#and speaking of parallels (there are so many) i think this album was built to ensure jm is on equal footing with a certain someone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ileftherbackhome · 2 years ago

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Hey building on my previous statement as I forgot to ask but what are your thoughts on lavender have not being a love song or about Joe? For me lavender definitely has a saphic accossication to it but I'm more interested in your thoughts towards the relationship she describes as a whole? In right where you left me she refers to a girl who 'lives in delusion' sort of like being trapped in a haze. For me lavender haze is the earlier version of that where she believes this person could be the one but also wants to "stay in the haze" meaning that she doesn't really want to believe that this person is good for her or that its meant to be but she's so adamant to stay in delusion that she blocks out any flaws this person may have so that she can have the ideal version she made up in her mind? This also parallels 'ours' when the entire song was about her being blinded by this guy and choosing to ignore anyone or anything who tells her different, like she was blinded by a haze? I dunno maybe im reading too much into this but I would really like to hear your thoughts and ideas on this song?

This was such a good song to ask me about because I've gone such into such a spiral about Lavender Haze since I've read this.

I'm going to start by saying that I don't think Lavender Haze is a "love song," I think it's a "song about love," in particular the shift in mentality that Taylor has had recently about what love is and means to her. Taylor is what I call a modern day romantic poet, and I do mean that in the literary term. The way she has written her songs since ts1 is very romantic, but in midnights she introduced us to her idea of what romance is- not what she thinks people want to hear from her.

I agree that there are parallels that she draws to her old work but I don't necessarily think the subject of the song is an unhealthy partner (I think she is comparing and contrasting relationships before and after joe in the song, so the you is joe that she is speaking to imo). Rather I think she is listing the ways her relationships with Joe is a complete 180 to every past relationship she was in, all of which were unhealthy in some way or another.

In particular, I think 1989 is about her eating disorder (or rather the songs written reflect how sick she was mentally) and midnights is about her eating disorder recovery (I think many of the songs on midnights reflect this what if I never met John meyer/what if I was never forced into the closet vibe). I think midnights the album was thought up years in advance because 1989 was written when taylor was aware of her eating disorder and wanted to change so i think she decided to write midnights about her recovery a long time ago.

The reason I bring this up is because Taylor as a young girl was deeply entrenched in patriarchy. Her discography is very white from ts1-ts5, and the desires she expresses in those albums (esp the first 2) is very much "pick me" behavior. Like, I don't know how else to describe it other than that but what I'm really getting at is the desire that women, especially white women, are forced to cultivate by society that the only form of validation that exists is the white male stamp of approval.

Ts5-ts10 on the other hand tell the story of a white woman becoming more political aware and fighting within the constraints of patriarchy still to change that narrative she set for herself in the first half of career. I dont think she really shattered her good girl image until midnights, because midnights is her first retrospectively honest album where she says brutally honest things to her fans throughout the record.

In that vein, I think taylor is referring to swifties when she uses "they" in Lavender Haze. In particular, I think she is finally ditching all the patriarchal talking points that she built her career on in Lavender Haze. This is why the very first lyric is "meet me at midnight." This is why she promoted that lyric in the album announcement, because he wanted us to pay attention to the lyric and to this song in particular. Of course, "meet me at midnight" and its double meaning has been pointed out by much smarter folks than I but I will point it out just so you understand why I think she is saying meet *me* (Taylor) at midnight as in meet who she is and what she truly thinks about life in this album.

Then, I think we go into the first verse where she is talking about how Joe and her often lie in bed together without speaking too much in comfortable silence and how even when she is depressed, he doesn't take it personally because he *understands* her without her having to say it. This is a subtle subversion of all the "yearning" she sings about in the first half of her discography.

Baby Taylor was very much needing male approval with songs like you belong with me, I'm only me when I'm with you, invisible, teardrops on my guitar, hey Stephen, etc etc etc. I'm not going to listen every song where this version of taylor shines through but you get my drift. It's so present in debut, fearless, and speak now but then she gets groomed twice and that drastically changes her.

In these songs at the beginning of her career, she constantly sings about how if a man just got to know who she was, they'd love her forever. She also sings about love being unhealthy (painting love as a battlefield, because of heteronormativity normalizing abuse in relationships). In Lavender Haze, she subverts that version of herself by showing us what it actually means to have a person know who you are.

It's not screaming I love you in the rain after dramatic blowout arguments, it's not about playing games and manipulating outcomes, it's just laying in bed and being close to one another without feeling the pressure to speak all the time. It's your partner sensing that you're depressed but not taking your sadness personally because they know you'd communicate your issues if there were any. It's about your partner knowing how to comfort you without having to ask for it because you've put in the hard work of getting to this point through honesty and commitment to one another.

I also think the "scrutiny" she is referring to is her fandom and her fans constantly making up rumors about her love life. I think this song, she is mostly telling her fans to stop making up rumors about her relationship and to focus on her music. I also think that the way she says "you handle it beautifully" and "all this shit is new to me," is to highlight the tension between her fans invading their privacy and her partner not actually giving a shit about any rumors flying around.

I also think that you can't really comprehend the song in pieces, because they're all interconnected. I think the scrutiny is related to the fact that "they're bringing up [her] history" and I think this is in particular a reference to her fans who think she's better off with her exes or who think they know what's "really" happening in her life. I also think this is like an acknowledgment that her music is about her past trauma aka history and therefore, her fans will always be talking about past partners because it's like... part of her lyrics, it's unavoidable. That's why "he wasn't even listening," like I think this could mean listening to rumors or even listening to her music.

I also think it's in part directly to kaylors who think joe is a beard because that's a huge part of mainstream gaylor lyric analysis. This desire to figure out that taylor has been lying about her attraction to men all along, it's like she's standing up to her own fandom by saying I'm so fucking tired of you guys pushing your theories onto me and I wish you could hear me out when I communicate who I am with you but I don't really need you (the public) to understand me because Joe, he gets me.

Her music will always be scrutinized and her fans will come up with wild ass theories and she is worried that this will come between the two of them but he reassures her that he doesn't even care about all that extra shit because he likes her for who she is. He understand her music is about her intelligence and actually adores this part of her (you say what a mind), and he doesn't mind her being creative with her pain and making money off of it.

The reason why I think she is talking about her fans is because her fans are the only ones who keep making up these theories that she's married, had a miscarriage, had secret pandemic babies, etc etc. "All they keep asking me is if I'm gunna be your bride." I think she is directly calling out the type of fandom she has built here because she has felt trapped by this image she's projected of a good girl despite the fact that she doesn't actually view the world the same way she did when she was 15.

Her fans have literally made text posts saying stupid like "I think taylor does want to get married, she's just calling out the Invasion of Privacy" after listening to her literally sing "no deal, that 1950s shit they want from me." It's because her fans only see her as a one night or a bride. It's because she cultivated a fandom using that very dichotomy to rise to fame but now she is trying to reject that dichotomy and her fans are still not listening to her.

I digress. Back to the analysis. So, then we get to the bridge where Taylor talks about how her fans can "talk your talk and go viral" but to "get it off her desk." She is saying don't bother me with these stupid engagement or beard rumors anymore, let me live my life how I want to see fit. She wants to live her life with her partner in their love spiral without having to worry about untrue tabloid rumors but I always love whenever singers talk about how much they don't care about something in music.

Because, like, it's kind of a soft admission that they do care, at least enough to write a song about it and release it, and that's why these songs are some of my favorites out there. Like, in this bridge we get the sense that she does care, quite a lot about her fans misunderstanding her lyrics and not really knowing who she is after almost 20 years in the public eye, but we've also realized that she's grown to the point where she doesn't need the parasocial relationship she had with us to give her happiness anymore. She's found a true network of support of people who see her all the time and who love her for who she is because they've met her at midnight already.

Like, the song is inviting her fans to come into the album with an open mind and to let go of all the heteronormativity that she is in part responsible for cultivating but by the end, she has accepted that she cannot force anyone to listen to her. All she can do is write her music and live her truth, it's up to her fans to decide if we want to hear what she has to say.

#i think im going to end here #ask and you shall receive #allgoodnamesaretaken69 #taylor swift #gaylor #lavender haze #midnights #swifties

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septembersghost · 2 years ago

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The parallels between ootw and tvfn is also a very intriguing and seems almost intentional. Like if tvfn was written first why would she use those parallels to describe a guy who was polar opposite to jake. If jake introduced her to Polaroids or had Polaroid memories with him I think Taylor somehow would have sneaked those references at least in the short film.She even showed the guitar he gave her. She made CIWYW lyric video cover Polaroid and mentioned it in NYD because she and joe shared some fondness for it.

Take me away to you//take me home . I also read an article were Julien brunnetta(?) said harry was adamant about calling iicf 'if I could fly ' instead of 'for your eyes only.' Also on the childish thing,wasn't 1d releasing tvfn style pop music in their first two albums. It looks like she is trying to link him with pop like the way she used 'guitar' works for dear john.

But who knows.......maybe we're wrong maybe not. Its not like Taylor would come and say tvfn is about jake/harry/connor. I think it's ok to have different opinions on art unless you are crossing the line

I think it's ok to have different opinions on art unless you are crossing the line agree, and most of us (and everyone i've discussed music with here on my blog, i appreciate you all very much!) do tackle these concepts and subjects with genuine care for her, and respectfully, i think. we're not wildly spinning or fabricating, we're just having fun looking at the known information and the lyrical pictures she paints, and wondering about why she chooses to depict certain situations in specific ways!

part of analysis is laying pieces out and deciding for ourselves where they fit and how they tell the story. and as i've said, we also then make them completely our own with personal meaning! that's the magic of it all, it's her story however she intended it, and then it's part of us and our memories too. <3

(i'm only putting these under cuts because i talk a lot lol)

this is kind of topic adjacent, but it's very warm to me how she's reclaimed and reconnected to things, both on her own, and with joe and the love they've built and that healing process. the rep polaroids are so special.

the typewriter reference is such a powerful metaphor in the atw short film, the fact that he would give her an instrument that she then uses to write the story down, and to make it hers and her legacy, and i love how that connects directly to the guitar. little lived-in flourishes like that are part of what makes it affecting.

it's definitely interesting that there's no mention of polaroids specifically elsewhere on red (or photographs even? *except* the photo album on the counter where he's a little kid with glasses). there are so many other tangible pieces - lockets and keychains and handwritten notes and scarves. but it's like she keeps the pictures in her own mind. which, for me, also speaks quite a bit to maroon, the bruise of it, and the way she looks back at that.

"for your eyes only" is a famous song by sheena easton from a james bond movie of the same title, i always just though maybe there was a conflict! but you're right: "Songwriter Julian Bunetta talked to Rolling Stone about hearing If I Could Fly for the first time, stating "I remember when Harry first played it to me. That one I didn't write, but I remember when I first heard it. We were in Westlake Studio for a week. I kept asking why he wanted to call it 'If I Could Fly.' It's a great song, so it doesn't really matter what it's called, does it?" it's something i personally love about that song, that its title is its first line, and that while it isn't repeated, it shifts the meaning in a way. because the center isn't the intimacy shared with the other person - for their eyes only - it's the longing to go back to them. (full disclosure, if i could fly is, like, my second favorite song of their entire catalog, so i have Feelings.) it makes that lyric poignant and particularly vital - which is exactly why the similar one caught my attention in the very first night.

it does intrigue me that there seem to be links between tvfn and ootw, and of course taylor does repeat themes that aren't connected, or take on different meaning in new situations, so i don't want to make random parallels between completely unrelated things (unlike some genius annotators haha), BUT it's a case where i find it quite magnetic emotionally, because either that's intended, or she entirely reframed her experiences from one to the other. both are interesting to consider!

i think it's a pretty common opinion that hygtg itself is a nod to 1D's early music stylistically, and while tvfn is very tayloresque, sonically it wouldn't be out of place alongside tracks on take me home. message in a bottle definitely would too, it's classic pop of the early 2010s (complimentary!). like i said, it's just such a sweet pop song and she wasn't really pointing that type of innocent reminiscence at jg, everything with him is more mature and emotionally loaded. we for sure could be wrong on this one, but it doesn't make the connections less curious!

#anonymous #letterbox #haylor #i feel like these posts should always have the (artistic) sticky note

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penclicksound · 4 years ago

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“Willow” by Taylor Swift line by line Analysis

Welcome to a very elaborate analysis of the song “Willow” by Taylor Swift. My goal is to analyse all songs on Evermore, therefore creating an extensive but organised analysis of the whole album. A link will be provided when more song analysis are available.

Note: this is just my interpretation and in no way discards any other interpretation. I don’t claim my interpretation to be the “right” interpretation.

Please do not steal my words or ideas as your own or repost, but refer to me, when you talk about my ideas or post it somewhere else, thank you so much!

“I’m like the water when your ship rolled in that night

Rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife”

The song kicks off with rough waters, which may equal to stormy waters. Taylor thus refers to herself as stormy waters, potentially thinking of herself or her life as chaotic or turbulent. A love interest then enters her life like a “boat”. This is an interesting metaphor, as Taylor has often referred to music as a “floating device” on a stormy sea (e.g. the piano in the Cardigan music video). Potentially, this means that she sees herself and her life as a stormy sea and the love interest enters her life as floating device (= the ship). Although the water seems rough, the love interest “cuts through” it “like a knife”, suggesting that underneath the surface, the water isn’t rough at all. This could mean that the love interests sees right through the stormy life/character of the singer and by doing that, enters the quiet part of her life/character. The ship/water metaphor is an ongoing metaphor throughout evermore (later: Gold Rush “eyes like sinking ships”).

“And if it was an open-shut case

I never would’ve known from that look on your face”

An open shut case is a case “which is easily decided or solved because the facts are very clear” (collinsdictionary.com). This could mean that Taylor herself did not see the getting together with the love interest as an obvious thing that happened easily. She did not think of the issues that arise during the first period of dating and getting together as easily solved. And the look on the face of the love interest did not suggest he thought it was easy. Even if it was that easy to get together, she would have never guessed it.

“Lost in your current like a priceless wine”

This is an interesting line, as it reverses positions. In the beginning, Taylor was the water and now the love interest is. Opposed to the love interest, she is not a ship that cuts through it, but instead she is lost in the waters. The priceless wine may be a reference to herself as being of high value, but the high value is lost in the relationship. It could also refer to the ships that sank while shipping wine, that then started aging in the sea, increasing in value only more. This would make more sense, as it could mean that while Taylor loses herself in her love interest, it only increases her personal value more. Aside from that, one may notice that Taylor uses “current” instead of “water”, perhaps referring to the actions and the course of life of the love interest, more than their personality. It also appears he is in control of the current, of the waters he’s in of he is. Taylor on the other hands, seems out of control, storming.

“The more that you say, the less I know

Wherever you stray, I follow”

The more the love interests say, the less Taylor knows. This could mean that the love interest is very wise to Taylor, and therefore makes her feel unintelligent and discard old beliefs. It could however, also mean that the love interest is not making any sense when they’re speaking. Maybe they’re sending conflicting signals. This interpretation ties in with the upcoming lines “Now this is an open-shut case, I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face”. However, even though Taylor is not understanding what the person means (or possibly, what their intentions are), she will follow him wherever he goes. This ties in with the previous line: “lost in your current”. She is unable to separate from him, lost in his current, bound to follow him wherever he decides to go.

