#he had joined a neurodivergent group

[cryingscreamingpuking]

It really makes me so damn angry how many autistic/ADHD people treat the neurodivergent label as the autism+adhd label. Neurodivergent includes ANYONE who's brain doesn't work the way it's supposed to. This includes people that have learning disabilities. People with down's syndrome. People with cluster A, B and C disorders. That includes systems/people with DID, that includes schizophrenics, that includes people with PTSD. If you have a group that is labeled for neurodivergent people, you cannot act surprised or offended if people that don't have autism or ADHD but DO have other disorders join that group. Because neurodivergent is an umbrella term. And everyone under that umbrella term deserves to be able to find community in groups named with that umbrella term.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for snapping at my friend? I have been friends with this person (who we'll call L) for a while, about 3 years now. After about a year and a half of being friends, I joined his DnD group, who he is the DM for. The group is made up of my and L's mutual friends, all of whom I knew before joining. L is neurodivergent (as am I), and his hyperfixation for the last few years has been DnD 5e lore and rules, and he's recently expanded to his own homebrew stuff as well. He talks a lot about the stuff he's interested in, and most of the time I'm happy to listen, especially since it's stuff I'm also interested in (at least to an extent). I'm currently going through some big changes in my life, possibly involving an overseas move, which I'm very excited about. I don't talk about it too much with L or my other friends unless they ask about it, since nothing is final yet. Well, a few days ago L and I were talking during a break we have together at uni, and while we were talking about some homebrew lore stuff for our upcoming campaign I got a fairly important email regarding my move, and I interrupted L to read the email. I thought I did it in as nice a way as I could've, saying something along the lines of "hang on a sec, [important thing] emailed me". Once I'd finished reading it, I was ready to go back to the conversation, but L looked at me very seriously and said "you really shouldn't interrupt people when they're talking". I was thrown way off guard and said "yeah but the [important thing] emailed me, I had to read it", and he said "but you shouldn't have interrupted me in the middle of my sentence", at which point I kinda said/yelled "don't tell me how to behave". He then said (mostly to himself) that he doesn't understand what he did wrong, and why I was mad at him. Things were quiet for a while and then we went back to talking about DnD. Neither of us have talked about this since, and based on the history of our friendship we probably won't. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[hyperlexichypatia]

This survey of why parents are estranged from their adult children is such an interesting illustration of how neurobigotry functions in society and interpersonal relationships. People accuse their estranged family members of being Mad/neurodivergent, because Madness is synonymous with being at fault in a relationship. It's considered inherently Reasonable and Justified to cut ties with a Mad/neurodivergent person -- especially an untreated-by-choice Mad/neurodivergent person -- because to be Mad/neurodivergent is to be inherently wrong, inherently unreasonable, inherently burdensome, inherently the one who is not abiding by the social compact.

Or as one of my friends put it, "Mental illness exists as a sociopolitical concept of ontological wrongness."

One of the pervasively enduring aspects of neurobigotry is that people who have been abused by neurobigotry will, instead of rejecting neurobigotry, simply accept it and turn it around on their abusers. People think they're really onto something with "No, it is my abusive parents who are mentally ill and need therapy" or "No, it is the people in power who are mentally defective" or "Racism/capitalism/bigotry are the real mental illness!"

But you can't dismantle the master's house with the master's tools. Pathologizing your parents doesn't correct the power imbalance of being pathologized by them, and using pathologization as a way to convey wrongness is still reifying pathologization and neurobigotry.

The context of family estrangement reminds me of this thought process I started about the construction of "cults." When the anti-cult movement began, it was centered on family members of people who'd joined new religious movements. The premise that people who joined religious groups their families didn't approve of were victims of "cult brainwashing" who needed to be "rescued" and "deprogrammed" (against their will, of course) was a tool of controlling families trying to deny their (usually) adult children's right to freedom of religion and general life choices. The idea that "cults" caused family estrangement was an integral aspect of the moral panic around them.

But over the decades, the stigma on "cults" has shifted. The contemporary anti-cult movement is fueled by people who grew up in abusive religious communities and chose to leave. It's applied as often to older, larger, established religious groups as it is to newer, smaller ones. While the original anti-cult movement largely centered on parents trying to control their adult children, the newer anti-cult movement largely centers on adults who've broken away from their parents' control.

Except. Except. It still uses the pathologization framework established in the 1970s. It's still a reversal -- No, it is you, the parents, the church, the authority, who are the Mentally Ill, the cult, the deviant, the ones in need of being fixed -- rather than a rejection or reframing: Actually, young people should be free to choose their own path in life.

It's not only applied in relationships between parents and children -- it's even more commonly invoked in breakups between former friends or partners. People feel the need to establish which party was Mentally Ill and Needed Therapy as a proxy for which party was At Fault in the breakup. In reality, breaking up doesn't necessarily mean either party was At Fault, but it's more socially acceptable to say "We had to break up because he's Mentally Ill and Refused To Get Help" rather than "We just didn't get along." Discussions of bad and badly-ended relationships are just constant rounds of uno reverse allegations of Madness/neurodivergence.

One of my least favorite examples is trying to "rebut" the neuromisogynistic trope of "Women are crazy" with "Men cause women to become crazy." Why are you validating "Women are crazy" by trying to "explain" it? Why are you accepting the premise that "crazy" is a bad thing? Why are you reifying the idea that being "crazy" has to be "caused" by something "bad"? If a man says "I broke up with my ex-girlfriend because she's crazy!" why validate the neuromisogyny with "No, you're crazy!" or "You must have made her crazy!" instead of challenging it with "What's wrong with being 'crazy'? What does that have to do with anything?"

If someone says "I stopped speaking to my child because they refused to seek therapy," why validate the neurobigotry with "You're the one who needs therapy!" instead of challenging it with "Why is their choice whether or not to seek therapy any of your business?"

[plethoraworldatlas]

Anthony Po's video is worse than you thought

This video actually looks at and breaks down Anthony Po's infamous video in deep detail and wow is it worse than JUST recording sexual activities without consent.

Starts with revealing that Anthony made a fake "furry identity" where his idea of what a furry is was a raging classist, sexist, ableist fatophobe who was very much a "annoying autistic" caricature from 2000s "humor".

