#hes the guy who did the bad merchandising deal
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David Jacobs, the suave and arrogant showbiz lawyer whose clients included The Beatles, Marlene Dietrich, Liberace and Judy Garland and who introduced Epstein to the gay scene in the capital was also a key player. Bullock calls it a “support network for the entertainment industry”. They needed it. While success brought money, attention and a certain freedom from the mores of contemporary society, it also caused problems.
Until the Sexual Offences Act of 1967 legalised homosexual acts between consenting adults over the age of 21, gay men had been confined to a crepuscular demi-monde and were confronted with a rise in prosecutions and several ‘sensational’ court cases well into the 1960s that had served to keep them in the closet rather than face misguided public opprobrium, the attention of the police and, frequently, blackmail.
The business uniform of single-breasted sharp suit and thin tie might have still ruled the roost but as the 1960s started to get underway, the author points out, “We really see people starting to come out of their shells and being a bit more flamboyant and less guarded in what they’re doing. People are kind of realising that within entertainment, and particularly rock and pop, you can probably get away with a little bit more”.
In other words, there was lots of sex and drugs to go with the rock n roll for successful gay men in the business and that necessarily meant existing within a network of people you could trust. “Certainly, there were parties at Brian Epstein’s house where he would just invite anyone around who he thought would be interesting and fun and just let them carry on while he would pick out who he fancied and take them off to another room,” says Bullock. “There was a certain amount of you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours in business terms but there was also a feeling that it was also much easier to play in that way, to host parties for this kind of network and for the people this network knew in a place where you were not likely to be arrested, not going to get busted or have the press hammering at your door.
“David Jacobs was always being asked to come and get people out of sticky situations,” explains Bullock. “Brian was blackmailed several times, often by the same ex-boyfriend… including on one occasion when this guy made off with some of the takings from the Beatles’ Candlestick Park gig in San Francisco and some pills, private papers and photographs before demanding $10,000 for their safe return. Blackmail was going on so often, they got used to having to pay-off people to shut them up but when you have so much money lying around I guess it’s not that much of an issue and certainly paying off the occasional blackmailer has got to be better than going to a club and being caught out and having your name splashed all over the newspapers.”
From “The Network of Gay Men at the Heart of Britain’s Pop Culture Revolution” by Bill Barrows on the release of Darryl W. Bullock’s The Velvet Mafia book | photo credit: Scott K. Runyen [x]
#brian epstein#blackmail#i wonder a lot how much fixing was happening bts#lawyers and the beatles#david jacobs#hes the guy who did the bad merchandising deal#yikes jacobs has a grizzly end too found hanged in 1968#the number of high profiled gay men in london found dead and ruled a suicide in 67-68#no wonder why theres so much conspiracies theories afoot#bug book list#the velvet mafia#darryl w bullock#mine
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If the batfamily had to deal with knock off merch
Nightwing: Hey, I found a box of plushies that look like you and Robin. Seems to be what they were selling them. I hate to admit it, but they're kind of cute.
Nightwing sauntered over with the box and pulled out a plushie that only had a cowl resembling Batman's.
Batman (glaring at the insulting plush) "Styled" is being generous. The colors are completely off.
Nightwing: I swear you had a pink and blue—
Batman (snatching the plushie, raising his voice angry): The colors are off!
Nightwing: You're right, maybe if it were rainbow-colored, it would look like— Can’t hit me or it’d be considered child abuse!
Batman groaned and flicked Nightwing on the top of his head instead. Nightwing winced rolling his eyes, but as he looked at the cheap knock off plushie he smiled at how adorable it did look.
Batman (clearly offended): I could sue for this.
Nightwing (in a judgmental tone): Sue for bad knockoffs? Ever heard of AliExpress?
Batman (tossing the toy onto the floor): No, because I don’t shop on sites like that.
Nightwing (smugly): Oh, right, my bad. You’re the one percent that can afford those overpriced pieces of garbage?
Batman: Yes, damn it! I also don’t like my image being exploited.
Just then, Melinda, a crook handcuffed and sitting on the floor while waiting for the police, lifted her head, offended.
Melinda: Hey! I'll have you know all my ManBat merchandise is perfectly legal. There are just slight differences that make it fine. You’re here to arrest me for drugs, not for this!
Batman and Nightwing: ManBat?
Nightwing burst into laughter and walked away before Batman could react. Batman rolled his eyes.
Melinda: Seriously, if you want, you can take a couple for free. I actually really like you guys. Just, you know, I have a massive drug problem. Such is life, am I right?
Batman (exasperated): No.
Nightwing: I have a friend who can relate. Can I have the purple ManBat toy for... a friend?
Melinda nodded, revealing a missing front tooth as she smiled. Nightwing quickly grabbed the purple plushie and hugged it tightly like it was the softest item in the world.
Nightwing: It’s soft too!
Batman (tapping his cowl, sighing): Aggravation, frustration—give me that plush!
Nightwing (chuckling): Nope! Mine now.
Batman glared at Nightwing, who still held onto the plushie. He lunged to grab it, but Nightwing sprinted away, Batman in hot pursuit.
Batman: You're a grown man, and it doesn’t even look good!
Nightwing: Don’t care, it’s mine! You never let me buy any toys that have your face on them!
Batman: I refuse to buy products that resemble my own image!
#batfamily#batman#batfamily shenanigans#batfamily headcanons#batfamily adventures#batfamily fanfiction#bruce wayne#dick grayson#batfamily funny#nightwing#batfamily fluff#batfamily comedy#script fic#mini fics#dc fanfiction#original writing#batfamily wholesome#batfamily mini fics#canon divergence#batfamily microfiction#flash fiction#batman wayne family adventures#microfiction#dc stands for disregard canon#no beta we die like jason todd#writer on ao3#fan writing#hijinks
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Vox and Valentino: A Display of Trust
VALENTINO AND VOX
Not going to lie, I was the most excited for this dynamic and it just barely beats out Vox and Alastor’s rivalry. For four years they were both the big unknowns only seen for about 30 seconds in the pilot.
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There were theories about their dynamic that I hoped to god wouldn’t be true in the show.
Because they didn’t make sense, they looked friendly with each other when they hunkered down for the extermination. And there was no way one sinner (Val) could create an empire alone.
AND I’M SO HAPPY THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.
Valentino being hot headed and brash was not on my 2024 bingo card, but I’m here for it.
(Yes, he’s a bad person. So is everyone else in the show. Alastor hangs out with cannibals and most likely participates. It’s a show about Hell.)
I LOVE HIM. I love everything about him down to the voice, the fluctuating emotions, the drama, the possessiveness — ALL. OF. IT.
I love me some fucking drama and I was LIVING for the back and forth between him and Vox.
Valentino is in charge because of the power he has.
He’s not a words guy, he uses action. He refuses to change his ways because that’s what got him to the top. He’s ready to hunt down Angel just for moving out.
Mind you he still goes to work and fulfills his side of the contract, Valentino just can’t handle not having control.
Micromanaging Angel’s life down to the smallest of details. Controlling who he can talk to, what he can wear.
He wants his plaything back in his sight, he doesn’t want him getting defiant. He wants his leash short so he doesn’t get any ideas.
And the way he gaslights the fuck out of Angel hit hard. Getting away from an abuser and then having the distance you finally need to heal, but being forced to be in contact with them is so restricting that it hurts.
Jesus that was fucking with me.
You don’t necessarily have to be smart to manipulate people, and Val knows that. Val plays the part of the fool so people underestimate him.
He feigns impulsiveness.
When asked for strategic advice he plays dumb.
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That’s calculated, and it may just be written off as idiotic, but that’s probably what he wants.
He has to be playing dumb, there is no way he has survived this long by pure luck.
Vox makes do with him by his side because Val can gain trust and place sinners under his spell.
That makes him a valuable asset. Vox supplies the equipment and Valentino supplies the merchandise.
Because that’s all he considers those who are under his employ.
They’re things to be sold to an audience.
But Vox might not see the subtle ways Val messes with him.
Val’s a bratty, unsympathetic, monster that will do anything to get his way. With the guidance of someone with a more grounded personality removed from his issues is when he is able to see reason.
And Velvet can’t even do that, only Vox.
That shows respect and trust.
Even when Vox was spelling it out for him slowly it wasn’t a slight against him, it was a reminder and it held no malice.
If it did, Vox would have lost his temper as he did with Alastor. He kept himself measured for Val and reigned himself back in.
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He may know that it won’t get him anywhere after dealing with him for so long. If Vox didn’t see Valentino as a worthwhile investment, he wouldn’t even go through the effort.
Vox knows the best way to get Valentino to listen.
Valentino is extremely self centered. Vox speaks in a way that makes Val want to care, while still making sure it benefits him as well.
“OUR brand”
“Any idea what YOU would look like chasing random whores around town”
“OUR image”
Their partnership is of the upmost importance. Vox needs to make sure the empire remains, that the Vs have their power. That they’re on top.
And that’s a goal Valentino can get behind.
Valentino backs off with disappointment, because he enjoys violence. And he wanted there to be a show.
So instead he throws out something that could really get under Vox’s skin.
Alastor.
Val could have used this information to cripple Vox, make him vulnerable during a time where he needed to stay focused.
But instead, he uses it now.
Val was bored, he knew how Vox would react, and he wanted a show.
And a show he received. Pressing all the right buttons to see his partner go mad.
I want to see more of Valentino. So far his actions could be read as surface level — dumb and erratic — or strategic.
As of now, I’m assuming he knows what he’s doing.
Anger clouds your judgement and both Vox and Val were subject to that effect within a few minutes. That doesn’t necessarily mean Val is a fool and that Vox calls ALL of the shots.
Val acts idiotic around his colleagues because he knows they won’t take advantage of him. Until I see how he is around Angel Dust outside of those voicemails or around his other employees is when that can be settled.
I’m hoping this is a strategic play, because that would be an amazing use of misdirection. All the signs are there, and it could be so.
I also love how Vox is never fearful of Val and vice versa. They both would take steps toward each other that would be misconstrued as advancing toward violence.
Neither flinch. They look a bit surprised, sure, but never scared.
The respect is there and I love the relationship Val and Vox have.
#hazbin hotel#posted before episode 4#on my twitter#@cyjammy#vox#valentino#i love their dynamic so much#The Vs#Overlords#attention wh0r3#manipulation#playfulness
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Hola, I'm back for more food. Can I request a poly sbg (again.) with a fem reader who is like Wonyoung from Ive (and she's an undercover singer and they all find out because they searched up her group name because they heard people *cough cough *Barron* talking about her (yummy)
Literally crazy I remember seeing this request from other creator!!! I might come back to this and add some small headcannons for each person. I’m quite new to actually writing so this is probably gonna suck, Anyways!!! WARNINGS: bad grammar? Bad spelling? Cringe?
G/N = Group name
SBG Main Six x Singer Reader!
Aiden, Ashlyn, Ben, Logan, Taylor, Tyler, and Y/N sat around a table in the cafeteria, a crowded space. Y/N, known to them as a talented artist with a passion for music, was concealing her true identity as a K-pop star. The group often joked about how she could be famous one day, completely unaware of the truth. 'Seriously, Y/N,' Aiden said, his blonde hair glinting under the cafeteria lights. 'You’ve gotta stop with the 'someday' nonsense. You’re already amazing at singing. Just admit it.' Y/N laughed, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. 'Maybe someday, but not yet. I just want to enjoy my time here with you guys.' She smiled at the group. Suddenly, the deafening laughter from outside interrupted their reverie. It was Barron and his goons, making their usual rounds. Logan's worried expression deepened as he caught snippets of their conversation. “Did you hear about that undercover K-pop star? They say it’s that Y/N girl. Pfftttt can you believe it? A loser like that famous? It’s hilarious,” Barron scoffed, his tone dripping with disdain as he flicked his hair back. 'Wait,' Ashlyn interjected, her slate green eyes narrowing in focus. “Did he just say… that Y/N…. As in you Y/N?” Ashlyn points at Y/N “is a k-pop singer?” Logan and the rest of the group pause, before Logan speaks up. 'He’s talking about Y/N? What makes him think that? I mean you are a really good singer Y/N I just feel like if you were a k-pop singer we would know.” Aiden, despite his already upbeat demeanor seems to perk up more at that. 'You? A K-pop singer? That doesn’t surprise me. I mean you were always a good singer.' Taylor, ever the bubbly one, immediately perk up and looked at Y/N. 'You’re a K-pop singer? That’s so cool! What songs have you released? Are you apart of a whole group or is it just you? Are you the lead singer?' Y/N use to being bombarded with questions easily answered each one. “I’ve released a couple of songs, I’m apart of G/N, and I’m the lead singer.” Ben picked up a pencil and started to write in his notebook. “I think we should keep an eye on Barron. He might try to use this against you, but if he does then we’ll confront him and threaten to tell the coach. That should make him back down. He doesn’t want to lose his spot on the team.” Tyler scoffed, his eyes alight with sarcasm. “Right, and while we’re at it, let’s just invite him to tea while we’re at it. Have you met Barron? He thrives on chaos.” Y/N looked at her friends, feeling a swell of gratitude. “Thank you, all of you. I just don’t want to deal with anymore fans and paparazzi then needed.” Just then, Aiden spoke up his eyes filled with some mischievous and excitement. “So, if you’re a K-pop star, can you teach us a dance, Y/N? I could go for some moves! Just picture me on dance floor doing Body waves or finger guns!” Logan chuckled nervously, glancing at Barron and his group. “Maybe shouldn’t focus on dance battles with them around?” And a light laughter bubbled up from the group at Aiden’s and Logan’s comment, Y/N felt a flicker of hope. Maybe fame wasn’t as daunting when surrounded by people who truly cared, even in the face of people like Barron. This felt like her safe space, and she would do everything to protect it.
