#helluva penguins

[anthurak]

So recently reading an interesting/disturbing post/article on the Franklin Expedition and rewatching the Helluva Boss shorts have combined to produce this random little brain fart of an idea:

Who do you think wins a fight between the racist, xenophobic murder penguins from Mission: Antarctica, and the fucked-up monster polar bear from that one book/show about ‘What if the Franklin expedition had a fucked-up monster polar bear?’

Personally my money’s on the penguins. If for nothing else than by sheer weight of numbers.

Heck, while we’re at it let’s expand these matchups:

How well do the bunch of unhinged, murderous xenophobes fair against the unhinged, murderous xenophobes who happen to be penguins?

I.M.P. vs Fucked-Up Monster Polar Bear?

And finally; three imps vs. two ships worth of British dudes high off their asses on lead-poisoning.

Well for round one I’d say the Franklineers don’t even last long enough to start their Donner party. Like I imagine the penguins take one look at those Englishmen and are immediately infuriated that anyone else would DARE try to be more racist and xenophobic than them and massacre the lot on sight. Heck, maybe the penguins then try and get the ships free of the ice so they can sail out onto the open sea and make war on the English.

As for I.M.P. vs F.U.M.P.B., while it’s not an easy fight by any estimation I do think our imps come out on top. Maybe they need to call in Loona for some extra muscle/rip-and-tear. Like yeah, that bear is tough, but it also has to contend with armor-piercing sniper rounds from Moxxie, shotgun blasts from Blitzo, AND a Millie likely in full feral-murder-gremlin mode going all stab-happy on it with a knife.

Alternatively, maybe Loona in full-on berserker-mode 1v1’s the thing? This one is entirely due to my bias of wanting to see Loona do cool shit :D

Finally we have our imp trio vs. the two ships of loony, cannibal-happy british dudes, AKA; I.M.P. getting a bulk order with the promise a very nice payday.

The funny thing about this matchup is that I feel like each side has an entirely different perspective as to what’s going on.

For the Frankliners, this is (more of) a horror story as they are gradually being picked off one by one in brutal fashion by a mysterious, unseen killer who appears suddenly to brutally slaughter one or two of them, then just as quickly vanishes without a trace.

Meanwhile, while Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie might LIKE to go all inverse-doomslayer on the hapless would-be colonizers, there is the little problem of it being REALLY FUCKING COLD. So they instead decide to take it easy on this one, using their Asmodean crystal to just pop in and take out one or three guys before popping back to the comfort of Hell for a few hours/days, rinse and repeat.

And the best part is that when our heroes pop in to take out a couple guy only to find that they’ve already been whacked by a third guy who also seem to be trying to eat them for some weird reason, our imps realize these humans will just kill themselves for them! Now they just need to pop in every other day or so, whack one or two dudes, and the rest will do their job for them.

Admittedly, after a few days the remaining humans are looking pretty gross and possibly a bit undead, so Blitzo, Moxxie and even Millie start taking out their targets from a distance. Thankfully at this point they don’t really even need to be killing them directly. Like one of them just saw Moxxie perched on the mast, screamed about demons and angels, then immediately stabbed one of his mates to death and started eating him.

So by the last few days, Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie are just popping in to go ‘OOGA-BOOGA’ a few times and letting the job take care of itself.

[seaweed-eater521]

[cometblaster2070]

i love how this is ridiculous even IN context I can't-

[nervousninja-art]

✨Fierce, Elegant, Moisturized✨

She ✨is✨the moment

🦛 💅 👑💕

[cerbero2518]

"Penguins don't have teeth. Instead, they have backward-facing fleshy spines that line the inside of their mouths"

Pretty accurate

I love Helluva Boss, but now I have a new fear 🤣

[gods-favorite-cl0wnboy]

new helluva short which is amazing but this. is so fucking funny

@sunnysaystuff

[mimiscappini]

Before i forget to post this here.

[kandy-sticks-zaza-blogs]

Shows I watch instead of Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

Pls don't attack me I am autistic pls respect my boundaries

Mixels my fav childhood minisodes about lego characters that learned to work together and their fusion are awesome. Also I understand what Kramer is saying.

3 2 1 Penguins have good bible quotes in the christain kid show I only know Veggietales when I was watching it on YouTube also 4 talking penguins are cool also Kevin is my fav autistic British penguin.

When it came out I got excited when it came out I was waiting for season 2 but it never came I love the cool rubber hose cartoon style in the adult animated show.

I love how it is about cooking and DND anime like Campfire Cooking in another world it’s wholesome,dark,delicious food and amazing animations also I love how the food look tasty and the intro song is a vibe but I wished that they added the missing moments in the manga right to the cutscenes when I’m watching it.The anime turns me into a gay simp fr.

When I first saw Red dwarf on BBC my mom tells me that Red dwarf is her fav childhood show I love how funny the sci-fi series is also the cat slaying in every episodes.

I love watching Bravest Warrior as a pre teen I love how they look like Adventure time but sci-fi Catbug gotta be my fav character.

