#and i wanted to die like dont be nice to me i am a fuckup!!! i dont deserve it!!!

[whsprings]

"erc can suck my dick!!!" I say as if my current situation isn't anyone's fault but my own

[rz-053]

i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want a life where people dont gt angry and me and snap an d yell at me for not communicating evffectively i want a world where people dont hate me when im trying to my fucking best i want to livin a owrld where i can get upset and be asked "are you okay" instead f being told "STOP, JUST STOP" I WANT TO FUCKING DIE I WANT TO FUCKING DIE I WANT TO FUCKING DIE EVERYTHING IS TOO EXPENSIVE I CANT GET A FUCKING JOB AND EVERYONE JUST DEICDES ITS MY FAULT LIKE IM SOME KIND OF FUCKING WORHTLESS PIECE OF SHIT WHO REFUSES TO TRY WHEN EVERY DAY I AM FIGHTING AND CLAWING MY WAY TO NOT JUST FUCKING KILL MYSELF OR THE PEOPLE AROUND ME THE MINUTE I GET OUT OF BED IM SICK OF EVERONE HAVTING ME WHEN ALL IM DOING IT TRYING TO GET THROUGH THE FUCKING DAY i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucking die i want to fucKING DIE I WANT TO FUCKING DIE I JUST WANT TO PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A GODDAMN WALL DRINK THE YELLOW METAL LOADED WATER OUT OF MY FUCKING BASEMENT SINK UNTIL I SCHOKE ON MY OWN VOMIT

MAYBE THEN PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ME. NAH, OF COURSE THEY WOULD.NT. EVERYONE HATES ME AND IM BETTER OFF DEAD EVEN MY OWN FUCKING MOTHER MY SIBLINGS DONT EVER FUCKING TALK TO ME UNLESS I TALK TO THEM FIRST IM JUST A FUCKING PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT EMBARRASSMENT HOW ABOUT SOMEBODY JUST FUCKING SHOOTS ME BECAUSE IM TOO MUCH OF A COWARDLY FUCKUP TO DO IT MYSELF

[chandlerlemons]

The truth.

I'm literally the most shitty person on the planet. I've heart everyone I've ever loved. I've ruined everything. I think about it constantly. I want to show people how sorry I am, but I cant. I didnt change when I needed too. I pushed everyone away. I should have gotten help. When I did it was too late. She had moved on. Everyone had. My friends dont talk to me and are better off without me. I bearly see the point in getting counseling anymore. Not that I can afford it anyway. It's not like it is going to fix things now. The only thing I ever do is go to work and school. I sleep all the time. I'm haunted by the shitty things I've done. I dream about it. I see people that know what I have done. They know I should die. If i would have just ended it when she told me... i know everything is over but I keep wondering what would have happened if I would have just admitted to myself how I felt. I would have saved everyone heart ach. Yeah I loved her, and I always will in some way. All I want to do it tell her I'm sorry for the stupid things I did. It caused problems with everything else after that. My friends resented me. I lost my best friend since middle school. I can bearly go anywhere without someone noticing me at the "cheater" or the "fuckup." I just want it to stop. I know I deserve this punishment and I'll always carry it with me. Nothing I could do would make it better. I've tried being really nice to people to make myself feel better for what I did. When that didnt make me feel better I became the worst version if myself... she always hated that... I felt like if I just got worse then it would make it easier on her to hate me, so if she still felt anything it would make it easier to get over me. It worked, but made me feel worse. I haven't told anyone how bad its getting again. They think I'm happy. I want them to think I'm okay. They all seem happier when they think I'm okay. I just want to find a way to let everyone know I'm sorry. I'm honest about what I did. I let people judge me for it. I know I'm a dick. I know I dont deserve to ever be loved by anyone again. Hell I'd probably just ruin it again anyway. I always do. I had the best one. Nobody was better than her. She was beautiful. Smart. She had the best eyes. When she looked at me I was filled with warmth and love. I'd never felt so amazed. When she kissed me I felt like I was floating. She had the best voice. I loved to sit in the car and listen to her sing. She was so passionate. Her hair was always perfect. She smelled like the most beautiful thing you could ever imagine. Even though I let her think that I didnt like it when she wore lipstick I always secretly loved it. She was being herself when she did. She was the most powerful women I've ever met. She never took anybody's shit. She always stranded up for what she believed in. I loved her freckles. They were like stars spread across her body. Her nose... don't even get me started on her nose. It was one if my favorite things about her. It was so cute. Her eyes though. Nobody I've ever seen had eyes like that. They were like waves in the ocean. I could look at them all day and never be bored. They were mesmerizing. Everything about her was. From the way that she snored to the way that she could pull me closer when I was having a bad dream. I liked to talk to her while she was sleeping. Tell her how much I loved her. I dont think I ever told her how much she means to me. I'll never forget the day that I almost asked you to marry me. I asked you how you felt about it and you lit up like a light. I wanted to ask you right then. I dont think you knew but I really wanted to ask you. The night of graduation was one of the best nights. You kept me calm. I felt safe. I think of all the wrong things that I had done. I didn't realize what I was doing then but I do now, and if there was anyway in the world I could go back and change it I would. I know I broke your heart, and for that I can never apologizes enough. 1 2 3...

[preyed-llama]

Please... skip this if you’re sensitive to world wide issues, because I needed to just talk.

There’s a high probability that at least one of your friends hate you. 45% of the population will suffer a mental illness in their life time. Space is unknown and we’re just a bunch of specks on a rock which are made up of 99% nothingness. Our world is being destroyed and temperatures are increasing. People die at an estimated 1 every 1 minute and 45 seconds just one, well off country. The education system is flawed, and the law system is unfair and biased. It all just feels... so hopeless, because we don’t matter. Give it a thousand years and there won’t be a trace of you left anymore. No more stories. No more facts. And if you do still exist, you’re bent so out of shape because of lies that your myth, your reason for still being remembered, doesn’t mean much. Because you won’t be remembered. It would just be whoever people need you to be. Natural disasters are raging the world and we can’t stop them! People are dying constantly and rare diseases are coming back. Our desperation to fix the common cold is making drug resistant diseases. One war could destroy our entire planet or fuck up the ecosystem because we now have nucs. The culling of animals is already destroying the ecosystem. The Great Barrier Reef is almost dead because there’s no more sharks to keep things in check and water pollution is making it hard for coral. Rainforests and ancient trees are being cut down for money or space. Populations are getting denser to the point where it’s causing problems. Overpopulation , like shown in the Mouse Utopia, tend to have horrific consequences. Those mice murdered each other! Abandoned their young! Formed gangs. It’s all too much. It’s all too hopeless. We can’t fix anything and everything is just getting worse. We are nothing in a space full of nothing, and at the end we will turn into nothing, there’s nothing we can do until kill time until we inevitably die. We’re just filling our time. We’re meaningless. Everything we do is meaningless...

Everything I do is meaningless. People notice when I don’t talk and worry about me, when I do talk I break a little more on the inside. I constantly feel like I’m suffocation but there’s nothing there and there’s no way to fix it. The stories I post are the only things I’m going to be remembered for, and even then. I won’t be remembered for me, I’ll be remembered for my work. Atoms are mostly nothing and atoms make up everything. People don’t care about me unless I feed their ego. Constantly told to shut up unless the words falling from my lips were about how great they are... how smart they are... about how much better than me, they are. Because no one cared about me. No one cares. I’ve always been seen as what they need ‘a perfect student’ ‘a perfect daughter’ ‘a scapegoat’ ‘a fuckup’, I was never just me. I don’t even know who I am. I don’t know what’s laziness and what’s depression, I don’t know what’s truth and what’s anxiety. I don’t know what’s me and what’s a lie that’s been forced on me. Because I don’t want to keep being whoever people need me to be. They called me creepy, so I’d be creepy. They’d call me moody, so I’d be moody. I’m not an actor, im just someone who lost themself to the character they were playing. I don’t speak because it hurts so much, because each word aches, and each time I’m ignored makes my throat close up and my eyes to water. And I don’t want to hurt myself, but I don’t want to hurt others by worrying them. It’s not their fault my anxiety is a dickhead. It’s not their fault I’m a fuck up. Because it’s true, I’m a fuck up. I call myself a writer, but I never write. I call myself a singer but I’m too scared to even speak. But there are five things that I know are true.