AIDEN: lierally your top fan. has all kinds of merchandise related to your group/you. He goes to pretty much all your games and you bet ya he gets a backstage pass as well. helps you do things like fix your outfit or do your eyeliner before your concerts. Bro will quite literally buy you so many accessories he thinks looks nice with your outfits and if anyone ever brings you or your group up he immediately goes 'yeah that's my S/O isn't she so cool!' Is offended for you whenever he hears someone doesn't like your music like what? His S/O that's crazy they make wonderful music!
ASHLYN: Ashlyn doesn't seem like the type to really like music in general unless it’s a quiet instrumental song, so she might if your songs have a calming beat listen to instrumental versions of your songs. As we know Ashlyn does dance so I feel like she would when she's not worrying about the phantom dimension watch and give input on your choreography as well as maybe show you a move or two she thinks fits good. Ashlyn would have a reaction to people bringing you or your group up around her she more like 'yeah that's my S/O.' Ashlyn probably wouldn't go to your concerts not that she doesn't support you it's just that her ears are sensitive and i don't think she could handle a concert even with her headphones.
BEN: As we know Ben loved to sing and still likes music and he gives vibes that he listens to just about everything so there's a good chance he'll like your music and even if he doesn't he'll still support you big time. 100% goes to your concerts and if your songs are appropriate enough brings Lily with him. Speaking of Lily you and her 100% write some mini songs together and sing/dance to them for Ben. And we saw Ben doing Ashlyn's hair he would do yours as well. Anyways back to concerts I feel like Ben would always have stuff for you with him like water, snacks, extra hair ties...etc.
LOGAN: Logan is also the kind of person to listen to calmer types of music so if you manage to fall into that category then he most likely likes your music and if you don't he'll still support you. He's the sweetest supporter and goes to some of your concerts. And when I say he goes to your concerts even if it embarrasses him he will wear merchandise to them. 100% has at least one small Keychain of some sort that relates to your group that he brings with him every where. Can and will name multiple of your songs. Wouldnt be much help in hair or makeup, but we've seen this boy dress he can help you absolutely slay your outfits. When people bring you up around him, he most definitely flushes at least a light red and ends up saying something like 'o-oh? Y/N yeah that's my S/O, isn't she so cool?'
TAYLOR: Another one that's just your biggest fan. Has a bunch of your merchandise and has no shame in wearing them out in public. She tries to go to as many of your concerts as she can and sometimes forces Tyler to go with her. She'll always do things like help with your hair, outfit, and makeup if you ever ask. Taylor 100% knows some of your songs by heart and will sing/dance to them with you. She'll watch you practice and loves to help you write songs as well as think of dances for them.
TYLER: Probably doesn't listen to your music often but he does support you and gives his honest opinion on if he likes your music. he can and will help you do your hair for shows or just in general. He won't admit it but if you look through his room he has at least a little bit of merchandise of you. Taylor ans Aiden tease him so much about it and he denies it as best as he can, but the blush on his cheeks says otherwises. If anyone ever brings you up he's the type of person to go 'oh your a fan? Name five songs' and though he claims to not like your music he can proudly named more than half the songs you've released.
#sbg logan#sbg x reader#sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard#sbg ashlyn#sbg aiden#sbg ben#sbg taylor#sbg tyler#school bus graveyard logan#school bus graveyard aiden#enzo0125
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The Day We Learned to Argue ~Part 3~
This is simply a fan translation and is not intended as a replacement for the game. Expect grammatical errors.
Silvio: "They haven't realized that we're princes. Once they find out, there's a better way to use us than just selling us off."
Silvio: "Especially with you as a hostage, the king would do anything to negotiate."
Valerio: "..........."
Silvio: "Considering the circumstances, the treatment we're getting now is a stroke of luck."
Silvio: "They lumped the two of us together in a treasure storage at the back of the cave with just one lazy guard."
Silvio: "This is just careless. With this, we might find a way to escape."
Valerio: "But even if we manage to deal with the guard, there's only one way out of the cave."
Valerio: "There are plenty of strong people out there, so I doubt we could escape."
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Silvio: "See that pool of water? It's seawater. I did some research on these caves beforehand. If you dive and swim, you can get to the sea. You can escape from here."
Valerio: "Then, let's go together—"
Silvio: "It's impossible for me. It's too narrow."
Silvio: "But you can make it."
Silvio stared at him intently, and Valerio's eyes trembled.
Valerio: "But..."
Silvio: "Calm down. There's a patrol route a little further from here. Do you know about it?"
Valerio: "I think I do."
Silvio: "Wait there. After a while, the guards will pass by, then you could ask for help."
Silvio: "Once you're safe, and if you really intend to help me, ask them to send their men to this side."
Valerio: "But are you going to be okay, brother? What if they find out you're alone?"
Silvio: "It's better than waiting here to be sold off as a pair."
Valerio: "I understand."
Silvio: "Once you're mentally prepared, go."
Just as Silvio quietly uttered those words, the man who had been lying down sat up.
Man: "What are you two whispering about over there? Come closer."
Man: "You're valuable merchandise. If you behave, nothing bad will happen to you."
Valerio: ".........."
Silvio: "I'll distract him."
Silvio: "When you're ready, dive. But if you think it's impossible, turn back immediately."
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Valerio: "Okay."
Silvio signaled to Valerio and took a deep breath.
Silvio: "Hey, you idiot brother! It's your fault we got caught in this mess. Quit whimpering!"
Silvio: "I don't want to see your face anymore. Get lost!"
Man: "What's going on?"
Silvio: "This guy's just annoying. He's pissing me off."
As Silvio spoke, he walked over to the man.
Silvio: "Anyway, he's always..."
Listening to Silvio's voice from behind, Valerio took a deep breath.
Having made up his mind, he dove into the cold water and passed through a narrow gap. As he continued to swim alone in the dark, he saw a light and followed it.
Even after swimming to shore, Valerio, with his tired body, didn't rest and started running on the sandy beach.
Meanwhile, inside the dim cave一
Man: "Hmm, where's the other one?"
Noticing the absence of any sound, the man suddenly looked around the cave.
Man: "Is he really here? Hey, kid, try calling your little brother."
Silvio: "I don't know, and I don't care."
The man, eyeing Silvio, raised an eyebrow and approached.
Man: "What are you hiding? Spit it out! Don't play dumb with me!"
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Silvio: "..........."
Silvio remained silent, and just as the man raised his fist in the air一
Valerio: "Brother!"
Valerio: "Um, I slipped and fell in the water! Help!"
Silvio's eyes widened as he heard a voice coming from the back.
Man: "What? He's here, after all. Tricky bastard."
As the man lowered his fist, Silvio sprinted toward the source of the voice.
Silvio: "You..."
Seeing Valerio standing there drenched, he relaxed and let out a sigh of relief.
Valerio: "I'm glad I made it back before getting caught."
Silvio: "Yeah, right! Why the hell did you come back!?"
Valerio: "Why? To prevent things from getting worse."
Valerio: "Don't worry; I've informed the guards properly. I even gave them my handkerchief with my name on it, so that everything would go smoothly."
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Silvio: "Even so, you should know that returning here is dangerous."
Valerio: "That goes for you too."
Silvio: "I'm stronger than you! Don't lump us together, you stupid brother."
Silvio: "I'll become strong enough to defeat them soon, unlike you."
Valerio: "I can become strong, too! Just wait and see!"
Silvio: "You'll never be able to do it if you're a crybaby and a wimp. But hey, you can run away again."
Valerio: "No! I promised you at the beginning that I wouldn't run away."
Silvio: "Shut up! Act like a proper little brother and listen for once!"
Valerio: "You're not a good brother, so why would I listen to you!?"
Silvio: "Tch. You're always so whiny."
Valerio: "I promised not to cry. Besides, I stopped whining."
Silvio: "You act like you're all grown up, but you're just a kid."
Valerio: "You're a kid, too. We're only two years apart, so I'll catch up soon."
Silvio: "Even if you catch up to me, at that time, I'll be two years older. Stupid."
Valerio: "By the time we're adults, a two-year age gap won't matter much."
Silvio: "You don't know about that."
Man: "Hey, you brats, shut up!"
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Valerio & Silvio: “..........”
Valerio and Silvio exchanged glances before lowering their voices and continuing.
Silvio: "If you play your cards right, the guards will be here shortly."
Silvio: "All we have to do is protect ourselves from being taken hostage. Got it?"
Valerio: "Okay. We just need to focus on getting out of here without being caught by those men."
Silvio: "Let's come up with a plan. First, let's stand back to back so we won't be surrounded. And then..."
The guards arrived at the cave shortly afterward.
Following the plan they had prepared in advance, the two of them sprinted through the cave, protecting each other's backs, and were rescued by the guards.
The thieves were captured, the rumors about monsters disappeared, and the seaside returned to being a fun playground for the town's children.
Even after the resolution of the incident, Valerio and Silvio's relationship remained that of "quarrelsome brothers."
But if there was one thing that had changed一
Silvio: “Damn it, you stepped on my foot when the bandit attacked earlier, didn’t you? Thanks to you, I almost died.”
Valerio: “You’re one to talk! You head-butted me while trying to dodge them!”
Silvio: “A little nosebleed won't hurt you. I was on the verge of death, you know?”
Silvio: “They almost got me when I stumbled.”
Valerio: “You could have quickly fixed your posture. You’re two years older than me, so you should’ve been able to handle that.”
When Silvio saw Valerio cheekily retorting instead of crying, he lowered his face and secretly smiled.
---------Flashback Ends--------
Rio: "Alright, just as I thought, it was an easy victory."
Silvio: "I made this guy talk. It seems they've hidden the stolen jewelry in this cabin."
Silvio tossed the man he had grabbed by the collar onto the ground.
Rio: "I see. In that case, let's confirm that first and then contact Lord Sariel."
Rio: "By the way, the fact that you're here means this might be related to Benitoite."
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Silvio: "There's no point in hiding it. As you said, these guys are Benitoite thugs."
Silvio: "But in addition to the thugs, there are also nobles from Benitoite and Rhodolite involved in this case."
Silvio: "I want to use this opportunity to expose and emphasize the responsibility of both sides. Hey, mutt, lend me a hand."
Rio: "I don't want to. Why should I?"
Silvio: "The Rhodolite noble involved in this incident is the guy who was hitting on that woman before."
Rio: "I'll do it! Let's catch him quickly and settle this!"
Rio: "I'll put my heart into it if it's for my master. There won't be any mistakes, I promise."
Silvio: "Whatever. But I agree that there's no room for mistakes."
Silvio: "I'll take command. Work your ass off, damn mutt."
By cooperating, the power of the brothers multiplied. They can defeat any opponent and overcome any difficulty. They may not be aware of it now, but they will surely realize it one day.
Part 1 ╎ Part 2 ╎ Part 3 ╎ Part 4
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Ford swears the universe is out to get him sometimes. He's been through hell and back, lost and regained everything. It's quite a lot of complex feelings and emotions for one man to deal with in such short bursts of time.
Thankfully, he and Stanley have, in their advanced age, been able to talk and settle their differences the way normal people should. 30 years apart from your twin, and in his case, stuck hopping between dimensions, makes a man think and look inward. Introspection and all that.
However, there are some feelings that are harder to talk about with your twin. Such as the undeniable lust he's developed for Stanley over the weeks they've been alone on the Stan O’ War II.
It all started as a wet dream, him slowly undressing his twin, lavishing on that gut he's grown over the years, laving at rosy colored nipples he recalls seeing poke out of his thin white undershirts and finally sinking to his knees to worship his cock the way it should.
Sure Ford woke up in a cold sweat, harder than he's been in his life, panicking when he heard the object of his dream snoring loudly next to him in their shared bed and then quickly running to the bathroom to take the coldest shower he could. But all of that was normal, right? Anyone could have wild dreams like that, it doesn't mean anything is wrong with him. He's not weird, don't look at him like that, you're the weird one, not Stanford Pines thank you very, very much!
No, he's just weird himself. He’ll admit it. Begrudgingly, of course.
