 in what I assume will be a very meaty episode.

Sebek and Silver help Lilia pack; Silver finds this tin in Lilia’s room. There is an old bracelet of acorns and thread inside.

Lilia shows up and says that it’s the most precious item he’s ever been gifted??? But it’s not clear who it’s from.

There's another item in the tin (the ring on a chain)! It has a weird effect on Silver?? I think it makes him sleepy???

The gem in the ring is the same color as Silver’s eyes; Lilia thinks its because his parents wanted his eyes to be forever unclouded and pure 🤨 That’s cute and all, but it makes me really suspicious that something super bad will happen later and I’m living for that—

This ring was tied to baby Silver when Lilia found him. He planned on gifting it to Silver when he's finally an adult... and now is that time 😭 Ain’t no way they’re giving us these heartfelt moments only to not tear it down later with something devastating… And?? With the ring being so fancy, there’s no way Silver isn’t descended from some rich family (or even royalty/nobility) himself??? Prince Silver real????/j cuz that ring sure does look like Princess Aurora’s crown…

Sebek pulls up with THIS fucking monstrosity?? It’s a weapon (axe???) Lilia used from back in the day (like, in war). However, nowadays he uses it to chop regular shit like wood. The weapon looks very similar to one that Maleficent’s minions use.

It's made out of a special magical ore! It’s called Mystium, and it changes shape according to the wielder’s magic.

Back to Yuu and co. staking out Mickey! Grim is finally realizing that if Yuu goes home, he’ll be alone 😔 Noooo, fur baby… Don’t be sad..

They wait for a while but get sleepy because Mickey is taking forever to appear. When Yuu wakes up, they see Malleus’s green lights and they go outside to find it’s snowing (again, because of his weird mood). He apologizes and makes the snow vanish, then confides in Yuu about his insecurities.

Malleus tells a story about how he froze the castle and some people when he was a little kid (omg Elsa core???) because because his grandma had promised to eat with him and was late or didn’t show up due to her royal duties keeping her busy. It sounds like even the palace servants were afraid of his power because of incidents like this. Like. It’s kind of implied Malleus almost killed them (Lilia says Malleus almost “lost” those people) with his magic.

Lilia was the only one who came for Malleus to check on him when he was upset, dried his tears, and tried to understand him. He comes over and frees the people that Malleus froze, then everyone starts preparing and eating shaved ice made from the ice encasing the castle (not randomly, I think it was Lilia’s suggestion).

Malleus gets jealous because he saw everyone enjoying food without him and/or he thought Lilia was angry at him. (This is the point when Lilia tells him he has great power so he has to be careful how he uses it, ie the “you almost lost the people that you’re now happily eating with at the hands of your own magic” talk.)

Lilia uses his weapon to make some shaved ice for Malleus and invited him to join in (I think this may be the same weapon Sebek finds in his room in the present???); this helped Malleus “connect” with other people, or at least invited him to join and do the same thing the others were) It’s because of Lilia that Malleus is okay with eating cold things. UM???? HELLO???? Is that why Malleus’s favorite food is ice-cream??? Or at least a part of it?

BTW LONG HAir PONYtAIL LILiA CANON yes I’m way more excited about this than I was about that entire ice story

Yuu calls Malleus lonely 💀 and Malleus is shocked because he’s so used to being alone that the thought never occurred to him…

Oh no, Malleus learned that Yuu has “found a way home” (ie Rickey Rat hunting) 🙃 he’s like. “You are leaving me as well?” AND RIGHT AFTER HE JUST LEARNED ABOUT LILIA GOING… Lilia, who has been with Malleus ever since he hatched from his egg…

Friends, family… everything and everyone he cherishes is leaving Malleus. “Even if I have great power, I have nothing. I gain nothing, I always lose. No one will invite me, not anymore.” No Lilia, No Yuu 😞 Malleus, your abandonment issues are showing—

NAUUUR not more ominous shit 😭 Not the “man, I sure do wish everyone wouldn’t go :(((( if only there was a way for me to have everything I want…” coming from the mouth of a super insanely powerful magician…

NOOOOO not Yuu unintentionally enabling Malleus… He asks if there was a way to be with your loved ones forever, would Yuu take it?????? YUU DOnT SAy YES YOU FUQQinG IDIOT… ENABLER Yuu didn’t learn from Trey/j

MaLLEUS MY duDE 😔 DOn’T PULL ANY STUPID ShIT PLEASE (ie we all know he probably will)

Aaaand that’s all for now, folks!! Lots of sketchy lines and lore centering around grandpappy Lilia 🤡

Overall, I like the direction episode 7 is going so far! I was really worried that it would focus too much on Yuu and Malleus’s relationship rather than elaborating on Malleus’s relationships with the rest of Diasomnia, but I’m glad that the main story actually touches upon how integral Lilia is to his found family—and to Malleus, of course. A lot of interesting plot points have been set up (especially surrounding Mickey and Lilia), and I’m really looking forward to seeing how those conclude 👀 I feel like we also got spoiled with character lore; I love that time is a Real Thing in TWST and the the boys are aging and thinking hard about their futures. Can’t wait for the angst to hit me full force like a truck 💕

[domoz]

Hmmm okay prompt: premise: people can, once in their lifetime, basically will the universe into granting whatever is their soulmate's greatest wish at the time they do this. Shinobi will usually save this to use as a get out of death free card (which USUALLY works, because "survive" is a pretty strong impulse when you're about to die, but not always), riches are common, as are the deaths of abusive bosses/parents/etc.

...we all know what Tobirama's greatest wish has nothing to do with being alive himself. So now they're about to die AND have to deal with Kawarama and Itama (plus or minus Hashirama depending on when you set it) who have no idea what's going on.

Oh Youve Done It Now

It's been years since Tobirama has felt this chakra. Longer still since it's been turned towards healing him.

Even with it, his whole body aches. Exhaustion piled upon exhaustion, and he'd lost track of his injuries very early into the fight. He knows only that it hurts to breathe, yet his body stubbornly continues to do it despite each inhale rattling inside of him.

He must be dying, he thinks. His mind has conjured up some fantasy to comfort him as his life fades.

"I know you're awake, otouto." Hashirama's voice, in the same tone he'd use when one of his experiments was particularly troublesome -- exasperated, but ultimately unable to hide his worry. "I'd really like an explanation."

"I think I might have one." That voice would be Hikaku's, who should not be anywhere near here, and so the one whose presence only cements this as a strange dream. "Your brother, even on the verge of death, has only ever wished for one thing."

Silence stretches, the whole world is silent and muffled except for the sense-memory of sunlight through trees as Hashirama's chakra knits together bones.

A sigh. "He did warn me. Though I suppose this did work, in its own way."

"Wait, Hikaku-san, you--"

"But you're an Uchiha!" A voice Tobirama hasn't heard in many, many years shouts. It's enough to have him forcing his heavy eyelids open -- even if it's not real, he needs to see--

Hashirama is leaning over him, curtain of hair blocking out most everything else as he heals the crater that Tobirama's chest has become. He looks younger than he did when he died, though not overly so; a snapshot from those few years when he'd gained laugh lines but not yet stress wrinkles around his eyes.

"Don't sit up." He warns, his voice is stern, but there's something fragile in his eyes, "And don't infuse chakra, or I'll knock you out again."

He wouldn't even have to make good on the threat; Tobirama would probably lose consciousness for even trying.

"'nija." He says. Is all he can make himself say between the pain and the tightness of his throat. Hashirama smiles tightly and leans back -- enough for the two figures taking refuge behind him to lean around and look at him with wide eyes.

"Wow, aniki. You got old. What happened to your face?" Kawarama.

Whether he's referring to the red slashes that Tobirama had only made after his death or one of his other injuries, he doesn't know. It doesn't matter, really.

Tobirama's eyes burn. His instinct is to look away, to hide his face, but he doesn't dare.

"That's mean, nii-san. He's hurt." Itama is grabbing onto Hashirama's robe with one white knuckled fist and Kawarama's wrist with the other. The two of them are the same age that they were when they died, the same way that they've been frozen in Tobirama's memories. Kawarama was born first, but brought back like this, Itama has a year and a few centimeters of height on him.

Kawarama makes a disapproving noise -- his eyebrows are furrowed like they did when he was worried and trying not to let it show. He glances obviously to the side, scowls at what he sees, then puffs out his cheeks and steps out of Hashirama's shadow. He doesn't go far -- only to get close enough to sit by Tobirama's head and tug at his hair -- but Itama lets himself be dragged behind and releases his grip on Hashirama to pick up his hand instead.