1. I am not nice, nor friendly. I’m a fuck up who hurts others and I’ll probably hurt others with this post.

2. I’m not smart. I’m just a fuck up too scared to fail.

3. I’m not interesting, I’m just a fuck up playing a character because I dont know who the real me is.

4. The shit people say about me behind my back is true, I’m a bitch, a cow, a cunt, a monster, a psychopath. Ive heard them from so many different people so many different times, and it’s highly unlikely that everyone’s lying. So.. I must be an unstable fuck up.

5. I am nothing, mostly nothing if you want to deal with literally. But I’m nothing, and I’m no one, and I’m nothing more than a tiny speck in peoples lives. I’m a fuck up, and is it really right for me to pretend I’m more than nothing. I’m lying to everyone that I’m worth something. Lying and praying that you don’t realise I’m worthless.

So I guess I’m just a fuck up.

[thelifetimechannel]

[obannthepunished]

well that backstory drop was everything that I had hoped for pretty much I took some pretty long notes imo?? (extra note: i take these for personal use theres just so much shite im sorry) Anyway I tried to transcribe most of the molly scene so its probably spelled like SHIT cause i was typing on one laptop and looking at the other

that outta the way, heres my notes from this week

Mollymauk knows Exactly whats fucking happening ((Additional later note: No he does not. Fuck.) "its lucien from two years ago" "this is my nightmare just go with it" (high pitched) "I'LlL eXpLaIn LatEr" So very very very stressed and panicky

Tabaxi: I'm sorry for using your old name. "Nonagon." Jesus CHRIST FUCKING MOLLY "we watched you die" Cree? Kree? Pronounced that way. Organisation name "Tomb Takers"

The gentleman: a (pale?) teal-skinned, dark haired character leather gloves + black hair (shoulderish length) "Perpetually sweating" ew lmao. dampness. (Uhhhh water genasi???? >This isnt canon just based on what I know?) Long table

Kree (sp) takes blood from them as collateral, can track with it? Beau to Fjord: ... Can I borrow a tusk

"Lets gamble" - The gentleman, gambling with Fjord 50 gold buy in, "If I win, you're mine. If you win, we do business." Bets up to 300gp each (600 total) Fjord wins. Oh jesus CHRIST. That was so stressful RIP the chance of me sleeping again.

Kara is there. shes been informing about the knights of requital

Molly + Beau associated with the murder of the high ricter. "I can make this investigation... go away (fwoosh)" " favour in kind" a wall with a purple light and an abandoned research facility. The Gentleman wants them to check it out. "Find a way in. Enquire. Seek and clear the space of any dangers. Hostile creatures. Return with any of your findings."

Nott "would you pass a test for us" two vials of alcohol, one of acid, reasonably the same colour. "this is alcohol. This is alcohol. THIS ONE is Acid." (drinks the fucking acid) (ooc excitement OOOOOH, THAT IS SO BALLER)

Beau (gives Kara a wink) (to Fjord) "Deal with that later" "Boutta say the same"

"Undead ghost things" and Taliesin and Ashley share just like a Look (Molly's thing is undead iirc??? and fiend? idk i need to do research)

Beau deliberately fucking up nonagon is very very funny. Nonotech. Nantucket.

A constant lucien stream of "we'll talk about this later" and "It's Lucien in this bar"

Yasha "i think im just looking for answers for something and i dont know if i recieved any more" Caleb insisting theres no pressure to tell them things when Nott is pressing for information. I love Caleb. Hes wonderful. Someone smooch him.

Caleb: we have been getting our hands dirty are you sure you want to get your hands dirty with us? yasha: thats all I like to do, my friend Lucien: It's a sight to behold! (followed by That Taliesin Grin. you KNOW the one.)

Yasha is from Xhorhas. I can't spell. You know what im aiming for lulu spell check it later. Southern parts of Xhorhas, not where the assassin(s) were from. Has been in the empire for "about a year and a half" ("when did i meet you?" to Molly.)

Hes so stressed. Its so wonderful. I love this.

They go to talk to Kara shes sharpening blades. She fuckin hates xhorhasians. So does the gentleman apparently. Worked for him for 8 years. relationship of convenience. "You got a nice face" - Beau to Kara. "Looks like we're in bed one way or the other" Kara jokes about working together Beau: I mean... Fjord: Leave that one alone. Leave that one alone. Beau: ...Okay.

Drop of the greatsword is "moontouched"?????

(re the xhorhasian longsword) It's taller than Nott Yasha: (in the voice when things are adorable) It's taller than Nott? Lucien: Many things are taller than Nott.

The ogre is 10 or 11 feet tall. Thats taller than my room. My room is only like 8 feet tall.

Caleb introduces himself with his full name. I dont think this has ever happened. EDIT: @madnessiseverything

caleb has actually introduced himself with his full name a few times if i recall. for example with the knights of requital (i think??) and back in trostenwald comes to mind immediately

I’m still learning to be an encyclopaedia again thanks friend Jester uses the wand of smiles. "Kutha" is the Ogre's name (Late afternoon they leave)

"dohecadoohickey"

theyre in Molly + Fjords room iirc cause Horus?(Sp) is in there (He leaves to Beau and Jester’s room wholst they talk)

Beau "i have dated way too many Luciens before" (Also applioes to marisha)

"why do you have so many names" "I woke up without any names or any past buried in the ground two years ago" "my firs memory my oldest memory is dirt in my face underground" Zone of truth is cast!!! Pass: Beau, Fjord Fail: Nott, Molly, Yasha, Caleb Molly has No Fucking Idea who he is. Gods the fandom called this. "some asshole got buried in the dirt. FUCK HIM." disassociates Lucien with Molly. Got more tattoos. days between waking up and the carnival. barely speaking. woke up alone. Cakeb: are you a good guy? Molly:..... I'd like to think so. "a few months after I came to, I started noticing I could do (blood hunter) things." (Ices a dagger) He really doesnt wanna know who he used to be. GOD I CALLED THE FLASHBACKS. A fuckup: Mollymauk finds someone in the group super attractive Yasha: "yes there are people here that i think are very attractive and charming but that doesnt mean I'll act on that." mollys just holdiong a glowing bedpost. radiant glow. "i am told, though i dont really remember this part, that I only said the word empty over and over for the first week" can you imagine how it would feel to not feel anything about anything that has happened to you so far? everyone but beau: no beau: yes. Molly:... why am i not surprised. "The Moonweaver"??? ooh son. "never trust the truth. Truth is vicious. The truth thinks that you owe it something. I like my bullshit. It's good, it's happy, It makes other people happy." "do you know who the moonweaver is?" "No." "Good. The swords are cheap carnival glass."

Moonweaver is elven deity, god over the night and shadow, music, not one of the approved religions. not a betrayer god, is inspiration for classic art, caretaker of evening trysts.

fjord: its you thats special, not your swords "i feel tinges of things on occasion. Nothing I like." "i may be a liar but I'm never a betrayer." Oooh molly actually somewhat believes in fortune telling. "I left EVERY TOWN better than I found it." Snake with red eye on palm and opposite side. Eye in floral arrangement. Crimson. Same place he bleeds on his neck in the peacock feathers. "i need to protect you snd myself from whatever that is. Its a wildcard." "I feel like youre fretfully ignorant and full of platitudes but I sstill like you" - Molly to Nott

oh on the undead again- it is Molly's thing, I was right. Wispy orb things haunt areas where they seek life force. Will-o-wisps. Thats hot. Lmao cause theyre often fire??? LMAO SON.

molly get suncomfortably close to fjord as he bonds with the new blade and puts hand on his chest "The power was in you... all along. SEE YOU AT BREAKFAST! :D"

Beau: (asks Caleb to buy her something sharp she can throw) DO NOT *FUCK ME* HERE CALEB, DO NOT FUCK ME. Caleb: ... Not interested, but-

"Zemnians dont tell jokes. They experience only pain." (OOC Sam its just funny)

Pumat Prime a little surlier than the others.

