#his thoughts really did get away from me

[nburkhardt]

Part one Part two

Whispered reassures and promises. Promises of lists and songs on post-it notes. Laughter and praise between it all, it can make someone’s head spin.

It’s definitely making Steve’s head spin.

A quick brush of lips against his temple, so quick he thinks he imagined it. A gentle squeeze of their clasped hands, then both are gone and he opens his eyes to find Eddie now standing smiling down at him with a hand open in front of him.

“Come on, Stevie, let’s continue this on a couch and get something to drink.” Eddie wiggles his hand impatiently, “the floor hurts, Sunshine.”

His brain freezes for a split second before the first smile, a near blinding one spreads on his face. He won’t question the new nickname, maybe someday but not today and maybe he’ll ask Eddie to call him that everyday. For now he watches as Eddie’s smile gets brighter and wiggles his hand again before clasping it with his.

An hour later and they’re sitting on his couch, Eddie’s on one side and he’s on the other; they’re facing each other with their legs a tangled mess. Eddie had insisted, saying it was to ground him. He’ll be honest, he doesn’t quite understand that but it does feel nice. The only other person who insists on physical contact is Robin, but she limits it to a hug or just high-fives. If it was up to Steve, they’d be hugging, holding hands or wrapping ankles together none stop.

Okay, so he might be a little touch-starved now that he’s thinking about it.

It seems though, Eddie doesn’t mind touch. He’s actually the one asking for it first, can’t figure out if it’s because of his breakdown earlier or because that’s just something Eddie does sometimes.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Breaks through his thoughts and he shakes his head to focus on the man across from him, Eddie’s rolling his water bottle between his hands. There’s a curious look on his face, “you’ve been quiet.”

He shrugs a little before leaning back further, “Just, thinking.”

Eddie hums with a nod, dropping his water bottle in his lap and bringing a knee up to rest his head on it, “What about? Pizza won’t be here for another thirty minutes”

He opens his mouth with a lie, a simple ‘nothing, don’t worry about it’ because it’s a lot, today has been a lot to handle. Voicing out loud that he might be touch-starved would be another heavy topic. Despite sharing his deepest secret, his biggest insecurity. Sharing another one? It would be too much for one day.

“Just, that you’re a great person” it’s not a lie, that’ll never be a lie. Eddie is a great person, one of the best that Steve knows. It’s just not what he was really thinking though, Eddie will figure it out when he gets the courage to speak about more insecurities later. “How, um, did you know what to do back there?”

Eddie looks confused for only a second before answering, “pulling you out of the breakdown? Well, I have anxiety attacks sometimes, my uncle still gets panic attacks from time to time. He taught me how to handle them, told me the rights and wrongs on what to do.”

Nodding, he then looks away to stare down at his lap, avoiding Eddie’s gaze. He feels like an open book right now, feels like Eddie is staring into his everything and he feels comfort in that really he does but he's also so terrified of that feeling.

It’s…nice, having someone like this. He knows that his friendship with Robin is similar to that but this? This is different and he doesn’t want it to be like his friendship with Robin.

The doorbell rings and before he can get up, Eddie’s already standing and shakes a finger in his direction, “nah-uh, I’m paying. You stay here, drink the water and relax, okay?”

“Okay”

He doesn’t bother watching Eddie walk to the door, instead he lowers himself on the couch and thinks.

Is this going to last? How true are Eddie’s words? Will he really stay by his side and will he really write positive post-it notes for him? Write a song for him?

He feels like he’s back in Eddie’s hospital room, with questions but his mouth refuses to open. He doesn’t know if he wants the answers, this time either.

For now, he’ll let those questions stay in his head while he enjoys Eddie’s company and some pizza. And hope that tomorrow is better, either with Eddie by his side or without.

~~

He called out of work. He doesn’t do that, it’ll hurt losing that money but he can’t face Robin right now. Doesn’t necessarily want to face anyone right now actually, there’s a chance the kids or even Eddie’s band mates will show up. He can’t handle that, still feeling raw from Eddie even seeing him the way he did.

Currently he’s wrapped up in his blankets on his bed overthinking, again.

Yesterday replaying in his head, Eddie’s words acting as a melody from a song. Sometimes in order, sometimes just one sentence or even one word repeating over and over. If he wasn’t laying in bed, he’d be dizzy and distracted from it.

“one day you’ll believe me”

“I promise you”

“You are not an asshole”

“You’re a good person, Stevie”

“You have me”

He’s tired of tears, but it seems he has an unlimited amount in his eyes. He can’t help but think over all of those words, or just think of Eddie. If he thinks hard enough, he can feel the kiss on his forehead or how their legs were pressed together. It was so weirdly intimate, like he could float away and be present but also not. The idea of being able to not be here seems freeing and that's a scary thought.