After two straight weeks of awkward boners that he had to hide, wet dreams that he awoke from only to find himself rutting against his brother’s leg, and staring disrespectfully at his brother's ass in those pants, did Ford have to admit he felt something more than brotherly for him.
Maybe he's always felt his way. He can recall feeling jealous when Stanley would bring home girls, he remembers thinking how much better it would be if they dated. After all, who knew his twin better than him? Ford knew all of Stanley's favorite movies, foods, comic book heros. He knew the way Stanley laughed, cried, grumbled when upset and moody, clicked his jaw when thinking really hard about something. He knew it all.
He also knew Stanley didn't feel the same way about him.
So, Ford did what he always did. He remained silent about it, keeping his findings to himself to take to his grave. Perhaps in the next life he wouldn't be cursed to share the same blood as Stanley, and they could be together.
However, until that day came, Ford was perfectly content to lewdly stare at his brother's thick ass and thighs when he worked in the kitchen.
Which is where his life started to fall apart. He finally came to terms with his fucked up lustful feelings for Stanley, and now this.
Stan bent over to grab something from under the counter and his shirt rode up his back. Ford spotted something white poking out from under his pants that were not his usual boxers.
“Stanley, did you get new underwear the last time we were in port?” Ford asked. Stan straighted.
“No.” Ford stood and yanked up the back of Stan's shirt, ignoring the indignant cry of “Hey! Easy on the merchandise, Sixer!”
Well, Stanley hadn't been lying. He wasn't wearing new underwear. He was wearing a diaper.
Oh no, did he do this? Did the memory gun make him lose the ability to control his bladder?
“Jesus, Sixer, warn a guy before you just start molestin’ him.” Stan pulled away from Ford's grasps, pulling his shirt back down, cheeks red. “What's with the face?”
“What face?” Ford asked. Stan rolled his eyes and said.
“That face, the one you got on. Lookin’ like a kicked puppy ‘n shit.” Ford swallowed.
“Stanley.” He grabbed his twin's hand gently. “Did…did I do this to you?”
“Uh, do what?”
“The diaper. Are you wearing those because of the memory gun, did I render you incontinent?” Stan's face lit up redder than a fire engine. Great, now he embarrassed him. Fuck, he was such a bad brother. He ruined Stan's body and he'd been so busy being a perverted freak that he didn't notice until now!
Stan mumbled something. “I…li…it.” Ford blinked.
“I'm sorry, what?”
“I like it, alright!?” Stan almost shouted before turning away to hide his face. “I don't need to wear them, I want to.”
“Why?” Ford pressed. He placed a hand on Stan's shoulder and turned him slightly. “Please Stanley, I want to understand.”
“It's...ugh, s’hard to explain, alright?” Stan huffed, wringing his hands together. “When…when you left through the portal, I worked until I made myself sick to bring you back and honestly, wasn't in a great place mentally. I was neglectin’ myself and my body, and accidentally wet myself once or twice. So, to save my pants and dignity, I bought diapers.”
Ford nodded along. He could understand that. Effective use of diapers to keep working longer.
“And well, I found I liked them, like…a lot.” Stan lifted the front of his shirt a little and lowered the waistband of his pants just a tad. Now Ford could see that they were decorated with little bunnies. “It's…it's like a comfortin’ thing for me. I can hide them pretty well under my clothes.” He rubbed the back of his head nervously. “I'm sorry you had to see them. If it weirds you out, then I'll stop.”
“No!” Ford replied suddenly before backtracking at Stan's bewildered face. “No, I mean. It's not weird, it makes you comfortable and I certainly won't judge you for it.”
Stan chuckled. “Thanks Sixer. I appreciate it.”
***
Ford, out of respect for his sweet baby brother swore he wouldn't do research on the topic of adult diaper lovers. Mostly because when he tried to ask if Stan got any sexual arousal for it, he was almost thrown overboard.
So he kept silent. Or at least tried to. He very quickly found Stan’s hiding spot for the diapers, and found himself getting aroused at them too.
The thought of his twin wearing such cute patterns and extra thick padding to make him waddle was almost too much to handle. He imagined grasping at the front of the diapers, cooing how his sweet Stanley had been a good boy, wetting himself like he was supposed to and how he'd change his baby brother if he needed it.
It made Ford so fucking hard. He could almost taste the wonderful feeling of grasping Stan's hard cock through the soaked padding and jerking him off until he came with a wail of Ford's name.
Still, he didn't look anything up, he didn't riddle his sibling with questions, he left his lustful thoughts safely shoved into the darkest corners of his soul.
This worked for about a week. It seemed all he could do was see those fucking things and it was turning him feral. Stan lifted his arms above his head to get dressed? The diapers were poking out, he had fallen overboard and came back to the deck soaking wet? The diapers were waterlogged and sagged almost comically. Stan got a look of relief on his face while fishing? No doubt he was using them, right there, where Ford could see and by God he was foaming at the mouth. It was like Stanley knew he was driving his twin wild with unbridled desire.
He couldn't take it, he was going to yank his dick off at this point.
“Hey, Sixer, I'm headed up too to do a spot of fishing.”
“Yes, yes. Ford waved over his shoulder as he scribbled in his journal to try and keep his horiness level to a minimum. “Go have fun, I'll be down here.”
“Well, actually I thought you'd like to join me. It's nice out today.”
Ford looked up finally, and Stanley was standing there, wearing a t- shirt and a pair of shorts that barely went past mid thigh. The diapers were completely obvious through the thin material. He felt the last of his sanity snap, along with the pencil in his hand. There was a smirk then Stan left, heading up the stairs to the top deck.
He didn't even make it three steps from the door before Ford pounced. He tackled Stan to the ground, and growled at him.
“Stanley. Are you showing off your diapers on purpose now?”
Stan's red face and neck said it all. “Took you long enough to notice, it botherin’ ya Poindexter? Ford couldn't handle it anymore.
He kissed him. Mushing their mouths together, he let himself think for a single spare moment that they both felt this way. That Stanley wanted him.
Stan didn't shove him off but he certainly didn't return the kiss. Ford pulled away, red face. “Oh Stanley, I'm sorry, please don't hate me.” He stood and backed away until his lower back hit the railing.
“Ford.” Stan started as he stood up. “I had no idea.”
“Of course not. I hid it.” Ford replied softly. “I was already a freak with six fingers, I had to hide the fact that I felt more than platonic love for my twin.”
Stan stood next to him. “Ford, you know I've never thought of you as a freak.” He took Ford's hand and kissed each finger tip as Ford watched on, pupils blown. “‘Sides, if you're a freak I'm one too. I like to wear diapers and imagine these hands jacking me off through the wet ones.”
Ford let out a shaky breath. “Well then Stanley, why didn't you say so earlier?”
“Cause teasin’ you is more fun.” Stan replied smugly. “I thought I was just botherin’ you, now I can see I was botherin’ you in a different way.”
Ford yanked his brother in for another kiss, groaning as Stan returned it. “Fuck you're a brat, and I think it's time to show you what I do with brats.”
Stanley couldn't be happier.
I hope this was what you were looking for! 😁
YESSS!!! YESSS!!!
oh my goddd yes perfect. ford speedrunning the stages of grief re: his feelings for stan and a POWERFUL kink awakening, PLUS stan teasing ford?? SO GOOD. SO GOOD THANK YOU.
(haven't been in a great mood tbh so this was especially wonderful <3)
THANK YOU!!
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What’s your opinion on the newest chapter bc that ending caught me tf off guard (if ykyk)
I love this chapter it’s so cool! I like that Mitsuba is helping Kou, and that Hanako the leader of the ghosts, was scared of the middle schooler’s haunted house. I also appreciate that everyone was together instead of the usual mitsukou/hananene split up. (They did split up by the end of the chapter again...but I’ll take what I can get.)
This part was nice too.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7bb43934d579534d6b1da64b137e25c8/f5fda9279c9ed377-8f/s540x810/6dd9e52fd911746c15fdc43d3efbb83619a29438.jpg)
I wasn’t expecting it, but it makes sense Mitsuba wants to push Kou to be with Nene considering this is his mentality recently.
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MY AWFUL TRIO IS HERE TOO!
Aoi has a herbs tea stand! LOOK AT HER! I forgot there are more people in the gardening club besides her uiyguyg
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AND AKANE USED A HEART IN HIS SPEECH BUBBLE?? This boy really is down bad, he gets rejected when he already knows Aoi likes him back but he keep looking at the bright side (he is so genuinely happy thinking about how cute she is when she’s shy. He is adorable.)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b0b1880c6458f8fc9db0d7bcc31a4344/f5fda9279c9ed377-57/s540x810/ab8053a43807cf273ed2655a7c7126d9a9fd9c6d.jpg)
He cried a river when he was rejected what a loser, and Aoi is so blushy when she turns him down, she looks almost troubled?? Is she angry she can’t bring herself to agree? Is she troubled she already agreed to go with Teru? Idk but she is adorable. They are so stupid, they make my heart melt.
SPEAKING OF TERU, I love how he happily (threatened) invited Aoi on a date while confident Akane will be there. My bars are very low I am absolutely counting this as a terukaneaoi date LET’S GOO
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Love how Aoi is scared and nervous but the idea Akane will be there too calm her down. She had fun the last time they hung out as a trio so I am excited!
(I won’t be surprised if the broadcasting club scheming makes it so they end up not having this tour, but my disappointment will be immeasurable.)
Teru was amazing this chapter on his own too, look at this bastard. He got an ego.
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Not that I can blame him, any 17 year old would reach this conclusion when their class consistently worship him as a prince and made A WHOLE SUCCESSFUL VENUE?? WITH MERCHANDISE TOO?? HELP?? He is so chill about it “oh I was surprised when they suggested” BUT NO PROTESTS? Akane is right, he is a shameless guy.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fc2631b2be07f7619ff4d724bbd652d4/f5fda9279c9ed377-1c/s540x810/af5294e45c09195ca0024939b0b2fd0c39e3f41e.jpg)
(I wonder if Teru gets money out of it...? Since they are selling his image/’brand’. I hope he does. Can you imagine Teru telling his dad “oh yeah, half of my fortune comes from exorcism, half comes from my venue.” )
And hey, Tiara and kunishide are here! That’s nice, love to see them again! :D
You know who else is here? Sousuke’s mom! THE QUEEN IS HERE! LET HER THROUGH!!! I DID NOT EXPECT TO EVER SEE HER AGAIN, MY BELOVED!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fe5aa10206ebe4fa42e963b282f66527/f5fda9279c9ed377-e7/s540x810/a10f6b07bdc627613d60abd0472434f5cc11423e.jpg)
I’m interested in how Mitsuba will deal with a ‘mom’ he never had. He no longer seems obsessed with Sousuke, the manga itself treats Sousuke as a thing of the past (Kou even fully accepted his death in chapter 74) so her presence is BIG.
I wonder if the mom will be able to see Mitsuba, and bring more info on Sousuke, or explore both her and Mitsuba’s characters. Mitsuba does feel like he has no ‘family’ after all. And Sousuke’s mom, who lost her son and husband, also has no family, but unlike Mitsuba, she used to have. Add in Mitsuba’s relationship with his own identity and I am definitively intrigued by what her role in this arc will be.
The ending caught me off guard too, I thought the broadcasting club wanted to control time not destroy it, even if it does make sense, considering their end goal is every yorishiro's destruction.
And this part made me realize we never saw Natsuhiko bleed before, and it explains how he consistently gets out of dangerous or tricky situations that while not deadly for an immortal would have been very hard to escape if his power was merely 'durability'.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d35af826249b19d3ddd051010528bb2f/f5fda9279c9ed377-ca/s540x810/7f51305a15b81146bd0a1cc408ad74fabad0633c.jpg)
He can’t lose, even a supernatural’s ‘victory’ where he gets eaten will result in them being corroded from the inside out. Since Natsuhiko can’t die, blood loss isn’t a problem either, he is a neverending poison machine. Love that for him.
#tbhk#tbhk 104#jshk#jibaku shonen hanako kun#toilet bound hanako kun#honestly i am just happy we got some teru akane and aoi focus.
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Blorbo: Fat Tony (very underrated character on this blog)
{That he is. *summons him from the dead*}
[Don Marion Anthony D'Amico, better known as Fat Tony, is one of the best characters on the show and his lore is, for whatever reason, the most well-maintained in the show. Or it was till they fucking killed him off but then replaced him with his identical cousin then proceeded to treat him as if he was the real Tony. THAT'S BULLSHIT! This is the "Tale of Two Skinners" all over again. But I'll leave my venomous rant for the end. I want to gush over this sweet man first.
Unlike Sideshow Bob, the show brings in Fat Tony a lot but not too much so that he gets stale (his celebrity VA is expensive but he loves the character so much he is always happy to do episodes). Tony is a guy who had humble dreams and then one thing led to another, next thing he knew he was henching with the mob before doing so well he climbed the ranks to become the boss himself. While cliché as it is that tough guys can't show weakness, Tony was a good man when it came to his crew and his eventual family, which brought him respect...except from The Calebresis but they ain't a problem no more. A faithful husband, loving father, and caring boss, Tony held loyalty all around him. His only negatives were of course his business dealings. And while some are often silly (such as putting cotton balls on ferrets to pass off as toy poodles or selling rat milk to schools), others are very very bad. Like, wow I didn't notice this as a kid but holy shit kind of bad.