Yasha rocking that fucked charisma <3

Fjord BUYS THE FUCKING 800GP CLOAK? JESUS. Yasha pays 80GP (10gp discount) for 2 healing potions Caleb buys ink + parchment.

Yasha assumes Fjord's making fun of her awwwww!!! Hes being genuone complimenting her haggling skill bless.

Caleb is so 100% aware how FUCKING gay Beau is for yasha honestly. theres no way. (Additional later note confirmed in a gag mostly OOC, in character but not? in canon)

Beau playing the parental figure to horus, did you get everything? go pee one more time before you leave!

Molly sees guards and splits from the group to hide at The LEaky Tap.

they put a bag over Horus' head. its funny. Creepy card dealer gnome "dweeze"??

Beau and Caleb holdin hands. so fuckign adorable. "beau doesnt like me much." (beau holds him so he doesnt fall) ((NOTE @ ME this is a Good One. Think about it.)

Order in tunnel Fjord, Yasha, Molly, Jester, Beau, Nott, Caleb

"do you know how to drive a boat" Nott lmao

This weeks Nott stance from lulu: like 5/10 (About the same as last week)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Matte, bands,11:11, and coffee

• matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? •mm i don’t think so, i wouldn’t even really have much of a choice. i’d probably talk more and tell some people things—all good things though, just people who have really made my years by being exceptionally nice to me, funnily enough i’m not real friends with many of them tho so it’s not like its my place to talk to them all the time. maybe i’d find a way to make use of the couple hundo i have in cash• bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. •uh i havent really felt that intense a connection to anything in particular that i feel like anything changed my life or anything besides resulting in going to concerts or buying merch or something. i was really into kesha’s warrior album at the time of its release (still am b/c its essentially perfect) and it resonated personally because that was peak times of realizing how much i’d been let down and trapped by life and i felt very isolated and it was around the time i was being beat down and blamed so much that i thought i deserved to feel suicidal, whereas nowadays i am still suicidal as ever but not b/c i think i deserve it or i hate myself or anything. but i’ve always been stubborn as fuck so even then it felt like rebellious to want to enjoy myself and to embrace the parts of me that felt a right to be pissed off and want to yell for fun and for profit. and embrace the parts of my identity that was very real yet very different from the performance i had to put on for my parents re the very hollow idea they had of who i was. and since i felt like i really must be just a worthless fuckup, the idea of embracing that while dancing around in paint and glitter was pretty powerful. a lot of bits of that album resonated in real ways, but especially the tracks “warrior” and “all that matters (the beautiful life).” the thing with kesha’s music is of course its all abt partying and shit and ppl like to be like “oh her songs are all dumb and shallow but she’s smart coz she’s just playing along and thinks it’s ridiculous too” like idk why the idea of having a persona is so outlandish to some people but also...playing around and having a night out isn’t because you’re not smart enough to never have fun. i didnt expect to actually be having that kind of fun but it was a lot of fun to imagine that i had a place in partaking of something straightfoward and fun and playful. and look at me now, i’ve at least come to circling around self loathing enough to not care about others opinions of me and not hate myself at all. kesha slaps also, people think music can only be deep if its downtempo and acoustic and a gloomy white guy singer, or that listening to pop means you’re not smart or have shit taste, and those people are fuckin herbs• 11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. •ooh i dont know its always something i feel like is too complex and it’d get messed up, like wanting to restructure society or at least be able to have money magically appear to whomever i wanted it to. maybe i’d wish for my hair to naturally grow in my favorite color. and to have a bird friend. maybe a toucan or something. idk• coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? •i’ve never been much, i generally just get a mocha from coffee shops in general, ive gotten peppermint mochas and green tea lattes from sbux that i like. i’d let any old rando order for me, i absolutely dont care abt it

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 24

THE 04/02/17 UPDATE

Hey look at that, I’m bored and I can’t urge myself to close that act omega tab. You know what that means. I’m doing another part today, w o o o o o 

Alrighty, last time. Aranea showed up, and I reacted in a perfectly calm and orderly fashion. Let’s see where this goes!

Yup. Nobody’s happy. Put that grin away Aranea.

MEENAH: serket?? MEENAH: HOLD the GLUB up MEENAH: i thought you like MEENAH: got owned or w/e

She did indeed get owned or w/e. By you, in fact. You from another universe in which you became a giant hot troll wearing a goddamn skintight outfit.

Oh yeah, and she is currently destroying the hell out of the kiddo’s back at the lily pad.

ARANEA: ... Nice to see you too, Meenah.

Pssst.. it’s not nice to see you aranea...

ARANEA: Just as anxious to get to the point as ever. 8ut as per usual, I encourage you to exercise a 8it more p8tience. ARANEA: All your questions and concerns will be addressed eventually, I assure you. MEENAH: UUUGH MEENAH: i cannot B-ELI-EV-E this MEENAH: you go all crazy and try n pull off some ridiculous timeline divine intervention stunt MEENAH: prolly kelped actin like a hotshot all the way up to getting fuckin WAST-ED MEENAH: im out here thinkin i aint never gonna sea you again cause you got it in your head you had ta be the ultimate magnanimous blowhard just like your STUPID ALT S)(-ELLF MEENAH: AND T)(-EN MEENAH: you reappier outta NOW)(-ER-E MEENAH: lookin just as smug as you got no business bein MEENAH: and you tell me i gotta put up with whatever sanctimonious salmon youve prepared before i get any answers?!

LET ‘ER HAVE IT MEENAH. Can Aranea get the idea out of her head that SHE has got to be the one everybody looks up to? Because everytime she’s had an effect on this story, it’s made everything completely horrible. Honestly, she just tries too hard to be worthy of admiration. If she were like Vriska, she’d care more about doing what needs to be done instead of being admired by all. Merely because Vriska isn’t so dependent on the approval of others, and is happy with doing what needs to be done just so she can brag to herself and others. Alright, I kinda feel like getting deeper into this. How Vriska and Aranea differ and parallel eachother, because it’s a pretty thin line that doesn’t feel obvious. But here’s a very simple way of putting it:

Vriska wants to be the hero Aranea wants to be seen as the hero

Vriska wants to force dead weight to carry itself Aranea wants useful people to depend on her

I feel like that sums it up fairly well, really. Maybe I’ll start making sideposts of character analysis if I feel like getting deeper into these topics.

ARANEA: Sanctimonious what? MEENAH: OH MY COD I M-EANT S-ERMON

GET MAD MEENAH. IMPALE HER WITH YOUR POKEY FORK.

And here we find Porrim, in her natural state of “tired of everybodys shit”

PORRIM: Meenah. Yo+u might want to+ reel yo+urself in for a mo+ment.

S)(-ELL NO

MEENAH: >38( PORRIM: Maybe try to+ avo+id making the same mistakes as the yo+unger Serket.

DONT BRING VRISKA INTO THIS 

VRISKA: Excuse me???????? PORRIM: O+h, hush. Yo+u’ve spent far mo+re energy externalizing yo+ur frustratio+n than you+ have do+ing anything pro+ductive. PORRIM: We can o+nly take so+ much o+f this. We're here to+ try and do+ so+mething with o+ur afterlife o+ther than willfully subject o+urselves to+ its infinite echo+ chamber o+f teenage drama.

Porrim

porrim, baby

i love you, i do

but this is n o T JUST TEENAGE DRAMA? I mean, Aranea killed EVERYBODY.

