#help im in my want me phase again
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
siamesedreamgirl · 1 year ago
Text
i wish I thought that was pretty so that I could turn you on and i had a dream you called me pretty and i told you you were wrong and i look for parts of you in every person that I meet bc my brain is dissipated and you’re where it used to be and it’s so typical of me to get so easily obsessed but in my head we’re in my bedroom and you’re getting undressed i want to take you to a rock show and kiss you in a bathroom stall i want to tell you that you’re mine and put you against a wall like a painting or a poster of a teenage crush i play it out inside my head as if you’re with me on the bus and we’re talking and you want to look inside my mind i say you can’t bc I LOST IT WHEN I KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE!!
3 notes · View notes
lesbianherald · 9 days ago
Text
I’m going to phrase this delicately because I’m so deeply grateful and awed by the support I’ve received.
But I will say it is a little anxiety inducing how many people feel they can talk about coming home whatever way they want openly and publicly because it has “numbers” or whatever (referring to my own work like this makes me want to claw my eyes out because they baffle me and I don’t necessarily feel I deserve them but it’s important for context).
This is Especially true for the way people speak under things I very much see. Art of the fic. My Twitter mutuals posts. Things I will very obviously interact with. It feels like someone is walking into my back yard and talking shit as if I'm literally not standing in said yard like this 🧍
You make something for a community for free as an act of passion and then the community in turn becomes something that isn’t quite accessible to you anymore. I’ve seen this happen to a lot of fic writers in my previous fandoms and idk man it’s just kind of a bummer.
Like. Fanfic and fanart is made by people in the fandom for the fandom. It’s not work being produced by some distant people in Hollywood who shouldn’t be in the fandom space in the first place.
Idk, it’s actually pretty rare that this happens to me but I wanted to mention I am a human who can very much read the things you say guys 😭 like if you reblog art related to my work and call it a bunch of petty names and say you had to dnf I can see that. It’s totally ok to feel whatever way you want. But maybe don't feel that way in my back yard.
Again. I’m so grateful for everything I really am. You absolutely do not have to fuck with my work. Fuck I don't fuck with my work sometimes DKLFJSDHF. This is probably the last time I’ll talk about this because the last thing I want to do is come off like I can’t take criticism and I’m ungrateful. But sometimes I really am chewing at my enclosure like IM RIGHT HERE MAN IM LITERALLY BEHIND YOU HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT.
126 notes · View notes
sluckythewizard · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
YOU JUST HƎARD IT FROM [HIS MOUTH] FOR SURƎ!!!
#cw gore#cw blood#jrwi fanart#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#BEEN VEHEMENTLY SCRIBBLING THIS THING ALL DAY#IM SO FUCKING IN LVOE W THE NEW EPISODE#VIV N VEX ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULDVE EVER WANTED. I LOVE BLOOD AND MEAT AND BLOOD AND MEAT#THE SCRIBBLE IS KINDA ROUGH SO DONT LOOK AT IT TOO HARD BUT EHEHEHEEEE THE FACE THAT I CREATED UNNERVES ME#AND IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I LOVE CREATING SOMETHING AND HAVING IT EVEN SLIGHTLY PHASE ME#I LOVED ALL THE TOOTH RIPPING NOISES IN THIS EPISODE. AHVE U EVER HAD A TOOTH REMOVED?#SHE USED A BLUNT METAL TOOL TO PUNCH IT OUT. IT REMINDED ME OF THE SPLINTERING OF A TREE. THE WAY IT TORE.#SUCH A SPECIFIC SORT OF CRUNCHING AND SPLINTERING AS A MOLAR WAS RRRRIPPPEEDD FROM THE SOCKET. OHH I LOVE IT.#GOING IN FOR A ROOT CANAL NEXT WEEK AND IM VERY EXCITED. ALL THE DENTISTS LOVE ME N ARE SO NICE TO ME#WHAT A GREAT EPISODE. I HOPE THE URGE TO DRAW MORE STRIKES ME LIKE THIS AGAIN. WEEEE!!#I WANNA ANIMATE EMIZEL GETTIN HIS EYE RRIPPED OUT. BUT. IM ALREADY COOKING 3 OTHER VIV N VEX ANIMATIONS#THERES NO WAY THEY WILL ALL BE FINISHED HELP!! HELP MEE!!!! I HAVE TO MANY IDEAS AND NOT ENOUGH HANDS. DO U GUYS REMEMBER HTF?#OR HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. THE CUTE ANIMAL SHOW W ALL THE BLOOD AND GORE AND TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO THE CUTE ANIMALS#in elementary school i would show the 'eyes cold lemonade' to other kids and tell em thats how they make pink lemonade.#hope that helps you undertsand. i wish i could make a lil cartoon w just viv n vex doing what they do best#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. IM GOING BACK TO MY LAB. DONT EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ME IN A MILLION YEARS
195 notes · View notes
yakultii · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
28 October / I think it’s gonna be okay guys !
80 notes · View notes
girlivealwaysbean · 3 months ago
Text
i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
10 notes · View notes
em-b-sides · 6 months ago
Text
I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
11 notes · View notes
djarinova · 2 months ago
Text
I've gotta be honest guys i don't know how many more "i just have to make it to next month and things will be better"s i got left in me
6 notes · View notes
whsprings · 8 months ago
Text
"erc can suck my dick!!!" I say as if my current situation isn't anyone's fault but my own
2 notes · View notes
sourliartdump · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
my wol adhira and his bun boi retainer shashi :)
2 notes · View notes
barnabybrainrot · 4 months ago
Text
considering disabling notifications for this blog and letting the queue run out idk
0 notes
snekdood · 8 months ago
Text
so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh
#and then as soon as i left that situation all of my art became normal again lmao#i went from drawing weird cryptic things that quite literally would only ever make sense to me#to just. drawin landscape stuff like normal again sdhvfdvghsd#i mean there a couple cryptic things here n there after but like. not nearly as cryptic at all. like you could p much easily make out what#is trying to be conveyed. the other shit is like. nothing. you couldn't understand unless I had to explain everything that happened#gotta say guys doing shrooms and being abused do not mix well at all#bc when im not being abused and im on shrooms shit is great. im feeling lit. all i wanna do is draw nature stuff#but that moment in my life? phew...#vent#i literally thought I died. like i literally thought I wasn't actually alive and I was in some mirror version of earth that was the#underworld-- so much happened. its kind of distressing to think about all the weird fucking visions i got#and its not even like it was always like that when I did shrooms with that person- initially in the love-bombing phase I was fine.#all of my art from then looks pretty fuckin normal save for ig more colorful stuff and trippy patterns or whatever. but otherwise fine#if anything it enhanced my art#its only after the gaslighting and the putting me down and the withdrawing love shit started happening that i just like. snapped.#idek. it was all so surprising to me because they really did convince me they loved me.#not only all of that abuse-- also the enabling my conspiracy theory brain too which didn't help#which ironically my art didn't have much do to with actual conspiracy theories but the mindset was implemented in to me so#there was a lot of weird delusions and paranoia and just like. stuff that didn't make sense but also did if I explained it?? idek#there was like a consistent story to my weird visions but it didn't make sense also. like there was no real reason for things to be what#they were or look the way they did or whatever#but there Was a consistent story still#its something i *want* to encapsulate into maybe a comic or picture book or something but like. idek if i could encapsulate it all#theres so many bits and pieces that idek if i could fully convey- idk#dawg even my stuff from after my couple of 'acid' trips wasn't as confusing and cryptic as the stuff after being abused#one common theme in a lot of it is its intentionally repelling. every part of my being knew I needed to be away from that person in spite#of how they would pretend to be friendly with me so some of that art is trying to scare them away in a weird cryptic way that tbfh#they probably didn't understand either whenever a pic was trying to do that like what it even was trying to say- thats kinda how fucking#crazy i got from that whole situation. i think part of me felt like that at least if it was vague and unhinged that it would scare them#away idrk. i do think it worked lol. even if it doesnt really fully make sense at all. idk. but 0/10 one of the worst periods of my life
0 notes
phagodyke · 8 months ago
Text
SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
#i was like huh whats that noise. bc i can normally NEVER hear anything over my headphones but it was the rain fucking shattering it down#my bed is WET the window was only open a few inches 😭#anyway had no signal at work again today smfh. but at least they let me on the bus free on the way there this morning#still a bit wobbly im in the baby deer phase of post major depressive episode#roommate asked how i was doing when she got home and i very very nearly started crying but i didnt i was so brave#my insane insecurity and anger swings post rsd episode have mostly faded too thank fuck. only took 4 days which is pretty good for me#but im still so so tired it takes everything out of me...#when im recovered + can talk abt it without making myself upset again im promising myself i will talk to her abt the rsd if nothing else#but i really really dont want to make her feel bad abt it at all its genuinely not anyones fault. but its important to me that i say smth#just so we can avoid it happening again where possible bc it does really suck so bad. for everyone im sure but mostly me here#and i would like to be able to care abt ppl and have close friends without risking my entire mental (+ physical..) wellbeing 😭#i think if im still struggling w mood once my meds stabilise i might ask if there are options to help w that too#like i think ive gone as far as i can w therapeutic techniques rn. its just too overwhelmingly intense and reflexive for me to apply that#and i dont feel like i live my life around it or in fear of it anymore like generally i have been a lot better#but when im vulnerable and it DOES strike i have no defense against it whatsoever and it can tank everything for weeks#its just high stakes. and it'll help to make sure ppl know abt it and might be able to support etc but it would be nice to never worry abt#so worth trying meds for it maybe. i just dont rly wanna have the conversations w medical ppl in order to get it in the first place#like i wouldnt feel safe telling a doctor abt it bc the idea of someone with that authority having power over me is terrifying#ah well this isnt a problem for right now. plus stimulants might help me w it anyway once im finished titrating so we'll see#got so distracted typing this i forgot what i was gonna do.... i need to check my planner#and then ill probably read and go to sleep early i think zzzzz#ahhh.. and the birds are singing outside now the rain has stopped :-)#.diaries
0 notes
thatskindasapphic · 2 years ago
Text
So I'm leaning towards a masc/butch lesbian label but worry I won't be butch or masc enough to call myself that. Like I'm sitting here identifying with them internally but idk if dress/act in a way that embodies them. I gotta stop worrying about labels altogether and just live lol
0 notes
stevie-petey · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media
episode nine: the piggyback
“It’s always been you,” Steve whispers, lips pressed above your brow. “The six kids. The family I’ve always wanted. Traveling the countryside. My dream, it’s always had you in it.” You laugh, breathless and in love. “I know, honey.” Sickly sweet warmth cascades through you. Your lips find Steve’s, you kiss the smile off his face. He lets you. “I’ve always known it was going to be the two of us.”