He also decided it was a funny joke to make said fake furry influencer a registered sex offender and zoophile ("joking" about how he wasn't allowed near schools and making a whole TikTok where the "joke" was him stalking a man because he wanted to assault his dog)

Probably Used AI generated images for the "art" he had of his fake character

Bought an incredibly affordable for what it was pre-made fursuit and just spent the whole video talking trash on it and the maker and artist of it

Talked zero about any art or artists he "used". In fact, he didn't speak about the art side of furry Fandom AT ALL

The whole video is filled with 2000s Homophobia and not once does he mention the amount of LGBT+ furries or even says the word gay at all, despite the fact the entire goal of the video is violating the privacy of LGBT people and recording their sex acts for sensationalism.

He mentions once how a large part of the Fandom is neurodivergent, but in a way that sounds like "haha, the reason they're all cringe weirdos is because they're mental". Also dips into Homophobia and infantilizing neurodivergent LGBT people

He pretends to join a famous furry news site to get a con press pass, ghosts the news team after one email, uses their badge to get people to let him interview them, takes credit for a feelgood article he didn't write, generally disrespects the new site he took advantage of for their reputation

Speaking of, he interviewed people (again posing as a trusted journalist) but cut out nearly all the interviews about the Fandom because people weren't giving him what he wanted (he wanted to play a scare cord when someone said something sexual but no one did because obviously) so he skips by all of it except the parts he makes fun of for being neurodivergent people

He tries out for the dance competition, solely because he needs a B plot for his video and he thinks it will get him invited to "sex parties", doesn't practice at all, is shocked he doesn't make it, then crashes the competition anyway to utter silence of the crowd and doesn't even watch other dancers and just leaves the con after

Another thing is him constantly conflating "room parties" the sexual thing he treats like a big secret and is looking to film, and any kind of furry event or party whatsoever. So he treats all furry events like they're sex events in editing. Trying to make it seem like there's no divide between sfw and NSFW events

He flat out LIES about Con dealers den policy to make it seem like Kids are gonna see porn because THINK OF THE CHILDREN (LITERALLY AN UNIRONICALLY). Literally lies and says "8 year Olds can just go to the dealers den and buy porn" when in reality you need ID and a badge (which also requires ID) to get into, the dealer who's product they show off having obvious +18 markers on everything

Homophobia looking at obviously gay porn magazines

Passes out tacky "invite me to sex party" business cards, at the end of the video announces he's selling them (at ridiculous prices). Said sales of leftover cards would more than surpass the amount of money he donated to the Trevor project as an "apology". He also made the video a charity video to deflect blame, even though it has generated zero donations other than what he donated and not addressing the actual issues with the video

Asks to be part of Gay group chats planning the parties he is after and is Homophobic and surprised they are gay and talk about sex. Mock people's bodies and nudes and is disgusted by gay sexuality as a joke.

Jokes about how he's gonna be molested/forced by "older predators" when he actually goes to the parties for consensual sex. "Gays are predators/groomers and rapists" Homophobia abound

recording a room party without consent, using the footage to have an animated verison created for his video

Recording a room party with consent for personal private viewing, BUT NOT CONSENT TO BE USED IN A PUBLIC YOUTUBE VIDEO. This is the video he shows in the original video

Pretending to wrap the video up with a feel good message, despite literally everything he did being shit

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I know a lot of people feel in their early days, Jimin was kinda heavy-handed with his attention on Jungkook, but I think Jimin acted that way primarily for Jungkook's benefit. I mean it's clear Jimin has cared for Jungkook deeply since debut but I feel the way he displayed it, so loudly and sometimes almost obnoxiously, acted as a key stabilizing and assuring force for JK in an environment that could've easily overwhelmed him.

This is a fresh take on the whole dynamic. I’ve never thought of it from this perspective or never seen anyone else point it out. Is it a popular thought? I felt that Jimin was only playing the extremely manly flirty character that he was asked to play and it’s the popular theory too. Tho’ it wasn’t sitting well because this is the same guy who gave JHope his fan letters and questioned stereotypes and was ok with wearing a pink dress in AHL etc etc.

***

Yeah… I’m not sure I can call it a theory, not to talk of if it's popular. It’s just how I saw them at the time, and it still feels consistent with how I’ve seen their interactions and relationship progress.

Jimin had his role to play in the group just as they all did. That’s true. But I also think, with what we know of Jungkook’s personality and their environment, their relationship could be easily explained, considering.

I mean, let’s think about it. The idol industry is incredibly fast-paced, hectic beyond what anyone can imagine, Jungkook was still in school when they debuted and had to juggle their activities with his classes. We know that when Jimin was still in school, he’d wake up at 6:30 AM and then after school, practice till around 2:30 AM before going to bed. We know from jikook’s words that Jungkook was often with him for some of this time, sometimes even sleeping with him in the practice room. So, JK was putting in work too, perhaps not to the same levels Jimin did, but Jungkook was also younger than him. All the guys had big responsibilities already, and it’s clear from footage in their early days that all of them were all just trying to stay afloat mentally, physically, and otherwise.

In that sort of environment, at that period of Jungkook’s development, with his age and what I suspect to be possible neurodivergent traits, it would’ve been very easy for him to get swept away, in a sense. To become overwhelmed and 'detach', develop unhealthy coping habits and such. Jungkook is someone who by his own admission, needs a lot of love. All the members made sure to keep an eye on him, but Jimin seemed to take it upon himself to love Jungkook, loudly. To shower him with attention as though to remind him, "I see you", "I'm watching you", "I'm in your corner always and I'm here for you".

Jimin obviously loved and cared for Jungkook back then, and it was mutual, but the way he went about showing it was one of the biggest indications of his emotional intelligence, to me. He was mocked for how he appeared to be all over Jungkook, the members too would make fun of him, but I don't think he was stupidly, blindly 'in love'. At least not quite at that point. I think he showed remarkable awareness of his own emotions, Jungkook's needs, and the environment they were in. And Jimin used all of that to his advantage and to Jungkook's benefit because it served the purpose of emotionally assuring JK, while improving JK's profile within the group (people look more desirable when it seems other people desire them), further building his confidence.