All those moments helped him sleep for only a few hours, all the warmth faded before the sun came out and Steve was jolted awake by it. He’s been awake since, the words and memories aren’t enough for him to go back to sleep.

~~~~

Steve's head is all over the place much like my own. Sorry we didn't get more comfort, Steve has a lot of thoughts okay?? He’s an over-thinker. Don't worry more parts are coming :)

Also sorry it’s a lot shorter than the other two and if it’s too non-linear, it made sense in my head ending it where I did 😅

taglist: @zerokrox-blog @piningapple @i-wanna-combust @stevecarrington @henderdads @fiore-della-valle @eddiemunsonswife @mixsethaddams @momotonescreaming @ajamlessbaby @novelnovella @flustratedcas @thelastwalkingsoul

@hellfire1986baby @manda-panda-monium @xo-blairej @freyaforestafay @princessstevemunson @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @sapphirecobalt-1 @stevesworldxx @jonathanbyersbbg @fromapayphone @anzelsilver @adaed5 @koyislosinghismind

Part four

[cozylittleartblog]

JUST GUYS BEIN' DOODS

redraw of the meme under the cut

original by @knightmarebug

[a-stars-art-blog]

Finished the wips from yesterday

[fisheito]

rereading the nuca pink doujin and seeing yakumo tear himself apart re: his snake form vs his human form all this agony and self-doubt and silent suffering and fear of rejection like "if i looked less human would u hate me" , "if u saw me in my true form wouldn't that be horrible. terrifying. disgusting" , "if i admitted i want to swallow you whole would you think worse of me"

and i imagine him asking something like this to the crowd of clan members , who are , undeniably,, a group of Kinky Fuckers

they all smile with the serenity and carefully masked excitement of a horny olivine. masterful beautiful reassuring expressions (errr..... masked to different degrees depending on the clan member)

[dykedvonte]

Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.

The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.

It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.

In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.

[can-of-slorgs]

Completed the Shenkuu Stamp collection some time ago, so it was only fair to draw my girl Mirsha

[arsenicflame]

A grumpy lil guy! Where's he being grumpy today?

[al-luviec]

juvie buddies

[mischiefbuckley]

For this season being marketed like Eddie’s season again with Ryan doing so much press heading into the beginning of season 8… like where are all my Eddie scenes ABC??? Season 8b please deliver on more Eddie scenes and more focus on Eddie’s storyline please 🙏🏻

[zoennes]

30 NOVEMBER, 2019 • ZATERDAG, 09:41

[sysig]

Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)

[skunkes]

i dpnt want to go hoooome

[mars-ipan]

some postgame doodles for pride month

[softquietsteadylove]

Red and Green

Gil is glowering. He's been glowering almost since they arrived. He's happy to help, of course. Jack is in the winter play, and since Sersi is also teaching at his school, they've all come to help out with last minute decorating and such. He's baked five sheet pans worth of goodies for the bake sale taking place before and after the play.

Thena is on stage, helping Jack and a few other kids with putting fake snow everywhere. She's not exactly taking part but she's good at keeping them from throwing it on each other or anywhere unnecessary.

That's not the problem. The teacher talking to her is the problem.

Gil doesn't know who he is. Ben says he thinks he's the gym teacher or something. Seems a little young--aren't gym teachers always old dudes who don't actually play sports? This guy is their age, visibly handsome, even from a distance.

"You're a natural with them," the tall, blonde stranger insists.

Thena shakes her head, "I couldn't disagree more. I am here for Jack and no one else. The little hellions can fend for themselves."

She says, and then still decisively stops two boys close to the stairs from seeing what the fake snow tastes like.

"Well, I think you're a natural." Who does this guy think he is? He was moving some larger stuff around with Ikaris all afternoon. Apparently until Thena caught his eye and lured him away.

Gil rolls his eyes as Mister Blondie pulls off the fleece he's been wearing. His t-shirt gets pulled up a little with it, just enough for the stage lighting to really emphasize the full, washboard eight pack of abs he's got.

Phastos clears his throat loudly in Ben's ear. "Ahe-hem, Mister Stoss."

"Habibi, please," Ben attempts to lean away from his husband. "It is not a sin to have eyes, my love."

Gil sneers to himself. Thena has eyes. And while she wasn't openly admiring like Ben had - no matter how briefly - he knows she's seen them. He just...knows it.

"Gil?" Ikaris walks over to him, tugging at his own t-shirt now that boxes are moved or sets are arranged, or whatever they've been doing. "Wanna give us a hand?"

"Who is that guy?" Gil points blatantly at the man still chatting Thena up while she's trying to keep an eye on Jack and his friends.

Ikaris looks and shrugs. "Teacher."

Gil shakes his head at him. If Ikaris weren't both Thena's brother and Sersi's husband, sometimes he really wonders how they would have become friends. "Thanks, helpful--I meant how did he and Thena get to talking. She doesn't usually talk...with people."