Summary: operation save hawkins is a go. youre eagle one, steve is currently doing that, eddie is youd be lying if you said you havent thought about it, nancy is it happened once in a dream, robin is if you had to pick a girl, and dustin is eagle two. what could possibly go wrong ? spoiler alert: everything. literally everything goes wrong. might as well break a few promises while youre at it. for the plot. but at least its over, right? .... right?
Rating: general, some swearing, violence
Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, cursing, weapons, blood, death and gore, injuries, lowkey suicidal thoughts
Words: 8.5k (we broke tradition where the last chapter is the longest but tbh this is probs for the best)
Before you swing in: oh my god this is the end. i am. very very emotional rn. this story is my baby and i dont know what im going to do now that its done. i cant even write an in between chapter because we still dont have season 5 content :((( im gonna miss writing this story, and i will absolutely go crazy waiting for season 5 so i can write again. these next few months will be ROUGH but !!!! thank you guys so so so much for reading. all your comments/reblogs/kudos/likes have meant the world to me. im truly the luckiest girl ever :') for now, and for the final time... enjoy !
It’s pitch black outside. All around you is darkness. The sun is long gone, its golden warmth no longer present, retreating into the treeline as if afraid of what the night will bring. 
You’re afraid, too.
Everyone stands around Nancy. The group is quiet as you await whatever she has to say. When she turns to face you, her voice is leveled, calm, but her hands shake. 
She’s afraid, too.
“Okay,” Nancy exhales deeply. “I wanna run through it one more time.” She looks at Robin, prompting her to recite everything back. “Phase one?”
“We meet Erica at the playground.” Robin responds. “She’ll signal Max and Lucas when we’re ready.”
“Phase two.”
You step forward. “Max and I will bait Vecna. When he goes after one of us, he’ll go into his trance. If he chooses Max, we’ll go onto phase three together.”
“And…” Nancy swallows, looking away. “And if he chooses you?”
It’s Steve who steps forward this time. He stands tall, brave, but his voice shakes. “Then I’ll stay with her, walkman ready, while you and Robin go on your own.”
You grab his hand, squeezing it. He squeezes back. 
“Speaking of phase three.” Dustin clears his throat, weary eyes never leaving you. “Me and Eddie wil draw the bats away.”
“Carefully,” you look pointedly at your brother. “Right?”
He rolls his eyes at you while Nancy continues speaking. “Okay, phase four.”
“We head into Vecna’s newly bat-free lair and…” Robin holds up a molotov cocktail. The liquid sloshes around. The scent of gasoline still stings your nose from when you helped her pour it into the bottles earlier. “Flambe.” 
“Nobody moves onto the next phase until we’ve all copied. Nobody deviates from the plan, no matter what.” Nancy reiterates, looking around the RV. Her eyes linger on you, cautious, almost doubtful. She trusts you. She knows she trusts you. But she also knows your heart and the lengths you’ll go to save others. 
Nancy has always admired your selflessness, but she’s also always seen it as your greatest strength and weakness. A coin, two sides. Now, tonight, she has to hope that you’ll follow the plan. Even if it means leaving Max behind if she’s the one Vecna chooses.
Your eyes harden when you realize what Nancy is thinking. Without saying anything, you nod at her. The jut of your chin tells her that you’ll be fine. That she needs to trust you. 
Eddie’s trailer is only a few yards away, but the walk to it feels like decades. Steve guides and Nancy is close behind him. You stay back, walking beside Dustin. Your shoulders brush. His presence grounds you, reassures you that you will make it through the night. 
Dustin, sensing your fear, reaches for your hand. He extends his warmth to you, silently promising you that he will always be here. There isn’t anything left to say.
Steve opens Eddie’s door, turning the lights on and tossing his backpack to the ground. He eyes the rope that connects the trailer to the Upside Down, getting ready for the part of the plan that you honestly really hate.
“Be careful, please.” You urge him, uncomfortable that he has to be the first one to return to the hell that is the Upside Down. It makes sense, he’s the only one able to climb the rope up, but still. You’ve had shit luck these last few days.
“I’m always careful, angel.” Steve winks at you, rolling his sleeves up. “Here goes nothing.”
He climbs up quickly, years of being an athlete being put to use. Everyone watches anxiously. However, when Steve crosses through the gate and lands with a cheesy flip, you and Robin share a disgusted look. 
“What, does he want us to applaud?” She scoffs.
You shake your head. “Somethings I think he has an imaginary audience in his head.”
“Do you think they ever boo him?” “Not like we do.”
Nancy covers her mouth, muffling her laugh, and Robin snorts. You smile at the two of them, momentarily forgetting what’s to come.
“Alright,” Steve shouts up, tossing down Eddie’s old mattress. “Let’s go.”
You take a deep breath, steadying your nerves. Wiping your hands on your jeans, you place them on the rope and prepare for the inevitable torture that this will be. You’re pretty sure you’re bleeding again. 
“A little help?” You ask the others, motioning towards your injured leg and shoulder. “Sorta out of commission.”
Eddie grips your waist while Robin and Nancy gently hike your legs up. Together the three of them are able to carry you almost all the way up. Breathing through your nose, you grit your teeth and climb the rest of the way, wincing every few seconds. The pain is unbearable.
You really hope you don’t sound as pathetic as you look.
When you land on the mattress, small, black dots litter your vision. “I think I’m gonna throw up.”
Steve is already bending down, helping you up with ease. “And ruin Munson’s tidy home?”
Woozy from pain, you bat Steve away and wait for the others to join. Nancy comes next, then Robin, then Eddie and Dustin. Weapons get tossed down. Bodies land on the mattress with finalizing thuds. 
Outside, it’s just as cold as you remember it. Eddie and Dustin stay in front of the trailer. This is as far as they’re going. They aren’t leaving.
Roughly you pull at your brother. His body lands against yours, but the kiss your press to his forehead is gentle. You haven’t done this since he was a kid. Dustin flings his arms around you, nearly knocking all the air from your lungs. He squeezes you tight, as terrified as you are, and you feel tears in your eyes.
“We’ll come home,” your whisper is hoarse, rough and desperate. You bury your face in his mess of curls and kiss his head again. “The house won’t be empty.”
Dustin sniffles, too weak to hide his tears. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Your throat burns. How can you possibly leave him? 
Vision blurry with tears, Eddie manages to catch your attention as you cling onto your brother. The teen nods, lifting his pinky in the air to wave it at you, reminding you of his promise to you. He’ll protect Dustin. He swore it.
Reluctantly, you pull away from Dustin and wipe your face. “Please don’t die. Who knows what Mews’ ghost would do to you?” Dustin laughs wetly, wiping his own face as well. The thought of your childhood cat haunting his grave is enough to lessen the sting of letting you go. 
“If things here start to go south, I mean, at all, you abort.” Steve breaks the remorseful silence. He doesn’t want anyone getting hurt. He doesn’t want you losing anyone else. “Draw the attention of the bats, keep ‘em busy for a minute or two. We’ll take care of Vecna. Don’t try to be a hero or anything.”