It's remarkable to me that before they debuted when Jungkook got overwhelmed and said he wanted to quit BTS to become a company dancer, the person he went to with that worry was Jimin. Jimin who was the last trainee to join their agency - so, a relatively recent addition to the group. That, to me, shows one way their bond was already quite deep, even back then, a connection that I think Jimin was intentional on developing with Jungkook. When they had their infamous rainy day fight, when all the other members sort of tossed their hands in the air after letting loose on JK, it sticks out to me that the breaking point for Jungkook was Jimin telling him, "You know what, do whatever you like. I won't care for you anymore."

Jimin's presence in Jungkook's life can't be overstated. I think over time, as Jungkook grew up and matured, he recognized how integral Jimin was to him, began to better acknowledge Jimin's needs as well and their relationship became deeper, more reciprocal and balanced. And that's how we ended up with GCF in Tokyo, as an example. I also feel this 'dance' of recognizing each other's needs and loving each other in-line with their personal boundaries, is an ongoing process for them.

[watashime-ciel]

user rockintapper has spoken. and it made me realize, i actually never told a part of my rockers headcanons

so after a long time of the group The Rockers, stress started to build up inside both of them cuz. yknow. fame.

they disbanded and decided to follow their own path in music. of course they are still dating theyre neurodivergent but not stupid

j.j was way too open about what he was doing, but cecil was way too secretive(?), never opened up or shared what they were doing. and most of the times j.j would ask cecil out, but cecil would say no because they already had plans. what plans? we don't know

after a few months tho, cecil announced they were the singer of a popular band now, since their vocalist retired

when j.j heard the news, he exploded. not because he was mad. he was confussed. "you do realize you disbanded from me because of fame and now you joined a band with even MORE fame than us!?"

...cecil didn't think of that.

in fact, cecil doesn't thinks.

in the end, cecil ended up more overwhelmed than before, and left said band

The Rockers were no more, but they keep playing together because that's what partners do

nintendo knew what they were doing when j.j said "i couldn't ask for a better partner"

havent given that band a name besides the band™, but yknow. its just a little soushi reference, but without stupidity(?)

[jewishconvertthings]

Hi! So, I’m a fictive in a plural system. The body is halachally Jewish by reform standards (patrilinear) but in exomemories, my family was WASP-y as hell. I’m reasonably sure I need to go through the process to convert and I consider myself a Jew in progress, however, I’ve got absolutely no idea how to explain the situation to a rabbi. I actually tried reaching out over email to one at the shul we half heartedly attend, but I didn’t get an answer. I’m not sure if it ended up in spam somehow or if he did see it and thought I was fucking with him or crazy. Or both. I don’t have any guarantees I’ll be in the system forever, though I’ve been here for like three years now. Is it worth trying again? The shul is Reform and super chill with LGBT stuff, but I don’t know what that means for the scarier neurodivergences.

Hi there!

So you are definitely not the first (and I doubt you'll be the last) person to ask about plurality and conversion to Judaism here. Because of that, I am giving a much more extensive answer that may exceed the scope of your question, because I want to be able to hopefully assist others with similar questions. Thank you in advance for your patience!

Here's the thing about being plural and conversion - you convert as a unit. Once the body is halachicly Jewish, that's it, you all are. Judaism is interesting in that we already canonically believe in (at least Jews) having multiple souls. Additionally, there is the mystical idea that the soul of every convert was at Sinai and therefore that when someone is driven to convert it's because they already had a Jewish soul. However, they still need to convert.

Why? Because Judaism is an embodied religion. It is very much about taking things that exist in the animal world and elevating them to sanctity through mitzvot. Every human and animal pees, but Jews say a bracha afterwards because we are grateful that our body's innards are working correctly enough to make that possible. Every human and animal eats, but Jews keep kosher and say brachot to sanctify what goes into our bodies. Judaism even has mitzvot related to married couples' conduct with their spouse, especially in relationship to menstruation. For as much as Judaism believes in souls, it equally believes in grounding those souls in the earthly realm and therefore liberating the divine sparks of creation in the process.

Which is all to say: Judaism is also a group project. We are judged collectively as a nation on Rosh Hashana and repent as a nation on Yom Kippur. Even if you were a singlet, you would still need to consider carefully whether you were prepared to join in the collective project of mitzvot. People who have existing familial ties to others may find it more challenging to convert. What if your spouse or teenage children do not wish to convert with you? It is often still possible to convert (I did, and my spouse did not convert with me) but it requires at least some amount of buy-in support from those you live with and are permanently tied to, even if they are not directly joining you. My spouse, who again is not Jewish and did not convert with me, still knows at least as much about kashrut as I do because he does the vast majority of the cooking, he helps me clean and prep for Pesach every year, and he actually eats pesadik food with me every year so as not to bring chametz into the house. He helps me prepare the house for Shabbat and does not interfere with the setup, and works around my observance. It's a huge commitment from a gentile who does not believe in G-d and appreciates but does not wish to join the Jewish people.

Your system has to be on board. They just do. Because if/when you decide not to front or determine that it's time to move on or what-not, the body will still be halachicly Jewish and it will be up to those running it to determine how to act in light of that reality.

For what it's worth, I am very familiar with a system who converted, and I have learned about what their internal conversation was like beforehand. It was extensive! They operate like a family, and there are six of them. Two it was clear right away were dyed-in-the-wool Jewish and were they singlets, nothing could have stopped them from becoming observant Jews. (One probably would have tried to become a rebbetzin and the other would've become a gay yeshiva bochur. Alas ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.) Two of them were people who would make excellent Jews, but probably also could've stayed excellent pagans. The fifth is very much a skeptic and the sixth was very much a Witch. The middle two were easy to sway after being exposed to queer-friendly Judaism. The fifth only agreed after understanding enough about Yiddish socialism and the history of Jewish leftism and secular culture that he realized he could very much appreciate yiddishkeit even if he didn't really believe in G-d (or if G-d is real, didn't really trust or like G-d given the state of the world.) He basically agreed that as long as he never had to do the davening or ritual mitzvot, he was cool with it.