I missed you. He wants to say. I missed you, I'm sorry, I missed you. He knows better than to leave things unsaid, sucks in a breath to try, and it's agony. Blood stains his teeth; his vision greys and Hashirama is saying something that runs through his ears without registering. His chakra swells until Tobirama can taste it on the back of his tongue,  until it drowns out the pain behind its own presence.

He loses time. Kawarama is petting at his hair now, and Itama is mapping the scars on his hands, but both of them refuse to settle, eyes flicking up to watch some threat. Tobirama is in no state to defend them if they should need it, but he forces himself to move despite the pounding weight of his head and look.

They are, he belatedly realizes, in a dome of mokuton vines, and sitting against the far wall, hands visible on his knees, is Hikaku. And he knows why his brothers would be wary of him, but after all these years Tobirama can't see him in that light any longer.

The Uchiha smiles wryly.

"I followed as soon as I heard where you were headed." He says. "No point in having a wish that never gets used."

"So you really are soulmates." Kawarama grumbles. And Tobirama wants -- he wants to promise Kawarama that Hikaku won't hurt him. That no harm will ever come to him again. But with a slow, choking panic, he realizes that he does not even have the strength to turn his head and see him again. He squeezes Itama's hand instead, fingers trembling.

"We're at peace now!" Hashirama says, leaning back from where he was holding his hands over Tobirama's chest to wipe at his brow. Tobirama can see a sunny smile in the corner of his eye. "Just like we used to talk about."

"...Uhm." Itama says after a beat. "If we're at peace, then who were those guys you were fighting?"

"Aah, that's, well--" Hashirama glances at Tobirama first, and then remembering that he's in no state to speak turns to Hikaku instead.

The Uchiha sighs, with that slight twist of a smile that means he thinks something is ridiculous but he won't say it.

"That was supposedly one of Kumo's best squads. Your death was enough of a perceived weakness that Suna started making aggressive action to claim more land. Kumo and Iwa started targeting our shinobi shortly afterwards…"

It's a basic summary of the political situation that Tobirama has been living with for years now, and he tunes it out without quite meaning to.

All of his most important people are here, are with him. It's a nice enough sentiment to die to.

--

It's dark.

Tobirama feels like he's withered dry and might crack apart into dust if he so much as moves a muscle. The pain of breathing isn't agony, anymore, at least. More an aching pulse that rises and ebbs with each breath.

He's horribly disoriented for a long moment --truly dead, now? -- he's lying down, something soft placed over a hard uneven surface, there are two tiny motes of warmth curled up on either side of him, and there's a conversation going on above his head.  That's probably what woke him.

"I should have known he wasn't over his prejudice against your clan." Hashirama sighs, "I'm sorry--"

"I'm not going to pretend he's our greatest ally, but I don't think you would have been able to do much better." Hikaku cuts him off sharply. Having lived past the age that Hashirama was when he died, he has apparently decided to abandon the deferential respect that he used to have. "I'm certain he would love to let us fight -- keeping them back is my choice. The countries we are at war with have no laws against eye theft. They have bounties for each bloodline they can take, and ours is the highest."

Tobirama blinks, but there is no moonlight for him to see by. They'd tried to make it work. Barbaric as the Hyuga seal is, it is useful; but no matter the modifications Tobirama makes to it, Hikaku cannot get his clan to agree to use it, and without it his clan members are all targets too tempting for their enemies to leave alone. But why is he telling Hashirama this…?

"We have as much sway as any other clan in the council. You are the one who named your own brother as a successor, and got half of my clan convinced they needed more power or risk being destroyed."

Hence the military police plan, and Tobirama isn't certain it will help much. If the Uchiha can't fight on behalf of the village, fighting within it is about the only thing left for them to do -- he figured he might as well at least make it productive.

"You know," Hikaku continues, voice flat, "There was a faction of my clan that wanted to follow in Madara's footsteps. We're all trying our best, Shodai-sama."

There was a plan to assassinate him, which Hikaku dealt with before it could become public. Tobirama is thankful for that, but it has left his soulmate deeply unpopular within his clan.

This feels like a very strange way to have one's life flash before their eyes.

"I… see. I apologize. I'll speak with Tobirama before making any more assumptions." Hashirama says, clearly cowed. There is a long moment of silence, then, "…Do you truly call him by his title? When the two of you are soulmates?"

"He refuses to ruin what little authority I have over my clan by acknowledging it publicly." Hikaku's tone is harsh, now, though if he has an issue with that he's never brought it to Tobirama's attention.

A moot effort now, Tobirama thinks muzzily. Hikaku might be thinking that too, from the way he sighs.

"Tend to your brother, Shodai-sama. I'll keep watch."

The wave of chakra his brother sends over him sends Tobirama into a darkness of a different kind.

--

When he awakens again he's horribly nauseous. The weightlessness of open air alternates with a dull shock that sends a jolting ache through his body every time it happens. It's manageable; Tobirama could fight through this, if he had to.

But he won't have to. Hashirama has him, one arm secure under his knees, the other his neck, holding him tight to his chest to try and mitigate the impact of each jump.

He's moving much slower than he should be, if his goal is to get an injured person to safety.

Tobirama peels his eyes open, squinting in the wind as the treetops whip past overhead. He has enough strength in him now that he can reach up and grab at the front of his robe, though he grunts from the effort.

"Anija." He rasps. There was still so much left unsaid between them at the end. Enough that Tobirama doesn't even know where to start, aside from the obvious, "I'm--"

"Oh Tobi, good! Hashirama doesn't even seem aware that he's cut anything off. "He's awake!" He announces over this shoulder, and drops from the trees to the ground, landing with a thump. Hashirama is obviously trying to muffle the impact, but it makes him twitch and hiss in pain regardless.

He's healed enough now that when Hashirama  goes to set him down against a tree trunk he can keep himself upright, but not without his arms shaking from the effort.

"We still really shouldn't be moving you." His brother comments idly as he sends a light pulse of diagnostic chakra through his system, "I really wish we'd been able to use a stretcher. And you're going to take forever to recover your chakra after how much I had to dump into you. But if you actually rest when we get home, you should end up alright."

His hands flutter around until he finds a water skin -- Uchiha mon stamped on, so it must actually be Hikaku's -- and shoves it in Tobirama's face. He's able to get a grip on it enough to hold it himself -- the water is stale but the he relief of it sharp, settling over him like a blanket.

"Hikaku-san went ahead to alert everyone as soon as we got into safe territory." Hashirama chatters on, "There should be a patrol coming to meet us. You really had us worried there for a minute!"

As he talks, Tobirama's eyes don't move from the two figures that have landed behind Hashirama and are peering over his shoulders.

"Seriously." Kawarama says, "I don't think you've ever slept that long."

"I--" Tobirama chokes out, "I haven't died, have I?" 

"No." Itama says, eyebrows knitted together.

"You'd better not have." Kawarama echoes with a scowl

"You're the only one here who hasn't!" Hashirama smiles, like he's made a joke, but it slips right back off his face at whatever he sees when he meets Tobirama's eyes.

"Oh, Tobi…" He says sorrowfully, but Itama beats him to whatever he's planning on doing, darting around Hashirama and carefully but forcefully wrapping his arms around Tobirama's neck. Not to be outdone, Kawarama squawks and secures a hold around one of his shoulders.

Tobirama's eyes burn, and he buries his face into a bony shoulder, so he's not able to see when Hashirama moves to pull all of them into his arms. He's lived long enough that the grief of their deaths had scarred over, but this has ripped the wound gaping open wide.

"It must have been lonely." Itama says, voice muffled in Tobirama's fur.

"We're here now though." Kawarama insists. His voice wavers so he buries his face in fur, too.

“Yeah.” Hashirama agrees, chin resting on top of Tobirama’s head. “We’re all here, now.”

[notoriousbeb]

Why is Harry Styles All Over TTPD? A Timeline

TTPD Notes Glossary

Upon much ponderation and rabbit-hole-ing I think a truly stunning chunk of tracks on this double album (20) are her processing her feelings for whatever the hell happened with Harry.  

What will likely be my Haylor magnum opus is under the cut because it is a bit lengthy. Good luck. Or I'm sorry??

I think they both pined for each other for years (well documented amongst the Haylors).  

Then she split with Joe Alwyn before she left London for the Eras Tour, but she waited to make the announcement public (probably to give him time to pack up his shit and get out of their shared house) until April 8. However, excited to be “Fresh Out the Slammer,” she reached out to Harry ASAP.  