His tone is harsh, but you know Steve means well. You also don’t want Dustin and Eddie anywhere near danger. As long as they stick to the plan, they’ll be fine. They have the quickest escape route and the most amount of protection.
“What Steve is trying to say is that you two better climb back through the gate the moment anything bad happens.” You look at the two boys. They stare at you, grim faced. “I mean it, okay? Go through the gate, don’t try anything else.”
“We’re the decoys, we get it.” Dustin rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry. You and Steve can be the heroes.”
“Look at us,” Eddie nudges your brother’s shoulder. “We’re not heroes.”
Your stomach twists. You hate how Dustin views his and Eddie’s position. They aren’t just decoys, they’re heroes in your eyes. They’re facing an army of bats all on their own, but you don’t dare say this out loud, afraid to encourage them. 
“Just…” your mouth is dry. “Just be safe, alright?”
“We will.” Eddie swallows. Then he pauses, his gaze darkens slightly. Looking back at you, he breathes out, “And make him pay.”
You and Steve look at each other. So much of Eddie’s life has been ruined by Vecna. Even if you all make it out of here alive, killing Vecna, there’s no guarantee that Hawkins will accept him back into the town. You understand the anger that resides within Eddie. The desire to kill the very thing that has destroyed everything he loves. 
You bite your lip. You’ve never made a promise you haven’t been able to keep. But this time you’re facing something bigger than anything you could’ve ever imagined. All this time you’ve tried convincing yourself that you’ll win. That everything will work out.
But you remember last summer. 
The mall. The fire and the deaths. Hopper. Billy. The power Vecna seems to hold, his claws that have sunk into you and Max. His threat to Nancy. The danger that Hawkins is in, up above where your mother sleeps peacefully. Unaware of what you’re sacrificing for her.
This is more than anything you’ve ever dealt with before. But a promise built on an unsteady foundation is all you can give Eddie. 
“Well will,” you echo his earlier promise.
Eddie smiles at you. The one you’ve grown to like, even find charming. Slanted and mischievous. The glint in his eyes never dimmed, even after everything. Through it all, he remained kind.
This is how you’ll always remember him.
– 
The further you walk away from Eddie and Dustin, the harder you have to force yourself to keep going. Your body is heavy, the weight slowing you down, pleading with you to go back. None of this feels right.
Steve’s hand on the small of your back is the only thing keeping your heart from collapsing. Robin’s smile helps, too. 
“You’d think this place gets less creepy the second time around.” She says, stepping over a root. “But I’m still pretty damn creeped out.”
“It isn’t the most pleasant place.” You agree. 
Robin steps over another root, looking back at you as she does so. “At least I’m here to protect you, Y/N. Pretty brave, don’t you think?” “Hey,” Steve warns. “Watch it.”
You knock your shoulder against his and smile apologetically at Robin. “Like always, I think you’re the bravest.”
She smiles proudly, throwing her fist in the air in excitement. However, after stepping over a root for what feels like the tenth time, her heart starts to pound. Looking around, all the trees suddenly look the same. Have you been here before?
“Not to alarm anyone, but I swear we’ve seen this tree before.”
“That’s impossible.” Nancy dimisses.
You agree. “We’re in the woods. All we’re going to see are trees.”
Robin tries to calm herself down, but ultimately fails. There are so many components to the plan, so many ways it can go wrong. “I mean, that would suck, right? Veca destroys the world because we got lost in the woods.”
“We aren’t lost–” You try to reason with her, but Robin is already running away in a panic. You scream at her, terrified of losing her. “Robin!”
“I’ll be back!”
You start to stumble after her. “Why does everyone want to separate?” You huff out, nearly tripping. “There’s safety in numbers! Come back!”
Nancy, seeing your fear for your friend and horrible coordination skills, steps in front of you. “I’ll go after her. You stay here with Steve.”
And then she’s gone, disappearing into the mass of branches alongside Robin. 
“They’ll be fine,” Steve reassures you, grabbing your hand. “They’re tough, even if Robin may lose her mind sometimes when she’s distressed.”
“I think we’re all slowly losing our minds.” You laugh, bitter.
Steve tightens his hand around yours. The two of you walk in silence for a while. The thunder above you serves as a reminder of where you are. The darkness is a threat. But you’re here, together. That’s all that Steve cares about in the end.
“Did you really mean what you said? Back at the cemetery?” He asks, clearing his throat in unease. The question has been on his mind ever since he heard your pleas for Vecna to take you instead of Max. 
He thinks of how adamant you’ve been to protect her. How you’re only here with him right now because Max wouldn’t let you blindly walk towards your death. 
The question strikes deep guilt within you, yet an exhaustion follows. You’re ashamed of how desperately you pleaded to die. Steve and Dustin had to hear you beg for your death. Lucas, too. 
You’re ashamed. Yet you wouldn’t take it back.
“I did.” You finally say. “I wanted him to take me.”
Steve already knew you’d say this. He’d been expecting anger to follow, to be furious with you for sacrificing yourself knowing he’d be left to pick up the pieces. 
But seeing the way you set your jaw and stare ahead, seeing the resolve that masks your face, the acceptance of your decisions, Steve can’t bring himself to be angry. Not at you. 
This is who you are.
“I won’t let anything happen to you.” Steve promises you again. He will always promise this to you. Over and over again, he will die saying these words to you. “I-I can’t lose you. I refuse to lose you.”
Your eyes remain downcast. 
“I know that this is how you love,” he grabs your jacket, begging you to look at him. “I know that I can’t let you lose the ones you love. Dustin, Max, Robin, Lucas, or El or Mike or Nancy. Hell, even Jonathan. I won’t let you lose them, but I won’t lose you, either.”
He understands, then. The selflessness within you and its selfish ways. Yet he doesn’t shy away or hiss at its venom. Steve opens his hands and allows the selfishness to stay there, warming it with his skin. 
You kiss him. Surprising both him and you, yet you melt together. Steve circles his arms around your waist, pulls you flush against him, and in the cynicism that surrounds you, there is still love. 
“Thank you,” you breathe against his lips. He’s wonderful. He loves you wholly, without any faults. Your kindness and its destructive ways; he accepts it all. “Thank you for understanding.”
And this, you believe, is the most selfless act a person can do. Steve’s understanding of why you need to do this, to sacrifice your life for Max’s, even if it means he risks losing you. 
“I should be the one thanking you,” Steve kisses you again, softer this time. Slower. 
You pull back, confused. “Why?” He pulls you in again. “I mean, I don’t know if you know this, but I was a pretty huge asshole back then.” You laugh softly, and Steve knows he’s exactly where he’s meant to be. “You saw this good in me that I didn’t know existed. Right off the bat you saw through me, expecting more from me than anyone else ever did. I wouldn’t be who I am now without you. ”
“Steve…”
“And I’m sorry for thinking you didn’t see a future with me.” He continues, unable to stop now. This is everything he’s wanted to tell you ever since you allowed him into your life. “I know it’s stupid now, apologizing for our fight a week ago after the hell we’ve been through since then, but…”
He can’t believe he almost let something as small as a misalignment of where you’ll be a year from now jeopardize what you have. There is a string that attaches Steve to you, it brought you to him and tied your heart to his. 
“I meant what I said, Y/N.” Steve’s forehead presses against yours. “I’d wait forever if it means I can have forever with you.”
His eyes shine down at you, brown and warm. The honey you fell in love with when he pretended not to know your name, all to get you to laugh. 
“When your head went under the water, that night at Lover’s Lake, I thought you were dead.” Your voice shakes, remembering the fear that choked you. “For those thirty seconds, I thought you were dead, and it almost killed me.”
It was then that you realized how truly you can’t lose Steve. You’ve always known this, but to have his soul ripped from yours so suddenly, so permanently, there are no words to express the agony that poisoned you. 
Losing him would be the one thing you’d never recover from.  
“I don’t ever want to live through those thirty seconds again,” you’re crying. Steve is, too. He wipes a tear that falls, strokes your cheek, and you can’t bear the thought of a world without his touch. “I want forever with you, too. We’ll figure it out, but I’m not losing you. You have to be in my life, in whatever capacity. Whether you’re in a small, cramped apartment with me in New York or in Hawkins, waiting for me to come home.”
Your breath hitches. To think that a childish argument almost separated him from you. 
“As long as we come home to one another, it doesn’t matter.” 
Steve is quiet after you’ve said all this, and for a moment you’re scared you’ve said too much. Revealed too much of yourself, convinced him he’s gotten it all wrong, but then he cradles your face. His hands are soft, tender, the weight of them familiar against your skin. 
He kisses your forehead, and you exhale the last of your uncertainty. All that is left within your lungs is love. 
“It’s always been you,” Steve whispers, lips pressed above your brow. “The six kids. The family I’ve always wanted. Traveling the countryside. My dream, it’s always had you in it.”
You laugh, breathless and in love. “I know, honey.” Sickly sweet warmth cascades through you. Your lips find Steve’s, you kiss the smile off his face. He lets you. “I’ve always known it was going to be the two of us.”