The sixth acquiesced to the majority. She was very uneasy about making an eternal vow of any kind to any being, but especially one as powerful as the Almighty, and especially with something as complicated to follow as the mitzvot. She was reassured by the process of Yom Kippur to annul vows (Kol Nidrei) and to reset the slate through teshuva and collective forgiveness. She was also very nervous about the concept of tying one's fate to the collective fate of the Jewish people in terms of said agreement to keep the mitzvot. Her position was basically: You Don't Make Deals With Things You Can't See, and YES That Absolutely Includes Hashem. But! If the rest were going to insist on doing that anyway, well. They'd better be willing to hold by that Forever, even after death. How frum were they willing to be? After some further discussion (fifth alter's reluctance notwithstanding) they collectively agreed that they would agree to the mitzvot on the terms of the Conservative movement. The fifth alter agreed that he would not do anything to disrupt the others' observance even if he personally might have done differently as a secular/atheist Jew, e.g. watched TV on Shabbat or driven somewhere besides shul.

It's worth noting that I got this story because we are friends and that once they had full system buy-in, they decided for safety reasons *not* to discuss this particular wrinkle of psychology with their rabbis. Now, part of that decision was that that are a healthy system that works well together, has had extensive post-trauma therapy that *did* work with each alter individually as well as the system collectively, and were totally functional (after therapy) without any sort of psychiatric intervention. They were unwilling to jeopardize the relative safety from mental health institutions and their professional career by "coming out" about their plurality to anyone of authority in person or online. (I have obtained their collective permission to share this story as anonymized through myself as a third party to help other systems who are considering giyur.)

So to be clear, this is the advice I would offer as a layperson and as an informed friend.

**Major important reminder that I am not a rabbi or a mental health professional.**

Now, your situation is somewhat different from theirs, in that any conversion you make is going to be to solidify your halachic status as someone who is already Jewish in a major way and probably considered Jewish by the Reform movement already. They did not have previously existing ties to Judaism, whereas even if you do nothing, you will still be Jewish (even if not halachicly so by the traditional movements.)

I would recommend having a full system discussion. You want to figure out what your system, as a collective unit, needs, wants, and is willing to go along with. You will want, as part of this discussion, to do a major mental health and system balance analysis as well. How stable is your system? How functional are you as a group in the broader world? How healthy are your relationships to one another? Do you have trauma to unpack first? Need some type of therapeutic intervention? Do it now; do it first.

Then, if everyone is on board (enough) and working well together as a system, I would approach a rabbi to convert as a unit. It's up to you to determine how much, if anything, to disclose about your plurality to the Rabbi, so long as you can honestly tell him that you are [all] mentally well and stable. It is very possible to be a healthy system and/or to have long-term chronic mental illnesses while still being relatively stable and mentally well. Lots of people with well-managed mood disorders, personality disorders, developmental disorders, and even reality and dissociation disorders can and have converted. Judaism can truly be a place of peace and a shelter for the troubled. However, you must know yourself(/ves) well and you must be willing to seek professional help first or along the way if needed.

All of the plural stuff aside, I would recommend reaching out again after the high holidays and/or considering reaching out to a Conservative rabbi. The Reform movement may already consider you Jewish and therefore may not want to do a giyur l'chumra. The Conservative movement (much as I might personally disagree with it on this point) would not consider you halachicly Jewish and would be delighted to help you solidify your Jewish identity. If you ultimately decide not to convert but rather to reclaim and learn through the Reform movement, please know that you still have a place here. It's labeled as a gerische space, but the same types of resources and communities tend to help both gerim and reclaimants. We would be delighted to help you connect to your heritage and people and to support you doing so in a way that feels the most correct and appropriate to you.

Wishing you all the best in your exploration, a shana tova, and a meaningful Yom Kippur if you are observing it!

[marsconer]

THE SNAPE GANG ( mar’s version )

- two members were made up by me

- they are all girls because our boy has big only guy in a girls friendgroup

- argue with the wall

severus snape, finn wolfhard :

slytherin, obviously, the half blood prince himself. big neurodivergent, probably autism. has a lot of emotional walls that his friends either work around or smash it with chaotic energy. he was the last addition to their little group and totally not on his own volition. he was dragged here by penelope gaunt but he didn’t have much else do to on this friday night vibes. just straight up feral cat vibes. love him .

penelope gaunt, mackenzie foy :

slytherin. my personal take on a spawn of voldemort, placed on the marauders era. penelope, poor sweet girl, she’s a slytherin and she accepted very early in life she will never scape her fathers claws. she bonded with severus in their second year due to having daddy issues and she dragged him to places when lily dropped him for good ( and with good reason. we don’t do excuses for our boy here ) but they had a similar fallout when severus got his dark mark.

aurora sinistra, lovie simone :

ravenclaw. you know, you love her. she’s our resident smartass and star girl. she takes no shit, she’s gay, she’s intellectually inclined and curious and a bit of dark academia icon. she was born in a muggle town really close to hogwarts and spent ten years of her life telling everyone about the castle on the hill while no one believed her.

cassandra duarte, jenna ortega :

slytherin, an exchange student from castelobruxo with an unusual approach to magic itself and a talent for divination and herbology, specially herbs. cassandra arrived at the school on fifth year and missed her homeland, trying to the dictatorships aplenty of south america in the 70s and ending up in another war, she broke off with her house and friendship and joined the order of the phoenix. her bond with severus and aurora was based on being a big brain bad bitch who really liked exploring the exploring magic itself. snape had his spells, aurora had her star and cassandra has tarot, herbs and tea leaves.

charity burbage, zoe colletti :

hufflepuff. the future co-worker and a surprising ray of sunshine and colors and glitter in a sea of ironic, bookworms, lovers of all things dark and gloomy. charity is not the kind of person you would expect to get along with the rest of the group but she works and they all work together. she’s severus hugest ride or die, even in their adulthood when all the other girlies are a bit distance from the rest and haven’t heard from cassandra since their graduation.

[twighdark]

The more I think about my childhood, especially my primary school to early middle school years, i realize how messed up they actually were and I just didn’t notice thanks to my neurodivergency.

I was bullied, relentlessly. Not in the “gimme your lunch-money”-way, but in the *giving extremely convoluted game rules so you’ll get frustrated and leave* kinda way. The kids who I considered friends only kept me around for a handful of reasons:

- free entertainment because I was “too stupid” to notice them tricking/making fun of me,

- defending them against teachers since I was a good student and had some more breathing space,

- doing the homework they didn’t wanna do because it was “too hard” for them, and I just wanted to help,

- asking me favours they knew I wouldn’t come to collect,

- an extra birthday party to attend, and finally:

- me being far too understanding and not angry when they didn’t want me around for any reason.