It's not his most subtle tactic. But Ikaris doesn't seem to pick up on his greenish aura. "I heard him ask her a little about what she used to play. Guess they're talkin' about college sports?"

Gil's discomfort only increases, though. Thena did play sports when they were younger. He didn't. And he knows that she misses how she used to play soccer in high school and even in the first year of college.

His eyes are glued to them as Thena smiles and even laughs faintly as she talks to Whats-His-Face.

"What?" Ikaris asks him outright (no tact at all).

Gil huffs, deciding he's done just watching things unfold. "I don't think you'd like it if he was chatting up your wife."

Ikaris makes a face. "I guess not. But he's not. And Thena's not your wife."

Gil doesn't have a defense to that. He storms off so Ikaris can't announce to all the auditorium volunteers how flushed he is. Instead, he hurries up the little stairs onto the stage. "Uh, hey."

Thena stops dead in her conversation to smile at him, "hey."

He has to give it to him, if Mister Golden is bothered at all by the interruption, he doesn't let it show. "Hey, thanks again for helping out. The school doesn't have much to offer for things like these. Volunteering really goes a long way for the kids."

Gil tries not to scoff at Mister Perfect's magnanimous speech. He offers a stiff smile and hovers closer to Thena. "Yeah--I need Thena's help with the bake sale stuff, if you'll excuse us."

Thena lets him grasp her hand and all but pull her away. She only lingers enough to point over her shoulder, "Jack is in charge."

The other kids whine, but he's still riding the high of having all his 'cool' aunts and uncles help.

"Oh," Mister Friendly laughs faintly with a bright smile (and perfect teeth). "Well, it's already snowing out. You should stay warm inside."

Gil bristles as Mister Flirtatious' hand comes dangerously close to touching Thena's shoulder. He pulls her closer to him.

"I can give you a hand," he offers.

Gil is now borderline tugging Thena with him. "Thanks, but I need to, uh, ask her opinion on some things."

He wants to get right in the guy's face and tell him that of course he knows it's already snowing. He's not going to let Thena get cold! He rushes off the stage with her and makes sure to grab her coat off the back of one of the chairs. Maybe it's a bit obvious, but he loudly shakes it out and holds it up for her to slide her arms into the sleeves.

Mister Sunshine just smiles and waves before going back to watching the kids.

Gil sniffs. "He's friendly."

"Quite." It doesn't tell him what he wants it to. Usually Thena isn't warm to people just coming up and talking to her.

"What were you guys talking about?" he asks, realizing it's too late for him to be asking in a fake-casual way. He shoves his hands in his pockets as they walk out of the auditorium and head outside.

"He introduced himself as the physical education teacher," she states factually, which at least isn't the smitten fondness he was dreading hearing from her after their interaction. "He told me Jack is doing exceedingly well in his activities."

Of course that was his in; Thena is a sucker for talking about Jack, in any way, shape or form.

"Phastos is insistent Jack learn American football, but my practices with him have been paying off," she states with her nose all the way in the air with pride.

Gil laughs. Thena is determined to get Jack so hooked on it that he calls it football instead of the American 'soccer'. "It is a little less physical than football."

They get outside and Gil shoves his hands deeper in his pockets. Maybe it was dumb for him to get Thena's coat for her and not go looking for his own.

"Gil, aren't you cold?" she asks outright.

"It's okay, I just need a hand with a few of the trays," he excuses with a smile, unlocking his car from where they stand.

"What did you need my opinion on?"

Oh, right, the blatant and bold faced lie he told in order to soothe his own jealousy. What was he thinking? Ikaris was right, Thena isn't his wife--she's not even his girlfriend. But that never really bothered him so much as when he saw Mister Model up there chatting her up...showing off his abs to her.

"Gil?"

"Uh, well," he hesitates to get out as they step out from the school doors' cover and into the light evening snow. "I guess...do you think what I made will sell well?"

It's lame--it's super lame, and embarrassing. It's a bit late, isn't it? He's made a full dozen of five different desserts. Wouldn't he have asked this before he got so far into the process? And she and Jack were there when he baked them at Ben and Phastos'!

"Of course they will," she answers honestly, though. He likes the blunt and earnest realism on her more than Ikaris. "Your baking is always amazing. I'm sure the school will make back the cost of the play and then some."

"If they make the 'then some' I think I should get to keep the profit," he mutters. Thena laughs at his joke, but butter is expensive, and he's made three dozen different shortbreads! "Here."

He hands Thena a tray of the frosted cookies, which have to be separate from the rest to keep their design integrity pristine. He carries the other three trays himself and closes his trunk.