PORRIM: I myself have had eno+ugh o+f that fo+r at least two+ lifetimes. PORRIM: So+ if either o+f yo+u are ultimately o+nly go+ing to co+ntribute to+ the endless caco+phany, rather than fo+cus o+n getting results, I suggest yo+u mo+ve it to+ so+me o+ther bubble. PORRIM: If no+t, then co+nsider jo+ining the rest o+f us in seeing what Aranea might have to+ o+ffer to+ o+ur cause. ARANEA: Why, thank you, Porrim. That was very eloquently put. I promise you won’t 8e disappointed. ::::)

Goddammit Porrim, you gave her a reason to be smug. Just because Porrim is tired of the arguing, doesn’t mean you’re somehow at all justified in anything you’ve ever done ever.

ok im salty

PORRIM: Hmmm. We’ll see. ARANEA: Really, I was well prepared for my reappearance to cause something of a stir. It’s completely understanda8le to want an explan8tion.

UUUUUGHHhfadjnkms SHuuut uppp

ARANEA: I’ve 8een lying low for quite a while now. Gathering inform8tion, drawing conclusions, revising and perfecting plans... All of which will certainly prove invalua8le for you all in your current predicament! ARANEA: It really is a shame you’ve landed yourselves in such a 8ind! It was ultim8ly inevita8le, 8ut unfortun8 all the same. ARANEA: Isn’t it lucky, then, that I’m here to put this tr8n 8ack on its tracks?

Im gonna die from salt poisoning help

PORRIM: SIGH...

SIGH...

PORRIM: If yo+u have any interest in keeping that pro+mise o+f yo+urs, I suggest yo+u skip the preamble.

Thank you Porrim. I’m trying to find somebody to latch onto here, but everybody is starting problem’s n s t uf f . 

Everybody looks so

VRISKA: Hold the fucking phone! Why should we listen to ANYTHING you have to say?

YOU sHOULDN’T

VRISKA: Your track record isn’t exactly stellar! And from what I’m seeing right now, you haven’t learned from your colossal fuckup one iota!

WOAH, VASKA... who the hell says iota????

VRISKA: I have a8solutely ZERO interest in letting the same washed up has-8een whose mess *I* had to clean up waltz up here and act like she’s my goddamn s8vior!!!!!!!

YEAH TELL HER VRISKA! EVEN THOUGH IM PREEETTY SURE YOU DID NOTHING AND TEREZI DID EVERYTHING...

And, oh god my memory of the timelines and stuff are getting me confused. I’m sure I’m probably wrong about this, but y’know what I’m gonna talk about it anyways. Would this Vriska really even know about Aranea? I mean, she didn’t die, so... maybe just in her dreams or something. or. gdi im confused.

ARANEA: Come now, Vriska. You of all people should know that there are 8etter times to choose for throwing hissyfits!

This isn’t a HISSYFITS. This is clear and rational thought. And I don’t get w hY NOBODY ELSE IS QUESTIONING THESE THINGS.

ARANEA: And 8esides, what a8out your little plan? We can all pl8nly see how well that turned out. You were smacked down just as unceremoniously as I was, so don’t act as if you’re suddenly the only person who can pull their own w8 around here.

Yeah, but you know what? Her plan didn’t revolve around dooming EVERYBODY. Her plan had essence of COMPETENCE.

ARANEA: You may 8e incredibly stu88orn, 8ut you can’t 8e so foolish as to dismiss common sense purely for the s8ke of your ego. I’m your 8est shot at m8king it out of this alive. While your army was 8eing eradic8ed, I was 8usy uncovering the truth. ARANEA: If you would just allow me to expl8n, perhaps you could finally reg8n your wits and 8e a8le to focus on what TRULY matters.

oh god i hate her h e l p.

pLEASE.. DOUBle DEATh HER.

VRISKA: I already HAVE my wits! And I was just a8out to use them to whip this 8unch of losers into sh8pe 8efore YOU and your 8loated delusions of grandeur showed up! ARANEA: Is that what you were a8out to do? I never would have guessed. Considering from my perspective, you were in the middle of some sort of mental 8reakdown 8rought on 8y 8eing utterly incapa8le of comprehending the magnitude of your own failure!

At least she DAMAGED HIM. SHE INFLICTED SOME FORM OF HARM TO THE UNKILLABLE GOD TRYING TO FUCK THEM OVER. You literally just got everybody killed with no positive result, you cannot claim that you are A N Y better than her.

ARANEA: If you had been p8ying attention, you might have t8ken note of when I mentioned that this outcome was inevita8le. There was hardly anything I could have done to prevent it. YOU, on the other hand... ARANEA: The mishap with your dice could easily have 8een avoided if you had simply realized how thoroughly outmatched you were. Did you actually try your little luck-stealing trick on LORD ENGLISH?

FIRST THE  F U C K OF ALL... If this outcome was inevitable, then that literally makes EVERYBODY IN PARADOX SPACE JUST AS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DISASTER. NNGH YOU CANNOT PIN THIS ON VRISKA JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK BETTER

VRISKA: Yeah! I did!!!!!!!! That’s kind of what I DO? VRISKA: 8ut... it didn’t WORK. ARANEA: Tsk, tsk. Of course it didn’t. Lord English is hardly on the same level as the 8lack king, or the myriad low-level imps, hapless trolls, and pitiful ghosts from which you’d previously acquired your ill-gotten fortune. Your a8ilities aren’t even close to developed enough to stand a chance against such an opponent! ARANEA: 8ut say, I think that perhaps we can strike a deal. We all know that time has 8een kinder to me in that I’ve had enough of it to refine my powers considera8ly. 8etween the two of us, I am clearly the superior Hero of Light.

. . . . . . . . F U C K Y O U .

Can’t deal with this. Can’t TAKE this girl’s superiority complex.

God im turning into the human equivallent of a salt shaker.

VRISKA: Oh, yeah. Sure. 8ecause I’m totally interested in whatever 8ogus “deal” you have to offer. Especially when you phrase it like THAT! ARANEA: And yet you don’t deny truth of my words. A smart choice. VRISKA: Are you going to w8ste time gloating, or actually get to the point?! ARANEA: My point is that I would 8e more than happy to lend you my services. Allow you to maximize your potential in a more... expedient fashion, given the sizea8le constraints we are currently under. ARANEA: All you would have to do is ask nicely. May8e even apologize for raising your voice? A little more respect and deference would 8e appreci8ed as well. ARANEA: What do you say? A deal is a deal? ::::)

GOD. DAMN IT I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS. I REALLY REALLY R E A L L Y HATE HER. NOBODY WANTS YOUR HELP. Oh god this is turning into the worst liveblog ever, B U T SERIOUSLY I HATE HER AND THAT IS LITERALLY ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW.

VRISKA: How a8out this: I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!!!

YEs. PRECISELY 

OHFUCKHIKANKRI

KANKRI: *PHWEEEEEEEET!!!*

...

O k you know what. For once, I’m actually happy about Kankri existing. That fuckfest needed to end.

And jesus. I need to calm myself down.

Oh god poor Mituna is freaking out.

KANKRI: I think that is QUITE en9ugh 9f that f9r n9w. While I n9rmally endeav9r t9 enc9urage c9nstructive de6ate in the interest 9f inf9rming the ign9rant masses, this argument has 6ec9me far t99 pr96lematic f9r me t9 all9w it t9 c9ntinue!

Gdi I haven’t even read it yet, but it already hurts to look at.

Alright. So yeah, this is getting out of hand and he’s putting a stop to it with his space jesus powers.

KANKRI: There isn’t nearly en9ugh time f9r me t9 g9 9ver all 9f the deeply distur6ing c9mments disparaging n9t 9nly the magically disadvantaged, 6ut the mentally challenged, which I have just 69re witness t9. S9 I will settle with 6riefly chastising y9u 69th f9r y9ur cavalier disregard 9f y9ur inherent privilege, and enc9urage y9u to 6e m9re aware 9f h9w the nature 9f y9ur w9rds might affect the very imp9rtant feelings 9f pe9ple that aren’t here.

And people that ARE here. Like, you know. The mentally challenged Mituna right behind you. Though I’m pretty sure you’re speech his having a worse affect on him than they are. Also, how the hell did they even offend any mentally challenged people??