The moment we hit 5th grade, the boy who I considered to be my best friend told me flat-out that he was not interested in being friends anymore. It hurt badly, especially since he was so nonchalant about it, but I just rationalized it away. we’d be in different classes, after all.

Nope, he had just never really thought of me as an actual friend at all. Turns out his grandmother had put him up to it, since she “felt sorry” for me.

A “good-luck letter” that we were supposed to write to one of our friends at the end of 4th grade, since some of us would be going to other schools, came from my homeroom teacher while I wrote something for said friend. But that was okay, since everyone else had already figured out who was writing to whom, and I had just been to slow to join a group.

Nope, they deliberately exluded me, since nobody was interested in writing to the weird, fat kid, and my teacher felt sorry for me.

In general, the only reason why adults always seemed to favour my opinion was because it coincided with theirs. I was a nice, hardworking, undisruptive student. I was an “old soul”. I was convenient. I was such a social outcast that they, while they felt sorry for me, could guiltlessly use me as the joykill rule-enforcer, since my social standing couldn’t possibly get any lower and I happily and dutifully followed every rule there was.

So much more stuff happened, or didn’t happen that should have, that this post could go on forever. And I didn’t even notice it until I was around 17, already better integrated into my environment because I finally perfected my mask. For the most part. Still fat, still a little clueless, but acceptably so. I found that letter from my teacher again. I broke down crying because I finally understood that back then, my “friends” couldn’t have cared less and I was always just a charity case to the teachers.

In the end, I grew either smart, confident, or manipulative enough to not be messed with anymore. I lost a good chunk of my genuine kindness to those changes, and the changes hurt. I had to reinvent my whole personality and approach just to not be the clueless laughing stock anymore, and I lost a lot of myself in the process.

I got some genuine friends later on who are mostly, ya guessed it, also neurodivergent. I still struggle with differentiating which parts of me were actually there in the first place, and which parts I had to build out of self defense, because those are the ones that give me breakdowns.

I spent the majority of my life thinking I just had a normal childhood. The moment the truth hit me, so many of my mannerisms, my anxieties, my traumas, finally made sense. And I’m still reeling from it. Likely will be for the rest of my life.

So for the record:

Kids are far more cruel than you might think, kids behaving more like adults than kids is NOT normal or healthy, and if you’re neurodivergent and think your symptoms only showed up once you were a teen or older, reconsider. Chances are, a lot of trauma responses actually stem from stuff you didn’t even notice at first.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can you do Gary x a neurodivergent reader that he keeps trying to indoctrinate, only for them to want to be friends?

The whole "I'm a normal human, just like you" wouldn't work on me personally. I would assume he was autistic or had some form of ptsd and some very interesting interests because of it. Either way, picturing him trying to get a reader to join his cult, only for them to assume he's neurodivergent too and try to be friends with him is just extremely funny to me.

Bonus points if the reader's special interest just so happens to be demons

This is brilliant tbh,,,,just ND to ND communication hshhfhaw

.......

The Eternal Order of the Second Death (EOSD) was keeping tabs on you for a while, noting your frequent visits to the local library.

A thrall masquerading as a staff member had access to your account's checkout history and saw that you only take out books on the occult/demonology/etc.

It's a fixation you usually keep to yourself, not saying much and silently thanking them for not giving you any strange looks (although you never notice their unnerving smile as they wish you a good day).

It's not long before they let Gary know about you, mentioning your fascination with the demon Malphas and the Unspeakable.

He planned to indoctrinate you and show you all the things you could learn and experience within the Order.

Even if you don't become a vessel for the Unspeakable, he believes you'd make a good acolyte in no time.

So he invites you to a "bookclub meeting", where you're taken to a hidden chamber beneath one of the study rooms.

It has its own library with a plethora of forbidden books on demon summoning, instructions for certain rituals, and more (plus a demon who prevents them from being stolen).

Minus the stench of death and the demonic blood sigils on the walls, you're very much intrigued.

Then Gary appears before you and offers you a chance to join them, explaining how long they've been keeping an eye on you.

When he puts down his hood, you could see his flesh is scarred and glasses hiding his eyes, as well as the red eye painted on his forehead.

"...I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Who are you, again?"

"I'm Gary, a normal human being just like you." He smiles in a way that's not-at-all human.

It only takes a second for you to connect the dots.

And not in the "oh he's a demon pretending to be human" way, but instead the "oh he's neurodivergent pretending to be Normal™" kind of way.

It just made sense. Why else would he insist on being a "normal human being"?

He was just like you fr

Again, he offers you a position in the lower ranks, believing you had potential to work your way up to a "greater purpose".

But you only express interest in being friends with him, never really getting the hint that the EOSD didn't rally "friends", but willing sacrifices and worshippers ready to throw their entire lives away for him and his cause.

Gary is fully aware of how you perceive him, but he goes along with it, finding you intriguing.

You're allowed to visit the hidden bookclub, where you might find him a few times, always ready to make his offer.

But you often distract him with long chats and infodumps of demons you've read about.

Even all the things you knew about Astaroth surprised him, and it's quite flattering.

They can go on for a while, and sometimes when he's called to attend to other matters, he abruptly leaves..but it never bothers you.

You get it. Conversations must be exhausting for him and drain his social battery. You'll note to keep them brief next time.

As far as joining the cult goes, you're not a big fan of large groups....so you always say you need "time" to consider.

Regardless, he's not gonna stop trying to convince you. But he wants you to stay interested in the demons, firmly believing you'd be a reliable asset.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta for calling my friend out for ditching a hangout

So I (18nb) and a friend, A (18ftm) had this conversation 2 months ago, we talked about how we'll go watch a movie that we've been really excited about & also celebrate our birthdays together since he'll be on break and back from college. Fast forwards to this week, we agreed that us & a few close friends will be going to the movie together. Suddenly A has to ditch the plan cuz he suddenly has a class scheduled on the day he's supposed to come back, sure no big deal, that's not why I'm upset.

The hangout went through a bit of rescheduling cuz I suddenly had a class cancelled and that freed up my schedule, I have been rescheduling this for more than 4 times now, as I have another function to be at, and also mainly to try to make it so that we can accommodate A since it was his idea to go watch the movie at the first place.

