#helena wayne-kyle

[vodrae]

Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

[incorrectbatfam]

What does Tim say when people ask about his spleen?

Damian: I am updating my blackmail records. Tell me what happened to your spleen in its full hilarity.

Tim: I donated it to a sickly orphan.

Damian: You win this round.

———————

Tim: I have to be careful, I lost my spleen.

Carrie: How?

Tim: Aliens.

———————

Tim: I'm zero percent spleen and fifty-nine percent pizza sauce.

Helena: Zero percent spleen?

Tim: Yep. On the bright side, they named a disease after me.

———————

Luke: I've designed nanotech vitals trackers to be implanted on our spleens.

Tim: Oh, no thanks. I don't have one.

Luke: You don't have a spleen?

Tim: It wasn't paying rent so I evicted it. Lazy freeloader.

———————

Barbara: Why does your chart say you're missing a spleen?

Tim: I made a deal with the devil but I had a discount code so instead of my soul I just needed to sell a non-essential organ.

———————

Steph: What happened to your spleen? Are you okay?

Tim: I'm fine. It's taking an extended gap year.

———————

Harper: So... can I ask about your spleen?

Tim: Yeah, don't worry. I was part of a failed science experiment.

Cullen: What'd they do?

Tim: They injected me with a serum that was supposed to make me indestructible. But instead all I got were a spleen removal and chronic insomnia. And a free T-shirt.

Cullen:

Harper:

Cullen: Was it a nice shirt?

———————

Dick: What do you mean you don't have a spleen?!?

Tim: It was confiscated by airport security.

———————

Tim: Happy Pride! My spleen finally came out of the closet. And by closet I mean my body.

Kate: Diversity win.

———————

Tim and Jason: *arguing*

Jason: At least I still have my spleen!

Tim: It's genetic!

Jason: Sucks to be you.

Tim: We have the same dad. It could happen to you too.

Jason, scoffing: Whatever.

Jason, internally: Oh shit, he's right. I need to see Leslie.

———————

Tim and Bette: *sparring*

Bette: *hits Tim*

Tim: Ow. Time out. That was my spleenhole.

Bette: ...How?

Tim: It took a trip to the Titanic in a soup can with a Playstation controller.

———————

Duke: Since when did you have that scar?

Tim: Since losing my spleen last year.

Duke: How do you lose a spleen?

Tim: You forget to cherish it.

———————

Cass: ?

Tim: I digested it.

———————

Selina: You know I have to tell Bruce about this.

Tim: Okay, fine.

Tim: I had to get it removed as a kid after falling into a well of bats.

———————

Bruce: Tell me what happened to your spleen so Alfred and Leslie can give you the proper treatment.

Tim: What do you mean?

Bruce: Everyone's been telling me you don't have it.

Tim: Well, I do, so...

Bruce: Alright, I'll have a talk with them about bad taste pranks.

———————

Alfred: You can't keep the truth from me, Master Tim.

Tim: Assassins stole it.

Alfred: I wasn't born yesterday. Now what really happened?

Tim: ...

[soranatus]

Gotham’s Finest Family & Friends By freelance illustrator, Gabriel Larragán

[uncharted-constellations]

It’s been a minute, (both post wise and design wise) so decided to update the fam + a couple additions compared to last time

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

Bat Family Fact Files from DC Comics: The Ultimate Character Guide

Baby's first bat family. Sorry, there wasn't a Black Bat.

My favourite bit is that Steph's epithet is "Daring Defender" while Tim's is "Daring Detective".

[batcowenraged]

im tired of damian looking exactly like bruce. give me damian who looks like talia.

damian who bruce looks at and can't see any of himself in. damian who instead reminds bruce of talia with every smile and glare. damian who grows his hair when he's older as he's growing into his mother's face. and bruce suddenly has to be enforcing gotham/bat morals and rules on someone who looks far more like an al ghul than a wayne. damian who never gets as tall as his father or brothers and who doesn't build muscle the same way leaving him to fight like his mother and cass. like an assassin. damian who can't be batman the way he's always dreamed of because he will never be a looming vengeful presence capable of physical intimidation. and that's ok. because he can be worse. he's a batman that matches black bat. silent and terrifying and no one knows he's there until the fight is over. he fights quickly and efficiently with a combination of techniques that pull from black bat, huntress, batgirl, catwoman, and even nightwing (who is a gymnast/aerialist first and foremost) at their most terrifying. and on top of that everyone knows he used to be sword robin.

he doesn't need to look anything like bruce to be a terror inducing batman. and he doesn't need to look anything like bruce to cause bruce emotional turmoil.

[joyisoverparty]

No one does it better than the Birds of Prey!

Batman: The Brave and the Bold season 2 episode 17: The Mask of Matches Malone!