“I’m begging for you to take my hand

Wreck my plans, that’s my man”

She then asks the love interests to take her hand. This could again refer to him as a floating device. She is lost, following him around in his stormy sea, and she’s begging him to take her hand, so she won’t get lost in his current. She’s also asking him to wreck her plans, possibly meaning that she’s confused and abandoning her own plans to follow him wherever he wants. She then goes on to say “that’s my man”, which has some sense of pride. Possibly she admires him for being her “current”, taking her everywhere and guiding her.

“Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind”

This again ties in with the resemblance of the love interest to the “current”. He is in control of his life, deciding where to go, changing course and she will follow. Life bents to his wind. This is the first time the song title is named, so why did she chose a “willow” to equal life? A willow is often considered a beautiful tree, but also a sad tree (willow often means the “weeping willow”). This may mean that life is beautiful, but sad and weeping. All the same, the love interest is able to steer the beautiful and sad life.

“Head on the pillow, I could feel your sneakin’ in”

Taylor is in her bed, possibly pretending to sleep, while the love interests sneaks up on her. This could mean that she felt like she was in “pause” in her life, sleeping, doing nothing or maybe just not being on guard, but vulnerable. The love interest sneaks into her life, but although Taylor is not on guard, she does know he is entering her life.

“As if you were a mythical thing

Like you were a trophy or champion ring

But there was one prize I’d cheat to win”

He’s entering her life like he is a mythical thing, like he is not real. This may in a way refer to folklore. It is as though he isn’t real, but stories are told about him. Taylor then compares him to a trophy or a champion ring. Perhaps this line means that she sees him as something that people admire and desire to have, but nobody really ever wins. For example a Grammy is rarely won by anybody, it may feel rather mythical to many musicians. The love interest thus doesn’t seem real to her, but he is highly desired. She would even cheat to win him. Cheating could referring to cheating in a game (this ties in with the champion ring metaphor, such as taking dopamine to win a cycling race), but also cheating in a relationship (which ties in better with the fact that she’s talking about a love interest).

“You know that my train could take you home

Anywhere else is hollow

I’m begging for you to take my hand

Wreck my plans, that’s my man”

After repeating the chorus, where she is again subject to his course of life, she then goes on to state that her train could take him home. This seems a lot more in control in this second chorus. She’s following him anywhere, but if he steps on her train, he’d go home. Perhaps this means that she will follow him, traveling anywhere, doing anything, but if he wants, he can come to her and she will take him home. She then states that anywhere besides home is hollow. This could mean that, yes, she will follow him anywhere, but she thinks it’s rather a waste, because she’d rather be home. Home could be referring to a familiar place, somewhere where there’s peace. She would follow him into the storm, but she’d rather be at home with him in peace. In this version of the chorus, her asking the love interest to take her hand, may mean the opposite of what it meant in the first version. In this version she’s begging him to let her control his route to take him home. Perhaps going home and staying in peace, however, wasn’t her original plan, as she does refer to it as wrecking her plans. She loves it though, as she again proudly states: “that’s my man”.

“Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

They count me out time and time again”

Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

But I come back stronger than a ‘90s trend”

While he is completely in control of his beautiful and sad life, the people in Taylor’s life (“they”), keep counting her out, as though she’s no longer a part of the world/life. After stating again that he is in control of his life, she then takes control over hers and states that she “comes back stronger than a ‘90s trend”. This could mean that, in the beginning of the song, she felt out of control, following her love interest anywhere, unsure and confused, but now she’s back, and she’s stronger than ever.

“Wait for the signal and I’ll meet you after dark

Show me the places where the others gave you scars”

Waiting for signals and meetings in the dark suggests there’s secrecy in the relationship. This could be because she is cheating (“there was one prize I’d cheat to win”) and therefore they have to meet secretly. In my view, however, it could also refer to some sense of darkness in the world and they have to built their relationship in secrecy to avoid other people from interfering (this could tie in with “they could me out time and time again”. It also interesting to note that the love interests enters her life in the nighttime (“your ship rolled in that night”), so perhaps they have always met during the nighttime in secrecy. It is also interesting to note the parallel this line has with Cruel Summer (album Lover track 2): “I snuck through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate”, perhaps referring to the same type of secrecy and nighttime meetings. During the meeting in the dark, they tell each other everything, showing each other their scars and where they got them from. They get to know each other deeply, in secrecy.

“Now this is an open-shut case

I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face

Every bait-and-switch was a work of art”

Then follows a slightly different version of the ending of the first verse, where she states that if it was an open-shut case, she never would’ve known. Now, however, she states that it in fact was an open-shut case and she should have known. Where at first, she thought that starting and building their relationship was a complex and uncertain thing and perhaps she wasn’t even sure her love interest wanted it, now she knows. It was clear as day and it was quickly and easily done. And apparently he was already aware of that, before she was. An interesting parallel can be drawn with Cruel Summer again, where she sings: “I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?/He looks up grinning like a devil”. This means – as is widely accepted among Taylor Swift listeners - he was already long aware she loved him and he was just playing along. She then goes on to state that every bait-and-switch was a work of art. A bait and switch is a “sales tactic that lures customers in with specific claims about the quality or low prices on items that turn out to be unavailable in order to upsell them or a similar, pricier item”. In this context it could mean that the love interest was pretending to be something he was not, therefore luring her into getting to know him. Then, as she dedicated herself to him, she stays with him, even though the costs are higher. In this case, I believe this is a “cheeky” comment, about him selling himself a player, but when she falls for it, she finds out he actually never intended to enter her life as a player, but as a life partner. So now, instead of just dedicating to a period of fun loving, she is in the relationship for life. There is, yet again, a parallel with Cruel Summer: “Bad, bad boy, shiny toy with a price, you know that I bought it”.

#willow #taylor swift #evermore #willow analysis #evermore analysis #willow lyrics #lyrics #taylor swift lyrics #evermore lyrics #taylor swift lyrics analysis #willow interpreation #taylor swift willow #taylor swift evermore #me #mine

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sendmyresignation · 4 years ago

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alright. writing this “little” piece to exorcise the demon inside of me that wants to expand my teenagers meta further than it needs to go (if you weren't aware I'm writing a post, well an essay, wellll a short paper, about why teenagers fits on the black parade- stay tuned) BUT i cannot stop thinking about the multiple little "rockstar to kill" moments within the song/music video/live performances so... I'm self-indulgently going to write about it :)

anyway, at its most simplified, teenagers is a song about the violence within adolescents and being an adult whose afraid of that capability. that is the basic, surface-level understanding of the song. inherently, with mcr specifically, that sets up a conflict between the narrator of the song and the song’s audience. that means conflict is generational- it duplicates itself over and and over which allows for several different understandings of the narrator’s perspective. the cyclical nature means they could be speaking to a representation of what they view as the fundamental corruption of the youth, both by outside focuses and their very human nature, as the narrator become more cynical in their old age. it could be representative of them talking to their past self, reminiscing on the revenge fantasies they had in high school or the ways they were made to feel like an outcast when they were young. and they also could be speaking directly to the very literal future about their concerns as a mentoring figure (teenagers, to me, functions in layers, its interpretation can shift and change depending on the context) right now we’re preoccupied with that last perspective both within the song and the video’s contextualization, and into this wider idea of what the band’s purpose was (or how they saw their purpose).

putting the rest under a read more out of respect <333

moving into the actual text with that in mind, what becomes significant is the tonal contrast between being the seemly scathing, sarcastic indictment of Dangerous Teenagers on the surface to the actual understanding (if we’re talking about the single on its own) which is moreso criticizing the Authority figures who create and mold this violence either purposely (cog in the murder machine) or with indifference (you’ll never fit in much/they’ll leave you alone/as well as the implication of having to take matters into your own hands because the adults are absent). As a result, the song, on its own, isn’t actually blaming teenagers for the violence they perpetuate, but the narrator attempts to extend their understanding and offer advice. here is a figure looking to bring catharsis without patronizing. like this is most clearly expressed in the use of “maybe they’ll leave you alone, but not me” at the end of the chorus, which in this reading means the other adults may leave you alone, the but I am stepping in to tell you that both self-directed and outward expressions of violence are bullshit and useless and that’s what everyone else is expecting of you so fucking stop it! (this can obviously be re-figured within the context of the album- because, interestingly, the pronouns are purposely confusing with the multiple uses of they in this section) the violence is never explicitly vilified by the speaker,- its exaggerated- what you have under your shirt won’t solve anything isn’t that obvious how ridiculous it sounds, how ridiculous I sound saying it out loud? but also, the violence is implicit. the conflict is still there. the teenagers still scare the shit out of the narrator. so what gives?

well. the song is still about the gulf between generations. the speaker is still afraid and out of touch, regardless of the leadership role they’ve assumed or the perspective of the past they can offer. there is ultimately a limit to how much they can give.

which leads us right into the music video.

So first things first, Black Parade as a whole is heavily inspired by Pink Floyd’s The Wall musically, but the actual aesthetics of the wall are kind of divorced from the ww1 cabaret weimar thing that parade is drenched in (bc britian circa the 1950s is boring and the wall is purposely very ugly and grey and removed from emotion which isn’t dramatic enough for what mcr had in mind). However, teenagers exists as a sort of connecting point between the two- the music video of Another Brick in the Wall Part 2 (which you can watch here if you’ve never seen it) is clearly an influence on the subject matter and the setting and the “plot” of teenagers video- it serves as a sort of a parallel to it. more specifically, there are the “running shots” of kids making their way through unlit hallways into the auditorium that evoke the children in the pink floyd video marching through the school. there’s also the line “cog in the murder machine”, which seem particularly inspired from the depiction of children as going through machines and coming out the other side stiff, wooden, and obedient. then the backdrop of the large bomb centered in my chem’s stage show mimics the shot of the headmaster standing behind the large, lit up clock- especially since that where the teenagers in the crowd of mcr’s video all begin acting in unison, similar to the children in the wall all falling into line (but, like, just the use of ww2 era bomb imagery and gas masks in general is very reminiscent of the early wartime parts of the wall anyway). so in a vague sense, there is a huge connection between teenagers and that emulation and replication of the wall.

however, the most striking similarity is that, in the same way the students destroy their school in a moment of violent inspiration after sequences of disconcerting compliance, the group of high schoolers in teenagers do the same against the band. the difference is that in the case of the teenagers, the explosion is directed at the source of their outburst (they switch from the on-beat fist-punching to wild moshing as the song devolves and ray’s solo starts) instead of in opposition to a more institutional suppressive force. they are not motivated to action because of something done to them, instead it is the actual music itself that serves as both the impetus of conformity and the fuse that destroys that same unison action and then the band. and what’s significant is the particularity of the actions the crowd takes: they steal the band’s instruments from them and they bodily remove gerard from the microphone. like contrast this violence against the band vs the desolation row video where the whole band is physically incapacitated- there, its about knocking them around and getting them to stop (ray is beat down by police, bobs drums are destroyed, etc etc). but here, its about taking their places- the act of destruction is calculated but not purposely cruel. so, in teenagers being a parallel to Another Brick, that moment of turning on the band is the moment of violence but is also the moment of freedom. the difference in the two becomes the ways in which the band is responsible for reawakening the fire within the audience and giving them a purpose. which here is “killing the rockstar” by taking over, taking their places. and that is the nature of music and the nature of the conflict implicit to becoming the “rockstars”

it brings us right back around to that generational conflict: except when your talking about mcr’s realationship with their audience, that becomes the fostering of a group of outcasts and weirdos and freaks and giving them the tools to save themselves, yes. but also giving them the opportunity to do exactly what they did. to pick instruments and take their places. its the cyclical nature of creation and destruction “because when we get old and lazy some of you guys are gonna have to eat us alive by starting your own fucking band (x), that idea of needing a “rockstar to kill” has been refigured to mean something newer, positive. we are the ones killing them, but not in the way of typical martyring where a crowd of detractors and nonbelievers burns you at the stake- but instead by continuing the natural cycle of art, true genuine art. just as mcr is built off of so many influences- creating an entirely new project out of that existing landscape of sound that reaches people and gives them an outlet, we are doing the same things. by besmirching metal and punk by mixing them together, by “selling out” so they could put together a rock opera, by adding theater into a hyper masculine culture of nu-metal and post-hardcore, by making deeply emotional music that was still violent or angry, by writing the way they did they killed the bands they loved and made something better. its the the way in which the creative cycle is a rebirth, of scavenging the good things from the people who came before you and moving forward and taking the world by storm. here, in the video, the audience redirects their violence at the band, yes. but that is the point. teenagers still scare the shit out of the narrator, but that’s not going to stop them from reaching out, from speaking to them directly, from performing until their very last moments

until they take over. until they kill the rockstar. until we eat them alive.

in the end, that is the mission of my chemical romance, isn’t it- to inspire that level of passion, to turn the music into a life-raft and then gasoline and fire in your gut and then a sense of purpose and then into freedom and endless joy? and isn’t it the greatest act of love, the truest expression of admiration to tear them apart, build ourselves creations out of the wreckage to fill the space they leave behind, and then lay them to rest when the time has come?

#my brain. is crazy :) enjoy :)#mcr assigned reading #my posts

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doomedandstoned · 4 years ago

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Doors To No Where Drop Rowdy Grunge-Punk-Desert Spinner ‘Darkness Falls’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Review by Billy Goate

Before us is the latest record from Santa Cruz heavies DOORS TO NO WHERE, a band new to these pages but which has played alongside many of our favorite West Coast acts, including KooK, Worship, and Year of the Cobra. As May is Mental Health Awareness month, it's good timing to be introduced to 'Darkness Falls' (2021). "This came to me during the pandemic," says frontman Marc Lewis. "I was watching so many folks struggling from all walks of life. Struggle isn’t biased -- it can hit anyone."

The album lyrically was a concept album in a way on the topic of mental health and its impact. I'm truly passionate about this and want it not to be such a taboo thing to talk about or seen as a sign of weakness.

Composed during the pandemic's most clutching moments and recorded with Aaron Cooper of Pylon Productions, the album features longtime collaborators Marc Lewis (guitar, vox), Marc Prefontaine (bass), and Pete Testorff (drums).

"Lie, Lie, Lie," dashes off to a furious Foo Fighters pace as we begin the record, with Pete Testorff's fervor and panache paving the way for Marc Lewis to deliver the three word chorus with all the snarl of a man who just wants to break his rusty chains and run.

"The riff in Lie, Lie, Lie," Marc tells Doomed & Stoned, "was written off something I heard Pete doing one night during sound check. He was playing his whole kit and then doing those snare hits you hear at the beginning of the song."

There's some nice give-and-take between Marc Lewis' guitar and Marc Prefontaine's bass that betwixt the introduction and chorus. I didn't pick it up at first listen, but it definitely grabbed me the next several spins through.