So I texted A about our new plan , but he has a tendency to just straight up ignore our texts for weeks or even months on end. And here's the thing, turns out A had agreed to watching the same movie with his other friend B (18m, who is also my ex, A knows about it & the fact that I am not really on good terms with B). Apparently during the time I had been trying to reach out to A to properly discuss the situation, he had been chatting w B about watching the movie together.

And I feel betrayed by A, we planned this way before B decided to join, and A just won't look at his messages and give me the opportunity to even discuss it with him. I had to reschedule this many times trying to accommodate him, one of the plan was for me to miss out on another function with another friend group btw, I was willing to sacrifice that & annoy my friends just so we can watch the movie together. Just for A to ditch us at last second (the movie is like 2 days away during the time of writing when I've been messaging him about it for a whole week now btw)

And for people thinking that we could've just combined the 2 friend groups & go together, I intended the hangout to be a way to spend time w my queer neurodivergent friends & like get loose a little since I've spent a majority of my time masking, this is an opportunity to let me be myself, something that I don't get to do if B is around. So this hangout means a lot to me.

tl:dr wibta for calling my friend out for ditching a hangout that went through reschedules just so he can make it, just to be told that he is ditching our friends & going with my ex?

What are these acronyms?

[loony-n-moony]

Midoriya Should've Stayed Quirkless.

So i haven't been active in the MHA fandom for quite some time, but nostalgia brought me back to it. And along my nostalgia-fueled binge I've noticed a lot more stuff narrative wise that i kinda wanted to talk about.

That being, of course, that Midoriya (i'll be calling him Deku since it's easier) should NEVER have gotten a quirk.

The narrative theme that MHA pushes (or wants to push i should say), is that "anyone can be a hero" which would be fine and dandy if Deku's entire existence didn't destroy that. What do I mean? I'll tell you.

Literally the very first thing we find out about the world is that quirks are given to 80% of the population, and that little 20% group of "quirkless" people are pretty much shat on in every way, as demonstrated by Bakugou and the entirety of Deku's flashbacks. He's seen as a failure and a wannabe, his mother breaks down sobbing after they get news of his lack of quirk, and he's in utter shambles as well. Despite being able to get into UA on grades alone, it's believed he'll never make it far, and that he simply doesn't have the means to do so. Sound familiar? It should if you're disabled.

Deku is disabled in an allegorical sense, and he honestly doesn't make a bad allegory. It can be interpreted as either physical disability, or neurodivergency due to the broadness of what "quirklessness" entails, along with his overall personality. Things seem to be looking up in this sense, and it would pretty intriguing to see how this kid with no powers makes it by in a school with superpowered kids. Or it would, I should say.

The entire allegory along with the theme completely falls in on itself because Deku, after receiving a speech about how "anyone can be a hero! Even quirkless kids like you!" Immediately becomes allegorically abled a couple scenes later. The entire message becomes completely void after this, as Deku loses pretty much what made his character interesting to begin with.

"But if he did stay quirkless, how would the story even progress?!" I hear you ask, and i can answer that.

See, I am of the opinion that the story would’ve been ten times more interesting had Deku never gotten a quirk. I mean- c’mon. We have Batman don’t we? Sure, we have plenty of characters with downright useless quirks that have made it into UA, so why wouldn’t Deku be the same?

Simple! Just have Deku be the first to join the hero class. A quirkless kid getting by on nothing but his brains and downright insane attunement with his surroundings? And maybe some gadgets from his buddies over at the gear classes? That sounds awesome as fuck! Not to mention nearly all of his relationships with the characters become way more interesting.

Bakugou instead of being threatened by his fantastic new power, instead is witnessing the kid who he bullied for years on end completely dominate any competition thrown his way, and grow his skills at an incredible rate. Not only does he feel threatened, but he’s being proven wrong. Quirkless kids can be heroes. And they can be better than him. Now who doesn’t love a good bully getting their just desserts? And in what is arguably far more satisfying and empowering than just, “Wow Deku has better powers than me”. It also makes his sports arc moment with Todoroki feel far more satisfying as well.

“It’s your power not his” feels strangely more impactful when you realize Deku had to get his “power” from the ground up. He used what he had to get by, despite everyone saying he was nothing. It’s not Bakugou’s, it’s not his parents, and it’s not Allmight’s, it’s his.

Speaking of Allmight, where would he even fit in all this nonsense? Well, who said he had to give Deku a quirk to be his mentor? It was already pre-established that Allmight was thinking of giving Mirio his quirk. If we could have Allmight have already given his quirk to Mirio, it would not only give us a foreshadow of his character, but also give Allmight a reason for Deku to not have his quirk. Allmight used to be quirkless himself, so seeing a little boy in a similar position to himself when he was younger, and wanting to give that kid the chance to prosper for who he is? Not only is that super sweet, but honestly makes Allmight look like a better person.

There were so many ways in which the story could continue as we see it with the omission of Deku’s quirk. And I’m my eyes, a far more satisfying and empowering story that keeps its narrative.

[aita-blorbos]

aita for joining a terrorist group?

okay, so like, a while back I found this absolute wet cat of a child. we're bonded forever and sisters now so that's cool. my parents didn't think it was cool though. so they got her sent to some weird sketchy ass psychiatrist's weird sketchy ass orphanage.

anyways I hear someone saying that he had lightning scars and one of his patients is missing and I know the only one there smart enough for that is her. I look around for her but never really find her.

Then one day a women shows up at my door. Powerful. Absolute. And anyways yeah it's my sister, who's stuck in some kind of time loop hell right now and trying to get out of a prison she accidentally fell in. She's just talking through a phone shaped like a person.

She says shes taking over a terrorist group to free herself and like, yeah, Id do the same but fail halfway through. So obviously I say "hell yeah sis" and then she's just demolishing it like she owns the world, and I'm coasting behind her cuz I'm her favorite :3

anyways after that she's gonna take her group to fight a bunch of people for fun and asked me if I could take over this AWESOME tech building and hold em for a bit. So yeah, I transfer over (cuz I'm a haxxor xp) and I'm just wondering if I'm doing the right choice now? Like yeah maybe I shouldn't have been so thrilled to join a terrorist group but also I'd literally kill myself if she asked me to.

Eeh maybe I'm just bored. I'm watching the battles through security cams though and it's so funny. That old sketchy psychiatrist is getting his ass killed. Nice.