Steve smiles, wide and bashful, and you know that this is where you’re meant to be, too.
“Hey, guys!” Robin breaks through the treeline, running back with Nancy right behind her. “Awesome news!”
“We aren’t lost.” Nancy cuts to the chase. “We think the Creel house is up ahead.”
“Well, what are we waiting for?” You step out of Steve’s arms, though your hand remains intertwined with his. “Let’s go face imminent doom.”
Nancy huffs out a laugh and Robin winces, though Steve squeezes your hand and is the first one to start walking. Together, the five of you descend deeper into the woods.
Unsurprisingly, the Creel house is even more terrifying in the Upside Down. Bats surround it, their screeches stinging your ears. Lightning flashes a deep, blood red and the thunder that follows causes your heart to drop.
You stand at the crest of the hill. There’s a light below you, its glow pure in the abandoned park where it resides. The same park that you told Erica to hide in as she waited for Max and Lucas to take their place. The light flashes.
It’s time for phase two.
– 
“Max is moving into phase two: distracting Vecna. Y/N, get ready.” Erica’s voice carries into the Upside Down.
Nancy, Robin, and Steve all turn to you. Grief and longing taint their faces. Your walkman hangs from Steve’s hand. He grips it tightly. Tension coats the air, nearly suffocating you; you can’t run anymore. 
No one says anything as you carefully lower yourself to the ground. It’s cold beneath you. Hard, unforgiving. You cross your legs, ignoring the deep ache of your wounds as you do so. You close your eyes. The storm is coming. 
“Take the bait, you son of a bitch.” You hear Nancy whisper. 
You or Max.
Take me, you silently beg. Take. Me. 
Silence settles over the group. Everyone waits with bated breath. No one knows who Vecna will choose. 
Steve stands nervously behind you, his hand on your walkman at all times. 
Just take me. Kill me instead of her. If you’ve watched me for so long, then just get it over with. Don’t make this easy, don’t be such a fucking coward.
The words echo in your head. Taunting Vecna, hoping their malice will be what saves Max. That he’ll choose you in the end, give you what you want. You’ll do whatever, say whatever you need, if it means Max will come home. 
Something pricks your skin. An uncomfortable, electric sensation coats your entire body. 
Vecna. 
For a moment you think he’s listened. You can feel his presence, the weight of him shadows in your mind. He’s here, he’s spared you mercy after prolonged cruelty. He’s chosen you and Max will survive. Her blue eyes will remain bright, her body alive.
Then it all comes crashing down.
“He chose Max. I repeat, he chose Max.” Erica says, voice cutting through the delusions you allowed yourself to get lost in.
Your ears are ringing. Somewhere in your body there is still oxygen that has not escaped you, but you cannot find it. He chose her. 
Robin radios Dustin and Eddie, you think she’s instructing them to move onto phase three, but her words are jumbled in your mind and you can’t hear anything besides the screaming in your head. 
He chose her.
“Y/N,” someone roughly grabs your shoulder. “Y/N, look at me.”
Nancy. She’s in front of you, kneeled down. She grabs your arms, her grip vicious. Her mouth moves. She’s saying something, the way her chest heaves makes you think she’s yelling.
Is she yelling at you?
“Y/N!” The ringing doesn’t subside, but you manage to look at Nancy. “We need to go!”
She’s right. You need to leave. There isn’t time to remember how to breathe. You know this. Somewhere in the distance there’s music. Guitar rifts through the wind, Eddie’s melody enrages the bats that swarm the Creel house. They’re gone in seconds, flying towards the sound, and you need to stick to the plan. 
Your head moves shakily, managing a small nod, and Nancy yanks you up with Steve’s help. She looks at Robin, and suddenly her and Steve grab your arms and force you to walk alongside Nancy. They aren’t aggressive as they do so, nor are they cruel. But you can’t afford to shut down. Not now.
Max won’t survive if you do. There’s no time to hesitate. No turning back.
You hope she finds the light.
Lightning flashes all around you, illuminating the Creel house as you stand before it. Steve opens the door first. The vines that cover the ground writhe at the disturbance. He shines his flashlight, his heart drops when he realizes just how infested the house is.
“Shit,” he breathes out. The floor is virtually impossible to walk across. “That’s not good.”
Then, because he has no other option, Steve starts jumping to any safe spot he can land on. He looks ridiculous as he does so, but for once you aren’t focused on that. Instead, you stare down at your injured leg and wince.
“Great,” your thigh is currently more blood than flesh. Jumping on it is quite literally the last thing you should be doing. “This is gonna hurt.”
“At least you have good balance?” Robin offers, though she doesn’t believe what she’s saying either. 
Nancy grabs your hand, then Robin’s. She looks at the two of you and smiles, trying her best to look reassuring. “It’s okay. You guys got this.”
The first jump hurts, setting the remaining nerves in your upper thigh on fire, but you can’t afford to scream or collapse. You have to remind yourself that the vines are interconnected. One wrong step, one miscalculated fall, and they’ll wrap viciously around you. 
It’s a slow, tedious process trying to get to the attic. The stairs are the hardest part. The vines twist with every step, slithering across the walls. Steve does his best to help you, offering you his hand for support, but you both hold your breath every time your foot slips. 
When you make it to the attic door, everyone readies their weapons. In one hand are your knives, in the other a molotov cocktail. Steve spins you around, digging into the backpack for an ax while Nancy grabs her gun. 
Your foot lifts, about to step forward, before the ground beneath you shakes violently. The entire house trembles, and Steve barely has enough time to catch everyone as all of you struggle not to fall. 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” You sneer, holding desperately onto Steve. This is all some sick, cruel joke. A poorly timed rupture in your rapture.
But then the house stills. Everything is quiet. You, Nancy, Steve, and Robin stare at one another, panting. Nobody moves. There’s a clarity in the air, a false sense of security. 
That’s when the first vine latches onto Robin. 
It folds around her ankle before tearing her away from you. She screams, so do you, and her body is thrown against the wall as more vines encase her limbs. They move fast, snake like, and everything unravels after that. 
“Steve! Y/N!” She screeches, terrified. “Nancy!” 
You’re at her side in a second, stabbing at the vines. Your knuckles are white as you grip your knives, your biceps strain. You aren’t letting them take Robin from you. “Hold on!”
Your teeth grit together in exertion, sawing as fast as you can. Steve and Nancy are on the other side, throwing their axes as hard furiously into the vines. But nothing works, they’re too thick, and you don’t realize that one of the vines has wrapped around your arm until it’s too late.
“Y/N!” Steve screams when your body gets lifted into the air. You try to fight it, to pry your arm away, but your legs give out and soon a second vine wraps around your other arm. Then a third, a fourth and a fifth. 
In seconds you’re pressed against the wall. 
“Steve!” Screams are ripped from your throat, you try to call out, to beg for your life, but the more you move, the tighter the vines constrict.
Steve calls after you, ramming into the wall as he tries to cut you loose. “I got you! I–”
The ax he’s holding gets yanked back by a vine. He’s launched into the air, body landing harshly next to yours several feet up the wall. He screams again, but his voice dies when a vine cuts off his breathing and chokes him.
Another vine coils around your throat and suddenly you can’t breathe. Your airway constricts. Sobbing, you try to reach out to Steve. You’re inches apart, his fingers are so close to yours that you can feel their warmth, but you can’t reach him
All you want to do is hold him. 
Nancy falls to the ground, the last victim. She gets thrown to the opposite wall, it all happens so fast that she doesn’t even have time to scream. 
Your vision blurs. You close your eyes.
This is how you’ll die. 
Far away from your home. No one will find your body down here. Dustin will come looking for you and he’ll face the same fate. He will die trying to find you. Vecna will destroy everything you’ve ever loved.
Your lungs burn, fighting for breath that they cannot get. Blood rushes to your head. You take your last breath. The sound of it echoes in your ears. 
Everything goes black. 
Your mother will be worried about you. 
I’m sorry.
– 
There’s a body beneath yours. 
It groans, gasping for air, but your vision is dark and you can’t see anything. Pain erupts in your wrist. You try to move it, but the sting makes you nauseous. 
There’s coughing all around you, but you’re too weak to suck the air back in. Everyone cowers for breath. The vines rescind, unwrapping themselves from your skin. There’s a body beneath you, and a gentle hand cups your cheek, you know it’s Steve.
“Breathe, angel.” His voice cracks, wounded. It hurts to speak, but he needs you to breathe. “Y/N, you have to breathe.”
Everything is numb. Your lungs are empty; you can’t remember how to fill them. Steve coaxes your lips open, blows air in your face, does whatever he can think of to get you to breathe, before finally, miraculously, you inhale sharply and begin coughing. 
“Are you alright?” Steve asks you softly, rubbing your back as you cough. “It’s okay. Take your time.”
Your throat is raw. It takes everything within you to speak, but you want to. You need to. There’s only one thing you want to say. “We have to make him pay.”