I realize I might sound like an absolute raving lunatic, but I legit think Harry was at Taylor’s Arlington, Texas, Eras Tour shows, at the end of March/beginning of April 2023, and followed her to New York City for several days. 

While Harry was tied up finishing up the Asian leg of his tour until March 25, I think he came almost straight to her after that, and love-bombed the shit out of her in his excitement.

But then right before he had to leave for tour, with a stopover in LA for the Satellite video and Late Late Show shoots, he gave her some sort of pulling-away speech about taking a pause or pulling back or something, (I’d wager because of the two world tours), which she took as a total rejection, which caused her to lose it and move on to the disaster we call Matty. 

Then, in June, he met Taylor Russell in London. And maybe they were just friends at first, but then Taylor Swift started messing around with Matty, and then in July she started dating Travis and it went public in September. So, I suppose at that point Harry figured, "Okay, to hell with it."  

And now, somewhere in London, I imagine their shared good mate, Ed Sheeran, has a pounding headache and wishes he still drank whiskey.  

I hope the truth of it all someday comes to light in a tell-all book or movie. Or, at the very least, it would be nice if some more clarity surfaces in one of their albums, or a record by Ed.  

Oh, and I think Stevie Nicks, of all fucking people, knows the tea. She considers both of them “like [her] children.” She gave them both matching crescent moon necklaces. And has performed with them. And she wrote the intro poem for this record. Read that and tell me it doesn’t match the story I’ve written in my head. Stevie knows.

And now, the timeline. @foxes-that-run Also has a much more detailed 2023 timeline that I recommend.

There are, I shit you not, about a fortnight of possible days (March 29/30-April 12, 2023) where they could have been together...

March 29/30

Harry likely leaves Toyko after his March 25 show. Love on Tour doesnt start up again until May 13 in Horsens, Denmark.

March 31

Eras Tour is in Arlington, Texas, for N1. It's a rain show. She replaces "Invisible String” with "The 1." The surprise songs were "Sad Beautiful Tragic" and "Ours." Read all my notes on TTPD and go watch these two live performances again. They're...really something.

April 1

She sings "Death by a Thousand Cuts" and "Clean."

April 2

She sings "Jump then Fall" and "The Lucky One."

April 3-6

Neither of them are seen these three days.

April 7

Harry is spotted at baggage claim in Atlanta

April 9

Harry is at the Master's Golf Tournament

April 10

Maybe this is when he leaves her. Taylor goes out for drinks with Jack and Margaret. However, this was an obvious pap walk (the day she had those butterfly jeans on); were the paps maybe called to this location to lure them away from her apartment so a certain person might or might not have could arrive unnoticed after a golf tournament in Atlanta?

April 12

In the afternoon, Harry is spotted with his trusty brown duffel bag (sporting an air travel tag) leaving the gym in LA. In NYC, Taylor is pictured on the roof of Electric Lady (maybe shooting music video?) with a Gucci lion ring just like Harry's but with a green stone. I Mr not the 10th, I think this evening was when he said whatever he said that made her so sad; maybe he thought they should take a pause until their tours were over? Maybe he decided their combined spotlights were just too big to overcome? Who knows? Not me. But my nosy ass wants to know!

April 13

Eras Tour in Tampa N1. Taylor cries during “Lover"

April 14

Eras Tour in Tampa N2. She plays "The Great War" (performed with Aaron Dessner) and "You're On Your Own, Kid."

April 15

Eras Tour in Tampa N2. She plays "Treacherous."

April 21

Eras Tour in Houston N1. She plays "Wonderland" and "You're Not Sorry" (these choices seem…significant. In a not good way.)

April 22

N2 in Houston. She plays "A Place in This World" and "Today Was a Fairytale" (for her mom, who I am sure was being a rock for her at this trying time)

April 23

N3 in Houston. She plays "Begin Again" and "Cold as You"

April 27 and 28

Harry does shoots for the "Satellite" music video and the last episode of the Late Late Show. The scenes for the music video aren't used. In my opinion his face looks puffy on Late Late (maybe from crying?)

Eras Tour Atlanta N1 Taylor sings "The Other Side of the Door" and "Coney Island."

April 30

Eras Tour Atlanta N3 she sings "I Bet You Think About Me" and "How You Get the Girl." She cries again during “Champagne Problems."

May 5-7

Ah, the Nashville Era's Tour shows. Such fond, fond memories. She sang “Sparks Fly,” “Teardrops on My Guitar,“ "Out of the Woods,” “Fifteen” (Abigail was there, and she dedicated this one to her)," Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” with Aaron Dessner and “Mine” (also Speak Now drop).

May 11

Dinner with Matty and Jack and Margaret at Casa Cipriani in NYC

Is it possible the villainy of Matty is that he planted the original story in The Sun that he and Taylor were dating? It ran May 3, two days before he showed up (from Asia) to the Eras Tour play with Phoebe Bridgers as the opening act in Nashville. I just always thought that was odd. Maybe he had a big fat mouth.

May 12

Eras Tour Philadelphia N1. She played “Gold Rush” and “Come Back…Be Here” (Aww, girl….)

May 13

LOT picks up again in Horsens, Denmark. He's smiling to himself all cute like during "Fine Line." Plus he played "Stockholm Syndrome" for the first time in yeeeears and looked delighted. :(

Taylor's surprise songs were “Forever & Always” and “This Love.”

May 15

Either way, she leaves Electric Lady studios with Matty in tow.

May 19

She plays "Should've Said No" and "Better Man." (Well, that's seems...not good.)

May 20

Ah, the day of the “Question…?” and “Invisible” combo. (Oh, Tay). Matty is seen entering Taylor's apartment with a big Louis bag full of what many people believe is the typewriter. I always assumed it was clothes or a synthesizer or some kind of equipment. ¯\_(ツ)_/

May 25

This is the last day she was seen with Matty (and the chorus of angels sang)

But, really, only he was seen outside her apartment leaving with his stuff. She wasn’t in town. 

They were never seen together again after May 15. 

May 26

Era's Tour Metlife N1. She sings “Getaway Car” with Jack Antonoff and “Maroon” (this was a very angry face Maroon).

May 27

Metlife N2. She sings “Holy Ground” and “False God," and cries.

June 22

Taylor records “The Black Dog” at Electric Lady. “Six weeks of breathing clean air,” if we’re being specific here (although she was touring and it could have just sounded good) would be May 11, 2023.

August 13

Stevie Nicks owns the opening poem for the album.

[formula1fanfiction]

Toto Wolff / George Russell

Title: The more you say, the less I know

Pairing: Toto Wolff / George Russell

Characters: Toto Wolff, George Russell, Max Verstappen, Charles Leclerc

Prompt: Can we pretend that George being sick in Abu Dhabi was actually the start of his heat but he's the only omega in the paddock and when Toto smells him he begs George to let him HELP. Thank yu

George feels like death once he finally steps out of the car, he honestly doesn't know how he survived this race without a crash and somehow managed to secure a podium.

His heat has been threatening him the whole weekend, he had tried everything to stop it coming but nothing has worked and it looks like it's finally here. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered as much if he wasn't the only omega on the grid.

Oh and the fact he's been lying about being a Beta.

He quickly swallows the scent blockers Aleix has given him and makes his way to the cool down room. He just wants to get those over with then he can go back to his room and spend his heat with his toys.

George sits as far away from Charles and Max as possible, he probably would have on a normal day considering the way those two give each other bedroom eyes, although it had always surprised him that Charles and Max are together and not Pierre and Charles. George coughs as he sits down, both drivers give him a strange look .

"What?" George coughs again as he sits down. Max is smirking at him while Charles looks absolutely disgusted in him. "Did you fuck someone?" George chokes on his water. "What?"

"You smell like a bitch in heat." Max laughs, while Charles narrows his eyes. "Yes, it's affecting me as a Beta." George's heart pounds out of his chest. "How can they still smell him?"

"You're a Beta too, right?"

Charles knows?

Charles Knows!

"Yeah." George chokes out with another cough, a whole wave of slick leaks out of him, it's a good thing he's in his race suit, because he feels like he's pissed himself through his fire proofs.

Who was he kidding with scent blockers? He's way too far gone for that.

The podium celebrations happen without any further incident, he manages to stay a safe distance away from Charles and Max and his scent is covered by the smell of champagne.    

