#tlcstuck

[derseprinceoftbd]

This is a rant I've been meaning to get off my chest for a while, but the conception on Tumblr, AO3, and sometimes here, that Jake is capable of "teasing" Dirk, and all that implies, irks me deeply.

Let me be clear: Jake English is not self-aware. He, in Canon, never does anything resembling self-awareness, maturity, emotional boldness, or anything else that requires a spinal column. This includes apologizing to anyone, talking about his problems in a way that doesn't end up being selfish, teasing someone, particularly Dirk, or transitioning. (I maintain this especially; he does not have the boldness, maturity, self-awareness, or nerve to have transitioned his gender presentation pre-Act-6.)

He has an *understanding* of pranks, if we allow Paradox Space as evidence, but that's it. He makes *Tavros* look like a fully-roleplayed-into-Class-shift Lord.

You know what the popular Fandom perception of Jake, as a member of a DirkJake relationship, lines up with? *John*, before his main writing trait became a deep, all-consuming depression and repression thing.

Like, John’s original Act 5 and earlier characterization before his underreaction to his dad's death and the spiral that sent him down towards his current "transition would not save her" characterization is what people use for Jake (charming, funny, actually seems to have his shit together enough to maybe be transmasc (man, remember *transmasc John*?), and, most importantly, seemingly capable of dealing with the levels of vaguely sociopathic bullshit that an even-close-to-accurate Dirk would throw at him), but DirkJohn/JohnDirk is less popular, to the point of not having a consensus order, simply because Jake and Dirk are *coded* as liking each other.

I think a lot of people miss that DirkJake is fundamentally the Equius of relationships; Hussie isn't one of those writers that feels pride in finding pathos in the ridiculous, but spiteful glee and humor. He genuinely does not care if he accidentally touches people's hearts in a way that doesn't involve Dave, or *maybe* Vriska. The fact is, DirkJake is a joke relationship, which is spelled out very clearly in their conversation.

You know, their conversation. The one they have together. The time we see someone who is actual Dirk Strider, not Hal pretending, not Aranea co-opting a memory, not a Brain Ghost, talking to Jake. That time.

Yeah, that doesn't exist. DirkJohn has as much conversational basis as DirkJake.

Edit:

LESS! GAME OVER! "I FAILED"! LESS!!!

DirkJake is a joke, a long, subtle one being made on everyone who saw Dirk's affections and immediately wanted him to get together with his disabled(?) ongoing harassment victim. Hussie was having a lot of fun making it seem like Jake found it important in the Masterpiece, I'll tell you that much.

@thelifetimechannel/@geejaysmith/@clonerightsagenda did magnificently wringing blood from this stone, I really do mean that, their Alphas are genuinely written better than Canon for 3/4, but that's all it ever was; every DirkJake writer is the YouTube comments under [this video](https://youtu.be/B7bpv5xyrOY?si=wYTCFDHM5ZzOY8fp) saying Equius could ever have been more than what he was.

TL:DR

1, Jake is pathetic, and we should remember this.

2, Hussie is a jackass who hates us one and all for the sin of caring and everything he has done with this franchise since maybe EOY2 has had an ulterior motive, and we should remember this.

3, Most people who write longfics set in SBURBless AUs, whether normalcy or fantasy, and want to ship Dirk and Jake should really be shipping Dirk with John, since now that history of Dirk-Jake interactions that justifies the ship in-Universe is gone at the Author's leasure, John would have the dynamic they want, and they talk *exactly as much*.

4, If you want to trans Jake, [there's a sensible way to do that](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8619856), but there's no in-character way to make him transmasc.

5, Read DDOTA, I beseecheth of you. Like yeah the Striders are emotional to a kinda weird degree but apart from that they really got everyone down right.

[jadewheresheshouldbe]

Jade should be free of the fourth wall and all that it represents.

[daytura]

thinking about that moment in TLCstuck where Jade Harley loses a lot of her hair

[the-mspfa-200-favourites-project]

TLCStuck

We’ve been moving along swimmingly, but this is the first time I need to bring in the additional context of Homestuck, really and truly, into the picture. Because, at this point in Homestuck’s Journey, people are starting to get restless about the whole thing. Why? Because it has perpetuated the most awful, terrible thing you can perpetuate if you are a webcomic enjoyed by teens on the internet: IT IS HARMING THE PRECIOUS BLORPOS!