The anger is back, and Steve’s jaw sets. Vecna has hurt you. He’s hurt everyone you love. He’s chosen Max for his final death and your fury threatens to devour the sanity you have left. You’re tired of his shitty mind games.
It’s like what you promised Eddie: you have to make Vecna pay for what he’s done to you all.
“I don’t believe in a higher power,” Robin rasps, breaking you from your thoughts. “Or divine intervention. But that was a miracle.”
Nancy cocks her gun, already walking towards the attic door. “Then we better not waste it.”
“Phase four.” Steve says, steadying himself against you. 
“Flambe.” Robin finishes. 
You flick your knives out. “Let’s finish this.”
– 
Vecna’s body hangs in the attic, thick, gruesome vines attach him to every crevice. He’s unmoving, eyes closed, and seeing his body up close makes you want to gag. He’s a terrible, vile creature. 
But Dustin had been right: Vecna is in the same trance-like state that El goes into when she uses her powers. 
Without being told to, Robin sets down her bag. All the molotov cocktails are inside. Everyone grabs one, silent. Almost as if you’re all too afraid to break the spell he’s under. You only get one shot at this. 
Steve has the lighter. You hold the first cocktail up, and he looks at you, eyes shining. He asks you if you’re ready, if this is what you really want, and you nod. At your signal, Steve throws the cocktail into the air.
The bottle shatters against Vecna’s body. The flames engulf him, the impact of the blast so powerful that it knocks you and everyone else back. There’s an awful scream as Vecna’s vines begin to snap from the sudden heat.
Your screams mix with his, throwing another cocktail with every ounce of strength you have left in you. You’re bruised and bloodied and exhausted, but you think of Max. You think of Billy and Hopper. Eddie and how his life will never be the same again. You think of Chrissy, Patrick and Fred. All the innocent lives that have been lost for a cause that you despise. 
This is for them. For Hawkins. For your home.
The last of the vines die withering away, and Vecna’s body falls to the ground. He stands, body on fire, and stalks towards you. His eyes are only on you. 
Robin lights the final cocktail and the force of it sends Vecna stumbling back. It’s enough to break through his chest, and he’s weak. Weaker than you’ve ever seen him. 
“Shoot him, Nancy!” You cry, ready for this all to end. 
And she does.
The first blast pierces Vecna’s skin. The second, third, and fourth diminish him to ruined pieces. With every shot, Nancy steps forward, drawing him out, and you’re right behind her. Vecna releases a deep, furious roar. The sound of it sinks into your bones, but you no longer fear him. 
He isn’t worth your fear. 
Nancy raises her gun again. She deals the final blow, sending Vecna through the old, rotted wood of the house into the dark night. He falls, screaming, before everything is quiet. 
The roar of the fire that surrounds you is the only sound. You all stand in the attic, numb. None of it feels real. All that’s left of Vecna is a hole in the house, his body far below, sprawled on the concrete outside. 
“Did we…?” You’re afraid to jinx it, to somehow bring him back. But this has to be it. There isn’t any other way for this to end.
Nancy doesn’t say anything. Instead, she turns around, running back down the stairs. No one has to ask why she does this; you all know. There has to be a body. There must be tangible proof that you’ve won.
Everyone runs outside.
Vecna’s body is gone. 
The only indication that he’d been there is an outline of flames that molt the grass below it. But there is no body.
“No,” you run down the steps, kicking through the grass as you look around. You’re frantic, sprawling on the ground as if you’ll find him buried beneath the ash. “No, where is he?”
You killed him. He was on fire. Nancy put more than five bullets in him. He fell from the attic, a height that alone should’ve killed him. Where the fuck is he? You did everything right. Followed every step of the goddamn plan.
“This doesn’t make any sense.” Something is wrong, you just don’t know what. Steve and the others join you. They’re quiet, fearing what you’re refusing to even consider. Four deaths. That had been all Vecna needed. But you killed him. “None of this makes sense, unless… Unless he–”
No. 
A bell chimes. 
The sound sends you to the ground. Your knees give out, collapsing under the weight of it all. “No!” Your scream is loud, guttural. Tearing from your chest as it tears out your vocal chords. There’s blood in your mouth and you want it to choke you. 
It’s Max. 
He got her. He killed her. 
All of a sudden there are arms around you. Someone carries you back up the stairs, back into the house that has taken everything from you. Steve holds you to his chest as he, Nancy, and Robin stare at the grandfather clock before them. 
It’s alive.
“Four chimes,” Nancy’s voice can barely be heard above your crying. “Max…”
The realization settles upon all of you. You’re in hysterics, no one can calm you down. You’re crying so hard that you can’t breathe, but you don’t want to breathe anymore. 
Grief pours from you in cruel, bitter waves. All you do is cry, barely even registering the earthquake that follows your devastating loss. 
Steve has to set down your crying figure in order to stabilize Robin and Nancy. You curl into yourself on the ground, making yourself as small as possible. There is too much. It’s all too much. Your head digs into the floor beneath you, cutting you, and your tears mix with the blood. 
Over and over again the clock chimes. Like laughter. His laughter. 
He won. 
Steve holds onto the stairs as the earthquake worsens. He has to crawl over to you; you’re rocking back and forth on the ground, your cries heard even above the cracking of the earth. His hand wraps around your weeping body and he won’t let you go. Steve tries to shield you from fallen debris, the world is falling apart, but you don’t move.
You don’t care anymore. 
It’s always your fault in the end. You lose everyone eventually; you get them killed. You can never save them. You will never be able to save them.
She’s gone. 
Max is gone. 
– 
The days pass. You’ll come to remember them in fragments. 
Returning to Eddie’s trailer and finding Dustin crying over his dead body. Prying him away, your tears mixing with your brother’s when you have to tell him that something has happened to Max.
Finding Hawkins in flames. Seeing the deep gashes in the town you grew up in. Stumbling to the Creel house, racing side by side with the ambulances for everyone within the once quiet town, and collapsing again when you find no one there. 
Going home. Your mother’s arms breaking you. 
Steve. How he never left your side throughout it all. Holding Dustin’s hand, unable to stop crying. 
Visiting Max in the hospital the day after. The stench of sterilizer and surgical tools. Seeing her lifeless body still alive. The countless other bodies in the building that died due to your failure. 
When the news broadcasters announce Hawkins to be cursed. The burden that you can’t tell them that they’re right. The guilt seeing your baby brother’s limp. Another scar he will carry with him forever. 
All the hurt in the town. The pain. 
The collapse of your home; they’re calling it an earthquake. 
It all comes to you in flashes. 
Hawkins high school gets converted into a donation center for everyone dishoused. Visiting it is your idea. You can’t bear the thought of spending any more time inside your home knowing there are hundreds of others who no longer have a place to call home. 
“Anything else?” You place your old comics into one of the boxes you’re donating. 
Dustin shakes his head. “That’s the last of it.”
He hasn’t left your side in days. He still keeps your walkman on him, though neither of you know if it’s important anymore. Dustin is afraid that you’ll never put the headphones on again, even if it could save your life. 
You tape the boxes up, carefully writing down their contents on one of the flaps. Your fingers are scabbed. Your wrist is stiff, locking up if you move it too suddenly. 
Books.
Bedding. 
Clothing.
Anything you can offer, you’d give it all to Hawkins if you could.
Steve picks you up. He helps you put the boxes in the back of his car, gentle with you as always. “You guys ready?”
You nod weakly, and Steve kisses your forehead, careful of the cuts that litter it. He helps you into the car. Turns on your favorite songs. Tries to distract you from the wreckage that encases Hawkins as he drives; you keep your head down. You can’t look at any of it. 
Nancy is waiting in her driveway with Robin, a pile of their own boxes at their feet. They greet you kindly, warmly, with an air of fear that you’ll break, and you’re too tired to pretend. 
“I found some more of your old stuff in the attic,” Mrs. Wheeler walks out of the garage, smiling despite the circumstances. “I think it’s lovely you’re doing this, Y/N.”
“We all just want to help,” you politely respond, staying near Steve’s side. 
Nancy picks up one of the stuffed animals in the box and pouts, seeing her old favorite toy. You’re about to tease her, try to laugh, when a pizza delivery van speeds down the block. 
“Someone order a pizza?” Mrs. Wheeler asks.
“Not that I recall.” You mumble, confused as your eyes follow the car. Every business in Hawkins is shut down right now. It doesn’t make sense for there to be a pizza delivery.
It parks in front of the Wheeler’s, and when you see who steps out, you drop the box you’re holding and run towards them. 
Will and El throw themselves around you, hugging you tightly. Dustin joins, and holding them again, having them here with you, makes everything okay for a moment. Your kids are okay, they’re safe. 
“Are you okay?” El asks you, pulling away slightly. Her eyebrows knit in concern when she notices the cuts on your face and how red your eyes are. “Did he get you?”
Somehow you aren’t surprised that she knows about Vecna. 