Update: SAYONARA SUCKERS

Update: okay. Yeah. She's uh. Not leaving her time prison. And just spawning in minor gods now. It's enriching for her!! Be nice to her she's literally neurodivergent AND a minor. And also god I think.

Update!!!! I don't actually care what ANY of you fuckers say now, she's out!!! We're still besties!!!!!! Fuck yeah I love my sister

[moonlight-tmd]

Prowlbee with them and the team learning what ADHD is. And it's some human that finally diagnoses Bee with it. Knowing how Cybertron is, they likely don't have proper neurodivergant care if at all

Bee and Sari thought of a fun idea for an activity to pass their time since the tv was broken- quizzes.

It started innocent with quizzes about how much do you know about a certain game, then it went to magic and spirit animals- that's when Prowl decided to join in. And so now all 3 of them were sitting on the couch with their techpads/phones answering quizzes about personality types and similar.

Bee was the first to break the enlonged silence. "Hey uh- Sari? What is ADHD? I just got that on the quizz." Sari looked up from her phone and looked at Bee's datapad- he had a different quiz than her, maybe because he was keen on finishing his the fastest and finding some other ones for them to try.

"Uh i think it's when your brain can't focus on one thing for long. It's like, you can't sit still and you wanna do so much stuff but also can't - and you have those vivid ideas when doing certain stuff,.. at least from what I heard." Sari explained, she wasn't a medic and didn't have it diagnosed herself so obviously she didn't know much.

That however was enough to get Ratchet's attention, the old medic was fixing said tv not far away from the group. He listened to the whole conversations and walked over to Bee. "Show me that techpad."

"Uh- sure?" Bee didn't know whether to be confused or concerned.

"So what's up? Does Bee have ADHD?" Sari asked as Ratched read the article that popped up along with the quiz result.

"Obviously no, that's not a thing on Cybertron!" Bee was so confident, there was nothing wrong with him at all- "No, you do."

Bee only blinked when Ratchet anwered. "What."

"On Cybertron, certain personality traits and glitches are most often not taken as anything more than said personality traits and glitches. Many disorders are not registered in Cybertron's health database. From the medical archives on Earth I can see humans came to a conclusion of the importance of them needed to be catalogued." Ratchet explained calmly before he handed back Bee the techpad. "Your behavior is one big stamp confirming this, you have ADHD."

Bee just stared off to some wall. Huh, so that's why he's like this?

He didn't get to ponder in awkward silence for too long before Prowl spoke up, he was doing his own quiz while listening to what just happened here.

"Hey Sari-" He looked up from his own techpad with an undeadable expression. "What does "autistic" mean?"

So yeh, those two learned something new. And neither of them have any idea how to deal with it. XD

I had this idea for a while now, so glad i could finally write it.

I think Ratchet would prescribe him some calming meds for it that Bee of course forgets to take often. He only remembers they exist in his drawer when he's all over the place and it's miserable to do anything.

Prowl- idk what about Prowl, Prowl is just Prowl. There ain't much trouble with him.

[mostautisticangel]

vent post about my shitty life and my shitty mom

so during the pandemic i discovered i was most likely adhd and autistic. since then I've just self-diagnosed. It explains a lot of things going on with me.

Most of such things are interactions with my mother. Specifically my mother. I think my dad might be autistic but i'm not sure. he's not as bad as mom but he's still a shitty parent.

So my mother is the absolute peak of Strict Republican Christian Homeschooling White Mom. Every stereotype you can think of, she has (except having like 6 kids, THANK GODDESS). And that means that I, a queer autistic creature, do not fit into her picture perfect little Good Christian Family.

Ever since I was little I was obviously neurodivergent. I was every single stereotype except the fact I was a girl. I went to public school for two years: preschool and kindergarten.

Turns out, I was """gifted""" wow! not like that phrase means anything to autistic people! So mom signed me up for this fancy hybrid private school. I went two days a week, wore the ugliest fucking uniform you've ever seen, and all the kids thought i was weird.

I don't remember much of it (thank goddess) except how much i hated it. I went there for two years. then mom found this homeschool community group thing and signed me up. I've been in it since 3rd grade. we buy the books, do the assigned work, and meet with the community once a week.

I forgot to mention my dad is in the military, so we moved a lot. a LOT. my current best friend i haven't even known for a year. i've never been friends with anyone for longer than 3 years. But military brat trauma is a separate post this is about my neurodivergence.

(I wont be naming specific states for privacy so bear with me) The first place we lived since joining this group was okay. I met some people, two of which i think were neurodivergent, the rest were typical Christian kid assholes.

I specifically remember this one girl who was my friend (well, what 9 year old me thought was a friend) who was really nice to me and seemed to like me but she always insulted my interests and called me weird.

There was this other boy, who i still know and is still an asshole. He would literally go through my backpack and take out my stuff and bully me for it. I used to take stuffed animals and my little pony fanfiction to school to show my one nice (probably neurodivergent) friend. What kind of person does that. what the fuck.

so we moved away from there and to a new place. this was at the end of 2019. we bought an rv, thinking we'd only be in this stae for 18 months, and we could travel! we could go up to canada!

i was already MASSIVLEY against the idea of the rv. when my mom made the announcement i BROKE INTO TEARS. i still remember it. i am very emotionally attached to my Things, and having lots of Things makes me happy. the thing about rv living is that you don't have Things.

I'm just now realizing this is like a trauma cocktail i have. we have queer kid trauma, autistic kid trauma, van life kid trauma, military brat trauma, going through tween years during covid trauma, christian kid trauma, living in The South trauma, you want it come get it folks.

anyways, i had to put all my shit in a storage unit and was never the same. i legit blacked out most of the time in the rv because of how fucking horrible it was. i just sat in my room on my goddamn kindle fire all day because mom wouldn't let me have a phone.

At this point in my life, i was a gacha kid. no no, don't panic, i was a normal one. i thank my lucky stars for that. so i decided, fuck it, secret youtube channel. here's the thing: we werent allowed youtube. at all. under any circumstances. still arent. technically we're not allowed any internet use besides like google or something. because everyone on the internet is a pedophile.