The grungy lyrics match the pissed-off spirit of the music, as the song mourns the loss of a common reference denominator for truth, warning that in its absence there is division, calamity, and ruin. "Together we rise, together we fall." Marc amplifies these powerful moments for us:

This track centers around the idea of false power and how someone could start to believe their own lies and self-hype, while others could fall for it. It can become a toxic relationship or even a cult kind of thing.

It may be hard to remember this far into this surreal "pause" in our world's history, but we too were afraid, alone, and angry for much of the pandemic's wake -- especially in those uncertain early moments when we followed the spread of this strange disease from China to Italy and onto the shores of Seattle and New York.

Darkness Falls by Doors To No Where

The aptly named "Fade" comes next, presenting at a doom's crawl with a sombre arpeggiated motif that summons the spirit of Trouble and Saint Vitus. Or you might hear a twisted, doomed-up variation of Metallica's "Enter The Sandman" in that low-end omen. "Fade was built of the rolling riff and bend," Marc explains. "I wanted it fat and raunchy." Certainly Pale Divine and Dirty Grave come to mind as I seek to match the mood with bands of similar spirit.

Then comes the pained chorus: "Run, run baby," which Marc illuminates in a very personal light:

"Fade" is about a friend of mine who is no longer with us. She was a larger than life personality that was loved by all. She played the personna and role of the happy-go-lucky person. She thought that's why people loved her and why they were friends. She was actually really struggling with mental health and depression though. She would behave in a way that she thought people wanted her to behave, while she was actually suffering. Those around her did not realize her pain or that their influence was making things worse. For years she would self-medicate with drugs and alcohol and that was celebrated by those around her.

I had started to see signs of her pain and tried to reach out. Unfortunately, I was too late. Any time anyone would reach out for help, she would disappear. The chorus line “disappearing one” is a reference to her pushing away and hiding from help. When she passed (sucide) everyone spoke of how special she was and how much they loved her. I was angry and sad. Why didn't more folks try and help her? My perspective was that coddling her addictions and self-medicated escape helped her to the grave.

The lyrics “We all love to see you fade, but don’t you go away” and “We all love to see you soar, but don’t you fade away” are references to the idea that sometimes humans are selfish in their relationships. Meaning that someone may give me the attention and things I need without me being aware of the sacrifices the other person is making.

"Worship The Machine" is another hefty doomer, with some wild guitar noodling contrasted against a rhythm that is quite machine-like as it dances stoically along its predestined chordal path. "Worship The Machine was written to be heavy and groovy," the band notes. "We wanted it to have a certain feel that pushed hard, while still having that chugging along kinda vibe." Closing in on the three-minute mark, Pete turns loose on the drums like a man possessed and the intensity continues when the rest of the band joins in, taking us right across the finish line to a crashing conclusion.

Darkness Falls by Doors To No Where

"I wanna live, but I'm dying" are words I can certainly relate to, not just in 2020, but in 2021, where the lingering impact of such a global (and personal) disruption is still very much a struggle on the daily. Turns out, my intuition was not far from the lyrical intent: "This song is all about the addiction to social media and how it corresponds with one's self esteem, mood, and self-worth. The social media world has become this giant machine and some are literally addicted to it. It creates this tool of status. I think it has truly impacted how people feel about themselves and others."

"Got Mine" is up next and this one is the most punkish track yet. It reminds me a lot of Soundgarden's periodic forays into punk, with songs like "Nazi Driver," "Never Named," and "Kickstand." On this point, Marc is clear: "Got Mine is influenced by the fact that I love old punk rock. I love the energy and the attitude. We wanted it to be loose but with tight stops and control." As to its meaning, we're told:

This song is about a revolution with the main character being selfish and self serving. So the character is done with the revolution or fight once their needs and wants are met. They are not really looking out for the cause or to tackle bigger issues for the good of humanity. They are actually looking for what is best for them. The chorus refers to a cold heart and lack of empathy.

Darkness Falls by Doors To No Where

All you lovers of southern sludge will dig "Policy" with its Goatsnake meets Acid Bath groove and sassy guitar lead. Speaking of Soundgarden, I really dig the Kim Thayilesque breakdown and stinging solo two-minutes in, though some may draw parallels with Crowbar here. These are all, of course, points of reference to try to do the near impossible: put the emotional experience of one listener (e.g. yours truly) into words. In the end, it's up to you to listen and find a favorite of your own. For my money, "Policy" is where it's at. Check out the fantastic dual guitar interplay two-and-a-half minutes in! Down, eat your heart out.

"Policy" is another riff I wrote to play off of a groove I heard Pete do during warm ups. It's got a swing to it but punches hard. Almost a heartbeat if you will. The solo was a direct result of playing the drums.

This track touches on letting toxic people go from your life. At what point do you stop investing in someone's negative energy? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. It is the idea of surrounding yourself with people that want you to be the best version of yourself.

Up next: "Who Died", which summons all of the band's talents. Beginning with bursts of rapid-fire guitar picking set against a zombie-like beat and chorus, the song has something of a swampy feel. "I won't follow you!" Mr. Lewis shouts defiantly. I wasn't sure where the song would progress from there, and almost thought it was concluded at the false stop barely two-and-a-half minutes in. But the song rallies and the band pulls out its full force, with what sounds like the addition of the synth to present a layered effect that amplifies the intensity. I think this could have been developed even further, but sometimes brevity is the most appropriate option for a song.

"Who Died" was written off the chorus and intro. Zeppelin kinda riff. It's all about feel and giving the riffs room to breathe. This track is about the concept of thinking for yourself and not being an easy victim of mental or physical abuse.

The reverberating echoes of organ-sounding keyboards greet as "New Monster" takes its place next. We get our footing pretty quickly with a kind of "We Will Rock You" bass motif, but the song gets stranger and stranger as the seconds tick off. As with the previous track, there is a sudden atmospheric shift accompanied by furious strumming and ending on the swirling guitar theme we started with.

"Here we are, same ol' thing, round and round, 'ever again...I wanna run, I wanna breathe, I wanna live." This is, for me, perhaps the most relatable song on the record, lyrically speaking. This one especially gave off strong Prong vibes with its strong vocal lead, robust drumming, strong bass play, and industrial guitar feel.

"New Monster" was written in isolation and was originally an acoustic song. Even though the tempo is upbeat it's a dark and murky riff. We wanted the end out of the breakdown to hit hard. I imagine it building like a wave in the ocean.

Another track focusing on mental health with the idea of perseverance and to keep fighting, "New Monster" is the idea of not being perfect is actually perfect. We are all just floating on a giant rock in space and going through this thing called life together.

Darkness Falls by Doors To No Where

At last, we reach the record's namesake "Darkness Falls" -- the gem of this eight-pronged crown of thorns. I've always thought it was a great name. Darkness Falls is also the title of a 2003 movie about a malevolent tooth fairy, though I see no compelling reason to connect the film with either the song or record. I may not be too far off the mark, as Marc Lewis explains:

This concept came to me during the pandemic. I was watching so many folks struggling. All walks of life were struggling. Struggle isn’t biased and can hit anyone. “Please, please shine for me” and “Please, please glow again” reflect on how badly I wanted things to be better. For things to be ok. How I wanted those I love to be happy, safe and loved.

As it stands, Doors To No Where does a superior job of fleshing out the notion of "Darkness Falls" than previous contenders in any medium. The song stirs up a smokey, mysterious Near-Eastern ambience. Four minutes in and it's confirmed: there is indeed a synthesizer at play on Darkness Falls but its hypnotic effect in this song is interrupted by a screaming riffstorm and a gut full of churning bass. This song would make a great companion to "What The Hell Have I" by Alice in Chains. It also pairs well with Portland band A//TAR, whose metaphysical music we've also debuted in these pages.

"Darkness Falls" is special for another reason: Bob Balch of Fu Manchu and Big Scenic Nowhere was a guest on the album closer. "Him and I worked together on the track," Marc reflects. "He is a pro's pro and added so much to the vibe of the song. His playing and tone are phenomenal.

The new album Darkness Falls by Doors To No Where releases to the public on Friday, May 21st via Desert Records (pre-order here). This is its world premiere c/o Doomed and Stoned.

Give ear...

Doors To No Where · DARKNESS FALLS

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Featuring Marc Lewis (Guitars/Vocals), Pete Testorff (Drums) and Marc Prefontaine (Bass). Doors To No Where have been making music since 2010. Their sound is heavily influenced by Santa Cruz and the local beauty it offers along with the rich history of music. Doors To No Where have been called a stoner rock band but also touch on elements of punk, doom, metal and even grunge.

Growing up on a skateboard and surfing has played a huge part on the influences of the sounds Doors To No Where like to include.

The band has toured in and been honored to share the stage with bands like, Mondo Generator, Fatso Jetson, Fu Manchu, The Melvins and many more.

Doors To No Where will be releasing 'Darkness Falls' (2021) via Desert Records on May 21st 2021. The fourth studio album features eight tracks and a special guest appearance from Bob Balch (Fu Manchu). Staying true to their roots, 'Darkness Falls' is a combination of desert rock and punk influences. The band tracked and recorded the album in the unusual quarantine times of Covid-19.

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#D&S Debuts #Doors To No Where #Santa Cruz #California #grunge #desert rock #punk rock #heavy metal #Desert Records #D&S Reviews #Doomed and Stoned

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tisthenightofthewitch · 5 years ago

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Tobias Forge: New Ghost Songs Designed to Fill Out Live Show

The evolution of Ghost seems almost mythical. How much of what the band has become did you actually envision when it started?

Damn. I's unfathomable looking back years to the embryonic state of Ghost as an idea.

I definitely felt like there was a career there or that there was a forum and that there'd be a crowd that would be a designated audience. I could really feel that already from 2008 when the first demo songs were being played to just a few people. Just the mere reaction of those people hearing it that early, you could tell that there was a vibe that was not really comparable to the current bands that I was in. So, I always had a good feeling about it, but fast forward 10 years and looking at a lot of the success, that was not taken into account at the time.

Headlining an arena tour is an opportunity to take the theatricality of Ghost to an even more elaborate level. How do you present a big show without overshadowing the music?

I don't think that there is such a thing really. It would be kind of miraculous if you've gotten to a level where you're allowed to do a big, spectacular show if you didn't have the songs already that you've built your career upon. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but I'm just saying that I think that, despite Ghost obviously being a very schticky band, I would never claim that we got to the point where we got to with music only.

Of course, the imagery played a giant part. But I know no bands at all that had a fantastic image but really sucky music that got anywhere. Maybe they, cult wise, got somewhere, but they never really materialized or amounted to grander things that don't have music that moves people. One thing that bands notice if they're ever given the chance of playing really big places is how much effort you need to put in.

Those steps and those measures feel like all of it on paper is almost overkill. Once you get there onstage, and once you do it, you're like, 'Oh, it's just like a normal rock show. It's just what I've seen many times.' I'm not saying repetitive.

One simple example is when you're a small band, you start out with a backdrop of a certain size. It feels like a huge backdrop when you bring it to your first club show. Then all the sudden, a few months later, you might support a bigger band in a theater, and you bring your big backdrop and now that backdrop just takes up a quarter of their big backdrop.

So, you make another big one and it's a really big one that on paper and once you order it, it looks like it's going to be so huge. Then when you play your first outdoor show in a shed or in a festival, it doesn't even look that big now. So every step you take you realize that what seemed inconceivable and almost vulgar in terms of overstating something half a year ago or three years ago, is now industry standards.

When you headline in an arena it has to be this big. It has to have these amount of fire canisters and this, that and the other. If you do it all really well, it's gonna look like an arena band. But my ambitions are bigger than that. There's a lot of things on my to-do list that goes into the future.

Ghost are categorized as metal but there are many other musical nuances throughout the songs as well. What taught you the musical adaptability that's so prevalent to Ghost?

I think it comes from a musical interest — an obsession with music, that actually went a little bit beyond just metal. Throughout my life, I've obsessed about many different bands and many different genres and many different ages of rock. I'm saying rock because it's still, besides my fascination for like classical music or film scores and pop song, everything else has been sort of rock-oriented in some way, be it early '60s with all the Beatles and Kinks and all that stuff.

To prog rock, to punk rock to hard rock, everything has sort of been rock based when it comes to being embracive of bands and artists. Whereas I've always had a very big love for songs in general and of course a lot of that is rooted in listening to radio and pop. But just because I like Nik Kershaw songs, it doesn't mean I'm obsessing over him as an artist at all. The same way that I would over [laughs] The Smiths or The Doors.

But I think, definitely, if I was to credit the diversity of Ghost music it would definitely be my upbringing musically. The fact that I was exposed to so much different music very early on. Absolute obsession for the Rolling Stones, my absolute obsession over The Doors, as well as my absolute obsession over Metallica and Morbid Angel, just to name a few.

Overall Ghost seems tailor-made for a concept album. What would be the positive and negative aspects of that format for you?

I'm often in sort of an inner conflict with myself for the idea of concept albums. My albums are always loosely themed around something particular. Just to draw parallels with other bands, I would say that it is loosely themed in the same way that Metallica's [early albums] or Iron Maiden's album are thematic. They are just based on and idea opposed to The Who's Tommy or King Diamond's records that are a story from start to finish.

I would say that I'm a little bit more like, Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here. It's a little bit more like based off of feeling. Wish You Were Here was based on the idea of missing and longing for someone. Everybody thinks it's about Syd Barrett, but it wasn't specifically about him. It was not a record that had to do with him alone.

I am, so far, into the planning stages on the new album right now and am trying to find the balance of how to incorporate songs ideas that I have and tie them in so it's loose enough to feel like what I thought of but clear enough to feel like it's a theme.

I've had this issue or this subject in our agenda for the previous albums as well — to avoid turning it into something like a story? The problem with that is that you're committing, you have to commit, you have to go full-on, completely committed into orchestrating that story. And when you're writing a story all of a sudden, there are dramaturgical needs that a story requires.

I am very, very interested in cinematic theater, so I would have very high demands on that storytelling. I just feel that at least as of right now it feels like that's a little too ambitious for me. At the end of the day, I want to write a record that is filled with good songs that will fit very well into our other pile of songs that we have for an album's worth of material.

To answer your question, I think that is another issue that if you make a rock opera. All of a sudden you have to store them. Like, how does this record fit into the rest of our repertoire?

I know that Pink Floyd solved it by for many years they played the current record. That was sort of act one. So they would go out and they'd play Dark Side of the Moon, and then they would come out after a little intermission they would come out and play like a hip sort of thing. And that's great. I would've loved to see that. [laughs] But it takes commitment and you need to sort of fully embrace that. I am not there right now. I want make a record that is a little more according to what the four albums I've already done.

It's hard to imagine Ghost without the charismatic characters. How do those identities empower you as a performer?

Speaking just for myself, I know that coming out onstage as another character, looking different, acting different, definitely allows for you to act and behave in a way that you wouldn't normally do. This can be both traumatic and also therapeutical in away.