And that. Cannot Happen. This is a genre I like to call “Rewrite” and it basically is like. I want to Rewrite Act 6 (it is always Act 6, usually starting from the Retcon but sometimes it can happen before it), and I want to make everybody get a happy ending, HUSSIE BE DARNED. Now, the thing about this stuff is that it’s usually pure fluff. Sugar. It’s Candy, is what I’m saying. It’s intentions are, “I am going to write this thing right, and by right I mean I want all the characters happy and smiling and I don’t want anything to get in the way of that.” It’s…certainly A genre, and I get wanting to see characters happy instead of sad but…they are characters. They aren’t, you know, real. They have narrative choices that are deliberate, and those choices have consequences. Also, Homestuck doesn’t suck when it gets to Act 6, at least not for me. I can see why some people MIGHT like, not like the meta elements that Act 6 contains, but also Homestuck was doing that kind of thing BEFORE, it’s just not. You know. At that kind of scale. But I REALLY like that kind of thing, and therefore Act 6 has the most “bits” and moments and sequences that I like! Besides the rest of the comic.

The thing about this kind of story is, it only works if you A) do not like the original story, B) got attached to the original stories’ characters somehow despite not liking the original story, and C) want to read an alternative take on it, but not the full thing, just the part that you REALLY despise. Like. It’s a lot, and you kind of need to start off being a hater in your heart for Homestuck on the Homestuck Fansite? And it doesn’t make a complete story? But I guess I need to stop being a hater in my heart for this kind of thing and really judge the story on it’s own merits it’s just. Not starting off on the right foot, is all I’m saying.

Also, you are just inviting comparisons to your story. Because you need to be just as good, IF NOT BETTER, than the OG story you are rewriting. Like. You need to be as good at holding my attention as Hussie. This is not as good as Hussie. Again, I’m an Act 6 liker, so I’m not interested in how they’ll go about “fixing” Act 6, because I already like it just fine. So, yeah. That’s why I’m bowing out of this one.

[skamortuus]

#jade has to apologize for murdering karkat a second time #john: did you eat my gushers? #davesprite: that information isnt necessary for your sidequest #john: i think i'm starting a new side quest that has an annoying feathery asshole as a final boss. #dirk: What did you just dump in my coffee? #hal: That's wisdom Skaia doesn't think you're ready for yet. #Jane: Do you think it's time for another grocery run? #Nanna: It was foretold. #Jane: ... I'll take that as a yes.

Responding to queries with unhelpful NPC stock phrases is a Sprite Meme mostly perpetuated by Davesprite and Hal to be annoying, although Nanna sometimes participates because you can never be too old for a good prank. Jade usually acts above it all, but one time Karkat interrupts her while she’s working on something and without turning around she says, “You have to be at least level 12 to talk to me” and the room explodes. 

[utopianparadoxist]

The best Homestuck I ever consumed was that part in double death of the author where the other alphas are arguing and Dirk is super quiet until they turn around and he's just trying not to cry. Chasing that high ever since

[heliomie]

homestuck works that I've read/are reading

kittyquest (done! AMAZING. beautiful. javepeta for the win. i love you ramona. javepeta solos literally everything else. feel good and not mindboggling in the slightest. i accept this for earth c. it's solarpunk too)

godfeels (obviously) (all caught up) (devastated by godfeels constantly. godfeels owns a lot in my mind and it wont go away until the next update. i need to know more about edie halley immediately)

serendipity gospels (it's tazmuir what am I supposed to do. reading this post-tlt is both horrifying and eye opening)

i NEED to read pilot light pale rapture. I love the title and it's written by the kittyquest guy. who also wrote the glorious tales of our originators and that one fucks majorly as well

i started btdh (burning down the house). it's great. must continue. it's so homestuck in the homestuckiest way

LOVED therapystuck because it fulfillled my personal need for all these kids to get therapized even tho it barely worked :p

failure to launch MAY be my favorite junework. even though i love godfeels june. literary wise ftl doesn't come close to godfeels june but like.... obviously.... they are different mediums! i just love failure to launch and wish it the best in the inactive void it's currently floating in.

vast error i looove you. i love all of those funny little guys

I LOVE HOMESLICE. homeslice is literally everything i ever needed in homestuck canon

but you know what i love more? the crow strider au. csau is so beautiful.... meraki sunset your MIND. like how did they do that. how is everyone alive in a justifiably time-fuckery way.

i am scared to approach tlcstuck

and I NEED to read the tapestry. i have heard so many good things

also do you know Homestuck Animation WIP: Extended Version? yeah that one. captivating thirteen year old minds before i reached elementary school. and maybe mambostuck i guess.

[thelifetimechannel]

Would you say it's TLCStuck or TLCstuck?