I also ended up getting discord. i had so much fun. i made so many friends and one of them invited me to join a queer server. this is where i got better.

being a Sheltered Homeschooled Kid, I didn't know much. i say much as opposed to anything because i watched she-ra and s1 of the owl house was out so yeah. i knew they existed. but not much.

so i learned lots of new terms and went "hey! i might be one of these!" idr my first label, I think it was pan. which was actually right. at the time i was %100 convinced i was cis. i even made jokes about it. then one day the egg cracked and i was like "oh im transmasc." i also adopted the aroace label by then.

one of my old friends from that old homeschool group reached out to me and asked if i knew about discord. she thought we would be able to play minecraft together over it. i said yes. i invited her to the server. she was really nice and respectful and found out some things about herself.

but her parents went through her phone, found out, and called my mom. cue the trauma.

i remember this so distinctly. that night, both of my parents yelled at me for """talking to strangers on the internet""" I'd lose all my devices for a month. which was insane because what else was I supposed to do? all my stuff was in the storage unit.

the next morning i got a yelling at because """gay people are bad"""" thank GODDESS they found out in that tiny window of time i identified as cis but asexual. if they thought i was trans or queer i'd be dead. (i am trans AND queer. i have no doubt that they wouldn't disown me if they knew.)

then she went through my yt channel and boy oh boy did i get lucky. she only watched a few videos. she watched the one of me making my intro. i used the song "honeypie" bc i thought it was vibey and funky. mom got mad because "you know this is a song about sex, right?" blew my little 12 year old mind. im autistic i'm so fucking bad at metaphors. so fucking bad. then she just told me to delete it. so i did.

and my main oc was supposed to be a boy but for some reason she didn't say anything? he wasn't even a femboy he was very masc looking with a masc name. so. weird. then again, my mom thought fucking Wriothesley from genshin impact was "trying to look like a girl" so who knows whats going on in that head of hers (fr tho?? WRIO?!?! HUH?? IS IT CAUSE OF THE EARRINGS??? IM SO CONFUSED LITERALLY HOW??? dont show her venti ig)

so i just gave up trying by then.

mom got much more aggressive in the rv. she yelled at us for almost every tiny little thing.

and my new class? hell. jail. hate them all. (except you caleb you were a sweetheart.) there was stereotypical racist sexist homophobic country boy who borderline sexually assaulted me so thats fun. (whats more fun is that he's coming to visit this summer! la-dee-fucking-da!!!) a weeb with concerning opinions on women, and just the most autistic fella you've ever met. that was caleb. ily caleb you were the only one keeping me sane. he liked to talk about his lizards and his goats and lord of the rings and i could listen for hours. i mightve been in love.

the teacher was nice though. she was the racist country boy's mom. i say "teacher" but she was just like the one in charge of making sure we all followed the curriculum. our own parents were our actual teachers. still, that class was a nightmare. for three years i had to endure it. AND WE WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE RV FOR 18 MONTHS. FUCKING LIARS.

anyways we moved to my grandparents so my dad could find a non-military job and we could buy a house. i joined a local volunteer program and met my current best friends, @aubreymonobry and @tboymagnus i literally love you guys so much you don't know how much you saved meeeeee <3

we had fun. i moved away again once dad got a job and we got a house. i joined a new class. same program, new people. we had: peak annoying gen z boy, most basic white girl you've ever met (affectionate) girl with highly concerning views, and guy who i am literally in love with hnggg he is so silly and goofy RAHHHH and actually nice and respectful im gonna dieeee <3

so now i'm here. im not going back to that class. im doing %100 homeschooling next semester. BUT i dont have to learn latin anymore and i wont have to read a book a week so thats good. ive been learning how to mask better and i think its working. i got all my stuff back and have cluttered up my room to the max and i actually feel happy again. sure, mom might be worse than ever and the career path i'm studying for is absolute shit and the economy is in shambles and i might get murdered for literally existing and i live on the whims of my borderline alchoholic and emotionally abusive mother BUT WE STAY SILLY! I AM OKAY!!! I WILL MAKE IT!!!! I WILL MOVE OUT AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE SOON!!!! I HAVE MY FRIENDS! AND THE SILLY LITTLE GAY PEOPLE ON MY PUTER!!!

i might revisit this post a few years later and add on to it. for now, im just a silly teenager doing things that make me happy and doing my best to survive. i think that's the best i can do

if you read this far, wow thanks, friend. :3 hope you have a good day <3

[minnowshell]

Band Kid Ramblings

because it is the end of the school year and thus so many bands things have happened in the past two months and also I am very tired and when I am tired I rambles

-----------

We got first place in a competition! That was fun. Previously our band has never gotten gold/first place (at least out of recent memory).

Then we got to go visit multiple museums and that was amazing (And Dave & Busters, food bad, DDR is the best).

And then they put so many neurodivergent overstimulated kids on a cruise. Probably not their best idea to be fair. Got some great photos of the city-line at night tho!

-----------

Also jazz band season ended which is sad. My jazz band was more like a jazz combo, as I quote, "We have one trumpet, his name is [Bob], and he plays clarinet."

Our pieces were really fun! I played melody the entire time during Girl From Ipanema (on flute), other than when our vibraphone player was playing. I hate the rhythm but once you hear the song in your head it is a okay.

-----------

Marching band season is here again as well! More so we had our two days of preseason and then we start up again in August with a band camp that I'm arriving two days late for, jet-lagged and sounding vaguely Scottish.

The Matador themed show this year has amazing music. I love Spanish style marches and now being a brass playing in the marching band (I joined mello this year) heightens that with cool melody bits.

However, I am the only mello. (the only other mello got moved to baritone because the other two baritones are a - Drum Major 1, and b - a guy who has only played cello before) And with this I don't know if I'm going to be grouped with the altos or the trumpets. Not even my band directors or the people who wrote the music know. I've even written in my music when I'm a Trumpet or an Alto Saxophone.

"A mellophone is a trumpet with an identity crisis" - [Trumpet]

Ayyyy more abilities for chaos

-----------

And now because I have nothing else to really say here's some band quotes: I'm pansexual for sour patch kids. - [Alto]

Don't punch the metal. Metal hurts. - [Trumpet, red-head version]

Until you C the D, no wait. - [FHorn]

*intense beatboxing*…. *intense beatboxing on horn*…. that doesnt really work... - [FHorn, same guy, he's graduated now :( ]

We fixed our issues, jazz issues. Personal issues we still have. - [Mr Jazz Director]