Some examples are the following...Illegal fireworks, bootleg merchandise, gambling, sabotage, illegal trafficking (tobacco & alcohol), organized crime, bribery, smuggling, extortion, money laundering, murder, prostitution, loansharking, kidnapping, counterfeiting, highway robbery, faulty construction, numbers, smuggling heroin, arson, and forging legal documentation such as birth certificates and passports.
Still, as bad as all that is, he hardly ever suffered from consciousness. But when he did, man, they hit hard. His wife dies "whacked by natural causes" (it's questionable but plausible). He gets shot to hell and put in a coma. And the worst one, the betrayal of someone he considered his best friend which is too much for his overworked heart...he dies of a heart attack and joins his wife with his grave beside hers. This would have been an ok send-off...But they fucked it up!
Fit Tony, then later Fit-Fat Tony, and now known as the New and Improved Fat Tony (<- big fucking lie!) pisses me off to no end 'cause while I like more Tony lore, I hate how he's portrayed while carrying Tony's name. (They literally named this guy Marion Anthony Paul D'Amico...WTF?!) This faker holds none of real Tony's charm.
OG Tony was monogamous and died a widower/single father.
FitFake Tony is married but is a bigamist, having no issue with having mistresses. (He's implied to have a daughter but that's in the noncanon comics)
OG Tony cared about his crew, he showed them respect, and he was held with such regards that none but the stupid would dare stand to him.
FitFake Tony sees the crew as tools, he comes across as really too soft and not all that intimidating, and the members of the crew have turned on him multiple times.
The real kicker is this guy lives in his dead cousin's home, now lives his life, and is raising his son. I can't imagine the mental shit Michael has to deal with as an 8-year-old in a mob family who had to go through his mom dying, then his dad also kicks the bucket, but suddenly a look-a-like is now in his home but acts completely different. My child needs some therapy.
I can only hope that in the new season, there's some fixing done. I want to still enjoy Tony, I really do. But please, stop dragging his name through the mud. They used him in a Jersey Shore parody for fuck's sake! *groans* Look how they massacred my boy.]
#to op#fat tony d'amico#fat tony#the simpsons#the Simpsons fat tony#springfield mafia#springfield mob#OP loving her blorbo
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Alter x Ego
BACK
CHAPTER SEVEN
FOWARD
In a place full of crystalize gem stories. Hiiro and you enter through a portal made by mikajima. The place is vast and full of colorful gem and crystal verses. "Look it's MMD au." Hiiro pointed out with his chained hand an au surrounded by doll that you two passes by.
"Ah. It looks pretty." There's lot of dolls surrounding the au, also a blue dragon circle around it. "I don't know there's a dragon in that au before." Hiiro seems to note the dragon one is not an icon he remembers that the au have before.
"Don't you remember that you dump that dragon into that world ?" "Huh. Who do you mean by dragon. I only help a cute fluffy soul of the au that seems lost— aww...." Mikajima once again boink the troublesome kid who just admitted his other crime.
"I heard from auntie from next door, being hit in the head will make someone lost a brain cell! So please don't hit hiiro anymore!" you cannot help but exclaim as mikajima have boink hiiro multiple times already. He might be in his last brain cell. "Oh. Don't worry about it. That guy is quite smart in the wrong way." The head of hiiro pointed out.
"It's not smart, it's working hard. And being wise." Hiiro corrected his senior.
"That's why your getting desk job." - mikajima.
"Aww... " Like a sad puppy hiiro felt down from hearing desk job again. "Look, look, there's a lot of core merchandise. Don't touch it. Sir mikajima said the owner of those is a crazy crazy person." Hiiro attention once again taken away by the next item he saw interesting. It was a corner full of certain fae collection. From poster, acrylic, standby, real size standby, body pillows, sand bag, etc. "yup, that person is indeed quite crazy one indeed." Mikajima laugh as he agreed in hiiro description.
Not a while later, you three come across pink candy like hair in the ground and mikajima follow where it is, hiiro whisper to you: " it's the lady partner of mikajima." Before he quite down as he have bad experience with that person who tried to shoot him down before.
"Yo." Mikajima greet the owner of the long hair that's seems to be talking to another tall guy who's blue and seems to be a butterfly hybrid since his hair look like butterfly wings. He seems to look like the boss of this place.
"Mikajima why did you bring that brat here..." The blue haired superior ask the other. "Well..." The other take a deep breath. "Code red, au and graveyard." He seems to be mysterious with his words. But the boss seems to understand it very well as he stared at hiiro but then realize your there too. "And this one?"
"I don't know." - mikajima shrugged his shoulder. Hiiro doesn't tell him where the heck you come from yet. The boss give you a up and down look before giving a nasty look at the lady beside him.
"Did your delinquent spouse made another troublesome being again? How many times is it now? Can you believe that your spouse have many "children " and non of them is yours. Laughable." He seems quite annoyed and instead of blaming hiiro his launching out his annoyance at the lady beside him.
"Omae can create anything they want or steal any babies to adopt!! I don't care What you say old man!!" The voice of the so called lady made you realize she's not a female. But a male. The voice seems similar to one of those pinkie. His probably another sibling of them. "You little!!" The boss is quite mad when the other give him a middle finger at his nagging.
"Anyway, go to your workplace. You already know where it is. Your stuck here for a couple of weeks." Mikajima block the view of the two fighting in the background but you did noted you see a gun being pulled out from nowhere by the pinkie.
"Okii!!" hiiro nodded his head and went to look at you. "Let's go. It's over here." He guide you to the desk job he have to deal with.
Technically it's just him answering the coordinates of the au he found and out specific dimensions it's between— basically it's all numbers, it made your head almost exploded.
#ensemble stars x reader#ensemble stars#enstar x reader#crystalize multiverse#pink kkomas#ensemble stars hiiro amagi#hiiro x reader#hiiro amagi x reader
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Dont you find it hilarious (sad, depressing hilarious, not haha funny hilarious) that Vivs endgame was Stolitz, that was the ship the made front and center, but as soon as the show started, it just didn't really work, expecally with the concept of "Higher class demon holds something over lower class demons head that prevents him for doing his job, and they only way he lets him have it is by trading sexual favors."
But then, within one episode, we meet another character that instantly has more chemistry with the main character. Their interactions are amazing, their personalities match, they're on the same social class, and their relationships even fit the supposed theme of "Eat the rich." That Viv is going for.
But instead of exploring this or relooking at how she can improve the cannon relationship or even just adding a bit more shipping fuel for the fans, what does she do?
She buckles down harder on the current cannon ship as it is. She destroys her own character to make him so comically bad that everything that was previously appealing about him is gone. She pushes for her Canon ship to happen even harder and, in turn, only makes it worse. She turns the one half of the ship into a sniveling OWO soft boy who can do nothing wrong despite holding his supposed love intrests job over his head, and she makes the lower class character the bad guy for not wanting to be with him because he's treated as a glorified fuck toy and feels trapped within their relationship. She makes merchandise of the two in which on character looks terrified and uncomfortable when the other is around.
I'm not saying BlitzStrike should have been made cannon. I'm saying, why didn't Viv take what was good about BlitzStrike and put it into Stolitz. She didn't have to ruin Striker. She didn't have to Blitz the one in the wrong with the relationship. She didn't have to make Stolas innocent of everything and have him never change his views. But she did. Because she couldn't bare the thought that what she thought was an amazing ship might be flawed in a really bad way, and that there was another ship that had better interactions from the beginning. I don't think BlitzStrike is directly in charge of how Stolitz is now, but I defiently think it had a hand in it.
And that's why, regardless if what Viv does to Striker, BlitzStrike will ALWAYS be my favorite Helluva Boss ship
Yours and mine both, Anon. Vivzie can turn Striker into a Team Rocket character with visible stink lines all she wants, but nothing will take back that disgusting full moon deal scene, and nothing will take back the way Striker made Blitzo smile in a way Stolas has still never made him smile as of this writing. Blitzo found his damn soul mate at that festival and it sure as Hell wasn't the guy Blitzo imagines pulling him in on the end of a golden chain.
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I haven't experienced this, so I can't understand it from your perspective. But, when I was younger I would just lie in hopes people would talk to me. Or when looking for girls on tumblr.
A lot of things you talked about in that post resonate with that part of my past.
I wouldn't put it past younger desperate guys trying to imitate older guys, trying to be something they aren't.
This is just something that came up to me while I read your post.
(NOTE: this Ask continues from here) Well, my text is about a type of user with common traits (imitating each other or not, I don't know) among which is presenting themselves as a master or Dom in BDSM and I give them a nickname for their insistence on putting Mine in photos, which not all of them did, but it was important to make clear that I was not writing about or against middle-aged men who were BDSM.
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Judging by their behavior, they did not seem to be BDSM or experienced in it (or in dealing with women in general) that already tells us that they lie (most likely) about two things, if they do it about three it would not be surprising. However, a teenager who pretended to be an adult I don't think would choose to pretend to be forty or older because it is seen as an age at which one loses oneself.
A kid who doesn't even know how to approach a stranger in a DM seems to me to be oblivious to the advantages or attractions that those ages usually have for women if they get along well: economic stability, lack of interest in forming a family, mental clarity, mental stability, knowing how to be emotional support for unstable young people… A kid usually thinks that at forty they will be old and bad merchandise. And he could do the same thing that he tries to say he is thirty instead of forty. Besides, there are similar profiles that still follow me and have never done anything bad to me, from forty, fifty and I remember at least two in their sixties. I can't imagine anyone pretending to be that age to be attractive, and I think that at any age you can be inexperienced, desperate, a vandal or a fan of 50 Shades of Grey who thinks he knows everything. His real age or profile being like that counts in my analysis as much as if I had data on hair color or body weight. Being an idiot is transversal, you can be one regardless of any condition and as for lying, they already lied about other things like being experienced bDSM, for sure.
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We have some bad news, guys...
Recently, on its way to our merchandise warehouse, our merchandise truck filled with WME-branded shirts, plushies, and vinyl figures was destroyed by Nintendo. Apparently, they are sending us some sort of (imagine me doing really exagerrated airquotes here) “Cease” and “desist” order for “unauthorized” “use” of “their” “characters”? Bummer! Luckily, we at WME Ingorporated saw this is a perfect opportunity to refresh our brand image, so we prepared a little something in advance...
Meet the new face of Weird Mario Enemies, Rolly S.!
Our original, [[[Legally distinct!!!!!]]] mascot represents all the ideals of the WME brand, as well as being twice as merchandisabl- um, I mean, even swaggier than before! Before? Compared to what, you ask? Well, nothing, of course. Rolly S. is one of a kind!
As you’ve all come to expect, we will be putting Rolly S. merch into production as soon as possible. Coincidentally, we already did it before this announcement! Cool! Order one now and receive it as a suspicious unmarked package in 6-8 weeks!
Wondering about the rest of WME’s iconic cast? As it turns out, after years of wishing, Chester Chomper has finally become a real girl! And a kawaii anime schoolgirl, no less! Talk about a “waifu for laifu”! And just look at her face as she stands next to Rolly! Ooh la la! Could this be love?
Of course, being a mascot these days is about so much more than just T-shirts! It means entertaining masses of children on the internet for hours on end! Which is why we’ve trapped Rolly in the Gamer Room and forced him to stream an endless amount of mascot horror games. For every new subscriber he gains, we inject him with a small dose of brain chemicals that numb the searing pain. But he has yet to see a single viewer, so go over and show him your support!
Huh? Excuse me for a second, I’m getting a phone call.
Hm. Uhuh. Yeah. Hmmm. Mmhmm... Yeah. Okay.
Right. So I’ve just received the news that Rolly S. is dead.
I know! This has happened to every single mascot we’ve signed a deal with! It must be some weird streak of bad luck or something. But that was fast! It’s got to be a new record! Oh well. I guess this post is in memory of Rolly S. or something now. Honestly who cares. I didn’t really like him anyway.
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John Egbert, Jade Harley, Jaspersprite
Act 6, page 5283-5307
JOHN: jade...
JADE: hm?
JOHN: i think i just realized something.
JADE: what?
JOHN: THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS!!!
JADE: whaaat
JADE: but you love this movie!
JOHN: yeah, i know.
JOHN: i mean... i thought i did.
JOHN: it's been kind of a long time since i last saw it. i really remember it being a lot better than this!
JOHN: but now everything just seems so cheesy and stupid.
JADE: but you were making such a big deal about finally getting me to watch it with you on your birthday!
JADE: you were going on and on about how i wouldnt be disappointed... but now youre saying you dont like it?
JOHN: i don't know. i'm trying to like it. i WANT to like it.