The problems start once he finally gets back into his garage. Toto comes over to congratulate him on securing second in the constructors championship. George knows he can smell his sweet omega scent, when his team principal's eyes dilate until they become fully black. "George." Toto growls, gripping George's forearm. George roughly pulls away and makes a run for it before he becomes too far gone and begs Toto to take him right here in the garage. Denying his body what it really wants.

George whines as he enters the safety of the toilet cubicle, he slides his back against the door and pulls his knees up to his chest. He's sticky with heat and the ungodly amount of slick he's produced. He doesn't know what to do, he's stuck here now probably for the rest of his life, he can't face Toto. Not now he knows. 

He doesn't know what to do, so George does what he does best and allows himself to cry. He feels beyond ill, all he wants is a massive alpha cock in his arse. He loses track of time somewhere between crying and flooding the place with his slick, when he hears an aggressive bang on the door. Fuck.  sweat pools off him, he could do with a bang himself, a hard one with his back preferably pressed against a soft mattress.  

it's only when someone knocks again, he comes back to himself. "Who is it?" He manages to croak out. "George, it's me Toto. Are you okay?" George purrs it's unbearable having an alpha so close to him. He can smell Toto's strong alpha scent through the door and George has to do everything in his power to stop himself from begging Toto to wreck him.

"I'm perfectly fine Toto." George surprises himself with how calm and collected he sounds, maybe Toto will just get the hint and go away.  "George, I can smell it you know." That's it then, his life as he knows it is over. "Right, yes. I'm sorry Toto. If you want to just step away, i'll pack my stuff and leave."

"Don't be silly George, who cares that you're an omega? George is convinced he's delirious at this point and palms his hard cock through his race suit. "George lets me in please." Toto sounds calm, collected and not angry at all. He sounds sexy, how has George never noticed before? George forces his own palm off his cock. 

"George, I can smell you. Please, just open the door, I can help you out." The words translate in George's brain to please George let me fuck you. He shakes his head, trying to clear his mind. This can't be happening.

"Open the door George." Toto is quiet for a moment, a whole minute passes before he speaks again. "Open the door George, that's an order." The omega inside of him is screaming at him to obey an alpha's order. George would love nothing more than Toto's knot but there are mechanics out there? What if someone sees and tells the press that George is a horny omega who couldn't keep his hands off his team principal in public. No, he can't.

"I don't want to, go away." George lies, he can't take it anymore and pushes his race suit off his hips and wraps his hand around his cock still covered by his fire proofs. "I know you want me to help you George, don't lie to me."

"You being an omega won't affect your seat, I promise." George's hands shake as he scrambles to unlock the door. He's barely aware he's done it but Toto doesn't hesitate for a second, pulling him off his knees and presses himself up against George's sweaty back. "You smell so good baby."

"Do you want me to help you with your heat, sweet little omega?" Toto's hands are all over his body, he roughly spins him around and picks him up. George doesn't hesitate for a second and wraps his long legs around Toto's body. "You're so wet baby." Toto growls into his ear, palming the wet patch on George's fire proofs. "Please Toto."

George has completely lost it now, his omega instincts have fully taken over. Toto squeezes  his ass and massages the round globes, not hesitating for a second despite the amount of wetness George is leaking. George is shameless and pushes back into Toto's hand, silently begging for anything. The movement pushes Toto's hard cock into George's. It's pain and pleasure all at the same time, he can feel Toto's massive cock against his but there is far too much fabric between them. 

"Patience baby, you'll soon get what you want." George is only half aware that he's pulling Toto's clothes off, pulling at the hem of his shirt and pulling down the fly on his pants. Toto momentarily steps back and calmly removes each of the offending garments, leaving George to go insane watching him.

"Want you." George mumbles, mouth watering as he sees Toto's beautiful cock, it's so big and he wants to take it into his mouth, so badly. He wants to choke on it and be suffocated by the smell of Toto.  "let me help you George, this isn't about me."

Toto pushes George forward and bends him over the sink, George catches a glance at himself in the mirror, he's a mess, his hair is plastered to his forehead, his cheeks are burning red and his eyes are glazed over completely with lust. Toto is finally freeing him from his sticky fire proofs and purrs approvingly at George's body.

"You're so wet George." Toto groans into his ear as he pushes two fingers into George, he scissors them apart as George arches up, getting as much as he can from those long fingers. "Don't think i've ever had a bitch this wet." George moans even louder as a third finger is pushed inside and roughly slammed in and out of him.

"I don't have to fuck you, not if you don't want it George." The softness of it fucks with George's head. "I can just finger you or help you out in another way." George melts against Toto's body. "Please Alpha, I want your knot, please."

George has no shame and bends himself further over the sink and grinds his wet ass into Toto's cock. "Fuck, George." Toto grips his narrow hips tightly and it sends shock waves down Georges body. "Toto, fuck me please."

"Who would I be to deny a begging omega." Toto presses himself against George's cock and slowly starts to sink his cock inside. Toto's head rests on George's shoulder and he so badly wants Toto to bite him, claim him, ruin him. Toto starts thrusting instantly slamming into George, every thrust sends a tidal wave of slick down George's thighs.

It's not even nearly enough, George is begging for more, it feels like Toto is almost holding back. "Give me more, please." Toto gives a little sigh. "Whatever my little omega wants." Maybe George should be worried, they are not using a condom and George isn't on any birth control but he's not worried, he wants Toto to fuck him full of his pups.

Toto is holding him holding him like he's precious and might shatter in his arms, George on the other hand is pushing his hips back and getting everything he needs. He moans loudly, so damn turned on as Toto slides his hips back and slams back into him, The pace is rhythmic and fast and delicious. "You're so good like this George." George grunts as he's filled with an extra hard thrust. "Such a cute little omega, begging for your alpha's cock like that.

Toto holds George's hips in an iron grip, to stop him bumping himself into the sink and hurting himself. The omega inside George giggles foolishly at the protection from his alpha while Toto slides their bodies together perfectly, both moaning loudly in sync with each other.

"I've always know George, that you were a little omega." Toto growls into his ear, speeding up his thrusts until the sound of skin slapping against echo's around the bathroom. "As soon as you presented me with that little power point with your sweet smell and your eagerness to impress." George cries out, as Toto hits him dead on in his prostate. "And you are aren't you George? Always so submissive and responds well to praise."

"Please, I need..." George doesn't really know what he's asking for Toto seems to understand, as he angles his thrusts and slams into George's prostate with every thrust, causing the omega to cry out in pure pleasure with every thrust into his body. George comes hard, untouched the cum exploding over his already wet through body but it's not nearly enough. He whines and squirms in Toto's grip.

"What is it baby, do you need your alpha's not?" George is far too gone for words, he nods eagerly. George doesn't care about anything other than Toto's knot right now, he will happily carry Toto's pups, hopefully strong alpha's just like daddy.  

Toto thrusts into him with all his might, squeezing impossibly harder on his already bruised his hips, while his other hand pushes George's beck, down bending him open even more. George groans feeling himself open up, ready for the knot he's about to receive.

George splutters and chokes on his moans when he finally feels Toto's knot sink inside of his whole and starts swelling larger and larger. George's thoughts dominated by being a good wife and good mommy and that's even before Toto has started to spill inside of him.

When Toto's knot finally pops and fills him with that hot fertile alpha seed, he can't hold back his second orgasm and comes completely untouched.

Toto pulls out of him and sinks down to the floor with George, just holding him. George has come back to senses, at least before the next wave starts and he's so fucking embarrassed with himself, begging for knots and pups. What was he thinking?

"What are you going to do about the next wave?" Toto his helping him onto his feet. "I don't know, i've got toys and stuff back in my room." Just gives a little shrug. "Why... Why don't I help you with your heat? We've done it once what difference does a few more rounds make?" And then Toto adds as an afterthought. "We'll get you the morning after pill as well."

George is apparently more gone than he originally thought because he purrs and agrees to let Toto come back with him.       

[xuer]

kind eyes extended notes

for kind eyes on ao3

be prepared for the yap fest. please read this after the fic because there are spoilers.