LATULA: ummmmmm, l1k3, not to b3 UN-r4d or wh4t3v3r, b3c4us3 th4t 1s TOT3S not my styl3, LATULA: but m1tun4 1s l1k3, R1GHT h3r3??

Thank you Latula, the poor guy is dying at all these words.

KANKRI: He is?

Oh my god Kankri, seriously? Were you too busy ogling at Latula to realize that their were handicapped people who needed defending in the area?

MITUNA: 1 H4T3 Y0UR FUCK1NG W157L3 KANKRI: 9h. Right, 9f c9urse. My mistake. Ap9l9gies, Mituna. I h9pe y9u d9n’t mind that I have taken it up9n myself t9 help speak 9n y9ur behalf, c9nsidering y9ur vari9us issues with speaking at all.

kANKRI. that is not how you speak to handicapped people. Is he just salty that he’s dating Latula? Yeah. he’s totally salty about latula.

MITUNA: UM KANKRI: Exactly. Y9u’ve 6een rendered n9n-ver6al 6y the sens9ry 9verl9ad caused 6y all this unnecessary sh9uting. Which makes the wh9le thing w9rse, really. Right, Mituna? MITUNA: WHY 4R3 7HR33 S0 M4NY W0RD5 MITUNA: 175 4LL MITUNA: 8UZZ1NG LATULA: dont worry 4bout 1t b4b3! 1ts 4lmost ov3r. MITUNA: 5H0U71NG 4ND MITUNA: 5TUP1D 8ULG3 WH1FF1NG WH157L35 MITUNA: FUCK

Latula is literally the best supportive girlfriend. Is she gonna cover his ears for him next?

KANKRI: Even m9re sincere ap9l9gies, Mituna. Even if the use 9f the whistle was vital in the c9nstructi9n 9f y9ur safe space, I understand that it did upset y9u and that y9ur feelings 9n the matter are valid. KANKRI: 6ut thankfully, and despite the unf9rtunate side effects, it did its j96 9f helping 6ring every9ne t9 their senses. KANKRI: Really, this wh9le thing c9uld have 6een av9ided if y9u 69th had just listened t9 P9rrim's advice. PORRIM: O+h. PORRIM: Kanny, did yo+u just... AGREE with me fo+r o+nce? KANKRI: ... KANKRI: I 6elieve I have asked y9u several times n9w n9t t9 call me that!

what has this devolved into? What is this BICKERING. Can anybody remain on the same page for more than two sentences? Honestly, I’m surprised Lord English hasn’t just killed them all yet.

AND HERE THESE TWO ARE, indifferent as always.

SOLLUX: (well.) SOLLUX: (this is pr0bably the worst clusterfuck i have ever had the f0rtune 0f n0t seeing.) SOLLUX: (are y0u sure we can’t just leave?) SOLLUX: (as if whichever smug fuck that ends up running the idi0t brigade is g0ing to s0lve 0ur impending d00m. it’s alm0st starting t0 feel like the wh0le pirate crew bullshit all 0ver again.) SOLLUX: (except s0meh0w even m0re 0f a catastr0phe.)

Sollux, there’s one thing you’re forgetting. The pirate ship was a disaster, yes. but now you have one KEY FACTOR that will lead you all to victory. The power of F R I E N D S H I P. Can’t you just feel all the good vibes radiating off of these assholes?

ARADIA: (we cant go yet sollux!) ARADIA: (i have no intention of leaving) ARADIA: (and while i understand why you may want to this time it really is somewhat imperative that you stay) ARADIA: (we all have a part to play in the preservation of reality) ARADIA: (a mission which is even more critical now than it has ever been!)

Alright, so this team’s objective “SAVE REALITY” Team lilypad’s objective “DONT.. DIE” Team Lowas’s objective “THERAPIZE ERISOL”

SIMPLE ENOUGH.

oh god i just remembered Calliope already died and that’s s A  D ...

SOLLUX: (ugh. really?) ARADIA: (yes!) SOLLUX: (s0 i’m like. imp0rtant s0meh0w?) ARADIA: (does it help you feel better to think about it like that?) SOLLUX: (... kind 0f? bizarrely en0ugh.) SOLLUX: (where did that c0me fr0m all 0f a sudden?) ARADIA: (i couldnt possibly tell you) ARADIA: (but what i can tell you is that i think this brief setback will be over soon) SOLLUX: (fine, if y0u say s0.)

All setbacks can be overcome with enough  TIME. HAHA.... TIME JOKE. The hell am i doing with my life.

Oh shit is Davepeta here to drop some calm bombs on the group?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < man this is just getting sad DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but guess i oughta toss my two cents into this clusterfuck DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < beclaws honestly i KIND of agr33 with vwiskers a little? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my subconscious is clawing at me that we totally cant trust aranea at all ever

THANK, you. 

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < cause shes seriously bad news DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i dont have any real concrete memories or anything to support it but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i dunno! thats just how i f33l DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < meow on the other paw DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < we kind of are in some purrty hot water DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and i ALSO have the conflicting f33ling that whatever info she has fur us will be impurrtant DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so if anything we should just hear her out DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so long as you dont try to pull anything fishy!!

SIGH... I G U E S S. It still feels horrible to even let her get a word in, just because she’s literally gonna act like every useful information she gives is worth everything, and they have no right to blame her for anything.

ARANEA: Er... ARANEA: Thank you for the endorsement. And the warning, I suppose. ARANEA: If there won’t 8e any further interruptions? MEENAH: yeah sure fine whatever MEENAH: but u beta believe im gonna be gilling you later ARANEA: I look forward to it.

I’m gonna hope that was a fish pun, and what she meant was ‘killing’

TAVROS: i THINK VRISKA LOOKS LIKE, sHE IS READY TO STOP SHOUTING, TAVROS: sO WE CAN BEGIN LISTENING, TAVROS: wHICH IS GOOD, bECAUSE I AM VERY CURIOUS, TAVROS: eSPECIALLY SINCE, i SORT OF, aLWAYS LIKED YOUR STORIES, aRANEA, TAVROS: wHEN THEY DIDN’T RUN TOO LONG, aNYWAY,,,

N O B O D Y A S K E D Y O U  T A V R O S

putthatfuckingsmileaway

ARANEA: Don’t worry, Tavros. I will try and keep this as 8rief as possible. ARANEA: While also ensuring all vital inform8tion and context is provided, of course. ARANEA: Now, allow me to 8egin...

...gjdkgfignjfij

conflicting feelings about everything here. Alright. WELL, that is the end of this update. you can listen to my whine a bunch on the next part. SO. yeah.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

aight

lets ends this

-

i love that he's still trying to cheer her up with her terrible crossover idea

phoenix is such a sweetie

-

“...so we may put this dead lawyer walking out of his misery”

hear hear 

just kill me already

-

“she's now slain two high level clergymen...”

one of which was a confirmed rebel but HEY whatever ITS NOT LIEK YOU KILL THEM IN GENERAL ANYWAY

who gives a fuck this trial is janked

-

“bahlgilpo’kon hell- the realm of eternal agony”

wow eternal agony is the bottom hell??? thats like the first hell in dante’s hells; youre soft as runny shit kooraheenism.

-

“there she will suffer the endless punishment of ja’gar by the galuun of Puhlmo’ten.”

SUBTITLES PLEASE 

-

he was killed during the rite but they only found his body like two days later?!?!

what the fuck!?

...and wait a fucking second, he wasnt there when we were fucking investigating BULLSHIT

BUUULLLLLSSSHHHIIIIIIT!!!

-

two consecutive murders constitutes a serial killer??

-

every time sadmad sighs and shakes his head i lose a year of my life

-

Rayfa’s voice is so fucking unfitting; she’s got the voice of a 30 year old woman and she’s supposed to be a whiny-ass 14 year old

do these people know anything about casting??

is it really that hard to get a 14 year old to say a few lines? i was voice acting (not professionally obvs) when i was 14. i sucked, but i was doing it, and there’ve been younger kids working on real shows.

anyway 

-

welp looks like this mcfuck is using a fake name

someone get on that

-

I'm sorry you’re surrounded by such incompetence, Rayfa. and i mean that. i like you now, youre kinda funny.