Even though it's been a long time since I practiced any sort of martial arts, I almost feel similar to myself back then, like after karate class. I did all kinds of things. I did Judo, jiu-jitsu, tae kwon do and karate. After you are sort of cleansed from any sort of violent urges that you had. And in a way, I feel that way. Especially now when we play on our regular nights. When we play that long, any inkling that you have of wanting to dance and rock out is sort of over when you come off stage, which is very nice.

One of the luxuries of being able to dress up for it and become a different character is that as soon as I am not that character anymore, no one expects me to behave the way that the character does onstage. No one expects me to be that way offstage. There's been a great handful of rock artists that have had a big problem differentiating themselves from their character onstage. And that leads to a lot of potential problems.

You are tentatively planning to start recording the next Ghost album early next year. What informs or inspires you when you're in creative mode?

Pretty much all the same things that have always inspired me. I just add more things, but luckily I have managed to maintain my little oasis of inspiration or the well that doesn't seem to dry up. For me, I can still go back to films and records and books, a myriad of things. That still keeps me fired up and in awe to the point where I want to do something similar.

We still have months to go of touring and right about now has been the case in previous album cycles. I start to get very antsy about going into the studio. My mind is definitely far up in the new record. But also, making a new record for me nowadays is so much more than producing 40 minutes of music.

It's also hard work thing and a visual presentation first and foremost. Despite my love of making records and wanting to put my vision and musical ideas on to vinyl and wanting to hear that, it's about tours. That's what we do.

Making a record is not only making a record, it's also planning the show. And a lot of things, a lot of gags, a lot of production values that I've had ideas for - for songs that I wanted to do on a live stage that we haven't gotten to do but now are closer to being able to produce — basically a lot of the gags that we haven't been able to do before goes into consideration when making a new record.

It's like what kind of song do we need in order to make the show a year and a half from now all those things that I wanna try to present. So making the record goes in tandem with the existing material as well, from the live point of view. It's important that the songs I'm adding to the repertoire - I don’t know, however many songs we play live, but if it's a good record, maybe you can play seven songs from that new record? Eight songs? I don’t know.

But you want those songs to have relevance. You don't want another "Absolution," you want another song that we don't have. You don't want an exact replica of "He Is." You want another song to sort of perfect the live show. So, yeah, there's a lot to - you have to spend a lot of time thinking about that in order to get that right.

FULL METAL JACKIE RADIO

#Tobias Interview #Tobias Forge #Cardinal Copia #The Band Ghost #Ghost Band

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dustedmagazine · 5 years ago

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Listed: Tomás Nochteff (Mueran Humanos)

Mueran Humanos, an Argentinian duo now based in Berlin, mixes post-punk, industrial-inflected synth explorations, garage rock and psychedelia. Carmen Burguess and Tomás Nochteff share vocal duties and play a very basic line-up of instruments: bass, synths, drum machines and samplers. In his review for Dusted, Andrew Forell called their latest, Hospital Lullabies, “a thrilling concoction of electronic, industrial, bass-driven body music fueled by the transgressive spirit of a DAF or a Psychic TV.” Here, Tomás presents his list of visionary music.

A list of visionary music

What is a visionary? Visions can come in dreams, in journeys to other worlds, in hallucinations. They can be the product of will, of a derangement of the senses, or they can come uninvited to save you or to haunt you and destroy your mental balance, even your life. It can be heavenly, or hellish, but to be authentic visions they have to be otherworldly. And to be visions rather than just imagination, they must have an element of truth. Not literal truth, like “that wall is green,” but a different kind of truth, the one that´s expressed in symbols, in metaphors, in omens and obsessions. In “Heaven and Hell,” Aldous Huxley analyzed the visions of people under the influence of psychedelic drugs, the visions of mystics and the visions of schizophrenics. He found fundamental parallels and concluded that they must have been visiting the same places. These people are not merely hallucinating, but they are perceiving another reality, visiting a different world, or maybe they are perceiving the world as it really is. And he quotes Jung on this: “schizophrenics and mystics are on the same ocean, but schizophrenics are drowning and mystics are swimming.” A visionary could be a mix of all these archetypes. Like Philip K Dick: was he on drugs? Yes. Was he mad? Yes. Was he seeking enlightenment? Yes. Had his visions an element of truth? No doubt about it. Were his visions revelations? To some extent, yes.

On our last album, Hospital Lullabies, the songs deal with all these different experiences on the journey to another world and on the invasion from another world into everyday life, with its horror and its beauty, the agony and the ecstasy. And how one copes, or doesn´t, with it.

So to celebrate it, I made a list of music that I do consider visionary. There’s madmen, there’s mystics and there’s psychonauts, all possible combinations of the three archetypes and everything in between.

Pharoah Sanders—“The Creator has a Masterplan” (Impulse)

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I don´t know much about cosmic jazz, or any jazz for that matter, but what I know is that this record is pure bliss. “Harvest Time,” on Pharoah is another masterpiece. Alice Coltrane and Don Cherry are also incredible. This is music of the spheres; it has the touch of God.

Rudimentary Peni—CacophonyI (Outer Himalayan Records)

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One of the few perfect punk bands ever, for lots of reasons. The bass lines are extraordinary, for example. But they belong here because of schizophrenic member Nick Blinko: incredible artist & novelist, obsessed with Catholicism and the supernatural horror. A guy who stopped his medication to force himself into a psychotic crisis just to write an album. Hero. Martyr.

Nico— “Janitor of Lunacy” (Cherry Red Records)

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For me, Nico was the best and more underrated of all Velvets (and we love Velvet Underground as much as anyone). Also, the production from John Cale on her records is probably his best work too, or at least among his best. I feel that she is not appreciated enough. Iggy said that meeting her changed him. I suspect that´s true for all her famous friends: Bowie, Lou Reed, John Cale, Leonard Cohen, etc. They were all larger-than-life characters. And we know there is an element of self-built mythology on all that, a bit of acting. There is nothing wrong with that; rock and roll at its best is a complete artform and we must appreciate this self-built mythology as part of their craft. But with Nico you don´t get that feeling. She seemed that she didn´t care about her image, she was born Nico and I suspect that in that sense she inspired them all to no end. She was the genuine article. One of our main loves in music. Essential with a capital E.

Coil—“I Don’t Want To Be The One”

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Jhonn Balance wanted to be a magician, and he died trying. I think he succeed in building a shamanic body of work with the help of the great late Sleazy and a myriad of brilliant contributors. Coil´s music at its best it´s like a plasma between worlds, or a very, very good psychedelic drug. My most beloved electronic/industrial/post-industrial project ever and one of our main influences. This performance is superb.

Lungfish — Feral Hymns

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I´m not interested in DC post hardcore per se, and I don´t have any tattoos. I shouldn´t care about Lungfish the way I do, but they knock me out every single time. Daniel Higgs is a seer. I don´t know what he is talking about, but at the same time, my gut knows exactly what he is talking about. He speaks in images, like Tarot, like the religious painters, like Rimbaud and San Juan de la Cruz. His delivery is supreme. Raw and fragile, yet powerful and precise. Over circular, repetitive, minimal structures of music that have a haunting, arresting effect. Hypnotic, magical, devotional music. Either you get it, or you don´t. I can´t explain it. That´s the beauty of it, I suppose. And the truly mark of the visionary artist.

Ghedalia Tazartes—“Une Éclipse Totale De Soleil Part 2”

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Ghedalia for me represents the pure, untouched, sui generis artist. Applying the techniques of musique concrete to the ancient folk music of the Sephardic Jews with a raw energy that usually you can only find in punk, or blues. I see in him an archetype, the Fool card in the Tarot. The madman that opens the gates of heaven and hell, gives himself to these supreme energies and survives only because of his perfect innocence.

OM—“Sinai (live at Sonic City)”

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Maybe the greatest rock band of the last 20 years. Here with Robert Aiki Aubrey Lowe to maximum effect.

Charlemagne Palestine—Live in Holland 1998

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Like Ghedalia, Charlemagne Palestine is a Jewish artist that works in the avant garde field but subverts it with the tradition of his folk music instead of sticking to the cold, cerebral, rational program of academia. He has his own world. Watch this and you will understand what I am talking about.

Virgin Prunes—Excerpts from Sons Find Devils/“Walls of Jericho”

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There is a VHS tape called Sons Find Devils, comprised of live shows and short experimental films (some of them made by Balance, from Coil). I had it as a teenager and watched it countless times. Sadly, it is not complete on YouTube or elsewhere but here are some small extracts. With their heretic mix of Irish Catholic imagery, Irish Paganism, Bataille, performance art and post punk, the Virgin Prunes made a unique and extraordinary body of work. A testament of its importance is that Gavin Friday was guest singer of two bands in this list: The Fall and Coil. And Mr. Scott Walker himself invited him to sing on a play. Maybe the historians ignore them, but Mark E. Smith, Scott Walker and Coil knew where it’s at, didn´t they? Their record If I die I die is a masterpiece. Produced by Colin Newman from Wire, no less, if you need more validation.

Boredoms—Vision Creation Newsun

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I like some of the more comical, early work of Boredoms, but with Super AE and this one they got me. They got serious and spiritual, channeling Alice Coltrane, tribal drumming, kraut rock and noise into a glorious, euphoric sound. Maybe they are not visionaries, but their music can produce visions. I saw them around 2005 (on acid) with the three drummers line up, still in this phase. I remember thinking “this is what cavemen had in mind when they invented music.” I actually saw it, with my eyes closed. Early humans. In caves. Inventing music. God bless LSD.

Aphrodite´s Child — 666

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The one record I bought for the cover only, it cost me 50 cents, best deal of my life. A concept album about the apocalypse. Easy contender for the best psychedelic rock album of all time. Pet Sounds? Get outta here. An absolute masterpiece.

Tim Buckley—Starsailor

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Tim Buckley is a mystery. He died too young. How he went from his L.A. folk rock first album to the absolute unique sound of Starsailor and Lorca is impossible to understand and a miracle of music. All six records in between are masterpieces. He was possessed by genius and has the most beautiful voice. I don´t know much about him, but his music put me out there.

Sun Ra—Night Music 1989

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Watch this. Space is The Place, indeed.

Pescado Rabioso—Artaud

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This guy, Luis Alberto Spinetta, is considered by many to be the most important rock musician in my country. So being an arrogant teenage punk, or whatever, of course that alone was enough to reject him altogether without even thinking. But a couple of years ago I was blown away by a book of poems he published in 1978. Incredibly beautiful, unique and sophisticated poetry. I recently started, too late, to listen to his music. This is one of his most famous and revered records. It´s dedicated to, and inspired by Antonin Artaud, who tried and failed to reach the mystic enlightenment, generating a body of work in the process which is a testament to his spiritual ambition, his radical rejection of the material world and his pain. Spinetta understood this, he said the record was trying to find an answer to Artaud, a way out of it, a way out of the pain. It´s psychedelic music of the highest order. The lyrics are incredible but you can enjoy it even without understanding them.

Dead Can Dance—Dyonisios

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I kept forgetting this band exists. This new album is great. I listened to it non-stop during last Winter/Spring. It´s the perfect time because the record is about Dyonisios, so as a soundtrack for the rebirth of Nature it´s perfect. Probably their best work in years. Sublime.

The Fall—“Garden” (Live at the Hacienda, Manchester, UK, 1984)

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No list of visionary rock and roll would be complete without Mark E. Smith. Famously he said, “I used to be a psychic but I drank my way out of it.” Indeed, there was a time, between 1978-1990, when he was possessed by something, injecting realism with mysticism, mixing high and low planes, exposing the supernatural forces that hides in the cracks of everyday life. He never talks about hell neither heaven, but rather the way they mix and manifest here on Earth. You’ve got countless of bands using occult/mystic imagery, and you know it´s nice but it´s just a game. You’ve got thousands of bands referencing Burroughs and the cut-up technique, but no one can write as Burroughs did. MES did it. MES wasn´t playing. He was a realist of the augmented reality, he told it like it is, in his fragmented, hallucinatory, unpretentious, visionary prose poetry.

There is a lot in his lyrics that can be read in a mystic, occult way. He left a lot of clues for the ones that can read them. His texts are kaleidoscopic, and they reflect what´s in your mind, really. I think he will be recognized with time as the great experimental writer that he actually was rather than merely an angry Mancunian punk. He had more in common with someone like Iain Sinclair than with any other rock musician. One of my favorite web sites is The Annotated Fall, where fans analyze his lyrics in depth. Pay a visit if you can, I can´t recommended it enough. In many ways, he was too intelligent for rock and roll, and that´s why he was misunderstood, but he didn´t care, he believed in constant work, never explain, never apologize. The Fall took all the best things in rock and roll: Can, Velvet Underground, punk, Captain Beefheart, and pushed it to the next level. Our favorite rock group ever.

Huun Hur Tu — “Prayer”

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I tried to stick to Western, modern music but I can´t help including this.

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sunflower-vol14 · 5 years ago

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So, this is a whole thing I wrote on the parallels that I see and hear between Harry’s and Louis’ songs. Full disclaimer, this is just how I see it, I think quite a bit of it is just common sense and blatant parallels, but it still is my opinion, so others can, of course, interpret things differently. I have also seen tons and tons of posts comparing similar lyrics, stories, themes, and ideas, and I’ve used them as part of my ‘research’ for this, along with my own ideas (but to be honest they don’t differ much). So, credit to all the others who have made similar posts.

After the debut of Louis’ new songs at the Coca-Cola festival in Madrid, numerous lyric and thematic comparisons can be made to Harry’s music from his first album. I have no doubt those comparisons will continue into Harry’s second album and the rest of Louis’ first album. The major themes and ideas that I notice in hs1 are those of love, longing, difficulties with oneself that then affect the other in a relationship, which in turn encourages miscommunication in the attempt to protect the other. Even with the difficulties that have been thrown at them in life or specifically due to their relationship, it is clear that Harry and Louis love each other very much. They have loved each other through and despite all their hardships and don’t seem to have any desire to stop.

Sweet Creature and Habit tell a story of young love that has grown and bloomed over the years. Harry performed You’re Still The One in Madison Square Garden, which has the iconic lyric, ‘look how far we’ve come, my baby’. In Habit, louis references how far they have come since their first shared home with: ‘it’s been ages, different stages, come so far from Princess Park.’ In Sweet Creature, Harry references Princess Park when he sings ‘oh we started, two hearts in one home.’ Although Harry did not write You’re Still The One, the song means a lot to him and on many occasions he has said it is one of his favourite songs. Furthermore, in Sweet Creature, the line ‘running through the garden oh where nothing bothered us’ can be interpreted two ways. One, as a literal garden, a backyard where, when they were young, they could frolic, be silly, and fall more in love. Two, as Madison square garden, which is often referred to as ‘the garden’. The boys played there when they were young, and it was a big deal for all of them. Harry then went on and wrote a song with that reference and sang You’re Still The One in that very venue.

Moreover, the idea of double meanings comes into play in Habit when Louis sings: ‘it’s been ages, different stages, come so far from princess park’. Different stages can mean different stages in life, but also the literal stages he performed on with One Direction. While that is not as much of a blatant parallel as other lyrics, I think it is worth noting that they both recall performing at a young age in a very loving manner. Overall, Sweet Creature and Habit are connected by the idea of their young love growing over the years, which is shown through their lyrics referring to their first home and the passage of time.