1)

first of all, I wrote this fic very out of order because of several reasons. one, because my caffeine-addled brain couldn't string together a cohesive story or outline before it was begging me to put something down, and two, because I took a little bit of creative liberty with my characterization of oscar, which leads me into…

2)

oscar is usually a really analytical and cool/collected guy, very logical and realistic, but sometimes he just can't think around lando. he's in romantic/platonic love (reader's choice!), your honor. he never lets his emotions get the best of him, so when they do he has no idea how to handle it and can't even recognize it until hourssss later. his thoughts are a mess and he needs a bit of time to even begin to process what happened. when lando's in the vicinity, he's even more scattered. he's struggling to catch up, really, and he's trying desperately to read the social cues that lando is usually so open with but is kind of on and off with this time around.

he's also obsessed with lando's eyes. I mean OBSESSED. which, me too, I kind of projected hard on this part, but it shows through the fic because oscar is like, "lando look at me!" "lando please show me your eyes" "lando pay attention to me, don't avoid me" yada yada yada. it stems from lando being the kind of person where you can usually tell exactly how he's feeling. he doesn't shy away from showing his emotions on camera or in front of other people, even if they're very very ugly to look at. we kind of saw the peak of this in austria, where lando didn't mince his words AT ALL after the race despite knowing the backlash he would get (this kid will give me a stress induced heart attack one day I swear). we've seen his ups and downs, his high after scoring pole in barcelona and his crushing low after losing it, his fury after the on-track incident at the red bull ring, to his… honestly I want to say slow and steady loss of hope after silverstone. he still gives his everything in every race, he's still determined to go out there and do the best he can, but like you can tell the difference in his reaction after he got pole in spain vs in hungary - there was a very big difference and a lack of unfiltered excitement this time around. he knows what it's like to win and to be so so close to a win he can feel himself lose it. lando feels everything so strongly, and after so many disappointments and close calls he's kind of learned to protect himself in this way. going into budapest, he still expected and wanted to win, but his confidence has definitely taken a hit. oh my god this turned into a lando character analysis I'm so sorry let me cut it short and just say his eyes are so expressive and after hungary he was very subdued and oscar's internal lando alarm sounded and was like "show me your eyes!" "why won't you show me your eyes!" "even when you look at me I can't tell what you're thinking anymore something is wrong!!!" until lando does something very obvious with his face like smile at him. oscar you silly boy.

all this just to say in this fic oscar's just a bit of a dunce, and I mean that in the most affectionate, loving way possible. he doesn't know the full story getting out of the car (neither of them do) and all he cares about is if lando is mad at him, but he can't even admit that to himself so he just feels like a crazy person whenever it looks like lando might be upset and he doesn't even understand why. every bit about the dread he feels, the lightheadedness, nausea, feeling cold, etc. that's all his physical and visceral reactions to lando not looking happy, to him being scared his relationship with lando won't survive this. along the same lines, the pressure in his stomach easing up, the warmth he feels, being able to breathe and think (relatively) normally again, those are all reactions to him seeing lando react or interact with him positively. I'm sorry, but he's whipped and he has absolutely no clue. but yes, that's what the unreliable narrator tag is for.

3)

some other details I mentioned in the fic but didn't really expand on:

there's a lot of other parallels and barely touched upon details in this fic to be honest. besides the obvious and reoccurring mention of lando's eyes and oscar's desperation for eye contact throughout the whole thing, there's oscar seeing his reflection in lando's visor at the very beginning and in his own phone screen at the very end (he just wants to see lando's eyes but instead he's seeing his own, he wants to figure lando out and find out how upset he actually is with him but what he actually needs to do is look at himself and figure everything out from his own side first).

oscar doing everything on autopilot and muscle memory at the beginning because he's still sorting things out in his brain, cringing at himself a lot which isn't normal behavior but he genuinely does not know what to do or how to act in this situation, only rebooting just in time to give some non-answer to nico in his interview and barely coming fully back online when lando first actually talks to him, how it really doesn't hit him that he won (HE ACTUALLY WON. THIS TROPHY IS HIS.) until he's basically (almost) alone in a familiar setting after he has time to process everything.

lando procrastinating taking off his helmet because he, too, needs time to school his expression into something. decent.

lando being uncharacteristically quiet in the beginning, silently congratulating oscar in the car, silently acknowledging him. silently motioning for him to get to his interview, his first actual words being trivial and ultimately meaningless small talk ("no big fumbles. good interview.") he's still teasing oscar, he wants oscar to know they're okay, but he still needs time to process what he lost, lick his wounds a little, needs to cool off for a bit before he can start to actually be genuinely happy for oscar's achievement. it's why it takes him until after the interviews, the cooldown room, the podium, when they're both alone (3 hours later) for him to finally muster up the strength to text oscar an actual heartfelt congratulations.

and his simple "you will" at the end of the first section is his unwavering belief that oscar won't stop here, he'll keep rising, this is nowhere near his peak as a driver, despite what lando wants or wishes for in regards to his own career, wrapped up as a nice little generic reassurance. oscar catches the weight of the words, but he doesn't know what it means exactly. yet.

oscar in the cooldown room expecting to eventually get a verbal knockdown from lando (max his best friend on the grid someone he's known for a decade wasn't even safe a few weeks ago, oscar's nobody special in comparison, lando's definitely mad he got prickly at LEWIS OF ALL PEOPLE oscar is not safe) so he's trying to find the right thing to say but then lando notices him floundering and trying to fix things for him so he just deflates and apologizes to lewis and smiles at oscar.

mclaren social media admin (who is faceless and genderless and honestly only in this fic because of reasons discussed in section 5) mentioning that oscar seems happier alone just staring at his trophy, which, again, yeah it only just registered for him, but also, he's in the comfort of his driver room with no actually hostile cameras around so he isn't on high alert for every move he makes and lando isn't here so he can actually think! hurray!

another kind of obvious one is the texts. oscar's knee-jerk reaction to seeing a message from mark, someone who's supposed to be on his side all the time, is negative? he's very surprised at himself and he doesn't know it's because he knows mark dislikes lando and can already envision how his opinion will only worsen after today. he's like noooo don't hate him I don't even know why I'm defending him I'm upset at what he did too but I hate that you hate him. absolutely zero below-surface level thoughts. soooo real.

also oscar's contact names for them (bless his heart), how mark uses correct spelling and punctuation while lando's dyslexic ass just wings it (and how some of the only messages without misspells are his congratulation messages because he painstakingly typed those out ok?), lando calling oscar by name and not any of the stupid nicknames he came up with that oscar secretly hoards close to his heart, and the timestamps, ugh. and yes, mark's last message is a reference to red bull and multi 21. sorry, even the commentators mentioned it and you want me to not bring it up in the fic? [loud buzzer noise] never. lando is also very much running away from everything that's why he's hiding out on max's private jet they can both wallow and drink their sorrows and beef with their engineers away together 30,000 feet in the air.

throughout the fic as well, you can kind of note the changes in tone. the beginning focuses a lot on minuscule details, how oscar feels millisecond by millisecond, because that's all he's able to process at the time. as the fic progresses, oscar's internal monologue gets less self-judgy and gets its snark back. it goes from "god, he doesn't know how lando does it" and "what is wrong with him today?" and speeds up as he goes back to normal and starts being... well, funny again. "after lewis has enough of waterboarding them both" "his phone starts up its never-ending seizure of notifications again" like ok king we're so back.

and then it proceeds to all come crashing down again.

oscar's (loud QUOTE UNQUOTE) "sickness" (read: unintelligible mixed feelings) makes a reappearance when he's listening back on lando's radio messages because he had no idea to the extent of what will was saying to him and it is extremely shocking I'll give him that. even I was like. jaw on the floor when I found out. because your engineer, the little guy in your ear, is the one person you're supposed to be able to trust unconditionally. they are the ones keeping you out of harm's way, the ones keeping you from crashing, your direct and only link to the rest of the team connecting you to the mechanics and the pit wall, the person telling you the strategy, like. it's not the norm, but it is also not entirely uncommon for when a driver switches teams to literally take their engineer with them. that's how instrumental they are to a driver's race, and it takes a lot of time to build up that trust and rapport. mclaren has a separate underlying issue where lando for some odd reason has three different race engineers that just switch out between weekends and it's SO ODD but that's a whole different story. point is this - a driver's race engineer messing up and giving out of date/incorrect information to them by accident is one thing, but a driver's race engineer guilt tripping and straight up lying to their face is another, and it is a hugeeeee no no. will joseph did that to lando, and now that trust might be completely broken. as one driver to another, oscar knows exactly how big of a deal this was. it's something he never expected from them.

at the very end after oscar realizes what exactly happened during the race and watches the compilation video and realizes despite everything lando is still so so genuinely proud of him for winning, he feels so many mixed and indistinguishable emotions that he's just kind of in shock for lack of a better word, which is why it kind of just... ends like that. sorry guys, it's going to take him another few hours to work through that one as well.

and again, the eyes. the entire point of this fic is centered around lando's eyes and how he expresses his emotions through them, and how oscar is so used to looking at them to tell how lando is feeling, so that's why he's always so desperate to actually be able to see his eyes. lando is genuinely happy for oscar winning, but it's incredibly bittersweet (and I explain more why in section 4). the pit in oscar's stomach starts out as dread, that lando's pissed and won't continue to be on good terms with him, it fluctuates up and down whenever he thinks lando is happy for him or mad at him, and gnaws away at him for the rest of the fic before eventually settling on a combination of fear that their relationship will never be the same again and guilt that although what happened was something he couldn't control and wasn't even aware about until much later, it still happened, and despite it all lando still looks at him with the kindest eyes. it's sickening to think about.