JOHN: i want to feel the same magic that was there all the other times i watched it.
JOHN: but i can't, because...
JOHN: it's just...
JOHN: not...
JOHN: good. :(
JADE: really?
JADE: i was actually kind of enjoying it!
JADE: its very silly
JADE: i really dont think its the kind of movie youre supposed to take all that seriously john
JOHN: but i DID take it seriously!!!
JOHN: i guess maybe that's kind of the point.
JOHN: i always thought all this hokey bullshit was legitimately awesome and compelling.
JOHN: what was i even thinking!
JADE: i dunno....
JADE: but people can change their minds about things
JADE: i think youre allowed to change your mind about a silly movie
JADE: i used to LOVE the squiddles show when i was really young
JADE: but as i got older i started to realize it wasnt as great as i thought it was
JADE: i was just too young to see how it was actually a flagrant vehicle for selling merchandise
JADE: and if you believed the conspiracy theorists it might have even been pushing some other dark hidden agendas.....
JADE: so i stopped liking the show itself as much but that didnt change the fact that i had a lot of fond memories about it
JADE: i still loved all the cute characters and could enjoy it on a nostalgic level
JOHN: well, maybe later i'll be able to rekindle some nostalgic feelings about it.
JOHN: but right now, i just feel like a dope for talking this up so hard.
JADE: what is even the problem with it?
JADE: ive just been watching this and thinking, yup, i can see why john was so obsessed with this movie...
JADE: its funny!
JOHN: it's just non stop terrible action movie cliches!
JOHN: look.
JOHN: i love nic cage. he is basically my hero, ok?
JOHN: but i'm kind of just realizing now that he is EMBARRASSINGLY BAD in this movie!
JOHN: he is just doing this corny parody of a southern guy who is down on his luck, and acts "charming" with his goofy accent and stuff.
JOHN: some things i used to think were so badass are just coming off as ridiculous now.
JOHN: can you believe that one time we were watching this movie, when he said "put the bunny back in the box" i actually high fived my dad?
JOHN: this time that line just made me roll my eyes.
JOHN: there's so much crappy dialogue!
JOHN: "cyrus, this is your barbecue, and it tastes good..." arrgh!
JADE: but he was trying to sound like a hardened criminal to win the trust of john malkovich!
JOHN: jade, please. it was a cheesy line, don't be so naive.
JADE: what!!
JADE: you spent your whole life worshiping this dumb movie and now youre calling ME naive????
JOHN: ok, i'm sorry. i guess in fairness to you, you have only just begun to climb the steep learning curve of this vexing and hypnotic film.
JOHN: but i am no longer bound by its spell, jade.
JADE: oh god
JADE: vexing and hypnotic??
JADE: its a movie full of explosions about a guy with a mullet
JADE: what is with you lately? you seem to be in such a crappy mood these days
JOHN: i am fine. this MOVIE is what's crappy these days.
JADE: oh bluh bluh
JADE: can we just finish the rest of the movie?
JADE: look you made us miss a whole bunch of stuff!
JADE: hang on im going to rewind it...
JOHN: who even cares what we missed.
JOHN: just cameron stupid poe in his idiot wife beater babbling some more southern home spun heroic nonsense.
JOHN: heart of gold my ass!!!!!
JOHN: everything dave ever said about this movie was right! i can't believe i used to think he was just trolling me.
JOHN: the stupid junkyard scene where cyrus makes a little model out of rocks and stuff, just so he could tell the criminals to surround some army guys and shoot them... that was pointless!
JOHN: and all this heavy handed scoring. oh my god. the music makes every little thing into such a federal issue!
JOHN: like... oh man, SOME MINOR CHARACTERS BEING INTRODUCED IN SLOW MOTION! dun-dun dun-dun DUN DUN DUN!!!
JOHN: there. now you officially know they are all badasses.
JOHN: also, i somehow didn't even remember dave chappelle being in this movie. he was pointless too.
JADE: whos dave chappelle?
JOHN: and you know the malloy guy, the dick head cop who we're supposed to hate, because of how he gives john cusack a hard time and makes asshole decisions with a helicopter?
JOHN: well screw that! he wasn't so bad. so what if he was a little grumpy? he was just trying to do his job. he had one of the best lines in the movie actually, which was another thing we were supposed to hate him for.
JOHN: what was it? about how cusack was probably out saving a tree and recycling his sandals or some shit? HAHAHA! now that i think about it, i fucking LOVE malloy.
JOHN: i'm going to rewind it to watch that scene again...
JADE: no!!!
JADE: dont touch the remote
JOHN: oh, and we're supposed to be like "YEAH" when cusack wrecks malloy's awesome sports car.
JOHN: but that was a nice car! john cusack shouldn't have ruined it like that for laughs.
JOHN: i know *I* wasn't laughing, were you?
JADE: YES :p
JOHN: john cusack was such a terrible character in this movie now that i think about it. i don't really get what he added to it?
JOHN: he was like the second hero... but dorkier? what did he even really do? he scampered around the junkyard for a while goofing off, and then when it was his time to shine...
JOHN: HE DEMONSTRATED HIS MASTERY OVER HEAVY MACHINERY! wow, he can operate a crane! i am thrilled by the exploits of this pedantic weenie.
JOHN: i guess he's actually like cage's estranged sidekick? almost like the robin that batman never realized he had.
JOHN: now that i think about it, this movie was always an oddly poignant tale of bromance between cage and cusack. just two bros separated by destiny, waiting to be united.
JOHN: when they finally come together to kick some ass, it is arguably more moving than when he reunites with his wife and daughter!
JOHN: i wonder if i'll think that scene sucks now too? it used to move me to tears, but now i'll probably think it's so lame, i'm almost afraid to watch it. maybe i should try to leave at least SOME memories untainted.
JADE: john you are kind of sounding like a crazy person here
JOHN: yeah right! crazy like a fOWWW!
JADE: what???
JOHN: oh...
JOHN: i guess there was a stray feather clinging to my pajamas and it just poked me in the ass.
JOHN: god damn dave sprite.
JOHN: that guy molts like it's going out of style.
JADE: oh...
JADE: heh
JADE: yeah
JOHN: where is he anyway?
JOHN: i specifically told dave sprite several times when my party would start, because i knew he would do this.
JOHN: he's already missed half the movie!
JADE: why do you always call him dave sprite?
JOHN: um... because that's his name?
JOHN: dave sprite.
JADE: no, i mean why do you always say it like that? with the space between words?
JADE: its not dave sprite, its just davesprite
JOHN: what ever.
JOHN: i can't believe he's standing me up on my birthday.
JOHN: maybe he doesn't want to hang out with jaspers?
JOHN: jaspers, i hope you're not going to start chasing him around again when he gets here.
JASPERSPRITE: Hisssss!
JOHN: dude, shut up.
JADE: yeah.... john
JADE: i dont think davesprite is coming tonight
JOHN: aw, man. really?
JOHN: i knew we shouldn't have invited both him and jaspers.
JOHN: that's just party planning BASICS.
JADE: no...
JADE: it has nothing to do with jaspers
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: then why?
JADE: he uh...
JADE: kind of broke up with me
JOHN: what!!!
JOHN: when did that happen?
JADE: a couple days ago
JOHN: no. no way.
JOHN: i cannot accept this!
JADE: john its ok you dont have t...
JOHN: you and dave sprite were like the glue holding everything together on this miserable road trip!
JADE: we were?
JOHN: yes, jade.
JOHN: you were our rock.
JADE: your rock??
JADE: what are you talking about?
JOHN: come on, jade.
JOHN: you and dave sprite were like... an INSTITUTION on this stupid golden battleship.
JADE: we were not an institution!
JADE: you are just saying meaningless things now
JOHN: why did he break up with you?!
JADE: um...
JADE: its complicated
JADE: basically hes just going through a lot of stuff right now
JOHN: stuff??
JOHN: what stuff.
JOHN: jade, we are all going through stuff. you don't see me flying off the handle and breaking up with MY girlfriend.
JADE: do uh...
JADE: you have a girlfriend?
JOHN: that is not the point.
JOHN: the point is that dave sprite is a douche.
JADE: i dont think hes a douche, hes just...
JOHN: no, he's an orange feathery douche.
JOHN: why is he such a basket case? he's like regular dave, but like, aloof enigma edition.
JOHN: maybe it's because he's part bird? i think becoming a bird and a sprite did something weird to him.
JADE: i dont think being a bird ever bothered him
JADE: like i said... its all more complicated than that
JOHN: normal dave was so much more level headed.
JOHN: i have to admit, i spend a lot of time wondering what he and rose are up to.
JADE: me too
JOHN: ehh...
JOHN: maybe it's for the best he broke up with you.
JADE: why?
JOHN: well, what kind of future do you think you would have with him?
JOHN: he's a sprite. like really, what even is a sprite? how long do they live? will he still be around if we win the new game we are allegedly trying to get to?
JADE: i dont know
JOHN: there are a lot of things we don't know.
JOHN: and also...
JOHN: how do things even work if you marry a sprite?
JADE: what do you mean
JOHN: i mean...
JOHN: ok, he has a ghost butt, for one thing.
JADE: uh
JADE: so
JOHN: a GHOST BUTT, jade!
JADE: SO WHAT IF HE HAS A GHOST BUTT!!!!!
JOHN: i'm just saying...
JADE: WHATEVER YOURE JUST SAYING, JUST STOP SAYING IT!
JADE: and whatever youre trying to gesture with your hands there, stop doing that too!
JOHN: what? no, i was just...
JADE: nope!!! totally not talking about this
JOHN: but
JADE: put your hands down john
JOHN: ok, fine.
JADE: thats not down, thats up!
JADE: oh well, at least youre not making those unsettling gestures...
JADE: john...
JADE: what are you doing?
JOHN: nothing!
JADE: i hope youre not entertaining some awkward train of thought about, uh...
JOHN: no!!!
JADE: what is with you??
JADE: today is your birthday, youre supposed to be having fun!
JADE: but youve been so testy, as if youre committed to not having a good time
JOHN: well, maybe i'm just getting a little tired of being stuck on this lame boat!
JOHN: don't you think it's gotten kind of old?
JADE: yeah, i can see how you might find it a little slow here
JADE: i dunno, i havent minded much... maybe its different for me though because i used to live all alone?
JOHN: oh sure, i'm sure it's GREAT for you. you get to spend your days smooching and breaking up with dave sprite and what not, and you can shrink down to any old planet you feel like, any time. whereas i have to make this whole big deal of ASKING you to shrink or unshrink me, and...
JADE: but i dont mind doing that any time!!!
JOHN: i know, but you think i want to bug you about that at the drop of a hat? when you're busy and on dates and stuff? i just happen to have respect for something called PERSONAL BOUNDARIES, jade.
JOHN: and it's not like there's really anyone else to talk to, except the inscrutable chess people and a bunch of brainless consorts and an idiot cat princess. oh and also nanna, but i mean, she's my grandmother, and she's great, but a guy can only spend so much quality time with his grandmother before he starts to feel like kind of a loser whose friends are too busy to spend time with him!
JADE: john... if you told me this earlier i would have...
JOHN: and i still never visit any interesting dream bubbles, and we can't even finish our cool planet quests because the moment we broke through the window all our denizens decided to go back to sleep, and...
JOHN: i guess what i'm saying is, i'm MORE than ready to get to the other window and meet our friends and other new people and stuff.
JOHN: are you sure you can't make the ship go faster???
JADE: were already going as fast as i can make us go
JOHN: and how fast is that again?
JADE: about the speed of light!
JOHN: well, can't you use your space powers and bump it up a notch?
JADE: no! nothing can go faster than light john
JADE: unless you teleport of course
JOHN: and why can't you teleport us again?
JADE: i already explained this! i cant do that here, its not within the domain of the green sun which gives me those powers!
JOHN: is that why we can't go faster than light either?
JADE: no thats just a regular law of physics!!! jeez
JOHN: ok, i mean, i know that. but this isn't really a regular place, right?
JOHN: isn't the speed of light like a thousand miles a second? so what does that really mean here? are miles and seconds the same here as on earth? how does this nonsense dimension we're racing through jive with all the relativity mumbo jumbo?
JADE: ok first of all, thats not even close to the speed of light
JADE: light travels at a hundred and eighty six thousand miles per second no matter what frame of reference youre in... even this one!
JADE: second of all special relativity and comparing laws of physics between different frames of reference, those are tricky issues to talk about!
JADE: but id be more than happy to talk about them if youd like. actually i would enjoy that because i never really get to talk about science wi...
JOHN: no, i don't want to talk about physics! i don't know anything about the laws of physics, because they are hard and boring.
JOHN: i simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! is that really asking too much?
JADE: yes as a matter of fact it is!
JOHN: well, guess what? SCIENCE IS STUPID BULLSHIT!!!
JADE: you take that back!!!!!
JOHN: no.
JOHN: magic is awesome.
JOHN: science blows.