“I’m okay, sweetie.” Her hair is buzzed. Already you miss the long strands she once had. You don’t know what she’s been through this last week, but you hope, more than anything, that she hasn’t lost her kindness. “I-I’m okay.”
Your voice catches at the end, and immediately El understands that something else happened.
“We were worried about you,” Will doesn’t let you go. “When El told us what was happening, Jonathan almost lost his mind.”
Jonathan.
Hearing his name makes you remember everything. Instinctively your eyes find him. They always do. Jonathan has Nancy in his arms, but when he senses your eyes on him, he looks up at you. He will always be able to find you. Your heart stops, looking into his once familiar brown eyes.
Jonathan rushes towards you, as he always does, and his arms around you feel like home. 
“Bug,” he breathes against your neck, holding onto you tighter than he ever has before.
You melt when the nickname drips from Jonathan’s lips. It’s been so long since someone has called you that. It’s been even longer since you’ve held Jonathan like this. 
“God, what happened to you?” His eyes roam your body, catching on your bandaged shoulder and thigh. The cuts on your cheek. You try to ease his concern, grabbing his hands, but Jonathan starts to ramble. “We-we tried to get back to Hawkins as soon as we could. The second El told me you were in danger I–”
He inhales shakily, presses his face deeper into your neck. “All I could do to stay sane was think of your voice. Of our last phone call.”
You bury your face into Jonathan’s messy hair. You’re crying, but for what, you don’t know. His scent is bittersweet. His arms are reminiscent of what was once. You’ve missed him, but nothing will ever be the same again.
“I need to see her.” El’s raised voice causes you to let go of Jonathan. She’s standing in front of Dustin, arms crossed, and you know he’s told her the truth. “Take me to Max.”
“What’s wrong with Max?” Mike slings an arm over your shoulders, putting all his body weight against you in greeting. “Miss me, Henderson?”
You move his arm down, forcing him into a hug. You want to remember these next few seconds. The remnants of his childhood before it comes crashing down on him. “I did, Wheeler.”
Mike hugs you back, but when he sees the distress on El’s face, he lets you go and walks towards her. “What? What’s going on?”
Dustin is the one who breaks the news. Shamefully, you know it should’ve been you, but you haven’t been able to say Max’s name in days. There’s too much guilt, remorse, resentment that it hadn’t been you. 
It’s a mess of tears and panic when Dustin tells them. Will covers his mouth, holding back tears, while El storms inside the pizza delivery van as Mike demands that Jonathan take him and everyone else to see Max. They don’t believe any of it. El told them that she saved Max. 
“Are you coming, Y/N?” Jonathan holds his keys up. Everyone else, including Nancy, are already inside. A boy your age, you think his name is Argyle, waves at you from the passenger seat. 
So much has changed. Unable to form the right words, you shake your head at Jonathan. Yet even after months apart, he understands your unspoken words. You can’t see Max again. Not yet. It’s too soon, too much for you to bear.
Seeing her limp body once was enough. 
“We’ll be back,” Jonathan hugs you one last time, pressing a kiss to your hairline as he lets you go. “I promise.”
Steve steps forward then, wrapping an arm around your waist as he stands next to you. The two teens lock eyes, Steve gives Jonathan a cool, steely look. He remembers what you’ve told him. He remembers Jonathan’s words to you before everything collapsed. 
Sensing his anger, you squeeze Steve’s arm. Not here, you beg him. Not now.
Exhaling slowly, Steve offers you his hand. You take it, allowing him to walk you back to his car as the others leave.
– 
The donation center is packed. There are so many people inside, sitting on makeshift cots and pinning missing posters of their loved ones to a bulletin board. Nurses tend to the injured. Mothers cradle their children. The sight makes you ache. All these people, displaced by what they believe to be an earthquake.
You set the boxes down at the main dropoff table, and though the kind employee praises you for how organized the boxes are, you can’t help feeling that you should be doing more. 
In the hundreds of injured and grieving people you’ve seen, you’ve only noticed a handful of workers. 
“Is there any way we can help?” You ask the woman, looking around with a frown.
“Truly anything.” Robin says. “We just… we want to help.”
The woman seems surprised, and you wonder how rare it is for kindness to still be in a town that has known nothing but turmoil these last few years. 
You and Steve get placed sorting clothing while Robin is assigned to the food station. Dustin passes out cups of water for everyone. It isn’t much, but the work is meaningful and it eases the tension in your chest. 
“So…” Steve folds a t-shirt. “Can I ask about Jonathan yet?”
Picking up tattered jeans, you place them in the trash pile. “Might as well.”
“How do we feel about his sudden arrival? I mean, the giant pizza statue on the van was a little dramatic for me.”
He’s trying to keep the conversation light, which you appreciate him for, but you also know that Steve is doing this because he’s worried about you. And, you know, he’s unnerved seeing Jonathan. There’s still a lot left unsaid between you. 
“It’s… a lot.” You admit, struggling to find the right words to convey how you feel. “I’m relieved he’s okay, and I really am happy to see him again, but I… I understand, you know. If you’re upset.”
Steve scrunches his face. “I’m not upset, just… I don’t know. Annoyed with the guy.”
“So you’re upset.”
“Okay, no–”
“Is that Vickie with Robin?” You unintentionally cut Steve off, too surprised by the fact that mere feet away from you is Robin and Vickie making sandwiches together. And they’re laughing. “Are they talking together?”
Steve whips his head around, disbelieving, but lets out a low whistle when he sees Robin making easy conversation with Vickie. “Well I’ll be damned. Who knew our girl had it in her?”
The Jonathan talk lays forgotten as you and Steve admire your friend. You share a secret smile, remembering your own first awkward, bantering conversations together. There is so much pain in this town, and yet you watch as love still blossoms within it.
Across the room, you see Dustin talking to an older man. They’re deep in discussion and you notice your brother’s shaking shoulders. He’s crying. The older man is, too. You narrow your eyes, unsure if you should approach, but when Dustin hands the man Eddie’s old guitar pick, you realize who it is. 
“I’ll be back.” You kiss Steve’s cheek, excusing yourself. 
He tries to ask where you’re going, but you’re already gone. Your brother needs you right now.
Walking over, you stand to the side and allow Dustin and Eddie’s uncle some privacy. While there are so many things you want to say to the man, like how kind his nephew had been, how brilliant his mind was and how you’ll never forget the smile that never left his face, this is for Dustin and Dustin only. 
Eddie was his dearest friend. There is no greater loss than that.
Whatever Mr. Munson tells Dustin will be good for him; it will be the closure you can’t give him yourself. 
An arm wraps around you. You lean into the touch, knowing who it is without even having to look. You rest your head on Steve’s shoulder, exhausted, but content with the warmth he offers you. The two of you keep an eye on Dustin, ready to catch him in case he falls. 
Eventually Mr. Munson leaves, and you take his place next to Dustin. The second you sit down, the boy cries into your shoulder. Tears soak your shirt and your brother’s frail body shakes. “I-I had to tell him that Eddie died a hero.”
“I know,” your head falls against his.
“They’ll never know what he did for this town.” Sobs wrack Dustin’s body. “It isn’t-it isn’t fair.”
You rub his back, brush his hair out of his face. “None of it is fair, Dust.”
He cries even harder and you try to shield him from the world with your body. You try to block out the grief, the bitterness that follows death. How empty it can leave you. An emptiness that can swallow a person whole. 
You won’t let it happen to Dustin. 
“We’re gonna get through this together, alright? You and me, just like it’s always been. I promise–” Your words catch in your throat, tears forming in your own eyes. There’s so much you want to promise your brother, to swear that will come true, but you’re just as hurt and lost as he is. 
“I promise,” you make the words come out. “That everything will be okay. We’ll-we’ll be together, heal and do whatever we can to make everything okay. I-I’ll never leave you, you hear me? I won’t leave you again.”
Though Dustin still cries, his breathing slows. 
“Together. We’ll face this together.” As you talk, you notice a crowd of people swarming by the windows. They’re looking at something, staring and gasping. Your voice grows weak, anxious that something bad is about to happen. “It’ll… it’ll all work out.”
Dustin notices the crowd, too. He looks to you for answers, but you’re silent. You don’t know what’s happening. There’s a murmur in the crowd, hushed, urgent. It sets your skin on edge. Even more people get up now, some are even running outside, and every nerve in your body is screaming at you to run. 
Suddenly the room darkens, as if a giant cloud has covered the sky. Your stomach twists, and you get up, following after the crowd. Bodies shove each other, people blindly walk through the haze of whispers and uncertainty. 
When you step outside, all you see is ash.
The ash falls like snowflakes, beautiful and pure. There’s a softness to it, something delicate in the ruin it leaves. Dustin knocks against you, staring up into the sky with the same dread that you feel. The crowd is murmuring with glee, whispering excitedly about what they believe to be snow; but they’re wrong.
You’ve always won in the end. 