4)

some things I didn't get to add into the fic because one, I couldn't figure out where to fit them, and/or two, my wrists are close to giving up and I need to clock out for the day. I have just used up all my writing inspiration for the next year.

anyways, part of the original reason why I wrote this in the first place was because I was reading some other new landoscar fics about what happened and (absolutely no shade to them!!!!! I want to stress) I didn't agree with some of the ways they portrayed lando or oscar. ultimately, they're both f1 drivers. they're both selfish, they wouldn't be on the grid if they weren't. lando didn't want to give up the position because he's selfish and is desperate for that second win. oscar wanted him to because this is the strategy they agreed on earlier that day and he also wants that first win, even though TECHNICALLY prioritizing the driver ahead in wdc rankings wouldn't necessarily be a wrong call. they're each other's closest competitors, all they have as an equal comparison is each other, and they know it. lando has his pride as someone older, more experienced, who has been with the team a much longer time than oscar has. he had to wait more than five years for his first win. oscar gets one almost dropped in his lap just a year and a half into his career when he didn't have to stick with a singular team through all their trials and tribulations, when he wasn't lugging a glorified shoebox into the points for all of 4 years amidst criticism of renewing with the same team again? it's not fair. oscar plays the team game because he's biding his time, he is intimately aware of his position in the team as the second driver, but he lucked out to be at a mclaren because it's currently the only front running team that acts like it's still in the midfield and prioritizes "being fair" over a championship. he knows if he follows the rules normally he can capitalize on them being "fair" again and he'll have a chance to prioritize himself. both of them know this and if there's an opportunity to win, no matter the situation, they'll capitalize it. it's not actually really fair to either of them, but that's the nature of f1, and no one should be blaming either of them for their line of thinking.

got a little away from me there again, but you get the point. neither of them really blame each other for acting the way they did in hungary, but at the same time both of them blame each other for not acting better, if that makes sense. oscar is not going to apologize for asking for team orders to be honored. lando is not going to apologize for waiting until the last possible minute to let him through. oscar was going to do anything for the race win. lando needed to prove his point. in f1, this is how it works. both of them are warring with emotions of happiness, guilt, pride, etc. and it just turns into a mess.

oscar is thrilled by his first win, but it's tainted by shame of the way he had to win it, how he wasn't really good or fast enough for it, and guilt of making lando give up the lead. lando is pissed that he lost out on yet another race win, genuine happiness at seeing oscar succeed, and crushed pride of being treated like a second driver and berated on live tv because of this so called fairness. still, deep inside, lando wishes he could have ignored that strategy call until the very end and just took the win. still, oscar does not regret winning this race, no matter how it ended up happening or what anyone else had to do.

there's also the whole thing about lando starting his interviews off with "the team messed up" and somehow progressing into "I didn't deserve to win", missing scenes from media pen interviews, the press conference, etc, how he blamed himself for his bad start while nico rosberg the man himself was like lol no that was not your fault??? and chewed andrea Stella out on live tv, backstory on mark's one sided beef with lando, events after oscar's immediate reaction when he realizes the truth and how he would war with himself but still end up being selfish and glad he won and feeling even more guilty about it, the tense team debrief, lando being miserable, the subdued meal with the rest of the team after lando hightailed it out of there at the earliest possible opportunity, oscar's lonely plane ride home, the possible dinner with mark, eventual confrontation or closure ("you never did answer nico properly back there, did you doubt I'd give the position back?"), and so many others... but I never planned on including a lando pov in the first place which a lot of these scenes wouldn't work without, and also oh my god my wrists.

I wish I could have included all of this in the fic somewhere, but disjointing rambling on tumblr will have to do instead.

5)

lastly, and I promise this is the very last section, I tried my best to stay as close to actual events possible for a lot of televised scenes, but f1 broadcasts are notoriously stingy with letting people rewatch things that didn't happen in the race itself, especially since I. do not pay to watch this stuff lol. so I had to scour social media and youtube for clips of lando's radio messages, the post-race interviews with nico, what happened in the cooldown room and on the podium (rip lando he's being torn to shreds right now but it's ok I support his rights and wrongs), etc etc etc

there are still some things I'm not too sure about (i.e. the order of events, some quotes, non-televised events) so I took a bit of creative liberty regarding those. I'm pretty??? sure??? it went both park in parc ferme > lando congratulates oscar while he's still in the car > lando doesn't go to the team while oscar goes to them > both get weighed > both do the outdoor interview for podium finishers with nico (in finish order so oscar, lando (paraphrased), and lewis (not pictured but just imagine him flirting with nico and that's basically what happened)) > cooldown room > podium > media pen interviews (not pictured because at this point I just wanted it all to be over and I didn't watch them anyways) > press conference (also not pictured for the same reason) > go back to drivers rooms and clean up > team debrief (also not pictured partially for the same reason and partially because what I had was already a decent stopping point)

so again for all of this I tried to base it on real footage as much as possible. it basically matches every single move for move from the beginning until the interviews with nico (the question nico asked and oscar's response are both real quotes, lando and oscar's little interaction at the tables afterwards is partially real but the dialogue was written by me because I couldn't hear what they were saying). the cooldown room scene was my own little fix-it for lando because god he stresses me out sometimes (lovingly) but the overall events written did happen.

the podium is more accurate to what actually happened. randy was actually up there, god forbid, but the broadcast angle gets really awkward and crops lando out of a lot of the celebrations because he goes into the corner, so I'd say it's almostttt move for move again.

for the driver room scene, the social media admin is literally only there because I needed to fit in the part where oscar just lovingly gazes at his trophy and soaks it in a little (this also did happen check mclaren social media) and for that I needed for one, the trophy to get to him somehow, and two, someone filming him while he's making his trademark heart eyes at a lump of ceramic. everything after that is obviously events I came up with. there's no one video I referenced for lando's radio messages but they're all real quotes and you can find them... multiple places online. the second video that oscar watches is completely made up, but it also probably exists somewhere. those two can't exactly take their eyes off each other.

aaaand I think that's it! honestly, this is just all rambling that couldn't fit within the character limit in the fic end notes, and like I stated above, won't make sense unless you read it. if you got this far thank you so much and also I'm so sorry for subjecting you to this. let me know what you think about the fic itself by commenting there or about these notes by replying here or sending an ask... at your earliest convenience! (hah.)

[centrally-unplanned]

As I am now full-in on the body count section of The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere, I do have growing complaints about how it handles its sort of mystery build-up and reveal aspects. There is an adage for mystery novels to "have your answers ask more questions"; you set up a mystery, you *resolve* the mystery, but that resolution itself just creates deeper mysteries. This of course works very well to keep ratcheting up tension and keep the story moving forward; but it also resolves tension at the same time, you do actually get answers as you go. As an author you can perhaps think of there being a "quota" for the number of active questions for the reader to be considering; if you stack too many at once its both too hard to track them and is frustrating to read about, the story never delivers.

TFTBN breaks this rule; not every time, but a lot. In particular with Su's identity/trauma origin it happens all the time, you get literally dozens of "more mystery" moments behind it before you ever get any answers around it. Its just too coy by half! Why is my narrator like deliberately hiding their own thoughts from the reader across dozens of instances where those thoughts would be extremely relevant? The tension has already been ratcheted to the max, you can set it aside for a bit if you want but if you dangle the question in front of me too often it loses impact.

And even though now we have been getting answers, its *still* playing coy. You have a flashback to a scene of child Su being confronted by Ran over her identity mystery, and she breaks down and starts to explain it, and then the scene just cuts, so you only get a half an explanation. Which is enough to pretty much piece it together, so like the tension is gone? Now when you are coy about it (multiple times after that scene!) its a little lame actually, who ya fooling! But what it did is take away the opportunity to just have a really good scene. You cut away from a character's moment of emotional revelation and interpersonal confrontation.