Scooby doo is my fav when I grew up watching it on my old iPad and watching it on tv what I hate the most is scooby doo mystery incorporated they ruined Scooby doo and Velma relationship Velma loves Scooby doo when she met him as a puppy it’s so adorable I love how Velma treats him as a good friend instead of being jealous of eachother also I hated the Velma show.

I love watching Gravity falls on TV whenever I am on vacation with my family I love watcit everyday since my favourite is Mable cuz she’s like my fr as a kid now I become Robbie but without nobody cuz I never interested in dating. Alex Hirsh the legend who made a successful discontinued amazing 2 seasons show and made a coolest lore about Bill Cipher.

I love watching it since the show came out the year after I was out of the womb and still a baby I love how cool the robots are transformers are a greatest franchise since the 80s I love that the transformers characters are different from the original one like an alternate universe Prowl was my fav when I was a kid.

I love Monkey wrench since it came out I love the funny duo between Beebs and Shrike relationship they are the funny duo in the indie series the stories isn’t rushed and I love Sci-fi genre so much!

[tealvenetianmask]

Not to overanalyze a joke (I would never do that), but this moment from the fucking penguin short says a lot to me about Blitz and Moxxie's relationship and why it's so rocky.

Moxxie: I first read this interaction as Moxxie messing with Blitz, not gonna lie. But after some reflection, I don't think he is at all. Based on how fucking dialed in to every single task Moxxie gets (think all of Unhappy Campers or how carried away he gets with paying the street vendors in Seeing Stars), I think he's just so fixated on taking the notes Blitz is dictating that he completely fails to realize when Blitz's comments start to be not for the notes.

I think it also reveals a way in which Moxxie fundamentally doesn't understand Blitz. As the audience, we can tell right away that when Blitz switches to complaining, it's not for the notes. But I could see Moxxie viewing Blitz as sort of unpredictable/chaotic and truly not knowing that he wouldn't want it included. Will he yell at me for not including it? Don't know. Better be thorough to do a good job! And then he gets yelled at for including it. Poor guy.

Even though he's often critical of Blitz, Moxxie relies on Blitz's approval for his self-esteem a lot. So he's used to getting yelled at by his boss, but it still hurts him.

Blitz: Okay, our guy has a short temper in general, but especially with Moxxie. From his perspective, Moxxie is doing something completely nonsensical, and yes, beyond stupid.

At the beginning of the penguin short, it's clear that Blitz doesn't want to do this job. He thinks that what the client wants is pointless, and besides, they have to go somewhere freezing. And we get quite a few clues that he's been feeling down about the whole Stolas situation and he's not excited to work any job, much less this one. And in the midst of all that, Moxxie is making a mess of the notes, so now it will have to be fixed. It's very annoying.

Also, Moxxie often has this air of superiority with Blitz. He likes calling out Blitz for having stupid plans, and he often comes across as judgmental. In Truth Seekers, we saw that he feels like Moxxie is smarter than him and/or judging him. So his annoyance might also relate to the idea that Moxxie is both judgmental and always fucking up.

If we want to stretch it a bit (yes, I know it's a stretch), Blitz is relying on Moxxie for accurate and quick notes because if Blitz's dyslexic ass did it himself they'd be a mess. He doesn't want to spend time fixing his own work OR Moxxie's work.

In all: No, I don't think this is a big moment in the plot by any stretch. I just think it's a really funny and interesting way to highlight some aspects of their dynamic, especially since the short later sets them against each other in *cough* other areas.

As a final thought, there are absolutely conflicting trauma responses impacting the friendship/working relationship between these two, and very likely differing neurodivergences as well. Blitz for sure needs to apologize to Moxxie for how he treats him, but Moxxie could maybe stand to explain and possibly adapt some of his behaviors as well. (Get all these characters good mental healthcare please.)

[changeling-droneco]

My sense of humor is broken because this is the funniest thing in the world to me

[akirathedramaqueen]

HOW'S THAT FOR A TOP ANTIS? SUCK SOME CLOACA

[zero-rabbit]

I think I'm cooked

Also guess what Batman villian is my favorite

[haleomay]

Watching the latest Helluva Boss minisode.

Also, the penguin has biceps!

[cometblaster2070]

My second favorite shot out of the whole episode ngl because every detail about this is just PERFECT.

Millie's just an arsonist and maniacally cackling after setting the penguins on fire while Moxxie and Blitz watch on in sheer horror and confusion.

AND THEN THERE'S JUST THE PENGUINS YELLING SLURS??? AND THE FACE OF THE PENGUIN ON THE RIGHT I ACTUALLY CAN'T IT'S LOOKING AT THEM WITH SUCH ABSOLUTE HATE IT'S MAKING ME CRY.

[spicylove4ever]

Just the penguin that was shot. For science.

[quillyfied]

Folks listen

We can debate Blitzo’s skill as a cunning linguist til the cows come home

BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW APPARENTLY A HORDE OF PENGUINS MASSACRED AN ANTARCTIC RESEARCH TEAM???

Because either the penguins did it or IMP failed the investigation and there is something else on the loose, and I don’t know which is worse.