-

phoenix: plus, yesterday, someone told me how the divination seance used to work

phoenix fucking sucks at keeping secrets jesus christ holy fuck just SHUT UP ABOUT THE REBELS YOU MORON

-

if he says let it go and move on again I'm going to fucking scream

-

“haha! the police overlooked the clergy tattoo on the back of his neck!”

directly below the stab wound. the clergy tattoo. that has significance in their country.

Why do the Kooraheen Police suck so much ass? They can’t catch a running suspect, and apparently they’re all blind.

-

HOW DOES THE JUDGE NOT FUCKING KNOW A RELIGIOUS SYMBOL FROM HIS OWN FUCKING RELIGION?!?!?

-

[insert nahyuta eats (peach emoji)ass joke]

-

“aren't they utterly different shapes?”

...a... peach... and an upside down peach?!

nahyuta 

im gonna blow your mind

this is called a handstand, here, do it with me

-

lazy ass parents naming their kid “real name”

fuck this joke country

this is some ‘who's on first’ bullshit

-

RAYFA LUSTS FOR BLOOD

-

yeah it was freezing on that mountain, of course your estimate was wrong.

i knew this was coming...

-

hebLINDED HER WITH SCIENCE

BEEP BA BOO BA

-

“this article is small in size but huge in importance!”

just like my d––

-

How... did this work? They did a great job of hiding that wound...

also no blood at the “scene of the crime”

yeah not suspicious at all

-

once again the prosecution blames the detective for something they couldn’t have helped :/

GUARD YOUR ASSHOLE EMA, GUARD YOUR ASSHOLE

HOLY SHIT

INSERT REFERENCE TO ABOVE PEACH JOKE

-

loud ass clock inside a secret hideout? good one, rebels. super well done.

-

ahhhh

now that is clever. i like that

although, considering the length of that statue’s beak, he should’ve been impaled right through his body, so.....

you were close, SOJ

glad to see more clever twists though. 

-

game ruins everything with blatant hints

-

there are other cases where they can tell when two weapons have been used on the same wound

why cant they tell now?

-

stone sharp enough to cut skin??

-

your hideout is fucking death trap

good going rebels

-

youre using serial killer wrong... again

-

thats a lie, nobody likes swiss cheese

-

LAY OFF CHEESE YOU PIECE OF SHIT

ILL RIP YOUR ASS OUT

-

“what you said is total bullshit!! heres what happened; this, this this. and since I said it ,its true! without any proof!!! SO THERE”

-

phoenix: VALID POINT!

sadmad: bullshit excuse

judge: sounds legit, overruled!

-

“jeez just toss me an Axe if its that bad...”

-

“plotting your escapee from this sacred hall?”

yeah well just run out

-

“you would pin a crime upon the dead, who you know tell no tales?”

uh

did you just forget the whole

soul pool thing or

are you just stupid

-

aw baby here we go

-

stop saying 30% you dont know shit

-

oh my god

whoa whats he doing with the magatama

-

“wait... i think i saw something just now...”

what, phoenix

what did you see, hmm?

-

“the power of prayer! yes... it uh... helps you... install listening devices in your secrets base uuhhhhhh...ITS NOT WEIRD

-

“She has a way of putting me at ease...”

(weeps) my babies

-

(sigh) its the wife, get on with it

-

“long years of ascetic training have sharpened my ears”

god the training is more useful to Athena than it is Maya. this is depressing.

-

make like a mollusc and clam up??? who says that???????

-

boy you sure fuckin suck at this Mr. Inmee

-

judging by that KAAHHH Tahrust should have a deep voice, and DD had a deeper male voice blip... why aren't they using it? they've already implemented singing blips and tutting blips, did they forget about the extra deep blips?

or are those reserved for demons?

he is a ghost...

-

...how far along is behleeb anyway? either I'm blind or the sprite artist forgot to give her a baby bump.

hey yeah! she's barely pregnant! her character art shows that! so its not so much of a stretch that she could be running around killing rebels. Plus, she hasn’t been pregnant for two years...

...of course, its not her, it’s rUHEEL NAYMUH, but still. she’s not far along enough to be inconvenienced by her child. 

-

potato potahto tomahto egg salad!!

stop praying at me, nahyuta.

-

dont you fucking dare...

dont you even fucking dare

-

THEY DARED

I SWEAR TO FUCK

i swear to fuck 

so. youre gonna blame maya. for the actions. of YOUR OWN GODDESS. 

WHO’S GREAT AND POWERFUL AND MYSTICAL AND WISE AND PERFECT.... UNLESS SHE’S BEING CHANNELED BY A DIRTY FOREIGNER?

i just i cannot express how angry this makes me. it doesn’t make any fucking sense and it’s complete and utter hypocrisy. it’s even worse than before;  before they were suggesting that the person dressed as Lady Kee’ra was killing rebels in her name, if it wasn’t outright her. Now they’re suggesting it was LITERALLY HER, and remember, these people are UBER RELIGIOUS, and they still have a problem with THEIR IMMORTAL GODDESS IN THE FLESH exacting her divine punishment against people THAT ARE HARMING THEIR COMMUNITY ANYWAY???

yes, vigilantism is dangerous. but it gets a little more fucking complicated when you suggest that it’s the legit actions of an ACTUAL GODDESS.

and even if this is the corrupt government just trying to cover up deaths (which it is) why didn’t they just step in and go “Yeah, another Lady Kee’ra murder. All hail the marvellous goddesses. er diarrhoea kooraheen.”

it would be a lot easier and a lot less messy than taking a kid to court. why do they even want Maya out of the way, anyway? She didn’t know any of the rebels, and she posed no threat to their corrupt government. Yeah, Zealot’s dead, but they literally could have just hired another crazy assassin. 

Unless there’s a REAL GOOD FUCKIN REASON for all of this, I call bullshit, bullshit bULLSHIT

-

i think it’s time to let your head go and move on to another room sadmad

at the same time

-

...plus they legit just forgot their own lore.

maya can’t summon Kee’ra if she doesn’t know what she looks like.

that was so easy i didnt have to even press on statements; thats how easy that contradiction is. thats how easy it is to remember something stated five minutes ago, and how easy it is to remember how your own religion works. you fuckhats.

-

oh hey i just realized Tahrust really does call Behleeb his “lovely wife” 

aw. how nice. if only they didnt decide to scapegoat maya.

doesn't matter your intentions; you die if you scapegoat maya. you die by my blade.

-

you ok pal. is an alarm clock really the source of an evil laugh.

-

“indeed! we leave the alarm switched off at all times!”

why would you even have a clock with an alarm on it in a secret base anyway?? and how did phoenix manage to play it in the hideout if the alarm was switched off? 

-

“those distinctive taiko drums”

fuckin’ finally

ive been waiting for that stupid watch to come back for AAAGEES

of course there was a reason maya would mention traditional japanese instruments...

-

y’know it’s funny that he would even make that fuckup in the first place. if he’s a plumed punisher fan, he should know how the theme song goes. his wife was at least a big fan, meaning he’d probably have heard the opening enough times to know that Taiko drums weren’t part of it. Furthermore, if he was banking on the fact that the two themes sound similar to pass off the deception, then it was a huge mistake on his part to define the sound as Taiko drums; thats just a needless detail that could get him caught out, which it did. 

and if he just didn’t know, well... again, useless detail. always bad. always be vague if you wanna get away with shit.

-

ah... at least in death, Raheel Namer didn’t have to suffer the Plumed Punisher theme song.

-

i love that phoenix refers to the show by it’s full title. that’s adorable.