Ever Since New York and Don’t Let It Break Your Heart mirror each other with the mentioning of New York City. Harry sings, ‘I've been praying ever since New York’, while louis sings ‘I know you left a part of you in New York.’ Both songs have a evoke a somber feeling and allude to a mental struggle. Whether they are about the same event is unknown, but they do seem to be connected.

Furthermore, there also seems to be a thematic connection between Ever Since New York and Defenseless. The themes of longing and miscommunication are found in both songs, with Harry repeating ‘oh, tell me something I don't already know’, among other lyrics, and Louis saying ‘sleeping on our problems and we’ll solve them in our dreams’ and ‘been up all night, not sure I’ll say this right, got so much to lose’. Harry seems desperate for new conversations, potentially to distract him or give him new information, while Louis is struggling with what they aren’t saying to each other and how he should go about talking to Harry about difficult topics they most likely pushed to the side, or under the sheets in this case. Louis wants to talk, he’s longing and begging for Harry to open up, but Harry has walls built to protect him from the pain of all the things they’ve left unsaid. The love and care they have for each other is there, but these songs showcase them going through a difficult time where they need each other, but they are struggling on letting each other in, despite how well they know each other.

Meet Me In The Hallway and From The Dining Table also showcase the theme of miscommunication with Harry singing ‘maybe we'll work it out’,‘we don't talk about it, it's something we don't do’, and ‘why won't you ever say what you want to say’. (Even though there is a high chance that FTDT is about a collection of stories, I think it’s important to include it because Harry still wrote it and his emotions are in it and his word choice was deliberate.) Overall, there is a clear lack of communication about difficult topics and problems that they do not want to acknowledge in order to protect themselves and the other person.

(note: SC says, ‘I always think about you and how we don’t speak enough’. There’s a ton of communication issues. But Harry’s working on being more open, as he said in recent interviews (I think it was Rolling Stone.))

MMITH parallels Don’t Let It Break with the lyrics ‘I gotta get better’ and ‘you’re doing better’. As with ESNY, there is a somber feeling to MMITH, there’s a struggle. It seems that by the time Don’t Let It Break comes around, Harry is doing better and letting Louis in more so he can help.

The theme of miscommunication comes to a head in Too Young, Two Ghosts, and FTDT. Two Ghosts mentions the fridge light illuminating the room, in FTDT Harry sings ‘comfortable silence is so overrated maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too’, and Too Young mentions finally talking at the kitchen table and apologies. What I get from these three songs is that they finally are beginning to communicate. Two Ghosts and Too Young are connected by a conversation they had in their kitchen. The mood Two Ghosts emits is one of complicated emotions. It seems to be about not being able to be with the one you love, the feeling of not knowing where the other is at because of your lack of communication, all while wanting to pretend its fine, but in the end, you are hurting and you no longer feel like yourself. That hurt and loneliness carries over into FTDT where Harry sings of wanting an apology and an honest conversation. Too Young appears to be a response to these songs. Louis distinctly says that he is, ‘sorry that I hurt you, darling’ and that ‘all those nights at the kitchen table, it’s something I’m waiting for, just to finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before’. Louis apologized, realized where he went wrong, and wishes that he noticed the problems and dealt with them sooner to avoid all the pain he caused, but as he said, he was simply too young to know how to deal with all that they were forced to go through.

While If I Could Fly is tied to Home, it also has a connection to Defenseless. Defenseless seems to be a lead into If I Could Fly. They both discuss tearing down their boundaries and opening up to their emotions and each other. While Louis tells Harry that it’s okay to be vulnerable and that he can help ease the pain, Harry response that for only him he’ll show his heart because when Louis is around the pain nearly ceases to exist.

In conclusion, Harry and Louis love each other very much, but their relationship is a realistic one. They have gone through difficult times but have always come out the other side together. It’s not a surprise that their songs mirror each other as their experiences are tied together with their relationship. With Louis’ album on the way, we are finally getting the other side of the story that Harry has told in the songs he’s written. I, for one, cannot wait to see what awaits the boys next.

#hope you like it!#my inner english lit student jumped out #havent had to write an essay in years and it felt really good

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stateofgrace-acoustic · 6 years ago

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Why Speak Now is a lyrical masterpiece: an essay.

//it’s here!! i really wrote a 6000 word essay on Speak Now. yep, I’m a nerd and also slightly crazy. have been working on it for the last two weeks. i am really proud of this and i’m excited to share it, even if not many people read it.

Special thanks to @bridgesburn-i-neverlearn who encouraged me to write this and also is an angel in general. Thank you for being excited about it as much as I am - I hope you enjoy! //

Speak Now is a fan favorite among Taylor Swift’s albums, even though it has always been painfully overlooked in the mainstream. It is undoubtedly amazing on more than just one level - musically, it is diverse, uniting not only country and pop but bringing rock into the mix as well; the songs are confessional, heartfelt, each one telling a different unique story. They feel almost theatrical at times, which the Speak Now tour with its musical appeal - the elaborate stage design, background dancers, and dramatic performances incorporated into the songs - capitalized on in captivating fashion.

What has made me fall in love with this album most of all, though, has always been its storytelling - and I’m sure most fans will agree with me here. In this essay I want to highlight what I believe to be a central reason behind the charm of Speak Now: its thematic cohesion, exploring the intricacies of confessions through songwriting, and of speaking - or not speaking - in the right moment. I will go through the songs on the album looking for these thematic ties, while highlighting what makes each song special in my eyes, pointing out subtle subversions and added subtext that make the songs more complex than they might seem on the surface. I’ll argue that these little subversions are what situate Speak Now in an in-between stage between naivety and maturity - between idealism and realism. It is this space of being in-between, on not quite having arrived at a specific point, but trying to make sense of the world through storytelling, that make the album so compelling.

Taylor talked about the central idea behind Speak Now being confessions. ‘Each song is a different confession to a person.’, she stated before the album came out. ‘In the past two years, I’ve experienced a lot of things that I’ve been dying to write about. A lot of things I wanted to say in the moment that I didn’t.’* In the album prologue, she mentions specific, crucial moments where the decision between speaking or not speaking up can make or break a situation - situations in which she could have spoken up, but didn’t, and so she wrote songs about them. Songs that are, by nature, retrospective - confessions kept past the time that they should have been said, emotions bottled up from the moment they were felt. And retrospection always has something wistful about it, the knowledge of not being able to turn back time, even if your reflections may have made you wiser in time.

This idea is central in Back to December, an apology to a lover she mistakenly let go. The progression of the relationship, but also her different states of mind associated with it, are symbolized by the different seasons - starting off light and sweet with ‘then i think about summer, all the beautiful times’, turning to the realization of love in fall, until ‘the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind’. Here she directly references her fear keeping her from holding onto the relationship. Now, the constant urge to relive the mistakes she made keeps her from moving on: ‘staying up, playing back myself leaving’. But she pushes the message of the song further than regret and apology - she knows that, as much as she would want to, she can never ‘go back in time and change it’, and as much as she loves daydreaming about it, that will never make it real. With that in mind, she tells him, ‘so if the chain is on your door, I understand’. She accepts that her apology might not be enough, that she might not be forgiven; she knows she needs to make her peace with that. This sense of acceptance not only shows maturity, but gives the song an undercurrent of sincerity; otherwise it could have been perceived as manipulative, an apology constructed to win back someone’s heart. Instead, it expresses an earnest sense of regret, and at the same time, the heartbreaking realization that regret is not always enough, and fixing the past is something beyond our control.

The pain of reflections bringing back detailed memories of something that is forever lost is also a central focus on Last Kiss. One of Taylor’s biggest strengths in her songwriting is her focus on detail - rather than talking about the relationship in general terms, she evokes specific images of ‘the smell of the rain, fresh on the pavement’ and ‘that look on your face, lit through the darkness at 1:58′. Playful moments in the relationship and traits of her former lover that she found endearing earlier - ‘you’re showing off again’, ‘you kissed me when i was in the middle of saying something’, have now become bitter as she misses not only the big emotions, but the little quirks and small moments that made her fall in love. The chorus shows the pain of having to face dreams shattering; ‘I never imagined we’d end like this’. The way she continuously recalls beautiful moments from the point of view of her naive, lovestruck side, and crushes them with questions - ‘why did you go?’- and pain from the present, gives the song a structure that parallels the repeated, sinking feeling of heartbreak. This is brought to its most unfiltered expression on the bridge, where his current life and distance from her is directly contrasted with the intimacy they used to share: ‘so I watch your life in pictures, like I used to watch you sleep. And I feel you forget me life I used to feel you breathe.’ As in Back to December, she also dedicates the bridge to a central message to the person the song is about - but it is ultimately not only one of hurt, or even anger, but of being lost: ‘I never planned on you changing your mind’. The central idea of the song is that she feels deeply insecure because she does not understand why she was left. It becomes clearest when she expresses the hope that he might feel the same longing for their times together as she does: ‘I hope it’s nice where you are [...] and something reminds you, you wish you had stayed.’ This is not the scathing goodbye to an old lover that she can master just as well on many of her other songs; its heartbreaking nature lies in the simple, evocative way it talks about the pain of being left alone without knowing the reason.

If the communication on Last Kiss is one-sided, as her former lover is long gone, on The Story of Us, it is dysfunctional and characterized by the growing divide between two people - another variation of the topic of speaking and confessing that ties together the album. Besides the many metaphors related to stories themselves - ‘i don’t even know what page you’re on’ - the clear structure stands out here the most. The first verse recalls the effortless chemistry they had at the beginning - ‘we met and the sparks flew instantly’ - and the dreams of the time when everything seemed stable. But soon the distances are too far to cross, at least for one person alone - ‘so many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through’. She now desperately wants to know how the other person feels, but has no way of knowing: ‘I’m dying to know, is it killing you like it’s killing me?’ The disconnection is illustrated in the second verse as the actions of both people are separated and contrasted - “see me nervously pulling at my clothes [...] and you’re doing your best to avoid me.’ and ‘how I was losing my mind [...] but you held your pride’, unlike the first verse where the ‘we’ was central. In the middle of the isolation, she feels the weight of the things that are unsaid: ‘I’ve never heard silence quite this loud’, and perhaps also the weight of her own inability to articulate her thoughts and emotions: ‘I don’t know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down’. The song illustrates the difficulties of communicating once misunderstandings and emotional walls are built between people. She realizes that to break down these walls, both partners would have to put in effort - “I would put my armor down i you said you’d rather love than fight’, and recognizes that she is likely not the only one who has things to say that she cannot put into words: “There’s so many things that you wish I knew’. At the same time, the issue can never be resolved if her partner is not willing to take a step forward, and so, the relationship is breaking apart without either of them finding a way back to each other.

Instead of real life issues with communication, the idea of speaking up in a crucial situation is taken to the realm of daydreaming where situations play out perfectly on the title track, Speak Now. It presents itself innocently - the speaker being an uninvited guest at a wedding, secretly having a crush on the groom. And in fact, at the beginning, the speaker illustrates herself as the total opposite of trouble: ‘I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion’. However, from verse one, a sense of cheekiness runs through the song - ‘her snobby little family all dressed in pastel’ doesn’t make the bride look too appealing, and ironic remarks like ‘it seems that I was univited by your lovely bride to be’ makes her seem quite a bit more feisty than she makes herself out to be. And indeed, at the end of the second verse she directly tells him , ‘You wish it was me, don’t you?’ It is still sweet, but also slightly taunting - he is the one who should have known better, and he picked the wrong girl. The part of the wedding ceremony where guests are allowed to speak up one last time, gives the song, and the album its name: ‘Speak now or forever hold your peace’. Even in a song as generally lighthearted as this one, the sentiment itself is quite serious, and runs through the sadder songs on the record as well - the fleeting nature of chances and opportunities to speak up, and the possibilites of regret if you let it pass. It is a challenge, in the moment, to raise your voice, but - as Taylor says in the album prologue - ‘if there’s something you should say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait.’ In her daydream, she doesn’t wait, and speaks up despite of her nervousness to a happy ending - and the guy in the song eventually thanks her: ‘so glad you were around when they said speak now’ - suggesting that he was actually unhappy with the situation as well and was too afraid to speak up himself. Even though it is, of course, not a line that is supposed to be taken too seriously and is simply the fulfillment of her romantic fantasy, him echoing her words, it can also be seen as a reaffirmation of raising your voice, as you might not only change your own life to the better, but effect others with your courage, too.

Even when Taylor sings about stories of love in a light of positivity and liberation, she inserts more complex emotions into it than obvious on the surface. On the opening track Mine, she recalls the classic narrative of two lovers meeting, falling in love, fighting and finally reconciliating with a happy ending, but gives it a few subtle but meaningful twists that sets it apart from her earlier, more simple and naive stories in the like, as Love Story. Suggestions that the speaker of the song had to witness love breaking apart in her childhood and grew up not believing in ideals of happily ever after are woven through the song - lines like ‘wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts’ seem upon focused listen, quite dark and uncomfortable in a song this upbeat and optimistic, even if the story does get a happy ending. And the central fight that occurs in the bridge of the song is directly followed by the insecurities boiling back up and threatening to end what both of them have built. At the end, the song is about the power of love to set you free and make you believe that stories of happily ever after are possible - but it does not happen on its own. The repeated mentions of ‘hold on, make it last’ at the end of the song suggest that only if both partners continuously put work into it, the happy ending is truly possible. A subtle sense of maturity that the simple ‘baby, just say yes’ at the end of Love Story does not carry.

Enchanted may be seen as the most straightforwardly romantic song on the album, but there are undercurrents of darkness here as well: the entire first verse speaks of being in a situation of loneliness and alienation from all the people in a room: ‘walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy’. It is a deeply sad image that is relieved by meeting the one person the speaker does have a real, intimate connection with. And while it is sweet and beautiful, the loneliness from the beginning of the song never vanishes entirely, as the entire song is a daydream - it is left open how the person that she has caught feelings for actually feels and responds. The sense of agitation that comes with overwhelming happiness is never really resolved - she expresses it in ‘dancing around all alone’ and daydreaming about a happy ending - but the song is never grounded back into reality, which gives it its momentum - it exists and stays in its own sphere of joy and hopefulness.

In this song, as in so many others, the important, revealing emotions occur at specific nighttime hours - here it is the anxious reflection on who the other person might love, in Mine it was the crucial fight between the lovers, in Last Kiss a remembered moment of intimacy. It is at these hours that emotions are most raw and unfiltered - which ties into the confessional nature of the whole album.