You’ve come to believe this to be a fact. You once told Steve that you believed you used up all your luck. Saving Will, closing the gate over and over again. The penance was the deaths from this summer for the greedy way you abused luck.
Steve had reminded you that there was still good leftover in the bad. That there will always be softness in the destruction, a reason for hope. That you will always find a way out, that luck and love were two sides of the same coin.
You’ve always won in the end. 
Yet, lost in the swarm of people, you watch as the sky begins to fall and Hawkins descends into the Upside Down. 
You no longer believe it.
[END OF SEASON FOUR]
-
⌑ series masterlist
⌑ if youd like to buy me a coffee ☕︎
⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3
452 notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 1 year ago
Note
i hope your finger’s ok!! please take all the time you need and remember you health comes first :) imma be selfish and send you a charles request cause ur writing makes me smile at my phone like an idiot and i can’t help it :p ok so!! charles x versteppen reader? shes max’s sister and drives for redbull (cause im delulu like that) and they’ve been fighting w each other since they were kids (no one knows why they started arguing they’re j petty and refuse to give it up even though they dk what they’re arguing abt anymore) and obvs they’re in love w each other - maybe another drivers flirting w her or smth and charles j snaps and hard launches the reader cause surprise they’ve been dating each other 🤭 holy shit this is long sorry for rambling 🙏🙏
angel baby, devil child | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x verstappen!reader
enemies to lovers blah blah blah
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 1,743,200 others
yourusername: crazy, crazy race. sorry not sorry to the tifosi, tell ur girl @charles_leclerc to kiss my ass not my rear tyre xoxo
view all comments
user1: okay they're clearly still in the enemies phase... when can we skip to lovers
user2: i personally love that charles is the mortal enemy of both verstappen siblings that's so slay of him
maxverstappen1: crop me out again and say goodbye to a tow in qualifying
yourusername: sorry maxy, not my fault i got all the photogenic genes xx
maxverstappen1: erm rude @christianhorner tell her to stop bullying me
yourusername: two can play at that game @sebastianvettel tell max to stop being a baby
user3: the way neither christian or seb replied they really don't get paid enough to deal with them
charles_leclerc: what is it with verstappens and their love for pushing me off the track
yourusername: what is it with your front wing and my rear tyre
charles_leclerc: umm i asked you first
yourusername: stop deflecting babe, we all know you love my ass so much you wanted a touch
charles_leclerc: i'd rather deep fry my hands than touch your rear
maxverstappen1: that can be arranged
user4: can't wait for these three to all be in the same press conference next week 🍿
carlossainz55: my favourite person to share the podium with
yourusername: thanks chilli (@tifosi you heard it here sainz is against ferrari 1-2s)
carlossainz55: NO that's not what i meant
landonorris: i see how it is ... god all men are the same AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU?
Tumblr media
maxverstappen1
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,204,809 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: happy birthday to my bestest friend, biggest rival and favourite roommate. though maybe now you're 23 you can get your own place so you can sneak out to meet up with your secret boyfriend on your own terms and can keep that massive ballsack away from jimmy and sassy. i love you and verstappen dominance 4 ever.
view all comments
user7: i love y/n but i think she should bring her cat to races as a scare tactic
yourusername: wrinkle doesn't appreciate your tone but it is duly noted
yourusername: awwwwwwwww i love you maxy !! and you're never getting rid of your little sister unless you get married and ur a big fat nerd so that's never happening xx
maxverstappen1: attacking me after i just bought you a whole ass car
yourusername: i JOKE. thank you soooo much and you'll never get rid of me you love me too much to anyway.
maxverstappen1: enough to finally introduce me to the mystery man?
yourusername: blocked.
user8: are we all just ignoring her doing her literal eyeliner with a knife?
user9: or the fact that max likely walked in and was like oh wait this is a sick shot
danielricciardo: oh no that was me, i'm still traumatised but it's probably the best photo i've ever taken
yourusername: easy to do with a model like me
charles_leclerc: wtf is that thing in the last one
yourusername: rude of you to think ur balls look any nicer
charles_leclerc: what?
yourusername: what?
user10: does anyone want to elaborate?
carlossainz55: happy birthday y/n !
yourusername: thanks carlos, thank you for the flowers 👍
user11: this is either their way of flirting or y/n really couldn't give a flying fuck about carlos' obvious crush on her
Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,098,560 others
yourusername: another trip around the sun and still following my brother around, difference is now i beat him x
view all comments
user16: your honour i am so obsessed with her
maxverstappen1: can't even be angry about it, you deserve the world
yourusername: you softy, i love you
maxverstappen1: also dummy i know who your boyfriend is now did you guys forget that we LITERALLY LIVE TOGETHER
yourusername: i was intoxicated my bad but we bought you breakfast?
maxverstappen1: literally the only reason he hasn't gone over the balcony, he might want to be gone before this hangover wears off
yourusername: noted.
user17: yall want to share with the class?
user18: based on ^^ this reaction i'm going to say it's not carlos
user19: watch out he'll drop a shit pick-up line in a second and be rejected
carlossainz55: hope you enjoyed your birthday beautiful
user20: bro this guy STINKS
user19: i told yall
yourusername: thank you carlos
user21: i'm sorry this is dry as hell it can't be carlos
charles_leclerc: my shoes will never recover, i'll be sending an invoice your way
yourusername: you're a millionaire boo, you can replace those tacky white trainers yourself
charles_leclerc: is having no manners a verstappen trait?
yourusername: come for max all you want, but the birthday girl? low leclerc
charles_leclerc: when you go low i go lower
yourusername: oh believe me i know all about you and going down
user22: DO YALL MIND?
user23: do they think we're dumb?
charles_leclerc
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by pierregasly, lancestroll and 1,204,674 others
charles_leclerc: a weekend without racing?
view all comments
user24: what is biden doing about the soft launch pandemic?
user25: well this is oddly timed ...
yourusername: you look like you'd have sweaty hands
charles_leclerc: wouldn't you like to know
yourusername: unlike all ur fangirls i've actually smelt you sweaty after a race so you can keep your hands to yourself
maxverstappen1: you heard her 🤨
charles_leclerc: why are you here? is this a 2 for 1 deal on annoying dutch people
yourusername: you can call him annoying all you want, but you love me don't lie
charles_leclerc: my lawyer says i shouldn't comment on that ;)
sebastianvettel: when will you two stop?
yourusername: sorry seb :(
charles_leclerc: sorry seb :(
user26: i know carlos is sick reading this weird flirting when y/n never comments on his pics
user27: she comes here just to flirt cause she didn't even like the photo
user28: she doesn't even follow him 😭
pierregasly: i love a slow burn as much as the next person BUT NOT WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS PICK UP THE PHONE
charles_leclerc: you're so dramatic, nobody knows calmar
maxverstappen1: he's lying i do
pierregasly: WHAT
charles_leclerc: by ACCIDENT i didn't tell him by choice
user29: so like, it's definitely y/n LOL
user30: oh no everyone get ready marca is going to run a story tomorrow about how charles leclerc is ruining carlos' career with psychological warfare by flirting with the girl he likes
user31: sainz sr about to wage war lol
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
charles_leclerc
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,304,889 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: i don't share. i love you. please follow me on instagram now (and let me come on max's jet) x
view all comments
user35: HOLY FUCK
user36: they're so fucking sexy my lord
yourusername: you're so weak, one teammate flirts with me and you hard launch, i've had 12 year olds use me as a face claim to pretend they're pregnant with your child
charles_leclerc: they took your face? i happen to quite like it, can they give it back?
yourusername: quite?
charles_leclerc: don't make me look bad you know i positively LOVE YOUR FACE
yourusername: and my ass since it's all you look at on track
charles_leclerc: okay you can drop the act now people know we're in love stop being mean to me :(
yourusername: but it's true, no?
charles_leclerc: rest assured i love your actual ass much more
maxverstappen1: believe me the people she lives with know WAY too much about how much you love it
user37: carlos sainz really thought he had a chance when these fools have been together for TWO years
sebastianvettel: congratulations you two, glad we don't have to watch you two trying to be subtle now
maxverstappen1: so wait when did you find out?
sebastianvettel: about two weeks into the relationship, they were very obvious
yourusername: thank you for keeping our secret dad <3
user38: y/n really said you ARE my grid dad
yourusername: oh no that's my actual dad
charles_leclerc: he's literally going to walk y/n down the aisle
maxverstappen1: please don't tell me you're engaged? i only just got over you actually being together
charles_leclerc: i'm not your brother yet don't worry (i will be soon)
carlossainz55: congrats guys
user39: it's okay bro you can cry
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,301,541 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: two years with the love of my life, still on max's side on val d'argenton x
view all comments
user40: they're disgusting (when will it happen to me)
charles_leclerc: we'll have to agree to disagree
yourusername: just admit it you love to push verstappens off the track
charles_leclerc: sorry babe as much as i love you, i'll never let you win x
yourusername: good thing i always beat you then x
charles_leclerc: either way victory sex still bangs
user41: yes, yes they're cute, but i need a full on play-by-play of how this relationship came to be
user42: i know these menaces were giggling and kicking their feet every time they had an argument in comment sections
yourusername: oh it was very fun
charles_leclerc: but the radio messaged are 100% real lol
maxverstappen1: thanks for having my back, you're welcome for all the gross pictures i've taken for you guys
yourusername: consider your payment like every meal i make us
maxverstappen1: well if i did it f1 would be down three drivers
user43: wait so does charles basically live with them now?