Mysteries, to simplify of course, do two things for the reader; they make you turn the page in your desire to know more, and they set up dramatic stakes for their reveal in scenes. Its a balancing act ofc but you don't want to sacrifice the latter to keep baiting the former.

I feel this too around the "villain faction" for the story. Right now the villain faction is a virtually-unknown group of actors who have had no interactions or relationships with any of the characters, using mystery tactics to kill people. We are many chapters into that plot, multiple people of note have died, but they are still just strangers - their stated motives minimal and seemingly farcical.

Ofc I am no fool, I understand via meta knowledge and have picked up on the hints they have dropped that they will in fact not be strangers in full - I get how stories work. The problem is that meanwhile we have had like multiple scenes of the group having the traitor debate - "is it one of us?" But that question is silly because I *know nothing about the villains* of substance. Why would any of these classmates betray their group for them? We have no info on that. Oh sure sure I have these like, tiny *mechanical* hints. Like one time Seth? He gave a thumbs up to Ezekiel, when they were supposed to be mad at each other. Sus, my dudes. But that isn't a *motive*, right? Its not a compelling story, its just data. Because the story wont resolve any of its dangling questions, the idea that any of these people is a traitor is just dumb, you would have to like explain the entire plot in one infodump to sell it as interesting. By insisting on drip-feeding every mystery, instead of chained resolution-renewal, these plot threads aren't developed enough to work when they need to.

I do think this comes back to the fundamentals of the pacing issue - there is essentially a desire for this story to be longer than it is. Its a 3000 page book (equivalent ofc), but it isn't, not really. I am ~1000 pages into it I guess, but its probably not even ~500 pages in actual content. I could do this in definitely 400. And this is more than just a padding problem - its that structural thing, to make that length work and still be decent as a story (which it is, its a good story overall) you have to sort of chop up your big moments , which sort of kills them.

Like there is a character, Jia Fang, a fellow student who doesn't go with the group, but is mentioned a bunch as a sort of wild card, and its built up right? They are totally gonna show up somehow, there is tension about what they are up to, and then bam, they literally burst through the door. Its great, they make a huge impact, the chapter ends on that cliffhanger.

And then after maybe a few paragraphs with them the next *multiple chapters* are about a conversation between other people, about other topics where Fang is barely mentioned, and then literally, literally, we get multiple other student's academic thesis presentations, before the plot that Fang showed up to be involved in kicks back into gear. Its self-sabotage right, the literary moment broken apart because the story has to hit quota.

Its certainly a case where the serial nature of the publication would make it ludicrously difficult to fix, that I totally get. Art is really, really hard.

[ssailia]

Exposed secrets || Lo’ak x fem!reader

SUMMARY: Kiri tells you about Lo’ak’s crush in front of him.

WARNINGS: fluff, friends telling secrets, Lo’ak is a cute simp, angst if you get a pair of thick ass glasses lenses and search for it

rushed bc its literally 11pm and i have plans tomorrow

Loak had always loved you. When he saw you for the first time, he could only admire your beauty. He found you mesmerising, perfect for him. You were humorous, just like him. You are training to be a warrior, just like him, and your similarities were the reason why you two became friends.

Best friends, actually.

You would do anything together. You were with Lo'ak during his Iknimaya, and vice versa. You cheered him on when he was bonding with his own ikran, and vice versa. You would sneak out of home tree with him, and finding the most humour in it when you two would get caught and then he would get into trouble.

When you guys were younger, Loak would be teased by other children in the clan about his fourth finger, and you were there to defend him every time he felt vulnerable. More reason added to why Loak loves you.

You two liked to compete with each other, when it comes to arguments, aim training, who finishes their food first, et cetera, anything you two would do would always end up in prioritising your winning or losing board.

“Lo’ak! Hurry up! We’re gonna get caught!” You tugged onto Lo’ak’s arm, pulling him out of home tree while he was still in his tired state.

“Did you have to wake me up during the middle of the night?!” He whisper-yelled, expecting his father to come out of nowhere and scold only him for his mischievousness. “I hate it when you put all the blame on me when we get caught.” He rolled his eyes, snatching his arm away from you to walk on his own.

“Yet you still happen to love me.” You turned around while jumping to leave a peck on his cheek. “And I love you too.” Lo’ak knew you only meant ‘love’ platonically; why would you tell someone you love them when you’re in risk of confessing your feelings?

“Of course.”

In your eyes, you tell him you love him as a way of hinting your feelings for him, but it seems like he doesn’t reciprocate those feelings, due to his fugitive and brief replies.

Momentarily, you had continued on your safe track on one of the thick and curvy branches of home tree. That was until you misplaced your foot and slipped. You let out a squeal, followed by Lo’ak’s scream, and you were able to catch onto something on the same branch to prevent you from falling. You felt pain beginning to swell around your abdomen, but you were too occupied trying to pull yourself up to check.

Lo’ak had released his breath that he unknowingly held due to shock, and hunched his back over with his hands on his knees to show how relieved he is that you weren’t hurt.

Lo’ak aided you in pulling you back up onto the branch, and pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, mainly to let himself know that you were still alive.

“Don’t ever do that to me again kiddo.” He whispered into your ear.

“Okay fuck off with the nicknames, Lo— haa!” You gasped in pain when Lo’ak tightened his hold on you, and it seemed like his touch affected your weak spot.

“Oh shit, did I do something?” He pulled away from you, but left his hands resting on your shoulders and scanned your body. A red stain on your stomach caught his eye, and it was a large slit on your side. He looked on the side of the branch and saw a stump sticking out of it, and he quickly assumed that was what caused your pain.

“Let’s get you back to Kiri- dad!” Lo’ak helped you up before seeing another blue individual standing in front of him.

“What are you two doing up? And Y/N, what happened to your stomach?!” Jake’s expression changed quickly when he was aware of your wound, and thought it was better if you headed to Kiri and Mo’at’s infirmary to get your wound patched up.

Lo’ak thought it would be best if you guys woke up Kiri, because his grandmother is not a pleasant person to be treated by.

ᕕ✿︿ᕗ

Jake had went back to bed after delivering you to Kiri, too stressed to bother with any more teenage problems.

“I can’t believe you two had to wake me up because of your guys’ recklessness.” Kiri complained, gathering some yalnabark and a cloth.

“It was all Y/N’s fault! She was the one who woke me-“

“Hush, Lo’ak, people are sleeping.” You glared at him, which silenced him. He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes when he realised you won again.

“I get why you love her, Lo’ak. She’s such a compassionate person, while also having a hint of mischief.” Kiri chuckled. You had processed what she said in your brain, before widening your eyes and realising what she had said. Kiri froze while applying the yalnabark to your side, showing the same shock as you.

“Kiri!” Lo’ak yelled, but not loud enough to wake up any of the villagers. Lo’ak had buried his face into his hands, embarrassed of what Kiri had told him, in front of who he loves. “Oh this is so embarrassing!” He cursed before rushing out of the tent.

“I am so sorry Y/N. I get it if you don’t like him back, he’s always complaining to me about how you don’t like him. He’s a rule-breaking kid I know! And-“

“I love him too.” You had confessed to her, while still staring at the same spot of the tent you had been staring at since Kiri exposed Lo’ak.

“Well- I think you should go to him after. I really don’t want him mad at me for the rest of my life.” Kiri rushed her work before packing up and shooing you off. “Go! I need some sleep..”

ᕕ✿︿ᕗ

You had arrived at a secluded area near home tree. You and Lo’ak would sometimes hang out there when you two snuck out, and that place is the only place you know Lo’ak would be.

There was a pool of water there, and you and your best friend redecorated that area so it looked as beautiful as the forest. You two placed rocks on the border of the pond, and you guys planted water floras, and land floras, to make the area look more pretty. Some of the plants had a bioluminescent glow to them, which is why you two planted them there as well - to provide a source of light.

When you arrived, you saw Lo’ak’s hunched back facing you, and his legs were in the water, swinging back and fourth.

“Lo’ak..?” You had called out to him.

He quickly turned around, recognising the sound of your voice. He became a bit frantic, trying to find something to explain his feelings to you, make it seem like it was a misunderstanding, turn things back to where they weren’t awkward.

“Y/N! You see- I can explain-“

“Do you.. really love me?” You felt a twinge of hope in your heart, but you kept yourself concealed, in case it was a misunderstanding.