Taylor explores the intricacies of love further on songs like Sparks Fly, which, in its lyrical themes, can be seen as a predecessor to her album Red, as she talks about falling for someone that might not be the best choice, infatuation taking away her capacities for rational thought - ‘my mind forgets to remind me you’re a bad idea’, a recurring idea on her fourth LP. As happy and liberating as the song is, there is a certain danger to the attraction that Taylor is aware of - it could all end up badly, but she is too caught up to care. She paints herself as helpless to the feelings at first - comparing herself to a house of cards and saying ‘you’re the kinda reckless that should send me running, but I kinda know that I won’t get far.’ However, this simple image of total helplessness that does not give her any agency in instigating the relationship is subtly challenged on the bridge: ‘Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it’s just wrong enough to make it feel right’, she sings, suggesting that in some capacity she simply does not want to think about the possible results of giving into her feelings - she is aware there is something off, but prefers not to follow the thought further. It is a moment of almost conscious self-denial that not only draws strong parallels to songs such as I Knew You Were Trouble, but to another song on Speak Now that dramatizes the opposite of falling in love: a relationship falling apart - Haunted.

Haunted with its deeply dramatic presentation gives the impression of Taylor being caught up in memories and feelings she cannot escape or move on from. More straightforwardly than on Sparks Fly, however, she states right at the beginning that she could see the damage coming: ‘I have known it all this time, but I never thought I’d live to see it break’. A small part of her held onto the hope that is might still work out. However, after everything is inevitably broken, she cannot find consolation or a sense of stability anywhere: ‘It’s getting dark and it’s all too quiet and I can’t trust anything now’. Her sensation of having lost her partner to a mysterious force that made his ‘eyes go cold’ perfectly fits the gothic atmosphere of the song, and the chorus shows that she is still to a certain extent in denial and shock as she pleads to him to come back to her - ‘something’s gone terribly wrong’ she sings, completely lost as to what caused him to turn away after she thought she knew him so well. The amount of shock she is still in is powerfully illustrated in the second verse as well: ‘Something keeps me holding on in nothing’. She is self-aware enough to know that it is senseless to keep coming back to a broken thing, but her emotions keep pulling her in. Finally, denial takes over again during the bridge as she repeats to herself: ‘I just know you’re not gone, you can’t be gone’. The song illustrates the precise state between realizing something is over, and dediding to move on. It’s the state of lingering for a while longer, being pulled from either side and being unable to let go - being ‘haunted’.

These same emotions of denial and helplessness are central in the next song as well, but it discusses many more emotional states, too- Dear John, which might be the center point of my analysis, as I consider it to be one of the most complex and impactful songs Taylor has ever written. It is a song about the dynamics of an abusive relationship and about heartbreak that gradually turns into self-empowerment.

Taylor uses a wide array of images to convey her feeling of being trapped in the relationship in the first verse, always feeling like the weaker partner at the mercy of the other - she compares herself to a chess figure being rendered powerless by constantly changing rules, and evokes the image of a blue sky being turned into rain. At the same time, she discusses the anxiety that comes with being so powerless and being the subject of constantly changing moods - ‘counting my footsteps, praying the floor won’t fall through again’, as well as bringing up the already mentioned self denial that she is now aware of and that her worried mother brought to her attention.

In the prechorus she frames the song as an explanation as to why she walked away from the relationship: ‘This song is to let you know why’. Then the chorus turns reflection of her emotional states into accusation, the first step on the song’s way toward empowerment. ‘Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?’, she asks her partner to evaluate his own consciousness. But eventually, the chorus ends on a somber note as the accusation is directed not at him, but herself: ‘I should’ve known’. She regrets her denial in retrospect and blames herself for the way he treated her, a common reaction in emotionally abusive relationships.

The second verse, then, takes the next step: she examines the reasons behind the relationship not working out, and explicitly incorporates both partners into the conversation. However, while she accuses herself of naivety, the majority of the blame lasts on him this time, presenting him as having ‘a sick need to give love and take it away’. She further disects his personality, stating that he would not actually listen to her criticisms - or anyone else’s -, but simply think of her as misunderstanding him, refusing to see any position but his own- everyone else is on his ‘long list of traitors who don’t understand’.

Finally, on the bridge, she takes the crucial step up: instead of remaining a passive marionette in his hands, she takes back her agency, escapes his influence and therefore takes away his power: ‘took your matches before fire could catch me’, and, with her life back in her own hands, she is not only free, but a better person with a brighter life than his will ever be: ‘I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town’. It is the central climax of the song, but I would argue that it has a second, just as important one, as the central moment of subversion is reached at the end of the song. She turns the last lines of the chorus on its head: ‘cried the whole way home’, an image of humiliation, sadness and brokenness, is turned into the triumphant ‘wrote you a song’. And instead of the self-accusing ‘I should have known’ comes one small, but immensely weighted comment that not only makes him look like the naive fool instead of her, but places her in a position of strength on the basis of her songwriting: ‘You should’ve known’. It carries a double meaning - he should have known not to mess with her that young, but he also should have known that she would fight back by writing a song. She uses her own public image as a weapon in a line that manages to both be slightly self-deprecating, and ridiculing her former lover for underestimating her. He might have broken her heart, but she can write about it and find protection and self-worth through her art - here, Taylor discovers the power of the song as a weapon, a concept she would later bring to heights of success on mega hits like Blank Space.

Thus, Dear John takes the journey from a place of complete helplessness to strength and empowerment through art, and it chronicles the variety of emotional states on the way with captivating precision.

As multifaceted as Taylor’s songs about love on Speak Now are, it is not the only topic she sings about, so for the last section, I’ll take a look at the songs that illustrate topics of empowerment, revenge, and forgiveness, as well as the overarching theme of growing up.

Mean might be seen as just one of the many Taylor songs about getting back on a hater, but it is a truly special one, as she grounds the song in different emotions that all play together; a confronting attitude, making her critic responsible for his words and actions, a sense of the cheekiness from Speak Now, and genuine expression of the effect his words had on her wellbeing. She is not afraid to call out his behavior as hypocritical and unfair - ‘switching sides, wildfire lies, humiliation’, the accusatory ‘you’ hanging over the beginning of every verse. At the same time, ‘you have knocked me off my feet again, got me feeling like a nothing’ opens up a complete insight into the devastating effect his comments had on her. At the end, ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’ is her way of telling him that as long as he does not actually know her and makes up accusations, his words do not have legitimacy at all. She even searches for roots to his actions - ‘I bet you got pushed around’ before stating that she will not stoop so low to use his own methods: ‘the cycle ends right now’. Following up on this idea, the chorus is her big, triumphant refusal to further engage with him at all, saying that some day, she will be so big, he will not even be relevant enough to hurt her. It is a much more scathing comment than actually directly getting back at him would be, completely stripping him of any relevance. Toward the end of the bridge, she seems to leave it at ‘all you are is mean’, but then fires off some more accusations: ‘and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life...and mean’ It is intentionally slightly petty, playing with restraint before she gives into her desire to express herself honestly and to get a bit of revenge, after all. She is having her fun with the rebuttal as much as she is genuinely expressing her emotions and making a mature statement about taking the higher road. She proves, on the song, that these do not have to be exclusive attitudes - you can send an important message while still having fun with the song.

But as effective as Taylor can be at balancing revenge and forgiveness, she can dive deeper into either side of the scale as well if she wants to. On Better than Revenge, she fully embraces her anger and fury to call out both her ex boyfriend and his new girfriend. She paints him as a possession of hers that was unrightfully stolen, and equates her rival to a child that hasn’t learned proper manners when she lectures her that ‘stealing other people’s toys on the playground won’t make you many friends’. Thus, in the word choice alone, she takes the conflict to a childlike level. Taylor shows herself as a person with mature attitudes who has to teach the other girl about proper behaviour - and she does have real points to make: ‘sophistication isn’t what you wear or who you know’ - but at the same time, her wilingness to engage in the battle and her desire to ‘always have the last word’ reveal her own motivations which come from a place of impulsive emotions and wounded pride, too. The triumphant and gratified way she sings ‘Let’s hear the applause, come on, show me how much better you are’ shows her taking pleasure from the fact that her rival was, after all, not worth it anyway - an attitude that is very much not mature, but she knows it, and she embraces it fully in the song, which no doubt felt cathartic to write. And here, again, we have the function of songwriting reflected in an actual song. It is only implied, but after all, the titular revenge she gets is the song itself - even if she could not win him back, she can make sure that she has the last word.

Innocent can be seen as the opposite twin of Better than Revenge - even though they are about different issues - when it comes to attitude. The song is all about giving a person who slighted you a second chance, the reasoning for it being that stumbling at a point in life is an experience everyone shares, and so everyone deserves a fresh start at one point with no past baggage keeping them down - ‘who you are is not what you’ve been’. She expresses sympathy in the verses, comparing adult life to easier days of childhood when a sense of safety and security was taken for granted, and you had people to look up to and guide you in life - ‘always a bigger bed to crawl into’. The line ‘wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything and everybody believed in you’ expresses both a sense of disillusionment that comes with adulthood and the loss of the support structure that seemed completely self-evident for all of childhood - being left alone, knowing that no one will be there to catch you once you fall, is a terrifying situation. Adulthood is the time when ‘the monsters caught up to you’, a simultaneously sinister and sad image for everything that caregivers cannot shield from us anymore after a certain age. And as this is an experience we all share, Taylor implies, we need to look out for each other instead, and give each other second chances when needed. She talks about regret, too, an idea that was already discussed in other songs: ‘Did some things you can’t speak of, but at night you’ll live it all again.[...] If only you had seen what you know now, then.’ This part not only incorporates the album theme of speaking into the song - in the form of words you won’t even admit to yourself - it also calls back to the idea of knowing a better route to past events upon reflection, but the wistful knowledge that turning back time is impossible. As Taylor herself relates heavily to this experience, as she has illustrated on songs like Back to December, she can apply the feelings to others and empathize with her supposed enemy. The song in that way shows itself to be about the power of empathy to remind us of experiences we all share and are bonded by, and, at the same time, it is just as much about growing up as it is about forgiveness. The key to dealing with the fleeting nature of life and the possibilites of missteps and missed opportunities, as is suggested in the bridge, is to keep reminding yourself that changes also bring chances, and as humans we are capable of constantly renewing ourselves: ‘Today is never too late to be brand new’.

The topic of growing up is not left to Innocent alone to reflect; in fact, it has its very own song dedicated to it, titled Never Grow Up. The wistfulness of remembering the safety and effortless happiness of a childhood long gone takes center stage here, as she talks to a young child who stil has her entire life in front of her - yet, over the course of the song, Taylor gets lost in her own reflections and reminisces on what she has lost of her own childhood. The child’s innocence makes her think - in a heartbreaking way - of the inevitable time when this carefree nature - ‘to you, everything’s funny, you’ve got nothing to regret’ - will be lost and disillusionment will replace wide-eyed optimism. Having experienced it herself, Taylor wants nothing more than to shield her from the same fate - ‘I’d give all I have, honey, if you could stay like that’, but she knows that it is impossible. And so the chorus with its repeated mentions of ‘oh, darling don’t you ever grow up’ is steeped in a deep sense of sadness, as it’s clear that this wish can never be fulfilled. On the second verse, Taylor flashes forward to the teenage years and once again, recalls an image of naive, boundless joy, struggling to hold onto it - ‘don’t lose the way that you dance around in your PJs getting ready for school’. At the same time, she never loses sight of the fact that everyone shares the fate of growing up, and struggles with it, which might help us understand other generations’ struggles, too: ‘Remember that she’s getting older too’. The central idea of the song is the tragedy behind the constant wish to grow up as a child - ‘you can’t wait to move out some day and call your own shots’ - just to want to go back to the simpleness of childhood once you actually get there. Thus the mantra of the chorus can also be seen as a wish to hold onto childhood just a little longer, or preserve what is possible from it. But at the end of the song, when Taylor relates her own experience to the rest of the song, she comes to a rather defeating conclusion: ‘I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone:’ The only thing that is possible to do is hold onto the memories, they will hold on to you - ‘keep pictures in your mind of your childhood’ - and try to keep them safe in your heart.

Finally, the song that is left is the last song on the album, Long Live - and this song, too, is a reflection, but it is a much more hopeful, enthusiastic one that celebrates the people that helped Taylor get to where she is and all the memories that were made on the way. She consistently uses plural ‘we’ on the chorus of this song, illustrating the fact that it is not about her own success and story only, but about the community she has built along the way - with her band, her entire crew, and most importantly her fans, and just how much this community means to her. The song is a celebration of the things that can be moved when people come together - the way it can make the seemingly impossible come true - ‘long live all the magic we made’, and the way it can make seeming underdogs the ‘kings and queens’ of the world for just a night. She feels like she can take anyone on in this situation - ‘bring on all the pretenders, I’m not afraid’. This momentum, this power and beauty is something she wants to keep safely stored so that the memories can never be lost. At the same time, she takes a wider look into the future on the bridge, breaking her celebration for a while to think about the consequences of the fairytale ending, of things falling apart - and all she wants in this situation is the magic of the memories to be remembered, and felt even by people who were not directly there. It is, at the end, a love letter to her fans, for all that we have achieved together with her and that is yet to come: ‘I had the time of my life with you’. Thinking back on the album topic, it illustrates the wonderful things that can happen if you do take chances - if you take the courage to speak now. It leaves the album on a note of joy and a sense of magic the belief that even the highest dreams can be achieved, and everything is possible - when we find a way to connect with each other and fight for it together.

At the end, with Speak Now we are left with an album that examines love and life in all its complexities; incorporating fantasy and reality, regret and denial, revenge and forgiveness, loneliness and connection, wistfulness and hope into fourteen songs, each painted in muliple shades of emotion, all of them tied together by the topic of confessions and speaking up. It is an album that is both deeply personal and universal, and I have loved it for all of that for many years - I hope this love came through in this piece of writing, and I hope that I could make you relive your own love for Speak Now while reading it.

(If you’ve made it all the way to the end, thank you so much!! I don’t really expect anyone to read this, so if you did, I really really appreciate it. I hope you could get something for yourself out of it. And to Natasha, thanks to you more than anything - without you I never would have written this!)

*https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/taylor-swift-announces-third-album-speak-now-186288/

#taylor swift #speak now #vanessa talks #for a very long time #vanessa has never talked this much #she is currently questioning her sanity #she loves speak now way too much

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laurenlistens · 3 years ago

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Solar Power

Oh Lorde. From the moment my 13 year old self played Sober at 4:00 AM on an emotionally charged and vulnerable 2017 summer night, I just knew I had found the one. Lorde is one of those “no-skip” artists. I genuinely can’t think of any of her songs that I can’t bump to, even just a little bit. Of course there are the weaker links, Biting Down and Million Dollar bills, which is a shame because some of the other songs that came along with the Pure Heroine Extended album are masterpieces (i.e. The Love Club). Those are reviews for other days however, because I am here to talk about the loooooong anticipated third studio album: SOLAR POWER! This review is a part one, because the album literally came out 14 hours ago and I feel as though my opinions are subject to change. These are just my first impressions after all. Expect a part two in a couple of months, because her music can be interpreted in so, so, SO many different ways, especially depending on what your current mental state is. Now... Onto the album!

