#healthy relationships!!!

[fragile-things-archive]

hugging until we smell like each other. that's it. that's the whole point.

[seijatachiis]

rambling about how much i love my bf bc like. i wont say that being in a relationship saved my life bc i feel like thats dismissive for aro people, esp as someone who was questioningly aro for so long. but i think for me. for me i needed someone. i needed someone to pick me. someone to pick me FIRST because ive never had that. ive never really had someone just be so. willing to love all the parts of me.

my bf isnt perfect. i mean presumably. i can name one flaw and its not even his fault so it doesnt count (its he stanky sometimes but people sweat and people have bad morning breath its just life). but i just. have never felt so at peace with someone. i am introverted but i could never tire of being around him.

the thing i love most about him is that he created a safe space to talk about emotions and shit. he was patient, he gave me space, never pressured me into anything. he never ridiculued me, never said what i was feeling was stupid, and he waited for me to reach the answers on my own time. it was an open line of communication. like when people say communication is important for a good relationship theyre so fucking right.

we've been dating almost a year and have never fought. i believe we will someday. but because he always made me feel safe in talking about whats on my mind, we always always talk. we communicate. probably overcommunicate. but we identify issues before they arise. and work together to overcome them. he's definitely got adhd and maybe autism and ive got executive dysfunction and probably adhd so we're actively working together.

idr who it was there was a man on tiktok who talked about his wife and her adhd and how he never gets upset or mad because he knows its how her brain works and he doesnt wanna stress her out more by being upset. THATS the energy i try to bring to our relationship. when the bf forgets to do something, ill just do it. because i know it wasnt intentional that he forgot. idk i just love him and we're both trying to make things work.

arguably we're both being too considerate of the other but thats bc trauma we both have. anyways i love my bf :3

[pileofsnakes1]

For a full experience please read Starscreams dialogue in a similar cadence as Mater in that one meme about wanting to fuck McQueen

[histhoughtslately]

When love finds you again, I wish for you that is kind, gentle, loving, peaceful and tranquil. May it make you smile again, laugh often, dance like no one’s watching, and support your true self without condition.

[sk-lumen]

What a healthy, secure relationship looks like

He communicates consistently and clearly. Replies promptly, doesn't leave you on seen, checks up on you throughout the day/week according to his schedule and in agreement with your needs as well.

He pays attention to your needs and desires and quirks, and makes your life better using said details. Ie. buys your favorite kind of flowers, makes your favorite tea in the morning, remembers your food allergies when having dinner dates, etc.

Disagreements may still appear even in health relationships, and it's ok, as communication is essentual for a healthy dynamic. However, his approach to disagreements is a secure one: each will share their perspective, and if feelings were hurt or mistakes were made, he takes accountability for his side, and makes genuine apologies followed by reparations and direct actions (ie. "I'm sorry I did x, I didn't mean to hurt you. I will be/do y in the future", and then does as he promised).

Promises are kept. His actions are in alignment with his words, and he keeps his words. If he says he'll call you after work, he does. If he says he needs to cool off during an argument and will reopen the conversation in 1h, he does indeed return in 1h to continue the topic.

If you're anxious, he will reassure you and work through it. He doesn't run away or avoid the topic (as an avoidantly attached person would).

If you come forward communicating your needs, or sharing complaints or grievances, he will hear you out and actively seek a way to improve things. He won't freak out, or get angry or run away in response to you having needs or communicating your thoughts; these are normal relationship things you're entitled to, and a securely attached man knows this.

A man that is well-rounded, with a secure attachment style, will have a rich life of his own: hobbies, interests, circles of friends, activities, etc. He will enjoy having his independence and space, and will respect your need for your own. He is not co-dependent, nor gets in the way of you having your own life outside of him. He knows having individually rich lives is important for a healthy relationship. To expand on this, he encourages you to enjoy your selfcare time, your girl's night out, or whatever other activities nourish you.

[cuntylestat]

people saying louis should be on his own and go to therapy and get a healthier sense of self outside of relationships. well where's the fun in that

[theambitiouswoman]

Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

[lazylittledragon]

nomad boyfriend comes back for a visit

obviously there are some extras for the patr0ns <3

[figs-and-cigs]

[desultory-suggestions]

Even if your body isn’t what you wish it were, you can still treat it with the respect it deserves. While it’s completely fine to dream of certain goals and changes for yourself, it’s equally important to learn to appreciate your body for what it is right now. Don’t try to fuel yourself on self hatred.

[bloodbruise]

college barista james falling in love with college radio host regulus through song.

james tunes into the campus radio every tuesday night—not because he’s really into finding new music, but because regulus is the voice behind it. regulus’ show is all late-night jazz, obscure indie tracks, and that smooth, low commentary that james could listen to for hours. the first time james hears it live, in person at the café, he nearly spills the iced latte he’s making all over himself.

he isn’t completely pathetic, though—he flirts a little, drops hints here and there. memorizes regulus’ favorite drink so it’s always waiting for him when he walks in. asks about why his favorite songs are his favorite. still listens every tuesday as he falls for him more and more.

james has never called into the show—he wouldn’t know what to say—but regulus’ voice still fills his dorm every week.

one night, regulus runs a quiet segment where listeners can request songs and share a few words. james, maybe a little tipsy from the cheap wine he and sirius scored by charming the lady at the corner store, finally decides to call in. he keeps it simple, asking for a song he knows regulus loves—"the only love song he can tolerate," as he once told james. when “the boy” by the smashing pumpkins starts playing, james hears regulus laugh softly into the mic, a sound warmer than any wine. “someone out there has good taste,” regulus says, and james feels his heart skip.

on air, regulus doesn’t let on if he knows it’s james, but the next day, as james makes his usual coffee, regulus gives him a small, knowing smile—like he just might.

[cheeseandcake-from-ao3]

[queerautism]

Unironically I have a solution to this - Encourage young women to also read Lolita by Nabokov in addition to these books.

[muzsmocsing]

Reading svsss really puts into perspective just how MIRACULOUSLY normal Hua Cheng turned out despite his arguably worse circumstances.

[technically-human]

Ooh, now that we’ve seen N!Edwin and DP!Edwin talk about Feelings could we see the same with N!Charles and DP!Charles?

As simple as that.

Edwins version

ko-fi

[theereina]

BLACK LOVE