[tearful-bat]

Batfamily love language headcanons

All memebers of Batfamily x reader

word count:608

Bruce Wayne

Gift giving: Bruce is busy being batman and what not so he doesn't really have time to spend with you, also he's pretty closed off with his emotions so I can’t see him giving words of affirmation so he probably just makes up for not being with you a lot by sending and buying you lots of expensive gifts

Dick Grayson 

words of affirmation: When he's busy protecting Bludhaven he’ll send you cute messages whiles he's working

physical touch: after he gets back from it he’ll just hug you until you both eventually fall asleep 

Tim drake

gift giving: like Bruce is pretty busy so will also just send you lots of mostly useless expensive gifts 

physical touch: won’t out right ask you for physical affection but secretly craves it

Jason Todd 

quality time: just likes having you presence there while he's doing things like reading or working on case files 

physical touch: like Tim he craves physical affection but won’t ask 

Damian Wayne

quality time: just generally likes hanging around with you even if you’re just doing stuff in comfortable silence 

Gift giving: probably will occasionally buy you expensive gifts but I can also see him giving you paintings he's painted or if he goes abroad he’ll ll bring you back something 

physical touch: probably won’t ask, maybe would motion for you to do it by holding out his hand and stuff but would kind of expect you to do it and if you didn’t he’d get all pouty 

Duke Thomas 

words of affirmation: loves to tell you how much he loves you is kinda cheesy and if you do it back he gets really giddy 

acts of service: if you ask him to do anything he’ll do it no questions asked 

Cassandra Cain

Acts of service: Cassandra isn’t good at telling you how much she loves you so she shows it through he actions

Physical touch: if your walking together somewhere will hold your hand the whole time. Will come to your apartment after her patrol and after you patch her up will hold you for the whole night until you have to leave for work/ school.

Stephanie brown

Words of affirmation: like Dick she’ll send you messages during her patrol and will also compliment any outfit you wear

Quality time: just randomly shows up to your apartment to spend time with you even if it’s during her patrol.

Physical touch: if you are both together chances are she’s either hugging you or holding your hand

Barbara Gordon

Quality time: just likes spending time with you. Will invite you to stay in the clock tower with her while she’s working as oracle she finds your presence comforting and relies on you to tell her to take a break from the computer

Acts of service: she already does lots for the batfamily as oracle so if you asked her to do something she’d be on it for you

Kate Kane

Gift giving: will leave sweet little gifts at your doorstep

Harper Row

Gift giving: will make gadgets for you as gifts

Quality time : just like’s casually hanging out with you maybe playing video games together or something

Selina Kyle

Gift giving: will gift you stuff she’s stolen or if you say you like something in a shop window or something will go out and steal it for you

Words of affirmation: like Stephanie she’ll compliment all your outfits and tease you a lot

Physical touch: when she comes home from being catwoman likes to fall asleep in her bed with you

Helena Bertinelli 

acts of service: you ask her to do something for you and she’ll do it 

[binglepringle]

Creatures, all of ‘em

More bad doodles and more character squares bc I love them <333

[incorrectbatfam]

Likelihood of the batfam bailing you out of jail:

Tim: Absolutely 100% no questions asked

Steph: She'd ask you what you did and take you out for food to celebrate

Dick: He would, but there is going to be a long, unavoidable conversation

Barbara: She'd call them to convince them to let you out but you gotta find your own way home

Duke: Yes, but it'll be an awkward drive back because it's 2AM and he's in Ninja Turtles pajamas

Harper: She doesn't answer unknown numbers

Damian: He would do it only to have something to hold over your head

Helena: She'll do it if you sign a contract to pay her back with interest

Alfred: He'd leave you in there for a night as a lesson

Carrie: She would agree after you tell her how to do it but get distracted and never show up

Cullen: He's just glad someone remembered to call him

Kate: She would laugh and hang up

Luke: He'd send someone else to do it

Bette: She would reluctantly say yes after some back-and-forth

Bruce: He's already there bailing out one of his kids, so why not

Selina: She would, and she'd teach you how to not get caught next time

Jason: He's sitting in the cell next to you

Cass: She's not bailing you out, she's breaking you out

[leoleolovesdc]

What is wrong with each batfam member:

Damian: Self child endangerer

Lance: Everything in his life since he was two years old

Tim: No respect for anyone including himself

Cass: (Literally) punches her problems away

Dick: Eldest daughter syndrome (he's not a daughter) and mommy issues (he doesn't have a mother)

Jason: Emo

Kate: Homosexual (and a wife stealer)

Selina: Let's herself be stolen

Alfred: Unnecessarily rude to teenage girls

Helena: Unironically says "Mama mia!"

Duke: A Little Shit

Harley: Criminally insane

Barbara: Wanted in 27 countries for online crimes

Stephanie: Biggest hypocrite you'll ever meet

Harper: Blue hair and pronouns

Carrie: Thinks anything can be solved with a stick of dynamite

Bruce: All of the above

[vodrae]

Batman: We do not kill !

Every batkid in history: So anyway I started blasting.

Batman: ....We do kill ! Murder is okay ! As a treat ! There is no second chance ! I'm sure being a criminal is in their DNA. I might signaled prostitutes to the IRS tonight because they are not declaring all this cash i'm sure.

Batkids: I'M GOING TO BE THE LEAST LETHAL HERO IS THE WORLD YOU HEAR ME SHITHEAD ?!

[momachan]

"Good night, Bat. I love you. -I love you too, Cat. From the first kiss to the last."

Batman By Tom King & Lee Weeks (2016-). "Some Of These Days."

[shihoerusu]

Family time at the manor

[sisaloofafump]

Detective comics #1000

Bonus:

(Spoiler, no one got kicked out of the family)

Double bonus:

[not-another-robin]

Helena Wayne moment