JOHN: the end.
JADE: john.....
JADE: what is that?
JOHN: what?
JADE: under your hood...
JADE: looks like a piece of paper stuck to your back?
JOHN: huh?
JOHN: oh god dammit.
JOHN: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!
JOHN: THAT BASTARD!!!
JADE: what?
JOHN: THIS IS TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS.
JADE: what is it??
JOHN: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.
JOHN: IT IS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW!!!
JOHN: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!
JADE: where are you going?
JOHN: I'M GOING TO GO KICK HIS ASS!
JADE: what! john, no...
JOHN: POSING AS MY DEAD FATHER BY MIMICKING ONE OF HIS GREAT FATHERLY NOTES HE USED TO HIDE AROUND THE HOUSE???
JOHN: AND ON THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY HE WAS SLAIN BY JACK NOIR, A *FACT* OF WHICH THAT CHEEKY ORANGE ASSHOLE IS PLAINLY AWARE??????
JOHN: THIS IS A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR DAVE SPRITE!
JADE: ok yes, that practical joke is in poor taste, but you should try to calm down and...
JOHN: NO, SCREW THAT, I AM SUPER PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS!
JOHN: THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS, AND THAT IS WITH AN OLD FASHIONED BEATDOWN.
JOHN: WHERE'S MY HAMMER!!!!!
JADE: um
JADE: which one?
JOHN: ANY OLD HAMMER!
JOHN: WHATEVER. IT COULD BE A HAMMER FROM THE BARGAIN BIN OF A HARDWARE STORE FOR ALL I CARE.
JOHN: JUST GIVE ME ANYTHING THAT'S FIT FOR CLOBBERING A GHOST BOTTOMED DICK FACE WHO'S ALSO A BIRD.
JADE: sigh
JOHN: I'M COMING FOR YOU, DAVE SPRITE!
JOHN: DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU MAGICAL SON OF A BITCH? I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!
JOHN: THAT STUNT WASN'T COOL! *YOU'RE* NOT COOL!
JOHN: LIKE IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH YOU DUMPED JADE FOR NO REASON. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!
JOHN: YOU AND JADE WERE OUR ROCK ON THIS SHIP! YOU HEAR ME?? OUR ROOOOOOOOCK!!!
JADE: :|
JOHN: AND NOW *THIS* BULLSHIT??? WHAT THE HELL, MAN.
JOHN: I DON'T GO AROUND LEAVING FAKE PUZZLES FOR YOU LIKE FROM THE MOVIE SAW, DO I? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ME SAY I WANT TO PLAY A GAME EVEN *ONCE*?? WELL, HAVE YOU????
JOHN: NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD STIR UP PAINFUL MEMORIES OF A DEARLY DEPARTED LOVED ONE, AND THEREFORE WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLY SHITTY OF ME!!!!!!!!
JOHN: HEY! I SEE YOU THERE!
JOHN: GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW, WISE GUY!
JOHN: OH NO, DON'T PLAY DUMB. I CAN SEE YOU PLAIN AS DAY. I'M ON TO YOU, BUDDY.
JOHN: STOP VAGUELY WATERMARKING THE SKY WITH YOUR SMUG DOUCHEY FACE THIS INSTANT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!!!
JOHN: YEAH SURE, LAUGH IT UP! THAT MAKES YOU SEEM LIKE WAY LESS OF A TOOL. NICE GOING BRO!
JOHN: EVERYONE ON THIS BOAT IS SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT! WHY DON'T YOU JUST FLY AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE?
JOHN: HOW CAN YOU BE SO MUCH MORE OF A PRICK THAN THE REAL DAVE? YOU ARE THE MOST PISS POOR SUBSTITUTE FOR A BEST FRIEND A GUY EVER HAD.
JOHN: I CAN'T *WAIT* TO MEET UP WITH THE REAL DAVE AGAIN. THAT WAY WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO THE AWESOME STATUS QUO OF PRETENDING YOU NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!
JADE: john...
JADE: theres no one there
JOHN: oh he's THERE alright.
JOHN: he's probably just using some sprite magic so only i can see him.
JOHN: don't you see, jade? he's antagonizing ME PERSONALLY, not you. he's done with you, remember?
JOHN: he already used you like a rented mule, and now he is moving on to greener pastures.
JADE: what pastures
JOHN: it's me.
JOHN: I'M the pastures.
JOHN: and now his mule is grazing all over them, while he has a good laugh.
JADE: what
JADE: wasnt i supposed to be the mule?
JADE: i dont think i understand your analogy
JOHN: no, you see, it's...
JOHN: the mule represented, like...
JOHN: i don't know, like the spirit animal of his douchey ways. or something.
JADE: ....
JOHN: augh, WHO CAAARES.
JOHN: who cares about mules, or pastures, or dave sprite's stupid ephemeral sky visage.
JOHN: who cares about anything!!!
JOHN: who cares about my birthday, or nic cage, or this boat full of idiots.
JOHN: JUST.
JOHN: WHO.
JOHN: CARES.
JADE: john i think youre officially throwing a tantrum here
JADE: ...
JADE: john?
JADE: john...
JADE: are you asleep?
JADE: please dont tell me you just fell asleep in your driveway
#homestuck#john egbert#jade harley#jaspersprite#homestuck act 6#page 5283#page 5284#page 5285#page 5386#page 5287#page 5288#page 5289#page 5290#page 5291#page 5292#page 5293#page 5294#page 5295#page 5296#page 5297#page 5298#page 5299#page 5300#page 5301#page 5302#page 5303#page 5304#page 5305#page 5306#page 5307
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HSLOT PHILLY
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-
Harry is predictable.
He falls into the same patterns during every tour since he was on the Up All Night with One Direction.
The excitement that comes with the first couple of shows begins to fade as he starts his world wide tour that doesn’t end for nearly eight months.
His constant adrenaline wears off and his exhaustion from not having toured in two years settles deep in his bones.
YN senses it from a mile away, has nearly eleven years experience dealing with her jet-lagged, exhausted, and stubborn husband.
It hits the day of the Philadelphia show, they got in late the night before, and YN always set her alarm for seven thirty in the morning to workout.
Ninety-five percent of the time, Harry got up with her and they either did a jog around the new city or they took advantage of the in-hotel gym.
Four percent of the time, he would whine and tug the comforter over his head, whimpering, “M’too tired, baby. Stay in bed w’me.”
And then the one percent, which was today.
The alarm emits a low, constant beep that rouses YN, in the time she takes to rub her eye and come back into reality - Harry hisses with a sharp edge, “Turn tha’ fuckin’ thing off.”
She bites her tongue at his tone, reaching to turn it off but she can already tell what day they’re going to have.
YN slips out from under the covers and automatically gets a comment from her husband, it another whiney demand, “Cover m’feet, y’too the blanket off them.”
“Yes, your majesty,” YN replies reproachfully, rearranging the blankets before quietly moving around the room to change.
“Stop makin’ so much noise.”
“Turn off tha’ light.”
“S’too early f’this, d’you not care that m’tired?”
She chooses to ignore the remarks, hoping that he can sleep off the attitude.
When YN is about to leave, he grumbles, “Y’need to kiss me goodbye.”
Harry purses his lips for a soft kiss, not moving a muscle, and after that - she leaves to head down to the gym.
YN is required a body guard, definitely when she isn’t with Harry or a group of people, and she decided not to follow those rules today.
She had her TPWK water bottle in hand, a cute workout set on ***, and her AirPods tucked in her ear with some Spice Girls playing.
It’s only about twenty minutes into her exercise, a light jog on the treadmill, that a young girl slips up beside the machine.
YN is kind, stopping the belt to smile for a selfie before the girl scampers off and she resumes her run - music blasting.
However, what YN didn’t know, is that fans had found out early in the morning which hotel they where at and a hoard was rushing towards the small gym.
It’s not even ten minutes later when a swarm of fans in rushing into the work area, lining up around her machine with their phones flashing and recording.
She tries to be nice, “Hey! Uh, I’m just trying to workout. I’m sorry, but no pictures please.”
Then there is loud protest and people shoving each other, begging and pleading for a selfie or for her to sign something - all because she was Harry’s wife.
There is literally no exit to escape to, so she relents and anxiously calls Frank - one of the body guards - to come retrieve her.
-
The whole way back up to her hotel room, Frank is lecturing her about safety and how she could have gotten hurt.
And when he scans the keycard for her hotel room, she feels her stomach drop because Harry is sat against the kitchen counter.
His brown locks are rumpled and going every which way, just in his briefs that are low on his narrow hips, and absolutely irate expression on his face.
“Are y’fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Harry snaps, brow furrowed and jaw clenched - his arms were crossed tightly against his chest.
“Good morning to you, sunshine,” YN mutters, shutting the door and kicking off her tennis shoes to the side.
“Don’t,” Harry replies sourly, “Please explain t’me why I get woken up by Frank to be told y’getting mobbed in the gym? And y’didn’t to call him.”
YN bristles at his tone, giving him a pointed look as she steps further into the room, “It’s not a big deal. I just wasn’t thinking.”
“Y’right about that, y’weren’t thinkin’. It is a big deal, y’could have gotten hurt - shouldn’t have t’babysit m’own wife,” Harry huffs, stomping back over to the bed and sliding back under the covers.
“You better watch your tone-“
They’re interrupted with a knock to their door, Harry throws the covers over his head and leaves YN to open the door.
It’s Jeff, who barges in with a coffee in one hand, “Come on, H. Did you forget? You have soundcheck early today and then you have to meet with FullStop to review the details of that new merchandise contract.”
“No, move it,” The popstar groans, muffled from the heavy blankets over him, and his manager and wife give each other a knowing look.
“We can’t. Get up, we need to leave in fifteen,” Jeff replies casually, unbothered as he sips from his to-go mug.
It has Harry dramatically ripping off the covers and getting out of bed, as he charges off towards the bathroom, he shouts backwards, “Wish someone would have fuckin’ told me! Like m’manager or m’wife!”
“Oh my god, here we go,” YN groans quietly to Jeff, snatching up the few things she needs for the venue as well as Harry’s and shoving them in his duffle.
He comes out a few moments later, dressed in running shorts and a vintage Queen shirt - going to tug on his Nikes without a word to either.
But in true Harry fashion, even when he’s mad, he’s still a gentleman. He slips the duffle off his wife’s shoulder so she doesn’t have to carry it.
“Thank you,” She murmurs but he avoids eye contact, being the first to open the hotel room and trudge towards the awaiting car.
It’s a quiet ride, Harry looks out the window with a deep frown and puffy eyes - eyes heavy from the lack of sleep.
Usually, he’d be curled into YN - snuggling as close as possible and asking for her to pet his hair to soothe him.
Not today. But he does have his hand on her thigh.
There’s already fans at the arena and Harry doesn’t acknowledge them - keeps his head down and walks quickly into the private entrance past the barricades.
When a irritated fan screams, “Asshole! We waited all night here for you!”
YN watches as Harry goes to turn, to say something but she pushes him forward through the door to prevent him from doing something he’d regret when wasn’t in a foul mood.
They manage through the long hallways, filled with bustling tour crew, and everybody there to make the show happen.
Sound check isn’t as fun as it usually is, the band stays low-key when Harry does exactly what he needs to do and nothing more.
And after the merch meeting, Harry has reached his limit apparently.
He was so tired, so fucking moody that he couldn’t deal with anymore human interaction.
YN has to step in when she gets a text from Harry Lambert.
Come get your husband. Sarah’s Kitchen.
She sighs, excusing herself from hanging out with Jeff and Glenne - she can hear him from the hallway and now she’s finally get irritated.
“I asked for that specific brand. It’s literally one of the only things I’ve asked for on this tour.”
YN takes a deep breathe before stepping in, there are crew trying not to stare as Harry complains to Sarah about something unimportant.
“Harry,” She says flatly, “Come on.”
He snatches his water bottle and follows his wife out without another word, trailing behind until they end up in his dressing room.
“You need to stop. You’re being a literal nightmare today,” YN tells him, watching him as he digs in the duffle.
“Where is m’charger? Did y’not pack it?” He ignores her words.
“I must have forgot. Harry, I know you’re tired but you can’t be treating everyone like-“
Harry pushes back the bag, seething for no reason, “I’ll treat people however the fuck I want!”
“You’re acting like a spoiled popstar right now,” YN replies, attempting to stay level-headed and calm with him.
“S’my show! M’tour!”
“Yes and everyone is here to support you and you’re treating them like shit. Including me, I’m your wife - the one person in the world that’s here for you no matter what and you’re being downright mean.”
“Y’so fuckin’ sensitive,” Harry mutters angrily, digging around to try to find a charger in a different bag.
And…that stung a bit.
When he doesn’t get a response, he looks up and notices how her demeanor had changed - it brings him back to reality for a little bit.
“I’m not going to stay here and be talked to like that because you don’t feel good. I’ll leave you alone because you are being insufferable.”