-

now what’s really confusing me is that that Photo of the fam is stated to have been taken during the Feast of whatever. Which is the same time-frame as Reely Real Name’s death. He’s alive in the photo, Behleeb is in the photo, and the Judge and his family are nowhere to be found. But all those things were huge parts of the case, and they couldn’t have eaten before or after because of the whole ‘you can only eat Ghingil for three hours on that one special day’.

am I missing something or going nuts??

that said I'm so glad i can finally present this photo. it’s been gnawing at me as much as the watch thing.

-

“trademark topknot”

-

OH PLEASE JUST LET IT END

ffjglk dlg ljlgkd   hey Tahrust do me a solid and just tell them how you died ok 

please i have a family

i have stomach ulcers

-

oh

off-brand logic 

i totally forgot that was in this game too

-

wow.

“hmm, there’s really nothing to suggest a murder other than the red water in the spring, which only Maya would see and probably not question (considering this isn’t her religion and she doesn’t fuckin know how that shit works) and said spring probably empties somewhere, since it would be swampy otherwise. let’s see... i can KILL MYSELF TO GIVE THE RED WATER A REASON FOR EXISTING or do literally anything else... WELP, BETTER FUCKIN KILL MYSELF. ALL HAIL THE REBELS!”

...well at least he saved maya from contracted a blood disease.

-

tahrust must be pissed that his death came to naught when his own rebel pals gave the secret key to a guy who sold them out in five seconds.

never gets to meet his child... never gets to see the revolution come to fruition... never gets to live happily with his family... all because he couldn’t think of any other solution to protecting that shitty hovel behind a rock.

kinda tragic.

wish i was less angry

-

“there was no weapon at the inner sanctum...”

did everyone just forget the giant bloody murder statue???

-

pohl’fuckya sadmad

-

babe... oh no... don’t give yourself up like this

thats sad

dont 

i feel the sad now

shit

-

“abbot inmee!! summon a physician at once!!’

HES DEAD

WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT WITH UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY DUMBASS

-

“but murder sanctioned by the crown is still murder”

what’s murder sanctioned by a goddess? apparently you guys are ok with that one. oh unless it’s a goddess being channeled by a foreigner.

soerry im bitter about that one moving on now

-

he lunged at you from behind the stone slab?? nice trajectory moron

-

hang on a second he put reereenaymee’s body in the plaza before prayer time... with the dagger still in him??

HOW DID NOBODY NOTICE THE FUCKING DAGGER

-

“you need not frame the accused for your crime”

for once Sadmad says something smart

-

honestly... suicide really wasn’t the answer. even if it was to protect your wife there were,,,,, so many other options

for example, realname’s last moments, as we saw, made it look like he was killed in the Plaza of devotion. You could have so easily made it look like he was murdered there, by some rando, during the rite. The kooraheen police fucking suck at their job, so it wouldn’t matter. but no; you had to die, and blame Maya.... because she was foreign. A foreigner who came to you for guidance and shelter. 

-

STOP AGREEING WITH ME SADMAD, I DONT LIKE YOU

-

“You must use your law powers to make sure no more innocent people suffer under this shitty law!!

...like Maya did!! .......because of me!!

-

i love that the excuse is like “there’s no way she could prove it was self defence in this government...” to make it all tear-jerking and point out how horrible and corrupt their legal system is...

...and yet, if we remember Reunion and Turnabout, which also included channeling and self defence... It was EQUALLY impossible for Maya to be cleared of the crime on self-defence charges!!

pot calling the kettle black, japanifornia!

-

“lol sorry for almost getting you killed cause i couldn't think of a better plan than kill myself”

yea thanks tahrust, coo-al

-

“I ask that you look after my wife”

er she’s... going to jail... she’s... been outed as a rebel... you do get that right

-

fuck you Tahrust, you made her cry

-

“now you can watch over me from the world beyond”

he cant actually, since they retconned spirits being conscious in the afterlife. good going, capcom.

-

oh man that cutscene was goofy. except for the crying

fuck you Tahrust

-

Maya: :D hOW y'all doin?!

also according to maya Tahrust didnt leave any regrets behind which means that he totally gives no fucks that his dumbass plan endangered Maya’s life and made his wife cry. Dick.

He doesn't even regret missing the birth of his fuckin child. Ass.

-

Sadmad: I owe a debt to you, one that I will return––

Me: Eat a rotten egg.

Sadmad: Wha-–

Me: Go on, master of putrescence. Eat a whole rotten egg. Consume it shell and all. You heard me. Insert the egg into your mouth and chomp down. Times ticking, I’m waiting.

-

i forgot about the stupid butterflies

-

“So I was thinking, Nick, the legal system here is really stacked agains the defence! It’s really unfair!”

YA DONT SAY

-

listen to this happy music playing as everyone is forced to come to terms with all this sad ass shit. also it appears we just forgot about that tiny matter of the government literally putting hits out. Rayfas dad. is doing this. Nobody gonna address that?? No? Ok

-

Maya: QUIT BEINA LIL BITCH

wait what 

what is this new sprite

eurhg i dont like it put it away

thats not maya thats a husk of evil

-

wow. rayfa didnt even know why maya was here training. the bullshit continues to flow...

-

Maya: deciding what is true and what is false for your people...

the actual truth and lies, right? RIGHT? MAYA???

-

ergh this is so... corny? schlocky? it feels forced

-

“Sorry for almost getting you killed anyway VIVE LA REVOLUTION”

-

Yay! It’s vore man!! i kinda missed his stretchy face.

-

oh well that

thats just a really anticlimactic reveal of Dhurke

like tada! there he is! and he's gone! whatever; he's just been talked about in hushed whispers for the last case or w/e!

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awww the bailiff thinks he can catch a running rebel!! so cute~

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“The Steel Samurai vs Dhurke the Rebel!”

MAYA. THE LAST FIVE MINUTES WERE DEVOTED TO EXPLAINING THAT THE REBELS ARE THE GOOD GUYS. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM???

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i love that they keep hammering in that “maya has stayed maya”

see guys??? dont you just feel the magic of the trilogy??? ITS THERE GUYS WE SWEAR

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Welp, thats it for that case. Now back to America, to visit Athena and BK, and hopefully to read a more enjoyable storyline...

[mattgambler]

Dark Souls versus Nioh

TLDR: I played Dark Souls 1-3 about 18 months ago and yesterday I abandoned my first ever Nioh playthrough halfway through. I compare my experiences and declare them both winner and loser at the end of the day.

Today after waking up I was greeted on Discord by a public message of one of my mods which had me typing frantically in a matter of seconds: so Nioh went the same path as every other soulslike game ? Final call on it matt? ( wich mechanics where new wich ones where even more frustrating and wich ones where a welcome change from the other soulslike games?) I wanna clarify that I played a couple of “soulslike” games over the past 2 years and rarely left one of them unbeaten, so his first line had me somewhat confused about what exactly he meant, given that I had abandoned my Nioh playthrough halfway through only the day before. The games I had played (and I am aware of the fact that some rather important ones are missing) were the three Dark Souls games, Salt and Sanctuary, Dead Cells, Titan Souls and now Nioh. I usually want to beat these sort of games even if I don’t enjoy them, and be it only so I an criticize them without sounding like a whiner who simply didn’t git gud enough. Useless gamer pride, I know. But while I sat there, talking about how I had beaten all the other games before this one, I knew what he was probably talking about - which was me not liking the game. I also didn’t like DarkSouls 1-3 that much, and back when I streamed them it was usually me versus my chat as I tried to win the unwinnable argument of convincing fans of a game why it was clearly and “objectively” bad. Or at least not as good as everyone wanted me to believe. But let’s look at Ashtaks actual question. At first glance, Nioh does a couple of things which had me praising it as soon as I encountered them. Inventory indicators for what you had picked up since you last looked into your inventory. A clear path to follow. Storytelling that looked like actual storytelling for a change. I was sure I would like this one! But the longer I played, the more I noticed the glaring flaws that were worked deep into the games core, and which became even more apparent given how those flaws were mostly absent from the soulsgames I had worked my way through back then. The linear progression was nice in comparison to the at times random and unintuitive nature of Dark Souls, where I only managed to find the painted world of Ariamis after my chat had given me step by step instructions on how to find and enter it. But at the same time the missions soon started to feel same-ish, another temple, another batch of yokai that had corrupted something vengeful spirits something save that village something hope you dont mind taking a look at my yard while you are there Anjin Sama please make sure I didnt leave the window open. The storytelling had me intrigued for about as long as it took me to realize that the narrative was meaningless and bland and that it didnt make much sense up to the point I had reached in my playthrough. There’s a villain and he wants to gather that ressource Amrita that the game had introduced you moments before, now he stole your guardian spirit which you apparently had all along and that seems to be the only spirit in the world that can detect that Amrita stuff even though you are collecting it left and right as quickly as you can because the next levelup will require another 78 000 units of it because, hell, gotta keep you grinding, am I rita? The inventory indicators were good at least. Sorely needed in the trash collecting simulator that both Nioh and the games in the Souls Franchise are, too! But while it made sifting through trash a lot easier and more practical, it didn’t really change the fact that I was collecting trash 99% of the time. At least in Dark Souls you didnt feel like losing out if you left that stuff lying on the ground because you couldn’t exchange it for souls as easily, if at all. (I don’t exactly remember.) But while I’m listing pros here just to pluck them apart right afterwards, I wanna say that weirdly enough I felt like I enjoyed Nioh more, on a surface level. Sure, the story was weirdly uninteresting, but at least it was there, right? The game was reusing the same enemies for mission after mission, but at least it didn’t give me bullshit like the Anor Londo archers or the Tomb of the Giants, or that fucking disgusting curse mechanic in the canalisation of dontaskmewhatthatareawascalled. At least I had my sense of where to go and my inventory indicators for newly picked up equipment, right? And finally some proper tutorials! Yes and no.