I feel as though Lorde is in her “Magical Mystery Tour” era. The album has countless references to psychedelics as well as simply being high in nature, and I am eating that up. When I listened to the whole thing for the first time I really couldn’t help but make parallels to the Beatles because of all of the sound experimentation and added noises, as well as drawn out endings to many of the songs. I genuinely don’t know if the Beatles serve as an inspiration to her or Jack Antonoff, however I can’t help but think that they had significant influence on the album. Perhaps my lens on experimental sound in pop music isn’t large enough and I could be written off as ignorant for saying “lol it sounds like the Beatles” but it DOES! I really love the use of harmonies in the album. I’m obsessed with harmonizing to anything that I listen to, and the fact that she just has these beautiful chords created with her voice built into all of the songs is absolutely amazing. The lack of harmonies was one of the things that very mildly upset me about Melodrama, up until she released the live recordings of select songs at Electric Lady. I can’t wait to see what she comes up with for her live shows in terms of backup singers, because I just know that will be amazing. The overall sound of the album was different from what she’s put out before, but I support it! Melodrama was super different from Pure Heroine, and I think that while Solar Power and Melodrama have similarities, Solar Power stands out as it’s own original entity. While some of the tracks were juuuust a little Taylor Swift-y, the album was raw and different from what we’ve heard from Lorde in the past. Solar Power exceeded my expectations (which I knew it probably would have, I worship the ground Lorde walks on) but I have to admit, I was a little afraid due to the title track...

Solar Power, the title track and the first single released, was not my fave. Far from it, actually. When I first heard it I was so overjoyed by the feeling of Lorde dropping new music that I looked past the fact that I just didn’t really like the song that much. While the music video was camp and it set a good vibe for the summer, I felt as though the song just wasn’t Lorde. I don’t know who it was, but it wasn’t Miss Ella behind those lyrics. It just seemed a little too happy and cute for her down to Earth and raw emotional style. I was let down by that, and I think a lot of other fans were too. Don’t get me wrong, the song definitely still had it’s moments. I love it when Lorde speaks in her songs, it’s sexy as hell and also adds a whole new personal layer. Solar Power was definitely catchy, but if it wasn't Lorde behind the rather kitschy tune then I would not have listened to it.

Stoned at the Nail Salon was good. A solid song. I really don’t have much to say about it other than that. I think it’s one of the weaker tracks on the album and I completely forgot about it after it’s initial release a little bit ago, but I think the lyrics are lovely and real and I liked it!

I LOVED Mood Ring. I loved it. The first time I listened to it I was very eh, but then I reallyyy listened to the lyrics and the tune just blossomed into a beautiful butterfly! As a crystal-charger and stargazer who turns to superstitions to balance my emotions myself, I think Mood Ring is insanely relatable and just the song I need for when I want to connect to my sad girl side! I love the chorus when she says she can't feel anything and implies that she consults the metaphysical to figure out her thoughts and feelings. I felt that too much.

Ahhh The Path!! I really liked how Lorde opened up about her experiences being a very young artist in Hollywood, and this song is a beautiful and emotional representation of that. This track was the perfect opening to the album, it is just so Lorde. I’m such a sucker for sad lyrics with happy music, and this song is so, well, that! I love how the song picks up with the drums, my first time listening to that yesterday was borderline orgasmic, just full body chills. Fantastic beautiful song.

I like California but I think I need to listen to it more. It was a little forgettable, but it’s a pretty tune and I want to have more experiences with this song. The lyrics just don’t really hit it for me! It reminds me of Lana Del Rey but from Lorde’s perspective, if that makes sense. I also don’t love the chorus but honestly that could be subject to change if I keep obsessively listening to the album, which I will be doing.

Fallen Fruit is beautiful. The use of harmonies and guitar solo really make this track special. I explained earlier that I was a sucker for harmonies, and this song takes it to a new level. It sounds a lot like Leader of the New Regime (and oh MAN will I get to that song) and I like that a lot actually! Also, the second verse changes everything up in a way that doesn’t stray away from the initial vibe of the song, and I love it. Fallen Fruit is a fantastic song, it’s imaginative and different from what kind of music is put out today.

Secrets from a Girl (Who’s Seen it All) is adorable. I really like it, it reminds me a lot of Pure Heroine, even though it doesn’t really sound like a Pure Heroine song! I love her coming of age music, and while this song is a little bit Taylor Swift-y, I really do like it. The lyrics are relatable to any girl out there, and it’s a great feel good song. I also think it sounds like Unwritten by Natasha Beddingfield, and that is one of my all time faves. The “wshhhhh” that she does gives me goosebumps. The ending is my favorite part. Oh my goodness, the airline voice, and music in the background is so sexy and so fresh. Lorde doesn't miss y’all!

I am not sad enough to talk abut The Man with the Axe. I feel like I literally can’t have an opinion on it yet because I haven’t figured it out yet. It’s a great sad song though. Like I know I’ll be crying to this in bath in a few months time.

Dominoes is short, sweet, and a great song. The chorus gets me good, and the lyrics are hella cute and also kind of sad! I love this song, it’s amazing and so versatile, like you could apply this to so so much in your life. I’m moving to college in a few days and I know Dominoes will be such a staple.

Oh my god Big Star!! When I listened to this for the first time I was like, holy shit. This is a Beatles-esque song to me for some reason! That’s not the only reason I like it, it’s beautiful and real and the guitar is lovely. I really wish the English language had more words for beauty and love, because then this review might be a little more interesting. This song represents the emotions that Lorde invokes within in me, and I think that is a very pretty thing.

THE LEADER OF A NEW REGIME!!! Honestly my favorite track on the album. The harmonies, the lyrics??? Way, way, way too good. What can I say, I love her shorter songs so much! It just gets the message and vibes across without being drawn out. This song is everything I needed it to be, and I am absolutely in love with it. It’s hard to put my feelings about this song into words, it’s one of those tracks that makes you smile and gives you a feeling in your body that makes it want to contort to the beauty of the song. I don’t know. I really love this one.

Now last, but certainly not least: Oceanic Feeling! Hard Feelings/Loveless has a very very special place in my heart for being a longer song that tells a bit of a story, and I think that Oceanic Feeling gives off very similar energy. It’s a very beautiful and calming track, something that is perfect for just zoning out and taking in the music. It’s a very sunny and beachy song, and it makes me angry that she didn’t release Solar Power at the beginning of summer but alas! At least it’s here now. This is a hardcore summer song though, and I don’t know how enjoyable it would be if I wasn’t in a warm watery climate. I don’t know if it would make Ohio winters more bearable or increase my yearning for the summer, but honestly I’m fine with any of those feelings. The last minute of the song wraps the album up perfectly. It’s a perfect last track. It leaves the listener guessing, and I think Perfect Places did that with Melodrama too!

If you made it to the very end of this review, wow! This was my first ever music review and I hope I was able to share at least some of my love of Lorde and song interpretations with you. Solar Power is a radiant and glittering ball of angst, love, and yearning, and I absolutely love it. It honors the power of the sun and the Earth while not being weird or preachy about nature, and it embodies her growth as an artist and a person perfectly. The emotion and rawness is there, as I hoped it would be. Yay for an actually sad album! Anyways, I’ll be back soon to talk about another artist I’ve been crazy about lately, and I hope to see you back again soon.

Much Love,

Lauren :)

#lorde #solar power #music #review #solar power review #music review #album review #pure heroine #melodrama #ella yelich o'connor

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whatupshera · 6 years ago

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It’s a Cole World: Why I am a J. Cole Fan

To be honest, I did not become a fan of Jermaine Cole aka J. Cole until 2013 or a little afterwards; when my mentor in college played me a bootleg copy of Born Sinner. Prior to that, my only memory of this artist was on the “new artist alert” on BET’s 106 & Park for video “Who Dat”. I remember saying to myself that this guy is different, yet I was not sold. I knew he had skills, but at the time personally I did not like Hip Hop. The genre, at the time for me, lacked depth. The current acts lyrics were not reaching me.

It was until Born Sinner that I felt something. I felt an odd warmth when I listened to this album. I heard more than the lyrics. I heard beyond them. I heard a soul; a living being. Throughout the album, I listened to a man speak about a life that I could relate to. The juggling and struggling with the paradox of desiring fame and fortune, yet asking oneself at what cost is it worth. My eyes awakening to the world’s obsession with money, but knowing that the only way to survive was to obtain it. I was a broke ass college student who only had dreams to wake them up each day; while it seemed that the rest of the world around me was living the good life. While scrolling through the feed of my social media, songs like “Rich Niggaz” floated through my head as I saw those peers who became more successful and affluent than I. And I would sit in my dorm room thinking: “Why me? Why am I not fortunate like them?”. Then I was given some relief from my despair of comparison with 2014 Forest Hills Drive.

I was in a state of depression, not my worse but it was worsening. Deepening due to the lack of friends, love, hope, success, and even belief in myself. I began turning to meditation to resolve my problems, however I was still trapped in loneliness. I remember placing Forest Hills Drive in the CD player of my Dodge Neon and finally being able to breathe.

“Do you want to be happy? / Do you want to be free?”

Those simple lyrics allowed me to let go and release the stressed that I had built up into tears. Finally, someone was asking me the questions I had been asking myself; and it felt like they genuinely cared. Throughout the album, not only did I hear a soul, but I saw myself. The simple notion that there was someone who was experiencing and perceiving life in a similar fashion was refreshing. The smoke and mirrors that had been between me and the world were dissipating.

There were so many parallels from the best of time and the worst of time that reminded me of my own hometown of Memphis, TN; where the hunger and need to become rich and leave can lead people into be on two sides of the same coin. J. Cole painted pictures of a young person trying to make their mark on the world while making decisions that lead to the sacrifice of relationships with loved ones, hurting them unknowingly through narrow view that had become dream chasing. Yet, they still managed to come to terms that their ways and strives to do better not only for himself, but those around him as well. I was living shit too. This world he had created through sound was a vivid as when I opened my eyes.

And lastly, he said to “Love Yours” which even now I play through the tough, dark, and lonely times. Those times when it feels as if the world is constantly comparing you to others in every way possible. I was wishing for an easier way to live my “best life”, but in fact I have been living it.

J. Cole has taught me that music has truly can transform one’s mental state. It can bring an element of humanity to an individual. It also can be pure love. So, thank you Mr. Cole for humility and honesty. Thank you for sharing your stories and be simply you. Thank you.

#music #jcole

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lattaescript · 7 years ago

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Roman Holiday ||01||

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Genres: Angst, Fluff

Warning: implied smut, implications of cheating, alcohol

Idol!verse, BestFriend!Jungkook, Reader is Jungkook’s idol sunbae lol Inspired a little by the movie Roman Holiday, and the song Roman Holiday by Halsey

pt. 2

It was a mistake. A one night mistake that you spent with your heartbroken best friend. And after that mistake, you ran away and erase all your traces. And years later you reunite at your idol group’s fansign…

It was a mess. A mess instigated by heartbreaks and impulsive decisions. That mess was now in the form of both his and your clothes strewn on the floor. And his built, bare body now lies parallel with yours. His breath warms your cold body, and it wasn’t long until your bodies were warmed by each other. And the only that thing that wasn’t connected was each other’s hearts. His eyes were still glassy. His heart was yearning for someone else, yet his body yearned for nobody else other than you. And when his glassy eyes precipitated with tears, your eyes rained with your own tears. Because you love him, but he loves her. “I’m so sorry. I’m, so, so sorry, Y/N,” he whispers. His voice is strained, partially with anguish, partially with desperation to fill up his loneliness, and partially just pure lust. Don’t apologize. You kept your words in your heart. Because as much as you wanted to scream those words out, your lips were not capable of words at that moment. Both of you laid in bed, sweat gleaming and both of you were still. There was an awkward distance between you and him in the bed– both of you were clinging to the opposite corners of the bed as if you were as much as even an inch closer, you’d die of a third degree burn. You weren’t quite sure what to do. You weren’t quite sure what to think. But before he spoke, you wanted to speak. More than anything else, you wanted the first say in whatever that has just transpired. So you were the first to break the heavy silence. “Jungkook, fuck, please. Forget all of this happened.” “Y/N–” “Please. None of us were in the right mind. We weren’t thinking. None of this–this…was supposed to happen.” And you throw on your clothes hastily and rush out of his room. His room you never came back to. It was a trivial thing. Or you thought it was a trivial thing. The whole falling in love with your best friend thing. You thought it was a trivial matter. Because he had a girlfriend he loved so much. Because you thought the way he looked at her was enough for you to accept the fact he was happy. Because you thought being his best friend was a blessing. And because you thought achieving your dream was your number one priority. But that one night of not thinking straight seemed to ruin plans for you. Just because he fought such an acidic fight with his girlfriend, just because he looked at you with those pleading eyes, begging you for comfort, didn’t mean that this night should have happened. You were so ashamed. He and his girlfriend was essentially still tied– hell, he was to propose to her in a week. But each time he called you after what he called “I can’t deal with her shit anymore”, you had hoped he had broken it off with her. But this time. This one time he called you, something was different. Something in his voice was irreplaceably broken. And so, as if you were called by a pied piper, you were drawn to his apartment once more. You were drinking with him, and one passionate, lonely glitter in his eyes was all it took for the fire to break loose.

The mistake was done.

And what were you going to do? Run away. Because apparently, that was the only thing you knew how to do.

Leave Jeon Jungkook, and leave to catch different stars.

You left him. Without a trace, you had disappeared. You moved to a different city, changed your number, and only left your closest friends and relatives your whereabouts. You admit, you were such a selfish person. Because you were a single-minded person and you only had one thing in mind– to become an idol. Years and years of practicing, and yearning for someday to be one of the best. Jungkook met you eye to eye while you needed to look at the stars. And so you left. But no matter how hard you ran away, guilt, the pure feelings you had for him as well as the tainted ones followed through.

Even after debuting as an idol and seemingly climbing up the ladder to your dreams, Jungkook always seemed to be there to pull you back down.

Because ever since you left him, you bore a hole in your heart that never seemed to fill no matter how many times you glittered about the stage.

3 years had passed since that day. You were a member of an up and coming girl group. You had already won your first win at a music show only a month after making your official debut– something rare to happen considering the huge competition between girl groups these days. And just last year your group had won a Daesang. Your group, Euphoria, was the talk of the nation. And you, as the group’s maknae, had made a name for yourself as the “Nation’s Angel” of Korea.

And so of course, there would be no “hiding oneself” because you were indeed a public figure now. But it didn’t come across to you that your path would ever, ever cross with that of Jeon Jungkook. After all, you both lead very different lives with the probability of you having to see him being low, to say the least. So you were assured that he would never be in your life again.

Well, you were wrong.

He could have heard your name. He could have heard your voice, your music, your laughter through radio shows. He could have seen you. He could have known about you.

After all, today, at a fansign for the new album release, you saw him. Right in front of you, proximity ever so close. For the first time in your career, you cursed the fan service you were so good at.

Jeon Jungkook. The man you swore you would never see again. The mess of your mistakes never disappeared after all. You stare at him in horror. He hadn’t changed at all– his doe eyes and his bunny-like self. But 3 years did a lot. His muscles had doubled and he portrayed an air of an adult man ready to settle things that you had absolutely refused to 3 years ago.