"It's nice that Jack is excited about it."

Gil smiles, some of his earlier agitation melting away. Thena, for all her insistence that she didn't like anything to do with children, lives for Jack. She loves coming to his school events, helping with parent stuff. He knows she's lied at her job so she can attend every single soccer game he has, even when they're at 4 in the afternoon on a tuesday.

"I didn't expect him to be so happy to have all of us here."

"Well sure," Gil chuckles, breathing a little easier now that it's just them. "Jack thinks you're the coolest aunt in the world. He's bragging to his friends right now about how you were a pro soccer player and know how to use swords."

Thena rolls her eyes modestly. "I keep telling him it's an amateur fencing class."

Calling it amateur is a disservice; Gil has witnessed a little of it giving her a ride once, and she dominates in it.

"I hope he never gets tired of having us around for things like this," she admits to him quietly, maybe even sheepishly. "Even when he's a teenager."

Gil smiles even wider, because Thena is just so sweet and loving under her calm and placid exterior. "I'm sure he won't. At least not you--maybe Uncle Ikaris."

Thena laughs, and it shows off her teeth in a cute way.

Gil shifts his load to open the door for her. He really didn't need help with anything, but he doesn't need to confront what it means that he was so desperate to get her out here with him just yet.

"There you two are, people are starting to arrive!"

"Sorry, just had to keep 'em nice and cold y'know," Gil murmurs as Sersi rushes forward to take Thena's tray for her. He sighs but Ikaris has some decency and extends his hands. Gil lets him take the top tray from him. "Are you sure I'm supposed to have this much real estate?"

Sersi waves a hand. "I've run this bake sale the last three years. I am not exaggerating when I tell you two parents at most will actually bring enough. Everyone else just brings a store bought cookie platter and lets it suffice. They don't sell well and they just take it home with them after the play."

"Gil will put them all to shame."

He blushes at the confidence Thena has in him. "If it's to help the kids put this play on again next year, then fine."

Ben has his phone out, snapping pictures. "They're gonna knock people's socks off, Gil."

"Thanks guys," he sighs as he unwraps his trays upon trays.

"They certainly look great!"

Gil's blood pressure spikes again. He turns and someone has let the golden retriever with a whistle around his neck out of the auditorium. "Thanks."

"Jack's been bragging about how his uncle is the best cook on the planet. I hope I can snag one for myself before the play!"

He's just being friendly, but Gil can feel his veins tightening under his skin with every word out of this guy's mouth. He looks at Ben, who's all excited and bouncing with his phone up. "What?"

Ben points.

Gil looks up, as does Thena. There's a pretty half-assed sprig of mistletoe hanging from the decorative archway put up over the table. He looks around; none of the other ones have this. He's ready to tell Ben to stop messing around. But then the presence of Mister Smiley and the memory of him flirting with Thena resurfaces in Gil's mind.

Thena's eyes go wide but she doesn't move as he pulls her closer. He slides his hand up her cheek, letting his palm angle and hide where their faces make contact, and not too briefly. Her eyes flutter closed.

Everyone's jaws drop (except Ben's).

Gil pulls away. He's kissed her close enough to her mouth that it will look the part, but not actually on her lips. But far away from her cheek that it can't be misconstrued from her view. He smiles as her eyes open again and she blinks at him.

He's never seen Thena blush before.

"You know I wouldn't kiss you without asking," he whispers before pulling himself away from her. "But, uh, come find me after the play is done?"

"H-Hm," she squeaks out, taking a few stiff steps away, her heels clicking like a fawn's hooves as it learns to walk.

Gil goes back to setting up his bake sale spread, some renewed vigour swirling in his chest. He peeks up from the table. Mister Perky seems to have gotten the hint and has started directing parents with trays to take the other (smaller) tables. Gil is satisfied.

Ben loudly snaps a picture, practically giggling. "Habibti, you're as red as the tinsel."

"Stop it! And delete that!"

Gil chuckles to himself as Thena rushes back into the auditorium and away from the commotion he's just caused. He does hope she comes find him after, and not just because he's her ride home.

Ikaris gives him a strange look but Sersi rushes him inside too. She leans back into Gil's view to give him an enthusiastic thumbs up. He blushes, but if Sersi thinks it was the right move then maybe he's onto something.

Gil takes a seat, ready to start selling. He has to admit that maybe he owes it to Mister Chatty to save him a brownie or something. But only if he gets to kiss Thena again later.

[formal-frog-shoes]

Twiststuck stuff i just wanna get out

Im a huge Cater multi-shipper

Normally this wouldn't be a problem

BUT I CAN'T HAVE ALMOST EVERYONE IN THIS AU HAVE A FLUSH OR PALE CRUSH ON HIM THAT'S ABSURD!!!

[james-spooky]

this is a test