While Nioh comes with a metric shitton of improvements that Dark Souls would have desperately needed back then, while it looks great and plays smooth and overall does everything I wanted Dark Souls to do back then, it lacks the inspiration and credibility to actually make it all work for me. On day 6 I encountered a bossfight that was somewhat similar in tone to the Sif encounter in DarkSouls. You know, sad music, the boss was kind of a good guy, this time it was a cat spirit instead of a giant wolf, but yeah, you get it. All it accomplished was making me realize that I never cared much for that feline companion of mine in the first place. Sif, in comparison, had never been my companion. He(?) had never tried to be loyal or helpful to me. Weird how I still ended up caring so much more for him than for my own weird cat buddy that I had never really gotten to know all too well, but... at least he was around? I guess? Must have been the missing limping animation. Another thing that always struck me as unpleasant about the Souls games was that there were no proper tutorials. Here, you are in a cell, now go die. Again, Nioh delivers where Dark Souls fell short, several nicely spaced out tutorials to show you the ropes, how to switch stances, how to use skills, how to take a dump behind a tree. But while Dark Souls would have had me confused about many things if not for my chat, Nioh locks tutorials behind mission progress and usually ended up teaching me things only after I had figured them out on my own. And weirdly enough, those tutorials managed to both make me feel as if they were holding my hand too much as well as(!) if they weren’t clear enough on things. How do you even pull that off? Sure I’m learning in detail what I already know, but I still need to do the tutorials for the rewards and it has me standing there unsure about why it is not continuing because I already did what it wanted me to... I think.

And then there is all the stuff that is missing, at least up to the point that I reached in the game. While Nioh does a somewhat good job of fixing DarkSouls’ flaws (Seriously, that inventory indicator, how could you not have that, Dark Souls. I mean what the actual fuck.) it took things that were good and working and just left them out. Basic stuff, like leaving messages for other players, complex and intriguing things like covenants, boss weapons. Incredibly vital stuff like secrets! Dark Souls is full of them and while I was sometimes annoyed by a bonfire being too well hidden, or another entire area being hidden behind a random wall segment in an even more random wall, Nioh feels like it is incredibly afraid to hide anything, or give you a glimpse of a later boss in the distance, or leave any sort of mystery as the story progresses. The bad guy? Yeah, he stole that spirit to collect amrita. That spirit? Yeah, it has been with William since he was a child. That mission? Yeah, seemingly the kids were turned into yokai, or the shogun (or whatever he was) blew up his castle but he also broke his teaset and that teasets name was “flat spider” in japanese and because he broke it the boss of this level is a giant spider. Oh, that character you didn’t really care for? Here is an entire page of exposition for you if you wanna learn his role in all of this. Considering all of this and more (incredibly uninspired and therefore often confusing leveldesign, to name one of several things I’m not gonna go into too much detail here)  I would already come to the conclusion that Dark Souls is a way more interesting and mysterious game than Nioh. Wild, reckless, interesting. Stupid at times, and fuck the tomb of the giants, what an embarrassing fuckup of modern game design, but still, a wondrous and intriguing journey overall. Personally I liked Dark Souls 2 best. But still I would have considered calling Nioh the more solid game, in a casual,  gamey way. It plays well, you progress through it, you probably have somewhat of a good time anyway. I’ve always considered Dark Souls, especially the first and probably most iconic one, as more of a weird art piece than an actual good game. But Nioh was too hard for me. Yes, harder than Dark Souls, and not in a good way as far as I’m concerned. The sheer number of times I was literally oneshot with full hp because I didnt dodge this attack or that combo in time is just too damn high. Many deaths in Dark Souls came from intricate traps or simply stupidly falling to my death (because fuck swimming or holding on to ledges, right?) but while Nioh does that sometimes as well, the sheer damage that enemies deal with each attack and your characters morbid fetish for being stunlocked made what could have been at least casual fun into a frustrating mess over time. And I used a spear, the only weapon that scales with the hp stat anyway.  I might just be bad, or not patient enough to die through yet another 20 bossfights until I figure out how to dodge enough attacks to barely succeed. But then again, I might just have had more fun dying in Dark Souls than I had dying in Nioh.

[captainsarloslog]

im tired of pretending that im okay

because im not

and i dont ever feel like i am anymore

im unstable enough that my emotions can sway at the drop of a hat

literally

and im fucking useless

im working a job that im currently losing hours in for other people to get more hours where i cant get more than 19 a week and only actually get between 10-15

im struggling to just do that

but i have to get another job or two to actually be able to pay for my appartment myself in october because thats all im getting

and every day i have to struggle through the fact that i just want to die because that would be so much easier

and cope with the fact that ill never finish college and im going to be a worthless piece of resource guzzling garbage for the years until i die

and all i can do is hope that im right in my gut feeling and that i do die when im 24 because at least ill only have to live for three more fucking years before everything stops

im a fuckup and always have been and that’s never going to fucking change

everyone would be better off without me

but im too much of a fucking coward to ever do anything about it

i dont cut because that would make me an attention whore

i used to just slap myself in the face as hard as i could and dig my nails into my arms

but then i got caught by my mom doing the first and she told me to stop being dramatic

and the second is unwise because i have nails now and i can’t justify the cuts

i keep wanting to hurt myself and its bad

i want to bite and shred my arms, claw up and beat my face, break my fingers

but i cant do any of that!! because thats!! bad!!!

so i just sit here miserable wanting to die and hurt myself while wishing that i could at least scream or cry but i can’t let myself scream because that’s going to get attention!!

and i can’tcry because im alive!! and managing!! even though i feel like any day now im just going to give up and find a nice comfy ditch somewhere!!

my therapist thinks im managing well. but im not. i just cant tell her. what can she do to fix it, anyway? nothing. if anything, i might get shipped off to some mental hospital and while part of me would at least be happy that i h’d have some sort of conformation that im not okay, then id lose hours and might lose my job and then i couldnt pay for internet or my phone and then id end up homeless and then id just be more miserable than before. i need to start my meds again. they didnt help last time but maybe theyll help this time. its all i have left to fix this. its all i can fix it with. i cant do yoga, walks dont help, eating well is exausting and i dont have the energy to cook most of the time, i dont have an animal and i dont think i deserve one, and i need to get a new job by october because that’s not negotioable.

fuck