maxverstappen1: unfortunately yes. depressing music, even worse cooking than me and horrendously loud sex with my sister. i should kick him out
charles_leclerc: i literally bought you noise-cancelling headphones?
maxverstappen1: nothing you can say will save me from this trauma
yourusername: just shag daniel and get off of our case x
note: ahhhhh i am so sorry this request took so long, my inbox keeps moving stuff around lol. my finger is good thanks for asking, the human body is a wonder and i peeled off the last of my scab this week lol. i hope this was the kinda thing you were looking for !! xx
3K notes · View notes
luvyeni · 5 months ago
Text
I LOVE YOU ,, 서창빈
Tumblr media
pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ boyfriend!changbin x fem!reader wc. 1.5k
genre. smut , angst
𓄷 includes ... oral ( fem receiving ) , unprotected sex , binnie kinda rough
request. changbin, miscommunication/lack of communication on both ends, it’s a newer relationship, reader overhears changbin being rather rude talking about someone and reader assumes it’s about them, which leads to reader being closed off and the angsty part, but they make up bc changbin is determined to fuck some sense into reader
「 authors note 𖹭 」 i hope you like it , miscommunication trope isn't my best suit.
❪ masterlist! ❫
Tumblr media
you wer under the impression that you and your boyfriend were doing good; you'd been in a relationship for about 5 months now and sure you had a few insecurities; but changbin always said they didn't bother him and that he'd help you through it. you thought he was perfect, that you were still in the honeymoon phase— you wouldn't be meeting his friends at a party if you didn't plan on being with him for a long time.
so you could imagine the heartbreak you felt when you excused yourself to use the bathroom; only to return to hear your boyfriend talking about you; and not in the good way you'd hope. “they're so annoying, i told them not to come.” he said. “don't say anything when she comes back, she's just gonna get upset?”
you wanted to cry; you wanted to go home, you wanted to hit him over and over again until he felt the same way you did, felt the hurt you did. “yn did you find the bathroom?” chan asked , you nodded sitting down on the couch. “here baby.” the man you swore was your boyfriend handed you a drink , you pushed it away , shaking your head. “i don't want it.”
changbin was confused; this was something you normally drank, why didn't you want it? “i’ll go get you something else then.” you turned away from him, he got up, making his way to chans kitchen. “changbin is that you?” he internally sighed at the voice. “i've been looking for you all night.”
“i told you not to.” he said , the girl smiled. “c'mon binnie , you know you still miss me.” he rolled his eyes. “no i don't, i actually told you not to come.” her hand come up to his bicep. “i know your girlfriend isn't doing it right.” he felt himself getting angry, how dare she talk about you in such a way. “changbin?”
he pushed the girl away from him, turning to you. “baby.” he said. “is this why you didn't want me to come?” you scoffed. “so you fuck around with other girls?” he didn't know what you were saying, he invited you. “yn listen let's not make a scene.” he said. “let's go upstairs and talk?” you weren't having any of it. “take me home.” you turned away from him, walking to the door.
changbin barely had time to say goodbye to his friends, grabbing both your jackets, running after you. “can you slow down and just let me talk?” you turn to him with a huff “open the door.” you said coldly. “now.”
the ride back home consisted of him trying to talk and you telling him to fuck off; looking out the window until you got home, you got out of the car, slamming the door, not even bothering to wait for him as you went up to the apartment. “will you please just listen?”
“if you want to break up then go ahead.” you said flatly. “what, I don't want to break up, why are you saying this?” he said , following you into your bedroom. “oh really so you just tell people im annoying and you let pretty girls feel you up while I'm there for fun?” you began to pack all your things. “i’m leaving.”
he stood there trying to put it all together; until it clicked. “you heard what i said?” you scoffed. “yeah, i did.” you picked up your bag. “i'm leaving.” you walked past him, he grabbed your arm to stop him. “let me go.” he didn't listen, holding you. “no, you're gonna listen,” he said. “i wasn't talking about you.”
“yeah sure.” you scoffed. “i wasn't, i was talking about my ex, the girl who you saw touching me, i was talking about her , not you.” he said. “so you just let her touch you like that?” he shook his head. “i was about to push her away when you came over.” he was gently holding your wrist now. “you told them not to say anything when i came over , i heard you, what were you trying to hide?”
“i didn't want you to know , cause i didn't want you to be upset that she was there.” he grabbed the side of your face. “is that why you were upset?” he caressed your cheek, you nodded. “why? i told you before, there's nothing to get upset about, i love you.” he kissed your lips softly, pulling away, pressing his forehead against yours. “i wanted to hit you.”
he smiled. “you did?” you nodded. “you made me so mad.” he kissed your lips again, this time with much more hunger, you whimpered against his lips, he pressed you against the wall. “how many times to i have to prove my love to you before these insecurities go away baby, i'm here for the long run.” he lifted you against the wall. “do i need to fuck some sense into you for you to understand?” he lifted your shirt up and above your head throwing it, your skin was hot against his. “i guess that's what i have to do.” he smirked.
he walked you over to the bed; gently tossing you on the bed, ridding himself of his pants and shirt, climbing into the bed with you. “let's get you out of this.” he pulled your skirt down, leaving you in your bra and panties. “perfect.”
he wrapped your legs around his waist , kissing down your stomach. “b-binnie.” you moaned as he kissed your sweet spots on your stomach. “i’ve barely touched you and you're moaning my name.” he pulled down your panties. “this pretty pussy, i must be neglecting her so much haven't i?” he kissed your cunt. “made my baby feel insecure?” he licked your cunt. “fuck binnie.”
you yanked at his hair, pushing his head further into your cunt, grinding your hips up. he always ate you out like it was first thing he'd eaten in a while, he loved to get messy, the taste of your sweet pussy dripping on to his tongue, it was adding; he loved you, but he probably loved eating your pussy just a much.
“fuck binnie im gonna cum.” moaned, his hummed against your folds, holding your thighs open as you came, you desperately tried to pull his head away from your sticky folds. “binnie.” he hovered over the body, toying with your clit with his thumb. “you want me inside you pretty?” you nodded. “please binnie, i need it.”
he cursed, cock twitching in his underwear. “you need me baby?” he said, “you weren't acting like that earlier.” he gritted through his teeth. “ignoring me when i was talking to you, you think you deserve my cock baby?” you whimpered. “i-i'm sorry binnie.” tears wielding in your eyes. “you sorry pretty?” lining his fat cock with your entrance. “i can't say no to my pretty baby.”
he pushed his cock inside you. “fuck.” he groaned as you opened up, allowing him to push himself further inside your warm cunt, until he felt his tip bumping against your cervix. “so tight baby.” he pulled out, slamming back in , you moaned out in pleasure. “binnie!”
he lifted your hips up; fucking into you. “i told you over and over.” he cursed, sweat running down his forehead. “i love you and i would do anything for you.” he moaned. “and you don't listen.” he hit that one spot that had you seeing stars. “guess you don't really listen unless my cock is inside you baby do you?”
he fucking into like he had something to prove; he wanted to feel how much he loved you, and what you did to him. “fuck gonna go deeper baby.” he held your legs pushing them up into your chest, basically folding you in half as he stuffed cock into your, hitting a ever deeper angle. “yeah, fuck feel how deep i baby?” he cursed. “stretching your pussy out.”
“fuck binnie.” you screamed. “i'm gonna cum!” he stopped moving. “not until you tell me you love me.” he whispered into your ear. “binnie please.” you whined , your orgasm slowly disappearing. “baby.” he slowly grinded his hips, but it wasn't enough. “just say it baby and you can cum as much as you want on my cock.”
“i-i love you.” you stuttered out, he smiled. “i love you too.” he started his movements up again, he leaned in kissing your lips, red from biting them too much. “cum for me baby.” he felt you clenching around his cock. “binnie fuck!” your orgasm triggering his. “gonna cum baby , where can i cum?” you moaned out. “i-inside.”
he hissed, thrust becoming sloppy as he came inside you, his warm seed covering your insides, you sighed as he pulled out , his cum slipping outside of your hole, making him hard all over again. “think this pretty pussy can give me one more round?”
“you do know that i love you right?” he said after he finished massaging your body, climbing into the bed, hold you close to him. “you don't understand how much i love you.” he kissed the side of your head.
“and i’ll spend everyday proving it to you, even if i have to fuck it into you every single night.”
Tumblr media
©LUVYENI
468 notes · View notes