“Bab-“
YN is already out the door, storming back to Sarah’s kitchen to apologize for her husband’s diva behavior and everyone shrugs her off - knowing it’s not her fault.
She is sat down with the band and a few others when her husband saunters in, he doesn’t look at anyone else as he walks up to his wife.
“Baby, can I talk to you?” He mumbles, his warm hand coming to cup her shoulder.
“Harry,” YN says back, they’ve been together for so long that those words are all she needs to say for him to formulate a response.
“Come nap w’me please, need you. I’ll apologize t’you,” Harry says, his palm encompassing and big on her.
“Harry,” She repeats.
The crew looks on in amusement as Harry huffs, he lifts his head and speaks loudly to the room at once, “I apologize for my behavior. I have no excuse for getting upset like I have been today. I hope you guys can forgive me.”
Everyone assures him that they forgive him, most of them have dealt with actual spoiled celebrities and Harry was just having a bad day (which still really wasn’t that bad.)
“Okay, come on, bunny,” YN agrees, satisfied and can’t help but smile a bit when she stands up and Harry automatically intertwines their fingers to hold her hand.
The sofa in his dressing room folds out to be a bed and they still had hours before the show.
Once they’ve locked the doo and settled down on the mattress - they’re both laying on their sides, facing each other.
“M’sorry, darlin’,” Harry whispers, “I haven’t been very nice t’you today. I was just upset about the gym thing and just being so tired.”
YN hums, combing throwing his fluffy curls with her fingers as his hands explore over her hips and belly like always.
“You always get like this every once in a while on tour, like a little spoiled popstar,” YN says softly, no sharpness in her tone, “You also need to be nice to your wife.”
“M’always nice t’my wife,” He mumbles childishly, leaning forward to nip at her chin, “I am sorry, know tha’ when I act like that it embarrasses you.”
“You’re better than acting like that,” YN reminds him, allowing him to tug her into his warm, now bare chest, “I’m never gonna let you turn into some fame monster. You’re gonna stay the kind, funny, compassionate person I met when I was young.”
And when YN doesn’t get a reply, she glances to see Harry’s eyes shut, mouth slightly parted as he breathes rhythmically and his entire face relaxes as he sleeps.
“Still my boy,” YN murmurs lovingly, nuzzling before letting sleep overtake her.
-
#hslot!harry#hslotrry#harry styles#harry styles writing#harry styles masterlist#harry styles fic rec#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you#harry styles fluff#harry styles x y/n#Harry styles angst#husband!harry#harry styles huband#erodsafishtacos masterlist#file#Harry styles au#update#harry styles imagine#harry styles writing request#harry styles angst
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Hello! I saw request were open so i was wondering if i could request some headcanons of the Archons and/or the Adepti meeting a God reader who is the God of Chaos and destruction. The reader is not a Archon tho and travels all over Teyvat cuz small bits of destruction were ever they go. They're pretty mischievous and somewhat smug but despite how they act they're actually a good person. They dont mean to cause problems(most of the time anyways) chaos follows them were ever they go. Idk if you have a character limit but if you do please tell me so i wont make a mistake again. And if there is you can just do Zhongli and Xiao. Optionally could you make them a dendro user, there not a lot of dendro content and if not thats fine. I understand. Could you make the reader Gn or Non-binary they/them pronouns please? If not male reader is totally fine. Im so sorry for the long post and I hope you have a good day/night!
Ohmy, it’s my first time just writing headcanons! I’m use to write a lot, so let’s hope I did it right (^ ^' )7
Thanks for the request! ✨
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[HC] God of Chaos! Reader and the Archons + Xiao
Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Venti, Shogun Raiden (Ei).
Gn! Reader
I tried doing it with everyone but I’m no still that confident to try writing with some characters _| ̄|○
Sorry for any mistakes!
Request are open!
Genshin Masterlist
Second part ->
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VENTI
To be honest, he didn't notice your presence at first. He had other concerns on his mind that day to perceive the chaotic (and slightly threatening) aura that Mondstadt was infected with that day.
Barbatos is a person of habit, so he couldn't help but be curious when the crowd in front of him began to look a little agitated instead of seeming to enjoy his lyre and his songs.
But then a series of domino events appeared in front of his very eyes.
The purity of the chaos was such that he felt overwhelmed, even without the white-haired boy around, if it wasn’t Bennett fault, then how was it possible for everything to be ruined in such a short time?
His patience ended when, out of nowhere, the strings of his lyre jumped close to his face as they snapped. Making that awful noise that couldn’t mean nothing good.
Okay, enough, who is messing around in here? No more joking in his nation!
He concentrated a little, a faint but unique presence kept his nerves on edge, as if he was being watched from afar. He moved away from the busy areas and then chased that ephemeral energy to the highest point of the church, where the bells were ringing in an irregular and stressful way.
Then he found you. Snoozing against one of the columns, somewhat tired because the trip you made to reach Mondstadt.
Surprisingly, Barbatos understood you since the first exchange of words. A god of chaos who was also a free spirit, you followed no rules ever written in Teyvat, and you had no plans to apologize for the mess you made.
Both of you were Zhongli’s worst nightmare, but that’s another story.
He managed to through your arrogance and your teasing nature that you, in fact, were a lonely spirit that liked to witness the life from above of everyone.
The difference between teasing someone accidentally and committing a crime was really visible, but he still couldn't help but feel like he should scold you after your mere presence messed up with the guild's baskets full of fish.
But hey! He also enjoy the company! Venti tried to teach you how to enjoy the calm and the whisper of wind, music can also contain chaos, feelings, old stories waiting to be told again, expressions and desire united, in a wonderful piece of-
As you yawned his lyre broke up again. Making clear the message.
Okay, not even God of Freedom and Wind can control chaos. Anyways, what a tragedy, but there’s nothing a simple bard can do, smh.
“Do you like kids, don’t you?” He said once, after a nice day of hearing him sing before your chaos reached his little concert. Again watching everyone from above on the hands of the statue, with your attention caught by some kids playing tag.
“… I don’t know what do you mean.” Once discovered you had no choice but to remain defensive, pretending to be disinterested.
“Heh, you aren’t a good liar.” It may not be the wisest thing to make fun of someone who could destroy the place where you were resting, but Venti was confident that he knew you well enough to know that you were not so explosive. “You know!, I just have some pieces, but I think it’s because they are little walking concentrations of pure and innocent chaos, am I wrong?”
He wasn’t, no at all. But you would never confess something that embarrassing.
This guy wrote a ballad about the days when Mondstadt got immerse with that strike of bad luck. Kind of an apology of not being able to handle the situation.
Now there’s the rumor that says that, every time somebody sings that song, something unlucky will happen in front of you.
The song is cursed.
One night when the moon was shining on the Cider Lake his well tuned ears distinguished a melody that was broken from time to time by the accidents of his performer, distracting him of his way to look for you.
It could be painful to listen to, but Venti could certainly feel the dedication of the one who was playing the imperfect song.
The ballad of the god of chaos, hummed like a lullaby that instead of making you sleep makes you question the events of the day. Wishing for the slightest thing to be different after an exhaustive week of peace and tranquility.
A lonely spirits cursing their existence, sitting in the highest point of a stranger’s palace, where you can reach the sky by only rising your hand.
The next day, Barbatos invited you to drink some wine, this time near Windrise to avoid accidents in the city.
As he almost dropped the bottle when a lot of slimes were attracted by your presence, he confirmed the theory about that the way to spend time with you would not be his personal definition of hanging out.
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ZHONGLI
Okay, there’s only two scenarios that could happened when you set a foot in Liyue.
Old man has a soft spot for you for being a relative young deity.
Or he’s always lecturing you for not having control of your aura and powers.
How u dare bringing chaos to the nation of order? It’s that a death wish?
Jokes aside, you’re not really a threat. And he could sense that after he saw how you tried to avoid having direct contact with the city. Rex Lapis found your silhouette jumping and crossing through the mountains until reaching the fairest point that allowed you to enjoy the view of the streets that were filled with life and light as the sunsets.
He even noticed how you sighed in frustration when a storm started out of nowhere. A rain dedicated just for the arriving of the God of Chaos. Not even bothering of getting shield, you stayed in your place to look at all the people who were getting back to their places.
The rain seemed to stop over your head, for a second was enough to stop you from being cruelly swamped by the very weather you had created. An elegant umbrella covered you, the long awaited surprise you expected from someone as outdated as Morax.
You looked up, and found his expression calm and attentive, watching you. As if he had made a great discovery that he could not believe
“May I have a moment of your time to keep you company? Letting out your sorrows in the middle of a torrential storm is not what I would recommend as way to spend a good day.”
“… What are you talking about? Get in your own business, old man.”
“Well, you should know that a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved.”
Next time you knew was that he was helping you to dry your hair with a towel once you let him guide you to his place.
Zhongli picked you up like a abandoned cat that day. Even if having you near meant to deal with new the roof leaks.
Also kept you away from Hu Tao, if you two ever get along for being partners in crime he would seal himself underground-
For all the time you spend exploring Liyue, there he was. Like a little kid showing his treasures. But also like a worried father looking after his child for them not to stumble making their first steps.
Look at you! Almost crushing those Treasure Hoarders when a bunch of rocks fell down after you jumped at the edge of the cliff.
Wait, no- come back here! You should verify the surroundings and be aware of the weight of your power if you’re going to explore in that bold way. You, chaotic brat.
Another one who believed fervently that your mood was to blame for the constant chaos you caused. He also tried to show you the wonders of peace and calm, teaching you how to prepare tea while listening to the storyteller (also both being a little far away from the rest of them, just in case).
He couldn’t help but sigh when the teapot arm broke as soon as you tried to serve the tea. What a waste, he thought.
You apologized to him, kind of stressed with yourself after you took all the pieces with your bare hands to run away with them. Leaving a confused Zhongli behind.
Next day you were back, with the teapot repaired and just like new.
He let out a lot of thankful words, some flattering and a lot more cheesy things that you never had received before.
With that unexpected affection you couldn’t help but react flustered; then a cat that was chasing a bird jumped through a lot of decorations and merchandise, almost starting a fire as the chained events kept going.
Yeah,, uh, Zhongli got some useful mental notes about you and your chaos that day.
Hey, before you go, want to make a contract? You won’t regret it!
But as the wandering spirit you were you had no problems in reject his offer, but also promising that you would visit Liyue if he wanted you to.
Of course he wanted! But.. maybe next time you should stay in Huaguang Stone Forest instead of roaming near the city,,
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XIAO
Tried to kill you.
I mean, your aura is threatening and full of a destructive energy, how is possible that you weren’t a demon to eradicate??
Sorry, but he had a point.
Your first met was on your way to reach Huaguang Stone Forest along with Zhongli for introduce you with the Adeptus.
Xiao, in the other side, thought that you were about to attack Morax from behind, so he just struck against you. With his polearm near to go through your chest, just stopped because you felt him before.
Lifting your hand at his direction, summoning chaos, this time, on purpose. The wind gained a wrathful nature and the biggest roots that were hiding under his feet rose to caught him.
And when you were about to hit each other Zhongli’s shield appeared just in time to separate both of you. Preventing a real catastrophic event.
Now stop fighting and introduce to each other.
Nice(n’t) to meet u.
What if you tried to awake Azhdaha to bring chaos and destruction to Liyue? What if you wanted to summoned Osial? What if… ?
Zhongli had to confirm and promise to him that those cruel possibilities won’t be a near future for respecting the real reason of your travel.
No matter if he wasn’t comfortable with your presence, it wasn’t his decision to allow you to roam freely, so he had to get use to it.
He immediately knew after hearing about your nature that was your fault that lately there were a lot more demons and monsters. Even his karma was getting more painful than usual.
(If you ever meet Hu Tao, please think twice before doing Xiao a prank)
You both didn’t interact a lot, and being honest, it was better that way.
He hadn’t a single intention of talking with you again until the day you were practicing the song that your Anemo friend taught you. By the other hand, Xiao noticed that the melody had the same nature as the one he once heard before being consumed by the karma.
It wasn’t a flute, but a worn lyre that was still in one piece after weeks of being repaired again and again.
“That song… ”
“Do you know it?” Xiao just nodded, staying in silence, being your very first audience even if you still have a lot to learn about playing a lyre.
It wasn’t as effective as the original, but was still… nice, kind of nostalgic.
Next morning, the Yaksha called for you. Made you stay still in the middle of a plain and then he disappeared of your sight.
He abandoned y- wait, what’s that? Why those monsters has that weird dark aura?
You were about to defend yourself until Xiao appeared back just in time to defeat them.
That day you became his personal bait for demons and monsters. Naturally you attracted chaos, so anyway you were, there will be also something to fight.
I guess this is your way to pay for all the troubles you made for him and his duty, so no complaining about it.
If you ask for a unexpected experience to Ganyu she would said that once she found both of you fighting along against the catastrophe, looking after each other’s back and almost having a perfect synchrony.
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SHOGUN RAIDEN; EI
Also tried to kill you.