“I-“ Lo’ak had paused before continuing. “Yeah.. who wouldn’t? You’re pretty, you’re funny, and you are a great warrior-“

You had cut Lo’ak off with a kiss, your hands stuck to his cheeks to keep him close. You became aware of not giving him consent, and you were swift when pulling away.

“I- I’m so sorry.” You muttered, hanging your head down in apology.

“It’s okay.. you- you can kiss me whenever.” Heat spread around Lo’ak’s cheeks, and he inched closer to you, tilting your head up to face him, before slowly leaning in.

When your lips connected, it was like your whole bodies connected. Lo’ak’s arms wrapped around your waist, while yours were left hanging over his shoulders.

It felt like a moment in heaven with Lo’ak, and it was so ethereal. You had doubted that he would ever like you; and that was because of your ongoing friendship that lasted eight years, and you saw no signs of intimacy until now.

You pulled away to catch your breath.

“I see you, Lo’ak.”

“And I see you, my love.” A tint formed on your cheeks, and you looked away while smiling, happy that you got what you yearned for for years. “Looks like I win.” Lo’ak told you.

[aribluart]

Obito and Kakashi, and the "topos" of journey- part 1: Obito

(An I-tried-analysis-sorta-meta inspired by literature. Mostly, there will be references to the "Orlando furioso", and only when I finished to write this on Word I noticed that there are even more common elements. Never thought that one day I could find connections between a manga and an Italian chivalric poem, but there it is.) Note: this is very long and I had to divide it in two. Also, Kakashi's part probably makes no sense. Sorry for that. Something that I have always find intriguing, it's the relevance of "topoi". "Topoi" it's the plural form of "topos" (from ancient greek "τοπος", with the meaning of "place"); a "topos" is an element of rethoric, used when talking about "clichés"; more precisely, a "topos" is a recurring narrative theme. A "classic" example is the "locus amouenus", a recurring theme in Latin literature: an ideal place characterized by calm and peace, usually used as setting for poems (i.e: "Eclogues" by Virgil); those were places immersed in the wild nature, most of the time a clearing and were viewed as the only places where one could find true peace and their own"true self". Naturally, the "topoi" can be found in every type of arts, especially in painting. After this harangue of an introduction, let's get to the real analysis. In one of my previous post, I wrote that Obito and Kakashi are human characters. Other than that they are, also, characters who symbolize two different kind of living or, rather, two way to think, apparently discordant together but that can coexist without any problems; in fact, it's not strange that one and the same person agrees with both ways. How many said before, Obito and Kakashi are "the two sides of the same coin". Anyone can have the "gut response" as Obito and the "internalization" as Kakashi. Both reactions can coexist: for example, how many times happens to reply in a rage while, inside, we feel the opposite and hide it?

[Now, let's go back to the "topoi" for a moment: they are too many to keep track and it's impossible to try and make a complete list. This analysis is about the topos of "journey", which include inner, physical and the search for something (i.e: Odysseus's return journey back to Ithaca, Orlando's journey to the moon to retrieve the bottle with his wits)].

Both Obito and Kakashi are characters shaped by an inner journey. With Obito we have a character who, in spite of what's happening around him, he try to bent the world and its events at his will, but always following his initial dreams: bringing peace to the ninja world and rebuilding the society with a new system (like he himself implied in his "talk" with Kakashi when they were kids).

The not insignificant change from when he was a kid, it's the method to fulfill his once dreams. Like I wrote in a previous post, his are understandable reactions. I don't condone in any way his actions and, personally, I don't like how his redemption was done (yes, I'm against capital punishment), he should have had the chance to remedy to his crimes in another way. We readers have the privileged position of an outsider, which let us see the story in its entirety. It's should not be forgotten that the crucial moment that have dyed with darkness his initial dreams happened when Obito was young. At the tender age of thirteen/fourteen, Obito saw his entire world flipped and crumble right before his eyes. To him, Rin's suicide through Kakashi was, indeed, a "wake up to reality" as Madara planned. Obito and Naruto are extremely similar, we all know that, and Obito's reaction its levels far superior to any reactions Naruto has in the manga. Not even a minute after awakening his Mangekyou, Obito use his new abilities with frightening accuracy and instinct, both originated from the understanding that he has nothing left to lose, because he already lost everything: and from here, his obsessive view of the reality it's born. All that initial rage, dismay and loss developed with the years, culminating in the final understanding of the fallacy of the entire world. But, despise having lost everything because of Madara plan (and Obito even exceeded Madara's expectations), Obito has not lost his dreams. Obito is so engrossed by the "infinite Tsukuyomi" project because it's now the only way and method he has to achieve those dreams. There's something that it's not talked about enough, and it's that even dreams have two face. The world isn't and has never been totally good or bad, but is both; and everything has its pro and cons. Obviously, to Obito the cons of the project "infinite Tsukuyomi" are nothing in comparison to the pros. Naruto defined his actions, justifiably, as selfish and egocentric. But this selfishness and egotism are nothing more than a brew of a "negative" journey. Okay, so, how I wrote above, the "journey" it's a typical theme in literature. A "journey" bring change, inner and external, and there are countless examples of this. In this post, the focus is on the "inner journey" which, usually, involves the search for something, a recurring theme in "chivalric romance". Mostly, the "inner journey" it's always "positive": the main character is searching for something that could help them, or something that can be useful for the common good. Obito's journey is the opposite: the start has a good purpose as goal, but his journey has a rocky "middle" and soon it dismantles what make him Obito. It's no coincidence if his journey is portrayed with the assuming of different identities: the "leader", conferred by Madara (and we could easily define that scene as a "knighting ceremony") and the "Harlequin" (yes, I called Tobi "Harlequin" for a specific reason). But, maybe there is a third identity, the "maestro", that we could consider the closest to the real Obito. His journey bring Obito to an annihilation of his "ego" (I'm sorry, I swear I don't want to talk about philosophy and psychology. From now on in this analysis, I'll use "self" instead of "ego"), an attempt to "destroy" himself and that bring him to later identify himself as "nobody" (and I realize that I made a prior reference to Odysseus...again, not my initial intent). But, as I wrote above, the dreams and wishes of Obito remained the same after the years, it's the method to achive them that has changed. He is still the same old Obito, even though Kakashi doesn't think so (at first). Obito it's the same Obito of the past because his "self" has remained the same. Obito's journey starts as "negative" and it ends "positive"; its a journey that took him to the understanding of what is the growth of a person, the awareness that we change physically but our core (i.e: our emotions and our ideals) it's the same, just "matured", even if we hide it.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Munakata and Fushimi always find each other after reincarnation. But what if Munakata is so close to enlightenment that the next lifetime he won't be reborn?

Why do I imagine Munakata just facing the universe and being like ‘no thanks, perhaps we can save enlightenment for another life’ because he hasn’t had enough time with Fushimi yet. I could see them ending up in a cycle where Munakata no matter what situation he’s born into he always manages to ‘rise’ in some way — even if he’s the poorest of the poor, even if he’s scrambling to survive, he always somehow finds a way to turn that life around and become someone great (and of course that definition varies constantly, he’ll be a poor but amazing philosopher or a revolutionary fighting a losing war, but he’s always someone with a vision). By contrast Fushimi often gets unlucky in his reincarnations, even if he’s born well off to loving parents something almost always happens to throw his life off track. And in those points right when he needs someone he runs into Munakata, and has this sense that the two of them have met before.

The more the cycle of reincarnation turns the more enlightened Munakata becomes, to the point he is largely aware of his past lives in a way normal people would not be. That’s the point where he always begins to seek out Saruhiko, because for Munakata there is little point in living another full life without the person he loves. Fushimi doesn’t remember things the way Munakata does but he always has the sense of it too, like the first time they meet in one life Fushimi says it’s annoying and cliche but it seems like Munakata is someone he’s been looking for. Munakata smiles brilliantly and says he understands the feeling, and it’s enough for him that Fushimi at least recalls this much.

Eventually Munakata becomes aware that he’s transcending something, that there’s little else for him to do in his next lives beyond finding Fushimi, and he realizes that he won’t be reborn much longer. Munakata has always been determined to live out his lives to the fullest even knowing about reincarnation so that doesn’t change anything for him, if all he can give Fushimi is the most love in this life that’s enough for him. At the same time Munakata Reisi has never been one to lie down in the face of a certain fate and I could see him trying to forcibly return himself to the cycle of reincarnation if that’s what it takes. Even if it means he will never reach enlightenment or that he’ll have to deal with other lives that could be full of suffering it’s something Munakata is willing to suffer through just to keep Fushimi by his side until they can both reach enlightenment together.