“Are you okay Y/N?” Eunju, your fellow member as well as the leader of the group, whispers to you. A staff behind you also ushers to you to check up on you. Upon realizing that this is a professional setting and that there were millions of photos and videos being taken of you at every moment, you snap out of it and you put on your best idol face.

“Yes, I’m okay! Hello! Are you enjoying today’s fansign?”

Jungkook had stared at you with a blank face for a brief moment.

“…Yes. I…I’ve been a big fan of you. Ever since a long time ago.”

And guilt strikes to your heart like never before. Your hands shake as you struggle to sign his copy of the album.

“I..I see. I’m…super flattered to hear that. I-I hope you continue to watch over us warmly.” You struggle to keep your voice poised, and you wonder if you completed a coherent sentence. The staff took note of this and hurried Jungkook off to the next member. You see Eunju look at you with absolute worry in her eyes.

“I’m okay, unnie. I’m totally fine,” you whisper as you show her that token Nation’s Angel smile. But the rest of the fansign, your eyes refused to leave Jungkook’s direction. You weren’t quite sure what you were feeling. Guilt? Resurfaced feelings? Annoyance? Your mind was a mess and all throughout the fansign you weren’t able to sit well. You felt sick to the stomach and all you wanted to do was be alone. Alas, you were stuck to the seat, forced to put on a happy-go-lucky charming maknae smile and continue roughhousing with your fellow members because that’s what the public wants to see– not some heartbroken, guilt-ridden, and lonely girl who still need to grow up and own up to her mistakes.

On the car ride back to Euphoria’s dormitory, Eunju immediately asks you if you didn’t feel well.

“Like I said, I’m completely fine, unnie! I think I just didn’t eat well for lunch.”

Eunju raised her eyebrows.

“Hmm. I don’t want to trust our maknae who said the exact same thing last time but ended up collapsing during a recording of Inkigayo…”

“…Unnie,” you whine as you lay your head on her shoulders.

Yuhee, the second oldest of the maknae line, turned her head to speak to you.

“Who was that guy, by the way? Did you know him? He was pretty hot!”

Seeing you flinch, Eunju glares at her.

“Yuhee, not now. She needs rest.”

Yuhee whimpers in remorse. Both Eunju and Yuhee knew then not to probe further. You close your eyes after that. It was true your mind was a mess– you didn’t know what to think about anymore. But you couldn’t deny Yuhee’s statement either.

“He was hot,” you mutter under your breath, hoping only a second later after you realize that you had spoken that aloud that Eunju, who was petting you to sleep, didn’t hear.

You could only hope that he wouldn’t appear in your life anymore. He was just a fan. You repeat that statement over, and over, and over again in your head until you are finally lulled to sleep.

But fate was cruel to you. Quite cruel.

Because 6 months after that you meet Jeon Jungkook again, but this time as the maknae of an up and coming boy group– BTS.

A/N:

-im so sorry to present to you this unedited piece of trash lmao. This is more of a prologue but pt.2 is probably gonna be the last (estimated word count= ~11k)

-if you think the beginning sounds a bit similar to hidden hearts, double doubts, that’s cause this is an alternative idol!verse au I thought of when I initally started out. The plot to hhdd is wayyyyy more complex than this piece, but I decided to post this since I haven’t posted in a while lmao

-You’ll find out why this is “Roman Holidays” next part!

-I promise hhdd pt.2 is still in the works lmao. I haven’t forgotten about it :)

#bangtan scenarios #bangtan smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook imagines #bangtan imagines #bts scenarios #bts angst #bts smut

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alltheswift · 7 years ago

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So I’ve been thinking about Long Live recently, and I think I found some crazy parallels to the reputation era which is insane because she wrote this song at least seven years ago. So, I thought I would put it all in one post here.

1. “It was the end of a decade But the start of an age” - Taylor has been releasing albums for about ten years now (yeah, I know, it’s been slightly longer than than that). In LWYMMD, Taylor says that the old Taylor is dead. This signifies the end of a decade and the start of a new age of Taylor, one where she is in control of her story.

2. “Long live the walls we crashed through” - She’s actually broken through several walls recently (literally, see below). But, Taylor has also broken down some metaphorical walls with this new era. She has broken down the wall that the media has built around her with LWYMMD and not promoting it with any media outlets. She has also broken down the wall between her and her fans by interacting with them even more online.

3. “All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you” - In LWYMMD, Taylor says “I don’t like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me. You ask me for a place to sleep, locked me out and threw a feast.” This might actually be a rewriting of this line in a way. During Speak Now, the media loved Taylor and placed her on a pedestal until they all suddenly turned against her. Taylor once owned the keys to the castle because in the media’s eyes she could do no wrong. But as the narrative changed, the media took over the control of her story and feasted on any negative press that they could write about her.

4. “Bring on all the pretenders” - This is somewhat similar to the last one, but the media has famously been very two faced and fake to Taylor, wanting to promote her music for their benefit but also tearing her down at any opportunity they are given. And now she’s facing them and basically saying, “bring it on, I dare you.”

5. “And the cynics were outraged Screaming, "this is absurd"” - Also somewhat similar to the concept of Taylor taking down the media, but this is exactly how the media first responded to LWYMMD (before the music video was released). Many people questioned the direction she was going and criticized it for being too dark. But, when the music video came out and people realized it was a direct rebuttal to the media, the narrative was flipped entirely and some (not all) media outlets started to understand their part in the creation of the “new” Taylor.

6. “A band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world” - I mean, Taylor has worn ripped jeans in the past, but this era is the era of the ripped sweater (see below, also note the sweater in the gif of #2), which is fairly similar. And Taylor is absolutely killing it on the charts, breaking so many records, and essentially ruling the world. We could be considered her band of thieves because we are all in this together at this point. Also, the cats stealing money scene in LWYMMD reminded me of a band of thieves.

7. “I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you” - Taylor (and her fans) are fighting the media together this era, and she knows that whatever happens this era, we will be picking apart everything that the media says right alongside her. Also, sort of a stretch, but this era is the era of snakes. And dragons are somewhat similar to snakes. Also, dragons have traditionally symbolized evil, and she is fighting the not so nice reputation that the media has created.

8. “Promise me this: that you'll stand by me forever” - Honestly, I don’t really need to explain this, but it’s been true since she first released an album and it will continue to be true forever.

Anyway, there’s that. Thank you for reading this all the way through if you did. I just love love love Long Live with all of my heart and needed to share.

#long live #taylor swift #mine #reputation #lwymmd

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alishahenderson · 5 years ago

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Lessons Learned in Software Performance Testing

Recurring problems in software performance testing

To begin with, conducting tests in unrealistic testing, the environment would be the most common recurring problem we have seen. If we’re interested in the performance of a certain system that should be deployed to multiple powerful machines, we cannot make reasonable assumptions about the resulting setup from a performance test done on a local laptop.

Then, when the device is set up in manufacturing, and the outcome is wholly distinct. As amusing as it appears, folks tend to achieve that more often than you would presume.

The main reasons are, within my own experience, laziness (easy to start locally, however setup having greater machines normally takes more time), absence of awareness that this could be an issue, and at times unfortunately only deficiency of tools.

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Another recurring difficulty is analyzing an unrealistic scenario, for example without enough loading, far too couple parallel threads, or possibly maybe a wholly different functioning ratio. Generally, you will need to examine utilizing the most realistic scenario that's possible.

Having said that we consistently initiate the software testing by collecting the info about this exam, utilize case, intention, setting, situation after which we try to make the scenario as much as you possibly can.

The subsequent one among the checklist would be not distinguishing among throughput and latency tests. And even more usually, perhaps not even realizing when we're very thinking about throughput or latency testing.

Let me complicated. From my experience, customers have a tendency to say that what they are really interested in is the throughput of the application, which means they would care to worry about the system as far as you can and centered on these sorts of benefits they produce the choice.

But whenever you research deeper, you will find out in 99 percent of In these cases the load is between Y and X operations per minute, never more.

Inside this scenario, it makes a lot more sense to function as placing the decision in an evaluation that stresses the system with somewhere between Y and X surgeries per second, also watch for your own latency, thus, making it a more latency test instead of the throughput 1.

To end the recap, the final point would be appearing just on aggregated worth like means and averages. These aggregated benefits disguise a whole lot of information that is vital to creating an excellent decision. More detailed samples of what can be reported can be found in the “Measuring performance" section.

The Difference Between Latency And Throughput Testing

To remind ourselves, throughput is basically counting the range of operations done for every a time period of time (a standard instance is surgeries per minute ). Latency, additionally referred to as response time, maybe the time from your onset of execution of their procedure for receiving the best answer.

These two primary descriptions of process operation usually are linked to one another. At a non-parallel the technique, latency is, in fact, a reverse of throughput and vice-versa. That is very instinctive - if I really do 10 operations a second, one surgery is (on average) taking 1/10 second. Should I really do greater surgeries in a second, the sole operation has to require less time. Intuitive.

But, this intuition can easily break in a parallel procedure. To take one example,, consider adding the following request thread into your web server. You're not multiplying the only operation period, thus latency remains (at best) exactly the exact same, however, you double the throughput.

In the example above, it's very clear the throughput and latency are in essence two different metrics of a strategy. So, we have to examine these independently. To be more specific, and here may be the most frequently encountered dilemma we view when we're speaking about software performance testing, for latency testing, we consistently should correct the throughput for example saying, "Now let us do latency testing 100 K surgery per instant". If we don't do this, the machine will differ from run to run in throughput, so building the latencies incomparable.

Lesson learned: should doing latency testing, then fix the throughput factor to really compare apples to apples.

Reporting and comparing performance results

Another place is obviously how (and what) to record and report during a performance evaluation and how to test the exact outcome. I'd describe it as just two parts: don't throw off the information and connect the dots.

For the first aspect, I most frequently find operation benchmarks stories showing only ordinary surgeries per second, or indicate, or even possibly some particular percentiles of their latencies. Sure, that makes the benchmarks seem quick and simple to create. However, when you're really interested in the operation, then you really don't do this. You'd like to see"all" the data.

For throughput evaluations, standard practice would be to count all of the operations built and after that divide it from your moment; point. That is efficiently losing this info. If you prefer to find the full movie, this means showing the course of the throughput.

Even out of that simply retrieved chart, you can readily spot issues. Based on the straightforward aggregated" throughput has been x-ray operations a minute on common" quantity, you could quickly jump to the finish that the green line is the best on the list of others.

Nevertheless, the chart looks weird. Although the throughput of the green lineup is really the greatest, you realize that the throughput is a lot less steady (but higher) compared to many other folks.

In other words, the green lineup is really"shaky", not a nice straight line. Within this particular example, we uncovered a matter over the ribbon scheduling mechanism.

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In short article, without this chart showing the maturation of throughput through the evaluation, it could not be possible to notice it by the aggregated result. We would have only been glad which the number for that green lineup is the highest and went to get a party beer overlooking an essential functioning issue.

For latency tests, the other frequent mistake will be to show just a normal latency. Orin slightly superior circumstances, some percentiles. Within a perfect scenario, you create a histogram effortlessly revealing all the percentiles which are giving you the full photo. If you prefer to do it better, you can view the percentiles growing on time.

To give a good illustration of latency tests, the chart below demonstrates the way the 50th percentile is evolving through the progress of the examination.

In the chart, we can definitely understand that the latency is rising over time throughout this test. If we published only ordinary or alternatively a good comprehensive histogram, we still wouldn't recognize that information. Within this kind of example, the system was again experiencing a memory leak.

For your album, Gil Tene's HdrHistogram is a brilliant instrument to build percentiles as well as in general latency graphs.

The second step is to check at all the graphs at an identical moment. In the event, you see a problem in 1 chart, verify it with the other. When there is a functionality problem, it truly is generally seen in numerous places, just about every piece of the puzzle behind or denying the theory.

We can reuse the memory leak case. In case there is a memory leak in a Java program, we have to start seeing with the memory up. Afterward, it's expected that the throughput will go down because more time is going to be used garbage collection instead of doing something useful. Relating to that, latency will possibly go up to equal cause (since you can see in the case). We could also seem in the applying threads CPU times - they will spend less time in the CPU since trash collection will take a growing number of hours. The more aspects you might have, the greater the excuse you get and the simpler you are able to locate the solution to the issue.

Finding performance bottlenecks

Isolating the origin of performance issues is very frequently quite a lengthy and debilitating process depending on the wisdom of the code itself, experience and at times even fortune. But, you will find some, let's the state, items of advice that individuals attempt to stick to.

The very first one would be to research measure by step, 1 move at a moment. When assessing operation, a common practice is also, "Hey we know this option is generally fantastic, putting this crap collection also helps, employing this change offered us better amounts before, let us take to all of it".

This method contributes to overlapping effects and in the end, you are not certain what the clear answer is. Therefore, we constantly work to make 1 step, one change, one particular code change at a time, and then test. In this way, you find yourself a whole knowledge of what is going on in your machine, which is critical.

In a reasonable point of view, we make use of every potential tool that we have. That is especially valid for accumulating the information. The more info that you have, the greater you comprehend that the body's behavior along with also the quicker you will find the annoyance factors. So, we acquire everything which we possibly can: platform data (CPU, memory, disk I/O, circumstance switched)and network stats (notably crucial to the distributed software), garbage collection logs, and data info with Java Flight Recorder (JFR) and anything else which comes to mind. We have also applied proprietary diagnostics in our products which report operation details in a more fine-grained manner coming specifically in the internals - operation times evaluation, dimensions and time of inner thread pools, and statistics in regards to the interior pipelines and also buffers, etc. You can also visit here to learn more about software performance testing.

Being an illustration, the aforementioned graph contrasts three distinct implementations and shows the number of platform context switches per minute. As a result, we realize that the green line's execution has been doing fewer context switches that might indicate that the machine will undoubtedly be doing more work. That was definitely confirmed by considering the throughput chart, at which the green line's execution experienced larger throughput.

Preventing performance regression

Jogging the performance tests automatically and on a regular basis (e.g. per day) is an absolute prerequisite. You have to truly have the info as soon as possible after the debut of the regression. As soon as we spot the regression, we could isolate it for just a few commits on this evening which can cause that, thus, drastically reducing the time needed for the regression resolve.

One-part is running the evaluations, yet the second aspect is keeping and assessing the outcome. Back in Hazelcast, we utilize PerfRepo, which is an open-source online program made for storing and analyzing performance test outcomes. It updates the charts with each brand new performance effect. Therefore, it really is very easy to see the regression - you find from the graph that the line just went. The project was developed by me personally during my time in Red Hat; now the development has slowed down a bit because of the absence of time but continues to be completely usable.

There are obviously some limits. You cannot examine every single element of one's applications, yet the combo matrix is actually boundless. We decide to try to choose "probably the very essential" setup, however, that's quite subjective and subject to a discussion.

Summary

Functionality testing is a challenging field to acquire right and many things can fail. The secret is always to look closely at these details, know that the behavior, and avoid only producing complicated numbers. This, clearly, takes much longer. In Hazelcast, we're mindful of this and we are eager to pay the price. What about you?

#software performance testing #web application testing #software testing company #automated regression testing

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