Well, the puppet tried to.
And then Ei tried when you had the opportunity of facing her.
But since killing a god just mean the releasing of a lot, pure, energy she couldn’t afford that risk, much less considering your “speciality”.
Who knows what would happen to Inazuma if your vital energy burst across the nation. Just like that old story about Sal Terrae and their goddess.
She just defeated you. Letting you rest and recovering in the midst of the plane of her reality within her mind. Your inert body in the middle of the battlefield as she kept meditating.
When you woke up she ignored your presence, but also denying your complaints about letting you go out back.
In her words, you were a burden, another enemy of eternity. Something as unpredictable as you and your “accidents” couldn’t get along with her utopia.
Ei could banish you from Inazuma, but she knows your type. Stubborn and not accepting the most simple orders to obey.
She knew that you would found a way to be back.
It’s better like this.
And in the hypothetical case of you being freed when she trapped the traveler (kicking you out) and then having a chance to see her again after the end of the war, then things would be somewhat different.
There’s not that much of civilization on some islands, so she allowed you to explore as much as your heart wanted. But if something serious happen, she promised that would end her work in the middle of the sea so your remains never be found.
Okay, message clear. Just do chaos near monsters and bandits, got it,,
Even if she wanted to spend some time with you and telling you some stories about Inazuma and other gods she couldn’t found the right time to call you at her presence.
As the current ruler of Inazuma she was busier than the rest of Archons you have meet. Maybe just some letters now and then like a way to keep a logbook, but not really a face to face talk.
Until she got the opportunity of a day off, just to found you messing around near some ruins. Trying to solve a puzzle before your speciality strikes in. The structure fell down after your fingertips reached the stone.
When the dust dissipated, you discovered her figure judging you from the other side of the remain ruins.
Give her a good reason for not errase you from the map, I dare u.
You felt the worst was about to come when Ei ordered you to follow her after a long sigh. Crossing her arms and starting to walk away from the bunch of old and worn rock.
Plot Twist, she actually invited you to rest under a tree, asking in her serene voice the reason for your journey and your origin. In such a direct way that it seemed more like a sentence than a talk to get to know each other better.
You answered what you could remember and then the silence stayed like the only way of interaction between you two.
Ohno, you know this pattern. Something’s about to happen-
“There is some strange beauty in the chaos, it may be the calm after the storm, but the catastrophe itself is seen as a necessary evil to appreciate the stillness. How much it would last until the lighting hit the valley?”
“So I arrived to keep order between the humans?”
Well yes, but actually no.
“… You see, if there is nothing but order and a lack of problems, mortals are likely to create them on their own. Their minds feels the need to be tested, to prove their worth, so I guess some of your chaos may be part of the history.”
“… then shall we take a walk in Inazuma?” You did not know if you were right, but you thought you saw a faint smile through his lips in the same way that lightning can be seen in the sky.
“I’ll allow it.” She said.
Her only condition was for you not to approach the huge boxes of fireworks down the street.
#genshin fic#genshin headcanons#genshin imagines#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#reader insert#genshin impact x y/n#genshin scenarios#mondstadt#genshin liyue#venti headcanons#genshin zhongli#genshin boys#baal x y/n#gi x reader#zhongli x y/n#xiao x y/n#xiao headcanons#xiao x reader#gi x you#male reader#genshin request#genshin baal#raiden shogun#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin x reader#genshin fluff#ei genshin#venti genshin x reader
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Dare Coupons and Wrong Ideas
2nd and last part of A Naked Nurse and Wrong Ideas (Read this first to know what’s going on)
Bucky x Reader + Avengers still thinking you slept together
A/N: I didn’t expect a lot of you would enjoy the first part so as requested, here’s a follow up!
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When you woke up, you were alone in your room, and it was already the next day. You only have small recollections of Bucky constantly checking your temperature, feeding you soup, and making you take medicine.
Your cheeks flushed at the memory that he had to only be in his boxer briefs because your AC had to be off or else you would’ve frozen to death.
Plugging your phone as the battery was about to drain, you saw that it had numerous messages from the team – some were saying congratulations to you and Bucky, Wanda was asking you for details, Sam was thanking you for making him 50 bucks richer, and Tony was saying you owe him money.
You didn’t think finally getting along with Bucky was that big of a deal for everyone. Chuckling, you decided to hop in the shower before getting some breakfast.
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“I told you, nothing happened.” Bucky was scowling at Sam who was ignoring him for the nth time that morning.
“I remember you also insisting you didn’t like Star Wars, then I caught you ordering Baby Yoda merchandise on Amazon. So, forgive me if I’d rather hear about what we saw yesterday from your new girlfriend.” Sam smirked, not looking up from his phone.
The rest of the team in the kitchen snickered. They were not giving him the chance to explain himself since he got there. Steve has warned them that he’s prone to lie and get defensive when he’s embarrassed.
Huffing in annoyance like a child, he sunk in his seat thinking of ways he could convince them that he was telling the truth, when you finally appeared.
“Good morning.” You mumbled a small greeting and made your way to the cupboards to get some cereal. He noted that you look a lot better than yesterday, and that you just showered.
Heading to the table, bowl in your hands, Nat gestured for you to sit between her and Wanda, and across from Steve, Clint, and Tony. Taking your seat, you scanned who else was on the long dining table, and your eyes landed on Bucky who was five seats away from Steve, and next to him was Sam, and Peter.
You gave Bucky a small smile as a thank you, mentally noting that you had to thank him personally in private later. But unbeknownst to you, the rest of the team took this as a “moment” and were exchanging meaningful looks, except for Tony.
Bucky returned the smile, grateful that you were finally here to clear things up for everyone and prove that he was telling the truth. But then Sam just had to be a villain.
“Hey tinman. I still have 3 dare coupons from you last Christmas. Now I dare you to keep your mouth shut for the rest of the morning.” He said in a low voice, raising his brows when Bucky was about to protest.
“Fine.” he huffed.
“All’s clear!” Sam said loudly, making you jump a little from your seat. What was that about?
“So... Y/N.” Steve started speaking, making you look up to him. “Bucky, huh? Who knew?”
“I know, right?” you smiled at him. So, you and Bucky finally getting along was that big of a deal for them. Maybe it was for team morale.
Nat cleared her throat before turning to you with a grin. “Sam, Steve, and I went to your room yesterday to check on you after FRIDAY said you haven’t been out of your room all morning. And uh, well a partially dressed Bucky greeted us.”
Looking across you again, Steve, Clint and Tony were also looking at you expectantly. You get how it must’ve been confusing why he had to take care of you in only his boxer briefs.
“Oh, I was actually the one who told him to just take it off. It was just getting too hot for him.” You shrugged and missed how Peter spat milk from his seat, and Sam telling him to keep it together.
“So how was he?” Wanda couldn’t keep herself from sounding too eager to know. You raised a brow in confusion at her but answered.
“Honestly, I didn’t know he could be that gentle.” You thought back to how Bucky was gentle and patient in taking care of you.
“Oh wow.” Wanda responded; eyes wide. Steve was turning red and was now avoiding making eye contact.
Bucky was smirking from his seat. At first, he thought it was going to be more embarrassing for him, but now he was actually enjoying how the team was torn between wanting to know more, and trying to spare themselves the visuals of their friends going at it.
“How would you uh... rate him.” Wanda asked again, making Vision nudge her for the question.
“Well, it did seem like he knew what he was doing. I’d say he has a lot of experience. I'd give it a ten.” You nodded at her, smiling at the thought of how the brooding guy could’ve once been the main caretaker for his sick siblings.
Bucky coughed to mask him laughter, making Sam glare at him.
“How are you now? Is the soreness gone?” It almost pained Clint to even ask that, but he knew everybody else was dying to ask.
“I’m still a bit sore, and my throat does hurt a little still, but nothing some more rest would get rid of.” you shrugged.
Tony turned his attention to Bucky, glaring. “Might have to ask him for tips then.” Clint replied, clearing his throat.
“There’s a kid here, you guys. Keep it down.” Steve warned all of you, referring to how Peter was also in the room, listening to the entire conversation.
“What, I think Pete here could also get some tips.” You replied. Why wouldn’t Steve want Peter to know how to take care of sick people? It’s not like it’s entirely different from how they do it today.
Sam choked on his toast, and it was now Peter's turn to mockingly tell him to keep it together.
“Let me just ask this. Is this a one-time thing?” It was now Tony’s time to ask. He’s always treated you like a daughter, so he wasn’t a big fan of you and Bucky getting together.
You didn’t think Tony was gonna be mad at you for getting sick. This hurt you a little, but you understand that it was your own stupidity that got you sick in the first place. It would’ve been bad if you had to miss a mission.
“I hope so? I really don’t want to miss any missions because I can barely move any muscles. I’m sorry, Tony.” You gave him a guilty look. “But it’s nice to know I could count on Bucky whenever I need any help.” You continued.
The rest of the team, shifted in their seats from cringing at what you just said.
Sam turned to a smirking Bucky. “You’re disgusting.” he said to him.
You finally turned your attention to Bucky. “Anyway, I never got to thank you this morning because when I woke up you were gone.” you smiled at him.
“WHAT?” Nat spoke loudly from beside you.
“You left before she woke up?!” Tony exclaimed. Steve glared at his friend, disappointed that he’d do such thing. The rest of the team were also scowling at him.
“It’s no big deal you guys, he had to stay up all night.” you defended Bucky, making him shake in his seat from now full-on laughing.
“You think this is funny, Barnes?!” Tony got up from his seat to stalk towards him. You got up as well to diffuse the situation.
“Woah, woah, woah. Why are you guys so mad at him?” you asked, standing beside Bucky who was still losing his shit on his seat.
“We know he’s been crushing on you, but he can’t just sleep with you and leave you like that!” Tony was all red from anger.
You paused from where you were standing to take in what he meant. And when it finally sank in why they were all acting so strange, you joined Bucky in laughter.
You rested your hand on Bucky’s shoulder for support, tears brimming your eyes from laughing too hard.
The team was now looking at you both in confusion.
“You thought we slept together?” You asked in between laughter.
“Well, what the hell could all of this have meant?!” Clint asked from his seat.
“I was sick and Bucky was nursing me.” you explained, composing yourself.
“Why was he in his underwear then? Because I do not need to know that you guys were role playing.” Sam interjected, a sour look on his face.
“My AC was off because I was too cold. I got sick because I raced you under a thunderstorm the night before, remember?” you said looking at Sam.
Collective Ohs were heard in the room.
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That afternoon, you were peacefully reading a book on your bed when you heard small knocks on your door.
“Come in.” you said out loud.
The door opened softly and Bucky came in with a smile on his face. “Hey, doll. How are you feeling?”
“I’m actually doing a lot better, Buck. Why, are you planning to strip off to your undies if I were sick again?” you joked, patting on a space infront of you on the bed.
“If you wanted me to so badly, all you have to do is ask, Y/N.” He chuckled and sat in front of you.
“Our friends are ridiculous.” You laughed, thinking back to what happened this morning.
“I know.” He nodded. “They got one thing right though.” he smiled at you again.
“And that is...?”
“I have been crushing on you.” He admitted, his cheeks turning a tinge of pink.
“So, I was right to tease you before.” you smiled smugly.
“Shut up.” he looked down, feeling your sheets in between his fingers.
“If it makes you feel any better, I am attracted to you too.” you admitted, and a boyish smile stretched on his lips.
“Was you being sick all a ploy to get me in my underwear?” he teased, and you smacked him playfully with a pillow near you. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
A comfortable silence passed, both of you just grinning, avoiding eye contact.
“You know, I never got to properly thank you for taking care of me.” You broke the silence.
“How could you ever repay me?” he asked in an exaggerated tone.
“Would a kiss from your crush, suffice?” you teased again, wiggling your brows playfully.
“Hey, you just said you like me too!” He defended himself. “But, yes.” he smiled sheepishly.
“Fine.” you playfully rolled your eyes before leaning in.
His lips were softer than you expected, and you could tell that he was smiling. Pulling you closer to him, both of you were getting carried away from what was supposed to be a quick peck, and missed to hear the creak from your door opening.
“I knew it!” A booming voice cut you both off. Head snapping to the doorway, Sam was standing there with a smug look on his face before leaving and letting the entire compound know that you were both lying that morning.
“Who’s gonna believe us now?” you let out a soft chuckle.
“I guess I have to ask you out on a date now, huh.” Bucky was grinning at you, playfulness lacing his tone.
“Oh, how inconvenient for you.” you gave his lips a quick before finally moving away, giggling.
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Tag list:
@lizzarooni @intothesoul
Special tag bc they asked for pt 2:
@coffeebooksandfandom @harrystylesandthegoobs
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HAVE A GREAT DAY!
#bucky#bucky angst#bucky barnes#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes masterlist#bucky barnes series#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky fanfic#bucky fic#bucky fic recs#bucky fluff#bucky imagine#bucky x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky x you#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#avengers#avengers au
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