I tend to write TLCstuck, if I'm writing it out that far. - Kat

[melissa-titanium]

Are there any HS Fanventures you particularly like, if you dabble in them at all?

TLCSTUCK AND GUIDESTUCK/GUIDESTUCK^2 ARE MY FAVES!!! :) i suppose i'm biased for gs^2 cause i work on that hehe. BUT OTHER THAN THAT... im not sure!!! been meaning to read crow strider though :)

[wrdn-tabris]

what if i reread tlcstuck again....

[crappy-homestuck-confessions]

What about the Hostilestuck reference in TLCStuck: Double Death of the Author though?

I haven't heard about this! Could you please share the reference?

[derseprinceoftbd]

Here, at last, is that thing I keep talking up: my Homestuck rewrite doc itself, a list of the changes I would make (with illustrative page links), heavily inspired by the works of @thelifetimechannel, @meraki-sunset, and, to a lesser extent, @friendlybatteringram and @act8official. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yvangCLo3QIyuCvjWL6pu_fTQXaZFa3F6BS0_rHT5dc/edit?usp=drivesdk. Featuring more God-Tiers, Karkat Doing Things, June Egbert, Ultimate Jade, Cherub Lore rewrites, Eridan Doing Things, Nepeta Doing A Few Things, Feferi causing Game Over, slightly more Tricksters, nothing known beyond the final threshold, and more. Approximated to end up at around 8400 pages.

Edit: big rewrite pending, should be up at... some point.

[jadewheresheshouldbe]

Jade should be at the end.

[pepiempanadas]

On page 694 of TLCstuck. I like the direction things are taking, but god, is it wordy, which is a plus when two characters confront eachother(which is often), but a minus during everything else

i feel like in a DARE commercial

[the-mspfa-200-favourites-project]

HOMESTUCK: ACT OMEGA

Okay that was just a warm up. This is where it starts to get real.

Homestuck: Act Omega tells us one very crucial thing: that the Fandom did not the like the ending of Homestuck. Oh, yeah, I should tell you that: Homestuck ended this year, which probably explains the uptick in Comics produced on the site. Whenever Homestuck leaves the fandom, the fandom scrambles for something to fill that Homestuck-shaped hole in their heart, and usually they will fill it with MSPFAs. Hence, Homestuck: Act Omega, a continuation of Homestuck starting from AFTER Act 7, and going “but what if there were complications.”

If you’re previous highs in the Fandom were “Guidestuck” and “HeniousStuck,” then yeah, I could see why people would love this comic. It’s got such good art! Such a good intro! And it’s got all my favourite characters that I already like, in new adventures, dealing with the stuff that Homestuck brought on them. Of course, people are gonna go NUTS over this thing.

However, remember TLCStuck? Yeah. Remember that long rant I had about how Rewrites have all these problems inherent to them? Yeah. Continuations, by and large, kind of have the same problem, namely: why would I need to see the continuation of Homestuck, Homestuck already ended and came to a satisfying conclusion! Them having the same complaints makes sense also, since it stems from the same source: dissatisfaction at a product’s ending. Going “no, I want more of it” regardless of whether that makes sense or not. From here on out, Homestuck is…well…the culture is kind of shifting towards thinking of Homestuck less as this really cool and awesome thing that’s totally rad and has all your precious characters in it, and going “Homestuck Sucks.” We already saw it with TLCStuck, we already saw it partially in Redditstuck, and we see it definetly here: a dissastifaction on how the story ended, and what it chose to show and not show.

But there’s that quote, you know the one. The one about Spite. How it’s a bad building tool. It’s bad at propelling you forward. Yeah, that one. I probably already mentioned it in TLCStuck. This one has a lot more spunk and verve than TLCStuck, and I think if I was to ask which semi-continuation made out of dissatisfaction with the OG Homestuck Run and it’s ending I preferred amongst the two, I would go with this comic, but I would also ask why the heck I had to choose in the first place.

(Though shout out to the music team, that page 100 flash music is a banger and I will not say otherwise).

[skamortuus]

#davesprite once looked john dead in the eye and drank an entire bottle of antifreeze #dirk and hal have an argument so hal eats his hair gel

At some point while Hal’s rhapsodizing over his baked goods, Roxy’s like ‘r u evn supposed 2 eat like… do u have a stomach or does stuff mystically vanish’ and, when he isn’t sure of the answer, immediately dares him to eat a rock.

Jane walks into her kitchen to find Roxy videotaping Hal trying to eat an entire soda can for five boonbucks.